#i just need to get out of panic mode
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Feeling a little better today 🥺
#i might have a possible interview at a place ive always wanted to work at#and im not feeling as trapped today thankfully#i just need to get out of panic mode#and breathe#and remember if im out of work for a couple of days thats okay i can manage it ish#might treat myself to a nice meal deal ngl ive not been eating great the oast few days and suddenly now my appetite is here like DING DING
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#i think i mentioned it once but a couple symptoms from the previous illness have been coming back? they feel very unnatural#and the doc told me to get another mri done which will be on friday#and remembering the therapy and everything i am scared shitless#no doctor ever fails to tell me how deadly the illness was and still it’s taking so long to decipher what’s going on rn#im just so fkn stared it might be the same thing again i could cry lol#scared*#all the time i keep fearing i might not be home but in treatment next week and god..#i can’t do this again#might delete this post again i just needed to let this out for a sec#and yeah#i will post the ask i promise but im in a bit of a panic mode rn pls forgive me
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Right so what if Danny became a psychologist instead of Jazz?
His friends and family died protecting him. So when he runs away and starts a new life, he adopts traits from all of them (both as a way of grieving and a way to honor them). For Tucker and Sam, Danny splits his free time between being a white hat hacker and a vocal environmental activist. For his parents, he adopts more of their eccentric personality. When he's not in a professional setting, he is loud and in your face about the latest thing he's been working on (he's also just about the most loyal person you can meet).
And for Jazz, his precious big sister, Danny decides to excel in the career path she never got the chance to enter. He resolves to fulfill her goal of helping out those society has deemed irredeemable. The ones nobody else can or wants to help. The first one he starts with, is the Joker.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#winter's tales#twisting yourself into a hodge podge of your loved ones personalities and aspirations isn't healthy#in caee i needed to point that out#but danny was in a bad mental state for a while and needed to start a new life anyway so....#he's more well adjusted now but still#i'ma be honest i just kinda wanted danny channeling his inner jazz#as he systematically breaks down the joker's arguments and persona#without ever breaking eye contact#this is the result of that one scene running away from me#just like these tags#but oh well we press on#because i also want to explain#how effing hilarious it is to think about the batfam getting word about a new employee at arkham#which already has them in panic mode#and then they find out he's working with joker!?#double panic#then they talk with him and he sounds like he has a whole box of screws loose with the way he rambles on#alright everybody prepare for a new rogue to hit the streets soon!#until they get their hands on the first session danny had with joker#and he's clearly not the same guy they talked to weeks ago#his personality is just way too different#what the hell is going on?
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thinking about taking a little bit of a step back from social media for a bit for mental/physical health reasons (as in: chronic severe anxiety is causing chronic health issues and I need to remove stress Somehow). I will still post art but I’m probably gonna make an effort to engage with my dash only minimally, if at all. (that being said I have very poor discipline so if you see me suddenly reblogging stuff out of nowhere just. roll with it)
#thinking about how social media doesn’t really give you the chance to choose when you’re ready to engage with the news#like I think the most healthy thing is to decide when you’re in an okay place to sit down and deal with the news#but social media is just. constant whiplash bombardment. advertisement cat video people are dying guilt trip fashion tiktok moral dilemma#anyways. dealing with some chronic pain/gi/minor dysautonomia stuff#and it is looking like the cause is a mix of hypermobile joint issues#and the side effects of being chronically stressed out and anxious for. literally my entire life#as in night terrors as a kid insomnia since infancy panic attacks starting in middle school type chronic anxiety#turns out the body being switched into fight or flight mode Constantly does in fact. fuck things up a little bit#there’s only just starting to be research into this but from how my doc explained it my nervous system is a little bit. busted#ANYWAYS. not to overshare. point is chronic health issues caused by chronic stress equals I need to get off social media#and as a disclaimer I have been to therapy (a lot) and I am on anxiety meds but my body physically does not know how to chill out#so removing stressors it is
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Sorry I'm weak for parenting/family content and have to subject Klieg and Rouxls to it :') Don't yell at me
HOLD THINE CHILD
#My Art#Kliegkaard#Rouxls#Klieg#Lava#sorry I'll try to keep this parenting stuff as contained as my fixation allows it :'D#They are very funny as parents#I'm pretty sure Klieg sat by Rouxls during the whole process but the moment the babi was out he just went PANIC MODE#Hold your tiny tardigrade daughter#Okay that's as much as I'm comfortable posting today#I've been way too anxious about all this stuff but I needed some time to get my brain in check#idk when I'll post this stuff to Twitter as well#crossposting is draining
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#i woke up to a blackout today which is inconvenient enough#but i also share the house with people who rely on medical equipment that has no backup generators#so needless to say my morning was a bit taxing#okay google how do i shave without a manual razor in sight while also making sure ppl aren't choking in their sleep#but i managed yk. stressful. but doable.#i was also running late (obvs) which is important to mention bc#the other guy in my house. 65 years old. absolutely started to lose his shit about said blackout.#because 'it's the russians. this is an attack. they're attacking us like they did with spain!!'#bro went into full blown conspiracy theory mode#and somehow i managed to calm him down right? good i can leave for work now. right?#nope. bunch of emergency services started shooting down our street which#makes sense to me. total blackout. people are gonna need help here and there#but no that fuelled him back on. went into a whole panic over this being the beginning of the war or whatever#even after i looked up the outage on a map and it really just hit our rural ass location and nothing else.#it had to be ~ the russians ~#no argument convinced him otherwise#anyway that's the story of why i'm stressed out tf tonight and i really wish i could get a break soon#but finals are around the corner so the next two weeks are gonna be HELL#thinking of taking some pto after that. i'm this close to snapping lol#fucking conspiracy theories i swear
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You got something like an hour and a half???
youtube
WELL WATCH THIS THEN
#BUT DON'T SPOIL ME BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT MYSELF YET#I'M WATCHING TODAY TO DISTRACT ME FROM ALL THE STRESS AND DECISION MAKING IN MY LIFE#BUT MY GOD DOES HE LOOK SEXY AND I KNOW I'LL BE MELTING THE WHOLE TIME#LORD WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM AND I NEED TO GET MY HANDS ON HIM 😩😩#Kasper Schmeichel#king thicccness#big daddy 😩😩😩#girl the way i've been stressed out lately.. i'm in full panic mode..#i'd trade a kidney to get a hug from this man i just KNOW he'd fix me so fast..#even just *grazing* against him would probably cure me of all my issues...#the comfort he radiates.. LORD HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SAVE THIS MAN FOR ME BUT MADE ME A PILE OF NERVES??#UNFAIR LORD UNFAIR
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i hate when my friends use periods in text
#especially when i know they only use them if they're mad#i don't like when my friends are mad at me#especially when i thought i was being silly and funny before and then i have to curse my lack of social awareness#and i feel like shit#no i'm sorry i didn't mean to push your boundaries or upset you#please don't be mad i'm sorry#it feels like like how i feel when people yell#i go into full panic mode#i feel like i should add a disclaimer#this isn't meant to make anyone feel bad or anything#i just need to like#get it out ig#i'm the only one who should feel bad or anything#tree vents
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So my work schedule is from 7 AM-3:30 PM. I was so stressed about waking up on time and it's like... actually been really good? I'm surprised how well I'm adapting. Only had this schedule for a week and I'm already automatically waking up before my alarm (around 5:30 AM). Hope I can keep this momentum going for the next few months.
And a bonus when I get home around 4 it's like... I have 4-5 hours to do things before bed?? insane. and I get to LIVE like this?? T_T
#the job pays shit though#but ehhh... the people are nice too. only bad thing is i will eventually have to answer calls and i'm so stressed like pleaseee i hate#answering phones but it is what i signed up for there's no way to opt out of it lol#and also the answering phones doesn't seem too bad#i just hope i don't have perpetual anxiety about it#like some things i just have perpetual anxiety about?? and no matter what i do it never goes away? things like lane changes and driving#i just hope the answering phones feels more to me like doing public speech where it is not so bad after a certain point#my partner said maybe we could do mock phone calls and i think that is such a good idea#life stuff#another thing is i realize more of my personal triggers now that i work in an ACTUAL decent place#i asked a question today that was something i had already learned a few days ago and got such insane anxiety when i realized my manager#seemed the very slightest bit annoyed at me#like.... so slight that it was barely there?? but my body reacted as if i was being prepared to get screamed at???#el oh el my mom the other day was like 'you need to stay at a job for more than a year; it doesn't look good that you job hop.'#and i tried to explain how i feel upset and anxious about my toxic work environments in the past and she was like 'well not every job is#going to be one you love' *le sigh*#like... it's not ABOUT whether i love a job or not??? it is literally about if the working environment sends me into panic mode or not?#do not care as much about what type of job just as long as the ppl there aren't shitty#at least not the ppl i work directly under#cannot explain this to any of my family though#at least my friends understand#not gonna spend my working life around shitty ppl you know?#work is hard enough as it is without having a panic attack every other shift
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Fucks around with the mods it took me forever to get working some more and accidentally creates something illegally cute.
#using options from characters you've never romanced like row 2#sometimes leads to 'please I need you to know that's a crime to be that cute.'#this was only becasue getting any to work with Emps normal (unseen floating about somewhere back there) was a struggle I didn't want#to bother with when I'd chosen the wrong prism visit for the intention.#just because thought it was funny to bring dg retainer into the reveal scene :p#oc: ilztaun#also posted because. nah that's 100% a normal expression for him in post game when translated over to humanoid face lmao#...once he's out of panic mode and more in the chaos being you get the odd glimpse of mode.#(+ *looks at wip where they are very much fucking through act 2*)
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lessons in lovemaking [part four]
marvel au bucky x blackwidow!reader
You and Bucky Barnes go undercover as a married couple, but when a fake kiss gets too real, he unexpectedly finishes in his pants—leaving you both stunned.
Tags: 18+ content minors dni, nudity, female masturbation, fem reader, panic attacks, bucky is touch starved, mentions of previous sa, ex black widow reader, very consensual, safe words, safe word/motion use, bucky barnes needs a hug, angst, bickering, major arguments, sparring, training, mentions of alcohol, reader is lowkey depressed, trauma, mentions of past violence and death, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything
Word Count: 10k
A/N: it's ready early! thank you everyone for the support. um i'll keep it brief but this is a pretty rough, angsty one. please trust and bear with me. it will get better. thank you for putting up with my silly ideas. also a big thank you to @soelstress and @buckybarnesfic for reading this over for me and giving feedback while i was pulling my hair out a bit! as always, sorry for any typos!
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In the split second it took for you to twist around, an arm half-heartedly lifting to cover your chest, Steve’s complexion had lurched from deathly white to a deep, mortified crimson. One hand clamped desperately over his eyes, as if that could undo what he'd already seen. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly, floundering for something to say, before he choked out a strangled “Sorry!” and spun around so violently he almost took the doorframe with him.
The silence that followed was somehow worse. Beneath your hands, Bucky turned to stone, all his warmth leeched away, as if he'd been sculpted into a gargoyle mid-breath. You remained straddling his lap, dress tangled around your waist, nipples peaked against the air.
“Well,” You muttered dryly, glancing down at him. “That’ll give him something to think about during his little jogs around the compound.”
Bucky didn’t laugh.
His eyes were wide, glassy. He jerked his head towards the door, then back to you, panic flickering across his features. “How much did he—What do I—”
His hands left you completely, raking his hands down his face, as if he could claw the moment out of existence. You caught it then, the way his shoulders started to shake, breath stuttering in his chest, fingers balling into a fist as he pressed his knuckles against his forehead. You reached for him gently, two fingers grazing his wrist, the start of a soft coaxing, just enough to try and ease his hands away from his face. But he caught your wrist mid-motion.
You went still, dread curling behind your ribs.
His grip was trembling, the cool metal of his vibranium fingers tightening around your skin. Wordlessly, he motioned, three firm squeezes in quick succession.
Stop.
You were already sliding off his lap, kneeling in the tangle of half-kicked sheets and discarded pillows next to him in a futile attempt to give him more space, but it was already too late.
“Bucky?” You breathed, and he visibly flinched. You were unsure where the panic had pulled him, nor what thoughts drowned him, but you knew you couldn’t let him stay lost. “Bucky, talk to me.”
“I can’t, I can’t—” He gasped, voice thin like every breath was a fight.
“Bucky.” You interrupted him firmly. “I need you to breathe.”
The super soldier ignored your instructions, crumpling in on himself as you hovered, unsure if touching him would make it better or worse. His breaths were coming fast, too fast. You could hear how each intake rattled in his chest, lungs not fully expanding as his body was quickly switching into a fight-or-flight mode.
“He’s going to be upset.” Bucky managed to choke out, his voice breaking.
“Why would he be upset?” You pushed, keeping your voice steady and calm. “He’s your friend.”
“I don’t know, I just…” His voice was rising, near frantic. He was tugging at his hair now, stuck in a panicked spiral of his own making.
“You’re panicking. You’ve had a shock,” you said quickly. “That’s all it is. Just breathe, okay? In and out, like we always do. We’ve done this before, remember?”
His chest heaved, a desperate sound clawing up his throat.
"I can't... I—”
"Just breathe," you repeated quickly. You needed to make yourself small, unthreatening. You dropped off the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor in front of him. "Bucky, look at me."
His eyes were wild. You reached out, gently, just brushing his kneecaps with your fingertips. "Let's rationalise this for a second, okay? You’re safe. Nothing bad happened."
He shook his head in short, jerky movements, like he couldn't even hear you over the roaring panic inside his skull.
"He's gonna hate me," he gasped, chest spasming. "I—fuck—he's gonna be disgusted—"
"Hey, hey, stop," you said firmly, voice low and steady, even as your heart hammered in your own chest. You pressed your palm lightly against his thigh. "Steve is not disgusted. Embarrassed? Sure. Mortified? Definitely. But not at you, Bucky."
"I—he—" He couldn’t even get the words out anymore. His hands tore away from his hair to clutch at the sheets twisted around him.
You frowned, your mind racing as you tried to decide your next move. The shift had happened so fast. Alarm prickled at the back of your neck. You needed him to come back to you, to breathe, to move, to thaw out before he became solid ice.
You leaned closer, gently but firmly capturing his wrists in your hands. Your fingers curled around the tense line of his forearms. His skin was clammy under your touch, his pulse erratic just beneath the surface. You drew his arms down, guiding them from where they hovered and settling them across his lap.
"You’re not in trouble," you repeated, slowly and carefully. "Nothing bad is happening. Steve just walked in at the wrong time. That’s all."
He made a broken sound in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut. His vibranium hand was twitching uncontrollably against your grip.
"You’re okay," you whispered. "Look around. We're still here. No one's yelling. No one's mad."
He shook his head again, tiny tremors wracking his whole body.
"You're not back there," you added quietly, knowing exactly where his mind wanted to go. "You're Bucky Barnes. You’re safe. You’re home."
The words seemed to reach some small part of him. His breathing was still ragged, but he cracked his eyes open, glassy and rimmed red.
"There he is," you murmured, giving his wrists a soft squeeze. "Hi. Still with me?"
He nodded shakily.
"Good," you praised, shifting your grip to run a hand slowly up his arm, grounding him. "Breathe with me, Buck. In through your nose... hold it... out through your mouth. Easy. Like we always do."
You exaggerated the breath yourself, making it big and obvious, hoping he'd mimic you. You tried not to let your mind flicker to how ridiculous the situation was, you half-naked, the remnants of arousal now a cold, wet patch in your underwear as you guided a super soldier through his panic attack. Was he in over his head? Were you in over your head? He had used the safe motion. Had you pushed him too far this time—?
No. No, you had to remind yourself. It was all fine, all controlled and okay until Steve walked in. He was the unpredictable element. Each time you and Bucky had lessons, he was handing you a piece of himself, handing you all of his trust. He was vulnerable in these moments, entirely raw and exposed. And you hadn’t even taken a second to ensure the damn door was locked, too caught up in the moment, the thrill. Why had you done that? Why were you allowing yourself to be so easily swept away?
It took a few tries, several messy, half-choked inhalations, but finally, finally, he caught the rhythm. You sat there with him, counting out soft beats under your breath, refusing to let your thoughts drag you under.
When the worst of the tremors had faded, you eased back just a little. Bucky shook his head slightly, another ragged breath escaping him, but this time there was something like life in it. His hands were still shaking, but he wasn’t clawing at himself anymore.
"You're okay," you soothed. "We’re okay."
"I’m sorry," he croaked.
"You don’t have anything to be sorry for," you replied simply. "It’s not your fault. Steve should’ve knocked. If anything, I should be charging him rent for getting a free show."
That dragged a real, if frail, smile out of him.
You grinned back, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead gently.
“Listen to me,” you leaned in closer. “Let me talk to him. I’ll get Steve to come back. We’ll clear it up, face it head-on. It’s only going to make it worse if we pretend it didn’t happen.”
His blue eyes met yours, unsure. The colour looked almost unnatural, too bright against the bloodshot whites. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure, Bucky,” you replied, voice firm with conviction. “You think I’d ever do something to hurt you?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t speak, but you saw the tiny shift, his fists uncoiling, his breathing slowing, no longer tearing through him like it might rip him apart. You stood, tugging your crumpled dress back up to cover your chest again, hooking the thin straps over your shoulders.
Bucky stared down at his hands, gears in his vibranium arm whirring slightly, still sat among the dishevelled sheets. You knew he was overthinking, already surrendering to worry in those brief seconds. Against your better judgment, you reached out, cradling his head in your palm as you forced him to look up at you, shell-shocked and miserable.
“I’ll be back," you promised. He blinked up at you, throat bobbing with a hard swallow, and you had to trust he believed you. You pressed a feather-light kiss to his temple, fingers dragging across his jaw as you pulled away. You could’ve sworn he tilted his head to follow you, chasing your touch as you marched towards the door. “And hey, atleast next time we’ll remember to lock the fucking door.”
You weren't sure if he replied or if he even heard you. Some part of you, the jaded, self-destructive thing that had learned it was safer to be alone, whispered that maybe there wouldn’t be a next time. And that perhaps it was for the better. You’d survived so far, tearing down anyone who got too close, keeping parts of you locked away in solitude for your protection…You crushed that thought before it could bloom any further and slipped barefoot into the hallway. Steve hadn’t made it far, and you caught him halfway to the elevators.
"Steve! Steve, can we just talk?"
He didn't even turn around, just threw a hand up over his shoulder. "I don't think I want to know what I just walked in on—"
"Listen," you snapped, stepping sharply into his path before he could retreat any further down the hallway. He tried to sidestep you, but you mirrored him without hesitation, cutting him off cleanly. He shifted again, impatient, but you were faster, darting to block him completely. You planted yourself firmly in front of him and crossed your arms, chin lifted in a challenge. You were sure you looked a right state, hair messy, lips swollen, and the remnants of your makeup smudged. "He’s freaking out in there, okay? He thinks you’re mad at him. Please just come back and reassure him it’s fine—"
“Is it fine?” Steve cut in, slicing clean through your rambling. The edge in his voice made you falter, your brows knitting together in confusion.
Was he… angry?
Steve Rogers was ever the serious figure in the compound, tightly wound, controlled, the kind of man who dotted every ‘i’ and crossed every ‘t’. But you’d never heard his voice drop in such a way before—low and tight, his jaw clenched and his posture stiff, as if he was stewing on something unspoken.
“What?” You managed to stumble out.
Steve looked you up and down, unimpressed. His arms crossed over his own chest in a mirror of you, biceps bulging against the fabric of his sleeves. “What you’re doing. Is it really fine?”
You hesitated, thrown completely off-balance. This wasn’t anywhere on the radar of reactions you’d prepared for. You’d expected embarrassment, maybe a flustered apology, half-hearted but well-meaning. Perhaps even a flash of happiness, pride that Bucky was finally confident enough, safe enough, to take a step forward in his life. You’d braced for fist bumps, for some awkward bro code moment, whatever the hell men did. What you hadn’t prepared for—what hadn’t even occurred to you while you were coaxing Bucky through his panic—was that Steve’s anger wasn’t aimed at Bucky. It was aimed squarely at you.
Steve watched you expectantly, and all that tumbled out of your mouth was a bewildered, “I don’t understand?”
“Listen, I don’t think there is a polite way to put this…” Steve said, voice low, tight with restraint. His weight shifted forward like he was gearing up for a fight he didn’t want but felt he had to have. You braced yourself instinctively, steeling yourself with a deadly calm, ready for an outburst, accusation, or insult. But to your surprise, when he spoke again, it wasn’t anger that flooded out.
It was fear.
Fear that you had no problem deducing came from a desire to protect Bucky, not just from H.Y.D.R.A., any other foe or the world as a whole, but to protect him from you.
“He’s vulnerable. If this goes south, it could break him.”
“You don’t think I know that?” you shot back, sharper than you intended.
Steve’s eyes flickered with surprise, but from the way he was gritting his teeth, it didn’t take a genius to tell he disapproved. He took a slow breath, like he was trying to hold back everything he wanted to say but couldn’t.
“Just—” His voice cracked slightly. He ran a hand down his face, visibly struggling. “I need you to understand. Ever since we got him back, I see pieces of him. Fragments of the man I used to know.”
He paused as he motioned vaguely into the air, as if he was trying to stop the floodgate of words spilling from his lips.
“And it kills me, it kills me every day, knowing we’ll never get all of him back. That parts of my best friend are just… lost forever. I don't know what H.Y.D.R.A. took from him—hell, maybe none of us ever will—but what I do know is that he’s hanging on by threads. Whatever you’re doing with him is a bad idea.”
He swallowed thickly, his eyes flashing with something dangerously close to desperation. “It won’t just hurt him. It'll undo him. And I can't…I won’t let that happen. I won’t let you play with his emotions like that. I don’t want you damaging him any further than he already is—-”
Any sympathy you felt for Steve quickly drained as you felt heat rising up your neck, and before you could stop yourself, you snarled, “I’m not damaging him—”
You knew this look.
The thinly veiled judgment behind it.
It had followed you like a shadow from the moment you were freed from Dreykov’s clutches. You weren’t oblivious to the way people glanced at you when they thought you weren’t looking, the way prejudice soured even their best intentions. You were not naïve. You were not feeble enough to stand there and be quietly condemned.
“Are you sure?” Steve cut back, ignorant of the frustration now festering in your gut. “He’s not ready for whatever you’re pushing onto him—”
You pinched the bridge of your nose as you struggled to hold onto your temper, but it was slipping through your fingers fast. You could see it in the stubborn line of his mouth, the narrowing of his eyes.
“I’m not pushing anything onto him!”
You took a hard step forward. The movement made Steve tense, like he half-expected you to swing at him, but you didn’t. You just stood your ground, daring him to keep going, daring him to say something worse.
“I think this attitude is part of the problem, Rogers," you bit out. "How is he supposed to overcome anything, experience anything if you baby him? If you cut him off before he has the chance to grow? I’m not hurting him, I’m just helping him.”
Steve opened his mouth like he had a retort ready, but whatever words he had dried up halfway to his tongue. His hands, balled into fists at his sides, finally sagged open in helplessness. His whole stance wilted slightly, shoulders bowing under the weight of doubt.
“I don’t know...” he muttered, the words dragged from him reluctantly, like they tasted sour in his mouth.
You didn’t give him a chance to wallow. The anger was already riding too hot in your blood, crackling in your chest.
“He consents. Every time. I check with him every time.” You hissed. “Because I know how important that is to him, because it’s important to me too, but that’s a topic none of you will ever address, is it?”
Steve stared at you, breathing heavily through his nose, his chest rising and falling like a man trying desperately to hold onto his last thread of composure as you continued your rant. “We never go past his comfort zone. I never pressure him. I never trick him. I respect him. Why would you even think that?”
His mouth contorted into a scowl before he finally answered, “because I don’t know you.”
You recoiled a fraction, brow lifting in disbelief. You could’ve sworn there was a flicker of recognition in his gaze, like he was watching something familiar but hadn’t quite put the pieces together yet. You stared back at him, heat flushing your face, and when you finally found your voice, it came out quieter, but no less biting.
“No, you don’t,” you spat, the words ripping from your throat. “I know I never put the effort in, but you can’t say you ever tried either.”
The hallway fell into a suffocating silence. The kind that rang in your ears. The kind where neither of you wanted to be the first to speak, where the air between you burned with the things you couldn’t unsay now. Steve’s jaw worked soundlessly for a moment, his eyes flashing with a storm of emotions he clearly didn’t trust himself to voice. He finally just looked away, the tension radiating off him like static.
It would have been so easy to leave it like that, to turn your back and let Steve stew in his distrust. But that wouldn’t help Bucky. And he was the only thing that mattered right now.
So you spoke up, catching the thinnest, fraying thread of truce before it would fade entirely.
“Look, I don’t care what you think of me," you tried to calm your voice, keeping your tone neutral despite the fire licking up your spine. "I don’t care if you even like me to be honest, but what I do care about is that if you say you’re his friend, if you say it’s your job to look after him, then I need you to go back there and reassure him before he spirals.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. A rare, raw show of uncertainty from Captain America himself, usually so sure of himself and his actions. “You’re... you’re probably right.”
Before he could hesitate, before he could get cold feet, you reached out and grabbed his arm. His muscles went tense under your grip, but you didn’t let that deter you. You pointed a finger at him, close enough that he had no choice but to meet your glare head-on.
“Don’t treat me like the villain because I care.”
Steve gave one stiff nod, but he said nothing. You stared at him a second longer, making sure it stuck, before you finally released him with a shove of your hand.
Without another word, you turned on your heel and stalked back down the hall. You didn’t look back to see if Steve was following.
You didn’t need to.
His footsteps, reluctant but steady, fell into place behind you.
The silence prickled along your skin as you navigated quickly back to Bucky’s apartment. His anxious face plagued your mind, the way his breathing had turned shallow and scared, like a caged animal.
The door to Bucky’s apartment was still ajar, just a crack, like he'd been too afraid to close it. Or maybe he hadn’t even noticed it was open at all.
You pushed gently at the handle and stepped inside.
Bucky was still sitting on the edge of the mattress, hunched forward, elbows digging into his knees, hair half-clinging to the sweat still damp on his temples. His shirt was still wrinkled from earlier, his vibranium hand flexing unconsciously, twitching in small stutters as though trying to grasp at something he couldn’t hold.
His eyes lifted the moment he heard the door creak, wild, wide with nerves, and then they landed on Steve.
“Hey Buck…” Steve started, voice soft.
“Steve, I can explain—“ Bucky’s words spilt out in a tangle of panic, but Steve raised a hand, halting him.
“It’s alright,” Steve said quickly, the kind of quick that begged not to make it worse. His eyes scanned the room like he didn’t quite know what to do with them. “I’m not mad. I just… didn’t expect it.”
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, giving a weak, crooked sort of smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “So, uhh… how long has this been happening?”
“Since the gala,” Bucky muttered.
“The gala?” Steve echoed, blinking. “You two really hit it off then, huh?”
You resisted the urge to groan. There was a pause, awkward and brittle.
“So are you like dating or—”
“No—” You and Bucky answered in perfect, rapid unison.
Maybe too fast.
The silence that followed was deafening. Steve raised both brows, then glanced between the two of you slowly, clearly re-evaluating everything. Bucky shifted uncomfortably, rubbing at his jaw while you picked hard at the raw skin around your nails.
“Alright,” Steve said after a moment, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’m not judging. I’m just trying to understand. It’s a whole new century, Buck. I guess we gotta adapt to the times.”
He was trying, that much was clear. His voice gentle, his posture no longer combative, though the tension in his shoulders hadn’t quite let up. It was the kind of compromise only a man like Steve Rogers could offer—discomfort wrapped in compassion.
You opened your mouth, the words slow to form on your tongue. “We’ve just been… I’ve just been…”
You hesitated. Your eyes flicked to Bucky, trying to read him, trying to decide whether he wanted this out in the open, whether he’d say anything at all. But his body locked up like it expected pain, arms folded, metal fingers curled tight. His expression was a mix of shame and fear.
He looked like a man staring down a loaded barrel.
“We’ve just been fooling around,” he cut in, voice flat and even. “Nothing serious.”
Nothing serious.
You tried not to flinch, tried not to let the words sting like salt in an open wound, nor assess why you felt that way. You didn’t understand why it hurt so much, considering you had repeated those same words to Natasha not long ago. He wasn’t lying. What he said was true, even if he carefully sidestepped the messy reality of the lessons. That was a whole other rabbit hole Bucky clearly wasn’t ready to admit to Steve. Maybe not even to himself.
Still, you forced yourself to nod along, pretending the hollow feeling in your chest wasn’t there. Pretending you hadn’t gotten a little too attached to this— to the lessons, to the quiet understanding, to the broken man sitting right in front of you.
Steve’s gaze shifted between the two of you, his mouth tightening. He didn’t press, but the flicker in his eyes said enough. He noticed something, but he just wasn’t brave enough to acknowledge it.
“Alright, I believe you,” Steve said carefully. “You told anyone about this?”
“Just you,” Bucky muttered, still refusing to meet his friend's eye.
You shifted your weight, the guilt gnawing at you sharp and immediate. You forced a breath through your nose, nails digging into the tender skin around your thumb. Neither super soldier seemed to notice the way your jaw tightened, or how the metallic taste of iron bloomed across your tongue from how hard you bit down.
You couldn’t keep lying. Not now. Not after everything you had just preached about trust and care, not if you wanted Bucky to keep believing in you. You had to tell him. In the spirit of being truthful, you would tell him. You had to own up to the fact that you had foolishly confided in Natasha, that you had allowed her to get under your skin, left yourself vulnerable in a way that could very well undo everything you had built together.
The word caught your throat on its way out.
“Well...” you interrupted, voice soft, bracing yourself.
Both men turned to you, and you already regretted your decision. Steve straightened subtly, his arms crossing over his chest as he glanced between you and Bucky with wary eyes, as if already preparing himself to referee whatever was about to happen. But it was Bucky’s reaction that truly cut, his whole body going rigid where he sat, muscles locking beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. His brow furrowed, deep lines creasing his forehead as he stared at you with a mixture of confusion and something rawer, something alarmingly close to hurt.
“You told someone?” he questioned, voice tight.
“No, it’s just... Nat,” you admitted, the words spilling too fast, too desperate to soften the blow.
Bucky's face twisted. “You told Natasha?”
“No! She, uh, kinda pieced it together?” You fumbled over your words, blindly and furiously picking at your nails.
“What?”
“Look, you’re not exactly subtle,” you rushed to explain, feeling Steve shift awkwardly at your side as the conversation nosedived. “I was going to talk to you about it first, but then she cornered me, and I didn’t know what to say—”
“When?” Bucky cut in, voice rising. “When were you going to talk to me about it?”
“I don’t know!” you burst out, exasperated with yourself more than him. “I was trying to figure out how to bring it up—”
“You lied to me.”
“No, I was just—” you tried, stepping forward instinctively, but the look he gave you rooted you to the spot.
“I asked you if you had said anything to Natasha or Yelena,” Bucky interrupted, voice low and wounded, like he couldn’t quite believe it. “And you said no.”
“It just didn’t feel like the right time—” you mumbled weakly,
Bucky rolled his eyes, a sharp, bitter sound escaping him. He looked past you, to Steve, as if hoping for some escape.
“So Natasha knows,” he muttered darkly. “And then we can assume Yelena probably knows as well—”
“Nat wouldn’t say anything—”
Bucky’s laugh was hollow, almost humourless. “Do you know that? For sure?”
“Why are you so worried—”
“Because I don’t want people to know!” he snapped, voice cutting sharper than you thought he could bear to be with you. “Are you not embarrassed?”
You recoiled in shock.
Steve exhaled a breath that came out sounding suspiciously like a curse, entirely unexpected and out of character for the golden super soldier.
“Why would I be embarrassed?” you asked, voice steady despite the way your chest ached.
Bucky opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His eyes darted away, landing on the sheets crumpled around him like they held some escape, some answer. His whole posture shrank inward, collapsing in on himself.
You didn’t let it go. You couldn’t.
“Why would I be embarrassed?” you repeated, louder this time, forcing the question into the space between you.
Bucky still wouldn’t look at you. His shoulders hunched, head bowed. Scolded dog—but for once, you didn’t find it cute.
“Are you embarrassed by me, Bucky?” you asked directly.
“No,” Bucky said immediately, shaking his head. “No. That’s not what I meant—”
“It sure sounded like it,” you scoffed.
The silence that settled over the room was uncomfortable enough to make Steve squirm, the blond opened his mouth to try to smooth over the situation. You stopped him before his tongue could even form a syllable, holding up one finger as you stared across at Bucky. He blinked up at you with an expression cut somewhere between guilt and horror as he realised there was no coming back from what he had just implied. The insult had hit, the damage done, and all that was left was a chasm between you.
“I should go,” you said at last, voice clipped.
“Now, hold on—” Steve interrupted, stepping forward slightly.
“No, it’s fine," you cut him off, shaking your head. "You two should talk alone anyway."
Bucky's head jerked up slightly at your words, expression stricken. He didn’t move from where he sat, just watched silently as you crossed the room with stiff, deliberate motions. He didn’t stop you as you gathered your bra from the floor, nor when you collected your coat and shoes from where they had been haphazardly tossed.
At the door, you paused, squaring your shoulders before gesturing vaguely between them with a small, almost pitying smile. Your eyes locked onto Bucky’s, not angry, not scolding, just exhausted.
“Remember, in and out. Use your words. Talk to him, sort it out.” you reminded him, voice gentle but unwavering. “You’re on your own now.”
“Wait—” Bucky reached out instinctively, voice cracking under the strain, but it was too late.
You snapped the door shut behind you, cutting off whatever apology or excuse he might have tried to offer.
—
You’re on your own now.
The words had echoed through your mind like a curse, looping over and over.
They whispered back every time your phone lit up. They rang louder when Natasha tried to corner you with soft girl-talk after long missions or training sessions. They surged again whenever Steve hovered too close after briefings, or loomed beside the coffee machine like he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to get you alone.
You’re on your own now.
You were beginning to think those words weren’t for Bucky but for yourself.
It was your mess—a slow-burning wreck of your own making. Bucky had reached out in the aftermath, trying to bridge the silence with texts asking to talk, explain, and understand. You’d read them, every one, then locked your phone and buried it like that would bury the damage too. You were too exhausted. Too goddamn ashamed of how much you’d let him in.
You’d broken your own rules and now, predictably, you were bleeding for it.
Two weeks later, you were doing better, or at least performing the illusion well enough that no one dared question it. You’d buried yourself in work with single-minded fervour. What started as six-hour recon missions inside Karpin’s club had stretched to eight, then twelve. You hadn’t missed a shift or turned in a report that wasn’t pristine, timestamped, and drowning in intel. You were producing results so efficiently that it bordered on obsessive. Another compromise, another calculated smile, another night letting your soul rot beneath the thump of bass and leering stares in the club’s smoke-slicked VIP rooms. Progress came steep and you were the currency.
The black dress you wore clung like regret, stitched tight across your thighs and chest, sweat seeping through the synthetic fabric. Glitter clung to your skin like a rash, and your heels had carved angry grooves into the backs of your feet. The thick eye makeup you’d smeared on hours ago had begun to crumble in the corners, leaving your reflection a cracked porcelain doll in the glass door you passed. But none of that mattered. You just wanted to make it to your apartment, scrape yourself clean, and pretend, if only for a few hours, that you hadn’t given up everything just to feel nothing.
You slapped the final handwritten debrief into the data analyst’s hands, your signature barely legible.
Another mission done, but you had the sinking feeling your day was far from over, mainly because Steve was standing by the elevators with a little too much casual ease. The kind that wasn’t casual at all. He’d been lingering since you arrived to complete your debrief protocol, hovering just close enough to be noticed, but not close enough to call it out. Hands shoved in his pockets, one foot angled toward the hallway like he was trying to look like he had somewhere else to be, even though he didn’t. He was waiting, watching, hoping to intercept.
You knew better than to take the elevator. Not just because it was a coffin on cables, but because he would follow. You could already picture it, his voice low in some lame attempt not to spook you, trying to reason with you, explain himself, maybe even apologise. You didn’t want it. You didn’t want any of it. Not his concern, not his guilt, not whatever sense of responsibility he’d suddenly found like loose change in his pocket. He’d said his piece two weeks ago—said you weren’t good for Bucky. So what was this? Regret? Or worse, another excuse to tear into you?
You ducked your head, ignoring the burning ache in your heels, and made a sharp turn toward the stairwell.
“Hey,” came Natasha’s voice, too light, too amused.
You didn’t stop walking. What was this? Some kind of coordinated attack?
“Trouble in paradise?” she added, like this was a game. Like any of this was remotely fucking funny.
“Jesus, give it a break.”
“Not when you keep moping around like you’ve had your heart broken—”
“My heart isn’t broken—” you snapped without turning, pace only quickening.
“Look. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t realise things were so serious between you and Barnes. Let’s just talk about it—”
You stopped at the stairwell door, hand on the bar. Your spine went rigid, and you turned slowly, fixing her with a scathing look that could've flayed skin. She faltered under the heat of it.
“Oh, fuck off, Nat.”
Her smirk dropped. And just like that, you shoved the door open and disappeared into the stairwell.
Two weeks of silence, two weeks of pretending, two weeks of giving everything you had to missions because it was easier than sitting still. Easier than thinking about how much you’d given away and how little you had left.
You should’ve talked to him. Should’ve answered. Should’ve tried.
But you hadn’t. You hadn’t had the strength, or maybe just hadn’t wanted to be vulnerable one second longer than necessary. Because once you were vulnerable, once you opened that door, you couldn't un-feel what was felt. You couldn’t un-know the way he looked at you.
You hit the fifth landing when it happened, and your heel caught.
A sickening skritch, and your ankle jolted back, yanked by the spike of your stupid, overpriced, Stark donated shoe catching in one of the grid holes in the grated metal step. You cursed, gripping the railing, yanking once, twice—harder.
It wouldn’t budge.
A breath shuddered out of you. Your hands trembled as you crouched down, fingers scrabbling to free it. The heel was wedged deep in the hole, warped just enough that it wouldn’t twist loose. You gritted your teeth, tugging again. Nothing.
The pressure inside you, simmering, festering, unspoken for days, snapped like a wire. You stood abruptly and kicked your other shoe off with a grunt, the heel clattering against the wall with a hollow thud. Then you grabbed the stuck one with both hands, tore it loose, and flung it with everything you had.
The shoe hit the concrete wall with a loud crack, then fell limp to the landing.
You let out a dry, broken sound—half laugh, half sob—and dropped to sit on the step, barefoot, legs shaking. No tears came, but the pressure behind your eyes stung. You pressed the heels of your palms hard into your face, breathing ragged through clenched teeth.
You’re on your own now.
—
The shower hadn’t helped.
You’d stood under the stream far too long, letting the water scald down your shoulders and rinse away the tension, the sweat, the last remnants of Karpin’s perfumed hell. Now, dressed in an old t-shirt and soft shorts, you stood at the foot of your bed. The sheets were untouched, cool and smoothed from disuse, undisturbed like a hotel room no one had ever checked into. You blinked at them like they might blink back.
You hadn’t been sleeping well. Not for weeks. Then again, sleep had never come easily. Most nights, you crashed on the couch, half-dressed, half-conscious, the TV humming in the background. There was something final about beds, something about the unspoken history soaked into the mattress and pillows.
With a small, habitual sigh, you pulled back the covers and slid beneath them, curling slightly onto your side, picking absently at the skin around your thumbnail. You winced when your nail caught a sore patch, your skin already raw and torn, but didn’t stop until the sting sharpened.
You reached for your phone, trying to distract your nervous hands. The light burned your eyes, too bright in the dark room, but you navigated by muscle memory. Messages. His name. Your thumb hovered, heart slowing as the thread opened.
The last ones sat like ghosts, pale and greyed, still waiting for a reply.
Just talk to me.
Please?
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it like that.
Can we please talk?
You stared at them, lips parting slightly. That sick little ache twisted low in your ribs. You scrolled past, skimming quickly until the tone shifted, until the anger and desperation faded into something older.
Are you still awake?
Come over?
Can’t sleep.
Still can’t sleep.
I made tea. It’s too strong. You’ll hate it. Come fix it?
You could almost hear his voice, tired, soft, and just a little grumpy, the way it got when it was too late and he didn’t want to be alone but didn’t know how to say it.
You scrolled further, reading the back-and-forth, the playful jabs, the dry jokes, the quiet check-ins he always offered at the end of your missions, even when he already knew the details. You closed your eyes and saw it clearly, his apartment cast in low, amber light, the muted hum of the fridge, the TV murmuring. His arm would hang lazily over the back of the couch, like he wasn’t obviously waiting for you.
You could picture how his lips would twitch into a grin when you finally walked through the door. The quiet press of his hand against the small of your back as he led you past the threshold. How he had grown more confident with each night, how he laughed now, full and unguarded, at the sarcasm that used to make him flinch. How he looked when he was unravelled beneath you, breathless, red-cheeked, eyes blown wide.
You didn’t know when your hand had slipped beneath the sheets.
But now it was there, curled between your thighs, brushing past the waistband of your shorts as memory and longing swelled in your chest like a bruise. His voice in your ear, the way he would shiver when you whispered to him. The little whines he tried to swallow down.
Your fingers found slick heat, and your breath hitched as you brushed against your clit, circling slowly, gently. You kept your eyes closed. It was easier that way. Easier to summon the image of him pressing kisses to your sternum, the chill of his vibranium palm cupping your breast, thumb skimming over your nipple. You could almost feel it.
A soft moan escaped your throat as your fingers dipped lower, working in a rhythm that was steady but hollow, a poor mimicry of what you really wanted. Still, you chased it—chased him—through every flicker of heat and memory.
You ground the heel of your palm against your clit and gasped into the pillow, hips twitching upward.
“Bucky—”
His name slipped from your lips, barely a breath.
And everything stopped.
You froze. Fingers stilled. You sat up sharply, yanking your hand away like it burned, chest rising and falling beneath the old cotton of your shirt. You would’ve thrown your own damn traitorous hand across the room if it wasn’t attached to your wrist.
You stared into the dark, lips parted, throat tight, wondering how the hell you’d ended up here, half undone in an empty bed, chasing a ghost who hadn’t spoken to you in weeks.
—
You stepped into the gym, the doors swinging shut behind you with a dull thud. The air greeted you like a punch to the lungs, rubber mats, dried sweat, and stale air conditioning. Your routine had become muscle memory by this point. Drop the bag by the bench. Roll your shoulders. Stretch until your bones stop screaming. Pretend everything is fine.
Except it wasn’t.
You blinked against the harsh fluorescents, scanning the space. No flash of red hair. No high blonde ponytail bobbing by the punching bags. No snide commentary lobbed across the sparring ring. Just quiet. Not peace, it was never peaceful, but that suffocating kind of silence that settled just before the ground gave out.
And then it did in the shape of Steve Rogers.
“They got pulled last night,” he said, emerging from the weight racks where he and Sam had been mid-stretch. “Mission came in late. Left before sunrise.”
You nodded once, jaw tight, masking the drop in your stomach. Of course they did. Of course, they left. Probably Nat punishing you for being a bitch to her by the stairwell.
Steve offered a vague, practised smile, too quick, too knowing. “But don’t worry. We’re subbing in.”
Your gaze flicked to Sam, who gave you a friendly wave. Then to Bucky, who was hunched over, lacing up his boots with a quiet intensity that suggested he’d rather be anywhere else. His eyes caught yours for only a second, just enough for you to register the damage. He looked as wrecked as you felt. Pale, bruised beneath the eyes, mouth tight. He hadn’t slept properly in days. Favouring his right side again, you could see the subtle strain as he stood up, rolling his shoulders in faux nonchalance.
You hesitated. “You’re... stepping in?”
Steve shrugged. “We usually run around this time anyway. Figured we’d help cover.”
You glanced back toward the exit. The door was still there. Still functional. Escape was still an option, and you were a pretty good liar when you wanted to be. But selfishness was a slippery thing, and you didn’t move.
So you nodded, slow and controlled. “Right. Okay.”
You dropped down into a lunge, one knee kissing the mat, the other bent clean above your ankle. You held it steady, focusing on your breathing as your muscles slowly stretched awake.
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, using that easy posture he adopted when he wanted to appear relaxed. It only made you suspicious.
“What do you three usually run on Mondays?”
You shifted into a hamstring stretch, straightening your front leg and folding over it with practised ease. “Sparring,” you said, voice calm despite the tightness in your shoulders. “Nat’s idea. She says it sets the tone for the rest of the week.”
Steve gave a small smile. “Great. You’ll go with Bucky.”
You stilled mid-fold, hands hovering above your shin. The mat felt suddenly unstable beneath you.
Lifting your gaze slowly, you tried not to flinch visibly. “Is that… necessary?”
Steve tilted his head. “Why? Is there a problem?”
Sam raised a brow but said nothing, sensing the tension but clearly not sure what to make of it. You sat back on your heels, drawing your arms overhead in a stretch you didn’t need, using movement to mask your hesitation.
“No,” you said evenly, rising to your feet. “No problem.”
Across the room, Bucky had stilled, his jaw locked tight, a muscle ticking as he shot Steve a single, withering glance. He didn’t say a word, didn’t need to. The reluctance in his movements said enough as he pushed up from the bench, slow and stiff, like gravity was suddenly working against him.
This wasn’t training. This was theatre. A stage set under fluorescent lights and recycled air. And Steve? Still over by the weights with Sam, pretending to be engaged in some idle conversation? Their voices were hushed, but their eyes flicked over too often, too deliberately? This had been arranged, choreographed behind your back like some well-meaning intervention. You wondered who else knew, who had caught wind. Had Sam pieced it together? Had Yelena? Was this their way of ‘helping’?
Bucky stepped into place across from you, feet shoulder-width apart, arms loose at his sides. He shifted, rolling his shoulders in a slow motion. The right still caught slightly. He still hadn’t gone to physio, that was clear. Stubborn as ever. Just one more thing for you to worry over.
“Ready?” he asked at last. His voice was dry, flat.
You swallowed the knot in your throat and gave a curt nod. “Yeah.”
The first few rounds were predictable. You struck low, swept a leg, and knocked him off balance. He grunted, hit the mat, and bounced back up without a word. Then it was your turn. He twisted past your arm, hooked your leg behind his, and took you down in one smooth motion. You landed hard, breath puffing out of your lungs in a curse.
The fourth time you clashed, your forearms locked, both of you panting, he finally spoke.
“You always fight this sloppy when you're pissed off?” he muttered.
You bared your teeth. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
He pushed off with a sharp motion, shoving you back with more force than necessary. You staggered but caught yourself.
“You said we were done,” Bucky said, jaw clenched, circling you again. “Figured that meant you wouldn’t be sneaking glances at me every five seconds.”
A guttural laugh left your lips as you stepped in, aimed low and fast, but he blocked you easily. “I’m sorry, are you embarrassed, Barnes? Must be so embarrassing for you to have someone like me near you—”
“Don’t say that,” he snapped.
You hesitated just a second too long, and he used it, sweeping in, gripping your arm, twisting you toward the floor. But instead of letting the momentum carry, you pivoted mid-fall and slammed your elbow into his side, dragging him down with you. You both hit the mat in a tangle, limbs locked, breath heavy. Your chest pressed to his. His fingers curled tightly around your wrist. You could feel his heart hammering under your palm.
You shoved off him roughly and stood, pacing back toward the centre, sweat prickling down your spine, adrenaline and something uglier twisting in your gut.
“You really wanna do this?” you said, voice hoarse.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes flashing. “I don’t know. Do you?”
Your blood roared.
Steve called out from the other side of the gym, something about keeping it light.
But it was too late.
You charged again.
No more feints. No more dancing around it. You drove into him with a fury you hadn’t realised had been coiled so tightly in your chest. Bucky blocked, returned, shoved—your bodies collided again and again, a flurry of jabs, kicks, twists, and takedowns. Your knuckles ached from where they connected with his forearms, your legs trembled from exertion. Neither of you held back anymore. This was the type of sparring that Nat was desperate to get out of you, messy, dirty plays that she praised.
He got a hit in against your ribs. You grunted and retaliated with a kick that swept his leg, sending him crashing to the mat. He growled, rolled, pulled you down with him, and suddenly you were grappling, arms locking, muscles burning.
Then he flipped you.
You hit the mat hard. Your breath left you in an abrupt wheeze.
His weight came down over you, solid, full-body pressure, his knee between your thighs to brace, his forearm across your collarbone pinning your shoulder. His hand gripped your wrist, and your other hand was caught somewhere beneath your own hip. The mat pressed into your spine. His face loomed above yours, his jaw clenched tight, and his breath fast and uneven.
You struggled.
At first, it was instinctual. A jerk of the hips. A twist of the arm. Trying to buck him off like you always had before. The sparring was routine, muscle memory, a thing you’d done with a dozen people a hundred times. But Bucky was heavier than you remembered. Stronger. His grip was too tight, his weight too much. Maybe you’d never quite realised how gentle he had been with you before, how soft and malleable he made himself when both of you were in bed.
Something primal and old stirred in the pit of your stomach.
Your limbs started to go rigid. Your throat tightened. You blinked, but the edges of your vision were already going dark, tunnelling inward, compressing the world into a narrow box with no air. His weight pressed down on your hips, his knee solid between your thighs, your shoulders pinned in place. You couldn’t breathe. You tried sharp, gasping inhales, but it wasn’t working. The more you pulled in, the more the air seemed to thin.
Your body twitched beneath him, useless, trapped, every muscle locking up. You felt yourself whimper, but it barely escaped your throat. You bit down hard on your lip to stop it from turning into something worse.
You tried to scream, to yell his name—Bucky, stop, stop—but no words came out. Just pressure and panic and the unbearable rush of tears behind your eyes. They brimmed but didn’t fall. You refused to let them fall. Not here. Not now.
He didn’t move. Didn’t notice. He thought it was part of the fight. He thought you were still in it.
You tried to suck in a breath and choked on it.
You lifted your hand, every motion sluggish and jerky, and tapped three times on his forearm.
Bucky froze.
His entire body went still like someone had hit a kill switch. The pressure lifted instantly as he pushed himself off, retreating back on his knees. His face was alarmed, eyes wide and scanning.
You sat up slowly, not looking at him, not looking at anything. Your hands were flat against the mat, supporting your shaking frame. Your lungs worked overtime, trying to stabilise, trying to ground yourself. Your face flushed hot, not just from exertion but also from shame.
“Hey…” Bucky reached a hand toward you, but you cowered before he could touch you.
You forced yourself to your feet, knees stiff, stars swimming across your vision.
Bucky didn’t move, didn’t speak. He just knelt there on the mat, his eyes locked on you, searching your face like he was trying to read between the lines, like the truth might be scrawled somewhere in the way your mouth trembled or how you blindly picked at your nails.
His expression had dropped into something taut and drawn, like he couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. His brain catching up with what the tap meant—what it truly meant.
“Shit,” he breathed.“I didn’t know. I—I didn’t see it.”
He looked like he might be sick. Like he wanted to reach for you but knew he couldn’t. Knew he shouldn’t. His weight shifted, knee lifting like he was going to get up, close the space between you, but you took half a step back before he could. That was enough. He stayed where he was.
You hated how badly you wanted to fall into him.
Your whole body screamed for it, for safety, for the press of arms you trusted around you, for the warmth of him. For the feeling of a steady heart under your cheek, a voice in your ear telling you you were okay, you were here, it was over.
But you didn’t move. You locked your arms around your middle instead. Drew in a breath so deep it scraped your ribs raw and shoved everything down.
Still, your eyes lingered on him for a beat too long. On his worry. His guilt. His panic. He had remembered. He had known what the signal meant, even after all this time, hadn’t argued, hadn’t questioned it and hadn’t made you explain.
And that—that meant something.
Slowly, with herculean effort, you rolled your shoulders back and let your face go blank as Steve and Sam approached.
“What are you two doing?” Steve asked, brows drawn together. He didn’t sound accusatory, just cautious, like he was testing the temperature of a room already on fire. “I told you to spar, not kill each other—”
“I—” Bucky started, lifting his hands slightly, almost in surrender. His voice was steady, but there was a slight tremor beneath it. You heard it. He was trying to smooth it over, or maybe like the words had just slipped from that place inside him that wasn’t guarded. He ignored Steve, eyes firmly locked onto you. “You alright, doll?”
He said it with such casualness. Casualness that indicated he didn't realise what had just slipped past his lips. It was instinct, probably.
Still, it hit you like a slap.
You didn’t even get the chance to level him with a look of ‘well-you’ve-gone-and-done-it-now’ before Sam’s head whipped around, armed with an expression somewhere between bewilderment and horror.
“What did you just call her?”
Bucky said nothing. His lips pressed into a thin line, and you swore you saw the slightest tinge of red creep up his neck. Steve exhaled through his nose, loud and irritated, dragging a hand down his face like he was already regretting whatever scheme he had been plotting. Whatever it had been, it was clear to you that Sam hadn’t been brought up to speed.
“I’m fine,” you said, too quickly.
You didn’t look at anyone, just grabbed your bag from the bench and turned, heading for the locker room without a word.
Behind you, silence lingered on the mat.
—
Tony’s penthouse glittered like a scene from a luxury magazine shoot, all sleek lighting, glass walls, and a sky full of stars pressed against the floor-to-ceiling windows. Music thumped low and rich through the space, some jazzy, remixed classic that Tony swore gave the night ‘class’. Outside, New York burned electric, skyscrapers blinking like a million eyes. Inside, the air reeked of expensive cologne, champagne, and politics.
You stood by the bar, posture poised, gown clinging perfectly in all the ways it was meant to. The colour was deep and dark, with a silky fabric cascading down your body like liquid shadow, explicitly chosen to flatter, distract, and hide. Your hair was swept into a neat updo, not a strand out of place. Lipstick matched the shade of your nails, the polish partly to distract from the skin you had picked raw. Sleek, practised, controlled. You looked the part.
God, you hated looking the part.
But the board had insisted. Visibility. Cohesion. Unity. The Avengers, Agents, Consultants, Freelance, everybody needed to be seen tonight, in public, together, smiling. To show the sponsors, the donors, the shareholders or whoever the fuck had power that everything was fine. That the world was still being held together by its favourite, dysfunctional little family.
You sipped your drink and nodded when someone from marketing passed by and forced a tight-lipped smile when a UN delegate’s assistant asked for a photo—laughed, genuinely for a moment, when Yelena shoved a canapé into Kate’s mouth mid-sentence and nearly made her choke.
Thor had clearly been overindulging in full Asgardian regalia and a black bowtie hanging comically loose around his thick neck. He was halfway through recounting an epic battle tale to a group of mortified interns, sloshing golden liquid onto the white rug as he gestured too grandly, his booming laugh echoing off the glass.
You laughed with him. Or, rather, around him.
You weren’t drunk, hadn’t dared allow it. The buzz you wore tonight came from anxiety. You had perfected the art of looking like you were fine. Fine in heels. Fine in silence. Fine in a room full of people where the one person you couldn't stop thinking about was also pretending he was fine.
You were on your millionth fake laugh when Steve stepped up beside you.
“I come in peace,” he said quickly, hands raised, like he expected you to throw a punch.
You shot him a flat look and started to turn away. “Whatever it is, Rogers, I’m not in the mood—”
“Hey—” he cut in gently, lowering his voice. “Nat was looking for you. Said she wanted to talk. Something important. She’s out on the balcony.”
That made you pause.
You glanced at him, reading his expression, trying to discern if there was more to it. But Steve had always been a terrible liar. This wasn’t his idea. There was definitely something sketchy about it…but you’d bite.
“…Fine,” you muttered, setting your glass on the bar. “Thanks.”
You peeled yourself from the crowd's edge, careful not to make eye contact with anyone too important or drunk. The floor beneath you pulsed faintly with the bass of the music, the champagne-fueled laughter, the click of heels and the hum of fake conversation.
Out of habit, your eyes scanned the room for him. You didn’t even mean to. It was muscle memory by now. A flicker of dark hair. Broad shoulders. The kind of presence that stood out, even when he was trying not to. But you didn’t see him.
Maybe he left. Perhaps he found a corner to vanish into, away from all this noise.
You dodged a passing executive with a knowing smile and a polite excuse, dipped past a photographer angling for candids, and spun gracefully on your heel to avoid getting cornered by a senator’s wife with a diamond necklace and a mile-long list of questions.
Finally, you reached the balcony doors and slipped through them.
The cool air of the balcony kissed your bare shoulders the moment the sliding door clicked shut behind you. You exhaled. Finally, quiet.
Except—
He was there.
Leaning on the glass railing, gazing out over the city, hands braced as if the skyline could offer answers.
He didn’t turn at first. Just stood there, tall and tense, framed by the hum of the city lights below. His suit fit too well, with sharp lines and immaculate tailoring, the black lapels catching faint glints of light. The tie was knotted tight against his throat like a collar, strangling something feral just beneath the surface, like dressing up a wild, wounded animal and calling it tame.
You knew how much he hated this, the attention, the stiffness, the shallow, gleaming pretence. He hated how the suits itched, how they never accommodated his arm, and how they made him feel on display. Something was jarring about seeing him like this. Clean-shaven, hair slicked back and perfectly parted. Like someone had tried to iron out all the edges and polish him into something smooth and forgettable, it didn’t work. It never did.
And then you saw it—the glove. Smooth black leather over his left hand. Hiding it.
Shame. Fear. Judgment. You knew what that glove meant, what it had always meant. Just another mask he was forced to hide behind, or maybe a mask he forced himself to hide behind. And even now, he felt ashamed among people who called him a hero, who toasted him with champagne and wanted him in photos. And maybe he was right to feel wary, not to get too comfortable around the puppeteers who pulled all the strings.
It broke your heart.
Your heels clicked softly across the balcony tile as you approached. Bucky turned at the sound, startled.
His eyes locked on yours.
You stopped a few paces away, your breath catching for just a second. His gaze darted to the door, then back to you.
“Let me guess,” you said dryly, arms folding over your chest, “Nat came to you and told you Steve was looking for you on the balcony?”
Bucky blinked. “How did you—?”
“Because Steve just came to me,” you said, arching a brow, “and told me Nat was looking for me on the balcony.”
He swore softly under his breath and looked away, exhaling like he’d been sucker-punched. The wind tugged at his jacket, and his hand ghosted near the balcony rail.
“I think we’ve been set up.” You hummed.
“I’m sorry,” Bucky said quickly, already stepping back. “I can go—”
“No, it’s okay.” You cut him off. “We should talk.”
PART FIVE
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hello! thank you for reading, let me know your thoughts! i no longer have a taglist because it got too long and was reaching the tag limit. if you want to keep being notified of my updates please follow @artficlly-updates and turn on post notifications! <3
#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes smut#bucky fanfic#beefy bucky#bucky smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#winter soldier#marvel fic#marvel au#marvel#lessons in lovemaking
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Hear me out, possessive reader plays a prank, or maybe to see how it would work out and starts acting wayyy less possessive, to the point of being a normal partner..
I NEED SI REACTION
Anon, I love your fucking mind. I had the best time writing this, literally giggling and kicking my feet while imagining Simon spiraling because his crazy girl went "normal mode" on him and he couldn’t handle it for even a second. BASED ON THIS IDEA
You barely looked at him when the waitress called him handsome.
You just smiled to yourself and kept sipping your drink, didn’t glare at her, didn’t grab his hand and lace your fingers through his, didn’t scoot closer in your seat or wrap your arms around him like you used to, and Simon sat there blinking at you like he’d just been slapped across the face.
And then when you walked past a group of girls at the grocery store and one of them giggled and said something about his arms, you didn’t even flinch, didn’t even frown, didn’t even murmur something low and territorial under your breath the way you always did, and Simon actually almost tripped over the cart trying to get a reaction out of you, heart hammering so hard.
You used to get pissed if he so much as looked at another woman too long, used to give him that smug little smirk when you caught someone staring at him, used to lean into him and press your mouth to his ear and mutter "mine" so dark and low that it left him shivering for hours, and now? Now you were just... chill.
Way too chill.
He caught himself thinking insane things like maybe you were losing interest, maybe you were getting ready to leave, maybe you finally realized he wasn’t enough for you, maybe you were pulling away slow and silent to make it easier when you walked out for good, and by the time you got home, Simon’s brain was working overtime, replaying every interaction, every glance, every smile you had given that wasn’t just for him, every time you hadn't touched him when you should have.
You didn’t steal his hoodie when he tossed it on the couch.
You didn’t scroll through his phone and make snarky comments about the girls who liked his photos.
You didn’t pull into his lap when he sat down to watch TV.
You didn’t tell him to shower because he "smelled like other people," which he always secretly loved, even though he rolled his eyes and grumbled about it every time.
You just... existed next to him.
Detached.
Simon sat there on the couch while you scrolled on your phone, completely casual, legs tucked under you, not touching him at all, and he was spiraling so badly he almost convinced himself he could physically see the relationship disintegrating in real time, piece by miserable piece.
He thought about asking if you still loved him.
He thought about proposing on the spot just to lock you down before you could change your mind.
He thought about texting Johnny and asking him if it was normal to feel like your entire world was slipping out from under you because your girlfriend wasn’t being a possessive lunatic for five seconds.
Finally, when you stood up and stretched and said, "I'm gonna head to bed" without even glancing at him, without even saying goodnight or trying to drag him with you, Simon couldn’t take it anymore.
He launched off the couch and followed you, heart pounding like he was about to get left behind at the airport or something, stomach twisted into a knot.
You climbed into bed and flipped onto your side, facing away from him like it was nothing, like you hadn’t spent months curling around him like a vine the second he lay down.
He just stood there at the foot of the bed, breathing way too hard for a normal human being, feeling an honest-to-God panic attack brewing in his chest.
"Love," he said, his voice way shakier than he wanted it to be.
You didn’t even roll over. "Hmm?"
He swallowed hard, hands fisting at his sides. "You don’t want me anymore."
You snorted. Actually snorted. "What are you talking about?"
Simon clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. "You—you’re not even—you didn’t get mad when that girl flirted with me. You didn’t steal my hoodie. You didn’t call me yours even once. You’re acting like we’re—" his voice cracked and he cursed under his breath, "—like we’re normal."
You turned slowly, propping yourself up on your elbow, and the look you gave him was so infuriatingly calm he almost burst into tears on the spot.
"You mean," you said, so evenly it made his eye twitch, "like a normal girlfriend who trusts her boyfriend?"
He stared at you, chest heaving, entire body screaming at him that something was wrong.
"You’re gonna leave me," he said, absolutely sure of it, absolutely certain this was the beginning of the end.
You blinked at him for a second, like you were trying very hard not to laugh in his stupid, panicking face, and then you moved so fast he barely had time to react—you were grabbing him by the front of his shirt, hauling him down onto the bed, straddling his hips, and pinning him there with your thighs as your hands locked around his neck, firm but not tight, just enough to make him shut up and listen.
"Listen to me, you stupid, beautiful man," you said, voice low and furious in that way that made every nerve in his body light up, "you need me just as much as I need you. You belong to me. You hear me? You are fucking mine. I’m not going anywhere; I’m never fucking leaving you. I don't want normal; I want you wrapped around my fucking finger where you belong. Don’t ever doubt that again."
You leaned in closer, your nose brushing his, your hands still gripping his neck just enough to keep him pinned under you, and you added, your voice dropping even lower, smug and wicked, "And maybe I wanted you to lose your fucking mind for a bit. Wanted you to see how much you love it when I’m unhinged about you."
Simon just exhaled like he’d been punched in the stomach and kissed at the same time, his whole body sagging against the bed.
He groaned, almost whining, burying his face against your chest with a muffled, desperate, "Fuckin’ hell, don’t ever do that to me again, you psycho."
But his arms were wrapping around you like steel, holding you so tight, and when you laughed and tugged his hair gently, he actually sighed in relief, like his whole world had finally clicked back into place.
"You’re crazy," he muttered again, not even trying to sound annoyed, his voice almost grateful.
"You love it," you said against his hair, grinning wide enough your cheeks hurt.
"Yeah," he breathed, voice raw and low and real, "yeah, I fuckin’ do. I need you crazy. Need you to ruin me a little. Keep me yours."
You kissed the side of his head, smug and sweet and savage all at once, and Simon just kept breathing you in, letting that awful gnawing terror bleed out of him one slow second at a time until there was nothing left but you, your hands, your voice, your body wrapped around him like armor, pulling him deeper, anchoring him exactly where he belonged.
And he was fine, better than fine actually, and exactly where he needed to be.
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i can't even explain how much i love this idea...
@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle @identity2212 @farylfordaryl @rafaelacallinybbay @akkahelenaa @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @wraith-bravo6
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon ghost riley#simon riley imagine#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you
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Batman and Robin!Jason, who are getting to interrogate some criminal (they need his confession and he just won't budge) for the first time together, and Jason begs Bruce to allow him to be a bad cop. That's like, a total opposite of Dick, who loved being good cop, while B interrogated the hell out of them.
But Jason? Bad Cop? It is... funny.
Jaybin. In these cutest shorts, toothy smirk, and overexcitment?
But Bruce can't say no, so he just nods along, thinking that criminal would probably be too scared of his presence anyway to not confess. Expect, criminal isn't, and Jason is grilling his ass in a surprising manner that makes Gordon whistle in another room.
Criminal: Ha, as if I am going to say anything to a kid. How old are you, ten?
Jaybin, scoffing: Was it how old were you when your daddy threw you on the streets?
Criminal, pausing: W-what. How did you...
Jaybin, casually: Oh, I know everything, buddy. You were always stealing, weren't you? Almost made your daddy lose his job... Eh, you would think that with all these years under your belt, you would at least learn how to be discreet. But, nope, same old disappointment.
Criminal, flaring up protectively: I am discreet! I am very discreet!
Jaybin: Discreet my ass! Your attempt to break into the house was caught within five minutes because your ass forgot to turn the security on! And you left your pliers that you used to break the fence on the roadside! How is that discreet?!
Criminal, hitting his hand against the table: Listen here, you pipsqueak, first of all — how could I know that there is a security?!
Jaybin, rolling his eyes: You didn't even do research. Wonderful.
Criminal, stuttering: A-and, second of all, I threw it away in panic. I left no fingertips, so now what?! Huh?!
Jaybin, disappointingly shaking his head: All of these troubles, and you barely got to steal stuff. That's, like, super lever embarrassing, my dude.
Criminal: IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I GOT DISTRACTED BY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIVING THERE!!!! I WOULD RETURN FOR MORE, YOU LITTLE JACKASS.
Jaybin, blinking: Woah. No surprise, Daddy kicked you out, dude. You are kinda dumb.
Jaybin, returning to his beaming mode: Hey, B, I think, we have a confession!
Batman, flabbergasted: G-good work, chump.
Jaybin: (bashful giglging)
Bruce, in the car: So... How did you know his family history?
Jason, shrugging: Oh, streets talk. Also, that jackass stole food when I was nine. Always wanted to make him pay for that.
Bruce: Aren't you very... revengeful...
Jason: Hehe.
#Jason Petty Todd#it is his actual middle name trust#also I think Dick just loved being a good cop and being so condescending and manipulative when B was interrogating#he gets off on that so he didn’t even try to be a bad cop — being good cop is funnier#jason todd#red hood#batman#dcu comics#dcu#dc universe#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson
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you cut yourself shaving – grid reactions ── .✦
content: shaving accident + soft chaos + them freaking out or babying you
lando norris ── .✦
he hears a yelp from the bathroom and IMMEDIATELY goes
“are you dead? are you bleeding? did you fall?” you show him your leg and it’s a tiny river of blood he freaks like you got stabbed “you need stitches. we need gauze. where’s the gauze?? do we have gauze??” brings you a Spider-Man bandaid and insists on applying it himself while calling you “my little wounded soldier.”
oscar piastri ── .✦
calm. too calm. you tell him you cut yourself and he’s like
“okay. how bad?” you show him. his face drops. “oh. okay. we’re dealing with a murder scene.” brings paper towels like it’s a crime scene investigator kit then quietly goes and googles “do deep razor cuts need stitches” while pretending he’s totally confident.
charles leclerc ── .✦
“what happened?” you show him and he gasps like he just witnessed a horror movie “mon dieu, you’re bleeding!!” he immediately grabs every skincare product in reach like it’s useful “this is toner, right? no, wait. no no, that’s serum. shit.” ends up pressing a cold washcloth on it and kissing your knee like it’ll fix it
lewis hamilton ── .✦
he walks in, sees the cut, and just calmly says
“sit down, baby. i got this.” pulls out an actual first aid kit like a professional he’s gentle, precise, maybe even too calm but after he bandages you up: “now why were you shaving in a rush? hmm?” makes you promise to be careful and lets you cuddle into him for the rest of the night like it’s part of healing
carlos sainz ── .✦
“AY DIOS— what did you do!?” you say “i was shaving” and he goes “you were WHAT? no, never again.” full-on dramatic dad mode he’s down on one knee, dabbing at your skin like he’s tending to a soccer injury refuses to let you get up “you rest. i’ll make you tea. or wine. probably wine.”
daniel ricciardo ── .✦
gasps SO LOUD
“BLOOD?! OH MY GOD. YOU’RE DYING.” you’re like: it’s just a razor cut. “WE NEED TO AMPUTATE. I MEAN. IT’S BEEN NICE.” he brings you snacks, band-aids, and a Sharpie so he can draw a “cool scar” on the bandage later tells everyone “she almost lost a leg, but she pulled through. brave girl.”
gabriel bortoleto ── .✦
he gets so serious
“amor?? what happened? are you okay?” you tell him and he sighs in relief but still treats it like a real wound presses kisses around the cut, tells you you’re brave, literally calls it a “warrior mark” “now you have a story to tell.” offers to finish shaving your legs and actually does a decent job
franco colapinto ── .✦
walks in, sees the cut, panics for 0.5 seconds
“shit, did the razor attack you?” then immediately turns into chaos starts pacing “do i put pressure? should i elevate your leg? babe where is your blood pressure monitor—do we even own one??” you calm him down he puts a bandaid on, kisses it, then dramatically falls onto the bed like the crisis aged him 10 years
max verstappen ── .✦
he walks in, sees it, and goes
“…that’s a lot of blood.” immediately takes control. cleans it, bandages it like a machine but the whole time: “this is why you let me shave your legs.” you’re like ??? “you get distracted. i’m steady.” he’s so smug. but he also tucks you into the couch after with a blanket and snacks like he didn’t just roast you
©p1girlfriend | requested | requests open!
#f1 x reader#f1 headcanons#f1 fluff#f1 imagine#drunk chaos#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#carlos sainz x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#gabriel bortoleto x reader#franco colapinto x reader#max verstappen x reader#lando norris#oscar piastri#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton#carlos sainz#daniel ricciardo#gabriel bortoleto#franco colapinto#max verstappen#f1#formula 1#fanfic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfics#f1 imagines#x reader
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First years find out you're dating their dorm leader
(dramatic gasps, chaos, and a lot of “NO WAY! YOU?!”)
✦fem!reader

Ace Trappola
When Ace finds out you’re dating Riddle, he physically malfunctions. He catches the two of you in a rare soft moment. Riddle brushing your hair out of your face in the rose garden, murmuring something sweet… and Ace just… stops functioning.
“WAIT. HOLD UP. HOLD… ARE YOU DATING RIDDLE?! OUR RIDDLE?!”
You nod slowly. Riddle stiffens. “Yes. We have been for some time.”
Ace just throws his hands up.
“You mean to tell me you've been willingly dating a walking rulebook this entire time?!”
Then it clicks.
“Wait… THAT’S why you keep surviving his tantrums. And why he let you off with warnings. I knew something was sus!!”
Cue Ace groaning dramatically while muttering about how
“first the overbolts, now you, what’s next?… Cater adopting a child?!”
Deep down, he’s genuinely happy for you. But he’ll never stop teasing.

Deuce Spade
Deuce finds out about your relationship with Riddle by overhearing you call him “love” behind the dorm kitchen, and he nearly drops a whole tray of tea.
“Wait. Waitwaitwait! Did you just call Riddle love?! LIKE IN A ROMANTIC WAY?!”
You blink at him, guilty. Riddle clears his throat.
“Yes, Deuce. She’s my girlfriend. I’d prefer if you didn’t drop the teacups.”
Deuce looks like he’s about to have a full blown meltdown.
“Wha—I—Is that allowed?! Wait, no… of course it is! I’m just… YOU?! And RIDDLE?!”
He’s trying to process everything like it's a pop quiz he wasn’t ready for. He salutes you both out of sheer panic.
“I promise to uphold your secret honorably! WAIT!! Do I need to call you ma’am now?!”
Riddle: “…No.” You: laughing too hard to answer.

Jack Howl
Jack walks in on you and Leona napping under a tree in each other’s arms and nearly flips.
“…You’re kidding.”
When you’re alone he will catch you, staring you down like a judgmental big brother.
“You’re really dating Leona-senpai? Like, our dorm leader? The one who skips meetings and naps through drills?”
You nod cautiously. “Yes. We’ve been together for a while.”
Jack exhales through his nose.
“…Huh. Can’t say I expected that. But I guess if anyone could handle him, it’s you.”
Still, he’s lowkey worried. Leona’s not exactly emotionally available. But when he catches Leona actually smiling at you, Jack gives a small approving nod.
“Fine. Just don’t let him get lazy about treating you right. I’ll be watching.”
Jack becomes your unspoken protector after that. Big loyal wolf energy.

Epel Felmier
You mention “Vil” a little too affectionately during lunch and Epel spits out his juice.
“YOU’RE DATING VIL-SENPAI?!”
Everyone in the room turns to look. You cringe. “Epel, shhh—”
“LIKE… LIKE ACTUALLY DATING?! HIM?!”
You nod. “We’ve been keeping it quiet, but yeah…”
Epel’s jaw drops.
“He lets you TOUCH him?! Without a ten-step cleansing ritual first?!”
He’s genuinely floored. There’s a mix of shock, admiration, and disbelief in his eyes.
“Okay but… good for you, I guess? You must have magic-level of patience.”
He’ll never stop side eyeing you during self-care nights now, whispering:
“Blink twice if you’ve been force fed.”
Secretly though, he respects you immensely. Anyone who can tame Vil’s perfectionist side is a legend.

Sebek Zigvolt
You and Malleus try to be discreet, but Sebek’s too sharp. The second he catches you smiling at each other a little too long during dinner…
“…What is the meaning of this strange atmosphere?!”
You try to brush it off, but Malleus just calmly states:
“She is mine, Sebek. We are courting.”
Sebek’s brain breaks.
“YOU’RE WHAT?!?!”
Cue thunder and dramatic music playing in his head as he drops to one knee in despair.
“MALLEUS-SAMA HAS FOUND LOVE?! AND I DIDN’T KNOW?!”
He’s in full crisis mode. Rambles for ten minutes about how “he should’ve been notified by royal decree,” and how “no ordinary human could ever be worthy!!”
But when you squeeze his hand and call him “family,” he turns red and shouts:
“I SUPPOSE I SHALL… TOLERATE THIS!”
From that point on, he guards you like you’re also royalty
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Hope you guys liked it ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ
#disney twst#twst fanfic#twst x reader#twst#epel felmier#epel x reader#ace trappola#jack howl#deuce spade#leona kingsholar x reader#malleus x reader#sebek zigvolt#riddle x reader#malleus draconia#twst malleus#vil schoenheit#vil x reader#leona x reader
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Batboys and them having a crush on you:
Let me know what you guys think!!!
Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Hero Moments: Dick can’t resist showing off when you’re around. Whether it’s flipping through the air during a mission or effortlessly taking down a bad guy, he always glances your way to see if you’re watching. When you cheer him on, he gets all giddy. “Just doing my job,” he’ll say, but you can tell he loves the attention.
Jealous Vibes: If he spots you chatting with another guy, his friendly demeanor shifts. He’ll casually walk by, pretending to check his gear or adjust his mask, but you can see the twitch in his jaw. “Hey, you need help with that?” he’ll say, trying to insert himself into the conversation. He acts like he doesn’t care, but you know he’s dying to get your attention.
Awkward Compliments: Around you, Dick transforms from suave to stuttering mess. “You look… um, amazing! Not that you don’t always look amazing!” His cheeks go a shade of red, and he quickly looks away, pretending to be focused on something else. You can’t help but smile at his clumsiness.
Jason Todd (Red Hood)
Secret Stares: Jason tries to play it cool, but he often gets caught sneaking glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking. His friends are quick to tease him about it. “Dude, you’re not even trying to hide it!” they’ll laugh, making him scowl and deny it, but you can see a faint blush creeping up.
Tough Guy Act: He acts all tough, but when you crack a joke or tease him, he can’t help but smile. “Yeah, real funny,” he’ll say, but his eyes sparkle with amusement. He tries to keep his cool, but the way he lightens up around you is undeniable.
Protective Instincts: Jason’s protective side really comes out when you’re around. He’ll hover just a bit closer during missions, making sure you’re safe. “Stick close to me,” he’ll say, acting like it’s no big deal, but you can sense the underlying concern in his voice. He’s always ready to jump in if you need him.
Tim Drake (Robin)
Overthinking Everything: Tim’s mind is constantly racing when you’re around. He’s always plotting how to ask you out or impress you, but when it comes time to actually talk, he freezes. You catch him staring off into space, and when you ask what he’s thinking about, he panics. “Oh, uh, just… strategizing!” he’ll say, fumbling for a way to change the subject.
Thoughtful Gifts: Tim is secretly the best gift-giver. He leaves you little surprises—a book he knows you’ll love or a custom gadget he made just for you. When you find them, he pretends it’s no big deal. “I just thought you might like it,” he says, trying to act casual, but you can see the hope in his eyes for your reaction.
Nerding Out: When you express interest in his hobbies, Tim’s face lights up. He goes into full-on nerd mode, excitedly explaining tech or comics. “So, this is how it works…” He’s totally in his element, and you can’t help but be charmed by how passionate he is.
Damian Wayne (Robin)
Awkward Teasing: Damian’s idea of flirting is to poke fun at you. “You call that a punch?” he’ll smirk during training, but you can tell he’s impressed. His teasing is playful, and it makes you laugh, even if he acts like he’s being serious.
Jealousy Fits: If he sees you talking to someone else, he turns extremely protective. He’ll huff and challenge that person to a duel, trying to show off. “You think you can impress them? Let’s see what you’ve got,” he’ll say, clearly trying to establish his dominance.
Small Acts of Kindness: Despite his tough exterior, Damian has a soft side. He’ll bring you snacks or offer to help with training, and he tries to act like it’s no big deal. “It’s just efficient to help,” he’ll say, but you know it’s because he cares.
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