#I’m girlbossing over here man

[worth-the-chaos]

For the ask post:

🌵 🛼 🥤 ❄️

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

okay for this one I’m not gonna share a playlist, but rather an artist I really like: I love Solomon Burke. He is an absolutely fantastic 60s soul artist. An incredible talent (my favorite song of his is “Someone is Watching”)

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

Oof this one is kind of tough lol (because I’m like a <3 ;) girlie) but I’d have to say: 🦇🙃🤕🥺🎵

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I really enjoyed “I Should Hate You” by @munsonsreputation …I mean who doesn’t love an absolute banger of an enemies to lovers fic?

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I’m a sucker for like pregnancy fics (like also a good fwb pregnancy moment)…I just think they’re cute in how like the characters have to lean on each other and support each other and I think they have a good mix between angst and fluff ya know? I don’t know about who would write it best, but I would be interested in writing a Steve Harrington x pregnant!reader fic in the future haha!

[harlivy-timkon-supremacy]

GUYS CAN WE **PLEASE** TALK ABOUT THIS

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT DAMIAN GAVE TO EACH OF HIS FELLOW BAT SIBLINGS??? Because these are all real established items in DC canon!!

I’m going to work my way back from Dick, because, OMG. 

Damian gave Dick the Sword of Sin. If that sounded vaguely familiar to you, you might be an Azrael fan because that is his preferred blade to use. What is so special about this sword??? It’s ability:  The Sword of Sin can be ignited with the mind of the wielder, if the person is powerful enough. The sword has the ability to conjure in the mind of its victims all of the sins for which they are guilty or have not atoned for.       Golly gee, I wonder who this might be super effective against. You know. Giant bat guy with a guilt complex bigger than Texas. You can bet your butt Dick is going to send Bruce through a series of ‘Nam war flashbacks before this series is over. I can absolutely see why Damian would give Dick this weapon here, as he’s known Bruce the longest. I can easily see what part in this story Dick is going to be playing as he clearly has the most directly effective weapon against Batman. Damian’s favoritism here is both sweet and a little cruel if you think about the context much. 

Now let’s talk about Stephanie’s weapon, and yes she very much is Damian’s older sibling even if she isn’t a Wayne. Damian gave her the Coup-Stick of Black Bison (A DC Super Villain.) What can this staff do???   The mystical power of the coup-stick can animate material objects and in so doing, command these objects to do its bidding. This power cannot affect living biological material, but can affect non-living organic tissue. Black Bison once used the coup-stick to re-animate the stuffed remains of a white stallion (as well as other animals). Black Bison has also used the coup-stick to control the weather, such as summoning a strong wind to deflect attackers.      Guys Damian gave Stephanie a weapon that will allow her to call on back-up, and COMMAND her own creations, a weapon that allows her to be a leader!! Something she has wanted for a long time??? Also, it sounds like it has the power to control the weather??? Damian really said #girlboss and how much he loves her without actually saying it. I cannot stress enough how well DC could do her justice in this series if they at least tried.

Now, wow. Damian really straight up gave Jason’s dramatic ass the actual Trident of Poseidon, which is an unbreakable weapon that that serves as an extension of the wielder’s own power. Damian really gave Jason not only a King’s weapon, but a godly weapon. What other powers it has might not be relevant to whatever power it might awaken with Jason as its wielder.       Damian really cut out the middle man and just said, “Look, you are stupidly strong. I’m going to give you a stupidly strong weapon. Have at ye!” And you know Jason is going to wield that thing like he’s Poseidon, rightful ruler of the sea. I literally cannot wait to see Jason just absolutely power-housing his way through whatever gets in his way.  

Lastly, but not least in the slightest, Damian gave Tim the Cloak of Cagliostro! Which I want to acknowledge right off the bat, 🎶one of these things is not like the others~🎶 And thank Rao for that, because:  The Cloak of Cagliostro is a magical item which allows the wearer to teleport, and to become intangible, and invisible.      That is the *cutest* Easter Egg ever! Gotham Knights acknowledgement of Tim’s teleporting anyone????? Tim was the only one Damian gave a defensive weapon, and not an offensive weapon to. And that makes sense, because Tim is a defensive fighter! Tim never has to be the strongest person in the room. He just needs to be clever enough to use what he knows to win. Instead of giving him a weapon to swing around, Damian gave him something that Tim could use to protect himself, and actively use to make ALL of his skillsets stronger, not just his fighting power!!! This! Is! NOT! Damian looking down on Tim or considering him weaker. He’s playing to Tim’s strengths! He literally gave his big brother a cloak that straight up is like a cheat-code of meta-powers that would suit Tim SO WELL, because he knows Tim will be able to use those abilities to bullshit levels of effectiveness!! 

It genuinely looks like thought went into what weapons each of the Robins were given. I know fanon likes to bash on Damian or bash on his relationship to his siblings, or vice-versa, but in canon it has been clear for some time now that Damian considers all former and current Robins his family. (Including Tim. He refers to Tim as Timothy nowadays, and calls him his brother, that’s not fanon) No matter if Damian is not himself right now, he’s genuinely looking out for all of their best interests, and is ensuring that each one of them is as well-equipped as possible. 

Regardless, genuinely curious to see how each of these weapons will be used by their respective Robins, and how this will all end up. Hopefully, it ends with a giant group hug that will break the internet. (Also, ngl, I hope if Tim gets a new superhero identity soon his new suit will play off of Gotham Knight’s Tim’s abilities or be based off this cloak. Just think that would be neat ✨)

[kazumist]

EPISODE 28 ✿ WHY WOULDN'T I MISS YOU?

YOU + ME = LOVE — A DILUC SMAU

masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 682.

you didn’t know how or why, but somehow, your feet brought you to the same place you and diluc last spoke before he graduated. the night air was cold yet also relaxing for someone like you, who has a lot on their mind.

“hey,” you hear an all too familiar voice behind you. even after all these years, your hearing knows exactly what he sounds like.

“what are you doing here?”

if you could use two words to describe your situation right now, it would be fucking awkward. what are you even supposed to do? the man you loved when you were seventeen is suddenly back, like nothing happened (then again, nothing really happened between the two of you). do you say hi? do you ask him how he’s been for the past seven years? 

do you walk away again, just like that day?

“... how are you lately?” hesitation leaks from his tone.

“fine. you?”

“i’ve been well.”

can this get any worse? it’s just so awkward—you might as well crawl into a hole and die rather than face your (greatest love) stupid first love from back then.

“i… i read your email.” shit. you’re probably going to regret saying that.

“oh? i’m glad.”

seven years. seven years since you both lost contact. seven years ever since diluc ragnvindr crashed into your life. seven years, ever since you two were just having your own fun in the library (though the nostalgia makes it feel like it only happened yesterday).

it has been seven years since you fell in love with him.

you nodded to him, avoiding eye contact. “i was… quite hesitant to open it back then, really. and once i’ve read it, i had no idea what to feel. was i supposed to feel ecstatic because my feelings were actually reciprocated? or was i supposed to hate you because you made me believe in love yet you didn’t even bother trying out long distance?” you said, sighing. “i really did love you, you know. i may have been seventeen and a tad bit dumb, but i knew enough that my feelings were real.” 

“because you will always be my first love.”

it was silent for a moment. “cliche, isn’t it?” you chuckled weakly. why are you even telling him all of this? what a way to let him know that you never really moved on after all this time.

“no, it isn’t cliche,” diluc hesitantly replies.

“really? how so?”

“because.. i marked your email as one of my favorites so that whenever i was missing you, i’d read it” he replies.

 your head perked up when you heard that, and your eyes immediately met his. “you… missed me?”

“why wouldn’t i miss you?”

“i… i  thought you found someone else when you moved… i thought you forgot about me—about everything—and had some sort of life restart abroad,” you stammered. diluc takes a step towards you as your mind starts replaying that day again.

a hand travels to your cheek, cupping it ever so gently. he’s scared to lay a hand on you again. but for diluc, he thinks he might not get any opportunity like this ever again. his thumb grazes over your cheekbone slightly, minding his actions and making sure they don’t make you uncomfortable. and then he whispers:

“do you think that i could ever forget you?” his eyes don’t leave yours even for a second. “do you think that i would allow myself to be happy with someone else? when i have clearly promised you that i will come back for you?”

“after seven long years, (name), you’re still the one my heart calls for, and i don’t think that fact will ever change.”

“are you sure?” you asked him back in a whisper.

“positively.” 

fuck it.

you pulled him in for a kiss. it was gentle and slow as your hands traveled to his nape and pulled him closer. diluc’s hands placed themselves on your waist, and you could feel your heart beating hard. 

and just as diluc hoped, you did welcome him back with open arms.

extra notes.

reader is kinda marupok but hey thats diluc

not very girlboss but youll see a male lead the reader chasing soon in someone else's story <3

taglist (open): @ryuryuryuyurboat @g4bbyyy @kizakiss @quackimilktea @mochiboo123 @thystarsshine @cerisescherries @jamieexistss @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @aethion @dottoreworld-page @naishite @sleepyeri @staaarhin @eroxotckv @kiyiiaarchived @fallenssun @lolmeowing @dorryx @astolary @kissingkzuha @axerrri @a1-ic3 @lottierulez @livelaughlovekuni @sorcerersseestars @whipped-for-fictionals @morganadorodo @briluvspnk @venderretta @xiaosoneandonly @angeilix @morgyyyyyyy @kazioli @the-massive-simp @qtange @tiredjxnna @yuminako @acheronie @sn1perz @akitokisser @siu-ssi @artri-ad @hyeinszn @saeskiss @bubblegum-angelquartz @boomie-123 @moni11032 @sandwichmyonetruelove @cherrybb-ily @itztaki @dontmindtheevie @hotgirlshit5 [1/2]

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Loretta Young (The Farmer’s Daughter, The Stranger, Love is News)— Her cheekbones!! Her lips!! Her big eyes and small nose and not quite classical features!! The planes of her face hypnotize me and her smile clears my mind of anything else. She’s an interesting beauty, not a standard one, almost in a Mads Mikkelsen type way (I repeat: cheekbones). Also I’m begging people to watch The Farmer’s Daughter, a charming rom com where my babygirl Joseph Cotten falls through the ice while skating because he got distracted by how pretty she was, and where Loretta puts on a 40s-bad Swedish accent and runs for Congress! Girlboss!

Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)—its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous movies.... most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an “aura of sophistication and languid sexuality” which✔️💯. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker “marlene”. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, “She has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Loretta Young:

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

"ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face"

"First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you."

Bisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life

Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything

“In her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.”

"The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender"

"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of ‘a serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.’ Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: ‘Dietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.’”

"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."

"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."

Gifset link

"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."

"Did a bunch of humanitarian work during ww2, pretty sure a shot of her from Shanghai express was the inspiration for one of queens album covers and also her in the suit in Morocco (1930) CHANGED LIVES. I’m sure she’s already been submitted but I wanted an opportunity to submit one of my favourite pictures of her for the poll"

"would you not let her walk on you?"

[auras-moonstone]

OMGOMGOMG WHAT IF JACK CHAMPION X READER AND LIKE THEY ARE READING FUNNY THIRST TWEETS AND ITS FUNNY BUT JACK IS A LITTLE JEALOUS BUT YESSS I LOVE YOUR WORK BAE🤍🤍🤍 

hi, thank you sm!!🤍 this was really fun to write, hope you like it!

i’m so chill, but you make me jealous — jack champion

word count: 1,059

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

summary: y/n and jack are invited to read thirst tweets and jack gets a little jealous of the compliments his girlfriend receives.

“HI! I’M Y/N Y/L/N AND I PLAY JULIET ON SCREAM 6” the girl said to the camera with a big smile.

“And I’m Jack Champion and I play Ethan Landry on Scream 6” he did a little wave while showing his perfect white teeth.

“And today we’re here with Buzzfeed to read…” Y/N said, waiting for his boyfriend to finish the line.

“Thirst tweets! I’m scared, Twitter is one wild app” Jack chuckled.

“I love twitter” Y/N told the cameras, emphasising the word ‘love’.

“She really does, she spends hours on it. And sometimes I can hear her laughter from the bedroom when I’m in the living room” he smiled, looking at her in adoration.

“People are very creative in there!” she defended herself. “Anyways, let’s start this!”.

it’s just rude how jack champion walks around being cute and i’m not there to witness it

Jack smiled “That’s actually really adorable. Thank you so much!”

“It’s honestly ruder when you actually witness it because you can’t just comprehend how someone this cute exists” Y/N said faking annoyance.

“Aw, stop it. You’re making me blush” he let out a nervous laugh, covering his face.

“My favorite hobby: making my boyfriend blush” she’s smiled proudly.

PLEASE I WOULD DIE FOR JACK CHAMPION AND Y/N Y/L/N I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRIP THEY HAVE ON ME I’D GLADLY WALK OVER HOT COALS CARRYING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IF IT MEANT THEY’D BE HAPPY

“I just love how supportive people are about our relationship. Like, especially the fans, they’re always sending us adorable messages and commenting how we make them happy. Honestly, thank you so much” Jack said in a grateful way.

“Yes, they are awesome! And you don’t have to do that to makes us happy. Just send us fan edits of us with Taylor Swift songs, and we’ll be the happiest!” she winked at the camera.

y/n y/l/n in scream 6 is so fine, like she could gaslight gatekeep and girlboss me and i would let her

“Thanks! I guess… man I love this! My self-esteem is going to be on the fucking sky once we’re finished!” Y/N laughed.

“I don’t know how I feel about people thirsting over my girlfriend… but at the same time I get it, look at her!” Jack said, turning his face to look at her profile. She truly was an angel—inside and out. And he honestly, even after a year of dating, still can’t believe how lucky he is.

jack champion has the cutest smile ever i cry forever

“I feel you!” Y/N said loudly. “He says he never had braces but I don’t fucking buy it. No one naturally has that million dollar smile”.

“Thank you for the compliment. And I swear, I never had braces”

“I don’t buy it, but okay. I love you so I’ll let you gaslight me”

y/n y/l/n could stab me 781 times and i would still be screaming thank you!

“Woah! You have some serious kinks, but I won’t judge you” Y/N laughed.

“Y/N! Oh my god” his boyfriend laughed. “I honestly don’t know how to take this tweet, let’s just quickly move on”.

if you don’t find jack champion hot, you’re lying!

“I mean, everyone has a different type, so” Jack shrugged.

Y/N rolled her eyes “Bullshit. You’re everyone’s type. If you know someone who doesn’t find him hot, send me their address, I just wanna talk”.

“I love you” Jack laughed, kissing her knuckles.

“I love you too” she smiled.

no one talks about scream 6 without mentioning how hot jack champion is

“I mean, it’s true! I think we all felt some type of way during the train scene… and when he took his mask off???? I forgot how to breath” Y/N said. She will never shut up about how gorgeous his boyfriend was, because his factions were just too good to not be talked about.

“I’m starting to think you sent these tweets, love”

“I didn’t. But you know what? I’m opening a Jack Champion fan account to tweet about your pretty face every day”

“I’m honoured” he laughed. Jack just loved how she was always complimenting him, it made him feel really loved by her.

i would let y/n y/l/n split me in half like a pistacho send tweet

Jack widened his eyes “Can we leave now?”

“No!” Y/N laughed.

“I feel like every tweet gets dirtier and I won’t be able to handle it”

“Are you seriously jealous about some random people on the internet?” Y/N chuckled “You’re so cute. Thanks for the tweet, by the way! But I have a lovely boyfriend who would definitely not appreciate me doing that!”

“That’s better” he smiled proudly.

i want someone to look at me the way y/n and jack look at each other

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard” Jack said, touching his chest.

“We really are part of those annoying couples who can’t keep doing heart eyes to the other. And honestly, I’m not even embarrassed by it, I love loving my boyfriend”.

y/n is so fucking fine i hope her cheetos are FLAMING HOT like her

“And we’re done!” Jack said, doing one big loud clap. “Thank you for watching!”

“Thank you for the compliment and sorry about my jealous boyfriend. Thanks for watching, don’t forget to like and suscribe!” Y/N gave one last grin to the camera before it stopped recording.

“Everybody wants you” Jack frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Y/N laughed “Sorry for them then, because I only want you. Now, can we go to the dressing room so we can make out?”

Jack nodded, and Y/N swore she had never seen him run so fast.

buzzfeed here you go! your favorite couple reads thirst tweets! ❤️

y/nxjack this should be called “y/n and jack read thirst tweets while thirsting over each other” tbh

y/nslover omg the cheetos tweet is mine!!! y/n.y/l/n you are the love of my life

jackchampion no she’s not she’s mine🤬

y/nslover jackchampion can you fight??

jackchampion y/nslover WHY WOULD I FIGHT SHE’S ALREADY MY GIRLFRIEND I’M GOING TO BLOCK YOU

y/n.y/l/n i love you you’re a sweetheart y/nslover 💕 JACK STOP IT OMG

devyn_nekoda i love how jack’s jaw clenches more and more as the video goes on😭😭😭 by the way, the pistacho tweet… i relate

y/n.y/l/n tell me time and place gorgeous :)

jackchampion we are over y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n okay jackchampion

jackchampion NO BABE I WAS KIDDING I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME y/n.y/l/n

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

TWST As Lines I've Written/Said

Content Warning: Shitpost, suggestiveness(idk?) & swearing

Author's Note: These are either things I've said, or things that I've written down but haven't used... yet, might use them in the future, might not. Feel free to guess which is which.

Let the shenanigans begin!

Yuu, upon entering TWST

Yuu: “I’m motivated by spite and getting the fuck out of this damned place!” 

Crowley: “This damned place just so happens to be my school!” 

Yuu: “Yeah? Well, guess what Mr. Mystery Man, I fucking hate it here!” 

Crowley: “Rude.”

Typical Ace Behaviour

Yuu: “Behave, my friends are coming over.” 

Ace: “Weird. I didn’t know you were capable of having those.” 

Yuu: “You know what? You can go out and wait on the fire escape until they leave if you want to act like that.”

Capitalism Isn't Attractive

Deuce: “Do not fall for the pretty man with the fancy clothes!” 

Yuu: “Why not? He’s hot as fuck.” 

Deuce: “... He’s a capitalist.” 

Yuu: “THAT WHORE!”

Pissy Kitty

Leona: “Great, you again.” 

Yuu: “I’m thrilled to see you too, asshole.”

Floyd, just Floyd

Floyd: “Why not?” 

Yuu: “Unlike you, I don’t want to die!” 

Floyd: “Boo, you’re lame.”

Yuu Needs a Raise

Yuu: “My therapist will be thrilled to hear about this revelation.” 

Everyone: “What’s a therapist?”

Why Are You Like This?

Vil: “You are a blithering buffoon.” 

Yuu: “Takes one to know one.” 

Vil: “...Listen here you little piece of -”

Cryptid Hours

Yuu: *walks into room to find Idia sitting in the dark, facing the corner* “Did the voices win today?”

Idia: “Undecided.”

Yuu: “Okay then, let me know if that changes. Since I would like a headstart before you go all *insert demon noises* on me.”

After Any Overblot

Yuu: "I feel like a baked potato." *passes out*

The Adventures of Malleus

Malleus: “Tell me, Child of Man; do humans typically court through the acquiring and displaying of fish?”

Yuu: “Why?”

Malleus: *has been secretly using your phone for research and found himself on Tinder* “Just curious is all.”

Yuu: “... No, it’s not typical.”

Malleus: “Alright then, noted.”

Dear Professor Vargas, I regret to inform you that your attempts to woo a potential mate through your acquiring of fish may not be successful. And does the "DILF" shorts mean, "Darling, I Love Fish?" ... Asking for a friend. Sincerely, Malleus Draconia

Octopus Eyesight

Yuu: “Do you have astigmatism?”

Azul: “Do I have what?”

Yuu: “Astigmatism, like when you look at lights at night do you see lines? Since you have weird ass pupils.”

Azul: “...wait, that isn’t normal?”

Should I Be Nervous?

Yuu: “Have you ever been overcome with the lust for broccoli?”

Trey: ". . ."

Yuu: *squints, thinking* “Break glass in case of sudden lust for broccoli...”

Trey: "Should I leave?"

A Question to Ponder

Yuu: “Why do fictional men slap so hard? Like damn.”

Riddle: “Because they are not real and do not come with any of the negative consequences that often come with real men, also you can better idealize them… And anime, ‘Makes you go brrrrr,’ as you put it.”

College Life

Rollo: “I am running off 3 hours of sleep and a single croissant, do not test me.”

Baby Talk

Rook: “Ah, bonjour chatton!" *proceeds to babytalk to the cat in French*

Yuu's Type

Yuu: “I have 4 types; wet cat, malewife, girlboss, and whore." tag yourself

Crewel: "... You need to focus on your grades, not on some mutts."

What Do You Have?

Jamil: "What's that?"

Kalim: *hiding a cat that he stole from outside* "Uhhh, my love for you?"

Jamil: *annoyed* "Put it back outside, Kalim."

Kalim: *puts the cat in his face* "BUT LOOK AT THEM!! THEY BABEY!!!!"

[in-class-daydreams]

Dress Code

Pairing: Auror!Sebastian Sallow x Unspeakable!Fem!Reader (no Y/N) Synopsis. Basically a girlboss married to Sebastian simulator. You and Sebastian received a call from your daughter's school and neither of your are happy about it. On the plus side, Sebastian so loves watching your protective side come out. A/N: I churned this out in one sitting, no I didn't proofread. Also I'm not British so suspend your disbelief if you find inaccuracies about the school system. TW: Sexualization of a minor (alluded to)

The clacking of Sebastian’s dress shoes echoed off the walls of the empty corridor. He listened carefully. All was quiet. Good. His wife hadn’t arrived yet.

He tugged at his dark green tie to loosen it. Despite how sharp he looked in his black three-piece suit with a chain and cape over one shoulder, had he not been at work at the Ministry of Magic when he received the owl, he wouldn't have dressed up for his daughter’s blasted school at all. Sebastian was counting the days before he could send his sweet Eliza to Hogwarts next year.

The Headmaster’s office was at the end of the hall. This school was much more dreary than Hogwarts to the point where it seemed like a prison. It wasn’t the first time he second-guessed his and his wife’s decision not to call in a favor to secure a Hogwarts enrollment early. His wife was worried having an auror and an Unspeakable as parents would make them insufferable if they overused their influence. Considering that their parenting wouldn’t reach as far as Hogwarts, Sebastian relented, even though he was hard-pressed to entrust his baby girl anywhere other than his alma mater.

Sebastian made to knock as he usually did, but remembered himself and rapped lightly on the door. His wife always chastised him for banging on doors like the law enforcement. He argued that it was a force of habit and she denied him kisses for two whole hours. Never again. The door opened to reveal a stout man a head shorter than Sebastian with a beard and tweed coat.

“Mr. Sallow!” The auror reluctantly shook the Headmaster’s hand. “It is an honor, sir. Would you like some tea, sir?”

Sebastian denied the tea, but exchanged half-assed pleasantries for the sake of his daughter, who was sitting in a stiff-backed chair against the wall. He kneeled to eye level in front of her.

“There you are, sweetheart,” he cooed, weak to her big brown eyes looking up at him.

“I’m sorry you got called from work, daddy.” Eliza looked teary. “I know you had important auror things today.”

His heart clenched. “There’s nothing in the magical world more important than you, darling.” He looked down in confusion. “Why are you wearing those?”

Instead of her plaid blue skirt Sebastian cried upon seeing the first time - first time fathers, right? - she had on loose, ratty gray trousers held up by a brown belt that looked even older than Sebastian himself.

When Eliza looked down in shame, he straightened up and addressed the Headmaster.

“Explain.”

The Headmaster straightened to his full height and placed his hands on his protruding stomach.

“Well, Mr. Sallow, your daughter has just received her third uniform violation in as many months. It is time we addressed it,” he said.

Sebastian raised a skeptical eyebrow. “What’s wrong with her uniform?”

Taking a sip of his tea, the Headmaster said, “It is much too short. Several of her teachers have made comments.”

“Ah.” Sebastian crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Then we’ll just have to wait.”

The Headmaster eyed him warily. “Whatever for, Mr. Sallow?” Typically, Sebastian would take full advantage of his height and aura to put the man in his place, but there was a much more fitting punishment on its way and much more severe.

“My wife will be here momentarily,” he said.

“What would you call your wife for?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Because we’re a partnership. If you had to ask, I feel sorry for the poor woman that had to marry you.”

“Well, I never–!”

Their conversation was interrupted by a light knock on the door. Grabbing the handle, Sebastian cast the Headmaster a sideways look.

“Endeavor not to disrespect my wife. She is not the submissive housewife you seem to be imagining.”

He opened the door and in you strode, clad in an elegant dark green velvet pantsuit. Sebastian smiled to himself, happy that you let him convince you to match colors with him while buying work clothes. The way the slacks hugged your legs was just a bonus.

“Headmaster,” you said sharply, taking his hand. Then you turned and crouched in front of your daughter as Sebastian had.

“What’s going on, my love?” you asked. The two of you shared the same curve of your lips, but nothing more. Of course you’d carry a child for nine months only to have her pop out a splitting image of your husband.

The Headmaster cleared his throat. “Miss Sallow’s–”

“Hup-up-up,” you tutted, “I was speaking to my daughter. You’d do well not to interrupt.”

His face reddened at being spoken to in such a way, and by a woman, no less. Sebastian, on the other hand, was beside himself. His heart swelled with love the way it did when you first handed him his ass in a duel all those years ago.

“Go on, it’s alright,” you told her.

With some reluctance, Eliza replied, “My skirt is too short.”

You stiffened and momentarily met Sebastian’s gaze through the corner of your eye. “That’s nonsense, your father and I know the uniform regulations by heart.”

Eliza shook her head. “My teachers have said it’s distracting.”

“What’s distracting, love?”

“Me. My skirt.”

You wiped your hands on your slacks and cupped your daughter’s cheek. With a reassuring smile, you straightened and turned to Sebastian, who looked a mix of incensed and amused.

“Don’t overdo it,” he told you.

“Now’s as good a time as ever,” you argued.

“Don’t,” he urged. “Think of the paperwork.”

You cupped his face and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. Then he held out a hand towards Eliza.

“Come, now. Mum will take care of this,” he said.

Eliza eagerly hopped out of her chair and took her father’s hand. He led her out into the hallway and shut the door behind them.

“Is mother going to kill the Headmaster?” she asked innocently.

Sebastian laughed. “No, love, dead men can’t send a message.”

“What does that mean?”

Sebastian cringed and cupped his hands over her ears, as if that would somehow protect her. Hopefully you didn’t hear that.

“Never mind that. Mum will be out soon and we’ll go home and make dinner together,” he assured her.

“What about work?” Eliza asked.

“I have the feeling she and I will be taking a half-day.”

Inside the Headmaster’s office, you tapped a heeled foot. Hogwarts was quite the progressive school considering what was going on outside it in your time. Still, you were always caught by surprise when such archaic ways of thinking cropped up. Though you supposed this wasn’t the first upset of this nature and such indiscretions would continue long after you were gone.

You crossed your arms.

“My daughter’s skirt is well-within regulations. According to your handbook, the hem must be touching the knee at all times while standing and cannot rise above a quarter inch above the knee while sitting. Her hem touches her knee even while sitting. Seeing as you have eyes and I assume you know your own handbook, I’d like an explanation as to why you interrupted my workday over this.”

The Headmaster sputtered under the coldness in your tone.

“Mrs. Sallow–”

“No.”

“Ma’am, teachers have been making complaints about how inappropriate Eliza looks in her uniform. I’m sure you can see that she looks rather improper at times. It is distracting.”

You blinked.

“I see. Which teachers have called her distracting?”

The Headmaster seemed to interpret your question as his opportunity to throw some credibility behind his words. He rattled off the different teachers and the subjects they taught. There was a single woman, but you were unsurprised to hear ‘Mister’ this and ‘Mister’ that.

“They can vouch for what I’ve said, and I would call them to my office if need be,” he smiled like he won. Like him calling for backup could do anything against you.

“Please do.” You nodded calmly. “It will be good to match a face to a name during the investigations.”

The Headmaster paled. “Investigations?”

Your stern gaze met with his shifting, nervous eyes.

“But of course,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “My auror husband and I simply cannot allow men who would be distracted by a ten year old girl to work at a school. That won’t do at all.”

The Headmaster stumbled around his desk in his haste to approach you.

“Now, now! That is quite the conclusion you’ve come to, Mrs. Sal– Ma’am. Our faculty has simply observed that Eliza’s body has developed in such a way that–”

You put a hand up to stop him. “I see. A young woman’s body changes the slightest bit and suddenly grown men are unable to contain themselves.”

“That’s not what I–!”

Turning to take your leave, you call over your shoulder, “I hope you have other skills, Headmaster, for you’ll never work in education again. Consider my daughter disenrolled.”

You step out into the hall and are greeted by your husband and child. Eliza looked nervous while Sebastian was trying to hide a smile.

You lean down to ask your daughter, “Do you have all your things?” She nodded. “Everything? You won’t be coming back here.” She nodded again.

“Good.”

Sebastian placed his hand on the small of your back, took Eliza’s hand, and guided you both to the exit. He leaned over and spoke in hushed tones.

“All settled? Finished tormenting him?” he asked.

“My love, I haven’t even begun to torment him,” you replied.

He kissed your temple. “You are absolutely terrifying.”

“I am.”

“I’m desperately in love with you.”

“You are.”

---

A/N: Sebastian's auror outfit is inspired by a fanart I saw by @notashree on TikTok, and it looks like she has an instagram @itsashree.

Also, the line where The Headmaster tries to call you 'Mrs. Sallow' had a different response, but it's a spoiler for a different fic I'm writing, so I changed it. Yeehaw.

[fuckaroundandfindouttournament]

Hey there, girlies (gender neutral)! Welcome to the ✨fuck around and find out✨ tournament, where we find out who’s the cutest badass! Submissions will be open for a week! (until 09/11 @ 12 EST)

✨The rules:✨

“Cute but can kick your ass” characters of all genders are accepted. Just no one from overly problematic sources. Vtubers and MCYT are not allowed.

One character per submission. You can submit multiple times, but only submit a character once! Please don’t spam.

No limit on characters from the same source.

Please be nice! Propaganda and feedback is allowed, but do not attack myself or others. You will be blocked.

This blog is rated M. Warning for potentially upsetting media. Let me know if you need anything tagged.

This bracket is for fun! Don’t take anything too seriously please. :3

✨Submit Here✨

Inspired by: @autistic-anime-girls-bracket @autisticgirliesbracket @girlygirltournament @pinkhairswagtourney@victimsofyaoipoll @morally-grey-girlbosses @best-kirby-character-tournament @controversial-blorbo-bracket @least-sexy-man-competition @most-datable-datable-bracket @leastdatablebracket @canonmisogynyvictimstournament @bi4bibracket @magical-mascot-smackdown @precureshowdown @precure-alphabet-showdown @mommy-daddy-issues-poll @uquiztournament @personasongshowdown @precuremusictournament @foundfamilyadoptionagency @ultimateanthropoll @ultimate-good-dog @ultimatepinkboy @magical-boy-bracket @guys-with-good-vibes-tournament @multicolorhairswagtournament @siblingtournament @tragicsibsshowdown @actually-insane-blorbo-bracket @favoritepokemontournament @favoritecapcomcharacterbracket @look-how-they-massacred-them (there’s more but i’m blanking lol)

Characters who are already entered:

all the Mew Mews (Tokyo Mew Mew)

all 4 Cures (Hirogaru Sky Precure, Fresh Precure, Mahoutsukai Precure)

Abigail (Stardew Valley)

Aerith Gainsborough, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)

Alice Liddel (American McGee’s Alice)

Alphonse & Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Alucard (Castlevania)

Alyssa Hamilton (Clock Tower 3)

Baby Bonnie Hood (Darkstalkers)

Barbie

Bibi the cat (IRL)

the DDLC girlies (Doki Doki Literature Club)

the Elsens (OFF)

Princess Fiona (Shrek)

Fiona Belli & Hewie (Haunting Ground)

Garnet & Spinel (Steven Universe)

Guillermo de la Cruz (What We Do in the Shadows)

Hana Nono/Cure Yell (Hugtto! Precure)

Haruka Haruno/Cure Flora (Go! Princess Precure)

Heather Mason (Silent Hill 3)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing/Super Smash Bros.)

Jeanette Voerman (Vampire: the Masquerade — Bloodlines)

Juliet Starling (Lollipop Chainsaw)

Leon S. Kennedy (Resident Evil 4)

Link (The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker)

Lisa Garland (Silent Hill)

Love Momozono/Cure Peach (Fresh Precure)

Kagome Higurashi (Inuyasha)

Kanji Tatsumi (Persona 4)

Kirby

Kotone Shiomi & Shinjiro Aragaki (Persona 3 Portable)

Madotsuki (Yume Nikki)

Mami Tomoe (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Marina (Splatoon 2)

Mega Lopunny (Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire)

Mimikyu (Pokemon Sun & Moon)

Noelle Holiday (Deltarune)

Opal (Pokemon Sword & Shield)

Panty & Stocking Anarchy (Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt)

Penny (Pokemon Scarlet & Violet)

Princess Peach (Super Mario/Super Smash Bros.)

Pyro (Team Fortress 2)

Rabbit of Caerbannog (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Prince Sidon (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild & Tears of the Kingdom)

Sora & Kairi (Kingdom Hearts)

Spyro the Dragon

Terry Hintz & Buddy (Lisa the Painful)

Top Speed (Magical Girl Raising Project)

Toriel, Asgore and Asriel Dreemur (Undertale)

Usagi Tsukino & Minako Aino (Sailor Moon)

Whitney & Miltank (Pokemon Gold, Silver & Crystal)

Wirt & Greg (Over the Garden Wall)

Zoey, Rochelle & Ellis (Left 4 Dead series)

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Idk bout you but I’m a sucker for possessive men, so I’d like to ask for some jealousy HCs for the JJK men. Thank uuuuuuu muah

My darling, I'd like nothing more than to give them to you 💜

Now Presenting...

Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo likes to think he’s not possessive at all. Key word: Think.

In reality, he’s deeply insecure, convinced he’s not good enough for you, and is obsessed, extremely concerned with not losing you.

This unholy concoction has led to an extremely possessive man.

Now, to be fair, He’s pretty good about keeping it in check. He’s not going to lose his mind cause he saw some asshole checking you out at the supermarket. He’s better than that.

Now, if said asshole tries to talk to you, that’s a completely different story. Then he’s literally grabbing you, arms around your waist and actively trying to give you a hickey while you talk to his new number one enemy.

And good fukin luck to you my friend if you call him out on it, cause now he’s convinced you liked that guy too.

Especially early on in your relationship, when he’s still guarded because he’s scared of getting hurt, he’s going to be straight up toxic about it. 

“No, it’s fine, really. If you like him so much, go talk to him. I just wanna know when you stopped caring about me.”

Honestly, you’re better off leaving him alone to let him work out his own shit. He’ll realize he was being an idiot, no doubt helped by the fact that you’re still here, but it’s gonna take 2 hours minimum. 

Gojo is not about to start a fight over some douche bag flirting with you. Mostly because he can not catch another a case. But that doesn’t mean he’s just going to sit by and let it happen, nay nay dear reader.

No, he’s just also going to also talk part in the conversation. Wrapping an arm around your waist and finding any excuse he can, no matter how weak, to drop the fact that he’s your boyfriend.

The exception being the moment the other person puts a hand on you. The moment that happens, all bets are off, and I hope you have bail money. He’s not going to murder them probably but you’re for sure going to be dealing with assault charges. 

Also, not to get NSFW, but the sex after? When He feels like he has to prove to himself he’s good enough for you and remind you that you belong to him? Good luck bestie.

Suguru Geto

This man is nothing but jealous all the time. If he had it his way, you would never leave the bedroom. . 

He’s quick to lay his claim on you. Holding you close to him and kissing you mid sentence so that whoever the person flirting with you is get’s the point. 

Afterwards though? On the way home? Silent treatment. When you do get him to talk?

“I just don’t understand. Why don’t you love me anymore?”

Yea, he’s gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing YOU into apologizing to HIM. 

I really can’t see this man as anything other than toxic, my god. 

Still, he doesn’t put up with anyone playing with his toys. If he sees you talking to anyone while out, he’s hugging you from behind, kissing your neck and loudly asking “Hey Darling, Who’s this?” 

That Who’s this is dripping in condescension and hatred. Because he does hate them. He hates anyone that could take you away from him.

Your friends are not immune to this btw. 

Slowly he starts to pull you away from your friends and integrate you into his friend group.

Not that he trusts them either. Nay nay, It’s just easier to keep an eye on you this way. 

He’s always reminding you that you’re his. Marking you, draping his jacket over you, conveniently forgetting to buy you more body wash so you have to use his, literally anything to get the point across that you were his. 

Like, this man has deemed himself your chair, cause if you're going to be together, he’s going to find any excuse he can to sit you on his lap.

Now, Suguru is not the type to get confrontational or physical. That being said, if you express that someone is making you uncomfortable, it's game over for them.

The upsides are: no silent treatment! Instead he’s dotting on you and himself apologetic for letting you be put into that situation.

The downside is now you have to clean blood off of him. Again, probably not murder, but for sure an assault charge.

Kento Nanami

Nanami honestly doesn’t have the time to get jealous. 

He trusts you more than anyone else. He has to to date you. So, he’s not normally worried about other people. 

If he starts to feel jealous, he’ll normally just talk to you about it.

Normally. 

The exception is when it comes to your friends. 

He’s not worried about any of them taking you away from him romantically, that thought has never crossed his mind. And for the most part, he likes your friends.

But he does get jealous of how much of your time you spend with them. And of course he doesn’t want to say anything because he knows it's ridiculous. 

But when he comes home from a long day of work to see you have your friends over, meaning he has to share you when his emotional capacity has already been filled? Yea, he's not happy.

And he doesn’t try to hide how possessive he feels in that moment either, he’s stealing your seat and placing you firmly on his lap for after work cuddles.

Oh, he’s embarrassing you in front of your friends? Oh well. Send them home then. 

He’s going to, discreetly,  kiss your neck, and rub your hips until you’re hot and bothered enough to send your friends home.

He just wants your time. It bugs him when other people preoccupy it, when he feels like you’re prioritizing other people over him. 

He can recognize that this is probably his most toxic trait, and he is working on it. 

But you’re still going to have to deal with him while he is

Ryomen Sukuna

Everyone else is an amature when it comes to being possessive/jealous Sukuna OWNS that shit

It’s literally his baseline. Other people can’t look at you without pissing off your guard dog.

He’s your guard dog btw. 

They don’t even have to be flirting! If someones talking to you, he is holding you close and actively glaring at them until they leave you alone.

And if they are flirting, well I hope they're cool with whatever god they worship. Cause they’re about to meet said god. 

Sukuna is insistent that you are his and his alone. It’s why he even takes the time to mark you up all pretty like he has. So other people can see that.

So if someones dumb enough to see your lovingly bruised neck and still flirt with you then as far as he’s concerned, he’s doing the gene pool a favor by taking them out of it. 

God forbid he thinks you’re into it. 

QUICK NSFW WARNING

He will slaughter your new toy and fuck you until you can’t walk in front of the corpse. You won't be able to walk for weeks if ever again from the punishing he’s going to put you through.

OK, NSFW OVER

Ideally, your best bet is to tell him the moment that you realize someone is flirting with you. Even if they’re not necessarily making you uncomfortable, better to keep your life than theirs, right? 

Hell, you might even get a reward for being so vigilant. 

Honestly I need to write an entire Yandere Sukuna fic cause he is made for it. He is THE most Yandere character.

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 20: girlboss and malewife

“hi, my stars!” you said after you started the stream. you enjoyed streaming. you liked live interacting with your fans and how it was void of any editing.

“how are you guys?” you asked, looking at the chat.

rorymp4: better now that youre streaming

“aw, im flattered.”

xogopissgirl: UR SO PRETTY

“so are you, beautiful!”

slvtforconnie: GOOD WBY

“i’m great, thanks!”

flowergrrl: girl stop w the ‘special guest’ we know its eren 😒

you bit your lip to hide your smile, before jokingly rolling your eyes. “can y’all at least pretend to not know who it is?”

slvtforconnie: IS IT CONNIE???

peterparkersgf: dumb bitch she would not call connie a special guest

stupidvbtch: ITS EREN ISNT IT????

“as you all know, i have a special guest today. a lot of you already know who it is.” you rolled your eyes. “introducing the one and only, photography guy!”

eren let out an airy chuckle and sighed. “oh god, do not call me that. but, hello everybody. i was forced to be here.”

“yeah, he’s actually my hostage. you can’t see it, but his arms are handcuffed to the chair so he can’t leave.”

eren mouthed “help me.” to the camera, making you laugh.

“anyways. today we’re gonna play roblox, because this man has never played before. can you believe that?”

cartisimp77: who the fuck has never played roblox before

“literally what i said.”

“okay, chat what should we play first?”

sailormoonz: PLAY DA HOOD

user50: YES PLAY DA HOOD

“they’re saying da hood. you wanna play?”

“i have no idea what that is but yes.”

rorymp4: bro erens gonna get his ass killed

you laughed, putting your hand up to cover your smile.

eren looked over at you with suspicion. “what are they saying? why are you laughing?”

you pointed to the screen that was filled with the live comments from your viewers, making him look over.

user101: stop he’s so hot

slvtforconnie: might have to change my username bc omg..

peterparkersgf: YN GIRL U WON

user03: i want him to **** me until i *** all over his ****

“i want him to.. blank.. me until i ..blank.. all over his ..blank..” eren read out, his eyes slowly widening.

“wow, um. i will not be doing that, unfortunately , but um. i’m flattered?” he looked over at you.

“why are they all just like you?”

🫧

you were now both in a da hood server, immediately being greeted with the sounds of gunshots.

“i thought this was a kids game. what’s going on?”

he walked around and found people fighting and shooting.

“what the fuck is happening?” he shouted.

“eren, where the fuck are you?”

“i don’t know! there’s a literal brawl going on, what the fuck?” he tried to run away, before someone hit him with a knife.

“im being assaulted, y/n where are you?”

you looked at his screen before laughing at the sight. “i’m coming, calm down.”

“how do i defend myself? i don’t want to die,”

“press e!”

he stomped the person and attempted to run away.

“don’t worry, daddy’s home.” you said, as you took out one of your guns and shot at the player. after killing the person, you picked up eren and ran.

“why are you carrying me?” he laughed.

munkin4life: #breakinggendernorms

milesmoralesgffr: girlboss and malewife

🫧

- stream chapter!

taglist <3 : @greeniegreengreen @bakuhoes-bxtch @itzgabz22 @princess-jaeger @marsandsaturn @violenthots @roses-arerosies @conniesbbymama @llovergirlll @iheartamajiki @clipperlighter @liliorsstuff-blog @hoohoohope @akvrae @rinslutz @miniaturelunar @sheluvzeren @shigamiryuk @chamomilespetal @booistoleyou @asp7n @heartz444anna @thatartistshar0n @vintagexparker @tsukkisukkii @venusinx @seeingivy @cyberkitty1 @anitatvd

[m3ntal-hiatus]

JJK AND THEIR COFFEE ORDERS

sk8 the infinity ver. here !

nobara is definitely a frappuccino girly. love, love, loves sugar cookie flavouring, too, in a large cup with a straw because “it feels like i’m a girlboss that way.” she said it, not me.

yuuji is pretty picky with his coffee? isn’t a huge fan of it, but when he does have it, it’s a double-double accompanied by a pastry. he doesn’t adventure too far from his usual order, other than trying out a new or seasonal drink.

megumi drinks it black. straight from the beans. foul creature.

geto gives hazelnut syrup vibes… don’t worry, i will elaborate. he likes an espresso shot with latte foam art and steamed oat milk, all mixed together with two pumps of hazelnut syrup. otherwise, he’s mostly a tea person.

gojo doesn’t even want to taste the coffee’s bitter flavour… he wants it completely masked by sugar and by sugar alone. four-milk-six-sugar-in-a-medium sort of man. drinking straight candy, is what it is.

nanami was a religious coffee drinker back when he worked that 9-5, so he was not particularly partial to any coffee order if the caffeine was doing its job. as long as it didn’t taste like burnt shit water, he doesn’t care all too much. enjoys a nice café trip where he can sit and relax every now and then.

maki is a cold brew enthusiast, but also drinks it black (as in, no milk), though takes a few vanilla shots with it and another sweetener. likes the essence of the coffee taste, but mostly prefers sweetness over the bitterness.

inumaki is an avid iced coffee fan to the point where sub-arctic conditions do not daunt him. he usually rotates his order from an iced psl or mocha with maki or yuuta to order for him (for obvious reasons). he’ll down whatever size they give him. insanity.

yuuta reacts so poorly to caffeine, it’s hilarious in hindsight but i can’t help but pity him… poor boy is already anxious enough as it is, he can’t tell the difference between the coffee jitters and his usual shakiness. plus, he gets the shits. doesn’t like it, but will have one the rare occasion.

panda doesn’t drink coffee. he’s a panda.

mahito would spit it out immediately along with a vile string of profanities if he ever got the chance to even try coffee.

kenjaku (using geto) hated the idea that he was getting used to drinking something so gently-flavored and sweet. had it anyways, but would always order tea if given the choice.

[pleasingsatellite]

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift and 473,378 others

yourinstagram I’M OPENING FOR TAYLOR SWIFT?????

view all 10,373 comments

y/nfan1 OMG MY TWO FAVS IN ONE PLACE

y/nfan2 preparing for war aka ticketmaster 🫡

y/nfan3 slay my bestie is doing stadiums!!!!

harrystyles Congrats x.

↳yourinstagram OMG?

↳ y/nfan4 harry what are you doing here?

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 43,628 others

harryupdates During Harry’s recent interview with Zane Lowe Harry said he had planned to have y/n open for him during his upcoming European tour but Taylor Swift asked her before he could!

view all 7,627 comments

harryfan1 this would have been so iconic

harryfan2 sorry harry no one works faster than miss swift

harryfan3 first he’s commenting on her pics and now this? my man has a fat crush huh

yourinstagram NOT MY FAV PEOPLE BOTH WANTING ME

↳harryfan4 do you know how jealous I am of you

liked by y/nfan1, y/nfan2 and 37,628 others

y/nupdates y/n meeting fans today in London! According to the fans she met y/n talked about harry’s recent interview and said she dm’d him after and they plan to write some music together very soon!!!!

view all 3,628 comments

y/nfan1 HARRY AND Y/N WRITING TOGETHER

harryfan1 okay but I kinda ship them sorry 🤭

↳y/nfan2 …same…

y/nfan3 y/n making the first move and dming harry first what a girlboss

harryfan2 harry was late to asking her to open for him AND late to dm her first my mans needs to catch up!!

y/nfan4 she looks so pretty 🥺

liked by harrystyles, oliviarodrigo and 372,728 others

yourinstagram slid into harry’s DM’s and got a response how many of you can say that?

view all 8,637 comments

y/nfan1 STOP OMG

y/nfan2 she’s so right to brag about this

↳harryfan1 no because if that was me I’d be screaming it from the roof tops I’d tell everyone

harrystyles Nice pillow.

↳yourinstagram sorry I am going to have to block you now, you were literally never suppose to see that..

↳harrystyles If you bring it to the studio I might even sign it for you.

harryfan2 not him flirting in instagram comments who is he

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 78,628 others

harryflorals HARRY AT Y/N’S CONCERT IN LONDON TONIGHT WITH MITCH

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y/nfan1 y’all should have seen his dancing…🤭

↳harryfan1 yeah gonna need you to post that now

harryfan2 this man is in LOVE

harryfan3 he brought Mitch to get his seal of approval

harryfan4 he’s so cute and happy I love this for him

y/nfan2 y/n mentioned him during her speech she said she’s so happy to have someone extra special in the audience and that she hopes he loves the show and harry started smiling it was adorable

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 64,628 others

harrynews harry was spotted at a coffee shop today in london with y/n!

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harryfan1 ooooh okay lil coffee date

harryfan2 Deux Moi got a anon that said they over heard them talking about her new single they were writing together 👀

harryfan3 when can I say I think they’re dating and y’all not get mad at me….

↳harryfan4 they’ve def got something going on

↳harryfan4 they’re probably just friends guys, he just got out of a long relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️

liked by harrystyles, y/nfan1 and 373,629 others

yourinstagram in my “my life feels like a dream” era

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y/nfan1 trade lives with me for just a day I have a math test tomorrow and I wanna be besties with harry and taylor 🥺

↳yourinstagram I’m terrible at math or I would :(

y/nfan2 happiness looks so good on you bestie

y/nfan3 queen of selfies

harrystyles I too am in that era as well.

↳harryfan1 hell yeah you are king!!!!!!

↳yourinstagram an honor to be entering a new era alongside you 🫡

liked by harrystyles, taylorswift and 583,973 others

yourinstagram my newest single “Difficult” written by me and Mr. Harry Styles is out tomorrow I hope you love it 🫶🏻

📸 harrystyles

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harryfan1 OMG OMG OMG

y/nfan1 new music omg a slay

y/nfan2 it’s giving sad vibes and i’m here for it

harrystyles I’ll write with you anytime.

↳yourinstagram don’t tell me that cause I’ll ask you every day

↳harrystyles I’m busy tomorrow at 5 but can do any time besides that.

y/nfan3 sorry I ship it y’all they’re endgame for me

Hello!! Long time no see! Hope you enjoy this and would love some feedback 🫶🏻

[comicglitterr0909]

As a community we NEED a fic where William actually gets arrested at the end, like imagine a romantic reader x Afton thing and he confesses his love and reveals his truths, and at the end it’s like, reader was actually a cop and your under arrest, and it ends w William saying I would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling- you get it. :)

I FELT REALLY BAD FOR NOT RESPONDING TO THIS FOR AWHILE, BUT IVE BEEN RLLY BUSY WITH WORK AND SCHOOL. SO THIS IS THE FIRST PART, IM MAKING THE SECOND PART RN AND I LEFT YOU ON A SMALL CLIFFHANGER RN ITS OKAY THOUGH. ALSO ITS ALREADY 2.9k+ WORDS SO I NEED A PART 2.

No because that's such a good idea though too and even though I’m a massive simp for William I think he definitely needs to be humbled. THE MANIPULATOR GETS MANIPULATED WHILE ALSO READER KINDA SIMPING FOR HIM IDK I COULDNT HELP IT it still ends the way u want though >:)

Also I'm naming this "Playing with Shadows" idk it feels right.

Stuff to know: Cursing, a lil obsessiveness, reader following “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” mentality, reader is an fbi agent cuz idk felt like it, kind of a more creepy tone to it, this is taken place before Freddy’s is abandoned and before any of Williams kids die, but his wife is gone cause shes not important >:D

Being an FBI agent, you get your fair share or surprising things that you see. And when I got assigned to go to a small town in Utah, investigating a pizzeria, I’d say it was surprising, but that would be the least of my concerns. After arriving there, I was finally informed on what my entire job would be for the next 3 to 4 months. 

My boss takes me into a private room, I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a file, his eyes graze over it until he sighs looking back at me. “Agent y/ln. Your job is complicated, I won't lie to you. It will be an extreme mental challenge, but you're the best to do this.”

“You must first get a job interview with a man named William Afton. He is the owner of a restaurant named Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. After you get the interview you must also get the job, as a waitress there. Simple enough, but then, you will have to seduce him. That's the tough part, we believe he is responsible for the murder of 6 or more kids. We chose you not only from your skill set, but also because you look very similar to his ex-wife. He has 3 children, if you start getting along with them it might seem more attractive to him, your main goal. Get him to fall so in love with you, that he confesses the murders.” 

And with that the case that would affect me more than any other, starts.

The day of the interview, it's pouring down rain outside, there are only a few cars parked outside of Freddy’s, the sound of music can be heard from outside. I walk up to the door, opening it, my eyes scanning the room. There isn’t much, it is a tuesday though, the first things I see are two parents trying to get one of their kids to leave, and the second is the giant ass animatronics on stage, well 3 of them are on stage, another fox looking one is playing with a kid. Well it would have been nice if they told me about some creepy animatronics but whatever. After looking around for a few seconds a man approaches me, he’s tall, probably 6 '4 or 6' 5, with glasses. “William Afton, you must be y/n y/ln, here for the interview?” He says to me, offering his hand for me to shake. My boss never told me what he looked like, they tried not to tell me anything about him, they thought that it would be too suspicious for the highly intelligent serial killer if I accidentally slipped up and said something about something I “didn’t” know. Either way I return the smile, shaking his hand firmly.

“Yes that's correct, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Y’know if you ignore the fact that he is probably a psychotic, narcissistic, serial killer, then he’s actually really hot. At least it wouldn’t be that repulsive seducing him. “Follow me then and we’ll get the interview started.” I take the chance to glance around the place once more, noticing his eldest son, Micheal, leaning against the wall rolling his eyes at his brother who was crying. The fbi showed me pictures of the children so I knew which ones to try and interact with. I followed him into his office, seeing only one family photo, it had his ex-wife in it, I do actually look a lot like her, huh. 

He motions me to sit in the chair in front of his desk, while walking to sit on his own. “So y/n, tell me what brings you here for the interview? Why here?” Oh right, what was I supposed to say, shit I forgot, good thing I was in theater as a kid, improvise. “Well, I really love the atmosphere of this place, even though being a waitress isn’t everyone's dream job, I think for now it would be a safe and fun job to have. I also am really good with kids so it's a plus to have them around.” Hell yeah theater kids for the win. He nods at my answer, thinking for a bit then writing something in a notepad he has, I see his gaze focus on the picture of his wife and kids then back at me, he narrows his eyes. Oh he definitely caught onto the similarities in our looks. 

“Y’know what y/n, I think I’m just getting a really good feeling about you, how soon can you start?” Either my improv is so good I should retire fbi and become an actor. Or the plan is working insanely well, and he misses his ex wife so much that having me around could take his mind off it. I really wish it was the first option, it's definitely the second. “Wow! Thank you so much sir! I can start tomorrow if that’d work?” He grins standing out of his chair, I do the same and shake his hand again. “Sounds perfect.” He walks me out of the building, his hand on my shoulder, to most it would be a friendly gesture. But when you know the blood that's been on his hands, you can’t help but have chills running down your spine. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n” He says, his eyes looking straight at me, it was terrifying because when I looked back into his eyes I saw nothing, but it felt like he could see everything in my eyes. I force a smile, waving and quickly walking to my car, driving away to my little apartment. I could barely sleep, my mind kept returning to the same look in his eyes, the same way a lion looks at its prey. I’m an FBI agent, I shouldn’t be this shaken by another murderer, but it just felt different, almost out of this world in some weird way, I guess it just didn’t feel real. But it was. And that’s the scary part. The other scary part was the feeling of being watched, I knew that my FBI friends were watching on cameras, only checking on me with texts, just in case William was stalking me. And that's what it felt like, the feeling of someone watching me, but I couldn’t do anything about it, I was supposed to encourage it actually. This is my job anyways, I’m safe and I’m not going to let some ,oddly attractive now that i think about it, creep scare me. So after giving myself a pep talk I was finally able to get some needed sleep. 

I woke up to the annoying ass alarm going crazy, I immediately shut it off, it was a mental battle to not just go back to sleep. When I got out of bed, the feeling of being watched was gone, which told me that William was most likely watching me last night, never gonna get used to that. After I get ready, put on the mini mic that records any conversations I have, and make myself look like a potential murderers ex wife, I head out the door, ready to start my “new job” at a totally wholesome children's place.

When I get there and walk through the doors I notice William was waiting for me, he smiles welcomely and pats my back. “y/n! So great to see you, are you ready to start your new job?” I smile back at him, at least it seems like he's in a good mood today, not a creepy kill all mood. No wait, he’s still probably in that mood. “Yeah, I’m really excited, thank you again for hiring me, I appreciate so, so much Mr Afton.” “Ah, you're welcome! I think you’ll be a great addition to have around.” He leads me towards the kitchen where a sleep deprived male teen who looks like he’s high, (he is) is lazily defrosting pizza dough and another worker, some 60 year old Betty is cutting and putting ingredients into containers. Basic pizza prep. When I walk into the kitchen, Williams hands still on my back, the 60 year old looks up and HARD glares at me. Bitch. I think Wiliam saw how hard Betty or whatever was glaring at me, so he tries to lift the mood. “Bethenny, Aaron, this is y/n, they are our new waitress so you don’t have to keep bringing the food out yourselves!” Bethenny, I was close enough. She looks more like the child murderer. “Hey.” Aaron says, even though he’s high, he looks pretty nice, he’s smiling at me. I wave at him politely while Bitcheny is still glaring at me, not saying a word. “Alright team! Well get to know each other cause y/n’s gonna be here awhile!” That's condescending, oh well. I try to be nice and smile at Bigassbetty and she has no reaction besides looking away and going back to chopping up vegetables. William finally takes his hands off my back and says good luck while walking back to his office. “Hey… guess I should introduce myself, my name is Aaron, it's nice to meet you.” Aaron says coming up to me with a friendly (high) smile. I greet him, trying to be friendly, and trying not to be repulsed by the strong smell of vape coming off of him. “Hey, i’m y/n, it's nice to see a *friendly* face.” I say, glaring at Betty while saying friendly. “Oh haha yeah, don’t mind her, she's just some grumpy bitch.” I laugh with him and Bethenny rolls her eyes.  We keep talking for a bit while I try to help prep the kitchen before Freddy’s opens. Once it does, a surprising amount of kids come in, even more surprising because it's Wednesday. 

Food quickly starts getting made, along with kids screaming and laughing and running around. I bring my first pizza order over to a table, smiling nicely at anyone who looks at me, getting mostly smiles back. A few hours pass and I finally get to hang out . It's not that hard, it's just bringing food to people and trying not to kick children who get in your way. As I’m bringing food to a table I notice a woman who looks a lot like me walk in with three kids, pushing them in with an even more bitchy look than Bethenny and leaving. Oh shit, those are Aftons kids. I put the pizza down, checking my watch, perfect timing, I'm on break now, which means I need to try and interact with the kids. I got a little information on some of the kids, I know Micheal is the oldest, he's a punk and a rebel, and he’d probably follow me around like a lost puppy if I offered him a smoke and talked to him about star wars, easy enough. Evan hates Freddy’s, so I’d probably need to comfort him and try to calm him down, make him laugh and cheer him up. Then Elizabeth, I could probably act like I found a barbie and give it to her saying “I couldn’t find the owner.” All pretty easy, hopefully. 

I decided to try and talk to Micheal first. I figured if the other siblings saw him laughing and talking to me, it would make it easier to talk to them. I waited for Micheal to get tired of his crying brother, as he walked outside. I quickly grab a smoke from my bag and head outside, I see William watch me with an intimidating grin as I wave at him and go outside. Once I get out their Micheal is already side-eyeing me, obviously suspicious and wary if I would snitch on him for smoking, that's until I pull out my own and quickly light it, I glance at him seeing his suspicion fall and his face become more relaxed. I noticed he doesn’t his lighter isn’t working, great for me. “Need me to light it for ya?” I say smiling at him, offering my lighter. He grins and nods. “Yeah, thanks” I nod and cup my hands over his cigarette, quickly lighting it as we both stand outside silently smoking. “So you're the new waitress here right?” I’m glad he started the conversation, to be honest I had no clue what to say. “Yeah, just got here today, I’d say it's going pretty well.” He chuckles while taking a puff of his cigarette. “Hah, just wait till the weekend, it's like hell, way too many kids in one spot.” I grin, “It gets worse than this?!” I say jokingly as we both laugh a bit, I see he has a star wars shirt on. “Who’s your favorite star wars character?” He smiles wide, clearly excited to talk about it. “Oh definitely Anakin, what's your Princess Leia or something?” He jokes. “Hell no (your fav star wars character)  is where it's at.” (If it's Princess Leia, sorry lmao). We stay out there for 10 minutes until we walk back inside, discarding the smokes, and continuing to argue about star wars while inside, which is good because William sees me talking and laughing with him. After my break ends I go back to working, occasionally stopping to talk to Micheal, and like I said he’s basically following me around all day. At the end of the day, I help clean up the kitchen a bit, the only three kids left are Aftons. Micheal looks like he’s waiting for me, clearly already attached to me, guess I’m good at my job. I can’t help but feel bad though, if we do catch William, these kids will hate me. It's all a part of the job. I finish cleaning walking out where William greets me with a big smile, I kinda wanna see what he looks like when hes not smiling, because its really fucking creepy that I haven’t seen him do anything but smile. “Y/N! You did great today, I was right, you make a perfect fit!” I see Micheal nod in agreement, William also sees that, somehow he seems even more happy and smiley than just a moment ago. “Ah I see you have met my brilliant son Micheal! He’s quite the kid eh?” God he really is obsessed with trying to make me their new mom. “Yeah well he certainly knows way too much about star wars.” I joke, Micheals face heats up with embarrassment. “Hey! I can like things!” He laughs and I laugh with him, William doesn’t take his eyes off me, he looks like he’s thinking, deciding something, and whatever it is, is about me.

The smallest son then comes up to me, Evan, and just holds onto my leg, wrapping his arms and legs around my leg. I raise an eyebrow and awkwardly laugh, not knowing what to do. Micheal starts laughing really hard, and William is chuckling. “Evan, let's get off of y/n now eh kid, they’ve got places to be.” Evan pouts and holds tighter onto my leg. That's when I start laughing, Elizabeth grins evilly and takes the chance to run over and grab my other leg. William and Micheal start to try and pry them off of me, we are all laughing. Like a family. I lose my balance and stumble back, falling, the kids both instinctively let go so they don't get hurt, before I can fall on the floor William catches me.

Look I know he’s a child murder but with a 6 '4 sexy tumblrman catching me like that, I'm gonna blush a little. And he lifted me back up like it was nothing, I love a strong man. WOAH pause, I am not gonna fall for a killer. Wait, there is still a small chance this could be a misunderstanding, no, I have to remember how creepy he is, like I get bad vibes from him. Then again I get bad vibes from all men. “You alright y/n” Oh shit right, I forgot where I was for a moment. “Yeah haha, thanks, at least we got them off right?” I grin and laugh with them all. Evan tugs on William's pant leg, motioning for him to bend down so Evan can whisper something to him, William does so. He starts laughing and stands back up. “Evan was wondering if you wanted to come have dinner with us sometime.” I smile and nod. “I would love to!” The family lights up, all of them smiling. “How about tomorrow, can’t you just close Freddy’s a bit earlier Dad?” Micheal suggests. “That's a great idea kiddo, how does that sound to you y/n?” The plan is working perfectly. Well, almost perfectly, I’m getting attached to this family, even the guy who might be a murderer. I part of me is wishing, that its all a misunderstanding, that some other fucked up guy killed or took those kids, that this family is perfectly fine and I could fit right in. But the other part of me knows I need to stick to the job, and that fucking sucks. 

“That works perfectly, I will see you all tomorrow!”

And with that I wave goodbye to the Afton family, before driving back to my apartment, staring at the ceiling before somehow falling asleep. 

ALRIGHT GUYS ILL TRY AND GET PART 2 OUT ASAP 😭

[adragonsfriend]

Reading Darth Plagueis,

by James Luceno.

Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.

———

“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis

Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder

———

Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*

———

Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW

A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard

Plagueis, a literal wizard:

———

Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name

Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,

Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something

———

*at the evil rich people party*

"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"

I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him

———

Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:

Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species

His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad

———

omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect

———

Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes

———

Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?

Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?

Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order

Gunray: ur a cleric?

Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"

Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes

———

Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back

Palpatine: *listening attentively*

———

Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill

Sidious:

Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—

———

Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.

———

Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me

———

Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.

———

Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master

Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”

———

“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”

This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present

———

Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*

I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Spoiling You With All My Might -- Comte Collection Story Translation

I've been meaning to post this one for a while, as it's honestly in my top ten Comte events of all time. For this Collection story event, it was basically all the suitors comforting MC when she's stressed/tired/overworked. And lbr, who doesn't need that in their life?

Enjoy everyone, and just a reminder that I'm no professional--I just translate these for my own enjoyment. Without further ado:

In the early afternoon, when the hands on the clock are pointing to 3pm-- I was alone drinking tea in a quiet kitchen. (I’ve been busy lately…I think I’m a little burnt out.) My cup of tea was already empty, but somehow I didn’t have the energy to stand up-- Comte: MC, are you taking a break? Turning around revealed Comte standing in the middle of the doorway.

Okay but like. I gotta say just the thought of him peeking around the corner is killing me, he's the cutest man alive I swear

But also. Now I'm wondering if he's lowkey like IS IT MEOW MEOW TIME? MEOW MEOW T I M E!!!!!! pounces on the opportunity for quality time. Somehow that's even more adorable I'm going to explode from uwus

MC: Indeed I am. Would you like to have some tea, too? Comte: That’s an attractive invitation, but if you don’t mind, would you spend some time with me for a little while after this? MC: Go out with you…? Comte: I’m thinking of going for a walk. Would you like to join me? His hand was outstretched in a gentlemanly gesture that touched/eased my heart. MC: Haha, I’d love to.

I laughed a little at this because I'm definitely the kind of person that's like "omg pls, you are not beating the silly goose allegations!!!" over him being all suave over a walk together but. At the same time. HEART EYES M-- King of romantics everywhere. Gentleman of my heart. Mellifluous seducer have MERCY

More under the cut!

Comte’s escort led me to a forest a short walking distance from the mansion. As I walk alongside him, the sunbeams penetrate through the trees as they sway with the breeze. Comte: The weather is lovely today, making it a perfect occasion for a walk. MC: You’re right…the wind feels nice, too. As I walked slowly listening to the rustling trees, I could feel the fatigue/tension draining out of me little by little. (It feels like my heart is being cleansed. It’s so soothing…) Comte: … It was then that I noticed Comte gazing at me calmly.

As somebody who used to be plus ultra literally every minute of my life, this made me so softe inside. The way he cares so much about her ;-; he really said "I will die before I disrespect a girlboss, but also. I am here. For to help PLS. Also a crumb of attention...p l swleseskje...."

(Ah…by any chance) MC: Comte Comte: Yes? MC: …You invited me out for a change of pace, didn’t you? Comte smiled softly at my words. Comte: I just wanted to take a walk with you like this.

I do love how, especially in recent events, MC notices his gestures more and more 🥺💛💛💛💛💛💛 I think it's really cute that he wants to be sneaky sweet and supportive, and whenever she realizes it he's like. C'est moi? You're not fooling anyone pretty boy!!! I know you have brain cells up there!!! But also the sincerity in that last line, of how he really does also just want to spend some time with her. How he's always saying the most wonderful thing she can give him is her time.

Just put my body out to sea I can't do this anymore--

I was enveloped in the sound of his voice, warming my heart, and my feet stopped involuntarily. Comte: MC? MC: Every time you treat me so kindly like this…I’m so happy I could cry Jokingly, Comte turned around and spread his coat. Comte: If you want to do so, that’s okay too MC: Huh… Comte: After all, there is no one here but us. If you want to cry, you can cry. Comte wrapped me gently in his open coat and murmured in my ear. Comte: Like this, there will be no trace of tears left behind. MC: Oh… (It’s okay to cry…that’s not something you hear very often when you’re fully grown.) (Just hearing him say that in such a sweet voice makes my heart feel lighter…) (Comte really is amazing)

Honestly this part just made me melt, I have no words--I'm down bad fellas. We love a man who encourages his partner that its safe to be vulnerable 😭🙏🏼

But also I feel the need to say. Comte don't offer this to me because from that point on I will live in your coat. It will no longer be 'Comte's nice coat,' but rather:

MC: Thank you. But…Aren’t you spoiling me too much? When I looked up and asked him, he leaned over to drop a kiss to my forehead… MC: Oh… Comte: I see. I think I don’t spoil you enough. Comte’s long fingers reached out to wipe my eyes gently. Comte: MC, I love everything about you. Comte: Your fatigue and your tears, don’t forget that it’s my privilege to soothe them with these hands. He gazes deeply into my eyes, and I can’t help how my heart races in response.

So like. Do you ever just cry and die. Because.

I'm like somewhere between "WE GOT A 2319!!!!!!!!!" and inches from professing my eternal love and loyalty like some kind of lovelorn knight too afraid to even touch the radiance of their beloved. Comte how on earth am I supposed to look at you without being blinded. Sun that's too bright!!!!! That's too b r i g h t!

I just. "Your fatigue and your tears, don’t forget that it’s my privilege to soothe them with these hands." [muffled wailing noises] Did I ASK--

Mfer out here like 'oh the terrible fate of being tied to me for eternity' meanwhile every second of being with him is either dizzyingly passionate or like being wrapped up in the warmest, fluffiest blankie imaginable. I HAVE TO S T A N SIR--

MC: Ah, if you spoil me so much, I’m afraid I won’t be able to do anything on my own anymore. Comte smiled a little as I laughed deceptively in the hopes of hiding how delighted I was. Comte: That’s great. I’d love to see that, myself. The fingers that had been stroking my eyes slipped down my cheek to touch my lips. Comte: If you can’t manage to walk alone--I’ll be there to hold you up, and walk alongside you. His sweet whisper ends when his lips gently cover mine. MC: Mn… In the midst of his enveloping kiss, I gently entrusted my body to the person dearest to me--

Can I just ?????? Say????? How much I love MC being teasing/catty with him as the events go on. I LOVE it here. I think I really like how she grows into her own strength, and how she feels comfortable expressing her shyness without ceding that integrity. One thing I've noticed that I love in relationships is this ability to air grievances in a playful way, where the stakes are low--but the person can still express their feelings and be comforted. I think I like how it's not about putting pressure on the person, but getting it out in the open and resolved all the same. It just fills me with warm fuzzies c:

Also. "If you can’t manage to walk alone--I’ll be there to hold you up, and walk alongside you." Like not to beat a dead horse, but wow. Pretty sure this metaphysically changed me as a person. Thanks, I will never be the same. True love exists, [unhinged barking noises], etc etc

[braxiatel]

Goodtimeswithscar is a sexyman and I will prove it to you

If you are still on the fence I encourage you to look at the sexypedia - a wikipedia dedicated to tumblr sexymen - and checking out their tropes page. Scar meets 35/62 on a list where recent winner of the tumblr sexyman poll Cecil Palmer of WTNW fame only has 8 listed on his character page!

35!

Scar is Textbook, and if you need proof I have gone through all the tropes and explained why they apply to him!

VOTE SCAR!

4th Wall Blurring: This one is arguable due to the nature of the medium but I’ll include it

Animal Theming: See: animal hybrid headcanons and designs. Cat Scar, panda Scar, hyena Scar, avian Scar - they’re everywhere!

Angst: That cactus ring… magic mountain. need I say more? This boy has angst. 

Bait: *gestures at the shirtless skins*

Capitalist: she sells sea shells on the sea shore but the value of these shells will fall due to the laws of supply and demand no one wants to buy shells cause there’s loads on the sand step one you must create a sense of scarcity 

Chaoslord: HotGuy! [snipes you for no good reason]

Criminal: shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare you see bear with me take as many shells as you can find and hide them on an island stockpile them high until they’re rarer than the price of diamond

Con Artist: step two gotta make the people think that they want them really fucking want them hit ‘em like Bronson influencers product placement if you haven’t got a shell then you’re just a fucking waste man

Dealmaker: three it’s monopoly invest inside some property start a corporation make a logo do it properly shells must sell that will be your new philosophy swallow all your morals they’re a poor man’s quality

Distinctive Voice: I do not need to make any arguments here. Have you heard him???

Quotable Catchphrase(s): well hello there, scarred for life, “a-ma-zing”, etc.

Distinctive Laugh: I think I autism stole Scar’s laughter (whoops) so I’m giving him this one too, but also that gigle is just very good and we all know it, right?

Dominating: from the trope description: “Characters who assert their power over others. Could be through manipulation, magic, smugness, or force of personality.” Yes. 

Duality: Convex did not put their whole entire vexussies into that possession storyline for us to forget about it. 

Egotistical: This one is arguable and a question of characterisation, but I think that we can all agree that on some levels, yes. 

Eldritch: From the trope description: “Since the typical sexyman is a tall mostly human looking pale twink, in a vast majority of the cases the eldritch is a heavy implication lying just under the surface.” Hello? Vex Scar?? 

Gay: See subsection: 

LGBTQ+ Coded: That cactus ring. Mumbo “eye candy” Jumbo. The season 7 mayoral race. Concorp. His jolly rancher arc. This man has so many boyfriends. 

Girlboss: listen I think a lot of characters who aren’t traditional girlbosses get called so, but with Scar I think it’s accurate okay. Did Scar utilize girl power effectively when he and Cub were blatant war profetiers during the season 6 civil war? yes. Absolutely. Girlboss. 

Glowing Neon: vex blue anyone?

Hot-headed: Don’t let his calm exterior fool you. Remember. Scar when someone steals his horse: *sets their whole entire house on fire*. 

Intelligence: yes but also see subsection

Smartdumb: Okay listen. Scar is Smart. Scar is very smart. And I specifically have to make sure you know I am talking character only here because cc!Scar seems to me to be a Very intelligent person with a wide field of knowledge. But uhm. c!Scar dies so much and so often in ways that are completely unavoidable. He does silly things without thinking of the consequences. I have seen enough people calling him a himbo (beloathed term) enough times that I do not need to argue this point. He is smart but also babygirl Why are you like this.

Johnlocked: “When two characters are shipped extensively by fans despite the pairing not necessarily being canon (or even present) in the original work.” it started out with a cactus ring how did it end up like this, it was only a cactus ring, it was only a cactus ring

Knifemurder: Hotguy! [snipes you a second time] 

Magnificent Bastard: This Is The Whole Point. Scar oozes charisma even when he is the villain and that’s why he is so beloved. He is smart, he is stylish, he is charming, even while he is killng you. This is the point. 

Marked Canon/Fanon Divergence: “Sexymen with a large gap between how they are in the original work (Canon) and how they are commonly portrayed in fanworks (Fanon)” see : the fake crystals vs Scar actually having magic, the abs being painted on vs shirtless Scar everywhere, etc.

Monster Features: vex scar vex scar vex scar

Nonhuman: like the vex thing is literally canon it’s not fanon those cons sure did vex 

Pale Twink: We could have done many things with this collection of blocks people, and yet my dash is full of shirtless twinks/twunks every day ending with a y. Curious. 

Perpetual Smiler: Okay listen this is partially the nature of the medium but also 1) that is a distinctive smile and 2) have you see the fanworks? 

Power: This man tried to sell fake magic crystals and we all just decided he can do magic. He was an elf once and now fae/elf Scar headcanons are everywhere. 

Scars: I- I’m not explaining myself here. yes??? 

Tall: I can think of one, maybe two portrayals of Scar that have made him short. 

Theme Song: four expand, expand, expand clear forest make land fresh blood on hands five why just shells why limit yourself she sells seashells sell oil as well six guns sell stocks sell diamonds sell rocks sell water to a fish sell the time to a clock seven press on the gas take your foot off the brakes then run to be the president of the united states eight big smile mate big wave that's great now the truth is overrated tell lies out the gate nine polarise the people controversy is the game it don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name ten the world is yours step out on a stage to a round of applause uou're a liar a cheat a devil a whore and you sell seashells on the seashore

Unkempt: so those rugged life series Scars, huh? 

Villain: Scar has been the villain several times and has a Long list of crimes to his name

Technically Antagonist: see 3rd life

Villain Protagonist: unreliable narrator Scar my beloved. I love how he just *does terrible things edited to make him look like he’s just a silly little guy having some harmless fun*

Well-Dressed: Hmmm I wonder why waggon/tycoon Scar routinely wins every Scar skin poll. Also he has enough outfits to include these sub categories too: 

Suitguy: “Characters who typically wear formalwear, specifically suits. Often includes waistcoats, top hats, bowties, and pinstripes. Other neckwear may also be worn.” Again. The tycoon skin really lives rent free in all out minds, huh?

Long Coat/Cape/Robe/Etc: bathrobe wizard Scar my beloved but also do you know how many thirst trap last life Scars I’ve seen?? 

White Twink Humanization: He is made out of blocks in canon. We did not need to make him like this and yet we did. 

White Hair: last life Scar beloved by many <3

VOTE SCAR!