#incorrect arsenal

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Roy: I don't know who needs to hear this, but readin book after book to escape reality is not a-

Jason: You watch your fuckin mouth.

[incorrect-dc-qoutes]

Jason: We need a plan to beat them. Roy: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Jason: Roy: Judge me all you want, I get results.

[lilylovelyxo]

Y/N dreamily staring at Jason’s thighs: “Wow, it’s like a bunch of snakes in a leather arm chair…”

Roy equally as entranced: “I know!”

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette.

Dick: But Jason, we don't smoke.

Jason: Cut the crap, Dick. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Jason, pointing at Roy: One.

Jason, pointing at Kyle: Two.

Jason, pointing at Kory: Three.

Jason, pointing at Wally: Four.

Jason, pointing at Dick: Five.

Jason: Now, I am going to close my eyes and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers.

Roy: *puts a cigarette in Jason's hand*

Jason: Thank you. Light?

Everyone: *pulls out a lighter*

[outtamynoggin]

Roy: It's so unfair

Wally: What's unfair?

Roy: How so damn pretty Dick is!

Kori: *Positively smug* Of course he is beautiful. I tell him every day. Sometimes twice. Sometimes all night

Gar: *annoyed* It's so unfair! The guy could literally commit a crime and just smile his way out of it!

Wally: On that note, sometimes it's a good thing.

Roy: What?

Wally: One time, we got pulled over for speeding, and the cop let him go because he "looked trustworthy".

Gar: So?

Wally: I was driving.

[personfrommars10dccontent]

Roy: Dick, I have something to tell you

Dick: yeah? What is it man, you can tell me anything

Roy: I'm in love with your brother

Dick: which one??!???!??

Roy: which one do you think

Dick: no, nope, you're not allowed to date my little wing, keep your filthy little slut hands off Jaylad

Jason: *popping up out of nowhere* too late Dick, we've been dating for months

Dick: FUCK

[frownyalfred]

Roy: having the Bats as friends is so weird. I was crying and they just told me to “lock in”

Oliver:

Roy: and then I did

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Dick, with an arrow sticking out of his thigh: My ex still misses me- but his aim is getting better!

Roy: For the last time- I didn’t mean too!

[foolilazuli]

Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you

Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?

Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner

Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes

Lian, turns off phone: 🙂

[speedyarrows]

Roy, walking in with Lian and Jason close behind: “Sorry we’re late. We had to wait out a terrible tantrum.”

Dick: “That’s okay. ‘Terrible teens’, am I right?”

Jason: “Oh no… it was me. It was my tantrum… Anyways, I’m fine now.”

Lian: “You’re thinking of terrible twos, Uncle Dick.”

Roy: “You’re both wrong. This is terrible twenties.”

[headcanonthings]

Roy: Love, tell Lian about the birds and the bees. Jason, to Lian: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Roy: *Under his motorcycle fixin it* Can you hand me a 9mm?

Jason: *Opens bag and takes out a 9mm pistol, handin it to Roy*

Roy: *Takes it, lookin at the gun then back at Jason* I meant a ratchet.

[incorrect-dc-qoutes]

Kory: Well, Jason, is there anything you would like to say to Roy? Jason: How do I put this delicately? You’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you. Kory: How about we frame our statement with “When you do this, it makes me feel this”? Jason: When you live here, it makes me angry. Because you’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.

[chaoswiththeprettyspine]

I don't even know what this is.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Roy, let me ask you something. What was the first thing you did after the battle?

Roy: I called Ollie and Dinah to tell them I was okay.

Bruce: And what was the first thing Jason did?

Roy: He ate a banana.

[d3jha]

I feel like the bats have walked off Life threatening injuries like

Clark: batman ermm... he got a hole there

Bruce: And? *beating The belief he is God into an alien.*

Wally: NIGHTWING!

Dick:what

Wally WHAT? YOU JUST GOT SHOT

ROY: Did I just here your bones crack!?!

Jason:oh yah just my ribs

Roy:Jason why do I see a gunshot wound near where your rids are Broken

Kon:...

Tim:what?

Kon:how the fuck are you alive.

Tim: <who just fell of a cliff> Spite and pettiness

Jon:Damian... there is a knife in your back

Damian: it's not important