#convincing deal

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[noodles-and-tea]

Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.

Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.

And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here

I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill

[bluebeesknees]

Welcome to my little✨Convince-Suguru-Challenge!✨

Help Gojo make some compelling moral arguments!!

[dailycupofcreativitea]

"So then he threw the Dragon Ball into the ocean, but luckily we had the Dragon Radar, so Bulma sent Gohan to get it, and then..." 🫠

(In other words: Trunks finally hears about Vegeta's shenanigans from the Saiyan saga to the present. But the others reassure him that Vegeta's (probably) a team player now, so it's okay!)

[hinamie]

もう一回、もう一回

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Her parents had come home with Phantom, captured and beaten in a cage. They'd taken him down to the basement, preparing to do a few hours of tests before really ripping into him to look at his insides.

With shaking hands, Jazz dialed, the call jumping around several different signals to get around the media blackout.

"Justice League hotline, what's your emergency?"

She swallowed. "My parents have kidnapped a meta kid and they're planning on experimenting on him. They're holding him down in our basement and I can't get him out."

[agentc0rn]

Love it when there's cool™ folks with extensive historical knowledge of lore and ancient lineages who have gone through losses and sought questionable ways of achieving their goals + having indirect connection to their respective beings of worship

[firehose118]

{ao3}

Tommy wasn’t lying to Hen and Karen when he said they were taking things at Evan’s pace. It’s just that Evan’s preferred pace is far from slow.

It’s like that kiss in the hospital lobby knocked any remaining nerves about Evan’s newfound bisexuality clean out of him. They’d kissed a few times in between their first and that one, but they’d all been quick, chaste things at the ends of dates; closed-mouthed and respectful. Tommy was trying not to push Evan into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. But once Evan threw open those hospital doors, the floodgates on their sex life opened as well.

Evan was all over him every chance he got—lips trailing, tongue tasting, fingers grabbing. He’d given Tommy a blowjob so good it was hard to believe that it was not only his first, but not even something he’d known he wanted a few weeks ago.

Evan was a natural. He was hungry for anything Tommy would give him; no hesitation. He’ll try anything if he thinks it might feel good.

Tommy knows Evan is experienced; far from a blushing virgin, even if he’d never gone to bed with another man before. They’d talked a lot over the last few weeks. Evan had told Tommy about ‘Buck 1.0’ and about some of his more adventurous girlfriends.

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise, really.

Within a week of the wedding, Evan is begging Tommy to fuck him. No exaggeration: begging. Mewls and whines of please Tommy please I wanna feel you I want you inside of me please I know you’ll make it so good in between wet kisses while Tommy covers Evan's body with his own.

And Tommy is only human. He’s trying to go slow, trying to be respectful because he really likes Evan, okay? Not just his body: he likes Evan. But when Evan digs his hands into Tommy's back and pouts his plush pink lips and lets his blue eyes go wide and earnest, Tommy has no choice but to give in to what they clearly both want.

And god, does he want. He wants Evan with a ferocity he hasn’t felt since he first came out, when everything was new and liberating and even the smallest touch was so goddamn good. He wants Evan so bad he can feel it in his teeth.

Jesus, okay. Fine. If Evan doesn’t think it’s too much too soon—if he’s writhing naked under Tommy’s body; spreading his legs wide and pleading for Tommy to give it to him—well, Evan is a grown man. Tommy is gonna take him at his word that he’s ready for this.

Still, he wants to be respectful. He’ll fuck him, but he’s going to be gentle about it. This is Evan’s first time. He wants to make sure Evan knows that Tommy wants him for more than a quick fuck. He wants Evan to feel good. He wants Evan to come back for seconds.

“Yeah, I’ll fuck you,” Tommy says.

Evan moans in delight and surges up for a kiss. Tommy indulges him for a moment, lets Evan kiss him tongue-first and filthy, won’t deny that it gets him so hot he starts to sweat a little, but then he pulls back.

“Settle down, sweet boy,” Tommy hears himself say. “We need to talk a little first.”

He’s never called anyone that before, but it felt so right that he can’t even be embarrassed. Especially when it makes Evan moan and wrap his legs around Tommy’s body to pull their hips flush together.

Their dicks press against each other and Evan starts leaking enough that Tommy thinks maybe Evan would want to just do this; slow down and grind together until they both come. It’s been one of Tommy’s favorite things since he first discovered it a decade ago, the first time he let a man into his bed instead of getting fucked in a bar bathroom or someone’s car.

“Okay,” Evan says into his mouth. “Let’s talk. Whatever you need.”

No, Tommy thinks, whatever you need. This is so you’re comfortable. This is so you’re prepared for what’s about to happen, because it’s very different on the receiving end, and this hole doesn’t work like the one you’re used to.

But what he says is, “Have you ever done anal before?”

Evan smiles, slow and dirty. “Oh yeah. I’ve had a few girlfriends who were into it.”

“Oh,” Tommy says, relieved. He’s not a total novice. He’ll know there needs to be lube involved, lots of stretching. “That’s good. You have some experience at least.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, that was never part of my problem coming to terms with liking guys,” Evan says like he’s the one reassuring Tommy. And then, “The first time a girl brought out a strap-on I wasn’t sure, but I’m so glad I tried it. Maybe that should’ve been a hint that I like guys too? But plenty of straight men like getting fucked by women so maybe it’s unrelated.”

Evan is babbling a little, so Tommy starts licking along his jaw to distract him while he processes what the fuck Evan just said.

Because that is not what Tommy meant when he asked if Evan had done anal before. He’d thought maybe one of Evan’s more adventurous girlfriends had asked him to fuck her ass. Maybe a hookup who knew Evan would be gentle about it. He’d never even considered the possibility that Evan had ever had anything more than a stray finger up his own ass. In Tommy’s experience, most straight guys hadn’t.

Evan has been fucked before. This isn’t new to him. He’d never kissed a guy before Tommy, never been on a date with one, but he’s been fucked. More than once, from the sound of it.

And oh god, that makes Evan's behavior make so much more sense. He's not overeager; diving head-first into something he's never done before. He's experienced. He knows exactly what he's asking for because he's had it before.

Tommy is never underestimating Evan again. He's done making assumptions. Evan is a wonder.

It hits Tommy just how different their journeys with sexuality have been. Tommy would never have been brave enough to ask a woman to fuck him; never would have been secure enough in himself to say yes if she'd offered it. He would have been terrified of what it meant if he'd liked it. He would have known, deep down, exactly why he would have.

But Evan is so open, so willing to try anything he thinks might feel good, no matter what it means about himself. He doesn't deny himself pleasure if no one is getting hurt. It took Tommy so, so long to get anywhere close to that same point. Evan comes by it naturally.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, really. But it is.

“You liked it?” Tommy asks, just to be absolutely clear.

“Tommy,” Evan says emphatically. “I love getting fucked.”

“God, you’re a fucking dream,” Tommy says, biting a mark into Evan’s neck.

“Are we good?” Evan squirms. “Are we done talking? Can I have your dick now?”

Tommy laughs a little into Evan’s skin. “Yeah, baby, we’re good. You can have anything you want.”

And Tommy finds that he really, really means it.

Within minutes, he’s got Evan gasping and moaning and fucking back onto his fingers like a pro. Because he is. Because he’s done this before and he fucking loves it. He knows what he likes and what he needs. He tells Tommy where to crook his fingers and when he’s ready for another one.

Tommy isn’t going to be able to give this up easily; won’t be able to give Evan up easily. The way Evan’s voice breaks when Tommy brushes his prostate sinks into Tommy’s bones.

The way Evan sighs and smiles, jesus, when Tommy gets his dick inside of him is almost more than Tommy can handle. He has to take a second to pull himself back from the edge just from looking at Evan’s glassy-eyed expression, nevermind the perfect feeling of his hole squeezing around Tommy’s dick like it was made for him.

Tommy groans and buries his face in Evan’s neck. He wasn’t prepared for this tonight. He’s spent weeks telling himself to manage his expectations; that this was all new to Evan so even when they got here—if they got here—it would be slow-going. Maybe he wouldn’t even make it all the way inside the first time, and that would be fine. He’d go as slow as Evan needed him to.

What he wasn’t prepared for was Evan shifting his hips up, adjusting the angle and fucking himself on Tommy’s dick when Tommy didn’t start thrusting quickly enough for his liking. He wasn’t prepared for the full-body shudder that runs through Evan when he manages to find his own prostate with Tommy’s dick.

“Tommy,” Evan moans. His skin is flushed and his lips are kiss-swollen and Tommy wants to devour him. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have his name in this beautiful man’s mouth. “You can move, please- please fuck me. Feels so good already.”

Tommy’s barely hanging on, barely keeping up, but he shakes himself off and switches gears. Evan wants to get fucked? Tommy can do that. Tommy will give him anything. As hot as it is to have Evan wriggling against him like he’s a very heavy dildo (and isn’t that something to play with later?), Tommy wants to show Evan a good time.

Tommy pulls his face out of Evan’s neck and sits back on his knees. He’d been planning on staying close to Evan to monitor for any signs of discomfort, to kiss his neck and chest and lips so that Evan felt precious and loved. But that’s not what Evan’s body is asking of him right now.

Hands spread wide from Evan’s hips back to his ass to really get a grip on him, Tommy starts thrusting hard and fast. Evan is smiling again, moaning little fucked out ah ah ahs that threaten to send Tommy into a tailspin. Fuck, this is not what he thought their first time would be like, but it’s so fucking hot.

But even now, even after every revelation he’s had tonight, Evan continues to surprise him.

“Wanna ride you,” Evan says, pushing on Tommy’s hips with his legs until Tommy pulls out and flips them.

Evan settles himself on Tommy’s hips and takes Tommy’s dick in his hand. He sinks back down onto it and fuck, he’s smiling again; eyes closed, lips parted, looking content beyond belief.

He starts really moving on top of Tommy. Evan’s thighs are strong and powerful as he lifts himself up and drops himself down. His whole body is strong; thick muscle fueled by a soft layer of fat that Tommy can’t help but dig his fingers into. This man is huge. He’s dedicated. His hands come down to rest over Tommy’s as if to encourage him to dig in deeper; to leave hand-shaped bruises on his hips. Tommy squeezes and Evan moans.

God, and the noises he makes; deep groans and long, lingering moans that echo through the loft. Tommy manages to get a few whines out of him with some well-placed thrusts. Evan is so open with everything else; it tracks that he’d make it known just how much he’s enjoying himself.

It’s so good. It’s all so good. Evan looks incredible and he knows what he’s doing. He wasn’t lying when he said he loved getting fucked: he looked blissed-out and determined. He looks like once isn’t going to be enough for him tonight, and he looks like he knows exactly what it feels like to get fucked twice in one night. Maybe more.

It’s heady. This is far from Evan's first time, but the thought that Tommy is the first to get a real dick into him is beyond intoxicating. Suddenly he’s close: very close. But he needs to watch Evan fall apart first.

He wraps his hand around Evan’s dick where it’s been bouncing against his stomach—untouched, weeping, dripping between them. Evan moans and his hips stutter, trying to find a new rhythm that allows him to fuck back onto Tommy’s dick and forward into his hand at the same time.

“Gonna come for me, sweet boy?” Tommy asks, voice low and encouraging. “Gonna show me how pretty you look coming on my cock?”

That’s all it takes. Evan throws his head back, his hips locking down as he squeezes around Tommy’s dick and comes hot and wet into his hand. For as vocal as Evan has been this whole time, he's completely silent when he comes: for a few seconds, he doesn't even breathe.

Evan looks perfect as he shudders through it. Perfect. He looks like he was made for this. His mouth is open as he gasps for breath and his muscles are flexing under his skin as he circles his hips a last few times. He’s just about glowing with exertion.

Tommy doesn’t know how he got this lucky, but he’s going to hold onto Evan with both hands for as long as he’ll let him.

It’s not a choice for Tommy to follow. He’s been on the edge since he first got inside of Evan, and the feeling of that perfect hole tightening around him has him groaning and coming harder than he has in decades.

He’s still seeing stars when Evan collapses on top of him. Tommy’s arms come up to hold him close; petting across his skin and accidentally smearing Evan’s own cum across his back.

“Fuck,” Tommy says.

It’s Evan’s turn to hide his face in Tommy’s neck. “Was that okay?” He asks, still panting. His breath is hot on Tommy’s neck.

Tommy wants to laugh. He wants to cry. Was that okay? God, the kid has no idea. No idea how good he is. No idea how earth-shatteringly hot that was. Tommy will have to work on that self-confidence. He’s gonna show Evan exactly how incredible he is. He’s gonna make him believe it.

“That was amazing,” Tommy says. “That was… fuck, it’s been years since I’ve had anything that good.”

Tommy can feel Evan’s smile where his mouth is pressed into Tommy’s neck. “Yeah?” He asks, almost shyly.

He fucked himself beautifully on Tommy’s dick and now he’s shy asking if it was up to Tommy’s standards?

“You were so good, sweet boy,” Tommy purrs.

Evan groans into Tommy’s neck and shifts his hips like he’s gearing up for round two already.

“I really like that,” Evan says.

“Which part?” Tommy asks.

“Both. All of it, fuck,” Evan mouths aimlessly at Tommy's neck. "You. I really like you."

He's slowly humping Tommy’s body, his dick twitching against Tommy’s own, but Tommy isn’t nearly young enough to be ready again yet. Neither is Evan, honestly, which makes this that much more interesting. He’s chasing pleasure that he knows isn’t going to get him anywhere, just to feel it.

If this was their first time—if this is Evan when he’s still a little shy, still in the dark about just how much Tommy wants him—Tommy knows he’s gonna have a hell of a time keeping up with him once they really get going.

Tommy is giddy at the prospect. He can’t fucking wait.

{ao3}

[zarnzarn]

The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.

But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.

When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.

"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.

"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"

"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."

Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"

"Did you sleep with my wife?"

The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.

Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.

Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-

"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"

"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."

Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"

Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."

"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.

"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"

Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"

"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."

And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.

This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.

"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."

Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-

"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."

Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.

Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"

"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.

Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.

This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.

"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.

"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."

"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.

Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.

"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.

"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."

Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.

For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.

"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"

Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"

"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.

Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"

"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.

Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."

"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.

"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.

"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"

"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.

"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.

"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"

"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"

"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-

"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"

"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"

"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"

Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."

Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.

Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.

"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.

"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.

"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.

"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.

"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.

"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.

Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.

"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.

[shanastoryteller]

Meg is the first choice, of course, but she’s not suited to this type of long term mission and they all know it. The problem is, almost none of them are. The nature of the beast, she supposes.

That’s why it ends up being her, in the end. Well, it’s almost Ruby, but there’s one thing she has that Ruby doesn’t.

How she ended up here in the first place.

She thought Clyde loved her. She thought he’d take her away, from her father and her terrible life, and so when he died too young, before he could fulfill any of his promises, she’d sold her soul to bring him back.

But he hadn’t kept a single promise. She’d died in her father’s house.

“You remember being in love, don’t you?” he asks, cruel in his callousness, which is different than his other types of cruelty. It’s all he has, shining out in a thousand different ways. “You’ll be better at faking it.”

All she does is fake it.

“Yes,” she says.

This mission gets her topside. It’s worth it for that alone.

~

She slips into a pretty blonde named Rebecca first but by the end of the day, the girl’s screaming has given her a headache, and she slips right back out. She’ll probably just think she had a bad trip.

He’d offered to arrange something for her, but she wanted to pick herself, and she’s not interested in having someone crying and moaning in the back of her mind. But it’s not like there are a lot of options.

She could kill one, of course. But she’s never – she hasn’t been topside, before. Everything she’s killed before had already been dead. So she hovers for the next week, looking for some sort of opportunity, for something she can use that’s not going to scream at her.

The day before she’s going to have to either pick someone or risk being sent back, there’s a car accident.

The girl’s heart is still and her body’s warm, blood pooling down her head, but that’s nothing she can’t fix. She settles into the body, jumpstarting the heart and can feel the skin on her head knitting back together. It’s also blessedly, thankfully silent, with her the only one inside this body. The driver who hit her is dead and people are crowding in, a crying girl pulling her free. “Anne! Anne, are you okay, oh my god, I can’t believe that happened-”

She wrinkles her nose before smoothing out her expression.

The name will have to go. She’ll say she’s reinventing herself after tragedy, or something, but she’s not going to walk around responding to Anne. That’s not her name.

Anne’s a sophomore, which isn’t ideal, but she’s beautiful and doesn’t have that many friends and barely talks to her family, so she’s actually perfect.

She’s also blonde.

She’d been blonde before too.

~

All the demons who had run these sort of missions before give her advice, tell her things that will help her. Some of their assignments had lasted months, but no one’s tried to do it for as long as she’s supposed to.

He likes smart girls.

Be confident. Be flirty. He’s shyer than he looks.

He never had a mother. He likes it when girls take care of him.

He likes to take care of girls too. He wants to feel useful.

She’d had dreams, before, of all the ways she’d could escape her father. It wasn’t common for girls to get more than a basic education, but she’d been smart. She could read and do complicated sums and enjoyed the quiet evenings when she balanced her father’s books. She’d thought she might like an advanced education, thought it could get her out of her life, but hadn’t known how to manage it.

Clyde had seemed easier. More attainable. More realistic.

She’d sold her soul for nothing in the end. She hadn’t even got the full ten years of her bargain.

She doesn’t know how much of their advice she can take.

She can be smart, but considering the school they’re at, all the girls will be smart. She hadn’t been confident or flirty, which is maybe why she’d latched onto the first boy who smiled at her. She never had a mother herself and doesn’t know to act like one.

She’s never been taken care of and doesn’t know how to do that either.

There’s no way for her to do this. She’s going to be replaced and sent back below and he’ll be angry at her and she hates hates hates when he’s angry at her, what he does to her.

“Are you okay?”

She looks up, something cold on her tongue, but falters.

He’s standing there, warm hazel eyes and long dark hair, hunching to try and make himself smaller, and a smile on his face that does nothing to hide his concern.

“Do you ever feel like,” she starts, her dead stolen heart beating too quickly, “everything is falling apart around you and you have no idea what you’re doing and like maybe your whole life is one huge mistake?”

Well, fuck. She’s definitely being replaced now.

Except Azazel’s favorite throws back his head and laughs, smile stretching into a grin. “Every day of my life, more or less.”

“How do you deal with it?” she asks, scrubbing a hand over her face.

He shrugs. “Well, my brother would say women and liquor.” He seems to realize how that sounds a moment later and he pales, “Um, not that I’m – I’m not saying, I wasn’t trying to. He’s just sort of a cad, and – I wasn’t trying to, with you, uh.”

She feels herself softening in spite of herself. “So you’re not one to apply that method yourself?”

“No,” he says firmly, eyes wide. “God, I’m just – I’m sorry. I – I’m Sam.”

“Hi Sam,” she returns, with a smile she doesn’t have to fake. “I’m Jess.”

~

She’s not supposed to fall in love with him.

She’s to worm his way to his side. She’s to keep him from running back to his family, to keep him from rebuilding the bridges he’s burned. She’s to keep him distracted and focused on her until his powers activate and then she’s to guide him into using them, to be supportive and loving and to push him straight into Azazel’s arms.

Sam loves his family so much.

He talks of his brother all the time. His father less, the emotions there more tangled, but love no less fierce.

She nudges him away from it, talks to him about how it’s normal for families to grow apart, to say that they’ll understand when he graduates, that he’ll show them they type of man that he is.

By the time he graduates, his powers will start manifesting, and he’ll avoid his family without her prodding. He knows what they’ll think of him, then, and Jess tells herself that she’s helping him. That this is for Sam’s own good.

If he’s with her, then he’s safe. His father won’t kill him while he’s safe at school. He can’t kill Sam for powers that he’ll never know about.

It’s easy to dig into the anger for his father, to use his last words to Sam as a way to hold him at her side. His brother is more difficult. Jess doesn’t do much with that, in the end, tells herself that it would be too complicated, too suspicious, and as long Dean is sticking with their father it amounts to same thing anyway.

The truth is more complicated.

His father will kill Sam if he has to.

She doesn’t think that his brother will. She thinks that maybe he’d choose to protect Sam, over their father’s wishes, over everything he’d been taught, no matter the consequences.

She fears that she and Dean have a lot in common.

She invites Sam over for holidays, makes summer plans with him, holds as much of his attention as she can manage.

She studies and makes friends and laughs and spends so much time with him, but not all of it. It has to be believable after all, has to be constant, in a way that it didn’t have to be with all the other demons sent to take care of him.

Jess lives a life that had been denied to her and tries to do what she was sent to do and does the one thing she was definitely not supposed to do, which is fall in love with Sam Winchester.

~

His brother shows up in their apartment and she knows that she’s going to lose him.

Sam tries to act angry, but she knows him too well. He’s moving around his brother like a flower following the sun and she asks him not to go, tries to find the words to keep him here, but they all get caught in her throat. If she begged, if she threw a fit, if she demanded it of him, he would stay. He’d tell his brother he’s sorry but he’d stay with her and not help him and burn their relationship for good. He loves her enough to do that for her. She knows it.

She loves him enough not to make him.

He kisses her and she knows it’ll be the last time. He doesn’t.

“What did that take, five minutes?” Azazel is right there, breath on the back of her neck, and his anger fury rage pressing down on her even closer. “Over three years at his side and you lost him in five minutes. What a waste.”

“I kept him for over three years,” she says, tries to keep her voice steady, but knows she fails.

She had him for over three years.

“Not good enough,” he whispers, lips on the shell of her ear. “Guess I’ll have to send Meg in after all.”

Pain erupts hot across her stomach and her screams mix with his laughter.

~

Love always burns her in the end.

[elilelibeli]

When Regulus starts dating James, Barty and Evan are super iffy with him. They are like complaint machines thinking James is this judgy goody two shoes guy. So one time James is hanging out with them alone so he can “win them over” but Barty and Evan have this secret agenda to mess with James and scare him or wtv.

So they take him to get drugs, they are thinking that James will get scared to meet their dealer who has face scars and always grumbles and doesn’t say two words to them. Barty and Evan are intimidated by him, but at the same time they have a huge crush on the dude cause he is scary and quiet and fucking hot. So they say to James something like “if you get weed from this super scary dealer you will prove to us that you are not some uptight softy” James is super intimidated at first but then he overhears Barty and Evan saying how The Wolf will scare James and The Wolf this and The Wolf that so James knows exactly who they are meeting, but he shuts up to win against Barty and Evan in their own game.

So they go to meet the infamous Wolf and Barty and Evan stay behind so James can go and meet the scary guy alone. When they see the Wolf approaching with his usual grumbling they snigger and wait for the show.

But instead of usual, cold and intimidating interactions they see the big and scary Wolf fucking smile.

“Oh Jamie (Jamie?? What the fuck?) what are you doing here, I thought I was meeting the blond kid and his weird boyfriend.(boyfriend?? What the hell?)”

“Oh Hi Moons (Moons??? For gods sake what the fuck is going on? how does James know this guy?), yeah the weeds for them, just asked me to get it for them, some kind of test I think, they are Reg’s friends.”

“Oh fuck Sirius is going to kill me, his baby brother’s best friends are my best clients.”

“Well, he will love the new bike you paid with their money tho.” (Fuck even Regulus’s brother knows this guy????)

As Barty and Evan look back and forth at Moons (?) and Jamie (????) hugging (???????) and each others dumbfounded faces, they realize that James is not a goody two shoes, he definitely isn’t what they thought and they will definitely be getting on well with him and his super hot, weed dealing, weird nickname having friends.

[mochinomnoms]

Post-jadeGetsLaid scenario where yuu is just straddling his lap and handfeeding him food in-between kisses while brushing his hair with their fingers like a good future spouse and jade is just in domestic bliss. Just a soft moment that slowly leads to equally as soft smut because lo and behold. Yuu has been grinding on him for the past 10 minutes and saying shit like "How many kids do you want?" "Promise you'll come home to me everyday when we're married. Ok?" And it's Doing Things ™ to him

🦩

me reading this ask:

Doing this to him??? THIS ASK IS DOING THINGS TO ME OML

Jade is living in bliss as Yuu sits on his lap, pressing the most chaste kisses possible as their hips grind into him, making him grasp at them like they're his last reason for living. Maybe they are, with the way they're murmuring sweet words, asking him questions like “Do you think we'll live in the sea or on land? I don't care as long as I'm with you.”

There's a lump in his throat as Yuu gently scratches into Jade's scalp, brushing his black strand away from his face. They're cooing, “You're so pretty Jade, I'm going to have the prettiest husband to ever exist, you know?”

A few more sweet whispers, gasps, soft moans and he is slowly losing his resolve. Jade would be positive that this was a dream if it didn't feel so real. Even if it was, it was nice to not pine and just give in to his affections with no remorse.

The straw that broke the eel's back however were these very three questions, one asked right after the other: “Do you want a big family, Jade? Do you think you can give me twins, or maybe even triplets, on the first try? If you can, I promise you can knock me up as many times as you want, do you wanna do that Jade~”

Jade grabbed them by the waist, pushing them down into the bed as he hovered over them, grinding his dick into them with a grin and ever so slightly feral gleam in his eye.

“Is that so? Well then, we better get to work. I'm not one to disappoint, especially if you're promising to make me at daddy~ Let's aim for twins, I want to see how quickly I can give you another set after our first two.”

[teamcapwasrightandishouldsayit]

i will say, if dropout/sam reich did not intend for there to be an overarching story in game changer s6, they did a terrible job.

the introduction of samuel dalton (the show's first ever Lore) followed by a season trailer with sam in a mirror maze, and then he looks at his hands every time he introduces himself, and then deja vu (arguably the closest to Lore we've gotten since escape the greenroom) is interspersed with home video from sam's childhood, and then the season finale is a game about pretending to be someone else?

not to mention zam (the puppet sam) and the russian nesting doll sams, and the season art/cover/whatever you want to call being sam in many pieces and many sams in different places, which combined with the other stuff really implies there is more than one sam at play here

like, if they really didn't mean for any of this to mean anything, this is a truly incredible series of coincidences

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

you know, as an asexual who still enjoys viewing sexual content in like books fanfiction and films and things, it's all fun and games until I remember that people actually DO THOSE THINGS?? LIKE IN REAL LIFE?? REGULARLY??🧍🏻‍♂️like WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEX ISNT A FANFICTION TROPE??? 😭 crazy out here man

[puppetmaster13u]

So Anyway I Started Another Cryptid Batfam Au

Yeaah, they were human, and might've been the first vigilantes before the JL formed. Might've gotten caught by some mad scientist cultists. Might've gotten gene spliced a bit, but shhh. Don't worry about it :) They're fine. Absolutely Fine. This is Fine.

But anyway, they have wings now. And talons. And a lot of other things they have to adjust to and might straight up not have a civilian identity for a while- becomes more than a bit of social recluses while they figure this shit out.

So anyway, I haven't finished drawing or designing them, if I ever will, so have what each is based off of. There's a lot of robins. :) Also have how old everyone is at the start of the story. (Timelines are a fake thing that never make sense)

Bruce- Black Drongo (31 years old)

Kate- Scarlet Robin (31 years old)

Barbara- Red Backed Scrub Robin (16 years old)

Dick- Blue Fronted Robin (15 year old)

Cass- Hooded Robin (12 years old)

Jason- Red Capped Robin (12 years old)

Steph- Pink Robin (10 years old)

Tim- Collared Bush Robin (10 years old)

Duke- White Starred Robin (10 years old)

Damian- Olive Backed Forest Robin (8 years old)

Jarro- Rose Robin (4 year old equivalent)

Terry- Black Robin (4 years old)

Helena- Bagobo Robin (1 year old)

Matt- Norfolk Robin (1 year old)