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yesimwriting · 1 year

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Pulling Away

A/n did i write smut for once? yeah. also timeline wise is this perfectly accurate? it’s iffy,, but this fic isn’t about the plot too much so it’s okay

Summary: You’re not the only one that’s feeling a little territorial thanks to the influx of people you’re around in Jackson.

warnings: 18+, implied age gap, no condom, a tiny bit manipulative if you squint, brief mention of losing virginity.

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He’s not a force of nature, no matter how hard he might pretend to be for the sake of those around him. Joel can’t actually change anything. So the shift in temperature you feel as Joel stills has to be a byproduct of what’s in your head.

The kind of burning cold that better fits a fever runs through you and you hate yourself for it. This isn’t the first time you’ve been delusional when it comes to him.

You’re working off of a quarter of his face against low lighting. It doesn’t make sense for you to be able to feel so much from the little of him that you can see. It’s not anger. Or at least, not just that. There’s definitely a subdued rage radiating from him, but it’s undercut by something that punches you straight in the gut.

Maybe you’re being a little unfair, but you have a right to it at this point. You can’t follow him around blindly like some kind of puppy forever. Especially now that you’re both settled enough to be able to think of things outside of pure survival.

“Ellie’s asleep.” A flat observation that you can’t explain. Maybe it’s the need to break the silence, or maybe it’s a genuine attempt at making things feel normal. You two should still be able to talk. You never wanted that to end. “Swore she wasn’t tired, but passed out as soon as her head touched the mattress.”

Joel lets out a small sound from the back of his throat. It’s a spike in the atmosphere. “Think I’m gonna go to bed, too.” You don’t understand your awkwardness or the urge to create distance. It’s not like Joel would hurt you, but then again, the buzz of adrenaline doesn’t seem to be coming from a place of fear. It’s an uneasy burning that worsens when you raise your eyes enough to meet his. “Night.”

The one word is a little better and somehow so much worse. Not aggressive or trying to make things better. It’s just there. Civil.

When he says nothing, you take it as your sign to call it a night. Tomorrow could be better. Sure, your rocky dynamic might be going through growing pains while you set boundaries that should have been established long ago, but you’ll likely survive this. You’re all staying together in the same house in Jackson for the time being and you both care too much about Ellie to separate over something small.

Even if Joel won’t directly admit to it, the part of your relationship that feels like co-parenting is sacred. That’s part of the reason why the feelings you’ve been fighting with yourself to dismantle are so complicated. He cares about Ellie more than he wants to admit and the last thing you need right now is to tear away the little stability she’s finally been given. Not over a few awkward conversations and stiff moments.

The weird irony that vaguely reflects the issues of the world before isn’t lost on you. If someone were to squint at the situation, you’d seem like a wife trapped in a marriage for the sake of her children. Maybe if it was happening to someone else you’d have enough energy to find it funny.

You turn carefully, like a too loud squeak of your shoes could be what snaps the thinning thread tying you two to a hint of casualness. You don’t need to pass him to get to where you’re sleeping. The three of you had been set up in a space that allowed for each person to have their own room. It’s like that in theory, but in practice it’s more like Ellie’s room, Joel’s room, and the spare.

A comfortable enough bedroom that you’ve maybe spent the entire night alone in twice in the weeks you’ve been here. You can’t even pretend that you keep the few things you own in there either. Joel’s an even lighter traveler than you, so slowly your items made their way into the drawers in his room. Now, your room is basically just where you go to change into and out of sleepwear.

You’ll get used to it, used to the draft that originally led to you giving up on rocky sleep the first night you ended up sleeping next to Joel. Your dreams kept you up even more than the cold, but when Joel’s drowsy voice called out to you in the dark, asking why you were awake, you blamed the night’s chill. That’s how it first happened.

It was a mistake you should have never let turn into habit. You’re correcting it now. Setting boundaries to prevent heartbreak. It’s only a matter of time considering the way the women here look at him.

“Since when do you sleep in there?”

His voice is so gruff it instinctually freezes you. Any sarcastic comment at the back of your throat vanishes immediately. The both of you are fully aware of how you end up each night, but it’s a boundary in itself not to mention it. You’re not sure if it’s more him or you, but what happens at night and early in the morning is never mentioned.

It’s a dip into another reality. A space where Joel’s a little lighter, almost more open. Sometimes he’ll drag your arm with him when he moves onto his side, a silent way of asking you to stay close. On the best nights, he’ll joke about it, letting your limbs meld together under a blanket and swear he’s just trying to keep you warm out of the kindness of his heart.

His humor is the worst. The kind that some might justify as a result of years of it being at a stalemate for years considering the tragic state of the world, but you know better. They’re the kind of jokes that take a second to settle because of his general exterior, but are meant to be so dumb they force out a smile. In another life, the little comments are dad jokes.

The peace bleeds into the mornings now, he’ll keep the closeness and remind you that you don’t have to get up immediately by mumbling something about Ellie still being asleep. Like she’s the only thing significant enough to get you two to return to reality.

You’re convinced that these moments exist because neither of you mention them. He’s crossing a line you didn’t realize meant so much to you and he’s being dramatic it, too. It’s not the rarest thing for you to ‘attempt’ to sleep in your own bed. Sure, you’re more likely to lay in that room for a few hours on nights where Ellie stays up a little later, but this isn’t the strangest thing you’ve done.

He’s ripping any chance of returning to that separate world away from you. It stings more than it should. “Thought I’d give it a try,” you voice is too low, too defensive, “It’s not a big deal.”

The defense sounds so weak in your own ears, you don’t even want to imagine what he took from it. “Bullshit.”

His voice comes out in such a low huff you feel it more than hear it. If the sound had felt any less dangerous, you would have pretended to mistake it for another wordless grunt. Your lips part slowly as your mind struggles to create any kind of logical response.

Pretending is clearly getting you nowhere. The only reason you ever pretended it would was pure delusion. Joel has always been able to see through you, through any shift in mood. Even when your lies are better, his ability to sense them is uncanny.

He turns with no warning. Joel crosses the space between you before you can even fully register his steps. Your body tenses as heat rushes to your face in result of an oddly charged parody of fight or flight. You almost step back, one heel shifting back, but then you meet his gaze and the determined glint behind his eye is enough to melt you into place.

There’s something else there, too. A focus that pins you into place even further. Holds you there better than the barrel of a pistol could.

The absurdity of the warmth rooted in your chest should be enough to make the feeling go away. It doesn’t, so you force your lips to part again. You need to say something. Anything. “Joel?” Not that. Not just his name in a voice that feels violently small.

“You’re pullin’ away.”

The accusation in his voice leaves no room for argument. You try anyways, “No.” The rest of your thoughts can’t come out while you’re looking at him at the same time. There’s shame in dropping your gaze to focus on your shoes and the little space between you. “It’s not like that.”

Joel lets out a low sound. The creak of the floor as he steps forward again snaps you out of your trance. You step back in a desperate attempt to keep the space between the two of you equal. Your back hits the wall before you can come close to achieving your goal. It’s a knee jerk reaction that leaves your face feeling even warmer than before. A part of you expects Joel to laugh at the sound or at least comment on it. He doesn’t. He continues forward until his mouth is so close to your ear the warmth of his breath lingers when he exhales.

He takes a second there, relishing in your stillness. “Don’t lie to me.” Joel pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. “You don’t want to talk to me, you’re talkin’ about leavin’.” The southern drawl of his voice is increasing with his frustration. It’s distracting in a way that feels too convenient. Like he’s doing this on purpose.

You swallow once. “You found your brother. I have a sister out there, I’d--I think now that things are more settled with Ellie it wouldn’t be the worst thing for me to look for her.”

“And you don’t want us goin’ with you, but you’re more than willing to let the guy that’s always lookin’ at you--”

“Oh my god, is that what this is about?” You are insane. Of course his issue is who mentioned it. John knows travel, leaves Jackson and comes back in one piece when he needs to. He wouldn’t be the worst person to have with you if you did want to start a rudimentary search for your sister. “I didn’t make any plans with John, it just came up.”

“You don’t want us goin’ with you.”

Your throat feels dry. The thought of it makes you feel cold. You haven’t seen your sister in a few years and so much has changed. You’re no longer in the QZ and your sister has no way of knowing that. She can’t reach out if there’s trouble or good news and she has no reason to assume that you’re safe. You know where she lives, and if she’s not there, you know a few of her usual spots. She doesn’t typically stray too far from her bubble. It wouldn’t be a long trip, just long enough.

Long enough to give you some space. Long enough to remember what it’s like to not be around Joel all the time. Long enough to feel less about him.

And you’d come back. You wouldn’t just walk out of his life and Ellie’s forever. The little bit of space you’re trying to get would make it easier for you to stick around in the long run because it’s the only way you can think to get rid of the feelings that are trying to ruin everything.

“We haven’t been here that long and Ellie’s finally starting to feel settled. I don’t want to drag her out of that yet and make her feel like her entire life is just going to be her being dragged around the country.”

Your words are a jumble, rushed together in a way that makes the honesty of them less effective. It’s a good point. Ellie just called her room hers the other day and even asked about moving the bed against a different wall.

Joel lets out a low breath, eyes hardening. “You’re right. She’s settlin’ and she needs you.” He knows he’s hit his mark when you don’t respond. “How do you think she’s gonna take the news that you’re leaving?”

“Leaving to visit my sister.” You struggle to swallow. “Temporarily. It’ll take less than two weeks.”

His lips pull into a frown as his eyebrows together. Moody and brooding. The look you’ve openly referred to as his old man scowl. “With John.”

Ugh. This again. Why does it matter? Yes, John will be there, but it’s not like it’s just you and John. Your sister isn’t that far and she has access to supplies that aren’t common, she has an understanding with people that have easy access to medical supplies.

But even if it was just you and John, it doesn’t matter. There are a lot of areas in which you factor in Joel’s opinion, but this is definitely not one of them. You two aren’t together and with the way he does nothing to show any discontent when the girls here start to look at him, he definitely doesn’t need you keeping his bed warm at night.

“If I go, he wouldn’t be the only one there.” The fact that you’re trying to justify John’s presence leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re a grown woman, free to associate with whoever you want. You might jokingly call him your old man from time to time, but he has no right. “And if even if he was, what does it matter?”

His jaw locks and the downwards tilt of his chin erases the little bit of confidence you’ve managed to build. “You’ve seen the way that boy looks at you.”

You have to bite your tongue to avoid from blurting out that he’s also seen the way majority of the women you see on a daily basis look at him. Joel’s also exaggerating. John does not have any feelings for you, and if he did, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like you see John as anything more than a friend. But even if you did--it is not his business. At all.

“He doesn’t.” There’s little point in saying that, Joel’s not one to have his mind so easily swayed and he’s been wary of John since the beginning. Sometimes it even feels like the more you insist that he’s a good friend, the more Joel seems to dislike him. “And if he did, it doesn’t matter.”

Your words feel like a retreat they shouldn’t need to be. Small, the meaning of the sentence compacted and straining against the limited syllables. A part of you expects Joel to understand what you do mean. That it doesn’t matter because it takes two interested parties to form any kind of relationship. That your mind isn’t even there in terms of feeling safe...that the only person who has ever made you feel safe enough to imagine anything beyond friendship is right in front of you.

For the first time, Joel doesn’t pick up on the relevance of what isn’t said. You can feel his lack of understanding in the way he moves, placing one hand on the wall, near your head. You blink, trying in vain to explain the motion, explain his proximity. He’s caging you in.

The heat of his body is practically inescapable, amplified by the way he smells. Joel showered a little earlier, his natural scent combining pleasantly with that of plain soap. After so many nights next to him, you would think you would have developed a tolerance. You haven’t. And even if you did, you doubt it’d matter...this is different. Dizzying.

“Doesn’t matter?”

He’s somehow even closer and somehow not touching you. The realization that that’s the worst part of this leaves your stomach fluttering. You need the feeling gone, so you force out the first words that come to mind, “It matters as much as all the girls that look at you like that.”

It feels more bitter than it comes out, leaving a metallic taste on your tongue. You need out. You need space. You need sleep. Joel’s silence feels like opportunity, so as subtly as you can you try to shift away from the wall. Your back is off the wall for less than a second before you’re pushed back against it.

Your body hits the wall before you can realize that Joel’s hand is on your hip. There’s too much surprise for that fact to settle, so you look up at him almost bewildered. You expect him to let go or at least look somewhat apologetic. He does the opposite, moving the hand on the wall under your jaw and closing the distance between you in a motion so quick you can barely register it.

His mouth is on yours before your mind can catch up. It makes no difference to him. He’s rabid in his patience, taking what he wants without forcing your lips to part. His hand squeezes your hip and all at once it connects. You gasp and Joel pins you to the wall even more securely, deepening the kiss with an expert’s ease.

It lasts until you can’t breathe and ends with his teeth grazing against your bottom lip as he pulls away. “All of this,” the words are exhaled lowly, “’Cause you’re jealous.”

The kiss left you so light headed your first instinct is to just agree. To not think and do or say whatever you need to in order to get him that close again. But his tone is too sure, too teasing, and the implication isn’t something he can just get away with. “Jealous?” His smugness is hard to take with him holding you against the wall like this. It’s too vulnerable, like this might be some kind of game to him. It makes you feel transparent. Hollow. “Fuck whoever you want, I don’t care.”

It’s like you’ve said nothing until Joel has the audacity to squeeze your hip. “Whoever I want?” His hand shifts up your hip, your shirt moving with him. “Hm.” His hum settles beneath your skin, effectively silencing you as his eyes take their time raking over your face and down your body. “Those were some big words from you.”

Heat rushes to your face. It’s ridiculous--you curse more than that on a regular basis. He’s playing into context, too aware of what he’s doing. The urge to push burns twice as hard as buzzing in your chest. “They’re true. We’re not--we’re not anything, so if I want to go with--”

“I’m not losin’ you.” There’s a desperation in there that comes out so hard it circles back to vulnerable. “You wanna go see your sister, we go see your sister. That’s how we got through everything else.” The hand on your hip moves down, his fingers dipping beneath the elastic waistband of your shorts. You hate yourself a little for the way your breath audibly catches. “Understand?”

His hand lowers even further, long fingers pressing against the fabric of your underwear. You’re not breathing right and you can’t bring yourself to care. The only thing you can think of is closer. “Y-yes.”

“’Yes’ what?” No sympathy in his voice or anything that would give away that he has a hand shoed down your pants.

His touch picks up pace, rubbing against you until a whimper escapes your lips. “Yes, sir.”

Joel moves his hand away with no warning. The whine that escapes your lips doesn’t feel like your own. He’s barely touched you and you’re already like this. “Barely touched you and you’re already listening.” He hooks two fingers in between the band of your underwear. “Should’ve done this awhile again, then.”

You’re burning all over, the only thing you can manage is a quick, “Shut up.” It lacks any bite.

He pulls at the band of our underwear, letting it snap back into place. If you didn’t know any better, you’d consider the flash of something softer across his face as amusement. “If you want me to stop, you’ve gotta tell me.”

Your nod feels desperate. Your entire body feels desperate. For the way he kissed you, the way he touched you. “I-I’ll tell you.” He’s still not moving, not doing anything. It’s some sort of punishment. It has to be. “Joel...”

“You going to say ‘please’?”

You have half a mind to tell him to fuck off, but then his fingers hook around your underwear again. A promise. “Please, Joel.” This is all unfamiliar but you trust Joel to get what you want, what you need. “Need you.”

With no warning, he yanks down your shorts and underwear. They fall down your legs and you blindly kick them to the side. “Need me?” He tilts his head down, pressing an open mouthed kiss against your cheek, then two to your jaw. “Need me where, sweetheart?”

God. Anywhere. Everywhere. Your desperation reminds you of how incredibly unfair it is that you’re already down to just our t-shirt and Joel’s still fully dressed. You move your hand slowly, carefully tugging at whatever piece of clothing on him you can reach.

He’s unimpressed. “C’mon, use your big girl words.” His hand is in between your thighs, his fingers teasing at your entrance in a way that makes it impossible to focus on anything else. “You were usin’ them just fine a second ago.”

“Joel,” he kisses your jaw again, forcing away all train of thought. It has to be intentional. “Joel,” again, too soft.

“I know,” he exhales the words against your neck, “I know, sweetheart. Need me to take care of you.” Joel doesn’t wait for a reaction, just pushes his fingers fully into you. You gasp too loudly, Joel moves his free hand over your mouth. “Be a good girl and be quiet. Can’t wake up Ellie.”

Shit. How did you not think of that? “You’ll be good and quiet for me? Let me stretch you out a bit first?” There’s a knot in your stomach that’s slowly taking over all of your senses. As long as Joel keeps working at it, you could promise him anything. You nod against the palm of his hand.

You bite your tongue to keep from whimpering too loudly. “Need you to relax,” he presses into you even more firmly, “Get you ready for me.”

He slowly eases his hand off of your face. “Joel, please.” You’re not even sure what you’re asking for, you just know you need more. You want him to consume you entirely. Feel him until he’s all there is.

You hear the sound of a belt buckle and his jeans shifting. Instinctually, you move a hand towards him, wanting to help, wanting to feel him. “There’ll be time for that, right now it’s about you.” You’re about to argue when he skillfully adds another finger. Fuck. “You’re tight,” he breathes, “No one’s ever touched you here?”

His fingers curl inside of you and you have to burry your face into the fabric of his shirt to keep from crying out. “Only you.”

“Look who’s found her manners.” He’s picking up the pace and smoothing down your hair as you squirm against him. “Should’ve done this sooner.” Just as the coil in your lower stomach tightens, Joel takes his hand back.

You push yourself off of him, staring at him with an expression you know he’ll consider pouting. “Why’d you--”

“Because I want you to remember this.” He pushes you back to the wall, pressing his body against you. The head of his cock brushes against your entrance. With no warning, he pushes into you. Your sharp gasp overlaps with Joel’s low groan. “Y’need a man to fuck the attitude out of you.” He moves slowly, the friction unbelievably overwhelming and somehow not enough. “That boy wouldn’t know what to do with you.”

Joel presses you further into the wall, sinking into you as deep as possible before pulling out just to sink back in. His pace is even until his breathing picks up. You’re a mess against him, hiding your face in his chest when he starts fucking you with full force.

“You’re squeezing me so good.” Joel practically pants the words into your skin. “Fuck, ‘m going to--you gonna finish with me, sweetheart?”

Your mind is mush, you can barely nod against him as his thrusts start to lose their focus. You’re pushed over the edge as Joel’s teeth graze against your neck. He pulls at your orgasm, dragging it along until your legs are jelly and he’s pulling out in order to not finish inside you.

The two of you stay holding onto each other for what feels like a long time and not enough. “You’re not goin’ anywhere, okay?”

You pull your head off of him enough to look him in the eye. “Not without you.”

He smiles, lines that you can imagine kissing forever etching themselves into his skin. “That’s my girl.” Joel runs a hand up and down your back fondly. “Let’s go to bed,” he presses a kiss against your jaw, “Give me the space to properly appreciate you.”

The thought makes your body burn all over again. “You sure you aren’t tired out, old man?”

Joel huffs out what’s almost a laugh, “We’ll see who’s tiring who out, sweetheart.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #tlou fanfic #tlou x reader #the last of us x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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mrsbarnesblog · 6 months

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masterlist ko-fi ao3

Mechanic! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Somehow you ended up in a storage room with one of your dad's mechanics.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: smut, mechanic bucky is a warning, he's a tease, fingerfucking (his hands are clean, I promise), dirty talk.

Author's note: love me some hot mechanic bucky barnes�� might write another part if you like this one

“Don’t hide that pretty face, doll. It’s just me.” Bucky’s silky, deep voice filled the little space between you two, and you unconsciously pressed your thighs together, which made the evil grin on his face grow even bigger. “Such a pretty little thing; look at you.”

You couldn’t hold back your moans when a large, calloused hand slipped under your simple white dress, tracing your soft skin. Bucky leaned closer, towering over you and blocking your way out of the small storage room in the back of the repair shop. He was pressing your body between himself and the wall, trying to make you look him in the eyes.

Your face was burning hot, and your whole body was shivering from being so close to one of your dad's mechanics, whom you had a crush on forever.

“I see the way you’re looking at me, Y/N. So innocent with those quick looks, shy smiles, and little dresses. You drive me crazy, baby.” Another hot wave washed over you. Your hands flew up at the feeling of two fingers tracing the line of your panties, but not going further. “Tell me that you want it. I won’t do anything against your will. C’mon, talk to me.”

“I—Bucky—I want, but I don’t know. It's wrong. Someone might hear, and um, I don’t—it’s not my thing. You probably don’t even like me.” His laugh was so genuine that you almost felt embarrassed for saying something wrong.

“Don’t like you? Are you serious, Y/N?” This time Bucky finally took your face with his free hand and held it so tightly that you had no choice but to look into his blue eyes. "I've liked you since the day I started working here a year ago. You’re so precious, so pretty, and so cute that I don’t know whether I want to wrap you in a blanket and keep you safe or completely destroy you and see the real you. Because you know what people say... the shy ones are the freakiest.” Bucky’s lips were almost touching yours, and you both breathed heavily, not knowing what to say. The weird, unknown heat in your stomach was almost painful, and the way Bucky's eyes were jumping from your eyes to your lips made your knees feel weak.

“I thought that you hated me.” You breathed out. Bucky smiled again; his lips almost touched you in the most testing way possible.

“I wouldn’t be able to hate such an angel like you. Your father just told us that he'll kill anyone who messes with his daughter.” You laughed and moved your hips, where Bucky’s hand was still under your dress.

“And you clearly didn’t care, huh?”

“I tried to do my best, but I can’t anymore. Let me take care of you, please.” He touched your nose with his, and it felt like the most intimate thing. Here, in the dark and small room, breathing the same air, and almost having his fingers in your underwear, you couldn’t say no.

You slightly nodded, and it was everything that Bucky needed to finally kiss you. He was dominating, devouring your mouth, and biting and licking your lips. You felt lightheaded because no one had ever been this eager to kiss you, taste you, or learn every corner of your body.

But Bucky was greedy.

He kept one hand on the side of your face, holding you the way he needed to, and the other one under your dress finally moved. His fingers swiped on the front part of your panties, which made you instantly twitch.

“No-no, don’t run away. I feel the wet spot, is that for me, baby?” You once again felt flushed and slightly embarrassed and tried to hide your face behind your hair, but Bucky was not having it. He stepped even closer to you, so his firm and hot body was pressing into you and you had no chance to move, not that you wanted to. “Tell me.”

“It’s for you. I want you.”

“Fuck, I want to destroy that pretty pussy right now, but you don’t think that our first time will be in a dusty and dirty place, do you?” Bucky lowered his head to your neck and breathed in your sweet scent. “No, sweetheart. ‘M gonna take you on a date, be the gentleman that you deserve, and then take you to my place and fill you with my cock until it’s the only thing you can think of, ‘kay? But now, let me see how well you can take my fingers, baby.”

A mixture of disappointment and excitement shot through your body. You wanted Bucky inside of you so bad, but it was a really bad idea. It would be just messy and quick, and for fuck’s sake, your father, other workers, and god knows how many customers were not so far away from you. Everyone would see what Bucky had done to you, and you would probably just die from the embarrassment.

The feeling of two thick fingers running across your wet folds pulled you out of your head. Your mouth instantly fell open in a loud gasp, and you gripped Bucky’s inappropriately tight black t-shirt in your fists.

He was just teasing you with a smirk on his stupidly pretty face, slowly going up and down, covering his fingers in your slik.

“So wet, goddammit.” When he suddenly brushed over your clit, you loudly whined and caught his wrist with one of your hands. You looked at each other for a few seconds and honestly didn’t know what you wanted him to do—stop the torture or finally fill you up with his thick fingers. “Ask me nicely, doll, and I’ll give you whatever you need.” Using your wetness, Bucky’s thumb started rubbing your clit in circular motions, noticing how you completely lost yourself in pleasure and were supported only by his body against you. “Speak to me, c'mon.”

“B-bucky! I can’t, fuck, please-please, fill me up.” You cried, closing your eyes and breathing heavily.

“Good girl. See, you just needed to ask me.” Your legs were slightly pushed apart by his thigh, and then finally you felt that delicious stretch that made your eyes roll back again and fall into Bucky’s chest. You slightly shieved in his arms, wanting to press together your legs, but it was impossible with his fingers deep inside of you.

Honestly, you could never come like this before; even your own fingers were too thin and couldn’t reach that exact spot. But he did it so easily. With one thrust and slightly curled fingers, Bucky sent you into heaven.

Your a little bit too loud whimper told Bucky everything, and even without seeing his face, you knew that he was smirking again. “I found it, didn't I?” He continued going in and out of you slowly, almost lazily, touching your sweet spot every time. “Fuck, you’re doing something to me, doll. I’m already addicted to your sweet little moans and the way your greedy pussy sucks in my fingers.” Bucky chuckled, with the other hand gently wrapped around your neck, pinning you back against the wall. “Don’t hide your face from me; I want to see you when you cum around me.” He softly kissed your lips and, at the same time, started to move inside of you harder.

It was hot and messy, with more and more slik running out of you because of the dirty words Bucky was mumbling onto your lips. The wet noise that filled the little room was almost too loud, but the only thing on your mind was how much you wanted to cum.

It creeped slowly but heavily. You figured out that Bucky knew exactly what he was doing, but he was a little too good at it. As if he already knew your body better than you and knew every right angle and spot to hit.

You were already close, choking on the air with your muffled moans and tears in your eyes, but when he finally added his thumb to your clit and rubbed it in a perfect rhythm, it hit you hard and quickly.

The white noise in your ears and the heat all over your body made you feel weak and dizzy. You couldn’t concentrate on a single thing or word because Bucky didn’t stop. He was filing you again and again, prolonging your orgasm.

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. Squeezing my fingers so good. ‘M wondering how your sensitive pussy will feel around my cock later. Could you imagine that?” He lowered himself down to your ear. “Being so full of my cock that you can’t even think straight, how she’ll be milking me and taking every drop of my cum. I can’t fucking wait to destroy every single man for you.” Soft lips were leaving small kisses on your cheek while you were coming down from your height.

“Bucky, shit, that was—I’ve never felt like this before.” You whispered when your head became more clear.

Bucky gently pulled his fingers out of you, and before you could even feel embarrassed for the mees that you had left on his hand, he put his fingers into his mouth. His blue eyes closed at the taste of you on his tongue—even better than he imagined—and your face started to burn when you felt another wave of heat at that image.

“Such a sweet pussy, fuck... But as much as I want to tear you into pieces, I need to go back to work, and Nat is probably already looking for you.” He reached to fix our dress and hair before stepping back and looking at you up and down. “You should go first, because I have a little problem.” Bucky’s eyes shot to his crotch area, and only then did you notice how painfully tight his pants were.

“Oh my god, Bucky, I’m sorry, I—” You stepped closer to help him somehow, but he caught your hands in his and sweetly smiled at you.

“Don’t worry, doll. It’s not my first time getting a boner because of you.” Your eyes widened at his confession, and you bit your lower lip in a mixture of shame for being so oblivious and a desire to hop on top of that gorgeous man. “Now go; I’ll find you later, okay?”

“Okay.” With the last sweet kiss, you finally walked out of the small room, trying to act normal so no one would notice that you were a whining and crying mess only a few minutes ago.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes smut #marvel #bucky barnes x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes

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jade-jini · 6 months

Note

YOU BETTER WRITE VIRGIN LOSER G!P MINJEONG WHERE SHES LIKE

“y/n i have no idea where your clit is can you help me out :((??”

and then once she shoves her cock inside she’s like “damn its so… tight um nngh” and then she cums bc shes such a loser

OMG my first ask is one of my fave writers🙊 Imma flex yes bdjdndk 😎

OK BUT all this starting because I was bullying minjeong in the chat so you know I have to make it virgin loser g!p jeongie x bully (but not really) reader.

Going from daily annoying her; taking her books and stretching so she won’t be able to reach for them, pushing her out of the way, stealing her dessert knowing damn well she was excited to eat it :( “Thank you Jeongie I was hungry byeee” and you would kiss her on the cheek, making her shy and buying you enough time to run away with the food “y/n wait! That’s unfair :(” like poor puppy 🥺

To constantly teasing her. Trapping her against her locker every morning, saying “good morning Jeongie” right on top of her lips making her sigh and completely blanks out, teasing her every time she talked with a girl and looked shy or nervous (minjeong didn’t know this was out of jealousy ‘cause why is anybody talking to YOUR loser?), calling her out and telling her she was such a virgin, Sitting on her lap before the class starts and she just gasps because you keep moving. Why are you doing this to her??? when you have a perfect chair right next to her (yes, she was your seat mate, how unlucky for her huh?) And she just doesn’t have the courage to tell you to move (plus even tho it was wrong it felt too good). You’re so busy saying how she’s such a nerd because of her little Pokemon stickers and plushies that mind you were a gift from her other nerdy friends (yes the other Aespa girlies), that you don’t notice how you’re affecting her 😭 until you feel something hard against your ass and when you instinctively were to get up she automatically grabs your hips to stop you fbdkdn

“Oh someone is enjoying herself a little too much huh little pervert? You’ve probably never had a girl on your lap before.” you whisper in her ear with such a mean smirk and she just whimpers because it’s so embarrassing that is true:((( she got hard in class and right in front of her crush bully. She was gonna panic and then you just “Don’t worry puppy, I’ll help you after class. Just behave until we’re out.”

AND MINJEONG IS ABOUT TO LOSE IT ‘CAUSE NOBODY HAS EVER SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HER???? but she’s an obedient puppy so she does as you say. She was trying to distract herself from the literal fear she was feeling thinking about what you were gonna do to her. She has never done shit with nobody so she was genuinely nervous 😭 until she felt your hand under her desk, teasing her over her pants. Minjeong looked at you almost begging you to stop because that poor creature felt like she could come right there in that classroom, but you simply told her to stay quiet with your finger, so she had to endure the rest of the lecture with her boxers wet with her precum 💀. After class she got up super fast, covering herself with her bag actually considering running away feeling too scared of pussy but you grabbed her arm firmly.

“Your car or mine?” You asked her. She gulped, catching herself unable to escape you. “wait you don’t have one I remember. You’re always walking home. Lame. C’mon.” Why are you so mean 😭

“A-are you sure that’s a good idea? I thought you were joking…” she said with her little shy voice 🥺 she’s so pathetic and cute. The reason you loved annoying the sht outta her was because of how endearing you found her! She was such a cute little loser who just needed to get ruined.

You rolled your eyes and simply dragged her to your car. Once you got to your place you lost no time and pushed her to your bed, straddling her and kissing her and when I tell you Minjeong can’t stay still 😭 she doesn’t know how to act or what to do she just knows 1. She needs to get her pants out of the way NOW and 2. You were the only one who could help her right now. “Y/n.. please” she’d moan, feeling you moving on top of her again, this time with much more intension. She kept pushing her hips up trying to get more friction. “God you’re so desperate, can’t even let me have my fun before we start” you’d scold but bro fvck you you were just as desperate, you just knew how to hide it better. But it became too hard to hide the way your mouth was almost drooling once you put minjeong’s pants and boxers down because this girl is BIG. And not only big but also idk her dick is just so.. pretty?! Knfkfj like it just looks so amazing, size aside Idk-

So you wasted no time and put her dick inside your mouth, as deep as possible and goshhh minjeong’s eyes went completely to the back of her head. She’s never felt such sensation. Getting deepthroated during your first blowjob is an experience not a lot of people get so she was lucky af “aghh.. y/n.. oh my..~” she’d moan your name so softly it was almost heart melting. That if it wasn’t ‘cause she was literally balls deep inside your throat- anyway. She did sound both so hot but so cute, moaning and whimpering and grabbing your hair a little bit with her shaky hands Aww. You thought she was just a sensitive one but oh stupid you how didn’t you notice it was more than just that??

Once you could feel her breathing a little too irregular, knowing she was close, you got up not wanting her to come yet. You heard her groaning and laughed at her. “Shut up, you’re not the only one who gets to feel good here are you?” You teased her while getting completely naked and Omg 😳 minjeong’s face got sooo red ‘cause she has never seen a girl naked before. So she quickly covered her eyes and you thought she was just a shy loser bsdjfn “I literally just had your cock in my mouth what are you so shy about” “y/n! Hmmm…”. But she said nothing else and once she took her hands off her face you were lying down right in front of her, looking like a goddess and Omg 😵‍💫 her brain stopped working. She’s trying to learn so the best next step would be to get closer and kiss you right? Yes. So that she does, getting in between your legs trying to do it as confident as possible. “Fuck me, jeongie~” you whispered in her ear and gosh she was so ready for it but also so naive about how that was gonna happen 😭 the few videos her useless pervert friends have shown her are those where you can’t see Wtf is going on between the couple’s legs. Her cock was right against your clit (but she didn’t know that lmao) so when she moved and you moaned ‘cause of the friction, she connected it with her doing something right, so she continued but since the contact was also making her feel good, she started moving faster and a little.. abrupt 😭

her cock moved up a little too much. She was too shy to look so the tip literally ended up resting on your bellybutton BSKSNSKS. Minjeong didn’t notice it but you did. She rubbed it against your body a little bit and for the first couple seconds you thought she was just trying to tease you in her own weird nerd way but you grew both tired of that and desperate to feel her deep inside you already so you told her to stop playing and fuck you already. Poor thing panicked again 😭 she grabbed her cock and stared at it and then at your pussy, not knowing how was she supposed to do this 💀but you were always teasing her about being a virgin so at least you knew and it wouldn’t be so weird if she asked for help right? Right?

“Umm.. y/n?” She’d start, clearly confused and nervous. Which made YOU confused ‘cause why the fuck wasn’t she inside you yet?? “It’s just I’m not sure how.. you know.” And Omg that’s when it hit you. “I don’t wanna do something wrong or hurt you or-”

“Hold on. Minjeong.. have you done this before??”

“Hmm? No? I-I thought you knew. You’re always calling me a virgin!” She answered in a defensive tone lol but that’s ‘cause wdym you didn’t know 😨 now she was even more nervous and embarrassed!

“It was just to tease you! How would I know that? But gosh you are pathetic.”

“And you’re so mean :(” Dbdkfn Aww leave her aloneee🥺🥺 “could you ugh.. help me out please? I wanna make you feel good :(” and Aww how could you be mean to her when she was saying those things and asking for help with such a cute face 🥺 you just sighed and rolled your eyes before smiling at her softly.

“Here.” You started, grabbing her cock, making her groan and bite her lip (that woman is hot 🫵🏼). “So right here is the clit, pay attention to this ‘cause the more you stimulate it the better I’ll feel.” You explained to her, teasing yourself with the tip of her cock. And she just went ohhh :o with those puppy eyes she has dndnfk fvckin loser melts my heart istg. You started guiding her a little lower, so she could finally get inside your hole. You decided to move and get the tip inside yourself which with how big she was, was already your own little challenge “g-god.. now you just push it more.. a-and fuck me already.” You told her, already needing more of her. And so she slowly started pushing her cock deeper and deeper inside your pussy, mumbling about how good you felt, her head already in the clouds. Once she was fully in, you let out a big trembling sigh trying to get used to such a big thing inside you. Minjeong was trying her best to stay in a slow tempo at first, worried she might hurt you because you had a painful expression 🥺 but baby didn’t know that it was both hurting but feeling so fucking good. Until you basically ordered her to go faster, while your nails went to her back.

So she started fucking you deep and fast, making you moan so loud which only motivated her to go faster and faster “God you’re so tight.. so warm… hmmgn feels too good y/n… y/n!” She’d cry with a string of voice. She was pounding you so good, grabbing your legs and sucking on your nipple like a fucking baby. It was all way too good. Before you were even closer to your own climax tho she was already coming inside you 💀 poor loser barely lasted but cmon cut her some slack she is a virgin anyway. Plus you can always train her so she’ll get better with time 😌(and when I add cockwarming her in the future then what). She came so much inside you it was dripping down your thighs once she pulled out and it looked so fucking hot… but poor baby felt embarrassed :c

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to finish so fast, you just feel too good..” she said out of breath with a pout :( Aww she thought y’all were done silly puppy.

“It’s ok, it’s not like we’re done anyway” you told her and she just tilted her head looking at you, until you turned her around and started riding her 😭 you hadn’t come yet >:( you didn’t care if it was her first time or not, you were gonna teach her how to make you come with her cock from day one. And that’s how you spent the whole night milking that girl until she actually passed out ‘cause of the overstimulation bdidnds. Needless to say her cock was still inside you as you both fell asleep <3

Y’all’s morning routine barely changes dnndkf. Just that now you drive her to school whenever you spend the night together and take her home after class. You keep teasing her every morning against her locker, but now before saying good morning (like you didn’t see her literally the moment you woke up) you actually kiss her, always pulling her lip making her lose her train of thought and she just sighs and follows you to the classroom with the silliest dreamy expression in her face 😭 she’s such a cutie.

(puppy! minjeong agenda preacher here as you noticed)

#kim minjeong #minjeong x reader #aespa minjeong #winter #g!p winter #kpop gg #kpop scenarios #aespa x reader #aespa smut #winter smut #loser winter #kpop smut #winter x reader #loser minjeong x reader #aespa imagines #aespa scenarios #kpop imagines

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number1mingyustan · 7 months

Text

-Cuffing Season-

His Thighs

boyfriend!mingyu x fem!reader

Warnings: established relationship, cursing, explicit smut, dry humping, thigh grinding, size kink, premature orgasms, cumming untouched, teasing, begging, mentions of porn

Summary: He won’t always give you what you want, but sometimes it’s just what you need

Word Count: 1.7k

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(a/n: i wanna post more but school has been kicking my ass and i barely have time to write 😔)

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Mingyu asks, popping a grape into his mouth. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter with the bowl of grapes on his left.

“I wasn’t staring at you.”

You were totally staring at him. Mingyu currently stands across from you in the kitchen dripping in sweat. He’s wearing all black, a compression shirt and shorts.

Shorts.

On leg day.

He’s spent the last hour and a half in the gym inside of your apartment building. You’ve just finished renovating the old guest room so Mingyu could have his own personal gym in your home.

He hasn’t been able to work out as much as he wants since he’s always on the job or spending time with you. So the best solution was to turn the guest room you don’t use into a gym so Mingyu can still workout and be at home with you.

One thing he didn’t take into account was just how much it would affect you.

“You sure about that? It seems like you were.” He smirks at you.

You’re going weak in the knees. He’s not even doing anything and you’re practically drooling over him. He just looks so good.

His clothes fit him tighter than they did 2 hours ago. His muscles are so prominent, especially in his thighs. He’s not even purposely flexing yet his muscles are bulging out.

“Someone just needs to check your ego. ‘M not as obsessed with you as you think.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

You’re lying through your fucking teeth right now.

Mingyu pops another grape in his mouth and let’s out a genuine chuckle. “So defensive for someone who wasn’t staring.”

You cross your arms and your legs and lean back into the chair.

He shrugs. “Saw your eyes drift down to my dick like… 4 times baby. You’re not nearly as subtle as you think you are. ‘S okay to ask for something you want, you know.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “I was not staring at your dick!”

He licks his lips slowly. “Yeah? What were you looking at then baby? Don’t bother trying to lie to me either.”

“Was staring at your thighs,” You mumble.

A cocky smirk forms on your boyfriends face. “Maybe I should hit legs every day then. ‘S cute having a secret admirer.”

“Not a secret… just your admirer,” You look up at him softly.

Your words rush straight to his head and his cock. You’re so shameless. He breathes out. “Shit, come here.”

He pulls you in by the waist, pressing his thigh between your legs.

“I saw this in a porno once,” He licks his lips.

You roll your eyes. “You and your porn…”

“Hmph.” He begins lifting up your skirt. “Complain all you want but you always love the stuff we try from my pornos. Besides…. you watch way more porn than I do.”

You roll your eyes again. “I only watch when you’re away on business trips. Besides, I watch our videos, not faceless strangers. ‘S not the same.”

“I’m just a man after all baby,” He grins, pressing his thigh harder against you. “I promise you won’t be complaining when you’re cumming on my thigh in a few.”

His words send a shiver through your body. You didn’t think the friction would be enough, but you’re already dripping on his thigh.

“You’re not gonna fuck me?” You pout, grinding against his thigh slowly.

He shakes his head. “You’ve such an attitude with me today, don’t think you deserve it.”

It’s like a flip switches inside of you every time things go sexual with him. You were giving him attitude mere minutes ago but now you’re whining desperately and begging him to fuck you.

“Please Gyu… ‘M sorry. Just want your cock…… you told me I could ask when I wanted something. I’m asking nicely,” You look up at him with desperation in your eyes. You don’t even realize how much faster you’ve started grinding against him.

“No baby, you have to learn your lesson. I can’t just give you what you want cuz you said sorry. Gotta punish you a little.”

You whine, head falling down into his large chest. He towers above you, staring down at you almost condescendingly. Your hands grip his shirt harder and you tug at the material clinging to his skin. You hold onto him, clinging tighter to him and pulling yourself closer.

“So greedy baby, begging for my cock like you’re not about to cum on my thigh,” He stares down at you.

“Can’t cum like this,” You pant. “Not enough.”

“It’s more than enough, you’re just greedy. Absolutely insatiable,” He whispers into your ear. He decides to help you out, pushing your panties to the side so your bare bottom meets his thigh.

You groan, pressing yourself harder against him and picking up the pace of your movements. “Fuck me please. Need your cock so bad.” You whine.

“No,” He tells you firmly.

You let out a whine. “But Gyu… you’re already so hard.”

You reach your hand out toward his cock. It’s so big and hard, poking out through the material of both his underwear and shorts. You’re practically salivating, aching to release him from the confines of his clothing and bounce on it.

But he stops you.

Before you can touch him, he reacts quickly and grabs you by both your wrists. He flips your position so it’s now your back resting against the counter and he holds your wrists behind your back firmly. You let out a shaky breath when your back meets the counter.

His thigh is still wedged between yours but the grip he has on your wrists is tight. His other hand now holds your chin and he tilts your head back, forcing you to look at him.

You’re violently throbbing against his thigh. He’s got you pressed so closely against the counter and his body you can hardly move your hips. The friction is now minimal and miserable.

“Keep your hands to yourself,” He grits. “You take what I give you like a good girl or you get nothing. Do that shit again and I’ll stop right now and I won’t touch you again for a week.”

You whimper in response. “You’re so cruel.”

“And you’re a brat. Gotta keep you in check sometimes, pretty girl,” He licks his lips. “You gonna be grateful for what I give you now?”

You nod eagerly without hesitation. Your obedience brings a smile to his face and he releases the grip on your wrists. You find your hands clinging to his shirt again as you begin grinding on his thigh.

You feel like a teenager again. Having to work for your orgasms and hump like a bitch in heat. But the friction is just oh so good. Mingyu tenses his thigh, causing you to moan out and whimper pathetically.

“Oh fuck,” He lets out breathily.

Your knee nudges against the underside of his cock, rubbing against it just enough to have him twitching in his shorts. Building pleasure making precum stain the cotton, steadily leaking out the tip and through both layers separating the two of you.

He adjusts himself in his shorts,lightly palming over his cock and squeezing over his cockhead to avoid cumming himself. He’s not concerned about his own orgasm, but your thigh brushing up against him might just get him there anyway.

Your knees brushes against him so lightly, but it’s driving him crazy. His cock is so big and hard, poking out through the material of his shorts. He ignores it, despite it being so hard to miss and ignore. His attention is on you.

Your hips stutter forward, desperate as you rut against Mingyu’s thigh. He can feel the way you’re pulsing, arousal dripping down his skin. It’s so wet and messy, dribbles of arousal sticking to skin and fabric. The wet noises and your small gasps of pleasure making his cock twitch with every jittery rut of your hips. Your mind feels hazy and your legs feel weak.

His big hands settle back onto your hips, pulling you forward, helping you roll your hips faster. He’s so smitten by your clit dragging against his warm skin.

Your head dips lower into his chest when he tenses his thigh again. You moan loudly and your grip on his shirt tightens. You just need something to hold onto as you feel your high approaching.

He coaxes you through it, talking down at you as his big hands continue to guide your hips. “C’mon pretty girl, that’s it. Cum for me.”

He keeps his thigh tensed, grabbing you by your hair and tilting your head back. He forces you to look at him when you cum. His gaze is lustful and hazy and it has you falling apart in seconds.

You struggle to keep your eyes open, but you know how much it pisses Mingyu off. He wants to see you fall apart and he wants you to watch him. Tears of desperation drip from your eyes as you force them open and rut against his thigh erratically.

You’re a moaning mess, hips rolling against his tensed thigh with no sense of rhythm as your orgasm courses through your body. It’s intense, way more intense than you imagined. Especially considering the way you didn’t think you could cum like this just minutes ago.

Your knees really go weak and nearly give out as you fall limp against his chest, burying your face back against his legs.

You let out a small gasp into his skin when you feel his cock throbbing against your hip. His hands grip your hips tightly and he lets out a long groan with his head tilted back. His adam’s apple is prominent as he leans back and ruins his shorts.

Your mouth opens in awe when you watch his thick release spurt through his shorts. White cum dribbles and stains the black material as he rolls his hips upwards, bringing you both down from your highs slowly.

“Shit,” He whispers.

He pulls himself away from you, looking down at the mess you’ve made.

You’re still lightly panting, looking down between the gap separating you two and taking mental note of the mess.

“Shower?” You finally ask.

“Yeah,” He breathes out. “Needed one anyway after the gym.”

You lean against the counter lazily. Your legs are still shaky. “You gonna fuck me properly in the shower?”

He licks his lips and smirks at you. He shrugs before walking out of the kitchen and toward the bathroom. “Only one way to find out.”

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#seventeen smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #mingyu smut #seventeen mingyu #seventeen drabbles #mingyu fanfic #mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu svt #mingyu drabbles #svt mingyu #kim mingyu smut #cuffing season #kpop

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janeyseymour · 2 months

Text

Dancing On My Own (Tiesto Remix)- pt 2

After some pushback from the first, I knew I had to write a second part, and quick. this should placate most of you.

Summary: the aftermath.

Part 1.

WC: 2.25k

tags: @lakita-fisher @weeeeeeeeee3 @lilsmeaux @@morgana-larkin

You somehow make it home unscathed- you could barely see as you drove through your tears, your breakup playlist on full blast. You guess you’re officially done. With Melissa already having a new woman, you wonder just how much you ever even meant to her.

As soon as you’re pulling into your spot, the waterworks hit in full- as if they weren’t already. You rip off the jersey and hat that you wore out, not caring where they land as you throw them into your front room. You had bought a bottle of wine to share with the redhead that you fell madly in love with to celebrate getting back together, and hopefully a big win, but now that seems wrong to drink on your own. You reach for the vodka instead.

You don’t show to school the next day, calling out claiming that you’re sick. And you are. Your heart hurts more than you ever thought possible, and your hangover is killer. You spend the morning laying in bed, eyes rimmed red. The redness won’t be going away any time soon.

Melissa saunters into the school, happy that she hasn’t seen your car in the parking lot, and doing a little dance because her team won. She’s also quite happy that she was able to rebound with last night- even if she didn’t particularly enjoy the woman that she spent her time with. She much rather would’ve spent time with you, but… you were… are a Cowboys fan.

“Someone’s happy,” Barbara chuckles. She thinks she knows why. “Did you have a good night at the game?”

“I did!” Melissa grins. “I took this girl I met at the bar, and-”

The kindergarten teacher’s face drops. “What?”

“I wasn’t going to let the ticket I had for Y/N go to waste,” the redhead shrugs. “So I asked Lena if she wanted to go with me to heckle the Cowgirls fans.”

“Oh no,” Barbara whispers. “Oh, no. no. no.”

“What? I figured after Y/N and I, I should get myself back out there.”

“No,” Barbara states again with fire. “Oh good god.”

“What?! What, Barb?”

“I- I have to go make a call,” the kindergarten teacher grabs her coffee mug and heads out quickly. She closes her classroom door as she dials your number.

Your phone starts ringing far too loudly, and you groan. You glance at it and see Barbara’s contact picture light up.

“Hello?” you groan into the phone, just barely sitting up. Your voice is rough, both from the tears and the fact that you haven’t spoken since last night.

“Sweetheart,” your coworker whispers to you. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Home,” you grumble. “Sick.”

The kindergarten teacher frowns. “Sick? Lovesick?”

“Heartbroken,” you whisper, voice cracking slightly. “She was there with someone else. You knew, didn’t you?”

“Y/N, dear,” Barb sighs quietly. “If I had known that she was talking to someone else, I never would’ve told you to go for it. In fact, when she came in dancing today I thought it was because the two of you got back together.”

“Nope,” you pop the ‘p’. “She had her tongue down someone else’s throat.”

“Honey, I am so sorry,” the woman tells you softly.

“I’m not mad at you,” you tell her genuinely. “You didn’t do anything wrong but try to help me.”

“Can I do anything else for you?” Barbara asks.

You sigh. “Just… when I come back to work tomorrow, pretend I was sick? I don’t feel like having Janine jump down my throat.”

“I can do that,” the kindergarten teacher says softly. “And please know that even though the two of you aren’t involved anymore, we are all still on your side. You’re still a part of our-”

“It’s okay,” you sigh sadly. “I know that you’re all Melissa’s friends, and I don’t want to put any of you in an awkward position having to pick sides. She’s been here longer; it’s all hers.”

“Sweetheart,” Barbara breathes.

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay, Barb. Thank you for trying to help me,” you mumble before hanging up.

By the time you hang up with her, the students will begin trickling in, so Barbara doesn’t have time to go speak with Melissa about the situation at hand.

But at lunch, Barbara simply grabs her lunch and picks up the redhead’s that is already out on the table.

“Barb,” Melissa gasps.

“My room. Now,” is all the kindergarten teacher has to say to get her friend to follow her out of the staff room and down the hall, head hung like a child being escorted to the principal’s office.

When they get there, Barbara sets down their lunches at her desk and pulls a chair up for Melissa.

“Barb, c’mon,” your… ex-girlfriend groans. “What gives?”

“What the hell were you doing out with another woman?”

The second grade teacher immediately gets defensive. “Y/N and I-”

“Y/N went to the game last night… dressed in Eagles gear and ready to cheer for your team because she loves you,” the older teacher says sternly. “And you threw it in her face that you were done with her and already moved on.”

“She- what?”

“She spent close to a thousand dollars on sports gear last week to try to win you back. She wore Phillies gear, she wore Flyers apparel, she wore a Sixers sweatshirt, she even wore a jersey from the Union, and on Friday, she wore Kelly green to show you that she’s in Philly now.”

“Didn’t show up in a Hurts or Kelce jersey though,” Melissa rolls her eyes.

“Because she was saving that for last night when she was going to win you back with the ticket that she managed to get next to you!”

Melissa’s face drops. “She- fuck.”

“She’s not sick. She’s heartbroken right now.”

The redhead bites her lip. “I fucked up takin’ Lena, didn’t I?”

Barbara nods. “She was crying when I called, and she told me she was heartbroken to see you with some other girl’s tongue down your throat.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” the kindergarten teacher nods. “That word.”

Melissa breathes out heavily. “Do you…” she shakes her head. “She’s still a Cowboys fan.”

“Melissa Ann, you love her. She loves you. She’s perfect aside from that one fact, and when she tried explaining herself to you at school, you wouldn’t let her get a word out. Hear her out, and even then… if she does love the Cowboys, are you really going to let something as trivial as a sports team rivalry come between you and the one person that you love?”

“I…” the redhead bites her lip. “Do you think I have a chance at winning her back?”

At that, the kindergarten teacher shrugs. “You’ll never know if you don’t try… although, I would end things with this new woman you were making out with last night.”

The end of the day could not come sooner for the second grade teacher. She’s debated texting you or calling you, but she feels this is something that she has to do in person.

So as soon as she’s finished for the day, she runs out. She leaves her lunch bag in the staff room, doesn’t wait for her work wife; she just books it. She’s tearing out of the school parking lot in the direction of your apartment complex.

The entire drive over, she’s preparing what she’s going to say to you, but once she’s standing on the door mat that you have sitting outside your front door, it all leaves her brain. She knocks a few times before stepping back.

Who the hell is at your door? Could it be Barbara checking on you? Or maybe she said something to Janine or Jacob, and they’re here to make sure that you’re okay? With a groan, you sit up and stand from the couch. You’ve been sitting there for so long wallowing in your self pity that you leave an indent in the cushions. You check the peephole, and… why is Melissa standing at your door?

You open the door, not caring how you look right now.

The sight of you hurts her heart. Your hair is messily tied up, you haven’t changed out of your pajamas, your eyes are still rimmed red… you just look so heartbroken right now.

“What? Come to yell at me some more?” you try sound angry, but it just comes out pathetic.

“No,” she says softly. “Hun, I’m-”

“Here to break up with me?” you sigh. “You made it pretty clear we were done.”

“Can I come in?” she asks quietly. The woman sounds so unlike herself.

You shrug and leave the door open as you walk away. She follows you in. “I’m here to say I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever,” you sigh as you curl back into your mountain of blankets. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be civil the rest of the school year, I’ll leave you and your friends alone, and then I’ll find another school in the area to work at.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Well, it’s a little hard to work with your ex-girlfriend,” you sigh. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind seeing yourself out.”

“Y/N,” Melissa says so softly, and she has her eyes trained on you. They’re filled with sadness. “I don’t want to break up.”

“I thought we already did,” you spit out. “And if we didn’t, I know you had your tongue down another woman’s throat last night anyway, so if you don’t break up with me, I’ll do it for you. Then you can make me the bad guy when you-”

“Barb told me what you were trying to do,” the redhead admits softly.

“If you would’ve just listened to me, you would know that I didn’t necessarily have a choice in who I rooted for when it came to football. My father, who is my idol and best friend so don’t you dare say a single bad thing about him, loves the Cowboys. He insisted on buying me the Prescott jersey despite the fact that I didn’t want him spending that money on me to begin with.”

“I should’ve known with you growing up near Dallas,” she sighs.

“But I’m here now,” you continue. “And once I talked to him and he told me that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So I did. I bought all of this Philly stuff, bought a ticket to the game and showed up in a hat and Hurts jersey, only to see you with someone else. So… it’ doesn’t matter.”

“Hun, I never wanted her.”

“Well, you got her.”

“The whole time, I was wishing it was you.”

You rub your temples.

“Barb told me she helped you,” the second grade teacher admits. “If I had known… I would’ve been-”

“Any time they brought me up, you shut them down,” you fire out. “You wouldn’t let me speak to you at all.”

“You avoided me too!”

“I was trying to give you space, and when I did try to talk to you, you shut me down and told me you weren’t going to date a Cowgirl.”

“How can I fix this?” Melissa asks as she comes to sit down next to you. “I’ll do- I’ll do anything.”

“I thought you weren’t going to date a Cowgirl,” you taunt her. “And you have your new girl now.”

“She isn’t my girl,” the redhead tells you sternly. “You’re my girl. She’s some random girl I picked up at a bar while I was trying to distract myself from missing you. The whole time I was with her, I wished it was you- I didn’t even sleep with her. She was throwing herself at me, but I couldn’t.”

“So what are you saying?”

“And then today when you didn’t show up to school, Barbara told me what you did and how she helped you… she talked some sense into me; asked me if I was really going to let a stupid sports rivalry get in the way of loving the one person I truly adore. The answer is no. I was… an idiot. An absolute idiot.”

“Yeah,” you snort. “You were.”

“So… I’m here, begging you to take me back. Please, Y/N,” Melissa tears up. “Please. Please don’t walk away.”

“Melissa, you hurt me more than you know,” you whisper.

“And I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you,” she promises you. “Please.”

You take a deep breath for huffing it out. Secretly, you were hoping she would come back to you. And the opportunity is right here in front of you. “It’s… it’s going to take a bit for me to fully forgive you.”

“And I understand that entirely. I was a real jackass. I’ll make it up to you however I can.” She pulls you into her arms and kisses your temple gently. “However I can.”

That ‘however’ is by having her take you to another Eagles game- with the entire Abbott crew. You wear your Hurts jersey, hanging off of her the entire night, and you cheer for your new team.

The other ‘however’ is by getting her to take you to a Phillies RedOctober game at Lincoln Financial field. When they play their celebratory song after clinching a spot in the World Series as NLC champions, you know that you’re no longer dancing on your own (tiesto remix). You have Melissa by your side.

#melissa schemmenti fanfiction #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #abbott elementary fanfiction #abbott elementary fanfic #abbott elementary

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mysterycitrus · 5 months

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hi! i just got finished with the second chapter of persephones in hell and!! such a great dick fic and i loved getting to see the titans. but i’m feeling like i’m interpreting things wrong wrt bruce and wanted to clarify.. what are you thoughts on bruce? ik he’s obsessive and has a tendency to manipulate and shut out those close to him, but i’ve never gotten the feeling he’s actually physically or emotionally abusing these kids. i’m picking up a vibe in the fic tho that some of the titans think bruce is abusive (towards dick at least) and i’m wondering if it was your intention to write bruce that way, or just that he’s perceived as such? (i’m aware also that dicks perspective is justifiably skewed)

i could just be over thinking it. sorry for bothering you. i don’t mean this in a “problematic bruce get cancelled” kind of way. i feel bad if it comes across that way sorry i’m just genuinely curious :)

hello! i won’t go into specifics cause this is like… the thesis of part three, but no — i personally don’t subscribe to the idea that bruce is an irredeemable abusive asshole. there’s plenty of evidence for him being one in comics, but a lot of it is dregs of frank miller era masochismo, and i prefer batman to be fundamentally kind.

in saying that tho — the titans are right. i think u would be very hard pressed to find a comic where bruce and dick (of all his kids) don’t have an unhealthy, codependent relationship. bruce inspires debilitating loyalty in many people he works with, but dick has it the absolute worst of everyone because he’s been emotionally regulating bruce since he was eight years old.

when people say dick was parentified, i think there’s some confusion about what it means in this context. it’s not about a child raising their younger siblings (dick was out of the house and an adult by the time jason came around) but more that a child is made responsible for the emotional well-being of their parent. we see this in scarecrow year one, in teen titans year one, and sporadically all over canon. the titans, looking in, see dick still carrying bruce’s expectations well into adulthood and hate it.

i also think bruce being a maliciously abusive character is a disservice to the characterisation of everyone else — there is absolutely no way dick would’ve let bruce adopt anyone else if that was the case. there’s no way babs would. tim isn’t an idiot, he would’ve kept his distance. same with jason. cass has a very twisted understanding of pain, but she could literally read his body language and be able to tell if he was hurting someone on purpose. clark and diana would snap him like a twig.

i think it’s a lot more interesting if a kind person who wants to do good is so pathologically afraid of losing the people he loves that he’ll hurt them in response, and was so traumatised that after twenty years his sole pillar of emotional regulation was a boy who’d just suffered the same trauma he had.

#does that make sense? no hate to the bruce haters but i like my characters with something to chew on #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #nightwing #the ask and the answer #persephone tag #dc comics

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a-sleepy-raven · 11 months

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Heya! Can you perhaps write some general relationship headcanons for leon, luis and krauser?

Hey there! Thank you for your request, I had a lot of fun working on this one. :) Hope you enjoy!

Characters: Leon Kennedy, Luis Serra, Jack Krauser

Notes: not proofread, might be slighty ooc

General relationship HCs (gn!reader)

Leon S. Kennedy

Leon is unfortunately quite used to losing people close to him, so he’s incredibly hesitant to actually start a relationship with you. He can’t help but be convinced that he’s going to lose you too sooner or later, be it because something happens to you or because you realize that he’s not what you want or need and decide to leave him – hence why he probably tries to push you away at first.

However, once you manage to get him, Leon is yours forever. He’s a loyal and loving partner and will do everything in his power to make you happy, especially since he’s well aware that being in a relationship with him isn’t always easy. It honestly never ceases to amaze him that you’re willing to put up with all of this – the traumatic stuff he went through in the past, the fact that he’s not allowed to talk about anything regarding his work and that he sometimes has to leave for weeks without being able to tell you where he’s going – and he really appreciates that you’re still by his side.

Especially in the beginning of your relationship, Leon struggled with letting his guard down. Like I said, he has gone through so much and feels like he can’t deal with losing another person he cares about, so he has been really cautious and hesitant at first. But as the time passed and the two of you got closer, Leon found himself realizing that he can’t imagine his life without you in it. The fear of losing you will never leave him completely but he became more confident about your relationship over time and now, you’re one of the few people he trusts completely.

He’s not one to get jealous easily since he trusts you and knows that you would never betray him like that. But he still hates when others are clearly trying to flirt with you, especially if you’re obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. It makes his blood boil when someone is unable to respect your boundaries, and in moments like that, he definitely won’t hesitate to step in.

Loves to cuddle with you. There’s just something so soothing and calming about your presence and whenever he feels the urge to just shut the entire world out, he just pulls you close and buries his face in the crook of your neck.

Luis Serra

Better be prepared for lots of teasing and flirting because Luis likes to see you all flustered. Even before you got together, he never missed an opportunity to flirt with you, mainly to catch your interest, but also because he enjoyed figuring out which kind of comments and compliments make you blush. Also, lots of pet names, both before and after you started dating, though they became sweeter and more loving once you got together.

People who don’t know him might assume that he’s incapable of being in a relationship since they only see his flirtatious and charming nature, but Luis is actually very faithful and would never betray you in any way. He often jokes that he has no reason to flirt with someone else because he’s already got the main prize by his side. He loves and adores you with every fiber of his being, and he’s 100 percent sure that there’s no one out there who could make him feel more loved than you do.

You wouldn’t expect it but Luis actually turns into a blushing and flustered mess whenever you compliment him. Your words are always so genuine that it makes him melt on the spot, although he really tries his best to hide it because he feels like he has a reputation to lose and therefore doesn’t want to embarrass himself, not even in front of you. However, you know him well enough to still see the effect your words have on him.

So. Many. Kisses. Luis uses every opportunity to press his lips to yours, your forehead or your cheeks. He’s someone who doesn’t mind PDA in general but if you’re uncomfortable with it, he accepts and respects that too because he’d never ignore any boundaries you set.

Luis also loves to surprise you, be it with small gifts like your favorite flowers or date nights. To be honest, he just likes to show you off because to him, you’re absolutely perfect and he wants everyone to see how adorable and beautiful his partner is.

Jack Krauser

Krauser definitely isn’t someone to fall head over heels in love with someone or to dive head first into a relationship. It’s pretty hard to earn his respect and his trust, and on top of that, a part of him will always see loving someone as some kind of weakness. He’s also so used to being alone that he’s convinced he doesn’t need anyone else. So, you probably need a lot of patience, especially in the beginning of your relationship.

It’s pretty important that you don’t ask too many questions about his job or his past. Krauser is a man with many secrets, and he most likely won’t ever feel comfortable enough to share any of this with you, so it’s best to just accept that he doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you but to him, it’s a fact that it’s best if you don’t know anything about these things – especially since it’s already risky to be in a relationship with him in the first place. (And though he might never admit it, he’d hate himself for letting anything happen to you.)

With that being said, there’s nothing Krauser wouldn’t do to keep you safe and sound. He knows first-hand how shitty the world can be, and should someone dare to lay a hand on you, he won’t hesitate to make them pay for it. Though he often acts like he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, he fiercely protects those who are important to him, no ifs, no buts – and if it means that he has to put his own life at risk in the process, then so be it. I think he’d also offer to teach you some basic self-defense, just in case that you ever find yourself in a situation where these skills might come in handy.

He never lets his guard down completely, not even around you, and he’s not easy to love. However, that doesn’t mean he’s a bad partner or that he doesn’t care about you. Since he’s not overly affectionate (as in, he rarely initiates kisses or cuddles himself), he finds other ways to show how important you are to him, for example by making sure that you drink enough water or take your meds etc. He pays close attention to everything you do and therefore notices even the slightest changes in your behavior, so he immediately knows when something’s bothering you. And though Krauser is not be the best at comforting people, he still tries to cheer you up because he doesn’t like to see you all sad and gloomy.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it please consider reblogging, liking and/or leaving some feedback. I'd really appreciate the support! <3

#leon kennedy x reader #luis sera x reader #luis serra x reader #jack krauser x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil headcanons #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #luis serra x you #jack krauser x you #reader insert #gn!reader #gender neutral reader

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rootsofdread · 1 year

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Some angst comfort idea now cuz we love to hurt our feelings 😔 Killer!Reader whose ability causes them a lot of pain but they have to use it to satisfy the Entity cuz otherwise a greater punishment waits for them

3 romantic (Leon, Ghostface and Jake) to 3 platonic (Amanda, Legion [again any or all how you prefer] and Sadako) ratio

This is the last one for now sorry if it's to much, take your time and know no matter what you'll write i will love it (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

this was a super cute one to do honestly 🥺

Leon S. Kennedy:

Leon used to see this as a free opportunity to run, but when he realized you were really in pain, when other killers couldn’t really feel pain…He was shocked. He started to wonder why the Entity would do something like this, give someone powers that hurt them. It was more twisted to him than anything else when he realized it.

He encourages you to use your powers against him. He hates that it hurts you, but he knows how scared you are of the Entity. He assures you he’ll be able to get away and you won’t have to hurt him more than that, you can move on to someone else after. He’s tough and he can take it.

He gets all up in arms when he hears other survivors poking fun at your abilities hurting you. He stands up for you when you aren’t around, saying you don’t deserve bullying on top of painful powers. He may not be the most intimidating guy, but he’s convinced a few other survivors to shut their mouths about it.

He goes easy on you during trials together. It just makes him feel better to not give you a hard time, makes him feel like he’s helping you somehow.

Jake Park:

Even though Jake was afraid of you for quite a while, always seeing you in pain slowly whittled him down. Seeing you flinch when you start using your powers, and nearly keel over when they run out. It was worrisome, even for someone as terrifying as you. He knew…This was something that definitely wasn’t normal. The pain, the fear. He hadn’t seen it before in other killers…

When he knows you better and is more comfortable, he’ll quietly tail you during trials, always hanging behind you to keep an eye out for you. He’s genuinely worried that you’ll end up passing out from pain one of these days.

He isn’t scared of you anymore, and will even run up or jump up to embrace you when your powers run out. He hates seeing you in so much pain like that, and wants to take it away from you. He knows he can’t, but he still tries.

He teaches you calming breathing exercises for when he’s not around to help you, to ease the pain yourself. If it helps you even the slightest bit…It gives him so much relief to know he’s helping you.

Danny Johnson / The Ghostface:

Danny is furious with the Entity for doing such a thing to you. It’s personal with him, because he knows the Entity likes him. And to continue threatening you after cursing you with such awful power, at that…He’s angry. It’s rare to see such intense emotion from him, but you see it every time he comes to you after a trial.

After your trials, he grabs you and holds you tightly. You can feel the rage in his grip, but it's comforting at the same time, knowing he's so angry on your behalf. You try to tell him it's not his problem, but he won't hear it. It is his problem.

He never wants to let you out of his sight, because he knows that if he keeps you close, it means you're not out there hurting yourself for the Entity's sick satisfaction.

He actually attempts to tell the Entity off, since he knows her more personally than some of the other killers. It doesn't ever really work, but it makes him feel a little better doing it for you. He hopes it helps you feel a little better, too.

Amanda Young / The Pig:

Like Danny, Amanda is pretty pissed off about it, too. You've done nothing wrong — at least, nothing that would warrant a punishment or threats like this. As a woman who doles out her own punishments, it makes her blood boil seeing an innocent caught up in it.

She's never…Quite sure what to do for you. She's not much of a hugger and comforting talks aren't really her forte. She tries for you, though. She holds your hand and tells you things will be alright, and that she’ll try to make everything better for you. Because making things better is her kind of thing.

She doesn’t know how she’ll make it better, though. But she will — she knows she will, for you. She’s always thinking of what she could do to make anything better for you. Usually it’s going out of her way to find and kill survivors that were previously in your trials, because she sees them as semi-responsible for what’s happening to you.

Ultimately, even if she's not the best at comforting, she wants you to know she's always there for you, and she'll always do her best to help you and solve your problems.

Frank Morrison / The Legion:

Frank knows what it’s like, getting hurt by your powers. It’s a killer coming out of Feral Frenzy for every Legion member. Solidarity is the most valuable thing to him, being able to relate to his friends and knowing what they’re going through. So trust and believe, even if he didn’t know what you were going through, he’d damn well try.

He’s always willing to hold you if and when you need it. He normally isn’t much of a touchy-feely kind of guy, but he thinks something like this probably warrants it. He knows you feel bad enough already, there’s no sense in making you feel worse by denying you any comfort.

And he’s always willing to listen to you, too. He’ll listen to your venting about the powers you’ve been burdened with or your fears of the Entity. He may not really be able to do anything about it…But he can listen.

He tries to teach you ways to take your mind off of the pain, like he does. Focusing on the task at hand, or on something else that makes you happy. He knows it isn’t the best solution in the world, but he knows it’s better than doing nothing and suffering, too.

Sadako Yamamura / The Onryō:

Sadako is always concerned for you. She sees the pain on your face when you’re punishing the survivors, you’re her friend and…There’s something wrong with you, your powers hurt you. They shouldn’t do that. Her nensha powers don’t hurt her. It upsets her sometimes, to see you hurt like that, to see you afraid of what would happen if you don’t hurt yourself.

She hates that the Entity makes you hurt yourself to satisfy herself. She’s an angry little girl, and this doesn’t help. You have to stop her from lashing out at other killers sometimes, and make sure she calms down. She also hates making you worry about her — but she can’t help it. She feels things strongly. She knows you don’t deserve this.

She always wants hugs after one of your trials to make sure you’re okay. She knows she likes hugs when she’s upset or hurt, she figures you must too. It’d be difficult to convince her otherwise, it’s difficult enough to get her off of you as it is. Not that you mind, really, it’s just…This girl has a death grip. How much she loves you is obvious.

She protects you when she can, like taking your place in trials. She doesn’t want you to get hurt, and she’ll do whatever she can to help that. She may be small, but she's fiercely protective of you.

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cosettepontmercys · 12 days

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I truly can’t pinpoint when/what exactly changed about Taylor’s fans/fandom but the last few years (especially the midnights release) has really soured things for me and it’s honestly quite disappointing as someone who genuinely enjoys her music and thinks she’s a great artists. how did we get to the point of not even being able to voice an opinion about taylor without being crucified online. or if heaven forbid you dislike a song/album or enjoy the work of one of her exes (john mayer, the 1975, calvin harris, etc)

i’ve always been very fascinated/intrigued by the relationship between celebrities and their fans. and i think it’s really interesting to look back and think about how taylor built her fanbase by making herself as palatable/relatable/approachable as possible. like secret sessions, t party/loft 89/rep room, swiftmas, lover diaries, etc — all of which allow for fan interaction — but also relies on people getting noticed which then in turn encourages people to be as vocal? extra? whatever it is. which then feeds into the "who is a bigger / better fan" competition. i'm speaking from personal experience here, as someone who has liked her since debut — but i think a lot of this is also rooted in how much of the world hated taylor swift prior to ... i want to say folklore, really — like it was deeply uncool to like taylor swift, to be a swiftie, etc. and because a lot of that early criticism was rooted so much in misogyny, i think fans felt the need to (over the years) defend her — and i was one of those! i still am, when i feel like people are criticizing her unfairly. but i think that lends into the "taylor swift has never done anything wrong, and she's perfect and if you disagree then you're against us and you're a fake fan" mentality.

and then i think there's an element of ... not necessarily a superiority complex, but a something among fans who have met taylor. it's a genius marketing move, intentions aside. taylor's music is very personal — and taylor's marketing, and persona is very personal, in a way that other artists prior to taylor weren't, i think. relatability sells. you can see it in the way that people talk about her, and her music. which is very different from the way people talk about other artists — and obviously there isn't anyone else out there with the amount of fame/popularity as her, but you don't see the same amount of fanfiction-writing personal-life-speculating-projection onto other artists' lyrics as you do with taylor. and i think that when someone is that vulnerable with their thoughts, it makes it easy for people to think that they know them personally.

and i think that — as much as i love taylor — it's important to talk about her white woman feminism mentality. and i think that also seeps into how her fanbase interacts with her. the ginny & georgia "joke" is what comes to mind the quickest, but there are countless instances of taylor's white woman feminism — and her benefiting from it. and obviously it was in her right to call out a misogynistic comment, especially one directed at her, but not saying anything when the actress got so much hate for a line she didn't write ... made me feel a bit 🥴. it's interesting to see who taylor will choose to align herself with, i guess is all i'm saying.

i've really taken a step back from taylor — not just because the fandom is exhausting ( the amount of things i've seen about her, joe, travis, etc. is ... something! it's all projection! we do not know anything about these people other than what they choose to show us! ) but also because of her saying that she wanted to be on the right side of history and then over and over again choosing to be increasingly passive and silent. she will call herself an ally but won’t even talk about queer rights; she won’t talk about the literal genocide that’s going on. gun control, abortion rights, anything at all. it's just "go vote" but even that is incredibly passive. but she will take time to remind us to buy new variants, and to stream her music, and that her ex sucks.

i think there was a huge shift that started with folklore/evermore, just given that there weren't a lot of albums being put out during that time, the overwhelming public reception to it — a lot of people who previously didn't care for (or disliked) taylor started to like her, to give her a second chance, etc. then we get into the rerecordings era/midnights/etc., which started off with fearless and nostalgia and then became "how quickly can i put out the next thing". and bailey @placeinthisworld posted this earlier, which i fully agree with. it's about the next award, the next milestone. it's just all quantity. it's overexposure.

and then we have the joe alwyn breakup and the public response to that was also ... interesting. like i saw people crying over it, or saying that love is a lie, removing things from their playlists, acting like they were the ones who had been broken up with. which is just ... odd, given that we aren't the ones in the relationship. and now there are all these comments about being a "joe defender". and then with taylor dating travis, it feels almost like some weird american pipe dream unfulfilled fantasy for so many people — the singer and the american football player. and obviously, i want her to be happy! i don't care who she dates! but i do think the public reception about her and travis has been ... incredibly odd, and i think that the way people talk about her and travis is just ... very ... off-putting and is very rooted in some weird ... stuff. "she finally gets to be small :(((((" is such a weird thing to say. it feels like there's even more projection and self-insert-y stuff with her dating travis, which is a level i did not think was possible from her fans (and more so, the general public).

i have not felt this ... detached and impassive about a taylor release, ever, and it just makes me incredibly sad because i love her music, and am excited about the work, just not excited about the public reception, the public autopsy of her and joe's relationship, or the noise, and i know that internet spaces (and spaces in general) are what we curate, but it's also difficult when she is everywhere.

#so sorry this took so long to reply to! i was out of town!#post: answered #ts critical

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twstbookclub · 1 month

Text

Faded Away

SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 INCLUDED; THIS IS AN AU. THIS IS SIDE A OF A TWO PART STORY. HERE IS SIDE A.

This is side B.

Inspired by Fade Away by Riley Baron Summary: Childhood friends with Malleus, you were even supposed to marry him. You'd call him your fiancé, but he'd shoot you down with a smile. One day, Maleficia would announce that you would no longer be engaged to Malleus, but you had already decided to renounce that before, so it was okay. For Malleus, after experiencing loss in his life, everything he adored before began to fade away. Pronouns: Gender Neutral POV: 2nd Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Malleus Draconia, Changed fate, Childhood friends to lovers, lovers to strangers, angst with a sad ending, hurt no comfort Word count: 3,961

A/N: … sigh. If someone had told me a year ago that I would write nearly 4,000 words for Malleus Draconia angst, I would've laughed in their face. Despite that, I wrote this for two days and edited it for another two. I fixated on this man for FOUR DAYS nonstop, listening to playlists about falling in love with your comfort character but then saying goodbye, and I am still not done. I am genuinely proud of this work. Out of the 7 years I have been writing fanfiction, I have never been so happy to say this is one of my best works. And I don't really like Malleus like that. Attack me all y'all want, I know book 7 spoilers, and I was his stan(not simp) until I found out the truth and had to take a step BACK. I don't know what I feel about him now, but as a Silver girlie, I need someone to take the pen away from Yana Toboso.

Regardless of my feelings, I am glad I could write this and that the story turned out amazing. As I said, I'm not done, and I have another fic posting as soon as this one drops, so don't stray too far.

On that note, thank you for waiting and reading this long, longer than I would like to admit story. Enjoy.

The horns of this child were small, but the eyes of another child were fascinated at the sight of such a mature boy. The boy’s name was Malleus Draconia, the future King of Briar Valley. You were told that you would become his fiance when you grew up. You could feel your heart instantly pound and become fond of this young royal. You had already known him prior, growing up around the same time, and your families were somewhat close. Still, you couldn’t have imagined being able to marry him later down the line. He was aloof and neutral as a child, speaking to you when you would talk to him and only if he had a response. You loved him that way, anyway.

“You’re my… fiance?”

“I am! Don’t worry; I won’t go anywhere if it’s not with you!”

“Hmm… Then I can accept that.”

Growing up as teenagers was slightly different. It took some years, but he would begin to warm up to you. He would smile occasionally and accept the way you would call him “my fiance”, but still turn you down for the time being. Witnessing him become stressed caused a pang of guilt in your heart. Still, you’d quickly dissipate the feeling by messing around and seeing him feel better with your company.

“My fiance should be calm the way he usually is. How can his kingdom stay calm if he is not?”

Malleus would usually stare at you after you said things like that, then respond with, “You’re right… Alright. I will do that, but I’m not your fiance.”

Then, like clockwork, you’d laugh at him before responding, “Okay, okay, Prince Malleus. Whatever you say.”

Now, Malleus finally returned from studying at Night Raven College and settled back into his past routine. It took some months, since now there were new things he needed to learn before he could become king. He would follow without a complaint, though.

He was standing in a throne room, checking on documents and plans for the kingdom. You would simply trot in with your hands behind your back as you would often do, admiring him as your shoes would click against the floor.

“My fiance is working so hard already?” You teased, being playful and wanting to catch his attention.

“I’m not your fiance.” Malleus would say with a concentrated tone, his gruff voice echoing through the large room as the sound of documents being flipped echoed.

“Right. King Malleus.” You stopped walking to give him a bow and then approached his side. You moved your hand to cling to his arm, but knowing your behavior, he already had an arm out for you.

“Not king either. I haven’t had my coronation yet. Queen Malecifia is planning that as we speak,” Malleus spoke again, then set down the documents and turned to you, his hair slightly swaying with his movement. His green eyes stared down at you, and then he captured a slight smile on his lips. “What is it that you need from me?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to see you and waste your time. I truly hope I am a bother,” you spoke playfully and took one of the loose documents into your hands to read through it. Malleus quickly took the paper before you could get too far into reading it. Right. Kingdom affairs.

Malleus gives you a look before sighing and pulling a chair out. “If I let you touch my horns, could you let me work?” He spoke, moving to sit down beside where you were standing. You grew excited at the opportunity to play with his horns and instantly went quiet to do so. You stood behind him and carefully adjusted his hair while examining every detail of the feature in front of you.

The atmosphere was quiet yet peaceful. Time felt like it was still, pen scratching paper occasionally sounds through the large room. Your hands gently held his horns, caressing them to remind yourself of its sharp and enticing structure.

Memories of childhood played through your mind as you watched him read these documents, soft breaths coming from him as his focus never broke. You did this exact thing all the time with him, especially during his study hours.

“Why do you like my horns so much?” Malleus spoke, suddenly breaking the silence and surprising you out of your trance. You thought about it momentarily, trying to find the right words to explain it, but you couldn't find a single word for how. Instead, you explained it the best you could.

“Hmm… I don’t know. There’s something about seeing these horns that gives me some reassurance. Relief that I can still be your future beloved.” you answered before fixing his hair again. Messing with him like this felt right. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, being his future partner was something of fate. There were others out there with royal status just like you. Queen Maleficia could’ve replaced or sent you away, but she hadn’t. You were thankful every time you saw his grandmother.

“I see… You’re an odd one,” Malleus spoke softly, a faint breath being heard from him as he felt your hands let go of him. “You let go. Is something the matter?”

Malleus noticed you stayed quiet but didn’t hear you move either. So, he turned around, his breath catching at what he saw. His eyes were met with your side profile, your lips curling into a grin. Your eyes reflected the light like glass, and your hands fell to his shoulders.

“It’s the first snow of the season,” you said, mesmerized by the view. Your quiet voice showed just how enchanted you were. Malleus had an idea of how others felt about the first snow. All he took in from when you explained the moment to him was how special it could be for lovers.

Every time the first snow would fall, he’d watch from the window of his study how you admired the snowflakes as if you’d never seen them before. He watched you do this for years as if it was routine. Hell, it would be weird if he didn’t see you out there.

Malleus took your wrist and made his way out towards the courtyard. He’s the one taking you out there this time? You could only follow and keep your excitement at bay from his behavior.

Arriving outside, Malleus fixed your winter cape, ensuring you wouldn’t feel too cold. He leaned against a wall as you played and tried to catch the snowflakes. Your smile was as bright as the white sky, and he would just stand there, watching you without a word, but more as if he was in thought.

You noticed this and took a moment to gather some snow from the ground, putting it behind your back before moving towards him. “Are you alright? You seem to be lost in thought,” you asked, making him snap out of his trance to look at you.

“I’m fine. I’m simply reminded of my time at the college from seeing all this snow. Why do you a—”

Crunch.

He sighed, keeping his eyes closed before saying one thing. “... Why?’

Malleus was cut off by the impact of a snowball hitting his face. The icy crystals caused his skin to feel colder than it already was. He wiped the snow off his face as he witnessed you begin to back away. Every step back from you was a step forward for him, and you noticed how he had a straight-faced expression. You laughed nervously and grabbed his wrists, trying to hold him back.

“I just wanted to get your attention, Malleus!” You tried to explain, yelping when he would tower over you, but you would only find it all amusing. Malleus would chuckle, grabbing and throwing snow at you, not aiming for your face like you had done to him.

This went on for a few minutes, enjoying the back-and-forth attacks, while the snow piled onto the ground through the mid-winter day. At one point, Malleus would grab you by the waist to keep you from straying too far away from him. The gesture felt nice, but also intimate as he’d only do this to stop you from being clumsy.

You held onto his arms and stepped back slowly, moving towards a stone pillar, while your eyes didn’t leave him. You glanced between his eyes, lips, and the horns you loved seeing. Even after he held you against the cold stone, there wasn’t anything to worry about, but him.

You felt nervous while giving his arms a light squeeze, and he carefully brushed his cold fingertips against your cheek, making you relax with your head leaning into his slight touch. Soon, his hand cupped your cheek to tilt your head, keeping you in place this time.

Finally, your eyes stayed on his lips. His green eyes admired your features to remember them down to the last detail. Your mingled breaths hit each other’s faces from the close proximity, then Malleus leaned close, his lips inching closer to yours.

It was cut short, though. You turned to the sound of someone clearing their throat, but your body would stop what it was doing and let go of Malleus, instantly bowing at the sight of a familiar lady.

Malleus would turn around next. His breathing was slightly uneven from getting caught in the act, but he’d still bow and greet the woman in the courtyard with them.

“Queen Maleficia, what brings you out here during this weather?” Malleus began first, slowly coming up with you to stand correctly.

“It is good to see you, Queen Maleficia.” You followed after, giving Malleus’s grandmother a warm smile.

“Not much, my dear. I’m glad to see you taking a break,” Maleficia returned the greeting and gave a smile as well. She’d soon drop that expression, though. “I need to speak to you about something important.”

Your body would tense up again, and you took that as a cue to leave them alone, so you bowed and took a step forward. “I’ll leave you be, then—”

“You aren’t going anywhere. You are part of this too.” Maleficia spoke earnestly, and she rarely had to speak in such a way to you. The last time you heard those words was when she scolded you and Malleus for disappearing to Lilia’s home.

Those words always made you nervous, especially since they usually meant something was wrong. You could only turn around and smile again.

“Right. I apologize for my assumption, Your Majesty,” you said carefully, instantly seeing Malleus turn to you with a look of curiosity.

Standing before Queen Maleficia, now in her study, you held your hands as Malleus stood near the high bookshelves. His grandmother stared out of her window briefly before taking a breath.

“Malleus.” Queen Maleficia began to speak, turning around to face you and Malleus somberly. “Your coronation is being planned, as you know, but something must be done before you can become king. You know what that is, correct?”

Malleus grew confused, but his eyes would widen slightly once he understood. “Marriage. What of it?”

As soon as Malleus answered, the woman would look towards you and smile lightly. “That’s correct. What do you plan to do about that?”

You stare at Malleus briefly before looking at Maleficia again, then smile softly. “I do want to marry the prince. That has not changed since we were children.”

Maleficia looked away from you, and then she made her way to stand in front of you. “That, my child, is what I can no longer allow. I am sorry.”

Your eyes widened, and you saw Malleus perk up at the corner of your eye. He was shocked as well. “What…?” Is that the only thing you could say?

“What are you talking about?” Malleus sounded off. You couldn’t look at him. Your eyes would stay on the Queen before you, still in disbelief.

“This is the best course of action. Forgive me, my child.”

“Queen M—No. Grandmother, what in the world are you referring to? Answer me!” Malleus began to demand, moving you back and getting ahead of Maleficia.

“Malleus, believe me, this was not easy.”

“I did not ask if it was easy. I did not ask if you’ve thought of this for weeks or months. I asked for an explanation, grandmother,” Malleus spoke sternly, going against Maleficia, which he had not done before. Maleficia was growing angry, but she remained calm regardless.

“I am doing this for you, for the kingdom of Briar Valley; to end a war before it could begin. You will do your duty as the future ruler of this kingdom.”

“You think the kingdom can decide who will be my partner in marriage for the rest of my life? You did that when I was a child! I went along with it and accepted it the first time as it was!” Malleus also grew angry at the way the events were unfolding. He had accepted everything without complaint, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut this time. This isn’t what he wanted.

“Now, Queen Maleficia, you wish to choose someone new? Someone I haven’t known my entire life and someone I cannot trust?”

“You will understand that as the future king. You do not need them as your fiance, and that is final. You will be marrying someone from another kingdom to stop us from going to war.” Maleficia had grown strict, firm even. Anyone else wouldn’t dare argue, not even you. You could only stay quiet from the words you were hearing. Your heart began to feel heavy from guilt as if it were a burden.

“What good will that do!? I do not need someone to help me run my life or the kingdom that will be under my wing some time from now!”

“I did it for you! I do not wish to see you become like your parents! You are my only grandson, and I lost your mother to war and the son, your father, I never had just before that. I raised you! Lilia and I were the ones who kept you alive. So, as your grandmother, I want you to keep yourself safe. Do this for yourself.” Maleficia was like a pleading mother. She needed Malleus to understand.

It was all so confusing to you. Malleus was trying to fight, but was it for you or him? Was it for his freedom? Did he love you? No. That couldn’t be it. You had to do something before he would do something drastic. You had to stop him before he could argue more.

Silence.

Your hand wrapped around his own. Malleus froze from the sudden touch. “It’s okay,” you began softly, putting on a smile before looking up at Malleus.

The touch reminded you of when you snuck into his study as a teenager. You felt stressed once due to your studies and responsibilities becoming a large pile, and Malleus would hold your hand to put you at ease. He helped you with your studies by tutoring and keeping you focused, but concentrating was still difficult with your distant lover just inches away from you during that time.

That short-lived memory was enough to make you agree to this. You loved him, but it was confusing. He was distant, but sometimes not. You loved him, but it was time.

“Hey, Malleus?”

“Hmm?”

“What would it be like if I was only your friend, but never your fiance?”

A young Malleus had to think about that, but only one answer came to his mind.

“I would’ve figured out how to become your fiance again.”

Back to the decision before you, you smiled more before looking at Maleficia and squeezing Malleus’ hand lightly.

“I understand, Queen Maleficia. I apologize for no longer meeting your expectations,” you said respectfully. Malleus stared down at you with wide eyes, his hand starting to squeeze yours while it was still in his grasp.

“Don’t say that. You don’t need to do that—”

You shook your head and looked at him, clenching your free hand around his arm to cling to him. “I… wanted to talk to you, anyway. I’d call you my fiance, but you always turned me down. You said you simply accepted the necessity of my obligation as your lover. Now that we have to say our goodbyes, it worked out fine, did it not? I won’t fuss about this decision, as I have no say in the kingdom’s political matters. So, I will simply wish you happiness and good fortune in your marriage, Prince Malleus.”

“What are you talking about? You don’t know a thing.” Malleus whispered and took both of your hands into his, trying to keep himself calm in the midst of all of the mess. “I only rejected you because I wanted to properly propose to you. Only at the right moment between us and—”

“Hey… you don’t have to say any of that. You don’t need to. This is your kingdom. I am simply someone who had to be your lover.” Those words hurt for you to say, and Malleus looked… scared for once. In the time that you’d ever known him, he was the only person you loved. Malleus couldn’t let go of your hand or look away from you. You would disappear, he felt. Hearing those words come out of your mouth was painful enough as is.

You could only give him a bitter smile and force him to let go. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” you whisper and bow to Maleficia, then to Malleus. “Thank you. If you’ll excuse me.”

You smile once more before swiftly leaving before anything else could happen. The longer you walked, the more your legs felt like jelly. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to leave. You wanted nothing more but to go back and take back your words. To fight for Malleus. Yet, you would never go against the crown.

Malleus simply stood there in disbelief with his eyes glued to the door. Maleficia reached out to her grandson, but as soon as her hand landed on his shoulder, he slapped it off. He looked at his grandmother with a look of nothing. Agony. A heart-wrenching anguish clouded his mind and judgment once you had left the room.

He didn’t want the touch of anyone else but you. How could he lose you so easily? His whole life, he had always gotten what he wanted. Yet, the one time he asked, begged, and pleaded for something in his life, it was stripped away right before his fingertips. Malleus’ body was on auto-pilot from the harsh reality. Then, he moved out of the study, but when he looked up, his body froze at the sight of you running out of the castle.

It was all his fault. He didn’t fight hard enough. Now, he had lost you. How could the Seven betray him so? He never thought that it would be so easy to leave him. To abandon the memories just because someone else requested it.

Once you felt the harsh wind and snow, your eyes began to water. Soon, your heavy breaths turned into heaving sobs. Before you knew it, you found yourself in the forest. How did you even get here? How far did your tired legs get you? What torture could you endure in this state? Then…

Every memory with Malleus started to flash through your head.

Every dance.

Every laugh.

Every touch.

Every look.

Everything.

Your heaving sobs became screams of heartbreak. Agonized cries echoed throughout the quiet and dark forest of Briar Valley. You couldn’t feel the cold anymore. The cold didn’t matter when it felt like you left a piece of yourself in the castle.

Malleus leaned against the wall from the window that he watched you disappear from, closing his eyes when he could hear your cries despite how far you actually were. He couldn’t do anything to fix it this time, not when you were convinced.

Meeting his new fiance was unbearable for Malleus, but he tolerated it. He never remembered any interaction he had with the woman he was supposed to marry now. The wedding was memorable for everyone but him, and you weren’t there. He knew you wouldn’t be there, but he would still smile to himself when he remembered things.

But then it wasn’t too long, maybe a couple of years, until the kingdom celebrated Malleus and his coronation. Everyone with royal status and Malleus' close friends were invited to the after-party celebration. You went alone and stood on the balcony outside, listening to everyone enjoy their festivities. You hadn’t heard about Malleus since you last stepped foot here. It felt like forever ago.

“I didn’t think you would show up. Not after what happened the last time.”

The familiar voice made you perk up and turn around, seeing his tall figure standing at the curtain’s frame. You stood at the stone barricade and smiled slightly at Malleus, bowing to him.

“I didn’t think you would seek my company, King Malleus.”

“That title sounds… weird coming from you,” he admitted, making you both laugh. You look at the horizon to watch the setting sun, going quiet along with him. You had to break the silence.

“So, how are you and your queen?” You asked, causing Malleus to look at you.

“She is fine. She’s expecting, so she’s taking care of herself instead,” Malleus said, being careful with his words, but you wanted to hide behind your old, playful attitude.

“You were quite fast, weren’t you?” You responded with a laugh, but you could feel your heart breaking already.

“It’s been about two years since we last conversed. I don’t think that’s too fast,” Malleus spoke casually, but you would notice how he looked at you somberly, almost as if he didn’t like it as much as you did.

“I see. I wish the Queen and your child a safe and easy journey.” You said quietly, sounding a bit melancholic. You had to force those words out, and Malleus simply nodded to accept your wishes.

His look made you narrow your eyes towards the ground, not wanting to look at him as you knew it would only cause you more heartbreak.

“Malleus…” You called out quietly, sighing and leaning against the stone.

“Don’t say anything,” he whispered, looking out into the horizon just like you did moments ago.

After a few minutes of silence, the sun had finally set, turning the sky dark with the moon’s light shining down on you and Malleus.

“Thank you,” you broke the silence first amidst the faint clamor of festivities behind you, “for the chance to be with you for so long.”

Malleus looked at you, then you looked at him in return. These looks turned into stares. Stares felt like time froze. It was you and him again, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You engraved the details of his face into your head, and he was doing the same for you. When he broke the silence, the bubble around you two still hadn’t popped.

“You were a wonderful experience,” he said sincerely, giving you a smile.

You smiled back, but before you could respond, others called Malleus over. He tried to stay there, but he was forced away. He was only able to take one more look at you before he disappeared. He faded away like a light swallowed by a deep darkness, which was so strange. It was only a change.

You still kept your smile after he left. Now, you could say what you wanted.

“You were… everything.”

#twst malleus #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst wonderland #disney #writing #romance #angst #twst angst #angst with a sad ending #hurt no comfort #im hurtin #hurt #no comfort

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drarrily-we-row-along · 2 months

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Hey friends. I always promised that I would write a disclaimer if I ever wrote something sad. So here is that disclaimer: this is sad. Harry is also experiencing some internalized “ace-phobia”, if you will. Just really struggling to believe that being ace is ever enough in a relationship with someone who is not. Yes, the author is hardcore projecting on the poor character.

“I’m sorry,” Draco said, and it sounded sincere, even Harry could hear the ring of truth to it over the splintering sound of his heart. “I just,” Draco swallowed, looked down at the glass in his hands, “I think living alone would be what’s better for me right now.”

Harry nodded, shoving down the emotions, pushing back the hurt, the yearning, as he forced a smile, “no. For sure,” he said, keeping his voice light, pushing every ounce of happy-for-you-undertone that he could. “Yeah. You have to do what’s best for you,” he agreed, and he meant it, even though it hurt the way that it hurt when you sliced open your foot on a piece of glass; sudden and sharp, terribly painful in its unexpectedness.

“It’s not you,” Draco said, reaching across the table and squeezing Harry’s hand, giving him a smile and Harry wondered what the other man could see on his face. “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you,” he said.

He nodded, “right. I get it.”

“And you can come over all the time, we can have a movie night whenever we want since I won’t have Pansy and Blaise to worry about.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. Smiling, smiling, smiling. Please Godric, let it be enough that Draco can’t see past it. “Yeah. That sounds great,” he agreed.

“Dinner once a week,” he promised, “and we can cook together!”

He nodded, plastering the smile even harder to his face, “I’d love that,” he said. Not as much as he would have loved doing the shopping together, and cooking together in their shared space but… best not to think about it.

“I love you too much to live with you,” Draco said, like that made any sense at all.

“Yeah,” he said, pushing down the tears threatening to spill, heart throbbing in his throat. “I love you too,” he said. Not too much, he thought, more than his body could hold sometimes but not so much that he couldn’t live with the other man.

“I’m sorry,” Draco said again.

And Harry wanted to make up a lie, wanted to tell Draco he had another appointment or something, but Draco was his best friend. More than that, Harry had thought. They’d started planning a life together; he’d told Draco everything, given him his entire heart. Draco had said that he wanted Harry forever too. Harry’s worked so hard to actually believe him. But that was probably just the mixed signals that Harry sent, confusing everyone that he loved because he couldn’t love them in the way that they wanted. “Don’t be. I still have Ron and Hermione.”

“You could try living alone too,” Draco offered, and Harry knew it was because of the conversations they’d had, about how hard it could be living with people who were in love. About how alone Harry felt even when he was in the same room as them sometimes.

He knew Draco was trying to offer a good solution, “nah,” he said, aiming for casual and hoping that he hadn’t missed the mark by as much as it felt like he had. “I don’t do well on my own. It’s okay. I’m okay,” he assured.

“Okay,” Draco said, giving him a little smile. “I toured an apartment today.”

“Oh,” he said, “tell me about it!” And he let himself get lost in Draco’s joy, lost in how excited he was for his own adventure.

“And it just feels right, you know?” Draco asked when he finished describing his viewing.

“I’m really glad,” he said, genuinely because he loved Draco. Loved him with his entire heart and wanted what was good for him. But he couldn’t say he understood. He couldn’t. Because all Harry wanted was to be able to come home to Draco at the end of the day. All Harry wanted was someone to sit on the sofa with and eat dinner with. He wanted to be able to take care of Draco, to love him on his hard days and to listen to his stories. Harry wanted a place to come home to where he could just shut off the facade, could just be Harry.

But they didn’t want the same things. That was clearer now than it had ever been. Someday, Draco was going to get married. Someday, he’d fall in love with someone else, someone who could love him the same way, someone whose body wasn’t broken, someone who’d want to have sex with him. Someday, he’d meet someone who could be enough, who would have the capacity to accept the love that Draco felt like was too much for Harry.

And Harry wouldn’t deny him that. He wouldn’t stand in the way. It didn’t matter that Harry loved Draco with everything that he had, with all that he was, in every way that he was capable of loving another human. It wasn’t enough.

It hadn’t ever been before Draco. It had been foolish to believe that could have changed.

How could he have hoped that it might be now? How could he have let himself dream that he might ever be enough for the best person he knew?

He loved Draco more than anything, so he did the only thing that he knew how to do.

He loved him with every beat of his bruised and bloodied heart. Harry set aside his own needs, his own wants, his own desires and loved Draco in the way that he needed and not in the way that Harry wanted. Harry set aside his hopes, and dreams, the plans they’d made together and begged his heart to be happy for the other man.

Be good, he begged himself. Be kind.

Love was sacrifice. How could he have let himself forget?

#drarry #sad #ace harry potter #like seriously. this is v sad. the author is v sad. please don’t read this if you’re looking for a pick me up #just processing the hurt #trying to learn how to love more than I desire to be loved #yes. we are actively dumping our trauma on this poor baby #sad sad sad

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spooky-pomegranate · 2 months

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A letter from Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Summary: Ghost writes you a letter after Price unexpectedly sends you into witness protection, breaking your heart. With a looming threat of an attack from a terrorist organization on the horizon, Ghost urges you to mend fences with Price or at least play nice until the enemy is thwarted. Should you hear him out?

I’m not sure how to start this. All I can hope for is that you won’t throw this letter into the ocean until you’ve finished reading it. I’ve heard Laswell sent you somewhere on the beach. That’s nice I guess. I’m not a big fan of the ocean, but I know most people are. Maybe you are. You and I never talked about anything like that, but maybe you did with Johnny? He’s a big fan of the water. He’s always yammering on about wanting to take a vacation somewhere tropical. He says tropical resorts just have ‘better water sports.’ Whatever that means. Maybe Laswell can send him your way when he starts feeling better. I know he’d like to spend the time with you. He’s a fan of yours. Kyle too. They’ve told me a lot about you over these last few days.

And I want to apologize for that. Not for listening to them, but for not listening to you. I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you on my own. You have to understand John is my brother. I don’t mean in some ‘brother in arms’ sort of bullshit way. I mean I consider him my family, my kin, my blood. He’s the closest thing I have to the real thing these days, so I’m protective of him, but I’ve done it in a way that has been unkind toward you.

I was suspicious of you when we first met. I thought that your entrance into John’s life was going to bring him harm. Whether you were going to do so maliciously or in a less nefarious way I wasn’t quite sure. But I was wrong and I’d like to apologize to you.

You have changed John. He's more at ease now than I've seen him in years. He laughs more. So much more, and it's a sound that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get out of my head. It's not a funny laugh, but one filled with genuine joy. It's stupid and infectious and it even has started to rub off on Johnny and Kyle. They both look less tense these days.

But you haven’t just made John a different man outside of the field, somehow you’ve changed him on it too. He fights differently. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say he’s more focused now. More determined. It’s like he’s fighting not just for the mission objective, but for something beyond it. Something personal. Maybe that’s just what it looks like when someone fights beyond duty or honor. I’m not sure. But you’ve made him a better soldier and leader for it. So thank you because I don’t think I would be here without your effect on him. What happened at the hangar is the closest we’ve come to death in a long time and I know that’s probably shaken John more than he’s let on.

If you are still reading this, I have a favor to ask of you. I know I don’t have any right to. My initial skepticism and rudeness toward you probably caused you a lot of pain, and for that, I am truly sorry. But John needs your help. So please come back to the States and help him end these terrorists for good.

I don’t know what’s been said between you, but I’m sure you’re in the right. Don’t tell him I said this but John tends to be a stubborn ass. So please forgive him. Or at least, help him through this and I promise I’ll keep him from you for as long as you wish.

I’ll be in your debt.

Sincerely,

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

P.S. You two weren’t as sly as you thought. It wasn’t hard to see something more was going on between you when you wreaked like an ashtray all the time and I’ve never seen you smoke.

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(More from this story on AO3)

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loaksky · 2 months

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hi, everyone. i want to be very candid for a moment...

while i still do write for tlou, and plan to officially resume posting at the beginning of march, i’ve pumped the breaks a lot on posting in general because the internet has grown to be quite overwhelming for me.

truthfully, i don’t typically post in response to current events because i’m the kind of person who begins catastrophizing and feeling extremely helpless in light of what is going on in the world, but i think it’s important to hold myself accountable in recognizing that it is such a disgustingly implicit privilege to be able to log off and disconnect once i do get overwhelmed.

palestinian people do not have the privilege to log off and disconnect. and as someone who has an albeit small following in comparison to my peers, even a single person i can urge to take the smallest of actions is one step closer to change.

i've reblogged a few posts about gaza and the genocide going on, but i haven’t made a full or direct statement in hopes of keeping it light-hearted on this blog as i know that often times people use the internet and fanfiction as an escape. but it’d be a disservice not to.

understandably not everyone can donate, but please don’t succumb to the silence. palestine is relying on us to be loud so that they can be heard. share important links, show solidarity by supporting organizations dedicated to helping those in need, have those difficult conversations even if it makes you uncomfortable. do what you can. humanity shouldn’t be circumstantial.

here are a few links to get started:

a carrd compilation curated by other collective of relevant links | click to help palestine

and finally, i know that some of you will part ways with me and this blog after this. any disrespectful comments or asks won’t be entertained and will be deleted. similarly, while i have zero issues losing followers, especially over something as important as this, i do genuinely implore those of you on your way out to truly mull over the state of the world and find it in your hearts to show even a shred of sympathy and compassion to palestinian families, men, women, children, the elderly.

they only seek to live peacefully like the rest of the world does.

#neng's brain ִ ࣪𖤐

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neet-elite · 7 months

Text

Hazy Daze — (SDV) Sebastian

Pairing: Sebastian / Reader Genre: Smut 18+ WC: 3,996 Warnings: Drug use, exhibitionism, voyeurism, submissive Sebastian, dry humping Synopsis: He just can’t help himself, fixation holding strong to his heart as he looks at you with half closed eyes, his chest thumping with a slow consistent rhythm of want. Anyone else would be able to easily give a name to what he’s feeling, but he’s too in awe to fully recognise it himself. Or well, maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to. Far too content with looking, not wise enough to act.

A/N: I've been incredibly busy in-between writing my own novel, redecorating my whole room, moving and building furniture, as well as private and family matters. In any case, I finally managed to finish this piece! I hope it's okay!

He just can’t help himself, fixation holding strong to his heart as he looks at you with half closed eyes, his chest thumping with a slow consistent rhythm of want. Anyone else would be able to easily give a name to what he’s feeling, but he’s too in awe to fully recognise it himself. Or well, maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to. Far too content with looking, not wise enough to act.

Selfishly, he’s put himself in a situation where he’s completely unaware of his surroundings besides you. That is to say, he can’t take his eyes off the way your hair falls to frame your face, committing every strand to memory in an effort to keep a clearer picture of you in his head for when you have to leave him tonight. The thought of which causes his heart to tug for a moment, until he finds that he can’t stop himself from smiling at the full laughter you belt out, the lines in your pretty face at the genuine joy you express. He’s fucked if you ask him what you’re laughing about, head empty beyond the thought of how cute your outfit is and how well you suit the style. There’s not any activity in his dumb mind that doesn’t include you and how pretty you are, and how unfair it is, and how he simultaneously loves your shirt and wants to remove it in equal measure. And sure enough, slowly, his eyes trail over you from head to toe, and then back up again, repeating the process for God knows how long as you smoke a new blunt in front of him.

He’s happy your schedule was free enough to hang out tonight, enjoying the view of his crush taking up space on his bed, like you should always be doing.

It’s unclear to him just how long he’s been staring, lost in how red your eyes are after another inhale, his own vision blurred by the obscuring smoke as you exhale and the half lidded gaze he watches you with. And yet still, you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. He just can’t stop staring, his tongue poking against the inside of his cheek in flirtatious annoyance. How dare you be so pretty, he thinks to himself. How can someone be so cute and so oblivious about it at the same time? Deep rooted infatuation growing tight around his chest as you hand him the blunt, his reactions slowed due to hot boxing himself with you, as well as a selfish need to keep staring. He can’t wipe the grin from his face, not even as your gaze drops to his lap, your expression falling in tow.

For a moment, he doesn’t hear you say anything, too happy with taking another hit and holding it in, chest puffed out as he lags behind your actions. It’s not something he does on purpose, exhaling the smoke with control and slowly swatting it out his way just in time so that he can see the pretty smile return on your face. That’s it— he’d be quite pleased if this is how he spent the rest of his night. Watching, leaning back against his bed headboard as you sit cross legged at the other end. You don’t even have to talk to him for you to be the best way for him to spend his time; your company is all he needs. All he wants, really. But he won’t decline some conversation as he sees your mouth fall open a little dumbly, a throb of cute catching his breath for a second.

“Hey, Seb…” You finally grab his full attention, and he eventually meets your gaze after a few sluggish seconds. It’s not his fault, he’s high as a kite and in love— the stupid dopey grin on his face evident of both those facts. That, and the way he melts into your voice, leaning forward a little at how soft and lethargic you sound, a hum crawling up his throat to signal that he’s heard you. He can’t muster up anything stronger when his head and vision is full of you.

Hearing you clear your throat catches his attention some more though, and anxiety wells up in his chest. More than anything he wants to prolong his time with you, wants so badly to ask if you’re okay, if you’ve had enough or if he’s somehow upset you. Anything to keep you by his side. But he takes too long to voice his concerns, and what he hears you follow up with is— “Are you… Touching yourself?”

The way you ask it so matter-of-factly sends a shock through him, a sobering second coursing through his body as his eyes immediately fall to where you’re staring right between his legs. The hand he thought was unoccupied is currently stroking his cock, a rock hard tent in his tight pants on full display as he continues to pet himself gently despite the depravity of it all. He clearly hadn’t noticed he was touching himself to the mere sight of you, especially given that he doesn’t stop immediately upon seeing the perverted evidence right in front of him, and the recognition of such blatant degeneracy only serves to turn him on some more. It’d be easy to blame it on the weed, but it’s clear even to him that he’s this dirty deep down, the drug in his system only lowering his inhibitions enough to openly show you his desires too. His body heats up in response to the cute giggle you sound as he rests his palm flat against his cock, equal parts ashamed and excited to be hard in front of you as he gasps into his touch. The blunt is discarded in the ashtray in favour of more pressing matters, like his cock against his jeans.

“S-sorry.” He stutters out, not because he is, but because he feels like he should be. He’s still too self serving to look away from you as a sheepish smiles makes its way onto his face. “I didn’t—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” You quickly reassure him, and he squeezes his eyes shut tight for the first time tonight to stop himself from outwardly moaning at how kind you’re being. Surely you should be disgusted, right? You should treat him like the dirty little pervert he is; touching himself in front of you so overtly? Awful, disgusting, perverted little—

“I didn’t tell you to stop.”

Oh, that makes his cock twitch. A greedy groan escaping his smoke dried throat despite his best efforts to remain somewhat restrained while his hand once again plays with himself at your command. Or, at least he thinks it’s a command. It’s difficult to tell when he’s so high and his judgement is clouded by how much he wants you, but when you don’t stop him he figures he’s guessed correctly. It all feels a bit surreal to him, a wet dream come true. He’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t loving your attention, your carefully picked words directing his actions, following your lead like a lost puppy. Like his body is working on autopilot, unaware of what he’s doing until it’s too late— that’s the kind of effect you have on him.

He’s slow with it. A gentle tug up and down, letting his palm circle his leaking tip every now and then just to elicit some moans for your enjoyment as he goes back to staring. It’s what he does best he thinks, been watching you ever since you came to the valley. Always stalking, keeping a close eye on you as you go about daily life. It’s a bit concerning just how much he adores you, how even in this moment he’d do anything just to keep your eyes on him for a change, basking in the way you look so innocent as he rubs one out for you, how you asked so sweetly for him to continue, his eyes rolling back for just a second as his hips jut against his palm in a seeking for more. More contact, more watching, and more being watched. He can barely contain himself already, his fingers twitching against the constraint of his tight jeans, itching for a chance to grab at himself more— but he’s been patient in waiting for you for this long, so he wills himself to wait a little more no matter how frustrating it might be. There’s no way of knowing just how long he’s already been touching himself, and so he does his best through his drug addled mind to try and stay focused, but you make it so difficult for him with your pretty smile.

It’s due to his incessant staring that he catches your tongue poking out, a playful lick of your lips as you too stare back at him; though not at his face. Down between his legs where he paws at himself with no shame or end simply because you said so. And he can feel in the pit of his stomach a weight; a want to perform well for you. It’s always been there, he knows, but the weed has made it easier for him to show you, and perhaps easier for you to accept. His cock throbs at the thought, leaking over himself from the light touches he gives it.

Your voice is low at your next command, but he hears you loud and clear. The previous brain fog disappointing with each stroke of his cock, every little gasp you let out convincing him to pay more attention. “Faster.”

He’s all too happy to oblige.

His legs instinctively stretch out upon your next request, opening wide so that he can get a better grip of his cock as he plays with himself, a quick up and down to leave him panting before you. Still he stares right at you, wincing into how good he feels to be a dirty pervert right in front of you. And not only that, but to have you encourage him, with your words and with how you look at him in what looks like a mix of shock and excitement. He’s been careful not to give off creep vibes to you before, but there’s no denying it now: he’s nothing but a no good degenerate, and you’ve caught his eye. Still he’s desperate. And greedy, more importantly, to test your limits.

“Can I, uh… Get it out?” He struggles with his words, half gasped and mumbled through gritted teeth of pleasure.

“You wanna?” You question him back, and it’s embarrassing just how much he adores your cocky attitude.

Though no words escape him, he nods his head slowly, caught up in the feeling of rubbing his slit with the heel of his palm and wanting more freedom to display how rotten he truly is.

But you make him wait, a teasing smirk on your face that shoots a wave of excitement down his spine, causing him to straighten his back out and inadvertently showcasing the ever growing wet spot you’ve caused him to make. Because really, it’s your fault he’s acting up like this. Who can blame him for popping a boner when you look so pretty, taking up space on his bed like you own the place, looking down at him from your holier than thou position at the foot of his bed while he performs to your pleasing. It’s intoxicating, a bit too much so for him as a needy whine escapes his throat, all cracked and high pitched to communicate how much he’s really struggling right now. It feels good, but he wants to feel better, and only you can offer him such reprieve.

It’s hot how the only way he gets a proper response out of you is by leaning forward, tugging lightly at your top to remind you of his existence, another low moan pulled out of him at the cute giggle you regard him with. Annoying is what he thinks, how you so easily turn him on by treating him like this; like a lowly pervert, how lucky he must be to gain even a little of your favoured attention. “All right,” You finally offer him, gently removing his hand from your clothing like it was dirty, and his cock pulses in his hand in response to the sickly feeling building in his tummy. “Show me.”

You don’t have to tell him twice, his earlier slow reactions now replaced with a frantic effort to remove his clothes, lifting his hips up just enough to tug his tight— and now wet— jeans off to reveal his boxers, all stained and the fabric stretched thin over his stupidly hard cock. He looks down to take in the sight of it with you, wincing at how you can practically see his whole cock without even removing his boxers, more globs of precum leaking out and down his length as he shivers into the cool air, into the way you check him out like a voyeur, as if you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you. He’s just less inclined to hide it now.

A moment later and his underwear is off, peeled from his sticky tip and carelessly tossed to the side, falling with a thud to the floor. In the back of his mind he hopes it wont stain into the wood, but he can’t fully care about it as his hand instinctively latches to his tip again, quickly snapping his attention back to you to witness the cute expression you wear at seeing his cock for the very first time. Pride wells in his chest as you smile above him, your gaze unwavering as he drags his fist down his length, tightening at the bottom and pulling back up— a repeat of the motion to slick his whole cock up in copious amounts of precum as a soft squelching sound fills the air.

Deep down he knows he should be embarrassed about how eagerly he tugs at his cock, how much precum leaks from his tip down to his balls, collecting in a neat pool between his legs as his pace quickens up and down, fisting himself so enthusiastically that the bed creaks under the weight of his snap wrist— but he’s not. If anything, this is the most turned on he’s ever been, and all because you’re simply watching him. Your name coming out in a moan from his lips, his greedy gaze fluttering shut at just how good he feels before you, letting his hips fuck up into his tightly closed fist a few times. It’s the power imbalance that gets to him the most. The knowing that he could easily overpower you, pin you down and take what he wants… But he doesn’t. Instead, he pathetically fucks himself off for you because you asked, restraining the want to shove his cock deep inside one of your holes only because you haven’t told him to yet, and that’s what’s getting him off right now. The deep perverted want to be wanted, to be watched as he shows his love for you in the most obscene way, fist fucking himself at such a speed that his hips try to follow suit with snap thrusts up, but his timing and pace is all mismatched and feverish. The way you lean back to take the sight of him in only causes more lust to pool in his tummy, prompting him to follow suit with his cock in hand, half leaning over you with his other hand by the side of your hip. He stumbles a little, too busy continuing to jerk off as he climbs on top of you and moaning in response to your laugh to pay attention to his balance.

He can’t tell if you’re genuinely making fun of him or find him cute, but it doesn’t really matter when either option gets him a little closer to cumming anyway.

“Please.” He gasps, his hips rutting against thin air and into his closed fist, hovering right between your thighs and above your clothed cunt. He’s so close he’s convinced he can taste you, panting over you like a dog in heat— and he doesn’t even know what he’s asking for.

The cute questioning tilt of your head in response to his pathetic pleading goes right to his cock, his fist halting at the base to squeeze a few times in an effort to hold off for you. It’s bad enough that he’s acting so perverted right now, he can’t afford to also cum too quickly.

He reiterates a raspier please, his head hanging low in horny shame for how beyond hope he is at this point, begging for you like you own him. And you do, evident from the way he still just hovers, remaining above you pumping his cock until you say otherwise with only his hand for company. Precum drips down onto your clothes, and he sucks his teeth at the sight. An apology laces his tongue, but he refuses to sound it— you look too pretty covered in him.

“What is it?” You ask him, tone innocent and harmless and dirty, because you know what you’re doing to him, watching him hump himself stupid while your knowing smirk coaxes his cock to jump for attention. “What do you want, Seb?”

Suddenly, words fail him. A million and one sentences fighting to be the one heard, causing his brain to stutter— but not his hips. He’s a bit stunned if he’s honest, never expecting you to give him a choice in the matter, happy to instead take whatever you’re willing to give him. That’s how needy he is, how much he wants you. And now that he has the opportunity, he’s at a loss.

It seems you understand just how stupid he is too, the feeling of your hand wrapping gently around the tip of his cock and pressing lightly, pushing his length against your clothed cunt making him groan. You’re so soft with it in comparison to his immediate rough thrust forward, pushing his wet tip against your front and dragging himself back down to stain you with pre. It’s involuntary, but he can hardly complain with the whines that spill from his lips, biting down on them to shut himself up enough to thank you meekly. He might not know what he wants, but he’s thankful that you do— especially as your hand remains snug to his cock, adding extra pressure and keeping him pinned to your cunt as his hips rock back and forth, both hands planted firmly by your side to give him enough purchase to mimic the actual act of sex he so desperately wants.

His voice comes out in a muffle, hidden behind whined moans. “Oh, God—”

“Yeah? Is this what you wanted?”

All he can do is nod, the casual conversation you have with him while sounding so unaffected yourself causes his hips to buck faster under your slick coated hand, his body threatening to buckle on top of you as he ruts against you with such speed that he’s moving you slowly but surely towards the end of his bed with each thrust. Anyone else in his position would probably find the whole ordeal too mortifying, being caught and then subsequently made a fool by reacting to your teasing— but he’s far from anything normal. A perverted shell more like, driven only by his cock as he seeks to show you just how much he needs you, how he thinks of nothing else day to day but you, how only you could have him acting so perverse.

As if it wasn’t obvious from how his leaking cock soaks through your clothing now, and the thought of his precum mixing with your own slick drives him insane; causes his hips to falter as a broken moans falls from him. He needs that more than anything, to know this his dumb expression and rock hard cock is getting you off just as much as your tight grip and watchful eyes do for him. Stroking himself off using your hand, attempting to rub his tip against your clothed clit to elicit any sort of sounds from you, but even the minuscule little gasps you’re unable to hide from him are enough. “Good—” he huffs, focusing on your tits to catch the small movement hidden behind your top from his thrusts. “Feels so good.” He manages to praise you, a whimper quickly following as your thumb presses against his drooling slit.

Matching the bed squeaks are little thumps of the bed itself hitting against the floor, his cock fucking against you rougher as his hips drive against you thoughtlessly, an innate need to finish at the forefront of his mind when you offer him a condescending hum. “I’m—” he goes to say, voice caught in his throat for a moment, but that’s all you need to pick up on him and he loves it.

“Close? Yeah. I know.”

Fuck, he’s so in love. Or, maybe he’s just a little too horny to know the difference. It doesn’t matter, his cock continues to twitch against your sticky hand and his hips continue to thrust, his head dipping low in an attempt to hide his assumed shame while a lewd smile forces its way to his lips. It just feels too good, you feel to good, even if all you’re doing is offering your hand and some patronising tones. God, he’s such a pervert for you, and he hasn’t the mind to apologise for it.

Especially not as his lifts his cloudy head up to meet your eyes once more. A stupid move, he knows it the second he sees your red glazed over regard staring right back at him, one more fuck forward and he’s cumming all over your front. Thick ropes shoot out as he gasps your name, over and over until it he’s got no breath left, letting his cock continue to rub against your clothing until he’s fully spent and you’re covered white from cunt to chest. The little bit he’s managed to get on your face causes a breathless laugh to escape him, though no apology is found. He only stops humping himself off once the overstimulation kicks in, and the drugs in his system overwhelm the amount of lust he feels. It’s the most he’s came in a while, and he struggles for a moment to find his grip on reality again.

Tired. Spent. He awaits the oncoming clarity he often gets after jerking off, removing himself from his on top of you position and falling back against his bed, laying there to catch his breath. The fact that you refuse to speak first gets to him, not in an annoyed way, but rather he finds it all too attractive to have you bully him even after he’s shamelessly exposed himself to you like that, propping himself up on his elbow to look at you after all is said and done.

“Thanks.” He states simply, a rasp in his voice from all of the moaning he’s just done. It feels good, he thinks.

“Mhm.” You smile at him, a lazy look that he finds much too cute for the current situation.

And yet even as he sobers up from the experience he doesn’t feel the usual disgust. His state of nakedness isn’t a bother, and his chest even tightens when he catches you glimpse down at his cum covered cock, and then your ruined clothing. He should probably give you something else to wear, but all he really has is his hoodie.

Ah, he just knows you’d look so cute in it too… His cock immediately reacting to the thought with a jerk. One you seem to notice too as he hears you scoff.

“Let’s smoke before going again, okay?”

He can’t argue with that.

#sdv smut #stardew valley smut #sdv sebastian smut #- writing

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rs-hawk · 4 months

Note

Do you have any writing tips? Even if it’s not necessarily for smut?

I won’t be touching on tips for smut at all on this post but I can make a separate post for it if y’all want.

My Top 10 Writing Tips

Love all your characters. Yes, even your antagonists. Hell, especially your antagonists. Even if they’re evil for the sake of being evil, if you want a 3 dimensional character, you have to acknowledge that they’re more than just evil to someone. Their mother. Their friends. Their dog. You have to think of their motivations, and honestly?-acknowledge that every character you write has a part of you in them. Maybe just your anger, your fear, your trauma, but love them for that, and it’ll shape them and your works in ways you never thought of.

Don’t reread your work too often! It’s hard (so very very hard) but when you have to crank out 2k words a day every day of the month but 2 it gets easier. Lol. Fr though just keep chugging along. You can reread later. You can edit later. Just get it done.

Don’t edit too much while you’re still actively writing. I know that’s hard, I really do, but if you keep rewriting, you’ll never be able to finish. You’ll keep writing a handful of scenes over and over again until you hate it, your book and yourself for “giving up”. You can edit later.

Write for yourself. It doesn’t matter how good of a writer you are, how beautiful or eloquent your style, if you hate it with every fiber of your being, it’ll turn to dust in your hands. I consider writing work, and when people enjoy themselves at work, not only do they do better, but the consumer enjoys it more. Think about it. If you’re at a restaurant and the workers are laughing and smiling with each other and seem genuinely happy, you’re more likely to go back than if they’re miserable, on the verge of tears and seem to hate being there, right? The same is true for your writing. Readers will enjoy it more if they can feel how much you enjoyed creating it.

Don’t just write. Listen to music. Get up and go for a walk. Text/call a friend. Watch a TV show. Pet your cat. Experience something. It helps you write but it also reminds you that hey, you’ve been here like eight hours. Get something to drink. Take a screen break. Go outside.

Be comfortable while you write. I’m not going to lecture you on posture because I’m currently laying down with my legs drawn up under me, my upper body turned and my phone in the air because I’m trying to put enough pressure on my lower back to pop it. Anyway, even if you can’t stay in one position long, switch. Listen to your body. A “proper” posture can end up hurting you if you don’t ever relax or if you’re putting too much pressure on your lower spine. It’s okay to lean. It’s okay to lay down. It’s okay to sit cross-legged. Just not at the expense of your body. Be aware, and don’t forget to get up and stretch!

Take breaks. Eat. Drink. Stretch. Go to the bathroom. Some people need them scheduled, and that’s fine, but also listen to your body. If you need to use the toilet but you don’t have another break scheduled for an hour, just go. Pause your timer or delay your alarm if you want, but take care of yourself.

Don’t be too rigid with your “starting” plot. We know most of us have that one scene or one character in mind we want to write, so we create a plot around them. That’s fine and I love it, but your writing is like a living creature. You might change while writing it. Your characters and ideas might change while writing it. Let them change. Let you change! You can edit later.

Remember it’s not a race. Just because you see some people dropping 3 novels a year, or 5 Tumblr posts every day doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. No one can write what you write. No one can create what you can create. Your work deserves to exist and be judged on its own merit. Not compared to anyone else’s, even if it’s you five years ago who could crank out multiple posts daily. It’s okay.

Don’t expect anything. Start writing because you love it. It makes you happy. It itches that part of your brain that no other hobby does. That no other love does. I’ve been writing for about 15 years now. I don’t know who I am without it. I have tried giving it up, moving past it, doing other things, but I always come back. Nothing else makes me feel the way writing does. I have gone years without writing, but when I start writing again, it’s like a high. I can go for hours, and I have! I have been lucky to be able to monetize my work, but it took 10+ years and was only because I got goofy about werewolves on a PTR app. You can’t go into the arts and expect to make money right away, or ever. You can hope, and do your best, but don’t only do it because you think you’ll make a living. It’s a sad but real fact. Capitalism makes us think we should only do stuff we can make money off of, but that’s a lie. You can AND SHOULD create just to create. Humans are meant to make art, and if writing is your canvas like it is mine, write to create. Fuck capitalism. Your art existing is enough reason to create it.

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