#but I'll definitely get a diagnosis one day

[scarlettxxtt]

Do u guys ever just ask a college friend out for lunch and then they say they have prior plans with another group of friend.

And they don't invite u and u contemplate which answer to give, either "Oh cool, can i join?" Or "Oh cool, have fun".

And u r leaning towards the latter bc if u asked to join them and their friends, u might interrupt them and make things awkward? And u definitely don't want to make things awkward for them (ur friend and their friends). But this is just speculation and u don't have the guts to confirm if that's true or not bc that would also make things awkward?

Yeah.

So I went with "Oh cool, have fun". And ur friend doesn't try to invite u, and u know this bc they said "sorry :')"

Yeah.

[meangirls-imagines]

Coachella Diaries

Description: Reader works for WWE and gets hurt during Wrestlemania, causing her to go on a months long break. She goes to Coachella Weekend 2 to support her girl.

WARNINGS: fluffy as shit, slightly suggestive at the end, reneechella (bc that's a warning itself)

Y/N stepped (as best as she could) off the plane and sighed at the California sun hitting her body. 

Her body was exhausted. Wrestlemania was the 6th and 7th, she performed both nights and unfortunately had torn a couple of ligaments in her foot. She worked through the pain and helped make Wrestlemania record breaking. She had gotten surgery on the 16th, which meant she unfortunately missed the first weekend of her girlfriend playing Coachella.

Reneè was also understandably upset, not at Y/N, but at the fact that her girlfriend had to get surgery and she couldn't be there. Luckily for Reneè, Y/N had her fellow superstars keep the blonde updated. The doctor had cleared Y/N for travel on the 18th and she landed in LAX on the morning of the 19th. 

Towa had been the one to help Y/N plan this out, picking her up from the airport. The musician smiled as Y/N hobbled towards her with her bag. "There's my favorite cripple! How's the foot?" Y/N smiled and hugged the girl. "It's definitely injured. I'll be out for a minute but honestly, I'm not mad, I need a break."

Towa laughed. "Ain't that the truth? If I have to hear Reneè freak out about every bump you take, I might've gone crazy." Y/N blushed. Reneè was always very protective of Y/N, not that her profession helped with that. The blonde loved and hated watching Y/N do her thing. Yes, Y/N looked hot but if Y/N had to take another spear from Roman Reigns or a stomp to the chest from Finn Balor, Reneè was going to commit murder. 

This new era of WWE meant the return of inter-gender wrestling, with Y/N leading the charge. She had become the inaugural WWE World Heavyweight Champion, holding it for 316 days. She had been a part of the two biggest main events of Wrestlemania history, which is where she tore the ligaments in her foot. Never the less, she persisted and opened the next night of Mania, unfortunately she lost her title but the ovation she got when she got backstage was worth it. 

She was thrilled to help Cody finish his story but also was happy that she could get a break. She saw the doctor who gave her the diagnosis and what doctor to see and she was on her way.

She had messaged Towa the night she found out and set the surprise up. 

As the two ventured out of the airport, they caught up with each other, Towa informing Y/N of her love life and what not. The two reached the SUV and began the drive from the airport to the AirBnB they were renting for the festival. During the two hour car ride, Y/N had told Towa about some backstage drama happening as the Brit ate it up.

After 2 and a half hours, they finally made it to the house. Adam had been standing outside, waiting for them as they pulled up. The man helped Y/N out of the car and gave her a hug. "There's my favorite former champ! Congrats on the run. It was a rollercoaster." Y/N smiled and hugged the man back. "Thanks Adam! It was definitely a rollercoaster! A fun one though! So, where is my girl?"

Adam laughed. "She's out in the back with everyone else, they're pregaming before we go. Are you sure you can handle going out?" Y/N nodded. "I slept on the plane ride here. Perks of using the company jet." Adam nodded as Towa met up with them, handing Y/N her bag. The trio headed inside. 

Adam and Towa headed to the back to distract everyone while Y/N slipped into the room Reneè was staying in. She took in a deep breath, breathing in the scent of Reneè. God, she missed it so much. She changed quickly, putting on the custom "Reneèchella made me gay" shirt and some shorts before getting the message from Towa to make her appearance. 

She grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed out to the backyard. The group all did a "cheers" before taking the shots provided for them. Y/N decided to speak up. "Do I get a shot too?" 

Everyone turned towards the new voice but no one turned quicker than Reneè. The blonde stood shocked at the sight of her girlfriend, boot and all, standing in front of her. "Holy fuck! Reneè ran to where Y/N was standing and hugged the girl tightly. Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's head. "Hey superstar. I've missed you." Everyone was aww-ing at the scene, some clapping. 

Reneè pulled away from the hug and pressed her lips to Y/N's, kissing her for the first time in weeks. The group cheered as the two kissed, causing Reneè to slip them off. After a minute, the two pulled away and Reneè began to scratch the back of Y/N's neck. "You're really here!" Y/N smiled and kissed her nose. "I am. Now I think it's time to have some fun." Reneè smiled and pulled Y/N over to her friends. 

The group was watching Chappell Roan absolutely kill it when fans began to notice the couple being all cute.

@y/nisthechamp: GUYS! I'M AT COACHELLA WATCHING THE QUEEN CHAPPELL ROAN AND RENEÈ AND Y/N ARE LITERALLY 10 FEET AWAY FROM ME AND THEY ARE SO CUTE!! Y/N IS HUGGING RENEÈ FROM BEHIND AND THEY ARE SINGING AND DANCING!!

@/reneerappslut23: guys. i just saw a video of reneè and y/n all cozy at coachella and my heart 🥺

@y/nfan123: just saw a video of reneè grinding on y/n while they were watching t-pain. don't know who i wanna be more...

@/reneefan253: guys. reneè cannot keep her hands off y/n. she's always rubbing her back or the back of her head or her shoulder. WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!

The group made their way back to the house, all breaking off to their respective rooms, sleepily exchanging good nights. Reneè and Y/N made their way to Reneè's room. The two flopped on the bed, Reneè snuggling into Y/N's side. "I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait for you to see me perform." Y/N kissed the blonde's forehead. "Me too baby."

The next day was a lot of the same, more musicians sets, more drinking, etc. Sunday came a lot faster than Y/N expected and she found herself sitting in Reneè's trailer with her, the girl getting ready for her set. Reneè was looking on her phone as her hairstylist finished up her look. Y/N decided to take a stealthy picture and post it on her insta with the caption "coachella ready", tagging Reneè. 

Comments started flooding in immediately. One that stood out to Y/N was from her not older sister Liv Morgan.

@/yaonlylivvonce: We are so excited to see her!! Drinks after?

Y/N smiled and responded to the girl. Adam poked his head in and informed Reneè she had five minutes. The blonde thanked him, took a deep breath and pulled Y/N with her to the wings of the stage. To Y/N and Reneè's surprise, Alyah was waiting for them. Reneè squealed, wrapping Alyah in a tight hug. Y/N smiled at the pair and took a picture of them hugging. Alyah pulled away and hugged Y/N too, scolding her about her injury and how she should've been more careful. 

Reneè saved Y/N by pulling her away from Alyah, wrapping her arms around Y/N's waist and burying her face in her neck. Y/N rubbed the blonde's back. "You're gonna do amazing out there Reneè. Please remember to drink water though. Don't need you passing out on stage." Reneè chuckled as she heard her intro being played. 

"Well, I guess that's me." Reneè pulled her head out of Y/N's neck, leaning up for a kiss. "I love you." Y/N smiled and pecked Reneè's lips. "I love you more. Now go kill it." And with a playful smack on the butt, Reneè went out on stage.

"Tasted the blood in my mouth, and left you there to bleed out.."

Y/N being there must have flipped a switch in Reneè because the girl was putting on a SHOW. Y/N had to keep herself from drooling watching her girlfriend do what she loved. Y/N's fav part do far had to be the Willow ass shake. For scientific reasons, of course. Y/N saw Towa getting her in-ears put in and grabbing her guitar. "Go kill it out there, Birdie." Towa winked playfully at Y/N and went out on her cue from the blonde. 

The two were soon joined by Coco Jones as they performed "Tummy Hurts". Y/N smiled at hoe happy her girl looked. Watching Reneè perform was Y/N's favorite thing to do. She loved how confident Reneè was on stage and how carefree she looked. 

After a beautiful rendition of "Snow Angel", Reneè gave her thanks to the crowd and jogged off stage. One of the crew guys poured a little bit of water on the back of Renee's neck, to cool her off, as the girl walked straight into Y/N's open arms, almost collapsing in the embrace.

"Fuck Reneè, I'm so fucking proud of you, superstar." Reneè blushed and hid her face in Y/N's neck. "I couldn't have done it without you here." Y/N laughed and kissed the blonde's temple. "You did it last weekend." Reneè pulled away from Y/N's neck and smiled at her. "Yeah, but it wasn't as fun." Y/N rolled her eyes and kissed Reneè, unaware of Towa taking a picture of them. 

Everyone praised Reneè and her performance before they walked back to the area where her trailer was. Alyah spoke up. "So, what's the plan now?" Reneè smirked and looked at Y/N. "Well, Y/N and I are going to go back to the house to...catch up and we'll meet you guys later?" Towa and Alyah shared a knowing look before nodding and going to watch another set. 

Y/N looked at Reneè confused. "Catch up?" The blonde nodded. "Mhhm. I'm planning on reclaiming my favorite seat..." Y/N caught on and blushed, allowing the blonde to pull her to the car waiting for them.

Yeah, Towa and Alyah would be fine on their own for a while...

[holmsister]

I think one of the things Dungeon Meshi is definitely about is how different people deal with being an outsider/marginalised/neurodivergent/what have you and basically what im getting at is that Kabru is TEXTBOOK "high functioning [insert diagnosis here]". Its that how they say it still? Don't care.

Basically. This man shows up and you listens to him talk and see how his party treats him and you think. Oh this is a cool guy who has his shit together. And then after like two pages you find out that he has constant flashbacks to Utaya that make him completely freeze, anxiety attacks, thought spirals, is incapable of analyzing his own feelings, is a stuttering mess when the stakes are high, has never done a chore in his life, keeps putting himself in triggering situations and re-traumatising himself, and the icing on the cake is when you read the extra material and it turns out he regularly forgets to eat and lives in a depression nest of dirty clothes and self-medicates insomnia with alcohol and also is 22. Which also kind of puts Misilril not wanting to let him go in another light - yeah for sure she's controlling and infantilising and also its not like she was really helping his issues but also she was not entirely wrong in her judgement. This man does NOT know how to take care of himself. He knows how to do the bare minimum so when he shows up at work the next day he can fool his coworkers into thinking hes got it together enough. For a bit.

He is DEEPLY unwell and he knows it but he is carried by the desperate wish to avoid another catastrophe. If he stops for a moment he KNOWS he'll collapse so he doesn't.

I also think this is why him acting nurse to Mithrun is such an important part of his arc. Its like. This person who has spent all of his adult life focused on a single objective disregarding everything else is faced with what happens when you do that for too long. And the result is a wet tissue of a creature who looks like he doesn't know where he is most of the time.

He is a man on the brink. I have no doubt he felt relieved when he decided he could trust Laios - not even in a Labru way, straight up because he knew he could not keep going like this.

But also like. Of all the characters in the manga, I think Senshi and Kabru are the most lonely ones. Except Senshi seems to be OK with solitude - for sure it's not entirely healthy to be alone for as long as he was but he definitely did well enough. He is very good at taking care of himself. Meanwhile Kabru *knows* a lot of people but can you really say he has friends? Rin, maybe, arguably, but even she does not seem to truly know him, you know? He keeps himself hidden from everyone. I think the only time we see him entirely honest is when he says to Laios that he wanted to be his friend, and hes so shocked when it comes out, you can tell he did not mean to say it. And differently from Senshi, he does NOT fare well alone. He likes people, he needs people. Again compare with Mithrun - he has like a squad of people taking care of him. If Kabru had a breakdown of that size can you say his party would go out of its way to help? Im not sure. Not because they're bad people, but because he's simply not that intimate with any of them.

Idk man it just struck me all of a sudden. Laios is weird and offputting and doesn't care about other humans the way Kabru does and YET he is infinitely more successful at building deep, meaningful relationships and taking care of himself as well. I think this is part of why Kabru is so fascinated with him as well. He can tell Laios has something he doesn't have. Wait this is turning into a whole another post I'll write this next time.

[1-ker0sene-1]

God your blog is fucking SCRUMPTIOUS. If you’re willing could you do something with a reader who has POTS? Much love ❤️

{Thank you so much ♥️ Apologies this took so long! Requests are starting to come out again! I lost all my drafts due to my laptop breaking and had to rewrite 🥹}

Gaz

Honest to god. This man would probably be the absolute best partner for someone with POTS. Whether he was there for your diagnosis or you already had it when you started dating, he wants to help and accommodate the best he can. Kyle would hate for you to feel isolated, trying to match and normalize your routine so you're not alone.

Definitely got you both massive water bottles, the ones that have at the very least sixty ounces. So you can keep drinking and sipping all day and stay hydrated. If you don't feel comfortable going out to a physical therapist? Kyle is researching ALL night how to do gentle therapy at home with you.

Taking care of you is second nature to him. He's constantly thinking about you. When he leaves for deployment he has small meals already prepped in the fridge for you, cleaned the whole house.. leaves sweet notes all over the place reminding you to drink water, get some electrolytes, cool off and get plenty of rest.

"I'll be home soon baby ~K"

"Don't forget to drink your water! Love you pretty girl ~K"

"Rest for me lovie, we'll be doing plenty of 'exercise' when I get back ;) ~K"

Price

Prepared. That is what John is. He wants to be ready if you have a bad day, so he can pamper you as much as he physically can if he cannot immediately whisk away your pain. John definitely moves fast in a relationship, especially if he feels an immediate connection. You're telling him he can take care of you? Of course it's not that he likes that you struggle with the condition, but his love language is definitely acts of service.

" 's no trouble love, house feels empty when you aren't in it anyways. Might as well just stay full time."

You're moving in. He's installing a nice and sturdy shower bench, he's got snacks all around the house for you, he's mixing electrolyte powder in your water. John wants you to thrive more than anything, you're his girl, going to be his wife one day. He still wants you to feel and be independent, if you need he'll go with you to get a mobility aid so you can comfortably go out more.

He's set in his military ways so.. He's somewhat blunt with scheduling. Little reminders all day to drink your water with a kiss to your forehead. When you go out together, he's stashed some instant cold packs and little salt packets in your bag. John often lifts your hand to check your BPM tracker, once he's done he'll kiss your knuckles.

"Look at that darlin' .. Takin' care of yourself so well for me."

Soap

Johnny had quite the habit of being a bit lazy when home from deployment. But then you wandered into his life, he didn't know about your POTS at first. Just figured you also had a busy life and preferred nights in for dates. Then you got more serious in your relationship and opened up to him about your condition. It was an immediate flip of a switch, Johnny became your Johnny.

He wants you to be able to spend your energy doing the things you love, not the simple tasks, especially when he can take care of it. You practically gained a Scottish housewife. He'll shoo you softly away from the dishes, insisting you enjoy your hobbies or rest up so you two can have a nice day out. Laundry, cleaning, making the bed. Bathing you even though you're perfectly capable, definitely not to touch you and get a little handsy-

"I can take care of ye bonnie.. believe me tha more I do the more I fall for ye."

Would say the only somewhat struggle, is overheating at night. Cause you cannot tell me this man doesn't run hot like a heater. And he loves to love you, hold you, touch and feel you. But there's work arounds, a nice AC, and cooling blankets. Besides he sleeps like a rock so once he's out, if you get too hot you can give him a little push off you. Rarely he'll wake up and drawl out whines.

"..miss ye lass.. my arms are useless without ye in them.."

Ghost

Simon never thought of himself as a worrier. He's been through hell and back and not much phases him. But the first time he saw you faint nearly sent him to an early grave, threw whatever was in his hands to dart over to catch you. This was definitely before he really started to understand the seriousness of POTS. Now it's constantly on his mind, especially the moments in the day when he's not right there with you.

He doesn't want you to feel guilty about his panic, so he's pretty stoic and calm when face to face with you. Definitely goes in with you to every doctor's appointment now, asks questions, how he can help, what to do during your flare ups. You best believe he is taking everything your doctor suggests to heart. Buying you a BPM monitor, knowing Simon he'll probably figure a way to connect it to his phone. So even when he's not with you he knows a little about how you're doing. Statistically it's his most used app now. Once in a while you get a blunt-

"Go rest."

-text from Simon as soon as it gets too high for his liking.

Simon is very adamant that you take plenty of breaks throughout the day, if you're overexerting yourself he's right there with you. An arm winding around you, kissing the nape of your neck after gently brushing your hair aside.

"How you feelin' doll? Let's get you some water and we'll take a break for a while yeah? Put on that show you like and I'll take care of this.."

[schizopositivity]

Something that bothers me is the way schizophrenia is so much more than psychosis but non schizospec people only see it as psychosis. Every day in the schizophrenia subreddit there’s like five people describing symptoms of psychosis and asking if they have schizophrenia. And everyone has to tell them that, for the millionth time, we can’t diagnose you and we can’t tell if you have schizophrenia if you don’t share any other symptoms.

I think there’s a conversation to be had about how non schizospec people boil schizophrenia and other similar disorders down to the “scariest” parts and ignore all the other experiences and symptoms….

Oh definitely. I have that in my ask box pretty regularly tbh, and I don't want to shame anyone, but I really can't diagnose people or help them get access to a diagnosis.

And yeah people really need to learn the large difference between having psychotic symptoms, (something that could be temporary, could be not severe enough to qualify for any disorder, could be part of another disorder, could be stress induced, could be drug induced, could be caused by sleep deprivation, could be trauma induced, and many other possibilities) vs having the diagnosis of schizophrenia (which is a lifelong severe and persistent mental illness with many more symptoms besides the psychotic ones).

If anyone is curious about their own psychotic symptoms please do research about different causes and forms of psychosis. As well as research about schizophrenia, specifically the negative and cognitive symptoms.

I've said it before I'll say it again, psychotic symptoms =/= schizophrenia. There is much more to schizophrenia than what most people uneducated about the disorder know.

[starchaserwrites]

@jegulus-microfic / february 7: star / word count: 502

The last thing James remembers is walking towards the exit of the burning building, after entering for the last time to make sure no one was still inside, when suddenly a sharp pain in his head leaves him seeing stars and then blacking out. Later he will learn that just as he was about to reach the emergency door, part of the structure of the building collapsed and some of the debris fell on him, and that he probably wouldn't be alive if Remus hadn't gone to his rescue, but the important thing now is that there is too much light preventing him from opening his eyes. 

"Doctor, he's starting to wake up," a nurse (probably) says. He really got hurt this time, didn't he?

A new set of footsteps can be heard moving across the room and stopping near him. As James tries to rub his eyes, he notices the cast on his arm and moans; this is not the first time he has suffered a fracture and he knows how long it takes to recover. He ends up rubbing both his eyes with his left hand.

"Mr Potter, can you hear me?" a clear, deep voice asks him.

"Yes," he replies in a hoarse voice. James slowly opens his eyes and sees the doctor.

Oh, he's fucked.

"Do you know where you are?" the doctor asks without looking up from the file in his hands.

"If how beautiful you are is an indicator of anything, then this must be heaven and you must be an angel," and when their eyes meet, James has no doubt about what he's said.

"Your concussion must be worse than I originally expected." Dr Black (according to his badge) stares at him for a long moment.

"Why? Because I think you're beautiful?" 

And listen, Regulus has had patients flirt with him before, but never in his life has he wanted to flirt back so badly. But he is a professional, so he explains the diagnosis to James with a slight blush on his face.

"So you will definitely be fine, just make sure you take your medication and get plenty of rest and the healing process will go smoothly."

"Thank you, Dr Black."

"I'll need to see you again in a week to check on your progress, so please follow my instructions on how to take care of yourself."

"Yes, of course. Doctor, I know I may be overstepping, but can I have your number? Only for medical reasons, I promise!" Regulus seems to be fighting an internal battle for a minute.

"Sure, but only for medical reasons," he finally answers, emphasising the word medical. 

James clearly ends up using the number for more than just medical reasons, but Regulus knew (wished) that this would happen.

Eventually James learns that Regulus was named after a star, and now he tries to be extra careful at work so that he doesn't end up seeing stars, and can see his star at the end of the day.

[respectthepetty]

10 QL Girls I Want Carnally

Because @twig-tea hit me with the tag in their 10 QL People I Want Carnally list sprinkled with women as @negrowhat requested, let me slide up in here to show some appreciation for only the ladies because the amount of GLs we have leaves me thirsty, and these women look like a beautiful stream in the dusty desert.

Honorable Mention - Namtan's Characters [Pluto]

I don't understand the plot of this upcoming series. Namtan is playing twins and one or both of them love May (played by Film). Full disclosure here, I don't give a fuck about the plot because I'm going to watch it regardless. I'm always showing up for Namtan (and Film and Clize). When I'm being offered beautiful women in a GL plot, I do not question the gifts God bestows on me.

Honorable Mention - Jung One [She's Makes My Heart Flutter]

Fucking Korea and its short ass shows! I only had this precious babygirl for one hour, and I would murder for her. I would treat her so well that she would never feel nervous about another thing in her whole life. She is like Jim from Moonlight Chicken, just trying to help her niece and run her bar, but I'll be like Wen and WORK FOR FREE because that's how much I want to be in her bed warming her up at night. Money ain't the only way to pay me for my services.

Hydration Station

Maya & Rose [Laws of Attraction]

Choke me. Maya AND Rose are my ideal throuple with me being the third. Silvy had me hot and bothered in her scenes with Joong and New in The Warp Effect (bisexual reawakening), and Organ had me hot for mommy in Never Let Me Go, so Laws of Attraction giving me both in a Be Gay, Do Crime plot was heaven sent. Watching them manipulate and beat up men, knowing they were going home to each other is the energy I need from all my GL plots.

Yuna [Semantic Error]

She rides a bike and has beanies for every occasion. She'd let me wear her hoodies. She'd let me wear her beanies. She let me ride her bike. She'd let me ride her. Her entire demeanor lets me know what's up without her even having to open her mouth, and I've already signed up for a two-month subscription before I even approach her. Whatever she wants to do, I'm down whenever including going down wherever.

Tee [GAP]

Let me say this with my full chest "FUCK, SAM!" If I was Mon, as soon as Tee would've asked my name, it would have been "Sam, who?" because TEE COULD GET IT! I'd let Tee fuck me in front of all her friends and God on that table. Tee's game was unmatched. No hate to Sam being inexperienced, but Tee obviously knew thangs and was more than willing to share her knowledge, anytime, any day, anyway. *bites knuckles*

Phai [My Dear Gangster Oppa]

I don't fuck with cops. But . . . girl definitely knows how to use handcuffs. And the way she always told Muffin to shut up did things to my sacral chakra that told me that even though I don't fuck with the police, I would 100%, without a doubt, fuck the police(woman).

Proud [7 Project]

This is going to be a theme in this list because I don't just want Proud from 7 Project, who deserved so much better than that horrible story. I want Samantha, the person who played Proud. Sammy has been in everything for a solid decade now. She deserves the lead already, and I deserve to watch her and those beautiful lips of hers make out with another girl again! 2024, do me and my girl right.

Luna [Sleep with Me]

She has problems sleeping. Like an actual medical diagnosis. Not even trying to take away from the seriousness of her condition but . . . I've heard intensive physical activity is good for sleep. I'd be more than willing to test this scientific theory out by fucking all night long. It couldn't be just once though. In order to prove a theory, we'd have to do it a couple of times. I'm great at pulling all-nighters and being an enthusiastic participant for *science*

Cher [GAP]

GAP gave me so many beautiful women, and all of them were mean to Sam. Blessed. But my favorite Mean Girl was Cher. I had her for only a few seconds, but I would leave my SO on vacation if I saw her walking through the resort. Her AND her girlfriend could get it. Call me. Beep me. If you wanna reach me.

Ray [Club Friday]

This bitch was crazy. And I. Loved. It. But playing crazy is apparently what this actress does best.

As Ray, she was wildin' out trying to have a baby between her husband, her husband's boyfriend, and her ex-girlfriend, and as Anthika in Midnight Museum, she was wildin' out trying to resurrect the savior. And you know what? I would proudly stand next to her and commit queer wrongs every day instead of demanding she come to her senses if it meant she was making me come every night. Ooookay.

Mayris [The Sign]

Is she open to a two-night stand with a girl? I don't know, but I'm sure the hell gonna try to persuade her.

Ink [Bad Buddy]

There is a reason everyone loved her in that show. In Magic of Zero, Pa was trying her damndest to get Ink to remember her, and girl, same. If I had a girl like Ink, I would be the brattiest bitch. I'd pout until she gave me all of her attention. I'd be pissy if she even looked at someone else. I'd want her all to myself and she'd have to lose her job because I'd keep her in the bed ALL DAY. Well, not the bed. We could pull a Pat and Pran and fuck on the couch, the kitchen counter, and outside after drinking.

The One to Rule Them All

Sine Inthira, the person, not the character.

I want this woman carnally. She could tell me to shut up in front of my friends and God, and I WOULD DO IT! She could say something that went against all my feminist beliefs, and I would not give one fuck. I would ruin my life for this woman. I would be peak toxic for this woman. Why The Eclipse cast her as the teacher and tried to make me feel bad for Khao's character was the rudest thing to ever happen in my bisexual existence, but I know where my heart lies because I was telling Ayan to shut the fuck up and let my beautiful angel speak.

LOOK AT HER! If y'all ever hear of an American sitting in a Thai jail after chasing after this woman, know that American is me because my ass will not be sane if I see her in person.

I'm only tagging one person in this list of women I want carnally.

💙Daddy💙

@dribs-and-drabbles, I'd love to know who you want helping you break in that bed after you move it in this weekend. You've been so focused on shared clothing when all I want to know is whose do you want to take off.

[tboyswagging]

Recently I have been making a kind of trans memory box of important things from my transition and as someone who lives in a fairly unsupportive environment I'm finding it really healing in a way. Like even despite it all I'm finding elements of me. I saw someone do this on Instagram a while ago so I definitely stole the idea. I'm just putting it in a random shoebox but I hope I'll look back on it one day when I'm in a better situation and further transitioned and like,, feel emotional about it. But this is what's in my memory box so far:

- my diary from 2016 which is the year I came out to everyone, it starts in May and I came out to my parents in January so I don't have their reaction but from the fact they gave me the notebook and they wrote a dedication to me which says "dear [deadname]" we can infer they are not on board (they still arent). But I've written entries about coming out to other people and talk about my life. Also I was in an abusive relationship later on in 2016 and its interesting to hear abt that bcs a lot of my memory has gone. I was in year 7 and its just crazy to think how my life has changed.

- old binder, not my very first binder bcs idk where that has gone I don't think I still have it but it's the last gc2b binder I had I've been getting spectrum since 2019 and its very stretched out bcs once I wore it for 8 consecutive days and nights (very very unadvisable). But its the longest ago binder I have so it'll have to do

- zine I was in when i was 17 that I hid from my parents bcs its Trans Themed

- my deedpoll

- letters from the GIC clinic from 2019 and 2021 (the second one telling me I have been put on the adult waiting list). I am literally nearly a year and a half on T and I still haven't got a GIC appointment it's a joke. (I started T priv but then transferred over to a nhs dr)

- First ever testosterone bottle packaging that I have stuck both my private prescription label and nhs prescription label to

I think I am gonna print out my gender dysphoria diagnosis if I ever have the opportunity (it is very funny bcs when I got diagnosed w gender dysphoria I was 3 months on T and had been identifying as trans for 7 years so i was like. Yeah no shit) and a photo of me the day I came out but I'm trying to think what other things I can put in it

[catchingbigfish]

writeblr re-introduction | catchingbigfish

hi! call me elle (she/they). i'm in my 30s, work adjacent to the legal field in my day job, and i'm studying for my MA in english! i post more about my life over at my main, @prettytothink-so, which is also the account i follow from!

i'm a david lynch obsessive, hence the url/pfp, but i love death bed: the bed that eats as much as i do blue velvet. my primary literary influences are shirley jackson, carmen maria machado, janet fitch, confessional poets, and more recently, a healthy dose of knausgaard.

i write prose & poetry with a heavy emphasis on the body, the darker sides of life, and relationships. my fiction is character-centric, driven by ensemble casts of weird and fucked up people, and characters tend to go through exquisite and grotesque things like body horror, warped and broken time, hauntings, posessions, and sex. my work is definitely 18+ and i try not to engage with minors.

i'd love to get to know other writers, esp if you write/read any of the following:

dysfunctional relationships (particularly with ensemble casts and found or of-origin families)

horror and gothic literature

body horror, nightmares, and dream logic

romance, including sex, and relationships, esp. in horror themes

i like to say i'm always open to ask + tag games, but i'm most likely to respond to an ask game than a tag! if you wanna know more about my wips, see below the cut:

click the titles for the wip intros!

conversion

status: w/ beta readers short synopsis: Rosalyn arrives to the U for her MFA in fashion-making and falls into a group of sick women artists bonded by a disputed diagnosis. She starts faking it to fit in, finds the friendships she'd always wanted, and ends up with a choice between the unthinkable and her new ride-or-die crew.

dark academia/litfic/cult novel. this project has had me in a chokehold for 18+ months and it's the most fun i've ever had writing something. stay tuned for my query journey, coming to you probably near the end of this year!

might've been, never was

status: drafting (~10%) short synopsis: Lily and her friends thought their thirties would be different. They find a way to adopt new bodies, but one of them takes it too far, and the rest have to decide whether to stop her or join in.

a satire in the same vein as conversion. currently vying with the next two WIPs for main focus while betas work through conversion. project playlist is 2 songs: teen idle and celebrity skin. the closest i'll ever come to autofiction because the idea to write "a love letter to being mentally ill in your 30s" came up when i was a teensy bit manic.

seed of the woman

status: drafting (~40%) short synopsis: A woman goes on a Christian yoga retreat hoping to return to some sense of her self. Instead, she's bitten by a snake and goes on a tour through the choices that led her here.

body horror/religious horror novella. probably actually my primary focus. nightmare/dream-logic story that's my latest attempt to write something explaining how rational and reasonable a choice it would be for a woman to choose satan over god.

the awakening re-telling

status: outlining short synopsis: The Awakening by Kate Chopin, but set it in the modern Quiverfull movement/fundamentalist Christianity circles.

i've called this the awakening x duggars but it's not really about them; i'm just obsessed with the religious theme lately

so it goes

status: hiatus, midway through second draft short synopsis: A multigenerational saga about women who see Death.

my trunk novel/magnum opus. will probably never finish. about sex, death, what we fill the void with when we let go of religion, the violence of inherited trauma, and the bridge between two states of being

[katboykirby]

Autistic Beel is very real to me personally, as an autistic person (special interest, not very expressionate, etc). I also very much agree with the Satan and Levi headcanons too.

Oh this is interesting because I don't think I've heard about an autistic! Beel HC before? Usually (in my experience anyway) it's autistic! Levi and very very occasionally autistic! Satan

Now, full disclosure that I'm not autistic myself, so any information I'm familiar with comes from research + the experiences of my irl partner, who got his autism diagnosis as an adult. (I do have ADHD and I know that there's some relation/overlap there, but I'd still trust the words and experiences of actual autistic people over my own)

And I can definitely see some aspects of autism in Beel! Like you said, he doesn't tend to show much of any particularly strong emotions, at least not openly or on the surface - he tends to keep a fairly flat expression (and his usual frown could be interpreted as the classic neurodivergent "resting bitch face" aha) and his voice clips reflect this as well - he's definitely not as affective as say, Mammon or Asmo! Beel is a lot more quiet than his brothers, on average. He's not really very emotive or expressive outside of specific or extreme situations. Although, I don't tend to go for the romantic options with him or read his personal Devilgram stories all that often (since I'm a Satanfucker) but I'm aware that he's usually more emotive in romantic moments with MC, or when things get tense/dramatic with his family.

Speaking of which, something that we do occasionally see is Beel losing his temper and becoming very angry - to the point that he loses control of himself and goes on rampages. The most significant examples of this in the main story would be Lessons 4 and 5 of the original game, when he flies into a rage over some custard and ends up destroying half of MC's room; and the whole plotline in Nightbringer revolving around Beel's rampage at the royal castle that almost resulted in Diavolo having to lock him up because of how much destruction he caused. I know that "autism rage" is pretty negatively stereotyped (unfairly so, in my opinion) but anger is definitely a real struggle for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders

The whole food thing is definitely interesting in this context as well (and I assume this is what you meant by "special interest?" Lmk if I'm wrong) because Beel is the complete opposite of the common autism stereotypes when it comes to food! We often see the idea of autistic individuals having a very limited scope of foods that they actually enjoy, because things like texture, flavour, and sensation are all very different and experienced in a different way than neurotypicals. Autistic individuals are stereotyped as "picky eaters" because it's common for them to have very specific "safe foods" and/or not enjoy very many exotic or strong flavours. Beel definitely does not have a problem with this, lmao. And we know that his love/obsession with all foods isn't something that came about just when he was made the Avatar of Gluttony, since he was a big food lover as an angel as well (though his eating habits, admittedly, weren't as extreme back then.) Interestingly, a lot of research shows that people with autism are more likely to struggle with binge eating disorder, which has some intriguing implications for Beelzebub 👀

It's entirely possible that exercise & working out and/or sports like Fangol could be special interests for him as well! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Beel has mentioned or alluded to feeling restless if he doesn't get at least one workout in every day, like he doesn't feel that his day is "complete" if he hasn't done his exercise routines. This could suggest that he experiences the common autism symptoms around adherence to routines and inflexibility when it comes to changing up his usual habits and activities 🤔

This reply has actually become pretty long, so I'll just stop myself here before I get carried away even further 😅

Overall, I think that there's definitely merit to autistic! Beel HCs, and I'm sure that people who are actually autistic and/or are big fans of Beel himself (and who would have read far more of his in-game content than I have, like his Devilgrams) would be able to go into even more detail than I have!

[stvnszlr]

HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons

Pls i promise i'll be good this year.

oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision

THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime

☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )

please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)

ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )

people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him

vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing

i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation

he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen

also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face

drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity

hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again

very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him

um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??

didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?

part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them

this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !

it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .

this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go

easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares

drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else

UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .

rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(

i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :( 

[ben-marco]

feel free to delete or not answer, i dont expect a therapy session in response to this ask and i definitely dont ask with hopes of getting a free diagnosis of ramcoa trauma online

do you have any tips for trying not to feel like im lying to myself whenever flashbacks and memories / emotions / etc of possible ramcoa trauma pop up? theres no external confirmation about anything, like our parent/s not remembering us going away for a couple days for example despite us remembering being away from them for days at a time and i feel like im going bonkers 💀

This is a tough one for many survivors of OEA (and for many survivors of abuse in general, honestly). Know that you are certainly not the only one.

What helped me was knowing that when memories like that bubble up, it's likely because a part felt safe to share them with me. If I had entrusted someone with such sensitive information, it would be very upsetting to me if they responded with "That's not real, you must be lying!" But...it can often be easier to respond with disbelief than it is to respond with patience and comfort. I get it.

When memories come up, even if I as a host/ANP don't necessarily immediately believe them, I try my best to keep my kneejerk disbelief to myself. I thank the part for sharing them ("I understand this must have been very difficult for you to share with me. That must have taken a lot of courage. Thank you for sharing" or some variation) and then, if I'm in a position to do so, I try to engage in something that's grounding or stabilizing, and I ask inside if anyone needs anything or if they would like to join me in getting grounded together. Sometimes I get a response (sometimes the response is from the part who shared the memory) and sometimes I don't, but either way I try to take a moment to do something that makes me feel grounded and safe and present. And just like I thanked the part, I also tell them that we are safe now, and things are different these days.

What matters here, in the moment, is not necessarily whether a memory is true, false, or anything in-between. What matters is that a part has entrusted you with that memory and needs to feel safe. Sorting out what's true or false can come later, and a trauma-informed professional may even tell you that it doesn't matter as much whether it's true or false as much as it matters that you are suffering from it. Whether a distressing memory is "real" or not, you still remember it and you still experience distress from it. That is what matters.

I know it's difficult and painful to deal with being handed these memories but really the most important thing you can do is take a deep breath, thank that part for sharing, and then do something that reinforces the fact that you are safe now.

In the front of my journal, I've written down a few communication questions that I like to use during flashbacks or when I'm "sent" memories by EPs or traumaholders. I am not always able to use them, but I've found them helpful for the events when I can use them. I'll leave them, and some other resources, under the cut.

Communication questions for flashbacks. When asking these, I find it's important not to take an interrogatory tone-- remember, you don't want the part to think they're in trouble for sharing with you. If I can't ask these questions in the moment, I also find it helpful to reflect on them after the fact.

"Is there a reason I'm being shown this flashback? Is someone sending this to me?"

"What are you trying to communicate?"

Is someone else in a flashback and got close to front?" (If so, grounding is extra important here)

"Do you feel unsafe about something else happening in our life?"

"Is this your way of reminding me we aren't supposed to tell anyone?"

"Are you trying to keep me from doing something? Why are you afraid of me doing that?"

"Did something trigger you that I don't know about?"

"Did someone inside order you to share this memory with me? You are not in trouble. I want to talk to them, not you."

"Are you feeling ignored? Are there other ways you could get my attention without re-traumatizing me?"

"Are you oriented to the present? I know it's 2024 (or the present year), but do you? How can we work on getting grounded together?"

"Am I being reprimanded? Can it be shared with me what I did wrong? Let's talk this over."

Of course these can be added to or changed as you see fit. They are from this article by Beauty After Bruises and I've been copying them into my journals for years. You may find other parts of the article helpful as well, as it discusses grounding techniques and other flashback coping tools.

The CTAD Clinic's YouTube channel might also be helpful, and if you'd like to make a grounding box or learn about making one, MultiplicityAndMe has a wonderful video about that.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Emily Prentiss X Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau X Autistic Teen Reader

Request: hiii! could i request one where the reader is the child (they/them pronouns please!) of JJ and Emily and they're autistic and have a meltdown and jemily helps them through it? preferably the reader being an older teen. thank youuu :))

Third person pov...

It was Y/N Jareau-Prentiss first day at their new high school, the 16 year old was nervous to start the new year in a new classroom, with a new teacher and completely new classmates.

JJ and Emily knowing their child gets overwhelmed a lot with things like this met their child's teacher before hand and explained to him how Y/N is autistic and gets overwhelmed easily and will need support.

The teacher was happy to accommodate which helped relax the mothers, at 7am Emily woke up and turned off her alarm she then, shook her wife awake, the blonde woman groaned and turned away making her wife sigh.

Emily then yawned and kisses her wife on the cheek before getting out from the warm covers and wonders into wake-up Y/N, currently the 16 year old was asleep, they hadn't slept well because of how nervous they were for the new school year.

Emily smiles and gently wakes them up, being a light sleeper Y/N wakes up when she shakes them, they give their Mum and sleepy smile. "Good morning honey" she smiled; "Mum" yawns the teen stretching.

Emily smiles and places their clothes on their bed to get dressed in. "you ger dressed honey, I'll go wake Momma up again" says the black haired woman before leaving, the 16 year old then gets up out of bed and into their clothes.

This is their routine in the morning, their Mums wakes them up at 7, then they get dressed and have breakfast downstairs. Since finding out their kid was autistic the two women spent every waking moment researching to help understand their child and listen to them.

While Y/N was getting dressed Emily walked back into her room to wake up her sleeping wife, JJ had definitely fallen back to sleep making her wife sigh, suddenly an idea forms.

Emily walks back into her childs room and devious grin on her face. "hey N/N wanna wake up mum with me?" she askes the kid, Y/N sees the look on her face and grins. "Definitely" "okayy lets go!" Yells Emily.

The two then run to Emily and JJS room grins on their faces, Y/N peaks their head in and sees their Mum still asleep with a pillow over her head.

Emily and Y/N grin evilly before jumping onto the bed shaking JJ effectively awake. The blonde woman groans at the assault on her sleep but smiles at her family none the less.

"Morning guys" she grins at the duo on her bed, they grin identical grins back. "Time to get up I suppose" she questions, "yet sleepy head, come on N/N let's makes breakfast" Says Emily, the mother and Teen then run of to the kitchen leaving the blonde behind to get dressed and wake up.

Hours later the family of three are getting out of the car outside Y/Ns high school, the Teen was nervously flapping their hands (stimming) and swaying as they wait for their parents to get out of the car.

JJ and Emily soon get out and lock the car, they stand beside their obviously anxious child. The teen breathes in and out before bringing their hands to rest by their sides but still flapping them.

They look up at their parents faces before the trio begin walking towards the office, as they stepped foot onto the busy grounds Y/N felt overstimulated, their ears hurt and flight or fight response where telling them to run.

But then it was quiet, JJ patted her childs shoulder she had put their ear defenders on, she noticed the early signs of a meltdown before the teenager did, sighing sofly Y/N felt better not as overwhelmed but it was still there.

For the past couple of years the teen had been homeschooled as they couldn't deal with school, the bullies and the people. For them it was too loud too crowded, which why their Uncle Spencer suggested they get her a diagnosis and of course the genius was right Y/N was autistic, since then they have been learning about having an Autistic child and helping to understand their child a lot more.

As they continue walking Y/N could feel it coming - the creeping sensation of overwhelming anxiety that had been slowly building up all day. Despite their best efforts at controlling their emotions, the feeling of rising panic was too much, and tears began to roll down their cheeks.

As this was happening they made it to the office, JJ speaks to the receptionists asking where the sensory room is, Emily comforts their child, the receptionist spots Y/Ns state and quickly showed them.

Once they were alone Y/N sunk to the floor curling in on themselves, realising it was a meltdown JJ and Emily quickly they jumped into action, JJ gathered her child up in a hug, providing pressure.

while Emily stood protectively by their side, though her leg was pressed against Y/Ns back so they new she was still there.

JJ was almost the more affectionate one while Emily didn't do physical touch but had her owns ways of helping. "shh shh its okay N/N" "its okay Mum is here and so is Mumma" "yeah don't worry kid we wont leave you" the two woman whisper to their distressed child.

With soft words of encouragement and pressure JJ strokes Y/Ns hair and back. They reminded the teen of the things they enjoy and talking about their special interests and the strategies Spencer had taught them for dealing with anxiety and meltdowns.

For the next half hour or so, Y/Ns parents gently guided the H/C teen through their meltdown. They reassured them and tried to look at things from their perspective so that they could gain new insight and understanding. They also gave her new ways to handle her emotions, slowly, very slowly, the feeling of panic began to subside and everything that was overwhelming them before stopped.

Y/Ns breathing evened out, and they were able to start taking in their surroundings again. JJ and Emily stayed close, offering words of support and reassurance once they had fully clamed down Y/N took of their headphones and looked at at their Mums and smiled.

"thank you" the teen mumbled, earning them a smile and hug from their parents making them feel better instantly.

The end!

Hope you liked this so sorry for the wait ive been super busy at college my art class has been super busy working on projects.

Requests are open!

Word count: 1155

[mx-lamour]

On and off, I claim I'm not actually trans. It's not an imposter thing so much as a fog of potential definitions and maybe the intent behind them.

Once upon a time, I assumed transness was binary. Back when I was finally going after the hysterectomy I'd wanted since age twelve, my doctor asked me if I was trans and I said No.

A few hours later, I realized that had been my open door. I sent my doctor a message to follow up: If I was trans... what would happen next?

It still took two years of nonsense, but that was how I got my uterus removed. Good riddance to menstrual cycles and pap smears, whyever the hell they're called that. Goodbye blood and guts, hello open schedule and a freer mind.

Since I hit puberty, people have assumed that I've been older than I was, by a good five years or so. When I hit twenty, that apparently leveled and reversed. Now I'm thirty and the other day someone told me I look eighteen. It probably won't help the guesses now I don't have breasts.

I've found the secret to eternal youth: Become a kid again.

I'm not so much trans as un-trans, in the sense that puberty put me through a big transition that I never asked for, never wanted, and then actively abhorred because the change was forced on me and none of it was comfortable.

I'm trans by diagnosis because of the physical dysphoria, trans by the umbrella of a grown girl who doesn't go by Woman and has changed her body to reflect that, trans by the way I claim multifaceted humanness and use a singular They when meeting strangers to stave off unwarranted assumptions.

But I'll tell you a secret, now that I've reclaimed my first and final form: I'm autistic.

Between the monotropism, the rife sensory sensitivities, and the unique view of what Makes Sense, of course the effects of puberty and the connotations of gender were absolutely nuts to me. That in itself could explain the dysphoria and the stubborn drive to put it right.

There's one other thing I learned early on: Sometimes your best bet is to quit.

My mom worked a job she hated for twelve years. Every day, she'd come home and complain about it. She'd tell us the shitty things that happened and how her boss was a jerk, so she could get it off her chest and go back in the next day to do it all again. I have no patience for this. I kept saying she should quit. When she finally did, I was so proud of her.

I'm a quitter. This is not to be confused with laziness, because quitting isn't easy. It cuts against the grain. It can make a lot of things a lot harder, but what I've quit is a series of broken systems. I've quit things that wouldn't fit and couldn't help me. I've quit things that made life more difficult in other ways. But I'd rather choose my battles, because at least that gives me some control over the field. Some might call it agency.

So I'm not trans, although I am. That's the thing about choosing Nonbinary, I guess. There's more than just two options: Are or Not. To hell with in-groups and outsiders. I'm a liminal thing, like childhood. Full of possibility.

[ask--eggman]

Honest questions, Eggman

Have you properly won against sonic before (excluding the incident with infinite)

And are you autistic/ gen

Well, that depends on your definition of "win." When I had a my grip on this world for 6 months, that was by far the closest I've ever gotten to sweet victory. That irritating hedgehog was beaten and imprisoned and I had it all! That's more than enough proof that I absolutely have what it takes, that counts!

It was hilarious seeing how weak and helpless my enemies were without their precious hero Sonic. If they hadn't rescued him, this world would've been forever in my hands! I would've wiped them all out, Sonic would've remained in captivity and then I would've banished him to space after I got to rub my glorious completed empire in his face!

It also proved that they're all inferior against me on their own. They need each other and have to use the embarrassing mushy "power of friendship and teamwork" stuff or the Chaos Emeralds to stand a real chance against me, one man with often nothing but the creations of my own superior genius on my side!

Besides that... No, not yet in terms of really beating him. But I've come very close many times! I've almost blown him up in space, jettisoned him from my fleet in space, crushed him, and made him eat dirt many times! And one day I will succeed and permanently claim my rightful place as this world's mighty ruler!

But having most of the planet at my mercy for that long isn't just some small easy feat to scoff at and exclude, you know! Such a brilliant accomplishment is all the proof I need! I also consider "winning" to be getting to make some of my biggest dreams a reality and I've done that twice with Eggmanland and my Interstellar Amusement Park!

A victory is a victory, no matter how short lived. And one day I'll succeed again and get what I want and next time I will keep it firmly in my gasp, permanently. I only get stronger and smarter with every defeat and it's only a matter of time! The hedgehog's days are numbered and the time for my glorious empire to rise only draws nearer!

Hmm, I don't know. I don't have a diagnosis and I've never really thought about it.

[sterlingarcher23]

An "eye-opener"

This quite literally opened her eyes... Oh, foreshadowing. Nachtigall ick hör dir trappsen.

"Let me see" (If "I hear you" while listening to the radio forshadows blind Max, the "Let me see" forshadows the opposite.)

Why? Because both Lucas & Erica are connected to the 8.

You know... Kali. The dice could have shown any other number in slow motion but it's the 8 before it's a 20 (the ElMax & Lumax patterns both equate separately to a specific number once the final verse happened: 20)

Lucas speaks directly to her inability to see and feel and he says "We're gonna get you some help". Not for the resurrection, he speaks to her condition, her loss of sight and unable to feel/been paralyzed (the dying/resurrection is addressed after this) - Some don't see her paralyzed forever but blind definitely? That is inconsequential. (Seriously, you can't just flat out say one part is probably not the case but the other is. - It's both or nothing. That's why it's in this scene.)

A supernatural genre show and you truly believe everything is going to be normal?

Blind girl...

...um, psych.

Blind girl connected to her friend - when she grabs Els hand, she pulls off her glasses.

"Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds", Neverending Story

So behind Max's clouded eyes "rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold". We still have to see this, don't we? S4 didn't gave us this.

Angel by Madonna, in its final line, says "Clouds just disappear". One shouldn't overlook this line of the song when everything else IS in the show.

And how? You know how. Brenner explained it even to us. We just misunderstood who was actually meant.

You know "taking abilities & memories".

Well she IS alive, ergo she will see another day even though it won't be her "eyes" that she'll use. It doesn't get more obvious than in this line - not only for this episode but in whole since this scene is a forshadowing of both her death and resurrection (I think there's the clock sound at the 20 minute mark?):

IF Max lives (Yes & Yes), she will SEE another day (Yes and logically Yes again! + "In your hand/s the birth of a new day"). And Lucas & Erica will get her some help as Max demanded "Let me see" via the 8. (which is btw the shape of the binoculars too)

El will be Max's eyes. Yes, I agree. Literally. This scene here is meant literal. You remember Phineas Gage? No? Go watch the scene. 😉

I'll talk about Gage in another post but there's a case of a woman that was blind after an accident. She was diagnosed with brain damage ; you know the thing Max doesn't believe is a thing...and she's right in her case. That woman wasn't blind, it was a misdiagnosis as it turned out many years later. The woman had something else... similar to Gage's symptoms but the correct diagnosis wasn't brain damage.

Max is blind...but she isn't at all. Because she'll consume. The silver cat feeds. Abilities. Memories.

The Talisman which Lucas reads from passage refers directly to Speedy. Speedy Parker whose alternate version, Parkus is a gunslinger, a knight. There's a third character with the name of Snowball (Seriously!) a blind musician who, although never directly confirmed, the protagonist of The Talisman, Jack, identifies as Speedy Parker. Snowball is extremely good in identifying other people himself even though he "can't see" - but if he is indeed Speedy, how can he be blind and be able to see at the same time? The Talisman - a healing object like the Grail - doesn't answer this oddity, it can be interpreted as a case of multiple identities/versions. However it is obvious why the Duffers chose this reference: Max is "Speedy" and therefore Snowball. That's why the "Snowball" happened. Blind yet not blind at all.

Plus: El literally removes blindness where he blinds the kids.

Oh, and about that brain thing...wait for a space walk that's been foreshadowed too when Max is introduced to the class.