#gonna have to buy both online then

[carlytayjepsen]

they didn't have wonderland magazine in town 😭

[just-about-nothing]

i love when people who’ve never been around smokers write a character who smokes

it’s usually kinda obvious throughout the fic but sometimes you don’t realize until they say something that is just like….. honey. please go into a gas station any gas station & look at the selection behind the counter

[romanticfistfightz]

my favourite types of games is like. katamari damacy. tasty planet. donut county. i can play them forever and ever

[woolydemon]

oh btw update on klapolly tsums project, I did actually start gathering materials for it (there's spring sales at craft stores rn >:] ) however I am now struggling to find skin (fleece) for them 😔

[toastsnaffler]

wanted to watch smth while I polish my boots but I forgot to put thr dryer on earlier so its on rn and the sound is making my teeth hurt 😭

[victory-cookies]

bro I don’t wanna go to class tomorrow. I think I’m gonna skip

[chosolala]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ jjk characters in relationships

here’s just some cute little headcannons on how i think the jujutsu kaisen guys would treat you when they’re in a relationship with u :]

characters: yuji, megumi, yuta, inumaki

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

yuji itadori

he is constantly trying to show off and impress you every chance he gets

probably lifts his shirt a lot because ‘he gets hot’ but really just wants to show off his abs

his hands always somehow find their way to your butt

he wants to be with you 24/7

he loves studying with you because he knows you guys are gonna do everything but study, he always brings snacks for you guys

laughing with you 24/7

always bragging and showing you off to todo

he secretly wants your approval over everything he does, you mean the most to him

your parents, siblings, dogs, grandparents everyone loves him, he’s the biggest sweetheart

super clingy, take that as you will

whenever you guys both have free time he takes you out to grab fast food

he loves blowing you kisses it’s so cute

he makes those capcut tiktok edits of you and sends them to you

he is answering your texts right away, even if he’s on a mission he’ll be texting you with one hand and fighting with the other

you #1 meat rider, he takes your side on everything even if he knows you’re wrong you guys are sinking together

megumi fushiguro

unintentionally apart of the sassy man apocalypse

even though you guys are dating he gets super flustered and nervous around you

like he’s scared to be too flirty or do anything too risky incase he scares you away

it takes a lot for you to crack that hard shell of his and get him to express any emotion

when he’s angry or upset after missions he doesn’t talk to you at all and just goes mute or hides away in his room for a while

secretly tries to impress you (like subtly)

he’s pretty shy about relationship stuff at first, he fumbles over his words and blushes a lot when he’s trying to be romantic at first

if someone is less that polite to you he will literally send them home with their tail between their legs

very protective over you

is secretly scared that you’ll leave him for someone better than him since he isn’t the best with communication in general and has a hard time expressing his feelings

constantly trying to make you love him more with small acts of service everyday or even just straight up buying you stuff

doesn’t really like physical touch that much but he tries his best for you, he’s like really stiff when you try and cuddle him

yuta okkotsu

his camera roll is just pictures of you

he is head cutie patootie

sometimes when you both can’t sleep you have like the craziest deepest convos ever and he’ll just drop the darkest lore on you

if you aren’t a sorcerer he tries to keep you as far away from that as possible

compliments you all the time even if you’re just waking up

he gives the warmest hugs ever and he always smells so good

he isn’t too touchy but he loves walking with his arm around your waist or shoulder

kisses you on the head/forehead all the time

you guys have movie nights all the time, he always sets it up so cute for you guys with drinks and snacks and blankets for you

he wouldn’t get jealous but sometimes he overthinks

he loves when you praise him,

hes always blushing with you, you make him nervous but in a cute way

he loves telling you about small things in his life, like he gets so excited to tell you about his funny dream or about the cute stray dog he followed to the city

he loves doing your favorite activities with you

he loves sitting between ur thighs and letting you play w his hair

toge inumaki

he’s the biggest troll, like he’s always messing around with u

he’s fairly touchy in public, he usually always has his arm around you

he doesn’t really get jealous but he gives death stares when guys flirt w you in public

he got you hooked onto all his favorite video games and you guys play online together

that boy keeps you FED. bringing you snacks and food 24/7

he loves packing lunches for you

you and him are married on his tomadachi life island

he always has funny comebacks and replies when you text

he likes carrying you around on his back, piggy back rides

he’s lowkey a freak, he’s always texting u something crazy just out of the blue

he bought you guys matching necklaces

he’s always pampering you, he loves to take care of you

he loves holding your hand, if you guys fall asleep together your fingers are always intertwined

[myfandomrealitea]

I know there's a lot of advice for handling things like depression and its so fucking easy for people to say "just do this and you'll feel better!" and I hate that, I fucking despise it, but I'm also gonna throw in my two cents about what is personally helping me get out of bed some days and genuinely, not kill myself.

Its taking care of nature.

Seriously. It sounds stupid and some days it feels stupid, but I put up bird feeders because I live in a semi-rural area where human activity is decimating the local bird population and options for safe feeding. So I put up bird feeders. And now I have like 83 different birds flocking to my garden on the daily and screaming at my window if the feeders are empty. And I've seen generations of baby birds brought to my garden by their parents because this is where the food is.

And I researched what plants and flowers were native to my area and I spent like $5 on a few different seed packets and sprinkled them around the grass and the sad empty flowerbeds and the lawn because the bees have nothing to eat and that's awful and it turns out wildflowers will fucking GROW the moment you look away, but now every spring and summer my lawn is a pretty little multi-colored bug haven.

And I've even gotten the chance to save a few little bug lives because of it. I've taken in cold-shocked bees and given them a warm little tupperware to recover in. I've fed bugs sugar water to get their energy back to take their food home. I've given dying bugs a sheltered, safe place to spend their last moments.

I planted a veggie garden. And I know I'm very lucky in that I have the space to do that, but also, you can grow a lot of things indoors. My friend has literally the smallest apartment you can imagine but she grows chives in her bathroom and grows five radishes at a time in a pot in the kitchen. Literally five. But it makes her so happy every single time she pulls them up or trots off to the bathroom to snip some chives.

I pick trash up every two weeks. The pick stick was like $4 online and I just put the bag out with my bi-weekly trash pick-up and its disgusting but but nobody else is gonna do it and I've only got finite time on this earth. If nobody else is going to pick up that can, I will. Because some innocent wild animal doesn't deserve to get hurt by human ignorance, and I deserve to walk home and see pretty flourishing nature instead of depressing discarded trash like I feel like most days.

I've left water out for the wildlife and watched hedgehogs, local dogs on their walks, squirrels and all sorts stop by to take a drink, because humans are fucking selfish and we're making something as basic as water so hard to access for anyone but ourselves, but I can fix a little bit of that just by putting out a bowl. Sometimes I don't even have to remember to fill it because the rain will fill it for me, and its kind of like nature's way of saying "you're helping me so I'm going to help you out too." Which is neat.

Like most days I do not want to be living on this earth but my god earth did not get a choice about us living here, and we're ruining it, and it actually feels so good to help stop and un-do a little bit of that destruction.

And you don't even have to try everything I do. If the only thing you've got the spoons to do is buy one bird feeder and you only remember to fill it once a month, its still something. That once a month could mean the difference between starvation and a full belly to a bird.

Again, none of this is obligatory and I'm not saying at all this is some magical cure for depression, but personally these things are things which are helping me slowly find things to keep getting out of bed for and things to feel a sense of self worth and satisfaction over. I feel better both in and about myself when I feed the birds, when I see the bugs in the garden, when I pick up the trash.

If its something you haven't considered yet, it might be worth a try.

[strwberri-milk]

Hii could I maybe request the lads boys and sugar daddies 🤭🤭

It's okay if you don't tho I understand it's not something everyone is comfortable with :)

im understanding this as lads AS sugar daddies but also im like. thinking about it and these are gonna be kinda short bc i just dont see anybody really being a sugar daddy so these are. very general. fun fact - xaviers is based off a fic premise i never wrote

Zayne definitely has the capital to be a sugar daddy and he's heard amongst the other doctors that there are some others who have arrangements. He judges them at first, thinking that it's not something he'd really think he's comfortable dealing with. He learns that things don't have to be purely sexual a night or two of him feeling extraordinarily lonely he decides maybe he could just see if he could find someone to spend time with.

Against his better judgement he meets you, someone who invigorates him mentally and enjoys spending his time with you. Your allowance is incredibly generous and you were expecting him to escalate with each nice dinner he takes you to but he's never made a move on you. He's a perfect gentleman and he makes sure you understand that all he wants from you is your time, however much it costs.

The only way Xavier could end up in this situation is by pure accident. He downloads an app, thinking it was just a way to make friends online. He assumes that payments are for some sort of membership, swiping around until he finds your profile and decides to start chatting with you.

The two of you have a lot in common and when you two meet up for the first time you're glad that he looks a lot younger than you anticipated with the blurry profile photo and slightly outdated shorthand in texting. He sort of slips into the role in a similar manner, paying for your dinners and buying you things that remind him of you.

You don't really think he knows what he's become, especially since you don't receive a traditional allowance of money. You don't mind at all thankfully, fully accepting all of his gifts and meals in exchange for his companionship. Honestly, you don't look at him as a sugar daddy because of how casual everything is, cherishing his friendship as you get to know him.

Rafayel totally does it as a whim. He decides to download an app for fun, not really into dating period. He doesn't like the way that people fawn over him, or try to pretend that they don't care he's rich despite insisting meeting at fancy restaurants and looking at him expectantly to foot the bill.

You agree to a date with Rafayel because not only is he famous, he's stupid pretty. You decide that spending time with him would definitely not be an awful thing to do. Your first date is formal and you try to wow him with knowledge of his paintings. He doesn't seem very interested but the two of you seem to get along, thankfully.

Over time the two of you become more friendly, Rafayel letting his walls down more as the two of you become more honest with each other. He's very kind with his money and you're paid very generously. He finally has a sort of friend outside of Thomas and genuinely likes bugging you, you not minding the extra attention he gives you in addition to the money you're paid.

Sylus is constantly fighting off people trying to flirt with him to enter some sort of arrangement. He exudes both wealth and power so of course people are going to be obsessed with him. He usually brushes them all off, not caring, honestly.

He happens to come across you during an evening of drinking. You're trying to flirt with him, not knowing anything about him other than you think he's a very attractive man. He knows that you don't know him with how forward you are, touching and batting your lashes at him flirtatiously.

He ends up deciding to buy you some drinks and the two of you talk well into the night. He gives you his number to talk to him again, telling you that he'd make sure it was worth your time. When you get home that night you find a package addressed to you. A beautiful set of clothes and jewels that fit you perfectly along with an invitation for an event in the week.

This becomes standard for the two of you and you love it. Being on his arm prevents Sylus from getting accosted from people that are desperate for his attention and you're constantly spoiled by his money. You both benefit, growing closer with each other over time.

[tastesousweet]

⭒ blurb : podcasting

bf!hamzah x poc!reader

summary: based on this ask!!! little blurb of the times you pop up on the ooc podcast

mickey speaks: this was so funny to write!!! also i need to be hamzah's gf yesterday bitch

─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────

hamzah having you in an episode with mandy and martin

“oh wow this couch gets kinda tight when four people are squeezed on here” hamzah says while adjusting a few pillows

“yeah,” martin starts before addressing the audience, “and, well, you’re probably wondering ‘who the heck is that?!’” he gestures his hand over to you, beside hamzah with your legs folded and knees lying against his thigh

you can’t help but smile as hamzah introduces you, “and, yeah, believe it or not i have a girlfriend.”

“i’m right next to you so i’d hope they believe it” give a soft giggle

“only hamzah would announce he has a girlfriend with ‘believe it or not’” mandy adds and hamzah throws a hand up in the air in defeat

★

martin: “i can’t help but think this feels like in middle school when people were just group dating all the time”

hamzah: “was group dating that common? i don’t remember that”

you: “i remember certain friend groups at my school doing that but i definitely wasn't participating”

mandy: “this isn’t really a group though martin, more like a double date? there’s four of us”

martin: "it's not all about numbers mandy sometimes there's just a vibe"

★

martin: “but you two have been dropping hints about dating for a while now”

you: “yeah, we’ve been doing a little soft launching here and there”

martin: “i like that term a lot actually”

mandy: “i think it’s cute, but i've seen a lot of people online that don't use it properly”

you: "i agreeeee, like you didn't soft launch by posting the back of his head if we already saw the front of it a week ago- we know who he is!!! there is no mystery"

martin: "oh so the appeal is the mystery... almost like scooby doo?"

hamzah, nodding his head: "mhm... exactly"

you: "it's always two dumb bitches telling each other-"

you and hamzah together: "exactlyyyyy"

martin looks over to mandy as the two of you laugh: "oh come on this is their first episode together and look at them mandy! we have to be cuter, come on. lock in."

hamzah: "hey no need to be jealous, my friend."

hamzah pats martins thigh

mandy: "so what was that right there?"

hamzah: "you wouldn't understand..."

martin: "no but seriously mandy you never soft launched me- only hard"

mandy: "there was no need to??? next time i'll do it i guess"

you, laughing: "next time???"

hamzah is sat in thought for an extra second before he replies to martin, making them both laugh

hamzah: “okay martin you said like that term so much? boy, now imma soft launch these nuts in your mouth”

you: "and i know you were thinking on that joke for a minute"

martin, through laughs: “okay, okay, enough”

hamzah, wiping his eyes: “well, now the jig is up. you know it's all aired out and public”

martin: “yeah... a hard launch on the podcast, that’s crazy bro”

you and mandy, mocking: “that’s craaazzyy brooo”

★

hamzah answering your call during a podcast

martin: “hamzah whenever you buy clothes from the store or get it shipped in the mail always wash your clothes!”

hamzah: “i do wash my clothes but if it’s new that doesn’t make any sense”

martin: “so you’re just gonna open it up and put it on?”

hamzah: “yes!”

hamzah’s phone starts ringing

martin: “and wow. now look who’s breaking the phone rule!”

hamzah: “stop shhh. it’s y/n”

he answers, hamzah: “hey what’s up?”

you see the mic in his hand and widen your eyes, you: “oh shit, i’m sorry to interrupt”

hamzah: “it’s okay i have something to ask you now anyway.”

you: "okayy.. do you wanna go first or me?"

hamzah: "you go ahead"

you: "okay quick- is this business casual enough for an event tonight?"

hamzah: "nobody is doing business lookin' that hot, you can't be serious"

you: "kay thanks"

hamzah, jokes: "you are not anyone's office siren, girl"

you: "i'm gonna hang up"

hamzah: "no!!! i need to ask if you wash your clothes after you buy them."

you: "if they smell like stale water and factory chemicals, yes"

hamzah: "martin is educating me on the importance of this unimportant thing right now."

you: "and you should listen to him, stinky"

martin: "thank you!"

hamzah: "oh nahhh, now i'm gonna hang up"

you: "mkayy bye, sorry for interrupting! bye martin!!!"

martin: "byee"

★

you drop something off at the warehouse studio while they’re filming

hamzah: "what was that noise?"

martin: "i don't know..."

hamzah: "it sounds like someone's actually trying to break in, what?"

martin: "were you expecting company?"

hamzah: "no, were you?"

martin: "no...i mean let's ask the audience"

martin turns to the camera, concerned

hamzah: "okay i'm actually about to go check. this is weird."

it cuts to a clip of hamzah sat again and you peeking your head in the frame to wave

hamzah: "nevermind. it was just my sweet girlfriend bringing us lunch, sorry if that scared you guys."

martin: "should we make like a super artifical thumbnail for clickbait? somethin' like; 'someone tried to kidnap us in our studio!'

hamzah: "no"

★

they have a trolling episode where you and mandy both sub in and act as martin and hamzah for an entire episode

mandy: "you know i find it crazy how we manage to talk about nothing for an entire hour"

you: "this is the talent people expect from us bro! and if we ever get too boring we can always discuss the state of sabrina and barry's relationship."

mandy: "true. and don't make fun of me but everytime man-crush monday comes around i'm always picking barry..."

you: "well if i can't make fun of you then i'll just stay quiet for your sake."

taglist -★ (some of u didn't ask to be tagged but have frequently liked my hamzah content lol, just lmk if you'd prefer not to be tagged!!!)

@sirenedeslily @333michelle @thatmartinkitten @@maybankfr @imsosillygoofylol @certainfestivalnerdshepherd

[p3terparker]

𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗱 - 𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: peter and you argue because he loves to spend all of his money on you.

𝘄/𝗰: 0.5k

𝗮/𝗻: sorry for disappearing for a few months… again 😭 i am slowly getting back into writing so please bear with me! i saw my last fic reached over 9000 notes so that really motivated me to write something else for you guys ♡ i’m not so sure how i feel about this but i really do see peter as the type of boyfriend to blow all of his paycheck on you so i just had to write this LOL anyways i hope you all enjoy this!!

“put it on my card” you suddenly hear peter say as he pulled your earphones out, causing you to jump.

you were trying to keep yourself awake while waiting for peter to come through your window after patrolling for the night. to keep yourself occupied, you decided to listen to music and do some online shopping (which consisted of you just putting things in your cart but never actually buying anything). with your back facing your window and your earphones in, you didn’t see or hear peter come inside.

“jesus christ peter, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“yeah yeah whatever” he says not really caring that he nearly scared the life out of you. “as i was saying before you rudely snapped at me, put your order on my card”

“i literally have over $400 worth of clothes in my cart”

“and?”

“what do you mean and? that’s expensive”

“your point?”

“that’s more than half of your paycheck”

“doesn’t matter. the whole reason why i have a job is to spoil you” he says while taking off his suit and getting comfortable in your bed.

“aww pete, you’re too sweet. but still, no. i don’t want you spending that much money on me”

he hummed an okay which led you to believe he was gonna just drop the conversation.

you were so wrong.

before you know it, he’s shooting a web at your laptop and dragging it over to him.

“NOOOO!” you scream dramatically and tackle him on your bed before he can type in his card information.

“LET ME BUY YOU CLOTHES!” he screams back while trying to push you off of him so he can grab your laptop again.

you quickly snatched your laptop from the bed and ran out of your room as fast as you could.

“GET BACK HERE!” peter shouted while chasing after you to which you just ignored and kept running away.

“you know what, you leave me no choice” he abruptly stops chasing you which causes you to stop in confusion.

suddenly, he jumped and stuck to your roof with his webs, and webbed your laptop over to him. you literally had no way of getting to him now.

“that’s no fair, you’re cheating!” you whined.

he laughed at you standing helplessly below him and finally placed your $450 order on his card.

“here you go” he smiled and jumped down from the roof, handing your laptop back over to you.

before you were about to scold him for spending so much money on you, you heard a knock at your door.

you and peter both looked at each other confused because you weren’t expecting anybody for the night. he walked to the door and opened, revealing the people you were least expecting.

the police.

“hello, we were called over here for a noise complaint. your neighbors reported screaming being heard from your apartment room and they were concerned. is everything alright?”

you did not expect to end your night by explaining to the police that you and your boyfriend were screaming over buying clothes.

[soobibabe]

aphrodisiac

pairings: jeon jungkook + reader synopsis: Your husband orders a box of special chocolates for the two of you to try together, suggesting that you see who can resist each other the longest. (spoiler: they forgot about the game the second they're within each others proximity) warnings: dom!jk, low-key switch reader, penetrative sex, unprotected, oral (m. receiving), no use of "y/n", fingering (he fingered his cum into her), explicit language, praising, BREEDING KINK, fem bodied reader

"Kook? Did you order these?" you shout from your doorstep, examining the sealed, unfamiliar package that showed up on your porch unannounced.

You certainly didn't do any online shopping this month, so there's only one other person who could have.

Jungkook appears in an instant upon hearing your call. You turn around to face him, and to your surprise his eyes beam when they meet the box in your hands. "Mhm" he replies, grabbing it out of your hands and pulling you back inside the house.

"What's got you so excited?" you ask looking at the man tearing apart the box like a kid on Christmas day opening presents.

He dips his hand into the package and pulls out a box of chocolates. You stare blankly, shocked that man — your husband, who hates more than half of the sweets you buy — the man who always preaches about how savory and spice is better — is this gaped by chocolates that he ordered.

"Are you serious?" you inquire. "They're not just chocolates, baby. They've got good stuff inside them" he spurs in one breath, kissing you before dragging you with him to your bedroom. "C'mon, we've got a game to play".

He sits beside you on the bed, unwrapping the golden package and snapping a piece of chocolate in two, handing you one.

"They're aphrodisiac chocolates. Taehyung tried it last week and told the group chat that we all have to try it. You know I love challenges, right?" he explains.

"One serving each and the aim is to see who'll give in first" You're stunned, you can't believe your husband wants to part take in this when you both know he can't keep his hands off of you. "Alright, I'll play this stupid game with you, but what are the stakes?"

"I didn't think about all of that," he scratches his head "Let's just eat the chocolates " he grins, waiting for you to comply, and you do.

After 10 minutes of just talking about Taehyung's experience when he had the aphrodisiacs, you begin to feel the effects. You could tell it was impacting Jungkook too when his voice became a little shakey, trying to conceal it out of pure competitiveness.

Alas, you weren't gonna make this easy for him. It was his idea anyway. You crawl over to him while he blabbers on about Kim Taehyungs sex life, and straddle his lap, hearing the words die down in his throat to a gulp as you do so.

"Do you wanna fuck me, koo?" you whisper in his ear, knowing it'll drive him insane. You squirm on top of him in an attempt to settle yourself comfortably on his thighs, feeling his cock grow ridiculously harder beneath you.

"Don't fucking taunt me, baby" he bites back. He pulls his shirt off, grabbing your hand to drag it along his torso, feeling every square inch of the muscles under your touch relax and contract. He stops at his sweats, pressing your smaller hand against his bulge. "Feel how hard I am for you?"

It's torturous how difficult it is to not reach under his boxers and put him right inside you. Instead, you distract yourself by making busy on his neck, leaving pretty trails of love bites on him.

You know the marks work him up. He loves the idea of claiming you as his, and vice versa. Whenever you leave them, though it isn't often, he doesn't do a thing to hide them.

"Fuck, baby please take this off." he nearly whimpers when he voices this. His fingers dance at the hem of your top, trying his best to not rip it off of you.

You peel the layer off, leaving you in only your shorts and bra. "You're so beautiful" he contends. He takes in all of you, admiring every stretch and curve. "You were made for me" he whispers.

"Can I suck you off, kook?" you request, and he looks at you with an expression that says 'Why bother asking?'.

"Do you think I'd say no to my wife wanting to give me a blowjob?" he asks, voice dropping a few octaves lower than his usual soft tone.

With that confirmation, you tug his pants along with his boxers down his thighs. Your hands wrap around his length like second nature, guiding the tip to your lips.

You stick out your tongue, tracing light circles around the head until you finally take it into your mouth, slowly going inch by inch down your throat. As a result of Jungkook previously insisting on size training, it doesn't take long to take him in all the way.

You bob your head on his length, hollowing your cheeks to wrap snuggly around his shaft. He's in bliss watching you please him so well. "Good girl" he groans.

His hand tangles in your hair, helping you take him further as he pushes down gently. "I love you" he murmurs in a hushed tone.

"I'm so close already, fuck" he chuckles, he's never been one to not last long. "Baby pull off, there's something I wanna do, but keep your hands on me."

You obey, maintaining the same pace with your hand on his cock, sitting up between his thighs. "Undress for me," he says breathlessly, on the verge of his climax.

Once your clothes are all off, he aligns himself with your core, fucking himself harder in your fist. You've both long forgotten about the whole 'challenge' by now.

Jungkook cums all over your cunt and stomach without warning, his head thrown back in ecstasy. He pulls you into a deep kiss, riding out his high whilst his hand dips into the distance between your bodies.

He gathers the substance of his orgasm onto his fingers and shoves them inside your sopping pussy, causing you to moan into the kiss.

His fingers thrust mercilessly into you, making your legs involuntarily clench together. "Keep every last drop inside if you" he utters, pulling away from the heated kiss.

He let you have your fun with him, but now it was his turn. There is nothing more he wants to do than fill you up.

"Fuck, right there!" you chant, followed by pleas and cries of his name which sound like music in his ears.

"That's it" he purs, knowing exactly where to curl his fingers to abuse your g-spot. He feels you clench around his hand, your body wanting more than just his fingers.

"Gonna let me fuck a baby into you, Mrs. Jeon?" you nod, too fucked out to give a vocal response other than whines and moans.

"It's about time we had a mini us, yeah?" the thought of you carrying his baby turns him on more than he thought possible.

He replaces his fingers with his dick by lifting and slamming you by your hips onto him, suddenly flipping you over so that he's hovering over you now.

"Can't wait to make you a mama, you'll look so pretty round with our baby" he declares with his hand on your tummy, pistoning his hips relentlessly as he fucks you into oblivion.

"Can't - ah — wait to make you a daddy, kook" you mutter between his harsh strokes, and it makes him feel feral. The words coming out of your mouth only gets him going more.

"S-shit, gonna fuck you every day till youre leaking with my seed for weeks." he enunciates with each thrust.

His words send you spiraling through your orgasm. His eyes glisten with lust as he watches you lose yourself all over him. "Fuck, baby you're perfect. Took it so well." he bends over to kiss you while he continues to fuck you through your climax, til his own follows not long after yours.

He stills, no longer pumping in you, and slowly pulls out, watching in awe the product of both your arousal spill from you.

"I love you" he whispers into your skin when he drops beside you pulling you into an embrace.

"i love you more, kook" he hides his face into your neck when he blushes.

"I hope it's a girl" he confesses out of the blue. "We don't even know if I'm pregnant yet" you giggle.

"Well you will be, I'll make sure of it," he says with certainty, and you wonder where this confidence comes from.

"Round two in the shower?" any ounce of timidness he had 30 seconds ago when you told him you loved him is gone. He is one feral man. Only for you.

A/N: need to have a 3sum w these 2

add yourself to the taglist.

find my masterlist here 𝜗𝜚⋆

[evilminji]

You think the Chimpanzee from Dark LOVES Amity shops?

Like? Think about it...

How many places do you know, near where YOU LIVE, aren't gonna Be Weird About taking a sentient chimpanzee's legal tender. Selling him goods and services. Without, you know, doing the whole "is this a wild animal or a sentient Chimpanzee Detective person" Every Single Fucking Time, dispite him very CLEARLY wearing a suit.

Not treat him like a side show to be ogled at. Baby talked down too.

Treated as Less Then.

How many shops? Because yeah, he can buy things online. Ship them to drop points. Yes, he has a paying job. Legal rights he fought very, VERY hard for. And yeah, those rights are tenuous. Only as real as the willingness of those humans willing to enforce them. But? Money isn't worth much, with no where to spend it.

He's a grown fucking Chimpanzee for God's sake! It's frustrating and embarrassing having to ask his colleagues, to buy his groceries and other such goods, FOR him.

Then? He finds a preportedly "Meta Friendly" shop in the town he's currently working a case in? That reviews say is VERY good.

He'll be the judge of that.

After all, they all say that. Until a chimpanzee walks into their shop.

Only? Beyond the cashier's confused blinking? Nothing. They make what they CLEARLY think is a "discreet" call, the owner pops their head out from the back, look at him briefly, then merely nods. Says something into the phone that seems to clear everything up.

Not once his he bothered, as he peruses the shelves.

He even finds some tea he'd been having trouble locating and a lovely local bread that looks promising. Bobo? Has a new favorite grocery store. To hell that he must take the zeta tubes to get there. Worth it.

And that's BEFORE he learns, through a bit of artful small talk. That there is both a FULL TOWN like this AND a full network of shops/services he can locate through an app.

When they say Everyone Welcome, they truely do mean it.

He's brought swamp thing, shown up covered in blood, swung by with a literal angel for bandages and some water too make holy. Not so much as a blink. Seen Constantine staring blankly at the vodkas, like they offer salvation. The stockers step gently around. Morningstar? Not sure what he was BUYING, but Bobo watched him pay in a solid gold brick and leave with the basket.

He reported that one.

Still. It's? The most... normal, he's ever felt.

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes @hypewinter @hypewinter @dcxdpdabbles

[papaya-twinks]

happy meals - l.n

Warnings: None

Pairing: Lando Norris x fen!reader

Faceclaim: nOnE

SMAU

@maxiemclaren i told u I find myself funny

y/n

liked by y/nfans, carmenmundt, Lando orris and 256,027 others… captions: anyone who gets me happy meals is automatically my lover ❤️

user1: y/n pls I���ll buy the entire McDonald’s for you 🙏

-> user2: no, I’ll do it first!

user3: I hear you girl 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

user4: excuse my presence, but Lando in the likes?

-> user5: oooooo he’s plotting

landonorris: coca-cola is a sponsor of McLaren therefore you are advertising me

-> y/n: what in the Nando’s 👹👹

-> user6: they’re both menaces @/user4 I see it…

-> landonorris: stock market gonna break coz of u

❤️ by y/n

landonorris

liked by y/n, georgerussell63, martingarrix and 216,273 others… caption: I’m the reason for the stock marker spike actually 😼

user7: THEYRE DEFO FOR Y/N

-> user8: omg I see it I’m actually freaking right now 🏃

georgerussell63: simp 🫵🫵

-> landonorris: we’ll observed, russell 🤝

y/n: with chicken nuggets? 🥹

-> landonorris: all 11 of them 😁

-> y/n: gosh I’m in love

user9: Y/N SAYING SHES IN LOVE AIUENRMRKEIJSJE MY WIFE

y/n

liked by landonorris, f1, martingarrix and 216,273 others… caption: maccie maccie maccie love love love L L L ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user10: WHOS ‘L L L’

-> user11: girl keep up! She’s like flirting w Lando online lmao

-> user12: he’s more into her than she’s into him haha

maxverstappen1: ur gonna get lando off his diet

-> y/n: his problem ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris: ur my problem

-> y/n: good 👍

landonorris

liked by y/n, y/nnews, mclaren and 329,262 others… caption: how tf does she look so pretty…ordering maccies?

georgerussel63: took a while

-> landonorris: glad to call her mine

-> carmenmundt: she’s acc mine ☝️

-> y/n: @/landonorris yeah sorry…I’m taken

-> landonorris: 💔💔

maxverstappen1: I puked ❤️❤️

-> y/n: me when u steal someone else’s kids

-> maxverstappen1: DIFFERENT STORY

kimi.antonelli: so cute xx

-> y/n: thank u my dear son ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris: what?!

-> y/n: Kimi is our son

-> landonorris: I seem to have stumbled past that important detail

-> kimi.antonelli: mama y papa 💘💘💘💘

comments have been limited to close friends only.

[ginax0916]

₊✧ 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐞 ✧₊

Chris Sturniolo x hurt!gf!reader

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: Chris’s gf’s ankle is broken and he helps her even when she doesn’t need help.

*I got the idea of writing this from their recent Wednesday video where Chris tried to help Matt down the stairs*

✧˖°⋆⑅˚₊

“So what did the doctor say?” My boyfriend Chris asks as I walk back into the waiting room where he waits with his brothers.

“Well if you couldn’t already tell by the boot on my foot, my ankle is broken” I sarcastically say.

“Oh shit. What even happened?” Matt asks.

“My dumbass got on the kitchen counter to reach something from the top shelf and when I jumped down I landed on it wrong and then I heard a crack and well yall know the rest” I sigh limping to them.

“Yo you sure you’re good to walk all the way to the car love?” Chris asks holding me up by my waist.

“Oh by the way y/n it would be good to invest in crutches for the first few days! Forgot to mention that earlier” The doctor says as she walks out into the waiting room to call her next patient.

“Does that answer your question?” I laugh.

We sign the papers I needed to be discharged and both Chris and Matt help me limp back to the car since I refuse to be carried like a baby.

“I’m gonna stop at Walgreens because they sell crutches there I’m pretty sure” Matt says.

“But I don’t want crutches” I sigh for the hundredth time.

“Y/n the doctor literally walked out to tell you that you need crutches. We’re buying them” Nick retorts.

“Fine whatever” I slouch down in defeat.

“Ok we’re here. Y/n stay in the car so you don’t have to walk all the way there. Do you want anything else?” Matt questions.

“Can you get me some nerd gummy clusters please? Oooh and a bottle of raspberry Iced Tea if there is any” I smile.

“Of course kid” Matt smiles back.

“I’ll stay with her in the car” Chris says.

“Alright just don’t be making out once we get back” Nick rolls his eyes as he closes the door.

“How you feel ma? Does it hurt?” Chris asks and rubs my thigh.

“I’m okay. And no it doesn’t hurt it feels fine actually” I say.

“Alright then that’s good” I nod in agreement.

“So how am I meant to fuck you with your broken ankle”

“Chris! Why is that your first concern” I laugh.

“I literally asked if it hurt 2 seconds ago!” He lifts his hands in defense.

“Wow makes such a difference Christopher” I slap his arm.

“See! Fucking you was not my first concern initially” He points his finger at me laughing.

“Yea but it was your second which is insane” I giggle.

“Come on don’t act like it wasn’t yours” He smiles sheepishly.

“Oh shut up Chris” I laugh again.

“Oh good you’re both decent” Nick says startling us as he opens the car door.

“Come on we aren’t that immature Nick” Chris says.

“Oh trust me you are Christopher” Nick pats him on the shoulder.

“What’s with people and calling me Christopher today damn” Chris turns back around in his seat.

“Y/n I got you the ice tea you wanted and along with the candy. And unfortunately they were out of stock of crutches so they let us order them online so they should arrive in like 2-3 days” Matt comments as he gets in the car handing me my stuff.

“Thanks Matt” I say. “I can go 2-3 days without walking I’m sure” I chuckle.

“I can just carry you around” Chris speaks up.

“What a delight” I sarcastically say.

“Oh come don’t act like you don’t already ask me to carry you around because you’re too lazy” He says slightly offended by my joke.

“I’m joking baby of course I don’t mind being carried around by you” I giggle.

—

“I’m gonna go pick up Canes for dinner is that good with you guys?” Matt yells from the garage.

“Yes that’s perfect thanks Matt!” I yell back.

“Wait I wanna come with you I’m bored and you always get my order wrong any way” Nick says while running down the stairs to join Matt.

“See ya guys!” Nick says.

“Bye Nick!” Both Chris and I say back.

“So what do you wanna do mama?” Chris asks, sitting down on the couch with me.

“I’m not sure. What is there to do?” I turn my body to be facing Chris and I lay my head of the cushions behind me.

“We could watch a movie, watch YouTube, play a board game or just talk. Whatever you want baby” Chris says, grabbing both my legs and draping them over his lap careful to not hurt my ankle.

“Ummm I’m not sure. But I have to pee” I say getting up. Slightly wincing at the pain of my foot touching the ground.

“C’mere” Chris mumbles, picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom.

“Thank you Chrissy” I kiss him on the cheek.

“You’re welcome and don’t call me that again” He laughs.

“Can you take my pants off for me please?” I pout.

“Oh now you’re just being a baby. Your hands work perfectly fine” Chris rolls his eyes.

“Fine me the injured person who could die any second will pull her owns pants down god” I dramatically say.

“Oh shut up and go to the bathroom babe” Chris says walking out of the bathroom laughing.

As I finish I limp into the kitchen where Chris leans against the counter.

“Hey you’re not meant to be walking you should’ve called me” Chris says picking me up and setting me on the countertop.

“I swear I’m okay love” I smile cupping his cheeks.

“Yea well the boot on your foot says otherwise” He says and grabs my waist pulling me into a warm hug.

“I love your hugs” I say nuzzling closer into him.

“And I love hugging you” He mumbles, kissing my cheek.

“Can we go to your room and watch a movie while Nick and Matt get back?” I politely ask.

“Of course we can ma” Chris smiles helping me down from the counter.

“Alright c’mon I’ll carry you down the stairs baby” He comments as he bends down ready to pick me up.

“No wait I want to do it myself” I shake my head.

“Babe the doctor said you had to be in crutches you most definitely can’t go down the stairs by yourself” Chris sighs annoyed at my stubbornness.

“Please baby? I swear I can do it” I give him my best puppy eyes to convince him.

“No don’t look at me like that ma you know I’m gonna cave” Chris covers his face with his hands.

“I’m taking that as a yes” I giggle.

“But I will be right behind you and I’m going to pick you up the second I see you stumble understood?” Chris sternly says.

“Yes I understand” I smile.

I step one foot on the first step and then the next, grabbing tightly onto the rail I limp my way down to the 4th step. Only about 15 left oh god. I thought I could do it but it hurts really bad. There’s a stinging pain on my ankle every time I step. It’s bringing tears to my eyes. But I don’t want Chris to think that I’m weak and I can’t do it. But god does it hurt. It’s getting obvious that I can’t do it, I whimper in pain every time step, tears threatening to fall. I bring my hand up to wipe my eyes but I also stepped at the same time. I lose my balance and almost fall but Chris catches me. Oh fuck.

“Hey hey I got you, you’re ok” Chris picks me up bridal style and goes the rest of the way down to his room with me in his arms. My head resting on the crook of his next softly crying. I’m not even sure if it’s because of embarrassment or pain, maybe both.

He sets be down on the edge of the bed and kneels in front of me.

“What’s wrong baby, why’re you crying that pretty makeup away hm?” Chris sweetly asks, moving my hair out of my face.

“I just- I didn’t want you to think I was weak and couldn’t do it myself” I quietly replied with my voice cracking.

“Oh baby you’re not weak. You just have a literal broken ankle. Asking for help sometimes is never being weak ok? I will never ever judge you for anything especially not being able to go down the stairs with a broken ankle. I’m always here for you ma” Chris comforts me, rubbing my arms soothingly.

“Thank you Chris” I smile leaning it to hug him.

“I love you” He kisses my cheek, hugging me back.

“Who wants Canes!!” Matt yells from the top of the stairs.

“You gonna let me carry you now mama?” He laughs as he picks me up, my legs going around his waist carefully with my ankle.

“Took you guys long enough! I’m starving” Chris laughs.

✧˖°⋆⑅˚₊

[incorrectbatfam]

Can I please have Jason annoying his only big bro?

Dick: *chilling on the couch*

Jason: *walks in*

Dick: Bruce, Jason's in the living room!

———————

Jason: Where are you going?

Dick: The mall.

Jason: Can I come?

Dick: Sure, we leave in five minutes.

Jason: Roger.

Jason: *goes to his room*

Jason: *picks out a jacket*

Jason: *turns off all the lights in the house*

Dick: *looks at his watch*

Jason: *charges his phone*

Jason: *makes a sandwich*

Dick: Can you hurry it up?

Jason: Yeah yeah, hold your elephants.

Jason: *pours a drink*

Jason: *sits down to eat*

Dick: Are you KIDDING me?

———————

[online]

random_user: @dickwings who's your favorite sibling?

dickwings: I don't wanna say in case the others it.

random_user: @local-zombie what about you, who's your favorite sibling?

local-zombie: @dickwings it's Cass.

———————

Jason: Then Artemis told me—

*Dick's phone rings*

Dick: One sec.

Dick, to the phone: Hello?

Jason: As I was saying, Artemis told me that the stakeout's been relocated to Dinosaur Island last-minute, so immediately I'm suspicious. People like Sionis don't just—

Dick: *motions for Jason to be quiet*

Dick, to the phone: I didn't catch the second part, could you repeat that?

Jason: —change their plans last-minute, especially not with valuable cargo being passed down a complex multi-state network. This made me wonder if we—

Dick: *pushes Jason's chair away*

Jason, scooting back: —had the wrong guy to begin with and for once, Black Mask wasn't implicated. That meant we were navigating this case all wrong and the evidence we found were just to throw us off the real villain's trail. And you'll never guess who—

Dick: Sorry, Babs, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Dick: *hangs up and glares at Jason*

———————

Bruce: Why is the Batmobile green?!?

Jason: Dick and I had a run-in at the paint factory.

Dick: Don't drag me into this! You were the one driving.

Bruce: You have hour to clean it up. BOTH of you.

———————

Jason, wiping his hands: I did my half of the dishes. Your turn.

Dick: You washed one plate. There's still a whole sink.

Jason: I never said they were even halves.

———————

Jason: Dick, I'm hungry.

Dick, working on the Batcomputer: Go upstairs and ask Alfred for a snack.

Jason: You don't get it. I'm STARVING. I'm so hungry I can't make it up the stairs or else I'll die AGAIN.

Dick: I'm busy.

Jason: *flops onto the chair*

Dick: Get off me!

Jason: Buy me food?

Dick: Alright, alright, just quit crushing my ribs.

Jason: I call driving!

[later in the car]

Dick, texting Bette: Sorry I had to go so suddenly, my brother wanted food.

Bette's reply: Couldn't you tell him to wait?

Dick: *glances at Jason*

Jason: —and won't you fucking believe it, Bruce was all high-and-mighty like—

Dick, smiling softly, texting: You wouldn't get it.