#anyways i love being asexual we are all so cool and awesome

[ghostsandfools]

Pride month is officially over everyone, and I just wanted to say...

YOU'RE STILL AWESOME! And you still deserve to be proud and loved and honored even if it isn't pride month anymore.

There's A LOT under the cut, be warned.

All you gay guys out there are AMAZING! I hope you're doing okay. I hope you're having fun. I hope life is well. Don't ever let anyone make fun of you for being gay, don't be ashamed, OWN IT! You're amazing and you should be proud.

Lesbians, that goes for you too! I how your doing woman loving WODERFULLY! You're so cool. Doesn't matter what kind of lesbian you are, femme, masc, non-binary, you're all valid and awesome!

Bisexuals, you exist and you're cool as hell. I hope you're doing good. Don't ever feel like you have to pick a side or you're just confused, I know there's been a lot of biphobia going around even within the queer community but don't let it get to you! You're valid! And we love you <3

Pansexuals, I hope you're doing PANTASITIC (I hate myself). I hope everything is going good and I hope you all have had a wonderful pride. You're all super cool and I'm so sorry for the amount of frying pan jokes you've probably heard over the past month.

Omnisexual, you too! Just the word omnisexual sounds cool as hell. I hope you've been okay, I know omnisexuals and pansexuals get confused for each other quite a bit, but you're unique and you're valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Asexuals, hi! I hope you're doing well. Be proud, don't let the aphobia get to you! Because you are ALL valid. This one is for everyone on the ace spectrum. You're sex-repulsed? VALID! I hope you're doing well. You're sex neutral? Cool! You're awesome. You have sex regularly and enjoy it? Awesome! You can still be a valid asexual, don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise. You're demisexual, graysexual, or another sexuality on the ace spectrum? That's wonderful! I love you all.

Aromantic people, no matter what part of the spectrum you're on, you're valid too! Even if you're in a romantic relationship, you're still valid! It's a spectrum for a reason. I hope you're all doing amazing, no matter what.

Non-Binary folks, hello! I hope you're doing well and you've had lots of good luck. I know, at least where i live, it can be difficult to find places that affirm your identity. There are barely any gender neutral bathrooms, most job resumes/surveys only add male and female options, people assume gender ALL THE TIME. It sucks. But I hope you've been staying strong despite all that, and I hope the world can get better. Remember you're all valid! Even if you don't "look non-binary", even if you choose to dress traditionally masculine or feminine, even if you use neopronouns or pronouns other than they/them, even if you don't have an androgynous name, you're all still non-binary, be proud!

Trans boys, we love you. You're awesome, you're strong, you're amazing, and I hope everything's alright! Never let anyone tell you how you have to present. If you don't wanna bind your chest, you don't have to. If you can't afford medicine or surgeries, that's okay. If you still wanna dress femininely, you can! You're a real man and the queer community wouldn't be the same without you.

Trans girls, the same to you! You don't have to present super femininely if you don't wanna, you're a real woman no matter what. I hope you're staying safe. I know trans women are often a scapegoat (aka. "Trans women will assault 'real women' in restrooms!"), but we know the truth. You're awesome, and please stay safe out there <3

Polyamorous people, I see you! I might be one of you but idk yet I'm still figuring stuff out- ANYWAYS! You are real. You don't have to choose one person, I promise. I grew up with parents that were really against polyamory for some reason, and I just don't get it. You can love multiple people, you are valid, and I hope you can find a partner/partners who accept you and love you for who you are.

Unlabeled people, happy pride! Be proud of yourself, you're super cool. You don't have to be anything, you can just be you. You belong here, and the queer community accepts you and loves you for who you are.

OKAY. That was a lot, but we still have more to go! I'm not gonna say as much about the next ones for the sake of my own sanity, I've already been writing this for a while. So, LIGHTNING ROUND!

Genderfluid people, I love you. You're awesome and I see you, don't let anybody tell you you've gotta pick a side.

Demi boys/Demi girls, HI! I remember you, and I love you. I hope you had a good pride month!

Agender people, hell yeah for you!

Intersex people, don't think I'd forget you! You're part of pride too and anyone who says otherwise is dumb. You're awesome.

Abrosexual and abromantic people, you're wonderful <3

Polysexual people, you're cool!

Trixic and toric people y'all are awesome!

Enbian people, you're amazing and also your flag is really goddamn cool, I don't see enough people bringing up the enbian flag istg-

Uranic people, you're marvelous.

Neptunic people I'M ONE OF YOU, I SEE YOU! HI! HELLO! If there are any other neptunic people here hi omg I've never met another one-

ANYWAYs. That was a lot. There were a lot of orientations I didn't mention, but there are so many ways to describe your unique sexual orientation, and you can express gender in so many different ways, and my hands really hurt. So if I didn't mention you, I'm sorry, but it doesn't mean you aren't valid or that i forgot you!

I love all of you. Just because pride month is over doesn't mean you're forgotten or loved any less. I hope you all have a wonderful, WONDERFUL rest of your year, and I wish you all good luck <3

[goodluckclove]

tw for drugs and sex mentions

yo clove not writing related but do you think it's normal to have not tried recreational drugs by 15 and not particularly want to find them? I've seen people making fun of people for it, along with not having sex which is also concerning to me as a sex-repulsed aroace person (caedosexual and demialterous/aroflux). I'm really anxious about stuff like this so I'd love ur opinion if you're comfortable answering stuff like this, I trust you a lot and you seem like a smart and knowledgeable adult so if you say it's fine I'll probably stop worrying

Hey man if you want to get real let's get real. I won't get too descriptive, but I do agree some people may need the tw so I'll put this under a Read More. Generally my answer is that younger people have a warped view of what warrants maturity and adulthood and a lot of the stuff that they think represents being a Cool Grown Up is actually not meant to be that profoundly world-changing in my opinion. This is especially true for all the stuff that is designed to spike your dopamine, unless in cases where it's being used medicinally (and even then it's case-by-case on if it's really medicinal).

Let's get into it!

So first off let me say the three big things that make me kind of biased to talk about stuff like this.

I am an alloromantic, sex-repulsed asexual

I am an addict

I am a child of addicts

I'll tackle sex first just to get it out of the way, and because I think it'll be easier to answer. Teenagers are one of the most brutal species on the goddamned planet (second only to middle schoolers and that sludge in Chernobyl that kills you immediately if you look at it), and I know for a fact they'll find a way to make fun of you for anything. I didn't know I was asexual in high school. I was an out lesbian at the time - I actually came out on our school broadcast for a GSA ad that ended up playing at least twice a month all year. People were more...too into it, which is also bad.

Mean Teens might say some dumb shit. That sucks, but you'll live. There will be way more Mean Teens that have an opinion on your sex life than there will be Asshole Adults. Like way more. I am open about being an asexual marriage and the worst I get is like "what if you want kids" which - you know - you can shut that down quick.

What matters is what you think about yourself, and the cool truth is that if you go through your whole life never wanting to have sex your life will be very close to unchanged in the grand scheme of things. I'll probably never want to eat a whole olive, and Riley thinks that's crazy because they love olives. But we will both see the same amount of sunsets and cool birds, and we were both eat roughly the amount of yummy snacks and have the same amount of adventures.

I've had sex. Ladies. No, seriously though - it's fine. It's okay. I remember yearning for it for years (I was actually wanting intimacy oops), and when it finally happened I was like oh. that's it? okay. There was a point when my girlfriend at the time actually entered me and I was immediately confused because I had no idea what she was trying to do. I remember I furrowed my brow like I was trying to understand Improv Jazz.

I laughed. i did laugh. That is not great for two people having sex for the first time.

Anyways, I had a few sexual partners and just kind of assumed they were all bad at sex or I was doing something wrong for some reason. Then I met Riley and they were openly ace, and something just clicked in me. I'm still aesthetically and sensually attracted to them (I use sensually in terms that aren't sexual), but there's really no pressure there and we aren't worried about it. And it's awesome.

If someone makes you feel weird about not having sex or a romantic attraction to people then you should feel a little bad for them, because that seems like a thing that a person would only do if they had very little else going on in their lives. That's some bland-ass khaki shit.

Onto intoxicants! So before I moved to Portland I lived in San Jose, California, and shortly after weed was legalized my parents had me start smoking with them - I was 18 - and I ended up being heavily addicted for about three years. This is a divisive thing to say because I know there's some argument about whether or not weed can even be addictive. Let me just say right now, I'm not about to have that argument. I detoxed for about three weeks and I genuinely thought I was dying. Like, I said my "last words" to my mother when she came to check on me. It was rough.

I am not anti-weed. I know it can be an amazing tool for people with certain medical conditions. And if you don't have a history of addiction, it's probably fine to smoke a bowl or a joint every so often and just have that be the end of it. I mean, it's so easy to find now.

Weed is fun, though. That's kind of the reason why it developed it's own culture and persona. The same can be said with alcohol. People definitely have opinions on IPAs. But if someone is so invested in what is essentially little more than an economic industry, that they feel the need to judge you for - spending your money on other stuff? That's piss wizard shit.

Weed is fun, yes, but it is expensive. If someone says they have cheap weed it's probably shit and you need to smoke a lot, or they got it through means that aren't great. And going out to bars also gets costly quick. I still go sometimes, but I limit myself to one fun cocktail.

You can also still go to bars if you want - when you're older, I mean. They can be a good place to meet people and see shows. A lot of them have cool non-alcoholic options - I like when there's a kombucha on tap - or they even have mocktails that are still cool mixed drinks with no alcohol. But they all have Coke or whatever.

There's literally a bar by my house that I go to and I only order the French fries and a Coke. Nobody cares. Getting drunk can be fun if you're in the right situation, but I don't consider it worth the hangover. Getting high can also be fun in the right situation, but edibles taste like trash and if you smoke you're essentially a smoker and that's it's own stigma. What's the alternative - vaping?

Oh my god, vaping? Come on. I have friends that vape and you know how many of them only do it because they're addicted? All of them. Shit sucks. I don't judge them, but I can see them cringe every time they have to hit it.

Also don't let people talk to you about that Delta-8/9 shit. Yeah, it's stronger. Yeah, it's unregulated. But like - it's unregulated and we have no goddamned clue what it'll do in the long run.

Getting high is fun because you don't have to exist in the world for a while and that's great, but it ultimately doesn't solve anything. When I'd smoke a bunch of weed and sativa alone in my bedroom (Hey don't do that! Bad idea! Really bad! My parents knew I was doing this and they allowed it because they are bad people!), I'd giggle and fuck around and eat a lot of snacks, but the next morning all the shit I was trying to escape was still there. Only difference was that now I had to go out and drop another 60 bucks on an eighth to get me through the next two weeks.

A lot of people want to have sex and get drunk or high so they can think of something else other than their current situation for like fifteen minutes to six hours. if you don't want to do either of that, and you're not going absolutely insane, that seems pretty cool. I can cite all the studies that say that a lot of that kind of stuff can actually stunt your development if you get into it too early (Or at all, really), but you don't need me to do that. You know that's the case. I knew that and I still OD'd on weed twice before the age of 21.

You're good, man. It's not a culture when you do that this young, it's a coping skill. And if you found a different one that's going to be way better for you in the long run. You can still have fun and make friends, you can even still have a partner in life if you find that's something you want. Your life is might seem limited in a few ways - but it's actually far more open in many, many other ones.

I don't mind questions like these all, by the way. Thanks for trusting me!

[queersys]

im giving a huge shoutout to one of our headmates here bc byte is my brother and i wanna shoutout how cool break is

so for context were collectively asexual and sex repulsed/a black stripe asexual (because that happens to be the majority label anyways + we like the term of black stripe ace/we dont go into most queer discourse bc of how rancid it is for us as an ace person so like dont @ us)

but like. my brother ids with being hyper-asexual and centrispec and like. god thats so fuckin cool of .exe im so proud of hue! because for like the longest time it knew of the hypersexual label but never realized how that applied to wire and like. god. cache is already awesome as hell (see: the dude has an entire google doc dedicated to its neopronouns + ids with over 5 xenogenders) so like. my brother finding a sexual identity label that actually fits for once (since this was something machine struggled with for a long time) is so. it makes me so happy!!!! shoutout to every hyper-asexual headmate in every system yall are actually awesome

ill take💗🎭 as an emoji signoff if thats not taken?

SHOUT OUT TO HUE!!!

I love to hear about aletrs who find a label for themselves that feels comfortable, I get that the collective label is collective for a reason, but that doesn't make wire less valid or real

I never hear about centrispect, I search it up and it sounds very interesting, so I'm glad .exe find a perfect label for describing their orientation

Hypersexual alters are so valid, SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF THEM IN ALL SYSTEMS 🗣️🗣️🗣️

As an apothiosexual alter who's also hypersexual I can totally relate, let hypersexual alters be themselves and stop saying that hypersexuality is a queer identity, it is not, and beinh hypersexual doesn't make yo any less valid!!!

And yes, you can claim that emoji, I love this submission 💗🎭 anon ✨

[usergreenpixel]

MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 15: NEEDING NAPOLEON (2020)

1. The Introduction

Hello, Neighbors! Welcome back to Malmaison Media Salon! At last we’re here and today is a bit of a special review. Why special?

Let me explain:

1. Firstly, it’s one of those cases where I stumble upon a media piece via recommendation from another community member. This time it was @suburbanbeatnik , who interviewed the author of the book and there was a contest where the first 3 users to comment would get a free ebook copy via email.

I was the first to comment because I was given the link and because I was really excited about what sounded like a promising story, considering my soft spot for the adventure genre, time travel and alternative history. So yeah, I became one of the lucky three users.

Unfortunately, the book is only available in English and has to be purchased through websites like Amazon, so those who don’t speak English too well might be out of luck for now.

2. Secondly, it’s one of the few anglophone (British, to boot!) media pieces that DO NOT paint Napoleon as a villain! How cool is that?! For newcomers, stumbling upon a gem like that is about as likely as seeing a UFO, so you can bet your asses that I HAD to check out the book!

3. Thirdly, I already mentioned that I’m a sucker for adventure, time travel, historical fiction and alternative history so that really boosted my excitement… as well as my worries. I prayed that the book would turn out to be good. Luckily, it did! More on that later though.

Anyway, before we proceed, this review is dedicated to @suburbanbeatnik and @garethwilliamsauthor . Not only is the latter, well, the author, but he also graciously gave me permission to write said review and I’m thankful for this.

Okay, with formalities out of the way, let’s begin!

2. The Summary

The novel tells the story of one Richard Davey, an ordinary schoolteacher who admires Napoleon and lives a very boring, lonely life.

However, during a fateful holiday in Paris, he gets a chance to leave his old life behind, meet his hero and maybe even change the course of history.

To me, the idea sounds very interesting, so let’s move onto the deeper analysis and see if the execution matches the potential.

3. The Story

Although the beginning of the story did confuse me a bit because we jump straight into action, I. Fucking. Love. This. Book. I was extremely hooked when reading and felt like I was back in my childhood, reading my favorite swashbuckling stories. The excitement is REAL.

The pacing is excellent, most loose ends get tied up in the end, the ending is satisfying yet also realistic and we don’t have the protagonist getting everything he wanted, which is awesome!

I did have a problem with the flashbacks though, mainly because they kept popping up and breaking the storyline immersion, but that’s just me.

Also, there’s a good mix of gritty artlessness (in a good way because it doesn’t gloss over war), a swashbuckling adventure, romance and down time (we can’t have action ALL the time).

The romantic subplot is very well-written and realistic, even though my asexual self still didn’t care much because I don’t normally like romance. Spoiler, it’s one of the few times where the protagonist doesn’t get the love interest in the end, for a lot of reasons.

So yeah, only minor complaints here and there.

(Oh, and tiny bonus for the Frev community: Frev isn’t demonized either!!! Yay!!!)

(P. S. Also there were a lot of moments that cracked me up, like the pun with HMS Bellerophon being called Billy Ruffian.)

4. The Characters

Richard Davey is by far one of the most relatable characters ever, since I can relate to his loneliness (me during the worse days of depression) and love for History (I’m a Frev and Napoleonic nerd). He’s flawed, reacts realistically and in his own way to situations and has a great character arc, from a man just going with the motions of life to a hero who can and does make a difference in history, just not in the way he first planned.

Emile Béraud, a soldier Richard befriends in the past, is an absolute sweetheart. Loyal to a fault, friendly and just as lonely as Richard, he takes part in the adventures and is a very compelling character.

Aunt Patricia, Richard’s only living relative, might be a minor character who doesn’t personally appear, but her presence is felt throughout the story and Richard constantly imagines what she would have to say in his position and how she would judge him.

Madame Odillet, the owner of an antique shop who helps Richard get back in time, is a mysterious woman with a troubled past, who definitely knows more than she first lets on. I like the book parallels between her and witches, even though she’s just a regular human.

Napoleon starts out as an insufferable punchable prick, but later on his portrayal becomes nuanced. He loves and misses his son, has a soft spot for kids, has a temper and at times alternates between acceptance of his fate and resolve to fight back. He’s not in a good place mentally nor physically, but he’s portrayed as someone flawed yet far from being a bad person.

Jerome is an arrogant hedonistic ass. Full stop. But he’s a minor character so I can understand why he’s not as nuanced, even if I wish there was a bit more complexity.

Gourgaud is an impulsive and arrogant bastard who is loyal to his emperor yet entitled due to having saved said emperor twice.

Bertrand and Fanny are extremely sweet.

Las Cases… I found him unpleasant and arrogant.

Murat and Caroline are mentioned and, LUCKILY, not depicted as traitors.

Ney in his cameo is his usual post-Russia reckless self (he possibly had PTSD, I believe).

Overall, the cast is memorable and I did enjoy the portrayals for the most part.

5. The Setting

The descriptions really sell the setting here, in my opinion. I particularly enjoyed the scenes at Malmaison where Napoleon essentially is Richard’s tour guide.

Always nice to see that the author really did their research and has a way with language to make immersion that much easier to achieve.

6. The Writing

Once again, the descriptions. Short, sweet, to the point.

The language is mostly easily understandable, but there are French words sprinkled in that (fortunately) can be more or less understood in context. I wish there were footnotes with translations though. Oh, and some words were unfamiliar to me as a foreigner so please keep that in mind too.

7. The Conclusion

If you can, please give the book a go. Remarkable adventures, nuanced characters and believable settings that are reminiscent of swashbuckling novels are definitely worth your money, in my humble opinion.

Of course, no work is perfect but I throughly enjoyed this one despite some flaws and I look forward to reading the sequel. It’s not every day we get an anglophone pro-Naps media piece, after all.

On that note, let us conclude today’s soirée. Please stay tuned for updates on future reviews, my dearest Neighbors.

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[aromantic-diaries]

Okay so. I am awkward and despite being a writer, Talking To People doesn't come easy to me, so I might phrase some things weird, but. I really like your blog :]

It's just really nice to find any aspec blog that doesn't bother with justifying anything to aphobes cause I always get thrown under the bus with that. And I don't care if people don't like me, I'm too confident in myself to be affected by insults, but it's still awesome to find a place that not only doesn't try to make the community more palatable to people who already hate us, but celebrates all of us.

I especially like a lot of the posts you've made about how even if being aspec were inhuman, you'd be okay with that! I think you've said before that you aren't actually nonhuman, but I am, and it's nice to find posts I can relate to heavily. I'm a weird creature because I'm a weird creature, it's got nothing to do with my orientation, but even if it did, I wouldn't care! I'm happy like this!

So uh. From a local lovequeer aro aplatonic afamilial allosexual thing, thanks for the cool blog :]

Thanks for the message, it always feels really great to know I'm reaching the right people!

I make a point to spread aro positivity of all kinds over making aromanticism more palatable to alloromantic people and this mindset actually comes from seeing other aros who have been in the community longer than I have talk about their own experiences so I have those people to thank for that. I really don't feel obligated to justify anything to anyone who doesn't want to understand anyways since I've learned that no matter how hard you try to please everyone there will always be someone who doesn't like you and that other people's approval is not a requirement for your own self acceptance. This is a lesson I learned unrelated to being aro but it did help with learning to accept it after so many years of not wanting to admit it to myself entirely because I was afraid it would make me less whole.

So for this reason I care more about including aros who aren't asexual, aros who are aplatonic, aros who are loveless and anyone who simply doesn't meet the requirements for being "acceptable" and sticking to the idea that even for aros who do experience other kinds of love, platonic and familial relationships are their own thing and not a substitute for romance and partnering/romance favorable aros aren't just an example to point to so we can go "see? Some of us are normal"

Anyways, I'm really happy that I'm doing something positive for the community, including those who are more marginalized or less "acceptable" by amatonormative standards

[drowninginredink]

when/will you make more qpr changela content ??? 😭😭😭 pls my aroace ass is obsessed w them

Hello, so, sorry to disappoint, but I'm afraid the answer is never. I was burned out as hell from romantic content because as I'm sure you're well aware, I'm also aro and, well... have you seen fanfiction? Or actually, have you seen any media ever? Obviously I was sick to death of it. So I took the natural solution that most aros took and went all in on writing about platonic stuff... and burnt myself out in the exact same way. Yeah, turns out I'm aplatonic. Which is also why I very much fell out of smosh fandom as a whole. To me, the appeal of smosh was "woah, wouldn't it be awesome to get to hang out with awesome people all day and have your job be to just talk to them, but like... not actually have to have a real friendship or relationship with them. You have great conversations and then you go home and don't talk to them in your free time." And meanwhile the whole rest of the fandom's appeal was "isn't it so cool that they're all genuinely friends both inside and outside of work?" And the thing is, everyone else were the people who were right. So the second I realized that no, they are genuinely friends, because that's how most people are and most people do want relationships with the people they like... The whole thing just turned me off even more. Being in smosh fandom was constantly having platonicism thrown in my face, which was fine when I just assumed everyone felt the same way about other people that I did... But as soon as I realized they didn't? That these people had actual feelings that I don't have and didn't understand and frankly just seemed cloying to me? Yeah I ended up just unfollowing absolutely everyone on smoshblr because I couldn't stand seeing so much platonic stuff anywhere. And to be clear, that didn't just apply to the fan content. I can't stomach regular smosh videos anymore either because they now just make me incredibly aware how much I do not operate like other people.

Anyway please always spare a thought for the plight of aplatonics, because like, I know it's isolating as hell to be aromantic, but now imagine you also are not all that keen on what the entire aromantic community pushes as "well this is what aros love instead! We all want QPRs and our friendships are all the most important things to us!" And imagine how hard it is to find media without friendship OR romance. I mean I'm just lucky I'm allofamilial at least. And I mean, I am very social. I'm not one of the aplatonics who just feel like they don't need socialization and don't have friends, even though those apls are super cool and valid as hell. But I don't have feelings for the people I socialize with. Even the people who I really like and maintain consistent relationships with, it's that I like the activity of talking to them, not that I have feelings for the person themselves. To me, being with a friend group I like is a thing that I enjoy in the same way that I enjoy a cool place. It's an environment I like.

So yeah, uh, I didn't mean to make this a rant about how the aromantic hyperfocus on platonic relationships and QPRs and stuff is actually kind of bad, but uh... I guess that happened. Appreciating friendship is great! Do friendship if that's what you do! But don't act like it's an essential part of the aromantic experience or that all aros feel that way, because that isolates those of us who are aplatonic and makes it harder for us to discover that about ourselves because well obviously we must be inclined towards platonic relationships because that's what aros do.

Anyway these days I'm writing fanfic with a very, very different tone to my smosh stuff. I'm writing about deeply toxic relationships and basically writing romance as horror because to me, there is no way I could be in a romantic relationship where I'm not unwilling and trapped. (There's also a lot of sex as horror, but that's not because I'm asexual, because I'm not, but rather a dysphoria thing. Which is wild because I've been writing that way about sex since I started writing at like 13 and it took until like four days ago for me to realize a) just how fucked up the way I view sex is, b) I do not view sex like most people, and c) thank god other people don't see sex the way I do, it's horrifying. Anyway it's wild that you can live your whole life just not knowing how deeply unhappy you are with your genitalia). So like, it's not the wholesome shit I was writing to fit into smosh fandom, but thank god. I've always been an angst writer and writing that kind of fluff just wasn't me. It's nice to not be trying to fit myself into a place where I don't belong anymore. My writing is no longer happy, but I am much, much happier.

Well. Okay aside from the whole "now I know how bad my dysphoria actually is and can't stop noticing it" thing but heyyyyyyyyy I'll survive.

Okay that was one hell of a rant but hey. It was a long time coming and I'm glad I've finally actually explained myself and what happened there.

[rainbowdanganronpaa]

rainbowdanganronpa is over/inactive; please stop using any of my designs & artwork

to get it out of the way:

STOP ILLEGALLY SELLING MY ARTWORK AND DESIGNS.

STOP STEALING MY DESIGNS, ESPECIALLY FORCING MY AU CHARACTERS WHO ARE CANNONICALLY ASEXUAL INTO SEXUAL MEDIA OR CHANGING THEIR IDENTITIES.

STOP STEALING MY ARTWORK; DO NOT REUPLOAD IT ANYWHERE, ESPECIALLY PINTEREST. i dont care if you do it with credit or not, STOP REUPLOADING MY ARTWORK.

PLEASE do not make FANART of my designs, DO NOT WRITE FANFIC, and please DO NOT EVER COSPLAY MY DESIGNS. i dont know why you’d want to cosplay them anyway they look weird as hell.

TL;DR dont use my designs/art for anything and do not reupload it anywhere.

no fanart. no cosplay. no pfps or edits. no fanfic, especially. stop stealing my art work and designs, especially when you sell them on horrible quality merch. NO ONE has the rights to use any of my artwork/edits/designs/etc.

seriously i didnt think people would wanna steal damn scenekids edits so bad.

 this might seem like im overreacting but ive genuinely had this happen dozens of times and almost took legal action several times against people illegally using my artwork and designs.

ALSO ESPECIALLY STOP SEXUALIZING MY KAZUICHI, GOD DAMN. YALL ARE WEIRD. IN MY AU HE IS ASEXUAL AROMANTIC. STOP CALLING HIM HOT AND SAYING YOU’RE GONNA BEAT OFF TO HIM. like seriously why would you post that ANYWHERE on the internet, let alone an scenekid aroace edit of kazuichi souda made by a teenager at the time? thats just weird like get a life dude

i wanted to leave this AU on a positive note but anyone who saw my other update post knows already. this is a very passionate response because i and other scene danganronpa fans have been dealing with this for over 3 years, along with general homophob!c harassment. very ironic considering this is danganronpa we’re talking about. for context, i will not be looking up anything under my au tags or anything relating to scene danganronpa again, so i will not see any of your messages or responses.

i am sick and tired of the continuous disrespect of the scene danganronpa community to my and other artists boundaries. you constantly reupload our artwork without permission, steal our designs, and illegal sell our artwork/designs, then spew some of the most vile insults when we point it out. this is an issue MULTIPLE scene DR fans have dealt with. i have absolutely no motivation or want to return to the community if you all continue to disrespect artists.

 seriously, this is the scenekid danganronpa community, why is it so awful??? i just wanted to make funny scenekid edits for fun, now im sad i ever posted my art online, and have seen other artists wish the same. i also dont even like to consider myself a scenekid anymore considering their history of platforming horrible people and just generally being pretty disgusting, but thats a whole can of worms.

----

thank you to all the people who were respectful. when i was still active in our little community + the scenekid DR community as a whole, it was really cool. i was super into scene fashion at the time and it was fun meeting other scenekids who liked danganronpa, and had similar HCs to mine. it was really awesome whenever i posted a new edit and someone said “hey! ive been waiting for you to do this character :)” and actually made me tear up a few times. realistically its not that big of a deal, it was just cool seeing so many people genuinely appreciate my artwork, even if it was just badly done scenekid edits of danganronpa characters. i really loved seeing people make content /inspired/ by my edits and even say they wanted to cosplay them. while i dont have those feelings anymore, it was fun while it lasted. sorry if this seems really sappy and overly serious, im not sure how to write things casually, HaHa.

[stranger-awakening]

no actually i’m gonna be vulnerable on main because i’m really emotional about the varient cover that only came out last week. when i was a teenager there literally wasn’t really visible ace characters in media which is when you need representation the most because without it you start to feel fucked up and broken and like there’s something wrong with you (in some cases, not all of course) and i still remember crying over todd from bojack horseman coming out even though i didn’t watch the show because i had literally never seen someone come be asexual in media ever. let alone on a popular tv show that people really love and in such a big scene. it was usually so hush hush or vague like when raphael from goddamn shadownhunters had his little not interested in sex arc and like that was all we got. god i remember just biting and clawing and grasping at straws trying to find someone like me. and then we had a couple more. there’s jughead in his own run of comics. we had that one character in that one episode of sex education. it started to filter into ya books and comics. there’s loveless and heartstopper. there’s some video games with side characters. and slowly slowly we’re getting more visible and it usually still sucks because people are so awful so frequently but now there’s a whole ass superhero with the fucking asexual flag right on the goddamn cover like oh my god that’s Visible !! you can’t miss that !!! and there’s probably still ace teenagers out there because we’re always out there and they get to have this now. we all get to have this now. holy shit our flag is on the fucking cover

[idy-ll-ique]

All Mine.

Pairing: Andy Barber x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: age gap, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, squirting (damn)

Requested: nope

Summary: Andy Barber has been through a lot. After getting a divorce from his ex-wife, he moves into the house next to the Y/L/Ns. And he has his eyes on Y/N since day one. Little does he know, Y/N likes him too and things get interesting one night.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Before you ask, no, I haven't watched Defending Jacob yet because I do not have the attention span to watch an entire series. So yeah, this has no spoilers. Also, I'm asexual so don't @ me for the smut please and thank you. Enjoy!

---

"Good morning, Mr Barber!"

He looked up from his phone and saw his neighbor smiling at him. He grinned back at her, his mood immediately lightening. "Hi, Y/N! How many times have I told you, call me Andy," he chided gently, keeping his phone away. "Okay, okay, just feels a little weird, ya know? Anyway, what are you doing here? You almost never take the bus," Y/N chuckled.

He flashed her another grin, his boyish side automatically coming out. It always happened when she was near. Y/N Y/L/N was Andy Barber's cute neighbor, but the only thing is, she was way, way younger than he was, her parents were just a couple of years older than him. Despite the huge age-gap, Y/N had won his heart. And he didn't mind in the slightest.

"My car broke down yesterday, it's at the auto repair shop. I got no other vehicle," he shrugged. Y/N nodded just as she saw her bus approaching. "Are you getting on this one?" she asked him and he squinted. "Nah, not this one. Are you?" She verbally confirmed a yes and turned to look at him fully. "I'll see you later, Mr Barber, bye!" With that, she waved at him and stepped into the bus.

"Andy!" he mouthed when she sat near the window seat, giggling. "Andy," she repeated, winking at him just as the bus turned around the corner. A laugh involuntarily escaped his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. Oh, what am I gonna do with you, angel? Inside the bus, Y/N had to keep herself from fidgeting, too overstimulated after her conversation with the handsome lawyer.

She had had a crush on him ever since he had moved in next-door. Her parents had immediately invited the lone man to dinner and he had, thankfully, accepted. They had a lot of fun; Andy was a proper gentleman, well-spoken, intelligent and extremely handsome. Y/N got a crush on him on the first day itself. She knew about the things his family had been through, and the thought crushed her.

Can't even imagine, your own child, guilty of murder?

Andy and his ex-wife, Laurie had divorced immediately after their son's trial. It was all months ago, though, Andy was doing much better now. He had Y/N, after all. In his thoughts only, but that would suffice. Because he knew, she'd never fall for him. Why would she? He was much older than her, a divorced man, with a son who got convicted for murder.

But Y/N didn't care about any of those things. She liked the Andy who was her awesome, good looking and smart neighbor. That's all that mattered to her. But then came another problem, Y/N's parents. Would they be okay with her going out with him? Of course not! Y/N sighed and leaned her head against the window of the bus; oh God, what ever was she gonna do?

Andy had ruined all men for her.

---

"Come in!"

Looking up, a surprised gasp left the mouths of both; the person inside the office and the person at the door. "Y/N?" Andy blurted out. "Mr Barber?" Y/N blinked as well. "Andy," he corrected incessantly and she waved her arm in dismissal. "Wow, I, uh… I didn't realize— you don't have a name plate outside—" He motioned to the chair in front of him and she sat.

"What happened, darling?"

Y/N unconsciously shivered at the nickname. She loved it when he called her that. "I don't know, my colleague sent me here, she was busy… gave me the address and said there was a file she needed…" Y/N spoke unsurely. Her eyes quickly skimmed over his figure; he had taken off the trenchcoat he was wearing in the morning, leaving him in a tight, white shirt, black trousers and a tie hanging loosely around his neck.

The top three buttons of his shirt were undone, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. Y/N concluded that he looked insanely gorgeous. "Does your colleague happen to be Mrs Renoir? She told me she was coming to get the file." She smiled and nodded at him. "Yes, Mrs Renoir, that's her." Andy smiled back and took out a file from his drawer. "Here you go."

She accepted the file, stowing it away in her bag. "I'll see you!" She moved to get up but Andy tutted, checking his watch. "Why don't you stay, Y/N? It's getting late, we can go home together," he spoke, his eyes soft as he gazed at her. She froze for a moment. "Um, it's fine, I can—" He was shaking his head. "Y/N, if something happens to you, I'll not be able to forgive myself."

What's going on? "Mr Barber—" "Andy." "What do you mean?" He got up from his chair and moved to the couch that was in the room. She sat next to him. "You never stay out this late, Y/N, your parents told me you're usually at home by 8:30. It's almost midnight, and I can't let you venture into the city all alone at this hour. Do you know the dangers that lurk at night?"

Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest. Indeed, this was new to her; and before even meeting with him, she had been scared of roaming the city alone at night. "I don't," she muttered truthfully, looking up when Andy placed his hand on her thigh. "It's okay. You can stay, I just need to go over a few more things and then we can go home, hm?" Y/N grinned and nodded.

Andy lifted his hand off her thigh and went back to his desk. He began scribbling something on a paper, which Y/N realized was a form. After admiring him for a few minutes, she took out her phone and scrolled through her messages. She had already texted her mom about staying out late, and her mother had complained until Y/N told her she was out for business, not fun.

As time passed, Y/N's shoulders sagged. Her eyes drooped, heavy with sleep. "Andy," she whined in a sleepy stupor and his head shot up, "Are you done? I wanna go home!" His dark eyes softened instantly and he chuckled. She looked cute when she was sleepy. "Just a moment, darling, I'm almost finished." Y/N simply groaned and threw her head back against the couch.

"All done."

Y/N opened her eyes and saw Andy fixing his appearance, before shrugging on the coat. Then he turned to her, offering her his hand with a smile. She took it and heaved herself up, stumbling a little but Andy was there to hold her up. Effortlessly wrapping an arm around her waist, he guided her out of his office, switching off the lights and locking the door.

Both of them walked out of the building and Andy got Y/N seated in the passenger seat of his car. "I thought your car was at the auto repair shop?" Y/N remembered. She felt his chuckle next to her ear as he reached over and fastened her seatbelt and then his own. "Went to get it in the afternoon because I realized buses aren't for me." She giggled and leaned back against the seat.

"Why don't you try and fall asleep? I'll wake you up," he whispered, his heart swelling in his chest when she nodded meekly. "Goodnight, Mr Barber." He still corrected her, "Andy." Truth be told, Y/N didn't want to call him Andy because that would only make her feelings worse. If she called him Mr Barber… that was a constant reminder that he was a man much older, a successful lawyer, and just her neighbor.

Nothing else.

"Such a sweet doll." Ever since he heard her whining his name in his office, his mind had clouded over with lust. She sounded so fucking beautiful when she said his name. And suddenly, all he wanted to do was to claim her on his couch. He had controlled himself easily, he knew he had to wait till he had her consent. Which he thought he'd probably never get.

---

"Thank you so much, Andy!"

"Oh, it's not a problem at all, Mrs Y/L/N. Y/N is great company and I admit, the house does get a little lonely at times," Andy chuckled as Y/N's mother beamed at him. Y/N was looking down at her feet, clutching the handles of her travel bags. She was going to move in with Andy for a few weeks, since her room was getting renovated. There was no other place in the house.

When Andy heard that, he had instantly offered that she move in with him for the time-being. And Y/N's parents were, surprisingly, ecstatic at the idea. "She can move into the guest bedroom," he had spoken at the time. That's how she ended up here; now following Andy into his house as she yelled her goodbyes to her parents. "Welcome! It isn't much, I hope you like it still."

Y/N looked around in awe. The place was well-kept, the colour theme for almost everything was either beige or brown. It all looked very modern and cool. "Are you kidding? This is awesome!" He chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Let me show you to your room." Both of them walked up the stairs and stopped at the first door. Andy opened the door and another gasp left her lips.

"Wow," she whispered automatically and Andy smiled to himself. "I take it that you like it," he drawled, closing the door behind them as they walked into the room. Y/N kept her luggage on the bed and sat down, swinging her legs. "Thanks for all this, Mr Barber, it's appreciated." He scoffed. "Andy," he rectified, "And it was not a problem at all, Y/N, you're my friend."

A chill ran down her spine. His friend? He considered her to be a friend? "A friend, huh, I'm… I'm honored," she chuckled and he grinned. "I'll leave you be now, get comfortable." He waved at her and left the room, going downstairs to get a glass of water for himself. Y/N spent the rest of the day at her place, only returning at nighttime after dinner.

That's how it went for a week. She'd be at her job most days, would have dinner with her parents at night and then would finally walk into Andy's house to get some sleep. She liked the routine, and so did he. When she wasn't at her job, she'd spend the day in the living room of her own, or rather, her parents' house. Only, something changed a week later.

Andy was running late that day. As he drove home, at nearly 1:30 am, he was sure that he was going to be greeted by a quiet and empty house, Y/N already asleep in her room. She always fell asleep before 11:30, he didn't know how she did it. After parking his car in his garage, he walked into the sitting room only to see Y/N sitting in front of the television. She looked up and swtiched it off when he walked in.

"Mr Barber, hi." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Darling, is everything okay?" he asked worriedly, sitting next to her. The dried tear stains on her cheeks made it clear that she had been crying. "I'm fine," she insisted, in vain. Andy gently cupped her cheeks, running his fingers over the stains. "You've been crying, honey, tell me what happened. I'll make it better," he whispered and Y/N melted against him.

"Um, can I… can I please… can I hug you?"

Without another word, Andy pulled her to him, her head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around her middle. She snuggled into his side. "I just had a bad dream," she mumbled, burying her face in his chest. His arm rose and he delicately cradled her head, massaging her hair with his fingers. Y/N whimpered at the soothing sensation and Andy's heart raced.

"I'm here now, sweetheart, you have nothing to be worried about. I'll protect you, come what may," he uttered softly, almost in a daze. Something inside Y/N stirred deeply when he said those words. She pulled away slightly and he looked down at her, a questioning look on his face. Y/N blushed under his intense stare. "I, um… can I… kiss you?" Her question made Andy's heart beat faster.

Consent? Check.

Gently grabbing her jaw, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, pulling her into his lap. Y/N kissed back just as fervently, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" Andy asked huskily upon pulling away. "How long?" Y/N squeaked. "Ever since I first saw you. You won my heart right there, Y/N, right at that dinner. The moment I saw you, I knew that you had ruined all women for me."

"Same. I mean, I— not women, obviously, I'm not attracted to other women— men, but—" Andy chuckled and kissed her again, cutting off her rambling. "God, I need to feel you, love, why don't we go upstairs?" It turned out to be a rhetorical question as he immediately stood up, easily carrying Y/N up the stairs. Y/N wrapped her legs around his torso.

He placed her down on his bed, in his bedroom and settled between her legs, hungrily kissing down her body. He used his tongue to stimulate her first, pulling orgasm after orgasm after her. She had never had these many orgasms in one night and that wasn't lost on Andy. "No one has ever made you feel this good, right, darling? Only I can do it this good." Y/N whined loudly when his tongue circled her bud.

"Bet those nasty boys your age have never made you feel this way. Worshipped. You're mine, Y/N, only mine. Say it." Y/N was too overwhelmed to respond, only a pathetic "yours" leaving her lips as she came again. For the… third? No, fourth time? She definitely lost count. "You're so fucking gorgeous," Andy moaned as he emerged from between her thighs, his jaw and chin covered in her juices.

He had eaten her out so well, like her a hungry man offered a meal after a long starvation. Like she was his last meal. Y/N blushed at the sight of him, covering her face with her hands. Andy easily shoved the hands aside, leaning in to kiss her. "All mine. Beautiful. Mine, only mine," he grunted possessively and Y/N gasped when she felt something poking her thigh. She looked down and saw him. He was giant.

"It's too big," she blurted out and Andy chuckled, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. "You'll be okay." Grabbing the base of his shaft, he slowly pushed inside of her, giving her time to adjust to his size. Y/N winced at the burn on her hips but when he bottomed out inside her, all the pain was replaced by pleasure. "Fuck, so fucking tight," Andy helplessly groaned, leaning forward and resting his forehead against her shoulder.

"Please, please move." Andy complied, thrusting into her at a slow pace at first but when he was certain she was able to handle it, he sped up. Y/N moaned right into his ear as he nibbled on her neck, leaving behind dark, red marks. Now everyone will know she's taken. The moan fueled his libido and he sped up more, growling deep in his chest.

Y/N's eyes flew open at the animalistic sound and she gripped his shoulders, trying to steady herself as she moved like a rag doll against him and his powerful thrusts. "Scream my name, darling, tell everyone who's making you feel so good. Tell everyone you belong to me and me only. You're mine, all mine. I'm never letting you go," he snarled as he neared his release. "Andy," Y/N screamed shamelessly.

"That's it, doll. Months, for months I've tried to get you to say my name. Is that why you've been avoiding it? Can't help but imagine being under me and moaning my name every time you heard it?" he groaned brusquely and Y/N jerked, her orgasm hitting her unexpectedly. "Yes," she whimpered at his previous comment but Andy couldn't speak. Holy shit, she just squirted all over my bed.

His taut abdomen, his shaft, his thighs and his bed were all drenched. Y/N was lying on the bed, her eyes closed, convulsing as she reeled in from the first-time experience. "Shit, baby, do you see this? You just squirted all over me," Andy laughed breathlessly, leaning over to press his lips to hers. Y/N cocked an eye open as a blush spread across her cheeks.

"I what?! Oh my God, I'm so sorry—"

Andy entered her core with one swift motion, shutting her up. "That was fucking hot, doll, do it again," he urged and resumed his fast pace. Y/N cried out tiredly, her eyes landing on the clock in the corner of the room. It's been an hour?! How much energy does this man have? "Andy, I'm—" He was already close to his release and when she took his name, he was done. He pulled out of her and spilled his seed all over her chest and face, groaning loudly.

Then he spit on his fingers and brought them to her bud, furiously rubbing until she squirted again, right on his face. "Oh my God," Andy groaned, licking up and swallowing all her juices. "Andy, I'm tired…" She couldn't even lift a finger, that's how spent she was.

Andy was a sight. All wet, from top to bottom, covered in her juices, he looked like he had just stepped out of a swimming pool. "Okay, baby girl, get some sleep. I'll take care of you." And he did, he gently cleaned her up as she dozed off, and carried her to her room. He then hopped into the shower for a quick wash, dried himself up, put on some boxers and went to Y/N's room as well.

The bed in his room was… well, let's just say it was done for. He was going to be throwing the mattress out the next day, he knew that. When he walked into her room, his heart melted at the sight of her deep asleep, still naked, curled up on her side. He shut the door behind him and walked towards the bed, easily sliding in next to her. He pulled the covers on top of them and pulled Y/N into his arms, dropping a kiss to her shoulder.

"I love you, angel. So sweet, only mine."

---

A/N: This is the first time I've posted smut and a non-marvel fic 😳 I know it's probably not that good but thanks for reading anyway! Leave a like if you enjoyed!

[gay-otlc]

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline  smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst  to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

[luminisvii]

RATING! ALL! THE CHAR CLONES!

i love char and gundam loves him too so because i am BORED i'm gonna rate all characters that the wiki tells me qualifies as a char clone!

many of these men will be rated on aesthetics and their wiki blurb alone since i have not watched all gundams

i tried to include pics but it SAID i can only use ten. WHAT? how am i supposed to rate how sexy they are?

Char Aznable

the man. the myth. the legend. i love him so much. hes super fucking hot bc of how bad he is. like an absolute madlad he goes around destroying the zabis and giving amuro hell. hes so good that despite being on team evil he regularly tops popularity polls and is widely regarded as being super attractive. im asexual but i agree. char is supreme. he and his red mobile suits cannot be topped. 20/10

Quattro Bajeena

now, char might be evil, but this guy is totally a stand up dude who is definitely not char. and the hyaku shiki? top tier. also very sexy. maybe char should take a lesson or two from this lovely man. 18/10 could not possibly be char himself

Glemy Toto

i have not watched ZZ. this dude upholds the tradition of stupid ass names in gundam. he just kinda look like hes a good person, though, which would be nice, but i prefer the evil men here. 6/10 love the idiotic name

Afranche Char

apparently a literal char clone. don't give a fuck. 1/10

Carozzo Ronah/Iron Mask

this guy really takes the mask thing seriously. i have also not watched F91. i love the just robot lookin mask and the purple color scheme. 8/10

Anavel Gato

this guy is kind of a chump. i get the feeling i'm supposed to find gato very cool, but all i could see was a total loser pushover as long as it was in the name of zeon. although to be fair, he was basically one of the most enjoyable characters in the mess that is stardust memory. 7/10 too much of a zeon apologist

Chronicle Asher

i called gato a chump but this guy looks like a tool. hes got the mask! i know nothing about victory gundam but this guy looks like, okay. 5/10

Schwarz Bruder

im ignoring the other guy listed with him on the wiki bc Herr Bruder is in fact, awesome. he isn't on team evil like some others, but he doesn't need to be. hes a JESTER NINJA. what's not to love? somehow, despite me thinking i knew the twist that was coming, he was still full of surprises. you cannot possibly predict the actual twist here. he really teaches domon how to get shit done. 15/10 absolutely sublime take on the trope

Zechs Marquise

not only is he voiced by takehito koyasu, but he chars so hard he chars three times as fast! we LOVE his dedication to being a char clone. i will never forget how treize challenged him to a fair fight and he was just like nah lmao. you go you stinky man! 10/10 for char-ing hard

Lancerow Dawell and Jamil Neate

i am fascinated by after war X and i'll watch it one day. it seems like the wiki is confused about these two and is going with very surface level details for these two being char clones. however i'll rate them both higher bc i think mr. neate's sideburns and glasses are just top tier character design. 9/10

Harry Ord

10/10

Rau le Creuset

i think i saw him in the like three episodes of SEED i watched. he definitely looks the part. seems kinda lame though. 6/10

Athrun Zala

this kid is hilarious, and also the most likable character i met in SEED, and he even has a quattro phase as he goes by alex dino! we'll give him points for effort. 9/10 you tried

Neo Roanoke

definitely not mu la flaga. hes also voiced by takehito koyasu. his mask looks kinda dumb, but i think the long hair look upgrades my man mu. takehito koyasu makes everything sexier. 8/10 bc i also simp for dio brando

Rey Za Burrel

how many char clones does the SEEDverse have? i do appreciate rey's early 2000s brooding anime boy look, though. 5/10

Gilbert Durandal

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SEED CHARS!!! this guy doesn't even look like a char clone, but he has the same voice actor and also apparently tries to drop shit on earth. we stan a king, honestly. 6/10 being in SEED deducts points

Hal Vizardt and Vladi Zarth

the wiki wont even give me a picture of these guys. 2/10 they get a point each

Ali Al-Saachez

i hate this guy. he sucks. normally i would find such endless villainy entertaining, but ali simply cannot work it in a way that's fun to watch or even in a way where you're like 'he's got a point.' he just sucks and i wish he could have been funny. we already have a char clone in graham anyway, so why are you here? bitch. 0/10 i was waiting for him to die

Graham Aker

he has all the tropes of being a char clone, and i loved him at first bc of his flair for drama and poetry, but alas! he got more and more sidelined for a different motherfucker. it's okay graham, i still love you! your mr. bushido phase was hilarious! 9/10 you deserved so much more

Full Frontal

hes getting points for the hilarious name but thats it. he is otherwise very boring. you cannot make me love a man just bc he is a literal char clone. 3/10

Zeheart Galette

AGE is also on my "deeply fascinated" list. eventually, eventually. i kinda dig this one's look. 7/10

Tatsuya Yuuki

initially, i hated yuuki bc i thought he was beating on middle schoolers for fun, but then i learned the dude is so goddamn passionate about gundam that he HAS to share it with others and honestly? king shit. while he's technically a char clone, i think he's actually a graham aker clone. the dude stans 00. an admirable position to be in. i love yuuki so much and hes my favorite build fighters character. 15/10 i will always respect the meijin

Captain Mask

the name is hilarious. hes got a cool mask too. i'll maybe watch recon one day bc of how ridiculous the reputation is. 8/10

Lady Kawaguchi

the rare female one, and proves that the kawaguchi name requires you to be extra as fuck. compared to yuuki's raw passion, she's cool and knows it, and doesn't need to flex. sadly doesn't get to do a lot. 10/10

McGillis Fareed

MCGILLIS MY BELOVED!!!! perhaps the only char clone that matters. this dude brings back the classic level of backstabbing, the supreme attractiveness, and in general, being an awful person. but i can't help but feel for the guy. he was trying his goddamn hardest to overturn a fucked up system. he also simply could not fathom having friends. mcgillis might only do the mask thing for a little and also wears a wig (McWiggis) but i forgive him, because the moves he does in bael are truly sexy. i adore mcgillis i have to rate him high but he cannot overtake the classic. 19/10 would let him betray me

Kyoya Kujo

even the wiki doesn't seem confident in this one. i like his look though. hes kinda got some gentle eyes, so i will assume he's the more quattro flavor of things. 6/10

Masaki Shido

BRUHHHH HE LOOKS LIKE A KNIGHT. 10/10

Honorable Mentions:

Master Asia

i didn't think he truly qualified as a char clone. he hits the villain thing and technically has some ideals aligned with char ? but he's a little too different. lacks majority of the archetype tropes. i still love him though 9/10

Vidar

hes got a mask and wants revenge. definitely not gaelio. the problem is, we already have mcgillis in IBO. i just don't register gaelio as being a char clone, because mcgillis is out here being the worst. gaelio is a wonderful character in his own right for all the opposite reasons that mcgillis is fantastic for being the worst. 10/10 i want nothing but the best for him

Ulube Ishikawa

just bc he has a mask covering half his face and is evil doesn't mean he's a char clone, wiki! and how dare you take away from schwarz just to be like "well ulube has a mask" WE HAVE ONE ALREADY!!! i also hate ulube. he is not a particularly charismatic character, but he isn't supposed to be. 2/10

and thus is my arbitrary ranking of the char clones. some people think char clones are bad. i for one, love them! i hope future entries have more masked men.

[halinski]

Day 5 of @sterekweek-2020 and @acesterek week! Loved this one bc I've always been DYING to include Shakespeare in my fic(let)s!! Haha

-

-

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"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs," Stiles says, seeing as he steps up to the LGBTQ Club's club room just in time to catch Derek's sigh. Let it be recorded that he's a dramatic bitch. In his defense, this is Derek fucking Hale standing in front of his clubhouse, seeming deliberating if he should enter. Hopefully.

Hope is a dangerous thing but oh, how Stiles loves the thrill.

Derek only seems to stiffen when he turns to look at Stiles, all doe-eyed.

"I- uh… what?" The older boy stammers and Stiles feels the heat rise to his cheeks. Sometimes he forgets not everyone is a drama and history geek. And even if they are, people don't usually go about spouting Shakespeare quotes. Stiles' friends are used to it but Derek is, regrettably, a jock. Then again, jocks have their own profitable sides.

Stiles shakes it all off with a wave of his hand.

"Nevermind me! This is just a thing I do. Classic Stiles. That's me. Stiles," he blurts out and thrusts his hand towards Derek, which he instantly regrets because since when do jocks shake hands?

He marches on, turning to the door and stepping through. Stiles lifts his arms.

"Welcome to my kingdom! Well, it's not my kingdom, unfortunately. I wish I could be king, even if it were just over a room for a limited amount of time but what I mean to say, this is the LGBTQ+ Club Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:15 till we get kicked out and I am the president of the club, so here we are." He's halfway into the room when he notices Derek has only taken two steps in and then stopped.

"Unless you're not here for that, which is totally cool too," he quickly adds. It's a lie, but hey, he doesn't want to scare the boy off.

"No." Derek says, cautiously taking another step forward but still looking wildly out of place and uncomfortable. "I mean, yes, I am here for that… not something else."

Poor guy almost looks like he's about to faint and Stiles wishes he could do something to make him feel more at ease.

"I'm uh, Derek Hale," he says and Stiles almost lets out a snort.

"Yeah, I know… you are the school's superstar after all, everyone kinda knows your name. Must be super weird, huh? But dude, seriously, everyone here is super chill so don't worry about it. No one's going to call you out or force you to do anything." Stiles smiles as he dumps his backpack on the desk next to the couch and starts pulling out some of his newest gatherings, new stickers mostly, and the usual pins and flags.

"Feel free to look around and basically do whatever you want, if you want. I'm always here early but not many other people are, so you've got about another 10-ish to 20 minutes before people start filing in if you just want the space to yourself," Stiles continues. He chances a glance over at Derek and notices him still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Leaning back on the desk, Stiles braces his arms behind him.

"Sorry, I know I talk a lot. Everyone complains about it. But on the plus side, I can answer any and all questions you might have. Nothing is off limits, I promise you, so I'm here at your disposal."

Derek's eyes bore into his and suddenly Stiles questions every single decision he has made in his life ever. A sharp pain in his lips draws his attention to his nervous lip biting. Embarrassing.

"Do you know all of Shakespeare's stuff by heart?" Derek then asks, slowly sauntering closer.

Stiles opens his mouth but his brain is slow to process the quite personal question which has nothing to do with queerness whatsoever. Or well..

"Okay, fair. Shakespeare's pretty gay. Very gay actually, even though they won't teach you that in class, no siree. But anyway, no, I don't know everything. I'd need like a superbrain for that. Wish I could though, that'd be pretty awesome."

"Shakespeare's gay?" Derek asks and if Stiles isn't mistaken there's a smile slowly showing on his face, next to the perpetual look of astonishment.

"Oh, yeah, dude. Like, super gay. You must have heard by now that there's so many dick jokes in his texts. Like, in the plays, oh man. I have most of those memorized, by the way. And I can assure you that those dick references are not all just about pleasuring the ladies," Stiles replies. He's kind of tripping over here. Hello, he's talking to Derek Hale about dick jokes, and yeah, his hopes are way across and over the rainbow by now.

"Maybe that's why I try so hard to rise to his image, I wanna be the best bi can be." He can't help it. It's always a relieving rush to advertise his queerness. Thankfully, Derek's looking more and more relaxed and not like he's going to flee any second.

"That's the middle pin there, right?" Derek gestures to Stiles' backpack, which proudly sports multiple flags and queer quotes and images. One of the biggest one of course, is the big flag.

He beams back at Derek. "Yup, that's the one. That's me."

It's hard to resist asking the beautiful raven-haired boy if he has any interest in the same sex, too, but Stiles manages to keep his mouth shut. This is going too well for him to wreck. He wants Derek to come back, after all.

The butterflies do run rampant all throughout him, from his toes and all the way up to his fingertips and nose, when Derek directs that crooked smile of his at him.

"What about the other big one next to it?" Derek continues, glancing back to the backpack.

This is where Stiles hesitates just for a second but calms his panicking heart with iron-willed resolve.

"That's the ace flag. Asexual pride, that is." He feels ready to vibrate out of his skin, waiting for Derek's reaction. He's never been this scared of a rejection or attack, but then again, he hasn't crushed on someone this hard since Lydia in 3rd grade which basically just ended up being admiration and wonderful friendship.

"I think I read about that," Derek says thoughtfully, eyes still glued to the backpack.

Might they have that in common? Stiles' heart beats so loud he's sure Derek can hear it.

"So, maybe not as big of a fan of dick jokes as Shakespeare?" Derek then says casually, in that uber cool way of his, backpack hanging over one shoulder and hands in his pockets. It's the last thing Stiles expects, and he blinks- before bursting out with a laugh.

"Okay fine, you got me there," Stiles says with a remaining chuckle.

Derek grins at him.

Stiles totally does not melt. He doesn't. Nope. No sir.

"You're robbing me of my dreams here, Hale," Stiles quips. "What, are you coming for my position as president here next?"

"Well… you are only a freshman, right? Which is both kind of curious and terrifying…"

"Oh, I will fight you for the position. You can take my word for it," Stiles warns.

This is the end of the world, folks. You heard it here first. Stiles is bantering with Derek Hale. Reality is about to shift and collapse…

"I guess for now I'll just- I think I'll stay for today's meeting," Derek says, with a slight nervous shift in his posture, but an oh so adorable smile.

"Awesome, dude," is the best thing Stiles can say without making a total and utter fool of himself.

Reality might just be exploding and expanding I to a whole new world.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Books 15-18 of 26

Titles: The Murderbot Diaries -- All Systems Red (#1), Artificial Condition (#2), Rogue Protocol (#3), and Exit Strategy (#4) (2017-2018)

Author: Martha Wells 

Genre/Tags: Science Fiction, Cyberpunk (ish), Novella, Agender/Nonbinary Protagonist, Asexual Protagonist, First Person 

Rating: 9/10 (note: this is an average-- see under the cut for individual ratings) 

Date Began: 6/15/2020

Date Finished: 6/23/2020 

Murderbot is a SecUnit -- a humanoid security construct created to protect contracted clients in a corporate, spacefaring future. Following mysterious/murderous events in its past, Murderbot hacked the governor module controlling its actions. Now it prefers to watch media serials and half-ass the whole “protecting human clients” thing. 

This changes when it discovers someone is sabotaging its clients’ planetary mission, putting the team in grave danger. Even worse, these new clients start to treat it like a person, much to Murderbot’s discomfort. In the resulting fallout, Murderbot finds itself answering questions it’s avoided thus far -- who it is, and what it really wants. 

I’m doing something a little different and combining these four novellas into one review; they are too short and interconnected to review individually in my regular format. Under the cut, I’ll start with my overall impressions of the series, then a look at/rating of each individual story. 

Who knew being a heartless killing machine would present so many moral dilemmas. 

(Yes, that was sarcasm.) 

Overall Thoughts 

I really enjoyed this series! The strong point is without a doubt Wells’ excellent characterization of a distinctly non-human viewpoint character. Murderbot is a very interesting protagonist, and its constant snark and parenthetical asides are a joy to read. Much to its dismay, there’s also a lot of emotional punch entwined in Murderbot’s character arc and interactions. Murderbot may not be a human, but it’s definitely a person. 

It seems obvious to me that Murderbot is intended to be autism spectrum/ADHD coded. I’ve never encountered an unambiguously heroic protagonist that displays similar behaviors to my own, and it’s affirming to read. Difficulty with processing emotion? Hyperfixating on media to comfort itself? Issues with direct eye contact and touch? Truly a bot after my own heart. Honestly, I dreaded the point in the story where these are presented as weaknesses for Murderbot to overcome... and was overjoyed that it never happens. In fact, characters accommodate these aspects of Murderbot’s behavior/personality and respect its boundaries. This totally surprised and impressed me. 

Finally, I do really appreciate Wells’ approach to nonbinary characters. While it’s nice that we’re getting more representation, it can be very grating/telling if all nonbinary characters in popular media are nonhuman. Wells asks “why not both” and introduces a nonbinary human that uses neopronouns in Artificial Condition! I don’t use neopronouns myself, but I know plenty of people who do, and this is the first “mainstream” thing I’ve ever seen use them. 

I found this first arc in The Murderbot Diaries relatable, entertaining, approachable, and easy to read. I’m super excited to see where the series goes from here. 

All Systems Red (#1) -- 8/10 

It’s wrong to think of a construct as half bot, half human. It makes it sound like the halves are discrete, like the bot half should want to obey orders and do its job and the human half should want to protect itself and get the hell out of here. As opposed to the reality, which was that I was one whole confused entity, with no idea what I wanted to do. What I should do. What I needed to do. 

This is a good introduction to the premise. Murderbot's interactions with the human characters are a highlight throughout the series, but I think it’s especially true in this part. Wells does an excellent job, as many others have said, making a distinctly nonhuman perspective character sympathetic, interesting, and relatable. I like that the human characters treat Murderbot like a person/member of the team by default and generally respect its personal limits-- AND we didn't get some trite cliche about it-- AND that this throws Murderbot into an emotional crisis because it hasn't experienced this before.

If I have criticism here, it’s that the plot feels incidental; more a vehicle for certain character interactions than an involving story in and of itself. While the conflict and central antagonist do return in Exit Strategy, in this one they don’t feel especially relevant. The narrative thrust is more about Murderbot's personal development and denial/coming to terms with its attachment to the human characters, especially Dr. Mensah.

To be fair, it is weird to give this a numeric score because it feels like rating the first fourth of a full novel. So take this with a grain of salt. 

Artificial Condition (#2) -- 9/10

But there weren’t any depictions of SecUnits in books, either. I guess you can’t tell a story from the point of view of something that you don’t think has a point of view.  

Artificial Condition introduces another nonhuman character who is distinctly different from Murderbot, yet still fun and compelling: ART the research ship! Who’s moonlighting as a cargo transport. It's the ship on the cover, which I didn’t know going in, and this blew my mind for some reason. Anyway, the friendship between ART and Murderbot was really fun and genuine. I know ART shows up later, so I’m very excited for that; it adds a lot to the narrative. While I didn’t find the human cast as interesting as in All Systems Red, I do appreciate that there’s an actual nonbinary human character. 

The plot of Artificial Condition is still pretty secondary, but it does connect to Murderbot’s past, so I found it more engaging. In general, Murderbot gets a lot of interesting character development, and over time gains a lot of nuance. I think this is great, considering how complex and well-written it is from the start. There’s an excellent moment of delayed emotional payoff near the end when Murderbot helps a character after learning something earlier in the story. It’s hard to describe without spoilers, but I thought this was really cool. 

Rogue Protocol (#3) -- 9/10

Or Miki was a bot who had never been abused or lied to or treated with anything but indulgent kindness. It really thought its humans were its friends, because that’s how they treated it. 

I signaled Miki I would be withdrawing for one minute. I needed to have an emotion in private. 

Like Murderbot, I find myself missing ART, but we do get an alternate nonhuman character in Miki. Overall, Murderbot's character arc feels way more connected to the conflict and action in this story than the previous installments, which is nice. While this is presumably a throwaway cast based in the ending, I thought Miki and Don Abene's friendship was an interesting foil to what I assume is going to happen with Murderbot and Dr. Mensah.

While this trait has been present throughout, this installment makes it very clear that despite its protests, Murderbot genuinely does want to help and protect people of its own free will, even when doing so is not the quickest or most self-preserving choice. There are multiple points in this story (and the previous ones) where Murderbot could choose to save itself or abandon people in need. But it doesn’t; it just sighs and complains about having to protect stupid humans. I love Murderbot. 

Also, this is one of those works where the meaning of the title doesn't really hit until you finish it, and oof.

Exit Strategy (#4) -- 10/10

So the plan wasn’t a clusterfuck, it was just circling the clusterfuck target zone, getting ready to come in for a landing. 

This one just slaps from start to finish. We get the full post-development emotional payoff re: Murderbot’s complicated feelings about the humans from All Systems Red. The characterization, plot, humor, and action are all on-point and the best in the series.  

I don’t really have anything else to say except this is an awesome conclusion to the first arc, and definitely my favorite of the 4 stories. I’m excited to see where things go from here. 

[baloobird]

I'm sorry if this is too personal or prying, but I was wondering how you came to realize that you were asexual?? I've been thinking lately and I think that might be the best way to describe how I feel. It's just hard because I have this crush on my friend but I've been doubting whether or not it's real just because I can't see it being sexual in nature. I know that's not how it has to work. But part of me feels like it's selfish to say I want what we have, but a step further with more cuddles??

Awww dude, you’re not prying at all, I’m glad you came to me about this!!! 

Before I get into my self-discovery, I want to say that your feelings are absolutely and completely valid. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are 2 different things, you can have romantic attraction and still experience zero sexual attraction and I’m thinking that might your feelings here 

AND THAT’S OKAY.

Granted, no one knows your feelings better than you, so if you disagree with what I say, that’s completely valid 💜

These feelings for your friend are absolutely real, don’t doubt yourself about that but take a step back and ask yourself what kind of a crush it is (I know this is kinda weird, but bear with me). Do you want to pursue a relationship with this friend, do you want to go on dates with this friend, do you want to kiss, cuddle, and/or hold hands with this friend?

Or do you just really like being their friend and you don’t actually want to pursue a relationship? 

I know, this sounds weird 😂 but this was one of the things that made me realize that I was not only asexual but also somewhere on the aromantic spectrum as well: the few crushes I had in school, I didn’t actually want to date them, I just liked being their friend. I never wanted to go on dates with them or anything, I was cool with us just being bros.

And it is not selfish. Like I said, your feelings are valid and you can’t change your feelings so if you want to go a step further and increase those cuddles YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN. But the most important thing is communication, tell this crush how you feel, and if it does progress into a relationship, please, for the love of God, talk about boundaries. PLEASE tell them what’s comfortable for you and what isn’t (wow this is getting long, I’m so sorry) 😂

As for me finding out my identity, it’s a little complicated cuz i repressed it for so long before I finally started to accept it. But I was in high school (so 15-16ish) when I realized that I was different from everyone else IRL and on TV in that I didn’t understand why everyone wanted to have sex so much. I didn’t (and still don’t) understand what was such a big deal about it, why does everyone wanna do it, is it really as great as everyone says it is?

At first I shrugged it off, passed myself off as a “late-bloomer”, I’m sure sex will appeal to me when I get older...spoiler alert: nothing’s changed and it’s been 12 years 😂

I was in college (around 20 to 21ish) when I first heard the word “asexual” in passing while on campus. I forgot about it until I got back to my apartment and I decided to look it up. And it made so much sense.

Asexuality is in short, lack sexual attraction. Since it’s a spectrum, every ace is different, some like sex (because sexual attraction and sexual desire are also 2 different things), some don’t (like me), some are neutral, they can take it or leave it.

So for me, seeing the word and its definition, everything added up: I never had a desire to have sex, never saw the appeal, never looked at someone and went “I want to have sex with that person”, never had a single urge to have sex (nothing is happening ‘downstairs’ bruh, they’re just living their best life 😂). 

In short, sex is the last thing on my mind. 

So if you relate to any of these things, there is a good chance that you might be asexual and dude that’s freaking awesome (also HI CAN WE BE FRIENDS?!) and you’re not alone, there’s a good amount of aces in this fandom and they’d welcome you with open arms, me included. But hey, if you find that this isn’t you, that’s awesome too, and you seem like a cool person and I wanna be friends anyway so again HI! 

Thank you so much for sending me this ask! I hope this made sense and I hope it helps you (again, sorry I wrote a fucking book LOL), and good luck with your crush please let me know how it goes!!! And keep in mind, you are absolutely valid  💜💜💜💜💜

[blacknight1230]

Inexperienced - Otis Milburn Imagine (2/?)

After school, while waiting for Eric, Otis is surprised to have his crush, (y/n), come up to him. The two end up having a bonding experience as (y/n) brings Otis to her favorite spot in town, and learn new things about each other as trust builds between the two. All of this makes Otis wonder if things between them are as platonic as they seem. 

Part 1

“Where’s Eric? He should be done with his classes now,” Otis said as he waited by the bike rack in front of the school. “Hey, Otis!” a voice shouted, causing the dark-haired boy to turn towards the source. Coming out of the school’s front entrance, was (y/n), a smile on her face and happiness in her eyes. Otis nervously waved at her, surprised by his friend, and crush, of two months randomly being here at this time. School wa slet out fifteen minutes ago after all and most students would literally sprint out of class, and the school itself, when they were able to. 

(Y/n) quickly caught up to him, holding the strap of her backpack. “Eric told me to tell you he’s sorry he couldn’t walk back with you today. He still has detention with Mr. Kendricks he’s got to deal with,” (y/n) apologized for her other friend. “It’s okay. Eric probably is getting sick and tired of being with me all the time anyway,” Otis tried to joke around, but it sounded more depressing than funny. “Oh, that’s not true. Eric loves you. In a non-romantic way, obviously,” (y/n) reassured him. Otis stifled a burst of laughter at the last sentence, but a smile still made its way to his lips. “Is it okay if I walk with you instead? My house is on the way,” (y/n) asked. “Sure, why not,” Otis said calmly. But on the inside, he was screaming and flailing around. 

(y/n) continued to chat with Otis as he walked alongside his bicycle. “So, anything new happened today?” Otis asked, starting the conversation. “Nothing much. Maeve has started to trust me more. Enough for her to confide in me about her family life,” (y/n) said, staring off into the distance as they traveled along the walking bridge Otis took to get to and from school everyday. “That’s actually awesome. I’m glad you and her are getting along so well. She never talks about stuff like to that to just anyone. The only one she’s talk to  about her home life was me.” “I understand why she does. With everyone calling her Cockbiter, she doesn’t need other people to tease her about her non-existent family”, (y/n) said. 

A brief silence was shared between the two, before (y/n) broke it. “Hey, do you want to see something cool?” (y/n) asked excitedly, here eyes shining with excitement. Otis was so entranced by her innocent joy that she’ll be able to show him something so special to her that he just had to agree. “Alright, lead the way,” he said. (y/n) squealed in excitement and smiled widely, teeth shining brightly as she grabbed Otis’s hand and pulled him along. A blush burned on his cheeks at the girl holding his hand, but (y/n) seemed oblivious to this. So, (y/n) led him away from his usual route, through the trees, across a stream, and into a field of flowers overlooking the town. 

(y/n) let go of Otis’s hand and ran into the seemingly endless rows of wild flowers. Otis could only look at the scene with amazement, the sun warm on his skin, the scent of flowers wafting through the air. “Otis! Come sit next to me!” (y/n) yelled from her spot on the flowery hill. Otis had no trouble finding his new friend, the flowers and grass, not the high enough to hide a person if they want to rest and enjoy the scenery sitting down. He sat next to (y/n), the wild green grass tickling the palms of his hands. “So, what do you think of my little spot?” (y/n) asked, as they stared at the town below. “It’s so peaceful here. How have I never been here before?” Otis wondered out loud. “I found this place about a month ago. It’s quickly been my go to place to get away from the drama of school and everyday life,” (y/n) explained. Her eyes were closed as she basked in the afternoon sunlight. She looks absolutely perfect, Otis thought as he admired her. They sat and enjoyed the silence as they watched the world go by from their little slice of heaven. 

“Otis,” (y/n) said as the sky turned pink, the sun about to set. “Can I confide in you about something?” “Of course,. You can trust me. And I promise not to tell anyone if you’re worried,” Otis replied, wondering what she wanted to tell him. A part of him was happy that she wanted to confide in him about her worries, too. (y/n) inhaled, then started to speak. “Do you ever feel like you’re completely clueless about relationships?” she asked as she looked at the landscape. “What?” Otis was confused; what did she mean? “Like I feel completely oblivious about love and maintaining a good romantic relationship. I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything and usually its because I’m scammed I’ll do the wrong thing. And everyone seems to be experts in this field. Hell, I just saw a couple fucking behind the bushes on in front of the school!” 

Otis chuckled at the last sentence in her little rant, having seen the same exact thing every day of school and complained about it too. “Hey, you can’t be the only one who feels this way,” Otis tried to reassure her. “It seems very unlikely. I feel so isolated because of it and like there is something wrong with me,” (y/n) said, fingers playing around with the strand and petals of flowers next to her. She was refusing to make eye contact with Otis. Said boy sat back and decided to tell her what he barely told anyone, even his mom. “Well, I’m still a virgin and sexually inexperienced,” he said, a blush coming to his cheeks. I can’t believe I’m telling her this, Otis though in embarrassment. “Really? So you feel the same way as I do,” (y/n) wondered out loud. “You can say that. But the thing is that I have more trouble than you do,” Otis admitted. “What do you mean?” 

“Um, it’s not something I usually talk about,” he said nervously, palms starting to sweat. “Come on, Otis. I told you about my embarrassing problems,” (y/n) tried to persuade him. “It’s hard to admit, especially to you. The only one who know about this is Eric. Well, besides my mom, but that’s because she’s very nosy.” (y/n) giggled when he complained about his mother. “Please, Otis, I promise not to tell anyone. This will just be between you and me.” “I don’t know ...” “Please, for me.” Otis stared at (y/n), heart strings being pulled, as she gave him a puppy-eyed look that he caved in from. “Ok,” he sighed. (y/n) smiled and repositioned herself in a comfortable position, eagerly waiting for him to began. I naturally trust her. Why? Otis thought before he began to tell her his most embarrassing secret. 

“God, I can’t believe I’m admitting this. Alright, here I go; I can’t masturabte,” he said, the last sentence being spoken in a rush. “Wait, you can’t ...” (y/n) trailed off and made hand motions for the act. “I mean, it works fine and everything and I know its natural and everyone does it, but I just ... can’t. I feel icky doing it,” Otis explained, cheeks hot as he admitted this. “Hmm, interesting. Have you thought that you might be celibate or asexual?” (y/n) asked, curious and seeming to understand him. “No, I’m definitely not either of those. I was dating Ola, before she broke it off with me, and I’m still plagued by hormonal teenage urges,” Otis tried to explain, without going into too much detail. 

“It might be psychological then. Like a bad memory pops up whenever you try it or think about it,” (y/n) pondered, trying to figure out the cause of Otis’s complex personal problem. “Maybe,” Otis mumbled. He specifically remembered the incident with Lily. When the weird girl tried to touch him and act sexy, which failed horribly, he did have a panic attack when the memory of him catching his father having sex with his patients behind his mother’s back popped up when Lily touched him. “Have you tried to talking to your mom? I know she’s a sex therapist, so maybe you can professional help from her,” (y/n) questioned. “Definitely not. I don’t need her to find out about this. She already embarasses me by nonchalantly talking about sex and telling people about my sex life. Well lack of a sexual live,” Otis ranted. 

“Sadly, you can’t go to the Clinic for help. I was actually thinking of going to it for my problem,” (y/n) said. “You were?” Otis said, amazed. “Yeah, but I like this way better. We both get to learn more about each other and build trust between us,” (y/n) continued, a bright smile on her face. Otis could feel his heart flutter in his chest from admiration, falling more in love with her. “I’m glad we got the chance to talk then,” Otis replied, bright blue eyes looking at the (h/c) haired girl next to him, with affectionate eyes. “And talk about what’s bothering you so much.” “Me, too, Otis. Me, too.” 

Otis noticed that his left hand and (y/n)’s right hand were resting next to each other on the grassy ground. Gaining a sudden wave of courage, he nonchalantly covered her hand with his, inwardly shuttering at the feeling of (y/n)’s soft warm skin. (y/n) didn’t move her hand when he ghosted his hand over hers, giving no indication besides a small smile that he did anything. If Otis’s heart wasn’t beating rapidly before, it definitely was when (y/n) shuffled closer to him and lightly laid her head on his shoulder, then gently grasped his left hand that Otis had laid over hers. He decided to just enjoy the moment, looking at the landscape before him as it slowly changed color as the sun started to set. 

The moment was interrupted by a phone rigging, the shrill noise braking the quiet and calm scene. (y/n) hurriedly detached herself from Otis, rummaging through her pants pockets looking for her phone. She eventually found it and quickly answered the phone call, speaking a frantic greeting in the speaker. Otis could hear a woman on the other end, talking loudly to the point she was almost screaming, yet he couldn’t hear what she said. “Sorry, mom, I’ll come home right now. I’ll be there soon,” (y/n) said before ending the call. “I’ve got to go home, Otis. I completely lost track of time and I made my mom worried,” she explained to Otis, getting up and gathering her stuff. “Oh. It’s okay. I’ve got to go home, too,” he reassured her, getting up from the ground, too. A part of Otis was sad that she had to leave, enjoying the way they just basked in each other’s presence and didn’t have to say a word to enjoy their time together. 

He grabbed his backpack and bike, silently followed (y/n) across the field of flowers, into the woods, past the little stream, and onto the walking/biking path that eventually led to the Otis’s street. Before the two went on their separate ways, (y/n) turned to Ots. “I enjoyed spending time with you, Otis. I can’t wait to do this again,” she said, a king smile on her face. “I did, too. I have a feeling I’ll keep going to that field again and again,” Otis replied, looking down at the (slightly/much) shorter girl, her infectious smile making its way to his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” (y/n) asked. “Of course. You’ll see me at my locker next to yours.” “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 

(y/n) suddenly left a small peck of her lips on his cheek, before leaving him frozen in shock at the wooden bridge. Otis could only stand there, his cheeks red, watching (y/n) rush back home. When her figure disappeared from his sight, Otis lifted a hand to feel the cheek she kissed, almost feeling the smoothness and warmth of her lips on his cheek. Otis started to half celebrate, half freak out about this. She kissed my cheek! I can’t believe it! Does that mean she likes me? Or was that a platonic kiss? Otis wondered. A text notification broke Otis away from his inward battle, making him take a look at his phone. He got a text from mother, who was wondering where he was and that dinner was waiting for him on the table. Otis quickly mounted his bike and pedalled away towards his house, the cheek kiss still on his mind. 

TO BE CONTINUED

[heartschoicegames]

Heart’s Choice Author Interview: RoAnna Sylver, “Dawnfall”

Find true love and family with a pirate crew at the ends of the universe, where aliens, ghosts, and portals open the space between worlds...and your heart. You are a Navigator, one who creates and guards portals from one dimension to another, wary of the liminal sea between them.

Your universe is made of two worlds: one contains the magic-infused world of Zephyria, and the other, the dystopian space station Eclipse. The worlds are balanced, until one day, an explosive disaster, a deadly energy storm, and an infamous pirate—the Ghost Queen—upend your life and plunge you into a race to save both worlds.

Dawnfall is a 232,000 word interactive romance novel by RoAnna Sylver,  one of the first set of games releasing with the launch of Heart’s Choice. I sat down with the author, RoAnna Sylver, to talk about writing interactive romance. Heart’s Choice games release December 2nd.

Dawnfall has frankly an insanely wonderful setting for a romance game. Tell me about the aliens, the pirates, the ghosts, and the alien-pirate-ghosts.

Hi there! I’m so glad you think this sounds fun! Yeah, Dawnfall is weird as heck, and that’s one of the things I love about this story. It’s weird in a way I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. I really just tried to put in everything I find fun or interesting, and that I’ve always wanted to write. Dawnfall started out as a total brain-candy project, and runs on pure Rule of Cool. Pirates? Yes. Magic? Yes. A slice of cyberpunk? Hell yes. Eerie ghosts and faerie-tale influences and memory-sharing potions? Giant bird people? The power of rock n’roll? Yes, yes, yes.

And also everybody’s dateable, and in a couple cases, dating each other. We weave a tangled web, but I think it’s a pretty badass and spectacular web.

You seem to really neatly straddle the genre fence here with a romance and sci-fi/fantasy. What was challenging about cramming all of that into one game?

Thank you so much for saying that. I’ve always adored SFF, and there’s so much in this genre-collection, so many extremes and concepts and contrasting colors, that I couldn’t limit myself to picking just one to play with. This weird game-book is kind of a love letter to fantasy and science fiction and haunted house stories and cyberpunk adventures—I thought a lot about the Disney movie Treasure Planet for its genre-blending beauty, and the Bioware game Mass Effect for its array of fascinating, multidimensional alien cuties to interact with and date… and then turned it up to eleven.

I guess you’d expect the challenge to be in making it all fit together/be “believable,” but I kind of threw that out the window. I don’t expect anyone to find it ‘realistic’ (setting-wise anyway; I tried to make every character ring true of course), and I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s silly, or doesn’t take it seriously. It is silly in a lot of ways. DAWNFALL is a giant ridiculous queer space magic pirate adventure, and the only goal is fun. If you have fun, I’ve done my job, and there should be something fun in here for everyone.

Did you have a favorite NPC you enjoyed writing most?

Honestly I love them all so much in different ways, and I know them so well by now it’s really second nature. Their voices come so easily and they’re all so much fun. The Queen’s swagger is awesome though, and her mental voice/mannerisms probably come through especially clearly. I love Zenith’s vulnerable moments when xie lets xir guard down and lets go of the need to entertain or please. I love Averis’s journey and growth from cute wibbly nerd to a confident swashbuckler (who is also still a cute wibbly nerd). I love how deeply Oz feels, how strongly he loves and remembers and honors memory, and how unafraid he is to show softness and warmth. And I love a certain spoilery ghost-babe and how they’re so full of joy at the beauty of life.

I do want to give special mention to Aeon, though. This is a story about connection, and I wanted to show that sibling bonds are every bit as important and strong as romantic or any other. I also wanted to show a complex, multidimensional antagonist figure who holds heartbreaking secrets along with authority, and is genuinely trying to do what she thinks is the best thing, and wants what’s best for you, the PC, even if you might not always agree. Her balance between being so emotionally guarded and determined and unyielding, while hopefully being extremely easy to read and tell what she wants and fears and loves—spoiler: you; she loves you!—was a challenge I hope I pull off.

…Also I enjoy any time Vyranix gets his pompous feathered ass handed to him. I think we all know a Vyranix, or at least of one, and it’s always fun to take them down, even in fantasy.

Who would you be romancing as a player?

I’m gonna say “everyone,” and here it won’t actually be cheating, because you can romance everyone! At once! In varying degrees/relationship dynamics and attractions. You don’t see a lot of polyamory-friendly games or books or anything really, and this is an incredibly important thing for me. The second I got the idea for Dawnfall I knew it had to let players romance anyone they wanted and show polyamory in a realistic, healthy light. I’m also a-spec (asexual and aromantic), and having not just good representation but being actively included and welcomed and celebrated in fiction is so huge too.

Dawnfall is a romance of course, being part of Heart’s Choice, but one of the single most vital elements for me is making it inclusive for aromantic and asexual players and player-characters. Essentially, I wanted to write a romance that didn’t penalize players for not experiencing the attractions the way we’re otherwise expected or required—and I’m so grateful that my amazing editors and community not only accepted but supported everything I was trying to do here. (It’s so refreshing not to have to fight for inclusion and freedom. It shouldn’t be, but it is.)

And that’s where the concept of “Heart-Stars” and “Same-Feathers” came from. I’ve never seen anything honor queerplatonic relationships like I’m trying to do here, and I want everyone, of every sexuality and attraction, to feel like they have a place here and can experience this adventure without limits. And I wanted to show that it’s a very normal thing, hence this being the same for the human characters as well as alien. (One of the nonbinary characters being human is also no mistake. I love me some wild alien genders, but there are tons of awesome nonbinary humans too!)

…That being said, I think I gave Averis most of my anxiety-issues, and would really just like to curl up with Oz and watch The Great British Bake-Off. That sounds like a perfect night in my books.

What were some of the things you found surprising about the game-writing process?

Coding was definitely the biggest learning curve. I’d never coded anything before in my life, and it’s such a new skillset to learn, entirely different from any kind of writing I’ve ever done. Sometimes it felt rewriting my brain, which did not at all do this intuitively—and also sometimes like I bit off much more than I could chew (first game ever being not only a huge piece of interactive fiction, but a polyamorous romance with aro and ace possibilities, and so many more variables than expected!), but it’s been worth it. Entirely. If my writing makes anyone feel seen and accepted and invited to have fun as they are, it’s worth every bit of struggle.

Also, oddly, interactive fiction is in some ways easier for me than writing a plain old book! Probably because I love AUs so much, and every choice in a game is like writing a tiny AU of the story, so I get to do the same scenes several different ways. My ADHD-brain finds something about this extremely satisfying, most likely because it somehow feels more like multitasking! Several stories in one, and if I like two ideas, I don’t have to pick just one to write!

Honestly though, I think the most surprising part is just being done, and…that I could do this at all. It was so huge, and took so long, and I learned so much, and every day I’m just kind of going “who the hell am I?” about doing all of this. I’m proud of it. I did a cool thing. And trying to get better at saying that.

And, what are you working on now?

I always have about 8 active projects going at once (which shouldn’t come as a surprise after last question!), but my next interactive fiction game is with Tales/Fable Labs! It’s shaping up to be a Dawnfall-sized project, but a little faster-moving and action-y.

It’s called Every Beat Belongs To You, and it’s a romantic thriller that feels like Twin Peaks meets Mr. Robot, with a smattering of Repo: The Genetic Opera. A creepy Pacific Northwest town with a secret (and a rash of ritualized murders), a super-slick medical research company whose flagship product is a 100% perfect synthetic heart, a mysterious new-age group, and a sister who went missing just before discovering how it’s all connected. Also five simultaneously-dateable (including ace and aro ships!) cuties of varying genders! Who will you trust with your heart?

I’m very excited about Everybeat, which should be just as queer, polyam, exciting, and weird as all my stuff! Aside from that, I’m working on Stake Sauce Book 2, its companion f/f vampire series Death Masquerade, and Chameleon Moon Book 3. I’m not always working…sometimes there are videogames, and sleep. But I really hope to have a lot more fun things to share soon!

Oh, and depending on how this weird, fun thing goes, I do have some ideas for prequel Dawnfall stories; maybe games, maybe books, but the ideas are there. The world—worlds, really—is so huge, and I’m not done playing in it yet! I also have some character art drawn, and I want to do a lot more of them. It’s another way to show love.

So thank you so much! I really hope Dawnfall is as fun to everyone to read/play as it was for me to write. I can’t wait to share it with you!