#batboys x reader incorrect quotes

[igotanidea]

Batfam incorrect quotes

Y/N: Dick, can I pick your brain on something?

Dick (grinning): only if I can pick you up at 8.

Y/N: .......

Y/N: Was that supposed to be your attempt at flirting with me?

[midnight-pluto]

Y/N, talking about red lobster: im a whore for the cheesy biscuits

Jason: you say you’re a whore for everything

Y/N: oh yeah like what?

Jason: bottled water, massages, internet, burt’s bees, french fries, american spirits, blink 182…

Y/N: we need to hang out less

[yourmomxx]

Jason: so how's winter going for you?

Y/N, who's violently shivering despite the fact that they’re wearing 7+ layers of clothing: fuck off

[lilylovelyxo]

*Y/N, Dick, and Roy watching Jason beat the shit out of a man for putting his hands on you*

Dick: “Oh, boy…”

Y/N: “I'm going to watch through my fingers. No, I'm not.”

Dick: “I'm going to look away.”

Roy: “I think we're gonna have to lay low for a little while after this.”

[bat-stuff]

Bruce to Y/n: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Young Dick: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER!?!??!?!

[sis-does-simp]

*breaking into Jason’s apartment*

Dick: Listen I know you said you didn’t take it but I just wanted to double check, are you sure you don’t have my-

*Sees Jason laying his head on y/n’s lap, wearing a purple fuzzy robe, hello kitty makeup band, and golden face mask, all while they’re watching 90 day fiancé and y/n is feeding cookies into his mouth*

Jason(with a mouthful of cookies): If anyone hears about this you’re dead.

*20 minutes later*

Dick: oh he is totally only in this for the money!

Y/n & Jason at the same time: it’s so obvious

[writers-block246]

Dick: no jason, you can’t have the last of Alfred’s brownies.

Jason: I can’t believe this. I die and this is how you treat me??

Tim: we’ve pretty much all died at this point, bro.

Damian: yeah, Todd. Find something new to use.

Jason: I literally can’t have anything in this family.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Dumb

Jason: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Y/N: Wow. They sound stupid.

Jason: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Y/N: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Jason: I guess you’re right. Hey Y/N, I love you.

Y/N: See! Just say that!

Jason: Holy fucking shit.

Y/N: If that flies over their head then, sorry Jason, but they're too dumb for you.

Jason: Y/N.

Dick in the corner eating popcorn: I live for this

[damianwayne0]

Y/n: Damian!

Damian: Yes beloved?

Y/n , putting on her shoe: I am going out ! Do u want something to eat !?

Damian, smirking : Yeah, you.

Y/n : ....*beep beep* *beep beep* Hey , Raven imma little sick, can we go out later? Thanks love ya~

Damian : I was kidding-

•The rest is unfortunately a history•

Raven: *sighs* I better get some nephews and nieces

[parkjammys]

Dick: I heard y/n yell at Jason to put the knife down, and I have never rushed into a room that fast before

Y/N: look we need tomatoes and lettuce, and look Jason has placed cucumbers and fish. YOU GOTTA PAY ATTENTION WHEN WE PLAY OVERCOOKED

Jason: WHAT THE FUCK, WHO MADE YOU THE HEAD CHEF

[igotanidea]

Batfam incorrect quotes

Jason : Sometimes bad things happen to good people....

Tim: Wait. Y/N is a good person.

Jason: yes, yes, she is.

[yourmomxx]

Tim, waking up from (yet another) coma: Oh hey, guys. What time is it?

Damian: It’s about 2am. Are you hungry?

Tim: Oh, cool. I’m up for some toast.

Dick (sobbing uncontrollably): Can you guys please stop acting like nothing happened?!

[lilylovelyxo]

Y/N walking into the room with a towel: “I’m going to take a shower, do you care to join me?”

Jason setting down his book: “You know, honey, there’s a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say no to that question I want you to use it on me.”

[yu-huuuu]

Damian: why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Y/N: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Bruce: Actually, three of us saw it, Y/N. How do you explain that?

Y/N: *points at Tim* Sleep deprivation. *points at Bruce* Paranoia. *points at Harley Quinn* Delusional personality disorder. *points at Damian* you're okey, hon.

[sis-does-simp]

Camping

Y/N: Damn, I broke my nail.

Dick: Aw, was it putting up your tent?

Jason: *nervously stands in front of a tree with human scratch marks on it*

Y/N: *keeps their eyes to the floor*

Dick: *increasingly uncomfortable* Was it putting up your tent y/n !??!??

[writers-block246]

Jason: wow, you said you want me to die a second time??

Y/N: I literally said that I can’t “crush you with my thighs” because I have to go to work.

Jason: yeah? That’s what I said.