#does it cause an immense pain of a different form

[boughkeeperdain]

Consider Jason Todd winter soldier au

Just consider it

The resurrection goes mostly the same, what with digging himself out of his own grave and canon seems to proceed as normal (with alight changes to the actions/motives of the league of assassins) up until the events of under the red hood

The red hood comes to gotham and is just significantly less talkative than he was originally. Word spreads about a new crime boss in the arra so obviously batman goes to check it out. There's less stuff targeted at Bruce himself but still enough.

The confrontation goes mostly the same, Bruce and Jason on a rooftop in the rain. The cowl comes off. Bruce has his suspicions about who is under the mask but nothing concrete up until that point.

"Let's make it even," the red hood reaches up to his helmet and unlatches it. Leaving only a boy in his domino mask, face now being soaked by the rain that is pouring. Black hair falling down the sides of his face.

"Jason..."

"Who the hell is Jason," there's nothing behind his eyes. No unchecked rage, no intentional apathy, no lingering fondness for the man who took him in. Nothing.

Bruce then proceeds to break a teeny bit there and everything is disrupted. There was never an attack on Tim because as opposed to canon Jason at this time, the pit madness is held at bay for the brainwashing (conditioning?)

[thicctails]

I C R A V E more gbc au stuff: particularly with Bill: were the twins aware of Bill before gravity falls? what do they tell the twins about bill once they get there? how does bill and his parents even go about reconnecting?? I want to know more about the direct aftermath of the reunion. It's not hard to piece together Bill and Fords relationship from the journals: did they read into it the wrong direction or smth? Like Bill fucking traumatized Ford: Euclid and Scalene's estranged long lost son fucking severly traumatized and manipulated a realtive of their adoptive kids: there's gotta be more complex feelings there? Does Bill blame them for his medical trauma? do Scalene and Euclid regret that? did they have differing opinions on it back when? also like, now Bill is legit insane: what with him having been percieved insane or a ticking time bomb of insanity before how do they feel about that? do they have differeing opinions?????

FNSKJDFNSDKJ DSI C R A V E MORE FERERJSNJKFDNFKE

PLEASE FEED MEEEEE

Ask and ye shall r e c e i v e

Both Scalene and Euclid were under the impression that Bill died when Euclidea inevitably collapsed in on itself. They told Dipper and Mabel that they had a child, but never went into much detail, as it hurt too much to talk about.

(You can imagine how fucking gutted they were when they saw images of him all around the Shack. Journal 3 was just a big fat gob of salt in their open wounds)

Reconnecting for them is like a healing an infected wound: you have to cut out the rot, grit your teeth for the burn of cleaning it out, work to keep the infection away, and accept the fact that there will be a scar.

Bill is so fundamentally broken and mentally unwell that not even the Axolotl can really fix him. The best he can do is help Bill get to a point where he can begin again in a different form. But getting to that point is the real trouble. It's rotten work, a path laden with pain and suffering and hurt feelings, but it's the only option worth fighting for.

Scalene and Euclid feel immense guilt for the mistakes they made raising Bill. They allowed themselves to be pressured into trying to make their gifted son normal, and everyone they ever loved and then some ended up paying the price. Bill may have started the fire, but their misguided good intentions handed him the match.

Bill himself is a whirlwind of emotions. He is unexplainably relieved that his parents are alive, but that also means that he can no longer possess a false bravado and pretend he intentionally slaughtered his entire dimension. His past is red and blue and in his face, and the voices have only gotten louder since he saw his mother's heartbroken face. Not only that, but they have, in his eye, replaced him with two of the people destined to destroy him! They look at Shooting Star and Pinetree with all the fondness they used to look at him with, and it makes his insides burn.

They also are constantly setting off each other's triggers, like some kind of sick oroborus of trauma. Bill's powers often manifest as pyrokinesis, which isn't great when your parents are still living with the horrific injuries caused by said fire. On the other side of the coin, Euclid has been soothing the twins with gentle TV static since they were little, since his preferred method of manifestation is screen-based technology, (whereas Scalene prefers music and books) which has caused Bill to spiral into a violent panic attack more than once.

As for Ford... well, neither Cipher parent is fond of him, as i've stated, but while they don't know the entire story of how his and Bill's time together was, they know enough to know that it ended in violence and misery, and they are not so heartless that they do not feel pity for the man and disgust towards their son's actions. They make it very clear to their eldest, when they can stand to speak to each other, that he is to never possess another member of the Pines family.

He only breaks that promise once, though it was for a good reason. Gideon needed a good beat down, and Pine Tree was too hurt to make that jump without help.

[thefirstknife]

i unironically hope Eris stays in her Hive form at least physically bc im already loving how both her & Immaru are pointing out Ikora's (and humanity's) inherent dehumanization of the Hive.

Eris being all "If this form does not leave will you still view me as a friend?"

Immaru when asked where the Experiment Subjects come from and responding with "Don't act like you care."

Honestly, it's so good. I really love the Eris stuff and some of these questions being posed. A lot of people react negatively to Eris doing this, forgetting that Eris has already been part-Hive for a long time. She was just hiding it behind the eye cover.

Technically, nothing inherently changed about Eris; she just embraced that part of her. And that's super important for her arc I think because she's been on a journey of accepting her trauma and her losses for a very long time. We helped her face her fears and traumas in Shadowkeep and she came out of it victorious. And the story never treated it as her traumas being gone; she still has them, but she has the means to tackle them and handle them and live with them. Since we helped her, she became more open and more involved with what we do to save our home, even if it meant tackling dangerous things.

And the thing is, now that her traumas cannot be exploited by Darkness anymore, she's capable of involving herself in these things, knowing that she has friends to fall back to and a support system and better mental fortitude. We've seen it through her endurance beneath the Pyramid on Io, and her grasp of stasis, and her dealing with the Crown of Sorrow and egregore and the Lunar Pyramid nightmares. And now with her embracing her Hive self. It doesn't change anything about her, but people prefer when she hides it so they don't have to see it. And she knows it (Sororicide lore book, page 1):

It's a perfect example of how we inherently view the Hive as untrustworthy. Obviously, there are good reasons for it! The Hive have caused immense pain and trauma to pretty much everyone in the universe, Eris included. It must take an incredible strength of character to embrace the fact that you're physically half-Hive, creatures that traumatised you in the first place. No one else has dealt with anything similar so naturally they're afraid for Eris. But I believe in her strength. And so does Drifter and Drifter is never wrong:

He'd read the reports. He saw the theories on VanNet. He didn't trust them. He trusted her.

There's a cutscene that people skip and can cause people not to see it, I recommend replaying the thing on a different character or seeing it online, but it shows Eris taking off her bandage in front of us:

It's such a powerful image to me. A symbol of her taking off her mask. Not pretending to be the same as us anymore. Because she isn't! The Hive are a part of her and have been for centuries. And she's always been in control. Our mistrust has always hurt her, but before this, we could act with pity towards her. Now that she's fully in Hive form, people's perception of her changed, for really no good reason other than prejudice. She is still Eris.

I definitely think that eventually we will have to reconcile with the idea of the Hive not being inherently evil in totality as a whole group of people. Obviously this is going to be difficult, especially when their leaders act the way they do, but eventually I do believe we will have to accept some of them, even if it's only Eris for a start.

[worrywrite]

A "small" summarization of the lyctoral process in the locked tomb series. Warning, spoilers and theories.

The term "lyctor" is used primarily to describe a person who has completed a certain necromantic transformation in a partnership which dramatically increases their power. However, by the end of Nona we can distinguish three distinct varieties of this process which I will hereby call "lysis" (not to be confused with the medical term of the same name from which this is derived). I will be calling these types of lysis "mutually consumptive lysis", "subordinating lysis", and "mutually destructive lysis". Each type has explicit descriptors, differences, and poetic meaning within the text of the books. I will discuss these in order.

Mutually Consumptive Lysis

Mutually consumptive lysis, sometimes called "perfect [lysis]", is the process undergone by John. John's description of his experiences and this process are hardly detailed and so much is left to speculation. What remains clear is that, like other lysis processes, there is a degree of most of the processes in common (again, John's descriptions leave most up to interpretation so I may be missing some) with other forms of lysis. First step is preservation, both parties (to some degree) are exposed to a preserving power; in John's case this seems to be exposure to experimental cryo fluid due to rushed R&D on the cryo project (implied). Analysis, not necessarily of the two parties but of the connection between them and natural feeling of the connection and what power it grants or is desired through it; in John's case this is likely the deep connection he has with several of the cadavers in his lab and the deep personal drive he is implied to have with Gaia that motivates his work. Transference in this case is hypothetically a mutual process but may be one sided, as it involves the utilization of the power from one or both partners in the process by the other; in the case of John and Gaia this was likely John utilizing the power of Gaia's suffering to gain necromantic abilities and Gaia's influence over John that guides his political agenda. Fixation and incorporation are part of the same step of rapid death and consumption; consumption both literal and metaphorical in this way set this lysis apart from others in particular, as John literally spilled his body into the earth and ate the earth in turn. The consummation step is a sort of marriage where each party in the process levels with the other, elevating of diminishing both parties to equal station; John becoming a "god" and Gaia becoming human (Alecto). Consummation and reconstruction are more or less simultaneous here, as far as we can tell, because the power disparity between Gaia and John was great enough that both had to be at least in part reconstructed to disperse the immense power of Gaia. The final step is a continued effect of the process in which both parties hypothetically take and give to the other; while John takes greatly from Alecto it is unclear what Alecto takes from John, though it is likely a portion of his humanity.

Poetically this process is suited specifically for John and Gaia/Alecto alone. They both shared a sort of mutual obsession with punishing humanity, as they both expressed a significant vindictive pain near the end of the planet's natural life. This pain caused Gaia to reach out and understand why they were being destroyed and to seek retribution on their destroyer while John sought power to deliver retribution on those he deemed as the destroyers and the selfish. This mutual obsession causes both John and Gaia to consume each other literally and metaphorically. Gaia consuming John furthers his vindictive campaign against the FTL project and strips away his humanity and leads to his acceleration if the planet's destruction. John's consumption of Gaia does much the same but also grants him inhuman abilities which causes him to take on an inhuman role and commit acts of murder and violence on individuals and populations. This mutual consumption results in John and Alecto being the last two remaining beings on a planetary corpse, their desire for vengeance leaving them essentially alone with their enablers.

This form of lysis is, hypothetically the most potent. However, it also has the potential to be the weakest. It creates an equilibrium between two individuals, weakening or strengthening either until they are at the same level. When performed as John and Gaia did this, it gives John immense power because Gaia was extraordinarily powerful and weakens Gaia a great deal. However, had this been performed by two individuals of roughly equal power it would result in a lyctor of average power or weaker. It is entirely possible that the process undergone by Anastasia and Samael was the actual mutually consumptive lysis (perhaps without the cannibalism, but who knows) with their failure resulting from their relatively diminutive power or other factors they were unable to replicate due to the unique relationship between John and Gaia/Alecto. It is possible that only two necromancers make take part in this process, as Alecto seems capable of at least some necromantic abilities in her human (from what little has been seen) form and seems to have granted John his necromantic abilities as Gaia.

Subordinating Lysis

Subordinating lysis is the process we know the most about and so will receive the least description. Frequently called either the eightfold word or the lyctoral mega-theorem, this process subordinates the soul of a cavalier to a necromancer and produces a lyctor of great power. This is the process undertaken by the lyctors in the book, namely the first of the saints undying and the second generation of penitents (Ianthe and Harrow). The process of subordination kills the necromancers cavalier and uses their soul as an eternal battery, grants the necromancer much of the physical expertise of the cavalier, grants the necromancer extraordinary regenerative capabilities, and expands the necromancers capacity for necromancy to the a seemingly penultimate level.

Despite the apparent replicability of this process, there are several things which can be altered while still achieving a similar or effectively the same result. Compartmentalization, for one, allows the cavaliers mind (or likely a copy of it) to live on in the subconsciousness of the necromancer; this occured with Pyrrha and G1deon--and after the death of G1deon's soul, Pyrrha (or the copy of her mind that existed in G1deon's subconscious) remained behind and inhabited G1deon's body and presumably reclaimed her soul in the process. Something appears to have gone wrong with Ianth's lysis, though this remains to be seen; she seems to refer to Naberius, her absorbed cavalier, in the present tense as though they consciously shared their lyctoral body to a degree. The combination of minds in a lyctor is common, as the abortion leaves vestiges of the cavalier, but Gideon's mind faded within Harrow's consciousness within weeks (possibly hours) while Ianthe seems to have preserved Naberius for nearly two years. While Harrow underwent elective lobotomy to preserve all remnants of Gideon she could, Ianthe seems to not have undergone such a process. Ianthe's case may be special, as stated, however she may also be manifesting symptoms of a stress induced personality disorder or other mental illness.

The poetry of the subordinating lysis varies in detail from lyctor to lyctor, but often boils down having to sacrifice the thing for which you intend to gain power for. Most necromancers share a special bond with their cavaliers which makes them hesitant to effectively kill them in order to gain power. Several of the second generation of penitents refuse lyctorhood, as they refuse to sacrifice their cavalier. It seems the only truly willing necromancers were Ianthe and one or two other original generation of lyctors. Those that are unwilling are coerced, being told that this must be done. Regardless, by undergoing this process, the necromancer becomes at once extremely powerful and also victim to John's machinations (and loneliness).

Unlike other forms of lysis, subordinating lysis may actually be reversible. However reversing the process requires an extraordinary effort and either extra steps taken early on or must be performed almost immediately.

Mutually Destructive Lysis

This process is, counterintuitively, perhaps the most positive form of lysis. There is only one example of this, Palamedes and Camilla's creation of Paul. Like mutually consumptive lysis it requires two consenting parties (which subordinating lysis does not). Unlike mutually consumptive lysis is does not constantly degrade both parties into a mutually enabling relationship. And like subordinating lysis, the process only creates one individual. However, unlike subordinating lysis, the mutual consent of both parties does reduce some of the psychological distress of lysis. Unlike either of the other forms of lysis, mutually destructive lysis kills both participating parties entirely. This is, however, seemingly a net good.

While the process of mutually destructive lysis is more or less the same as subordinating lysis, there is a key difference in that it is performed on both parties; both parties are absorbed into the resulting entity. Two souls, two bodies, two minds combined into one. This requires the physical and metaphorical death of both instigating parties.

It is unclear how powerful, comparatively, the result of mutually destructive lysis is. Such a creation may well be weaker than either other form; however, like other forms of lysis, mutually destructive lysis seems to create an individual with the memories, skills, and capabilities of both instigating persons while also creating essentially a whole new person (mind, personality, soul). It is also unclear if this process can be replicated; as Palamedes and Camilla's circumstances are unique in the lead up to the creation of Paul. Hypothetically, any two persons could undergo this process as long as at least one participant is a necromancer. because the process is mutually destructive it doesn't quite matter what the level if power and influence of either party is. It is also entirely possible that this (or a similar one) was the process that Anastasia and Samael initiated and John interceded in.

Poetically, mutually destructive lysis is a foil to mutually consumptive lysis. Whereas the mutually consumptive relationship represents possibly the worst form of a partnership (a codependent dysfunctional marriage), the mutually destructive relationship forms a hypothetical possible best case (selfless procreation). This isn't absolutely the best outcome, because that's subjective, but the creation of something new through the putting away of selfish desires is admirable. While it could be argued that John and Gaia loved each other, it was not a sort of love that is positive or healthy and their ultimate goal was destructive and selfish; and this is reflected nature is reflected in their lysis. Conversely, Palamedes had (arguably) a positive loving relationship where both parties cared for and held a shared sense of responsibility and duty to each other; and this is reflected in the nature of the lysis which they performed. It is tragic in its own way, but represents and act of love and selflessness where both parties agree to destroy themselves to preserve the memory of the other.

I've also said before that physically and psychologically merging is a profound expression of romantic love and devotion. That is a personal opinion I could back up with some evidence but this is also already a really big post.

Misc

While this post is egregiously long, I also do want to talk about the reasons I've used these terms and why Muir used the terms she did.

Mutually consumptive refers to the continued consuming of both parties power. John constantly consumes Gaia/Alecto's power and Gaia/Alecto constantly consumes John's humanity (and likely other things). The relationship is inwardly indulgent, negative for all parties, and outwardly destructive.

Subordinating refers to how the necromancer in the relationship subordinates the cavalier's soul in the relationship. It is a mechanically abusive relationship and almost always negative. It is indulgent for the necromancer, neutral (depending on the parties and consent), and destructive for the cavalier.

Mutually destructive lysis is so named because it literally destroys both consenting parties. It is the only lysis which technically involves three individuals (though I don't exactly think there's a hard limit to the number of people that can be incorporated into lysis, and I'd be very interested to know what would happen if more people were involved). It also represents the annihilation if the self, as the process is inherently selfless. Inwardly destructive, outwardly indulgent, and neutral in effect. It's about the best thing to be hoped for in a setting like The Locked Tomb.

Lysis is a term that Muir used in Nona. It is used by Palamedes, describing the process as a "grand lysis" rather than what other lyctors have done. Now this is a medical term. Primarily it refers to the breaking down of cells by dissolving the cell membrane. It can also refer to the gradual termination of a disease (through that process) or the subsiding of symptoms of a disease. It is a typically slow process by which an intrusive life force is broken down and terminated. It's clear why Muir would have Palamedes use this term, it is clinical and it describes how he feels about his position as effectively a parasite living in Camilla's body. But it is also representative of breaking down the walls that separate him from Camilla. It is the destruction of the cell membrane, the part that closes the cell off and marks it as an individual organism. This is why I have used it as well, because all of these processes involve the incorporation of a second person or soul. It is a destructive process no matter how it happens, whether that be a literal or metaphorical destruction. It also doesn't hurt that it is also a "ly" word like lyctor, which I imagine also occured to Muir.

[blues824]

Can you have the overblot boys to have a scarlet witch s/o? I haven't seen anyone does it yet. They can also defeat their overblot

Literally three requests for this, so I decided to get three birds with one stone (hehe like the Mind Stone lol). Targeted towards a female reader, but no gender-specific pronouns are used.

Spoilers for Malleus’s part.

Riddle Rosehearts

For the first few days in Twisted Wonderland, he saw how you stuck to yourself and Grim and how you avoided everyone. There really was nothing about you, so he couldn’t get to know you. However, one day the ADeuce duo was causing too much trouble and Ace in particular was trying to bother you so Riddle had beheaded them. You went out of your way to thank the Housewarden for saving you, and from then on you were kind of attached.

You, to pay your now-boyfriend back, once removed Ace’s mouth once you caught him talking trash about him. Of course, Deuce was freaked out that his peer’s mouth was now missing, but you honestly did the entire dorm a favor. IBUProfen finally lasted longer than normal because no one got a headache from Ace.

During his overblot, Riddle stood no chance against you. Your powers were too strong, and he was not expecting it. In class, you had only shown a tiny sliver of the true amount of power that you held, and thus you had the element of surprise. In the infirmary, you told him how you got your powers, and the story was just heartbreaking to hear.

Leona Kingscholar

When you stepped on his tail in the greenhouse, he was about ready to throw hands. However, he saw how absolutely terrified you looked and he felt bad out of nowhere. He was still pretty annoyed that his nap was disturbed, but he had a different priority: making sure that you were actually alright.

To learn more about you, he actually started going to classes actively. You weren’t a part of any club, and you were the Prefect to the Ramshackle Dormitory. Your ‘magic’ was very different, and he had no memory of ever hearing about a Scarlet Witch in Twisted Wonderland. In his training as a prince, he heard no tale about it.

During his overblot, he noticed how you were able to reconfigure the things he turned to dust, even if it was an actual person. Not only that, but you physically restrained him and entered his mind to make him relive his past. Being overlooked, but seeing how his nephew viewed him as the greatest ‘Unka’ ever. You even put in a message that he had done enough to prove himself, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. In the infirmary, he thanked you for helping him.

Azul Ashengrotto

Upon hearing that Ace, Deuce, and Grim had made a deal with a certain merman, you were understandably furious. However, you went to Azul and formally introduced yourself to him. By now, you were pretty confident with yourself, and so you demanded that the dumbass trio be let out of their contract. The cecaelia laughed as he explained that a deal was a deal.

However, you did not like that answer. So, you looked right into his eyes and entered his mind through your powers. In just a few seconds, he relived all of his childhood trauma, and tears were coming out of his eyes. You decided that you were done being nice, and left him to try and compose himself before the next customer came into the Lounge.

During his overblot, you proved yourself stronger than he could ever dream of being. You basically drained him of all the ink until he was in his ‘pitiful’ (his words, not mine) mer-form. In the infirmary, you told him that you were sorry for putting him through such immense pain, and together you both came up with a better system for the Mostro Lounge. Thus, you both created the point system that is implemented now.

Kalim Al-Asim

You didn’t want too many people knowing about your power for fear of people taking advantage of your abilities, and thus when you were stuck in the Scarabia dorm during the break, you did not use your magic to break out. Plus, you could see that the students were truly suffering and thus looked into it. From the start, you knew that Kalim was being controlled by Jamil. It wasn’t hard to see, considering you were also well-versed in hypnosis. The Mind Stone can do that to a person.

Because you saw this, you tried to get the Housewarden alone to try and convince him that he was being mind-controlled by his Vice Housewarden, but to no avail. There was simply no way that his best friend would betray him like that, he said as he brushed your accusation off like it was a spot of dust on his cardigan.

During Jamil’s overblot, Kalim watched as you drained the ink from his friend as well as blocked off each attack put against you. You were the one who had also gotten them out of the desert before that, so yeah. Your magic was definitely surprising to him, as he realized that you could do multiple things at once.

Jamil Viper

He was aware that his hypnosis did not work on you, and that made him panic a bit. It was his best card in the hand that he was dealt; a King card, if you will. But in the game of War, you had an Ace in your hand and your power easily topped his. You both specialized in mind fuckery, so you both went toe to toe very often during the break.

Again, you were a bit more confident with yourself now that you knew how to use your powers for good things, so you once influenced one of the Vice Housewarden’s dreams. You made him picture his younger sister Najma, tearing up as she learned about the evil things that he had been doing during his time at Night Raven College. He woke up in a cold sweat, and a small sense of regret crept up in the back of his mind.

During his overblot, you basically flew everyone out of the desert and proceeded to beat his ass without giving him a chance to get back up. In the infirmary, you apologized for hurting him to that degree, but he understood why you had to do it. He did ask if you gave him the nightmare of his sister, and you admitted to it and as an extra apology, you told him about your twin, Pietro.

Vil Schoenheit

From what he had heard from Epel, you were incredibly powerful. He had to admit that he thought about employing you to deal with his rival, but it’s an urge somewhat akin to wanting to burn your house down after a spider that you just barely looked away from disappeared. Plus, he could get arrested, and he doesn’t think that orange would be the best color to go to prison in.

That aside, you had to admit that you were very intimidated by Vil. You may be physically more powerful than him, but he had public influence. However, he did see you and your powers during each of the overblots, and Epel as mentioned before has told him about you, so he was intrigued by you and your abilities.

During his overblot, he got a firsthand taste of the true power you held within you. The feeling of all the ink leaving his body was a weird feeling, but a peaceful one. You used your powers to make him conjure an image of his father reading him bedtime stories to make him relax which made the withdrawal of ink an easier process. When he was in the infirmary, he thanked you deeply for your actions.

Idia Shroud

He has seen you fight against the overblots, and he has to say that you remind him of a character from his favorite superhero franchise: Maroon Sorceress. He had noticed that your magic seemed to be focused on the mind instead of the body like the character, which he found fascinating.

However, he could never muster up the courage to talk to you. You treated Ortho so tenderly, like a parent, and it made his heart flutter. The one time he did meet you in person, he accidentally bumped into you and you made sure that he was alright. You both were kind of shy, but you could tell that he was flustered because of how pink his hair got.

During his overblot, he tried to modify his gear to withstand your magic, but it didn’t work. Your powers were more broad than just mind trickery, and thus he was screwed either way. You did make sure that you extracted the ink from the overblot before you started attacking, but it did take a while because he wouldn’t stop going after you over and over and over again.

Malleus Draconia

Alright, so, you were more powerful than the most powerful mage (and that is not Malleus). He didn’t think it was a matter to be concerned about until he saw how scared it made you. He particularly noticed it when you had to deal with Azul. You were scared that the merman would see your abilities and put you under a contract to extort you. He had to comfort you and confirm that if anything were to happen to you, he would be there to help.

Your walks with him in the moonlight did wonders to allow both of you to wind down from the responsibilities you have to face on a day-to-day basis. This was how Malleus had fallen deeply in love with you, and you with him. He was the Vision to your Wanda, so to speak.

During his overblot, you were deeply upset that he would try and put a sleeping curse on everyone. You had trouble trying to drain him of ink because he was a powerful mage himself, but you were the Scarlet Witch and thus you had the advantage. You distracted him with images of his childhood with Lilia tossing him gently into the air and smiling. In the infirmary, he apologized for everything, and you held his hands in yours as you stated that you understood his pain.

[pascalpvnk]

glimpse of us

pairing: sarah miller & joel miller & ellie williams

summary: sarah was his sun. ellie was his moon. both equally beautiful in their own ways, one more sought out than the other in the darkness of joel’s mind.

word count: 647

warnings: angst, major major spoilers for tlou part II/season two, survivors guilt, mentions of insecurity, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of religion, possibly ooc, very open for interpretation.

a/n: joel's thoughts are italicized. i'm sorry for the pain this may cause. self beta'd, all mistakes are my own. based on 'glimpse of us' by joji. dividers by @saradika-graphics

She’s written in the walls. Swirls of pink and purple paint contrasts the similarly beige hue that matched his living room back in Austin. Joel’s eyes must’a been deceiving him. 

The remnants of a solo movie night shifted to his similar ones with his sweet girl, every one of them ending with her curled up in his lap. She would murmur in her sleep, her accent heavier than she typically allowed. 

Joel feels immense guilt for surviving this long without her. Looking down at his lap, there isn’t a mane of curls covering her beautiful face. It’s just the denim of the jeans he fell asleep in the night prior. The dark leather of his watch feels tighter on his wrist for a moment. 

His arm timidly turns. The glare of the late morning sunshine’s reflection pierces his vision. Pointed glass shards attempt to cover the battered, rusted, stilled clock hands. The battery gave out over a decade ago, but he can still hear it tick tick tick, another constant reminder of his beloved.

I’m not her, you know.

But he also feels the weighted guilt that he cannot let go and give his kiddo the father she needs. The honest, do good dad that doesn’t have to watch her from afar, doing anything in her power to be away from him. Not that he deserves more with all he’s done for himself all these years. 

Her deep greens and red splatters taint the pretty pastels on his walls. They’re not the same person, he constantly has to remind himself. The part that comes with more difficulty some nights being and that’s okay.

How can he have screwed up this bad? His first was attached to his hip, goofing around with him, gave him the time of day and then some. But she was fourteen.

He doesn’t know how to conquer mid to late teens. It doesn’t make him feel any less of a failure. Because this may be new for him, but he damn well knows this distance is abnormal. Naively, he’s still hopeful that she’ll forgive him. He’s hopeful for a second chance at what he lost rather than to accept it and move forward. 

We’re done.

Little by little, Joel’s whiskey migrates away from his coffee corner. He lets himself enjoy the natural, full boldness of his mug, lets himself live awake rather than his comforting numbness. Yet still punishing himself with the headaches he endures when his vice slips into his nightly routine instead. Failure. Failure. Failure. 

Nights when he slips back into his lost faith, kneeling and silently whispering to his fallen angel above. Begging for her guidance, her love once more.

I miss you, babygirl. 

He yearns for her wit, her sarcasm, creativity and passion used for what she loved. He finds in a different form with her, this time being used against him.

Her once genuine laughter turned to pitiful chuckles and ultimately to nothing. Multiple conversations with his sister-in-law ending with everything’s fine, it’s just a phase. But she sees him lying through his teeth, the dull heartbreak his eyes hold. Everyone does. 

Everyone witnesses his soul crumple and turn to dust in the church. Pushed away by her once more but only this time verbally. He feels the burning gazes watching his defeated form, tail between his legs as he retreats to his home, finding comfort and solidarity in his hand painted mug. Pure black coffee. He deserves to feel this weight. Deserves to stay up all night with this pain.

He expects her to yell at him once more as he sees her come into the dim light, porch rail creaking as she finds herself a spot near him, not next to him. 

“I would like to try.”

Tears flood his vision. Joel got his dying wish. Another chance to have a glimpse of her once more.

to stay up to date on when I post fics, follow @pascalpvnk-writes and turn on notifications! i hope you enjoyed xx

[thatuselesshuman]

Character Introduction: Zero

So uh in the spirit of everyone knowing what the fuck I'm ever talking about, I've decided a character Introduction was in order!

*<- will be used to mark plot details that will be explained at the end of the post

Disclaimer: Bro goes through shit

Name: Zero (originally Kian Whittaker)

Gender: Man

Sexuality: He's fallen in love with one person in his life and then got traumatized out of ever falling for someone again (within the canon time frame)

Age: 634 years old, but he looks like 2 days over 19

Appearance: emo He has chin length pitch black hair, most of it tied up in a bun for a half up half down look. His skin is pale. The top half of his face is mostly covered by a black ornate mask, but you can just see his bright white eyes. He's thin and only 5'10 (but will still kick ass). He has what looks like a black choker at first, but black tendrils spread down from it through his body that look oddly like wires.

Outfit: He wears black pants, a black cropped zip jacket (typically unzipped) with a black shirt under it, and standard issue black combat boots. The jacket and pants have white accents, and the jacket has a white X* across the back. A couple of seemingly normal swords can be seen hanging from his hips. Under his shirt, a small silver chain with two rings on it (one simply engraved and one with floral detailing) hangs.

Personality: He seems very unapproachable (purposely) but if you have a strong enough personality to push past the bullshit he's actually pretty witty and funny.

Affinity: He can control a dark energy, usually used to form 2 twin scythes. His other powers include immortality (the not dying of old age +longer time you can go without necessities kind) and the ability to sense his surroundings. No one lives long enough when confronted to learn his other two powers

Rank: Archreaper**

Public Backstory: Very little is known about Zero, as most people aren't even sure he's fully human. Only one thing is known for sure, he's old enough to rival the country itself. No one knows where he comes from or even what his face actually looks like. Some swear that he was born from shadows and the day he returns to them is the mark of the end.

Real Backstory: (pictures, cause I ain't transferring all that—read the pics from last -> first)

Other fun tidbits:

The ‘choker’ is a control device. It can cause immense unstoppable pain, prevent Zero from taking his own life, and cause every one of his muscles to seize up. It can also send poison to his brain in different doses, either making him lethargic or straight up killing him

He was born with only the whites of his eyes (no pupil or iris) so he can't see. Brother is blind if not for the sight-adjacent thing his Affinity does

*The X is the only required part of the 'uniform' for Archreapers. Archreapers must display the stars (markers of achievement/rank signifiers) they have on the back of their uniform. An X = 500 or more stars.

**Archreapers are the second highest rank in the military, the first being the general. Because of their high rank, they are allowed to wear whatever they want. There are only 9 Archreapers in service at each time, and you have to be specially selected (and exceptionally strong) to become one. After Archreapers are selected, they replace their name with whatever number they were replacing. Their old name is erased from everything and they are banned to ever go by anything other than their number, unless for a mission.

Well, that seems like that's it. If you have any questions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ASK MEEEEE WHETHER ABOUT THE CHARACTER OR THE WORLD OR IDC

v Tagging who may care v

@moltenwrites @willtheweaver @wyked-ao3 @katenewmanwrites @agirlandherquill

@the-golden-comet @finleyorion @illarian-rambling

[cliffbar-booth]

could you do a like Ken x ftm reader where the person playing with reader in the real world is trans and so Barbie-to-ken reader is having a very confusing and hard time and it’s like semi angst semi fluff cause Ken tries to understand and validate reader’s identity even tho ken is also confused cause he’s himbo but he’s a sweetie

((Maybe they try cutting readers hair and try getting readers feet to be flat like the kens ect?))

Of course! I'm super happy i actually get requests ESPECIALLY FOR KEN!1!1!1 TAGHJEEIFN

Tysm!!

Sorry if it isn't as good as you hoped, i was in immense pain while writing this 😭😭

Come On Eileen

inspiration:

warnings: cursing, slight angst, FLUFF, a teensy bit of transphobia venting

Ken stood at the front area of his newfound barbie friend's dreamhouse. Her house was different than other barbies', he'd come to notice. As he waited patiently outside for y/n barbie to come out, he thought of what to say, just so they could hang out. Y'know, since he considered them girlfriend-boyfriend.

Finally, she came out. She was gorgeous. He could've had hearts in his eyes. He probably did.

"Y/N Barbie, you're like super pretty tonight" he grinned.

Y/N grimaced a little. She appreciated the compliment but it just didn't fit. It felt out of place.

Ken grew nervous. All he thought he lived for was to make Y/N feel great. Did he do something wrong? Did he offend her? Oh dear god.

"Y/N Barbie.. What's up?"

As she led him inside her dreamhouse she explained everything. From how she wished she was like the Kens to how she hated how she looked. He was confused.

"What do you mean you hate being Barbie? You're Barbie! You're gorgeous, perfect, and my girlfriend! What's not to love?"

"Yes, but Ken, it's not because of that. It's something harder to explain.. but it's just a weird feeling. It feels almost necessary"

"But you're my girlfriend"

She sighed.

"I like like you, yes, but I don't want to be your girlfriend, Ken"

"You don't like me anymore?!" He looked petrified and heartbroken.

"No, Ken. Just listen; I still want to be with you, but I don't to be your GIRL-friend"

He frowned, thinking.

"So.. would that make us boyfriend-boyfriend?"

Y/N nodded, smiling a little now at how innocent he was.

"Yes, Ken."

"And I would refer to you as Y/N Ken?"

Y/N nodded again, smiling a little more.

"And... you'd have to have shorter hair"

"What? I- oh, yeah, yes I would"

In the blink of an eye, Ken already had scissors in his hair. Small, bright pink scissors not even made for hair. He flushed and smiled warmly, flattered by Ken's need to please. As the two head to Y/N's bathroom, he sat on the sink as Ken *tried* to work his magic, snipping off lots and lots of hair. It'd been a whopping 15 minutes before Ken pulled away, shouting triumphantly.

Y/N looked in the mirror, euphoria washing over him completely. His hair was perfectly cut short. Somehow. It looked great.

One thing was missing, however. Y/N was not flat chested. Or at least flatter chested. Ken seemed to notice, thinking again.

"should we cut those off?"

Y/N was taken aback completely.

"should we what?"

"cut them off, you know.. with like a knife.. or scissors?" He waved the scissors around with his finger.

"no no- I-" there was a tight fit cropped tank top that looked a lot like a binder. That could work. For now.

"what about that?"

"how would I cut your boobies off with a shirt??" Ken asked, extremely confused. Y/N tried to bite back a smile.

"No, Ken, I mean I could put that on"

"Oh, yeah no I knew that"

He put it on, the shirt compressing the chest just enough to be as flat as Ken. Y/N ran his fingers over his chest, feeling better than before. He looked in the mirror where he was supposed to do makeup, seeing himself in the mirror with short hair and a flat chest. Tears formed in his eyes.

Ken rushed to his side, worried.

"Did I mess your hair up? Does the thingy hurt? Did i say something bad?"

"No Ken.. I'm crying because I'm happy.. I really appreciate what you did tonight"

Ken relaxed, sighing in relief.

"Thank god."

He paused.

"Does that mean I can sleep over?"

Y/N Ken laughed softly, smiling and nodding.

credits: gif is credited, divider by pixel journal on tumblr, song by nouvelle vague, movie by greta gerwig, ken ryan gosling, idea from anon

tags:

[invertedfate]

Hey different anon here, i always thought floweys actions in the canon was supposed to be a kind of dark reflection of the players own actions, and a parallel with how WE treat video games. I never really thought it had anything to do with trauma, cause like think about it, how many players abuse save states in video games to get away with evil shit? Most of them i would wager, and if you had the power to save, load, and reset, maybe you WOULD start to treat even your own reality like a video game.

Like, is it wrong when flowey does these things when we do the same? Because to him its real but to us its just a game or is it ok for him to do so because it really IS a game.

And flowey DID say he also spared everyone, in the same sentence he said he killed everyone, implying both are things he doesnt really place value in doing, he didnt do it for fun, he did it because he got bored, and we do the exact same things in video games when we play one a bunch, we start to experiment, we start seeing how different "npcs" react to different situations, we start making challenges for ourselves, we start analyzing characters and putting way more thought into their actions then the person who wrote them probably did.

When flowey has that power taken away from him, only then does he start to change from this desensitizing and feel intense emotion like rage when you don't do what he wants, or fear when you're about to kill him, both are caused by him not being used to not being in control, he spent so long being the one who gets to "play" the world that he can't accept a world he's not the "player" in.

Another factor might be that not having a soul inhibits his ability to feel empathy, but thats just headcanon, sorry for this long tangent, i just really like flowey, favorite character in undertale, just wanted to express my thoughts since everyones talking about him.

I think from a metatextual level, Flowey 100% is meant to be a dark mirror of the player, which is likely why his full backstory is only given in geno, since at that point you're treading a similar path as him if you go all the way on that route. That being said, I don't think there's a lack of trauma. At the end of the day, the buttercup plan involved watching his best friend/sibling die, said sibling sharing control of his transformed body (which is implied to be VERY unsettling in appearance), his refusal to take a single SOUL, which led to his death, and then awakening in a new form, unable to connect to others the way he used to and assuming he was broken as a result of it. He did try to take his own life, after all, and only came back from it because he got scared and his determination brought him back. His power allowed him to avoid consequences and grow detached, of course, but there is absolutely room to read trauma as a PART of how he got to be this way. Not the sole factor, but a pretty significant one, especially if you interpret his loss of compassion as an undiagnosed PTSD symptom misunderstood due to toxic positivity culture among monsters. e.g. this idea that their souls are made of love, hope, and compassion and that makes them different/better than humans. Considering how many monsters force smiles to deal with their pain, I legit this mindset is super harmful to all monsters and they might not even realize it. Flowey is a great and complex character, and losing his abilities definitely also impacted his actions, for sure. I definitely am not a fan of the immense woobification of Asriel in the fandom, like, at all, and it's part of why this arc in IF is taking its time to do more character exploration and stuff since in UT, a lot of his depth is locked behind a route the game actively doesn't want you playing.

[lu-is-not-ok]

if you can find any way to analyze capote meursault for my gay heart i will hit you with hammers appreciatively

Brain rested, time for analysis. Since Capote is a shared E.G.O, I'm gonna analyze Ishmael alongside Meursault. It'll give us more on insight on both characters that way.

You know the drill, under the cut we go!

First, let's look at the Abnormality - Brazen Bull. From both its Observation logs and Mirror Dungeon Event, the main theme it carries is obvious - suffering. Meaningless suffering that notably can't be helped, as the heat of the bull won't let any water touch the abno.

Another thing to note is the focus on Brazen Bull's reactions to this pain. It cries out and lashes out due to this immense pain, directing its grief and rage towards everyone around it, even those who tried (and failed) to help it.

So those are the main themes we're working with. Endless, meaningless suffering, and the destructive behaviors that stem from that pain. It's also important to note that, thanks to what the abno is based on, we can also note down the themes of torture, punishment, and execution. These feel especially important for Meursault in my opinion, due to his own personal themes of being judged.

Now before I move on to specifically analyzing Capote as an E.G.O, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room. That is, the fact that the form the E.G.O takes is that of a matador, someone that by nature is the one performing the torture of a bull. I don't think it's a coincidence at all.

Since both Meursault and Ishmael take on the form of both the matador and the bull, depending on whether their E.G.O is Awakened or Corroded, I think the idea being implied here is quite clear.

The suffering they are going through is one that they, in some way, continue to perpetuate themselves.

Another thing I want to note, for Meursault especially, is the inclusion of chains in his version of Capote. I think it's important, as chains are an important symbol of how he feels about the judgement he's put through by other people, as shown by his base E.G.O. It's especially notable, as during both of his Capote attacks, he breaks through those very chains.

Now onto my favorite part - Sin Analysis!

Both Capotes are Wrath damage E.G.O. In my interpretation, Wrath as a Sin corresponds to actions done out of self-righteousness and defiance. It's when one decides something should change for the sole reason that they believe it shouldn't be this way. While this can often correlate with the feelings of anger, it's not a strict requirement.

In this case, I think Wrath perfectly encapsulates how Brazen Bull lashes out due to its pain, wishing for it to stop. Similarly, both Ishmael and Meursault could lash out due to their own suffering, perhaps seeing it as an unfair punishment towards them.

The Sin requirements for both Capote E.G.Os are Wrath, Lust, and Sloth. The main difference between the two is that Meursault's requires slightly more Sloth, while Ishmael's requires slightly more Lust.

While I already discussed what Wrath means for Capote, I think it's important to note that as a Sin requirement, Wrath encapsulates the idea of finding the suffering both Meursault and Ishmael are going through unjust, and wishing to stop it at all cost.

However, this is where the themes of Brazen Bull come up again. Its suffering, and by proxy Ishmael and Meursault's suffering, are not something that can be easily ended. It keeps going no matter what they do, which means that their attempts at ending it could be causing destruction around them like Brazen Bull's lashing out does, or perhaps they could even be furthering their own pain with their actions.

Lust as a Sin is one I connect to actions done for the sake of indulging one's desires or finding personal fulfillment. For Capote, I think this could mean several things. It could mean trying to find some sort of meaning in the suffering Ishmael and Meursault are going through. It could mean that they view the idea of being free of their suffering as nothing but a mere dream to indulge in.

With Ishmael specifically, as she requires more Lust than Meursault, I think this could imply her specific method of trying to defy her pain, that being indulging in her compulsions. Both of her attack lines relay the idea of continously moving forward - pointing in a direction in her Awakening, and desperately searching for someone in her Corrosion.

The latter dialogue line is especially telling here, in my opinion. It aligns perfectly with what is believed to be Ishmael's biggest obsession - that is searching for any other survivors of her voyage. In this case, that compulsion would be her way of trying to stop her own suffering. It doesn't actually stop it, and perhaps even makes it worse, but to Ishmael, it might just be the only thing she can do.

Sloth as a Sin is connected to inaction and actions done out of apathy. It implies resignation to one's circumstances, and when put together with Wrath, I believe it recontextulizes it quite a bit. In this case, adding Sloth to Capote paints its defiance as hollow and meaningless, as is fitting for Brazen Bull's themes.

Both Ishmael and Meursault know that their resistance is, in the end, futile. That their attempts at ending their suffering will not work. That this pain they are in is as endless as it is meaningless.

Just how Ishmael's higher Lust requirements imply that to be her main method of warding away suffering, the same can be said for Meursault and Sloth. His main way of defying pain, or perhaps numbing it, is to become apathetic to the world around him. To become complacent and not judge anyone.

I think this is what his Awakening dialogue line encapsulates that perfectly. It's an order to stop, and an ensurance that there is no escape. Likely something that Meursault has heard and/or felt quite a lot in his life.

An interesting thing to note here is Meursault's Corrosion line however. It doesn't express the complacency of Sloth, as one might expect. No, that's Wrath's defiance baby, a sign of Meursault finally lashing out and standing up for himself.

This is where we tie back to the imagery of breaking through the chains. Meursault, as he currently is, is still too apathetic and complacent to break his chains. However, Capote shows that he has the capability to stand up. To finally lash out and break out of his chains, defying his own internal matador telling him there is no escape.

It won't stop the pain he's through. It might even make it worse. But it's something Meursault will need to do eventually, for his own sake.

[bambiraptorx]

Okay, my long overdue infodump about yokai medicine/painkillers is here. Just as a heads up, there will be discussion of and reference to a variety of drugs, drug use, and addiction.

There are three main forms of treatment used to deal with pain: pharmaceutical drugs similar or identical to the ones used by humans, potions, and spells. For now, I'll focus on pharmaceutical type medications.

So, to begin, I do need to address the fact that the yokai population has an immense level of biodiversity, from skeletons to insects to dragons. This means that the use of medicine is probably incredibly complicated, as a given substance can has wildly different effects on different species--not to mention that even within a species a compound can have different results (see: stimulants and how they have drastically different effects for people with ADHD than for neurotypicals).

Add to that the fact that we also see a large variety of sizes for different yokai, from Exploding Frankie (maybe a foot tall) to the colossal building-sized creatures we see walking around int he first episode of the show, and you've got a very complex problem. (Size is relevant in figuring out dosages because drugs often have different effects at different doses, but also because larger people tend to need more to have an effect in the first place. A dose that would kill a mouse probably wouldn't kill a 6 foot tall man, for example, but depending on the exact drug it might still mess him up a lot.)

This means that it would be very difficult to, if not impossible, to properly categorize a chemical based on its effects. Sure, they know Adderall works as a stimulant and opiates are painkillers for humans, but how does that translate to a slime yokai who doesn't even have a nervous system? How do you effectively (and ethically) figure that out when the population of slime yokai is extremely limited? In all honesty, you probably don't.

(As a side note, it's fairly important that for the drugs humans use, they go through large amounts of animals trials before ever being tested on people to a) make sure the drug actually has the effect it's meant to, b) figure out what potential side effects might crop up, and c) find out what a lethal dose is. That's because we can reasonably compare the reactions of animals to what we might see in a human body. For large amounts of the yokai population, that comparison probably does not work.)

So yokai can, in dire circumstances, use substances that humans would (as painkillers, sedatives, etc) but it would be very difficult to know what dosages are safe for a given species, if any are. This would also mean that the Hidden City probably has a very different approach to drug education: less "ooh these drugs are evil and you'll get addicted immediately if you ever try them" and more "just because meth acts as a stimulant for humans doesn't mean it can't kill you at half the dose it takes them to even get an effect so be fucking careful".

I would imagine that drug regulation works very differently in the Hidden City out of necessity. After all, you can't even reliably say what effects a given chemical has, let alone recommend a dose for people to use. In a lot of cases, the best that the HC can do is probably enforce purity standards and proper labeling of products so that at the very least, people know what chemical they're actually getting and how much of it.

Which of course means that their legal system is entirely different when it comes to drug related crimes, because the use/possession of drugs is something that cannot effectively be criminalized when a pill that would cause an overdose in one person would act as a mild cough suppressant in another. (That and the whole idea behind making drugs illegal in the first place is to prevent addiction by making access harder, which... is a bit of a weird premise in the first place? but that's a whole other rant. Yes, use declines somewhat when the drug is made illegal, but it also makes it much harder for addicts to get the treatment they need when drug use is criminalized.)

Given the length of this post I think I'll cut it off here and edit with links when I get the other topics covered lmao.

Part 2 Part 3

[sashi-ya]

ᴍɪɴɪ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ > ＣＯＴＴＯＮ ＣＡＮＤＹ ＣＬＯＵＤＳ˚۰

ＳＵＮＦＬＯＷＥＲ 🌻 ＦＩＥＬＤＳ ｋｉｓｕｋｅ ｕｒａｈａｒａ ｘ ｆ！ ｒｅａｄｅｒ

4k raffle price for: @jin-supremacy01 thank so much for your participation! I hope you enjoy love!! 💖🌻 tw. nothing really. sweetest sfw ever. :3 wc. 2.2k masterlist.

Run, run throw the sunflowers field. run, and take his hand.

The waraji hitting against the ground were making him uncomfortable, so he took them off. His ashy blonde hair changes to orange with the sunset lights, his silly laughter echoes through a yellow immensity.

You reach his finger; he pulls you closer. “We don’t have these in the soul society, that’s why I stayed in the living world” he lies, of course he does.

“We don’t have you there either” you smile back, eyes fixed on his silver ones.

Kisuke pouts, he is way too intelligent to understand exactly what you were saying. Both being Shinigami, loving each other so much, but living in different realities was something that you didn’t really like. At all.

“I told you, (Name)-san. I can’t go back” he sighs. But… is Kisuke really that intelligent, after all? Were you really asking him to go back to the Seireitei, or, were you asking for something different…?

The scientist -now a “handsome, sexy young shop keeper”- pulls you closer to his chest as he stops in the middle of the sunflowers. Nuzzling on his pale exposed chest, you rest for a bit, inhaling his unique skin scent.

Allowing his arms and reiatsu to embrace, you enjoy the last hours of your free day outside the Gotei 13 facilities. He notices your sorrow, that’s the same as his.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbles, with his chin over the crown of your head, tracing circles over your back with his palm. You sometimes feel Benihime grazing your side, but you know he is just holding it in his cane form.

“It’s ok… you brought me here because you know how much I like sunflowers. Thank you” you tell him, muzzled on his pecs. You play with the hem of his musk green coloured clothes, inhaling his scent, feeling the warmth of his flesh against your lips.

Kisuke knows you aren’t happy, he really knows. He takes his hat off, and places it on your head. “Keep it. You will bring it to me whenever you come back. It’s gonna be soon, hey!” he tries to make it better for you.  

You are gonna be busy with missions while serving at the Seireitei so it’s gonna be hard -again- to go back to sleep alone in your home at the barracks.

“You sure I can take it with me?” you mumble, looking up at him with puppy eyes and pouty lips.

“Yes, and stop making that face or else I will have to kidnap you and make you my employee. You wanna sell candy all day?” he says, with pain in those last words.

You blink, why is he sad if you were to give everything away just to be with him, your Shinigami career, your zanpakuto even… “I wish…” you whisper, almost inaudibly, enough for him to imagine what you said.

Urahara meditates for a few seconds looking at how you hide under the wings of his bucket hat, and, you notice in his reaction that he has finally come up to a conclusion.

What could it be?

He walks with you in between the flowers that often look at the sun become down as the last rays of it had abandoned the day. Both sit on the back seats of his van and from there you take your time to observe the moon shining its light over the fields.

The rustling sound of the sleeping sunflowers lulls you. You place your head on his shoulder while Kisuke rounds you with his dark green haori as the night becomes a little chilly.

He plays with your hair until you finally fall asleep. The ex-captain looks at your peaceful countenance with longing. He doesn’t even know by now how old he is, but he knows he had been alive for the longest time, and, he is sure that he has never seen someone as beautiful as you.

“Is it time already? Should I-…” he whispers, stopping himself from keep talking as you snuggle closer to his body.

“mhgfh Kisuke- i- go take a bath” you mumble in your sleep, causing the shop owner to bite his lips not to laugh like an idiot.

“You give me orders even while sleeping…beautiful woman” He kisses your head and closes the door of the van, tonight you will be sleeping there…

As the first sunrays hit the field, and the flowers look straight up to the sun for energy, you both open your eyes. Your pager announces you it’s time to come back to the Soul Society, and, even if you don’t want to you simply have to.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, before touching you with the tip of his cane.

“My gigai is hungry, not me” you mumble, while rubbing an eye to shake off the sleepiness. You need to leave the fake body behind before passing the senkaimon, and so Kisuke will help you do so.

After your soul takes the body form, and the gigai fells on his arms, you look at it with jealousy. What would you give to still feel his touch on that skin.

“Sure you aren’t hungry?” he asks again, just to make sure you have enough spiritual pressure.

You nod, the shihakusho you are used to love now feels like some kind of punishment. Why… come home, please…

The delicate hands of the scientist round your waist, pulling you closer to him, as behind you the world penetration gate opens. Both are surrounded by a purest light. It’s so bright, that even the sunflowers turn to it. Or maybe they just wanted to see the sweet depiction of love in between two eternal souls.

A kiss on your lips, a kiss on your nose. A kiss on his forehead as you stand in tippy toes.

“I don’t wanna go back” you protest, with your forehead pressed against his. But your pager keeps ringing. Your captain keeps calling you, he wants you there. Kurotsuchi Taicho, or maybe Akon. Whatever the case it is, you must go.

“Go now. I promise you I will have something for you when you come back” Kisuke smiles, putting his hat back on your head. “And I told you, I want you to keep it until you came back, ok?”

You try to stop your lips from trembling, every time you have to come back it’s the same, but he has never given you his stripped bucket hat.

“uhum. uhum.” you nod repeatedly, because there is nothing you could say without bursting into tears. And after a sweet last kiss you finally turn around to pass the door.

His fingers softly let go of your wrist, one by one. Kisuke is making sure you are able to feel his spiritual pressure up until the last moment.

The black butterfly that gets out, sounds like a jingle bell, and before the light totally engulfs you he smiles and mouths “I love you, please come back”

You count the days. It’s not a lot, but it’s not just a week. You fulfil your investigation duties with utmost care, helping the Shinigami Research and Development Institute to keep the Seireitei working and safe. But, your heart is aching. You miss Kisuke more than anything.

“What is it, (Name)?” your lieutenant Akon, asks. “Noth-nothing” you sigh, trying not to throw a certain liquid that your hands hold.

He frowns, and then lets a little scoff scape his lips. “Go ahead, I know you are missing Urahara-san. I don’t mind finishing what you are doing, it’s not gonna change anything if you come or not tomorrow. Go, I will excuse you with Captain Kurotsuchi”

You pout, sniffle, and hug him. He had become such a big man after all these years; you remember him with pure love as the tiny kid under Mayuri’s lab coat following him everywhere.  

“THANK YOU SO MUCH VICE CAPTAIN!” you chime, making the always serious man to smile warmly.

“Now go, go! Kurotsuchi Taicho is about to come with little Nemuri”

You hang your coat and quickly put everything you were using in place. And right before you leave, Akon has something else to say to you.

“Oi, (Name)… come and visit us some time, ok?” he says, confusing you to no extent. What is he talking about?

“Akon-san, what do you mean? I’m gonna be ok! I’ll be back in some days!”

You run towards the streets of the Gotei 13 facilities with happiness in your heart, you are gonna see your lover earlier and you wanna make sure you had everything ready so you go as fast as possible.

You hesitate to call him and announce you are getting there one day earlier, but you resolve not doing it just to surprise him… “He told me he will give me a surprise when I get there, but, I’m going to surprise him too!”

As soon as you finish packing some basic stuff, since your gigai’s clothes are all at the world of the living, you cross the senkaimon through the dangai again. (This time running from the Kōtotsu, wondering if Mayuri knew you were scaping one day earlier and had decided to make it difficult to you)

Before you arrive Kisuke’s shop and home, you fix the hat on your head. He told you that whenever you came back you should give it back to him, but the truth is that is gonna be difficult to, since you have slept with it every single day you weren’t with him.

Sneaking on the back, concealing your spiritual pressure, you take a look at the little window to see him speaking to Tessai. You smirk with a naughty attitude, you wonder what they were discussing, probably something about the shop.

However, that’s not exactly what you listen…

“Urahara-san, you have to be brave and tell her” his loyal companion says, serving him a cup of tea.

“It’s not about bravery, Tessai-san. It’s about… her. I’m afraid she is gonna suffer” Kisuke mumbles, scratching his dishevelled hair and his a week of no shave face.

You swallow… if there is something that he needs to be brave to tell you that will potentially harm you that means is something bad. “He wants to leave me…” you murmur, trying not to cry even if a tear is already scaping your eye.

You can’t keep listening, and, instead you leave the hat over the window sill right before running away.

You run, fast in between the people. In any case they won’t see you, you are still a soul with no real body. The gusts your shihakusho creates alerts the citizens, but they simply think it’s just wind that bring them, somehow, sorrow.

And you run that much that you get to the last place you’ve been happy; the sunflowers fields of Karakura city. “Hi… sweet flowers, you know? He doesn’t love me, but I do love him… just like you all love the Sun”

“What are you saying, (Name)-san? Do you really think I don’t love you?” a soft voice makes your muscles suddenly stiffen up.  “Do you really think that?” he asks, coming closer.

You can’t look at him. He knows, of course he knows you were there. He can sense you, there is only so much you can do to hide your reiatsu from him.

“Tell me, (Name)-san. Do you really think that?” he repeats, at your back, never coming closer to touch you. And it hurts, somehow you want his touch, you need it.

“Kisuke… I- I heard you talking about it… you are gonna leave me, right?” you ask, with your eyes fixed on the sunset ahead. Just like every time you two say goodbye, the golden hour caressing your cheeks and the yellow petals of countless sunflowers.

You notice he is not saying anything, nor even breathing. You are getting annoyed, and so, impulsed by your own heart you turn around…

“Marry me?” he asks, looking like a cute little puppy, blushed and kneeling on the ground with a weird looking ring on his hand.

You blink, and gawk. What… the hell?

“I’m sorry if this makes you suffer… I just- I just don’t want you to leave the courts if you don’t want to. I- I’m gonna go back to the Seireitei if that is what it takes to be with you… so, would you marry me, (Name)-san?”

You take your hands to your face, that was what he wanted?! Suffering?? You just want to be with him… and now you understand Akon’s words… you are staying here, in this new world, just with and for him.

“Of course I wanna marry you, Kisuke!!!” ~

[grislyintentions]

Yaoshi Kissing Booth || Accepting || @memovia

When faced with peril, mankind's reactions largely fall within four categories: fight, flight, freeze, fawn. And history has revealed this creature's response is to freeze where action really counts.

How pitiful.

Misery, guilt and self-loathing has encased his heart in a wall of frost to numb the tender organ. He must be suffering immensely.

So why does he continue to run from deliverance?

Was it because pain is all he knew? Was he clinging onto what was familiar, regardless of the agony he would have to endure in his cyclic existence? Such a sorrowful thing. If he persists in suffering with the potential for change, then it would be cruel of the Aeon not to help.

Claws puncture the spot right where Muyang kissed, gouging in deep as they sigh and push their hand further through, puncturing themselves. When Yaoshi retracts their appendage, they carry with them a small fragment.

Blackened from tip to end. Tough, ridges forming all along the sides of the fragment. A shard of rib from a beloved devotee. Lifting the piece to their own mouth, they dissolve it into substance and coats it on their lips. Vermillion and green tinges.

They taste unlike any other substance when Yaoshi cradled the creature's head and pressed their mouths together. Parting theirs with an unnaturally long tongue so as to smear the substance onto the underside of Muyang's own.

Ash and smoke, with a hint of sweetness morphs into sticky jam as an aftertaste. It is a taste that haunts as much as the creature's own demons does.

[+ 1: Ability to mutate different parts of his own body into mara-struck creatures and utilise their abilities for 3 rounds Cost: Mutating causes extreme agony (both mental and physical), and will result in the sensation of being 'locked in' for a duration of 2 hours afterwards]

[8turning]

☆⠀⠀CHO.KYUNGMIN — love dive !

kyungmin x gn ! reader ★ s2?. minimal angst. comfort ★ wc 2.7k

warnings: food mentions & consumption. let me know if i missed anything!

n. celebratory fic cuz i got promoted at work :D

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〈 REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED ! 〉

love is complicated. love is blind. love is easy to fall into, and - in most cases - hard to fall out of. love is the beauty of life.

the venture of love seemed to tug every beings heart onward, in search of new towering highs and extravagant lows where they too could possibly find such gratification.

but even then, the desperate want to love - or to be loved - does not guarantee anything for an individual. having love to offer does not mean you will find someone to give it to, and the aching pain you feel after being loved no longer holds no promise you will experience being loved once more.

love is inconsistent.

the sound of dry leaves scratching against the pavement below you filled your ears, the wind howling and causing a chilling night breeze as you remain on the park bench.

winter is approaching, and now more than ever, you wished to be loved. heart beating quickly as the temperature steadily lowered, you bring your hands to your biceps, your winter coat growing more and more useless as time passes.

you rub your thumbs along your jacket sleeves in hope the friction could bring you some form of solace, but to no avail. the line between wanting to be held to no longer feel this chilling cold and to feel as though you were appreciated by someone seemed to become increasingly blurred the longer you remained on the wooden bench.

you felt as goosebumps raise along your exposed skin, the joints in your fingers growing stiff as you take a deep breath in, chest rising and you hope the vacancy around you can be discarded from your mind.

rising from your place, the breeze slows its momentum - and for the first time since you left your apartment - you felt as if luck was on your side. you keep your mask above your nose in an attempt to lessen your chances of getting sick as you begin your commute back to your lonesome apartment, the walk short from the local park.

you move your hands to your coat pockets, the fabric rubbing against your skin easing the cold atmosphere you - albeit willingly - found yourself in.

the street lamps and neon signs outside the local corner stores illuminated the streets and sidewalk, faint murmurs from surrounding folk filled your ears as you walked past.

the posters along the windows of the convenience store across the street seem all too enticing to stroll away from. looking down each side of the road in front of you, you make your way across the street to the small shop.

the metal bar handle along the door was cold - as if you had expected it to be anything else - and lowering your sleeve to protect your hand, you pull it open.

the air in the store wasn’t much warmer than outside, but the difference seemed immense to your frigid body. the clerk greets you, his bright smile unfortunately going unreciprocated as you offer him a pained one.

his doesn’t falter, and in the back of your mind you boil it down to him taking his job rather seriously - such devotion to even a closing shift at a corner store is hard to find.

their refrigerated section is where you stop, a variety of sandwiches - both lunch and breakfast - available to you. fruit and different cold drinks lining the shelf before you inevitably pass up the opportunity; weather much too unforgiving to allow yourself such cold delicacies.

the warmest foods you could find were several cups of microwavable ramen and breakfast sandwiches that required heating, both of which you’d have to wait till you were back at your apartment to consume - you found yourself growing more impatient as time passed in the store.

“y'know, i could heat something up for you in the back if you’d like,” you hear a voice say, ridding your mind of your mental debate as you look in the direction the voice came from - your eyes meeting with the clerk’s once again.

he seems to notice your hesitance to answer, filling the store with his voice once more: “i’m actually about to close up shop, i could heat it then you could eat in here to warm up a bit if you’d like.

“i won’t charge you extra to heat it up, if you’re worried about that,” he adds on, that same smile he had when you first walked in returning to his face.

nodding, you grab a cup of ramen and a sandwich, making your way towards the counter and he begins to ring up your items before you even could set them down.

you pay, your eyes glancing at his nametag as he counts your change; kyungmin. he grabs both items and juts his chin to behind you. “you can take a seat over there, i’ll bring them out once they’re warm,” and with that, he disappears into the back.

you walk where he had directed you to, taking a seat in the chair and leaning your clothed forearms against the tables surface after fishing your phone from your back pocket.

11:24 PM your phone screen read, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you try to occupy yourself for the next few minutes. you come to realize you hadn’t thanked the clerk for his kindness yet - wishing you had done so at the counter - and guilt fills your being.

the soft music that played throughout the store cuts off, catching your attention as you look up, only for a moment to pass before a new station seemed to start playing.

alongside the much more upbeat music, you hear a microwave humming from the back room, as well as footsteps. “sorry for the music change,” kyungmin says, peering over the aisles to find you looking at him. “i usually plug my phone in when i clean before closing,” he finishes, walking towards the front door and turning the open sign, as well as disabling the neon sign that hung in the window next to the very posters that drew you here.

“no worries,” you say, those being the first words you had spoken in a few hours - as well as the first you had spoken to him. “thank you for letting me eat here.”

“of course - wouldn’t wanna leave you cold and hungry this late at night,” he replies, making his way towards the back once more, soon returning with a broom and dustpan.

you couldn’t help but watch as he swept the floors, your eyes never losing sight of where he was from how his head rarely fell below the tops of the shelfs littered throughout the store.

he wipes down the countertops, the fridges where drinks are stored, the coffee and tea machines before he makes it to the last aisle, the same one that the table you sat at was closest to.

he swept quickly and efficiently, and just then you realized why they probably book him for the same shift that has to clean the store. his swiftness doesn’t deplete when he nears you, but you’re still shocked when he mutters a small “sorry” as he passes you by, another smile directed towards you.

he must have had to have many energy drinks running through his system to be this peppy at almost midnight; or perhaps, his natural attitude was just that vitamin-like.

you watch as he tossed out the debris he had collected, making the same commute to the back just in time for the microwave to beep. despite the distance between you and the backroom doorway, you could smell the faint scent of soup and the sandwich you had bought - your suspicions of what the scent was only confirmed as you watch kyungmin emerge once again, your food items in hand.

“careful, they just came out,” he says, setting them on the tabletop along with utensils and napkins.

“thank you,” you say, lowering your mask before you rip the rest of the paper top from the ramen cup, separating the ramen with the utensils he provided you with.

“if you need anything else, just yell, okay? i’ll be able to hear you over the music, don’t worry” and off he went again, finishing up his closing shift duties as you ate in peace, finding his taste in music rather soothing in the friendly atmosphere that he had created effortlessly.

you watched out the window you sat next to, the people who accompanied you on the streets before seemed to have vanished in the short time you occupied the convenience store.

kyungmin's faint humming as he tinkered around the store did not go unheard, shifting from wall-to-wall and corner-to-corner in search of anything more he could possibly clean - and to no avail.

“if you want me to leave so you can go home you can just tell me,” you offer, his head perking up over the shelves to look in your direction. “you’ve already done a lot to help me, it’s the least i could do, really.” you finish, preparing to grab your half-empty ramen cup and sandwich rapper before he speaks up.

“that’s not necessary,” he begins. “might grab something myself to eat, actually.” with that, he waltzes to the refrigerated section you had gone to prior, picking out a cold sandwich.

you watch as he walks to the counter next, paying for his meal before heading towards you. “may i?” he asks, his head tilting to the side in the direction of the chair opposite you - you nod.

he seemed relieved - this probably being the first time he was able to sit in the last few hours - as he begins unwrapping his sandwich. he eats in silence, not trying to force a conversation to happen that wasn’t natural, and a part of you greatly appreciated that - whether intentional on his end or not.

“thank you again for letting me stay behind,” you say, earning a light chuckle as he looks out the window beside him before turning his gaze back to you.

“it’s really no hassle,” he explains. “besides, it was nice having some company while i closed up, even if we were both preoccupied.”

his smile grew wider, and before you had time to realize, you were finally offering him one in return. the ache that once filled your chest was now replaced with a pleasant warmth - but nevertheless, the longing remained, but perhaps for a different reason than prior.

“i’m kyungmin, by the way,” he says after a few beats of silence.

“i read your nametag earlier,” you laugh, watching as he looks down, seemingly as if he forgot he even wore a nametag and turns to the side - you note how his ears turn red under his tussled dark hair. “i’m y/n.”

“well, y/n,” he begins once again, rising from his place. “i think it’s about time we both head out, it’s pretty late.”

you nod, grabbing your trash and tossing it into a nearby bin as he does the same. “did you walk here?” he inquires as he walks to the backroom once again, presumably to grab his belongings.

“yeah, but i don’t live too far from here-”

“then would it be alright if i walked you home?” he asks, peeking his head out from the doorway as he slides a jacket over his work attire and slings a backpack over his shoulder.

“i don’t want to make your commute home even longer,” you say, brows furrowing.

“i live close as well, i guarantee you won’t make it any longer - in fact,” he starts, smile spreading on his lips as he locks the backroom. “i think you’d make it more enjoyable.”

he walks past you to get the the counter once again, and you remain frozen in place for a moment while you fully process his words. while your mind told you to not overthink the strangers kindness - to follow your guardians advice as to not trust strangers in the first place - you found yourself wanting to walk home with him; he felt safe.

“that’ll be fine then,” you confirm, kyungmin nodding as he scribbles on a small card before shoving it into his pocket, paying it no mind as you put your mask over your nose once again.

“then, shall we?” he says, walking towards the door and allowing you to catch up to him, keeping the door open with his foot as to let you through before turning off the lights, locking the door behind you both.

“you want to lead the way?” he asks, a small “sure” leaving your lips as your eyes remain glued to the concrete below you, kyungmin smiling as he lifts his own mask to cover his face.

he remains by your side, never too close but never straying too far either - a comfortable distance. but as the night grew more cruel, you became thankful for his presence, even if a small tinge of guilt coursed through your veins at the prospect of having him walk in this chilling cold with you.

“you’re heading to those apartments?” he asks, a single hand coming out of his pocket to point in the direction of your apartments building’s illuminated front patio - you nod.

“i live in those ones, too - fourth floor,” he comments, shivering hand returning to his pocket as he lets out a light laugh, a faint fog appearing before his face then vanishing from the air that had passed through his mask.

“i’m on the second,” you reply, noting how kyungmin nods in your peripheral vision as you cross the last street heading towards the complex.

the receptionist was no where to be found - not unusual at this hour - and you both book it to the elevator. the warm air circulated throughout the building, you and kyungmin taking a deep breath in hopes the warmth can infiltrate your bodies quicker.

he presses two buttons - the 2nd floor and the 4th - before leaning against one of the rails. the vibration of the elevator was enough to lull you, your exhausted body and racing mind hoping to rest itself once you were alone.

the elevator dings and the door slides open. “i take it you won’t need much more ‘walking-home’ from here,” kyungmin comments, his eye-smile almost as bright as his usual one as you turn back to face him.

“thank you, again, for everything,” you say, nodding your head as you exit the elevator.

you hear the the door begins to close behind you before a voice sounds down the hall.

“y/n! i forgot,” kyungmin says, placing his foot in front of the door to prevent it from shutting and sending him away as he digs in his pocket. “i wanted to give you this,” he says, pulling out a small card with even smaller columned pictures on it.

“it’s a punch card, if you buy things from the shop, you can earn punches to get a free item! in case you wanted to stop by again,” he concludes, a faint dust of red hides under his mask, yet it doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

you thank him, taking the card from his fidgeting hand and bidding your final goodbye to him. looking at the card, you notice a smear of black along the front, and upon turning it over, you find smudged writing - what appeared to be a phone number.

you turn back, but it was too late as you only caught a small glimpse of his smiling face - mask now removed - with red cheeks and ears through the crack of the sliding door before it fully closed.

you laugh lightly, skeptical of the current turn of events your life had seemed to take in only the course of a few hours - you were grateful nonetheless.

returning your gaze to the card, you come to the conclusion that you should frequent the store more often. you’d get to talk to a sweet and cute clerk and work your way towards free food at the same time?

it seemed as though the longing to love and to be loved tugged your heart into a small convenience store today - and unlike other attempts - this one reigned successful, and you found yourself excited and anticipating what this new venture would bring.

© 8turning 2023.

[arakawa-division]

Ivelisse's Thoughts on Suginami Division

Ryuko Umemoto

"Ryuko-san's story, it is a... very poignant one. His past as a Yakuza member, it stirs up memories of my own brother's struggles. It's a harsh world, one that can leave deep scars on us all." The yoga instructor looks down, but then looks up, a hopeful look on her face.

"But to hear that Ryuko has found a way out, that he's channeling his energy into animation, it gives me hope. Hope for him, and... hope for my brother wherever he is. He is contributing to a craft that brings joy and inspiration to many. It’s a form of healing, both for the creator and the audience. I admire that transition from a life of destruction to one of creation. It’s a journey that takes immense strength and courage."

Maki Umemoto

"I'd like to think that there is a shared understanding between Maki-sensei and I as educators. While he seeks to educate the mind, I seek to educate the soul and spirit. I see a kindred spirit in him, someone who uses knowledge to make a difference."

"...It's for that reason I worry about whenever the topic of Chuohku is brought up around him. His stance against the government, it is a very bold one. It doesn't worry me, but it does remind me that our actions have ripples. Stirring up resentment can be dangerous, and knowing Chuohku's methods, I've no doubt that would have no issue using nefarious means to silence him. I know it's not my place to silence him, but I do hope he takes care where and when he says such things."

Shuu Edogawa

"I admire Shuu-san's work as an investigator. While the intricacies of love are foreign to me, the pursuit of truth is universal. His dedication to uncovering facts and providing clarity in complicated situations is admirable. It's a role that requires both intuition and detachment, qualities that are essential in my own practice of yoga and meditation."

"His focus on cases of infidelity, while it's a painful aspect of human relationships, it's also where people are most vulnerable and in need of support. Shuu-san's work helps bring closure to those who are hurting, and in a way, that's its own form of healing. It's not an easy job, but it's a necessary one, and I respect him for it."

Sazanka Zombeez

"The Sazanka Zombeez are a team with a cause, and that's something I can understand. Their unity in the face of adversity, their desire to rebel against the government, it's a powerful driving force. It gives their music, their battle, a deeper meaning. I look forward to hearing more of it as the D.R.B. continues."

[dolphin1812]

Much of this chapter seems to function like the previous ones. Again, we have the consequences of what a local guide (the shepherd) does and does not say:

“If the little shepherd who served as guide to Bülow, Blücher’s lieutenant, had advised him to debouch from the forest above Frischemont, instead of below Plancenoit, the form of the nineteenth century might, perhaps, have been different. Napoleon would have won the battle of Waterloo. By any other route than that below Plancenoit, the Prussian army would have come out upon a ravine impassable for artillery, and Bülow would not have arrived.”

With the shepherd, we don’t have as much detail on how he was treated by these troops, but given that “any other route” would have led to the French army’s success, we can assume that he also felt an incentive to conceal information from them, either because of poor treatment, political reasons, or another cause. 

The “infinite” also remains a major player here. Hugo references it directly (”Such are these immense risks proportioned to an infinite which we cannot comprehend”), but it’s also present in all his comments about the fickleness of fate (or rather, assuming it’s possible to know one’s fate). Even the first lines of the chapter make this clear:

“The painful surprise of Napoleon is well known. Grouchy hoped for, Blücher arriving. Death instead of life.

“Fate has these turns; the throne of the world was expected; it was Saint Helena that was seen.”

The battle is certainly treated as a tragedy (mostly in the loss of life, but that it was a “painful surprise” to Napoleon is acknowledged), but it’s also an inevitable one on the personal level (meaning, with regards to Napoleon). Fate was bound to change his fortunes eventually. Waterloo was simply where it happened.

Hugo consistently portrays Napoleon as a “great man” as well. While there are no references to his “genius” here, there are still signs of it. For instance, he’s “the first” to spot something important, with Hugo emphasizing how early it was when he noticed it. Consequently, we’re made to recognize his talents in relation to the men around him. 

At the same time, the narrative tells us that none of this actually matters. Part of the issue is “the infinite” (which is always more powerful than an individual man), but part of it (as stressed in previous chapters, and as seen with the shepherd here) is that a “great” man is actually just a man, like all of the “minor” figures who were present at Waterloo and were not glorified or condemned for it. The true difference between Napoleon and the shepherd; his guide; his soldiers; the English; and the families living there was their status, with Napoleon’s power drawing attention to all of his successes and failures. This could be a way of coping with censorship, as every time we directly read about Napoleon, we see praise of him, but everything around him tells us that this praise is hollow.