#ghosts and investigations are my two favourite things

[lonelylonelyghost]

OK, why the hell was I not aware of Doom Patrol until like literally 2 days ago??

I'm on episode 7 now and it's so good???

The general premise is quite familiar to any lover of superhero stuff. Basically due to some circumstances several people somehow attain unusual powers and are gathered in the huge-ass house (the energy bills must be insane) by a mysterious Chief. And then weird shit starts happening.

I think in regards to general set-up it's a bit similar to Umbrella Academy, but in smaller details and characterizations it's a completely different thing.

The characters? - They are actually good people. Flawed, yeah, definitely, some of them did pretty messed up stuff in the past, but they're constantly trying to do better, be better. Deeply human, despite their supernatural abilities. I know that complete irredeemable assholes are quite popular with the public nowadays, but for me personally I like characters that have kindness in them, someone I could actually root for, and with at least some semblance of a moral compass.

The dynamic? Great! Everyone there is with their distinct quirks and loads of trauma, somehow culminating into a messed up but highly entertaining to watch found family. Also, at least for now - no romance within the group! Yey! Praise the gods, honestly, because you've no idea how annoyed I would be otherwise (a lot of media is ruined forever by adding a completely unnecessary romance subplots imo. Hollywood can't grasp the concept of love like 99% of the time). But with the way it's going and what kind of dynamic people there have with each other, any romance between them seems highly unlikely.

Humor? Oh yes! I'm too lazy to look for specific quotes, but because the characters are so different from each other, from their personalities and experiences to time periods, their interactions and reactions to the same events are hilarious.

The meta from The Narrator aka Mr Nobody is also top tear. I quite like meta things in media in general, and it's not easy to do it well, but here it's executed just right. The interesting thing about this running commentary on the events happening is that despite the seemingly omniscient perspective it's clear that The Narrator is biased and you can't really take his every word and opinion as absolute reality.

Also, one thing that I personally appreciate - even though there is a fair amount of graphic violence and gore, it's actually manageable and not crossing the "violence just for the shock value" line. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some on-screen dismemberment every once in a while, but not when it starts to get gross. No way near the level of the Boys (please don't kill me, I like their memes).

Overall, this particular mix of scifi and magic, tragedy, comedy, heartfelt moments and good plot managed to resonate with my brain's wavelength. So here we go. Enjoy

My favorite flavor of absolute bonkers happening all the time

[lilywastaken]

now hear me out: witch hunter!ghost x witch!reader...

he's visiting a town with the rest of his team to investigate a claim that there might be witches running rampant around the small countryside village, only to fall victim to a resident's charm while they conduct interviews.

she's a sweet woman who insists on curing the scratches that he's gathered across their travels, using tonics and herbs from her cute little garden and letting him pet her pet cat, who seems to have taken liking to the dark and imposing man, rubbing it's little black body against his boots and purring when he leans down to scratch under its chin.

it doesn't even clock in his mind how every single detail about you and your life correlates exactly with the obvious signs of a witch, but he's too spellbound with you to even realise.

he informs the others that none of the people he's talked to seem to have made the infamous deal with the devil, but due to the panicked way the leader of the community had written to them, they decide to stay to investigate further, staying in the small inn near the outskirts of town and luckily for simon, near your cottage.

despite the clear liking he's taken to you, he's still as emotionless and snarky as he would be with anyone else, and his chest tightens every time you laugh or giggle out loud at one of his dark jokes, most unladylike for any other woman, but you don't seem to care to hide your snorts or amusement around him, something he completely adores.

he insists on helping you with your garden, claiming you have no need to get your hands dirty when he's used to doing dirty work (both taking lives and tending to his own garden back home), sitting at your kitchen and watching you make the tonics and medicine you help treating anyone who has fallen ill in the village, standing close by whenever someone comes in with an injury, absolutely in awe at how they're cured almost immediately, thanking you gratefully before leaving. although, he does not miss the dirty glares some of your neighbours send you when they think you're not watching, making him grow confused, not understanding why they would harbour such feelings towards someone as kind and helpful as you.

it's not until he's taking a break at the pub, listening to gaz drawl on about some thing or another, when he catches wind of two women's conversation, frowning beneath the leather mask he wears in distaste has he takes in their poisioned words.

"-making moves on my poor husband. i swear, she's put some type of spell on him, that vile witch."

"oh, i know! my brother told her off last monday and guess what!? the next day, he fell off the roof and broke his leg! bloody bitch probably cursed him!"

"gosh, i cannot wait until those hunters finally get her! i have no idea how she's managed to evade their suspicions, she's done nothing to hide herself!"

"well, by the way that masked man has been loitering around her home, we'll be lucky to have a burning at the end of the week!"

they both laugh, the high pitch shrieks that they let out enough to make the glass in simon's hand shatter, shoving his seat back and leaving a dumfounded gaz in the pub alone as he walked away.

the splintering wooden door slams open as he shoves himself into your cottage, dark eyes landing on your crouched figure and then the second one, body freezing as he makes eye contact with his captain.

"simon." the man grunts, alerting you of your favourite visitor's presence as you pull back from the wound on his leg you were treating, a sweet smile on your lips.

"simon!" you repeat, cleaning your hands with the bucket of water next to you, wiping away the dried blood in the rags as price sends a warning look to his subordinate, the blond furrowing his brows in confusion, before the conversation he'd overheard before came to mind.

no.

no, price didn't know.

and, god, no, you weren't one of them.

you... no. no.

"let's get going. thank you for the help, miss." his whole body went into autopilot as price pushes him out of the cottage, the short wave and caring smile you sent his way the last thing he saw before the door was slammed shut.

neither of the men spoke on their trek back to the inn, and simon did not sleep a wink that night, terrified of what would happen in the coming days.

surprisingly, there was nothing. no finding of stakes, no gathering of firewood, no detainment of you.

so maybe, price hadn't picked up on you. even though simon was still convinced you were not one of those.

until after a few days of pouring rain, simon wakes up to a cold room and the absence of johnny, who he knows for a fact that never woke up before him unless forced to, something he'd learned after years of sharing the same room with the scot.

and as he walks out into the muddy roads, that oh-so familiar smell hits his nose.

the burning of wood, of grass, of cloth, of human.

his heart dropped into his stomach, following the trail of ashes that had blown across the roads until he arrives at the town square, the burning piece of wood in Gaz's hand along with the flames consuming the hay and grass that lay across the ground of the plaza, the fire slowly consuming your beautiful white dress he'd seen you sew barely days ago.

simon barely takes notice of price coming towards him, attempting to hold him back from rushing into the crowd simply staring up at you, your eyes falling down upon his struggling body, your face going from the calm expression it had been in to shock, pulling at your tied up wrists instinctively in a frail attempt to rush towards him.

"simon...!" you breathe out, soot entering your lungs as you inhale, tears filling your eyes from the burn as you watch him wrestle out of his captain's grip, his boots stomping against the rocky ground as he shoved past the gawkers, leather slamming against the kindle, ignoring his team's shouts and the fire burning his clothes and skin, reaching the stake you were tied to, his face out in the open due to the way he'd rushed out of his room, dark eyes reflecting the flames that were taking you both.

his shaky hands come behind you to untie the ropes around your arms, caging you with his body and allowing you to rest your head against his shoulder, tears streaming down your cheeks as you look down at the burns forming across his legs.

"stop." you pleade, trying to push him away with your chest. "stop, simon, stop...!"

"shut up!" he snaps, throwing the ropes into the fire as they came undone, letting you collapse into his arms as you were let free, your hands gripping his dress shirt. "you're going to be okay, we need to-"

his voice broke as he looks down at your sunken eyes, your lips dry and cracked as if you'd just ran a marathon, but looking down at your intact legs and burning dress, he realises where all your energy had gone.

"simon.."

no.

"please, stop-"

no. you....

"you're going to die, simon, please!"

you couldn't be...

"i won't be able to save you, simon, listen to me!"

you were wailing at this point, trying to push his body down the small burning hill, but his body doesn't budge.

"simon!" his captain's grating voice pulls him out of his stupor, his hands growing tighter around your waist as he locks gazes with the furious looking man, your wails becoming static in his ears as he doesn't think twice as his now blistering hands pulled your legs up, letting you grasp onto his neck instinctively as he holds you bridal style, ignoring the searing pain rushing through his body.

"simon, don't, don't you dare!" you scream, the first time he's heard you raise your voice at him. "please, i'm not worth saving, you know what i am! i don't deserve to live!"

liar. you... you were worth everything.

you were worth the burns on his body, the destruction of his ideals and the pain the mere sight of you in tears gave him.

he doesn't care what you are.

you're... a witch. what he swore to destroy and what he has been hunting for over a decade.

but you're not... you're... not evil.

maybe none of them were, maybe if he'd taken the time to get to know the women they'd burnt before he'd have realised sooner, that you were just people.

and he wasn't going to let you get hurt. maybe it was a bit selfish or ironic, but he didn't care. he'd take you away from this town, from his colleagues, from the pain, let you live in peace somewhere were no one would bother you.

and if you let him, he'd come with you too.

he ignores price's shouts about the so called spell you'd put on him and as he looks down at your shivering body in his arms, the way you're curling into him, the way you were wailing for him to save himself moments ago, he couldn't...

even if you had put some type of spell on him, he didn't care. never had he felt like this. and yes, he'd deal with the consequences of this later, but for now, as he runs through the forest with your trembling body in his arms, he couldn't care less.

he isn't going to let anyone hurt you any more than they have.

(brainrot for this idea is open please 🗣️)

[how-very-superbat]

Lengthy Superbat Fics!

I'm not sure how to really define 'lengthy' so I'm going for 20k+ (and Superman x Batman of course)

I just looked at how many I have and oh my god this is going to be very long. I will put a *** next to my favourites

From This Day Forward by Mithen (29k) When Kal-El of the House of El must marry a wealthy Terran for diplomatic reasons, Krypton will never be the same.

Action and Re-Action by Mithen (24k) In the first issue of Justice League after the reboot, Batman told Green Lantern he had never met Superman before. This story takes that statement at face value--but what if Bruce Wayne had met him before?

Stranger in a Strange Land by Mithen (27k) (Literally how does Mithen have time for all this) Kal-El of Krypton arrives on Earth as an adult. To the Justice League's surprise, Batman volunteers to introduce him to human ways. There's an immediate bond between the two men, but cultural differences and miscommunication complicate their relationship.

"Did you all have to get sick at the same time?" by Writer_loves_tropes (25k) Alfred is away on a well deserved vacation and Bruce is left to take care of the three Bat boys by himself. He's pretty sure he can easily take care of an eight year old, an eleven year old, and a twelve year old without having to call Alfred for backup. He's Batman. Batman can handle anything, right?

An Honest Conversation by frozenpotions (60k)*** “So Bruce’s longtime best friend had suddenly decided to start eye-fucking him at random. So what? Bruce was used to being the object of this kind of attention. It didn’t bother him. It was—should have been fine. The issue was that it was Clark, and Bruce had enough trouble remaining rational about him at the best of times.” or Bruce and Clark go from friends to lovers the long, long, long way round. Featuring a number of revelations, a well-meaning but nosy son (Dick) and, most prominently, two adult men being completely and utterly useless.

as to which may be the true by susiecarter (53k) It isn't difficult to go on in the wake of Superman's death. His resurrection, though, poses a problem—especially when it turns out there's no such thing as the right moment to explain that Martha Kent's obnoxious billionaire friend? Is also the man who tried really hard to shove a kryptonite spear through Clark's face.

all each riddles, when unknown by susiecarter (52k) Clark, struggling to deal with the events of Black Zero Day, is assigned a straightforward human-interest piece—on Wayne Enterprises. Then Batman catches Superman's attention, Clark Kent starts investigating Batman, Bruce Wayne spends a lot of time arguing with hitting on Clark Kent, and Bruce's best efforts to find a way to hurt Superman start to bear fruit. And then things get complicated.

and if the sun comes by susiecarter (30k) Steppenwolf isn't interested in accepting defeat and walking away. Superman's proven that he's the key to conquering Earth, and Steppenwolf returns with a plan for how to deal with him. A plan that Bruce is able to throw a wrench into—but not without certain unintended consequences.

Only Human by saltedpin (23k) Clark temporarily loses his powers, and while it's initially jarring, he gradually adjusts and tries to go about on a somewhat normal routine after telling his inner circle (which can also include the League since they're building themselves up). Problem is that he is somehow an even bigger danger magnet than Lois in this state.

Loading and Aspect Ratio byJUBE154 (45k) It had started out as a simple design, black everything with black outlines and black hood. It got a little more intense as the world went on, got wind of his ghost on the streets, and became scared of The Bat. So Bruce got a little more creative with it, Alfred and him had a good laugh over the name, the scare. So now the suit had a visible bat-theme, an insignia to drape in the shadows and to paint across the streets of Gotham: “The Batman can fly, you know, I’ve seen his wings.” (A world where nobody has wings, but people think they do, and that changes everything.)

Whoever Falls First by liodain (34k) "There's more kryptonite out there. When the Superman returns, there's going to be an all-star battle royale in the criminal underworld. Every megalomaniacal freak will want a piece of it so they can get a piece of you. And some of them will manage. They'll weaponize it and won't hesitate to use it against you, and when that happens I will not have you flailing around like an idiot." aka: Bruce teaches Clark how to fight.

Repeat Your Favourite Mistakes And Love Them All Again by watchingthestars13 (160k)*** "Oh dear," came Alfred's surprised voice from the stairs, and all of them turned to look at him. His face was a little pale as he stared at all the boys, Jason's huge t-shirt, Tim's dress, Damian wrapped in a spare cape that was in the batmobile. At least Dick was able to fit into Tim's Red Robin pants, and Jason in Damian's Robin pants. Had Bruce been a lesser man, he would've said 'dear god, help'. All it took now was for their eyes to meet before Alfred composed himself.

Opposites Eventually Attract by Pandamomochan (34k) When an accident forces Clark and Bruce to be no more than ten feet apart from each other at all times, both heroes are forced to evaluate what their relationship really means to each other.

The Long Hangover by CoffioCake (55k)*** Clark knows he should take a break: His powers are on the fritz, he feels like shit, and Batman’s treating him like a liability. But Gotham's villains seem to have it in for Metropolis' Big Blue Boy Scout and Clark won't just wait around for answers. Batman might be the world’s greatest detective, but Clark Kent is one of the Daily Planet’s most tenacious reporters. This is definitely a job for Superman.

Conflated by PamiGami (31k) “Are you sure you’re feeling quite all right, sir? I was but fairly sure the head hadn't been impacted.” “No… no, please. Listen. I’m in his body, but I’m not him. I can prove it.” Ill at ease, Clark rubbed at the back of his head, not stopping to think about the weird sensation of feeling not his own curls, but somebody else’s hair. The man continued to stare at him with piercing and scolding eyes. “I believe you.” He nodded. “Mister Wayne doesn’t say please this early in the morning.”

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish (96k)*** Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

Get Over It by rotasha (32k) Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...

[boombox-fuckboy]

Hi!

I have been following this blog for a while now and I love using it to find new podcasts. I was wondering, if you have time, what you think is the scariest podcast you've listened to or what your favorite horror podcasts might be? Thank you, and I hope you have a great day :)

I'm so glad to have helped you find new shows!

I don't really get scared by horror podcasts (not sure why. It isn't some "I'm tough" thing, I get startled by the toaster, and it's not like I never feel unsettled or concerned or icked out at podcasts, just not scared) so I'm not sure I can give you a good answer on that one, but I'll gladly give you ten of my personal favourites instead:

Alice Isn't Dead: The podcast that got me into podcasts. A truck driver travels the USA looking for her wife, who until recently, she had thought was dead. Along the way she has all manner of strange encounters, and sees a side to the world that few truely comprehend.

Archive 81: A young archivist takes a job at a remote outpost organising and digitising a collection of tapes. On the tapes is a series of interviews and investigations made by a social worker in the 90s as she becomes familiar with a bizzare apartment building. The archivist, naturally, has an increasingly bad time. Each season is part of the same story, but they're all a bit different.

Ghost Wax: Recorded interviews conducted by the last surviving necromancer, and various people who died under seemingly otherworldly circumstances.

Hello From The Hallowoods: Supernatural and cosmic horror. A powerful and dramatic entity visits your nightmares to relay stories of the people (to varying degrees of both human and alive) who inhabit the beautiful and deadly Hallowoods. What start off as individual stories quickly connect to a larger narrative.

Hi Nay: A supernatural horror following a young woman named Mari, who's babaylan (shaman) family background draws her into helping people with various horrific supernatural problems around Toronto. Formatted as phone calls to her mother telling her what's happened.

I Am In Eskew: Often-horrific stories from a man living in something that very much wishes to be a city, and a private investigator who was, in her words, hired to kill a ghost. Many people seem to agree this one is scary.

Janus Descending: A xenoarcheologist and a xenopaleontologist are sent to investigate and sample the ruins of a long-dead alien city, and discover more than they anticipated. The format for this one is really clever: you hear her audio logs first to last, and his last to first, and the story is all the more heartbreaking for it. I'd recommend listening to the supercut.

The Lost Cat Podcast: A man befriends strange entities, loses bits of himself and drinks an awful lot of wine while looking for his cat. Soft and cosmic horror.

The Moon Crown: The shortest on this list, but also one of the most fascinating. A disgraced scribe living in a city of humans, beasts, and other bizzare entities, begins to recount recent happenings, and actions she has a hard time explaining, on broadcast. But the people she's hoping to reach might not be the ones listening.

The Silt Verses: In a modern world where gods are plentiful, both illicit and commercialised, two disciples of an outlawed river god go on a pilgrimage.

Although, maybe some other listeners can help me out and share what scared them?

[enderfenderdragon]

how would He react?

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how would Colby Brock react if you played a prank on him while you were 'alone' in a haunted mansion's ball room.

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warnings!: Colby Brock x reader, Mostly gender-neutral reader, i little spicy, kind of fluffy, no use of "y/n", bad grammar.

not proof read!

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if you don't like what you read in the warnings. please don't read. scroll away or even ignore me and this post. please don't leave a comment if it won't be nice or anything. if you do decide to leave a comment. i will delete the comment and block you, and your blog.

thank you :D

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you thought it was a good idea for you to play a prank on your boyfriend - Colby Brock. while you were exploring a haunted mansion.

you, Sam, Colby, Celina and kris were going to have to slit up for a while. one of Sam and Colby's 'investigation tactics' or whatever this was.

luckily, you and Colby was partnered up for this because you were supposed to investigate a big section of the mansion - the ball room.

it was about two minutes in when you thought this was going to be your moment to prank him.

so you walk up to Colby and cups his cheeks from behind. you get him to lean backwards somehow and you put your lips next to his left ear. you then rip out the most sinful moan you've ever made, right into his ear.

Colby jumps forwards. He whips around at stares at you with worry and confusion all over his face. part of this prank was that you had to act like nothing happened while your partner withered away in their dirty mind. You stared back at him and smiled sweetly, as if nothing happened.

"there was a mozzie on your left shoulder, i was getting it off for you" you say sweetly, innocently and nervously.

"oh was there?" Colby says back, stalking towards you.

you back away from him until you cant anymore. your back bumps the wall of the ball room. you look back, and looked so pale someone would think you've seen a ghost.

Colby's hands block you way out. trapping you against the freezing, ruff bricks that made up the wall of the ball room.

"C-Colby, we have to i-investigate" you stutter, obviously nervous and scared.

"tsk, tsk, tsk.... that can wait" he all most growls.

"wha-" you don't even finish a word when his lips come crashing down on yours, sucking the life and breath out of you.

"C-Colby!" you shout as Colby's lips trail down your neck. Planting wet kisses on the sensitive skin He oh so loved.

the only sounds heard from the ball room was the rem-pod and wet kisses.

"Colby, the rem pod is going off...." you trail off. Staring at the rem-pod glowing green.

Colby thankfully turns his head around and stares at the rem-pod.

"mhm, it seems so" Colby says lowly. making you squeeze your legs together.

Colby turns his head towards you and stares you down.

"so." He starts. you turn your head just a smidge. your eyes never leaving his own, blue eyes.

"why did you do that baby?" he says lowly, tilting his head so little you would have never noticed, if you weren't staring him down.

you gulp and squeak out "d-do what?"

Colby chuckles and shakes his head, looking down.

"you moaned in my ear..... do you have any idea how hard it is to hold back yourself when your partner wears your clothes?" he mentions to your 'clothes'. also his favourite hoodie and pants.

"hey you have good taste and.... they're comfy" you mumble, looking down at your shoes.

Colby's hand gently cups your chin and tilts it up so you lock eyes with him.

"what can i say? i have good taste in a lot of things...." he trails off, looking you up and down once biting his lip to stop him from finishing his sentence.

--------

lets just say you couldn't walk or stand after that night you had with him.

----------------

requests open.

this wasn't a request, it was just an idea that i decided to write last minute.

[salparadiselost]

🍂🍁🎃 Autumn-Themed Batfam Fic Reccs 🎃🍁🍂

The season is getting a little colder and the season is turning towards winter. The nights longer and the need for hot drinks stronger. This is my favourite time of year and one that just invites curling up with some reading material. In celebration of my favourite season, I thought I'd recc my favourite autumn vibes Batfam fics.

These fics are all completed and available for free on AO3. They all lean horror (Halloween is fastly approaching! 🦇), with some of them being darker than others. I love horror so that's where I tend to stray. Hope you enjoy! Welcome to Beggars' Bones - Bridgesburn - Length: 143k - Genre: Thriller, "True" Crime, Kidnapping in a Creepy Small Town

"Welcome to Beggars' Bones" is the epitome of what I think of when I think of a perfect story for a bitter autumn night. It reads like an expertly crafted thriller and perfect for those who love a realistic horror story. The basic premise is that Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are on a road trip when Dick's car breaks down. He sends Tim and Damian to go get help and it goes absolutely horribly from there.

Mind the tags because the story hits on real themes and is intense. It draws to mind movies like "Silence of the Lambs" and "Misery" and makes you think twice about stopping in a small town.

Vrykolakas - @chemical-processes - Length: 34k - Genre: Horror, Monsters, Having Your Son for Dinner

My first recc was horror based in reality and this recc is horror based in all the things that go bump in the night. Timothy Drake is not okay. Timothy Drake is not safe. Timothy Drake doesn't have anyone to tell this to, especially not his parents. Read this one if you love a story about a terrifying monster and are not afraid of some gore. It's a bloody good time.

To Hear, To See, To Smile - @jube514 & @salparadiselost - Length: 8.6k - Genre: Light Horror, Monster Kids, Bruce's Horrifically Fierce Adoption Instinct

Is it too pretentious to recommend my own fic? Perhaps, but I'm not known for my humility. I wrote this fic with Jube and it's perfect for the Halloween season. The loose premise is that Bruce has acquired children in the form of eldritch horrors and he is well on his way of getting one more. Although his children are all monsters, it's on the lighter side.

when doves cry - @silk-scarlet-ribbons - Length: 13k - Genre: Grief, Death, When a Memory is as Fresh and Festering as a Wound

This is one of the ones that's making it in through autumn vibes. It's about grief and ghosts that form immediately after death. It's very psychological and a deep scrape into Tim's grieving head before he even realises he's grieving. The horror in this is slow and it sets in like the decay of a human body. It's so deliciously creeping and will have you shivering even if there's no ghosts except for the one's in Tim's mind. The Little Neighbor - @oberonbronze - Length: 27k - Genre: Horror, Vampires, a Little Grave in the Dark and Mysterious Woods

This one is the newest on this list because, well, it posted as I was making this list and I stopped to swallow it all in one go. This one features one Dick trying to bond with his new little brother, Jason, by exploring the woods behind Wayne Manor. Nothing could possibly go wrong! I would encourage you to read without getting too deep in the tags, because it sets you up for maximum twists. It's a true horror feature that reminds me of Hereditary and Rosemary's Baby, so if you like something along those lines just go in blind! it's life after death (roll the credits) & when the bodies hit the floor - nashequilibrium - Length: 6k & 7k - Genre: Supernatural Horror, Siblinghood, Spooky Stories Told Around a Campfire Two for the price of one! I recommend both of these stories for those who love lighter horror more in the vein of Scooby Doo. Both of these fics feature sibling pairs - Dick & Jason in one and Steph & Damian in the other - investigating some mysterious happenings. These are both fun little romps and the dialogue is excellent.

Finally...

Not quite a recc, but I know a lot of people like to know what I've been up to, me and @spookyprime have been working on a Batman fancomic together and we are about ready to start posting it. It's a medical mystery and a horror story set in 1910s Europe. We will be posting it here: @vivisection-of-a-surgeon-comic . I've written out a more in-depth synopsis in that blog and you can give it a follow if you're curious.

So happy reading and happy halloween! I hope your nights are bitter and spooky.

~ Kay

[artemis-moonsilver]

Opinions No One Asked For™️: Palia NPC Edition

Auni: I love this kid. I want him to think of me as a cool older sister or cool aunt. I bring him bugs every chance I get

Ashura: I want him to be my dad. Genuinely love him. Serious contender to be my Shepp

Badruu: He really turned the puns up to 11. I love him. Also want him to be my dad. And possibly my Shepp

Caleri: I wasn't too sure about her, but after getting to know her, I feel like we have quite a few similarities. Definitely want to be her friend. Could she be my Shepp? 👀

Chayne: I find him so calming. He also feels dad-like to me. 100% want him as a support figure/father figure regardless of who I choose as my Shepp

Delaila: Love talking to her. Really want to get to know her better at this point (but 100% want her to win all the prizes at farmers markets/festivals)

Einar: Absolutely adorable and I love him. Only platonically tho. I will give him as many Gils and shiny rocks as he wants

Elouisa: I wasn't sure at first, but I LOVE her unhinged theories. I want to be her best friend. I will investigate all the paranormal things with her. Contender for my Shepp. Girl let's go ghost hunting

Eshe: So snobby. So bougie. So bitchy. I wish she could be my Shepp 😫 (if only because it would be entertaining)

Hassian: First impressions? What an asshole. After some time, I am...intrigued. I want to figure him out. I want to know why he is the way he is. Also fucking love Tau, the gooodest boi

Hekla: Honestly... she freaked me out a little for a long time. I'm slowly coming around though

Hodari: Listen, I get it. I see where you all are coming from. But man's just not my type 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jel: Oh Jel, my beloved. I'm not exactly subtle about it. This man is my husband. Sad, skinny, pathetic, dramatic, goth guys are My Type™️. Would marry him like, yesterday 🥀😫🪡🖤😍

Jina: At first I wasn't sure, but the more I talk to her, I'm like, "Jina, my bestie." I'm a PhD student. I feel you. Also, WOMEN IN STEM, HELL YEAH!!!! I have a feeling we're gonna be great friends

Kenji: Not a fan of your extremely privileged life ("Have you tried inheriting property?" 😐😐😐) or the invasive chapaa situation... but I also don't dislike him as much as I thought. I feel like he's playing a role he doesn't really want to, but still enjoying/expecting the high life for little to no effort

Kenyatta: She should be my best friend. I was put off at first, but she is the coolest. I see quite a few aspects of myself in her

Nai'O: I feel like he's the sweetest boi ever. I'm both like, "He deserves better than Kenyatta" and "Kenyatta is good for him." Perhaps the most wholesome NPC

Najuma: I also want to be the cool older sister and/or cool aunt that she never had. This kid is a badass and smart as hell. I wish my friendship with her was better already

Reth: This man. I love him. I'm not sure if it's platonic or romantic yet. All I know is he's one of my favourite NPCs to talk to. He's funny, he's flirty, he's got a Tragic Backstory™️. I'm here for this soup boi whether he wants it or not

Sifuu: Two words: Bad. Ass. It's a crime that we can't romance her. I really want to ask her to be my Shepp, but I'm not sure it's a good fit

Tamala: I'm sorry, Tamala besties, but I just don't like her 😭 I really wanted to like her so bad, but her aggressive flirting paired with her unwillingness to consider me a friend/equal just rubs me the wrong way

Tish: Absolutely beautiful person. I want to be her bffl. That is all

Zeki: Crime Cat, my beloved. He is the most entertaining Shepp option (imo). He's got an eye patch, a gold tooth, and shady practices. I find him amusing. I want him to like me. Share his (dubiously acquired) riches with me. Please accept me into the black market. I won't tell, but I can't promise I'll participate (I probably will 👀)

[armandfucker]

IWTV FICS I READ THIS MONTH

- two on the road and one at the resurrection by gaypiratedivorce ‘After a month in Dubai, Daniel Molloy is back home and miraculously alive, eager to get to work on his first draft. The vampire Armand has other plans.’

This was so good I read it instead of sleeping for 2 nights. Old man Daniel!!!! My guy!! Perfect old Daniel/Armand fic. Also loved the writing style.

- Truth and Reconcilliation by GrayGiantess. ‘Armand moved through the dark of the penthouse feeling like a ghost.

The interview was over. And Louis was gone.

Daniel was still there – a small miracle – but Armand had been avoiding him, afraid he would leave too.

In which Armand and Daniel have an important and somewhat overdue conversation about the past and the future.’

Another old man Daniel/Armand. It’s my favourite thing atm. I’m re reading it right now.

Sequel to this:

- Cheerful Oblivion by vitamin_kay ‘Louis de Pointe du Lac, the wealthy successor to America's largest liquor distributor, stuns the public by pleading guilty to the murder of his own brother, Paul. As investigators scramble to uncover the motive behind this heinous act, Louis remains tight-lipped, offering no answers to questions that surround the case. Will Louis serve his sentence in peace and repay his debt to society, or will his enigmatic cell mates help him embrace the monster that is memory and fight for his freedom?’

Lestat/Louis, SO MUCH ANGST THIS KILLED ME. Loved the background characters so much.

-Remembrance by bandedbulbussnarfblat ‘AU of season 1 where Daniel remembers the devil's minion era.’

In my notes I wrote HEAVY FUCKING ANGST. IIRC this one includes Daniel almost killing himself from an overdose and Armand taking his memories.

Anyway come and talk to me about these fics!!!! I’m loving all the amazing writing- we are being BLESSED

[pandemoniumskey]

Possession - Zak Bagans x Reader

The Masterlist

Hio Everybody,

I’m back again with another Zak Bagans fanfiction. Ghost Adventures is definitely one of my favourite T.V. shows ever. I love anything paranormal.

WARNING: CONTAINS A SWEAR WORD, DEMONIC POSSESSION AND A NEAR DEATH EXPRIENCE. 

I hope you enjoy!

Love you all,

Pandemonium

-----------------------------------------------------------

Before you met Zak Bagans you didn’t think you had what it took to be a paranormal investigator. You were often the subject of bad luck and klutziness falling up, down and in one case - on camera - through the stairs. You were able to hurt yourself in ways that people would often find impossible. Just saying, you cut yourself on a marshmallow once while making rice crispy squares... those fuckers hurt when they are harden over the cereal. 

Zak’s presence, however, seemed to be calming the bad luck the longer you were by his side. The more you spent time with him, the less you got hurt. 

It was no secret to the others that you had fallen deeply in love with the Ghost Adventurer. Well, to all but Zak at least. Aaron said he was “clueless about your feelings, like all people who the affection is towards.” And you prayed he was right. 

You and Zak had known each other for a long time. Nobody really believed you guys when you said that you guys had gone to high school together, but in reality you did. You were just a year behind him. 

You had gone to his grad and was his prom date and vice versa. All the time, people thought the two of you were together and it hurt every time the two of you denied it. The affection you had for the man went back so long. 

But you moved forward and now you were a member of the Ghost Adventures team. Which only happened after Zak asked you to fill in for Aaron on an investigation when he was sick. 

Zak claimed that the extra person was needed for this investigation because the location was so big. It took a lot of convincing, but finally you said you would with the condition that you were by his side the entire time. He said it was a deal. 

The investigation went off without a hitch (aside from you falling up the stairs and bursting into laughter). You even went off with a camera on your own in the most dangerous area and captured the best EVP recording the team had ever gotten. 

After the end of the investigation, you told them it had been a lot more fun than you were expecting and they hoped you would join them on another investigation. You denied it saying as much as you loved that night, you really didn’t think it was for you. 

Turns out, you were a big hit. The fans all the time kept messaging you and the rest of the crew wondering when you were going to be back. So you went on another investigation with them. 

The messages of when will you be back turned into messages of when you will be joining the team. This was coupled with the teams begging as well. And so here you were, a year prior, you joined the team to the delight of the fans, and your team.  

And now, you were all on an investigation together at Fairchild Insane Asylum for Incurable Men. The place where men who committed crimes use to go when they were proven mentally instable. And this place was no joke. 

From the moment you set foot inside the entrance, you became a target for the ghosts inside. While on the tour, the guide said this was a dangerous place for women. Due to this place housing only men for such a long time, they starved to see a woman. And because most of their crimes were against women, things tended to get violent. 

You were scared of this place, though you would never admit it on camera or to the people you were on this adventure with. Your shoulders were tense and you were on edge after a long torrent of ghostly assaults. 

So far in the investigation you had been pinched, slapped, poked, pushed with all the marks showing on your skin almost instantly and your hair had been pulled (captured on camera thanks to Billy) by various ghosts all throughout the investigation and it was beginning to fray your nerves. 

Increasingly by the hour you felt drained and sick. On one occasion, you had to sit down before you passed out. You did not feel like yourself and the others had begun to notice. 

Zak ordered Billy to take your camera so you had one less thing to worry about and asked you if you needed to leave. You shook your head no, you didn’t think you could leave even if you wanted to. It felt like this place had a hold on you. 

So for the rest of the investigation, you were clutching Zak’s arm tightly and using his camera and his body as a guide throughout the large building. Apparently, the residence of the asylum did not like this one bit. 

Your small group stopped for a moment while Zak pulled the SLS camera out of its case. The area you were in was known as ‘Figure Alley’ due to the number of shadow people that presented themselves down this hallway. 

The moment you let go of Zak’s arm you felt dizzy. “(Y/N),” Aaron called out, you turned in his direction, just barely being able to make out his outstretched hand in the darkness. You reached for it knowing after all that the SLS camera was a two handed job at times. 

“Nothing so far,” Zak commented just as you reached Aarons hand. 

“Maybe (Y/N) should try calling out to the spirits, they like her the most...”

You gave a sarcastic laugh, but pulled out your voice recorder. It was a special one, with only six in the world that only picked up sounds. When the area was silent, it was not recording, it was an incredible little device, and your most prized possession.

“Hello, we already know you are out there, make yourself known to us! Make a noise, prove to us that you are strong enough to do something,” almost as soon as you had said that, there was a crash in the room directly beside you. 

Stumbling to your right, you went to investigate. The others entered the room and you looked through a camera, the filling cabinet had been knocked over. Old files and papers scattered the floor. One face stuck out. 

“Anderson was that you?” You shouted out, the recorder still going. Anderson was the most active ghost in this area, and the most violent. He came to the asylum after he tortured and murdered 15 women. “If that was you, do something else!” 

In an instant you dropped to your knees after a searing pain in your back had formed. You couldn’t move, your back felt like fire.

“(Y/N)!” The others called out in fear. All three camera’s caught your fall. 

“My back,” was all you could struggle to get out of your mouth. 

Zak POV 

The second he heard the pain in your voice he was concerned. Quickly he passed the SLS camera over to Aaron and called over the radio to Jay to get over here quick. 

He knelt down next to you scrabbling to get his flashlight on so he could look at your back. Once it was out and he twisted it on, he gently lifted your shirt. You shifted and groaned. Your face was in your hands and it concerned him more. 

“I’m sorry honey,” he knew his nickname for you would calm you in most circumstances. He slowly lifted the rest of your shirt and shown the light on your back. 

It was his turn to gasp. “Holy fuck,” there was an upside down cross made up of six long slashes across your back, all but one of them were bleeding. “Put your camera on this, it needs to be documents. These are likely going to need bandages or something.”

“What?” you said with worry and Zak felt his heart skip a beat at the terror in your voice. He took a picture of it and showed you and saw a tear fall from your normally bright (E/C) eyes. 

“There’s a figure kneeling over her,” Aaron said in alarm.

Now Zak had enough. He’d be damned if he was going to let these spirits harm you more than this. He asked you multiple times throughout the investigation if you could handle all the touching and you said you could, but after this, it was too much. 

“We’re ending the investigation here,” he said and passed Aaron the case for the SLS camera that he began packing up. 

“You needed me here Zak?” Jay said rounding the corner. “Yeah, I need you to take my gear while I help (Y/N). This investigation is over.”

He looked out over the building, he was angry, “you cannot touch her anymore!”

Then he scooped you up into his arms, he had never seen you so fragile before. His words seemed to have carried a negative effect on the patients in the asylum. As he made his way into the hallway, he was shoved by the invisible hands and as he stumble, an invisible obstacle caused him to go crashing to the floor. 

You let out a groan, arching your back after it bounced off the floor. Zak felt terrible, apologizing over and over as he tried getting to his feet to help you again. 

Billy, Jay and Aaron ran forward to help, but before they got close, Zak felt you get wrenched out of his grasp. 

“Zak!” You cried out in fear before you were being pulled out of sight by an unseen force. “ZAK!”

“(Y/N)!” He cried out and ran to find where you went. 

***

It took the better part of an hour of hard searching to locate you. Billy called out to the group saying he found you. 

Zak’s heart was pounding with relief as he ran to where you were. One look at you and he knew something was wrong. He did not get close enough to touch you and the others looked at him confused. 

Without warning, you shot up from the ball you were in and hurtled forward, hands stretched out and quickly wrapping themselves around his neck. 

He gasped, barely managing to yank your grip from his throat and pin you down. 

You struggled, screaming and cursing in a voice and language that wasn’t yours. You were possessed and he needed to find a way to help you before you ended up dead. 

“Get a priest!” He shouted as the thing inside you struggled to get out of his grasp. “Get someone who can get this demon out of her!”

Jay was gone in a flash and Zak began to pray aloud, harder than he had ever prayed before. 

“God doesn’t exist...” it hissed along with its string of insults. “God can’t help you. She’s gone..”

“Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

“She is screaming for you to stop.”

“Give us this day our daily bread.”

“You’re killing her.... Your killing her!”

“And lead us not into temptation.”

“She will never love you again.” He did not falter as it said this. He struggled with his grasp on the love of his life, but he did not let go. 

“But deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen!”

“She hates you,” it kicked out at him and he struggled. He called out to his love. 

“(Y/N), I know you’re in there. You need to fight. Fight to push it, I’ll help you. You can use my strength.”

You were beginning to show visible signs of the possession, your skin was pale and large bruises and cuts began forming on your body. 

They formed before his eyes, but he would not stop. 

He began to pray again, and after what felt like ages, a priest arrived and the exorcism began. 

Listening to (Y/N)’s screams of pain broke his heart. He knew most of it was the entity, but there were moments, the screams of it were mixed with your feminine cries of pain. 

He continued to pray. It’s all he could do, it was what was keeping him sane. “She needs encouragement,” the priest said and Zak switched his prayers to a little mantra by (Y/N)’s head, running his fingers through your knotted hair.

“You’ve got this. Fight it. You can beat it, you are strong,” and that repeated for half and hour. 

“We’re losing her,” the priest said, causing Zak alarm. 

“(Y/N), YOU NEED TO FIGHT THIS! FOR AARON! FOR BILLY! FOR JAY! FIGHT FOR ME (Y/N), I LOVE YOU!” and he planted a kiss on your lips. 

You screamed, your back arching and then you were limp. Zak felt for a pulse, it was weak, but it was there. “Is it out of her?”

The priest flicked holy water on you and it did not sizzle, this was (Y/N) again. “We need an ambulance.”

Jay was on the phone once more to get you medical help. Zak picked you up and hurriedly carried you to the entrance. Once he made it to the doorway, he did something he rarely did. 

“You may not follow us. You are to stay here. You do not have permission to come.”

The flashing lights came just as your eyes opened. “Zak?”

“(Y/N), don’t speak. You’ve just been through hell.”

You nodded, to weak to do more than that. 

***

Your POV

You woke up in the hospital. You turned your head seeing the guys sitting around your bed. All of them were asleep which you thought was cute. 

You tried moving your hand, and realized it was locked in Zak’s grip, which you honestly did not mind at all. His hand was warm and soft, you wished you could hold it more often and not just when you almost died because of a possession. 

A nurse entered the room in that moment, “ah your awake!”

Her words woke the guys in an instant and you giggled at their groggy expressions. Zak’s face instantly lit up with happiness. 

“I guess I am awake yeah,” you said quietly. Your throat was dry and scratchy. “Water.”

Zak grabbed a glass and gave it to you. You finished it in three gulps holding it out for more. He poured more in and you downed that one as well. Once you were done that glass, you gave a sigh. Your throat felt much better. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Zak asked. 

“I remember being dragged down the hall, and a lot of struggling,” you said. “That thing was constantly showing me pictures of your deaths. Saying I was going to be the reason you all died. Things went dark for a long time, and the next thing I remember is you saying you loved me and something on my lips, then everything went black.”

Zak gave you a sheepish look. So clearly, the thing on your lips were his lips and you were so damn disappointed with yourself that you didn’t feel the joy of it. “By the way, I love you too.”

The first look was instantly replaced with one of happiness. He stood up leaning over. His hand resting beside your head. 

Then his lips were against yours again and everything was focused on him. You wrapped your arms around his neck the best you could. Fireworks exploded around you. You were on cloud nine, here with Zak and forgetting the rest of the guys were in the room. 

It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat in the background that you and Zak broke apart. His cheeks were set in a blush and you could tell yours were too.

“A little warning next time would be nice,” Aaron said joking around. “Congrats, both of you for finally getting together. The tension was real for a long time there.”

You laughed. You now felt complete. You were so glad you had Zak and the rest of the crew in your life. Things were just made a little sweeter now that Zak was finally yours. 

The episode aired a month later, it showed everything up to the point of your possession. which they cut from the show, choosing to have Zak standing out front of the large building and saying what happened. By far, it was the most popular episode you guys ever filmed. 

[nfcomics]

Resident Alien Omnibus Volume 2 • cover art • Steve Parkhouse [June 2023]

A stranded alien explorer—hiding in plain sight—has been posing as a doctor and solving crimes in the small town of Patience, Washington. After Harry accidentally exposes himself to investigators who are on his trail, a mysterious arsonist and a stubborn federal agent arrive in town to heat things up!

The local sheriff must decide if he’ll remain loyal to his inquisitive friend Harry, and nurse Asta finally realizes the danger she and Harry are both in.

Peter Hogan (2000 AD, Tom Strong) and Steve Parkhouse (War Birds, Milkman Murders) continue their unique, acclaimed science-fiction/murder-mystery series!

This omnibus collects the Resident Alien graphic novels Volumes 4 to 6, The Man with No Name, An Alien in New York, and Your Ride’s Here, along with the Free Comic Book Day 2022 short story “The Ghost.”

The series that inspired the SYFY original television series, starring Alan Tudyk!

(w) Peter Hogan • (a/ca) Steve Parkhouse

“A pitch-perfect narrative from two of my favourite creators.” —Alan Moore

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Hello once again dear friends!

It is June, and with it, comes the annual Skeptic Believer Book Club LONG READ.

For the entire month of June, the book club gets together and reads a chunky boi, a fic of over 45k words. We had some absolutely stellar nominations this time, and some close votes, but we did arrive at a winner and it was was 6HoST Air by ÉcrivainFantôme.

This casefic is set in the early 90s, and features a Ryan with an underground radio show, a Shane who shows up to skeptic Ryan’s believer, and the team up of the decade, all centered around a mystery that has kept the book club guessing! This week, we finished it up together. We decided, that in addition to our usual book club thoughts, we’d solicit creative submissions as well, some of those are below.

Rating: E

Summary: The year is 1993 and Ryan Bergara runs a semi-popular underground radio show for “6H0ST Air” under the pseudonym ‘The Revenant’. Each week, he regales his listeners with unsolved crime stories and supernatural disturbances, asking them for their own theories and stories that they can post on his forum.Soon, another poster starts populating his forum - a person by the name of $K3PT1C who enjoys poking holes in everyone’s theories.The show will be forever changed when the two decide to team up to discuss and research, using a more… hands-on approach.

Book Club Thoughts

my favourite part of ryan's characterisation in this fic is his very real life canon way of like. he so clearly feels the things he feels but his own anxiety categorises his feelings in the most convoluted fucking way the emotional payoff in this fic is just so good I also like the descriptions in this fic in general, like when they go to investigate the warehouse or the roadtrips it's very cinematic and you can easily imagine how it looks like the atmosphere of a ghost hunt was captured so well, they felt tense and creepy, and I want to see Ryan continuing to grow as a ghost hunter in whatever comes next.

Creative Submissions

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[cherryatombomb]

The Haunting of the Miller House

John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

a/n: for now, this is a oneshot, but could turn into a series depending on reception! this is a buzzfeed unsolved au, where soap is a paranormal investigator, and ghost is his demon companion. he's unaware he's a demon, of course! no warnings apply, besides a few minor descriptions of violence that comes with hauntings. read on ao3 !!

The video starts. Two men stand aside one another; one is shorter, though in reality stands at around 6”0. He has a mohawk and is dressed in relatively light clothes – a flannel shirt over a white, plain tee, and faded blue jeans. He’s wearing trainers and excitedly smiles at the camera. His companion stands impossibly tall, at 6”5, and is wearing a darker outfit then his friend. A beanie covers his head, black and plain, and the lower half of his face is covered by a plain black facemask. Despite it being late at night, he’s wearing sunglasses. A black hoodie with skeletal ribs around the right area on his stomach, black jeans, and combat boots finish his outfit off. In every way, he looks like his partner’s opposite.

“The Miller household was once a lovely house in a nice suburban area, bought by a young, budding couple, excited to start their new life together,” The smaller one begins to speak, his voice dramatic, clearly getting into telling a story. His accent is Scottish, though it isn’t too thick, at this moment. “As soon as they moved in, however, things began to seem out of place. A bump in the night, lights switching on and off, or a TV being on when they had definitely turned it off. Things came to a head, however, when they claimed to see a figure in the night-”

A scoff escapes the taller man. The smaller man shakes his head in amusement and continues.

“-One that continued to haunt them. Scratches, bruises, furniture being pushed around, and perhaps one of my favourite pieces of evidence to date.” A picture shows on the screen of a dark room. Outside the window appears to be a figure, peering at the window, though it's only the outline – there are no discernible features.

“Photoshop,” The tall man muses.

The Scotsman rolls his eyes, though his smile betrays his affection. “I’m John MacTavish – though you can call me Soap, and this is my ‘partner’,” Soap nudges his partner’s side, giving him an expectant look. The man in question blinks slowly at him before he seems to register what’s going on.

He huffs.

“I’m Simon Riley. Ghost.”

“A man of many words, aye?” A snicker escapes John, and it’s difficult to see Simon’s reaction – though his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners.

“Either way, I’m a wholehearted believer in ghosts. My partner is a skeptic. In this series, I tour some of my favourite haunted locations, whilst also trying to prove to him that ghosts are real!” Soap’s hands clasp together excitedly, and as an intro begins to play, the ironically named Ghost mumbles a few things about ‘photoshop’ and ‘hallucinations.

The intro gives some music, and some more information about the house, as it plays some shots of the house in the background. It looks like a generic house on the outside, though its inside clearly reflects its abandoned state – classic interior, fitting of the past. The Miller House is a hot spot for paranormal activity, apparently, thousands of believers from all over the world come to visit and come away firmly in belief of the paranormal.

The intro finishes with a flash of the title, before returning to the two partners. They stand inside the house, now – Ghost is forced to crouch to get through a doorway without hitting his head.

“This is the living room. Where the TVs used to turn on without anybody being there – the lights often switched off and on in this room, too,” Soap explains, looking around the room with trepidation in his features.

“Maybe the ghosts just wanted to watch TV. Did they think about that?” Ghost questions, his voice amused, even when his face betrays nothing but seriousness.

“Well, when paranormal activity occurs, there tend to be problems with electricity, so it might be that-”

“They definitely want to watch TV. All ghosts are from the medieval period, right? I’d want to watch TV without it killing me. Maybe the Simpsons. Maybe just the news.”

Soap does his best to seem annoyed with his words, his arms folding across his chest, but an amused laugh escapes him, nonetheless. It seems to put him at ease, more relaxed in the dark house, now. “It’s a nice living room,” He finally relents, grinning.

“Better than ours,”

“Our living room is lovely!”

“Remember the wine-”

Ghost is cut off by a glare from Soap. The look lingers, before the shot changes once more.

Now, they stand in front of the stairs, looking up at them. There are a few pieces of leftover decorations along the wall by the stairs, just a few paintings, but it’s nothing that daunting. It’s dark upstairs, and both men have different expressions on their features.

Ghost looks nonplussed. Even behind the mask, everything about his stance reads casual and calm. Soap, on the other hand, is staring upstairs like it might kill him, immediately.

“Maybe we could… put some lights on, eh?”

“No. Gotta prepare you for your solo run, MacTavish,” A hand is placed on his shoulder, and it’s difficult to see behind the mask, but Ghost is grinning at him. Soap huffs right back in response, before gesturing to the stares, “Ladies first!”

A chuckle escapes the man in hand, but he allows the other to hide behind him as he walks upstairs. When he reaches the top, followed by Soap, his eyes flit around the long hallway, before focusing on a single spot. His eyes narrow momentarily, catching even his companion’s attention.

“See somethin’?” More of Soap’s accent slips out when he’s nervous, apparently, anxiety intensifying thanks to the skeptic's sudden focus.

There’s a momentary silence as he simply continues glaring. The camera zooms in to where he appears to be looking, and there seems to be nothing but empty space.

“Nice painting,” that silence is suddenly broken, and the camera pulls back in time to see Soap’s eyes widen, then let out a laugh.

“Ye right scunner!” Soap exclaims between laughter, nudging his side in what seems to be a chide for scaring him. Once more, his accent thickens with his emotions – now with righteous indignation at being frightened by his partner. A knowing look in his eyes betrays that this isn’t the first time.

“English, MacTavish,”

“Och, fuck you,” Despite the seeming irritation in his words, he’s grinning fondly. The duo walks to the end of the hallway and step into a nearby room. It’s the bedroom, clearly.

“This is where Elizabeth Miller and Daniel Miller were sleeping peacefully one night before a loud crash woke them up,” Soap begins to explain, and he looks enthusiastic about this explanation. He looks around the room, gesturing wildly as he speaks.

This time, Ghost does not interrupt him. Instead, he watches, fondly.

“Both got up to inspect the crash, together, knowing that they’ve had a few incidents with the paranormal before, when Elizabeth sees a figure in the corner. Before she can warn her partner, the figure rushes forwards and sends her flying across the room. Daniel is sent the same way. They both rush out of the house, different items being flung at them – plates, glasses, even a book – before they make it out.”

“I’d love to fight a ghost, one day,” Simon interjects, seeming unable to resist.

Seeming typical of the two, John just stares at him for a moment, before forging on.

“They go to hospital, get treated for their injuries – some scratches, like deep claws, and Elizabeth broke a rib. Daniel made it away with only a sprained wrist and scratches. This room is considered the most haunted place in the house – different paranormal investigators have come here, and have claimed to hear voices, whispers, or the sensation of being touched.” His explanation finished, Soap looks around the room, as if expecting someone to jump out at them at any time.

“If any demons would like to… steal my heart, they’re more than welcome to,” Simon begins, walking around the room like he owns the place, “Hell, whilst you’re at it, why not steal Johnny’s heart? Just take it out. Maybe throw us across the room. Let’s fight. I can fight.”

“Don’t drag me into your shit, eejit!” Soap complains at him, backing away as if to form a physical barrier between them. “I like my heart where it is?”

“You’re no fun,” Simon sighs softly, as if truly forlorn, but his shoulders shake with quiet laughter.

Once more, the scene shifts, back to both being outside. Simon is wearing a helmet with a camera on it, able to catch his face without having to use his hands. There are walkie-talkies in both of their hands.

“Welcome to my least favourite part of the investigation – the solo investigation! This time, both me and Simon will work through every room in the house, trying to reach out to whatever ghosts – or demons! - inhabit the house, separately,”

“I look ridiculous,”

“You look… handsome?”

Ghost glares at Soap. The latter grins unrepentantly, before shooing him inside.

Once more, the camera shifts – this time, it’s a close-up of Ghost’s face as he walks through the house. It’s dark, and his eyes can be seen drifting around the room, looking the epitome of calm and relaxed, despite being in a supposed haunted hotspot. The video shifts between different clips of him taunting his namesake:

“Reckon I could take a ghost in a fight,”

“You want to scratch me up? Come on, then. Wait, that sounds…”

“What did the ghost say when it crashed the Halloween party? I’m here for the boos,”

At the last pun, the camera snaps back outside, to where Soap is sitting comfortably in his seat. “I bet he’s telling shitty jokes, the asshole,” fondness drips from his tone, “getting them all riled up for me, I’m tellin’ you! Next time, I’m goin’ in first. Then we’ll see who gets freaked out,”

The camera snaps back, just in time to see Ghost hit his head against the door he’s trying to walk through. He glares at the camera as if trying to inform every viewer not to say anything about it, before making his way upstairs.

His journey skips to the bedroom, once more, uneventful. The room is dark as he steps inside, and this time, he remembers to duck down to avoid hitting his head.

“This is where that picture Johnny likes was taken,” he muses, looking over at the window. Closer, he wanders, then uses his fingers to make the ‘I’m watching you’ sign as if there’s something he can see out the window. “Any demons want to use me as a vessel?” He asks, turning and lazily spinning around in the room as if to try and tempt them. There's amusement in his tone, lazy confidence, like he knows there’s nothing here, or, if there is, that it would never dare to touch him.

“Time’s up, Ghost,” Johnny calls through his walkie-talkie.

“See you next time, demons. Give Johnny a fright for me. He hates hearing footsteps in other rooms. Nothing more, though. Don’t want to give him a heart attack,” he muses, beginning the trek downstairs. There’s a tapping sound on the wall as he walks past, a tap, pause, then another tap. He walks on like he doesn’t notice a thing.

There’s a change in perspective as Ghost steps outside, so both are in view. Rather dramatically, Ghost staggers out of the house, staring at his partner with wide eyes.

“What?” Immediately, Soap is moving closer, concerned.

“They spoke to me,”

“What?” Soap looks frantic, terrified, and intrigued, all in one.

“I can hardly boo-lieve it,”

A groan escapes John. He gives Ghost a look like he killed his cat.

Ghost just looks proud of himself.

There’s a pregnant pause, before the camera switches, and Soap is the one in the house. His shoulders are drawn, tense, walking around the house. “C’mon, ghosts. Give me something. Wanna… tug on my shirt? I’ve got some nice arms; you want to touch them?” As his arms lift, showing off his biceps, footsteps ring out from upstairs.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Somehow, even in the night vision of the camera, it’s clear all the colour has left his face.

“That’s fine. Yeah, everything’s fine. Better than fine,” He continues his walk through the downstairs rooms, now in the living room, “I can walk around, too. See? Hear my feet?” His feet thud loudly against the floor.

There seems to be no response.

“Yeah! That’s what I fuckin’ thought! Ye bawbags, nothin’ but cowards!”

Perspective shifts and they’re outside for a moment. Ghost is standing with a walkie-talkie in his hands, seemingly mid-conversation with someone behind the camera, before indecipherable Scottish yelling is heard from the building. He seems to be taunting the ghosts.

“He’s yelling at them already? Thought he’d last longer,” Simon deadpans, staring at the camera for a few moments longer. It falls silent, apart from the sounds of John’s panicked yelling.

His eyes crinkle at the corners, indicating a smile, just as the perspective shifts back to Soap.

The man has made his way upstairs and is staring into the open bedroom door with fear in his eyes, but also some feral anger. That’s how he copes, it seems.

“This where you were stompin’ ‘round earlier? C’mon out!” He steps inside, looking around the room manically. “Show yourself! You wanna fight? I can fight! I can handle some scratches!”

Various threats of different levels are sent into the still room, yet this time, there’s no response, no footsteps.

Relief floods onto his face as the walkie-talkie crackles to life, and Ghost’s voice speaks up, “Your five minutes are up, now,”

“Coming!” Soap calls, and he rushes downstairs.

Three taps echo out from the bedroom just as he reaches the front door, and he’s rapidly closing it behind him to avoid dealing with that.

Once more, the camera shifts so they can get a proper view of the duo. Ghost walks over to help Soap out of his gear. “See many ghosts, MacTavish?”

“So many.” He grumbles.

Ghost snickers.

Once more, there’s a shift. John is now out of his gear, and Simon is standing with him, looking at the camera together.

“I think it’s fair to say it’s difficult to know what’s wrong with the Miller house,”

“Nothing. Bit old fashioned, though,” Simon hums.

“It’s spooky!” John insists.

Ghost chuckles.

“Well, whatever we believe, skeptic or not, there’s definitely a strange story that comes with the house,” Soap amends, shaking his head in fond amusement. “And I don’t think we found enough proof to swing it either way. So, for now, whether or not the Miller House is haunted remains… unsolved.”

Outro music begins to play, faint, at first, and it’s quiet enough to hear Ghost question ‘Is that a thing, now?’.

The video ends.

[rainsnz]

kazuha — there’s a storm on its way from the east of inazuma. kazuha’s always been sensitive to the weather, but something about this one settles an irritating feeling in his nose that he just can’t seem to get rid of. is this a foreshadowing? (could be pre or post vision hunt decree, whichever you’re comfortable with!)

Hi everyone, Kazuha's my favourite character so obviously he's the one I was going to write for next anyway. Thank you very much for requesting him, I enjoyed this a lot :) Please leave a comment if you enjoyed as it helps me with knowing if I did well or not!

Rainstorm

(Kazuha & friend (unnamed)) (4.4 k words)

As usual, Kazuha knows a storm is coming long before anyone else does.

The acrid sting of lightning mixed with the fresh scent of rain upon saltwater. An unmistakable sensation stirring in his perceptive nose that immediately tells him every last detail of the incoming inclement weather. A sharp sniff of the easterly winds heralds the foreboding forecast.

He thinks nothing of the itch ghosting against the edges of his nasal passages, simply dismissing it with a soft sniffle, a dignified finger against his nostrils. The strong ozone flavor always contrasts so strongly with the gentle hum of precipitation, and tends to awaken a particular tickle in the back of Kazuha’s sensitive nose. That’s not to mention the varying temperatures messing with the delicate balance of his sinuses, nor the cold rain and humidity itself that always invites a sneezing fit or two whenever the storm first makes itself known. It’s still bothersome, though - which is why, with a quiet sigh, he bends his index finger underneath his septum with a gentle rubbing motion.

Rustling sounds beneath him distract Kazuha temporarily from his slight nasal discomfort, and he inclines his head towards his blond companion, a soft smile alighting upon his face. Kazuha’s perched upon a sturdy branch in a tree, above the pile of leaves that they’d slept on, looking out into the breathtaking scenery. The morning truly is a beautiful one, with the rosy dawn’s fingers stretching across peach-coloured clouds, and with birdsong gently caressing the ears, resounding around the forest in which they’d laid to sleep.

“Morning, Kazuha.” A yawn, and the blonde stretches, revelling in the gentle rays of sunshine. Kazuha himself revels in the gentle beauty of his friend, whose boyish features shine in this early light. He fits so well against the forest’s natural glory, with a few stray leaves delicately perched in his pale-golden hair. 

His friend turns to him, the pleasant dreams slipping from him slowly, and a questioning expression replaces his sleepy stupor.

“What’s up?” asks the boy who he’d shared a camp with, eyes trained on Kazuha’s twitching nostrils. He, like many others, has clearly learned that the samurai’s nose has never led anyone astray.

Kazuha hates to break his silence, preferring to listen to the song of the forest and the lovely rustle of leaves in the wind, but he finds it pertinent to inform his friend of his discovery. “Storm’s coming,” Kazuha intones, eyes flicking to the east. “We should get moving if we want to stay dry.” 

The blonde-haired boy frowns, looking at the clear skies broken only by the leafy canopy that they currently sit beneath. “I believe you, Kazuha, but we probably still got a day before it hits, right? I want to investigate what the townspeople were talking about with the herbs in the forest.”

There had been talk of a very rare medicinal herb, native to this region. If they were to collect it and bring it back to the village, they’d be alright for a while, money-wise. Eating random things in the forest had been, well, fine, but both had begun to crave the foods of their upbringing after long days on the road. “Come on, with your nose, we’re practically set.”

“I know that, but…” Kazuha trails off, finger still pressed to his nostrils, scrunching up his irritated nose with another soft sniff. “I-it’s a strong one, I can feel it.” 

He does have to admit that visually, the skies are forecasting a beautifully sunny day, but the sheer itchiness prickling at a particularly sensitive crevice in his nose is screaming that the storm is practically upon them. And - oh, his nose gives a twinge of itchiness, and although the finger digging into his septum has thus far been somewhat effective at staving off the insistent tickle, his nose is no longer so willing to listen - his mouth opens, and his eyes flutter shut, a small gasp the only warning before -

“h-a-aah-Ishh-! h-aAhhisshh! haH-eKSHH-!! h-hah-! …”

Kazuha wavers, eyes still tightly squeezed shut, as the itch rages on in the back of his nose, the sneezes having dispelled exactly none of the irritation; in fact, they may have just fanned the flames. Previously his nose has been experiencing a slight tickle, which has now erupted into a burning sensation not unlike the feeling of firecrackers’ sparks against skin. Only, his nose is so much more sensitive than normal skin, and the slightest itch is starting to make his nostrils flare erratically, mouth snapping open for more -

“hhyiihh-ESHH-! h-iihhISHH’n! h’AKKshh-!!”

The sneezes are stifled against his finger, harsh against his throat, and yet his poor irritated nose begs for more-! Kazuha has no choice, his helpless sniffle leading almost immediately into an itchy sneeze -

“h-iyAHKSHHn-h’kssh-h’iiHKSHh—!” A brief pause, and the samurai lets out a small sigh, rubbing at his reddened nostrils with the back of his hand. Not very dignified, but at least it’s better than wiping it against his sleeve - something he’s resorted to when his nostrils are streaming and he can’t stop sneezing, but now is, thankfully, not that time. 

Worryingly, his nose still itches, the tickle only slightly lessened, still bothering his sensitive nostrils. Kazuha sniffles wetly out of instinct against his hand, keeping it there as he can feel the shadow of a sneeze starting to approach once more.

“Bless you.” His friend’s voice reaches him, but Kazuha shakes his head, his eyes fluttering shut once more as his breaths catch in his throat -

“iih-hiHshh-!! h-ahiSH-! h-ihhhkshh-!!”

A rapid-fire trio of sneezes stifled into the finger jutting into his nostrils, followed by a wet snort-sniffle. Unfortunately that only irritates his nose further and he gasps, nostrils flaring to the size of acorns -

“hih-hiih-hIIHKSHH-! hi-SKHiuu-! hih-h’KSHn-!”

His head is thrown back, hair tossed in the air as he gasps helplessly, lungs spasming - one hand hugs the tree’s trunk while the other catches as many sneezes as possible, “iiiHhiiiTCHH-iiKSSHHIYUH!’kksHIIII-!!” He wavers, breath catching as he’s bent forward, his nose squirming against his palm - “-ihhIHH-hh’-!! h’Kshhyii-! n’kshii-!! h’AKKSHyiii-!!…snff. hi’kshsh-!! ..snffsnff……” A shaky inhale, and despite the itch rattling around in his sinuses he can breathe without falling into a fit. He sniffles again, habitually, and apologetically rubs his nose as he casts his gaze downwards at the other man. The rubbing does not seem to be relieving the tickle, and he can’t stop sniffling in a fruitless attempt to quiet his complaining nostrils.

His companion peers up at him, an affectionate grin reflecting the sunlight. “Better get out of that tree before you sneeze yourself off the branch.”

On another day, Kazuha might have retorted - there’s never any danger of losing his balance, as he’d trained for many years to be as agile as he is now, but the slight teasing tickle keeps his mouth shut for fear of yet another sneeze escaping. Instead he leaps down, landing lightly on his - 

The samurai stumbles, taking another step to balance himself from the rough descent, and the other man catches him up by the arm.

Unsteadily, heart beating a bit faster from the unexpected surprise of losing his footing, Kazuha smiles sheepishly at his friend. “Th-thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” His comrade hums, already walking deeper into the forest. “Now c’mon, we gotta get going if we want to beat the storm you were talking about.”

…

A rosy sunrise blossoms into a quiet morning. The birds are not singing their usual fare, and if Kazuha hadn’t already smelt the lightning on the air he would have found their absence alarming. In fact, it is rather unnerving to walk in this strange atmosphere, when all the creatures have scattered or hidden in preparation for the storm; he feels rather vulnerable, out here in the forest, not knowing any good escape routes.

“You’ve been sniffling a lot,” Kazuha’s friend notes, as they cross a stream. “Guess it makes sense, since we’re relying on your nose right now.”

Kazuha himself had not really noticed, so he only hums noncommittally in response. He has to focus in order not to reflexively sniffle after his friend has pointed it out, instead settling with a cautious finger against the sensitive appendage. 

His nose has been itching almost non-stop. It’s making the task a thousand times harder than it should be, making tracing a faint leafy scent analogous to pinpointing a specific fragrance in a perfume shop. Every slight sniff and change of scenery fills his nose with sensations that would normally only be slightly tickly, now filling his nose with a magnified itch that he wants badly to clear with a strong sneeze.

“Which way now?” The voice breaks him from his musings and Kazuha blinks, before tilting his head to the side, sniffing softly.

Following the fragile scent is difficult enough when his nose is terribly distracted by an itch teasing, flickering at the back of his nose. Inhaling purposefully sends another tickle against the agonizingly-sensitive reddened rims; a hand flies up against his nostrils, cupping the suddenly-flaring entrances with a weak barrier of protection. A breathless gasp - “-ehh-scuse me-“ a slight wiggle to his ticklish nostrils - “ehehh..!” and he’s past the point of no return as his eyes squeeze shut into his hand - “eeHEHH-KShYiii-!! e-hKSHII!! e-e-hhKSHHIyuu-!! heh-ISHH—!”

A soft moan; Kazuha sniffles against his hand, grimacing slightly at the mess, and the beginnings of congestion that the sneezing hasn’t solved - he can already tell from his own fluttering gasps that his nose isn’t quite finished, and his eyes are shut even before he can open them to see his friend’s questioning gaze - 

“-hh.. hi’ihh-!!”

Another wavering gasp, an agonizing pause - 

“..ihihh-..”

For a moment Kazuha contemplates picking up a flower and taking a sharp sniff to clear his tickly sinuses by force. Every hitching gasp, torturously teasing at his senses, is making this idea less of an idea and more of a reality.

“-hh-iiiihh-h.!”

He needs the sneeze out now, his nostrils impossibly wide as they suffer from the whims of the tickle.

“iiiihh-h-..!”

Streaming eyes open against the world, and he grasps the stem of a hanging blossom, dangling from vines above, pressing his flaring nostrils into its sweet pollen -

“-HhIIIIHHHEKSSHHIYYUUUUUU- h’IIKKSSHHIIU-hh-ehhIIYYEESHHH-iiESSHIIIUU-!!!”

Petals scatter to the sudden wind as his head jerks backward, an angry tickle burning through his suffering nose like the fuse on fireworks -! 

“iiiHhiiH-ISSHH-!! h-ahh-!! h-AAKKSHH!! h’AKKSHIIYYUU-! h’kkSHHIIIIehh-!!”

Kazuha does not regret much about his life, but as he hitches desperately, his nostrils trying to violently empty themselves of the fragrance and the storm of pollen currently plaguing them, he counts this amongst the things he wishes he hadn’t -

“iiYYEESHHIIIU-iiEEKKSHHIYUUUU!! hii’hKSSHHYIUU-h’ii-ihhKKSSHHIIIEEHH-!!”

Burning throughout his nostrils summons a heaving gasp, his lungs bending like jelly to the whims of his sinuses’ attempt to expel the itch and, now, the pollen. Normally the fragrance of flowers already sends Kazuha into a helpless fit; the combination of his debilitating itch, borne from the ominous promise of storm clouds that he can’t quite shake, and this new sharp intake of pure hay-fever torture, is his downfall. His eyes are burning and itching, but that’s nothing compared to the absolute disaster that is currently fluttering at the walls of his extremely sensitive nasal passages like a thousand leaves in a hurricane; he can barely draw air into his lungs fast enough to compensate, the sneezes bursting out in spiraling fits swiftly -

“-hihi-IIEESCH-!h’YIIIIESSHH-hh-iiiIYYEESHH-h’yyiIIIIEESHHHIIUUU!!!”

Desperate sneezes against his steepled hands attempt to expel the irritants, his nose’s sensitivities protesting the strength of the invading allergens.

“-’YIIIEESHHH-iiuuuu-!! h’iIIEYYYIIEESHHH!!......snfffff-!!”

He recovers with a wet sniffle. It seems that the fight against the omnipresent itch has been won, at least for now, as it once again settles into a background drone. On the other hand, the fight against being an absolute mess of snot is one he is not eager to face. It’s time to resort to - Kazuha’s cheeks flush with embarrassment, awkwardly guiding his hands away from the absolute disaster as he peeks over the edge of his sleeve.

“uhhhnn…” another timid sniffle and he hides his dripping nose behind the cloth on his arm. “..Sorry.”

His friend’s smile is one of sympathy; he digs around in his pocket and produces a square of fabric. With one hand he shakes it out and extends it to the samurai. “Here.”

Kazuha’s free hand accepts the cloth scrap gratefully. “My thanks.” Quickly he pulls it over the bridge of his nose, pressing his hands over it to conceal the mess. He blows his nose, as softly as he can manage, as his friend watches on patiently. When that doesn’t rid his nostrils of the itch he tries again, the sound embarrassingly wet and obnoxious, reminiscent of an ailing horn - yet still woefully weak against the towering foe of nasal irritation. The snot gurgles, wet and sticky, out of his quivering nostrils and into the now-soggy folds of the cloth, and it’s mortifying.

Kazuha could have stood there blowing his nose for hours, trying to dull the blade of itchy torture sharpening its distracting sensation against his nasal passages - yet something tells him that this itching feeling won’t leave him very easily. Self-conscious of the expectant gaze upon him, he inhales deeply, steeling himself to try to search the forest once more.

The samurai’s eyes are watering, yet he still sniffles, nostrils flaring as he tries to catch the scent of the herb, and that’s definitely a mistake right after an attempt of clearing his nose - in rushes a cacophony of starkly contrasting scents, which had formerly been dulled by the congestion plugging his passageways. Layers of horribly strong, torturously tickly fragrances of flowers and leaves and dirt and the looming threat of a storm - dizzying, leaving his mouth snapping open, his face once again ducking into the safety of the cloth - 

“-hh’ah-! h-aHH-iSHH!! haHHkSHH!! h’aKKSHHII-!!”

The blonde-haired companion has been trying not to call too much attention to Kazuha’s sniffly dilemma, but at this point the samurai’s suffering is too obvious to ignore. “Do you want to take a break or something?”

“ih-hIHKSH-n! ‘ksshnt-! -snf- N-no, I - hh’AKSh-! snf- I’m a-aaaHHKSHH!h’akSHH-!! I’m, alright-‘kkshh!…-snf..” He blasts his nose into the soggy cloth, turning away from his friend’s worried gaze. After a slight pause to catch his breath, he straightens up, trying to conceal his sniffling in the folds of the pseudo-handkerchief. 

Unfortunately, he’s not quite sure where the herbs might be - his nose is certainly very distracted and it’s rather embarrassing to admit. So, holding his breath this time, he walks blindly into the woods where he thinks the scent had been wafting from. As he calls back to his friend, Kazuha has to fight to keep his voice level. “..L-et’s go, th-the skies won’t stay- ihkshh!! snf.. won’t stay-- iiiHHHKSHH-!! ..s-stay clear for long.” (And neither will his sinuses, as he blows his nose again in an effort to trace the herb’s scent once again.)

..

His hand is tightly pressed against his nose, and he squeezes his eyes shut with a quiet stifled fit. “iihKSH! ih-k’shT-! i-i’kSHihh-!!”

He’s far ahead enough of his friend that they’re silent, masked by the sound of rustling leaves. Not so easily hidden is the crimson hue that the rims of his nostrils have taken on, and the steady stream of involuntary sniffles that keep uselessly attempting to rid his sinuses of the annoying itchy feeling. 

“You sure this is the right way?” His friend calls, starting to close the distance, because Kazuha’s starting to slow, unable to see through a hazy fog of itchiness and of tears arising from the forceful fits. “I think we might’ve just walked in a circle. Isn’t this where we camped last night?”

Alarmed, Kazuha stops, blinking the bleariness out of his eyes. His heart sinks as his gaze lands upona very familiar tree. “..Yes, this is indeed where we…” A sharp sniffle interrupts him, and wearily he brings his hand up, rubbing at his nose. “..snf-snff.. I’m sorry, friend, I think.. ihhKSHH-! I think I got confused.”

His blond companion tsks, studying the scenery as he strolls over their former campsite. “You’ve sneezed like, what, a hundred times in the last few minutes alone. Is the smell of the storm that distracting?”

The guilt in the samurai’s stomach twists like a sword. Why can’t he stop sneezing? “I r-really am sorry, I didn’t - snff-! - Didn’t expect - snff-! to be so..snf-..” A scrunched up nose points to the source of his problems, yet he soldiers on, voice wavering more and more dangerously; “Th-the i-itch, it - snff-!!.. snf!..sorry, it- snff-!! ihiiihhh-it’s…”

He pauses, a hand raised to hover under his nostrils. He waits, hoping for the irritation to fade - and, to his dismay, the itch proves too overwhelming. His nose scrunches up, a sniffle to dissuade the tickle from spreading fails miserably, and a moment later his hitching gasp completely derails his train of thought. “I-I haftasne-eze…” Kazuha whispers in a rush, an eye already sliding shut even as he fights to keep them open -

“iihhIIIHHESSHIUU-!! h’ahhISHH! h’AHHkSHH-!! h’kSHIIYUU-ha’akshIYUU-!!”

His hands are soiled, but he continues to try to sneeze quietly into them - key word being try -

“ii’iIYYEshh!! N’kshh!! h-kSHH-!!h’iKSHh-!!”

“Maybe we should turn back after all…” Kazuha’s friend finally says. His hand settles against Kazuha’s shoulders, which shudder with every badly-stifled sneeze. “We can make it back to the village by nightfall, and I remember the way.”

“N-ot until we- hhAHHSHn-! h’AAHKsh-! until we f-iiHHKSSHHIYUU-!! find the - IHHKSHHyyIU!! th-the her’kshhhiiu-! h’ehYIISHH-!!”

“Kazu, I can’t even understand what you’re saying.” His friend murmurs gently, smoothing loose strands of hair out of the samurai’s face as he jolts forward with a fittish sneeze. As he rears back with another gasp, the man deftly catches the scrunched up nose with his fingers. A frown forms on his fair face as the back of his hand brushes Kazuha’s forehead. “That’s it, we’re going.”

There’s no way he can argue now, incapacitated with an itchy fit burning its way through his nostrils. The boy’s nose quivers, held hostage by his friend’s well-intentioned fingers, yet the sneezes aren’t quite willing to simply wilt away on command; nay, they surge forward, the stifled nature sending sharp pains through Kazuha’s abdomen. 

“-iik-shTT-! hi’ikSHH! h’kSHH-t!! h’nkSHh-!!”

A small involuntary whine alerts his friend, who quickly releases the poor, crimson-red abused nostrils - which instantly flare as Kazuha’s face crumples into a desperate expression -

“-hhieEESHHIyyUUUU-!! h’iiYEESHHIIIi-!!h’kkSSHHII-!’kSHHyiiiUUU-!!! h-hh-hHHIIYEEIISHHHIIIIuu-!!h-hh--hhii---hh’ii-iiih-EEKSHHHYIIUUUUUU-!!!”

A particularly hard sneeze makes him stumble forward, and Kazuha most definitely would have ended up face-planting, had his friend not been standing there.

“Ok, ok. You’d better sit down.” A steadying hand on his back guides him onto the forest floor. He’s grateful, as he’s terribly dizzy for some reason. But as much as Kazuha wants to thank his friend he can’t, not when his breaths are seized by the urge to expel as much air as possible in the form of helpless sneezes. 

“-YIIIIEEESHHH-!! h’yiIEESHH!!..h’kSHHHIIIIIiyuuu!!”

He’s too busy gasping to speak in detail, but his message is urgent. Even despite the miasma of hazy scents, the samurai’s senses are filled with the static of lightning. The storm is upon them, and his nostrils are very displeased with the turn in weather. Kazuha pinches his horribly itching nostrils, voice squeaking amidst a flurry of sneezes - “hii’kSh! h’KSHI-! G-guhh-nda -hhAA’ksHH!! h’kSH-! r-rain-nh’akkSHH!!”  

The storm chooses that exact moment (right on schedule according to the intensifying tickle in Kazuha’s nose) to materialize above the two, a booming clap of thunder heralding its appearance. Fat raindrops patter onto the leaves above them, wind rushes against heavy branches, and Kazuha’s friend stares upward, muttering a string of curses as the fury of the skies pounds against their backs. 

“Shoulda listened to you, huh?” The blonde, now very soggy-haired boy remarks, as he leans closer to his friend, a hand protectively shielding the pre-occupied, red-nosed samurai from the pouring rain. The other hand tugs at his arm, helping him to stand. “C’mon, let’s hurry…”

Kazuha isn’t quite sure what happens next, on account of the fact that his eyes are squeezed shut, and his breaths are stolen by sneeze after sneeze. All he knows is that the world is all dark but his nose and throat are on fire. Through cold and soaking freezing wet he stumbles, depending solely on his friend’s guidance, he shudders from the cold and sprays sneezes indiscriminately into the brush they are crashing through. He’s glad his eyes are shut because he’s pretty certain that he would not be able to walk in a straight line - actually, it’s a miracle he’s still on his feet, thanks mostly to the fact that most of his weight is being supported by his companion. 

“Just a little further,” a voice urges, and he can’t quite place who it is. He feels rather strange, and very tired, and very dizzy, and his nose itches badly, so he stifles yet another sneeze into his elbow - “hi’kshh!!”

Their footsteps eventually sound different, as if they are against rock rather than spongy brush, and Kazuha dazedly wonders if they’ve entered a cave, from the way that the noises echo - but that can’t be right. He can’t smell the damp scent of mushrooms and stagnant water, nor the dusty scent of stones. An experimental sniff yields nothing - his nose is entirely too stuffed up for that, and he’s left coughing, his throat burning from the failed attempt at sensing his surroundings. A moment of panic, as if he’d been blinded, fills his crippled senses, but he’s quickly soothed by a comforting hand upon his shoulder. “We’ll stop here.”

Something dry, and soft, is eventually pressed against his nostrils, and Kazuha uses the last of his breath to blow his congested-yet-runny nose into its folds. It helps, somewhat, and with a shuddering breath he can once again open his eyes.

His friend is there, and when he catches sight of Kazuha looking back at him, he exhales with relief. “You alright?” 

Kazuha nods, although that hurts his head, and he tries for a weak smile. “Yeah, I-” He realizes that his nose is scrunched up. With a shaky sigh, he pinches at his nose. “...Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I shoulda listened to you when you said it was going to storm in the first place.” The blonde blows steadily into a small stack of sticks, and a fire flickers to life.

The smoke is strong-scented enough that it burns through Kazuha’s congestion, and he pulls away, a sneeze erupting swiftly from his liberated sinuses - “hhyAA-ISHH!! hy-AiISSHIUU-!!” Hurriedly he presses the cloth against his nose, a flush settling on his features. 

“Bless you. Times, like, a thousand.” 

“Thag you.” Kazuha blows his nose into the fabric. It’s rather ineffective, with the congestion barely budging from his stuffy nostrils, but his head hurts so badly that he doesn’t have the strength to try again. “Where are we..?” It feels strange to ask, to be so disoriented, but he truly has no idea. It is as if someone has stolen his vision, or tied his hands behind his back.

His friend shrugs, his hand in a small patch of peculiar-looking sprouts. “No idea. But these are really annoying.” He pokes at them. “They keep sticking to my clothes. And my hands.” A pause, in which he shakes his fingers free of the clinging vines - he freezes, staring at the plants. 

Then he yelps with surprise, holding up a sprig of green leaves. “Wh-hey, this is it! The herb they were talking about!” He holds it up so that the samurai can inspect it, beaming from ear to ear. 

The boy sniffles, his abdomen sore from all the stifling, but he forces himself to sniff the sprig - the subtle fragrance fills his nostrils, but his entire nose is so full of itchiness and all sorts of overwhelming smells mixing together and it’s giving him an awful headache at this point - he winces, pinching his aching nostrils as a sneeze sneaks up on him - “h’ksshh-‘ksht-!!” Thankfully the other man has pulled the plant away, eyes widening with recognition, apologizing profusely - “Shit, sorry Kaz-“

The boy shakes his head, mouth already open - “hh’aKKSHHyii! h’kSHH!!...do’t abologize.” A harsh sniffle against the thick congestion - which makes him cough, slightly - and a swipe at his dripping nostrils leaves him in a slightly better position than before (or so he thinks). “..snff….Th-then, we cad-h’aKKSHH-!!h’kSHH!!......snff..” Kazuha rubs at his nose, groaning slightly as it fails to rid his nose of the irritation.  “We ca-d..snff..g-go back. We have what we were lookig for..”

Despite his words, he doesn’t really want to move from his position, his entire body feeling as though it had been weighed down. He feels a bit like he’s being crushed at the bottom of the ocean, and the thick congestion and snot running from his nose, forcing him to breathe shallowly through his mouth, makes that a very apt metaphor to his situation. Not helping is the feeling of sand in his throat, which only contributes to the simile. He coughs again, and that sets the world spinning - he has to close his eyes for a brief second.

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to his friend staring at him as if he’s grown another pair of ears. “Don’t be ridiculous, Kazuha, you can barely stand. Or breathe without sneezing. You’re obviously sick.” 

Kazuha stares back. It takes a few seconds for the words to click. “...Sorry?”

His companion nods regretfully, reaching forward tenderly. He can’t suppress a small shudder as the cool hand alights against his forehead. “Yup, I was right - you’re running a fever.” He whistles, pity written all over his face. “Earlier, I thought you were a little warm, and now there’s no doubt. Can’t be fun in a rainstorm.”

Kazuha feels so awful that he doesn’t even have the strength to protest. Instead, he gives a little fluttering sigh, sinking down against his friend’s chest. “Ah. That bight explain… why by dose is so i-hiiihh-!..i-tchy..”

The warmth he’s lying against shakes with a slight chuckle. “Never change, Kazuha.”

[nerd-cat-rambles]

Rating Every Danganronpa Trial (That I've Played.)

Please keep in mind I've only played THH and SDR2 and I am kind of biased lol. Also, this is a long rant so buckle your seatbelts... or something.

Last Place:

"CELESTIA LUDENBURG GODDAMIT!"

THH Trial 3: I hated this chapter. The search was too long, Robo-Justice plot was annoying af, I hate that Hifumi believed Celeste about Ishimaru, Kiyondo was a useless plotline (I still love his character tho) and Kiyotaka could've had kick-ass character development like Fuyuhiko got in SDR2. Instead he just... died. I hated that Celeste lost her cool, the trial was annoying, and I hated it. 1/10.

"Kyoko's a ghost!!!"

THH Trial 5: I hated this dumb plot. Shortest trial in all of Danganronpa, and yet it felt like it went the longest. Don't care about the victim, debated whether Kyoko was a ghost for... a good 15 minutes? People are dumb, the investigation kind of annoys me. The only good thing was Owada's "Crazy Diamond" pick-axe in the shed. I wouldn't re-play it at all. Boring. 2/10.

"None of us know what happened to the world, but maybe she knows..."

SDR2 Trial 6: This trial was decent, but probably not as re-playable as it could be. I liked Hajime in this trial, but I feel like we needed a bit more to go off of, playing it I didn't understand that everybody was alive. Junko fanservice was bad. Felt really dragged on, but important points were not included enough (E.G: Kamakura) I don't get Junkos' motive this time but the remnant thing was pretty cool. I would replay it, definitely not my favourite. 5/10.

"We're all remnants..."

THH Trial 6: This was also an alright trial. A bit too much Junko fanservice but I liked Genocider Syo in this trial, she was funny. I liked Junko's plan but she was quite a bland mastermind. I would've rathered Togami or Kyoko but that wouldn't make sense for the plot. Hiro did nothing in the trial again... I kind of enjoyed this one, but last trials are known to be bad so this could've been a bit higher if Enoshima could've had a better motive than "Despair, despair, I'm bored, kill my sister." Re-playable by a slim amount. 5.3/10

"I did it all... for my beloved!"

SDR2 Trial 3: Chapter three trials are known to be worse than Chp.6 because the culprit doesn't need to kill two people, but they do, they get caught, and they spam F in the chat and scream about "stupid, not fair, because, apologise" etc. I find this trial isn't as bad as everybody says, the search was confusing, Hiyoko dying was funny, and I laughed. Mikan couldn't possibly set up her locked-room murder in time and then meet Hajime in the Music Venue car park. This chapter had so many loopholes (E.G: How did Hiyoko even die?) but I liked it more than the other ones. Weak execution, but great Despair Disease motive. Might reluctantly re-play for nostalgia. 5.5/10.

"You.... all killed her! You pushed Sakura into a corner! She died because of you!"

THH Trial 4: I'm going to get hate for this one... but... I'm not a big fan of this trial. I am biased, yes, but everybody is, and this is my respectable opinion. The investigation was decent, and so was the discovery. I find that Aoi trying to kill everybody was smart but dumb at the same time, if that makes sense. I kind of got bored after THH after a certain trial (no spoilers for the rest of this list) I loved the Alter-Ego twist, and Sakura's note was great. Junko messing with the suicide note was not cool though. I would replay it but it still isn't my favourite. 6.3/10

"Hey! You can't say that without any evidence! This is bullshit! You're stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"Heh, I guess I just have pretty good intuition!"

THH Trial 1: Okay, I LOVE THIS TRIAL- I really love this trial. When somebody says "Danganronpa" THIS is the trial I think of. It isn't the best, and it's a very short chapter compared to SDR2 Chapter 5, but oh my gosh. I love it. I liked Sayaka a lot, and I also loved "Fake Junko" before I knew she was Mukuro. I thought that Leon was really cool too. I liked the introductory trials a lot, and this one is amazing! The series starts with a bang, and you realise "Oh shit this isn't as colourful and fun as I thought." The only reason this trial isn't higher is because it was obvious and easy. When I first played THH, I admit I didn't even notice 11037 on the wall and was stuck on the investigation for like... an hour... *disappointed sigh from me* but upon re-play it's easier than I remember. I know it's for Japanese speaking users who wouldn't know Leon/11037 in English. Highly re-playable, good twists, good introductory trial. 7/10

"Good bye my four dark devas of destruction..."

SDR2 Trial 4: I'm also probably going to get backlash for this opinion, but I still LOVE this chapter. I love the island, I love the motive, I love the strawberry and grape houses, and the elevator. I love the Hajime octagon meme! But, the trial was just DIFFICULT. I actually had a laptop infront of me the whole time with the answers up- I loved Mechamaru and the Sakura statue. I love Gundham and his hampsters. A great execution, a great trial room. Silly Fuyuhiko was the only reason Gundham got caught. I like that we got to switch between Nagito and Hajime's POVs and the Russian-Roulette scene. My only issue is that I'm dumb. That's it. 8/10, very re-playable.

"P-please Peko! Don't go! I NEED YOU! Don't leave me!"

SDR2 Trial 2: Okay, we are up to the final 4 in trials, and this one takes 4th place! I love it so much! I have ALMOST nothing bad to say about this trial at all! The relationship between Fuyuhiko and Peko was shown to beautifully during this trial. The execution was amazing, the music was absolutely a banger (as always) and oh my gosh. This trial made me so sad and emotional. Very smartly set out murder plan. Enough on the trial until a little bit later, my thoughts on the island are great. It's probably my favourite island in the game. The only thing bringing this chapter down a rank is the fanservice... THE DINER SCENE. If you've played you know what I mean... anyway, the only other thing bringing this chapter down is the motive. Twilight Murder Syndrome was a game I didn't care about. I didn't care about Sato or Natsumi. I didn't care about Girls A through E or Guy F. It got too confusing and annoying and I had to write down who each character was because they kept reffering to Mikan as Girl A. It got annoying, but I enjoyed this chapter and would replay it more than once. 8.5/10

In third place we have...

"AVRIL LAVIIIIINNNNGGGGGEEEE"

SDR2 Trial 1: Uh... even I'm surprised that a guy calling us "Avril Lavinge" got third place, but here we are. I don't care much for Teruteru or Imposter/Fake Byakuya, and the execution was a little bit silly. I loved this chapter, we got introduced to the characters and their aspects much better than in THH in the man hall, it helped us explore the island and learn the new locations/controls as well as hitting us with nostalgia. I have nothing bad to say about this chapter at all. I liked that Byakuya strangely tried to take charge (which was unlike what he did in THH) and I think that his dying resulted in Hajime realising he had to get his shit together and step up. Loved the references to the first game. Great humane motive, great chapter, great fun, not too hard not too easy. I loved this trial and chapter alot. 9/10.

In second place we have...

"Yep! You got it right!. I'm just going to confess, I'm the traitor."

SDR2 Trial 5: Yeah uh... I'M SO BIASED THAT THIS ISN'T FIRST, BECAUSE THIS IS TRULY THE BEST TRIAL OUT OF THE FIRST GAMES BUT WHATEVER THIS IS MY OPINION AND MY POLL HERE WE GO!

I loved this trial. Nothing bad to say. The chapter was amazing, the new island was great, the bomb thing. Awesome! The traitor being revealed? Awesome! I cried! NAGITO DYING SO BRUTALLY? AWESOME!!! I have nothing bad to say, and I loved this trial SO SO SO much! Hajime and the others in denial about Chiaki being the traitor was such a strong plot. I wish that the last trial of SDR2 was as good as this one, but it isn't :(. Let's start with Nagito COOKING. He absolutely ate, fire, luck, the whole plan was amazing! I don't know how he or the DR2 team came up with that, but whoever did NEEDS a raise bro! I think about this trial so much, I'm so dam passionate about it. The most brutal body discovery? Check! The saddest execution? Check! The best execution music? Check! The craziest body search and evidence search? CHECK! I loved this trial so so so so so so so much, and it deserves to be number one. Fully replayable, amazing, elite! I have no issues with it. 9.5/10

And... first place... omfg-

I love this trial so much. I can't even describe. When somebody says Danganronpa, THIS is the line I think of.

"JUST SHUT UP YOU SON OF A BITCH! SAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. From one man to another..."

Peak Danganronpa (In my opinion). I agree, THH is the weakest of all the Danganronpa games in characters and visually. But if every trial cooked like this one, goddamit I WISH-

THH Trial 2.

I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!

Let's start: The motive, amazing. I loved it. Imagine your most embarrassing secret. "Nobody would kill over that" you'd be surprised. I loved the bromance between Ishimaru and Owada, and the sauna scene was just hilarious. The chapter body discovery was amazing, Byakuya framing Toko for no reason JUST to get her secret out was amazing (asshole move, but amazing) Celeste not mentioning the track-jacket colour... the emotion in their voices. The body search was fun! The new floor was fun! The free time events I chose were fun! I love Mondo, I love Kiyotaka, I love Chihiro. Another humane motive. I got chills hearing Kiyotaka's voice acting. CHILLS. Even though the execution story is terrible, and a bit goofy, just imagine being liquified... your body turns to mush, your internal organs fail you... your body eats itself and crushes itself, bones and all. GODDAMIT IT'S AMAZING. I also loved Syo in this trial. Who gave Byakuya the right to be such an ass though? I love it so much, I have nothing bad to say about it. I will replay it OVER AND OVER AND OVER I LOVE IT SO MUCH! 10/10

Anyway, sorry for this long-ass shit-post. Hope you enjoyed reading my opinions. I'm bored so I'm going to rank executions next, with shorter paragraphs. This includes the executions in V3, for those of you who love Strand of Agony and Der Flohwalzer!

[thefoxinateacup]

Reading Recap: The Bardugo Bash

It's been quite the Leigh Bardugo year so far. I've filled my time with four of her books in the first half of 2024, and I'm sure I'll throw in another reread of Six of Crows before the year ends.

First up, back in January, I finally got my hands on the pocket version of Hell Bent. I really wanted this size so it would fit with my copy of Ninth House because I'm extra like that. It took me two weeks to devour Hell Bent which I took everywhere with me. I read it at home, at the cafe, on my lunch break at work, even on my walks to and back from work. It was impossible to put it down. After a solid first entry in the series with Ninth House, Bardugo expanded the dark fantasy parallel universe of Yale's secret societies.

I say parallel because it's wild to me to even think that the grimy and dangerous Yale of Alex Stern could possibly be the same as the light and cosy Yale of Rory Gilmore. But then again, Rory's world revolved very much around herself so who's to say she just wasn't completely oblivious to the dark deeds performed on her precious college campus. Anywho.

We meet up again with our ragtag team of supernatural investigators and shit-stirrers as they more or less willingly embark on a mission to rescue Darlington from whichever circle of hell he ended up falling into in the first book. The antagonists this time around are more demons than ghosts but keep the spooky vibe very much alive. Alex leads the charge out of a sense of duty towards Darlington, but also an irresistible sense of attraction, which the Gentleman Demon can't deny either. (Cue the countless pieces of stunning fanart hehehe.) In classic Alex fashion, whenever things can take a turn for the worse, they do, but it also allows her to learn more about her purpose and powers. No pain no gain, I guess.

In conclusion, I was hooked from the start and can hardly wait for the final installment in the series to come out, see where our dashing demon and wicked witch take us for one last ride in the dark underbelly of New Haven.

Next up, I cruised through Siege and Storm and Ruin and Rising. Ahead of the Starfury convention where I was finally going to meet Jessie and Archie, I figured it was about time I finished the original trilogy. Bardugo's writing style is so pleasant to read, I finished both books in two weeks. I already knew I liked Nikolai from the King of Scars duology and Paddy Gibson's delightful portrayal on the Shadow and Bone TV series, but boy oh boy did Siege and Storm confirm that, after the Crows obviously, Nikolai is my favourite Grishaverse character. And if I'm honest, as riveting as the plot is in Ruin and Rising, Siege and Storm is my favourite book of the original trilogy. Because it has the most Nikolai? Well yes, duh. But also the domesticity of being at the Little Palace again, even if Alina's newfound leadership and isolation brings its own challenges.

I will say that, as much as it makes sense plot-wise, Alina losing her powers after she spent so much time earning it and owning it feels a little bit disappointing, but at least now her and Mal can be equally ordinary people who live a simple but good life, in love for the rest of their days. Regardless of how it ends, it's amazing to witness the care and detail that Bardugo put into creating a fantasy world that still feels tangible. What a time to be alive!

Finally, another two weeks to savour The Familiar. My boss ordered me the pretty hardback copy with black edges straight from the US so that one was definitely a home book. (Cue Gollum voice: my precious.) The world building was very nicely done, dropping information about the historical context without it feeling like a history textbook, and introducing the special kind of magic that Luzia possesses in a very "show don't tell" way. Bardugo tried out a different point of view style, relying less on first person narrative or character specific chapters to blend the points of view of Luzia and Santangel, for the most part, creating a fuller scope of understanding for the narrative.

You could cut the tension between Luzia and Santangel, the disillusioned ancient magic wielder who takes her under his wing because he doesn't have a choice, with a knife until finally the last thread of propriety snaps, much to the enjoyment of the adult reader. Because it is, dear reader, very much a book for adults. It is full of dark magic, messy and sexy, pain and betrayal, questions of one's mortality, however the tone felt less tragic to me than the Ninth House series. Luzia takes initiative and follows her ambition, even if it might cost her everything. Luzia's rage against a world that would condemn her for merely being alive makes her all the more willing to not settle for less than she is worth. Damn be the consequences!

The 16th century Madrid depicted adds charm to the setting while also grounding it into the sinister period of the Spanish Inquisition. The background of religious persecution adds a layer of urgency to Luzia's dangerous path to greatness. It begs the question of whether she can even escape certain doom. Does she even want to? Read The Familiar to find out.

My point is: if Bardugo writes it, I will read it. Her writing style is so electrifying, it perfectly scratches the itch in me that craves great storytelling and beautiful words weaved into mind-bending sentences. And I'm looking forward to being consumed by her next masterpiece.

Bookishly yours!

[rallamajoop]

RE's Dulvey Daily newspaper, and the Deep Lore (TM) of the sinister Horn of Plenty pharmaceutical company

There is some wonderful nonsense to be found in the unused assets of RE8. One favourite examples is this one texture asset created for the collectable-document-item titled simply "Old News Clipping" that you can find early on in Ethan's home. This is not an item you can pick up and examine, the screencap above is all you can see of the newspaper: folded so that the name is abbreviated to "The Du", with the cover article similarly cropped down to "Horn of Plenty Facing F". The actual headline referenced in the document text ("Curtain Closes on The Dulvey Gas Incident") isn't visible here at all.

But the complete texture created for this double-folded paper covers the newspaper's whole front page, and it is huge. I've broken it in half to make it a little more tumblr-friendly.

The full front page shows the paper is called "The Dulvey Daily", with the headlining article, "Horn of Plenty Pharmaceutical Company Facing Financial Dilemma". But it doesn't stop there: beneath the fold we've got two more huge articles ("Twin Sisters Sail Mediterranean Conference Tomorrow" and "A Real Good Boy! Dog Saves Child's Life"). There's no real text for these ‒ text is deliberately blurred what little is legible suggests it's basically a lot of lorem ipsum-style placeholder material ‒ but someone put some real work into all those photos all the same.

The article we're actually looking for is the smallest on the page, crammed down into a corner (and here, confusingly, titled "Baker Investigation Called Off" ‒ presumably the English title was changed later and no-one saw the need to update an image that wasn't going to be visible anyway). And that's a detail I like a lot, given the whole point of this file is to communicate the way the whole Dulvey incident has been swept so far under the carpet by the authorities that it's not even worth a proper local headline. Really, and it's a shame the full asset isn't viewable in-game, given how effectively the layout communicates how un-newsworthy the events of RE7 are now thought to be.

You can actually find another issue of "The Dulvey Daily" in RE7 ‒ and it's more what I'd expect for this kind of asset, in that the same title "Ghosts Sighted In Bayou" appears twice on the same page. Nothing wrong with that kind of shortcut: if people aren't going to see both sides, why bother adding more individuality? The asset team's got better stuff to do.

Still, it's a nice touch that both games uses the same fonts and layouts for these two issues of "The Dulvey Daily," so here they are side by side.

But by far my favourite thing about this page is another detail you won't notice unless you get to see that whole asset. Let's take another look at that headline story:

Now, in the RE universe, you tell me a "pharmaceutical company" is involved in "financial dilemma", and my instant response is, oh shit, did they just get busted for making bio-weapons on the sly? Are they about to try and 'fix' their financial woes by getting into dodgy research areas? Don't tell me it's not likely!

But it gets worse, because I have seen that baby food jar somewhere before! Heck, I have formulated semi-serious theories about the whole pre-timeline of the game based on those baby food jars!

The game draws your attention to them on both your visits to that pantry (in slightly contradictory ways, but shh, just put those little details aside).

We can get an even better look at the label on the asset texture, and...

...yup, Horn of Plenty baby-food, right there in orange-and-white. Yikes, maybe it's a good thing Miranda!Mia wasn't keen on letting Rose actually eat any of that stuff! XD

Now, I don't really think this is pointing to any deep-lore about the Horn of Plenty company or their potential role as the New Big Bad of RE9, or anything. Far more likely, this is just someone on the asset team amusing themselves with a cute little call-back to some other asset they just worked on, where no player is ever likely to see it.

But now I've seen it. And now I too am duly amused.