#he’s got patterns it’s hilarious

[threefuckencrowsinatrenchcoat]

I haven’t seen anyone talking about THEEE Samama Khalid and his humming to himself as he works and this must be rectified. I LOVE HIS LITTLE SINGING HES SO CUTE AND REAL FOR IT JUSTICE FOR MY BOY YALL HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE HES SO FUNNY AND ADORABLE GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

[redflagshipwriter]

Fast Car Chapter Two (of four)

masterpost

Was this guy for real? Jason nearly decided not to get in out of suspicion. Danny was one of the very few loose ends in his crime yesterday. He sort of figured that eventually Batman would find the driver he’d used to get a duffle bag of heads to the police station. He stalled. It had seemed like an acceptable risk, since he hadn’t shown the guy his face. The only information that the police should have been able to get was where he’d left and that he’d used one of his victim’s phones to call for a ride.

And yet Danny was waiting patiently at the curb for the Red Hood to get in. Wasn’t he scared?

He had been all over the news yesterday. Danny had to know.

‘Either he’s dumb as a box or he is one of the chillest people I’ve ever even heard of.’

Morbid curiosity got him into the car. Danny locked the door as soon as the door was shut– but it was clearly routine. He’d done that yesterday, right. Jason waited a moment before he remembered that Danny wasn’t going to pull out until he had his seatbelt on. He let out a laugh and buckled up. It was pretty cute, actually.

Now that he wasn’t so distracted, maybe he could make small talk. Danny pulled them out into the sparse early morning traffic with an expression of determined focus.

Jason cleared his throat. “You moved to Gotham recently?” he started with. Danny didn’t have the local speaking pattern.

Danny nodded. “For school,” he shared easily. “I’m in the sciences program at Gotham U’s south campus.”

…So he wasn’t the world’s biggest dummy. Jason sat there and contemplated how catastrophically chill a body would have to be to chit chat with a man who had killed like 20 people yesterday that he knew of. Why wasn’t Danny scared? What was his damage? 

‘There’s something really wrong with him,’ Jason thought, with no small bit of admiration. Way too late he commented, “That’s cool, man.”

“Thanks.” Danny seemed unbothered by his long delay in conversation. “You know, I had to go to that same police station this morning.”

Jason tensed. Was Danny making some kind of threat?

“They got a whole shitton of muffins and six quiches delivered,” Danny went on. He appeared to feel no sense of danger in the car.

‘Is he… Did he decide to inform on the police to me?’ Jason’s eye twitched. ‘I already knew that I’d have ruined their whole month but… This is kinda satisfying to hear, actually.’ He made a listening sound to prompt Danny to continue. He couldn't lie; he was intrigued.

“Yeah, they looked like total shit.” Danny was so blithe about it that it became surreal and hilarious. “Exhausted. But that’s not my business.” He crinkled up his nose. “Do you know what they tipped me for that?” He didn’t wait for Jason to go on. “Two dollars.” He made a big gesture with his left hand that took it off the steering wheel despite the fact they were mid turn. “That’s ridiculous! I drove halfway across town, waited for the place to open, carried an absurd amount up those stairs, and for two dollars.” He blew a disrespectful raspberry.

“Fuck the police,” Jason said sympathetically. 

Aight. He saw how it was. He mentally tabulated what was in his wallet and allocated a cool thirty dollars to Danny as a tip. For an informant, that was as cheap as bagged rice. Helluva value. He leaned back in the seat and it squeaked under his weight. “How’s Gotham been treating you?”

“Fine, fine,” Danny said absently. He switched lanes a little too abruptly. “Not that different from home, honestly. I don’t know why people are so dramatic about it.” He floored it to squeak through a yellow light.

Jason had the dawning suspicion that Danny had been on his best driving behavior yesterday. But- “Where is home?” It was more morbid curiosity. He kind of regretted that he was nearly to his stop. 

“Amity Park. Illinois.”

Jason winced. “My condolences.”

Danny laughed, high and sort of eerie now that Jason was really listening to it. It sent an  electric zing up his spine. “That’s what they always say.” He seemed to find it really funny. Way funnier than it should have been.

‘...What are the odds that this guy is one of the weird mutants they make in Amity?’ Jason resisted the urge to ask prying questions. Talia had told him to stay the fuck out of that area so that she didn’t have to rescue him from a government black site. It wasn’t his business and he didn’t have the luxury of the time to go and investigate every cute boy with a nice laugh who wanted to be an informant to the Red Hood.

It was with extreme regret that Jason recognized his stop coming up. He let out a sigh. The voice scramblers in his hood turned it to static. He watched the curb approach with disappointment. Danny made to pull in next to a dark shop. Jason glanced into the windows and caught the reflection of the last person he wanted to see. 

“Batmobile.” He sat up straight, alarmed. It was parked out of sight in an alley. Shit. Shit, of course Batman had tracked back the delivery driver that had brought him to the police building. Fuck. How was he going to get away on foot-

Danny jerked back into the street and hit the pedal to the floor. The engine made a scream of machine fear but holy hell did it accelerate. Jason yelled too and grabbed onto the door handle. He aimed wide eyes at Danny, uncomprehending. 

“Fuck Batman!” Danny yelled out his open window, and they were off.

Holy shit. Holy shit!

The batmobile turned on, the normally silent engine’s purr rearing up to a threatening growl as Bruce veered out onto the street in pursuit.

Danny took them down an alley and Jason sharply readjusted his assessment of Danny’s intelligence. “We can’t fit!” He yelled, trying to pull the brake. If they had to stop in the alley it was all over, Batman would block them off.

Danny slapped his hand away and barreled-

Jason blinked as they raced down the impossibly narrow alleyway. He bit his lip. He looked at the car again, recalculating.

No. No, it definitely didn’t fit. He leaned a little away from the window, extremely uncomfortable. He looked at just the right time to see the passenger mirror collide with a dumpster and slide through undeterred.

Ah. Alright, then. He made a “Fair enough” face and turned around to see that the batmobile was lifting up and doing some weird transformers bullshit to fit down the alleyway. They were gaining ground from Batman. “Sorry I tried to touch the controls,” Jason said, a bit late. He glanced down and realized that his hand stung where Danny had slapped it. He pulled it to his chest and rubbed at it, frowning slightly.

“No worries,” Danny said tersely. He hit the breaks and raked the wheel car to make a fucking pinpoint turn without slowing. Just like that, they were out of Batman’s direct line of sight. A solid inch of the inside of the car overlapped with a folding chair outside someone’s home.

Jason eyed Danny judgmentally.

“Wow, that was a close fit,” Danny said, extremely unconvincing. “We are lucky, huh.” He aimed the car at a wall and somehow ramped up. 

‘I think I might be sick.’

Jason decided that the best thing for him to do right now was to close his eyes and say nothing at all. If Danny wanted plausible deniability for his mutant powers, that was whatever. 

‘How did Batman know where I was going?’ He worked through the problem. ‘Did he hack Danny’s account? If not, someone sold me out.’

Just like that, Jason had a list of people to visit for the day. “D’you think you could drop me off at C street instead?” He felt the uncomfortable swooping sensation in his stomach that indicated they’d made some kind of move that should not exist off of a rollercoaster.

“Yeah, of course, sorry about this.” Danny sounded a little breathless. “Ah- don’t look.” He cackled.

…’He’s dodging Batman for his benefit, not mine,’ the penny dropped. Jason laughed out loud and then leaned forward to hold his head in his hands. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Danny was the perfect man. They drove for a while in silence before Jason managed to collect himself. “No worries,” he said through tears. “Hey, no sweat if it’s no, but can I get your number?”

Danny paused.

Oh, fuck. Jason cringed. “I'll leave mine and you can call me if you ever need me,” he corrected hastily. “No pressure.” He scribbled it on the back of a loose receipt in Danny's cupholder and left it, mortified but also glad he shot his shot.

[verstappensrealwife]

Get in loser, we’re going shopping. - Max verstappen x fem!Reader

fluff

approx. 1100 words

warnings : fem!reader implied, lingerie, makeup?

max verstappen masterlist - here. f1 masterlist - here.

Victoria secret. Max Verstappen stood in Victoria's Secret, an unmistakable tension in his posture. He had clearly entered a world far outside his comfort zone, one where the vibrant pink stripes of the walls seemed to mock his unease. His usual confidence was nowhere to be seen as he fidgeted, eyes darting around like he was searching for an escape route, only to be met with racks of lacy bras and silk pajamas.

Every so often, he would sneak a glance at the scantily clad mannequins, immediately recoiling as though he had seen a ghost. When you picked up a particularly elaborate set of lingerie with a playful smile, Max’s gaze involuntarily followed your movements, only to snap away the moment he realized where his eyes had landed. His cheeks were turning a shade that could rival the blush of the silk and satin surrounding him.

“What do you think about this one?” you asked, holding up a dark blue, lace-up one-piece with a flourish, as if presenting a rare treasure. The garment seemed almost to sparkle in the store’s soft lighting.

Max’s eyes widened, his throat bobbing as he tried to process the question. “Oh—yeah—” His voice cracked, then steadied as he tried to muster a semblance of expertise, even though he looked like he was trying to decipher a complex mathematical formula. “Yeah. It, uh… looks good.”

You couldn’t help but snort with laughter. The sight of him standing there, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, was both endearing and hilarious. “Oh, come on, Max,” you said, tossing the dark blue creation into your basket with a dramatic flourish. “We can pay now. Stop worrying. You look like you’re about to break into a cold sweat.”

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and for a brief moment, his shoulders relaxed. As you made your way to the checkout, he kept his eyes resolutely on the floor, as if studying the intricate patterns of the carpet might somehow make this experience more bearable.

When the cashier flashed a friendly smile and began ringing up your purchases, Max’s face turned a shade of red that was almost a match for the store's pink décor. He shuffled his feet, looking everywhere but at the register, clearly relieved that the ordeal was coming to an end.

As you walked out of the store, basket in hand, Max let out a sigh of relief. “Well,” he said, trying to sound casual, “at least that’s over.” He gave you a sideways glance, and despite his discomfort, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Next time, let’s do something less, uh, colorful.”

You laughed, looping your arm through his as you headed toward the next store. “Deal,” you said, still chuckling. “But I have to say, you’ve got a pretty good eye for lingerie.”

Max shot you a playful glare, though his lips twitched upward. “Just don’t make me go back there anytime soon.

Sephora. The moment you stepped in, you were greeted by the familiar scents of perfumes, the vibrant displays of makeup, and the soft lighting that made everything feel luxurious. Max followed closely, looking a bit out of place but curious nonetheless.

“Alright, what’s first here?” he asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.

You laughed, enjoying his willingness to go along with it. “Well, I need to restock on a few things. But first, let’s find you a cologne. I think you’ll like it.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but game. “Alright, show me the way.”

You guided him to the fragrance section, where rows of sleek bottles lined the shelves. You picked up a few testers, spraying them on the little cards and holding them out for him to smell.

“This one’s nice,” you said, offering him a card with a fresh, woodsy scent.

He sniffed it, nodding in approval. “Not bad, actually. Do you like it?”

“I do,” you replied, smiling. “But let’s try a few more.”

You went through several options, each time watching his reactions as he tried to distinguish the notes—some he liked, some not so much. Finally, you both agreed on one that was a perfect balance of musk and spice.

“Alright, I’m sold,” he said with a grin. “Now, what else are we getting?”

You laughed, knowing full well he had no idea what he was in for. “Well, I need a new foundation, and maybe a lip gloss or two. You can help me pick.”

As you moved to the makeup section, Max started to loosen up, asking questions about the different products. You explained the basics of what each one did, enjoying the role reversal as he tried to understand why you needed five different shades of lipstick.

“Why not just one?” he asked, holding up a bright red tube.

You giggled, shaking your head. “Different occasions, different moods! It’s all about options.”

He seemed genuinely interested as you swatched a few colors on your hand, comparing shades and textures. “This one’s nice,” he pointed out, picking up a soft pink shade.

“Yeah? I like it too,” you said, adding it to your basket. “Good choice.”

After a while, Max even started having fun, pointing out products that caught his eye and making playful comments. By the time you reached the skincare section, he was fully engaged, asking about face masks and moisturizers.

“What does this do?” he asked, holding up a jar of night cream.

“It helps keep your skin hydrated while you sleep,” you explained, opening the jar so he could smell it.

He gave it a cautious sniff, then smiled. “Maybe I should start using this. I could have skin as nice as yours.”

You laughed, nudging him playfully. “Maybe you should! We could do face masks together.”

He smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Only if you pick the least girly one for me.”

“Deal,” you agreed, feeling a warm sense of happiness that he was willing to dive into your world, even if it was just for an afternoon.

By the time you left Sephora, Max was carrying the bag, looking surprisingly pleased with himself. “You know, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” he admitted. “And I got a new cologne out of it.”

You smiled, looping your arm through his. “See? I told you it’d be fun.”

“Alright, next time, we’re going to my store,” he warned playfully.

“Deal,” you said with a laugh. “But you might have to drag me out of the next one.”

As you walked out of the shopping centre together, you couldn’t help but feel a little closer, grateful for a boyfriend who was up for anything, even an impromptu trip into the world of Sephora.

[vivwritesfics]

Rough You Up

She's a genius. She knows what makes a race winner win. It's being injured. Oh, Oscar is going to get it.

warnings: Crack violence, blood

"Oscar, my love, my wonderful boyfriend. Do you think you'd win if you broke your arm?" She asked as she leaned against his shoulder, close enough that she could stick her tongue out and lick him if she so wanted to.

Oscar Piastri loved his girlfriend, but she was a little bit... concerning. But he loved her. This was a part of the reason why.

He looked at her with his brow furrowed, corner of his mouth turning up just a little. "I don't think I'd be able to drive?" He said, voice going up at the end to make it a question.

A huff left her lips as she lifted her chin from his shoulder and sat back on the sofa, head hitting the arm of the sofa as she closed her eyes. She sighed. Loudly.

"Okay," Oscar said, bringing his hand down to settle on her knee. It was such a small thing that he did, but she loved it. Not that she was going to express it at that moment. "What's going through that head of yours? Why do you want to break my arm?"

And suddenly she was sitting up, voice filled with excitement as she spoke. "Okay, okay, so I worked it out, right? The Spaniard that we do not name had his appendix out before Australia and then he won Australia!" (Note: Oscar and Carlos have all of their beef on track. Oscar is far too chill to ever really have a problem with anybody. His girlfriend knows this, but she was just having fun).

Oscar let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. But she was having fun, and he was having fun watching her have fun. "What else have you got?"

"Lando's win," she said instantly. "He hurt his nose to the point where he had a literal bandage on race day and then he went and fucking won it! Osc, there's a pattern here! You get hurt, you win a race! Now let me break your arm!"

He pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. "You can't break my arm," he whispered, kissing her nose when she glared at him.

***

"Oscar, c'mere!" She shouted.

Oscar was careful as he walked into the kitchen. He'd tried to walk in a few minutes ago, but had seen her grabbing the frying pan from the drawer and hiding behind the door.

She didn't swing it towards him. She gave him the courtesy of revealing where she was first. "No," he said immediately, grabbing the frying pan from her hands. "No you can't break my nose."

A glare sat on her face for two seconds, before it became a pout. "But you might win Imola," she mumbled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He put the frying pan on the table and placed his hands on her hips. "You saying I can't win without getting put in the hospital first?" He asked and squeezed slightly.

"No, no, Oscar, I'm not saying that at all," she mumbled, head falling against his chest as she listened to his heartbeat. "All I'm sayin' is that you've got Max Verstappen up ahead in a Red Bull. Maybe if I break your nose..."

Oscar was only slightly terrified. But he kept a hold of her. Because if he was holding her, she wasn't able to attack him. Holding her might have been the only thing keeping him safe (No he didn't really believe that, but better safe than sorry).

"Please don't break my nose."

"Pussy."

***

It had been his fault, his fucking fault.

Oscar Piastri couldn't quite believe it as he sat on the closed lid of the toilet, his girlfriend in front of him as she held tissues to his gushing nose. It had been his fault. He'd been the one to injure himself.

"Oscar, I love you, but this is fucking hilarious."

"Shut up," he groaned as she threw away the tissue and grabbed another. "Besides, it's not gonna change the outcome of the race."

Suddenly she swapped to hold the tissue with her left hand as she pulled her phone from her pocket. "What're you doing?" Oscar asked as he tried to look down at her screen.

"Nothing!" She said quickly. "Definitely not changing my fantasy team." Oscar rolled his eyes and squeezed her hand. He loved this woman. "Besides. This means you're gonna win in Spain, which is kinda poetic after Carlos read one of your home races."

Of fucking course, Oscar one in Spain. He couldn't quite believe it as he finished in front of the nineteen other cars.

He was unbelievably happy. Of course he was, it was his first proper race win. It had only taken him a season and a bit to get his first proper, full length race win.

"I fucking told you!" She shouted in his ear as he practically pulled her over the barriers. "If I cut off your leg, do you think you'll get a championship?"

"I love you!" He shouted over the cheers from the McLaren team. "But you can't cut off my leg!"

"Watch your back, Piastri!"

[diminuel]

I just had the hilarious image in my head I had to share. While Dragon is away, and Wani + the baby/babies are at home. Wani gets a little bit lonely (and a bit delusional from the hormones) so he tapes a shoe to a stick. Because the pattern on the bottom of the shoe kinda looks like Dragon's tattoo or something XD. Anyway so he's talking to this Shoe Dragon. Fast forward to when Dragon actually comes home, and the baby/babies think the shoe is their Daddy and they look at real Dragon like "who tf is this?"

Hope you got a laugh out of this nonsense! XD

Shoe Dragon...!!

Yes, thank you so much, this idea really cheered me up!!

[gendercomsumer]

hiii ^^ I would like some headcanons for riddle, malleus, vil and rook with a fem mc that accidentally ends up making them laugh (because what she says or does is very random xd maybe an example would be like jennifer lawrence sjjs she is very funny ) well that's all, thanks and take care <3

Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook with an S/O who can make them laugh with the most random things

A/N: Hello to you too Anon! I know this has been in my inbox for gods knows how long- But thank you still for sending this in! I hope this is to your liking! I actually did watch some Jennifer Lawrence videos for inspiration and I have to agree the comedic timing she has is perfect!! I also used some google translate in Rooks part so it may not be accurate ^^;

Characters: Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook

Warnings: Cursing to a mild degree, playful mention of stalking in Rooks (I love him I swear!!!), lightly proof read

Fem!Reader

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is a bit difficult to get a good genuine laugh out of, at least in my opinion.

Like sure you have a small chuckle when he finds something amusing, but i feel like it'd be a bit of a challenge to get a good genuine laugh out of.

Then you came in, saying the strangest things at the most unrelated times!

And Ace and Deuce find this absolutely hilarious

You'll say the most out of pocket shit with the straightest face and somehow half the people around you start to laugh some others breaking out in giggles

Ace and Deuce have definitely talked about this 'talent' of yours, at least in their words.

You had said some of these strange comments around Riddle and he found them strange a bit endearing as well

I'd think the time you got a good laugh out of him was when you had come with him to take care of some of the hedgehogs

The two of you were sitting in the grass some of the hedgehogs were playing while a few had decided that climbing on the two of you was a good way to pass the time

One had wandered up onto your head and almost fell off but luckily you were able to save the little guy before he fully hit the ground

After Riddle worriedly checked the little guy over you while looking over his shoulder at the small animal said:

"Well at least we know this one has no self preservation"

Unwillingly, or maybe subconsciously, a small laugh makes it's way through Riddles chest to his lips.

Well, now maybe he saw what those two were blabbering on about

Your little comments were always appreciated with Riddle

Even if they didn't cause him to laugh they did brighten his mood at least somewhat

"Yes, this one does tend to be a bit of a handful. Reminds me of a certain rose I know"

He teased before you two fell back into the pattern of caring for the small animals

More chuckles and comments to come no doubt

Malleus Draconia

At first Malleus didn't understand why the rest of Diasomnia found your remarks so comical

Yes his child of man did tend to bring a certain warmth where ever she walked

But he didn't see this as an excuse for the amount of laughter you cause people around you

Most of the remarks you make will fly over his head

I'm sorry but he seems like the kind of guy to not get the joke until you explain it to him-

Now the Thorn Prince does share a few chuckles with those around him when he finds something amusing, similar to Riddle

But it's even more difficult to get a laugh out of him considering he doesn't get a lot of the play on words type of jokes

but something abrupt and slightly out of context?

I feel like that would get some sort of laugh out of him

One day you were talking with Malleus about some of the things you did in your old world

The topic of amusement parks came up and you started listing the rides you used to go on as a child

Roller coasters, bumper cars, lazy rides where you could relax, until you blanked on the name of a ride

It was frustrating considering it was probably something simple and you would remember it after their conversation, but you wanted to keep the ball rolling

Malleus mean while was partly enjoying seeing how frustrated you got over a simple word

You really were a strange thing weren't you Child of man?

"I'm sorry Mal- I know what I'm thinking of! It's on the tip of my tongue- It's like one of those horse tornado things!"

Horse.. tornado..?

Now that got Malleus attention

he understood the other rides you described, favoring the lazy rides

but what ever this horse tornado was... it sounded.. strange, yet curious at the same time

"CAROUSELS!! FUCKING CAROUSELS, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!"

Malleus let out a small puff of air before he started chuckling under his breath

You truly were a strange one weren't you child of man, just like the world you came from

Malleus pressed a kiss to your forehead letting out one more chuckle before speaking

"Truly fascinating, maybe one day you could bring me to one of these 'horse tornados' you have me interested"

Sure jokes your fly over his head, but he would tease you some what for your small skips in memory

Vil Schoenheit

Now Vil, having acted in a lot of movies, (If I'm correct) Would have probably had a few good laughs in that line of work

Weather that be on set or behind the cameras

But he doesn't often let out a good laugh in public, it's not really part of the proper image he'd want to put out there

As for behind closed doors or with close friends he's definitely willing to have a laugh

And who better to bring a smile to his face than his lovely sweet potato?

Though one good moment always stuck out to him that caused him to have one of the most genuine laughs in awhile

The two of you were getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, courtesy of Vil of course, hair, makeup, shoes things like that

While Vil was sitting at his vanity working on his eyes when you came out of the bathroom in a stunning dress hand picked by Vil

It brought out all your best features while still being enough coverage to where it wasn't uncomfortable to wear into a public area

The two of you made idle conversation as you sat on a near by chair to slip on a matching set of heels for the dress

As you stood up in the heels to work on your own makeup you lost your balance thanks to the new height the heels provided

Although Vil was quick to catch you making sure you came no where near the floor he still was concerned

"Oh sweet potato are you alright? What happened?"

Yes looking back on it the question seemed dumb but he was concerned

but you just let out a giggle while regaining your balance before saying:

"Well I'm not sure what happened, but I remember wanting to yell 'fuck' as my last words before I embarrassed myself"

Vil took a moment while looking at you

then a chuckle escaped his lips which soon turned into the two of you sharing a small laugh

Now Vil doesn't know why he laughs at your antics, in hindsight they're just normal phrases

But maybe it's the delivery?

Or the way you smile at him?

What ever it may be it always causes a smile to grace his lips or a chuckle to be drawn from him

Sure Vil maybe all about preserving beauty and making sure he looks flawless

But if he happens to get a few smile lines because of your antics, he will never hold it against you

"Well my darling, I'm glad to hear you're alright. It would be a shame if you or your lovely dress got roughed up before we left. Now come, you still want to do your makeup don't you? Allow me to help"

Rook Hunt

Now Rook has plenty of laughs in his life

Weather that be from stalking some poor soul or a genuine laugh among friends

Rook out of the four is probably the easiest to get a laugh from

He's a joyful guy wanting to see all nature and the world has to offer! Can you blame him?

Then enters you who some how can't help but leave Rook giggling when ever you do something!

You put your tie on wrong? Oh silly Trickster aren't you just the sweetest thing!

Then comes your words which to Rook is a whole new ball park

Rook tends to hold onto every word meant for him, weather that be written or spoken out loud

His darling Tricksters words are so elegant and so sweet how could he not treasure everyone!

What really gets him chuckling and laughing is the moments when your words aren't as sweet and graceful

Cut to one day when you and Rook were in the fields often used for flying class

Rook had a desire to teach you archery so he happened to drag you along with a quiver and bow to some targets set by his hand

After the first few moments of Rook teaching you how to properly hold and aim the bow and making sure your arm guard was secure (He wouldn't want his darling trickster to get rope burn!) He let you shoot

All was going well as you hit targets in an... acceptable way

But all that seemed to end when a large gust of wind sent your best shot yet off course and into the ground

And just as Rook was about to offer some encouragement to keep going and try once more

some colorful language came from you to say the least

"Wind!? Really!?! Could you not wait two fucking minuets!! Nooooo! You just had to thro my best shot off course you-!"

Now don't get Rook wrong he hold the sweet words you two share close to his heart

But there was just something about you yelling at the wind of all things that caused him to start laughing

As he laid on the grass of the field eyes closed as he laughed

Oh? It seems your colorful language is directed towards him now? Even better!

"Trickster- reine de mon coeur! Please I believe- I believe you have shared plenty enough words with the wind today!"

A/N: This is actually the first time I've taken a good look at the name of Malleus' dorm. Dia = Dragon. Somnia = Sleep

Diasomnia = Dragon of sleep

just a ting i found silly :)

[dira333]

Of Lovers and Friends - Ushijima x Reader

thank you @screamin-abt-haikyuu talking to you is inspiring

If you find a typo, I wrote this instead of going to bed. Goodnight.

“Just a Tonic Water, please,” You order, well aware of all the eyes on you.

“Are you sick?” Kindaichi asks, already pressing a hand against your forehead.

“Pregnant?” Kunimi’s next, though less serious.

“As if, you can’t get pregnant from RPG,” Makki points out, licking foam off his lip.

“You would know,” you tell him, a little peeved, as you push Kindaichi away.

“I’m fine. I just have a date later.”

Yahabi whistles, clearly impressed. God, you need to amp up your game. This is just sad.

“Who is it?” Kyoutani asks, forever your best friend. Or at least the one guy who’s seemingly the least interested in teasing you.

“I don’t know, my Mom set us up. She went to school with his Mom or something like that. I just know that he plays Volleyball and is about my age.”

“Could be anyone,” Watari mumbles into his Aperol Spritz.

“Could be Ushijima,” Mattsun jokes, causing Makki to choke on his beer, spluttering as he bellows out a laugh.

“Can you imagine? That would be hilarious!”

“Har har har,” you thank the waitress for your drink and lean back in your chair, “Can we change the topic? Does Makki have a job yet?”

“Uncalled for!” Makki points an accusing finger at you. “And no. But a little birdy told me that Kyoutani’s got a fangirl.”

Kyoutani blushes, glaring into his drink. The girl must mean something to him if he’s trying to pull himself together like this. You swerve to look at Kindaichi who’s managed to spill his diet coke - again.

“What about you? Did you call that girl we met at the coffee shop?”

“No,” he ducks his head. “I didn’t. I was… I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.”

“Yeah, well, you did,” Makki lets his eyes wander as usual, “Tell you what. There’s a nice girl with her friends two tables over. We’ll get you her number but you have to call. Or at least send her some funny memes, okay?”

“Okay,” Kindaichi’s looking at you. Makki’s looking at you.

You groan and get up. “Next time you get someone else to get that number, okay? This is the last time.”

“Love you too, pumpkin!” Makki calls after you as you make your way over. These patterns have turned familiar.

-

You should have gotten a beer, you think two hours later as you wait, your legs twitching with anxiety. 

You’ve been painfully single for so long that you can’t help but feel you should have worn a dress or at least something more fancy than the jeans and top combo you’re sporting. But it’s comfy and it sets you at ease. And you’ve always been an advocate for being yourself on the first date. If they don’t like you like that, they won’t matter anyway.

So far that has brought you a lot of first dates and not a lot of second dates.

A deep voice calls out your name. You turn, your hands clutching the single purple carnation you had to bring - your mother’s idea. 

You spot the flower first, a tiny purple thing held in massive hands. He’s tall, impressively so. You let your eyes wander up as he walks over, the flickering street light casting long shadows over his face until he’s reached you and the soft warm glow of the restaurant behind you. 

Your heart skips a painful beat as he attempts a rather forced smile.

“Ushijima-kun,” you stutter, the confidence earned in twenty-something years shattered and replaced by the anxious brain of a teenager.

He offers you his hand, the one without the flower and you take it. His palm swallows yours, his grip warm and firm. If you can blend out the history your team has with his, that your friends have with him, you can give him a chance, right?

-

“Are you close with your mother?” He asks in the tense moment when the food’s already been ordered and the drinks aren’t served yet. It’s the worst possible question to ask, too, because no, you’re not close. Not since she went through with the divorce, unable to settle with a man ever since, as dissatisfied with them as she is with life, her business, you.

You don’t ramble often, but you do when you’re nervous. 

If he’s taken aback by the flood of words, of trauma seemingly long overcome, he does not show. He’s like a rock, sitting steadfast in the crashing river of your emotions, unmoving, sturdy.

When you’re finished, throat a little dry, he nods slowly. 

“My parents are divorced as well,” he says. You wonder if he’s told it often. 

“How was it for you?” You ask and the surprise in his eyes tells you that he hasn’t been asked this before. 

His tale is told more slowly. He hands out information bit by bit, always confirming that you’re still listening, still interested in what he has to say about this topic. You share a bottle of wine over his parent's divorce, the main dish just an accessory to the topic at hand. 

When his words run dry and the last drop of wine is poured into your glass, your mind a little fuzzy and his lips tinted a little blue, you are full and empty at the same time. All the anxiety has left you over dinner. 

Seijoh and your friends are far, far away but Ushijima - Wakatoshi, as he asks you to call him - is right there.

“Do you want to share dessert?” You ask and his eyes light up with a new emotion, one you haven’t seen before on him. It’s a little softer, makes him look a little younger, maybe.

“Do you like chocolate?” He asks, leaning forward a bit as if to share a secret.

“Who doesn’t?” You ask back and learn about his best friend.

-

“This was nice,” you say when he walks you to the train station, slowing his steps to be in tune with yours. The cold night air does wonders for your fuzzy brain but the chill is less pleasant. You shiver.

“Here.” A warm weight settles over your shoulders. His jacket drapes over your skin like it was made for this. It smells good, too. 

It’s not the first time you wonder if there will be a second date. But it’s the first time you really, really hope there is.

The train station appears much too soon. You want to prolong this evening, stay longer in this emotion that you cannot name. But you’re a realist at heart and you slip his jacket off before you become too used to its warmth.

“Keep it,” his large hand stops your movement, easily takes hold of yours. “You can give it back the next time.”

“Next time?” You ask, unable to keep that hopeful tone out of your voice. 

“I don’t have much free time,” Wakatoshi explains, “Could we meet again in a week? Same time, same place?”

You nod, much too eager to come off as nonchalant. It reminds you of Kindaichi, but you cannot bring yourself to care. You give him your number and feel your lips slip into a smile when he immediately texts you so that you have his as well.

Overhead your trains arrival is announced. You turn, still unwilling to part.

“Until Friday,” Wakatoshi says, one last wave. “Good night.”

- - -

You sleep well, better than you have in days.

It’s only when you wake up that you realize what this means.

You have a second date. The first in a long time. 

But as excited as you are for it, dread still settles in your stomach. How on earth will you explain this to your friends?

The answer is, you don’t.

When you meet up for beers and games on wednesday, Makki consolingly pats your shoulder. He seems to think your date went awful and you do nothing to correct him. You only feel a little guilty. It’s his fault for not even asking.

The others seem to already have forgotten. The news of Kindaichi getting a first date is more exciting and you let yourself get dragged into it, give him fashion advice - that goes ignored - and laugh with the others when Yahaba tries to fix his hair.

It’s only Friday afternoon that your nerves make themselves known.

Surely there’s nothing wrong in dressing similar again. Wakatoshi didn’t seem to mind and neither should you.

But you want to, you desperately want to… look a little better. You want him to look at you, unable to catch his breath, unable to form words, at least for a few seconds. Is that too much to ask for?

But you don’t own any Make-up, courtesy of rebelling against everything that makes you think of your mother. So you do the next best thing and call Mattsun.

“I’m not late,” he answers, immediately defensive. Right, you’re still on for drinks before the date. You can’t think about that now.

“I don’t care. Get your girlfriend on the phone, I need help.”

“What? Why?”

“Girls-stuff, you wouldn’t understand.” 

Miri agrees to join you for drinks. According to her she won’t need more than ten minutes in the bar bathroom to give you a little bit of an extra kick.

“You don’t want to look too different to what he’s seen the last time,” she reasons as you go over the few options of fancier clothes you have.

You're anxious the whole time, nurse one soda after the other. Even Kunimi notices.

“Second date?” Kyoutani asks. Makki’s eyes widen in surprise. You hate it.

“Maybe,” you grumble, getting up to pee once more. 

“What? You didn’t tell us the first one went well.”

“You didn’t ask,” you tell him as you make your escape to the bathroom. But this is Makki. He doesn’t let go of a topic.

“What’s his name?” He asks as soon as you’re back. “What team does he play for?”

“Let me get through this date first,” you huff, trying to sound more relaxed than you are. 

“He’s nice?” Kyoutani asks, able to put a threat and a question and a whole lot of worry in those few words. 

“Yeah,” you say, a little flustered just by the thought of him. The boys go silent around you. 

“Wow, you really like that guy,” Mattsun points out. 

“Shut up,” you grumble and empty your glass, calling for another. You don’t want to talk about it.

“Anyway,” Miri points out and you’ll forever be thankful for that, for her switching topics when you need it most, “Mattsun and I have decided to move together. We’re still debating about which apartment to move into, though.”

“Are you for real?” Makki’s always the first to put in his two cents, “Miri’s apartment is way better.”

Miri laughs. “Thank you Makki, I knew I could count on you.”

-

“There, done.” Miri steps away. You look at yourself in the mirror, the knots in your stomach slowly loosening. You don’t look like a clown, not like your mother either. 

“What did you do?” You ask, a little perplexed by how long your lashes suddenly are. 

“Mascara and some eyeliner. A little lipgloss too, you can reapply it when you’re at the restaurant.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime. If you want, we can go shopping for some of this stuff. You don’t need much and I can show you how to do the little things you might want to do sometimes.”

“Ah,” you look away, embarrassed, “Let me get through this date first.”

Miri smiles, understanding visible in her eyes. 

“Go get him, tiger,” she tells you when you part ways.

- - -

Wakatoshi is already waiting for you. 

Warmth pools in your stomach when he stills at your sight, his eyes warm as they wander over your face. 

“You look beautiful,” he tells you and you have to look away, too flustered to face him for a second.

“Am I not beautiful all the time?” You joke, hoping against hope that he does not notice the way your voice breaks slightly.

“Of course,” Wakatoshi tells you immediately, not an ounce of insincerity in his voice. You have to swallow twice before you’re able to talk again.

“You’re very pretty too,” your voice is doing funny things. You offer your hand to shake, a little unsure of what greeting is correct. He takes your hand in his, not to shake it, but to hold it all the way to the table and you’re unable to look anyone in the eyes until you’re seated, your insides a fluttery mess.

-

“Can I see you again?” Wakatoshi asks when you reach the train station, his jacket a comforting weight on your shoulders, your hand resting in his.

You nod, unable to hide your eagerness. 

You can’t blame the buzzing of your mind on alcohol this time. He’s calmly explained that he can’t drink often with his strict diet, has to choose between dessert or a glass of wine most of the time. It didn’t feel right to drink when he wasn’t allowed to.

Somehow your conversations feel deeper, more meaningful without the alcohol coating them. You know he means it when he asks and he knows you mean it when you nod.

Overhead, your train is announced. You don’t let go of his hand.

“I could do a little walk,” you say, “What do you say?”

You kiss his cheek when you eventually part. His skin is soft and warm underneath your lips. It follows you into your dreams.

-

On Wednesday you get a text just as you head out to meet the boys for beers and games.

“I’ve got out of practice earlier. Do you want to go for a walk?”

You go back inside, put on the lipgloss Miri had lent you as you text him your confirmation. You think about kissing him and wipe it off again, unsure of what you want. In the end you put it into your pocket just in case.

“Can’t come today, I have another date,” you text the group chat. 

Makki’s the first to answer, per usual, but his use of emojis has your anxiety rising so you put your phone on silent. You’ll deal with this on Friday.

It’s not yet time for the Sakura blossoms, but the park is beautiful anyway.

Not that you can focus on much besides the feeling of your hand in his, the way his voice rumbles in his chest as he talks about practice and his plans to meet up with his old teammates. 

You like this, the calmness of it all. You like him, with his serious expression and his direct way of asking. You like how he never fails to ask how your day has been, how he’s interested in all aspects of your work, even the little ones that no one seems to care about.

You like him, a lot. And if the way he looks at you is any indication, he likes you too. 

It’s when you’re on your way back, the setting sun bringing forth a chill, that someone calls your name.

You turn, your hand still firmly in Wakatoshi’s grasp, only to spot Kyoutani. He’s frozen on a near path and you know with certainty that he’s recognized your date. Your heart beats painfully in your throat and you feel sick.

“Everything okay?” Wakatoshi asks at the same time the girl next to Kyoutani pulls her massive scarf down to look at you. She looks familiar, blond hair, brown eyes, petite figure. It’s only when she opens her mouth to ask Kyoutani what’s going on that you recongize her. She’d been Karasuno’s volleyball manager. Yachi something.

Kyoutani seems to realize that you’ve recognized her because his face turns dark. He shakes his head at Yachi, points into the distance and leads her away. 

You’re still frozen next to Wakatoshi, realization washing over you like the cold floods of the  Tamagawa. 

“Is everything okay?” He asks again, cradling your face in his hands to make you look at him. You blink to clear your mind, wish you could just lean into his touch and disappear forever.

“You know what school I went to, right?”

“Aoba Johsai, yes. You were a manager for their volleyball team.”

“Yes,” He must have realized the truth already, still he asks you to say it out loud. “I’m still friends with the team, like you are with yours. They are not… They’re not fans of you.”

“I understand.” Wakatoshi nods. His hands slip away from your face, you miss them immediately.

You didn’t plan for it to go like this. He’s got an uncanny ability to make you open yourself up. Being vulnerable feels less scary when it’s him. 

He takes your hand again, guides you around the park for another round as you tell him all there is to know about your poor attempts at dating. How it sucks to be “just one of the boys” sometimes. How it hurts that they don’t even ask anymore if you’ve got a second date. How scary it is to admit to them that you’re dating him.

You bite your tongue after those last words. You’ve been on two dates so far, this is your third. Is it too forward to call this “dating”? What if he’s not-

“I understand if you want to keep this a secret for longer,” he says. His voice is heavy in a way that tells you that there’s more to it. 

Two things can be true at the same time. Understanding it won’t mean that he’ll appreciate it.

“I will… I will try and talk to them,” you promise. And you will. Even if you could keep this a secret, you won’t if it hurts him. And you can tell that it hurts.

-

You wish you could kiss him goodbye. But you can tell that he’s distanced himself, put up a wall to protect his heart. 

“On Wednesday we usually meet up to drink beer and play games,” you explain, wringing your hands, “They should all be there right now. Well, except Kyoutani. I will... I will go and talk to them right now.”

He nods. Your voice breaks a little when you ask. “Are we still- Are we still on for Friday?”

“Of course,” his deep voice soothes your anxious heart a little. You take a step forward and hug him, stiff and awkward, before you move back.

“I really like you, Wakatoshi,” you say before you can take it back, swallow it down, hide it from the world. 

“I like you too.”

- - -

Makki is already buzzed when he opens the door.

It’s probably not the best time to talk about things like this, but you want to get this over with. If you talk about it now, the dust will settle by Friday. Or so you hope.

There’s an iPad on the coffee table, Iwaizumi and Oikawa grinning back at you. You accept a beer, almost drop it with how jumpy you are, your legs unable to stay still.

“So, how was your date?” Makki asks, cutting off one of Oikawa’s rants.

“Good,” you say and take another sip of beer, “We met Kyoutani at the park.”

“Oh?” Mattsun looks up from his phone. “So you met the girl he fancies?”

“Maybe,” you shrug, unwilling to give up his secret. He’s got his one fears to face. 

“What you mean, dear Mattsun,” Makki teases, “Is that Kyoutani met her boyfriend.”

Oikawa gasps dramatically. “No way?! You got a boyfriend? Who is it!”

“Ushijima,” you say, ripping the bandaid off in one swoop.

Makki cackles, spurned on by Oikawa’s apparent confusion.

“Good one,” Mattsun jokes as Iwaizumi snorts. The younger players don’t think the joke’s that funny. It’s Kunimi who bothers you the most, his perceptive eyes locked onto your face.

“Guys,” he cuts through the laughter, “She’s serious.”

And it would have turned out better, you suppose, without the beer. Because Oikawa gets more petulant when drunk and Makki’s jokes are a bit less funny and a lot more mean when he’s buzzed. The younger guys don’t really know how to mediate. That has always been your job, or Iwaizumi’s. But the distance does not work in your favor.

You leave half an hour after you’ve arrived, angry tears streaming down your face. 

It’s always the people closest to you that hurt you the most. They know what parts of you are the most sensible, and which parts of you are still bruised, still in the process of healing.

You press your phone to your ear.

Wakatoshi picks up right away.

“I talked to them,” you press out. Your voice is doing funny things again and you swallow back another wave of tears, less motivated by anger and more by hurt.

“Do you want to come over?” He asks and you don’t hesitate to agree.

It hurts to fight, to possibly lose good friends over something as stupid as old rivalries, but Wakatoshi is good at soothing over it, with warm hands and the gentle rumble of his voice as he holds you close.

-

You don’t meet up with the boys on Friday. No one has bothered to invite you.

You watch Wakatoshi practice instead, laughing about Kageyama who pesters you about how to better his form - you’re a licensed sports therapist after all - and teasing Hoshiumi who fake gags every time you throw Wakatoshi a kiss. 

You move your date to Wakatoshi’s apartment, cook dinner together - it turns out pretty decent - and talk through the night. When you wake up in his arms on Saturday morning you know that you want this to go on, that you want this to be a relationship that lives instead of dies, one that strengthens over time.

- - -

You’re a little surprised to find Mattsun and Makki at your work. 

It’s Wednesday and they should be working too, well, at least Mattsun should.

“Iwaizumi called us every day,” Mattsun admits eventually, “Apparently we’ve been dicks.”

“Yeah,” you tell him bluntly, noticing that Makki’s still stubbornly staring out of the window. “You were.”

“Oikawa’s still pissed,” Mattsun admits next, taking a seat in front of your desk. “But he’ll get around. Kunimi pointed out that it was a blind date. You didn’t actively pick him.”

“Even if-” You start but Mattsun just shakes his head. “It’s Oikawa. Logic does not pull.”

“I’m only apologizing-” Makki interrupts, huffs, and continues, “I’ll only apologize if you do too.” He glares at you. Mattsun’s looking too, though his eyes are softer.

Finally, you nod and get up, offering your hand for Makki to shake.

“I’m sorry I made fun of you. It’s not your fault that you got fired.”

He huffs again. You know that sound. He sounds like that when he’s trying not to cry. And you suppose you can’t fault him for that. Friends just know where it hurts the most.

But he shakes your hand, his grip a bit firmer than it needs to be.

“I’m sorry that I called you an ugly bitch that has no game.”

Suddenly you can’t help but laugh. It flows freely, from deep within, has you bending over the desk as you cackle. They laugh along, softly first before it breaks out of them too.

“All good?” Makki asks when you eventually calm down.

“All good,” you agree, looking over at Mattsun. He shrugs. “Don’t look at me, I’ve always been good.”

“Sure,” you joke, “But just so you know, I’ll bring Wakatoshi along tonight.”

Makki rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll smoke him at Mario Kart.”

As it turns out, however, Wakatoshi smokes him.

Who knew he had it in him?

.

-.- Warsaw -.-

The front door closes with a soft click, alerting you.

“Shh!” You hiss at the boys before turning toward the door of the living room. 

“Hey honey, welcome home!”

“Hi,” Wakatoshi steps inside, spots the beer and your laptop screen and waves. “Beers and Games?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that important.” You get up to kiss him, ignoring Makki who’s trying to make a point of his importance. “You wanna go out to eat?”

“Can we stay in?” He asks, “There’s this new movie that Satori recommended.”

“Yeah, sure,” you nod. “Go shower. I’ll make some food.”

He smiles and leans in for another kiss, waving at the camera before he leaves for the bathroom.

“So he doesn’t know, huh?” Mattsun asks as you pick up your laptop and carry it to the kitchen.

“No, I want to tell him tonight. Thanks for not spoiling it guys.”

“Anytime,” Kindaichi pipes in. You bet he’s got no clue what you’re talking about. “What are you making?”

“Golabki,” you answer, “Cabbage roles. I’ve been obsessed with these lately.” 

You catch up while you cook, eager to hear more about Kindaichi’s budding relationship or Makki’s latest work adventure. Even Kyoutani contributes a lot today, proudly talking about how Yachi has won a prize for one of her designs.

At some point Wakatoshi appears, leaning into you as you work. He likes to be in the way when you facetime the team, thinks it’s funny that Makki has named him “the Log” or that he’s always blocking the drawer you need to get to the most.

“Move,” you tell him, pulling at his thighs. Behind him’s the cutlery you need to set the table.

“There’s a price for that,” he tells you quietly. You roll your eyes and move to kiss him. He shuffles slightly to the side, now blocking the cabinet that hides the plates.

-

It’s only after dinner, your laptop put away, the dishes done, that you find yourself back on the Couch, cuddled into him.

“Wakatoshi,” you address him, your hands shoved under his shirt. His eyes have closed but he’s still awake, you can tell by his breathing.

“Hmm?”

“Remember how we were talking about what we wanted to do on your next break?”

“Yes?” He opens one eye to squint at you. “Do you still want to go back to Japan?”

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you confess, “But we talked it through. It’s not feasible and I’ve got a better idea.”

That has him opening both his eyes. He can sense that something’s coming and you nestle further into him. 

You like to surprise him, for sure. You love how quiet he gets when you do something special for him, almost unsure if he deserves it. If this is really just for him. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered by your feelings for him once in a while.

“I got us tickets to Paris,” you tell him quietly. “Tendō already knows.”

When he pulls you close he doesn’t have to say anything. You already know.

He misses his best friend just as much as you miss yours.

[pedroscowgirl]

Idk if you saw that interview where Hugh was like "I don't have a safe word I want to keep going" but something where it's actually giggly sex 😭

A/N: i hope you like this cuz idk if it turned out the way you wanted but here you go <3 ill add details later cuz its 4 am rn and im tired

The day had been buzzing with excitement as you prepared for the big interview. Hugh and Ryan, ever the dynamic duo, were scheduled to promote their latest film, and you knew it was going to be a mix of sharp wit and hilarious banter. As you stood behind the camera, you watched the two of them take their places, standing side by side. Hugh wore a mint-green polo shirt, his posture relaxed and his face lit up with a broad smile. Ryan, in contrast, had a more deadpan expression, dressed casually in a dark, patterned shirt.

The interview started off smoothly, with the host asking the usual questions about the movie. But then, as expected, the conversation took a playful turn. Ryan, ever the joker, looked straight into the camera, his expression serious as he quipped, "My safe word is ‘please stop, that hurts.’"

The crew burst into laughter, and you couldn’t help but chuckle from your spot behind the scenes.

Hugh, standing beside him, grinned widely, the mischievous glint in his eyes unmistakable. "I don’t have a safe word," he declared, his voice deep and smooth. "I want to keep going."

The room erupted in laughter again, the chemistry between the two actors on full display. In that moment, Hugh’s eyes flicked over to where you were standing, and he caught your eye. He flashed you a smile—half playful, half something deeper—and it sent a warm shiver down your spine. It was a fleeting moment, but it felt like a private joke shared just between the two of you.

The rest of the interview continued in the same vein, filled with jokes and teasing, but that brief exchange lingered in your mind, making your heart race.

Later that evening, you arrived home, the day’s events still dancing through your mind like a slow, sweet melody. The house was wrapped in a soft, peaceful silence, but as soon as you stepped inside, you noticed Hugh. He was already there, leaning casually against the kitchen counter, a drink cradled in his hand, his gaze lifting to meet yours the moment you entered. His smile—slow, teasing, and so familiar, curved at the corner of his lips, the kind that always made your heart skip a beat.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself today," he said, his voice rich with warmth and playful insinuation, the sound of it wrapping around you like a slow caress.

You couldn't help but grin, your steps carrying you closer to him, the space between you shrinking with each beat of your heart. "You and Ryan," you said, shaking your head slightly, your smile widening, "were having way too much fun. That safe word comment really got to you, didn’t it?"

Hugh chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that vibrated through the air, settling in your chest. He set his drink aside, his arms slipping around your waist in one fluid motion, pulling you against him. The warmth of his body seeped into yours, making you melt into his embrace. "Maybe," he murmured, his lips hovering near your ear, his breath warm and tantalizing against your skin, sending a delicious shiver down your spine. "But it was your laugh that I couldn’t stop thinking about."

Before you had a chance to respond, his mouth was on yours, soft and slow at first, tasting, teasing, exploring. The kiss was sweet, but laced with the same playful energy that had lingered between you all day. His lips pressed harder, more insistent now, as if he wanted to consume every thought, every breath, every inch of you. His hands roamed over your back, pulling you closer still, until there was no space left between your bodies, only heat and the promise of something more.

You laughed softly against his lips, your breath catching as his kiss deepened, his tongue teasing yours, playful yet full of intent. "So," you murmured, your voice breathless as you broke the kiss, just for a moment, "no safe word, huh?"

His grin widened, wicked and full of mischief, as his hands slipped under your shirt, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your waist. He nuzzled into your neck, his lips trailing feather-light kisses along your pulse. "Only if you say, 'please stop, that hurts,'" he teased, his voice low and rough with desire.

A laugh bubbled up from your chest, but it quickly dissolved into a soft moan as Hugh’s kisses turned into playful nips, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that made your entire body hum with anticipation. The banter, the teasing, it all faded into the background as his hands moved over you, exploring, claiming, until all that remained was the heat between you, the shared breath, the undeniable pull of desire.

Hugh's lips continued their tantalizing path, leaving a trail of warmth and tingling sensation wherever they touched. And your laughter melted into moans, soft whispers exchanged between kisses, the playful energy from the day morphing into something deeper, more intimate, as you both surrendered to the moment.

He scooped you up effortlessly, a surprised squeak escaping your lips as he lifted you into his arms. The feeling of his strength, the way his arms cradled you securely against his chest, made your heart race. With every step toward the bedroom, the anticipation grew, a heady mix of excitement and desire swirling in the air between you.

He set you down on the bed with a gentleness that contrasted with the fiery intensity in his eyes. His gaze never left yours as he slowly undressed you, his hands moving with deliberate care, as if savoring the moment of revealing each part of you.

Hugh paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you laid out before him, a look of awe and affection on his face. The room was quiet except for the sound of your mingled breaths, heavy with expectation. He leaned down, his lips finding yours in a kiss that started soft and sweet but quickly deepened, growing hungrier, more demanding. You melted into it, your hands reaching to pull him closer, to feel his warmth against you.

In the soft, warm glow of the room, your bodies were tangled up in the sweetest way, the gentle rise and fall of your breaths matching as you snuggled close. Hugh’s eyes twinkled as they met yours, a mix of love and a playful glint that made your heart skip. His forehead rested against yours, both of you grinning, caught up in the cozy, silly intimacy of the moment.

"I love you sooo much," he whispered with a giggle, his breath warm and soft against your lips. You barely had a chance to respond before he kissed you, quick, teasing kisses that made you both laugh, your smiles breaking between every kiss. His hand slid down your side, fingers tracing your skin like it was the softest thing he’d ever touched. He paused, looking up at you with an exaggerated, playful grin. "Ticklish?" he teased, giving your side a tiny, playful squeeze, and you burst into giggles, squirming beneath him.

As he gently touched you, it wasn’t rushed or intense; it was slow, sweet, and filled with those giggly, breathless moments where you couldn’t help but smile at each other. Every touch was tender, like he was trying to make you laugh as much as he was trying to make you feel good. When his fingers reached your core, you gasped with surprise, but it turned into a light, joyful laugh as your body arched instinctively towards him, the tension mixed with pure delight.

He smiled too, his breathy laughter joining yours. "Oh, you like that?" he teased, his voice soft and playful. You nodded, biting your lip, trying to keep the laughter at bay as his fingers moved with a gentle rhythm that made you feel safe, loved, and totally adored.

The pleasure was real, but so was the lightness between you two. "Oh my gosh," you murmured through another giggle as he hit just the right spot, and Hugh grinned like he was so proud of himself. His thumb circled in a way that had you gasping one moment and laughing the next, the closeness making everything feel warm and perfect, like the two of you were sharing something so beautiful.

"Let go for me," he whispered with a smile, leaning down to kiss your nose, his voice filled with love and mischief all at once. You clung to him as he coaxed you higher and higher, your body trembling, but your heart so full of joy that you couldn’t help but keep smiling.

When the release came, it was like the sweetest kind of relief—your body tensing and then melting into pure, soft bliss. You smiled through it, your hands gripping his arms as the waves of pleasure washed over you, feeling like your whole body was filled with light. "Oh, wow," you gasped between soft, breathless chuckles, and Hugh was right there with you, pressing kisses all over your face like he couldn’t get enough.

"You’re so cute," he murmured, his voice filled with affection as his hands stayed on you, grounding you, keeping the moment tender and safe. You caught your breath, the two of you still tangled up together, all smiles and sweetness.

After a moment, Hugh gave you a playful look, his eyes gleaming with that teasing light. "Round two?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows as he tugged at his waistband, making you excited all over again. You nodded, grinning, feeling giddy with love and anticipation.

He moved slowly, undressing like he was putting on a show just for you, every move exaggerated in the silliest, most endearing way. When he finally joined you again, his body warm and familiar, he hovered above you, his eyes searching yours one more time, but this time with pure playfulness.

With a slow, gentle movement, he entered you, both of you gasping, but then immediately relaxing. His movements were slow, steady, but filled with love, each thrust bringing you closer, but in the sweetest, most joyful way. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, the two of you so connected that it felt like the world melted away.

“Look at me,” he whispered through a grin, his voice full of love. You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze, and the pure adoration there made your heart swell. He smiled down at you, his eyes twinkling like you were the only person in the world, and you felt like you were floating.

The pleasure built, slowly, softly, until it was almost too much—almost. "Are you sure you don't need a safe word" Hugh said trough the moans as he looked down at you. "No hugh, u can fuck me as hard and as many times as you want" you maneged to get out. And then, with one last, sweet thrust, you were falling over the edge together, the release gentle but overwhelming, your bodies trembling with it. Tears were forming at your eyes, as the last waves of pleasure rolled through you. Hugh held you close,smiling again, his face pressed against your neck as you both caught your breath, wrapped up in each other.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered, kissing your forehead, his voice soft and filled with so much love. You smiled, feeling like the luckiest person in the world as you lay there together, the room quiet, your hearts full. And as you snuggled into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours, you knew this was love real, wrapped up in a moment you’d never forget.

"Today was fun," you murmured, resting your head against his chest.

Hugh hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "It was. We should definitely do it again sometime. Maybe with a few new safe words."

You both laughed again, the sound carrying you into a peaceful, contented sleep, still wrapped up in each other’s arms.

[robiniswriting]

donna noble consulting at unit is hilarious to me considering she’s got the doctor living in the tardis in her backyard and he’s actively trying to temporarily retire from the whole “saving humanity from the current existential alien threat” business.

the doctor asking about how her day went and donna just staring him down trying to decide whether or not she should let on that there’s some kind of invasion happening.

the doctor and donna having staring contests where they both know that he wants to go do something about the problem but donna is absolutely not going to let him.

rose comes home after school to find the doctor and donna sitting on the couch opposite each other forcefully drinking tea and engaging in the most intense version of small talk that has ever existed because they both know that if donna relents he will absolutely get involved in whatever unit-fuckery is going down on any given day.

but he’s committed to living life the slow way round (for the most part at least) and donna’s his best friend so she’s gonna help him goddammit, even if it means forcing him to sit on sylvia’s floral-patterned couch while he’s mentally bouncing off the walls with the desire to be useful.

poor rose, shaun, sylvia, and wilf are forced to bear witness to this battle of wills for the next ten to fifteen years before donna’s point — which is that we can manage without you sometimes, you idiot, you’re not the center of the universe and things don’t necessarily always fall apart just because you weren’t directly involved — finally sinks in and the doctor manages to find some semblance of chill.

(donna absolutely never admits to him how many of those crises were averted by other versions of him. she doesn’t want his ego to reinflate. they’ve been doing so well getting it to go down.)

[twst-drabbles]

Malleus 17

Summary: Most of Malleus’s day is spent zoning out while bathing in sunlight. It’s always fun to see his little lizard brain occasionally spark up an idea.

(I used to have pet lizards. Loved the way their eyes convey the absolute emptiness going on in their brain.)

Malleus hasn’t blinked for the past hour. He just sits there, on the window sill, face turned towards the sunlight as he stared into the lush yard outside. From a certain angle, he almost looks forlorn, like a doll abandoned by the side of the road.

If Sebek was here, he’d certainly be fretting around Malleus, trying to snap him out whatever trance he was caught up in. And Silver would whisper his concerns into your ear, hoping you’d give him ideas as to what’s wrong with Malleus despite being his owner for longer. And Lilia, cute bat Lilia, he’d be trying to goad Malleus into playing a flying game with him just to get him moving.

You walked over, leaned against the window sill, and poked Malleus on the forehead. He didn’t so much as twitch, his eyes remain unblinking. You pushed your finger against his head and watched as he practically became a wobble doll. You let go and Malleus still body rocked back and forth until he was stable again.

Malleus was still staring off into the distance.

You snorted. “Not a thought behind those eyes, huh? Empty-headed little critter.”

Bathing in sunlight always does this to him, like the warmth of sun soothed all the chaos in his head into nothingness.

There’s nothing wrong with him, Malleus was just zoning out for the moment. He’ll be back online in a moment. It’s always entertaining to hear the way Silver describes him, like this little pet was some always caught up in some grand and mysterious scheme. A magical genius so smart that his thoughts escape everyone’s comprehension.

That’s not quite it thought. Malleus is Malleus, and he’s more the kind of pet to get stuck on one particular thought or subject for weeks on end. All pets have different phases and routines, and long-living fae pets such as Malleus were no exception. He’s just slower to get to the next phase.

You opened the window. The wind gently blew right past the both of you, guiding the falling leaves and gently caressing your curtains. You took a deep breath in, and sighed it out.

Suddenly, Malleus’s eyes snapped wide open, back stiff and wings jittery. Energetic, excited about something.

“Oh?” You lowered your head. “Did you get an idea?” Are the gears finally turning again in his brain.

You scratched at his soft belly scales and laughed when he practically launched himself out of your hand. He was practically a rocket as he shot out the window, barely more than a blur as he flew in a pattern only he knew.

This month’s obsession seems to be dizzying flight patterns. All because Malleus witnessed Lilia’s flying right after he finished eating some of Crowley’s fermented peaches.

After a round of unsteady figure eights, Malleus finished with a belly flop on the grass, as Lilia did before. He got up, cleaned himself off, and fly once more. He’s nothing if not determined, that’s for sure. Still, it’s hilarious that he spent the entire day zoning out at your house.

Sure, you were a little concerned when he first did it, but you figured it out soon enough. You did as you usually do and let the pets do their own thing.

Maybe that’s why Malleus likes to come over here often. You’ve never been much of a person that fusses. Unless they’re putting themselves in active danger, you’re not going to bother them every single second of their life.

Well, whatever the reason may be, it’s still made clear that your house is a place to zone out in. You know you do that often. And, you will admit, you love the way Malleus's eyes go all empty like that.

[snaileer]

Everyone Loves a 2-for-1 Sale Part 3

Part 1 & 2 (And original Prompt)

The dining room was suspiciously quiet for a Wayne breakfast when Danny walked in.

He glanced up from his phone, pulling one earbud out, “Oh feel free to continue arguing my morality like I’m an object, my music’s on full volume.”

Dick looked uncomfortable, “We weren’t-Look, Ti- Danny, we are just a bit curious as to why you’re…. here,” Dick finished, glancing at the others like asking if they’d share the plate of batguilt-fries with him.

“Surely the world could have done without a second Drake,” Damian cut in before Danny could even start.

“And we could have done without even one of you, yet here you are,” Danny glared, “Factory defects and all.”

Damian jerked upwards with a raised knife, narrowly pushed back down by Dick.

Danny rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his phone-Tim’s phone-their phone. He held a folded paper out to Bruce with two fingers, still typing, “I have a list, if you want it.”

He continued typing as they opening the note and read it, he knew what it said.

To Do in Gotham:

1. Get to Gotham

2. Find original - don’t freak family out

3. -Find- Talk to Bruce

4. Convince Vicki Vale that Tim is/ actually engaged to Tam Fox

5. Get safe house

6. New identity? (what do clones do? - ask Connor)

7.

8.

9. Leave?

“What’s number seven and eight?” Dick asked, and Danny actively made sure his typing pattern didn’t change.

“Don’t know yet,” He answered with a shrug, the picture of nonchalance. Bruce probably didn’t believe him.

Didn’t matter. Dick did. Because Dick felt guilty.

Bat guilty.

About time he believed him about something.

And Danny didn’t care about Damian’s opinions one way or another.

He stepped away from the table, plopping another grape in his mouth as he walked past, “Welp that’s it for me, busy day, fake engagement, gotta find some crutches because I don’t think Vicki will accept my ‘you got new legs Lieutenant Dan-ny’ joke, all that,”

Danny slipped out the door past a sleep-deprived Tim with a jaunty salute, “All’s well in Clone Town!”

Danny kept walking, his brain running miles ahead of him, Ted Tobin steering the wheel with his fingers on the keypad of his phone as he moved forward and mentally filled in the list.

Number 7: Find Ra’s Al Ghul and the Lazarus pits.

Number 8: Stabilize yourself.

Danny continued up the stairs. He had people to see and rings to buy. Busy is the life of a saboteur.

—

Red Robin watched his clone linger in the jeweler’s store, trying to keep the frown from taking over his whole face.

He was making Tim’s life difficult. Tim suspected it was on purpose.

Largely because people would ask way too many questions if two Tim Drakes showed up in Gotham at the same time.

Hence, Red Robin being relegated to rooftop surveillance.

He turned his attention back to the clone, watching as he left the shop and turned down the street. Red Robin swept after him, following from above.

The clone remained focused on his phone- which was also Tim’s by the way, and stolen- as he walked down the street, turning into an alley without even looking up.

Tim tilted his head and swung to the rooftop, peering into the darkness.

“You could always just come down and actually talk to me, you know?”

Tim dropped into the alley, unsurprised to come face to face with the clone. It was weird to see his own face look so annoyed by him.

“Thought it was best to stay out of sight. We’re not exactly a daylight hero.”

Danny rolled his eyes, “Already annoyed with Vicki Vale?”

Tim nearly growled, “That is your fault,”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me it’s not hilarious.”

“You’ve spent all morning in ring shops! I have meetings!”

“Lucius can handle them. It’s not like we actually did anything this last year anyways.”

Tim stared at him for a second, confusion in the squint of his eyes and laced with suspicion.

Danny groaned with a roll of his eyes, “Fine, you want me to stay put somewhere so you can do your civilian thing?”

“Yes.”

“I am not staying in the manor. You can’t make me.”

Dread filled him as Tim smiled, “Not a problem.”

Danny glared at Tim standing arms wide in the center of the room of his emptiest safe house, “This is so not what I meant and you know it.”

Tim’s face betrayed nothing, “Look, none of us are happy with this situation-“

Danny scoffed. Understatement of the century.

“But..” Tim continued with a pointed look, “It’s my fault, and I get that. So…compromise? You stay here, work on cold cases while I sort out my current job, and when I’m done, we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

Danny sighed, feeling Ted Tobin stir to life with plans already forming.

“Fine.”

Tim nodded succinctly, reaching for a laptop and multiple cords, “Ok, here’s my old computer, -huh, I could have sworn that had a different charger- anyways- I’ll take this,” he plucks the phone from Danny’s hands in one smooth motion, giving a mocking smile in return to Danny’s glare, “Thank you very much, now I just have to-and find the guy who…”

Tim’s voice tapers off into mumbles as he heads into the bedroom to peel off his suit, fingers focused on the keypad of his newly reacquired phone.

Danny slumps himself down on the secondhand couch, dust echoing around him. This was fine, he could do stuff in the meanwhile, maybe help Tim with his case -or solve it himself, he bets he could- and then finish the new specs for the suit wings that Danny’s suit still didn’t have.

Tim fumbled through the doorway, now in civilian clothes, already on a call with Lucius probably, or Tam. Tam helped him a lot.

Danny slouched further into the silence.

It felt like being left behind by his parents.

They had bigger priorities.

Archaeology.

Ghosts.

Danny shook his head, opening the computer and letting Ted Tobin fish through the passwords for case files.

He’s nearly 3 hours deep when he really pauses for the first time, finally stopping the continuous notes sitting next him, each a different clue. Most for different cases.

The current case pulled up on his screen scratches at him, facts slotting into place with rapid fire precision.

The officer assigned to the case is a vet.

The case is perpetrated by a senatorial candidate.

The officer assigned served on three active fronts and 2 undisclosed.

The guilty candidate is running support for a bill cutting veteran supports.

Best of all?

It’s not in Gotham.

Danny smiles as Ted Tobin’s plan fills in, piece by piece.

—

Ra’s Al Ghul should really make it harder to hack into his confidential back market mercenary dealings.

Then again, maybe it was for the better. How else would he make sure Red Robin was able to intercept the assassin in time to save that poor officer’s life the night before his case-closing arrest?

—

“Detective, I assumed holding my business outside of Gotham would keep it from being the concern of you and yours,” Ra’s’ voice is muffled through the bag over his head, “It seems I was wrong.”

“Oh well, you know me…,” The bag is ripped roughly off his head, leaving him blinking rapidly against the light even as he smirks, “Always butting into things when I shouldn’t. It’s kind of what we do.”

“Tell me, Timothy,” Ra’s says, turning his back to him once more, as he waves his ninjas away, “What does this officer matter to you, more than a state away from your usual stomping grounds? What-“ Ra’s pauses as a different ninja approaches him to whisper in his ear. His body stills.

“Well, we’ll start there. First of all, as I’m sure you just found out, I’m not Timothy,” Danny says, standing up smoothly. He relishes the look Ra’s gives him as he turns around. “And secondly, the officer wasn’t what mattered. Getting you here on the other hand. Now that.. that takes a little more planning.” Danny brushes himself off, removing the cowl to leave just his own domino behind.

Ra’s al Ghul hums, his eyebrow twitching up even as his eyes narrow in suspicion.

“What? No sudden desire to stab? No impromptu attempt to put a sword through my chest?”

“You are curious. So much like the detective, and yet… my people tell me he is currently patrolling in Gotham with the Grayson boy.”

Danny scoffs, “Oh great, another fruit loop interested in me, like I need a new one of those.”

Ra’s’ stare doesn’t change. Albeit a bit more annoyed, but still flat and calm.

“You wanna know what makes me different from Timothy, Ra’s?” Danny pauses, taking a deep breath and letting the ectoplasm ripple inside him for the first time in months. “The difference between me and him,” When he looks up he knows his eyes glow fluorescent green, “Is that I’m stronger.”

—

Bonus Scene:

Dick stared at Tim’s clone as he left, sweeping past the original’s bleary form stumbling to the coffee machine.

“Are we sure he’s Drake’s clone? He seems… less of a fool,” Damian sneered, watching Tim stand listlessly in front of the cabinet, coffeemaker off, and tablet in hand.

He looked out of the Dining room doors, spotting Danny standing not far away in front of one of the closets by the stairs rather than the actual steps, fingers tapping away.

Damian turned back to his breakfast, “I retract my statement. Clearly his stupidity was simply blinding.”

[shiggybrainr0t]

i was going through @willowser writing tag and reading all their stuff, as one does, and found their response to how bakugo would react whenever you tell him about a creepy guy and it got me thinking….yall know that tiktok trend about the fake Dimitri voicemail 💀 this turned out to be 90% domestic katsuki and only 10% him responding to a creepy guy so I’m sorry 😞

divider made by @cafekitsune 🖤

warnings: one fake creepy guy, comment about abuse and anxiety (not from bakugo)

Whenever you walk inside your shared apartment, you make sure to school your face into one of neutrality. You feel like you should know better than to do something like this, but Denki got this little prank into your mind and said he would give you 3,000 yen if you actually did it and well- who are you to turn that down.

Katsuki is sprawled shirtless on your couch, sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips as he snoozes with his arms behind his head. He makes the couch look hilariously tiny, with the way one leg is hanging off the edge and the other is bent just so his torso will fit. You can tell he has just taken a shower by the way his hair is a couple shades darker than normal and sticking about in odd ways. Seeing him there makes you forget about what you were set on doing, and you gaze at his golden form for a minute until you shifting has the floor creaking and one of his eyes opening lazily.

You know that he knew you were here the moment your keys jingled outside the door, but it was you not coming over and immediately plopping on top of him like usual that prompts him to make a grabby hand in your direction, a soft scowl on his face as you continue to stand there.

“Why’re you just standing there?”

His rumbling, sleepy voice breaks you out of your stupor and you continue on your journey towards your boyfriend. Unceremoniously, you drape yourself over his form, making him grunt at the impact even though he was expecting it. It’s muscle memory the way your legs tangle with his, and the way one strong arm wraps around you to grip at the squishy part of your side, all insecurities long lost in the safety of his arms.

His scent surrounds you, the smell of caramelized sugar and his body wash filling your senses, making you wiggle up to place your nose into the crook of his neck. You sniff loudly, giggling when he palms your face to push you away.

“Fuckin’ weirdo.”

After settling, you both bask in each other’s presence for a little while. You’re content to end the evening like this, until Denki’s stupid face flashes through your mind. Nonchalantly, you start to trace little patterns on Katsuki’s smooth chest, saying his name softly. At his responding hum, you start telling your tale.

“You know we have a new neighbor downstairs….” He doesn’t reply, only adjusting his grip on you slightly and raising one blonde eyebrow whenever you look up at him.

“Well, his name is Dimitri and he isn’t from here. He seemed a little lost, and he doesn’t really know anybody yet, so I gave him my number in case he needed help.”

“…..I don’t like where this is going.” Katsuki looks down at you, giving himself a double chin because of the angle. Annoyingly, he’s still gorgeous.

Put on, you sigh and trace “I love you” lightly into his skin. You know he got it, because he buries his nose into your hair and kisses your forehead in response.

“He started calling me a lot, even after I told him I had a boyfriend who could snap him in half-“

“Fuck yeah I could.”

“-and he left me this voicemail that was weird.”

You trail off, and at his raised eyebrows and slight shake of his head saying “well?” grab your phone and pull up the video Denki sent you, making sure the screen isn’t visible and press play.

The grainy sound of a voicemail fills the space, “Dimitri’s” voice starting up quickly.

“It’s Dimitri again. I left you a message a couple days ago. Now here’s the way I work: I don’t like leaving second messages.”

Your boyfriend’s jaw drops slightly at the sudden change of tone in Dimitri’s voice.

As “Dimitri” begins to tell you all his attributes, Katsuki’s face begins to screw up. The list of why “Dimitri” is an amazing guy and why he should be your boyfriend is a long one, and you can see Katsuki becoming more and more irritated as the voicemail continues.

“I’m giving you until 3 o’clock to return my call. I can understand if you’ve got some other issues…like maybe you were abused or you have an anxiety disorder and you’re on medicine for that-“

A warm and calloused hand engulfs yours to turn your phone off. Katsuki gently shoves you off of him, standing up and stretching lightly before turning to you.

“What apartment is he in again?” Your shocked face makes him turn around, quickly putting on some slippers and forgoing a shirt to step out of your apartment and into the hallway.

“I’ll find it.”

He’s already down the hall, bare back tense and cocking his head to the side as he jabs at the elevator buttons whenever you make it off the couch and out the door.

An apartment down, your neighbor perks up when she hears your voice, and goes to peek out her door. Where you are, your hunk of a boyfriend isn’t far behind.

“Kat-Katsuki it was a prank!”

[priniya]

🌊 ASSUMPTIONS

SYNOPSIS. jj maybank gets a little too involved with a kook for his friends’ liking, but he wouldn’t be jj maybank if he gave a shit. on contrary, you do and it bothers him.

NOTES. jj maybank x kook!reader. a little short + not proofread

you definitely underestimated how much things people assume on a daily basis. it had never bothered you before you got with a certain blond pogue — maybe, because beside your small friendship with sarah cameron (and an occasional hook up with her older brother), no one really cared. then you started hanging out with jj maybank and nothing was truly the same.

some people shamelessly assumed that your sweet relationship was strictly of convenience. maybank was with you for the money, giving you weed and fulfill your sexual needs whenever you wanted. some would say that you knew how rafe… wasn’t exactly a fan of pogues, so you hung out with jj to get back at the oldest cameron sibling.

on the other hand, hardly anyone reckoned that due to all that time you were caught spending together made you genuinely like him. no, you always had to have some kind of cruel reasoning for skipping school to smoke weed in the back of twinkie (and make out).

did it bother you? unfortunately, a little bit too much. your boyfriend just got into your room by the halfway open balcony door while you were scribbling down math homework on your ipad. your coursework was one of the small amount of activities that let you rest your brain and get busy with something so insignificant to your relationship.

jj knew you were subconsciously upset. he didn’t really have to ask — the uneasiness painted all over your gorgeous face. his long, distressed sigh got you out of trance. your eyebrows scrunched at the sight in front of you. how did he get there?

“tell me what’s in that pretty head of yours.” he muttered, face inches away from yours after having kissed you — too shortly for your liking.

“my brain.” you let out, hands going to the collar of his t-shirt, unsuccessfully trying to pull him into another of those sweet, mindblowing kisses. “jay.” a groan slipped from your lips as he refused once again and you felt like going insane, one night he says he can’t stop himself from kissing you and now he does? liar.

“let me rephrase the question, you brat.” his eyes rolled. “what’s bothering you so much that you can’t tell me?” his fingers brushed through your hair as you sat yourself in his lap.

“kiss me and i’ll tell you.”

“tell me and i’ll kiss you.” another groan left your mouth, earning a quiet chuckle from him. he was worried, but sending you over the edge was funny, hilarious even.

ten minutes. that’s how long the two of you sat in silence until you were ready to reveal the reason of your upset, thoughts organised and your forehead against his shoulder, while his fingers were tracing different patterns on your back, sending a shiver down your spine once in a while.

“i just— shit, it’s so stupid.” you mumbled, your voice muffled against his shoulder. “i hate that people think you want something particular from me or the other way around.” it’s there and jj couldn’t help but chuckle at your explanation.

not because he thought little of your worried, but because it was almost unlike you to be so bothered by people so insignificant in your life. “doll.” the blond cracked a smile, gently nibbling at your earlobe. “me and you, ride or die, eh?” jj’s smile only got wider, when you nodded. “let them assume whatever they want, why stop ‘em? you know your feelings and i know mine. this is the thing that matters. not gonna lie, though, if you were with me just for my weed or my dick, that would probably give me a god–complex. imagine that the hottest girl in the entire outer banks is with you, because you fuck her so well? jesus, i might get a hard–on right now.”

“you really can’t simply tell me that you love me, can you?” you asked with a smile lingering on your lips long before he finally pressed his mouth against yours.

“you know i do, doll. where’s the fun in that?”

[gayandfairycore]

The albatross

Summary: when Wednesday pulls you from your slumber to investigate the gates mansion feelings emerge and injuries happen

A/n: I’ve spent so long finishing this fic i think I’m relatively happy with it! Enjoy.

Warnings: Tyler, jealousy, choking, stabbing wounds, hospitals, required unrequited love, dubious ending you decide if we live or die (probably more I’ve forgot)

༺𓆩❦𓆪༻

A violent shaking is what breaks you from your sleep, you’re currently swallowed by three separate blankets with various patterns that keep you tucked nicely into your twin sized mattress on your side of the dorm.

Wednesdays pale face looks down at you, a dead pan expression on her face. And thing sits on your pillow by your face whilst Enid is crouched on your other side watching eagerly, the blonde is the one violently shaking you.

“Y/n, get up it’s girls night!” It’s obvious now that Enid is excited shaking you over the fact that Wednesday pealed not only yourself. but Enid as well for a “girls night”

“Enid stop shaking me!” you bellow, Your body aches in protest against waking up even if it is to hangout with your favourite girls, between school, falling in love with Wednesday and monster hunting, you’ve been more tired than usual.

“Sorry” Enid rubs the back of her neck bashfully and it’s only then do you realise that both Wednesday and Enid are wearing their matching snoods and you close your eyes again fully prepared for the werewolf girl to throw your matching snood over your head and pull you along and out of the spiderweb window to the balcony. It was definitely past curfew.

And it doesn’t come as a surprise when Enid does pull out your bright purple snood and pulls it over your head “come on y/n!” Enid squeals her feet tapping against the wood flooring excited to celebrate Wednesdays birthday,

And the aforementioned girl Who has been quietly watching the scene by your bedside the gloomy girl with an out of place hand knitted snood and an hilarious grumpy look on her face but her brown eyes sworm with schemes and you’re fully aware this will not be a normal “girls night.” When was anything normal with Wednesday.

-

You’re proven right when you’re forced out your room in the dead of night to “take Enid to the lupin cages” so the adults think but really Wednesdays leading you out the nevermore gates to a beat up car that you unfortunately know to be Tyler’s.

He seems alright for a normie but the jealousy that stabs your heart whenever you see him and Wednesday together only serves to be a painful reminder that no matter if the boy gives you a free coffees you still can’t bare to be in his presence.

What’s worse? Is you can tell the boys got a raging crush on Wednesday.

But You’d follow Wednesday to the ends of the earth even if that meant coming face to face with the monster that just so happens to be terrorising Jericho.

Opening the door and sitting in the back seat Wednesday having long been sat in the passenger seat Enid takes her place by your side In your matching snoods. The excited look dusting her face drops at the inclusion of Tyler.

“He’s our Uber driver?” Enid sighs her eyes flickering to Wednesday

“Uber driver? I thought we were going on a date”Tyler says pointedly looking between the two of you in the back to Wednesday sitting nonchalant in the passenger seat

You feel a stab of hurt pass through you the girl was supposed to go on a date with him? but you remind yourself she blew him off for you and Enid.

It’s silly, you don’t have some claim over Wednesday she’s a free woman, and besides she’d definitely never allow anyone to have any claim over her in the first place.

And by the way she behaves with her parents she doesn’t seem to be all that into romance, unlike you and Enid who spend every Tuesday binging new romance movies.

In your thoughts you barely notice Enid frown beside you “I thought this was girls night out” the girl sulks looking at you for backup and you can’t stop the yawn that forces itself from your throat but you place your hand on Enid’s hand to reassure the girl, before you turn your attention to Wednesday for some answers, Enid and Tyler follow suit.

Wednesday gives you nothing more than “there’s been a change of plans” not even sparing a glance at you all, sighing you rest your back against the seat as Tyler asks the girl in the dim yellow light of the car

“What’s up with the matching hoodie scarf thing?”and before you can answer the boy Wednesday in the front seat murmurs

“Don’t ask just drive”

And just like that you, Enid, and Tyler have been yet again roped into Wednesdays plans but part of you doesn’t mind it. it means you’re close enough with the girl for her to want your company.

But Between the stuffy snood, and your romantic competition. It’s very difficult to be stuck in the same car as the guy who Wednesday kind of likes tolerates.

You clip your seatbelt in and sulk beside Enid in the back seat

So you watch as Enid sighs and clips in her seatbelt and Tyler rolls his eyes in the drivers seat a hint of annoyance but mostly fondness clouds his vision as he starts the car

“So where too?”

And with that Tyler takes the three of you to an abandoned house in the woods with a creepy gate and you can’t stop the thought that passes your mind that this is so Wednesday.

You may have been upset at the disturbance to your sleep schedule but you were doing it for Wednesday so it was less bad as long as her dark eyes watched you, you couldn’t care less about sleep, or trespassing.

The only thing important to you was making sure Wednesday didn’t get herself killed. (although she’d probably like that) you couldn’t stand to see her die.

“Okay this isn’t what I signed up for.” Tyler’s hands shake beside Enid and the smaller girl looks terrified by his side as she exclaims a tentative “ditto”

a thought passes over you Tyler would be a nice friend to have if he wasn’t in love with Wednesday. Even if he’s chickening out on exploring a house.

“I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday by a surprise party or dinner, I want to do this.” Wednesday explains like it’s obvious as her fingers make fast work at picking the locked gate.

“You should’ve just said so, you didn’t have to trick us” Tyler’s voice of softer now, kinder. and you know he’s like you. Bewitched by the girl and your hands twitch by your side screaming at him to just leave you alone with Wednesday. Just go! Your shadows reach out closer to Tyler in anger before blending back into the ground.

pushing against the metal gate of the gates mansion, your boots crunch against the ground and you’d shine your flashlight Wednesday brought for you and you’d walk shakily forward. Shadows curling around your feet for comfort

The darkness and abandoned house unnerving you, it was ironic to be able to control shadows and the dark still scared you. but you took a deep breath & sucked it up anyway you vaguely heard Tyler behind you ask Enid

“Does she do that often? You know… the shadow thing?” Tyler asked his voice lowering you could practically feel him point at you from behind and despite Enid’s growing fear the girl laughed

“Yes.”

༺𓆩❦𓆪༻

Minutes passed and now the four of you had gotten closer to the house with Enid and Tyler behind yourself and Wednesday “seriously you want to go in there?” Enid looks frantically between the three of you and you shrug your shoulders, Wednesdays made you do worse before.

But you sigh outwardly “if you still want to leave you can.” Your eyes look pointedly at Enid you know she’s softer than you, not that it’s a bad thing but she doesn’t usually like to explore abandoned houses.

“I’m gonna go check out the garage” Wednesday looks thourouhly pleased with herself as she hurry’s down the path quicker

You shake your flashlight and follow beside the girl the chilly night air slaps you in the face as you walk and you’re oddly thankful for your matching snood.

Your heart constricts as you walk past the entrance but you shake the nerves off when Wednesday comes to a boarded up door she can’t pull open, and you slide by the girl “let me try”

You say softly moving her cold fingers from the handle and her fingers twitch to your touch you breath a little shakier at the thought of holding her hand, Wednesday doesn’t look absolutely disgusted by the touch before she realises she’s still holding your hand and she tugs her hand away violently like you burned her.

coughing to cover your embarrassment your hands wrap around the handle and you pull with all your might. it doesn’t budge. Tyler comes up behind you a bashful expression on his face as he passes you his hands replace yours as his fingers wrap around the door and pull and you know it’s useless by the way he sulks away

Enid rolls her eyes before she tries the door and Lo and behold it opens with ease “warewolf strength” she smiles shrugging her shoulders

Tyler shares a look with Wednesday but the girl strides forward shining her torch into the abandoned garage Wednesday flicks the light switch and an old orange light flickers to life

“This is the car that hit the mayor” Wednesday mutters in the corner of your eye you see Enid’s face screw up into one of fear Tyler looks as nervous as you feel

“Well that’s grim” you observe the car through its windows there’s nothing incriminating in it, but regardless you control your shadows to slip inside the car, but still they come up with nothing.

“We need to call Tyler’s dad right now!” Enid cries her eyes welling with tears her pink snood around her head makes her look a bit silly and you fight the urge to pull her into a hug and tell her to go back to the car

“Why so he can take me back to nevermore and get me expelled? It’s not gonna happen.” Wednesday is firm with her words and despite the fearful looks on Tyler and Enid’s faces you can’t bring yourself to back out so you grip your torch tighter and stride forward.

The old house is devoid of any love the surfaces covered in a large layer of dust, the air feels stagnant, and the floor boards creak with every step you take. You find yourself following Wednesday closely behind.

Wednesday shines her torch down every hallway and when finally we get to a large set of stairs Wednesday is dead serious when she says “I think we should split up”

Fear glistens over Enid’s face and Tyler watches the room nervously as you swallow hard splitting up in never a good idea “how about we have another person with us so we aren’t all alone?” You attempt a reassuring smile at Enid before watching Wednesday roll her eyes

“If we must” impatience snapped from the girls tone and just as you cleared two stairs to partner with the girl, a smile growing on your face at the idea of being alone with Wednesday.

“I’ll go with Wednesday!” Enid exclaimed rocking back and forth on her feet and you’d swore you’d kill the girl sending her a sharp glare over your shoulder that said really, Enid? Way to read the room.

Before scoffing rolling your eyes and gripping your flashlight tightly you walked back down the steps in anger

“We should Meet back here if we find anything”Wednesday nodded turning to disappear out of your sight

Anger rolled off your body in waves your shadows darkening the room momentarily as you commanded Tyler to follow the warm glow of your flash light, as it illuminates the various empty rooms, first you were upset at the fact you weren’t with Wednesday and you were even more furious when you were left with Tyler.

In your anger you walked the halls stuck in your head not paying attention to your surroundings until a menacing growl sounded from behind you, you felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up and the air felt like static around you.

Pointing your flashlight in the direction of the growl slowly your faced with a hedious monster its eyes big and bug like bulging from its head, and it’s massive body stalking towards you. It made the first strike of fear ripple through you, had you been so upset with being stuck with Tyler you didnt hear him get attacked?

“Tyler!” You cried eyes still locked onto the monster when you heard no response your cold hands wrapped tightly around your flashlight and you took off running in the opposite direction.

The sound of growls and thundering footsteps only meters from you made your heart constrict and your lungs burn with effort ducking your head to dodge claws you sped through room after room corner after corner your legs burning from effort that would still not be enough

“Wednesday!” You shouted as loud as you could hoping that your voice terror filled and trembling would reach your friends upstairs and motivate them to save themselves.

Your feet still slammed against the floor of the house as you ran the sound of breaking glass and falling bookshelves sounded behind you from the Hyde.

Your shadows gripping the Hyde’s legs and holding its legs down to prevent it from catching up but they did nothing more than momentarily annoy it. The Hyde’s growl of anger echoes the house

I will not die today.

You repeat like a mantra over and over turning sharply into a bedroom, the room you had just stumbled into had no exits aside from the door you just came through that happened to be blocked by the Hyde’s body

Shit shit SHIT!

Backing up as far as possible to the back of the room there was so escaping this, this would be where you die.

Tears began to burn your waterline sliding down your cheeks you had no idea why the Hyde was watching you like you were foreign or why it was taking so long to just kill you when your legs hit a desk and your hands slipped to the top of it scrambling to find something to arm yourself with, whilst still keeping your eye on the Hyde. you found a small, sharp. letter opener. slipping it up your sleeve a new found determination filled you.

“Come and get me.” You sneered your eyes narrowing and shadows darkening the room menacingly. You were no longer stuck in the room with the Hyde. It was stuck in a room with you.

And as if on que the beast stormed forward its huge clawed hand had gripped your body in a tight hold and squeezed like you were nothing.

Screams of pain filled the room the Hyde’s grip was enough to put painful pressure on your bones enough to stifle your breathing gritting your teeth you willed the letter opener to fall from your sleeve your shadows trailing up the Hyde’s legs pulling its huge body downward again before more shadows climbed its body wrapped around its neck and squeezing like the Hyde was doing to you.

Your shadows embedded themselves like sharp claws wherever possible, before stretching to blind the hide and

When its grip slightly faulted you stabbed its clawed hand satisfied by the blood that dripped from its hand as it dropped you rearing back to scream in your face before its razor sharp claws cut through the flesh of your arm and chest.

Slumping to the floor your shadow dissipated as quickly as they came and a mixture of exhaustion from using your power and pain was all that filled your world and before everything went back you could only mutter one word.

“Wednesday.”

༺𓆩❦𓆪༻

There was no telling how long you’d been out for but by the amount blood sticking to your skin it must have been awhile. the overwhelming searing pain of the Hyde’s claws that left these deep jagged lines made you feel sick to your stomach.

The marks ranged from your chest to your shoulder and bicep deep enough to hurt and the leave you covered in metallic blood. But you’d live.

Shuddering your hands gripped the wall to haul yourself up your shoulder screaming in protest holding pressure to your wounds your breaths shaky as you walked through the empty house trying to mask yourself in your shadows but your control left much to be desired especially by the way your body left a trail of blood after you, you were more than happy to reach the garage door.

Shallow breaths filled the air as you walked into the comforting darkness of night god you were happy to be out of that house. Resting your head against a stone pillar out the front you looked at your wound in the silver moon light.

And you felt sick your skin sticky and covered in drying blood it might have been about ten minutes later of you just sitting in pain staring up at the moonlight that Tyler piled out of the garage door and wound on his chest less substantial than yours, but still painful.

You couldn’t help the pathetic sob that left you at the sight of seeing Tyler alive, the guilt of not noticing when he went missing made you feel incredibly bad but you felt so much better seeing the normie alive.

“Oh Tyler!” You cried limping forward to pull the boy into a half hug avoiding your wounds and his wound.

“Hey” the boy greeted shakily holding you tightly you may not have liked him but you were glad he was alive.

“Where’s Wednesday?” You asked as you pulled back looking for any reassurance from the boy

“I don’t know I let them know the monster was in the house but then it got me before I could run after them” the boy fidgeted with his fingers in his lap

“That’s okay I’m sure they’re fine, Wednesdays capable.” You nodded before sinking back down to your pillar you watched the sky the burning in your arm at any movement made you wince, atleast you’re stupid snood survived.

“Here let me” Tyler smiled shedding his shirt to use as a way to stop the bleeding his tan shirt pressed against your wound with a hiss the blood staining the colour darker you felt lightheaded like any moment you’d pass out

“Hey hey hey stay awake” Tyler clicked his fingers in your face putting more pressure on your wound

“What’s going on?” Wednesdays monotone voice said her posture perfectly straight as she watched Tyler get too close for comfort to you

“Y/n!” She sounded concerned by the way she watched your face

“I’m fine, nes just a scratch” you rasped attempting to send a reassuring smile to the girl but before you could suddenly Wednesday was taking you in her arms and commanding Tyler and Enid to hurry up

“We can- we can go to my house patch her up” Tyler said his car keys in his hands and very quickly or what you assumed was very quickly you were back at the car watching the moon from the window your head resting on Wednesdays lap in the back seat

“If you die, I’ll kill you.” Wednesdays voice shook as she held Tyler’s shirt to your wound tears in her eyes and half dazed your blood stained hands ghosted over Wednesdays face wiping a tear away

“I love you” your voice shook and your head swam Delirious from the aching pain of your wound that would surely scar your body. And before you could fight it yours eyes flickered shut your eyes staring into Wednesdays brown eyes with so much love, and so much sorrow she may struggle to feel feelings but by the panic in her eyes there was something deeper than just friendship.

“No no no keep your eyes open” Wednesday panicked barely contained fear dripped from her voice

“Tyler drive faster! Take us to the hospital!” To hell with the potential expulsion Wednesday would face she couldn’t care less. All she wanted to do was save you.

༺𓆩❦𓆪༻

[teyvats-worst-hero]

Poker Posting:

Poker isn’t luck-based actually

Not enough posts about Aventurine’s sunglasses not only being a way to conceal his heritage, but being emblematic of him as a gambler.

Lots of poker players wear sunglasses to conceal their expressions, build a persona, watch other players discreetly, etc etc.

Also not enough posts about how many common card games associated with gamblers aren’t really luck based, they’re based on probability and cold reading. That’s not luck, that’s social psychology and mathematics. Just like calculating expected value to determine if a risk is worth it. Poker, Blackjack… Seriously. There’s a reason why a STEM professor would be impressed by him.

The games that Aventurine defines himself by, he claims as luck. They’re not. They’re absolutely not. I’d posit that there’s even a way to rig every one of those games in his favor, if not literally than figuratively/thematically.

The first way is a funny thing that I thought of in conjunction with my first comment.

I’ve seen some talk before, no comment on whether it actually works, of certain sunglasses that are designed to see UV markings on cards. AKA cheating by knowing which card is which.

While that would be hilarious, it doesn’t really fit his vaguely suicidal character always wondering if this is the last time.

The other way is absolutely in line with his story.

Aventurine, over the course of his life, has learned to count cards.

Why does no one ever bring this up????? It’s SO on brand.

Counting cards is a skill of knowing probability, and mentally calculating what cards everyone could feasibly have based on your hand and whatever community cards are there. Some games ban it, some don’t, some casinos might get upset, some won’t. But if you know how to do it, you have an incredible edge over your opponents by just eliminating some possibilities every round.

Aventurine doesn’t really believe he got to where he is on his own merit. He believes it’s a luck game that he inexplicably keeps winning, and he’s always wondering whether it’ll be the last time. But the reality of it is that he’s trained himself to see the patterns behind everything, he knows what the probability is of his opponent having a flush.

But it’s a luck game.

So it must be luck.

Now, obviously, that does have some bearing on the outcome. What cards are drawn is up to date. But the second part of poker (I don’t play Blackjack don’t @ me) is bluffing, raising, acting. That’s another skill. Also not luck. So what luck doesn’t give him, he carves out for himself.

He knew he could outlive the birds. He knew the IPC would have an interest in him. When the cards were all wrong, he bluffed his way to the very top.

(So yeah, that’s my take on Aventurine apparently. This just started as a brain dump about how no one talks about the practical uses of sunglasses on a gambler-)

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine Shanks finding out you're a painter

You: *humming along to some music as you apply a fresh coat of paint to the wall of the galley*

Benn and Lucky Roux: *walk in*

Benn: Hey Kid.

You: Hey

Lucky Roux: Did you make sure to use the mold resistant paint?

You: Yes Roux.

Benn: And you applied the sealant before the paint?

You: *nods your head* And the primer, I got this man, thanks for checking in on me.

Benn: Alright then, I'm just gonna open this here winder to get some fresh air in here, so you don't get high off the paint fumes.

You: aww, but that's the best part.

Lucky Roux: *snorts* Let me know when you're done, so I can start dinner. Also, when you are done, you might want to put up a barrier, so none of the others accidentally lean on it.

You: I enjoy seeing them covered in paint. So I think they're gonna be in for a surprise, or at least the boss will be. Because I bet you a thousand berry that he's definitely gonna lean in the paint.

Lucky Roux: I'll take that bet.

Benn: I ain't, because he'll definitely gonna do it.

The next morning

Shanks: *Still annoyed that he got paint in his hair the night before* is this shit finally dry?

Benn: yeah, the kid didn't paint in straight lines though.

Shanks: what! But they're usually so meticulous about doing tasks perfectly.

Benn: it was on purpose too, take a close look.

Shanks: *leans in and glides his fingers across a floral design in the brush strokes* do you think they like painting?

Benn: I believe so, that, or they inhaled too much paint fumes and decided to have fun with it.

Shanks: both are possible... Didn't they repaint the hallway, and bathrooms?

Benn: yeah? They painted patterns there too.

Weeks later

Shanks: Hey (y/n) I got you something! *Presents you with a colorful variety of house paints, and a bunch of supplies*

You: ... Wow, that's a lot of paint, are you wanting me to repaint every room on the ship?

Shanks: no silly, for you to have fun with. We noticed the patterns you painted in the galley and thought you might like more colors.

You: but where would I paint?

Shanks: where ever you'd like.

You: *Kisses him on the cheek, scoops up the supplies, and runs to your room*, Thank you!

Two days later in the galley

You: I finished my room is it okay if I paint this wall now?

Shanks: Go for it.

Benn: *watches you run off* they painted their whole room you know.

Shanks: I saw, I was impressed they managed to paint such steady line work with the ship moving so much.

Benn: I think the little maze design the pained on their door frame was my favorite. Do you think they take requests?

Shanks: I dunno.

You: *pushes the box of supplies onto one of the tables*

Benn: is it okay if I asked you to paint something?

You: sure!

Yassop: Wait, you take requests! I want the pillar in my room painted.

The crew: *crowd around you listing off the things they want painted*

Shanks: Guys, let em breathe for fuck's sake! Make a list so they can start painting.

Lucky Roux: I ain't writing down my request because it's simple, don't paint any more realistic bug on the damn walls. I nearly shit myself when I saw the cockroach you painted in the bathroom, that was not a fun surprise at three in the morning.

You: only termite holes, got it.

Lucky Roux: (y/n) no! No termite holes.

You: fine fine, although the fact that the paint on that cockroach didn't even get to dry before one of y'all smacked it, is hilarious.

Shanks: no more realistic bugs, dear, in fact avoid painting realistic critters all together please.

You: ugh fine.

Shanks: I have a project I'd like you to paint, but I'll need to get you a canvas for it. *Winks at you and wiggles his eyebrows*

Benn: Gross.... if he's getting a nude I want one too.

Shanks: You want my nudes too?

Benn: I want a nude of myself, ding-dong.

List of Up-and-coming works

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