#I mean I'm not sure how common this is but I've seen it in enough fanfic for it to be a trend

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

Also @aidoneushatesmilk asked me to do #8 for Disco Elysium SO -- 8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about For the sake of thoroughness I'm saving my original answer below this one because I WENT OFF lmao but as a second probably more accurate answer -- I feel like people exaggerate Jean's anger issues. Again, I haven't finished playing, but I'm struck by how... I dunno, normal his conversation with Harry seems to be while undercover? Like yeah he's annoyed and sarcastic and grumpy but jesus the way some of the fandom likes to knock him around you'd think all he's good for is being depressed and angry over Harry. I'm applying the He Xuan treatment to him. He's my favorite side character now and I understand him in a way no one else does, or I will once I finish the game anyway. I am going to make it my personal mission to understand Jean Vicquemare in a way no one should ever want to. He's my babygirl now.

Secondary answer below the cut:

[kicks in the door, skids to a stop and faceplants] okay listen to me. I am holding everyone's cheeks so gently when I say this.

Kim would not be into watching Harry cry and much less making him cry. This legit should have been my "you can't understand why so many people like this thing" answer except I get WHY. I know why we want it, like. Trust me I do. I've read the set ups.

But a post I saw yesterday put into good words why I feel that way and it comes back to "When Harry's soft, Kim is softer. When Harry has more bite, Kim bites back." There's no evidence to me, at all, that Kim enjoys kicking Harry when he's down. When he reacts less-than-favorably to Harry shaving his face, he also tries to backtrack it to be nicer about it. The times he snaps is when Harry's actively been an asshole about something, i.e. not being a "sad cop" about it. But ultimately Kim is all about remaining in control of himself, his actions, the way others perceive him and his professionalism (the constant reminders about not making the RCM look bad...). And while I think Kim is trained to deal with extreme emotions, it doesn't come naturally to him. I think confronted with a crying Harry Du Bois, for whatever reason, Kim's first instinct would be, "This has to stop before anything productive can get done." So I just like... I cannot imagine a world where Kim Kitsuragi, as he is presented in canon, would enjoy watching or making Harry cry. There we go. There's my hot take from reading so. much. fanfiction.

[fallen-gravity]

MAJOR BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS, PROCEED WITH CAUTION .

.

.

There's something I've been meaning to talk about that I think a lot more people are overlooking than they should, and that's how The Axolotl presents themself.

We've only seen The Axolotl twice, and even what little information we have about them is only scraping the surface. We know they're a god, we know that they patrol space and time and keep wrongdoers in check and can sentence punishments for interdimensional criminals. We don't know much about them other than their job and that Bill really fucking hates them.

We know now, thanks to The Book of Bill, that Bill's prayers to The Axolotl to save him from disappearing forever worked, and that they were merciful enough to "bring him back", of sorts, and to allow him another chance at life as long as he does a life-sentence of therapy first. Everyone's been talking up a storm about that.

What I don't see many people talking about, and what is one of my favorite parts about this part of the book, is that it's revealed that just like Bill, The Axolotl can change their appearence depending on who they're talking to and whether or not The Axolotl thinks they deserve punishment. Compare the difference between The Axolotl's conversation with Bill after Weirdmageddon (disregard the poor image quality),

To the conversation they had with Dipper and Mabel in the choose your own adventure novel:

HUGE difference, right? When they speak to the twins, they look all cute and squishy and friendly. One could argue it's just a case of the different target audience of the two books, but if you were to ask me, I think there's more evidence in the case that The Axolotl knows that Dipper and Mabel are good kids and mean no harm to them or the rest of the universe, and therefore there's no need to put on an intimidating godlike front. Either The Axolotl hid their true form from Bill because he was not worthy, or they put up a kinder, softer front for Dipper and Mabel because they did not need to be punished. Either way, it seems like The Axolotl can change their appearence based on their judgement of whomever they're speaking to.

And it's just so good!!!! It's so yummy!!! Because Bill was the exact same way. He would change his appearence and his story depending on who he was speaking to. If it's someone he "liked", or someone he wanted to manipulate, he'd take on a cutesy, friendly appearence

But if 's someone who betrayed him, or someone he despises....

BOOM, he's suddenly this horrifying intimidating monster.

IT'S THE SAME COIN! I'm not suggesting they're the same entity, or anything, but it's so interesting that they both use this trick of the eyes for practically opposite reasons; The Axolotl uses it for the greater good, and Bill only uses it for his own personal gain. Their appearence to a person being based entirely on their judegement of said person is such a fun way to think about trust.

If I trust you, I will show you my true form

versus

If you betray my trust, you'll force me to show you my true form.

Mwah. Chef's kiss. 'Cause as much as they would hate to admit it, Bill and The Axolotl sure have a lot in common

[andy-wm]

The Tarot of VMINKOOK

Their dynamic as I see it, and the absolute validation that Jimin and JK are together.

I really enjoyed the 3rd episode of Are You Sure, partly because I love the VMin dynamic, and partly becuse I was relieved to see that JK and Tae got along.

I also enjoyed watching just the three of them together without the rest of the members because I could really focus on the way they interacted.

This post is entirely my own opinion, and based on my observations. Feel free to politely disagree.

What we had was:

The Siblings - JK & KTH

The Cousins - JM & KTH

The Lovers - JM &JK

The Siblings

JK and Tae have peak adolescent sibling energy Pre-adolescent maybe....

It's typical of the petty rivalry of siblings close in age where the younger is the dominant personality and the older is slightly mistified by the audacity of their little brother.

Tae's eye-roll here 🤣

They will argue over nothing, but they will also readily unite when they have a common goal or foe. In this episode, they ganged up on Jimin for the sake of amusing the viewers (I get that they had a mandate to be entertaining but seriously, poor Jimin 🤣.)

At least it gave JK and Tae a reason to cooperate, because we know JK wasn't thrilled about him joining them. And who can blame him... how often do the two of them get away together?

Tae and JK probably have that "I can talk shit about my brother but nobody else can" thing going on, and I am 100% sure either of them would jump to defend the other if someone outside Bangtan gave them reason to.

I'm sure JK sees Tae as a genuine brother, but that doesn't mean Tae doesn't irritate the hell out of him sometimes. We've seen Tae take liberties, and we've seen JK snipe at him.

What is clear to me, seeing the three of them together, is that competitive-natured JK has to curb his desire to compete with Tae for Jimin's attention - to steal Jimin from Tae - and we've seen him do it, so it's not unheard of. The bottom line is, JK doesn't love sharing Jimin. And that being true, having to totally relinquish Jimin must have been... challenging let's say.

Even giving him a Harley to ride wasn't enough compensation for JK's FOMO when VMin were having fun in the car without him. And that grimace he wore when he was enjoying his solo gokart ride was absolutely hilarious too.

The other thing that comes between them, based on what I've seen, is JK's impatience with Tae's quirkiness. JK does not seem to have the gentle fondness or the endless patience Jimin does with Tae, which brings me to...

The Cousins

Tae and Jimin are like those cousins. You know the ones I mean? The cousins who have that magical bond. They connect on some ultraviolet wavelength nobody else can see, and it's both delightful and annoying for everyone around them (especially for the ultra-competitive boyfriend of one of the cousins, who feels like he's the third wheel when the those two get together).

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - same age friends - and this automatically puts them together - they are peers. It creates an instant friendship bond. But their connection seems like more than that, because Jimin and Tae seem to be so at ease together that neither of them has to mask, and that means they trust one another. That type of deep connection between two people can only come from unconditional acceptance.

Tae doesnt know how to use a drive-thru, and Jimin patiently helps him.

I believe that even if they grow apart, their unique connection will always remain... Because you never forget your first, right?

I'm talking about the first person who really sees you.

Maybe they're the first person you come out to and who comforts you when you're afraid of what that might mean for you. Maybe they're the person who never teases you when you miss social cues, and who will quietly explain the joke you didn't get. Whatever your situation, that person is the one who you trust with your real self. You know you're safe with them.

Both Tae and Jimin have characteristics that set them apart. I'm not in the habit of diagnosing people but Tae does make me wonder, the way he lacks social awareness and sometimes goes off on bizzare tangents, and his very individual fashion sense... not to mention his hatred of shoes. Jimin's gender and sexual identity would have been equally challenging for him, trying as he was to fit in and be a strong man.

They would both have felt like outsiders and struggled with connection and belonging, and I think their genuine support of each other is what makes their friendship so special.

I think that's what the soulmates thing is all about.

And who could possibly compete with a soulmate? Only one person...

In this social game of cards, JK holds the trump.

The Lovers

There's only one reason JK would rank higher in Jimin's books than Tae, when Tae automatically has higher standing on both a personal level with Jimin, and a broader social level.

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - they have a bond unique to people born in their year. That bond means younger or older friends are always going to be more distant, because even with close friendships across age groups, honorifics will still apply. Only with chingus can the honorifics completely fall away.

In addition, Tae is older than JK, so automatically holds a higher social standing. Even though Tae and JK are friends, JK should still defer to him, especially where his chingu is concerned. But JK does not.

This can only mean one thing:

Jimin and JK are in a relationship.

JK's status as Jimin's partner outweighs any other relationships Jimin has. Therefore JK stands as an equal next to Jimin, and that shuffles everyone else down a notch.

That's why we see JK squeezing in next to Jimin (sometimes pushing the older members out) so he can get where he needs wants to be.

That's also why, in episode 3, JK could take the bed next to Jimin and leave Tae to sleep on the floor.

Aside from JK's position as Jimin's equal, we can clearly see that he takes care of Jimin in ways he wouldn't if they were not together. He may not defer to Jimin, but he is visibly devoted to him.

I have never had any doubt that Jimin and JK were lovers, and I never for a moment thought they broke up. It's no surprise to me that this is confirned when we see them on this trip.

But I'm still dying to see the next episode with Tae.

Bring on Thursday!!

[qcomicsy]

The Office but it's the Batfamily.

Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.

---

Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.

Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.

---

Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–

Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.

Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.

Bruce, glaring: Hn.

---

Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.

---

Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.

Bernard:

---

Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out

Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.

---

Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.

---

Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–

---

Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.

Steph: And also really fucking funny too.

---

Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.

Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.

---

Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.

Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".

Barbara:

Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?

---

Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–

Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.

---

Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.

---

Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?

Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.

Bernard (gulps): You think?

Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.

---

Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.

---

Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.

---

Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?

Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.

---

Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?

---

Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.

---

Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.

[penelopegarcialovebot]

slow dance

spencer reid x gender neutral reader

summary: you're the only person whose brought out this side of spencer since maeve. and when you two are in rossi's backyard, slow dancing to the music from inside alone, it's when he realizes he'd really like to keep you around.

warnings: fluffy talk about relationships, teensy bit of angst about past relationships and self doubt, happy ending tho!!

♬⋆ .˚ now playing slow dance by clairo

a/n: first fic bare with me we're getting there!!

arms tangled around one another, stepping on eachothers feet, whispering sweet nothings together then laughing because you can't take eachother seriously when it's so quiet.

that's been the entirety of your life for the last hour, with spencer. not your friend, not your boyfriend, but some secret third option in between.

"you look nice tonight." he compliments, and you're sure it's for the millionth time tonight, "i don't think i've ever seen you dressed... formally?"

you're not wearing anything particularly fancy, but it's not exactly casual either. again, a secret third option.

there seems to be a theme of that tonight.

either way, you muster up the courage to tease him, "i don't look nice every other night?"

"well, you know that's not what i meant, i just mean, like, especially tonight. y'know?" he rambles as he moves his hands to your waist again.

"i'm just messing with you." you smile back, arms staying wrapped around his shoulders.

finally, the music from inside starts back up, a slower song.

one of the windows in the kitchen is cracked open just enough for the music to be heard from rossi's backyard. more specifically the pretty, fairy light decorated gazebo he loved to talk about whenever he got the chance as if he didn't live in a mansion.

"you look good tonight too. i'd say i never really see you in stuff like this but that'd be a lie." you say, hands running over his chest, tracing the tie tucked neatly into his brown blazer.

"that's not true. i'm not even wearing my converse, you have to admit that's different." he smiles, teasing back.

he was never really good with sarcasm. penelope prides herself in being the one to fix that, but really, something just clicked in him with you.

"but... thank you." he adds, "i tried to dress a little nicer for you."

"didn't try and out-dress me? how kind." you teased again, and he smiles. he loves that little expression you'd get that told him you thought of something witty to say.

"i know, right?" his smile never falters, only growing more as he looks down at you.

it's quiet for a moment, you two swaying back and forth, your head against his chest as he rests his chin right on top of it.

you're not sure if it gets better than this. how it gets better than this, if that.

"i'm glad garcia convinced you to come. maybe because she knew i'd be here." you hum.

"she didn't really convince me. she just... told me you were coming to one for once." he admits, and that makes your heart flutter.

"i don't miss them that much." you lie.

"in your four years at the bau with us, you've come to a total of three. once a year." he say it likes it's a joke, but it's true.

"hey. it's four, now. and if you promise to go to the christmas one, i'll make it five." you reach down to take his hands in yours, squeezing them.

it's true you never really came to these things. you loved the team. of course you did. you were on good terms with all of them. you just didn't trust yourself with alcohol and being in the same room as spencer at the same time. you'd never tell anyone as much, though.

"good. rossi's backyard is prettier in the snow." he replies.

"slow dancing with girls in rossi's backyard a common occurrence, then?" you tease once more, but he takes it at face value.

"me? of course not. i'd never. seriously. just you." his hands squeeze yours once again before moving back to your waist.

"just me." you echo his words. it felt good.

it gets quiet again, and you two are back to the comfort of swaying in one anothers arms. as if there weren't thousands of words left unspoken between the two of you.

what coworkers turned friends slow dance together like this? say things so sickeningly sweet? not ones that were actually just that. coworkers. friends.

it would be laughable, even. because it's not like you haven't seen jj peeking out the window and smile at the sight of you two, or rossi deciding to open the window so you could hear the music to begin with. he wasn't slick, that's for sure.

you weren't one to talk, and neither was spencer.

"what are you thinking about?" he asks, picking up on your silence that goes on longer than you usually let it.

"nothing and everything."

"you can't actually think about nothing. it involves concepts and ideas just to be thinking at all, which is nearly unstoppable unless you're actively stopping it. like if you're meditating right now. and i have a feeling you aren't doing that." he rambles, giving a smartass reply you didn't need, but always appreciated because you'd get to feel his chest lowly hum and hear his voice all at once.

but that's besides the point.

"then everything." you reply, half expecting him to launch the conversation into why that's not humanly possible.

instead, you're caught off guard when you hear, "in a bad way or good way?"

"more good than bad." your hands run over his hair for a moment. curly and oddly soft. he did try a little harder tonight.

"well that's more good than bad." he pauses and continues, voice less... sure, if that was even the right word, "what about, though?"

should you say the truth or lie? because nothing at all would be a lie. but you don't wanna bring up the inevitable when you two are so cozy already.

"us, i guess." you give in. please don't ask further, please don't make this a thing—

"...what about us exactly?" he asks further. makes it a thing. you'd make a comment about mind reading but aren't sure if it'd be appropriate.

"i mean... y'know. we both know. don't we? just... us." you gesture to you two again, before seeing his expression and sighing, "what we are..."

"what we are? as in our relationship status?" he asks, nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, "i didn't know it's been on your mind."

it's quiet for a moment, because you both know his question is rhetorical despite it coming out seriously. you both know what you said.

you don't know why this topic holds so much negative weight right now when you could be approaching it with so much more positively. but you're just worrying about one thing: if he's still with the mindset that maeve was the only one for him.

he wasn't the type to play with a girl's feelings, though. you trusted him. it's come with liking him.

"you're overthinking again. i can tell." he brushed a hair through your hair, pulling your head back to his chest.

"you know this stuff isn't easy for me." he adds a little quieter. "at all."

"i know." and you almost say you're sorry for even letting it get this far into the conversation, but you don't.

he rocks you back and forth, cupping your head in his hand. in this position your ears right next to his heart and you can hear how it beats faster when you wrap your arms back around his waist.

"i'll always miss her. but i... i was talking to garcia a few days ago. she reminded me that i shouldn't give up just because of what happened. it's almost like she knew exactly what was going on in my head and it was kinda terrifying to hear but also it helped more than i'd like to admit." he explains.

it was always penelope. the angel of the office.

"with that being said," he adds, unexpectedly, not giving you time to process his previous words completely, "i think she knows how much i actually like you and i never even told her."

oops. guilty as charged—add that to the list of things you'd tell him only after you two were a thing. and not that secret third thing.

"maybe we're not as discreet as we think we are." you smile at the thought.

just as the words leave your mouth, you hear the window open a little more, seeing emily smiling with that i just got caught look before looking back at jj and returning to her with a laugh. talk about comedic timing.

"i like you a lot too, though. it's why i think about us a lot." you add yourself.

"it's just... hard after everything. what if i'm just a string of bad luck? what if something happens to you because of me?" he can't help but start up as he does with certain topics.

"i work in the bau myself, spence. you aren't any more of a threat to me than my daily job itself." you'd tease softly.

the third, but technically only second person he'd let call him that without him cringing.

"i can't argue with that." he admits, nodding, "but you know what i'm talking about. i mean..." he trails off.

"everyone i love has been taken away from me." he says. "i don't exactly have a good track record."

you feel like he's making this out to be he's protecting you when really he's just protecting himself. which makes more sense, now that you think about it like that.

but you also don't really know what to say to that. i won't let that happen. but the both of you know it's a promise you can't guarantee you'll keep.

"say something. anything." he whispers, voice filled with an unfamiliar feeling. anxiety, maybe?

"...i won't let it happen to you again." you mumble against his chest, feeling the way his breath catches in his throat before letting out a shaky exhale.

"you don't know that." he tenses up once more.

"i don't. but i'll try." your grip tightens in his blazer.

"god, how do i say no to you? i can't. the words don't come out." he sighs, almost frustrated. you think it's directed at himself, if anyone, though.

"sometimes i feel like you're nothing but an angel sent down by maeve herself. she'd love you, you know that?" he says and you feel your eyes burn.

"i wish she could've met you." he mumbles, kissing the top of your head, "i wish you could've met a less damaged me. i wish a lot of things, even if the probability of even one, if not all, happening is quite literally 0%." he rambles.

"you're in your head again, spence. too in your head." you point out. he laughs.

"i feel like i always am." he says, a little quieter.

"i don't think you're... damaged." you say, stroking his curly hair again, "you're just hurt. hurting. that's different, to me. that's what i think at least. it's not like you're not getting better."

"too good for me..." he shakes his head, but less defensive this time.

"just think about it, okay?" you say. you remember neither of you explicitly said what it was you were talking about. making it official. but it was implied, right?

"i will. we should get inside." he hums, "don't want you getting any colder in that outfit."

it slips out when you don't intend it to and your heart drops.

"will you be my boyfriend?"

he's quiet, and when you try and pull away to look at him, he holds your head to his chest with one hand. firm but gentle. three words that sum him up perfectly.

"...are you sure?" he first asks, pulling away to look right down into your eyes, hands on either side of your face.

you double down, "of course i am. very sure."

he's just looking down at you now, silently, but you know it's not so silent in that head of his right now. you let him stay in his head for a moment.

"...i still think you're too good for me. but..." he trails off, "yeah. i—just, yeah. i'd really like that."

your lips quirk up into a smile at that, arms still wrapped around his shoulders as they tighten ever so slightly, and you notice how he starts to smile too just from yours.

you see him nervously take his lower lip between his teeth before speaking up.

"can i, er, kiss you?" he asks, studying your face for a moment before his eyes flit up to your own.

you're caught off guard, but give a small yet eager nod, feeling his hands run down to cup your cheeks.

once he has your approval, he's leaning down in the blink of an eye, leaving a small kiss to your lips. this one's gentle, testing the waters.

he takes a brief moment to grasp your reaction, and when he sees it, he leans back down to press a longer kiss to your lips—mouth on yours, tongue running over your lips after you ease into it.

it lasts a bit, his hands on your face before one slips down to your waist and the other to tuck your hair out of your face before resting it on the side of your neck delicately, as if you were glass threatening to shatter.

you two finally pull away, breathing in a series of short gasps and sighs as you feel him press his forehead to yours.

"i hope you know you're gonna be the death of me." he breathes out, caressing the side of your face.

that makes you grin and bring him into another kiss, pulling him down against you.

[sparklemaia]

Heyyy!!

So I've recently read a lot of your comics about top surgery, and I really resonate with your experience (I haven't had it myself but I'd like to). I've recently been exploring my own gender and realising I might be non binary, but I guess I feel sort of an imposter in that I want to keep my name and pronouns (afab), despite feeling like I never got the memo about what a "woman" is, which I know is fine, but I guess I was wondering how the shift from your agab into realising you were nb felt?

Like, you seem to describe your gender as sort of unknowable and indefinable, and I guess that's sort of how I feel? I just want to be... More me. I guess what I'm really asking is, how would you define/feel about that shift into realising you were nonbinary, do you still feel connected to your agab, how do you reconcile the two?

Sorry for the long ask!

Hi, this is such a good question! I actually DO still feel pretty connected to my agab. I feel like I am a girl but also more than a girl but also not enough of a girl, simultaneously. (Weirdly, I never ever feel like a woman, and definitely not a man, but I do feel like an adult at least some of the time.) Top surgery was 100% the right decision for me; my body feels so much more correct and I am grateful every single day this procedure was accessible to me. (I was on a low dose of T for a year and a half too, and I basically just got biceps and a sliiiightly lower voice out of it. We stan.) I simply don't have strong feelings about how these things do or do not map onto gender identity or other people's perceptions of my gender. I am generally perceived as female, and that's fine! Like, close enough! I often feel somewhere BETWEEN cis and trans, or even between cis and nonbinary, and sometimes I joke that I'm just "nonbinary for insurance purposes." I mostly use she/her pronouns, although won't object to they/them. I like my "feminine" name -- I chose it myself years ago for reasons unrelated to gender and I have no plans to change it again. In terms of gender presentation I'm usually somewhere in the "tomboy femme" zone. Basically, I've been through a medical transition but not a social transition. Which is not very common, or at least I haven't seen much representation of it! (Be the bad trans representation you want to see in the world, i guess??)

Even though the words are often used interchangeably, I feel more alliance to genderqueer as a label than nonbinary, because nonbinary feels too clinical and "third checkbox"y to me, whereas genderqueer feels more expansive and undefinable and dynamic, with space for the ways in which I both am and am not performing girlhood correctly. When pressed to pick a gender word for myself, that one feels the closest. But if I'm filling out a government form or whatever? Yeah sure F is fine.

A lot of where I land with this stuff, though, is just kind of relaxing my grip on language. Top surgery was a relief, it helped me feel present in and connected to my body. Ultimately it doesn't matter much to me how much of that was *gender* dysphoria and how much of it was just... something I wanted, a way to make my body feel more like mine, to align my mental image of myself with the thing I had to stuff into clothes and walk around the city every day. I believe very strongly in bodily autonomy, and in making our lives as easy and comfortable and joyful as we can for ourselves, without needing to have a clean and tidy explanation for our choices. It is very possible to know with reasonable certainty that you want something, that it will be a net positive for your life, without being able to articulate, even to yourself, WHY you want it. It doesn't need to have a bigger meaning than ahh yes, this feels right. At this point in my life, I'm more invested in marveling at the sheer improbability of my own existence than in wedging myself into the taxonomy of known and acceptable gender narratives. I'm just a person, here for the merest twinkle of a moment in cosmic history, making soup and knitting baby hats and admiring bugs and singing off-key and cutting my own hair and doing my gosh darn best to light my tiny patch of night sky with stories so that you (and you, and you) feel less alone on your own journey through the unfurling dark. Gender is just such an inconsequential detail in the narrative of my life, and pretty open to reader interpretation anyway.

Not having to wear bras is pretty great though ngl

[30somethingautisticteacher]

The Dry Spell

It's fairly common knowledge that first responders work long shifts together, often 24 or 48 hours at a time. This kind of togetherness builds strong bonds and makes it nearly impossible to keep secrets. Which was why the entire station seemed to know that Buck and Tommy were in a bit of a dry spell right now.

Buck was in the locker room, changing after a particularly grueling shift. He didn't mean to start venting, but Hen had asked how things were going at home, and before he knew it, he was spilling his guts.

"I mean, it's been over 3 weeks," Buck said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "And yes, partially it's been us having opposite schedules, but it hasn't only been that. It's just...3 weeks. I'm starting to go crazy."

Hen nodded sympathetically, leaning against the lockers. "That's rough, Buckaroo. Have you talked to Tommy about it?"

Buck sighed, closing his locker with perhaps a bit more force than necessary. "I've tried, but every time I bring it up, something comes up. A call, Emmett needs something, one of us is too tired... It's like the universe is conspiring against us."

He lowered his voice, glancing around to make sure no one else was within earshot. "And the worst part? I'm turned on like, all the time now. It's getting ridiculous. Yesterday, I got distracted during dinner because Tommy reached across the table for the salt. The salt, Hen!"

Hen tried to suppress a smile, but failed. "Oh, Buck. You've got it bad."

"I know," Buck groaned. "It's like I'm a teenager again. I can't focus. Every little thing Tommy does is suddenly the hottest thing I've ever seen. This morning, he was just getting ready for his shift, putting on his flight suit, and I nearly lost it."

"Maybe you two need to schedule some alone time," Chimney chimed in as he walked into the locker room. "You know, make it a priority."

Buck flushed red. "Chim! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know you're about to combust," Chimney teased. "Seriously though, Buck. Talk to your husband. I'm sure he's feeling it too."

Buck nodded, trying to ignore the embarrassment creeping up his neck. "Yeah, you're right. I just... I miss him, you know? Not just the physical stuff, but the intimacy, the connection. Though right now, I wouldn't say no to the physical stuff either." Suddenly, a thought occurred to him and a sly grin spread across his face. "Wait a minute, Chim. Does this mean you're offering to babysit Emmett?"

Chimney's eyes widened as he realized the implication of his advice. "I, uh..."

Hen burst out laughing. "Oh, he's got you there, Chim! You can't give advice without being willing to back it up."

Chimney sighed dramatically, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Fine, fine. Maddie and I can take Emmett for a night. But I don't want to hear any details, got it?"

Buck's face lit up. "Chim, you're a lifesaver! I promise, no details. Just... thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," Chimney waved him off, but he was smiling. Just make it count, Buckaroo."

Buck's blush deepened, but he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Finally, a chance for some alone time with Tommy. Now he just had to make it through his shift without spontaneously combusting at the thought.

It took everything in Buck's power not to speed home. As soon as he walked through the door, he called out, "Tommy!"

"In the kitchen, babe," Tommy's voice replied.

Buck rushed into the kitchen, his eyes wild with excitement. "Pack Emmett a bag. We gotta go!"

Tommy turned from the stove, spatula in hand, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What? Slow down. What are you talking about?"

"Sex," Buck blurted out, his cheeks flushing. "Lots of sex. So much sex."

Tommy's eyebrows shot up, a bemused smile playing on his lips. "Interesting, but I'm still not sure I follow."

Buck took a deep breath, trying to calm himself enough to explain coherently. "Okay, so I may have been venting at work about our... dry spell. And Chimney offered to babysit Emmett for the night so we could have some alone time."

Understanding dawned on Tommy's face, followed quickly by a mischievous grin. "Oh, I see. And you're in such a hurry because...?"

"Because," Buck said, stepping closer to Tommy, his voice dropping low, "I've been going crazy thinking about you all day. Do you know how distracting you are? This morning, watching you put on your flight suit... I nearly lost it right there."

Tommy's eyes darkened with desire. "Is that so?" he murmured, setting down the spatula and wrapping his arms around Buck's waist.

"Mhmm," Buck hummed, leaning in for a kiss. "I've been imagining all the things I want to do to you once we're alone."

Just as their lips were about to meet, they heard the patter of little feet.

"Daddy! Papa!" Emmett's voice called out.

They broke apart, both chuckling but with heat still in their eyes. "I'll go pack his bag," Tommy said, pressing a quick kiss to Buck's cheek. "You go tell him he's having a sleepover with Aunt Maddie and Uncle Chim."

As Tommy headed upstairs, Buck called after him, "I'll text Maddie to pick him up. The sooner they get here..."

Tommy paused at the top of the stairs, throwing a smoldering look over his shoulder. "The sooner we can pick up where we left off."

Buck grinned, anticipation coursing through him. "Exactly."

As they separated to prepare for their evening, both men felt a surge of excitement. Buck quickly sent a text to Maddie, asking if they could pick Emmett up as soon as possible. Then he went to find their son, his mind already racing with thoughts of what the night would bring once they were alone.

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Buck opened it to find Maddie, Chimney, and Jee-Yun.

"Uncle Buck!" Jee exclaimed, hugging his legs.

"Hey there, munchkin," Buck said, ruffling her hair. "Thanks for coming so quickly, guys."

Chimney raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk on his face. "No problem. Wouldn't want to keep you waiting."

Buck felt his cheeks heat up, but before he could respond, Tommy appeared with Emmett and his overnight bag.

As they said their goodbyes to Emmett, promising to pick him up tomorrow afternoon, Buck and Tommy exchanged heated glances. The moment the door closed behind Maddie, Chimney, and the kids, Tommy turned to Buck, his eyes dark with desire.

"Now," Tommy said, his voice low and full of promise, "where were we?"

Buck lunged forward, capturing Tommy's lips in a searing kiss. Their bodies pressed together, and both men groaned at the contact, feeling the evidence of each other's arousal.

"Tommy," Buck gasped, breaking the kiss. "I need you. It's been too long."

Tommy's hands roamed Buck's back, pulling him even closer. "I know, baby. I've missed you too."

As they stumbled into their bedroom, Buck couldn't take his eyes off Tommy. The need to touch, to feel, to taste was overwhelming. Without breaking eye contact, Buck slowly sank to his knees in front of Tommy, his intentions clear.

Tommy's breath hitched, his eyes dark with desire. "Evan," he breathed, voice rough with want.

Buck's hands trembled as he reached for Tommy's belt. "Please," he murmured, "I need this. Need you."

Tommy cupped Buck's face gently, his touch a stark contrast to the urgency thrumming through both their bodies. "We've got all night, baby. Let's take our time, ok?"

Buck nodded, but didn't move from his position. The anticipation was electric, every nerve ending on fire. As Tommy's fingers carded through his hair, Buck leaned forward, ready to show his husband just how much he'd missed him.

They had hours ahead of them to reconnect, to relearn each other's bodies, to make up for lost time. And they intended to savor every moment.

[lizsos]

I'm Dangerous.

▪︎warning : dirty talk, multiple orgasms, blow job , no use of protection, praise , creamie pie, degradation, g!p , choking , violence,

▪︎Genre: smut

(Grammar mistakes)

Your heels clicked loudly on the stained prison tiles . The echo of your soft footsteps trailing the narrow walls of the enclosed hallway.

Bada

That was the prisoner you were assigned to . A women who had killed more people than you'd met in your life as a doctor , a psychologist at that . So you'd met a lot of people .

Two guards trailed closely behind you , glaring warningly as the inmates who smirked as you walked past the lines of cells . A collection of whistles and cheers sounding at the mere sight of a women as attractive as yourself .

How long it had been since they'd seen one after all .

"Hey Doc...you sure you wanna take this case.. I mean , I dont doubt ya or anything but this one.. she's bad. Dangerous ."

"Now what kind of doctor would I be if I feared a little danger. She's still a patient." You smiled, ignoring the way your hairs stood as you were led deeper into the institution. The part where they held those deemed a danger to society.

Those who had a no chance of even seeing the sunlight again .

You were nervous, your heart thumping loudly in your chest when you scanned your surroundings. There weren't any cells , there were only..rooms. Fully enclosed rooms with a singular window for passing food .

Every part of you begged for you to turn and run. To not even interact with whoever sat on the other side of that door. And you froze when bright brown eyes pierced into yours . The rest of her face casted behind a dark shadow as her head tilted back . Giving you a sight to the small smirk creeping onto her features .

"Doc, I really think that-" it was another guard who spoke up . Both of them holding nothing on their features but fear . It was clear that they never ever bothered Bada . The rumours had been enough to make every guard to turn a blind eye .

"Hey its fine. Okay? This is what I do." It really was . The guard gave you a curt nod and a sigh when you clasped both of his hands in your smaller one .

Offering him a reassuring nod .

"If anything happenes , us and five other are stationed close . Good luck Doc."

You gave him a small thanks , your head held high as the door was pulled open roughly. Revealing a black/white haired women who sat in her bed against the walls , her eyebrows raising when you dared to step inside . Nodding to the guard to close the door .

"You're scared." Her deep voice rung out , keeping her euw on you as you pulled out a small chair that was tucked away near the sink.

"And how do you know, Bada?" Your tone was steady , letting out a breath when the shakiness you felt wasn't reflected in your voice .

Bada hummed, her smirks widening when you spoke to her like a normal being . To stuttering, no harshness . Just your sweet voice saying her name . "I can sense it , Doc." She loved the way you tried to hide your squirm under her gaze .

"So, Bada. Tell me something about yourself." You steered away from her accusations, holding eye contact even when she leaned forward . Taking you in from head to toe . You were hot , she liked that. You seemed to like being confident too. And God did you smell fucking delicious.

She wanted to eat you alive .

Break you .

Use you .

She really did . But you were so fascinating , and she'd only just met you . Who knew how intertaining you could be .

"I've killed people" she was blunt , eyes almost begging you to keep asking these ridiculous questions. It was making her cock twitch .

"Well Bada , that is common knowledge, dont you think? I wanna know something else... tell me a secret hmm?" You leaned forward with a smile , elbows rested on your knees as you looked to her for a response.

She reciprocated your actions, leaning forward until you felt her hot breath fan over your face . "A secret huh? Alright Doc..." she watched as your breathing sped up , using every strength in your body to not pull back . You were brave , she liked that . " I surprisingly don't wanna kill you right now ."

"I'm glad to hear that."

" I said right now , didn't say anything about later " she pushed away from you , one of her knees up to her chest when she leaned back against the concrete wall behind her . "Let me ask you something , Doctor . Are you stupid?"

Your head tilted at where this was going . You supposed to be the one asking the questions. But the conversation was two sided , this would've made things easier. " I'd like to believe not . Why do you ask ?"

"Because you really think that if I try to kill you , some measly guards would come to your rescue." She scoffed

"But you don't want to kill me . Thats all that matters."

Fair .

Bada watched as you took a quick peek down at hee files . There was something that you missed , that much was evident. "Finally found it huh?"

"I haven't found anything taht I didn't see before." You objected , glancing to the door with your lip hanging loosely between your teeth .

"Dont. Dont do that." She demanded lowly, watching with lidded eyes as you let your plump bottom lip, slick after running your tongue over it , fall back into place. Bada breathed deeply, finally looking away from you as she swallowed hard . Closing her eyes with her head rested behind her .

There was something about you that she wanted a taste of . It was driving her crazy...er" I never did anything to these doctors. They were just weak. Got scared way to fast."

"And what did you do scare them away?"

"Nothing" she spat, "they came in here acting all high and mighty, talked to me like I was beneath them. So I simply didn't bother hiding how much I wanted to strangle them . And somehow that makes me the bad guy right Doc?"

You shook your head, " No , you have a right to respect too. They should never have treated you as unequals." Lying was all was in the job description.

"Good try Doc. But you and I know thats a loud of crap," she finally peeled over her eyes back open , and you couldn't help you mind from wandering to how attractive she was in the dim light . She was for sure built, and the facial structure that made you clench your thighs. "Now , we gonna finish our game of twenty one questions or not?"

She was actually being cooperative.

"Yes we are , how about i start ?."

"I'll start." There was no room for obligation in her tone ." Whats your name?"

You contemplated whether to tell her or not , eventually you told her. Though you missed her small smile tugging at her lips when she muttered a small "cute" .

"My turn , what was your childhood like?" You watched her face grow cold , a small glare being dirctated at anything in the room but you . "Next question"

"Bada..."

"I said next question , how old are you?"

You sighed, "I'm twenty six." Her eyes widened, that was extremely young for a doctor . "Is there one good memory you have from before you killed for the first time?"

"I had twin kittens. Do you have a boyfriend?"

You were taken back by the question, mouth opening and closing a few times before you chuckled. "No . I don't have a boyfriend."

"Good"

You jumped back when the door yanked open , the guard eyeing Bada warily before nodding to you . "Your times up, Doc."

"Oh already? Could you give me a few more minutes?"

"You know how dangerous she is Doc.... we can't risk it."

"You heard the man I'm dangerous, Doctor."

You nibbled at your kips softly , and Bada fought a groan as you did exactly what she warned you not to. Standing up , you gave Bada a warm smile, the gesture making her stomach get all weird inside . "Goodbye until our next session Bada."

She only hummed , the door being shut behind you as you were led away.

It was back to darkness.

"That was more than enough light , sure. But it suddenly felt so empty without you there .

_

You couldn't get Bada off your mind when you arrived home . A part of you just really wanted figure her out . The other actually liked her company.

You must've been so sick in the head . Splashing your face with cold water as you mentally scolded yourself. What was wrong with you ? She was a criminal .

_

The next morning you walked the path that you had taken the previous day to the to Bada . This time without the guards following you .

There was only one who stood outside of the door to let you in with a small node in acknowledgement.

Badas head perked up to the fimliar clicking of those heels you wore . Her signature smirk on her face as she stared you down. "Just couldn't get enough huh Doc? Aren't you forgetting I'm dangerous?"

You took a seat , no file in hand this time . "Good morning Bada , how are you ?" " if I said better now that you're here , would that be clichè?"

You laughed, an actual laugh. A sweet one that made her heart flutter the tiniest bit while blood rushed her groin .

"Its very good to see you too. How about we get started yeah?" You paused as you collected your thoughts . "You seem to be heavily affected by people calling you... dangerous. Why?"

"Everybody is dangerous. It just takes pushing at the right buttons to get it out of them. Half of the people have done just as bad as I have yet I'm the only dangerous one . Makes so much sense right?"

She shook her head. " tell me doctor , do you really think I just happened to get caught ? That I couldn't get out if this damn place if I wanted too? Hell, tell me you reliaze that I could drop a good twenty more bodies right here , right now."

You shifted in your seat . " I think that you let yourself get caught because you're tired . Because there's a small sense of peace you get from being in here . And I think that you aren't trying to leave because you don't want to."

"You almost had it Doc. See, I was well on my way out until you came . So I might stick around for a just a little bit longer."

You heart fluttered , for you? Giving up on fighting the rational side of you as you continued to engage in a conversation. Getting Bada to slowly open up to you more .

"Do you have any friends Bada?"

"I don't consider people friends , they just exist alongside me."

"If I asked you to be your friend , what would you say?" It was routine, but you really were curious.

"I'd say you can be whatever you want to be Doc."

Another flutter

"Have you ever been inlove Bada?"

She was silent , jaw clenching as her gaze got harsh . "Next question."

"What was were they like?"

"I said next fucking question doctor ."

"And I said what was were they like? " you leaned forward , pressing for her to answer the question.

"You're stubborn aren't you? I wonder what my hand would look like around that pretty neck of yours. "She was a lot like you."

You were taken back Bada said 'she' so she dated a girl?

"What happened to her?" You knew how touchy that question would've been.

"Nothing. That bitch left"

Oh.

"I'm sorry"

She started at you in confusion, "I never said she died."

"Yes. But thats only physically. Whe she broke your hear she died to you. And that hurts just as bad ."

She was silent, studying your eyes . Trying to get a read on you. "What else do you want to know Doc?"

You were getting somewhere.

Bada found you smart . Thought that you knew a lot . Found it hot how good you were at cracking her . But it pissed her off that the one thing you didn't seem to pick up was how much it hurt to watch you leave at the end of each session.

_

A week later had led to a Monday morning where you hadn't gone to the prison. You had quite an agenda for the day that could cost you your job of you didn't get it done .

That was something Bada was obviously clueless about . It was why she thought you'd just decided to up and go after she had started liking to have you around. After she'd started opening up to you .

It was also why she was causing a fit. Yelling at the guards to get you to her. Now. That she wanted to see you . Needed to see you . A line of men laying knocked out atop of each other from being sent to 'handle' the carzed prisoner .

Would you really not come back? Would you really abandon her? It seemed like that was common with people she craved even the slightest for.

Bada's fist met the wall near her bed, knuckles bloodied as she cracked into the hard surface. Chest heaving up and down heavily when her hands reached to tug at strands of her hair .

She blinked when she heard the clicking of heels of the tiles. Immediately scowling at the unfamiliarity of them . "Who the fuck is this?".

"This is Dr.smith , she's-"

"I don't fucking care who she is . Bring me my doctor now."

Back at your flat , you dropped the piles of paper in front of you at the sound of your phone ringing .

It was a number you didn't have saved .

"Hello, Doctor y/n speaking- yes? Oh my. I-i am so sorry . Yes , I will be there right away."

What had you done?

You practically ran through the halls after parking outside the building . Finding many guards posted outside her door with guns in had . Some of them having black eyes .

"You all can go now." You panted , it was clear that you had been in a hurry. "Please."

They all shared a look , finally walking away and allowing you to slowly open the door.

"Where were you?"

"I'm really sorry Bada . I was so busy today and-" you gasped when a hand reached out to wrap around your neck . Slamming you into the wall behind you with her face buried in your neck .

Bada inhaled your floral scent , groaning to herself as her grip on your delicate skin tightened. "So you just left me here today? Am I not as important as your 9ther little patients? Is that it hm?"

Deep down , you had hurt her feelings , and she couldn't help the way she clung to you as your hand lifted to her cheek . Turning her face to look down at yours .

"N-no I promise you . You're just as important as anyone else . I would have never missed our session if I didn't have to"

"Make it up to me"

It was the perfect opportunity

"W-what?"

"Strip for me doctor." She let go of your neck , letting you catch your breath while looking at her timidly.

"Bada....."

"Why so shy doctor? We both know you want to"

You shook your head , shrinking under her gaze with a protesting whisper. " I don't know what you're talking about Bada. This is very unprofession- ahh."

Bada brought her knee up between your thighs , pressing it into your clothed clit , her lips ghosted over your ear , hit breath fanning your skin as she breathed deeply. "You can always leave if you want to. I'm used to that after all."

You shifted on your feet when your back arched. A small whime leaving your mouth when she pulled away from you and gestured to the door .

She smirked "blouse first."

You bit your lip , unbuttoning your shirt until your bra was on display. The heavy swell of your breasts causing Bada's mouth to water when she nodded to the bra.

With your eyes still on her you let your breasts spring out of their confinement. Two pert nipples pointing right at her as her dick rose. Her hand palming herself under the pair of black pants with a shiver. "C'mere"

You walked over to her on shaky legs , sitting down on her lap with your head to the floor . "Uh uh," her hand reached under your chin to force your eyes back on her . "None of this Doc"

You moaned when her tongue swirled around one of your nipples . Sucking your breast into her mouth while she palmed at the other . "These are even more perfect outside that fucking shit of yours" .

Bada watched as you shivered when she ran her finger down your belly . Cupping your clothed cunt with the jerk of her hips into your ass . "Fuck...take that off."

You hurriedly took your pants off, Bada's pupils dilating at the sight of your lace panties . "Wore this just for me hmm doc? All this for Ms. Dangerous."

Bada didn't give you a chance to respond before flipping you into the mattress they called a bed . Lifting you heel clad feet onto her shoulders with her head hovering over your pussy . Her tongue darting out to lick at the wet spot building from arousal. "You're real dirty for me doctor" she teased , glancing behind her with a chuckle. "Imagine if you get caugh."

Your eyes shot up to the small window , taking note of that vacant corridor as you per requested.

"God , you smell so fucking good.wanna devour that pretty pussy." She breathed , large hand ripping the flimsy fabric to expose your glistening folds . "Hmm so wet all for me" .

You mewled when her long tongue licked a stripe of your slit. Swirling around your clit before sloppily dipping into your hole . Her hums sending vibrations through your clit as she lapped at your dripping slick.

"Bada-" you mewled, back arching as you reached for her hair. Tugging softly with the curl of your toes when her tongue and fingers swapped places. The two joints fucking up roughly into you g-spot as she sucked noisily at your clit . "F-fuck,nngh- so good" you cried out, tears welling in the corner of your eyes as your body filled with pleasure .

"Yeah? You like that Doc? Bet you wanna get that greedy cunt stuffed right after." She grunted, your eyes rolling back in a string of muffled moans as your other hand shot up to your lips .

You oegs began to tremble, Bada's smirk growing wider and wider until she stopped her movements. Watching as you blinked at her with a sniffled whine.

"You left me . You know how much that fucking hurtb? I thought i would never see you again."

"Im-"

"You're sorry. Yeah, yeah... I know." She rolled her eyes , crawling over your body with a sigh . Using the pad of her thumb to wipe away a stray tear before pressing her lips to yours . Making you taste yourself on her tongue.

You fell deeper into the kiss , eyes closing in satisfaction as her lips moves hungrily on yours . Pulling away with a string of salvia concerns you to her .

"Let's reverse the roles yeah?" She whispered, standing up to sit in the chair that you usually sat in. "So my adorable little patient.. put these tiny fingers to work on that clit of yours . I want you to make yourself cum."

You whimpered , your fingers immediately meeting your sensitive clit with a small shiver .

"You know what to do." She encouraged. Your fingers beginning to rub small circles on the small bud before speeding up . Little gasps and moans falling past your lips as your stomach burned with heat.

Your eyes locking onto Bada's eyes as her head tilted. Just like it had the first day you met her . "Ahh, B-bada . Fuckk." You cried, head falling back with your eyes still on her . The primal look in her eyes making your insides flutter as she did nothing but watch you . Not even freeing her painfully hard cock .

"Bada- c-cant. Can't hold it." Your voice cracked, body shaking lightly as your organ washed over you .

"Yes you can"

"Nngh , cant bada . Need to let go."

She stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity , your breathing getting heavy as you desperately waited on her permission.

She leaned her head back , eyes boring into your fingers working your wet cunt before nodding . "Go ahead."

You came with a silent moan , body spasming uncontrollably as your pussy leaked onto her only of sheets.

"Dirty, dirty girl . Look at that mess." You shied away from her gaze . "And look at how hard you made me . Come fix it."

You stood on wobbly feet , barely able to balance in your heels as you fell on your knees before her. Looking at her through your lashes while pulling down her pants .

You blinked at the mere size of her bulye . She was huge. Tugging off her underwear to reveal her thick, being length. Pointing up to the sky with a fiery red tip. "Suck"

You took her past your lips , barley able to take even half of her before she hit the back of your throat . Your fist stroking all the parts of her you couldn't take .

Bada groaned , head flinging back with another strained moan at how good your mouth felt . "S-shit doc. You really got a mouth on ya." She gasped , eyes meeting yours as you attempted to take her down your throat . Your droll coating both your lips and her cock as you lewdly sucked her off.

She took your head into her hold , letting you do your own thing as she grunted with each jerk of her hips. Defined abs tensing when she grew closer to her release.

"Fuck doc, gon' shoot my cum down that tight throat of yours." She breathed. Holding you down onto her as you gagged and sputtered lightly, Bada's cock twitching before you felt the warm liquid run down your throat.

"Wish I could fuck that pussy so bad" she let go of your head , wiping a strip of her chm from your chin before pushing her fi her past your lips. Watching as you sighed in content while sucking every last drop. "Its so bad that in about one minute those guards are gonna come and get you Doc. Our session is over."

You had no time to question how she knew . Scurrying redress with widened eyes.

Bada may not had q clock . Nor was able to distinctly see the sun rise and set . But she'd learned to count seconds when you were around . She knew how much time she had with you .

"And... now."

At that very moment the door swung open. Bada having easily pulled back up her pants after giving you your seat back . Both of you oozing as professional as you possibly could.

"See you tomorrow Doc." She smiled innocently , watching as you scrambled out while avoiding her eyes.

You really fucked up now.

It was hard to keep her out of your mind before . But now , trying was futile . You'd gotten a taste and you needed . Which was why your brain would not let you close your eyes without thinking of her fucking you.

_

The next morning you bit back a whimper as you clit was caught between your rubbing thighs. You had worn a tight pencil skirt with no panties . Just for Bada .

You were thankful that the guards had compiled to your wishes of them leaving.

You wanted to stop yourself. To goback home and forget about the woman infornt of you . She may not have been dangerous to you physically. But to your heart and mind .... she'd be the death of you .

When the door closed behind you , you found yourself being pushed roughly into o the same wall as last time. Bada letting out a groan as she captured your lips on her. Kissing you so much more feverishly than yesterday.

"You dont know how much i need you . Didn't even sleep last night. " she panted, turning you around so that your chest rested against the concrete surface. "Missed you so much doc." Her voice softened, kissing down your neck while grinding up into you . Her fingers finding their way under your skirt with a smirk against your skin. " and I thought you couldn't get any dirtier.. no panties huh?"

You moaned whe she prodded at your already dripping cunt. The thought of her being enough to have gotten you soaked. "Shit- tell me what you want Doc. Let me hear you say it. " she growled lowly, ready to snap the second the word left your mouth.

"Please- please fuck me."

Bada hungrily shoved your skirt up . The fabric bunching at your his as she freed her aching cock both of you letting out a noise of satisfaction when she sunk into you, her large hands holding tightly onto your hips to pull you into her . Your back arching as your hands shot put to the wall for support .

"O-ohh God." You cried loudly, your lips parted in a shaky moan as Bada's cock rammed deeper near the entrance of your cervix. Her veins grazing at your g-spot as the fat grits stretched you to your limit .

"Nah baby, 's only me."

"Badaa- so good- ahhh." Tears pooled in your eyes, Bada's heamd reached into your hair to pull you back to her chest. Your nails clawing at the wall on front of you as she destroyed yours .

"Taking me so fucking well. Shit- pussy's so dam snug." She husked , hips snapping noisily I to yours as she funked I to yoirwalls mercilessly. Basking in the sounds of your choked screams mewls. The way you sobbed underneath her when your knees buckled.

She was fucking you so hard and deep. Better tha anything you'd felt before. Her cokc slamming into all the places that would drive you crazy .

"The day you fucking leave i will break outta here doc. And I will find you. You're mine got it?" There was a certain seriousness in her voice that made goosebumps arise on your skin. Your slate tears mixing with your drool as they ran down your flushed face .

"And when I do get outta here youre gonna have my baby doc. 'M for a fuck you again and again till I eventually give you my fuck-ing kid." Her breathing beca,e ragged . Your body rocking forward with each of her movements.

She smirked. "I've already fucked ya this dumb?" Her cock twitching inside you as your body moved with her cock like flashlight. Your vision blurred as your head grew light, dizzy. You couldn't think , every rolls of Bada's hips clouding your mind as you let an incoherent babble drip off your tongue. Shakily chanting you her name when she reached forward to your clit .

"Look at you . Look so pretty underneath ,e like this." Her free ha d snaked upto your neck, groaning loudly at the feeling of your heart beat on her skin. Pulling you up so your back rested flat against her chest , wandering lips meeting your exposed collarbone . "Let go for me"

Your body quivered as you tightened around her . Letting out a whi per like cry as you came messily on her cock. A breathy moan of her own sounding in your ear when her thrusts began to get sloppy .

"Badaaaa.. inside. Want you inside . I'm in pill." You begged , legs giving away ah she held you flush against her.

"Whatever you want doc," slowly coming to a halt as she buried herself i side your warmth , tonguedarting out to lick at your tear strained cheeks. Feeling her cock, swell as she pumped you full of her cu, . Painted your gummy walls in nothing but white .

"Looks like I'm sending you back withnmy cum dripping down your thighs." She pulled out with a groan. Her cym leaking out of your fluttering cunt in a small spurts whe she used her hands at ten flesh of your ass . "Hottest thing I've seen in a while ... After you of course."

You hummed m eyes shutting as you fell i to her . Feeling the thick substance slowly dripping down your legs while spreading over sticky folds. Bada stumbled back onto her bed with you on top of her . Your face nestling into her chest with a soft smile . "Heydoc... I love you but those guards are gonna be back soon."

"So worth it. Was the one thought branding itself into your mind as your body registered the rough, last filled fuck.

"Shit"

_

You and bada had gotten so much closer over yet another week . You had never believed in falling in love that quickly until now. You couldn't help it. You felt so ,ugh better when she was around . Seeing g her was the highlight of your day especially now that you'd convinced for longer sessions.

She felt the small ebay. You were the second person she had fallen in love with and somehow even harder . You made her heart... swell . And she was serious about busting out to start a life with you.

"So your first love. We never ever finished talking about her." You smirked, notepad back in hand as you did your job. Bada have been stealing small kisses from between every question.

"How about we forget about my first love and focus on my current one . You"

[mesetacadre]

apologies if this isn't really your area of interest, but how would you describe the relationship between fascism and (anti-) imperialism? (asking because my far-right father just watched a video about Kamala Harris right next to me which had very similar points to what I've seen on Tumblr; specifically how liberals/democrats will even ally with their "enemies" if it means they can keep the war machine going)

One way to understand fascism that's very common in the imperial periphery has been to conceptualize it as colonialism/imperialism turned inwards, it ramps up exploitation by any means necessary. This does two things, it curbs worker organization by exerting more violence, and it increases capitalist profits. This last thing is also related to the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, since fascists in power tend to be destructive towards capital, especially to human capital, and the rate of profit can only be increased considerably through the destruction of capital. As for the more specific aspects of fascism in power; forced labor, concentration camps, the trampling of any kind of liberties, mass political repression, etc. were already established in the colonized world well before any fascist you can think of was even born.

Take a look at this map:

This is a propaganda piece [the title says "Portugal is not a small country"] from 1934 during Portugal's Salazar dictatorship, one of the forgotten fascist states of Europe during this time, along with Austria and Spain. When fascists do have colonies and would be considered an empire, they do not really differ from non-fascist imperialism. This integralist notion shown by the poster really isn't that far from the integration attempted by France on Algeria, and Italy had similar rhetoric when it came to Libya and East Africa. What I mean to say is that fascists do not have that special a relationship when it comes to "normal" imperialism (apart from that internal imperialism I mentioned), and it therefore does not have that special a relationship with anti-imperialism. Nazi-fascists did not inherit any colonies from the Weimar Republic, but their ambitions in the east (look up generalplan-ost) and for the Balkans were also extremely similar to most colonial projects you can find for Africa and Asia in the 19th and early 20th century.

Fascism is an imperialist ideology, not because of any inherent quality, but because it is the most destructive and exploitative elements of liberal democracy emphasized and expanded. It was, after all, birthed by the moribund corpse of European imperialism, as it entered a general crisis that spelled its end (in the form imperialism took at this time, of course imperialism mutated and transformed to a system that doesn't require a direct administrative control of colonies), and this crisis was only delayed by WW2.

Fascists nowadays protect imperialism insofar as they protect capitalism. Fascists are only really enemies with liberalism when it comes to parliamentarism and its socially progressive elements, but we can't forget that any liberal party, whether it's republican or democrat or third party, ultimately only serves to manage capitalism in the country they administer. I'm not really sure what's the point that that video was making, but I don't think it's this. Fascists are not the enemies of a capitalist state, imperialist or otherwise, they're the most extreme, violent and repressive expression of what's already present in liberal democracy. If usamerican fascists take the position of a "great america" and support the continuation of its interference worldwide, and the democrats or republicans also do, this is a case of fascism reflecting liberalism, not the other way around. Fascism is not an evil entity one candidate chooses to ally with or not. It always represent the most extreme needs of capital, and in every case that it has taken power, it has happened once those necessities were widespread enough and they recieved ample support from those capitalists.

[fandomonetwo]

puppy love and flowers — remus lupin

▸summary: he's absolutely sure he loves you. he's absolutely sure you love him. flowers aren't given to just anybody.

▸characters: remus lupin x f! reader, lil snippets of james and sirius and peter

▸tw: hay fever, small sadness moment

▸a/n: consider this my apology for the previous angst post. also, look at the guy. he's a smol bean

REMUS LUPIN WAS a sucker for a good bouquet. He'd always want to give them to you, yet he could never find the moment. There'd always be something that would stop him.

Today was one of the days where his plans were smudged.

It was a Hogsmeade day, so naturally, he with his posse decided to head into the town to scope out bouquets. There was one he'd seen little bit ago that he was fidgeting to buy. It was a beautiful set of red and white roses with baby's breath surrounding them. They were your favourite flowers.

Sirius Black had never felt so depressed than when he had watched his friends realise that the 'sold out' sign was for the bouquet he wanted to get for you. He felt so out of place when Remus looked like he had just been deprived of his natural resource of chocolate.

"Why not just get her different flowers?" the Black boy asked, awkwardness coating his very body in a tense feeling.

Remus sighed. "But those were for her. They were like, specifically crafted just so that she could have them. And now they're gone. And I still haven't gotten her flowers!"

James sympathised more with Remus that Sirius could. James often got flower for Lily from this very shop. Albeit, she always threw them out when she got them, but it was the thought that counted. Peter didn't say anything. He was too busy drawing stars in the snow.

The bespectacled boy put his hand on Remus' shoulder, noticing his friend's eyes welling with tears. "It's alright, mate. There's always tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day."

"But I wanted to get her those today."

There was something so frustrating about not getting something done on the day you planned. You'd feel so incomplete in your tasks, and he'd never get to sleep tonight. Well, he might drift off if he cried long enough.

The walk back to the dorms was long and awkward and tense and depressing. There were so many emotions. Remus has just been thwarted yet again in his attempts to woo you. Peter was plucking the snow off of his mittens one by one.

"Damn, mate, you are so in deep," Sirius teased, trying to lighten the mood. "I mean, I've heard of puppy love, but this just takes the cake."

"Is that supposed to be a pun?" Remus muttered. It was kinda funny.

"I suppose so."

They had only gotten to the dorm when they heard the girls. They were laughing. No, hang on. They were shrieking. And... sneezing?

The four boys entered the common room to find Lily and Marlene holding onto furniture for dear life, their faces as red as their ties. Marlene tried to heave in a breath and little was wiping her face.

And then you sneezed. They erupted into laughter again.

"What on earth is going on?" James asked, confusion filling his bloodstream. The girls couldn't find the words, too busy giggling, so you decided to speak.

"I bought flowers for Remus," you started, your nose stuffed, "and I have just found out that I am, in fact, deathly allergic to flowers."

You sneezed again. The girls didn't completely fall apart, but they still chuckled.

Remus looked at you with those big eyes of his. "You got me flowers?"

"Yeah," you said sheepishly. "I though it'd be a nice surprise, but now I'm covered in snot, my nose and throat hurts, my head kinda aches, and my eyes are red."

You sneezed, and Remus started laughing. He rested his head on your shoulder, despite your protests.

"How did you never realise you had a tendency to get hay fever?" Sirius asked, trying to stifle his own chuckles.

"I don't know. It doesn't get this bad at home. The flowers there are small, and here, I don't go out much in the spring. It's too warm. Plus, it's not like I get up close and personal with flowers now, do I?"

"Yeah, but still. It's hay fever, it's a pretty common thing."

"Like I said," you sneezed again, away from Remus' face, "there just wasn't enough for me to notice." You paused for a second. "I always wondered why I got the sniffles in the springtime. I thought it was just spring colds."

James grinned. "Well, now you know."

You sneezed twice more, Remus brushing the hair out of your sweaty face.

"I think we need to rescue you from your natural foe." He guided you by the hand outside of the common room, and he stole a glance back at the flowers you had bought for him, his heart swelling.

Red and white roses surrounded with baby's breath.

[madlori]

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

-------

I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

[specificallyjude]

social media au: fanboying

pairing: mason mount x driver!fem!reader

summary: a private, but not secret relationship being ruined by the one and only lando norris warnings: swearing. this is also a female reader fic so pls keep that in mind before reading. author note: please ignore any inconsistencies, this is all fake so don't take anything too seriously. I originally starting making this while mason was at chelsea, but then transfer season happened and I had to scrap everything and start over. also if you ever see me reuse any photos in future au's...no you didn't.

----------------⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆------------------

₊˚⊹♡ monaco gp 22 ♡⊹˚₊

y/n.username

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 1,453,778 others

y/n.username monaco you will always be iconic ⭐️

view all 34,950 comments

user i love the y/n and seb duo

user aaahhh everything about y/n in monaco is iconic

landonorris does monaco being iconic have anything to do with your good luck charm being in the paddock this weekend?

↳ user uuuhhh lando is there something you want to share with the class??

↳user do we think he's referring to a man

↳user he better not be, y/n is my wife

masonmount

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 789,345 others

masonmount first time in monaco. thank you @redbullracing

view all 34,234 comments

landonorris hey mate 👋

user what is lando doing here??

↳ user I'm pretty sure he's friends with mason

↳ user yeah there's pictures of them at the McLaren headquarters together

↳ user wow...this is such a random crossover

y/n.username posted a story

replies:

user omg did you meet any of the players???

user girl i thought you were a villa supporter. what is this betrayal??!!?

↳ y/n.username don't worry i'm here for business purposes only

user does there happen to be a good luck charm on the field??

₊˚⊹♡ [time jump] barcelona gp 23 ♡⊹˚₊

liked by y/n.username, maxverstappen1, and 785,234 others

masonmount always good luck in barcelona

view all 653,589 comments

redbullracing so glad to have ya this weekend 👏

↳ user mason's biggest flaw is being a red bull fan

user are we not gonna talk about y/n liking this post

↳ user relax she's allowed to like other people's posts

↳ user ikik but mason also used good luck in his caption, and lando did say she had a good luck charm in the paddock last year in monaco

↳ user they could just be friends you know

↳ user he's also friends with lando who is starting front row tomorrow so it could be about that

y/n.username

liked by masonmount, landonorris, and 945,252 others

y/n.username i was forced to spend the whole flight next to this idiot. please barcelona be good to me.

view all 264,305 comments

lando norris boo tomatoes...you literally wanted to fly together

↳ mason mount i mean she does have a point though

↳ y/n.username thank you 🙏 finally someone with common sense

user guys we got our first mason x y/n interaction...i'm calling it they're dating

↳ user ngl they would be cute together

↳ user them being lando's collective biggest hater is so silly

↳ user couples who hate together, stay together

user why do y'all ship y/n with everyone she talks too, i've had enough

↳ user i know, at this point people think she's dating half of the grid

↳ user it's gets so annoying I don't know how she handles it

f1 drama just posted

Aston Martin driver y/n y/l/n seen with a mystery man after 2023 Barcelona gp. They were seen entering and leaving a driver's after party together following race day. Who do you think this mystery man could be? Could it be a fellow driver or possibly her alleged good luck charm?

comments

user i'm telling y'all it's charles

↳ user nah nah nah it's definitely mick

↳ user you're all delusional

user i feel like he's not a driver, maybe a footballer?

user @f1drama you guys need to stop posting shit like this and let her date in peace. this is her private life.

↳ user fr respect her privacy

₊˚⊹♡ [time jump] 2023 summer break ♡⊹˚₊

mickshumacher posted a story

y/n.username

liked by masonmount, sebastianvettel, and 854,348 others

y/n.username a well deserved break 💐

view all 237,947 comments

sebastianvettel I hope you're having a nice summer holiday

↳ y/n.username awww i am, come back please, we miss you

↳ sebastianvettel we?

↳ y/n.username i*

↳ user seb really exposed her on main

landonorris nice flowers

↳ user what do you know that we don't ??

↳ user no because who the fuck is that... we MUST know

user y/n casually soft launching a relationship this really is silly season

user queen please tell us who that is and if he can fight

user I'd buy her an even bigger bouquet if she'd just give me a chance

lando.jpg posted a story

y/n.username

liked by masonmount, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,598,268 others

y/n.username my good luck charm 🌟 (@landonorris you better watch you're back)

view all 794,284 comments

landonorris everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days 🤷‍♂️

↳ landonorris I should not have to witness you two being gross and clingy by myself

↳user NOT THE HANNAH MONTANA LYRICS

↳user honestly landos story was a public service act

masonmount love you my flower 🤍💐

↳ masonmount but let's be real you don't need me as a good luck charm

↳ user stop he's cute and supportive and calls her flower. I need to lie down

↳ user is it a reference to the summer break post?

sebastianvettel congratulations you two from the whole family !!!

↳ y/n.username thank you 🤍

↳ user omg seb is such a dad

↳ user stop they're interactions are always so wholesome

charles_leclerc so this means no more googly eyes at each other across the paddock right?

↳ danielricciardo I don't think that's gonna happen mate

↳ user so basically everyone on the grid knew

↳ user the way they're all complaining about how in love y/n and mason are...my heart is hurting

masonmount

liked by y/n.username, benchilwell, and 1,734,027 others

masonmount my girlfriend is in fact hotter than you

view all 625,804 comments

y/n.username please delete immediately

↳ y/n.unsername I have never worn a man utd shirt. this is defamation. villa for life.

↳ masonmount you're too cute

↳ y/n.username hehe love you 💕

benchilwell so happy for you (please stop making out in front of me it's traumatising)

user can they let us live pls I can't handle all of these cute ass posts

↳ user some of us are too single for this

↳ user I need to go lie down on a highway

[disaster-theysbian]

Gotta say, I've been out as a lesbian for 3 years and nonbinary for a year and a half. And I've noticed something.

Just because someone *always* gets your name and pronous correct, and angrily calls out anyone who forgets, doesn't necessarily mean they support you.

Conversely, just because someone struggles to remember your name and pronouns, or can't wrap their head around gender neutral/neo pronouns at all, doesn't necessarily mean they DON'T support you.

This is applicable to any situation really not just queer shit. Watch what people do, not just what they say, and you will find your friends. Someone might shower you with compliments and have common interests with you, but what happens when you tell them no? Do they get angry when they are corrected? Do they have kind things to say about other people?

My colleagues wouldn't know a gender-neutral pronoun if one hit them in the face with a dictionary, but they make sure I've had a lunch break and get home safely. They have my back if I have a difficult patient. They defend me against other staff members who like to create drama and bitch about people as if they're still in the school playground. If someone has something to say about me being a big ol' queer, they make it known that discrimination has no place in our unit.

My best friend in the whole entire world forgets my name and pronouns every day. When the organisers of her therapy group changed "men and women" to "people" and "he/she" to "they" in order to be more inclusive, there was outcry. Everything from the "it just doesn't sound right" grammar-policing nonsense to the "f*cking special snowflakes are offended by everything". She came down on them like a ton of bricks. She said if the organisers hadn't told them that it was changing, that they wouldn't have noticed. She told them they obviously haven't loved someone outside of the gender binary and they were missing out. She then told them how she had seen me grow and develop since I came out, and how in awe she was of the person I had become. No, she doesn't understand it at all, but why should that mean that she can't be there for me and appreciate how happy I am to be able to be me? Why should that mean, because you lot don't understand it, that someone with the same issues as the rest of the therapy group feels unsafe and unwelcome and doesn't get their issues resolved? As a result, a few of them changed their minds, INCLUDING HER OWN FATHER, and the rest at least shut the hell up about it.

ON THE FLIP SIDE...

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns delighted in making me walk on eggshells, inventing reasons to be angry with me, convinced me I was a terrible person and even went as far as to try and turn me against my own therapist. They tried to tell me that my therapist only said I was a good person because she was paid to, and that because they themselves had a psychology degree that they could tell I had all these complexes and needed to work hard to be a good person, and it was unlikely I'd never get there. (I chose to listen to my therapist and stop being friends with this person).

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns continued to do things that made me uncomfortable when I asked them to stop. Never said in as many words "you're not allowed to hang out with your friends" but conveniently had an emergency every time I had plans, and accused me of being uncaring if I needed my own space. They knew I had difficulty asking for help, but still got angry with me when I asked because I didn't ask "soon enough".

A queer person who used my correct name and pronouns told me they would look after me and they didnt. .

A queer person threatened to misgender me MORE when I corrected them.

I'm just saying, that if you choose to yeet everyone who doesn't get your name and pronouns right... that doesn't necessarily make you safe. We live in a very binary world. As much as we want that to change, it won't if we ignore or shout at the bits we don't like. (Believe me, I've tried).

[persianflaw]

Hi! What do you mean when you say assyrian? Like what is your cultural heritage like? What facets of historical assyria do you currently imbibe/try to emulate? I'm a bit of a history nerd and saw your rice post, so i thought i'd try and get some first person perspectives on this for a pet project of mine. (Anoning coz my main is a hornyblog)

hi, anon! assyrians are not just a historical empire- we are a contemporary ethnic group!

the assyrians are indigenous to the mesopotamian area, and are descended from the original assyrians with whom you are likely more familiar. however, the the assyrian genocide or sayfo that began in 1915 (connected to the armenian genocide + the greek genocide) caused many people to flee to other countries, including my mom's family, so there are more assyrians in the diaspora than in the "homeland" these days.

you may also see us referred to as syriac (with a C, not syrian), which some people prefer because it is a clearer differentiation between ancient assyrians and modern assyrians/syriacs. there are a few other terms like nestorian, aramean, chaldean, but not all of those are in common use these days either and mostly have specific use cases when it comes to language or religion (ex. nestorian mostly refers to members of the assyrian church of the east, but in some older texts it's used to describe assyrians regardless of specific church affiliation). generally people just identify as assyrian.

we did descend from ancient assyrians, and modern assyrian languages (suret) did come from old aramaic, but for me that connection has a pretty negligible connection to modern life, aside from occasionally pointing at assyrian statues in museums and saying "lol look it's us" to my brother. not sure if that's the case for other assyrians, but it isn't something i've seen personally.

if you've got an interest in history, however, you may enjoy our flag!

i swear i'm not mad that i spent ten minutes writing out my own description only to find that the ACF already had this nice helpful diagram my only addition is that the gold part of the symbol in the center represents the sun and the four-pointed star represents land, with the light blue representing tranquility. also that i could have SWORN there was something representing martyrs but apparently not lol. the one assyrian cultural artefact that doesn't reference martyrs i guess.

you can also find variants of this flag with the ashur emblem either outlined in gold or colored in with gold and blue, but afaik there's not a significant symbolic difference there

this flag was designed by george bit atanus as part of a competition started by the assyrian universal alliance in 1968, and adopted some time in the early 70s. i should note that the presence of ashur and shamash on this flag are more of a tribute to ancient assyrians as part of our history as opposed to a current religious reference, as assyrians are overwhelmingly christian.

i ended up writing a lot more for this than i thought i would and now i don't know how to end this post lol. uhh take this screenshot from the "assyrian people" wiki page that always makes me laugh a little bit

like yes we have been persecuted enough for it to be a whole section on our wiki page ✨ #flex #winning

[nocturnowlette]

i have a really big thing for hypnotism in theory but in reality i can't actually be hypnotized and it's so upsetting :( like im sure i could be but i've never managed to focus hard enough and actually be hypnotized, not with actual audio or with text videos or with purely text scripts or anything and i don't know what im doing wrong or if im doing everything right and i just have an undiagnosed something or other

Alright folks, lets play a game of "trance diagnosis"!

There's a number of different common reasons that files (especially generalized files) would fail to hypnotize you. Let's go through them!

A. Being Afraid of Doing Things "Wrong"

One of the most common that I've seen is the idea that you need to do every suggestion and command the way the hypnotist intended and analyzing every commmand in order to do it "properly", and if they do not, the spell will be broken.

Simply put, the way you receive the command is the right way to receive it. Do what feels natural and don't read into it heavily, and just go with the flow. Trance is stubborn when you let yourself sink into it, and one or two commands or suggestions that don't work is not enough to shatter that unless you convince yourself that it is.

However you do it is correct.

B. Recursive Self-Analysis

This is related to the previous, but is the general idea of constantly analyzing your state of mind to see if trance is "working" and what effects are different than before. This takes your focus away from the session itself and almost dissociates you from it.

Just read or listen and try to vibe.

C. Pre-set Expectations for Trance

Trance will not take control from you, and it will almost certainly not feel the way you expect it to if you are new to trance. I have had sessions where I feel basically awake and was still deep in trance as well as sessions where I could hardly think or function.

Trance will not feel like anything else you've experienced exactly, and it is somewhat personal to you.

D. Believing You Cannot Be Hypnotized

Yes, believing you cannot be hypnotized does actually make it harder for you to go into trance. It's not impossible to (because trance is the natural consequence of several basic parts of our minds), but with something like generalized files, it can make it completely ineffective.

So far, I have never met someone immune to trance, from the deeply anxious to the deeply distractible. Every single one of them has dropped deeply for me. To be unable to go into trance would mean to be entirely unable to focus and for some part of your mind to be entirely absent.

Now, what are the solutions to this?

A. Learning How Hypnosis Works

In contrast to what you may think, learning how hypnosis works does not ruin its effectiveness, and, in fact, makes it more effective in many cases. The very first thing I do when introducing someone to trance is explaining, in full, how it works on the basic level. I do so while putting them into trance at the same time.

This clears up misconceptions and also leaves the subject more informed and more assured in themselves. It also has the effect of making them better protected against manipulation and abusive practices.

B. Finding a Hypnotist for a Personal Session

If you cannot seem to troubleshoot this yourself, it's best to find someone who knows how to tailor a session to you specifically. The person who asked this is anonymous so I cannot speak to you personally unless you reach out, but I myself could potentially help in some instances. That being said, I'm quite busy these days, so thats not a promise.

If anyone else has questions, do not be afraid to send in an ask, I love answering them. Have a nice day, everyone.

[misc-obeyme]

Lesson 36 spoilers below, including the locked lesson & hard lesson...

Sorry it's a little screenshot heavy but there was a lot happening in this lesson and I was having a lot of feelings. I think I screenshotted my way through the whole thing lol.

SO. MUCH. LORE.

We got so much lore!??!?!

Things I'm freaking out about:

Mephisto's whole lecture about the underworld and its rings

the fact that trains were seen as commoner's transportation 'cause they were used by demons who couldn't fly

SOLOMON (as if he wasn't hot enough) walking through all the rings of the underworld

Solomon just kinda laughing about it and then agreeing that it's really just a tourist attraction now???? THAT'S THE UNDERWORLD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

He talks about the city of Dis which is straight up from the Divine Comedy. Does this mean Dante has been their resource all along?! That could explain Diavolo's Italian name...

Because he also talks about Minos who also made an appearance in the Divine Comedy... I'm just sayin!!

They said they're taking Lucifer to Cocytus?!? (Which is also in... you guessed it, the Divine Comedy. Where it's stated to be the home of traitors.)

Isn't that the same thing as the River of Lamentation?!?!

What're they gonna do, drown him???

Okay okay my list should have ended several bullet points ago.

(Though on that last one, if they're going full Dante, then they'll bury him in ice instead.)

ANYWAY.

Mephisto buying all those sweets for his little brother was the cutest thing ever. He needs to stop being precious. I was resisting so well and then he had to go and be a good brother and also be concerned about MC and ask if they were all right and yeah he's annoying but it's kind of endearing too....????

This whole part where he was just asking MC questions & worrying about them being hurt. STOP THAT. This is exactly the kind of thing I live for, you're doing on purpose, aren't you??

You are not supposed to care!

I warned you before to stop making me like you...

THAT'S IT. HE'S A KEEPER.

Also do you think that when they say commoners are demons that can't fly... are they saying that demons with wings are the only ones that can be nobles? Or are they saying demons with enough power to fly whether that's with wings or not? Because isn't Barbatos actually like a duke or something? Are you really gonna tell me that guy is a commoner? Even if he does work as a butler... maybe it doesn't count 'cause he can portal himself around?

But also! We know Mephisto is a noble so does this mean his demon form has wings? I thought for sure they were going to go with a tail.

BUT ALSO ALSO do the bros not count? They should all be nobles, but they clearly aren't, but they also aren't commoners? Maybe they're neither 'cause they're fallen angels? And we know three of them have tails, so...? I'M CONFUSED ABOUT HOW THIS WORKS.

Okay, sorry I'm getting off on a bit of a tangent here. There's just so much info that we suddenly got in this lesson about the world! And while I've been wanting more such stuff, I was hoping it would clarify some things not make things more confusing.

So anyway, there's a whole lot of underworld which they've mentioned before but only briefly, so it was cool to get more info on that!

Don't worry, Luci. MC has to travel through time as well as space and I don't think a trip through the underworld is going to cut it. I like it when you compliment Solomon, though.

I don't know how to tell you guys that the idea of Solomon walking through the underworld and laughing about it later makes me insane. So I'm just telling you straight out. I'm insane about it.

Are we still talking about the underworld? Because when I hear "tourist attraction" I tend to think of things like the world's largest ball of twine, not playing chess with Minos, Judge of the Damned.

That whole phone conversation with him was just so good. I know I recently wrote a whole post about him being sus and he still is because it's him, but do not misunderstand me because I love that man. I love his cute little laugh that he always does.

Then again, he's clearly terrible at lying. Good at just not saying stuff maybe, but lying directly? I'm not so sure...

So anyway, Lucifer's gonna be executed, huh? I like how both he and Mephi were like nope Diavolo is gonna fix this. They have such unwavering faith in him, it's precious.

Also, I LOVED THIS ENTIRE PART.

Lucifer saying he knows? He knows, but this is home now for him and his brothers? And then MEPHISTO coming right back with then you should understand why MC wants to go home??

I was not expecting Mephistopheles to understand and be concerned about MC wanting to go home like that. It wasn't something like yeah you should go home you're a human and don't belong here. He didn't say anything like that at all. It was just immediately like you must miss your family. Mephisto confirmed family man!

HARD LESSON: Solomon was being a complete menace. He locked Lucifer's brothers in a room??? What's he gonna make them do!? Eat his cooking?? No, he gives his cooking to people because he loves them and wants to make them happy. So it can't be that. My mind... it goes to dangerous places... why did they have to cut off the lesson without telling us what Solomon's intentions were??

...

I wouldn't mind being locked in that room with them all, though.

Please take this selection of screenshots of him being insufferable with that cute lil smile on his face.

To be fair, he's not wrong... it was pretty funny.

I CAN'T.

Also in the LOCKED LESSON: Barbatos my true love. This whole interaction was amazing. Simeon and Luke are so cute. Diavolo clearly doesn't know Lucifer super well yet and it's so adorable watching him figure it out. And now he's all like Barbatos how can I fix this? And Barb is just like sorry it's too late. LOL he's so strict.

Dadbatos mode activated.

Luke my sweet baby angel, never change!

Diavolo's sad face is so cute, I don't know how Barb ever manages to resist it. I'd just give in to everything he ever wanted all the time. I also love how he is straight up calling Barb mean lol.

They both look so serious. Cut him some slack, Barb!

And lastly, I only wish to leave you with this:

Everybody knows nobody can make tea as good as Barbatos does. Not even Lucifer.

Don't be angry, Luci. You're no Barbatos, but I'm sure your tea is delicious.