#better crowd better screen better sound better experience

[sparksflys]

I went to see the eras tour movie at the cinema for a second (and last) time 💙

[waywardsalt]

finally got around to putting together elden ring builds for the post-ph crew, and tested them out briefly, so here are the builds i came up with and all that! (absolutely a very long post, i had fun explaining a lot of my reasoning)

i'm not going to give them exact stats, just some vague idea of what they'd likely lean towards, and i can't say much to what equip load they have. when i tested these builds out i had 72 endurance. this uses exclusively base-game equipment since i don’t have the dlc and wanted to test these out for myself.

i also don’t use many spells or any incantations so the spell and incantation choices are mostly based on wiki descriptions and whether or not i felt it would fit the character.

some context is that this is with the idea that somehow these four get zapped into the lands between as tarnished, and this is the equipment i think they’d use, disregarding what is needed to access most of this stuff.

i also didn't change my tarnished's appearance for these, not that i think i could accurately replicate these four in elden ring's character creator, anyways, so you get to see my tarnished's face with all of these :)

Link:

His armor is: the highwayman hood, the blue cloth vest, exile gauntlets, and Carian knight greaves.

There's practically no green armor in this game, and what is there isn't really armor and isn’t exactly good protection. I wanted a bit of a balance between just cloth, but also some armor, as well as a headpiece somewhat like the usual hero's cap. The highwayman's hood works well enough, honestly, and I think it fits in well with the blue cloth vest; plus, I can see it being helpful in keeping dust and whatnot out of his eyes. Blue works well enough with Link nowadays, and I do think the blue cloth vest actually fits Link well enough- I doubt he'd want to wear something like a plate breastplate, so a vest like this is good.

The exile gauntlets I feel work well, they're simple and slim with some decent coverage, and the Carian knight graves not only look great with the blue cloth vest, but are also something that I believe fits Link, and the tall boots are likely decently practical in the same vein as the hood.

His weapons I chose are: The Carian knight's sword, with the pulley bow as a secondary weapon, and the Carian knight's shield in his offhand, with the academy glintstone staff as a secondary.

He obviously had to be the good standard sword-and-shield combo fighter, but I went ahead and gave him with Carian sword and shield partially because they look decently similar to what weapons he normally uses, but also because I enjoy the idea of him dabbling in magic along with typical damage types. The Carian sword does a good bit of magic damage along with standard, and the shield guards again both of those types, and the sword's unique ash of war (Carian Grandeur) is a good mix between swordfighting and magic, and actually really good to use in-game. I feel like they suit him well.

For his secondaries, I had to give him a bow, and I feel like the pulley bow is just right, especially with it's special feature of having increased range. I could see him being the one tasked with deactivating faraway traps and hunting the animals of the Lands Between for materials, and even just luring enemies with some normal arrows.

The academy glintstone staff is a solid staff (and the one I personally use), and him using magic is a good way to translate his usual versatility, though I only limited him to five spells, those being:

Loretta's greatbow, giving him what is technically now a second bow, and a pretty good spell for luring and doing some decent magic damage,

Magma shot, a good, simple fire damage spell,

Glintstone Icecrag, a good ice spell, especially for causing frostbite buildup,

Great glintstone shard, a very basic but reliable spell, and is good when cast a few times in succession,

and Thops' barrier, for deflecting magic attacks, and though I've heard it's a mediocre spell, I could see Link getting the timing down and getting some good usage out of it. I tried giving him a decent range of spells, which is a little bit easier said then done considering the actual spell variety and wanting to pick spell that I think suit Link, but I think this is a good lineup.

For talismans, assuming that all four of them have all four talisman slots open, Link gets the silver scarab, the graven-mass talisman, the erdtree's favor +2, and the companion jar.

The silver scarab, raising item discovery is... perfect for Link. It only feels right that he gets a talisman that makes him more likely to get items off enemies. It definitely works, too, while testing, I got way more items out of the gatefront ruins group than I'd ever seen before.

The graven-mass talisman boosts sorcery power, which is certainly perfect for boosting Link's versatility and magic power, simple and useful.

The erdtree’s favor +2 is just an all-around great talisman to use for the hp, mp, and stamina boost, and it feels perfect as something for Link to use, especially to increase his effectiveness and endurance in battle.

And then the companion jar, which goes hand-in-hand with him also being a pot user to further his versatility, and it’s very easy to see him doing the Jar-Bairn side quest. My choices here disregard how the items are obtained, but I could absolutely see Link going out of his way to interact with Jarburg.

Link’s standard fighter, with a balance between offense and defense and physical and magical damage with a slight leaning towards magical, and the main archer who aims to do more damage with archery, and uses pots when needed. He’s probably the one ‘leading the charge’ in that he’s suited for most situations, but isn’t necessarily the most effective in all-out combat- he is the most defensively oriented, however. He’s likely in the mid-to-light equip range, and likely mostly levels Strength and Intelligence to keep his damage up, and focuses a lot on keeping his Vigor up for a good chunk of health.

Linebeck:

His armor is: the black knife armor, the gauntlets, and bandit boots.

The black knife armor is the most important part of the set, not just for it being a nice blue, but because it has the unique effect of completely silencing your movement sounds- perfect for steal and getting in a good number of sneak attacks. It’s light, too, and so are the generally standard gauntlets and bandit boots, all put together for a general… blue rogue kind of look? It’s practicality and some looks and all put around the idea that he’s going to be sneaking around and panic-rolling out of the enemy’s way- so his defenses are a bit lacking in favor of mobility. I do think it’s a good look overall.

His weapons are: A bloody antspur rapier with the poison mist ash of war, the redbranch shortbow as a secondary weapon, and the frozen needle in the offhand.

For Linebeck's build, it was either daggers or rapiers, and the extra damage, range, and great designs for the rapier won out- and I think rapiers suit him well. This specific pair of rapiers are oriented around inflicting ailments, with the frozen needle inflicting frostbite, and the antspur rapier- specifically with the poison mist ash of war and blood upgrade- can inflict scarlet rot, bloodloss, and poison with poison mist active. With the blood upgrade, the scarlet rot buildup suffers, but with the speed of rapiers and just how effective scarlet rot can be, it's a decent trade-off for the ability to do four ailments at once. His role in the Radahn fight is to inflict scarlet rot and then run off to snipe him with the redbranch shortbow, which is a simple ranged option, and helps with further ailment inflicting with ailment arrows.

His damage would probably be pretty decent, especially considering inflicting frostbite and his equipped talismans, but he's mostly going to be heading in with everyone and sticking around until proccing an ailment, and then backing off, especially if poison, rot, or frostbite are inflicted. Plus I think dual rapiers look great and it's very easy to see Linebeck using rapiers.

For talismans, he gets the gold scarab, the assassin's crimson dagger, the dagger talisman, and the blessed dew talisman.

The gold scarab boost rune acquisition by 20%. It's perfect. It's one of my favorite talismans. I can't make an Elden Ring build for Linebeck and NOT give him the money-boosting talisman.

The assassin's crimson dagger restores hp upon successful critical hits, and paired with the silencing effect of the black knife armor, is perfect for someone who's more used to sneaking around and taking down enemies from behind- and it's good for topping off your hp.

The dagger talisman boosts critical damage- so then making sneak attacks all the more effective, and even making any critical hits he manages in fights do much more damage.

And then the blessed dew talisman gives you a very minuscule constant hp regen, about 2 hp per second iirc. It’s incredibly slow, but it's hp regen all the same, good for saving flask uses and good for some health regeneration if you back out of the main fight.

Linebeck's got a big focus on stealth and ailments, with just a bit of health regen tossed in with the talismans to help with survivability. his weapons and offhand options are mainly based around ailments, and besides the bow, he tends to use darts and other throwable items, and is often the one to pick off enemies at the edge of a group while the others go in to the handle the main group. With bosses, he's in the front lines until an ailment is inflicted, and will jump back in either if he's really needed, or if ailments are needed again. For longer bosses, or bosses immune to a few ailments, he would probably find moments to jump in and get a bunch of quick hits in, then back out and wait for another opening. Rapiers are pretty good for quick hits considering that I believe you actually get three attacks from a dual-rapier sprint attack. He’d likely have a focus on Dexterity and Arcane, with some Endurance mixed in for that good running and rolling stamina.

Damien:

His armor is; the sacred crown helm, exile armor, crucible gauntlets, and drake knight greaves.

Picking armor for Damien was a bit of a challenge since he’s still a bit of a work in progress and I usually picture him in generally casual clothes, but I knew I wanted to stick with some red clothing and put together a bit more of a practical sort of outfit. Plus this end result kind of helps me further figure out Damien’s actual design and outfit variations.

I knew I wanted to give him one of the simple footsoldier helmets, and the sacred crown helm won out with the additional detail of the little vine-looking wreath, plus the minor faith boost. It’s a nice little helmet and I think it suits him. The exile armor was considered due to the red cloth around the shoulders, and was properly decided on when I found that the helmet got rid of the cloth covering the bottom half of the face. So it’s a good solid chest piece.

The crucible gauntlets and drake knight greaves work both with color and giving him some more armored extremities, the crucible gauntlets are pretty good heavy armor gauntlets, if the crucible knights themselves are anything to go by, and the drake knight graves seem to have a good bit of practicality with the high boots and armor. It’s all meant to end up somewhere in the medium equip load area, for a balance between defense and speed, and the lighter helmet and chest piece were primarily to even out with the heavier weapons.

The weapons he gets are: the axe of Godrick, the highland axe as a secondary, and the clawmark seal.

The axe of Godrick is a pretty good greataxe with what selection there is, some good damage and a really good ash of war skill with a really good area of effect. It’s fantastic for crowd control when two-handed, and worked pretty well for me when I tested it out without having upgraded it. It’s all in all a great standard axe. The highland axe as a secondary is used partially as a faster one-hand option, and partially for the boost given by its war cry ash of war. The axe of Godrick is almost always what he’d use, but the highland axe is probably better for some specific situations. Damien was always going to end up using axes, and I think these two are pretty good and fitting.

In his other hand is the clawmark seal- scaling with faith and strength and so working well with him relying on strength, and boosting bestial incantations, of which he has one- and he mostly uses support incantations with some minor attack incantations- but he is primarily support, usually backing out of the fight to switch to casting due to usually two-handing the axe of Godrick. He gets six incantations, those being:

Heal, as a very standard heal, mostly just for himself,

Erdtree heal, a heal more intended for group healing,

Golden vow, a group offense and defense buff for a time,

Protection of the erdtree, for increased non-physical defense, which is likely useful for many bosses,

Bestial sling, which is a pretty basic but effective attack incantation, and boosted by the seal he uses, and is probably great in tandem with his axes to break an enemy's poise,

and then Dragonclaw as his final spell, a stronger and closer-up attack spell, likely for individual bosses that are lower on hp.

His offenses are standard and meant to be pretty decent for crowd control and poise-breaking, so his attack spells follow suite, while his support options are based around healing and some basic buffs. I personally do not use buffs or incantations when I play, so I do not know the nuances of a lot of this stuff, but Damien's got a good set of incantations to use.

Damien's set of talismans are the green turtle talisman, the mottled necklace +1, the axe talisman, and the bull-goat's talisman.

The green turtle talisman is a great talisman, simply increasing the speed of stamina regeneration, and it's a fantastic talisman. Very useful with the stamina drained by axe attacks and backing off to cast spells.

The mottled necklace boosts immunity, robustness, and focus, an across-the-board status boost, and I imagine it's useful for being up close with enemies and then staying alive to help with support- even if he doesn't have much in the way of ailment-based support.

The axe talisman is a damage booster, and considering his decent poise, charged attacks are pretty viable for him to be using.

The bull-goat's talisman is standard but very effective in practice (or maybe that's me being used to low poise), as it raises poise, therefore making it harder for you to flinch or be knocked out of an attack. Very helpful with a slower main weapon like the axe of Godrick.

Damien's standard all around, with pretty good damage and likely very helpful with crowd control, usually two-handing the axe for maximum damage and will back off when using incantations. He primarily uses incantations for support, and the offensive incantations are usually saved for bosses or rougher encounters- or sometimes just if he wants to switch things up for fun. He's likely going to focus on Strength and Faith, with some Mind thrown in for most casts.

Bellum:

His armor is: the altered tree sentinel armor, and the malformed dragon gauntlets and greaves.

Chosen partially for the color and because they're all heavy plate armor; meant to emulate a lot of the phantom designs, and for that yellow color, and I wasn't even aware that the malformed dragon gauntlets had a darker color until I was initially putting this together. Heavy armor fits with a desire to survive in battle, plus I think decent mobility in heavy armor suits Bellum; when I tested this out, I was firmly in medium equip load territory, plus it made for a good bit of poise to go with slower weapons. It wasn't too hard to pick out armor for him.

The weapons I felt suit him are: the blasphemous blade, the Marais executioner's sword, with the gravel stone seal as a secondary.

The blasphemous blade was practically necessary, a greatsword with the bonus effect of hp restoration on enemy death, plus the Taker's Flames skill, which also heals hp when it hits an enemy. This is was made me decide on greatswords over colossal weapons, trying to stick a bit with some ideas from the phantoms, plus the hp-leeching effects, plus it’s a pretty good weapon and I think it originally belonging to Rykard also fits pretty well; it’s Bellum’s main weapon unless he switches to the Marais Executioner’s sword for it’s specific skill. That sword is mostly chosen for it’s skill, as well as it’s origins- those bellum-bearing hunter’s are absolute nightmares to deal with- so the two swords are kind of also picked for a sort of intimidation effect. At least the wriggling flesh on the blasphemous blade does the job well enough if someone doesn’t know the origins (which don’t practically matter). He would likely switch to the executioner’s sword for some boss fights, and its skill can be highly damaging to lone enemies- the focus with these two is on heavy damage and hp regen.

The secondary left hand weapon he has is the gravel stone seal, which boost dragon incantations, and so he only uses offense incantations, with a lot of incantations that cover a wide area and some that inflict ailment buildup. Bellum gets five incantations, all attacks (and all maybe emulating the idea that he’s a monster forced to be human in the lands between lol);

Beast claw, a pretty standard but pretty effective ground-level attack,

Unendurable frenzy, a wide range, fiery madness-inflicting incantation that, while only inflicting madness on a select few enemies (and himself) is likely more than useful for crowds and large enemies,

Rotten breath, a dragon communion incantation that is about what it says on the tin, a dragon’s breath attack that inflicts scarlet rot,

Fortissax’s lightning spear, another dragon incantation that summons a pair of lightning spears, with the damage at it’s best up close,

and Aspects of the crucible: tail, a wide-range crucible incantation, and the most fitting of the crucible incantations, I feel.

He has no issue getting up close to bosses, since he can fall back on the honestly insane hp regen he’s afforded by both his main weapon and some of his talismans.

The talismans Bellum gets are; the taker’s cameo, the dragoncrest greatshield talisman, the pearldrake talisman +2, and the godskin swaddling cloth.

The taker’s token has the same passive effect as the blasphemous blade; hp restoration upon enemy death. The fun part is that the taker’s token and the blasphemous blade’s hp regen effects stack with each other.

The dragoncrest greatshield talisman reduces physical damage by 20%, and the pearldrake talisman +2 reduces non-physical damage by about 11%. Covering just about all defenses with these two talismans.

The godskin swaddling cloth allows for additional minor hp restoration upon landing a certain number of melee hits within a short timeframe. This could be harder with greatswords, but with dual greatswords and jumping right into the action, I don’t imagine it’s at all impossible for the talisman’s effect to never trigger. As always, it’s extra effective with a larger number of enemies.

Bellum’s the main damage-dealer with a focus on staying power and lots of hp regen, using the blasphemous blade for regular battles while switching to the executioner’s sword for bosses due to the more aggressive ash of war. His incantations are more often used for crowd control, but are absolutely effect for boss battles, especially when given time to charge them up. He’s all about staying power and straightforward damage-dealing, with some decent poise to back things up despite his checking piece being altered and his lack of a helmet, and all of his incantations are a bit more bestially-inclined. He'd probably focus on Vigor and Strength, with some Faith or Dexterity thrown in for damage-dealing.

Overall, the idea is that the four of them are in the lands between like this, working and running around together, probably fighting over what bosses to go after next and whether or not to head into the catacombs that one of them just spotted. I could see them taking the time to scour the lands between for every little trinket and discussing whether or not to bother with some character's quest. Not too different from actual post-ph stuff, but it's fun to put them in Elden Ring and think on what kinds of equipment to give them and what would suit them.

[incorrectbatfam]

It's movie night but they can't use the home cinema, what do they do?

[week 1]

Bruce: Thanks for letting us use your place for movie night while we fix that leak at home.

Dick: No problem. Besides, I have plenty of snacks and the director's cut of Dumbo.

Everyone: *gathers around*

Dick: *puts on the movie*

~ 10 minutes in ~

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

Tim: My crime alert's going off.

Harper: Mine too.

Duke: Must be big.

Bruce: Suit up and rendezvous in three.

Dick: *sighs and pauses the movie*

Dick: Can't get one night in this damn city.

———————

[week 2]

Tim: Steph, why are we at a karaoke lounge?

Steph: I know the owner's cousin's hairdresser's dog walker's sister's girlfriend and I convinced them to let us use the party room. Don't worry, it's just like a TV screen.

Steph: *puts on Pitch Perfect*

Steph: Ooh, I love this part.

Steph: *grabs a mic and starts singing*

Everyone:

Damian: *stuffs napkins in his ears*

———————

[week 3]

Jason: Since we decided on Pride and Prejudice, I thought I could play it at my safehouse.

Dick: Sweet, thanks!

Jason: *unlocks the door*

Dick: *tries to step in*

Jason: *stops him*

Jason: I said I could play it. I never said you could come in. I don't want your you-ness all over my new stuff.

Bruce: Jason, be reasonable.

Harper: Yeah, you got this junk off the side of the road.

Jason: My junk, my rules.

Tim: Then what are we supposed to do?

Jason: Fire escape's around the back. You'll get a decent glance.

~ 20 minutes later ~

Dick: *leans his head in to hear better*

Jason: My air, my rules.

Jason: *closes the window*

———————

[week 4]

Bruce: Cass, it's your turn. Got the movie?

Cass: *nods and plays Rambo on her computer*

Barbara: Uh, why isn't there any sound?

Cass: Volume button broke. Just read lips.

Jason: Kinda hard to do that with the brightness at zero. Did that stop working too?

Duke: Looks fine to me.

Jason: Shut up, Flashlight.

———————

[week 5]

Tim: I brought my entire Star Wars collection.

Bruce, dodging a space laser: Not the time.

Tim: Okay.

Bruce: *punches an alien robot*

Tim: How about now?

———————

[week 6]

Barbara: Sorry I got a cold, but at least we can still have movie night on Zoom. I torrented a copy of The Matrix.

Barbara: *shares her screen*

*movie plays*

Barbara: *leaves herself unmuted*

Barbara: *starts crinkling Sun Chips*

———————

[week 7]

Everyone: *crowd around Damian's phone watching My Neighbor Totoro*

Bette: Why is your phone so small?

Damian: I have tiny hands.

———————

[week 8]

Harper: Because we're watching Cars this week, I thought I could put together an all-immersive experience.

Bruce: BY LOCKING US IN A RUNAWAY SEMI-TRUCK?!?

———————

[week 9]

Duke: I called this company and since we're heroes, they're letting us use their electronic billboard for this week's movie at a huge discount. Kill Bill should be coming on right about...

*movie starts playing*

Jason: Not bad, Narrows.

*billboard switches to an ad*

———————

[week 10]

Carrie: Since Steamboat Willie is now public domain, I thought we could do something different tonight.

Carrie: *pulls out a flipbook*

———————

[week 11]

Everyone: *watching Love, Simon in a dark living room*

*lights flick on*

Apollo and Midnighter: *standing there in date night outfits*

Steph: Um, Cullen, who are these guys?

Cullen: *laughs nervously*

Cullen: Everyone, meet Apollo and Midnighter. They're kinda-sorta my gay uncles and we're kinda-sorta in their apartment and I kinda-sorta didn't expect them to come back early.

Midnighter: Remind me why we gave you a spare key?

———————

[week 12]

Kate: *sets up a projector and plays Glass Onion*

Bruce: Kate, this is a crime scene.

Kate: The fun part's already done, let Gordon do cleanup this time.

———————

[week 13]

Alfred: Back in my day, we did not rely on scrupulous use of technology. Which is why I propose watching a classic Sherlock Holmes tale on a classic instrument.

Alfred: *pulls out a zoetrope*

Steph: Anyone know what that is?

Dick: Not a clue.

———————

[week 14]

Luke: Nothing like a good ol' drive-in movie. Great idea, Helena.

Helena: I know, and the Godfather is perfect for this.

*Batmobile crashes through the screen*

Steph: Sorry we're late.

Duke: I'm still figuring out the PRINDL.

———————

[week 15]

*TV playing the Aristocats*

Bruce, trying to flirt: I like what you've done with the curtains.

Selina: Thanks, but it was Snowball's after-dinner surprise.

*TV blinks off*

Tim: Hey, what gives?

Selina: *takes a chewed-up cord out of a cat's mouth*

Selina, sighing: This is why I married rich.

———————

[week 16]

Luke: May I present the ultimate Snakes On A Plane drone show!

*phone rings*

Luke: Hello? ... Yes, this is he. ... Mhm. ... Yep. ... Okay.

Luke: Never mind, the FAA says I can't.

———————

[week 17]

Everyone: *watching Legally Blonde at Bette's place*

*dogs barking*

*sirens*

*loud music*

*car honk*

*neighbors shouting*

Bette: Sorry, we have thin walls.

Bruce, shrugging: Eh, still not as bad as HOA.

———————

[week 18]

Damian: Where is movie night this time, Father?

Barbara: My money's on another crime scene.

Bruce: Actually, I rented out the theater just for us and they're playing a special edition of The Mark of Zorro. Everyone got their snacks?

Duke: Popcorn, check.

Cass: Licorice, check.

Steph: M&Ms are obviously the right answer by the way.

Dick: I got a slushee.

Jason: I got the slushee machine.

Bruce: Alright then, take your seats. The movie's about to begin.

*movie plays*

*Rogues break in, make a mess, and leave*

Bruce:

Bruce:

Bruce: I miss my parents.

[dreamyzxn]

⋆⁺⋆ ⁺₊⋆ ☁︎Self-aware!CRK x Reader

they waited and waited for so long, where have you been now?

Time flew by, days turned weeks and weeks turned into months and that app you downloaded remained untouched. You almost forgot about it, but then a thought crept into your mind... why not give it a go and open the app for a little while? Who knows what kind of adventure awaits you in there!

soon then as you opened the app, a silly sugar gnome appeared in your screen as they greeted you, attempting to rouse you from your slumber. How adorable! However, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for neglecting the game for several months.

upon tapping the bubble chat to continue, you were woken up by the sugar gnome. Shortly then, a cookie by the name of Gingerbrave appeared on your screen, extending a warm welcome back greeting and surprising you with various missions and new mails.

The experience of being pleasantly surprised by the cookie's missions and warm welcome evokes a sense of happiness within you. This feeling has reignited your interest in playing the game, reminiscent of the initial excitement you felt upon downloading it. then a,

"Whoah, welcome back!"

exclaimed Gingerbrave with a huge grin on his face. He was positively beaming as he directed his attention towards the exciting quest called 'We Missed You!' story, as you completed the quest, you then let out a small chuckle and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, a surprise gift appeared, accompanied by a warm welcome from Wizard Cookie aswell.

As you delved deeper into the game, a sudden light giggles escaped your lips again, instantly lifting your spirits. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and you couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, playing this game more often could be the key to unlocking your happiness again....

as you continued playing the gameplay, it appears that you have failed to take notice or acknowledge the fact that your cookies are watching you with great delight, sporting broad smiles on their faces. They are astounded by your return after all these days and find it to be a most delightful occurrence. The cookies are now eager to capture your attention and bask in your presence.

mainly, Pure Vanilla Cookie is thrilled to see you again! With a huge smile on his face, he knows that you, a human outside of their own world, have returned. Despite being just a silly pixelated character, he is determined to make a difference and show you his worth. He won't give up until he proves himself to be a valuable part of your experience and same aswell for other cookies.

"I-I can't believe it! is it really Baker?!"

"they're back! oh thank earthbread!"

"Our Baker has returned! they have returned!!"

the air was electric with the sound of many voices, all talking with an excitement that was palpable. The crowd had gathered to welcome back their dearest baker, and they were positively bursting with joy. It was clear that they would do anything to spend their lives with this beloved baker, who had captured their hearts.

"Please remain calm, everyone." Pure Vanilla exclaimed, urging everyone to hush up and lend an ear. he patiently waited for their undivided attention, ready to address the situation at hand. Finally, the cookies heeded the king's call and directed their focus towards him. with unwavering obedience, they followed his commands and maintained a hushed silence.

"Now that our dear baker has finally returned, we must celebrate and welcome them!" with a cheerful and enthusiastic tone, he conveyed his message to the audience, announcing the return of their baker and urging them to make preparations to warmly welcome them back.

the roar of the crowd echoed through the stadium as they erupted in a thunderous cheer, their voices rising in unison to create a symphony of excitement and energy. It was a moment of pure joy, as the crowd continued to cheer, it was clear that this was a moment that made the cookies feel so much alive more than before!

The cookies are eagerly planning to celebrate their beloved baker's return, spending quality time with them, and most importantly, doing everything in their power to bring you back into their world.

You were completely immersed in the game for a solid hour, but as fatigue started to set in, you knew it was time to take a break. With a sigh of satisfaction, you exited the app and gently placed your phone on the table. as you stood up, you stretched your limbs and made your way towards the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

now that you've just returned from a quick snack break, plopped down on your comfy couch, and grabbed your phone. But as you excitedly opened the gameplay, something strange began to happen. glitches started popping up on your screen, causing you to freak out a bit, you managed to keep your cool and reassure yourself that it was just a pesky bug... right?

"That's odd. It's probably just a minor glitch," you reassured yourself as you clicked the start button. Suddenly, your phone screen was illuminated with a blinding white light, but you remained calm for a second. This now freaked you out alot as you began to wonder if this is the end of your phone.

just as you were about to let out a scream, you suddenly found yourself sucked into the depths of your phone, and everything around you went pitch black.

...

As you slowly emerged from your slumber, you attempted to pry open your eyelids, your vision was a bit blurry and couldnt see who was trying to wake you up but all you could think was... a figure of familiar cookie, as you sat up and rubbed your noggin with a slight groan, "what the?..." you couldn't help but wonder if you were still dreaming.

"—ke up... Rise and Shine my dear—!"

The words echoed through your mind, jolting you awake. As you shook off the grogginess, causing a slight disorientation as your sight gradually sharpened. cookie...? wait... Pure Vanilla?!

you can't believe your eyes as you stare at the cookie in front of you. Did it magically appear out of nowhere? Is this some kind of illusion? a prank?! this must be a dream! right?! You blink, hoping to snap out of it. Pure Vanilla extended his hand, ready to help you up. But as you looked at him, your mind was still reeling and you hesitated to take his hand. You tried to figure out what's happening and your heart was racing.

The cookie patiently awaited your gesture to take his hand, as he sought to establish a sense of trust with you. Eventually, you reached out and grasped his hand, allowing him to assist you in rising to your feet.

as you rose to your feet, you couldn't help but take in your surroundings with a sense of bewilderment. everything feels so weird! the sky is normal... you then return your gaze back towards the cookie which appeared to be grinning radiantly.

"a-are you real?" You stammered, your finger trembling as you pointed towards him in disbelief. "t-this has to be some kind of joke... right?" You whispered the final words, feeling as you were about to lose your mind but then Pure Vanilla emitted a slight chuckle and stated, "Oh my dear, don't be silly, this is real indeed and this is no joke. " The cookie spoke in a gentle tone as he patted your head.

what?!... real??... theres no way you're here... could it be possible you're stuck in the game..!? how! just how!?

i literally have this draft saved.💀🏳️

anyways, hope u enjoy ig, bad ahh grammar LMAO

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Trick and A Treat

Warnings: allusions to non con/dubcon, bullying, and other possible dark elements. Proceed with caution.

Note: Here is another wish!

Please leave some feedback so I know you want me to do more of the wishes I got. Otherwise, I find it hard to keep my motivation.

Wish Corrupted: I wish Rafe Cameron would crash my Halloween party.

“I think we got everything,” you haul up the reusable grocery bag on your shoulder. 

“It’s going to be awesome,” Claire smiles back at you, “lowkey.”

“Did you hear back from Janie yet? I got the special oat milk she wanted.”

“Um, not yet. She wasn’t sure if she was chilling with us or–

“Huh, yeah, I mean, no worries,” you shrug it off. “Not all of us are cool enough to go to the shore.”

“Who wants to?” Claire wrinkles her nose, “just a bunch of drunk idiots with nothing better to do.”

“Isn’t that what college is?” You chuckle.

She hums in agreement. Neither of you have been a part of the popular crowd. You barely qualify for kook status and in your experience, Pogues are a lot nicer. It’s like walking a tightrope between them; not rich enough to skip college, and not poor enough to hang at the banks.

“I swear I saw one of my professors at the frat,” you lower your voice and giggle, “do you think they ever grow out of it?”

“Not if they can help it,” she rolls her eyes.

You chuckle and carry on. The weight of your snacks is heavier by the step. You should’ve just taken your mother’s Volvo but the walk isn’t that long and you hate to waste the gas. As you come up the incline of your street, you hear a motor rev, followed by a whistle.

“Hey, kitty, kitty,” a voice hollers and as you look back and egg cracks across your face. The shatter is painful as the shell breaks and the yolks leaks down your cheek and chin. 

“Look at that wet pussy!” Another voice calls as the truck chortles and veers off. You sputter and swipe the egg from your face, holding back a sob. You cradle your cheek at the tingling there. Ow.

“Fucking jackasses!” Claire cries out, “god! Go back to high school!” She hollers through cupped hands. She turns back to you and gasps, “oh my god, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” you sniff, “I’m fine. Just egg, right?”

“I can’t believe that,” she sneers as she pulls down her sleeve and wipes your face with it, “talk about never growing up.”

“Really, it’s okay,” you adjust the bag on your shoulder and reach to take off the cat ears you picked up from the grocery store as a joke. “I’m okay.”

“It’s not okay,” she grabs the headband from you, “don’t let them ruin the fun.”

She puts them back on your head and glares up the street. She huffs and shakes her head as she grabs your hands and hurries you along. You seal your lips and blink through the swell, you’re not going to cry. High school is over, you’re an adult.

🐈‍⬛

Janie doesn’t turn up but Adelyn does. The three of you have a quaint Halloween planned. Hot drinks and horror movies, who could ask for more?

You make a mess of the kitchen with whipped cream and sprinkles before you crowd onto the couch under a shared blanket in the dark. The titles for the first Halloween play as the music sets a frightening ambience. You sip from your stacked apple cider as Claire licks cream from her fingers as it rips from the brim of her cocoa.

Adelyn turns to lean against the armrest and stretches her legs over Claire’s lap. You sink back into the cushy couch, transfixed by the classic film. You haven’t seen it in years so it’s like watching it all over again. The eerie soundtracks and jarring noises put you on edge and you sit up, leaning in as you expect Michael to pop out at any moment.

You hear a thump and look around. You can’t see much, the curtains are drawn and the screen doesn’t offer much illumination. It’s just the movie. That surround sound always confuses you. Besides, Claire and Adelyn aren’t bothered.

You lean forward and put down your sticky cup. The others are pretty much done too. You cross your arms and nestle into the side of the couch. The music turns frantic as Michael closes in on his next victim. You hold your breath…

“Boo!” The voice is right behind you.

Claire screams and throws her hands up. You look over as a shadow bends over her, grabbing her by the neck and dragging her over the back. What the fuck–

Your hair is clamped in someone’s hand as you’re wrenched against the side of the couch. You shriek as the speaker volume amps up, muffling out the real life terror. Adelyn whimpers as she hits the floor in front of the couch and tries to scramble away.

“Hey Claire Bear,” you recognise the voice as the screen glares off Topper’s features, “happy halloween.”

“Let go!” You hiss and kick out as your feet hit the floor, “get off–”

“Kitty, kitty,” Rafe’s snarls in your ear as his breath grazes against your skin, “I’ve been dying to get my hands on you.”

You can’t believe what’s happening. Your personal tormentor has you locked in his grip. Your face stings with the memory of the shattered egg, the cool drizzle of yolk down your cheek. You shiver and grasp blindly at his hands.

“What are you– why are you doing this?” You gulp out.

Adelyn is dragged under Kelce as he straddles her, groping her as the screen flickers over them. Rafe’s other arm hooks around your waist and he pulls you with him as he backs away. You flaily wildly, head stuck as he keeps his hand tight around your hair.

“Trick or treat,” he growls.

Claire screams and you hear a clatter. You don’t understand. Rafe Cameron hates your guts. He pushed your books on the floor, he shoved you in lockers, he spit on your graduation robes. He’s a monster but not the one you expected that night.

“I got both, don’t worry,” he rasps as he hurls you against a wall.

“Please,” you slide down to your knee, paralysed by the impact, “please, I didn’t do anything–”

“That doesn’t matter,” his shadow looms over you, “cause I’m about to do a whole lot of something.”

He bends over you as you shield yourself with an arm. He pushes it aside and frames your jaw, pulling your head up. He leans in as the surround sound bursts with noise, the metallic shink of stabbing and horrid screams.

“Let’s play a game, kitty,” he runs his finger along your chin, “hide and seek…” he draws his hand away, “I’ll count to ten and you can hide. Then I’ll come find you��”

“Please,” you sniffle.

“One,” he stands over you, “two…”

You put one foot down, shaking as you fight to get the other under you.

“Three,” you stand and stagger around blindly in the dark, “four,” you feel your way into the next room, “five…” you hit a table, sending a vase to the floor, “six…,” you get to the bottom of the stairs, “seven…” you hesitate and turn to face the front door. “Eight…” you stumble towards your escape, “nine…” hand on the knob, “ten.”

The door opens and you dash out. Three steps before you yanked back. You whimper as the door slams shut just as quickly, kicked by your accoster.

Rafe’s arm hooks around your neck and he pulls you back. He chuckles as he hauls you with him, dragging you to the stairs, your feet bouncing off each step as he ascends a step at a time.

“Not fast enough, kitty,” he taunts, “I choose…” his other hand crawls down your stomach and cups your cunt as he reaches the landing “treat.”

[f1letters]

sweet nothing | sv5

"all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing"

summary: after years of battling infertility, seb was still by her side. he didn't need anything else but her... but maybe their lives were about to get a little more crowded

warning: a little bit sad at times but overall fluff, mentions of endometriosis, infertility, inability to conceive, fertility treatments and pregnancy, mentions of a person attacking the reader for not continuing with treatments to have children, mentions of anxiety and insecurity

pairing: sebastian vettel x reader

word count: 3.0k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past. I would also like to point out that I am not a doctor nor do I have professional knowledge on the subject, having relied on personal experience and the additional research I did on the subject. I tried my best not to be too focused on the medicinal terms so I wouldn't give the wrong information.

german words used: liebling = darling; engel = angel; schatz = sweetheart

no better week to post this story than the week we say goodbye to Seb. nobody talk to me during race weekend, because I'll be busy crying my heart out. 😭 it's so sad to see Seb leave but above all, I hope he is the happiest person in the world with his family and that he knows that he is forever a legend of this sport. danke Seb, you will forever be my number 1 💘

masterlist

I spy with my little tired eye

Tiny as a firefly

A pebble that we picked up last July

Down deep inside your pocket

We almost forgot it

Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

"You are 18 weeks pregnant, Mrs Vettel." The obstetrician told her.

"That's not possible," Y/N replied, not being able to believe the words she was hearing. The only sound she could hear at that moment was her own heart pounding loudly in her ears like heavy rain hitting the window glass during a storm. "Please check again. There must be an error in the ultrasound machine, it has to be."

The doctor turned the screen so the woman could see the image displayed. Y/N found herself completely paralyzed by the shock it caused her. It can't be, she still didn't believe it.

But it is true, she understood that when she read her information at the top of the monitor. It was there: 'Y/N Vettel', along with her age, her gender and the correct date of that miraculous day.

"Are you sure you didn't notice any symptoms?" The professional asked, curious. "Your pregnancy is already a little over four months. You've certainly felt something, or noticed something different in your body."

The truth is that she had noticed a thousand differences in herself over the last few years, but, convinced by the doctors that she was not capable of having a baby and already resigned that it was not a part of her plans, she chose to ignore them until she had no choice but to come to the doctor to confirm.

It all started when her period missed its usual date, something she quickly attributed to the stress, the work, and the constant travels she had to make to support her husband around the world.

This was followed by the sudden tiredness and fatigue she felt and her abrupt mood swings (immediately noticed by Sebastian, who was the one suffering the most because of them). But once again, work and travel became the explanations constantly given.

When she was in Japan about two months prior, that's when nausea started but, I mean, it was Japan and the woman didn't deprive herself at all from eating and enjoying all the exotic foods of that magical country, which logically had caused some sort of food poisoning, she thought.

All of these alterations had plausible answers, and none of them sounded out of the ordinary until Y/N started noticing a small bump in her stomach, though still nothing major.

At first, she wondered if it was due to her sloppiness in her exercise routine. But when she found herself looking at her reflection in the mirror and starting to create expectations about a hypothetical baby, the driver's wife decided that the best thing would be to step back from dreamland and go to the doctor. 

Not because she expected to hear that her biggest dream had finally come true, but rather to keep her from imagining a life that would never be possible, or so she thought.

When looking at her baby for the first time, tears began to form in her eyes. He was so small, tiny as a firefly, but so real. His little feet, his delicate hands, his loving face. She couldn't believe that love of such a dimension could instantly consume her, warm her soul, and fill her with hope and dreams long forgotten.

"It's a boy, isn't it?" she asked, sure the answer would be yes. Inexplicably perhaps, as soon as she looked at him, all she could see was Sebastian.

Oh my god, how could I, she panicked. Y/N was so confident that this trip to the doctor would be nothing and now all she could think about was how she had taken away her husband's experience of being able to find out about the pregnancy on her side.

"Yes, it's a little boy." The obstetrics confirmed after a few minutes, smiling at the pregnant woman lying on the bed. "How did you know?"

"I don't know, it was just a feeling." Y/N replied. "And... And is everything alright with him?"

"Don't worry, my dear." The doctor placed her hand over the other woman's. "He is perfect and seems to be completely out of harm's way. Now you just have to take care of yourselves and enjoy the process."

They said the end is comin'

Everyone’s up to somethin'

I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they’re push and shovin'

You're in the kitchen hummin'

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'

After tucking two copies of the ultrasound carefully into the bottom of her suitcase, the woman left the clinic on a mission: running home to her lover's sweet nothings.

A few meters ahead, she managed to signal for a taxi to stop and thus began her journey home. The happiness she felt radiated everywhere as she leaned the top of her head against the car window and recalled all the stormy moments that had brought her here, to the happiest day of her life.

"Seb, I can't see. You do it." The young woman told her husband, covering her eyes, afraid to know the test result in front of them.

"Okay, liebling. Relax." He said, placing his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to control his wife's stress. "Regardless of the outcome, we'll deal with it, together." He placed a soft kiss on the top of her hair.

They had been trying to have a baby for a few months now, without success, and she especially was starting to feel the pressure. Seb, the more peaceful and patient of the two, did what he could to reassure her that they would be okay, come what may, but Y/N was starting to think something was wrong with her.

The driver took the white stick and turned it over, immediately noticing the two pink stripes. "Engel..." His voice whispered, barely audible. "You- We- We are having a baby."

In disbelief, she took his hand to confirm it with her own eyes. "Oh my god, we made it. We're having a baby." The two embraced and the world around them disappeared as the newlyweds wept with happiness.

The couple immediately called their parents and close family, excited to share the good news with everyone. Everyone knew how much this child was wanted and how much they tried to make it a reality.

They were so happy for a few days.

Two days later, the two went to the clinic to confirm that all was well with their future son or daughter. The process was very normal at first. They filled out the proper paperwork and answered the typical necessary questions. She then lay in bed while the doctor put the gel on her stomach and pressed the ultrasound probe into her belly, expecting to see their baby on the monitor.

They were fairly calm, until the obstetrician left the room without warning, returning minutes later with an older man, clearly a more experienced doctor, to help with the consultation.

Y/N and Seb looked at each other, both fearing the worst. But neither of them expected the words the doctor said to them as they all sat around his secretary.

"I'm afraid the positive test Mrs Vettel took a few days ago was a false positive." The man revealed.

On the way home

I wrote a poem

You say, "What a mind"

This happens all the time

Ooh, ooh

On her way home, the anticipation of telling her husband about their miracle grew as Y/N approached her destination.

As she got out of the taxi after paying the nice gentleman who drove her, the woman stopped to look around the neighbourhood. God, how perfect it was to raise a child there, she thought, as soon as her eyes fell on the image of a father and his little son playing football.

She could picture Seb and their baby boy a few years from then right there, kicking the ball around, and that would more than compensate for all the hardships they'd been through.

Since the day she was confronted with her endometriosis and for the next three years, Sebastian and his wife spent days on end with doctors and specialists, testing natural methods and different medications, and reading books on the subject.

A thousand different diagnoses, a thousand treatment options, and a thousand advice guides from people who had gone through the same thing.

All this led to discouragement and exhaustion for both of them.

"Sebastian, I don't think this will work..." She admitted, afraid of upsetting him. "We've tried everything."

"Liebling..." The driver called out to her, pain notable in his voice. "If it doesn't work out, we can always build our family in another way. We have fostering, surrogacy, adoption..."

"I'm tired of this, Seb." She confessed, for the first time, exhausted from the whole process and with tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I'm tired of trying."

'Cause they said the end is comin'

Everyone's up to somethin’

I find myself runnin’ home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they're push and shovin’

You're in the kitchen hummin'

All that you ever wanted from me was nothin'

Y/N put her key in the lock and turned it, opening the door to the cosy blue house where they lived.

As soon as she entered her home, the young woman immediately smelled the magnificent scent of her favourite dish in the air, following it to the kitchen.

And there he was.

In the kitchen humming, swaying his hips gently to the music that played softly beside him as he prepared dinner.

She couldn't pass up that moment to stop and appreciate the love of her life.

Although he was a star of the Formula 1 world, had four world championships under his belt and was an idol to thousands of people around the world, Sebastian was his best version like this: at home, with his small acts of love, so simple and humble.

Without realizing it, Y/N let out a sob, just as she started to cry. She wept with joy, with gratitude, with love. He was without a doubt her best friend and she couldn't have chosen anyone better to be by her side than the German.

"Engel, what's the matter?" Seb asked, turning quickly to her and approaching her, as soon as he heard her cry. "What happened? Is something wrong?"

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors

And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"

To you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it

"What do you mean you're going to stop treatments?" Y/N's mother questioned, with a scorned face. "You should be doing more, not giving up, for God's sake."

In fact, the relationship between Y/N and her mother had never been easy or healthy, but still, it hurt her to hear such judgment coming from someone who was supposed to love and support her unconditionally.

"Mum, that was our decision. It doesn't matter what you think is right or what you think is best." Y/N declared, trying to keep herself calm.

"That's what you say now." The older lady spoke up, her muscles tense with anger and not caring in the least about her daughter's feelings. "Not only are you depriving me of having grandchildren, but you are also preventing your own husband from having his own children. By choice. It won't take long to find someone else to give them to him. You'll see."

 It won't take long to find someone else to give them to him.

You'll see.

You'll see.

You'll see.

Those terrible words were chanting in the poor girl's head, like a scratched record stuck in the same song.

It was safe to say that that conversation between mother and daughter had more consequences than expected from a simple breakfast. Y/N's mood was ruined for the rest of her day.

After returning home to her husband, the woman occasionally excused herself to the bathroom during the day in an attempt to hide the tears that threatened to fall.

However, Seb knew her better than the back of his hand. As soon as he looked at her walking through the door, he knew something was wrong, but he tried to give her space so she felt comfortable opening up to him about what was going on.

When the driver realized that he had no other option but to intervene, he entered the bathroom without warning, coming face to face with the image of his wife sitting on the toilet, crying as she hid in between her hands.

"Schatz, please talk to me." Seb pleaded, running his hand carefully over her hair as he lowered himself to her level.

"You're going to leave me, that's what's wrong." She confessed, letting her voice rise in volume. "All because I'm a complete failure as a woman and as a wife. I've tried, I've tried everything. But I can't give you the family you want, or the children you deserve."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, more confused than ever by his wife's sudden insecurity.

"You deserve so much better than me, Seb..." Y/N looked right into his eyes, trying to apologize for something she had no control over. "To you I can admit that I'm just too soft for all this. I can't live with the guilt of ruining your dreams anymore."

"Liebling, stop. Look at me." He took her hands and placed them on top of his own cheeks, making her maintain eye contact between them. "You are more than enough. I would give up everything for you. I don't need children, championships, money or fame." He continued, leaning his head against her thighs.

"All that I ever wanted from you was nothing. You are literally the only thing I need in this world to be happy."

They said the end is comin'

Everyone's up to somethin'

I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they're push and shovin'

You're in the kitchen hummin'

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'

Y/N grabbed the collar of the army green shirt her husband was wearing and pulled him to her, letting her lips cover his.

She poured all of her feelings into that kiss, quickly reciprocated with the same intensity by Seb as soon as he got over the shock of her unexpected movement.

Her tears continued to stream down her face, and although the German could taste them in his mouth, he knew that, no matter what was going on with Y/N, that demonstration of love between them was exactly what she needed at that time.

As soon as their now swollen lips parted ways, Sebastian broke the silence. "As much as I love every time you kiss me like that, I'm getting worried, engel. Did something happen? Where were you?"

"Oh sweetheart, something happened, yes, and you'll never believe what I have to tell you." Her smile appeared on her face again, so bright and cheerful, that her partner felt the corners of his mouth mirror the movement of her lips.

They said the end is comin'

Everyone's up to somethin'

I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they're push and shovin'

You're in the kitchen hummin'

"I'm honestly so lost, schatz." The man laughed, shaking his head. "But I can assume by your face that it's a good thing, I think?"

She laughed along with him, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek as she turned to her purse. Her hand reached for the rectangular image hidden at the bottom of the bag.

Seb held out his hand, expecting her to put the mysterious object on top of it.

His eyes were deceiving him. It can't be, his thoughts racing.

"Are- Are you- Is this yours?" He stuttered nervously.

Y/N nodded her head and wrapped the blond man around the waist. "We're going to have a baby, my love. It finally happened."

"But you- We- The treatments stopped-" He couldn't even form a complete sentence, which made his partner giggle like a little kid.

"Looks like he was just waiting for the right moment to show up." She leaned her cheek against her best friend's chest as he placed his chin on the top of her head.

"He? Is it a boy?" His voice faltered for a moment, unable to contain his emotion.

"Oops, surprise?" He felt her chest rise and fall against his as Y/N chuckled softly.

"I couldn't be happier, liebling." Sebastian looked at her, full on crying, with his hands over his wife's cheeks. "Just having you by my side makes me the happiest man in the world."

"I can't wait to meet our baby. I bet he's going to be your twin." She laughed, returning to her soulmate's warm embrace. "Thank you, Seb."

"Thanks for what?"

"Thank you for wanting nothing from me except for me."

"I love you more than anything, you and our little one." He placed his hand on her stomach for the first time, feeling the small bump, much to his shock.

"And I love you, Vettel." She replied, feeling a single tear run down her face.

"Michael won't believe me when I tell him this."

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'

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(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[marlynnofmany]

Stars and the Slapping Thereof

If the last spaceport had been a flat parking lot kind of place, this one reminded me of a hollow skyscraper made for birds. I don’t know how the whole thing stayed up, honestly; the walls were more open air than anything else. Spaceships parked at every level. Elevators and gravity tubes zipped around vertically, while moving sidewalks spun in opposite directions.

From where our ship sat, I had a fine view of a mixed-species group in teal uniforms all trying to crowd onto the inner sidewalk ring at the same time. They moved off to the right with only minor awkwardness. Behind the ship, I heard the unmistakable sound of a human falling over and swearing about it, most likely after stepping on the other ring accidentally.

Not that I’ve ever done that, mind you. Nooooo, not a bit of personal experience with undignified pratfalls.

“Is that— No, that isn’t them,” Paint said, paying attention to something completely different. “I hope there will still be a spot near us when they get here.” She rubbed her knuckles together in agitation, orange scales clicking.

Zhee flicked an antenna. “Kamm is always punctual,” he said. “It will be fine.”

I leaned out of the ship’s shadow to count the empty spots. “We can always go stand in one to reserve it for her.” I reconsidered. “Right? Or do the pilots land too quickly here?”

Zhee was saying something disparaging about the general population’s safety awareness when a hoverchair separated from the crowd and whirred up to us. The driver was a pale human with glittery star crystals in his dark hair, thin legs that clearly didn’t get much use, and bare feet. The toenail polish was even more galaxy-patterned than his hair. Stylish. He called out as soon as he was within polite speaking range.

“Is this the Unflattenable?” he asked, pointing at our ship.

I looked up and back. “Oh! No, but it’ll be here soon. We’re waiting for it too.”

“Ah,” he said. “Sorry. Your ship looks a lot like it.”

Zhee didn’t move, looking in both directions with his big bug eyes. “Same manufacturers,” he said.

Paint was more enthusiastic. “We haven’t seen them in forever!” she told the man. “They’re going to help us deliver a bunch of stuff in one trip.”

The man nodded. “They’re bringing cargo for me. I hoped they’d be here by now.”

“Should be soon,” I said, peering around at the many directions a ship could approach from. No sign of another lemon-looking craft with solar sails.

He nodded again. Everyone was awkwardly silent for a moment. A distant ship landed with a thump of faulty thrusters. Pedestrians on both sidewalks held loud conversations as they slid past.

“So what’s your ship called?” the man asked.

Zhee straightened up. “This is the good ship—”

Paint beat him to it. “Slap the Stars! Isn’t that a great name?”

The man burst into laughter, then apologized at the angry tilt to Zhee’s antennae. “Sorry. I love it. I’m not much of a spacer, and I keep being surprised by some of the names that ships have around here.”

“That is a perfectly normal name,” Zhee told him with an abrupt motion of one pincher. “Strongarm manufacturers. It is human ships that have the truly absurd titles.”

I grinned at him. “You’re still not over the droid jousting ship Hold My Beer, are you?”

Zhee’s tone was extremely dry. “I will never be over that.”

“I saw some great ones earlier!” Paint said, unfolding a screen and connecting to the port’s public information hub. “Let’s see, there’s the Glorious.”

“A fine Mesmer name,” Zhee put in.

“The Deep Thrum; I like that. Might be Frillian? Oh, and there’s the human warship Funwrecker.”

I laughed. “Yup, definitely human.”

“And the Better Than You.”

“That could really be either human or Mesmer,” I said with a look at Zhee.

Zhee flexed his pinchers, looking haughty. “It all depends on whether it is true.”

Paint kept reading. “What about the Solar Flare? That could be anybody.”

“Heatseeker,” Zhee said. “Solar flares are hot.”

Paint, a Heatseeker herself, scoffed quietly. “Not everything is about heat.”

“Don’t most Heatseeker ships have food names?” I asked with a glance at the other human, who was following all this with open curiosity. “Pretty sure Captain Sunlight has family with a ship called the Worm Jerky.”

“I guess they do,” Paint said thoughtfully. “It’s a good luck thing. I didn’t realize it was that common.” She looked back at the screen. “Oh, and that might explain this other ship called the Raw Flesh.”

The human spoke up at that. “The what?”

I held up both hands. “It’s got to be a translation issue. A food thing. Some specific uncooked dish. Like sushi?”

The human just shook his head and made a face like he’d tasted something unpleasant.

“There’s also the Conqueror of the Next Ocean,” Paint offered. “That one’s probably Strongarm.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” I said. “They’re so proud of crawling out of their first ocean.”

“Strongarms are the ones with tentacles, right?” the human asked.

“Right,” I told him. “They look kind of like an octopus or a squid.”

“You said your ship was designed by Strongarms? What was it called again?”

“Slap the Stars,” I said. “Strongarms do slap a number of things with those tentacles. It’s a fun bit of sass in a ship name.”

“It’s not sass,” Zhee said scornfully. “It’s an intent to master all things, whether the things want to be mastered or not. Very admirable confidence.”

Paint looked up in distress. “I thought it was a game!” she said. “Something with pebbles on a table, right? Isn’t that a thing?”

The door to our ship opened to admit the scaly yellow form of Captain Sunlight. I turned to her for answers. “Hello, Captain! Can you tell us what the name of our ship actually means?”

Unflappable as ever, the good captain barely quirked a browridge as she walked over to join us. “Something about slapping stars, I imagine,” she said. “I always thought of it as a nod to the way damp tentacles can put out sparks of flame without getting burned.”

I threw my hands skyward in mock exasperation.

Captain Sunlight kept talking. “But then, I’m not a Strongarm. Let me ask one.” She spoke into her communicator, addressing the pilot on duty. “Wio, what is the Strongarm association with slapping stars?”

Faint and tinny, Wio’s voice said, “Pretty sure it’s something about gathering food. Spiky ones. I don’t know; I’m from a different planet.”

The human was chuckling quietly to himself at this point, while Zhee looked grumpy and Paint scrolled through more names for clues. Captain Sunlight glanced at me.

“Looks like we’ll just have to ask someone who was actually there when the ship was named,” she said, nodding toward the next dock. “Here she is.”

A bright yellow ship with folded solar sails came in to rest beside ours, remarkably stealthy when I wasn’t paying attention. The other human said a quick goodbye to us before scooting over to wait for the hatch to open.

As eager as we were to see the crew again after long last, we kept a professional distance while they did business. A pair of Heatseekers brought out the human’s crate — a fancy model with its own hover engine — and a Strongarm tactfully proffered the payment tablet.

Then Captain Kamm herself appeared, in all her deep green glory, with a polite greeting for the human and an enthusiastic wave of several tentacles toward us. “Hello over there! It’s been too long!”

“It has!” Captain Sunlight said, strolling over while the human handed back the tablet and hitched the crate to the back of his chair. I followed, with Zhee and Paint right behind. Captain Sunlight continued. “We’ve got a burning question for you. What was the original meaning behind our ship name? We seem to have come up with several. I’d ask Pockap, but…”

“But he’s far away, and also an idiot,” Captain Kamm finished, speaking about her cousin with complete honesty. He’d only been in charge for the very beginning of my time on the ship, and “idiot” was generous.

“As you say,” Captain Sunlight agreed.

“Well, if I recall correctly, it was actually inspired by a human thing,” said Captain Kamm.

“What?” I blurted. In my peripheral vision, the other human paused before going on his way.

“That thing you do,” Captain Kamm said, waving a tentacle. “Slapping each other in camaraderie.”

“We what?” I repeated, sharing a baffled look with the other guy.

Captain Kamm waved the one tentacle again, then flopped two against each other, making a wet sound. “You know,” she said. “You slap hands. Very friendly. The idea was to bring that kind of cheerful energy to the stars.”

I held my hands apart, thinking of applause, then it hit me. “Oh! Do you mean a high five?” I turned and demonstrated; the other human matched it perfectly.

“Yes!” Captain Kamm said. “That! That’s what your ship is named for!”

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. Zhee made an opinionated hiss while Paint exclaimed that that was much better than the game explanation.

“Glad I could be a part of this,” said the human. “See you around! May you slap many stars.”

“The same to you!” I said, waving as he steered onto the walkway. “Hooray for solving a mystery that we didn’t realize needed solving.”

“Those are the best kind,” said Paint, and I had to agree.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

New Year's Day | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Happy New Year('s Eve)! I'm not sure if its NYE where you are or if the clock has already struck midnight. Regardless, have a great 2023! I am hanging out with my parents and I will be kissing no one at midnight. Look out 2023, I'm wild.

Warnings: mention of alcohol, mention of anxiety, idiots in love

"There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby

Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me, forevermore"

...

Bucky didn’t like parties. It wasn’t that he hated celebrations, nor was he a “fun crusher” as Tony often called him. He just didn’t like the crowds, the noise. Large social gatherings made him uncomfortable. And he had plenty reason to stay far away from any get-together of more than a handful of people. I

But this party- this was the exception. It was the New Year’s bash, the party of all parties. It was supposed to celebrate the end of the tumultuous twelve months you’d faced, and usher in a- hopefully better- year to come. 

Throngs of people planned to gather in a luxe penthouse in Manhattan and party until sunup. And while that wasn’t usually Bucky’s idea of a good time, he wanted this night to be special.

On more occasions than he could count, you sat out of Tony’s parties because of Bucky. You stayed home while everyone you knew- and many you didn’t- had the time of their lives. And while you never complained, Bucky feared you’d resent him. That you’d get tired of coddling him and his anxiety. 

Not that you’d ever feel that way about him. You stayed home from every party because you wanted to, not out of obligation. You wanted to be with Bucky. And if that meant foregoing a Stark party, you didn’t mind. Even if you went without Bucky, you knew you wouldn’t have any fun. You’d spend the entire night missing him, wishing he was there. Attending Tony’s parties wasn’t worth it unless Bucky was there, too.

With the NYE party looming over him, Bucky decided he needed to attend. He knew you wanted to go. Any time someone mentioned it, you perked up. It was subtle, but Bucky noticed. He knew you were itching to celebrate the new year and party till sunup with the rest of the team. And while just the thought of fireworks and large crowds was enough to make him sweat, he was determined to make it work.

Plus, he wanted to kiss you at midnight. He wanted to ring in the new year with your lips pressed to his. He wanted to stand on the balcony overlooking the city with you- just you- and tell you how he felt about you.

But asking you to be his date proved harder than he expected.

“I think we should go to the party,” he told you one day over lunch. “It sounds fun.” 

A blank stare stole the light from your eyes. You blinked once. Twice. “Okay, wait. I’m sorry- what? Did you just way you wanted to go to a party?” You laughed, “are you on drugs?”

Bucky rolled his eyes at you, “No, I’m not on drugs, doll.” He chucked his balled-up straw wrapper at you and made you squeal. “I wanna go- with you, I mean. I want us to celebrate the fact that we somehow made it through this fucking year alive.”

He wasn’t exaggerating. Between the Flag Smashers, a slew of nightmarish missions, and a nearly fatal run in with a Zola apologist, the past twelve months hadn’t treated either of you with kindness. You’d reached your quota on near-death experiences and stays in the med bay- but you survived. And Bucky wanted to commemorate it. 

He gave you an expectant look, “What do you think? You wanna go together?”

You let out an excited laugh- a scream, really. “Hell yeah, Barnes- Oh, I have to text Wanda!” The clicking of your nails against your screen echoed through the space as you fired off a message to Wanda. “She, Nat, Maria, and Sam are going as a group! I bet we can tag along.”

It sounded fun, but Bucky wanted to smack himself upside the head. Of course, you didn’t realize he intended it to be a date; he never actually said the words. All he said was that you should go together- but the two of you went everywhere together. Based on the way he phrased his statement, this was no different than his request for you to accompany him to Trader Joe’s. 

It would’ve been an easy fix. A quick, “Would you like to be my date?” would surely correct the situation in less than a minute. But Bucky was already in too deep. He’d worked up all his courage and spent it on asking you- incorrectly- to accompany him. And now his tank was empty. And he couldn’t retroactively ask you to be his date now; it would seem like an afterthought. You were never an afterthought.

“Wanda said we can go with them,” you shot Bucky a warm smile. “I’m so happy we’re going!”

“Good. Me too.” He matched your smile, regardless of the anxiety eating away at his insides.

Without warning, you grabbed Bucky’s hand. “I know you’re not really much of a party guy, though, so we’ll just play it by ear, alright? If at any point you wanna leave, that’s totally fine.”

Bucky gave you an overly casual shrug, “Oh, don’t worry about me, doll. I’m-”

“There’s gonna be fireworks…”

Bucky nodded.

“Are you sure you wanna go?” Your eagerness to attend Tony’ party disappeared at you thought about Bucky’s past. You didn’t want him to be uncomfortable- even for a second. “We could get away from the city for the night, instead. Maybe stay at Clint’s cabin?”

Bucky gave your hand a squeeze, “I’ll be okay. I promise. How bad could it be?” The words ‘will you be my date?’ swarmed inside Bucky’s head like a cloud of angry bees; he could barely hear you over the buzzing. Lunch ended without him asking, without you agreeing to be his date. 

Bucky found the answer to his question the moment he stepped into the party. How bad could it be? Bad. 

Hordes of people, loud music, champagne bottles popping at every turn. Cameras flashed left and right. Glitter and confetti littered the floor, making it slick as you walked through the crowd. Bucky was nearly sweating through his suit jacket. Drunk partygoers stumbled into the two of you time and time again. And while Bucky didn’t like being touched by strangers, he wanted to take the brunt. He didn’t want anyone knocking you down or stepping on your feet. 

He was uncomfortable to say the least. Just like he knew he would be. Just like you feared. Part of him wished he’d opted for the cabin getaway you offered at lunch. But you grounded him. Every time you looked at him, every time you laughed at one of his jokes or rested your hand on his arm, his world righted itself. You helped him find solace, peace- even amongst the chaos.

And though he’d seen you dressed up before, this way different. He loved way your shimmering gold dress caught the light. He loved the glittery make up that adorned your skin. You were radiant. Breathtaking. Perfect in every way. Hundreds of people filled the penthouse, but he only saw you. Only you mattered. 

“You good?” you shouted to Bucky over the roar of the crowd.

He nodded. “Why?”

“You’re staring”, you yelled. “I thought I had something in my teeth!” 

Bucky’s head fell back in a laugh that got lost in the noise of the party. He shook his head and brought his lips to your ear, speaking so that only you could hear him. “You just look really beautiful. That’s all.”

A rush of warmth flooded your cheeks. You couldn’t believe someone as perfect as him thought you were beautiful. He looked so good, so unbelievably handsome- it shouldn’t have been allowed. The way his suit fit his body nearly made you salivate. And thought you’d seen him in it before when you helped him pick it out, it still made you weak in the knees. It was the perfect material to compliment the dress you and Wanda selected for you to wear. 

And you knew the fabric would feel incredible as you gripped his lapels and pulled him in for a New Year’s kiss. 

Everything seemed to be going your way for once. Every time you had the chance to tell Bucky how you felt, something sabotaged you. Bucky was always getting phone calls from Fury at the wrong times, and Wanda’s unannounced drop-ins coincided with your confession on more than one occasion. Part of you worried that it was the universe’s way of telling you not to say anything. Maybe he didn’t have feelings for you. Maybe you were better off as friends. 

But you had to try, didn’t you?

“Hey, Buck. I was wondering if-”

Bucky couldn’t focus. He knew you were talking to him, knew that he needed to pay attention. But all he could think about was kissing you. Inhaling you. Making you his. He’d been through enough waking nightmares that nothing scared him anymore- except you. Why was he so nervous? He could run into gunfire and jump out of planes but telling you how he felt flooded his system with fear. 

He couldn’t do this. His brain screamed at him to abort the mission. 

“I’m gonna run- um, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he suddenly blurted out. “Be back in a minute.”

Before you knew what happened, he dashed through the crowd and disappeared. You stood on the dance floor- alone- with strangers bumping into you every few seconds. This had to be cosmic sabotage; the universe clearly didn’t want you to be with Bucky. But you didn’t care. You’d had just enough liquid courage to give you the tenacity you needed. The universe could get fucked, in your opinion. You balked in the face of fate and destiny and divine intervention and set off in Bucky’s direction.

He leaned over the bathroom counter and splashed cool water on his face. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his tie askew. This was just sad. Pathetic.

He was the Winter fucking Soldier- why was he scared of something so normal? So low stakes? People did this every day; they kissed the people they loved. But to him, this wasn’t normal. And the stakes had never been higher. He never thought he’d find such a great friend- and definitely never thought he’d fall so deeply in love with her. 

He wasn’t prepared for it, didn’t know how to handle these feelings. And if his confession of love or his request for a midnight kiss scared you away, he’d never forgive himself. There were plenty of reasons for you not to want Bucky romantically, so many that he couldn’t even list them all. And of course, you’d let him down gently. You’d be kind about it and would never make him feel bad. But he knew it would change your dynamic forever, and he didn’t know if he could stomach that reality. He couldn’t let you become a stranger.

Partygoers eyed you as you searched high and low for Bucky. They gave you weird looks and whispered about you as you called out his name. They must’ve thought you were an obsessed ex or a crazy fangirl- some of them probably wondered why you were allowed into the party. But you didn’t give a fuck. You were going to find Bucky if it was the last thing you did. 

Things got quieter as you moved farther from the massive crowd. Soft music played, you spotted Tony and Pepper sweet talking one another in a quiet corner. Finally, you could hear yourself think. But it was 11:58, and this penthouse was bigger that your childhood home. There was no way you were going to be able to find Bucky in time.

But you weren’t going to give up. As you rounded the corner down a long hallway, a wall of muscle bumped into you. Its mass nearly sent you crashing to the floor, until an arm wound around your waist. “Oh, shit- sweetheart, I’m sorry.” Bucky saved you from falling and pulled you close to his body. “Are you alright?”

There was no time for small talk or pleasantries, you had a mission- and your time to accomplish it was running out. “Buck, would you be my New Year’s kiss?”

Bucky stared at you, “What?”

“There’s like-” you checked your phone, “there’s like less than two minutes till the ball drops and I- do you want to kiss me at midnight? Yes or no?”

Bucky gave you a smile and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, “Doll, you’re drunk-”

“I’m not. We both know I’m not.” He was trying to get out of it- to find an excuse, wasn’t he? Embarrassment flared inside your chest. 

Bucky could’ve suffocated in the tension. His heartbeat pounded so loud in his ears it drowned out the music. The raucous crowd.

“It feels embarrassing to ask a third time, but you haven’t technically answered, so-”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded. He gave the area a cursory glance and found it less enchanting than he would’ve liked for such an important moment. “But, don’t you wanna go back to the party and see the ball drop? Or stand on the balcony to watch the fireworks?”

“No. I wanna be here. With you.”

The crowd began their countdown.

“FIVE…”

And all Bucky could do was stare at you.

“FOUR…”

He hated that he ran away, that he lost his nerve.

“THREE…”

But here you were. 

“TWO…”

Because you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“ONE…”

And he was going to get his wish

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

People cheered, music blared, fireworks exploded. But neither of you noticed

Bucky took your face in his hands and brought your lips to his. It was the kiss you’d always dreamed of. The one you waited your entire life for. Your mom always said that when you found the right person, you’d know just by kissing them. And while you’d known Bucky was your person since you met him, this just confirmed it. 

Kissing him stole your breath- but gave you life at the same time. Was it possible that you’d been holding your breath your entire life, just waiting for this moment?

An intense warmth filled your every cell and lightning struck in your chest. You melted. He knew exactly what you wanted and gave it to you without hesitation. And just as you suspected, the fabric of his lapels felt incredible in your hands as you tried to pull him closer. But there was no ‘closer’. Any closer, and the two of you would become one.

Bucky could’ve died right then. If this was what awaited him over the past hundred years, he was glad he lived so long. You were worth it- all the pain and suffering and sadness. You were worth all of it. 

When you finally pulled away, no one spoke; you weren’t sure you remembered how to. And Bucky was too lost in the taste of your lips to conjure words. It didn’t matter that you were in a random hallway or that several hundred people were screaming Don’t Stop Believin’ just a few rooms away. This was private. Intimate. Just you and Bucky. As it always should’ve been.

“NEW YEARS SHOTS!” Nat yelled as she and Sam barreled into you, knocking you further into Bucky’s grasp. “We’re all doing shots! Happy fucking new year!”

You eyed Bucky, “Um… that’s okay, Nat. I think we’re just gonna-”

Nat put you in an arm bar and marched you toward the alcohol. “If you don’t do a New Year’s shot, it’s bad luck! You wanna end up dead at the bottom of a cliff or something?” She pushed you in the direction of the bar, separating you from Bucky.

Sam nudged Bucky with his shoulder and motioned for him to wipe your lipstick off his face. 

“Finally kissed her, huh?”

Bucky nodded.

“Can’t believe it took you that long- you’ve been making googly eyes at her forever-”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “alright, alright. I haven’t been ‘making googly eyes.’”

Sam gave a laugh that echoed down the hall, “yes you have, Barnes, stop lying to yourself. They pop out of your skull every time you look at her.”

Bucky gave Sam a very shiny middle finger.

The party wound down with you managing to get away with taking only one shot. Getting drunk didn’t seem like the best idea, not when a very important conversation with Bucky loomed on the horizon.

He stayed close to you for the remainder of the party, staring at you like you hung the moon. He craved the taste of your lips, the feel of your skin. Part of him feared that this was all a dream, that he’d wake up on the floor of his shitty apartment. Alone. Missing you. 

But no matter how many times he pinched himself, things remained the same. 

The DJ packed up and went home. Most of the partygoers flooded through the lobby and into taxis. Only the team remained. Tony, Nat, and Maria drank and laughed. Wanda taught Sam her “rave hands” as he often called them. And you rested on the couch, leaning against Bucky. 

“Hey… doll, you still with me?” he gave your hand a squeeze and roused you from your slumber. “You wanna just stay here tonight? Stark said there’s a bunch of empty rooms.”

You blinked your eyes clear and gave your head a shake. “What? No, I’m good. I’m fine. You forced a smile and struggled to get your eyes to focus, “Not even tired.”

Bucky laughed, “You were literally just asleep on my arm.”

“I was not,” you said. “I can hang!”

Bucky gave you an affectionate eyeroll and laughed at your protests. You absolutely could not ‘hang’, especially not with Tony, Nat, Sam, and Wanda. They were the partiers of the group. You, on the other hand, were a lightweight. 

“Well, I cannot hang,” Bucky yawned. He knew just how to get to you, “So I was just gonna sleep here. But, by all means, you stay up with the crazies. I’ll see you-”

“Oh, well in that case…” Spending the night with Bucky sounded like the perfect way to start the new year. “Yeah, I’ll just sleep here, too.”

A quiet laugh rumbled out of Bucky’s chest as he helped you from the couch. He wound an arm around you and pulled you into his side with a quiet “come on”. And the two of you took a stroll through the penthouse. Bucky ensured you didn’t fall when your heel caught the lip of a marble stair, and he kept you upright when exhaustion tried to pull you down. 

He made you feel safe. Taken care of. Protected. 

“Here we go,” Bucky flipped on the light of a lavish bedroom and motioned for you to enter first. 

You flopped on the bed with a loud sigh and allowed Bucky to help you free your feet from your uncomfortable shoes. Everything after was a blur, as though laying down for a split second turned your brain off completely. 

Bucky helped you under the covers and made sure you were cozy. He placed your phone on a charger. And when he was sure you were settled, he pressed a goodnight kiss to your forehead. While he wanted to climb in bed with you, he wasn’t sure it was right. Yes, he’d shared a bed with you a few times. But that was before he kissed you.

He decided that sleeping elsewhere was his best bet. It guaranteed that you’d feel safe and comfortable when you woke the next morning. But as he turned to leave, you hand exploded from beneath the sheets and snatched at his wrist.

“Where’reyougoin?” You words were clumsy and tired, but Bucky understood. 

He rested a hand on yours before gently removing it from his wrist. He tucked it back under the covers with the utmost care, and left another kiss on your forehead. “I was just- I was gonna find another room…”

This woke you. Suddenly, your eyes flew open. You were fully alert. Almost alarmed. You wanted Bucky by your side- always. And he’d already kissed you, what difference did sharing a bed make?

“Would you stay, Buck? Please?”

“Of course, doll. If that’s what you want”. He ran a hand through his hair, “But, are you sure? You’ve been drinking, and I-”

“I had a total of three drinks over the course of like…” you struggled to do the math in your foggy, tired brain. “Um, like, six hours. I’m not even near drunk. I’m just tired.” Once again, your hand escaped the covers and made a grab for Bucky’s arm. You gave his sleeve a gentle tug, “No pressure if you don’t wanna sleep in here with me. But if you want to, I’d be more than okay with that.”

Bucky’s heart leapt into his throat. This was all he wanted. While your kiss at midnight was, indeed, incredible, he didn’t crave moments like that. He wasn’t after the sensational. He wanted quiet, vulnerable intimacy with you. He wanted to hold you when you’d had a rough day. To share a bed with you every night. 

And at your invitation, he joined you.

He shed his jacket, tie, shoes, and belt, and climbed into bed. Normally, he slept in just underwear. But stripping down to his briefs felt like the wrong move. He’d sleep in his dress pants and his button down- no matter how uncomfortable it was- just to make sure you felt safe.

You wriggled in your dress and tried to get comfortable. It was tight in all the wrong places, the fabric itched. But you couldn’t shimmy out of your dress and sleep in just your underwear- not when you weren’t even sure how Bucky felt about you. He’d planned to sleep in another room, and it took him three tries to agree to kiss you. Maybe he didn’t like you that way. And if that were the case, keeping your clothes on was the least you could do.

“Goodnight, Barnes,” you yawned.

“Goodnight, Doll.”

“Yo, checkout in ten,” Tony called from the hallway. “Get up and get out.”

Bucky woke with a start, nearly headbutting you. Your face rested inches from his. His metal arm draped over your side. Your hands laid on his chest. 

He couldn’t wake you- not yet. He needed to drink in the moment. You slept peacefully, your hair messy and your make up smudged. This was what he’d always dreamed of, what he feared he’d never get. But here you were. And you were prefect. 

“Hey, sweetheart…” Bucky swept a thumb over your cheek a few times, “we gotta head out.”

Against your will, you stirred. It was too early, and you were far too tired. You snuggled closer to Bucky, nearly bringing your lips to his.

He ran a hand up and down your spine and tried again, “Doll, we gotta get up.”

With a groan, you pried your eyes open. But seeing Bucky first thing in the morning perked you up better than coffee.

 “Good morning, Barnes.”

“Good morning, doll…”

He wanted to kiss you- but a sudden epiphany hit him like a train. What if that kiss was a one-time thing? What if you just wanted him for New Years- nothing more? The thought pulled Bucky from your side. He shrunk away and slipped out of bed. If he was never going to kiss you again, he needed to escape the intimacy you shared. It was a method of protection, of self-preservation. Otherwise, he’d drown in his longing for you.

“Stark said we have to be out in ten minutes, so…”

It was odd, the way he snaked out of bed so quickly after you woke. No good morning kiss. No soft touches. Nothing. But apparently, there was a ticking clock. The two of you had ten minutes to get out of the luxurious penthouse and rejoin the real world. And though you would’ve preferred a nice, slow morning with Bucky, you had a time limit. 

You wriggled out of bed and took inventory or your appearance. Your dress was completely cockeyed and crooked from a night of sleep. Your hair was a mess. And your aching feet were covered in red spots and blisters. 

“Not to be that girl, but I’m not putting these things back on,” you said to Bucky, taking your shoes in your hand. “Walk of shame vibes for me today.”

Bucky gave you a quiet laugh as he righted his shirt and put on his belt. Something about him seemed off. He was quieter than usual, not as warm. Clearly, he regretted the kiss, and now he felt uncomfortable around you. You kicked yourself for jeopardizing what you had with him. Why did you have to be greedy? Why did you have to ask for more? Things were good as they were- great, even. And yet, you couldn’t resist screwing them up.

A dull ache pulsed behind your eyes. You were exhausted, hungry, and definitely dehydrated. You dug into your purse in search of advil, but a memento from the night before distracted you. You’d slipped it into your purse and forgotten all about it. Until now.

Bucky caught you smiling down at your bag, “What are you looking at?”

“Oh, um…” your cheeks grew warm with embarrassment. It was too late to come up with a lie- Bucky saw the smitten look on your face. “It’s just this. Here…” You reached over the bed and dropped a polaroid on the sheets in front of him. “Wanda took it last night.”

It was a picture of the two of you; Bucky staring at you with an adoring smile while you threw your head back in laughter. It was the perfect encapsulation of your relationship. Bucky wished he had a copy of his own. He’d take it home, put it in a frame. He wanted more- more photos with you. More moments like this.

He stared down at it, letting the frozen moment in time wash over him. And then- “Why did you kiss me?” It was abrupt. And awkward. Bucky regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth. But he needed to know.

“What? Oh, did you not want me to?” Regret pooled in your chest. Had you violated him? Coerced him into kissing you when he didn’t want to? 

“No, I- I wanted you to.” Was he really going to do this now when you were both exhausted and still wearing the previous night’s clothes? His talent for finding terrible timing truly was impressive. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time. A really long time.”

“Oh,” your stomach did a backflip. “Okay, well-”

“I just need to know why you kissed me,” Bucky said. His words picked up in pace, his hand developed a slight tremor. He was nervous, really nervous. “Did it mean something to you? Or was it just a New Year’s thing? If it was just because you wanted to kiss someone at midnight, I get it. And that’s totally fine. I just-”

“It wasn’t just a New Year’s thing.”

The two of you stared at each other from across the bed. But it felt like he was miles away. Slowly, you took a few steps in his direction. “I mean, yeah, I wanted to kiss you at midnight- but I mean, I wanna kiss you all the time.“

Bucky’s heart stopped.

“Buck, I’ve wanted you- wanted to be with you- ever since we met. I want to be yours. I want to kiss you- not just at midnight. Not just on New Years.” You took another cautious step, careful not to spook him. “I just didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“You can’t scare me off."

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. "Oh. Well, good. Cause I think we're pretty fucking great together."

Bucky couldn't disagree. You brought out the best in each other. You cared for each other. Bucky trusted you more than he trusted anyone else, and you felt the same. The connection you shared couldn't be broken or damaged.

But Bucky couldn't escape the doubt that chipped away at his resolve. You'd spent a perfect night together and woke up tangled in each other's arms. Surely, you were just letting the previous night's festivities get to you. Influence you.

"You know, I think we should just talk about this another time- tomorrow maybe?" Bucky said. "We're both tired- and I don't want you to say anything you might regret-"

"No. I love you." Your words were steady. Even. No sign of uncertainty or question. "I know what I'm saying. I won't regret it-"

"Doll-"

Bucky didn't want to stop you; he'd dreamt of hearing you say these things since you met. But he needed you to take pause. He needed you to be sure. If you were still under the influence of the perfect night you shared, it would be easy to let those feelings cloud your judgement. He knew he couldn't handle it if, in a few days, you revoked everything you said.

"Buck, listen to me: I've known for a long time that I love you. But every time I try to tell you, something gets in the way. For a while, I thought it was the universe trying to tell me that we're not supposed to be together, but-"

"Fuck the universe."

Bucky closed the gap between your bodies and pressed his lips to yours. His hands grasped your waist, tangled in your hair. It was desperate and hungry and left you seeing stars.

He pulled away and stared at you. Watched you catch your breath. He kicked himself for trying to stop you, for doubting you.

“I didn’t mean to run from you last night," Bucky said. The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he intended. "But, I panicked- I promised myself I'd ask you to be my date to the party and that we'd kiss at midnight. And I swore I'd finally tell you that I love you...”

Finally, he said the words. You breathed a sigh of relief and felt the knot in your stomach untangle itself. "You love me, huh?"

He nodded. "A lot. But I let the party get to me. I wasn't exactly comfortable with all the people and the noise and- I lost my nerve."

You took his face in your hands and brought his forehead to yours. "Hey, that's okay. I wasn't going down without a fight, anyway." You thought back on the night before, on the ridiculous way you'd run through the party in search of Bucky. "I chased after you like a madwoman. People probably thought I was a crazy stalker or something."

Bucky laughed and pulled you tight to his body, “well, thanks for looking crazy just for me, doll.”

"Any time, Buck. Happy New Year."

He pulled you in for another kiss, knowing that there would be many more to come this year. More sleepovers. More photos. More moments spent wrapped in one another.

"Happy New Year, baby"

————————————

Taglist: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality  @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @lonewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @purpleshallot  @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie  @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine  @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi  @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @barnesselo

[savebylou]

Goodbye FITFWT we will always remember you.

This tour has give us so much to the fans. Louis after the LTWT was a different performer, a more confident artist who saw the support worldwide.

With FITF he created an album that he felt it was more like himself, he show even more confidence with the type of music he wanted to make, an album that was created to perform live and oh boy how correct he was. This album sound it even better live if that was even possible, I remember the first show in Uncasville and how everyone was so amaze of how good the show it was, LTWT was incredible but FITFWT was in another level. He and the band make something so unique and amazing every night for 97 shows.

The setlist was iconic (except when he cut songs that I love 😑), his intro in the screens writing Faith In The Future, The Greatest as an intro song, his covers where amazing, the creation of the megamix breathtaking with the rainbow lights, the moment during All this time to see the crowd, Saturdays with Lucía shining above Louis, the screen graphics, the camera following Louis during ooms, the ooms intro!! Silver Tongues and the end song with the lyrics I don't feel like going home because we were already at home in Louis' show. I could go on and on on this but just an amazing setlist and stage, lights and pyro design moments.

I will cherish every speech Louis gave, the acknowledge of the fans support wheter this was in person, online or in any way. I will remember all the times Louis said he felt incredible confident and grateful because of the fans, that he never imagined to be in those big venues and now he is, the times that he didn't feel good but the fans make him feel better and he still sing his heart out and sound it amazing.

I will remember all those livestreams I watch, all the emotions I felt every show hearing the songs I love and thinking how I will never get tired of seeing Louis' shows because how mesmerizing he is and how incredible his music is, especially live.

I will remember all those comments, reactions, the beautiful gifs this fandom made, the memes and just the community created here sharing a experience online that somehow it makes us feel part of the show in some way.

Watching Louis' shows during this last year especially has been a beautiful gift, seeing his grow, his happiness, his surprise for every fan project and the crowd excitement, his jokes, his battles with bugs, his odds challenges, his circle game, seeing all those post interactions in some shows where he show more of his personality, etc.

I keep saying this but we are very lucky to have an artist like Louis who always wants to share as most of his time as possible with fans and share as most experiences as possible in different ways, whether is doing shows in places that is not that common to do it, seeing fans after shows, taking a photo in hotels or airports, doing a worldwide livestream, giving us the live album etc.

I'm very thankful for this tour, for Louis, the band and his team that make this possible and for the fandom that either in person or online make everyone feel part of something special that I will never forget it.

Thank you to the livestreamers who allows to be part of their shows, to the updates accounts here in tumblr that work so hard to share as much content as possible, to the gif makers, the curators of content, the people that make edits, fanart, memes, reactions, texts to discuss, I appreciate your time and hard work to share that content with us. And thank you to the people that reblog all that content because this way more people see it.

I can't wait what the future holds for Louis and his brilliant mind. The sky is the limit for Louis and there is nothing that is going to stop him to keep shining his talent to the world.

[ravetillyoucry]

PUPARIA

Chapter 20 - Fast As You Can

prev - chapter 1

⚠️ this chapter involves discussion of disordered eating and abuse of power

It wasn't such an uncommon sight to see Teddy at the computer nowadays. He'd spend hours at the little desk in the corner of his apartment, now that Hosah really thought about it. He didn't really think too much of it, besides admiring how his roommate looked in his reading glasses as he sat hunched over in a chair too small for him, his eyebrows furrowed with his chin cradled in a hand, all whilst the other navigated the scroll wheel of the mouse. The shifter assumed he'd finished all his paperbacks and decided he'd rather read off of the computer than go out and buy some more, but upon closer inspection, Teddy seemed to be spending hours of his time on various different forum boards.

"Whatcha looking at?" Hosah bent over to Teddy's eye level, for once, a smug expression painted across his face as he revelled in their momentary switch in height difference.

Teddy hummed and shrugged, making his way back to the top of the page, to the original message in the thread he'd been so fixated on over the last hour or so.

"Look at this, don't you think this guy types similarly to all the letters?"

The wording was definitely akin to the piles of hand written notes Hosah had been sent about a month ago at this point. Plenty of people down at the police department were thinking the case had gone cold with how radio-silent the- suspected to be singular- perpetrator had been recently, but Hosah was still being tormented just about every day, even if it wasn't directly caused by any outward action towards him. The wait for something else to happen was worse than seeing that gun sitting out on the countertop of his long abandoned apartment. Having to wait around for Jules to actually learn the ability that is  competence and let him out of his lease early was probably far worse than any amount of physical torture he could be put through.

"Is that what you've been doing all week?" Hosah tried to stifle out a laugh, but that same feeling of suffocating dread had forced a lump into his throat, staying stagnant even in his attempts to swallow it down.

"More or less... It's just, I don't know. Read through it, it's weird. For lack of a better word." Teddy was mumbling at this point, something he very rarely did. It had to be extremely weird for Teddy of all people to not know how to describe it.

Hosah squinted at the screen for a second before his eyes focused on what exactly he was meant to be looking at, a rather long text post describing someone's experience with encountering a god. Definitely sounds like something scribbled onto one of the letters he'd received, that's for sure. Despite losing his place a few times, Hosah read along in his head the following;

'Might've been high as fuck but I think I saw god.

A god, at least. I don't know in specifics, I dunno shit about religions other than the mainstream few. I was at my buddy's house, and this was years ago, back in 95 or something, we were stupid and couldn't afford none of what we were into, psychedelics and shit, so we mustered something up and ending up off our nut from cough syrup. I felt like I couldn't breathe, not in a scary way though, in a cathartic kind of way, more like time itself had stopped along with my body, just leaving my mind to work in real time when everything else was paused.

I saw a light from the floor where my friend was. Like when you squint on a sunny day and the sun rays turn into little beams. It didn't hurt to look at, more like a sparkle of anything cause it wasn't very big. Now that I actually think back to it, it was probably my friend himself who I ended up picking up, cause I held it in my hands. I remember his face, I didn't clock it was most definitely him cause it looked nothing like my friend at all. The type of face you'd recognise in midst of a crowd, who you think you'd see in the reflection of a shop window, only for them to have disappeared when you actually turn around to look. That was who I held in my hand that day. Maybe my friend was just the vessel, and it was able to use his body to show me its true form. Or I was tripping absolute balls. Either way. He spoke to me.

Everything was still, my body moved but I wasn't in control of it, I could see myself as if I were stood over my own body. The god, or, my buddy, didn't move a muscle. His mouth didn't even move, but he still spoke to me. He told me decades worth of knowledge I'd never be able to write down in its entirety but fuck I'll try if this gets anywhere. It's been years since the experience but I saw the face again in someone else. My friend was a shifter by the way, and so is the person who I'm so fucking sure is this being I spoke to back then in an unaware, reincarnated form. Man I don't know shit about shit, anyone with any information on dead religions message me, I can tell you the important parts from what I remember if you think you know something.'

"Hmm." The shifter hummed, his face unmoving from squinting skepticism, "Moral of the story, drugs are bad, right?" He joked, but Teddy looked dead serious with concern when he glanced for validation that what he said was in fact funny.

"It's probably just another post, but it really felt like I was reading one of those notes, you know?" Teddy's voice had such a strong tone of desperation that he could've almost been pleading with the shifter.

"Relax." Hosah brought his hand up from on-top of Teddy's from the mouse and to the slouched shoulders for a reassuring pat, "I've heard like, a hundred different variations of this kind of story. Classic weird trip. If we're gonna find my stalker on the internet, you're gonna wanna check all the sadism forums first, then the conspiracy theory ones."

Teddy was quiet for a while. A long, uncomfortable while, whilst he sat with his head in his hand, his thumb driving into the knot in his brow with such force, Hosah was sure it'd go right through to the other side at any second.

"I don't know how you can crack jokes about all of this." Teddy had never sounded so serious before.

Now it was Hosah's turn to be quiet. He'd never been a massive fan of confrontation, not if he wasn't the driving force of it. He liked starting arguments, sure, but being called out by someone else was something he, as hypocritical as it was, loathed. That feeling of guilt washing over you from the top of your head, running all the way down to your toes like fresh raindrops on a window, it was something Hosah along with most people in the world tried to avoid like the plague. 

"What am I supposed to do about it? Sit and cry and shit myself?" Hosah stood back to his full height, turning back away to lean against the counter from the opposite side of the half-wall separating the living room and the kitchen, right by where the computer desk was located.

Hosah had never heard Teddy outwardly groan before, at least not at something he'd said, either. "Can you not be serious with me for once?" , Teddy's request sounded more like a frustrated demand with his harsh tone.

"I'm being serious. I don't see the point in sitting here and getting all terrified. I'm the victim, I can make a joke about my own situation here and there if I feel it necessary." The shifter desperately tried to keep his tone as flat as possible, as he was sure that if he were to get too mean, Teddy would leave him and never come back.

"There are fifteen other victims. The least you could do is take it ever so slightly more seriously than you do. Don't you get it?" Teddy also stood, lingering behind the shifter like his absurdly tall shadow as the pair manoeuvred around the apartment, "I'm not asking you to act scared all the time, I'm asking you to realise... Just, realise how worried I am. I can't sleep because of you."

Hosah turned back on his heel, leaning against the counter at an angle so he'd be looking directly up at his roommate from their difference in height without the need to crane his neck.

"What do you mean you can't sleep because of me?" The question was an honest one, but his emotions made it sound more like an offended call-out.

"I mean I'm worried sick about you. About this.  All I want in the world is for you to be fine. There's literally someone actively after you who has killed a class worth of people, and you just go about your life like you're not actively in danger constantly." Teddy's voice wobbled as he spoke, sounding a lot more desperate like he were earlier rather than necessarily angry.

The shifter had to scoff at the statement. "I've been constantly in danger since I was born, my life is on the line stalker or no stalker." He turned back around so he didn't have to look at the face he adored so much as he spat, "There are people out to get me just cause of a condition I never asked to have anyway. I don't need you to stay up and worry about me, I don't need you to save me. I'm fine. I'm capable. It's my problem, I can take it as seriously as I want."

"Hosah." Teddy's sudden shift to directly addressing the shifter brought that awful feeling of guilt right back over him. "I know you're capable, but... You can accept help when it's offered to you, you know."

The fact of the matter was, Hosah didn't know that. His emotions of pride and guilt in these moments were so strong, they filled his lungs with gallons of salty sea water, as the feeling stung at his skin when waves of heavy shame crashed against the surface of his skin, pulling him in deeper until he was fully submerged in the ocean that was taking accountability. Seagulls would fly overhead, waiting to feast once he was brought back into the spotlight of being confronted, his insides cut out and on display for Teddy to inspect, to assess his validation for just why he acted the way he did.

Teddy brought an arm around the shifter's waist as he stood, hunched over the counter with the bitter taste of his processed breakfast lingering in his throat, "I worry about you because I love you, not because I don't think you can do this without me. All I ask is that you give me a little more vulnerability. You don't have to joke about it, if you're scared you can tell me. Also.." He leant in closer, changing his tone to a much more gentle one, as if he were a parent confronting their child for smashing their favourite vase;

"Don't be mad, but, Doctor Aronov was calling when you were in the shower, and I answered to tell him I'd get you to call back, but.. He said you hadn't gone to any of the follow up appointments. I walked you to the station, what's going on?"

Hosah couldn't bare the conversation anymore. He pushed past his roommate with as much force as he could, heading straight for his coat and shoes without uttering a word. He could call out 'wait' and protest all he wanted, the shifter couldn't really care any less. This was Hosah's favourite method of avoiding being confronted; fleeing the scene.

Where exactly he were headed wasn't really something he thought about as he ran down the four flights of stairs all the way to the bottom of the apartment building, Teddy following behind with incomprehensible noise flooding out of his mouth like a broken faucet. All he knew was that he needed to walk around for a while, just to clear his mind, that was it. After all, Teddy wasn't completely wrong when he said that the shifter 'needed him'.

"Hosah! Where are you going!" The voice trailed a few metres behind him, but it wasn't enough to stop the shifter dead in his tracks.

As if Teddy being annoyed with him for his attitude wasn't bad enough, he'd known Hosah had been missing his appointments for god knows how long, and he seriously wasn't prepared to explain himself. Mostly because he had no reason to skip the meetings. They were quite literally in place to help him, but the thing was, Hosah didn't really want help. As much as it worried his roommate, Hosah felt his best when his life was on the line. Knowing of the dangers ahead was fine with him, it was the sitting and waiting in peace that was the most terrifying. Stagnancy felt wrong, being at rest felt wrong, happiness and stability felt so unbearably wrong that Hosah would try get away as soon as he felt the world settle down around him. If there were anyone in the world that deserved the torment Hosah had withstood since August, it was himself, as far as he were aware at least.

After the legal followings proceeding the event Hosah had lived through came to a close, he swore he'd never speak of them aloud again. It was done then, and it's done now. But Doctor Aronov pushed, and he pushed, and he pushed. Hosah could try dance around the subject all he liked, but the doctor wasn't quite the idiot he'd expected him to be. He had a trained eye, and he knew it went far, far deeper than the brief description the shifter had given him. It wasn't just that either. His relationship with food was more of an unhealthy friendship than a disorder, in his mind. Whenever he made the effort to fix it and move on, all the good is amplified to a thousand, and all the bad fizzles out in the background, going unnoticed whenever he yearned to be back in the rut again. Some would argue there was no good in it at all, but the thing was, it was there for him when no one else was. It was a voice in the back of his mind providing comfort in the fact he could just stay empty, stay clean, take control back, even in the darkest of hours. There was something so inexplicably exciting about watching his body decay right in-front of him, he could stop at any time, but he didn't want to. And he didn't want Doctor Aronov, or Doctor White, or even Teddy to tell him otherwise.

He wasn't mad at Teddy. The shifter could never be mad at Teddy. After all, it was him who was in the wrong, he just really didn't want to admit it just yet. There was definitely an apology due, for messing around too much, for not taking Teddy's worries seriously, for not taking anything seriously, and especially for running away like this. Hosah had been jogging for a while now, and with his uncertainty about whether his roommate was still even following, he took a turn and started to make his way over to a grocery store. People don't buy flowers as a romantic gesture anymore really, the act of bringing home a bouquet to your partner was always because you had something to be sorry about, at least, that's what his mother always told him. Spending time with Teddy often reminded him of the conversations he and his mother would have over wine at the dinner table when neither of them could sleep. Teddy was incomprehensibly smart and insightful like she was. The type of intelligence you just had to be born with, rather than that could be earned through hard work and studying.

Teddy's words lingered long and hard in the shifter's mind as he pretended to look at all the other items lining the shelves of the store to distract from the fact he was clearly trying to make up for something with his singular item of a bouquet in his basket. Maybe he could get them a bottle of something to make it look more like a date than an apology, or would that make it far too obvious. Teddy's request for him to be more vulnerable with him was confusing at best, Hosah wasn't sure what else he could do to make himself more pathetic in his eyes, he'd cried in the bathtub whilst having his hair washed by the man, he's been quite literally tiny in the palm of his hand for the majority of their relationship together, what else was there to do? Teddy wasn't much better himself. He'd told a story or two that was concerning to say the least regarding his upbringing, and he'd shared his 'greatest fear' on the second day of them meeting, but other than that... Hosah knew nothing, really. It'd been a week and a half since his roommates birthday, but the feeling of his shaking body pulling him in tight for a hug as a response to his gift was something that lingered on his skin, no matter how many times he scrubbed himself raw, Teddy's fingertips still prickled around his waist in the emptiest of rooms. He really, really wondered what all that was about. Perhaps he was just the extremely sentimental type, it made sense with how much he hoarded all his belongings, even little bits of trash like train tickets he held onto for memories sake. God. He really couldn't pretend to be worked up and annoyed at their earlier interaction the more he thought about all the most endearing parts of Teddy. This was probably the first time in his life he's actively felt inclined to apologise for being the way he is to someone.

Acting like whatever issue at hand wasn't getting him down came naturally to the shifter. He'd always felt that swelling of pride in his chest whenever anyone would describe him as a carefree person, mainly because the fact of the matter was that, he was the complete opposite, as Jeanne had told him previously. It wasn't like his facade was fool-proof, anyone who looked hard enough could see he was just putting on a front, but that disguise being seen right through by the person he wanted to believe it the most was a frightening experience to say the least. Teddy already took on a lot of the shifters problems, he didn't need to be a shoulder to cry on as well as his assistant. Hosah often thought of himself as a pile of landfill, being dumped onto Teddy's internal paradise and polluting his inner peace with all of his shit. It made him feel terrible. Teddy didn't deserve that. No, he didn't deserve Teddy, which is why he needed to apologise so badly.

Seeing a familiar face behind the register was a comfort to say the least. Hosah had thought the girl looked familiar, but couldn't quite put his finger on it until he'd read her name tag. Yojeong, from the bakery. He placed down the divider after his various unrelated items: an arrangement of various flowers, a bag of rice cakes, and a four back of beer bottles- deciding to strike up conversation just to get his mind off of his guilt for a moment.

"So, that bakery finally shut down, huh?" Hosah stifled a laugh, although he couldn't keep his eyes off of the bouquet on the conveyer as it neared closer to the register.

Yojeong was similar to Teddy in the way that her face changed so suddenly upon seeing the detective once more, "Detective Levi! Who are you buying flowers for? Ah, no, it's just undergoing renovations after a pile of rubble crashed through the floorboards and into the basement, where the kitchen was."

"I have a date." He lied.

Seeing the young girl laugh so heartily at the statement was certainly a change from their first meeting, and, also was quite offensive. "So you're gonna eat rice cakes and drink beer together, that's nice."

She scanned the flowers with careful hands, passing them straight back to Hosah rather than pushing them down to the bottom of the till as she did the other items to be bagged. He wasn't all that knowledgeable about flowers, but the arrangement looked pretty enough, like something Teddy already had painted on a china set.

"Don't knock it until you try it." The detective was glad he kept his wallet in his coat pocket at all times as he pulled out what little cash he had on him, "And don't get into too much trouble with that pastry thief around."

"I think he's just shy.." Yojeong said mindlessly as she sorted through the cash register for change, "I've tried to just talk to him and come up with a solution to, you know, not tear the roof off and still get the pastries for him, but, he just runs away every time. Then I'm left at the behind the counter with no roof."

"We'll get him any day now, just hang on tight. And.. Make sure you're staying safe. It's a good thing that bakery bandit is pretty docile, usually more havoc is wreaked in these kinds of situations." The pair exchanged a final nod before it was time to find Teddy again, or, for Teddy to find him, that was.

Before the detective could turn around, there was one last thing Yojeong forgot to mention, "Good luck on your date."

"Yeah, you too."

Fuck. You too?

To say Hosah sped-walked out of the automatic doors would've been an understatement. With a bouquet in hand, a bag of groceries in the other, there was one last thing to do, and that was to find Teddy. He'd forgotten to pick up his phone when he made a mad dash from the apartment, so it's not like he could call and ask where he'd wandered off to. Even if he could, a phone call wouldn't be practical. What would he even say? If he wanted to talk to Teddy, it'd have to be in person first, that way he could get whatever it was he had cooking in preparation off of his chest, and they could go back to normal. Funnily enough, Hosah had found himself thinking back to the post that had started their argument in the first place. They'd gone so ridiculously off topic in their fight, it would've been comedic if it hadn't shaken the shifter so badly.

Some time away from eachother was probably for the better, even if it was just an hour or two. They were both getting more irritable around eachother as the so called 'honeymoon phase' had began to come to an end, and the fact they spent every waking second by eachother's side probably wasn't helping their case either. Hosah liked being around his roommate, even if their relationship was complicated, even if he made him arguably a lot more defensive of his soft spots than anyone else, he just didn't want Teddy to see him in his true form. He wanted Teddy to see his best side, or, the side he'd created to appear to be the best that he could get, even if it wasn't true to who he was as a person. Hosah even annoyed himself with some of the things he said, as he thought back to just about every interaction he'd ever had that had left him thinking 'that sounded a lot less cynical and insufferable in my head', honestly he was surprised Teddy had even become fond of him at all, as he'd always been pretty aggravating in regards to his attitude towards most things. Maybe his roommates ability to see through his act wasn't such a bad thing after all.

After a long while of looking aimlessly around the unpopulated streets that was the local area surrounding Teddy's apartment complex, the shifter had decided to take a break and sit on a bench facing the city's skyline, sparkling in the distance as it had gotten dark out already, signalling the beginning of winter, despite it not even being November yet, at least not until the next day. As he stared at the brown paper bag beside him, Hosah had two main thoughts. One was that he didn't deserve to eat, and that he should just give everything he'd bought to Teddy since he owed him so much in the first place, but his other was that he could really, really use a drink and to stuff his face right now.

Whatever, he could repent later once he'd earned forgiveness.

-~-

> Follow up - Might've been high as fuck but I think I saw god.

I'll admit it, I regret the type of person I became after that experience. I've never felt anything like it in my life. Like holding that thing, that person, god, in my hand healed me of everything I'd ever gone through. I could forget pain and what it even meant to be hurt when I held him. I'm fucked, like totally. I've been with shifters after, as many as I could, and I've done a lot of shit I regret as a result of that. Got a little addicted to renting services, became the type of person I used to hate and swear I could never understand what made someone do such things. I'll be the first to admit that I got too involved in the online world. I learnt a lot, not necessarily about the god themself that I came into contact to, but about my ideologies. At some point I was more renting people over just because I was mad at them. I started to really embody the phrase you see all the time on here, something about flies dropping dead just as much as shifters do, yet they don't get the coddling that they do. I felt victimised by the system, and I needed to take out my frustrations on those that were probably far worse off than I had ever been. That, I regret. I regret not taking the time to understand. In regards to who I saw with the face of my god, I do know more than I should about him. I'm not gonna post nothing cause shits under a lot of wraps that I really can't get into without me getting in any trouble. I've done literally all I can to get into contact. I've tried letters, I've tried attracting his job to me if you're catching what I'm throwing. I've hurt him, I've hurt people close to him, and shit he doesn't even know who I am. I've done too much to come forward now anyway, if I tried it the normal route now I'd  be shot on sight by the FBI or whatever the fuck. I don't fucking know. Just that I'm in deep shit, probably.

As much as I regret what I've done to get this guys attention, I can't stop myself from doing it. The first time I killed someone, I freaked the fuck out. I couldn't breathe, I threw up all over myself, I wrecked the hotel room, the full nine yards. Then it hit me, I took a life. I don't know, maybe I'm just delusional, but, in that moment, when I watched the colour drain from the face, I felt taken over. I'm not psychotic as far as I'm aware, but I was in another out of body experience. I watched myself from a third person view, and I realised, maybe the search for god externally was the wrong way to go after all, and that I could embody that pure euphoric energy within me just through using my divine right to take what I wanted. I don't know what I'll do when I can finally come into direct contact with the face of the god I saw, but I'm not gonna hold back, whatever I do. After all, it's not like they all don't deserve it in some way. I'd call my actions more of a protest than abuse of my power, but both probably apply in some way shape or form.

[satureja13]

The morning of the playtest! But who will be the first to enter the Therapy Game?

Jack: "Fear not my furless friends! For I - the Supersoldier - will boldly go where no creature had gone before!"

Saiwa, deliberately ignoring him: "So who will test this amazing technology first?" Jack: "Me! Me, me, ME!" Saiwa: "Hm... no volunteers? I would go myself but I'll have to supervise the devices and the AI... What about you Ji Ho?" Ji Ho: "Me? ö.Ö' Uhm..." Saiwa: "Right, this would not be a good idea. You are too precious for this." Jack: "Me! I will do it! What? Am I not precious or what? Ach! I don't care! C'mon Sai! Me, me, ME!"

Saiwa, still deliberately ignoring him: "Hmmm who else is eligible?..." Jack: "ME!!! Me, me, ME!" Saiwa: "What about you, Vlad?" Vlad: "Sure!" Jack: "What? And you claim to be my best friend! Tch!" Vlad: "But shouldn't we choose the one we can the easiest live without? In case something goes wrong?" Jack: "And that would be me! And thanks for your concerns: but Tiny Can will ensure I remain unscathed. Because he loves -> me!"

Nothing is as annoying as Puppy Jack ^^'

This is the mirror episode to this one :3

Saiwa: "Let's go!" Jack: "AWOOOOO!"

Saiwa and Vlad refunctioned the Therapy Room. Jack: "Wow! Will you be able to watch on the big screen?" Saiwa: "I hope so."

Tiny can is already connected and compiling.

Saiwa: "And these are your VR glasses and the Controller Arm." Jack: "This is so cool! Thank you, Sai!"

Saiwa: "Please be careful. As soon as you experience something off or weird, tell us and we stop it! We don't know what awaits us there and Arturo might have gotten that board from the Council and ..." Jack: "Omg Saiwa, it's just a game! What can possibly happen? You sound like my mom - if I had one..." And then he took a selfie, because it's so cool...

Jack: "That's a small step for a wolf - a giant leap for creaturekind!" Saiwa: "Omg! Go already!"

Jack: "Can't wait! ... Seems there is only one place I can go, so I'll just start there?" Saiwa: "Makes sense. This is your customized therapy session after all."

Jack: "Hm, I can see nothing - but I hear a crowd chanting. 'Wolfsbane! Wolfsbane!' " Saiwa: "Us neither. Wait, I'll make some adjustments. And to Tiny Can: "Tiny Can, check your graphics output, please." Tiny Can let out a streak of beeping sounds.

Jack: "Oh I can see! It's blurry and distorted - ah... now it's slowly getting better - but... ah" Jack gasped for air.

Saiwa still can't see anything: "Jack! What's wrong?" Jack tried to speak between gasping for air: "I... I'm... locked up! ...out!" And the he collapsed. (Due to his difficult past and after being locked up as a toddler and later with Saiwa in the lab and again when he and Ji Ho almost died in a fire, Jack can't stand being locked up.)

Jack also collapsed in the room in Tomarang and Saiwa is immediately stopping the game. Saiwa: "Tiny Can, stop the simulation!"

Vlad is helping Jack up and get's him to breathe again. Saiwa cries: "I'm so sorry, cub." (That's not the first time Saiwa is mean to Jack and something happens to him ö.Ö') And Ji Ho is petrified. Jack is like a brother to him and one of his best friends. This all started so promising and could have been of so much help for them... Tiny Can also looks abashed and beeps sadly...

'Terrified of the open road Yeah, where it leads ya never know But rest assured he'll be on you back Yeah, the holy ghost through his tounges in black As the band dog howls and the young girl cries The blessed virgin in her proud dad's eye The albatross hangin' round your neck Is the cross you bare for your sins he bleeds

Rebels are we, though heavy our hearts shall always be Ah, no ball or chain no prison shall keep We're the rebels of the sacred heart I said, no ball or chain, no prison shall keep We're the rebels of the Sacred Heart'

Flogging Molly - Rebels of the Sacred Heart This is one of my favourite songs of all time and I had it as my wake-up-song for many years. I just googled the meaning behind the lyrics and it's quite interesting to read. This song seems to tell about my own upbringing and now I love it even more.

This chapter's music is going to be very Irish/Scottish. Have I ever told you how much I love Ireland? I've never been there but whenever I see pics of Ireland, I cry. So I fear if I visit, I can't stop myself from crying all the time^^'

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[lacesoflove]

The Way Things Go ₊✧⋆ Hamzah x Reader

WC: 1.6K

Warnings: pure unbridled angst, mentions of substance abuse, implied body dysmorphia, suggestive (?) + bad writing and inconsistent tense use

Notes: y/n is written with a black reader in mind (i can't remember if it comes up or not), also hamzah and her barely even interact in this tbh. Highly reccomend listening to Hag by Nussy Andrews to elevate the reading experience

YOUR LIFE HAD ITS WAYS OF SPITING YOU.  ⋆˚✿˖°

You couldn’t entirely fault the universe or God (if you still believed in one anyway), even if you tried your hardest to. Whilst the traps had been set like a predetermined force of nature, you had allowed yourself to fall into them like the hapless fool you had kept proving yourself to be.  

And once again, even as you fought against yourself and your fates, you found yourself in another entanglement, this time taking the form of a crowded house party in downtown Toronto with all those people and all their Pinterest-chic outfits and all the loud obnoxious 2010s top 100 hits. You were one replay of Hotel Room Service away from killing yourself, and with the depression blooming in your body, you weren’t quite sure how serious you were with that notion.  

In a dull attempt to soothe the irritation, you took a final swig from the red cup nursing your vodka Red Bull. It had quickly deteriorated in taste, going from ‘I’m going to have the best evening of my life!’ to mulling over every life choice you had ever made, with one of said choices being across the room.  

His body leaned over hers, and even through his thick mop of curls (the same curls you had remembered tenderly running your hands through in the morning, as the blinds filtered the sun through, casting a warm glow against his honey-browned skin), you could see the puppy dog gaze he held for her as his hands ran up and down against her slim back. She should have been you, and this wasn’t supposed to be the new normal. And suddenly, all at once, you had a void where you should have had a heart.  

You placed the disappointingly empty cup on top of the sound system (you had remembered him mentioning he wanted to get one; at the time he didn’t have the funds to— you guessed he did now) and decided that the new all-consuming task of the evening would be locating your friend Aisha. Truthfully speaking, you knew where she was—fucking some podcast bro, names of her former exes spilling out from her mouth in place of his—the sad part was that the dude was probably too coked out to notice. It didn’t really matter that you knew that if you walked to the guest bathroom to the right of the front door, you’d find her in a position that went against the very religious ideals that your Catholic girl’s high school had imparted on both of you; what mattered was that it would distract you, maybe even better than the vodka did.  

Unfortunately, getting to Aisha meant going past him, and going past him was the new equivalent of death. You’d much rather live, so you decided to head to the kitchen.  

It was dim and empty, besides one boy in the corner, his face illuminated by his phone screen. You ignored him and headed to the six-pack of drinks on the counter. You opened a can and downed it fully. It tasted like summers forever ago and peaches. You decided to go for another one.  

“Woah—” the boy from across the kitchen exclaimed. Suddenly, you realized how sad you must have looked, armed with one and a half empty cans of alcohol and a face riddled with anxiety.  

“Sorry, I didn't mean to look like an alcoholic,” you said, with a nervous chuckle, setting the cans down.  

“Nah, it’s chill,” he said. He cocked his head, and his eyebrows knit together—you were familiar to him in a way he wasn’t entirely sure how. You could say the same.  

“What’s your name?” he asked; it was a bit pointed but not exactly mean.  

“Y/N,” you responded, and you saw him still looking at you in confusion. The bells remained unrung. “My nickname is Dovie or Dove, though.”  

As if exclaiming bingo, his brown eyes widened as if he could suddenly place you to someone, and you were hoping it was not him.  

He snapped and pointed his fingers at you before asking the ill-fated question, “Do you know Hamzah?”  

In an idyllic world where you were the heroine, free with your own tongue, you would have slyly remarked how you wished you didn’t know him—unfortunately, you were not. What you were instead was a girl permeated by suffering and immense heartbreak—so instead, you settled your response with, “Yeah, I do—well did, anyway,” followed up with a quick “do you?”  

“Well yeah, I’m Martin; his friend. Me and him did YouTube together,” he replied.  

Suddenly, you could place the boy’s face onto the YouTube thumbnails that would occasionally pop up on your YouTube feed, which you’d often have to ‘press not interested’ on. Aisha always pestered you to block the channel, but you could never bring yourself to do it.  

You were unsure what to say, really; part of you wanted to pry and ask him everything about what Hamzah thought of you, said about you; instead, you settled on asking about Aisha.  

“Um, so anyway, have you seen a blonde chick?” In totally seamless (at least that’s what you told yourself) fashion, you managed to get the conversation away from him.  

“Unfortunately not,” Martin said with a head shake. “The only blonde here I know is my girlfriend, Mandy.”  

You noticed how a small smile crept up when he said the word girlfriend. It was cute in a way that reminded you of how sick you were with your loneliness. You wondered if your loneliness radiated off of you, like a contagion.  

“Ah, well, I’m sure I’ll find her,” you whispered under your breath.  

Through the open archway of the kitchen, you could see him from the other end of the living room, smiling and chuckling with the same girl from earlier. His hands inched up her legs, her smooth, buttery legs. Legs that you never had and weren’t yours. You supposed this was the part of the evening where you finally decided to go collect Aisha and you’d both go home together, and she’d quarrel with you about how you should’ve “gotten your man back,” and you would’ve retorted with some lie about how you’d moved on. But the universe always found a way to ruin you in a new way, and Aisha sent you a text about how she had gone home safely. You didn’t even bother to open the message in full, only reading the first few parts of it on your notification screen.  

Hey bb <3 going w a guy! Text me when you get back and how your…  

When you stared up from your phone, Martin was staring at you, concerned. “Everything okay?”  

“Yeah, no, my friend just went home—with some douchebag, I’m sure. I should leave too.”  

“Do you need someone to walk you back home or at least out of the building?” Martin asked, his voice laced with concern.  

“I can manage; I’m a big girl, after all.” That elicited a nervous but gentle chuckle from both of you. You gave him a small wave of goodbye before you set to leave, but you were disrupted by his voice again.  

“Hey, um—Y/N?” he asked.  

“Yeah,” you responded.  

“He’s sorry,” he said.  

“What?” You turned around, confused.  

“He’s sorry,” he repeated.  

“All he ever tells me about you is that he’s sorry,” Martin explained.  

You weren’t exactly sure what to do with that information, but it felt like there was a lump in your throat, and as long as you were in this—no, his—apartment, you would suffocate in your own misery. All you could do was nod before leaving the kitchen.  

As you left, you passed through the crowded living room. Sometime during your being in the kitchen, the living room had become somewhat of a small-scale mosh pit. You bumped into multiple bodies on your way out; it didn’t really bother you—you just wanted out—until you bumped into him. His brown eyes locked with yours.  

And in the following moments, you realised two fundamentally devastating truths at once.  

You were still in love with him, and seeing his face this close might make you fall in love all over again. And secondly, he hated you with every fibre of his being. You saw this in the way his eyes crinkled with disgust, the way in which his smile faltered ever so slightly, and in the way he distanced himself. The last part you weren’t actually sure of; the girl he was with earlier seemed to have taken him away. In that case, he wasn’t protesting, and either way, he didn’t seem to want to get any closer to you.  

As he disappeared as quickly as he bumped into you, you took that as your final cue to leave.  

You made it to the street and hailed a taxi. It smelled rich and perfumed with the faint hint of food. Part of you thought of what you were going to eat when you got home; another part of you ruminate over the girl’s legs, how Hamzah was so enamoured with them. How thin they were. You decided to get to bed hungry—it’s not like you were that hungry, right?  

You opened iMessages and shot a text to Aisha.  

Text me in the morning; also, next time maybe don’t invite me to my ex’s place for a party, then leave me at said party.  

You frowned. Too hostile. You added a couple heart emoticons at the end before shutting your phone and dropping it into your brown leather bag and letting your head fall against the window, the vibrations of the car allowing you to lull into a light sleep. Author's Note:

hope u guys enjoyed this <3 this was actually a scrapped intro to a whole series i had in mind but i don't think this was that good but i also know that hamzah fics are kinda getting less and less so this is my contribution to the drought 🫡

[avacoleman]

when the lights go out || a firstprince fic

summary: Henry Fox’s career is in crisis and his dating life isn’t faring much better either.  After a chance encounter with a charming man becomes memorable for all the wrong reasons, Henry throws himself into his next assignment: writing the memoir of a beloved C-list actor. Henry, however, knows Alex best for the role he played as his random, awkward one-night stand. Henry enters their professional partnership keen on keeping their relationship just that. But after Henry confesses that their hookup was less than spectacular, Alex concots an arrangement that Henry is unable to resist. In addition to ghostwriting Alex’s life story, Henry will teach him a thing or two about satisfying a man.  As they spend months out on the road together, they must decide if the connection between them is yet another story worth telling.

chapter 4/8 || rated e || read on ao3 *updates every tues. and fri. *

Denver, CO Rocky Mountain Expo Henry thanks the powers that be for allowing Pez to crash the tour for the next two days. And by that, he means he cannot thank Alex enough for arranging for Pez to join them at Rocky Mountain Expo in Denver. He figures it might’ve been him mentioning one too many times how much of a Crescent Valley fan Pez was that Alex perhaps took pity and worked some magic behind the scenes to get him to fly out. Whatever it is, Henry is immensely grateful. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed Pez’s presence. Certainly they’d kept up well with FaceTimes and texts over the last few weeks, but there’s nothing quite like genuine face to face connection with a person– especially when that someone is none other than Percy Okonjo. At his side now, Henry watches Pez drink it all in. The convention center, like every other stop so far, is brimming with people from all sorts of fandoms. It’s chaotic and exciting, all baselines for a guy like Pez.  Alex had left from their hotel earlier than Henry so that he could attend the scheduled fan breakfast and Henry could be available to get Pez sorted. It’s such a small thing, but it was almost as strange being apart from Alex this morning as it has been to be away from Pez these past couple of weeks. Henry hadn't realized just how dependent he’d grown on Alex’s company.

Henry’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he and Pez visit different vendors in Artist Alley where creatives sell their custom made pieces. He takes a look at the screen and sees a text from Alex.

Alex everything going well with you and pez?

Henry smiles and notes the time. There’s still thirty minutes before Alex’s panel and having the experience firsthand, he can just imagine Alex behind the scenes, keeping busy to work out his excited energy.

Henry Indeed. Would it be alright if I brought him round to meet you now? Or would after be better?

Alex now pls!

“We’re being summoned,” Henry says, pocketing his phone again. 

Pez doesn’t need any more prompting and Henry leads them through the crowds to get to the hall Alex’s panel is being held. He’s surprised but pleased to find Alex already waiting for them by a private set of doors. Henry’s heart does a funny little swoop seeing Alex standing there, greeting them with a smile.

“Alex. I wanted you to meet Pez.”

Alex beams his thousand-watt smile at Pez.

“I feel like I already know you. Henry talks about you all the time. Nothing but good things, I promise,” he says.

Pez looks more and more like the Cheshire Cat as his smile overtakes his face.

“Alex Claremont-Diaz, as I live and breathe,” Pez says in a scarily good Southern debutante accent.

“You’ll have to forgive Pez. He has consumed far too much American media from the time he was a small, impressionable child. I fear the damage cannot be undone.”

Alex laughs. “It’s paid off pretty well. That sounded authentic as hell. You could give me a run for my money.”

Pez, unshakable formidable Pez, actually giggles at the compliment.

“You’re a charmer. Go on now. Keep saying more nice things. I won’t object.”

Henry watches them go, riffing off each other as if they’ve known each other forever. It feels like Henry has entered into an alternate universe of some kind, watching his worlds collide.

“I’m sure you guys must’ve made plans, but if you’re interested, I’d love to take y’all out for dinner tonight,” Alex says.

Pez’s eyes light up. “I’m sure we could shuffle a few things around,” he says, looking at Henry for confirmation. He nods and Pez smiles.

“We’d be delighted. Dinner sounds positively lovely. Thank you,” Pez continues.

Henry turns to Alex. “We could all meet back in the hotel lobby at quarter to 7 perhaps?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, that’d be great. Things should be pretty hectic at the expo today. I’ll look into making reservations nearby afterwards."

Voices carry a bit louder from inside the hall.

"I should probably get back," Alex says. "But have fun you guys and enjoy the panel. Pez, it was really nice meeting you. I will absolutely be expecting a truckload of embarrassing stories and any overall dirt you might have on Henry, so start brainstorming now,” he says with a wink.

 Henry already rues turning them into co-conspirators.

Pez smiles and wiggles his fingers at Alex before he leaves them to head to the greenroom. The moment Alex rounds the corner, Pez does an unseemly victory dance right there in the corridor.

“How can you possibly stand being around him all day every day without wanting to jump his bones? He’s even more attractive in person. That’s just unnatural. Dare I say, it’s supernatural.”

Henry touches his hand to his forehead.

“Come on. Let’s go grab our seats. They’ll be starting shortly.”

~*~*~

The secret of his true dynamic with Alex haunts Henry like a tell-tale heart. Each time Pez mentioned Alex’s name after the panel and now back here in their hotel room, Henry feels as if he could choke on the secret.

“I’ve hit rock bottom,” he says, apropos of nothing as he and Pez watch an episode of Crescent Valley on his laptop in bed.

“Welcome! There’s plenty of room down here,” Pez says, yanking Henry to rest his head in his lap. “Come now, tell Auntie Pezza what ails you, my darling.”

Henry sighs and hits the spacebar, freezing the show. It’s a small mercy that it isn’t a scene with Alex. He’s not so sure he’d be able to get through this conversation with Alex’s face right there in front of them.

“I think I’ve made a mistake.”

Pez’s fingers scratch lightly against Henry’s scalp.

“My dear Henry, you’re a writer. I need you to put your fancy degree to good use and elaborate for me, love.”

Henry looks away, unable to maintain eye contact for what he’s about to say.

“Part of me is falling for someone that I shouldn’t. Maybe ‘falling for’ is a bit too much. I need more time to parse it, but I feel…different sometimes.”

Pez’s hand stops combing through his hair.

“Hang on now. You haven’t met anyone new recently that I know of. I mean, there’s that secret midnight hookup back in New York and of course, scrumptious Alex. The latter would be bonkers, but it can’t be the former. You never got his info.”

Henry bites back on his lower lip. Pez is so close to the mark.

“That’s not exactly true. I sort of…ran into him the next day.”

“Have you any Advil here? I swear you’re giving me a headache talking in riddles like this. You had lunch with Alex the next day and then came straight home, no?”

Pez’s eyes grow wide, realization sinking in. Henry sits up and not a moment too soon as Pez’s hands fly to his mouth and he muffles a scream.

“No! Oh, my god, wait. No. There’s just no way! You don’t mean to say…Alex is Javier?”

Henry looks down at his hands, suddenly very fascinated with them.

“Well, now, that just shattered all my illusions. Pity he wasn’t good in bed. As fit as he is…hmm.”

“He wasn’t good that first night, no. But since then…”

“Since then! ” Pez shrieks, completely scandalized. “Grab the smelling salts! Get me a lounge chair! I’m going to pass out, I swear it. This is simply too much for me to take,” he says, putting a hand over his heart.

Pez shakes his head almost cartoonishly.

“Do you mean to tell me you two have been shagging this whole time?”

“Not the whole time,” Henry says reflexively. “Look, Pez, you cannot say a word to anyone, do you understand?”

Pez’s face grows serious, all his theatrics subsiding at the drop of a hat. 

“I give you my word. You know that. I wouldn’t tell a soul.”

Henry nods. “No, I know. I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing anxiously at his temple. “I’m just…there’s so much riding on this, you know? The book, my contract. Most importantly though, he’s only out to his friends and family right now. This isn’t even my secret to tell. But, heavens, Pez, I feel like I’ve been dying keeping this in. Things are so good with us. I’ve been loving being on this tour.”

“Well, I should think so,” Pez says, smirking a little. “If I were spending my nights tangled in the sheets with none other than Alex Claremont-Diaz, I’d be having the time of my already fabulous life too.”

Henry shoves him gently.

“You’re horrible, but I’ll admit, that’s been an added bonus. But honestly? I simply like being around him. He’s clever and funny and smart and infuriating in the best ways at times…I don’t know. It’s been fun getting to know him.”

Pez’s brows furrow a bit.

“Are you sure you can handle this, Hazza? It actually does sound an awful lot like you’re falling pretty hard here. I assume you two have struck up a deal of some sort with guidelines?”

“It’s just casual. Platonic even. I’m merely giving him pointers in the bedroom and by the time I leave from the tour, that’ll be the end of that. We’ll both move on from this,” Henry says.

Pez doesn’t look entirely convinced. 

“I don’t think you can put a hard deadline on feelings. No offense, but casual has never quite been your factory setting.”

Henry shakes his head. “It’s fine. This is so unlike me. I’m only being silly now, getting swept up in the secrecy of it all.”

Pez grins. “That I can understand. This is terribly salacious. I’m eating it up with a bib and a spoon.”

Pez hums and taps his chin. “Now, let’s back it up just a taste for one moment, honey. When you say he’s improved since New York…”

Henry buries his face in his hands and groans.

“Oh, come on! You’ve got to give me something here,” Pez insists. “You’ve been sitting on an absolute treasure trove of a secret for weeks now!”

Henry looks up and takes a deep breath.

“He…takes instructions very well. He’s a rather quick and adept learner. An enthusiastic one at that.”

Pez’s smile grows even wider which Henry didn’t think was humanly possible.

“I’d absolutely hate you if I didn’t love you so much. I’m dying. Good on you though.”

Henry laughs at the absurdity of Pez’s praise.

“Anyway, I needed to tell someone before I popped, so thank you for indulging me.”

“No, no. Thank you, my dear, for this cup of delicious, piping hot tea. I’m all the more excited for dinner now, to get to know the kitten who has gotten my best friend so smitten.”

~*~*~

After an incredible dinner at one of the trendiest restaurants Henry has ever been to, Pez insists they keep the night going with drinks downtown. It’s truly a marvel to see how easily his best friend is able to be at home anywhere, even a place he’s only now visiting for the first time.

From the moment they entered the club, Pez took his place on the dancefloor like a king holding court among his subjects. He dances with perfectly good strangers, cozying up to a few of them. Henry is already wondering if he’ll have to arrange to sleep elsewhere tonight.

He shakes his head to himself as he reaches for his drink where he and Alex sit in a corner booth, away from the crowd but with a perfect view to see it all.

“You told Pez about us,” Alex says out of the blue, a statement not a question.

Henry bites nervously on his bottom lip, stunned. He thinks back to dinner. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He actually thought Pez did a good job of hiding the fact that he was in on the secret. Yet still, Alex clearly picked up on something.

“I did. I’m sorry. I promise, he wouldn’t tell anyone. Subtly may not be his strong suit,” he says, glancing over Pez with his bubblegum pink hair and flashy sequined jacket, an all-out blur on the dancefloor, “but discretion is. He knows you aren’t out. He’d never in a million years breathe a word of any of this.”

Alex nods and smiles. “If you trust him, so do I. Honestly, I’m not worried. In all fairness, I told my sister and Nora.”

Henry can’t even begin to absorb that information or the possible implications of it. It’s just enough to know that this dynamic between them felt worthwhile enough for Alex to tell the two closest people to him.

“And do they think us mad for this?”

“Actually, no. They damn near threw me a party,” Alex says, reaching for his beer and laughing to himself.  “Your fan club increased by two automatically.”

Henry lifts a brow. “Am I to assume you’re a member too?”

“Sweetheart, I’m the president. The founding member.”

Henry smiles demurely and shakes his head. 

“Once again, I must say, you do wonders for my self-esteem. Thank you.”

Alex eyes him curiously.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Henry says. “What’s on your mind?”

“How the fuck are you single? Not that I’m actually complaining because, selfishly, there’s no way in hell we’d be able to do any of the things we’ve been doing since New York. I’m counting my lucky stars and all that jazz, but still. It’s absolutely crazy to me that you aren’t seeing anyone. I’m sure that’s a conscious choice on your part. It’s got to be. A guy like you wouldn’t have any issues finding a boyfriend if you wanted one.”

Henry rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I’m too closed off.”

“Bullshit. The night we met, you opened up to me. You were so easy to talk to. I felt like I’d always known you.”

This brings Henry up short. He’d felt that same connection with Alex too, but to hear the man echo the sentiment almost identically to how he’d thought about it is slightly disorienting.

“I think we’ve established that night was a special case. It was different with you. I was different with you than I normally am with literally every other guy I’ve pursued. I don’t know why. I just felt comfortable so it was easy, for the first time in God only knows how long to open up. It was a fluke.”

“Or fate,” Alex says. His eyes widen and he blinks twice quickly. “I’m like…I’m not trying to say we’re soulmates or anything,” he stammers. “I just mean, I don’t know. It’s rare for me too to click with someone like that. I think there’s something to be said for two people like us just happening across each other then crossing paths again the very next day. What are the odds of that?”

Henry is quiet as he mulls over Alex’s words. 

“I don’t mean to freak you out. Shit, just forget I said anything.”

Henry shakes his head.

“You didn't. I think you might actually have a point and I don’t know what to make of it.”

He searches Alex's eyes then looks away, back down to his laptop.

“Anyway, to answer your question, I suppose I’m single because it simply isn’t my time right now. I’ve never truly been lucky in that department. Our night aside, I really do have a tendency to guard myself.”

“Why?” Alex asks. “There’s so much good in there. I could see it on day one. That’s what drew me to you in the first place.”

“So it wasn’t just my dashing good looks and accent?”

Alex cocks his head to the side and gives him a look.

“I’m serious. I’ve been seeing it ever since. You’re depriving people, Henry. Most of all, yourself and I think that’s the worst part in all of this. It’d be a shame to never share that.”

Henry’s brows furrow. In a way, hadn’t he been letting Alex in this whole time? Henry realizes belatedly that maybe it didn’t count. After all, none of this was actually real. 

If only his heart knew that.

“Shall I get us another round?” he says, rising from his seat, suddenly needing to be away from this suffocating booth.

Alex runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck. Henry, wait. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Henry says, perhaps too quickly. He tries again, setting his hand down on the table. 

“We’re good. I just…I need a moment is all. Besides, I should probably get Pez a large glass of water before he passes out.”

Alex’s knuckles touch the back of his hand. It’s so subtle and faint, any passerby wouldn’t even notice. But that small point of contact becomes the sole focus of Henry’s entire world.

“You’re sure we’re okay?” Alex asks again.

Henry stares back at him.

“Always.”

~*~*~

Columbus, OH GalaxyCon Day 1

Another week, another time zone and Henry is convinced tour life might actually be the death of him.

When they arrived in Ohio yesterday evening, Henry had felt a bit off. He ignored the feeling, not wanting anything to put a damper on the upcoming con and Alex’s excitement over it. He’d be joined again by his castmates and was looking forward to the big dinner they had planned before they were all parting ways again.

Henry liked how pumped Alex got ahead of and during cons, the way he’d light up at the prospect of seeing familiar faces in the crowds and new ones alike. Since the announcement, Henry has noticed the uptick in fervor from both Alex and fans. The last thing Henry wants to do is give Alex any cause for concern or worry.

He gets through most of the morning at GalaxyCon pretty well until close to noon when Alex’s panel is set to start.

“You okay?” Alex asks. “You look a little pale.”

“Yeah, I think all this traveling is catching up to me.”

Alex puts the back of his hand on Henry’s forehead.

“You feel warm, Henry. You must be coming down with something.”

Henry can hear the worry in Alex's voice.

“I’m fine.”

“I can literally see and feel that you aren’t.”

Henry can hear fans being let into the hall. Maybe all he needs now is just some time away to sit alone with some peace and quiet.

“If it’s alright with you, I’m going to pop back to the hotel and get some rest.”

Alex’s lips and brows are pinched with concern.

“Of course it’s okay. Do you need anything?”

Henry shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me. You have your panel to focus on. I’ll be fine.”

Alex doesn’t look convinced and Henry can see the debate he’s having with himself.

He touches Alex’s arm lightly. “I’ll check in with you later. Go have fun out there with your friends.”

Almost on cue, the rest of the cast starts to line up behind the stage. Henry watches them go past but Alex doesn’t budge.

“Go, Alex. I’ll be fine.”

Alex sighs and nods, finally accepting defeat.

“The second we’re done here though, I’m calling you.”

“Fair enough,” Henry says. “I’ll be as good as new by the time you do. You’ll see.”

~*~*~

There’s an annoying pounding sound that makes Henry’s already aching head feel worse as he opens his eyes.

“Henry, let me in,” he hears faintly.

Henry groans and rolls over in bed, instantly regretting the move. His vision feels like a dizzying kaleidoscope. He shuts his eyes again and takes a breath before looking around his room.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been knocked out, but the sun is no longer in the sky and that’s telling enough.

“Henry?” the voice calls again. There are three more quick knocks on the door. “You’re freaking me out. Open up.”

Alex. 

Henry sways as he gets to his feet. It takes a moment for the room to stop feeling like it’s spinning before he walks over to the door and opens it.

On the other side, he’s met with an anxious looking Alex who takes a deep breath of relief.

“Thank God. I was about to get hotel security.”

“I’m fine,” Henry says. 

Alex’s face is incredulous. “You look like shit which I never thought was possible. No offense,” he tacks on. “Shaan has been calling you. I’ve been calling you. I thought you’d passed out though, by the looks of things, I’m guessing that’s exactly what happened. You’re sick.”

Henry rubs at his left temple.

“I need…to sit. You…can keep talking if you want,” he says, stepping away from the door and back into the room.

Behind him, Alex scoffs and presumably comes inside. Henry hears the door close, but it feels like it’d take too much effort to turn around and confirm.

He sits on the edge of bed and wraps the covers around himself like a cocoon.

“I wanted to ask you some more stuff for the book. I just need thirty minutes more. You can go. I’ll set an alarm,” he says, fumbling around the nightstand for his phone but he soon abandons the task when he forgets what he’s searching for a moment later.

“Forget the book. Do you know what day it is?” Alex asks as he approaches his bedside.

“It’s Friday,” Henry mumbles, the comforter falling from his shoulders. 

“Okay, yeah, technically. But it’s also Opposite Day. So, I will be doing the polar opposite of everything you suggest.”

“Alex. How is that— in any way, shape, or form—different from any other day of the week for you?”

Alex grins, his nose scrunching as he does so.

“You may have lost the ability to breathe through your nose, but it’s nice to know your sass is still firmly in place.”

A wave of nausea hits Henry just then, holding him back from making another quick retort. The discomfort he feels must register on his face as Alex’s smile disappears and concern quickly takes its place instead. 

“Come on, seriously, lay down. Please let me take care of you.”

Henry’s tired body responds at once as if it’d been waiting for the command to allow him to finally give in. He settles in on his side and Alex is right there, pulling the comforter over him.

Henry’s surprised as Alex crouches beside the bed, their faces on level as he brushes damp strands from Henry’s forehead. His fingertips are soft against Henry’s skin where they lightly graze him. Alex’s eyes track the movement of his own hand, but Henry can’t look away from the other man's face, taking stock of the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones and his perfect mouth parts slightly. 

“I’ll be right back,” Alex says softly. “I’m going to find the nearest pharmacy and grab a few things for you.”

“I just need to sleep it off.”

Alex scoffs. “Christ, and I thought I was stubborn. I might’ve finally found my match.”

Those words shouldn’t have the power to make Henry’s heart leap. He chalks it up to his sickness for the temporary delusion that Alex could mean anything more. They aren’t a match, even if they’ve been proving to be compatible in virtually every regard. He’s simply not the kind of person Alex actually settles down with.

It’s far too much to think about now; perhaps even when he isn’t feeling like Death warmed over wouldn’t be the best time to attempt dissecting all his complicated feelings.

“You’re the hottest nurse I’ve ever had.”

Alex winks. “If only I’d had time to get a uniform. You’ll just have to use your imagination, sweetheart.”

“A literal interpretation of a fever dream, huh?”

Alex smiles and strokes Henry’s hair again.

“Speaking of dreams, get some sleep while I’m gone.” Henry watches Alex snag his keycard from the nightstand. “I’ll let myself in when I get back. Call if anything changes while I’m out, okay?”

Henry nods, but already his brain is starting to shut down, his eyes too.

He feels a gentle hand against his cheek and what he thinks could be lips on the crown of his head for a brief moment before sleep overtakes him.

~*~*~

When he opens his eyes again, Alex’s back is to him as he sits at the front of the bed. An episode of The Golden Girls is playing on the television and Henry thinks, surely, this fever is playing tricks on his mind.

He sits up slowly and Alex turns at once just as the show breaks for advertisements.

Alex smiles and gets to his feet, going over to the table in the room. Henry sees two tote bags there that Alex begins to unload. The haul is serious, complete with cough medicine, throat lozenges, vapor rub, and even soup and orange juice.

It warms Henry’s heart to see the care that’s gone into this, but he can’t imagine this is how anyone would want to spend a Friday night.

“You’re sweet for this, Alex, thank you,” he says, sniffling a little. He clears his throat.

“You’re going to get sick if you hang around much longer though. You should probably go. I can take it from here. Honest.”

“Do I make for such poor company that you’re giving me the boot already? I’m borderline offended.”

Henry lets out a breath, the closest thing he can muster to a laugh, and gets into bed again, pulling the covers over himself.

“Of course not. I’d just feel even worse if you caught this because of me.”

Alex brings the container of soup over and sets it on the nightstand.

“I’m from Texas. We’re built strong. And besides, I always prepare for the con circuit. At this point I’ve probably got more Airborne than blood running through my veins. I’m good and I’m staying now shh, commercials are over.”

Henry shakes his head to himself as Alex focuses back on the screen and sits beside him now on top of the covers. Henry studies his profile, the sharp angles on a still soft face.

“You must be starving by now and if you aren’t, that’s all the more reason to eat. Here, try a bit of the soup.”

Alex leans over him and grabs the circular plastic container and takes the lid off. Vapors rise from it and it hits Henry then just how hungry he really is. Alex dips a spoon inside and brings it to his lips.

“I can feed myself. I’m not a baby,” Henry protests.

“No, but you’re acting like one. Now shut up and let me take care of you, dammit,” Alex grumbles.

“Your bedside manor could use a bit more work,” Henry says, but he obliges, leaning forward and taking a sip. 

Alex’s eyes look anxious as he watches him.

“Is it good? I went with chicken noodle, a tried and true classic. But if you want something else, I could always—”

“It’s perfect, thank you. You’ve done more than enough, Alex. Seriously.”

He lets Alex coddle him and finishes the soup before taking some cold medicine and orange juice. They watch more TV though Henry doesn’t really pay attention to anything on the screen. His body feels drained again and he's glad Alex had been stubborn and insisted on staying. It’d be an even more miserable scene if he were alone.

He tucks in on Alex’s side and rests his head against his chest.

“I’m really glad you're here,” Henry says after a moment. He listens to the steady drumming of Alex’s heart as the man cards his fingers through Henry’s hair, his dull nails gently scratching against his scalp. It’s enough to lull Henry; he feels himself quickly losing the battle to fatigue all over again.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be. Get some more rest, sweetheart,” he hears Alex’s voice say quietly as he begins to drift. The final word hit Henry’s ear a bit differently. It’s not as if Alex has never said it to him before, but this time, it sounded sincerely affectionate. Romantic even.

His exhaustion and delirium must be at an all-time high and working together to make him conjure up the term of endearment Alex has never uttered in that particular tone before.

~*~*~

Columbus, OH

Day 2

“You missed the cast dinner,” Henry says almost accusatorily, setting his plate of breakfast and mug of tea down on Alex’s table the next morning in the hotel's dining hall.

“Hi, sunshine. Good morning to you too. Slept well then?” Alex replies, popping a grape into his mouth.

Henry frowns as he takes a seat.

“Alex, I’m serious. I just realized you were supposed to meet up with everyone last night.”

Alex shrugs and plucks another grape from the bunch on his plate.

“And yet the world is still spinning. The sun is still shining. It’s not a big deal. I see them all the time and you needed me more. It wasn’t a hard choice to make.”

Henry feels his face warm slightly at the sentiment. 

“You didn’t have to sacrifice your night for me.”

“It wasn’t a sacrifice. I wanted to be there for you. It’s as simple as that.”

Henry pulls out a chair and sits.

“Well, thank you. I appreciated it.”

Alex smiles. “You look good today. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Me too. Considering the fact that you bought up half the pharmacy, my immune system didn’t have a choice but to get itself in order. How much do I owe you?”

“And here I was thinking we finally moved past this. I’m not accepting any form of payment or payback for last night,” Alex says, spreading cream cheese on a bagel.

 Henry smiles to himself.

“You’re infuriatingly stubborn.”

“I might’ve been told that once or twice before, yes.”

Henry laughs and decides he’s better off shifting gears.

“What would you like to do today? Are any of your castmates still in town?”

Alex shakes his head.

“Nah, not for long. They had early morning flights and should be at the airport by now if they aren’t already in the skies.”

Henry bites his tongue to avoid apologizing again.

“Perhaps we could hang out then? Maybe we could get lunch or do something fun before we kiss this city goodbye too.”

Alex grabs his phone and types something into it.

“Have you ever done mini-golf before?”

Henry laughs.

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“There's an adventure park near here. Mini-golf, go karts…you in?”

“Are you an adrenaline junkie?” Henry asks, taking a sip of his tea.

Alex eyes him for a moment.

“I’m a fan of most things that get my heart racing. Surely you must know that by now.”

Henry tries and fails not to look affected. Usually Alex saves flirtatious talk like this for their lessons, when they’re in the privacy of one of their rooms.

He figures he’s overthinking it. Anyone passing by would simply think it’s an innocuous statement. Only Henry knows the deeper meaning of his words. It excites him, having this secret hiding in plain sight.

“That makes two of us then. I’m game.”

~*~*~

They unwind after a day of adventure in Alex’s room watching Crescent Valley. Alex gives Henry behind the scenes commentary on what it was like filming on the show and he takes advantage of the insights, letting his phone rest between them as they lay side by side in bed, recording all the stories so that he can add more color to the book.

Henry creates a new voice note and puts the show on pause, switching over to his running notes document.

“Can you talk to me about your journey learning about your sexuality?” he asks. “It’s such a key part to the memoir, I’d love to hear more about that.”

Alex pulls in a breath and Henry feels a bit guilty about switching gears so suddenly. In contrast to how easy it was for Alex to share on-set anecdotes, he seems unsure of where to start now.

“It used to be a distant, vague thing in my head. The first concrete period of time I can pinpoint is freshman year. I played lacrosse in high school,” Alex says. “And I was damn good.”

Henry can picture it easily, Alex in uniform, a complete rockstar on the field. He’s patient as Alex parses his thoughts.

“I’d get super competitive with guys I thought had an edge on me. I can’t really describe it. But sometimes I’d reason, if I could beat them, they’d be impressed and I’d get on their radar. I really don’t know how to explain it,” he repeats. Henry can hear the frustration. “I guess I was seeking some kind of validation. I wanted them to notice me and not just as an athlete.”

Alex sighs.

“I’ve only genuinely hooked up with one guy other than you. I’ve gotten wasted at parties in L.A before and I’ve made out with some dudes, but it was always something I could explain away like, I was drunk or just doing a bit. Messing around, you know? But then I’d think about high school and the way one of my teammates and I would kinda orbit around each other. It wasn’t…the same with him. With Liam,” Alex sighs and Henry doesn’t miss how soft Alex’s voice gets when saying his old teammates name. 

“I didn’t get that competitive streak. It was different. More real. With him, it was like we were on equal ground.”

Alex shakes his head, toying with his fingers.

“We were good friends. We’d hang out a lot after practice or games. We kind of fell into it. I almost don’t even remember how or when I noticed it for the first time, the way we’d hold each other’s gaze a little longer than was needed. Or the way we’d make excuses to casually touch either other in almost stealthy ways. I guess it doesn’t really matter. Point is, it eventually came to a head. We’d be so hopped up on adrenaline after lacrosse most times and one day, one thing led to another and the next thing I knew, we were making out in my room.”

Henry studies Alex’s profile, sees the deep furrow of his brow as if, years later, he’s still trying to understand his actions.

“The first time it happened, I thought that’d be the only time. We were both kinda spooked by it, to be honest. After he left though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it…about how much I actually liked it and wanted it again. For fuck’s sake, I got off thinking about him and our kiss that night. That was the first time I ever got off thinking about a guy.”

Alex sighs.

“I saw him the next day at practice. At first, we kept our distance in the locker room. We went out on the field with everyone else, and played our parts well. Then he showed up at my house afterwards totally unannounced and it became a recurring thing after that. If we celebrated a win or if one of us had a shitty day at practice...we’d keep seeking each other out. It was mostly always just kissing. But every now and then, we’d touch. Nothing over the top. Hell, we’d mostly just get ourselves off together. I think I was too scared to touch him like that. It would have made what we were doing too real somehow.”

Henry listens on quietly, fully present in this moment with Alex.

“We… I chalked it up to goofing around. Just boys being boys or whatever bullshit I used to convince myself it meant nothing. Liam is actually engaged now to a pretty great guy. We’ve talked since high school, you know, about everything. I thought we were just messing around, but he told me how serious it was on his end, even back then. He’d always felt different than our classmates. He always knew this truth about himself even though he was afraid to say it out loud. He genuinely liked me as more than a friend.”

Alex frowns and collects his thoughts.

“Looking back on it, I feel like such an asshole. Liam had real feelings for me and I know now that I was attracted to him, but we were in two totally different headspaces when we were hooking up. Each time, it was reaffirming something for him. He knew fully that he was gay. For me, at the time at least, it just felt like a way of getting off and having fun. He felt like an exception to everything, an anomaly. I still went out with and hooked up with girls regularly, you know. I didn’t know what it actually meant about me that I was in fact drawn to both.”

Alex runs a hand through his hair. 

“I’m glad he and I have had the chance to talk things through. And I’ve apologized to him several times, but it hardly feels like enough. I should have been more careful. I should have seen what that really was. I never meant to hurt him.”

Henry inches forward, his heart breaking as Alex looks at him with wet eyes.

“You’ve done all you can since learning the truth. It wasn’t intentional and I’m sure he knows that. Liam isn’t upset with you, right?”

Alex shakes his head.

“No, but he’d have every reason in the world to be.”

Henry places a hand on Alex’s.

“You can’t beat yourself up over this. You’ve made amends. You were just kids back then. This isn’t easy. You’ve got to give yourself some grace.”

There’s a distant look in Alex’s eyes as he blinks his tears away.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right and logically, I get that. Still, I can’t fully shake it. I can’t help but to wonder what my life would have been like if only I would have realized what it meant that I kept going back to him. Because I really wanted it with him specifically, but it felt like a one-off, like no big deal, you know? If I thought a few guys were attractive, I saw it as just having eyes and being observant. It didn’t feel like some life-altering thing. But in reality? The things I was doing with Liam, the things I wanted to do with him but didn’t have the courage to say…that was a huge turning point and I totally missed it. Sometimes, it almost feels like I was robbed. But it was my own ignorance that kept me in the dark for so long.”

Alex shrugs and looks away and Henry’s heart shatters at once.

“Anyway, that’s a conversation for me and my therapist. I won’t bore you with it any further now,” Alex laughs, but Henry can hear the pain in it. 

He stops the recording. He’s asked enough of Alex tonight.

“It’s never a bore, a bother, or a burden. You can always talk to me. Even if I weren’t tasked with writing out your life’s story, I’d want to listen. I…perhaps it’s improper, but I sincerely do consider you a dear friend, Alex.”

Alex quirks a brow.

“Given the things we’ve done to each other’s bodies, I’d say friendship is the least improper territory we’ve waded into.”

This time Henry laughs as he concedes.

“You’ve got me there,” he relents. 

Alex smiles softly and reaches for Henry’s hand. 

“I appreciate it though. The offer and…you know, you in general. You’re helping me in all sorts of ways, it’s actually kind of crazy. I don’t know if I’ve even said thank you yet, for any of it. But I am grateful for everything.”

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to know I can be useful,” Henry says, aiming for levity.

But Alex’s face is serious as he shakes his head and laces their fingers.

“It’s beyond that, Henry. You’re essential to me. I don’t ever want you to forget that.”

[tuninghearts]

The most silly Billy Voxval fluff you can write

When Vox wasn’t burning himself away in Hell’s eyes, the clock would be ticking with memories made with the other Vees. For Valentino, crawling into their shared bed was when he could finally have Vox to himself, and stay with him for as long as they wished. Silly billy Voxval fluff, taking place after Episode 2.

Valentino had known about Vox’s dream to skyrocket to fame since they first connected through a bar’s drunken atmosphere and late-night conversations. Despite his warnings about responsibility, image, and mental stability, Vox was too blinded by ambition to heed them. Now, Vox would either have a camera or a microphone shoved into his face, and the facade he tiredly tried to keep unscathed was deteriorating the more he stood in the spotlight. He wasn't a man with perfect anger management and flawless patience; he was a ticking time bomb.

From the closed bedroom door, he could hear Vox answering the last questions about his supposed new invention: Angelic Security. The pressure that he must be handling on his shoulders from having to explain to a gullible crowd a life-saving product that hasn’t and probably will never enter reality must be overwhelming him, and therefore, Valentino planned to make sure the bedroom was a safe haven for him to return to, letting him rest his overworked soul. As he was head deep in his phone, patiently waiting for Vox to arrive, all sounds halted. Camera flashes didn’t rattle against the porcelain floor anymore. All words had seemingly vanished. Then, the doorknob was twisted open. “Good evening, Vox,” Valentino chirped, as his phone was lowered onto the mattress when Vox slipped into the bedroom, fairy lights hung in their bedroom illuminating his figure when he closed the door. “How has dealing with the hysteria been for you?” “I think you know how it was.” He swirled whatever liquid was in his mug. “I had to hypnotise them because no one can learn to shut up.” “What’s that you got there?” “It’s coffee,” he takes a sip, finally catching the smell that wafts past him. “Velvette gave it to me on the way here, and I really needed it.” “Well, now that the chaos is over, let’s relax, shall we?” He pats the empty area of the bed next to him, where pillows slouched against the headboard, where the indent of Vox’s body had been erased by maids. “I’ve got just the perfect solution for you and your tired head.” “What’s better than coffee at this time?” His shoes were kicked off before his legs slid underneath the blanket, bedsheets crumpling into waves as he did. “A back massage,” Valentino smiled. “Come on, don’t overdose on caffeine. What’s a better stress reliever than your significant other?” A smile was pulled on his screen, and though it was just the corner of his lips perking upwards, it was sparkling with pure joy rather than the grin he showcased to all of Hell, coated with a thousand lies. “Okay.” “Put down that cup.” “No, I’m going to finish this before I go to sleep. I’m not waking up to cold coffee.” He takes a painfully loud sip, ripping the air in half. “Just for a couple of minutes until I’m done?” “Fine.” The mug slides onto the top of the nightstand, rattling ceramic against wood. His hand uncurled, slipping away from the handle. “I’ll finish drinking once you’re done.” “Take off all this,” Valentino tugs on his waistcoat. “Is it really necessary?” His back straightened as he sat up, jacket pulled off of his shoulders by languid claws, sleeves falling down his arms to pool into a navy mess that rests at his hips. He’s burnt out, tired, and really irritated, Valentino noted to himself. “If you want the experience to be even better, then yes.” The jacket was thrown to the other side of the room, sliding across the floor to knock into the wall. The waistcoat, bowtie, and shirt followed along its invisible path, piling on top of each other. In front of Valentino was a back that’s bare and scarred, gashes scribbled across his tender, albeit sweaty, skin. “Are we going to start?” Vox asks, words barely making it past his tongue. “Yeah, just lie down on your stomach.” “Am I allowed a pillow?” “Sure.” He took a pillow and rested it underneath where his chin ought to be before he splayed out onto the bed. “Go on.” His hand draped upon Vox’s shoulders. Warmth tickled his palms, crawling up on his fingers, as the massaging began in gentle, careful motions. His lack of experience in relaxing others made him more wary of the pressure he applied onto Vox, how much his fingers are curling into his skin, not wanting to give more cracks in his healing composure. “You need a shower,” Valentino commented, an attempt to lighten his mood. “Too lazy. I’m sleepy. Put me to sleep.” “You won’t sleep with the amount of caffeine that you just poured down your throat; you’re just lazy.” Vox laughs. Hearty, from Heaven itself. A sweet melody he loves listening to. “You know me too well.”

“How could I not know the love of my life too well?” His soft sigh in reply ricocheted inside Valentino’s chest, and he could feel his heart beating against his ribs while his hands slipped down, parallel to his spine, slowly easing the strain hammered into Vox’s muscles. “You’re surprisingly good at this,” Vox mumbled into the crevice of his pillow.

“Surprisingly? I find myself to be quite a professional at massages, thank you,” Valentino said, putting on an act of being hilariously offended.

Another laugh. “Whatever you say, but I think you’re a professional at making my day better.”

He could feel a smile start to stitch itself onto his face, gold tooth glimmering in the lights that accompany them like fireflies. “Whatever you say,” he repeated.

“You know I can’t stay for long, right? I have things I need to do. I have paperwork, I have—”

“Cancel it all, don’t be shy.”

“No, I’ve done it once today and it would look weird if I were to do it again,” He sat up, bed frame creaking, and Valentino’s hands lowered. The air conditioner blew onto his palms, frostbite infesting the remnants of the feeling of Vox’s skin on his. “I… Thank you for this. You made me happier than I was before.”

“You’re welcome.”

Vox’s hand tucked itself in Valentino’s palm, and raised it into the air. He leaned forward, and kissed his knuckle—a flower blossoming where his lips touched, entangling him in sweet nectar and delicate flower petals. “I’ll see you again tonight, okay?”

Valentino nods, as Vox takes the mug, untouched for quite some time. He hadn’t noticed that the smell of coffee was much fainter. When he pours it into his mouth, he chuckles. “It’s not as warm as before, but hey, better than being ice-cold.”

“Definitely.”

He stands up and walks to the other end of the room to pick his clothes up from the floor. “You’re right, I do need a shower. I have no time for it now, but I’ll take one after. Do you have any perfume?”

“You know I always have one wherever I go.” Pulled out from Valentino’s pocket was a perfume bottle, glass crafted to emulate crystal, topped with an aureate pump. Inside of it was a pink liquid, sloshing around when he twirled it in his fingers, almost trying to entice Vox into spraying it across his body.

Once Vox finishes adjusting his clothes on his body, wiping off any wrinkles and sprinkles of dust, the bottle is taken out of his hand, and he douses himself in its puffs until the room is enveloped with the fragrance of roses. The perfume was given back to Valentino before he walked to the door.

When the door opens to piercing lights that wash across their bedroom floor, Vox says, “Thank you, again. I’ll make sure to pay you back.”

“Hey, no need to pay me back with anything,” Valentino smiles. “We’re supposed to look out for each other, aren’t we?”

A soft hum, the beginning of a heartfelt song, before he says, “We are.”

He leaves the room, and Valentino can relax knowing that Vox is relaxed too, that he was able to spend time with him even though their moment was sliced short due to business duties and work. He hoped that when night overtakes the crimson sky, he could hold Vox in his arms for much longer, and drift off into slumber and dreams together.

[girlwithwolftatoo]

How Moon boys do when reader is bullied by their co-workers.

This lands pretty close home too (not work but school...) so before we start:

Warning: Adult bullying

Steven Grant:

*This precious sunray is always yelled by that awful woman at his work, and had learn how to keep some limits. The thing is, he notices you seem to be extremely tired everytime you come back, and sometimes you even have signs of cry on your face. Once can be comprehensible, but so often... it sets all his alarms on.

*The last straw is when you received an invitation to a costume party. Your coworkers insisted you on attending and, once you arrived... you were the only one in costume. They lied to make fun of you. You smile and pretend it was a good joke, but deep inside you're dying, so you make a phone call to Steven, asking him to pick you up and bring you a coat.

*"Is everthing alright, love?" he asks, your voice sounding a little broken "Y-yes... I just... it's a little bored here, just want to go home". Oh yes, of course he'll pick you up, but won't leave without saying a couple of words to those imbeciles.

*911 I want to report a massive murder... because Steven Grant had left no survivors after verbally dragging everyone at the place. He knows bullies are, inside, weak and insecure people who need to put down anyone else to feel better, so making them quiet take a little but not too much time.

*"One last thing, you better stuff your silly jokes and comments deep into your guts and do you deed in the bathroom, 'cause you're obviously using the wrong end to spit' em out".

Marc Spector:

*Nobody hurts you during his watch. Nobody. And once he figures out you're having bad experiences in your job he prepares to attack.

*And by attack I mean in a literal form. By this time London knows a thing or two about this white-clothed vigilante who appears during night and serves justice without bating an eye. Obviously your bullies have not idea that this ruthless man is, in fact, your man, and they're about to find out in a gross way.

*But being fair, Marc makes them a pretty normal warning. One day, he shows up by your work and just in time to find a couple of idiots making fun of you. "Hey" says this very menacing looking man to the cheerful crowd "I'm looking for (Y/N)". This is a trap, for they must point at you, confirming they were being mean to you and so, Marc takes a mental note of their faces.

*If the idea of you having this tall, dark and slightly dangerous boyfriend doesn't stop them from bothering you, they will receive a disturbing visit. In their homes while getting ready to sleep, while walking in the night, at the entrance of a club, all of them are approached by the Moon Knight who makes them shit on their pants. "I'm not a criminal!" "Harassing people for fun is a crime, fella. You know this person, (Y/N), right? I know them too, they're a good person, they don't deserve what you and your fucking little friends do to them. If I find out, and trust me, I will, that you keep bullying them, you'll regret it pretty soon"

Jake Lockley:

*He doesn't play nice, for they don't play nice towards you. But he's more discrete, he wants revenge for everytime he had to hold you close while you cried and said you wanted to leave your work because you were sick of them.

*Our underworld guard dog knows things, and knows how to know things. He uses all his weapons, spies, contacts, tech, Khonshu's powers if needed. He places a huge trap for those motherfuckers and he enjoys every minute of it.

*For a mysterious reason, he encourages you to go to that work meeting/casual reunion. He goes with you of course, so you don't feel anxious or something... and because he has something prepared, something very special.

*Even if your coworkers act kind when Jake is around, you know they'll find a way the next morning to bother you. Time for meal is up and you sit by a table, listening some music from a smart T.V. Suddenly, the screen goes black, and before someone can go and fix it, some interesting things begin to show up...

*All the juicy gossip is there: private messages, nasty audios, awful photographs... There's no innocent soul in that room for Jake, everyone gets exposed in front of their team and bosses, and worse part is they cannot stop the leaking for the T.V goes on even after it's disconnected, and much worse, all the information is downloaded in their cellphones for everyone to see. And of course, there's a good amount of people talking shit about the bosses and other coworkers, probably a couple of infidelities, and it unleashes the war.

*While everyone is drowned in chaos, Jake takes your hand under the table, leans and gives you a soft kiss. "If you want to, we can stare until police comes" he whispers payfuly in your ear. "Oh God Jake, what have you done?" you ask, half amused, half horrified. "Served justice, mi vida... Now..." Jake reaches out and takes a wine bottle "A toast?"

[trivialbob]

All this mall walking I'm doing, a track suit and Velcro-fastened shoes may be in my future.

Today I started at Southdale. It is the nation's first indoor mall. I grew up nearby. Friends and I would bike or take a city bus to get there. The stereo store and Woolworths were my favorites.

It's not a bad place now, but like some malls these days it has low attendance. Good parking spots are plentiful.

The Apple store was the only busy place. Others were, like Bed Bath & Beyond's checking account, mostly empty.

I hate to go in and browse if I'm the only customer. Either an eager employee will want to talk to me or a sullen one will glare, thinking I could interrupt the time he or she is spending on the phone. Being lost in a light crowd is my preferred browsing experience.

Southdale isn't much of a hangout for young people. The few teens I saw mostly concentrated on their screens. Maybe the stores could have doorways that look like big iPhones, to get the kids' attention.

Having a dollar store surely isn't a good sign for a mall, nor is one that just sells candy and chips. One end of the building had a lot of vacancies. Festive signs cover windows, or clothes from other stores that are still open are displayed.

Southdale is like a 10-year-old red haired Golden Retriever, that good boy whose smiling face has turned white. I have fond memories of the mall of my youth, when it had the energy of a puppy. Now it naps a lot and has a difficult time with stairs (one of Macy's escalators was out of order). You start to wonder if it will be around next year.

The good news is that a huge athletic club repurposed a JCPenny store, and a really nice grocery store is taking over where Marshalls(?) used to be. There's still hope for the old boy.

After I walked both levels I crossed the street to the The Galleria, the mall with higher-end stores. There I had a hard time finding a parking spot.

Williams Sonoma and Crate & Barrel are awesome. A $2000 espresso has now been added to my letter to Santa. A more moderately priced martini glass also got my attention. I would have bought a pair of them, but the checkout line was too long for me for an impulse purchase.

There's a Yeti store in that mall that I hadn't seen before. That was a great place to look around. Note to young people working a first job: When a well dressed $$$ customer asks a very specific question about a $450 item it doesn't sound good to start your reply with "Uh, yeah like maybe..."

I want some new eyeglasses. Warby Parker had a few frames I liked. We'll see (hahaha). These frames look much better and not so wide in person than in this photo, I think. As I always do with glasses, I'll bring my wife with some other time for help selecting.