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jessikahathaway · 3 years

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Baby Talk - Part I

Hellooooo!

I've had this in my WIPs for a while and I wanted to get some of it out so that you all could enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you want more??? Tag lists are open for all of my ongoing fics so if you want to be added just let me know!

Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Medical Procedures, Assault (not descriptive), Profanity. If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 11.3k (Phew chill Jess~)

This wasn’t a big deal, you thought to yourself as you signed the paperwork in the clinic.

Just, you know, getting artificially inseminated for money. Nothing weird about that right?

Becoming a surrogate wasn’t something you’d planned on in your life, mainly sticking to your job and working towards a better tomorrow or whatever they say.

You were young, healthy and full of life.

The only thing you lacked, was a full bank account.

The realization hit a little harder than you thought it would. Being a receptionist wasn’t exactly what you’d had planned for your life but, it was simple work and it made you happy.

Going to college wasn’t really ever an option for you anyways. Your parents had died in an accident when you were little, forcing you to go live with your Great Aunt until you turned eighteen. She hadn’t forced you out, but you did leave. Wanting the adventures that life had to offer.

However, you quickly realized that it wasn’t easy pickings out in the world. That’s when the notice came to the door of your apartment that you either paid your late rent in full by the date or you could get your ass out.

Fear trickled down your spine at the thought of being homeless. You briefly thought of going back to your Aunts but, she lived out in the country and the city is where you’d made your home. As much as you cared about her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

That’s when your friend Namjoon and his husband Jim invited you over for dinner.

You were beyond excited, because these two had just had their baby girl Annie.

They had used the local fertility clinic to get a surrogate and had their baby just a month prior. You had been dying to meet the little bundle ever since you heard the news they were having a baby.

God, that kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

Quickly, you had gone over and enjoyed a nice meal with the three of them. Annie still partaking in formula.

You had tried to make conversation, but your eyes kept wandering to Annie and her little hands and feet. You felt a slight clench in your chest at the sight of her round face and sweet eyes.

“Earth to Y/N? You doing alright?” Namjoon’s voice echoed through their lovely, luxe apartment.

“Y-Yeah! Fine, I’m fine,” you smiled.

“You sure?” Jin asked, getting up to take his and Namjoon’s plates to the kitchen.

“Mhmm,” you said, eyes glancing back over at the baby.

“You’re so whipped, Annie has claimed yet another victim,” Namjoon snickered, looking at the blissful gaze your eyes had taken.

“You ever want kids, Y/N?” Jin asked, coming back in with dessert for each of you.

“I guess so, I mean. Just gotta find someone to make the baby with,” you joked half heartedly.

It was no secret among your friends that you were the black sheep. Not dating, not even entertaining the notion of having a significant other. The idea was, honestly, draining.

“Don’t feel like you have to be married to have a kid, Y/N. Single parenthood is just as valid as a couple,” Jin reminded.

“I’m nowhere near financially stable enough to pop out a kid right now,” you sighed.

“No? I thought the job at the hotel was treating you well,” Namjoon said.

“Yes and no, they treat me well. But pay me next to shit... I-I gotta make some quick cash, or I’m gonna be homeless,” you whispered.

“What?!?” The two men shouted, looking at you with heartbreak in their eyes.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling! We could’ve done something!” Jin says, rubbing his face with frustration.

“No-No! It’s fine, I’ll figure it out! I always do,” you encouraged, trying to keep the fear out of your eyes.

“How far behind on rent are you?” Namjoon asked.

“A little under six grand,” you sighed.

“Y/N!” Your two friends looked distraught.

“I don’t understand how a society can function like this, I hate it,” Namjoon said, looking down at his dessert he no longer wanted.

Annie started fussing, kicking her feet and wanting attention.

Jin sighed and got up, taking his beautiful daughter with him. You and Namjoon sat in cold silence for a while. Neither of you willing to talk to the other.

You were too proud for your own good. Even if it meant crashing and burning, you’d do that before you took anyone’s pity.

“How can we help?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with so much worry.

“I really don’t know Joon, there’s no where that’ll give me that kinda money with my credit and... even if they did I couldn’t pay it back anyways,” you sighed.

“Have you thought about going to school for something? Maybe you can get a degree and, I don’t know I’m pulling at straws here,” he said.

“I can’t go to school Joon, with what money? And even worse, I wouldn’t know what to go into,” you said, swallowing down some more wine.

“I wish we could’ve had you surrogate for us. We paid that woman a small fortune. Had I known you were struggling I would, maybe you could’ve done it instead,” he said quietly.

“How much did you pay her?” You asked.

“Around $80,000,” he said, shrugging.

You choked.

“Damn you filthy rich kids,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s it!” Namjoon said.

“Huh?” You asked, looking at him in confusion and despair.

“You can’t be our surrogate, but you could be someone else’s!”

Your body ran cold at the thought.

“I-I don’t know if I could do that Joon,” you said.

“Doesn’t your family have a high chance of twins?” He said, looking at you with a smile.

“I mean, yes but-”

“Say no more. I know a couple that’s been dreaming of a baby. They actually were supposed to meet the woman who wound up being our surrogate. But she decided to go with us. Jimin and Jungkook, they’re really good people Y/N,” Namjoon said, smiling.

“Namjoon, I don’t know if I can have a stranger’s baby!”

“I mean I won’t force you to sign up or anything. But Jungkook and Jimin are really good guys who have been waiting forever to have a baby. They said they wanted twins but, most importantly they wanted a healthy child. How sweet is that!”

You worried your lower lip with your teeth. This was just ridiculous. There’s no way you’d be able to do it. No way.

“Let me show you a picture of them!” Namjoon said, pulling out his phone.

“Joon really-”

Although, before you could argue anymore, you saw their faces.

A smaller, blond man. Whose smile was brighter than any star. And a taller, lean brunette who looked at the camera with a goofy grin.

“Jimin is the blond, Jungkook is the brunette,” Namjoon explained.

“Okay?” You said, trying to calm your racing heart.

They were both handsome. Deathly so, it made your stomach clench in a weird way to look at them. You wondered what kind of babies they would make. If they had that smile Jimin was packing, no one would be safe. That child would get whatever it wanted.

“I’m just saying, it doesn't have to be them but they’ve wanted a baby for so long and... you could help them with that and get a lump sum of cash on the side. Bad a bing bad a boom! No worries!”

It wasn’t such a hard decision in the end.

You needed the money.

So walking into the clinic had this weird sense of finality to it.

The receptionist looked at you with a smile.

“Hello dear, how can I help you?” She said.

“I-uh, wanted to sign up to be a potential surrogate?” You said, wringing your hands together.

“Of course! Did you bring your medical records and things of the like?”

You nodded quickly, handing over the required paperwork. She clicked away on her keyboard and got you all signed up and ready to go. Soon, you were getting your preliminary check up to see if you were able to have children.

Although your period had some irregularities in the past, the doctor’s said it was probably due to stress and the balancing out of hormones. But it would all work out, you were healthy and fertile!

You managed to tell Namjoon that you signed up without him having a full blown heart attack.

“How long until you need to be out of the apartment?” He asked, sipping his coffee.

“I need to be out in three weeks,” you said softly.

“Well shit you’re kinda on a time crunch there sweets, but don’t worry, you can do it! I’ll let Jimin and Jungkook know that you signed up, they’ll want to meet you. I know it,” he said.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I don’t care who I surrogate for, as long as it’s soon,” you said, trying to keep your heart rate under control.

“Okay, but Y/N, I’m telling you. They’d be the perfect fit for you!” He said.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The days to come would be challenging no doubt.

—

You were rather popular at the fertility clinic it seemed, because you’d had three meetings already.

One was a couple that had been trying for years and it just wasn’t happening so they were resorting to a different method. Although for this one they wanted to do an egg implantation. You weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Another was an older couple who looked like they were just planning on having kids but their own clocks ran out.

But finally, you got one more call from the clinic.

“Miss Y/N, you’ve got another request for a meeting,” the receptionist on the other line said.

“Oh? With whom?” You asked.

“A Mr. Park Jimin and a Mr. Jeon Jungkook, they asked for you personally,” she said, tone light.

You almost spit out your drink.

Th-They had asked for you?

The fertility clinic was big, a huge database of surrogates and people willing to conceive for the right price.

But they had asked to meet you.

Personally.

“Miss Y/N? Still there?” The receptionist asked, sounding far away from you.

“Yes! Yes I’m here,” you said, coughing.

“Wonderful, they said if you were willing they’d like to treat you to a meal, of course I can’t give out your contact information without consent from you but if you’re willing to meet with them we can arrange this.”

You heard yourself agree before even thinking about it.

Soon, you were on your way to the higher end of town. Heading towards a good Korean Barbeque place that was notorious for having the best meat in town.

Walking in you looked around, noticing how luxurious the place was. It made you feel a little out of place to be honest. But, not letting that get to you the host came up and asked for your name.

“Miss Y/N, ah yes. You’re with the Jeon party, lovely. Come right this way,” he said, taking you back into the bowels of the beast it seemed.

Winding through tables and chairs you found yourself in front of a private room. You didn’t want to think about how much this cost, so you simply just let your mind wander to other fun topics.

Such as the fact that you were potentially meeting your surrogate partners.

“Mr. Jeon? Mr. Park? A Miss Y/N is here for you,” the host said, through the door.

“Let her in,” a higher pitched male voice said.

You bit your lip and waited as the door opened. You looked inside and saw a beautiful wooden table, laid out with the finest meats and other various types of noodles and food. Then, there was the other feast, one for your eyes.

Park Jimin was a smaller man, but so incredibly handsome it made your head swirl. His soft blond hair tucked under a beanie as he looked up at you with what could only be called wonder. He looked at you gently, a small smile making its way to his lips.

Jeon Jungkook was a different story. Lean but cut, tiny waist accentuated by his pants. His arms were strong looking and one was covered in tattoos. His hair was pulled away from his face in a precious man bun that made your heart stutter. His eyes were big and glassy, looking at you. As if breathing you in.

“Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m Y/N.”

“We know,” Jimin said with a gentle smile.

“Come, sit down,” Jungkook said, moving a chair out for you to sit.

“Okay,” you agreed, moving to sit down.

“Get whatever you want,” Jimin encouraged, handing you the menu politely.

“Thank you,” you blushed, trying to not faint with his eyes on you like that.

Ordering a few things for yourself the three of you sat there with awkward silence filling the space. Jungkook wouldn’t really look at you and Jimin seemed like he was too nervous to start.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “How long have you two been together?” You asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Five years,” Jungkook said, placing his hand over his glass.

“Oh wow, congratulations,” you said, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“Thank you,” Jimin breathed.

“Our friend Namjoon said you were kind of in a tight spot and needed some help financially, is this true?” Jungkook asked, finally glancing your way.

“Y-Yeah, I wish he wouldn’t just tell other people that but, no sense in denying the truth. I’m almost six grand behind on rent,” you sighed, rubbing your face.

Both of their faces fell, looking at each other in worry.

“It-It’s okay though! I’ll be okay, I always am,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N, I would be scared shitless if I were you,” Jungkook said, taking slow drinks from his glass.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to avoid the stinging in your eyes.

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asked, trying to keep the conversation from turning to dark.

“I’m a receptionist at the local hotel. It’s not much, but I really like it,” you said, a grin taking place on your face.

“Hey, if you like it then that means something,” Jimin encouraged.

“So, you two want to have a baby?” You said, trying to get down to the topic at hand.

“Yes, more than anything,” Jimin said, a wistful look crossing his face.

“That’s amazing, to love each other that much and want to build a family is... Super important,” you said, meaning every word.

“What does your family do, Y/N? Do they live here in the city?”

You awkwardly rubbed your hands together.

“Um, my Great Aunt lives out in the country. But, my parents and most of my other relatives have passed on,” you said, trying to hide the emotion that came up.

“Oh, so sorry for your loss,” Jungkook said, face pinching.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” you whispered.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Jimin argued.

“You’re right, but, it’s okay,” you said.

“So, you have a high chance for twins,” Jungkook said, looking at some papers you didn’t notice were on the table.

“Yes, my mother was a twin. It runs way back in my family,” you said.

“Jimin has a good chance of having twins as well,” Jungkook said, gesturing to his loving partner.

“I do I do,” he said with a grin.

“Do you two want a set of twins?” You asked.

“It’s preferred but not necessary. As long as we get a baby, that’s all that matters,” Jungkook said.

Soon, the food was delivered and Jungkook and Jimin insisted on cooking the food for you. Something about not stressing you out too much.

After a full meal, you leaned back and let your head fall comfortably. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance at each other.

‘She’s the one,’ Jimin mouthed.

Jungkook smiled and nodded back.

“Thank you for the meal, I really do appreciate it. I haven’t eaten like that in months,” you said.

“Well, if you want to have our baby, we would gladly provide you with all the food you could want,” Jimin said.

“T-That’s alright, it wouldn’t be necessary-”

“Yes it would, Y/N. If you carry our child that means we’re responsible for you, everything you need or want will be yours. We swear,” Jungkook said.

“Right,” you swallowed thickly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jimin asked.

“I-I’ve never really been one for dependence on other people. You know? I like to do things myself if I can,” you said.

“Well, we wouldn’t force you to do anything of course but, if you did want or need anything, we would be more than happy to provide you with it,” Jungkook said.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” you said.

“You’d be carrying our child,” Jimin said as if it were obvious.

“Of course,” you said softly.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this then don’t feel pressured. Don’t let money be an object in what you want to do with your life. It’s not healthy,” Jimin said.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Well, I think it’s time to get going. I know you’ve met with other couples that have no doubt tried to convince you they’re the best option but... I really hope you chose us Y/N. You’d be the perfect surrogate for us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with a softened gaze.

And you knew it too.

You knew they were the couple you wanted to surrogate for, even if it cost you everything. You knew they deserved it. Not that any of the other families you had spoken to didn’t, but, they were the ones for you.

Your fertile window and ovulation were coming up so you had to make a choice and soon.

You’d met with the doctors at the clinic and they said that they were just waiting on you. Whomever you picked would have a meeting with you before the insemination on the rules and what you would have to do in regards to taking care of yourself. And then the money would be yours in full.

Calling the clinic you told them your answer.

“I would like to surrogate for Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park,” you said.

“Alrighty, I will give them a call and set up the appointment for them to get their end of the deal all set up and then we can get you all ready to go!” The receptionist said.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you said before hanging up.

Namjoon and Jin invited you over wanting to hear the news of everything going on with you.

And you couldn’t wait to see Annie again.

“Aw, you’re getting so big!” You said as you were greeted by Annie’s face in Jin’s arms.

“Yes she is!” Jin agreed. The cooing baby leaned forward, moving to capture your hair in her little fist.

You laughed and took her from Jin easily, he didn’t fight you and let you have your time with her. Rocking and bouncing her on your hip while the pair of them talked in the dining room.

Soon, a knocking came to the door.

Confusion swept over you, but regardless, you went to answer the door anyways.

Annie still on your hip, you opened the door to reveal Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, your new surrogate partners.

Frozen in shock the two of them looked at you as if they were equally confused.

You wondered if the clinic had told them you picked them yet. You had just gotten off the phone with them today, so you weren’t. Jungkook’s face went to you to Annie and then back to you.

“H-Hi?” You whispered.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Came to have dinner with Jinnie and Joon, and Annie of course,” you smiled, raising the little one up on your hip more.

“Oh, did you know we were coming?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I had no idea,” you said.

“Ah! Are those the boys?” Jin’s voice echoed throughout the hall.

“Yes!” You yelled back.

“Let them in Y/N! We invited them over too!” Namjoon said.

“Please come in,” you said, moving out of their way as the couple greeted Jin and Namjoon fondly.

It appeared as though there were no hard feelings in regards to them getting a surrogate they wanted. But, you could see Jungkook’s longing on his face when he looked at Annie in your arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Jimin said, looking down at Annie as you rocked her to sleep.

“Mhmm, gorgeous. She’ll be stealing hearts just like her dads,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin said, keeping his eyes trained on the little one in your arms.

“Did you make your decision yet? It said on your profile that your ovulation window was coming up and I was just curious,” he said quietly.

“I did,” you said.

Jimin’s face fell.

“I see,” he swallowed.

“Jimin-”

“Alright you two, paws off the baby, my turn!” Namjoon said, walking in.

You handed the sleeping baby over without a fuss before you and Jimin both walked out into the living room. Jimin whispered something to Jungkook and his face dropped. But you couldn’t find the words in your mouth. You wanted to tell them you picked them. You moved to talk to them when you felt Jin’s presence behind you.

“Y/N? You alright?” Jin asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

It was getting later, and you were feeling sleepy from all the food you’d eaten during the night.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at your sleepy form and their hearts broke all over again.

“I can’t believe she didn’t pick us,” Jungkook said, face betraying how he felt.

“Babe, you can’t force her. I-I thought we had a good chance but,” Jimin sighed.

“I don’t want to keep looking for a surrogate if this is going to happen every time,” Jungkook said, pain coming through in his voice.

“Jungkook you know how badly I want this too right? It’s not just you hurting here,” Jimin said.

“We’ve been trying for two years to find a surrogate and when we find one we want, they always pick someone else. Why? Are we that undesirable? I don’t understand,” Jungkook sighed.

“It’s not that,” Jimin whispered. “Maybe it’s just not our turn yet.”

“When is it gonna be our turn, huh?” Jungkook said. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“We can’t give up,” Jimin said softly. “I don’t want to give up yet.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s cheek softly.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest. These poor men were really hurting for a baby. A family to call their own.

Sitting up Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in fear.

“Y/N? Y-You were awake-oh God I’m so sorry you had to hear that-” Jimin said frantically.

“I picked you two,” you said.

Their eyes shot up to meet yours.

Jungkook’s were glossy from unshed tears and Jimin’s were widening by the second.

“You what?”

“I said I picked you two. I want to surrogate for you two,” you explained.

“But-in the nursery you said-” Jimin started.

“I said I had picked someone, I didn’t say who silly,” you smiled.

“Oh thank you Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming over to hold your hand in his.

“You don’t know what this means to us,” Jimin said.

“I know you two want this baby more than anything, I want to give it to you. Honestly, you two have waited long enough,” you said, heart stammering at the look of hope in their eyes.

“You’re perfect Y/N! Seriously!” Jimin cried, holding onto Jungkook for dear life.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet. I’m supposed to go in for the, you know, business end of it on Monday. They said they’d call you tomorrow. I just gave my answer today,” you told them.

“Okay, alright sounds good,” Jungkook said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“You gonna be okay?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

“Of course, more than okay.”

—

Monday creeped up on you quickly, faster than you thought.

You went to the clinic and sat down, getting signed in and everything before you saw Jungkook and Jimin waltz in looking like a million bucks.

Dressed head to toe in designer clothing, you realized you didn’t know what they did for a living. You hadn’t really looked at their profiles all that much. But you knew their baby would have everything they could ever want and more.

Smiling at them and waving, the two of them made their way over to you.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair next to you.

“Just waiting,” you said, looking at the pair of them together.

They looked like the traditional power couple. Strong, dependable and handsome to boot. It was kind of overwhelming.

Jungkook was wringing his hands together, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

“You alright Jungkook?”

“Yeah just-”

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park and Miss Y/N? The legal assistant will see you now,” a voice from the corner called.

“Let’s go,” you said, standing up and heading towards the back room.

You sat down and the rules of the road were laid out.

If you signed the contract Jimin and Jungkook were the parents of the child. You had no rights unless they said otherwise. You would be given a lump sum of money, transferred into your bank account the day they know you’re pregnant and expecting. If anything happens to the baby such as a miscarriage or something of the like that you had no control over, you would be able to keep the money. But, they would like to try again to see if the next one stuck better.

“So, if you conceive twins, which your likelihood is good, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park have agreed to pay you double,” you almost choked on your drink.

Double?

“What?” You squeaked out.

“It’s written right here,” the legal assistant said, pointing to the document in her hands.

“Okay,” you said softly, not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable.

“The total of your payment will come to $153,000 dollars,” the legal assistant said. “If you conceive twins.”

Your head swirled.

What would you do with all that money? Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with worry.

“I-Is it not enough? We can give you more if you want-”

“No! No no, that is totally acceptable. More than,” you said.

“Okay, just making sure,” Jimin answered.

“If you would please initial here, Miss Y/N. And then a signature here at the bottom and then you two will also need to sign as well,” she said.

After all the paperwork was done your date for insemination was set.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at you as you walked out of the clinic.

“Hey! Y/N! Hold on,” Jungkook said, walking forward.

“Huh? What is it?” You asked turning around.

Jungkook’s bright eyes blinded you as he gazed into your own. But you kept your breathing steady as you could.

“Do you want a ride home? Jimin and I cleared our schedules so we could be here today, and... Well we don’t want you to get hurt or anything,” he said, pointing to the black suburban.

“Oh, it’s alright I was gonna go to the bookstore and get a few things and then head home but I’ll be fine, no worries,” you smiled.

“We insist, Y/N,” Jimin said, walking forward to take his partner’s hand.

“Um, well... It’s really not that far, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said.

“Well, if you’re really sure,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you two on Thursday right? That’s when I’m supposed to... Well, you know,” your said, looking down at your feet.

“Of course! If you want us to be there that is,” Jimin said.

“Yes, it’s your baby,” you said.

“Okay, we’ll see you Thursday then,” Jungkook agreed, waving at you before he and Jimin got into the suburban and left.

But you couldn’t help the feeling you had as you watched them drive away.

Sadness.

—

You walked into the clinic Thursday morning, sweat pooling in your palms. You were reaching the end of your wire at your apartment. And you weren’t going to get the money in time. You were worried and didn’t want to bother Namjoon and Jin... So you just kept it to yourself.

You felt the fear and worry eating you up inside as you sat in the waiting room.

The doctor called your name and you headed back towards the room, when someone shouted your name.

Jimin and Jungkook were there, smiling brightly at you.

Your heart eased at seeing the two men, so happy and radiant. Everything you weren’t currently. But, knowing you were giving them something so important really made you feel better. Even if it was just for the time being.

“Oh my gosh, we’re finally getting a baby!” Jimin squeaked.

“Easy, it’s probably not going to happen first try,” you reminded him of what the doctor said.

“Bet I could get you pregnant in one shot,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh shush Kook. But if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t get those twins you want so badly now would you, butthead,” Jimin said, shoving the younger man around slightly.

You tried to keep yourself from blushing but the redness that twinged your cheeks was there regardless. You were here to get pregnant, that was the end goal of today.

“Alright, Miss Y/N, we’re going to take you back and get you all set and then Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon have said they wanted to take you home after. Is that alright with you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you said.

“Okay, let’s head back then,” Jungkook gave you a gentle smile before Jimin came forward and gave your knuckles a quick kiss.

“Good luck, Y/N,” he said.

“Thanks,” you answered before heading back.

The whole process took around a hour and a half, most of it waiting.

The sensation wasn’t too bad, but you were a little uncomfortable. Everything was super sterile and not how you expected you’d get pregnant, but... It wasn’t your baby at the end of the day. You tried not to wiggle as you laid there, letting Jimin’s seed try to impregnate you.

Finally, the timer went off and you were allowed to leave to go home.

Jimin and Jungkook were sat in the waiting room, chatting with each other excitedly. You knew that this was it, that they were more than perfect for this baby. You were beyond happy you could give it to them.

“Y/N!” Jimin said, walking up to greet you.

“Hey,” you said easily, noticing Jungkook come up behind him.

“We’re here to take you home!” Jimin smiled.

“Thanks guys,” you said softly.

“We brought the car around already so you don’t have to walk too much. Don’t wanna spoil all our hard work,” Jimin said, looking at your tummy with affection.

“Like I said Jimin, it probably won’t happen this time. But you never know, you might have some strong swimmers,” you joked.

“You have no idea, Y/N,” he said, gazing into your eyes for a moment.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked like an angel wrapped in sin, as if he were so good yet so bad for you. It made your head spin.

Jungkook held the car door open for you and you got in carefully. Jimin sat in the back with you while Jungkook sat up front.

Of course these two had a driver...

Jimin was looking out the window and noticed that they were getting into the sketchier part of town. His worry was eating him alive. He didn’t want the mother of his child staying here! That simply wouldn’t do.

You got out of the car, heading towards your apartment when the landlord approached you. Jungkook and Jimin were still getting out of the car when he exploded at you.

“There’s the little bitch now!” He growled, grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully.

You yelped, trying not to move so much. It only made it hurt more.

“Let me go!” You said.

“You filthy cunt, you owe me almost six thousand dollars! And you dare to come back here without anything? Huh? Nothing? Where have you been huh? Selling your body to make some cash I bet, that’s what little whore’s like you do right? Fucking pathetic,” he spits at you.

“I-I just need a little more time-” a resounding smack is heard through the parking lot.

Jimin and Jungkook look up to see your head turned sharply to the side and a man gripping your wrist.

Both of the men flew off the handle.

“Let go of her you fucker!” Jungkook yelled, walking forward with purpose.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Jimin growled, pulling you away from the man.

“Did you fucking hit her?” Jungkook said, looking at your reddened cheek.

“Bitch owes me money, she knows that-”

“Fucker!” Jungkook snarled, grabbing the man by his shirt and lifting him.

“Y/N? Sweetie can you hear me?” Jimin whispered. Your head was swimming with pain and discomfort. Your cheek was screaming at you. But what hurt worse was the embarrassment. They saw it all, that you couldn’t take care of yourself. How on earth were you going to take care of a baby if you got pregnant for nine months? Huh?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, he hurt you. Jungkook put him down and call the cops,” Jimin said.

“I owe him money, I just-”

“You can’t arrest me! You fuckheads, do you know who I am?” He asked.

“Do you know who we are? Hi I’m Jeon Jungkook, heir to the Jeon Law Firm here in the city. You might have heard of us, and she is the mother of my future child and you won’t be putting your hands on her ever again,” Jungkook said.

“I just wanna leave, I don’t... I don’t wanna be here,” you whimpered.

“But Y/N,” Jimin said.

“Can we leave? Please?” You begged, looking up at him with a swollen cheek and glossy eyes. Jimin’s heart broke five times over, seeing you so upset.

“Jungkook, come on. Let’s go,” Jimin said.

“And leave her with this fucking piece of shit? I think not, no we’re going to-Y/N? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, coming forward and looking at your face with a tenderness you didn’t know was there.

“We’ll take her home with us,” Jimin said easily.

“Okay, yeah. But we’re calling the cops on that dickbag when we get back. I want him arrested for hurting her,” Jungkook said with finality.

“Of course baby,” Jimin said, soothing the younger male.

“Can we just go?” You asked, looking up at them for a moment.

“Yes, of course we can, let’s get you in the car and go back to our place,” Jungkook said, coming forward and getting into the back seat this time. Jimin encouraged you to get inside, so you did, him following shortly thereafter.

“Take us home please,” Jungkook said, shutting the little window between the front of the car and the back.

You sat between the two men, each of them looking out the window and appearing to be deep in thought. You were as well. You hoped this didn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant. You don’t know what you’d do if you couldn’t get this baby. The prospect of so much money on the line, you very future.

Also, you worried for Jungkook and Jimin. You really wanted this to work for their sake too.

They’d been waiting so long.

You were swallowed into the dreamscape of your thoughts. Nothing really getting in or out of your mind. You were just reeling at everything that had happened in less than four hours. You had your first attempt at insemination, went home and got assaulted and now you were heading to the upper end of the city with the two men who wanted you to have a baby for them.

This was all so much to handle.

Finally, the car stopped moving and Jimin quickly ushered you out of the vehicle. You stood there and looked up at the stunning building with a weird sense of fear. It loomed over you, almost intimidatingly so.

Jimin told the driver to go park the car and take the rest of the day off while Jungkook gathered their things from the back. You looked around and noticed that people were staring at you.

No doubt you looked like a sore pink thumb right now. Tear stained and swollen cheeks making you look even more outlandish in the area. But, Jungkook quickly moved everyone inside.

The door man asked who you were and Jimin and Jungkook simply told the truth.

“She’s our surrogate, we’re having her stay with us for a while. If she needs anything, make sure she gets it!” Jimin said.

“Absolutely Mr. Park,” the doorman said.

“Come on Y/N,” Jungkook said, heading towards the elevator.

You followed behind them quickly, getting in the mirrored elevator. Looking at yourself you felt all the anxiety and fear come back. You didn’t belong here, you were wearing a pair of fucked up jeans, a flannel and t-shirt. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, dipped in the finest silks and satins.

You looked like a charity case no doubt.

It made your stomach churn in discomfort. But you kept your mouth shut. You were providing them with a service. And in turn they were paying you. It was a give and take situation. But you couldn’t help but feel as though you were taking more than you were giving.

Jungkook held the door while you and Jimin entered the house. You looked around and the apartment was massive. Bigger than your Aunt’s tiny house in the country. You wondered just how much money these two had.

Soon, Jimin was sitting you down on the couch and tending to your cheek. His heart crumpled when you flinched at his touch. He tried not to take it personally, you were literally just assaulted. But he hoped you weren’t scared of him, or Jungkook.

“Should I call the doctor?” Jungkook asked, coming in and sitting next to Jimin.

“No, she’s just a little swollen, she’ll be alright,” Jimin said, handing you the painkillers and some ice.

“Can she have that?” Jungkook asked, referring to the pain medicine.

“It’s acetaminophen she can have it,” Jimin confirmed.

“Okay,” he said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked, looking at you for any signs of discomfort.

“Not particularly, but I should eat. Especially today,” you said, a weak smile on your face. Jimin nodded, but headed towards the kitchen regardless.

Soon after, a wonderful aroma filled the apartment. But you hadn’t moved from the couch, keeping your eyes trained on the TV Jimin turned on for you. You didn’t particularly want to watch the news, but you weren’t sure on how to work this TV. It made your brain hurt. But, whatever, you kept your eyes on the screen, not looking anywhere in particular.

Jimin soon came out, wearing a smile that must be a signature for him or something. He told you dinner was ready and to follow him. Turning off the TV with a swipe of his finger on the screen you marveled at the technology.

He patted your cheek and brought you into the dining room.

Jungkook was finishing putting the food out when you sat down. He and Jimin were deep in conversation. You picked at your food, eating a few pieces if Jimin put them on your plate. But other than that, you sat unmoving in the corner.

You supposed you were still in shock of what had happened today.

Soon, you felt the distinct cramping in your lower stomach, something you were told is to be expected. Especially if the pregnancy took. Letting out a puff of air, you held your stomach. It wasn’t terrible, but the discomfort had you adjusting in your seat.

Jungkook’s head snapped in your direction, carefully observing you.

“Everything alright? Y/N?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in a cute way.

Forcing a smile you nodded.

“Yeah, just cramping a little bit,” you said, keeping your hands together underneath the table.

“Is it bad?” Jungkook asked, leaning towards you.

“No-ah!” You said, clutching your stomach. It didn’t hurt as much as it caught you off guard. But the two men were beside you in seconds.

“Y/N? Do you want us to call the doctor?”

“Is there something we can get for you? Do you want more pain medicine?”

“N-No, honestly, I’m okay,” you said, giving them each a squeeze to their wrist.

Jimin nodded, standing up and moved to start cleaning up the meal. Jungkook placed a couple more pieces of meat on your plate, asking you to eat them. He thought it could help your cramping, but he mainly just wanted to see you eat something.

Soon, the pair of them had cleaned up the meal and had gathered some clothes for you to wear to bed.

“We’ll pick up some stuff for you to wear tomorrow,” Jungkook said smiling.

“N-No that’s alright I can go back and get my stuff,” you said.

“You’re not going anywhere near that building,” Jimin warned, voice low.

“What? I have to get my stuff-”

“We’ll have someone go collect your things and bring them back here,” Jimin said, careful.

“I can go it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/N, please, just let us take care of this,” Jungkook said, quietly coming over to your side.

You were far too tired to argue. But you already felt like a cat in a cage. So you waved off the disagreement and decided to just head to bed.

The cramping was still there, but not nearly as bad as it had been when you were at the table. Laying down helped, but you felt something in your underwear.

Quickly, you went to the bathroom and noticed some blood in your underwear. Biting your lip, you tried to keep yourself from panicking. Putting them back on you went to living room and found Jimin sitting on the couch, looking tired.

“J-Jimin,” you said quietly.

His head snapped up and he gave you a little smile.

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked, coming towards you. You sighed and ran your hands through your hair.

“I-I was bleeding,” you said, voice straining slightly.

“You were? Where?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“M-My, uh, I found it in my underwear,” you said, breathing in deeply.

“Was it a lot?” He asked, keeping a cool exterior.

“N-No, not a lot but it worried me,” you said, trying to keep yourself from freaking out on him.

“It’s normal to spot a little after the IUI, don’t worry. But tell me if anymore happens. They did just shove a tube up your business,” he said, laughing lightly.

Immediately you were put at ease. Sensing your relief, Jimin patted your shoulder.

“It’s okay to be nervous, we are,” Jimin said, nodding towards the closed door you assumed was to their bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m-I just really want this to work,” you confessed, feeling yourself relax a bit.

“We do too, more than anything,” Jimin answered, giving you a genuine grin.

“I’m glad that the baby will have you two as parents, makes me feel good knowing that they’ll be taken care of,” you smiled back.

Jimin’s face seemed to morph into a look of joy and agony at the same time.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N, honestly. Jungkook and I are beyond excited,” he explained.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” You asked him, out of the blue. Jimin blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Y-Yeah, ever since I was little I always wanted a family to call my own. And when I met Jungkook I knew it was just meant to be you know? Like, everything just made sense,” he said, a sheepish look taking over his features.

“That’s so sweet,” you gushed.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged.

“I want someone to look at me the way you look at Jungkook, like I’m their whole world and more. I’ve never been one for dating though,” you said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed.

“No? How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?” Jimin asked, not thinking. When the shocked look took over your face he back peddled. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, that doesn’t deem your worth or anything like that-”

“None,” you said, blushing bright red.

Jimin’s face changed.

“Tell me if I’m out of line here, but have you ever, uh... You know, um,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh? Sex? Yeah, I’ve done it before, but it wasn’t really anything special. I don’t even think I-um... Nevermind,” you said, biting your lip hard.

“You don’t think you what? You didn’t cum?” Jimin said, as if he were shocked.

“No! Now keep your voice down!” You yelped.

Jimin frowned.

“That’s horrible, you deserve better,” Jimin said matter of factly.

“It happens, but, this conversation has gotten away from us,” you said, trying to steer it away from your pathetic sex life and more towards the fact that you both need to go to bed. “I’m tired, had a long day.” You said, rubbing your arms.

“Of course, absolutely! If you need anything or something happens, our room is right here just come get us,” Jimin said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said, turning, but not before you wished him a good night.

Jimin gave you a small smile. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

—

Soon your stuff was all moved into the boys apartment. You questioned when you would be leaving, but the boys said that you didn’t have to worry about departing for the foreseeable future.

They had originally wanted you to live with them if and when they found out you were pregnant, that way they could be there through it all. But, these stages after the insemination could be hard on you and they decided to keep you with them.

You felt like a little kid half the time, but you had to call in to work often because of these appointments. And quickly, they tired of it.

“Y/N, we love you and we want you to pick here to work, but honestly your attendance is a severe issue right now,” your supervisor said over the phone. You called in that day because you just were feeling super exhausted.

You hadn’t told them you’d signed up for a surrogacy. You weren’t sure how that would go over, but, maybe you had to if you wanted to save your job.

“I-I’m calling in all the time because I’m trying to get pregnant,” you said softly.

Laughter came from the other side of the phone.

You were being laughed at.

“Oh my God, Y/N, that’s hilarious! But seriously, I have to put you on a two week suspension without pay because-”

“Dawn, I'm serious. I signed up with the fertility clinic and I’m currently trying to become a surrogate for a lovely couple,” you said, honestly.

“Y/N, why did you sign up for that? As far as any of us knew, you weren’t that into kids,” Dawn said over the phone.

“I-I like kids, but the baby won’t be mine to keep. The couple gets to keep them once they are born. I lose all rights as a parent,” you explained.

“That’s kinda cruel... Let you carry the baby for nine months then force you to leave them. I don’t know if I could do that,” she said.

“I-It’s the way it is,” you said. “But I need to have the day off, I have an appointment at the clinic.”

“Y/N, would it be easier if we just let you quit?” Dawn said.

“What?!” You shrieked into the phone.

“Well, it’s a delicate time and we'd have you working on your feet for long hours. I don’t want anything to happen to you or your baby,” she said, sounding sad.

“But I don’t wanna leave you guys,” you whimpered.

“Well, once the little tike is born come back. We’ll hire you back, I promise. If you want to come back,” she offered.

“Y-You’ll really let me come back?” You said, biting your lip.

It would be nice to just focus on the pregnancy and helping Jungkook and Jimin. If you had the option, maybe it would be better to take her advice and go back when you were ready. Hopefully they don’t screw you over.

“Of course we will! We love you! But, right now isn’t the best time for you to be working. Focus on you and your little bundle okay? We’ll be waiting,” she said.

“Oh thank you Dawn! I love you guys too!”

After a little tears ‘see you later’, you hung up.

Soon, a soft knock came to your door. Looking up you saw Jungkook there, dressed to the nines looking at you. Raising a brow you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” You said, setting your phone down to give him your undivided attention.

“I was wondering if you needed a ride to work, you’re already an hour late,” he said, pointing to the clock on your wall.

“Oh, about that,” you said, rubbing your hands together.

“Did something happen? Did they fire you for being our surrogate? Oh just let me make one phone call, that’s illegal! I’m a lawyer, let me talk some sense into them!” Jungkook said, turning to walk out.

“No, Jungkook! It’s fine, they told me to take the time off. To spend time focusing on myself and to take care of the baby,” you explained. “My job will be there when I’m ready to return.”

Jungkook stopped and looked at you. His features softened before nodding.

“Okay, but if they try to tell you you can’t go back when you’re ready, you just tell me. I won’t let anyone disrespect or lie to you,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“Thanks Jungkook, that means a lot,” you said, giving a smile.

“There’s food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. You have the house to yourself so, do whatever you want,” Jungkook said, waving before walking out of your room.

You sat there for a minute, really mulling over what you wanted to do. Honestly, you were so sore and tired you just wanted to fall back asleep. But you decided that it was better to get up and do some activity. Hopefully that would be okay.

It had been about ten days since your IUI appointment and you were mainly just tired. Although fatigue was a symptom of an attachment. But that was the only symptom you were having, you were meant to test in a couple days to see if you were pregnant, but something had you worried.

If you weren’t pregnant, you’d have to wait a whole other month. They did tell you that sometimes it took multiple tries to successfully impregnate someone. But you really wanted this to work, you just wanted to get this going.

That way Jimin and Jungkook could have their baby already.

You knew they’d be amazing fathers, already with their dutiful actions towards you. So willing to do whatever you asked, but you tried your best not to pester them too much. You tried to make it as though you weren’t even there. But they insisted you join them for dinner so they could make sure you were eating well.

For your day you mainly just puttered around the house, picking up and doing little things that wouldn’t aggravate you. So, you settled down with a book in your hands and soft music playing in the background.

That’s how Jimin and Jungkook found you when they came home. Curled up on the couch with a novel between your fingers. Jimin smiled softly, looking at the picturesque scene.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” Jungkook asked, looking at his boyfriend with apprehension.

“I hope so,” Jimin answered.

“She’s really tired lately, sleeping late and going to bed early. That’s a sign, right?” Jungkook said.

“It is, but that’s also a sign of a woman’s period coming up,” Jimin warned.

“Damn...” Jungkook said, rubbing his face.

“But I don’t know, she’s due to test soon so, we might have our baby,” Jimin soothed.

You looked up from your book, noticing the pair in the entryway. Giving them a shy smile, you waved, nose getting buried back in the book. Jimin laughed lightly, heading towards the kitchen.

The two cooked dinner, making something easy to digest. Your stomach was on the fritz yesterday so they want to make sure they don’t upset your sensitive tummy. But, as Jimin looked out at you reading on the couch, a blanket draped along your lap. He couldn’t help but love the domesticity of it all. You looked at peace, in your element and comfortable.

Jimin hoped it would stay that way. With you, comfy and cared for.

Jungkook rushed past with the boiling soup in his hands, moving quick like a little kid to set the table for you all. Jimin just laughed, smacking his butt when he came back.

“Hey! Paws off,” Jungkook pouted.

“Hmm? That’s not what you were saying the other night,” Jimin laughed at the scandalized look on Jungkook’s face. “I’m kidding, come on go get Y/N so we can eat.”

Jungkook went to gather you from the living room and was met with an unusual sight. You passed out, wrapped in the blanket with your book on the floor.

He smiled, moving towards you slowly. He placed a soft hand on your head, patting your hair gently. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. Jungkook helped you up, leading you to the dining room.

The meal was quiet, Jungkook and Jimin making small talk with you, but mostly you were just eating peacefully.

You ate well and leaned back, as you tended to do when you were full and let out a huff. Jimin repressed the smile on his face with the back of his hand. Jungkook smiled openly, looking at your sleepy form.

Sitting back up you took a few more swallows of water before you stood up and thanked them for the meal and headed towards your room.

Jungkook and Jimin watched you go, each having a weird tightening in their chest at the sight of your swaying hips.

—

You had finally reached the two week mark.

Time to test.

Jimin and Jungkook went with you, driving you to the clinic for your appointment at the ass crack of dawn it felt like.

Jimin was chatting excitedly in the front seat with Jungkook. You could see the looks of love on their faces as they talked about their future with their child. It made butterflies rise in your stomach.

Quickly smacking your cheeks, you tried to forget the sensation of hope building in your belly.

Soon you were all at the clinic, Jimin helping you out of the car. The two men walked on either side of you, making sure everyone knew who you were here with. It made you feel protected, watched over.

Important.

After all the paperwork was done for the visit, Jungkook and Jimin sat down next to you. They interlocked their hands, smiling brightly at each other. You locked your hands together and looked down at them.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon? Are you all ready?” A nurse called and you all headed back to a secluded room, a few chairs and the like ready. You saw the needles and everything set up and you swallowed hard.

You hated needles, with a passion.

But you’d done it before, so you’d do it again.

“Y/N? You okay?” Jungkook asked, looking at your paling face.

“Y-yeah, nervous around needles,” you confessed.

“Oh, do you want some water or something?”

“No I’m okay,” you encouraged.

“If you’re sure,” Jungkook said, looking like he wanted to do more...

“Alright! We’re gonna take some blood and a urine sample, so if you two would just wait outside for a moment while we get her changed, then you can come back in if you want,” the nurse explained.

You got changed and hopped up on the table.

They asked a bunch of questions, all fairly standard. Then they brought out the needles. Jimin saw you flinch when the packaging came off and you saw the syringe come closer.

“Hang on,” Jimin said, standing up.

The nurse stopped and looked up in confusion, that’s when Jimin took your hand in his and squeezed.

“You can hold my hand while they take your blood okay? Just squeeze if you need to,” he said, looking at your face for any signs of resistance.

You bit your lip and nodded.

The nurse took your blood quickly, getting a few vials full. Jungkook watched as his boyfriend held your hand the whole time, keeping you calm and at ease.

He hoped with everything he was that this had worked.

God, he wanted it to work so bad.

Soon, the two men were being ushered out of the room so you could do your urine sample.

After everything was done and over with, you got dressed and went to the waiting room. Jimin and Jungkook stood up when they saw you, waving you over to sit with them.

All three of you waited with baited breath as they ran the tests. They kept asking if you wanted anything, water, juice or something to eat. But you politely declined. Knowing if you put anything in your body right now you’d puke it up immediately with how nervous you were for the results.

They said it shouldn’t take too long.

It had been about an hour when a nurse popped her head out, signaling for all three of you to come back.

“Dr. Heinz will see you now,” she said, giving you all a small smile before leading you down the hallway towards the offices.

Shortly, you were sat on a comfortable sofa with Jungkook and Jimin in front of you. Jungkook and Jimin were holding onto each other so tight you feared for their circulation. But, Dr. Heinz was quick to get to the point.

“Well, I want to say, congratulations, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park... Y/N is pregnant,” he said, talking like you weren’t in the room.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook shouted, standing up and hugging Jimin to him tightly. They kissed several times, tears falling freely down the new father’s faces. Dr. Heinz let them have their moment, smiling at the happy couple. You looked down at your stomach and bit your lip.

So this was really happening...

“Jungkook, I love you,” Jimin said, holding onto his boyfriend tightly.

“I love you too babe, I love you too,” Jungkook affirmed.

“Okay we do have to discuss her health however,” Dr. Heinz said, having the men sit down quickly.

“Is she alright?” Jimin said, looking at you with worry written all over his features.

“She’s at a very fragile point in the pregnancy. IUI can be tricky so we need to be very careful with what happens next. I don’t want her doing anything strenuous. Especially with the lower body until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Her uterus looked good on her preliminary but getting pregnant can really affect a woman’s body, so we need to take all the precautions,” Dr. Heinz explained.

“But is she going to be okay?” Jungkook asked, placing a gentle hand on yours.

You looked at his big hand covering yours, blinking slowly.

“I’m worried about her low white blood cell count. That makes her more susceptible to colds and infections, so you need to be very careful. Her red blood cell count was also low, showing early signs of anemia. So lots of red meat and protein to help keep her levels up. Although the anemia will be aggravated by the pregnancy, so make sure she doesn’t stand up too fast or tax herself too much,” he said.

“I am right here,” you said, glaring at the doctor.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, they’re the parents in this situation. I want them to be informed of your situation,” Dr. Heinz said bluntly.

“There are four of us in this room, I’ll remind you of that. Don’t talk like I’m not here please,” you said, folding your hands and crossing your legs.

Jimin almost burst out laughing.

Damn you were feisty!

He really liked that...

“I-I apologize, Miss Y/N,” he said, swallowing quickly before continuing on. “Also, you’re going to start having more symptoms than the fatigue you mentioned. Morning sickness is extremely common and expected, although every woman is different. Headaches, dizziness and blurred vision are also to be noted. Even some spotting can happen, but please do tell us if you’re spotting or bleeding. Now, do any of you have questions?” The doctor asked, looking at the boys and you.

“Is there any way to know if we are expecting, more than one?” Jimin asked, looking down at your stomach with pure adoration on his face.

“We won’t really know until she’s further along. Quite a bit further actually. But for now, enjoy this. Enjoy the early stages, it’ll be tough but you can pull through. I wish you all the best of luck,” Dr. Heinz said, handing some paperwork over to Jungkook before the three of you stood up and headed out.

Jimin and Jungkook were so excited, chatting with each other about if they were having twins. If the baby was a boy or girl. You were in the car, hands folded in your lap while you looked out the window.

Honestly, you were scared out of your mind.

The doctor had mentioned this was a really fragile part of the pregnancy. That you’d have to be careful, not to mention it was important for your own health as well. If something happened to the baby, something could happen to you and vice versa.

Jungkook insisted on taking everyone out for dinner.

This was a big occasion after all.

Sitting down in the very resturant you all had your first meal in, felt kinda surreal.

Now, you were pregnant with their baby. It felt kinda full circle.

Jimin and Jungkook insisted on getting whatever you wanted. But you weren’t terribly hungry yet, maybe it was the nerves of the whole day catching up. But you ordered a few things, making sure to eat. You knew it made them happy when you did, because it showed you cared about your body and the life growing inside of you.

Jungkook was drinking, a lot if you were being honest. Jimin just watched him as his cheeks flushed red as he continued to talk animatedly at the two of you. Smiling, you filled up Jungkook’s water before urging him to drink some.

“Thanks youuu,” he said, beaming at you.

“You’re welcome, but drink up okay?” You said, gesturing towards the glass.

He did as you asked, drinking all the water. You sighed in relief, knowing at least he’d be hydrated when he went to bed.

“Well, guess you aren’t driving you big lug,” Jimin laughed as he hauled Jungkook out of the restaurant a while later.

“Mmm, we’re having a baby baby!” Jungkook cooed at Jimin, holding his cheeks in between his hands.

“Mhmm, yes we are. Now get in the back with Y/N, okay?” Jimin said, opening the back and helping his very tipsy boyfriend inside. You were about to climb in when Jimin placed his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt so hard you smacked your head on the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you said, holding your head tightly.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelped. Jungkook’s head popped up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking at you with bleary eyes.

“I just smacked my head, I’m alright,” you said, rubbing your head gingerly.

“Can I take a look?” Jimin asked, biting his plump lips harshly.

“Y-yeah,” you said, leaning towards him.

Jimin’s gentle hands on your scalp proved to be dangerous. Because now, you wanted him to touch you here all the time. Combing his fingers through your hair. Massaging the tender flesh there.

“Well, you aren’t bleeding, but you’ll have a massive bump for a few days no doubt,” he reasoned.

“She’s gonna have a massive bump here soon too!” Jungkook cheered happily, pointing at your stomach.

“Jungkook, enough,” Jimin warned.

Grumbling to himself, Jungkook backed off.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimin asked. You nodded, already feeling the throbbing in the base of your skull starting.

“I’ll take a few pain killers when we get back,” you said.

“Okay,” Jimin said, running his hand from your head down to cradle your cheek in his palm. You’re cheeks heated up at the feeling of his skin on yours, but shortly he was retreating to the front of the car.

Soon, you were underway.

Jimin turned on the radio quietly, driving carefully around town.

Jungkook had managed to fall asleep against the window. When suddenly, the car was jerking to the side. Jimin laid on the horn, yelling a couple explicit words out the window. But, Jungkook’s body had already fallen into your lap.

His head rested comfortably against your thighs, arms draping across your legs. Jungkook continued to sleep peacefully while you inspected him. He had a beautiful nose, button like and slotting perfectly along with his already perfect features. His plush lips pouting as he slept. Your eyes widened at him, heart hammering in your chest as you gazed down at him.

He was incredibly handsome.

But, you knew his personality too. He was kind, but strong and sure of himself. He had an air of confidence that was almost infectious. But he also had a childish nature about him. Not immature, but there was something about the wonder in his eyes when he tried something new. Or the nostalgia that ran through him when he ate his favorite food or, just the sparkle in his eyes when Jimin came home.

You, as if possessed, took your hand and ran your fingers through his soft black hair. He groaned in his sleep, gripping your legs tighter. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, watching his face for any signs of discomfort.

Jimin looked in the rearview mirror and saw you stroking Jungkook’s head with a gentle hand. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest. You were so caring and tender, everything you did had purpose behind it.

Jimin felt relief flood him at the idea of you being the mother of he and Jungkook’s child. Technically just Jimin’s but Jungkook was also the father but he didn’t get any genetics in this one.

This one...

Did Jimin want to have more children?

You just got the announcement today and he was already giddy at the prospect of you growing large with his child. But confusion swept through him. Was this just because he was grateful to you? Or was it something more?

Looking at you and Jungkook in the back, he thinks he might already know the answer.

#ficswithluv #ksmutclub #BTS #BTS smut #Jikook x reader #Jikook #Bangtan #BTS fanfic #Jikook smut #Jikook x reader smut #Pregnancy au #Jimin x jungkook x reader #Surrogacy Au

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missnight0wl · 3 years

Note

Lmaoo JC must be so stressed about Hogwarts Legacy releasing this year because they know they'll lose so much of their player base and they're probably trying to do anything to keep people in their game

I honestly doubt they are, or at least they shouldn’t – because it’d be quite unreasonable.

Here’s the thing: HPHM and HPHL are two VERY different games. And they target a different audience. Sure, you can qualify them as Potterheads in general, but it’s really not that simple.

HPHM is a free mobile game. You can play it anytime, anywhere, even if you’re totally broke. I remember seeing people saying that they play it on their way to school or work etc. It’s just a quick and simple way to entertain yourself during the day, and I imagine quite a lot of people might find it appealing.

When it comes to HPHL, you’ll have to buy the game, first of all. I don’t know what the price is gonna be, but it doesn’t look cheap. I also don’t know about the technical requirements, but it doesn’t look like you’re gonna be able to play it on any computer or laptop. The gameplay will probably require investing more time as well, which not everyone will see as a plus.

Now, considering that many HPHM players are young people who probably don’t have their own income yet, do you really think that so many of them will go to their parents, demanding a new gaming PC because they want to play some HP game? Sure, some of them probably will. Some probably already have it. Some are adults and can afford whatever they desire. Still, I really wouldn’t say that Jam City is gonna lose “so much of their player base”. Even if some players will abandon HPHM entirely for HPHL, JC probably won’t even notice it, considering how much money they make on this title. There will also be people simply playing both games, for example.

Seriously, HPHL is no threat to HPHM. If anything, JC might be worried about HPMA since they’re both mobile games. But even here, I think they might appeal to different players, or people will keep playing both games again.

Either way, the biggest threat for HPHM right now is Jam City themselves. And that was kind of the point of my previous post. Because instead of taking advantage of their mobile format, they keep making the game more and more demanding. People complain about lagging for months now, and what JC does about it? And frankly, I’m really not sure if it has much to do with them being stressed by either of the games mentioned above. In my opinion, it seems to be their strategy for a long time now: distract with new things instead of fixing old ones. Even the Clubs felt like an unnecessary addition already. But “Oh!, it’s so new, and shiny, and we can use it to promote the game!”. They do the same thing with the characters, too, introducing new ones all the time, instead of fleshing out the old crew. Because why would they, right? New things make people talk, and that’s what JC wants.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #jam city #hogwarts legacy #ask #anonymous

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bakubitch-minusultra · 3 years

Text

Falling out of love... (Bakugo Katsuki)

K so here's some angsttttt before the kirishima phone seggs lmao anywho yee ive been wanting to write this for a while because ive had the idea in me brain for sooooo long but i finally did it eek

Tags -> @5sosfckss @laudthingcat <3

“Why are you still with him?”

“Well, he helps me.”

“Katsuki could you please for once help me out?!” You shouted from the laundry room as you kneeled down on the cold tile floor trying to fix the pipes that just won’t stop leaking. You groaned out of frustration when there was no response. “Can you please get your ass up and help me?!” Now that got his attention and you stood up, patiently waiting as his heavy footsteps grew closer and closer until he was standing in the doorway.

“Why can’t you do it by your fucking self?”

“I obviously can’t! That’s why I’m asking you!” Your face grew hot and there was a dull throb in the back of your head. You really didn’t want to have another argument over something so small. Bakugo rolled his eyes and muttered something about you being so dramatic before pushing past you to kneel down where you previously were.

“Go lay down or some shit I can’t concetrate with you in here.” You exhaled out of your nose, you were on the brink of tears and so you opted for leaving the house entirely. You wanted to let him have his space.

“Why are you still with him?”

“He says he loves me.”

“You never tell me you love me anymore,” you whispered. Your shared bedroom was quiet as Bakugo got ready for bed. You laid down, watching him as he took his shirt off and tossed it to the side. He said nothing, looking at his phone as he made his way to the bed. You scooted over a little to make space for him as he got under the covers. “I love you ‘suki…” There was no reply. And after a little while you said it again.

“I love you too godammit” Bakugo muttered as he turned away from you. “I don’t fucking understand why I need to tell you every five minutes.” You stared at his back, not really knowing what to say. But soon enough you turned away and closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep before the tears started falling.

“Why are you still with him?”

“I don’t even know anymore…”

“WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS?!” You shouted from across the room. Hot tears were streaming down your face as Bakugo ignored you, putting his shoes on and getting ready for work. “What have I done so wrong for you to treat me like absolute shit?” Bakugo scoffed, stomping his boots on before glaring at you.

“Well I have to go out and protect the city! I have to go out on nightly patrols. And I have to come home to you constantly nagging me about not giving you affection! When the fuck did you become so needy?” Your fists were clenched and your throat felt like you had swallowed barbed wire. You were tired of the fighting. You were tired of the screaming. You were tired of not feeling loved.

“I have my needs too, Katsuki! You expect me to stay home and wait on you when you come home. Do you ever think about what I want?” Your legs felt weak and honestly you just wanted to sleep and avoid your relationship problems like the both of you always do.

“Who the fuck makes the money Y/n? While you sit your ass at home doing some online classes for some useless ass job. You don’t do shit.”

“Do you love me Katsuki?” You asked, it was your final question, your final argument.

“What?” he asked, his gaze softened for a second before hardening once again to that menacing glare you hate.

“I asked if you love me.”

“I- I’ve got to get to the agency...bye,” and he left without another word. Leaving you alone and misserable once again.

“Why are you still with him?”

“...I’m not.”

“Bakugo, I can’t keep doing this,” you said. It was a rare peaceful moment between the two of you. You guys were sitting on opposite ends of the couch while the news played on the t.v and you browsed through your phone. You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t take the constant anxiety, the constant stress of just wanting some affection. You didn’t want to deal with this anymore.

“Do what?” He asked, not even taking his eyes off of the television. You sat up and looked at him with watery eyes.

“I can’t date you anymore. I can’t do this. I’ll go move in with a friend,” You got up from the couch to walk to your bedroom to pack your belongings when his voice rang through the hall.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He looked at you with eyes blown wide and his jaw clenched. You nodded at him before continuing to your room, ignoring his footsteps as they followed you. “What the fuck do you mean you’re leaving? You can’t leave-”

“And why not? I have every goddamn right to leave your shitty ass,” your words came out sharp and he could tell that you were done. That you had finally snapped. He watched as you packed a small suitcase with just the bare essentials and some clothes. His mouth was open from shock and his head was running at one hundred miles an hour. But you walked past him, with your head hung low so he couldn’t see you cry. You wouldn’t let him see you hurt anymore.

As you walked out that door for the final time you heard sniffles coming from inside. But with one deep breath you closed the door and never looked back.

sorry not sorry :P

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river-bottom-nightmare · 3 years

Text

Nightwing #81 Review

i swear i actually thought no one was interested so i didn’t write one but a grand total of two (2) people said they wanted to read it, so here it is. honestly, my opinion’s been going a bit downhill, but the art is really cool and there are some decent parts so. holding out i guess? i really hope taylor has an end goal or at least a cohesive plan, otherwise i don’t see this series going anywhere i’ll particularly enjoy

the cover is very straightforward in its imagery, this villain has nightwing in the palm of his hand, easily manipulated, easily controlled no matter the action dick thinks he’ll take.

what i find interesting is the colour: both previously and heavily in this issue, the colourist has chosen to make pink this villain’s main colour, with different shades of pink as accents. so why the red in the cover? possibly to just make it more eye-grabbing, though one could argue that pink is even more eye-catching than red. maybe to convey a sense of dread or fear that pink won’t fully get across. either way, it’s definitely a decision i’m curious about.

so melinda zucco is in a high enough political position within bludhaven that she is next in line to become the mayor after the previous mayor died and dick just,,,,didn’t have any idea she existed? dick didn’t know anything about her? forget dick’s own brilliant detective skills, forget his doggedness at anything zucco related, you’re telling me bruce never found her and told dick about her? maybe he wouldn’t have now, but back when dick was a young kid, he definitely would have at least made dick aware of her existence, to let dick know and ask if he wanted to interfere with her life or anything.

i have a thought about zucco’s facial expressions. she is very much stone-cold poker face throughout the entire issue. the only time i see her pull a different expression is near the end when dick corners her against a wall with an arm around her throat.

this is most certainly intentional, what with the varied and intense expressions we see on other characters, dick most prominently. i’m wondering what exactly is the creative team’s reasoning behind this. in these panels, zucco is meeting with the most dangerous, powerful, near-bloodthirsty man in all of bludhaven and becoming the mayor of the city respectfully. in both of these panels, there is barely a hint of emotion in her face: no fear, no determination, no satisfaction. it’s just odd, considering the circumstances she’s in, regardless of any training recieved.

just spitballing here but. like. from what i’ve read so far, dick doesn’t really seem like bludhaven’s guardian angel. more like when peter parker first put on spandex and blindly stepped out into new york.

dick, how exactly can you underestimate someone from one move. so he caught your escrima. anyone with enhanced reflexes can do that. you still don’t know how he can actually fight, and this is shown in the next set of panels.

i just don’t like the wording here. dick’s “underestimated” him, but beats him up easy in the next page. in addition, i don’t know much about combat, but i would assume it would take more than one move to determine exactly what an opponent’s skill level is, made even more complex when you add physical enhancements and metahumans and aliens into the mixture.

idk my first thought when i saw that he caught the stick was “ah ok he’s enhanced” because obviously he couldn’t have reacted fast enough if he wasn’t (as there are few people trained enough to catch it on human reflexes alone.) then the wording in the next panel, i’ve underestimated him, made me think “oh no ok so he’s not enhanced, he’s just a really good fighter and can give dick a run for his money in a fight.” then, it turns out my first assumption was proven correct in the next panel. it just comes across as misleading to me.

(also sidenote but his curls are cute.)

have i praised the art enough in this series? no, i have not.

i adore the way this is laid out and illustrated. without even having to read the text, the action sequence is visually engaging and intense, and easily followable from one panel to the next. dick’s physical expertise comes through quite efficiently, and i love the special attention shown to draw our attention to dick’s escrima in the bottom right corner.

also that move in the middle row leftmost panel that’s the mcu black widow move to get up off the ground it was the first thing i noticed and it made me laugh; thought it was worth noting

i’m really loving dick’s escrima sticks in this run. they’re just so multipurpose, it’s hilarious and exhilarating. kinda reminds me of bruce’s belt, the way the button in the middle does eevveeerrryyytthhiinngg.

got a problem? don’t worry! dick’s installed a feature into his escrima that can fix that! (i like thinking dick helped make them it makes me happy and makes my engineer!dick side satisfied)

yawn. your big heart is your one true weakness yadda yadda the fact that you care will be used against you blah blah we get it. jesus can the villains please find a different weakness to exploit, this is getting old.

i need dick’s capacity to empathize and care and love to stop being a weakness that villains sneer about. bonus points if dick saves everyone anyway, either because of or despite his great big heart and the villain is surprised by the goodness of mankind or some shit like that.

i need it to be a strength, right from the get-go. the fact that he cares so incredibly much should be an asset that dick has and will use. he’s a very complex character with years of background, it can’t possibly be that hard to find another weakness of his.

ooooh this is cool, gosh i absolutely love this.

because what exactly is the reader doing? we are seeing the fear in dick’s face, just as this villain intended. even better, we’re seeing the reflection of it from the villain’s glossy mask, telling us exactly what we’re seeing and exactly what he likes so much about it.

dick’s standing up straight, shoulders drawn back, looking up at this villain’s face with determination and resolve, but his suit is tattered. one eye looks to be swollen. his hair is falling limply around his eyes, as opposed to the curls from earlier. his escrima aren’t even part of the main focus, instead blending into the side of the mask in the outer corners of the mask’s eyes, which tells you exactly how big of a threat they are to this villain.

poor bitewing’s quite alarmed.

also on second thought why would you bring your puppy out like this, when you know you’re gonna end up fighting someone in the suit. a) how many grey three-legged adorable little puppies live in the bludhaven area dick? and how easy will it be to connect the doggo running around with nightwing with the doggo that dick grayson owns? and 2) is this puppers trained? does she have fighting experience? how exactly can you ensure she will survive this highly stressful situation?

dick take better care of your dog

you know what? i was with tim on this one. why exactly is dick so optimistic and trusting about the people of bludhaven? bludhaven, which has been described as gotham’s smaller, smellier, more corrupt sister city once or twice. it’s not just the corrupt people in power, the entire system needs to change and people need to have faith and hope in order for them to come together, espcially if they’ve been living in conditions like how bludhaven has been described. from how clueless dick is about his own goddamn city, i can tell he hasn’t been here long.

it was a nice moment of hope, i’ll admit. but it was a tad unrealistic for me.

also it was in a weird place in the comic. this sort of confrontation and big get-together of the people to rejuvenate hope in each other feels like it should come near the end of a run, if not the end of an issue. certainly not in the first third of an issue. the pacing’s a bit off to me.

loyal little puppy patiently waiting for her human to wake up. i love her so much.

no it’s not. it’s bitewing.

living for this t-shirt honestly. do comics of dc characters exist in the dc universe? they must if the mug and the shirt are any indication

(now i’m imagining the first batman movie that came out in the dc universe and bruce just. being so offended at who they chose to play him.)

well, yes. but when a group of people are put through hellish conditions over and over again, they soon become desensitized to the pain and terror of their everyday lives in order to both stay sane and keep their life relatively stable, and part of that becomes ignoring or blocking out anything that isn’t directly important to you or your loved ones. having a bleeding heart will most likely get you killed in a city like bludhaven if you don’t have the same skills that vigilantes have.

and of course, people are more than capable of coming together and rallying under their city’s vigilante after seeing the good they’ve done and how they’ve helped the people, but that sort of trust takes time and effort to build. dick also had the whole ric arc and was gone for a while, which has been referenced several times in this particular issue in fact. that’s not going to make bludhaven’s citizens any more likely to trust him.

maybe i’m being a bit harsh but this comic is comic off as a bit too idealistic for the amount of change nightwing can do in a city given the present and past circumstances as well as nightwing’s own abilities. even dick grayson can’t pull off everything.

ok seriously this needs to stop this needs to stop.

right now, dick reminds me of oliver queen in the few episodes of the cw’s arrow i watched. he does the punchy-kicky-fighty and occasionally has smart insights due to the skills he gained from his past that he certainly definitely totally has but only ever exhibits once, while his team does all of the background research and information gathering and actual work.

this is dick’s city. if he has the same intelligence, worth ethic, and stubbornness in this run that he’s been shown to possess all his life, then he knows this city inside out. he’ll have meticulous notes organized in a ridiculously efficient system, he’ll have scouted out zucco long before this started, he’ll have known when anything big happened in the bludhaven political landscape in an instant.

i’m really not liking exactly how much dick’s relying on babs and tim in this series. sure, he loves them and cares for them and likes working cases with them. but he always pulls his own weight, has always been a mentor figure to tim instead of what’s weirdly becoming the other way around, and takes point on the cases in his own damn city.

what kind of weak-ass oracle is this?? redacted fbi files are child’s play. babs used to hack into the fbi for fun. this one particular picture is so out of character i want to laugh.

reading this series has unfortunately made me confront that, despite the tiny fluid acrobat dick that lives in my head 24/7, canon dick is impossibly 5′10 and muscular at that.

mmm. titties.

tim said hydrate or die-drate bitch

love how dick’s doing all this intense brooding and stuff meanwhile bitewing is curled up in a soft comfy post having the time of her life.

you don’t understand i would legitimately kill myself for her.

also the lighting in this one scene is cool. the blue tones come off so well.

they’re just. so multipurpose!! they can become a bo staff. they can cut glass. they can become a grapple hook/line. they can electrify someone. they’re a funky colour. i’m becoming really attached to these things. absolute solid choice in weaponry.

if you’re gonna write up every rookie mistake dick has made during this series to head trauma, then dick shouldn’t be out and about at all, much less in costume.

see this? this is just straight up wrong. dick most definitely should have spotted her, and would have immediately moved to take her down.

scratch that, dick would have done a full check of the building, because he knows not to break into places uninformed, especially if the owner of the apartment was raised by the maroni family. someone as highly trained, experienced, and competent as dick wouldn’t have done this.

and if you chalk it up to head injury, (which is probably true), than his ~love interest~ and his little brother should have done a much better job making sure he stays in his house.

zucco looks so awkward it’s fucking hilarious

are those shadows that mimic a domino mask, to both reflect and hide the fact that his mask is missing? are those bruises around his eyes, to show how, despite what good he’s doing, being nightwing is hurting dick right now?

(isn’t his domino mask supposed to have an electrifying feature that keeps people from removing them?)

it’s a little odd how the three known villains of this series are all coloured in warm shades, more specifically pink. meanwhile, in earlier issues, dick’s fondest memories were in pink, memories of him and alfred in particular. why has the colour pink changed from signifying something benevolent to something malicious? idk i hope this gets explained later.

this i did like. either it’s just a display of brute force in anger, or dick slipped the ties and pulled them off once untied. both ways, it’s an unintentional display of power, and i think that’s kinda cool.

again. dick is,,,tall? sort of? weirdddd

i’m so glad most readers are unified in the notion that this was the absolute dumbest fucking thing.

i’m hoping this gets disproved or something soon. and i hope dick doesn’t fall for it, because he definitely knows better than to take something as important as this at face value.

what exactly is taylor trying to accomplish here? why is he trying to go back on what we all knew was a happy, loving childhood and throw strife and disharmony and (what i’m assuming will be) infidelity? this will not end well at all.

---

,,,,,this review got way longer than expected lol. and i realize most of it just became me ranting. i guess i didn’t realize how ticked off i was originally. fingers crossed it gets better.

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @subtleappreciation @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @comics-observer

#nightwing 81 #nightwing #dick grayson #dc #nightwing 81 meta #nightwing meta #dick grayson meta #dc meta #river thinks too hard

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anystalker707 · 3 years

Text

I'm here, love

Pairing: Ray x [fem] Reader Word count: 1 916 Genre: Comfort / Fluff Summary: Reader isn't handling it well when she goes with MCR for a tour for the first time, but Ray is always there for her. TW: Anxiety attack

Requested by anon

Tour has been going on for some time already, almost a month, but it actually feels like forever. All the agitation can be really immersive, turning the attempts of keeping track of time difficult, even more since we mostly follow a nighttime schedule due to the concerts. We’re almost always heading to a bar or club after the concerts, so it’s basically falling asleep at two in the morning to wake up at noon or something in the best days. Certainly not the best thing.

Today is thankfully one of the break days in which the guys don’t have any concert and we arrived to the next city earlier than usual, what means we’re lazing around for most of the time.

“…because he’s not here, duh!” Ray’s voice becomes audible as he leaves the bus, grinning as looking back at it and shaking his head after Mikey says something, though I’m not able to understand any of it. Only a small smile remains on his face whilst he approaches me, taking a seat on the ground with me. “Hello, love,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Hi.” I smile, pecking his lips, and put my phone down.

“What are you doing?” He raises an eyebrow, looking around for a moment like if trying to find what kept my attention until now.

“Nothing, really,” I say softly, leaning my head against his shoulder. “Do you want to go do something? I wanted to, but didn’t want to ask while you were busy with the others.” The thought of interrupting the four’s talk and probably attracting all that attention wasn’t exactly appealing, I’m secretly thankful he finally left the bus.

“Aw, you didn’t have to wait for all this time.” Ray’s eyebrows furrow lightly as he pecks my cheek. “And we could go look for a café or a restaurant, how does that sound? It’s almost lunchtime, after all.”

“Sounds good!” I smile, liking the opportunity of spending some time alone with Ray.

He seems just as happy as standing up and offering me a hand, which I take to help myself standing up. “So, how are you feeling? With the whole tour thing, I mean.” Ray wraps an arm around me when we start walking down the parking lot, concern laying under his apparently normal expression.

I hum, looking away for a moment. “Oh, yeah, I’m alright. I’ll let you know if I need anything, thank you.” I press a kiss to Ray’s cheek, trying to demonstrate my appreciation despite the subject making me tense up a bit.

Ray is more than aware of my problems with anxiety, already having helped me through its ups and downs, and both of us already predicted how the whole tour thing would interfere on it, mainly because it’s my first time tagging alone during one. We already had a hard time before the tour itself – I got too panicked at the whole thing since I barely knew how it would work –, hence he’s been worried and making sure of always checking on me.

Truth is that I’m not as alright as I’ve claimed to be. The tour has already reached my nerves and I can already feel this familiar buzzing under my skin, threatening to intensify, making me lose it yet again. It, however, won’t happen; I’ll not let that happen. Ray won’t even know.

We’re soon walking into a restaurant, the smell of food filling the ambient and, somehow, it feels good and bad at the same time. Not a surprise, since the anxiety usually has me either eating compulsively or not eating at all, so I think my body decided it’ll be better if I stay inside that bus for hours with an empty stomach, right?

We take a seat and place our orders – I balance my choice between something that my body won’t reject and Ray will not complain about, what seems to work.

“Y’know,” Ray breaks the silence between us, “what have you been thinking about watching us live?” He glances at me, expectant. His question doesn’t fail in making me smile since he’s probably referencing how I used to keep bugging him with questions about the tour concerts.

“Awesome, of course!” I grin, letting my eyes fall to my plate as I drag the food around for a bit. “It’s just amazing, I love it, seeing you playing is just…” I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up whilst Ray breathes a chuckle, but I’m unable to look at him just yet. When I do glance at Ray, he’s grinning. “You know how much I like it.”

“I just wanted to check,” he says smugly – I snort, shaking my head playfully.

“Already regretting bringing me with you, tho?” I raise an eyebrow, finishing to eat and leaning back on the chair.

“Never!” Ray says indignantly, shooting me a look. “I’d have taken you with me before if I knew you wanted it that bad!” He pauses to take a sip of his drink. “Like, I missed you an awful lot and the tours tend to be fun. Though there are a few problems, but…”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” I press my lips together and nod as he does the same.

We sit in silence for a moment, only until Ray finishes eating and soon calls the waitress. She grins as coming closer, a block of notes in her hand and a pencil on the other. “Well, you two have ordered for…” she trails off, mumbling under her breath as scribbling a few things down on her paper before grinning and handing Ray the bill; he nods, reaching for his wallet. Meanwhile, the woman looks at me, wide eyes looking at me from up to down with that fake excitement. Okay. What’s wrong? Maybe she’d judging my clothes? Or that I’m with Ray?

I try to ignore the woman, turning to Ray. “Hey, I was thinking we could—”

“Keep the change,” Ray tells the woman as handing her the money, ignoring me. Fuck. “And do you know any convenience store or café nearby?”

The two engage into a conversation and maybe it’s the instability and stress due to the whole tour-anxiety thing or whatever, but I can feel my heart heavy due to it. My plan is to continue there, of course, leave with Ray so we can spend mor time alone with each other, a plan that I give up on as soon as feeling a sting in my chest. I just stand up and leave.

Why did Ray ignore me? What did I do wrong? He got tired or annoyed, perhaps. …Or, yet, I’m just overreacting. Hell, I know Ray wouldn’t do that to be in purpose because he is usually so loving.

A sigh escapes my lips as I glance back and I really want to come back – I would, if I wasn’t so far from there already. It’s the best to just give him some random excuse later.

Holy fuck, but, honestly, everything only went downhill from the moment I decided to tag along.

First of all, I panicked at the sole fact I was going to come with them to the tour then got extremely awkward during a whole week and half, barely talking with anyone asides from Ray – what got Mikey annoyed at some point, what I’m sure of even if everyone denies it. And then we went along with all the minor events, like me being the last one to get back to the bus, almost getting lost in the venue and simply being unable to talk to anyone asides from the band and the staff, among other inconveniences.

Everyone must be more than done with me, to be honest. And there’s still a whole other month before we can go home, I don’t think I’ll be able to go through all of this with the mess I am.

I sigh in relief at seeing the bus and am about to walk inside it when Gerard show ups out of seemingly nothing, looking around, but his attention quickly falls on me. “Oh, (y/n)— Hey, were you crying? Something happened?”

The question makes me freeze, just now noticing the tears threatening to slip from my eyes and consequently making me feel like all of my blood instantly drained to my feet. “I-I—” I stutter, unfortunately simply unable to finish the sentence, and end up just running away from there, going to an isolated spot of the parking lot to calm down. I don’t want anyone seeing me having another attack, make them even more annoyed and attract all that attention.

Air just escapes my grasp, seemingly impossible to continue in my lungs for longer than a few seconds whilst the tears simply do not stop, even if I don’t even want to be crying or anything, fuck off.

I take a seat on the grassed area, under a tree, and bring my hands up to my eyes.

Cleaning my mind is just impossible, I just keep thinking about how everyone is going to be shooting me these stupid concerned looks when I’m back to the bus and how I’m only going to continue being another source of stress to them during the rest of the tour. Ray should’ve just left me home as usual and—

“…(y/n), listen to me, (y/n)! I’m here!” Ray’s voice cuts through my thoughts and I can feel his hand around my wrist, the other one on my back. “Hey, baby, it’s okay. C’mon, breath with me,” he says softly before starting to set a breathing pace I can’t help but to stick to.

Hell, when did Ray even get here?

I’m getting better when my breath hitches in my throat at the thought I’m only annoying him and I can’t help but to let out a weak sob his time. Ray only starts to rub my back. Even if I’m crying, I do feel better than I did earlier, now slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings while all that filled my mind moments ago were these awful thoughts along with all the panic and worry.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper shakily, bringing my hands down to bury my face in the crook of his neck, trying to synch my breathing with his.

“You don’t need to be sorry, love,” Ray says softly, thumb running along the back of my neck in a weirdly soothing manner. “Don’t be ashamed of it or anything, this whole thing is really stressing. Even us had problems with it at first, so everyone understands how you must be feeling.” His voice helps me calming down, giving me something to hold onto to keep myself in reality asides from his touches.

“Thank you, then,” I reply, my voice still tight.

“It’s okay. I do it because I love you.” Ray pulls away lightly and smiles at me. His hands cup my cheeks, warm against them, whereas he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. “And I want to see you fine, okay?” He presses his lips against mine in a light kiss I’m thankful for. “Let me know about it the next time you feel like this, please.” A quiet sigh comes from him as he furrows his eyebrows at me, worry obvious there. “Are you feeling better now?” I nod. “Really?” he asks and I nod again, pecking his lips like if to prove it. “Okay…-“ he smiles, relieved, “-…how about a coffee now, hm?”

64 notes · View notes

imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 19/?

Word Count: 4.1k

Author’s Note:

Warnings: Mentions of the court system, fighting, swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Time Skip lol, February, next year. Finals.

She and Jason had been together for 6 months around February. When finals started coming up. The distance and tension between the two was fucking palpable. They hadn't fought or anything, but the stress between them had caused a slight riff. They just had space to focus on their studies.

They would see each other at work. She was his secretary. Everyone, all their friends, even their families, swore they just needed to bone. Which, considering they both heard about this from Bruce first, didn't mean they wanted to do it.

If you had asked Y/N, she would have said she wasn't dressing for Jason. But that was a lie. She was tempted to go with the advice everyone was giving them, especially before they went into their first finals exam. She walked into his office.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I'm your secretary. Seeing if you need anything."

"I don't."

She turned to walk out.

"That doesn't mean you can walk out."

She smiled to herself, "Alright." She sat on the chair in front of his desk, "I won't walk out."

"Mhm."

She frowned, he didn't even look up from his computer. "What do you want me here for, Jay?"

"Close the blinds on all my windows, baby."

"It'll become dark."

"Good."

"Your eyes will fry from the light of your computer."

"Trust me, they won't."

"Uh-huh," she doubted as she closed the blinds.

Jason walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. She smiled and leaned her head on his.

"Exams fucking suck," Jason said.

"Couldn't have guessed from the riff in our relationship, really? You don't say?" she sarcastically retorted.

"It's not like we had it easy this entire time, either."

"Fuck you don't say? At least my attacker was admitted to Arkham and my friends got out."

"Can't catch a break," he paused because his buzzer went, "Can't catch a fucking break!" he exclaimed, exasperated. He went and answered it, "Jason Todd, who's using Y/N (Last Name)'s buzzer," he said, sounding annoyed.

"Hey, it's Dick. You two aren't fucking right, B will be pissed."

"Shut up. We aren't. What do you want."

"Someone's pissed. I need paperwork."

"Come and get it."

She crossed her arms and laughed when Dick entered the room. She slightly waved. He slightly waved back.

"You know, you two should bone. But not here," Dick joked. He walked over to one of the many, many filing cabinets to search for the paperwork he needed.

"You're really just riding the wave into Jason running you down, aren't you?" Y/N said.

"Well, we're always up for sparring."

"It probably won't be sparring, Dick. You know your brother. He's staring daggers into the back of your head."

"For Valentine's, I'll be giving Barbara the stress of taking care of me after Jason beats me to a pulp."

"At least you'll get one last Gala?" she joked.

"Will you be coming?"

"She will," Jason said.

"Amazing. Don't fuck on the dance floor," Dick joked.

"Fuck you."

"Love you too, Jase," he turned to walk out, "Love you too, Y/N."

"I'll be sure to tell you I love you at your funeral, Dick," she joked as he walked out. She paused before turning to Jason, "Gala?"

"Come, please," he said before going to hug her. "I miss you."

"You see me every day, Love."

"But we haven't been," he paused, "Well, a couple. In weeks. I miss you. The fun one who got me to run down the streets of Gotham on a skateboard."

"Dress code?"

"White tie."

"Dammnit. Guess I'm shopping."

"I'll give you my debit card?"

"I don't need it, baby. However," she joked, "I sure will take it."

He laughed and forked it over to her, "Don't spend my Ph.D. funds."

"I will gladly spend your Ph.D. funds."

"No," he laughed, "Please, I need those."

"I mean if you insist I spend it all," she said, laughing.

"The Gala's later tonight, you can take the rest of the day off."

"Kind of you to do."

"I know, I'm a gentleman."

"Truly," she kissed him. "I'll see you tonight."

"Can I come to get you?"

"Feel free too."

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you," she said before she left the office.

Getting into her car, she fumbled with the mirror a bit. She looked like a mom. The bags under her eyes and the formal get-up for an office job did her in.

They had said "I love you" for the first time around Christmas. She wished she caught the moment where they were fucking around and she just said it.

The Christmas lights surrounded them, hung in the trees. They had gone to see the New York City tree in Times Square. He was setting up a photo to take of the two of them and she just said it.

She could have sworn his fucking eyes lit up with green. Like they glowed.

Reminiscing on those small moments with Jason was something that would make her smile without fail. That man somehow unlocked a new set of feelings, stronger feelings. She was in touch with herself.

She went to her house first, to see how A/N was doing. To see her on the steps. She pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, you good?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, of course. Why?"

"I have to go get a dress for a Wayne Gala trademark, do you want to come to help me?"

"Of course I do!"

---------------------

"I guess you could say we didn't narrow shit down about a dress," Y/N joked as she came out in the 16th dress she had tried on.

"Okay, well, that one is the best so far," A/N said, seeming like they finally made progress.

"Wow, this is news, we've narrowed it down."

"Honestly consider it a miracle. Thank God Jason let you go from work early. Are you getting a full day's pay?" A/N asked.

"Probably. I told Bruce I didn't want a full day's pay if I wasn't there, but Bruce said it was in my contract. I think he's just being generous," Y/N said with a sigh.

"Did you not read your contract?"

"I did! That's why I think he's being generous. I don't think I'd forget something like that."

"Watch you did forget those words. You should ask him to see your contract, if he's disobeying it then the board members are probably at his ass about it," A/N explained.

"God, please no. I would hate being a contention point for the board members."

"They probably want you fired. And they're probably mad that you won't be fired because you're with Jason."

"Well, I'm also just a great secretary"

"See, each time you say that I assume it's because you give him a little something-something under his desk every day."

"I'll have you know we've never had sex in that office."

"Did you have sex in another office?" A/N questioned.

"I'm pleading the 5th to any further questioning."

"Wait, oh my god."

"Nope! Going to go try on another dress and ignore you now!" Y/N exclaimed with a joking tone.

"This one's the best," A/N said.

"We're making progress! I'm thinking if I go with this one, I add gloves."

"God, are you trying to give Jason a hard-on?"A/N joked.

"I would like to plead the 5th to any further questioning on the matter," Y/N retorted.

"You're evil. If you're going to be evil, you might as well wear a suit."

"I wish. After all the shit I've been through, I want to stick it to the fucks who keep judging me. I'm already so jeopardized, though. Jason goes through a lot of shit dating me. I'll wear the dress."

"Old white people are old white people."

"Well, Bruce is nice at least. If he's judgemental, at least I don't hear about it on the news," Y/N said and twirled. "Yeah, this one. I like this one."

"I also like that one. There's something about silk. Always gets someone to look like 50 million dollars. Probably worth that too."

Y/N fumbled with the tag, "It's not pure silk, so it's less. Only 1000$."

"Only 1000$? God, that's like our rent."

"Rent is more."

"Well if we weren't in a house it would be the same. That's insane. That's like 3-4 months of groceries."

"I know it's a lot to us commonfolk, but Jason is rich. He wouldn't mind. We might, but he wouldn't."

"Yeah, but do you feel okay with spending that much of his money?"

"I have no idea. We'll see. I'll go try another dress on."

"This is cute," Y/N said.

"Well of course it is, it's probably worth your college scholarship, though."

"God, don't remind me of prices."

"It's hard to forget prices when we're given a lot of money to spend."

"We can't spend all of it!"

"What's he using it for?" A/N asked in a half-joke.

"He's getting a Ph.D. in Criminal Psychology when we graduate."

"Okay, okay. So he needs it."

"Yeah, he doesn't let Bruce pay his bills, remember. He's making his own money, minus the working-for-his-dad part."

"Yeah, the working for Bruce part seems a bit counterintuitive."

"If he's getting paid, it doesn't matter to him."

"What's it even like working with his family? Especially with the tension between you and Jason?"

"It sucks. Jason and I haven't fought, yet. We have to act like we aren't fighting. Which makes everyone think we are fighting. Which makes both of us mad. Because apparently," she paused, "The way to fix fighting is having sex, apparently."

"So have sex?"

"Shut up."

"Family on your nerves?" A/N asked.

"They're so involved, but I love them all. I just wish we had a moment alone, I know it's hard to do in a fucking office, but still."

"Go try on another dress. Show up looking like a million bucks."

"You are simply so right."

"I feel like this is the mature version of the black sparkly spaghetti straps one," A/N said.

"It's like you mashed a bunch of words together and suddenly I have to sell you my first-born son."

"Well, it's true!" She laughed, "It's a grown-up version, what someone, old white people, would expect of you."

"Old white people expect a lot."

"Jason's going to be one, one day," A/N joked.

"He's got not-white features," Y/N said, trying to picture his face. There was something about him. Something not-white. She had always picked up on it, but she could never tell what it was.

"Well, it's not like you can ask his mom her ethnicity."

"Jeez, that would be so rude of me to do. Let's just say it's... it's not my place."

"He's got secrets?" A/N questioned.

"Tall, handsome, mysterious. That's my Jason."

"A little bit of everything, all of the time," A/N said in a sing-song tune, specifically the "Welcome to the Internet" tune.

"Don't quote Bo Burnham to me, that album broke me," Y/N joked

"Who didn't it break? Oh, wait, probably Jason."

"He probably sobbed like a baby at it, I don't know where you got the "Emotionless" trope from, A/N."

"Can you blame me? He's a Wayne."

"Those are some of the most emotionally connected people I know? Like, genuinely, they're probably more in touch with themselves than you and I."

"Well, they don't exactly have the reputation for being able to discern their emotions, you know."

"You need to stop interacting with tabloids and their articles," Y/N said, seeming exasperated with the tabloids and the line of conversation. But that was nothing new. She hated the press, the articles, the paparazzi. She hated them all.

"Yeah, probably. You hate them for a reason."

"Do you not know about that time they made it so we couldn't get into our car?" Y/N asked.

"You did, you did."

"Fuckin' tabloids."

"Go try on another dress before you explode from rage."

"Valid," Y/N said, laughing.

"God, if only this wasn't a white tie event," Y/N said and sighed.

"I mean, you could just wear it."

"I will get my ass handed to me, however," she said, taking a picture, "Maybe Jason will just let me get it if I pay him back?"

"You don't have the money right now?" A/N asked.

"I need to get paid and I'll have enough," Y/N explained.

"Don't tell me this is worth more than our rent."

"I will just simply not tell you."

"Girl, you can't."

"Money is dumb and I hate it."

A/N laughed, "Which one do you want to go with?"

"Uh, probably the silk one."

"Temptress."

"I will literally buy and wear a corset to make Jason's life hard to get you off my back," Y/N laughed.

"I implore you to do so for the joke."

"Shut up," Y/N joked.

She still sent the picture of the last dress to Jason off-handedly. Asked him how he felt about it since she knew she loved it.

Why don't you just get it? He had sent back.

Can't afford it.

I can.

Please let me pay you back for this.

Just take me on a date.

I can do that.

You should.

I'll see you soon.

She laughed and grabbed both dresses.

"Jason's buying both?" A/N asked.

"Mhm! I have to take him on a fun date in return."

"You were probably going to do it both ways, honestly."

"You just know me so well."

-----------------------

They had gone and gotten the gloves before heading back to their house. Laughing and blasting rock songs the entire time. There was something about the bass running through the car and having the windows rolled down while screaming the songs. It was insane.

One of the songs they blasted was "I Think I'm OKAY" by Machine Gun Kelly and YUNGBLUD, switching out the vocals. It was fun to take breaks like that and, just enjoy each other's presence. Especially during finals season, where both of them were stressed because of their respective finals.

Everyone was stressed. Finals did that to everyone. Whether someone was in school or not, they felt the teenagers and college students lose their minds about it.

They got out of the car at their home and took the dresses inside. A/N went to go study in her room while Y/N went to go hang up her dresses. She entered her room and instantly remembered why she hated her laptop.

The laptop fan was deafening, it's why she barely had Jason over at her house anymore. She cleaned it constantly but, it kept going and going.

She brought it to the Wayne Manor over the Winter Break because she had work to do but wanted to see Jason, and everyone, everyone, commented on the thing.

They compared it to a screaming goat, an electronic mess, a horse-powered fan, anything they could put together with electronic, goat and fan, they called the laptop that.

Bruce even offered to buy her a new one, but she declined. She didn't think it was broken, so it didn't need to be replaced or fixed. If it was still in working condition, she was going to use it until it bluescreened on her.

Much to everyone's dismay.

She hated the fucking thing. So if she could drown it out with music, you bet your ass she did. She was grateful that her parents had sent it to her, but she assumed it was because they hated it too. She was right. No one liked that laptop.

She went to go shower. She figured if she fucked with her appearance and hair a bit, then the press would get off her back. She hadn't exactly tried to impress them thus far. But she wanted to just live her life.

She figured doing her hair, makeup, wearing the right clothes, she'd get harassed less. There was a lot of pressure dating a Wayne, she had realized.

She was constantly in the media, somehow she became an idol for little girls in the span of months. It was a lot for someone to take on. She embraced it normally. With open arms normally.

But A/N had told her that she started sleep-talking. Screaming about the eyes, the people watching her. She knew it was probably connected to the stress she was under dating Jason, but she really didn't want to deal with it.

If she ignored it, no one could tell her to deal with it. If she hid it, no one had to see it. She was looking into soundproofing her room so that A/N didn't have to see it.

Was it healthy to do that? Probably not. Probably far from the concept of healthy coping mechanisms.

She got out of the shower and started playing with her appearance. If she ended up with loud makeup and hair after this, she was going to just accept it.

She did end up with pretty loud eyeshadow. But her hair was fine, as acceptable as it could get for everyone judging her. Only nude lipstick that was just two, maybe three shades darker than her skin was what she needed. She kind of overdid the eyeshadow, so it had to be balanced.

Nerves by Icon for Hire was playing in her room. And in a way, that was how she felt. There was a lot of feeling in her, that she wasn't made for the life she was starting to lead. That being an idol was how she was going, but she couldn't do it.

She sighed and put on heels. White heels. It would be easier to put them on before the dress and gloves. The corset came on next. IT wasn't anything special, and she was capable of putting it on without help.

But then the dress.

"She loved that dress, but it wasn't the other one. The other one sparked a little bit of joy in her, while this one just conformed to everyone's opinions of her.

She wanted to wear the other one, so, so, fucking badly.

And finally the gloves. It was an outfit she thought was cute but would be torn to shreds in the media. She knew that.

The media liked to eat her alive.

Part of her wanted a break from it all. The other part wanted to do an interview with the press, to shit-talk all of them and make them weep. She wanted to be the one to destroy them.

Revenge was best served cold though, and the rage was far too hot in her head to even begin a proper essay on why they sucked.

She turned off the music in her room and was greeted with the lovely sounds of her computer fan. Comforting, but hatred.

Jason was going to be there any minute. Was she even ready for a Gala?

They had been through so much.

---------------------------------

She walked to his car. He brought one of the fancy ones.

"You couldn't just like, own a not expensive car?" she joked.

"Why would I do that?"

She laughed and handed him his debit card, "I don't know, to keep the press off your ass?"

"I think they'd find us no matter what," he said as he backed out of her driveway, "You look beautiful by the way."

"Thank you, Love. You're as handsome as always."

"Simp."

"Alas, I admit it," she joked as she turned on the radio. "I swear the media is going to have a field day today."

"When do they not?"

"That's fair."

"I'm sorry this school year's been fucking our relationship," he sighed, "We deserve better and a better chance than what we've been dealt."

"Unfortunately that's how school works."

"Fuck school sometimes. Not everyone gets as hit as badly as us."

"It's the psychology teachers. If any teachers are strict, they are."

"We still deserve a break."

"Well, there's always when finals are over."

"I swear we're doing something nice when finals end."

"That's not that hard to do."

The tension in that car was palpable. Truly, you could cut that with a knife. A diamond's edge.

They got to the Gala before anyone, except the Waynes.

"Hey lot," Y/N said.

"Y/N! Glad you could make it!" Stephanie said and pulled her into a hug, "The guys suck, so I like you the most today."

She laughed, "What did they do?"

"They won't play rooftop tag with me."

"Why do you even play that game?" Y/N asked.

"Agility! I'm a track star, duh. I drag them with me."

"Ah, how could I be so foolish," she laughed as Stephanie pulled her towards the other girls. Y/N waved at the boys while laughing. "You do know I have a boyfriend who wants to see me, right?"

"It's Jason."

"Good observation."

"Shut up. I claim you."

"You can't claim me!" she jokingly exclaimed, loud enough for the boys to hear.

"Steph, that's my girlfriend!" Jason yelled back.

"Not anymore!" She yelled as she pulled Y/N into the building.

"Explanation?" Y/N asked, "Do you have an issue or something?"

"I don't. Babs does."

"Go on?"

"Ask her."

Y/N sighed and walked up to Barbara and Cassandra, "I heard you have an issue or something?"

"Yes! You! Okay so," Barbara said, "We're all worried about you and Jason."

"Oh, Jeez," Y/N sighed.

"No no, listen. We can feel the tension. Have you been fighting?"

"I told you before, we aren't."

"Then what is it? 'Cause I'm known for being a detective, hello, I'm Jim Gordon's daughter. And even I can't figure it out."

"Probably exams. Exams suck."

"Oh! It's because you're not used to the fame," Cassandra said.

"Okay, Cassie. Listen, it's-"

"It is isn't it!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"Ugh. Yes. Are you happy now?"

"C'mon, it isn't that bad is it?" Barbara asked.

"It is. They've been at my throat with daggers ever since I met Jason."

"Who's been at your throat with daggers?" Jason asked.

"Don't worry about it," Y/N said before anyone could open their mouths and say to the contrary.

"Well, then. Everyone should be here soon," Bruce said. "Wish we had entertainment this time."

"Can't Y/N sing?" Tim asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Y/N said.

"So sing," Tim said.

"Tim. C'mon. Don't do me like this, man."

"Think about it," Bruce said and put a hand on her shoulder, "It could be fun."

She laughed and everyone scattered except her and Jason.

"So, the daggers comment?" he asked.

"Media reference."

He sighed, "You can always step out of the spotlight, my love. Step down, walk away from their eyes but still be in mine."

"I'll think about it."

He took her hands, "You should think quicker," he joked.

She laughed and he pulled her into the ballroom she knew all-too-well at this point. The first time she was there ran through her mind like no one was watching, the beauty in her memory for capturing it like that.

She knew once the pictures were released she'd probably attempt to paint it.

Galas were stuffy and full of people. She didn't like the people aspect. When strangers would come up to her and start talking, she'd get freaked out. They knew her, but she didn't know them.

She wasn't involved in getting to know people high-up in the world. She was a simple secretary who was dating one of the CEOs.

She'd get twirled around by people's sons. Stuck in dances and conversations. She almost always found herself with one of the Waynes after she ran from someone she didn't know.

She did figure if she sang she'd get away from everyone. So, in a fit of trying to get away, she found her way to Selina.

"Hey!" she said.

"Y/N! Are you running again?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do you want to sing or something, Bruce said he asked you to."

"He did, and I figured, "Fuck it" so here I am."

Jason came up just as she said that, "Duet?" he asked.

"Now that's an idea and a half."

"You kids, always doing crazy stuff," Selina joked, "Le me see what I can do for 'ya."

"We're really doing this?" Jason asked as Selina slinked off.

"I guess so!" she exclaimed and he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Really saying "Fuck you" to the press today, huh?"

"Well, they're always saying "Fuck you" to me."

21 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Note

Hey, I trust your judgement and I need advice. What would you do with a distant father, who does not live with you and does not really check up on you (only sends weird pictures and messages) but whenever problems arise for him he immediately seeks you out? You see I noticed that most of my panic attacks are caused in situations with him and I can't talk civilly with him, he seems to expect me to function and I'm honestly struggling. Sorry to drop this on you, no worries if you can't help me.

Hey Nonny! *HUGS*

Oof, listen, I had the EXACT same problem with my Mother, actually.

PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL and I am only speaking anecdotally, in hopes that my experience may help you with yours.

After my dad died, rather than letting us three heal together, she (I later found out) was seeking out men online less than a month later, and buggered off by the 2nd month to another city close to her prospects. Note that at the time, my sister and I were both living at home with our parents because my sister was working a low-wage job and I was saving up to pay off my debts, so this was a bit of a shocker that a week after Dad's funeral, she told us to find a place to live, because she was leaving. Like, out of the blue. Looking back, it was really heartless, especially since we were grieving so much.

Throughout the next SEVEN YEARS, after I moved closer to my dad's family (who, for the record, my mother tried to get me to distance myself from ALL those 7 years out of pure jealousy), my mother proceeded to gaslight and emotionally abuse both my sister and I – I won't get into the details because it IS a lot and it still hurts me now that I realize what she did – and then disowned me (and my sister by-proxy, whom my mother rarely tried to contact) after I stood my ground. All those 7 years, she ONLY ever contacted me when she wanted money from me (I was living below the poverty line when I moved; all the money she got from my dad's life insurance, she blew in the first year and then blamed my sister and me AND MY DEAD FATHER), and tried to convince me how evil my father was (he wasn't. He was kind, worked hard, and loved his family very much and gave us a good life – we were upper middle-class up until his death and my sister and I got a 1000$ Wal Mart Gift card from the whole thing) to make herself feel better about what she did. And then even after disowning us, she still tries to contact me at least once a year, always opening with the typical narcissist guilt tripping, acting like she did no wrong, and then I always find out through the grapevine that it's always money-related as to why why she tries to contact me. She even tries to get to me via the relatives she told me to disassociate from – the ONLY extended family I ever knew – and they are amazing that they are protecting me from her because they FINALLY saw what was happening to us because she started her gaslighting and manipulating my aunts as well.

Now that I’m distanced from it all of it, EVERYTHING (trust me you guys, it’s fucking nuts... like I had an ENTIRE FAMILY she told me were all dead and she recently reconciled with) she did was to make me and my sister miserable, because that’s what abusers like to do. It TICKLED my mother when I was depressed and stressed, but because of “my kind heart” she took advantage of me and the knowledge that I would keep taking her back... until I didn’t and she got fucking NASTY.

So the whole point of this, Nonny, is to say as an outsider looking in, who has experienced similar manipulative tactics that fucked with my own mental health, I fear your dad, whether he knows it or not, is only staying in contact with you to feel better about himself as a parent, and IF he does realize he’s doing it, he LIKES seeing you have the panic attacks. BUT he might have undiagnosed issues of his own, so it could be as simple as he doesn’t know he’s making you uncomfortable.

The problem here is that with my situation, the disowning made the decision for me, and I was already trying to think of a way to tell my Mother that I needed to take a break from her, so it was a “simple” decision – I think my mother genuinely believes she did nothing wrong and thinks we are the worst children for not wanting to talk to her anymore.

In your situation, though, I think the best thing for you is to communicate with him; how you do so is something that you have to have a heavy think on. Let him know how he hurts you, and tell him that you need to know that your interactions won’t have underlying intentions. And if he becomes unreasonable, then say “and this is why we can’t talk”. I dunno Nonny. When I was planning to cut off my mother for awhile, I wrote everything down that I wanted to say to her one on one next time I saw her. I had a little speech written out that I was going to read to her. After the disowning, I tossed it out, and said “fuck it” and decided I would not “take her back” like I’ve done countless times in the past 7 years. Perhaps that will help you out too, Nonny, writing it all down.

Either way, this problem won’t solve itself unless some communication happens, and you need to stand up and be firm. I know it’s scary and tough, but honestly, I don’t regret a second of cutting my mother out of my life; I tried over and over to repair a broken rock; it’s not going to happen, and I TRIED communicating. I’m able to work on myself without stepping on eggshells all the time. I’m not suggesting you should cut out your dad, at all, but if this is an ongoing thing, it may be an option to consider as a last resort for your own health. But do try to talk first, and writing things down will help organize your thoughts and keep you calm.

Good luck Nonny. We’re here for you <3

#steph replies #emotional abuse cw #about me #i am not a professional #life advice #family

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s1utspeare · 3 years

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@staidwaters asked for Li Cu and “selcouth” (in reference to this post; send me a prompt!), and since someone ELSE requested selcouth for a character I gave you an extra word lmao. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE PROMPT!!! I LOVE U!

Also I will put these in a whole collection on ao3 at some point lol.

selcouth—unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet wonderful hiraeth—a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home with maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

There’s a time, when he returns, when he realizes he doesn’t know where home is.

Objectively, of course, he knows where he lives. He knows that there’s an apartment with his father in it and his bed and clothes and things are there, but that’s different. It never quite was a home, but it really isn’t anymore, because it’s just… it’s so small. He’s spent weeks with the stars as his ceiling, even more looking at the same four walls of his room in the Wang compound, so an apartment with beat-up furniture and storage closet that was never used for storing things isn’t that much different from any other apartment he could be in.

He tries going to Su Wan’s first. Part of him wants to because he missed Su Wan, but it’s mostly because he didn’t know for weeks if his best friend was dead or alive, so when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a short, sharp gasp, all he has to do is listen, and he can hear Su Wan breathing next to him in the bed. Also, Su Wan will cuddle him whether Li Cu wants him to or not, so that’s nice.

It doesn’t last, though, because every morning he has to go downstairs and say hi to Su Wan’s parents, and Su Wan’s parents tolerate him, but they don’t really like him, and they really don’t like him now, after he filled their garage with packages and dragged Su Wan off into the desert. Also, sometimes he doesn’t want to be cuddled because that’s like arms pinning him to the ground and it takes all his willpower not to punch a sleeping Su Wan in the face, but to instead lie stiff as a board until morning.

So he packs up his stuff and moves to Hao-ge’s, which is different, but not exactly better. Hao-ge is dealing with his own grief, his own loss, and Li Cu feels in the way of all that fury and rage. He knows, logically, that Hao-ge doesn’t blame him anymore, but he can still see Hao-ge’s face, streaked with tears, his fist pulled back, his voice strangled with anger and pain. Li Cu’s leg throbs.

He stays for three days, just to be polite. He watches their shop while Hao-ge goes out of town to visit some relatives, to figure out what they’re going to do with his grandmother’s things. He knows Hao-ge is probably going to sell the store. It’s not just because he doesn’t want to run it; he honestly can’t, financially. Hao-ge’s not ready to let it go, quite yet, so when he gets back, Li Cu lets him have the space back, to trace over and memorize the corners of his home before he has to leave, makes a mental note to bring Su Wan over to help him pack, to keep him distracted. He didn’t sleep well at Hao-ge’s anyway, especially when he was gone. It was too quiet then.

He can’t couch surf, after that. All the rest of his friends are dead.

He uses some of the stupid money that Wu Xie paid him at the very beginning—and it’s really not even enough, Wu Xie should be putting him through college—to rent a hotel room for a couple nights. That’s nice at first. He has his own space, a big shower, cable tv. But he doesn’t know it, his body can’t relax in an unfamiliar room with big, wide windows and only one lock. He spends two sleepless nights lying on his back, on his side, on his stomach, pacing the carpet. He gives up after night two, when everything’s hazy and dull in the back of his head, and checks out.

He spends the afternoon wandering around the city, toeing past the restaurants and coffee shops and arcades that he used to hang out in, the soccer fields and schools and parks he passed every day. There’s the manhole cover that broke and the city’s never gotten around to fix it, so there are perpetual orange cones around it in a cult-like circle—no, no, don’t think about cults, cones can’t have cults, it’s just a circle, Li Cu, come on—and there’s the statue of a dog near the center of the park near his house and he likes dogs, even more when they’re—not attacking him, they didn’t attack him, the dust of Wu Xie’s grandfather is ground into your bloodstream—and there’s the library that he and Shen Qiong used to go to for story time when they were really young—and now she’s young forever, a bullet in her brain between her eyes she died angry with you she died alone she died at the hands of her family—and eventually he’s on the soccer field and he’s lying flat on his back in the grass but there’s too much light and he can’t see the stars.

He can’t see the stars.

He can’t fall asleep if he can’t see the stars. If he can’t see the stars maybe he’s underground again, maybe—

“Kid, you can’t sleep there.”

He lifts his head, wearily. It aches, heavy on his neck. It got dark at some point, except not right now, because there’s a police officer shining his flashlight into his eyes, and he squints into it.

“Come on,” the officer says, “Go home.”

Li Cu laughs and flops back onto the grass. The police officer mutters something that sounds like a swear word under his breath and comes through the gate, marching over to Li Cu and hauling him, albeit gently, off of the turf.

“You been drinking?” the officer asks. Li Cu shakes his head. “Can’t smell any on you.” The man scoffs. “Jeez, kid, no offense, but you look terrible.”

Li Cu just blinks at him. He’s really tired, actually.

The officer sighs. “Come on, I’ll drive you home. You got an ID?”

Li Cu remembers that his ID is in his wallet which is in the pocket of his backpack and he knows it’s there because he had to use it to pay for the hotel.

He hands the entire thing to the officer, who sorts through it, glancing at Li Cu every so often in concern, and clicking his tongue contentedly when he finds what he’s looking for.

“Alright,” he says, “Let’s get you home.”

Li Cu’s glad this officer knows where his home is, because Li Cu has no idea.

Never mind. Li Cu is pretty sure this isn’t his house.

The police officer rings the doorbell, and unfamiliar chime. A loud, deep voice inside says, “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!” and then the door is flying open, and a large man with wild hair is staring down at them.

Li Cu frowns because he has no idea who this guy is.

The guy seems to know him, though, because he rolls his eyes, turns back into the house and shouts, “TIANZHEN!”

Li Cu winces, cause his head kind of hurts now, and that was not helpful.

The man turns back to look at them. “What did he do?”

“Uh,” the officer says, because he’s shorter than Li Cu, actually, so he must be feeling very intimidated by this large man, “He was sleeping on the soccer field at the high school.”

The door man snorts. “Of course he was.” He folds his arms, leaning against the doorframe, looks Li Cu over. “Yeah, you look like a mess, Ya Li.”

“Wha?” Li Cu says, because that’s weird, that this strange giant man with large arms is calling him Ya Li.

“That’s what Xiao Wan called you, right?” the man asks. “Su Wan? Your best friend?”

Li Cu gapes. “How do you know Su Wan?” He backs up a step. “Is someone stalking me again?”

The police officer looks very alarmed at that. “Again?”

“He’s joking,” the Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li says, “No one’s stalking him. His friends came to me for help a while back, but he wasn’t with them.”

The police officer does not seem convinced, but at that moment, a familiar face appears in the doorway behind the Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li.

“Wu Xie?” Li Cu asks.

Wu Xie looks just as surprised as Li Cu is. “What did he do?”

“Nothing,” the officer says, “He was trying to sleep on the soccer field. Which is actually illegal. So I brought him home.” He frowns. “This is his home, right?”

“I don’t know,” Li Cu says.

“Yes,” Wu Xie says quickly. “Yes, you brought him to the right place. Sorry, he’s been a little out of it lately. Stress at school, you know. Not sleeping very well.”

“How’d you know that?” Li Cu asks in surprise, because as far as he can remember, he hasn’t seen Wu Xie since before the Wang compound. There’s a fuzzy memory of an apology, of being carried, but after he’d been thrown out the window, he woke up on a train.

He glares at the windows to the side of the house. He does not trust them.

Wu Xie gathers him by the shoulders and pulls him through the doorway. “Thank you, officer. I’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

“Okay…” the police officer says. “Um. Get some rest, kid.”

“Mmm hmm,” Li Cu mumbles, even though he knows that probably won’t happen, and Wu Xie shuts the door.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks. “You’re supposed to be at home.”

“I dunno where it is,” Li Cu says. He yawns, widely. How long has it been since he slept? He has no idea.

“You don’t know where your house is?” Wu Xie says slowly, like he’s trying to figure something out. He’ll be able to do it. Wu Xie has a Big Brain.

“My house is where my house is,” Li Cu says vaguely. “I dunno where’s home.”

Wu Xie goes silent for a moment. “I see.”

Li Cu blinks himself into less of a stupor, figures out where his hands went (they were on the end of his arms). “I’ll go back there, I guess. Sorry.”

“No, no, wait,” Wu Xie says, which is funny, because Li Cu hasn’t moved. “It’s late. You’re… really tired. We have a couch.”

“Good for you,” Li Cu congratulates him.

Wu Xie closes his eyes for a second, gritting his teeth. “The couch is for you.”

“You’re giving me a couch?”

“Oh my god,” Wu Xie says.

The Person-Who-Calls-Him-Ya-Li laughs. “You sure chose a good one, Tianzhen.”

“Shut up, Pangzi,” Wu Xie mutters, because apparently he is this Tianzhen person.

“Make him take a nap for an hour,” Pangzi says, wandering off down the hall. “Then dinner’ll be ready.”

“We had dinner earlier,” Wu Xie calls after him.

Pangzi stops, looks at Wu Xie pointedly. “Nope. Dinner. In an hour. So the kid can join us.”

“Oh,” Wu Xie says. “Oh, right. Yeah. Dinner.”

Li Cu might puzzle through this if he were more awake, but he’s really not. “What?”

Wu Xie sighs at him. Li Cu should really stop making him do that. “Alright,” he says, “Come with me.”

Li Cu dutifully follows Wu Xie down the hallway, because he’s followed Wu Xie into worse places.

They come out into a wide-open room, full of books and random vases and boxes of papers and bits and bobs. Sure enough, there’s a couch there, and Wu Xie steers Li Cu over to it, pushing against his shoulders gently to make him sit. The couch is pretty soft, a well-worn type of feel to it, like someone has sat here every day for years and years and filled it full of memories.

“I’m not going to ask if you need to be hom—back at your place, because I really doubt it,” Wu Xie tells him. His voice is coming from below Li Cu’s ears, so Li Cu looks down to see Wu Xie pulling off one of his boots, so Li Cu flops over his knees to pull of the other one, but his fingers get tangled in the laces, and he gives up and lets Wu Xie do it.

Wu Xie sighs at him. He takes Li Cu’s backpack and puts it next to the coffee table, where Li Cu can see it. He appreciates that. It’s good to know where things are. If you know where your things are, you can’t lose them. If you know where snakes are, they can’t bite you. If you know where Wu Xie is, you don’t have to miss him.

“Lie down,” Wu Xie says softly, and the couch really is comfortable, so Li Cu tentatively pulls his legs up and sets his head down and gazes at the lamp next to an armchair.

Wu Xie drags the throw blanket from the back of the couch and settles it around Li Cu’s body, which might be a little overkill, because Li Cu isn’t going to be here that long, he’s just going to rest for a moment, and then he’ll leave. Then he’ll get out of Wu Xie’s way. He’ll go back. Just a few minutes.

Wu Xie straightens up, grunting a little bit, and Li Cu almost says, don’t go, but he bites his tongue. He can’t ask that much of Wu Xie. Wu Xie’s already giving him a couch.

But then, Wu Xie doesn’t leave. He goes over to the armchair, picks up the notebook lying tent-style over its arm, flips through it. Someone’s glasses are on the end table, and that someone turns out to be Wu Xie, because they go on his nose as he takes in whatever the journal says, chewing the inside of his cheek absently and tapping a pattern out on his knee.

Li Cu blinks, slowly. Wu Xie is warm and marvelous, he thinks. He’s fading into a soft glow, backlit by a warm light that reminds Li Cu of something, something good, something he thought he lost, but maybe not. Maybe not.

He falls asleep and dreams he’s home.

#alsdighalskdfj i made myself sad #writing #my writing #fic #dmbj #li cu #wu xie #pangzi #there's a cop in here and he's nice ig but fuck the police #just putting that out there #anyway #prompt fill #ask tag #dad!xie rights #the lost tomb #tomb of the sea #sha hai

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softyoongiionly · 4 years

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Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Sixteen

(GIF does not belong to me, my friend sent it to me over text! If anyone knows who made it, please let me know :) )

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, College! Yoongi, Sub! Yoongi

Word Count: 8.5k

A/N: the love I have for this man is absolutely ridiculous. I have missed this series so much. I hope you love what I’ve done with the place ;) This is such an important chapter that I’ve been planning for the longest time. I hope you like it and, if you do: please please let me know!

NOTE: ALL BOLDED WORDS INDICATE WHEN CHARACTERS ARE SPEAKING KOREAN

Warnings for this Chapter: ok here we go...(TRIGGER WARNING)

minor angst, mentions of anxiety, mentions of criminal activity, mentions of bad parenting and abuse, mentions of trauma and related consequences, language, drug use, smut (holy heck the smut is ALOT).

Chapter Sixteen: The Past and The Present

You’ve never seen Yoongi angry before

Frustrated? Yes.

Annoyed? Often.

Stressed? Aren’t we all?

But, never angry.

He is pissed and, he has a perfectly good reason to be.

A short phone call from his dear friend Sejin left him flushed and furious.

The reason being? Sejin has just informed Yoongi that due to a recent rent increase, Sejin can no longer afford to keep SoundCrowd open.

“We’re going to figure this out ok? This isn’t over. I’ll talk to you later...”

The two of you had been watching a movie when he called and, your finger finally moves from the pause button as he hangs up his call.

You don’t think you’re going to be finishing it tonight.

“Yoongi-“

“What the fuck?” His voice is sharp, the fury clear in his rhetorical question as he turns to you, “What the fuck?”

Your hand twitches with the urge to touch him, to soothe him in some way but, Yoongi pushes himself off the couch by the time you try.

“I- I’ve been going to that building for 10 years. Sejin always pays his rent on time, he won’t even eat sometimes just to make sure his bills are paid and, this?? This is how they repay him? Are they serious? How can they just kick him to the side like this? What is he supposed to do? Fu- fuck what am I supposed to do?” Yoongi exhales, raking a hand through his hair as he seems to search helplessly around the room for answers.

Yoongi was supposed to work for Sejin after he graduated.

“Babe, I’m so sorry I- his landlord can’t just do that right? That doesn’t make any sense.” You offer, biting your lip as a humorless laugh leaves Yoongi’s lips.

“Of course he can, that’s what people like him do right? They gotta make their money. Who gives a shit about this guy and his livelihood? As long as he’s filling his pockets and, collecting his checks- he doesn’t give a single fuck about people like Seijin.”

Yoongi is blistering.

He isn't raising his voice at you but, the intensity of his emotions is getting the better of him.

“This isn’t right. There’s gotta be something we can do to help him, we can talk to Jin maybe? His dad’s a lawyer and-”

“I have to go. I’m gonna go down there and, see if I can talk to the landlord. I have money in savings, I don’t know- maybe he’ll take a bribe or something.” Yoongi interrupts you, completely disregarding your presence all together as he starts to grab his keys.

You don’t want to admit it but, his behavior is hurting your feelings.

You know he’s upset and, you want to respect that but, he’s closing himself off.

Just like he used to...

“Well, let me get my shoes on and I’ll come. You shouldn’t go alone and you shouldn’t have to pay this asshole off. We just need to-”

“I don’t need your help Y/N.” Yoongi’s tone is final, leaving no room for negotiation as his words hit you right in the gut, “I’ll text you later. I’m sorry about the movie.”

With your mouth parted in shock, all you can do is nod as your boyfriend disappears through your front door.

You can honestly say it’s the first time that Yoongi’s ever hurt your feelings.

Like, really really hurt your feelings.

Like, now you’re crying on the couch thinking about why you just became the scapegoat for his frustration.

It’s normal for people to get short when they are upset but, you can’t seem to understand why he treated you that way.

You thought you were passed all of this but apparently, you were wrong.

Part of you is telling yourself not to take it personally.

Whilst the other part of you is wondering why he’s still shutting you out.

Even after everything you’ve been through...

You decide to give him some space.

He’s only human.

Sometimes, we need time to process things on our own.

The sinking feeling in your stomach doesn’t leave you though and, you try and busy yourself with a few household chores before eventually succumbing to the sadness you feel and crying again.

It be like that.

You sent him a text shortly after he left that read:

You: I’m sorry if I pushed a little too hard. Please let me know if/when you need anything. I love you.

He still hasn’t responded.

In an effort to thwart the flurry of emotions in your heart, you end up falling asleep on the couch, hoping that he would respond by the time you wake up.

Instead, you are awoken by him calling you.

“Hello?” You can hear the grogginess in your voice and, Yoongi picks up on it immediately.

“Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, sorry I took a little nap after I cleaned up.”

Your hand is over your mouth as you cover up the sound of your yawn whilst Yoongi rushes out his reply.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I can’t believe I talked to you like that. I’m r-really sorry. I was so angry and I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” His voice is tighter as if he’s staving off his emotions and, it makes you wanna cry a little bit, “Then I just left? I feel like such a dick...I just didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to go and, I wasn’t thinking.”

“I get it, you just found out some really shitty news. I don’t blame you for being angry at all but, it-” You take a deep breath, attempting to reign in your hurt a little bit before continuing, “it did hurt that you just left like that. I would have given you space if you needed it, I just wish you would have told me instead of shutting me out.”

You can hear him sniffle on the other end of the line.

He’s a little devasted that he hurt you but, he isn’t going to make that the focal point of this conversation.

He just wants to make it right.

“You’re right. I’m so sorry jagiya. I just freaked out...”He sniffles again, the rawness in his voice apparent, “I’m still freaking out and instead of letting you support me, I left and now I feel like an idiot.”

You wipe your eyes, nodding throughout the duration of his sentence, “You're not an idiot at all. I’m still here and, I’m willing to figure this out with you. I just need you to let me ok? I want to help. Where are you right now?”

“I’m at my house. I talked to Sejin for awhile and, I guess he said the landlord is coming by next week to discuss the contract with him. He asked me to be there as a witness and, if you’re alright with it, I would really like it if you came too...”

“Of course.” You smile softly, “Do you want-”

“Can you come over?” Yoongi’s voice cracks finally as you hear him break down on the other end of the line.

Your heart follows suit as you immediately stand up and, head to your bedroom.

“I’m on my way.”

----------------

“Come here.” You whisper as your boyfriend opens his bedroom door, pulling him against your chest.

He’s dressed in a hoodie and his boxers, his hair completely disorganized due to the amount of time he’s probably messed with it.

“Jagi, I’m really sorry.” He’s all choked up when he buries his face in your neck and, you’re quick to rub tenderly at his lower back.

“Hey- I forgive you ok? Everyone has their moments baby, don’t be so hard on yourself.” You kiss the side of his face, kicking the door shut before ushering him towards the bed.

“I’m so scared...” He’s whispering now, his voice barely audible as he seems to cling onto the material of your t-shirt, “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know how I’m gonna help him.”

Tilting his chin, you level with him, “We’re going to go there next week and, talk to this guy and, see what we can work out. The city instituted a law three months ago stating that rent increases have to be preapproved by the tenant, the landlord and, the property association. That’s what I was trying to tell you before you left.”

Yoongi winces, sighing as he shakes his head, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I just-” He glances towards you, a bit of apprehension in his eyes, “I’m not used to having someone around when shit like this goes down. I’m still really bad at relying on people and trusting them with my feelings. All I wanted to do was cry and, I didn’t want you to see that.”

Placing a hand on his, you attempt to lock eyes with him, “Yoongi, I’m your girlfriend. I love you and, I’m not just in this for the good times. I’m in this for the bad times too. I get that it’s your instinct to close yourself off and handle things yourself but, if you want support I’m always here for you.”

Yoongi pulls you in for a hug then, tucking his face into your neck. He takes a deep breath but, he says nothing.

He just holds you.

The silence is natural and holds no expectation.

You’d hug him all night if he needed you to.

Finally, Yoongi does speak and although he could pour his heart out to you right now, he decides to stick with the words that mean the most.

“I love you too.”

The two of you end up falling asleep together shortly after that.

Yoongi’s head is on your chest and the sensation of running your fingers through his hair is enough to lull you into a comfortable slumber.

Despite the stress of the day, you both sleep through the night.

Sleeping next to Yoongi brings you an immense amount of comfort.

It just feels right.

You wish you could sleep next to him every night.

The next morning when you awake, you realize very quickly that you’re alone.

Yoongi doesn’t appear to be anywhere in sight and in your slightly worried state, you decide to stumble out of bed to look for him.

“I can pick up for you if you want, you look like shit.”

“Thanks, that’s exactly what I wanna hear right now.”

“You know what I mean. Hyung, she’s not gonna care, I don’t know why you’re freaking out about this.”

“You don’t know that.”

“No I don’t but, it’s Y/N. She’s doesn’t come across as the judgmental type. I do think it’s kinda weird you haven’t told her yet though, that might be the only thing she’ll have an issue with...”

“That’s why I’m worried. I feel like after everything we’ve been through, I should have been able to tell her this by now...”

“Why haven’t you?”

“I don’t like talking about it.”

“The weed or your parents?”

“Both. I mean, I don’t know- the weed isn't that bad I guess but, I don’t want her to feel like I lied to her you know?”

“You didn’t lie. You guys just started dating. I’m sure there are plenty of things that you don’t know about her.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of- I feel like everything is always about me. I feel like I never ask about her...”

You know it’s wrong to eavesdrop but, you feel frozen in place, compelled by your own curiosity.

You have a million questions running through your head.

“I have to think about Sejin right now. I’ll smoke later on after I’ve had a chance to talk with her or something. I don’t know. She’s probably up right now, I should go check on her.”

“Take care Hyung, let me know if you need anything.”

Yoongi makes good on his plans to check on you and, thankfully you make it back to the bedroom before he realizes that you were listening in on his conversation.

The rest of the morning goes as planned.

After grabbing coffee, Yoongi heads to SoundCrowd to ensure that Sejin doesn’t have an eviction notice on his door.

He doesn’t say much on the drive there; he merely holds your hand tightly on the center console, occasionally brushing his thumb over the back of your knuckles.

It’s a little unnerving and the confrontational part of you wishes to break the silence but, you decide that now isn't really the time to bring up Yoongi’s conversation with Hoseok.

Thankfully, Sejin’s door remains free of an eviction notice and, Yoongi visibly lets out a sigh of relief at the sight.

You’re assuming the text he begins sending is to Sejin but, you don’t allow your gaze to linger long enough to find out.

Upon pulling away from the studio, he lets out a breathy sigh before finally speaking up

“What are you doing this weekend?”

You cock your head, “This weekend as in tomorrow? Or this weekend as in next weekend?”

Yoongi’s lips twitch at your question, “This weekend as in tomorrow.”

“I was just planning on getting everything ready for graduation. I have a tenant coming to look at my apartment in three weeks so I figured I should probably attempt to scrub the spaghetti stain off the back of the fridge...”

He chuckles warmly and shakes his head, “Aside from explaining how you managed to get spaghetti on the back of the fridge, I was wondering if you wanted to uh- go somewhere with me.”

“Somewhere as in?”

“Daegu.”

Your heart skips a beat then, wondering exactly what brought on his sudden invitation.

With parted lips, you attempt to answer him immediately but, your words fail you.

Yoongi’s teeth find a spot on his lower lip whilst he pulls out of his parking spot.

He can sense your confusion and he knows he can’t get away with asking you back to his hometown without an explanation.

“I need to go see my brother. He-” Yoongi sighs, glancing toward you, “He might be able to help Sejin if I let him know what’s going on.”

This only adds to your list of questions but, thankfully your brain hones in on the key part of this conversation:

“You want me to meet your brother?”

Yoongi hears the sincerity in your tone and it pulls his attention towards you.

“I do. If you’re comfortable with it, of course.”

Squeezing his hand a little tighter, you nod, a small smile forming on your lips, “I’m more than comfortable with it. I would love to meet your brother. When were you planning on leaving?”

Yoongi’s heart sings with your acceptance but, the only evidence of this is a small smile that emerges on his lips.

“I was gonna leave tomorrow. My brother has uh- he has miles on this airline I can use and, theres more than enough for you too. I know it’s last minute but-”

“I love last minute.” You cut him off, clasping your hands together, “I just need to go back to my apartment to pack and feed Marizpan. I’ll text Jimin and let him know that I’ll be gone this weekend. Does your brother like anything from our area? Should we bring him something?”

Yoongi’s raspy laughter fills the confines of the car as he shakes his head, “I should have known that you’d be down for this kind of thing. If I was in your position, I’d be having a heart attack right now.”

You smile at the sound of his laugh, “Oh I’m sure the panic will set in shortly. But honestly, I’m more focused on the fact that you want me to meet your brother. It means a lot to me that you want me there.”

He squeezes your hand again and, you take a moment to admire the way he looks while he’s driving. Messy black hair, eyes slightly puffy from all the emotion, lips in desperate need of chapstick (and a kiss) and, his long spindly fingers carefully handling the wheel.

He’s truly out of this world.

“It means a lot that you want to be there.” He retorts but, there is something amiss within his gaze and you can’t help but remember the conversation you overheard earlier.

There is a beat or two of silence before the two of you break it at the exact same time.

“There’s something I-”

“Hey I-”

“Wait you go first.”

“No, I’m sorry. You go...” You insist, your heartrate picking up uncomfortably in your chest.

Yoongi sighs, dark eyes flitting over to you once or twice before he seems to hyperfocus on the road in front of him.

“There’s something, well- there are a few things I need to tell you before we go.”

Upon glancing away from him and back towards the streets in front of you, you notice that he’s heading towards your apartment.

Part of you is glad that the two of you don’t have to separate for the duration of the weekend but, another (larger) part is very nervous about the information Yoongi has yet to share.

Yoongi takes your silence as an invitation to continue but, he doesn’t exactly know where to start.

“There’s kind of a lot that you don’t know about me. It’s nothing I’ve hid intentionally but, I was waiting until it made sense to tell you I guess...” He rakes a free hand through his hair before a rather noticeable tightness arrests his features, “My brother is the only member of my family I still talk to but, it’s not just because they don’t approve of my music.”

You keep your hand firmly entangled with his and with the slight shift in his tone, you reassuringly thumb over his knuckles.

“Uh it’s kind of a lot to explain but- um...” His mouth hangs open as he hesitates between words. Despite the fact that you’re 2 minutes from your apartment, Yoongi looks eagerly at an alleyway, “I’m sorry, do you care if I pull over? I don’t think I can talk about this while I’m driving and, I just really need to get this out because, I’m kind of scared that you’re going to be mad at me and I-”

“Hey- hey...Yoongi it’s ok.You can pull over baby, there’s an alley right here.” You turn in your seat so you can get a proper look at him as he quickly zooms between the ramen shop and the liquor store.

You’ve never seen him look so nervous before and, it’s starting to freak you out a little bit.

He attempts to draw in a shaky breath through his nose as he hastily puts his car in park. For a moment, he seems to gather his thoughts, lips pursing in contemplation whilst he wipes a hand over his face.

At last, he turns slightly to unbuckle his seatbelt before he finally allows his eyes to flit to your face.

You shift again so you’re mostly turned towards him and squeeze his hand once more to encourage him to continue.

“My parents didn’t just kick me out because they found out I was doing music. They kicked me out because I refused to join the family business-” He gathers the courage to look you dead in the eye because, despite his fear, he knows you deserve that level of respect, “and the family business is the within the largest criminal empire Daegu has ever seen.”

Your heart seems to stall in your chest then, your throat drying up with shock as you attempt to take in what he’s saying.

He brings your hand closer to him, wishing desperately that he could guarantee your presence after his explanation.

But he knows he can’t.

“My parents run a counterfeit operation that basically operates as a gang. They don’t call themselves that but that’s what it is. They produce fake currency, participate in insider trading, they steal, they lie, they’ve-” He swallows, subconciously bringing your hand closer to him once again, “-killed. When I turned 15, my father told me that I’d have to start training to take over but, after everything I had seen. I knew I didn’t want to.”

“When I told you my parents kicked me out, I wasn’t lying but, I didn’t exactly tell you the whole story. I told you that when they found my lyrics, they freaked out on me, which they did but, it was only after they had spent 6 months trying to bribe me into training.” He licks his lips, his eyes still trained on you as they try and decipher the thoughts running through your head. The truth is, your mind is completely blank at the moment.

“They bought me everything I wanted: cars, clothes, jewelry, they had another wing added to our house for me; they tried everything. I was considering it for a while, my parents didn’t start their operations until I was 9 or 10. I spent the first decade of my life in poverty until things began to turn around. At the time, I didn’t know why but, I figured it out when I was starting high school. My parents had gone insane with power. They got my entire family involved, even my brother. I didn’t blame them at the time; we were so poor our whole life and then suddenly we were rich. I didn’t want it to end but, then I realized- what the cost of our wealth really was.” Yoongi’s a bit breathless as the words just seem to tumble off of his tongue but, he’s unsure how coherent he really sounds.

Nevertheless, he continues.

He wants to get it over with already.

“One night, when I was sneaking back in through the front gates, I heard something that would solidify my choice.” Yoongi swallows, his hand tightening almost painfully within yours, “My parents must have been on the phone with one of their allies or something but all I heard was a direct order coming from my father ‘kill them all’ he said, ‘every single one of them.’ The next day when I woke up, my brother was shoving his phone in my face. It was a news article about a homicide in another district. I wanted to throw up. I knew it was them. He knew too. We shared this pain between us but, unlike my brother. I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. I had to say something.” His voice is growing unsteady with every passing word and although you have a million questions, all you want him to know is that you’re still here.

“When I confronted my father, he went crazy on me. He had been up for a few days, probably strung out on something and, he beat the shit out of me. That’s when he destroyed my lyrics. He left everything else untouched but my laptop and my pages. He wanted to hurt me in any way he could because, he knew that I wasn’t going to follow in his footsteps. He told me I should be ashamed of myself for accusing them of being involved with the murder but, Y/N-” He’s voice his hoarse now, his sad eyes lined red with emotion as he shoots a desperate look towards you, “It had to be them. It’s the only thing that made sense. After he was finished with me, he told me I had a choice. He said ‘Yoongi, you can either stay here and start contributing to this family or you can disappear with nothing but the clothes on your back.’ So I made my choice. I lived on the streets for awhile until my brother found me one night, he told me about Sejin and tried to set me up with some money but, I wouldn’t take anything from him. Every bit of money my family has, has blood on it. I accepted his offer to live at Sejin’s place and, every thing else I already told you that night at my studio but, I didn’t know how to tell you all of this...I tried to put it all behind me for so long but, now that Sejin is in trouble- I have to go back. My brother left the business too but, he took money with him. He’s loaded and, I know if he knew about Sejin, he’d want to help out. I don’t know- fuck please just tell me what you’re thinking. I know you’re probably mad at me and that’s completely ok- I just didn’t know how to tell you...”

You are honestly shocked by Yoongi’s confession but, you can’t say that you’re mad at him.

You understand that this extremely complicated.

You don’t think you’d necessarily want to share it either.

Looking at your boyfriend now, your heart breaks.

His expression is akin to a man completely torn apart. He looks lost, broken, frightened: everything you don’t want him to be.

You do what comes naturally because, words are not appropriate right now.

Dropping his hand intially alarms him but, when you lean across the center console to pull him against your chest, he can’t help but break down.

He cries.

No, he doesn’t cry- he sobs.

His hands come up to cling to you, the tension in his grip signifying that he’s desperately afraid of letting you go.

With each rigged intake of breath, Yoongi seems to cry harder into your neck, staining the color of your shirt with his tears.

“My life was so miserable Y/N. I didn’t know how to tell you how bad it was- my whole life. I’m sorry I was such a coward. I’m so sorry I- I didn’t know how to say it. I just wanted you to think I was normal.” He cries and with every word, you hold him tighter.

With every word, your heart breaks.

“You are not a coward Min Yoongi. You are the strongest person I know.” You whisper into his ear, teary eyed yourself as you do your best to hold it together.

“I’m so sorry jagiya...” Yoongi cries, his voice nearly dropping to a whisper, the nape of his neck slick with sweat due to the anxiety he feels.

He is still so terrified of losing you.

“You have nothing to be sorry for- look at me...” You command softly, guiding his face out of your neck and cupping it between your palms, “None of this is your fault. I understand why you wouldn’t want to tell me. This is a lot to take in but, baby this isn’t your burden to bear. You aren’t responsible for the choices your parents have made...”

“I don’t come from a good life Y/N. I come from such a horrible family. My family never showed me love, they never showed eachother love. They are bad people and, you deserve more than a man who comes from that. You deserve someone who has a normal family. You deserve more than me...”

“Yoongi, listen to me right now. You are the most incredible man I have ever met. You are smart and brave and selfless and clever and kind and so so special and, I’m not going to sit here and listen to you punish yourself for your parent’s mistakes. They had a beautiful son that they neglected. They created this warped version of yourself that apparently doesn’t deserve love and happiness but that’s bullshit ok?” You’re crying too now because, you want to drive this point home, you want him to know the truth, and believe it.

Everything starts to make sense now.

Yoongi resists affection because he doesn’t think he deserves it.

He’s denied himself happiness so long because, he doesn’t think he’s worth the trouble.

You need him to know that he is.

He’s worth so much more than he realizes.

“It’s such bullshit...” You repeat, kissing between his eyes which still flow steadily with tears, his breathing is still so uneven but, he’s hanging on every word you say, “You deserve everything you want. You deserve to be loved. I’m so sorry you had to live like that. I’m so sorry that they never told you how incredible you are but, that doesn’t make it any less true.”

His face crumbles under the weight of your words, his hands coming up to brush against the outside of yours, “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t intentional, you just made me forget how things used to be. I just wanted to pretend like it never happened.”

You understand that.

There are things in your life that you wish you could forget.

Yoongi eases so much of your troubles that you could empathize with his decision to brush all of this under the rug.

You’ve both been basking in the warm glow of your first love that it was easy to forget what life was like before one another.

But it doesn’t mean it never happened.

“The last I heard, my parents had slowed down a bit. They told my brother that they were starting to liquify their assets. I guess he’s getting quite a bit of money from that. It seemed less important when he told me that. I felt like maybe I could just move on but, I realized when I started dating you how much of it really stuck with me. Plus, I felt like I was lying to you. I never want to make you feel like I’m hiding things from you. The only other people that know about this are Namjoon and Hoseok and, Hoseok found out cause he overheard Namjoon and I talking about it.”

You lean forward once again to place a kiss between his eyes before pulling him back into your arms.

“I hear you. You’re not wrong for waiting to tell me. I’m just sorry you had to deal with all of this internal struggle. I think we forget that we’ve only been dating a few months because of how quickly we fell for eachother. There are things you don’t know about me too you know? Nothing as intense as being the offspring of two criminal masterminds buuuuut you know, still...”

Your attempt to slowly lighten the mood works as a small chuckle is felt within the crook of your neck along with the pinching of your hips.

“I want to know everything about you.” He murmurs, wrapping his arms around your waist.

Kissing the side of his head, you smile, “It’s a good thing we have so much time then.”

This finally prompts a smile to appear on his face and, although you can’t see it, you can feel it.

“I love you so much.” Yoongi whispers, placing a kiss on the side of your neck

----------------------------------------

The two of you head back to Yoongi’s house shortly after you pack your things.

Yoongi doesn’t leave your side the entire time, other than to use your bathroom to wash his face and even then, he leaves the door open the whole time.

After your bags are ready to go, the two of you decide that staying at Yoongi’s place is best since he leaves a little closer to the airport.

Yoongi booked your flight whilst you were packing and managed to find a flight leaving at 1:20pm the next day.

He didn’t even look at earlier flights because, there is no way he’s getting up before 9am tomorrow, especially not after everything that’s happened today.

It’s not long before Yoongi is unlocking his front door and as he does, something new graces your senses.

It’s an unmistakeable smell and, immediately Yoongi’s eyes widen as he takes his first breath.

“Yah Hoseok?? Why does it smell like shit in my house?” Yoongi calls and leads you toward the living room.

“I told you I was picking up, and that smell is the sign I got the good shit! Come hit this hyung, its fucking gooood.” Hoseok calls back and immediately you start giggling

“Yeah Yoongi, go hit that.” You tease, his earlier conversation with Hoseok making a lot more sense now, “I didn’t know you smoked weed...”

“Did you tell your girlfriend yet or what?” Hoseok calls again and Yoongi’s cheeks are practically on fire at this point as he braves a glance towards you.

“No but you just did pabo...” Yoongi grumbles as he finally leads the two of you into the living room.

Hoseok and Namjoon are spread out on the couch, there eyes completely bloodshot, heavy with the evidence that they had been smoking for awhile. Namjoon chuckles lowly and shakes his head, “Yah, you’re so fucking loud. How do you have the energy to yell after how much we just smoked?” Namjoon smiles pleasantly at you, raising a hand politely, “Hi, Y/N. How are you?”

You smirk, putting your arm around Yoongi’s shoulders, “Hi guys. I’m good, I’d ask how the two of you were doing but, I think I have my answer.”

Yoongi groans before turning towards you quickly, tugging you so your body is pressed against his, “I was gonna tell you too but-”

“Before he starts groveling at your feet,” Namjoon interrupts, “He stopped smoking when he realized he liked you. He hasn’t done anything since because, he was worried that you wouldn’t like it. He was planning on telling you when he asked you to be his girlfriend, which was literally like a week ago so, I’m sure he was gonna tell you soon. But to answer your question, yes your boyfriend smokes weed. A lot of weed.”

Yoongi anxiously scans your face for any sign of disapproval but, all he gets is a tilted chin a kiss on his lips.

“Wow, you’re cute.”

He furrows his brows, “You’re not mad?”

You giggle as you shake your head, gesturing to the couch, “Yoongi, you’ve met my friends. Taehyung and Jungkook might as well change their names to Jay and Silent Bob...”

“Yooo that’s what I always say about Yoongi and I!” Hoseok cackles, as he points at you, the sound of his voice causing Namjoon to wince.

“Hoseok-ah, lower your voice, you’re ruining my high.” He chuckles before nodding to the table, “See? There you go Hyung, now come over here and smoke this shit with us, you look like you need it.”

Yoongi looks relieved but, he’s still apprehensive, “You promise you’re cool with it? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable...”

Another giggle leaves you lips as you start tugging him towards the couch, setting your bag on the kitchen counter, “It’s really sweet that you’ve considered my feelings in all of this but, smoking weed isn’t a big deal to me. My family smokes all the time. It’s just not for me because, I have baby lungs but, I have no issue with you smoking it.”

“Yahhh that’s good shit right there, see hyung? I told you she’d be chill with it. Now come sit down, I’ll pack a bowl for you.” Hoseok smiles, finally heeding Namjoon’s request and lowering his voice.

A small smile is on your boyfriend’s lips then as he looks towards you once again, “Love you...” He mumbles before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You nestle into the corner of their couch whilst Hoseok thoughtfully packs the clusters of weed into a solid black, glass pipe.

“Is that my piece?” Yoongi asks with an arched brow and Hoseok merely shrugs

“You havent been using it and this shit was expensive so Joon and I snagged it from you. You can have it back if you’re gonna start smoking again but other than that, I’m keeping it.”

“You can’t keep it, that was his birthday present.” Namjoon grumbles, playfully hitting Hoseok’s thigh.

Yoongi licks his lips as takes a spot next you, mindlessly rubbing his hand over your bended knee, “I want it either way. Don’t take my shit.” He smirks before jerking his head to the pipe, “Let me see it, you’re not packing it right.”

“Right? That’s what I’m saying, he packs it too thin!” Namjoon exclaims, his hand resting on his stomach

“Fuck off, if I pack it so thin, why are you stoned out of your mind right now?”

Namjoon chuckles again, tilting his head in agreement, “Because I haven’t smoked in awhile either, med school fucked my tolerance up.”

Namjoon and Hoseok’s dialogue seems to fade in the background as your attentions hones in on Yoongi.

His black hair is falling in his face while he tries to save the “poor” job Hoseok was doing. He has his tongue poking between his lips whilst he concentrates, his fingers delicately working the weed where he feels it belongs.

He keeps twitching his nose and jerking his head to the side, trying to get his hair out of his face until finally you reach out and tuck the strand behind his ear.

Yoongi instantly grins as you do and turns to the side and playfully snaps his teeth at your fingers.

“Heyyy, I’m trying to help you...” You giggle, “I don’t want you to smoke your hair.”

“I got this.” He assures you before timid eyes land on you once more, “Are you sure you’re good with this?”

“I promise.” You assure him for the millionth time before reaching towards the coffee table to hand him a lighter, “Here.”

Yoongi smirks shyly as he mumbles a thank you before raising the pipe to his lips.

He raises the lighter to the nest of green positioned to his liking before using his thumb to set it on fire. As he inhales deeply, his eyes flutter shut while his chest puffs out with the force of his breath.

Within 10 seconds or so, he’s pulling away, pausing for a second before exhaling a thick cloud of smoke.

“Fuck me...” He chuckle deeply, smoke still rushing out of his lips, “That is good shit. Who did you pick up from?”

“Right?” Hoseok laughs, flopping back against the couch, “It’s one of Jin’s friends, he started growing recently so, I wanted to help him get started. I need to tell him to keep doing what he’s doing.”

Yoongi just nods before using the butt of the lighter to press the bud down. Within a few seconds, he’s lighting up again, the hair you tucked behind his ear quickly falling in his face again.

You really can’t help yourself.

You feel like a such a cliché right now but, there is something so hot about watching Yoongi smoke.

He looks like every bad boy in every single shitty romance novel and, god you can’t help but press your thighs together at the sight.

Yoongi tilts his head back, exposing the long column of his throat as he exhales another hit, a smirk hanging on the end of lips.

His adams apple bobs as he swallows back a cough before slumping against the cushions.

“Here-” He hands the pipe back to Hoseok, “I think I’m good right now, it’s already kicking in.”

You’re practically drooling at the sight of your boyfriend right now but, you don’t want to be too obvious.

Between Namjoon’s observation skills and Hoseok’s bluntness, you’re doomed to be called out if you don’t reign it in.

“I told you hyung, this guy is the new plug. Y/N...” Hoseok holds the pipe up, “Are you sure you don’t want any?”

“No I-” Your voice comes out awfully squeaky and it immediately causes Yoongi to turn his head towards you. Clearing your throat, you continue, “No, I’m good thank you. Can I have some water though? My throat is really dry.”

Yoongi shoots up immediately, “Shit jagi, I’m sorry. I didn’t offer you anything. I’ll get it right now. You sure you want water? I can make you a drink or we have gatorade and some sprite too.”

His eyes are definitely heavier with the slightest tint of red but, they still hold the same bit of attentiveness they always do.

“Water is good babe, thank you.”

Hoseok grins, “Whiiiippppeeeddddd.” He slurs and Namjoon chuckles but, otherwise keeps quiet.

Yoongi merely smirks before heading over to the kitchen to get you a bottle of water.

“You’re being too informal.” He admonishes, still smirking as his face is illuminated by the light from the fridge, “Just one jagi?”

He holds up a bottle of water, his eyes holding a bit more sweetness as he directs his attention towards you.

“One is perfect.” You giggle at their banter, tucking yourself further into the couch, already wishing for Yoongi to be back beside you.

“One is perfect babyyyy...” Hoseok cackles again, the effects of the weed likely increasing his usual nature.

“Shut up.” You laugh again, smacking his shoulder lightly.

“Yah hyung! Your girlfriend is over here smacking me around!” Hoseok yells again despite the fact that Yoongi is literally in the same room.

“Hoseok-ahhhhhh...” Namjoon whines, putting a pillow over his face, “Stop yelling bro, it’s too fucking loud.”

Hoseok is still giggling, despite his hyung’s warnings as Yoongi finally returns from the kitchen.

“Seriously...” He mumbles in agreement as he hands you the water but, as you reach out to take it, he slumps beside you and takes your wrist in his hand,lowering his tone, “Yah, I’m the only one you should be smacking around yeah?”

His eyes are hooded, his lips still upturned in a smirk as he unscrews the cap for you, holding it out to your lips, “Here’s your water jagiya...”

For once, you’re a little speechless but, you take his offer anyway, securing your lips around the water bottle.

His eyes linger as you take a few sips from it before he screws the cap back on for you, setting back on the coffee table.

“You’re bad.” You giggle, impressed by Yoongi’s boldness

He just grins, cat-like as ever, and lays his head in your lap, subtly nuzzling against your thigh.

“This shit is going to put your boyfriend to sleep, Y/N so be prepared to carry his ass off to bed in a bit.” Namjoon comments, smirking almost fondly at his hyung.

“I’m prepared.” You snicker and, just like Yoongi, you lower your voice to a volume just for him, “I thought putting you to sleep was my job?”

With your teasing question, you run your fingers through his hair and much to your delight, a shiver runs down his spine.

He nuzzles further into your thigh, his hand gripping the outside of it whilst he replies, “It still is.”

It’s all he can muster up for now but, you don’t miss the glint in his eyes before they flutter shut.

The TV has been on since you’ve arrived but Hoseok finally changes the channel and, you continue you running your digits through your boyfriends silky locks.

This goes on for quite some time until your touch begins to have an unexpected effect on your boyfriend’s resolve.

Having you play with his hair when he’s sober is amazing/comforting but, it’s intensified due to his intoxication and the sensations are turning him on.

It’s not long until you both end up in his bedroom and as soon as he shuts the door, he’s pressing you up against it.

With a dark chuckle, he’s kissing at your mouth, taking a deep breath as he allows his hands to explore your body.

“God you really know how to get my dick hard don’t you?”

You laugh into his lips, kissing him back eagerly as your hands push his jacket off of his shoulders, “Is your dick hard right now?”

It’s a bullshit question.

You already know he’s hard.

You could tell by the way he walked you awkwardly into his room.

“I don’t know-” He teases, pressing his hips against yours, allowing you to feel the tightness in his jeans, “What do you think?”

Your mouth waters at the feeling of him, your hand quickly travelling down to rub over his dick.

“Fuck-” Yoongi hisses, his head falling forward onto your shoulder.

“You feel hard to me.” You whisper in his ear, nibbling on the shell of it, enjoying the way he trembles for you.

“I’m so sensitive right now- jesus christ.” He mutters, mostly to himself before kissing up your neck.

With his hips pressed to your hand, he brings his heavy gaze to yours, a smirk crawling it’s way onto his lips, “Is this ready for me right now?” He practically coos, sliding his hand from your hip to the ache between your legs, cupping your pussy.

After the past few days he’s had, you don’t have the urge to tease him.

All you want to do is fuck his brains out.

“Mhm...” You hum, kissing at his lips as you slowly begin to back him up towards the bed. “Right now.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles again, his eyes heavier due to the lust and the weed coursing through his body, “Will you come ride this dick for me then?”

Whilst the two of you are talking, you’re tugging at one another’s clothes and, the next thing you know it; you’re both laying naked on Yoongi’s bed.

He’s big hands slide up the outside of your thighs, squeezing roughly once they get to your ask before he continues his verbal assault on your sanity.

“I’m so fucking hard right now. I’m gonna give you so much baby. I’m gonna fill it up until it drips all over my sheets...”

This shit is hitting different.

Yoongi’s never spoken like this before and you’d be lying if you said it set you on fire.

When his head hits the pillow, the onyx tendrils on his head splay messily across the pillowcase.

Licking your lips, you slide your hands up your body, caressing your breasts, brushing your sex along Yoongi’s twitching dick.

“Oh my god, look at you. You’re so fucking pretty c’mere...” He groans, ushering you back down to his lips, kissing you tenderly, “You gon’ ride this dick for me baby? Let me into this pretty pussy of yours?”

“Uh-huh...” You grunt, sucking on his bottom lip, bracing your hands on either side of his head, “I wanna make you cum so hard...”

“Oh jagiyaaa...” He laughs and its that rickety, almost evil kind of laughter that you find so attractive, “That’s the only way you’ve ever made me cum. Your baby is sensitive when he’s high though, so you gotta be careful or I’m gonna cum before you’ve even started...”

Jesus christ.

“You want it gentle then?”

“Nah. I want you to ride it how you want to. It’s your dick isn’t it? You take care of it how you see fit. I just wanna watch and cum inside you.”

His words snap something inside of you and, before you know it, you’re sinking down on his throbbing dick.

Yoongi grins as soon as he feels you, his hands immediately taking purchase on your hips.

“Oh shit, that’s it...” Yoongi’s whimpering but its low and slow and, it fills you with more motivation.

You lean down, brushing your mouth against his, nibbling on the plump flesh of his bottom lip.

“Good?” You whisper as your hands dig into the pillow beside his head.

His dick is made for you, you’re certain of it.

It curves perfectly against the spot inside of you that immediately seems to make you sick with pleasure.

Yoongi's lopsided smirk has yet to fade but he eagerly presses his lips to yours, his hands coming up to secure your face.

He just nods before sliding his tongue into your mouth, brushing slowly against the side of your own, his hips pumping up along with the rhythm you’ve set.

Throughout your lust-driven haze, you feel him pull away, his hand still cupping your cheek.

“This pussy is good. I swear to god, it’s gonna make me lose my shit. Fu-fuck me...” He stutters when you bottom out on him again, your walls fluttering around him sinfully,

He shoots a pleading look your way but, he’s rendered speechless as you increase your pace on him.

“I love when you’re inside of me.” You say because its’ the truth and you never get tired of telling him, “I love when you cum inside of me. You’re the only one who makes me feel this way.”

Yoongi’s mouth parts in awe, his moan getting caught at the back of his throat as his gaze flits eagerly between your thighs.

“Mine...” Yoongi croons in Korean, unable to conjure up a coherent thought.

You know this word though and, you’re prepared with a reponse.

“Yours.” You kiss him again, locking eyes with him once more, “Forever.”

That’s enough to break him.

He’s cumming hard inside of you now, rope after rope of his release painting every inch he can reach, his body tightening with the force of his orgasm.

In spite of his current state, he still manages to rub your clit whilst you chase your own high, confessing his love for you over and over again until the two of you are completely spent.

---------------------------------------

Later on that evening, the two of you decide to sit in the backyard around the fire pit and snuggle up under one of Yoongi’s many throw blankets, relishing in one another.

Pressing a kiss to the backs of your knuckles, Yoongi murmurs some of the things he’s always too afraid to say.

“I hope you know how much you mean to me. I know that things aren’t always easy with me and, I hope that after today, you can understand why. But, I still hope you know...how much I love you.”

His words send butterflies into your stomach as you snuggle closer to him, “I’ve never felt more loved than when I’m with you, Yoongi, even if you don’t say anything. I know.” You kiss his check before tilting his face towards yours, “And I hope, even when you’re having a tough day or a tough week, you know that I have your back. I hope you never have to feel alone or unloved ever again. Because I’ll always be here for you and, I’ll always love you.”

He smiles, gums and all before surging forward to kiss you, his hands delicately brushing against your cheeks.

“Angel.”

It’s all he whispers before kissing you again, pouring his love into each of his movements.

You want to argue with him; you want to tell him that he’s the angel but, instead you smile into his lips as you always do, and just kiss him.

Yoongi decides in that moment that he doesn’t have to do life alone anymore.

He decides that he’s found his team member.

His partner.

His lover.

His soulmate.

635 notes · View notes

whencallstheheart · 3 years

Text

WCTH Season 8 Survey Results

Thank you so much for participating! Here’s what you all had to say:

Responses to the short answer questions are under the cut! It’s very, very long.

What do you see happening in the future with Lucas and Elizabeth?

Literally nothing except them talking about how cute they are and her stupid book

Lucas will lose everything that makes the character interesting in favor of conforming to whatever best suits Elizabeth. They'll be so boring.

I have no interest in any story between them.

A lot of candles

Reply hazy, try again.

I can definitely see them having a lot of relationship drama and business drama, as well as Lucas learning how to be a good stepdad to Little Jack

They’ll break up when she realizes his criminal ways.

Don’t know, don’t care

Nothing good

Traveling. To see her family to get married

More depth to their relationship (I feel we were told more than shown)

LOL. They're going to be as boring and disgusting as a dead slug.

Hopefully a breakup.

Lucas is shown to be Abusive and Elizabeth will be hiding it.

He loses all his money, ruins friendships through business, constantly stalks Elizabeths every move listening to any conversation she has, having zero interest in Jack and Elizabeth reverts back to her big city attitude, but they stay in Hope Valley and annoy everyone. I’m not sure I see it lasting with the ratings are bad - I think the writers may be forced to make up their mind on Lucas for maybe even Nathan. I hope Jack rises from the dead (that would reek havoc and fun). Really I wish them all the WORST. OH and I think Lucas has deep secrets he wants to hid and I think the writers may even pull a repeat storyline (like with Nathan - even though they claim they don’t repeat storylines).... COUGH COUGH CHARLES MUCH?!? Oh and they’ll have his dad show up in town to cause drama. I almost hope Lee starts to clash with Lucas.

I want them to break up...

Lots of cringe worthy dates. Maybe some disagreements about their jobs or where they might live if they get married. Lucas spending some time with Jack

Elizabeth being out of character to fit with Lucas

the same for any new relationship - rocky roads with great romance

Problems, the two are sickening when they are together and their activities are only about them

Lucas needs to leave. He is not a family man. Elizabeth is a mother first, Nathan is a family man.

Lucas will learn to have a family. Want him to loose the saloon and try to get it back. Problems with the pinkertowns

Hopefully nothing

Whatever the writers have in store. Since I'm choosing something else, I won't know and I won't care.

Well, she already has a great saloon dress, so I see her leaving teaching to work in the saloon while Robert raises Little Jack for her.😜

Boring boring boring storylines!

I do not care.

I don’t see a future as I will not be watching. Show is ruined.

Too many stupid over the top romantic dates

Marriage

Engagement, Marriage, and Pregnancy

Not much. What kind of story or life will they have? Courting and dining and not much else.

Courtship and eventually marriage if the show lasts long enough. Lucas learning how to be a father. Maybe a trip or something after her book is published.

Get married and raise Jack together. Maybe have another kid.

More of the same. Just a physical relationship with some books and candles. Boring.

I don't know! That's my biggest problem. I can't see a future for them because I can't see them together, I always saw an end point. Where will they even live??

Marriage and a new baby girl

Not much

Trouble. Stress with things not working out as easily as they thought they would.

I honestly don’t know. I just feel like she looked so uncomfortable with him all season. Then all of a sudden she’s making out with him on a bridge?? She didn’t even want to hold his hand and when she did it was awkward.

Not interested at all.

Don't care. Will only watch for other storylines.

Many dates, becoming a family with little jack , Lucas proposing On bridge in The season 9 finale episode

Disappointment when she finds out he hired Christopher to spy. Lucas will have financial hardships and will spend time with Little jack. May partner with Nathan regarding land grab and the "bad guys".

Honestly no idea. I could see them not working out, but maybe that's wishful thinking right now while I'm still bitter.

I think Lucas will be supportive of her in her work and raising jack and there relationship will grow and they will be engaged sometime in season 9.

Dinners with champagne and too many candles. That's about it.

Chris McNally should leave the show

I'm honestly not sure. I think they have a lot of work to do before they even think about getting married because we haven't even seen a fleshed out relationship between them. I assume there will be some adjustments with how Lucas will fit into Jack's life too as he will be getting older since there has been zero interaction between them. I really have no idea but I also could not care less about either of them, so I'm hoping they won't monopolize the time in each episode. But I also think it would be hard for them to monopolize time because they don't even do anything lol, this is just a long winded way of saying I have no clue.

Getting to know each other better. Helping each other with changes with their jobs. Getting married.

I see them supporting each other through career struggles, Lucas trying to find his role with Little Jack, Elizabeth maybe feeling weird about Lucas’ money and trying to go full homesteader :)

Marriage, fights, baby Jack moments, etc.

Some boring shit...

Them having trust issues only because of how little we actually really know about Lucas and he has put himself in sketchy circumstances before. I honestly just don’t trust him, he’s been portrayed so perfect this season which isn’t realistic at all.

Relationship does not work

He will lose everything and she will see he was superficial

Probably a lot of fancy dates and romance

I don’t really know, not interested much in them.

Writers will have them marry, even though they have no chemistry whatsoever.

I guess something to do with Elizabeth's writing? I'm not sure, I feel like they had such little development together that it's the only thing they share.

They should be working toward learning how to fully trust each other and communicate properly. Hopefully Lucas bonds a lot more with Jack. I have loved the little interactions between Lucas and Jack and there needs to be more if he is supposed to be Elizabeth's next husband.

Maybe a proposal by the end of next season. I'm really so neutral about the relationship that it doesn't matter to me. Maybe if we actually see some development I'll feel differently.

I really do not care enough to have any thoughts - I will be skipping what the show comes up with anyway.

They have a satisfying break-up lmao. That final scene was the most stilted and painful thing I've watched on the show in ages and that's saying alot.

He will break her heart

I'd hope they find they are just too different and break up. He's too smarmy for her.

A breakup

An engagement and Elizabeth pregnant with a baby girl

Moving back to Hamilton to live their champagne privileged life. Hope Valley deserves the other characters to have their story told. Nobody wants to see a teacher and saloon owner being together.

Nothing. Completely have no interest in them. Wasted all season watching a so called love triangle.

More of the same.

Marriage

I never saw them as a couple- don’t think it’s a good match — they have not chemistry — hope they

break up — I just find his character as having no charisma - he’s too slick looking. He was never into Baby Jack.... unlike NAthan

I hope they move away.

I hope they do not marry

I am not sure. Lucus is into the business of making money. That is what drives him. I don’t see him as a family man at all. Truthfully I will be disappointed to see Elizabeth go back to her privileged ways because of Lucus. I think she grew independent of her upbringing and to set her right back into the lifestyle she was born into totally undermines the strength and courage we watched her character blossom into and fell in love with.

Lucas will die.

Moooreee loooveee

Lucas’ relationship with Little Jack as a first time father and how it affects his relationship with Elizabeth

Who cares LOL i do not watch for Elizabeth

Getting maried

Ugh! Don't care.

More courting, scenes with baby Jack, probably some tension

Lucas is a duplicitous, dishonest person. Elizabeth will regret her choice and go back to Nathan.

Business problems, secrets galore, probably a super over the top wedding

More dinner dates?

I see Lucas and Elizabeth still in a relationship, but having some problems. Lucas's trust issues and bad communication vices needs to end!

Honestly, I have no idea. Whilst I do love the actors and watch them separately, I find it very difficult to watch their relationship on screen together. For some reason it sets off a deep seated anxiety in me, so I tend not to watch them where I can help it. If I do watch in season 9, it will be for the supporting cast stories, and I will avoid their relationship storyline altogether.

Really don't care as that pairing makes no sense to me

full courtship

Don’t really care.

courtship, some struggles, and then marriage - hopefully

No idea … don’t care about them

Candles. Lots and lots of candles.

Don't know

I don't know and I'm not interested

Blah....

Spending time together, double dates with Lee and Rosemary, and dealing with any problems Elizabeth has with the edcuation guy from the county.

I really don't care, sorry.

A nice long courtship

I think Lucas will encourage Elizabeth when her book is released they will continue to fall more and love and Lucas will propose in the finale of season 9

I have no idea. Their storyline was already so bland and boring. I guess they'll try to write stuff about E's book and then ppl trying cause trouble for the saloon. I dont really care what they do. That relationship and storyline is dry as toast

Don't really have an opinion

Elizabeth stops teaching to write full time. They marry and move into swankier diggs on the edge of town. Little Jack spends his days at Rosemary and Lee's house to get away from the constant champagne swigging and insufferably bad French.

Don’t care

I will not this show any longer. Season 8 did it for me.

a lot of kissing

Hopefully small, simple storylines that build up to an actual relationship that isn't just tonsil-sucking smooching. I think we deserve the attempt at seeing a relationship build after all this nonsensical drama.

That she finds out he isn’t who she thought he was and she made a big mistake. By then Nathan will be happy and fulfilled with someone new

More chemistry-free scenes

She leaves him for Nathan

Mismatched couple. Very materialistic. Maybe leave the show!

Move out of hope valley

They will make out all the time.

God I don't even know. I'm not remotely invested in their relationship so I don't really care honestly.

Far fetched - I hoping the past catches up and problems arise

Hopefully moving away so we dont have to watch them anymore

Nothing exciting

Boring storyline

I wish a break up

Don't care

L losing his money and figuring out how to be a real person with hardship. E struggling with the school but not actually doing anything kinda like the finale. I want them both to stay away from Nathan and not force a friendship.

Don't care

They will get married and have children

Lucas sells saloon and starts new, family friendly business. He and Elizabeth court and become more serious

Dating, getting to know each other better, marriage

His shady ways will nip him in the butt and Elizabeth will open her eyes and realize how he's caused her to change into the "Hamilton" woman she didn't want to become.

Continuing courtship, then Lucas does a shady deal and leaves town

breakup

Blech- If those last scenes are any indication

Borrowing inappropriate life

I do not give a damn

I think and truly hope Lucas will show a side of him she doesn't like and she will get with Nathan. Probably won't happen but I think Lucas is just too slick and a little shady.

Think she will discover he has some things she doesn't like or agree with and will fall out of love with him

It will be a love forever!

I honestly think nothing will happen, they'll have another rather long (one season or two) relationship, then they'll get engaged, marry again, have babies... unless they decide to bring in random troubles, but honestly nothing much

Don’t care.

I'm not really interested in these characters anymore

That they don’t get married and the storyline goes back to the original premise of the teacher and the Mountie.

I don’t care.

They split up

they will settle into a comfortable relationship and then there won't be that much oppertunity for grown

They're a terrible couple and I don't really care what the writer's do with them.

Not interested in their future

A wedding. They have unfortunately taken it this far, they have to finish it. Anything else would make John Tinker's decision even more ridicuous.

I hope she realises she made a mistake thirty seconds into S9 and runs back to Nathan.

Don't Care, will not be watching.

I hope their relationship grows until ultimately they get married and have a family

They will get married and hav a baby girl.

Boring story line of privileged life and focus on book publishing and tour. No chemistry "romance".Should marry right away as there scenes are so sexualized, which would be scandalous for that time.

fun romance, hopefully more with Jcak

No idea. I can't picture Lucas involved in the school or any other part of Elizabeth's Hope Valley circle, so I imagine the storyline will give them a new focus.

Elizabeth will realize she made a mistake and leave Lucas!!! Only to find it's too LATE!

L& E have NO CHEMISTRY

Don’t know, but I’m excited to see them as a couple! Just them getting to know each other even better and becoming more a part of each other’s lives (this includes spending time with Little Jack) as they move toward their future together. :)

They will probably get married.

Whatever serves Elizabeth’s plot line

What do you think they have planned for Nathan?

Who knows but I have no faith in the writers so they’ll probably fuck it up

Maybe he tends to a woman in need?

I would love for him to interact with more people in the town. Definitely more day to day scenes with Allie. I’d love to hear her refer to him as Dad. I hope someone new will come into town who will be perfect for Nathan and he will sweep her off her feet

Something great I hope

New romance. Maybe a tussle with the Pinkertons.

Hopefully a lot of interesting things! I'm hoping for a romance with Faith, I think they could be pretty great

Nothing. If they didn’t decide who elizabeth picked till last minute, no way they have anything planned for Nathan this far out. BB and Tinker are all talk.

Hopefully better treatment but I won’t know because I will not watch anyway

I hope someone amazing

A new love interest

More “Girl Dad” Nathan, potential relationship with Faith of a new character, a platonic acquaintance ship with Elizabeth & Lucas despite everything

Nothing that will do him justice.

No fracken clue. Maybe he’ll focus only on Allie from now on.

Nathan finds out that Lucas is abusive toward Elizabeth and ready to thrown Lucas in Jail where he belongs.

Some bullshit like always. I don’t even care to predict much. They have so much contempt for him it’s insanely uncalled for. They think he’s boring, they think he’s a Jack 2.0 (Brian Bird even said this on Twitter). They undermine his duty, frame him as if he is some like creep who followed Elizabeth to town, when in reality he was doing it out of respect, duty and honor. They are so needlessly disrespectful to him (Kevin knows this), especially bc they framed it as if Nathan never gave E space and time, which we know is BS. He is a real man and does what real men would and we know WCTH is scared of a real man. They’ll try to put him with Faith (snooze), or hell maybe they have not renewed When Hope Calls and he will become a lead on that show (I’d welcome him back into Alfonso’s arms any day). Lord knows Alfonso can write and actually respected his character.

A new love interest. Maybe a career change so he can be there for Allie more.

At this point with how they handled him so far I'm not very hopeful

I truly think something more exciting than it would have been with Nathan and Elizabeth

Not sure, can we trust anything logical to happen, hopefully he can see it was good not to be chosen by Elizabeth

He should be with Elizabeth

Probably saving Elizabeth and Lucas from danger

Help Lucas with this Spurlock Guy. Navigate with a teenager.

If the writers/producers are smart, they will get Lucas away from Elizabeth almost immediately and get her hooked up with Nathan. This was a blow and so deceiving to the fans! (I only answered “someone new” to the question above because Elizabeth was not an option).

Unfortunately not anything I trust them to do a good job with.

I am worried they’re planning to stick him with Faith. Ugh!

BB doesn't care, it will be tacky and messy.

Probably kill him. They’ve done everything else terrible to him.

Sadly, probably a relationship with Faith. Never been a fan of her.

A new love interest

I hope a new love interest. Courtship, Engagement, Marriage, and Pregnancy.

A great love story with someone new to Town!!!

Plenty of Mountie storylines, fathering Allie through teenage years, finding love, learning how to be friends with E & L. Maybe a visit from his mom.

Hopefully an epic story of heroics and a forever love who is unwavering and true to him. He deserves nothing less.

Get shot. Lose a leg. Get a life-threatening infection. Fall in a lake. Get locked inside a burning building.

I think they're gonna try to pair him with Fiona

New mountie responsibility and new love interest

No idea

Leave the Mounties and start a horse ranch or be in charge of the livery. I like him as a Mountie though.

They had all these amazing story lines for him even though it was just one road block after another for him. I want to continue to see Nathan deal with Allie growing up and their relationship.

I feel so disappointed & sad for him.

A storyline that hopefully won't screw him over, with no Elizabeth involved. She needs to stay out of his life decisions. Bring in a new character for his love interest. But, most of all give him and Allie the happiness they deserve.

Faith romance ,more challenging cases in his job and trouble with ally father

Allie’s Dad, promotion

Not enough! Will try to find him a love interest but will focus on his relationship with Allie and her father, who will come back to cause problems. Nathan will partner with Bill regarding mining disaster investigation and Pinkertons.They need to make him prominent next season for show to survive because Kevin McGarry is beloved by fans and the best actor on the show next to Martin. The Mountie character should be prominent. If they try to put him with Faith it will be like a Dr. Quinn-Sully type relationship, and I don't think it will work. I love Kevin opposite Jen Lilley.

They will probably shackle him with Faith and that will bore me.

Have no clue

Relationship drama, Mountie stuff, trouble with Allie. Pretty much the same as this season but hopefully there will be more of a focus on him instead of Elizabeth.

Love with Faith, UGH. And more incredible fathering with Allie <3 Elizabeth could have had her chance with that family but no, apparently she’s “not in love” with him and never was.

I'm hoping we get to see Nathan form more friendships with other HV residents and deepen his relationship with others. I assume the Pinkerton storyline (which I have no idea how that will play out) will bring him and Bill together professionally, so I would enjoy to see their friendship be fleshed out more. Hopefully more of him with Allie and facing her teenage years as her father will be fun to see. I hope they bring in a new love interest for him because I would really enjoy seeing him catch the eye of someone new and vice versa.

More adventures as a Mountie.

No idea - I think he should find another path though. I don’t think he likes being a Mountie.

Another suitor, work stuff, family stuff, scenes with Allie

I just hope it is not faith as his love interest

Hopefully more storylines about him and Allie! I love them and I just really hope they focus on him and his journey with Allie. I don’t want a romantic storyline for him bc that’s really soon and he was IN love with Elizabeth so it would be unrealistic for him to jump into another relationship like that. I do want him to get over Elizabeth though and see him recover and grow from that!

Elizabeth will come to her senses and ditch Lucas for Nathan

A new love. A spunky woman who goes after him.

No clue!

Probably a love story with Faith, but I don’t like that direction if they decide to go that way.

Not to be a leading man and take the focus off of Elizabeth.

Probably a new love interest. I didn't catch that he could potentially end up with Faith at first, but I'm down for it as long as they can make it work. They've both been left behind by the people they love, that would make for an interesting narrative at least.

They probably will pair him up with a female character, but I think he should stay single and continue to focus on raising Allie.

Hopefully they don't go the Faith route, but I have a feeling they might.

A good Mountie storyline with the Pinkertons etc. I'd like to see Allie's Dad again too.

Ehhh they'll probably put him with Faith which I'm not into at all.

A spin-off I hope

Not sure, I felt he belonged with Elizabeth all along.

Who knows. I don’t trust the show runners anymore.

Faith and challenges raising ally

Hopefully leave Hope Valley and leave that shit show. I’m not really buying the writers saying they have exciting things for him. They have mislead the viewers too long. It’s a ploy to keep the viewers watching the show. It’s all about covering their butt right now and try to keep the ratings.

I don’t know. I won’t be returning to watch

Grief.

Faith

I think Elizabeth has trouble w/Lucas and runs back to Nathan realizing that she made a mistake. A blended family would have been a good storyline.

I don’t know, but it better be good!

Don’t know

I would hope that he would be allowed to at least go on an actual date with someone before he is over looked and not even given a chance at love. That the decision to whether he is able to love and be loved is not determined by the uniform he is wearing but rather by the quality of the man wearing the uniform.

🤔

Mourning the loss of Elizabeth and then finding a new love interest, hopefully successfully

Something amazing I hope but the writers are so terrible I do wonder if they can

good things

I hope love

No idea.

Exploring being a father to Allie, An ACTUAL love interest, probably more career - mountie vs “normal” life thinking

I hope that Elizabeth and Lucas break up when she realizes how bad he is. Nathan loves Elizabeth and was NEVER given the chance to even have one dinner date with her. Elizabeth needs to have an opportunity to see him now for the incredible man that he is.

New love interest, new job maybe?

Probably a romance for Allie he has to handle?

Probably to put him up with Faith...

I hope something fantastic after the shocking story-telling he has had to endure this season. I love him and Allie, and him and Bill, and feel there is great potential there.

I hope something good for what he's endured

Action storylines

At this point have no idea.

hopefully something fun, Kevin is a funny guy and they should take advantage of that

Downplaying his role as a “police” figure

I think they will put him with Faith, but I hope not.

New love interest

I hope that he will have as important a role as before (like, for example, the one Abigail had before she left) and that he meets a new love interest.

Faith

Nathan needs some stories with humor and adventure but they will probably focus on his romance next.

Bigger mountie related stories, new love interest perhaps

Fiona, Fiona fiona

Dealing with losing Elizabeth him and faith will bond over heartache and eventually become a couple he will have some problems taking ally as she continues to get older maybe a new aspect of his job being a Mountie

Also dont care what they do because anything after this point will never make up for the way they screwed his character over. They'll probably write him with Faith which we all know makes zero sense. I would hope someone new comes along for him to love him the way he deserves but I dont think that will happen. He'll have problems with the Pinkertons probably.

I hope some happiness for a change

They have already telegraphed that Faith will latch on to him. Yuck, what a consolation prize.

nothing

Probably some action stuff.

He will emerge as the strong wonderful Person he is. He will be involved with the Pinkertons storyline. He will find a new love and be happy

Back stab his character again

Promotion and a new mom for Allie.

Death

I hope someone new comes in and adores him.

I'm sure they'll rush a love interest for him as a consolation prize while also still trying to shove Elizabeth into his life as a "friend".

Life with Allie

Don't know with these writers

New love interest

Not sure

To be with Elizabeth that's what i want to keep watching

Saving the town from the Pinkertons. Dealing with bill and the mine. Making new friends and being admired by everyone including l&e. More sweet lessons with Allie (helping her in math) and possibly the aftermath of Dillon coming out. That could be a good opportunity to have him lean on someone new. I’d like Allie to put E in her place when she oversteps her involvement in N&A life since we know she will. It’ll show A maturing as a 14-15 y/o and serve E a much needed amount of humble pie after the crap she pulled with them in S7&8. Please no rushed friendship with e or l like give the guy a season and also make them the uncomfortable ones. He deserves to hold his head high. I would love for him to tell E he’s more than his uniform and it’s unfortunate she never tried to see that.

Don't no

A new girlfriend

He finally loses the chip from his shoulder

Not sure yet, a town mystery maybe, time him to heal with what happened.

He will uncover Lucas' shady ways.

Wrangling with the Pinkertons

No idea

Probably nothing to good

I do not want to Know. Not interested in the show anymore

I have no idea. I really can't imagine him with anyone but Elizabeth

Don't know but they did him wrong with Elizabeth's decision. She left Hamilton because of the life-style Lucas has. JUST DOESN'T FIT!!!!!!

another love

Probably more Allie and Mounties related things, and hopefully a nice, good love interest. I am really hoping they'll keep Elisabeth away from him for at least one season. The last thing we all need is her being all up in his business again with Allie and goodness forbid his new love interest #LEAVENATHANALONE (sorry, couldn't help it)

Hopefully finding love and happiness with someone who makes Elizabeth feel she made a big mistake.

j'espère juste qu'ils ne minimisent pas le temps de presence à l'écran de son personnage, qu'ils arrêteront de mal le traiter pour rien et qu'il lui arrivera que de bonnes choses

I don’t care enough to speculate.

Something lame.

No idea. They've just wasted the family Allie, baby Jack, Elizabeth and him already were.

sideling mountie buisness

I hope he finds true love.

A new love, but I hope they don't pair him up with Faith. More mountie stuff.

New love. His continuing story with Ally. More examples of his nobility, if they are smart.

If I were Kevin I don't know if I'd want to stay.

Probably another beating.

I would love to see Nathan and Fiona get together as a couple I think they would be awesome together

Romance with faith problems with ally’s father struggling with ally growing up and maybe him getting hurt on a mission.

That Nathan's heart will heal and that he will fall in love with a new beautiful godly woman coming to Hope Valley (A new teacher that can teach special needs?) Continue to build the strong relationship with Allie and be an excellent dad.

new love

They'd better have an EPIC love story for him!

He needs to find someone NEW so when Elizabeth comes back it's too LATE!! Faith and Nathan NO WAY!! You can't just fall out of love with someone just like that.

Challenges in him being a Mountie . I really hope that he has a good storyline and has some romance with faith and is happy in his life and not despressed with Lucas and Elizabeth being a couple.

For Nathan, we should see him slowly healing from his heartbreak, and fully finding his place in the community beyond Elizabeth. Definitely more of him and Allie as a family. I expect our Mountie will become involved with whatever is going on with the potential new factory and the Pinkertons hanging around. No guesses as to what he and John Tinker have in store exactly, but I hope it’s good! As this is a Hallmark show, they probably can’t bear to leave a main character single for too long, so they’ll probably start setting up a new love for him, but hopefully not too soon.

Continue to be a parent to Allie and have a new love interest.

Lessening of his prominence on the show

What did you love about this season?

Well, I liked Nathan’s parts

that they attempted to fill some of the holes in plots and that they gave everyone something meaningful to do. Ned and Florence were great. Loved meeting the Canfields.

I was happy with the season up until the finale. I loved the thought of Elizabeth and Nathan going through everything to make their relationship stronger. Now it seems pointless. They kept kicking Nathan while he was down and he never got a fair chance

Allie and nathan

References to Henrigail.

Seeing the town become more busy and lively I guess

That Nathan was going to end up with Elizabeth.

I also loved the Canfields and the bigger storylines for minor characters.

Nothing at this point, it’s all tainted by garbage finale

Too rushed and not written well

There were more stories with other people

The ensemble as a whole....

The Coulters, Henry and Christopher, the Canfields, Florence and Ned, and Hickam and Fiona.

The Nathan / Allie storyline.

Jack Jr, Elizabeth and Jack Sr Photo

Absolutely nothing. It was blasphemy. My favorite moment was Either the Fort Clay argument at Bills uniform event thing, or Allie sticking it to Mrs. Thornton by ripping up the dinner invitation in front of her face in the school house. I like any suffering Elizabeth went through and Lucas.

Some things that were left hanging from prior seasons were resolved. The Canfield family- it was nice to see faith-related things being more included in the show again like in earlier seasons. Florence and Ned were adorable. Mike and Fiona were pretty cute together too- love how they encourage each other to be their best!

Not much but Nathan as a character

The Canfields, Ned and Florence, Rosemary and the paper, and the ending of the triangle

Nathan's smile.

Nothing

Florence and Ned

The Canfields and the bell even though Lee should have is back jam when he lifted the bell.

The Nathan/Elizabeth scenes

Allie's adoption. Joseph Canfield becoming the new minister.

Florence and Ned’s romance, Lee’s one liners, Molly’s pursuit of Bill, when Elizabeth thought she was holding Lucas’ hands but it was actually Nathan

I loved the Nathan/Elizabeth story of getting over fear and do what you are afraid to do theme, until it all went sideways in the last 20mins!!!!!

Fiona and Mike

Nathan and Allie

Rosemary and Lee

The end of the triangle

The Canfield's.They are a breath of fresh air. I love that they love God, their family, and others. Ned and Florence was a beautiful love story. Bill and Molly. Molly giving her dress to Florence, Fiona adventures, Nathan and Allie's stories, Rosemary and Lee, and every minute of every Canfield.

Relationships - Fiona and Hickam, Allie and Nathan, Henry and Christopher. Joseph becoming the pastor. Nathan’s character growth.

The Canfields, Nathan’s storyline( even though nothing went his way he was always noble and true), Rosemary and Lee as always

I liked Hickam getting more story. I liked Rosemary starting the paper. I liked Minnie working at the restaurant.

Elizabeth finding love with Lucas

Allie and Nathan. Getting to see some of the fun side of Nathan.

Nathan and Allie. I liked Elizabeth with them too until the ending.

Seeing Nathan and Allie. Canfields. Mike and Fiona. Ned and Florence. Bill and Molly. Lee and Rosemary. So I guess the point is the attention on the other characters and couples. I think I enjoy the new couples just because we finally got to know two more side characters each time.

Nathan & Allie.

Everything BUT the annoying love triangle!

All the Lucas and Elizabeth dates, almost kiss in the rain , and the finale was the best episode of the entire series, there kisses were enchanting

Nathan

Humor, Ned and Flo, finding out Nathan's involvement with Jack finally. I thought Kevin did a magnificent job and I loved seeing Jaeda shine- she is so talented. I loved Henry and Christopher and the positive impact of Rachel. My personal quote favorite: "Go stuff your trout!"

Nathan's face. Rosemary and Lee, the Canfields, Ned and Florence's wedding.

The triangle Rachel and chrispthoher can fields rosemarys paper

Anytime Henry referenced Abigail and telling stories about ALL the characters, not just Elizabeth. I like the whole ensemble cast feel. This season did keep me engaged, I always tuned in when it aired.

The Canfields arriving, Henry mentioning Abigail, and Nathan and Allie - because Kevin McGarry and Jaeda Lily Miller are incredible actors with fantastic chemistry.

I really loved seeing more storylines introduced with the other characters and then for the most part developing those storylines. I adore Ned & Florence, I thought their wedding episode was so sweet, and I think they will bring a dynamic as a couple that will be fun to watch. I like how they have such a rapport together and with the mercantile being the center of town, I'll enjoy seeing more of them next season. I loved the edition of the Canfield family, both Angela and Cooper are so sweet and are great additions as HV kids. And Minnie and Joseph quickly turned into some of my faves this season too! I love them as a couple and I love them building relationships with the others, the Lee & Joseph friendship was definitely one of my favorite things this season. And Minnie is such a soft-spoken badass, I would listen to her read an audiobook all day long haha. I enjoyed learning more about Henry with the addition of Christopher, I definitely liked the depth their scenes brought. Any time my faves Lee & Rosemary were in a scene together was a win for me. I liked the crush developing between Allie & Robert too, v cute. Overall, I really enjoyed the new relationships that were formed and the new additions that were brought in, I think it paved the way for a number of new stories that I will be excited to see play out.

Fiona and the Canfields were the best storylines this season.

Lucas and Elizabeth are finally together.

Lucas' character is a real gentleman.

Martin Cummins was phenomenal, and I loved the whole Christopher story, including him and Rachel, and Henry reflecting on Abigail and being there for Ned. Joseph and Lee’s friendship is great. Loved Rosemary finding a new career. And Robert!

I would’ve liked Clare and Jesse struggling if they handled it better. I liked the general structure they began of drawing out stories and slowly unpeeling their layers but they set up too many in every episode and didn’t follow through well. If they can tighten that structure, it would be great.

Angst, Henry, The wedding, etc. (triangle ending too)

Allie and Nathan's cute family, Fiona and her interactions with Mike, Rosemary and the newspaper thing, flirty Molly and Bill

The Canfield family! I adored them they are so sweet and I really hope we see more of them next season!

Nathan and Allie

Nathan and Allie's adoption also the Canfields

Joesphs family and the return of faith to Hope valley! I also loved Lee and Rosemary’s relationship.

Lee and Rosemary were my favorites. I basically watched this entire season for them and Nathan and Allie. Ned and Florence were fun to watch as well.

Ned and Florence and the Canfields

Carson and Faith's conflict was honestly really compelling to me, and I'm fine with Carson leaving as well. The theme of calling was also really good in my opinion. I also loved Rosemary in general. She's my favorite character and I love watching her grow throughout the whole show.

I was very happy to see more representation on screen. The Canfields brought representation for POC and people who are blind. I would like to see more diversity in the cast.

I really liked the Canfields. They brought a nice dynamic to the show. As always, Rosemary and Lee were my favorites. As far as I'm concerned, they're the heart and soul of the show. Ned and Florence's wedding was nice too.

The Canfields. Lee & Rosie and Rachel. Henry and his son. Bill & Molly. Ned & Florence. Mike & Fiona.

Everything except the love triangle! The love triangle was one of the worst things I've seen on television (even before the finale). Everything but the love triangle was better than anything we've gotten since season four. Christopher, Henry, and Rachel were my favorites of the season. Loved all the stuff surrounding those characters. Also Fiona and Mike are really becoming great!

Allie & Robert

Allie's adoption was finalized.

Mike and Fiona

Triangle Clara and Jesse faith becoming a doctor Nathan adopting ally Elizabeth’s book Lucas and Elizabeth kiss

Nothing. It made me mad.

Nothing

Nathan and Allie, Henry and Christopher.

Nathan and Allie

Rosemary — and Lee. But the season writing was not good - need more dramatic things happening like - in past seasons. It was almost goofy dialogue- the Fiona barber shop thing was stupid too — boring! What happened to the blacksmith that liked her????

Canfield’s, FloYo wedding

Allie and Nathan

I loved the fact that Rosemary was patient with Elizabeth even though she didn’t deserve to be treated like she was by her.

More episodes

Glad to see Elizabeth be happy, at least for now. Also they have a number of different story lines that they can play with and help some other characters share the limelight, like Lee and Rosemary

The Canfields

fiona

Nathan and Allie

Aside from the gutsy decision to go with the less outwardly popular pairing? (I applaud it) I loved the new characters (Canfields/Christopher not Rachel) and seeing more of Nathan and Lucas outside of the triangle

Seeing Nathan get set free from his guilt and finding his voice to declare his love to Elizabeth and watching Elizabeth always pursuing him. After loving Elizabeth so much, it is not right to try to set him up with someone else.

Learning more about Henry and watching Florence and Ned get married!!

Nathan Grant

The Canfields

Fiona is a fabulous character, I really enjoy the dynamic she has brought to the valley. I have always loved Mike, so those two are always a joy. Always love Lee and Rosemary. Nathan and Allie. Bill and Molly, Florence and Ned. Robert.

The multiple storyline being dived into more

Lucas

Not able to come up with a positive answer at this point.

The Canfields, the angst of the love triangle - it felt more realistic then this show has in the past, with people making mistakes and trying to find their way. For anyone who has ever had strong feelings for two people at the same time, there was a realism in the way the writers handled it with the shifting feelings, the questions about what and who is right, the missteps and the emotional angst. The last two scenes of the finale (writers, actors, setting, humor) were pure magic. Oh yeah - Ned and Florence!!

Watching anything with Nathan and Allie

The Canfields

Scenes between Elizabeth and Nathan

Nathan/Allie relationship and her adoption

Not much

Rosemary starting the newspaper!!!!

Ned and Florence, Allie and Nathan

Lucas

Lucas and Elizabeth

I loved everything having to do with Nathan and Allie. I just wanted E and N together and to join their families into one. It would have been beautiful.

Seeing Nathan and Allie's relationship deepen

Not much, it was all over the place. I can't believe how much I've come to dislike the main character.

Not much. It has gone on a different path.

The Canfields

The Canfields were lovely, Bill was better-written, Henry had amazing scenes.

Nothing

Lee & Rosemary. Looking over your lists of major/minor storylines, I realized I didn't really enjoy any of those storylines. But I always enjoy when Lee and Rosemary are on screen.

Allie and Nathan

Nothing, the finale ruined the whole season.

I loved the Canfields. Always love Rosie and Lee scenes. I am enjoying that the show is becoming more of an ensemble rather than focusing on just a few main characters.

I loved the addition of the Canfields.

Nathan and Allie.

The Canfield and the new side they brought

Nathan and Allie. Canfields.

Nathan

Chemistry between Nathan and Elizabeth

Nathan and Ally

Disappointed

Nathan and Allie, Bill being Bill, FloYo, Henry, The Canfields

Disappointed

Elizabeth choosing Lucas in the end.

Nathan with Allie

To me each character was given the chance to grow and was able to work on things in their life. I enjoyed the new writing. It made the show better to me.

Bill and Molly. They were so cute. And new characters/family.

Rosemary’s journey to find a new hobby

Canfield family

Fiona, the Canfield, Nathan & Allie

Lee and rosemary and the Canfields

Nathan and Elizabeth chemistry

The Canfields, Fiona and Lee and Rosemary

The Canfield's and Rosemary

End of season.

Honestly, Allie's scene at Nathan's inquiry was the best thing of the season. I loved all their story lines, I'm ready for a whole season about them.

Most of it except the last episode.

the characters of Nathan and Allie

Ned & Florence

Nothing

The build up to her choosing Nathan... oh wait.

Fiona I love, Lee and Rosemary I love always

the canfields and nathan and allie

Rosemary and Lee's story line.

Not much.

Nathan's nobility, Ally, Ned and Flo, and the Canfields, especially their faith aspect.

I still think the last scene of the second episode was the strongest scene this show has ever got.

The Grant Family.

I really loved the additional episodes and hope they approve at least the same number or more next season.

Lucas and Elizabeth dates Clara and Jessie’s struggles the barbershop opening and Lucas and Elizabeth kissing and her finally choosing him.

Ned and Florence's romance and wedding. Nathan and Allie, the Canfields.

ned & Florence, the end of the triangle, robert at the babysitter, Canfield life lessons

Nathan adopting Allie and everything about their relationship, hearing Henry talk about Abigail, seeing Ned & Florence come together, cute Robert becoming a part of "adult" Hope Valley, Lee & Rosemary doing absolutely anything.

Not Much Elizabeth is not a good character anymore.

Nathan and ally Ned and Florence Elizabeth and Lucas I’m glad the triangle is over and everyone can move forward with there lives

The Canfields! They were such a welcome addition. I also loved Florence, the Florence and Ned wedding, Elizabeth and Lucas as a couple. And this was a pretty good season for Henry! Happy to see Faith back too. I also appreciated that there were more storylines that lasted more than an episode or two and it felt like a coherent season. It wasn’t exactly fantastic, but I don’t expect that of When Calls the Heart and I quite liked the season overall.

The addition of the Canfields.

Nathan and Allie

What did you miss this season? What could there have been more of?

Common sense

Lee and Rosemary! Not enough of them.

Dates with Nathan

Nice Elizabeth

Um...more Henrigail.

Emotion. I feel like other than the stuff with Nathan and Elizabeth there were no other instances of real raw emotion

A Kevin McGarry shirtless scene. Also I missed Bill. I felt like he had very little to do this year.

Elizabeth getting called on her shitty behavior

Deeper story lines

Lee and Rosemary

I did wish Allie had called Nathan dad at least once

That they dropped the ball on Rosie wanting a child

I think Lee and Rosemary could have gotten where they ended up in the season finale half way through the season. I think that would have been nice.

Nathan x Elizabeth. She didn’t even have a rain check dinner she promised him.

More of Jack Sr Mentions, but also Elizabeth not hiding what she is really feeling

Nathan and Elizabeth and their little family with Allie and Jack. I will never forgive the robbery of such happiness.

The kids in the schoolhouse.

Little Jack, more of the kids, school, L and R

more time spent on few stories - too much jumping around and not enough substance

more time with the individual characters, fewer chopped up plots

Elizbeth acting as a mother first. She should be concerned who would be an outstanding father/role model for Jack.

A date between Elizabeth and Nathan

Nathan and Elizabeth actually getting together.

Reality.

We needed more Lee and Rosemary, and I really missed the kids bc of Covid.

Some common sense maybe??? A good ending to the season maybe???

better writing and the Elizabeth that left everything she knew to make her way in a new place.

Heart warming wholesome moments. They were few and far between.

More school scenes

Interaction with little Ja CB k

The kids. I missed Opal.

More schoolhouse scenes

More Bill, Rosemary, Lee, Molly, Henry

Substance.

I missed Lee & Rosemary! It felt like they barely got screen time. And then truly if Elizabeth & Lucas were going to end up together I would have liked to see their actual love story build, instead of her dating him while staring at Nathan the whole time, which is what we got.

More Rosemary and Lee; them adopting or having a baby

But lightheartedness. The whole season just felt stressful and misleading

Truth I missed Elizabeth and Nathan flirting.

Opal!! I feel like we needed another girls sleepover night or camping trip. It feels like we barely saw the kids aside from Allie crushing on Robert. There were no festivals or fairs. It was a bland summer for the kids.

Nathan finding happiness with Elizabeth.

Nothing really

Rosemary having a baby, Henry with oil business, jack and Lucas scenes, faith working in the infirmary , Elizabeth’s book .

Nathan

They dropped Nathan's chances at being with Elizabeth after he cried out his love for her and we should have seen him get more of a chance. Really wanted to see Allie more and less of Elizabeth. Hoped to see more of Fiona, too as she is comical playing off Hickam. Show really veered off course-[ writers kind of dropped stuff in and out on a whim and I thought the show lacked connection between storys and characters over time. Lots of whiplash- Canfields just moved in to a cabin then almost immediately sold it. Rachel was dropped in then all of a sudden leaves to celebrate a birthday. All of a sudden newlywed Ned applies for a bandaid patent! What the hell???

Better writing.

I didn’t miss anything. More of the hope valley children

Some type of villain. There was no crisis, no major overarching storyline aside from the love triangle. It overtook the whole season. Thought I was watching The Bachelorette for a second.

The love triangle was set up to bring Elizabeth and Nathan together - and don’t tell me they weren’t in love, Brian Bird, you literally spend 3 seasons showing them getting closer, feeling physically affected by being around each other, protecting each other, and becoming more open and you literally had Elizabeth seek him out and draw him in over and over again, getting closer to Allie as a mother figure in the process. Don’t tell me that’s not what a woman in love does for someone she loves, both romantically and deeply. And no resolution for ALLIE: Elizabeth telling Nathan to pass a message to Allie in that rejection scene, not even seeking Allie out to apologize? Is that somehow supposed to make that little girl feel better?! Treating Allie, her beloved student, like some insignificant afterthought, after everything Allie’s been through, just because she realized she’s in love with Lucas? Unbelievable. So yeah, sorry not sorry but I’m sore and pissed off, I feel manipulated and I’m angry. I did not buy Elizabeth’s sudden desperation to find Lucas, I did not buy that kiss or that she would want to spend a lifetime with him. The storyline literally did not support this ending at all. Even if I did want Elizabeth with Lucas I would feel shafted because their interactions were so damn surface-level the entire season. Here’s a replica of Elizabeth and Lucas’s backyard date conversation: Elizabeth: *wears a saloon-worthy, not flattering, potentially scandalous dress* Lucas: Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight? Elizabeth: yeah you mentioned it a few times Lucas: do you know how happy I am to be with you? Elizabeth: yeah...you said. Me too I guess. Oh and by the way, sorry about baby Jack, sorry he exists, and that we had to have dinner in my backyard Lucas: leave the dishes, I’ll have Gustave my slave come and collect them. Tonight should be about us Elizabeth: ... *crickets* *light hand holding*

So for season 8? I wanted more of Nathan and Elizabeth getting together I guess.

Obviously I am bummed about the lack of a baby Coulter this season, but the interview with Kavan & Pascale has made me hopeful it will happen next season. Even with the lack of a baby for them, I was disappointed with the whole Rachel thing because they barely spent any time "parenting her". She spent more time with Christopher that we saw on screen than she did with either Lee or Rosemary, and every scene they were in together was pretty much spoiled in the trailer for that episode, so that was a let down for me. I would have liked to see them actually spend some time with her or watch them struggle with parenting her. I always want more of them in general too, but I do feel like they got pushed to the side this season to make room for the triangle and other stories to play out. I'm really hoping for more of them next season, especially as it seems as though their journey to parenthood is finally in the cards. I also would have liked to see more of the HV kids this season, I did enjoy most of the scenes with the kids.

Elizabeth and the school children.

Rosemary and Lee were tired and wasted for most of the season, needed more of their fun. School scenes - I wish they would’ve tried to do something outside. More stories that weren’t romance. (And you didn’t ask but I could use way less of Elizabeth dramatically stopping and gasping.)

Kid scenes. There could be more kid scenes and unlikely interactions among all the main cast.

Elizabeth at least giving a chance to Nathan

There could’ve been more good and consistent storytelling lmao

Little Jack

Drop the triangle mid way and let the focus go back to HV

More time for Elizabeth to grieve and process. Would have loved to see her more in her role as a mother.

More Nathan and Elizabeth. It felt like they never gave Nathan a chance.

Nathan and Elizabeth going to dinner and spending time together.

More development for Lucas would have been really nice. Not that he wasn't present enough, but I feel like he took a back seat for his character development, growth, insight, etc. Also, if they focused on him more, especially in relation to Elizabeth, her choice would've made more sense to me.

I missed a certain simplicity which was evident in other seasons. I often felt that there was too much going on and that weakened the storylines since there was only so much time for each one.

More focus on the other characters and less on the love triangle.

Gah, so much screentime was wasted on the love triangle. I miss the time we could have gotten exploring other stories.

Better story telling. It was boring, frankly

Elizabeth interacting a lot with Little Jack and falling in love with Nathan like it should have been.

Mike and Fiona. I hated that she was gone for so long.

The magic that we saw in the earlier seasons. It’s too far from the books. They should have just replaced Jacks character with another actor.

More stories for all the cast

more stories that involved multiple characters (and characters that don’t interact as much to interact/form new and unique relationships)

I won't be watching Season 9.

An apology from TPTB.

Lucas true dark and evil side

Nothing. I’m not watching blasphemy.

Lee and Rosemary become parents. A fun new love interest for Nathan. Mike and Fiona dating.

For it not to happen. Take me back to season 7 ending

new love and adventures for Nathan, a baby for Lee and Rosemary, fun and challenging love for Elizabeth and Lucas

Honesty, no more bait and switch just for ratings

I won't watch it. After 8 seasons it sickened me to see Lucas as the pick when he is not a father figure or role model. So unlike a moral mother to not look at a person's interaction with your child first when choosing a partner.

Less scenes between Elizabeth and Lucas since she found her love focus the season on Nathan finding his

Nathan and Elizabeth actually getting together.

Nothing. I'm moving on to greener pastures.

I would like to see Rosemary and Lee finally have a baby or adopt, Elizabeth and Lucas break up or just leave town so I don’t have to watch them make out, Nathan find a better love, and Lee as mayor take on Wyman Walden and the Pinkertons.

Elizabeth realizing that she actually loves Nathan and Lee and rosemary surprise pregnancy or adoption.

I do not care what happens.

Elizabeth/writers/ producers realizing they are incredibly stupid. Apologizing and Nathan NOT taking her back. She needs to be alone and probably miserable. I think that’s what the show and she deserves. They’ve ruined it. I’m gone.

Less soap opera

No more triangles

Nathan finds true love. Allie getting an amazing Mother. The Canfield's (every minute of every Canfield). Rosemary and Lee. Bill and Molly. Clara and Jesse maturing. Every minute of Nathan and Allie. The kids. Ned and Florence enjoying married life and seeing him strike it rich. Lee for Mayor. Henry coming back. Mike and Fiona. Faith being a Doctor.

Healing and happiness for Nathan after getting smacked around in Season 8

A baby for Rosemary and Lee, Henry and Abigail to return together, Carson to come back and propose to Faith because she obviously does love him and want him to stay, an amazing newcomer to fall head over heels for Nathan

A cohesive storyline!

Rosemary and Lee have a baby

The whole season just felt stressful and misleading

Allie and Nathan prominence in the community and storylines. Lucas and Elizabeth to go on an extended international book tour.

Lee and Rosemary having kids finally!!!! Mayor election!

I won't be watching anymore.

A storyline that doesn't screw Nathan over. Rosemary/Lee blessed with a family. Less Elizabeth/Lucas kissing scenes. More focus on other characters.

Rosemary pregnant,faith and Nathan getting closer, more of Nathan being a Mountie,jack and Lucas bonding, Lucas and Elizabeth dates and kissing , Lucas proposing .

Nathan

I already cancelled Hallmark first thing this morning. The writers and showrunners have no credibility for me any longer, and I did not make my decision based on the triangle alone.

More focus on characters not named Elizabeth.

Henry and Abigail rosemarys paper lee for mayor Elizabeth and Lucas getting closer Nathan finding someone

I want Henry and Abigail to come back and see how that relationship plays out. I like the show but what got me excited was there relationship. Love enemies to lovers stories play out. I also hope they bring back Lori. Though she definitely does not need to be such a huge part of the show as she once was.

NOT Faith with Nathan.

Minnie Canfield becoming more a part of the town community with her fabulous boldness and integrity. I really love her.

Allie and Nathan having some incredible adoptive father-daughter laughter and tears moments, like her teasing him, him teasing her, and them going on trips together, just ALL Nathan and Allie. They deserve a spin-off. They are a great father-daughter love story. Way better than the romantic one.

Elizabeth and Lucas go on a very long trip to Europe together and season 9 is all about Hope Valley without them.

Fiona doing everything she does with boldness and fun, cause she is fantastic. Fiona getting into some real schemes!

Henry brings Abigail back.

First and foremost a little Coulter. I'll be interested to see how Rosemary's paper and hopefully Mayor Lee are doing haha. Definitely more of the friendship b/w the women, I love Florence & Molly as well as Fiona & Clara & Faith. More Nathan & Allie, and hopefully Nathan enjoying himself and meeting someone new. More of the Canfields.

Better writing

Less stressful situations. Mr. Canfield becoming the town's preacher. So happy that Hope Valley will have a preacher. Someone the town people can go to with their problems. Only good can come from putting faith back into the show. Thank you.

Henry and Abigail in some form; Rosemary being a tenacious journalist; real relationship work and personalities for Jesse and Clara; a fun mayoral race; the town coming together again for important things unlike the complete lack of momentum this season from Jesse being lost or the rig exploding; and just get rid of Faith. Bring back Dottie or something.

Nathan and Allie, Nathan Nathan and Elizabeth’s friendship, Nathan and Lucas getting along, Nathan moving on from Elizabeth, Lee and Rosemary talk about kids, and more Canfields.

A well-written storyline for Nathan, not him just as a background town mountie popping if needed sometimes

more happiness!!! Obv I still want drama but also it’s my comfort show so I just want to watch it and not be yelling at Elizabeth and other characters the whole time lol.

Elizabeth and Nathan - together!

Less commercials

Won’t be watching, but best wishes to the show!

I would like to see Abigail return, and have Lee and Rosemary somehow have a kid, though I’m not confident that either of those things will happen. I’m not sure if I’ll tune into season 9, we’ll see.

Rosemary and Lee finally starting a family, and for anything good to happen to Nathan whether it's above interest or something else. He suffered this season, he deserves good things to come his way.

I hope to see more character development. I would especially like to learn more about Nathan and Lucas now that the decision is made. I want them to be more than suitors for Elizabeth. I would also like to see them become friends. If Nathan must have a love interest, I would be interested in a woman of color being casted for the role. Also, even though it would be nice to see Rosemary and Lee have a baby, I think it would be really interesting to have them adopt a child or two (siblings).

Up until a little while ago, I was very opposed to the thought of Abigail returning. I wouldn't put it past them, and if Gowan isn't gone forever, it could be an interesting plot. (She would need to take on a less involved role, and not sure Loughlin would agree with that)

I want Henry back (don't care if it's with or without Abigail). Lee & Rosie to have a baby (don't care how). Nathan (& Allie) to have a good storyline and to be happy.

I just want to see Lucas and Elizabeth break up. I cannot hammer home enough how painful that final scene was. If this is how their relationship is going to be, I'm barely going to survive.

Abigail

Elizabeth comes to realize she is indeed in love with Nathan when she sees how taken Little Jack is with him. Little Jack never warms up to Lucas...ever.

I’m not watching, so I don’t care.

Henry’s happiness ally and Nathan scenes more Elizabeth and Lucas dating and an engagement and nick ham oil buisness

It should be the last season. The writers deserve to be unemployed for taking the series to this point.

Not watching season 9

Don’t care.

Nothing

Elizabeth - goes to Nathan — bring up happy with Lucas —- so they can be together (hey, they guy had more emotion than Lucas !!

I’ll wait to watch. Follow along on social media to make sure they don’t massacre any other storylines first.

Elizabeth and Lucas break up

Nathan to find his true love and Rosemary and Lee to start a family.

Elizabeth and Lucas to be married, Rosemary and Lee addressing the baby question and what happens with Henry trying to start with a clean slate

Better plotlines for the Coulters and the return of Henry

Henry and Abigail

A continuation of the stories already set up.

The survey did not give me an opportunity to say that Nathan needs to STILL get together with Elizabeth, so I had to pick someone else. The survey should be designed so that I do NOT have to pick an answer that I do NOT believe in. I hope that the writers will realize that they set up a story, especially at the end of season 7 and in 8 where it looked liked they were setting up Nathan as Elizabeth’s choice. Her choice of Lucas makes me wonder if she is only responding to the “temptation” she feels around Lucas. (He tells her, It is not a date, but if it were a date and he lightly touches her hand...This is duplicitous behavior!) Elizabeth and Nathan have tough conversations about real life and they have the kind of relationship that is very healthy for a long term marriage. ...Frankly, I CANNOT watch a “romance” develop between Lucas and Elizabeth. They might have a similar interest in literature, but the inside character and values of each of them are very different. Elizabeth only needed a little opportunity once Nathan was free of guilt to give him a chance to win over the “romantic” side of her heart.

Lee and Rosemary adopting a child!

For Elizabeth to dump Lucas or for Nathan to meet someone new who will really value him and let him in

I am not sure if I will be watching season 9 as yet. I need to figure out if I can get past the finale first... It took me over a year to come back after Jack's death and with the way the finale has disrespected the past 3 seasons, I don't know if I have it in me. I want to, I just don't know if I can.

Still on fence about watching it

Wholesome cast

Do not really care.

a baby for the Coulters, the development of the relationship between Elizabeth, little Jack and Lucas, the story of Nathan's journey to love, a challenge the community has to face together, a love interest for Fiona, the development of the Canfields. No more Bill and Molly. I love Bill's character - especially the role he has in Elizabeth and little Jack's life - and Molly is fine too, but I don't see any chemistry there.

Nathan becoming more popular than Elizabeth

I want a happy ending for Nathan and Allie.

N/a

Only the new adventures of Nathan, Allie, Rosemary, Lee, the Canfields, Bill and Molly, Florence and Ned and the return of Henry.

No interest in watching 9

I hope the mayoral race is fill of humor and not contention.

Whatever they write

Mike and fionas business Rosemary pregnant Nathan and Lucas are friends Elizabeth’s book is released maybe a baby for Clara Nathan and faith together ally and Robert together Henry returns Lucas and jack bonding Elizabeth continue to teach and Lucas proposing

I wont be watching to find out, but some respect for Nathan and Allie, and Rosemary and Lee. I have an inkling that Rose and Lee are going to be screwed over next. Hopefully E and L just break up randomly bc idk how anyone could sit through the show and watch them together. It's disturbing

I'm not sure of the year anymore, but the Spanish Flu should be showing up any day. I have a list of characters that could fall victim.... let's start with Elizabeth.

less kissing

Better writing, less pair-the-spares, more focus on relationships and less on interpersonal drama.

More Nathan

More Lee and Rosemary. Nathan getting a storyline instead of being a punching bag.

Not going to watch it.

Not watching

Rosie and Lee having a family of their own either by adoption or pregnancy.

Increased focus on entire ensemble.

I won't watch season 9, but I hope that they finally give Nathan and Allie happiness. I hope Allie calls him dad, and that she gets her own horse, and I wish that Elizabeth would just leave them both alone now. I hope that whoever they do pair Nathan with loves and appreciates him for who he is, and loves Allie, and puts them above everyone else. Bonus points if whoever she is tells Elizabeth to back the hell off at some point!

More of Nathan

Nothing

Not watching

Break up of Elizabeth and Lucas

Don't care not watching anymore

More action and real suspense.

Don't care not watching anymore

Lucas and Elizabeth getting married.

Meaningful conversations between E & L; Nathan being Allie's dad/Allie supporting him through his loss of Elizabeth; Hopefully Elizabeth, Lucas, and Nathan can still be friends.

Continued better writing and character growth.

More of Nathan. I really like his character. I want more of his past and what has shaped him. I want to see his honest and noble character.

More challenging life experiences; give Fiona more prominence ... perhaps as a stringer for Rosemary’s paper; Jesse develop some character.

better more coherent writing

Henry back

I don’t care. I’m no longer a viewer after this season.

Elizabeth realizing Nathan is the one and Nathan rejecting her the whole season, having another serious love interest but forgiving her for her bad choice at the end

More emotion from Nathan . A chance in Elizabeth

Elizabeth realizing she made a mistake

Many interesting stories

Lee and Rosemary getting back on their "parenting issues" the whole Rachel thing was put in and taken away way too soon? There were a lot of things thrown in this season just for something to do, and at this point, since Nathan is still the mountie...more proper mounties storylines, like the investigation on the tampered oil, that was cool (maybe I should just switch to Murdoch's Mysteries XD)

Very little of Elizabeth and Lucas

Improved writing by then staff

see less of E and L and see more of the other characters , Nathan and Faith just become friends who console each other for their heartaches not a couple

Bill & Molly

I have no hope for season nine

Abigail come back as EP because obviously Erin is terrible at it. Kick Tinker to the curb and bring back season 1 showrunner. Bring back Julie and Cat Montgomery.

less drama

Lee and Rosemary have a child.

I'm not very hopful.

Nathan and Ally moving on and eventually finding a family with a woman as selfless and noble as Nathan.

I don't even know, I'm just so angry and sad.

Don't Care , will not be watching.. I am finished with the Hallmark Channel and anything Hallmark.

Just a continuation of the hopeful storylines and of course the romance

Faith being more in charge Ned and Florence being married lee running for mayor Elizabeth and Lucas engament jack growing ally and Robert and a baby for Clara

Focus on building a compelling beautiful story for Nathan; that his heart will heal. That he will fall in love with a new beautiful lady coming to town, which will be a deeper and more epic love that would have been with Elizabeth. More storylines with Nathan and Allie; Rosemary and Lee to be parents. Hope that writers and producers will not ruin Nathan's character and storyline. And do not pair Nathan with Faith nor Fiona. Hope there will be less of Elizabeth and Lucas and focus on other characters.

more time spent on the storylines - not so many brief scenes

Nathan gets a love story as glorious as Elizabeth & Jack.

Will not be watching. This heartie is broken and lost hope.

Elizabeth engaged

Elizabeth and Lucas happy and in love. I hope we get plenty of Florence and she doesn’t fade into the background now that they gave her a romance. I’m also hoping for more of the Canfield family. Idk if there will be any progress on the Coulter family front, but I would like to see them adopt an older child or at least decide to sometime later this season. Nothing against them finding fulfillment without a child (I love a happy childless couple!), but it’s been established they want to be parents and it would be nice for them to do that as well. I do hope Henry comes back without Abigail! I’d miss Henry, but I don’t miss Abigail lol. I won’t be mad if she comes back, but I don’t want her either. Looking forward to whatever the season brings!

More story with the Canfields.

Don’t care

Any other comments?

I will only watch to support Kevin, Kayla, and Jaeda. Nathan was by far by favorite character on the show. Kevin McGarry deserves better than this decision and I hope that they will give his character more air time next season

Everybody calm down. There was nothing new, better, worse, different, or surprising about how this season was written/handled. We don't watch WTCH for it's sparkling dialogue and satisfying storylines. We hope for something showing decent people living good lives with faith and optimism, and they still manage to do that (and have finally brought back the "faith" part of this with the arrival of a new pastor) even if they screw the pooch with the details.

I understand why people were mad about the finale, but idk all this hate on IG us just rude and disrespectful to the crew

Team Nathan!

I cannot enjoy WCTH because it’s not remotely entertaining if you can’t trust you understanding of the story over time.

None

This was my first season watching live and despite the fallout from the triangle I had fun

Nothing I haven't or you haven't or the fandom hasn't already covered. I'm just disappointed in all the potential they threw out the window. I have zero trust in the PTB. They don't care about these characters.

I will pretend that the series finale was season 7. I don’t know how I will ever love the show like I used too. I’m too tired of the letdowns.

You’re the best, I’m so thankful you let us vent and give us sane, logical takes about this show. OH and all you Team Nathan people boycott the crap out of this show and maybe they will reverse their decision to Nathan on the love triangle. At these tank the ratings. You don’t owe the show runners anything for destroying this show.

I truthfully haven't seen a single episode. Had it recorded and followed this blog and live viewing comments on the FB page. After hearing how everything went down in the last episode, I have absolutely no desire to watch the season. I could have forgiven Elizabeth for how she acted towards everyone if it was truly her working through her fears of being with another Mountie. But since that wasn't the case, I have a lot of dislike for her (and the writers) now.

Thanks for your blog. I appreciate it. There must be a reason for how this turned out. Although we we can't see it and will probably never know the answer. It suck

I was Team Nathan for a long time - pretty much two years. I saw the writing on the wall when Lucas said he would wait and again when Elizabeth was resistant to moving forwarding with Nathan at so many steps along the way. Even the hand holding post wedding seemed intentionally friend zone. And look on her face when she realized that she was acting with Nathan like she did with Jack, to me that was the end. All the signs were there. Some people were so routed in Nathan that they couldn't see another possibility. I have opened my mind to Lucas because I love the show. And you know what - it's not so bad in land of Lucas and Elizabeth. For those who are devastated and done, maybe down the road, when you're feeling less heart broken, you might want to try going back and watching with a more open mind. There is some pretty hot stuff there. Because of my love for Nathan (and yes, I still love him!) I couldn't have said that a year ago. :)

It's not because my guy didn't win the girl, but because this story is getting too much like a soap opera and in the case of that last love scene, a little trashy for a family show.

After next season I will look at the recap. If you have changed Elizabeth's stupid decision I will watch again, if not, there are plenty of other shows to watch.

The love triangle wasn’t real in the true sense of the word since Elizabeth never went on a date with Nathan.

Brian Bird is a jerk.

I have never been so mad and sad at the conclusion of a TV show..not really my personality. BUT the chemistry between Nathan and Elizabeth was undeniable. Nathan proved over three seasons to be his own unique character, and fans would not have labeled him as Jack 2.0. There would have been plenty more stories to tell. Now I think I am done watching. The other characters are great, but the story is mostly Elizabeth’s....the way it was created and, in spite of Jack’s death, the way it has continued. I honestly think the producers want a show that is going to last for a long, long time, so it needs to begin focusing on other characters. And I also think that Nathan and Elizabeth would have been so great together that the spotlight would have stayed on them. This would have wrecked the direction the producers want the show to go, but instead the show is just wrecked by a new formula that isn’t working.

What a relief that I can move on and actually feel so good about it. Yippee!

I was really enjoying this season, I thought they were doing really well and better than they ever have and then in the last episode it felt so rushed and thrown together without any thought!!! That ruined the entire season for me. I can’t even go back and watch it again because it’s all for nothing! It was so obvious that E was in love with N but just scared of her past, I was waiting for something to happen for her to realize. And maybe to see the quote that N gave her again. It seemed that L was just a rebound/distraction I didn’t see one ounce of affection from E toward L. And what about the bachelorette party? Didn’t that mean she was meant to be with N? And the touch in the library? They were portrayed as “sparks” but apparently it was mistaking him for Jack??? Come on, we are meant to believe that garbage??? There was none of those scenes with L, what love story are they talking about in the last scene? So many things! How can N say it was L all along when we saw zero evidence of that!

I’m finished with the show. I do not care to see how S9 plays out. They do not deserve my time after the complete disregard to viewers time and investment over the last 8 years. I am appalled at the reaction from Brian Bird and Chris McNally. I have never been so offended as a fan. I will not watch so they can send their rude tweets to the very few people that still watch their show. I’m DONE!!!

Disappointed in Elizabeth but think back to season 2 and how she led on Charles...no surprise with how she treated poor Nathan

I'm going to watch Season 9. Just skip over E's storylines. I now hate her.

Too many storylines this season, writers need to tighten it up. Love triangle was handled the worst possible way it could be handled.

This season was a disappointment unfortunately. And not only because of Elizabeth, but also because my favorite characters either weren’t a big enough part of the storyline or they just were so different from previous seasons.

I'm still so shocked at the outcome of this finale. It's even more egregious to me because they managed to ruin just about every character and it was so unnecessary. I wish they had Elizabeth choose Lucas in the first episode of this season that way they could have let them grow together while also letting Nathan begin to move on and Nathan and Lucas to begin a friendship. But they took it so far and raked everybody through the coals that I just can't imagine any of that happening right now in a realistic way. I think I'm the most upset because there is a world where I would have been fine with Elizabeth choosing Lucas. But they spent the whole season + prior seasons showing us that her love for Nathan was deeper, that there was more to explore there and that her time with Lucas was limited & she couldn't be with him because she kept thinking about Nathan (I don't care what any one says, that is what was done) that I couldn't even get into the relationship between Elizabeth & Lucas. Then at the last second went JK NOT THAT'S NOT WHAT WE WERE DOING AND YOU'RE STUPID FOR THINKING THAT! It's just so unbelievable.

Unsure if I will watch

Very disappointed with the finale.

They got it so wrong...

The love triangle was annoying and a straight line. Elizabeth was horribly written. Nathan was screwed over. TeamNathan got screwed over. I will still watch just to see what happens next. I will not let Elizabeth/Lucas storyline ruin it for me.

The finale was my favorite episode of the series. I’m so happy they didn’t go down the same road as jack with her picking Nathan .I love Nathan’s character as a Mountie but NOT with Elizabeth. I’m so looking forward to seeing her and Lucas as a happy in love couple I’m just so happy and there kisses were so beautiful and passionate I couldn’t love them more.

They made the case for a beautiful love story between Nathan and elizabeth- not for Lucas and Elizabeth. The ending of that triangle was not believable for me. Kevin McGarry is a fabulous actor with tremendous range and seems to bring out the best in any scene partner he has had. He has always been believable in everything I have seen him in. He is a true leading man and they should be treating him better or he will/does not have to stay with the show. I am not trying to trash Chris McNally, but he is rather limited as an actor and looks almost wooden in some scenes. I can't always hear his dialogue because he speaks too low or too fast sometimes and he is not always believable for me- nice to look at, yes, but not the actor Kevin is. Maybe they partnered him with Erin so she could help him develop more. I love Allie, Rosemary, Henry, Bill, and Fiona and can see some great stories ahead for them if the writers don't screw things up. I would never be able to stomach Lori Loughlin and Abigail again, and I feel they will force her back on the fans next season. As evidenced by the love scenes in the finale, Hallmark is changing this show forever- it will be edgier, sexier and much less "Christian-based". Not sure if the Hearties will accept that. I don't really care anymore as I am no longer supporting Hallmark channel. Don't like the mess they made this season, or many of the changes made in their movies of late. I have found myself tuning out a great deal. I hope people like Kevin McGarry, Jaeda, Kayla Wallace and Pascale are seen i other non-Hallmark projects so I can enjoy seeing their work. Really disenchanted with Erin Krakow's performances of late.

Thanks for all the work you do running this blog!

I’m very happy with this season I will continue watching as long as it continues. Does anyone here watch new Amsterdam tv series?

Love that they took characters who are always in the background and gave them actual storylines.

I think I’m in the anger phase of grieving. I’m sorry if the answers cause a reopening of wounds but it feels right to me to call them on their shit by voicing the injustice of treating your viewers this way. These writers just told the laziest, quickest, ficklest (?) “love story” I have ever seen, EVER.

Thank you so much for everything you've done this past season! I really enjoy your blog and your insights on the show as well.

There can be a conflict with women owning business (no offense) and other women in the show working and having families. Please keep the show from becoming so feminist. Please retain some strong men.

Thanks for the survey!

I hope season 9 explains things and or finishes plots left behind in season 8.

That ending really just made no sense at all..what was the point of the whole season before it?!

Nope!

Terribly written finale. So rushed and smacked together. Yuck

Sigh... it really was a letdown after it seemed that all the signs were pointing to Elizabeth facing her fears and accepting the love of Nathan and loving him in return and them being one big, happy family.

This was my first season watching WCTH in years (since like season 2), so I’m glad I wasn’t too invested just to be disappointed in the end with the decision Elizabeth made.

I hate that Elizabeth used to be my favorite character to the point of seeing myself in her, but now I really dislike her. On the bright side, at least I've grown to love Rosemary enough for her to be my new favorite!

I think the writers need to listen to their audience and work to smooth out this bumpy season. I hope the writers are more selective with the storylines they choose so that those arcs can be fully developed. For example, Jesse being missing in the last two episodes was mishandled in my opinion. So few people cared that he was gone and I don't think the writers even fully explained what happened to him.

So glad the triangle is over, and I hope we never see anything like it for anyone else again.

Overall I liked this season (except the love triangle stuff) but I don't know if it will be enough to keep me watching. Guess I'll have to see how season 9 plays out.

I'm glad Carson is gone lmao. I'd be pretty happy if I never saw him again. Henry better be back. Lucas and Elizabeth can move to Hamilton...seriously. Baby Jack deserves a more attentive and present mother. But honestly, keep Carson away & write Lucas and Elizabeth off and I'd be DELIGHTED and actually stoked for season 9.

The stories are lame. I want more Lee and Rosemary. I did not like Christopher/Rachel. And, why are they doing with Henry? It’s all confusing.

Please consider reversing Elizabeth's choice. She and Nathan look so good together. Lucas is too lecherous looking in my opinion.

I wonder if Rachel will return will Lucas and Nathan become friends?

The season sucked! The writing was poor and there really wasn’t a triangle. They misled and lied to the viewers. It would have been easier to accept Elizabeth’s decision if we saw her date both men and see how it worked out with each of them. The writers never gave Nathan the opportunity but instead used him as a punching bag the whole season.

I can’t even bear to rewatch any of the seasons after that ending. I’m so glad I didn’t preorder the season—and I’ve canceled my HM subscription.

Get new writers!

I was for either guy at the beginning of the season. All they had to do was show me the love story. They didn’t do that.

The choice of Lucas was ridiculous. Will no longer watch the show. I’m very sad.

If you are going to have Elizabeth and Lucus in a relationship I would hope that you would work on him becoming more child friendly. If he doesn’t accept little Jack then he doesn’t deserve Elizabeth. They are a package deal.

Love the show. I think people that threaten to stop watching because “Team Nathan” are just bellyaching and will wind up watching it again just to have something to grouse about. It’s just a TV show, people. If it always goes the way you want you’ll just complain that the writing is getting stale!

love your blog

Extremely disappointed with this season. Will no longer watch.

This season felt like it was perfectly setting up for the next. It felt like a lot of new beginnings were being set up leaving us ready to explore.

I’m personally Team Lucas so I’ve been happy with the decision but I actually think if Nathan had “won” it would have been more interesting for Lucas in s9 so actually think Nathan as a character will have a better, more interesting s9

I said the season was good and the writing was, but I will clarify that the finale TOTALLY ruined the underlying track that was being built up for Elizabeth to choose Nathan. I don’t believe that the script writers gave Nathan the chance that they gave Lucas. Elizabeth grilled him to try to find him guilty of wrong, but Lucas had a number of shady deals that reveal poor character and Elizabeth did not find out about those and have a chance to grill him. If she knew those things, would she still be choosing him? Elizabeth was allowed to be “charmed” by his superficial lifestyle and empty promises. Because of Lucas’s shady dealings, he and Elizabeth almost got killed in the saloon. Later, he said he would never let anything happen to her. Nathan was the one who saved Elizabeth and Nathan’s life in that scene. Lucas is a talker with empty promises and Nathan is the one who actually rescued Elizabeth from Lucas’s bad deeds. The ending of Season 8, Episode 12 is NOT even logical. She needed someone like Nathan to protect her from Lucas. If this is REALLY who Elizabeth is, I don’t want to watch her. She does not follow her own advice. Once Lucas’s full character is revealed, we would only have to watch her get hurt over and over.. I CANNOT watch an Elizabeth and Lucas love story. The writers should not be biased against Nathan just because he was a Mountie. He should be seen for himself. Also, if Elizabeth cannot love Nathan because he might get killed this is not a strong enough reason. Lucas could get killed. She told Ned that he could miss the joy if he didn’t go thru with his wedding with Florence. This should have indicated that she would get over her own fears so that she could experience joy with Nathan.

I truly hope everyone gets to the end of season 9 and is pleasantly surprised. It is the eternal optimist in me, but I would love to see getting there and being unable to imaging things being any other way, despite the heartbreak we all feel for the series right now. As I mentioned, I have my doubts, however am trying very, very hard to keep an open mind.

I hated the way Nathan was treated this season and won’t be watching anymore.

You are amazing for what you do with this blog and I thank you for your efforts to make it so enjoyable day after day.

I think my opinion on this site is in the minority, but Lucas and Elizabeth have solid chemistry and the chance for an interesting relationship. However, I would have been cool with Nathan too. I love Kevin McGarry and want to see more of his fun side as he dates and raises Ally. Could absolutely be a great relationship between Fiona and Nathan, but someone new could be exciting too if it's the right person. Happy the triangle is over. Disappointed at the number of self-proclaimed "Hearties" who are acting like angry (Team Nathan) or gloating (Team Lucas) children. I love this show because it's about kindness, being decent to one another, and forgiveness. I had hoped fans on all sides would follow that lead, but not so much I guess. Here's to hoping we all embrace the Hope Valley way, putting the triangle behind us and moving on to whatever comes next!

I thought I would continue to watch even if she chose Lucas but after the way the season played out, I feel like TPTB care more about generating drama for the ratings than good storytelling and I won’t be used like that again.

I gave season 8 an average rating because I liked the stories about Nathan/Allie, the arrival of the Canfields, the love story of Florence/Ned and finally the story of Henry and his son.

Fans need to stop getting hung up on everything BB and the actors say to manipulate viewers into watching. I learned that lesson the hard way from Pretty Little Liars. We were misled over and over by the showrunner and let down every season finale. The series finale was the longest hour of ridiculous shit to ever air on tv. We were looking for clues the whole time (7 years) and there were no clues, just a lot of pointless crap. I never pay attention to anything BB says on social media or what actors say in interviews. I watch WCTH without looking for clues or expecting any outcome. I saw E picking L a mile away. I like the idea of a heartbroken Nathan getting his own romantic storyline and look forward to that new love story next season.

This was a very good season I like the direction they went with this season and I’m very happy the triangle is finally over and she ended up with the man of her dreams. Lucas and Elizabeth are endgame .

Screwed us over big time. Not just us but the characters too. Nothing made sense and the whole season was for nothing because the story didnt go anywhere. Dont trust Hallmark anymore to write a complete, meaningful, and satisfying story. They disrespected everything about storytelling, the show, and disrespected the community that watched and supported the content. Someone either stupid, bitter, vengeful, or horny decided this finale. F them

Thank you for all you do!

The more I read about the writers of this show and some of the actors responses to the fans disappointment, the Lee’s I want anything yo do with this show. They’re arrogant, disrespectful; I guess thy think they’re so popular that everyone will tune in again next year. They think they have it in the bag. Nope! I believe season 9 will be a failure and probably their last one.

I don't hate the season but the bad balanced out the good so severely I felt like it was just a 'meh' season. I guess that's still an improvement from how I felt about S6 and 7, though.

Hopefully HM fires John Tinker his writing was awful. I don’t mean the triangle everything was dumb and disjointed

I don't know why I watch this show. But I must enjoy it on some level.

Been a fan from day one - you lost 70% of your viewers. Some comments from WCTH have made the fans feel if you don’t like their story line don’t watch - they are correct - I won’t ! Should of listen to the 70%. Good luck with your viewer ship you forgot who pays you!

I was surprised that E. was so insensitive leading Nathan on for so long. She is also very materialistic and obviously chose Lucas for all that he could do for her without much depth.

Honestly, I mainly watch the show for Rosemary and Lee. I would like to see them become parents at some point, but I would also like a little more of Rosemary’s backstory. We gotten some of Lee’s backstory. I think it would be interesting to meet some of Rosemary’s family at some point. I am glad that Lee and Rosie are finding their niches career wise.

I just don’t see Lucas as Jack’s father. He hasn’t cared one whit for the boy, and yet the boy is everything to Elizabeth?? Doesn’t make sense. Since I don’t want Abigail back, I hope Henry isn’t going to get her. Alas that also means I think he’s likely left the show. Maybe good for Martin, since it has veered so far away from its beginning. Thanks for all your work on this Melanie. I value it a lot!

I wish I could take back the last three years of life that I invested in this show. If I had known they would do this I never would have come back after Jack's death. Despite that, I still love and adore and am invested in Nathan and Allie, and some other side characters. But I can't even fathom watching season 9 after what the writers did. My WCTH, the one I loved and enjoyed, ended with season 7.

Bring Elizabeth and Nathan together

See Elizabeth and nathan hitched and get married

love the show Wish there wasn't such a long wait for the next season

I hope they can redeem themselves. I'm a true hearty and I've never missed an episode. I can't stomach the person Elizabeth is becoming. I will stop watching if she doesn't go back to the Elizabeth we fell in love with.

New actors for Ally and little Jack, or less time on screen

The storytelling was not coherent; storylines started and ended abruptly with no flow. They need to get back to the roots of the show and make it more of a family drama again, not an over-the-top soap opera.

Chris McNally and Brian Bird’s attitudes are contemptible. I was not happy with the finale and how everything played out, but their comments have set me over the edge to choose not to support anything they are in or a part of. Rude, self righteous attitudes from both. I’m done.

I am shocked at my own reactions. A TV show shouldn't have so much affect on me but I am truly unhappy with Elizabeth's choice...and I think I am crazy because it is really bothering me!!

I am upset how the season ended. She picked the wrong man. I see no chemistry there.

Honestly no, I am not happy with how the characters were written, both Lucas and Nathan deserved better, Elisabeth came across as constantly freaking out and not following her heart while running over a lot of people (Rosemary, Nathan and Allie in particular) but she's never been my favourite character anyway, so whatever.

p.s. thank you so much for all your amazing work! I love your gifs and your blog <3 keep it up!

Elizabeth’s character has changed drastically. She has become egotistical, pompous, cruel, The character that Jeanette Oke originally wrote is nothing like the Elizabeth we now have.

Elizabeth played games with Nathan and Lucas just like she did with Jack and Charles. The series was written about a school teacher and a Mountie. Not so anymore.

The betrayal of the original story and the fan base is hard to overcome.

I have completely changed my opinion about this show, Erin Krakow, and the direction this series is going in.

This season had so much promise but the finale left me angry. Agree with other comments that if they had invested in a better story for E&L it would be different. Warming the serge was the only time E “might” have been confusing Nathan for Jack. Their relationship was so different... single parenting, especially. Their love story could’ve been even more epic than E & J. Just a real shame. Will not continue to watch. Moving on.

The writer's blew this. I am absolutely disgusted with the character of Elizabeth. There is no way a school teacher and mother would have been allowed to associate with a saloon owner in that time period without being run out of town. It's ridiculous that they expect fans to be okay with this.

If I decide to watch, I will skip the Elizabeth and Lucas scenes.

I just discovered your Tumblr site yesterday: it a really comprehensive and insightful work!

Thank you so much for your blog, I seriously need a place to vent and scream for a while. This is ridiculous.

Tell your bean counter I will not be watching . Hallmark has gone WOKE.

Hopefully John tinker will continue a show runner he did a wonderful job brought some new life to help Valley

I’m very happy with all of the promising storylines in season 9 , Rosemary and Lee’s business vendors, faith being the head doctor Henry’s story Elizabeth and Lucas finally being a couple there is a lot of promise in season 9

Tinker and the producers destroyed in 1 season, what Moreno worked so hard in weaving and building up a beautiful storyline with Nathan and Elizabeth to form the Grant family. They have to understand that fans are leaving not because of Elizabeth's final choice. The reason is that Tinker and the producers disregarded the premise and the family wholesomeness of the show, and debased it by making it into a poorly written soap opera with lots of shouting and cheap superficial steamy scenes and called it "romance'. They did not take the time to carefully development of storyline of why Elizabeth's decision. If they have done a good job leading to Lucas as a decision, I think that Team Nathan's fans would have accepted the choice. Instead, they played with fans emotions and hurt them badly through the season from both Teams misleading them and make them think who was the endgame. They need to realize that we watch WCTH because of the feel good and heart warming story. The fans kept to the end because they wanted to see their guy been chosen, even though there was lots of anger and disappointment. Who really wants to watch a show that does not entertain us in a heartwarming way. Tinker and the producers are arrogant, prideful, foolish, and not to be trusted and have no integrity to go back to what WCTH values that kept the loyal Hearties coming back yearly. They destroyed all Moreno's hard work to rescue the show after season 5. We wanted a family friendly clean show that make us happy and hopeful. The show is shifting to likes of Dallas and Dynasty with steamy scenes, skimpy clothes, bickering and may become darker stories.

Tinker did a horrendous job by introducing too many disjointed scenes and characters that led nowhere. He did not take the opportunity to develop the story behind Allie's dad, Rosemary and Lee barely had any storyline, many couples bickering and destroyed Elizabeth's character as a morally strong caring woman. The "new" Elizabeth in this season was cruel, mean, self-centred, uncaring and was not really sorry or remorseful for her actions that hurt Nathan and Allie badly, as well as Rosemary. Is unrealistic that Nathan was the one who convinced Lucas to stay.

Positives of the show was Ned and Florence's romance and wedding. Loved the Nathan and Allie's storyline. Nathan portrayed as the noble, sacrificial, kind, wise, heroic and because he loved Elizabeth, he let her go. It showed that Nathan was the better man with an impeccable character.

After this season, Elizabeth has been cheapened to a weak character that did not overcome fear, getting onto people's affair (Especially into Nathan's even when she rejected him, which gave him false hopes), was attracted to wealth and superficial romance, instead of the deep abiding unconditional love with Nathan. She became hypocritical by giving everybody advise and yet she did opposite to what she was saying. This Elizabeth did not deserve to have Nathan. He is too good for her. I don't know what will happen to littleJack as I can't see Lucas to love Jack as his own. He might be raised by nannies (as Elizabeth have already done) and become a Little Lord Fauntleroy.

If the writers and producers are smart, they should focus on developing a compelling and heartfelt story for Nathan. In my opinion, he is the favourite character that embodies all the good values in When Calls the Heart, even through his imperfections. If they focus on Nathan and weave a great story, they may get some of Team Nathan fans coming back to the show and avoid cancellation after season 9.

Thank you for providing a platform to voice my opinion and disappointment of Tinker and the producers (eg Bird, Erin Krakow) ruining a show that could have been wonderful with lovely storylines for years to come.

It is time to move on from the love triangle. No matter what a fan group was going to be heartbroken. No point feeling so betrayed. We were never promised an outcome one way or the other so there was no betrayal. There was only disappointment of not getting what we wanted.

This was my least favorite season overall. The main characters didn't seem quite themselves, key couples weren't in sync, no compelling storylines other than the arrival of the wonderful Canfields, Elizabeth & Rosemary were even on the outs. Missed the kids (although completely understand why they couldn't be there). And very, very disappointed in the ending. Not a fan of Lucas' character at all.

Hallmark really dropped it on this one. Look at the survey and polls the fans wanted Nathan! A good show ruined. If this was the plan for Elizabeth a different actor should have been cast as Lucas. No chemistry , a saloon owner it just makes NO sense. The storylines are so disappointing. I am done!

I have some complaints, but overall I liked the season and am genuinely excited for season nine! Positive feelings here for sure! Still, I understand and respect that a sizeable portion of the fandom is upset (I was prepared to be completely crushed myself so I Get It). Since the love triangle ended the way I wanted, I’m relieved and prepared to just enjoy whatever comes our way next.

PS to the person behind this survey and blog - we have some ugh... disagreements, but you have contributed so much to this fandom with your gifs and these surveys. Thank you so much for that. <3

Ratings were down in the key 18-49 demo by 10 percent last year, and now 20 percent this year while total viewers remain flat. I guess we’ll see if their gamble pays off next season. But it really seems like a lot of their most loyal fans really got hurt, and as we know, karma is a b%^^. So much for the showrunner righting the ship.

#When Calls the Heart #WCTH polls

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droogiesanddiscourse · 4 years

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Valentine’s Day with the Reservoir Dogs

WOO WE GETTING FESTIVE ON DROOGIESANDDISCOURSE.TUMBLR.COM TONIGHT! (A little early) but anyways I wish y’all a very happy Valentine’s Day :) and if you don’t have a valentine to share it with, surprise I’M your valentine hehe. Also Mr. Brown’s honestly the best of these HCs we love him.

Warnings: None! Brief mentions of sex, but it is not explicit at all. I think this is safe for everyone!

Mr. Orange (Freddy Newandyke)

• Is the most romantic of the dogs! He doesn’t have a lot of money, but he tries to spoil you to the best of his ability on Valentine’s Day.

• Usually this involves a fancy dinner date at some not too high class restaurant in your city. All dressed up, makeup, hair done, that kinda stuff. Freddy will laugh at how put together the two of you look, the complete opposite of your casual style.

• Will probably convince you to put on overly fake British accents at the restaurant and claim you are high class, affluent members of society. He’ll convince you he’s a really good actor and you’ll get away with it if you follow his lead.

• You just can’t say no to him. You indulge in his goofy antics.

• The two of you will get completely wasted off of cheap wine you bought on a whim at the liquor store driving home from dinner.

• This leads to you goofing around, dancing on top of the table, silly shit like that. Your classy appearances start to fade away as you become more and more disheveled.

• He lives a hard life, he is under constant pressure and stress. The only place he truly feels safe is with you. And the alcohol brings down his inhibitions even more.

• You’ll pass out in your clothes around 5am, snuggling with each other. You don’t remember who fell asleep first in the morning. Another successful Valentine’s Day.

Mr. Blonde (Vic Vega)

• Will wake you up by gently peppering kisses down your neck. He knows how much of a light sleeper you are. And it’s always nice to wake up to your boyfriend giving you a little affection.

• “Hey, you up doll? Got ya this,” He pulls a box out from under his pillow as your eyes flutter open, still crusted with sleep. He gets you a beautiful diamond necklace. Is it stolen? Yeah totally. He won’t admit it though ok. Immediately he’ll put it around your neck, smiling at how good it looks on you.

• Will do his best to cook a rather decent dinner. He’ll wear a “Kiss the Cook” apron and has a cigarette hanging lazily from his mouth.

• Uses that apron to his advantage, constantly pointing at it while you walk by. “Ay, read the apron. Don’t think you can get away that easily. You better get over here and gimme a kiss, babygirl.”

• The two of you will go cruising around town later, he’ll stop at his favorite shake shop and get you whatever you want. His treat.

• Yeah y’all are gonna end up parking at a lookout tower and desperately making out at some point, your hands groping for each other. He’ll keep the radio on too, blasting K-Billy and the super sounds of the seventies, y’know to set the mood.

Mr. White (Larry Dimmick)

• Is very sweet and considerate! He loves Valentine’s Day, and takes the opportunity to spoil you.

• He usually wakes up earlier than you, so he’ll lay out a surprise before he goes to work. A gorgeous red dress, new heels, and matching jewelry. He’ll leave a little note next to it too.

• “Happy Valentine’s Day, (Y/N). I bought you something new for our date tonight, so be sure to get your gorgeous self ready. I’ll be back at 6pm sharp.” - Larry xo

• You’ll be so excited all day and filled with constant butterflies. But when 6 o’ clock rolls around, and you see the familiar car lights turn into the driveway, you’re downstairs in a heartbeat.

• Larry literally almost falls over from a heart attack from how good you look. He gives a low wolf whistle “Wow, (Y/N)....You look. Gorgeous.” He gives you a little twirl. “That dress...looks like it was made for you and only you.”

• He’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant in town, Joe helps pay for the entire cost. He’s glad his best friend has such a wonderful woman by his side, and roots for your relationship.

Mr. Brown

• Will do the MOST. Will show up at your door with a giant stuffed teddy bear that’s literally half of Mr. Brown’s size. When you open the door, you just see the bear at first hehe.

• He’ll move the bear to make it do some stupid dance too just to make you giggle.

• “Happy Valentine’s Day, (Y/N)!”

• Will drag you to his car. He’s got an entire itinerary of events that represent important milestones that the two of you have shared together. It’s like a citywide scavenger hunt.

• He takes a celebratory polaroid at each of these locations too!

• You visit the cafe where you met, the park where you shared your first kiss, the movie theatre in which you had your first date.

• Brown will bring you to his bed and say with pride “and here’s the place where we first made love!” You cover your face in embarrassment as he shoots up a peace sign to the camera.

• He’s really sincere you gotta give him that.

• All in all valentine’s day with Mr. Brown is totally sweet, a little cheesy, and totally celebratory of your relationship so far.

Mr Pink

• He’s one of those people who’s like “Valentine’s Day is a scam that was created by card companies to make more money...” blah blah blah. He’s kinda a buzzkill.

• But he will try his best to muster up some form of Valentine’s Day treat for you. He’ll buy you a bouquet of red roses, but of course he’ll ALWAYS make some form of excuse like

• “Well, I thought it would be nice to have some flowers to pretty this place up, right? Oh, it’s Valentine’s Day. Didn’t know that. It’s not related I promise”

• He always has to justify his monetary purchases. He’s pretty stingy, but I bet you knew that already.

• Will just casually hand you a black box across breakfast too. “Here, I got you a little something. It ain’t much, but Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.” You open it up to find the most beautiful pearl necklace. He isn’t even phased, biting into his pancakes.

• You’ll be super moved by his gesture, smiling. “Oh, Pink, it’s absolutely beautiful. You didn’t have to do this.”

• “Save it, (Y/N). I know, I know. I couldn't just leave you empty handed today. I know how much this holiday means to you and shit. So, yeah. Happy Valentines Day.”

#reservoir dogs x reader #reservoir dogs #reservoir dogs imagine #mr orange x reader #mr white x reader #mr. brown x reader #mr. pink x reader #mr. blonde x reader #mr

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internalsealpanic · 4 years

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Dick Grayson x Mercenary Reader HCs Part 1

a/n: This is basically a Dick Grayson/ Reader thingy that has been stuck in my head for months but I haven’t plotted out an actual fic for. Basically, I have the relationship mapped out in my head but I have no scenarios. I was hoping someone could suggest a plot I can play with. This part is mostly platonic with hints of a future relationship. This is pretty much in a weird version of canon running around in my head.

masterlist

You’re Deathstroke’s apprentice. (This version is the version from the Knights and Dragons movie so he isn't a complete and utter asshole. Look, I just really like that version.) Let's just say you had more moxie than self preservation. It also helps that you’re a meta with a pretty unique power. Anything drawn on your skin turns into a physical object. (You basically have a bunch of permanent markers on you in addition to your usual equipment.)

Dick doesn't like you because of your profession but has a grudging respect for your skill. You think Dick is annoying for getting in the way but you understand that he's just trying to do his best to help the city in his own useless way.

YOU LORDING YOUR HEIGHT OVER DICK WHEN YOU'RE KIDS AND YOU QUIETLY CURSING WHEN YOU STOP GROWING.

You and Dick never set out to be friends. You honestly had no clue when this even started. Maybe it was because you keep accidentally saving each other or maybe because you two have a lot to bond over such as murdered parents and emotionally inept mentors.

When it actually started: You, in full costume, recognize your least favourite bird and see that he's crying and that he not only has an ugly bruise in his face but also a bunch of other injuries. you simply sit with him and throw your arms around him letting your muscles relax as if to tell him ‘it's ok and that you’ve got him’. You let him cry into your shoulder. You understand that you have a little more in common than he's willing to admit. You use one of your motion tattoo wings as a cover from the rain and the other to keep Dick warm. When Dick finally calms down enough to think, he's jarred by how nice you are acting. your general demeanor loosened at this point you let your offense show and the very petulant look on your face draws a tired laugh out of Dick. your angry look melts to give way to something resembling relief. You stay there for a while not speaking before Dick decides he needs to leave. Without a fuss you let him go.

After that, instead of fighting each other during encounters, you two kind of just sit together and start talking about what happened since your last encounter. Or you two play rock, paper, scissors to see who ‘won’.

Dick realizes that your personality is hilariously incompatible with your chosen profession. You rant about how Slade lectures you about learning how to lie better and when they tested how bad you were at it Dick was sure Alfred would politely word it as wooden. you had good control over your body language but you had a look caught between pain and annoyance etched on your face.

Mini scenario:

Dick is really stressed out with school and vigilanteing and with Bruce that he just starts wandering around Gotham.

It was a bad idea. Wandering around Gotham is generally a bad idea especially if your head isn't on straight but there is something relaxing about just wandering around.

Dick ends up at one of Gotham's old movie theatres. One of those businesses that you're pretty sure is a front for something because you can't wrap your head around how they could possibly still be in business.

Then there you were a foot from the ticketing windows. His mind instantly recognizes you. You, in turn, recognize him instantly.

When neither of you launch into an attack, you decide to watch a movie together. After bickering for 15 minutes about what movie you should watch, you decide on a coin toss. Because you won, Dick was subjected to your love of terrible movies.

You go out for burgers afterwards and joke about the movie. You complain about the bad acting and the ridiculous story line. You even come up with how they should have done it.

Your lunch was spent outside in the parking lot of the burger joint.

You walk around some more after you explain that you haven't been to this part of Gotham and Dick gives you a mini tour.

You talk about a mix of mundane teenager things and some complaints about their occupations.

You check your watch and explain that you need to go to the grocery store for ingredients.

Dick goes with you just because. He won't admit that he's having a lot of fun.

Being teenagers they fuck around. Being exceptionally athletic and intelligent teenagers you fuck around entertainingly.

At first, you play 'the price is right' because Dick wants to prove he isn't a spoiled rich kid. He doesn't prove jack. You don't do much better but it's on the opposite end.

You get bored and frustrated so you start a scavenger hunt much to the terror of the other customers. How would you feel about 2 terrors zooming around screaming about butter and backflipping over you?

Dick is busy gloating about his victory when the store gets robbed. Dick can't do anything because right now he is a rich boy extraordinaire and should not be capable of fighting. you on the other hand is sore from losing and just yeets a can into one of the robbers faces.

Everyone's attention pans to your as you ready to lob another can at them. The robbers run leaving their unconscious friend on the floor bleeding.

You still pay for the can but ask Dick to get another one.

Walking down the street, Dick notices how many take out places are on the way and asks why you don't just eat from there. you simply tell him you like home cooking more. He notes that for next time.

You exchange phone numbers so you can plan a next time.

The next time they hang out you both bring homemade snacks to sneak into the theater.

They start hanging out in civvies and do really mundane civilian stuff you want to try and that Dick doesn't get to do enough.

You become a sort of hub of normality for Dick. He can talk to you about all the weird stuff without worrying about your not getting it or your judging him while also doing the most mind numbingly human things.

What do they usually talk about:

Casual nerdy stuff

Weird history shit you reads about

Vigilante stuff

Funny henchman stories from the perspective of a vigilante and a higher level henchman

Sometimes they talk about trauma but they only vaguely mention it

They debate over dumb things like whether there's too much variety in cereal. Guess who's on which side.

Sometimes they discuss fighting techniques.

Dick teaches you Romani and about the Romani culture

You sometimes explains various myths and superstitions from your own culture

Dick sometimes talks about school and galas and you end up making fun of weird rich people. They also end up making fun of the various rich people who hire you.

You'll talk about almost everything with each other

You bring him to one of your safe houses for a home cooked meal after he tells you how he lives off of cereal. You were horrified.

The Titans, Batman, and Alfred get really suspicious about Dick's new civilian friend.

Slade gets suspicious of you frequently visiting certain cities.

Somehow they figure out that you are the wraith.

They all lecture Dick about it.

Slade just finds the whole thing amusing and debates on whether he can actually convince you to give up some of Grayson's secrets.

I just love the image of them casually hanging out in civvies with Batman questioning Dick's life decisions and what your has been influenced by his relationship with Catwoman while Deathstroke and Wintergreen are just quietly amused by the situation at some point they were worried about you discussing merc stuff but neither talk about current business unless it's safe to.

Wintergreen isn't particularly worried since Grayson is a good kid. Wintergreen once joked that you should convince him to join their side. You said that Dick didn't have the right personality to be a merc. The irony of this was completely lost on your.

You spending a ton of your hard earned mercenary money to win a stuffed toy that you think little Rose would want. Dick making fun of you for not getting it then he ends up spending too much money but he eventually gets it. You and Dick pass by a shop and you see the exact same stuffed toy in the shop window for a sixteenth of the fortune you spent at the arcade. Good news though, Rose still has the stuffed toy.

Both of you being petty at dance dance revolution.

When you rant to each other in less than private areas, you rapidly switch languages.

Unbeknownst to Slade, Dick actually knows a bunch of his safe houses and unbeknownst to Dick, those are Deathstroke's safe houses. You are technically not lying when you say it's yours.

You have a silent pact not to blow each other's covers unless they deem it completely necessary (when people's lives are at stake). The only person who knows this pact is Jason and they have bought his silence.

You will both go out of their way to help each other out of a bind.

Sometimes when Bruce and Alfred are out of town and the stars align to have you visiting for a job, you end up helping Dick babysit. Jason gets confused and defensive at first. You have dealt with distrustful youngins. Neither Rose nor Joey wanted anything to do with you at first. You, however, grew up wanting siblings so you tried your darndest to look after them and it is really fucking hard to not let this munchkin grown on you.

When you're old enough to hit the club they often go drinking together. You once tried to have you wingman for Dick. Using the ‘fantastic’ negotiating skills you got from mercenary work, you ended up getting the number for yourself. You once told Rose and Joey about it and both of them made lighthearted jokes about it.

Dick gets confronted by Slade at sword point and asks what his intentions are with his kid (He honestly isn't at all serious but he likes how scared Dick got because the man is terrifying.)

Dick also gets interrogated by Joey and Rose because, you know, this is their big sister.

You often insist on family dinners at least once every 2 weeks with your siblings, sometimes with their mom (Adeline is kind of not ok with you and Rose being present but is trying her best for Joey's sake), sometimes with their dad, occasionally with their uncle Wintergreen.

You usually just casually call Slade 'pops' and you drawls 'dad' when you’re pissed and 'papa' when you’re emotional. You try your damndest to only call him Slade or Deathstroke on the field but sometimes you slip up and calls him pops in the field

You have batnapped each batkid at least once. Batnapping meaning seeing a baby bat and throwing them over your shoulder when you’re pretty sure they’re going to get killed. This isn’t limited to kids. You still do this when they’re adults. The image of you throwing Dick over your shoulder when you two were tiny gives me life but you throwing Dick and/or Jason over your shoulder when they’re huge has me cackling.

You basically accidentally become a de facto big sister/ mom friend to the batkids purely through your friendship with Dick.

Images from this scenario I can’t get out of my head:

Stargazing

Teaching Dick how to cook. He just ends up going to your place for a meal though.

Running around during a rain storm huddled under a jacket with Dick because neither of you checked the weather

Casual affection you two share because you’re both tactile people. Casual affection as in just sitting on the couch in each other’s space, bumping shoulders to communicate, leaning on each other, hugging each other when greeting each other, and all that good stuff.

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Thanks for reading! I’m really sorry for the grammar and disorganization.

If you guys are interested in the more bickering dialogue heavy part 2 either comment here or send an ask or pm me. *shrugs* This is just really self indulgent on my part.

taglist:

@idkmanicantenglish

@birdy-bat-writes (I will stop tagging you when you run out of good ideas for me.)

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson #Deathstroke #parental #Slade Wilson #BatFam #batfamily headcanon #rant #my writing #merc!reader #batboys #batkids

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lunar-writings-love · 4 years

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College!AU - Hongjoong (ateez)

ahaha so i’m baaaack ;; super sorry for all the inactivity babes life has been weighing down on all of us i’m sure and i needed some time! This is the next installment of the college!au ateez series, and although i had planned to have hongjoong last, y’all requested him so much i wrote him next and changed the order around!

Author’s note: Bullet fic,

Warnings: like a drop of angst if u squint ?? the word sh!t appears one time i think

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hongjoong:

he’s so cute i’m Sad

ok so Joongie is just so loved, so treasured by everyone ,, every time he enters into a room everyone just 🥺

he’ll walk into a room looking all sleepy in overalls or something and literally everyone’s parental instincts awaken from the depths of college emotional indifference and suddenly ,,

there’s world peace it’s a sight to see

so, our Hongjoongie is actually a double major!!

he’s a world lit major, and he’s minoring in gender studies so his emphasis is on analyzing feminist texts

more often than not, the best way to find hongjoong is to just go to the library on the south side of campus at odd hours at night and you’ll usually find him buried underneath a pile of books ;; (and more often than not he’ll also be sleeping because baby can’t stay awake to save his life ://)

But he really does love his major ,, and If u let him , he’ll rave hours and hours about literature; analyzing them through historical context, societal reflection, the role of women, writing style.....

....he just loves what he does and it makes everyone around him love him for it too!!

He always has extensive talks with Yeosang (an english major who took a lot of lit classes with hongjoong hint go read the yeosang!au) on american 19th century feminist writings

they started their own book club and it’s literally just them two, no other members allowed, and all they do is eat finger sandwiches and shit on misogynistic men we sTAN

HoWEVer, although hongjoong’s work in literature is impressive and respected, he’s probably better known for his second major:

music composition!

music is the love of his life ,,, no buts there’s nothing he’ll love more than his art (except maybe you aha ha ha ;)

and people knew him around campus becaaaauseeeeee ,,,,, he would usually ,,, dj at frat parties...

it wasn’t something he particularly liked, but hey money is money.

in all seriousness though, when hongjoong wasn’t reading or writing papers, he was glued to his mac producing tracks and writing lyrics

the only thing was ,,, he didn’t actually sing any of what he wrote

he never thought his own voice suited his songs, and would much rather sit on the sidelines moving along the creative direction

and although the boys usually are the ones to sing his demos,, joongie always felt like something was still ,,, missing

this is where u come in wink wonk

you’re just a lowly econ major who surprisingly !! doesn’t !! want !! to start your own fortune 500 company :DD !! wow so rare :)

anYWaYS,, you’re just doing it cuz your parents pressured you into pursuing a career with stable job opportunities and you’re kinda good at math and graphs soooo

....why not

but to be honest, you always felt trapped

you were never able to stop that feeling of impending doom when you’d open your macro-econ textbooks ,,,

or how your heart hurt when you think about the fact that your life is headed straight to an incredibly mundane future :

a desk job, an overpriced apartment that barely has enough room for you, living in constant air pollution from the city’s high carbon emissions, never finding true love, dying alone with 50 cats, taxes...you get the drift

you usually pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, negativity isn’t productive and right now you had a world economics midterm to study for

but..

not that you’d ever admit it, your true passion had always been music

you weren’t the best composer, you knew just enough piano to get you but; but you had a set of PIPES dAmN

your friends could usually find you at the dorm’s music rooms ,, and whenever you felt stress or needed to unwind, you’d usually head over to those rooms

now ,,, these rooms are soundproof // but the trick is you actually have to close the door cuz if u don’t......

everyone can hear you

and by everyone I mean the entire floor

you were doing your usual thing at the music room one night when one of your friends came in to let you know everyone would be heading over to dinner soon,, u promised only one more song before meeting them upstairs on your dorm floor

hoWEVeR, U DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WHEN YOUR FRIEND WALKED AWAY THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN

and soo ,, when u started singing again //// everyone heard

and by everyone i mean ???!?

hongjoong :))

and it was love at first sight ,,, or rather

,, love at first listen??

he won’t ponder over the semantics, all Hongjoong knew was that he had been looking for a voice like yours and needed you on his tracks

this man barged into the room and begged you to lend your voice for his songs

...on his knees :00

you were in shock like what were you supposed to do?

this random man stormed in and got on his knees ,,

what was next ??

marriage ????

u didn’t really say anything for a while just kinda looked him in his eyes

but then your uwu instincts kicked in--u don’t know what it is about this dude but u just wanna like give him candy or something

and so you hesitantly asked for his name

and that’s when hongjoong realized he was an IDIOT

because not only was your voice heavenly, but of course you were cute too and he just presented himself like a complete and utter maniac and He Didn’T eVEN bOTHER To TelL You hIS NAme!

he wanted the ground to swallow him up but alas

he got off his knees and shyly stuck out his hand and told you his name

you looked at him once again ,, and surprisingly

you took his hand with a small smile on your face

you ended up totally forgetting about dinner with your friends at the dining hall

because hongjoong sat beside you on the piano bench and showed you his songs and lyrics, and you....fell in love <3

you’d never connected with anyone on this type of emotional level before and it was almost sort of overwhelming

it also kinda gave you hope too ,, because here was Hongjoong ,, someone who managed to get the best of both worlds : a music and a lit degree

and you thought that maybe ,, you could do something with music too

you guys exchanged numbers and scheduled to meet at the university’s recording studio that weekend

Hongjoong composed a track and you added your own lyrics with his help--after two weeks of mixing, mastering, producing, and recording ,,, you guys officially released a single!!

you really weren’t expecting it, but hongjoong was a bit of a social butterfly and so the song became a hit on campus

people were uploading it to their social media, sharing it with friends, playing it while they worked out, it was kinda ridiculous to you

the student paper even wrote an article about it (and later you found out that the journalist was one of hongjoong’s friend’s girlfriend ,, (hint go read the yunho!au)

And when the song reached 10,000 streams, that gave you the confidence to do what you had always wanted to do

you called your parents up on a Saturday morning to tell them you were picking up a vocal performance major

you were extremely anxious for this conversation, so Hongjoong decided to stay by your side for moral support

As both of you waited with baited breath for your parents’ response, Hongjoong was also right there just ,, holding your hand so sweetly,, and that was driving YOU INSANE

(because in these past couple of months you had gotten to know Hongjoong you had mostly definitely, absolutely, completely fallen head over heels for him)

after a long moment of silence, your parents agreed

they weren’t too happy about it, but they also weren’t as against it as you thought they’d be--the only condition was that you’d continue with econ and instead double major

it would honestly be hard considering the amount of mandatory classes and performances required of the vocal performance major, but you were too happy to care

after your goodbyes with your parents, you looked over to Hongjoong with the biggest smile on your face

and it just,, absolutely melted his heart

before he could stop himself he just wrapped his arms around you and twirled you around

and then :) he gave you the softest kiss on your cheek

of course, after it dawned on him what he had done, he instantly turned red and started chucking nervously as he stuttered his words

but for you, the newfound confidence and ADRENALINE after your successful phone call with your parents, you grabbed both sides of his face and asked him if you could kiss him

Hongjoong was wide-eyed but LIKE HELL he would pass up this up

so after muttering out a shy yes, y’all kissed awwww :))

and after that, you guys became a couple!

you’d show up to the frat parties he would DJ at and would always dance like an idiot with wooyoung in the corner of the room

and you and hongjoong would always partner up for music composition and performance projects: Hongjoong would write the tracks and you’d sing for them

you guys were honestly such a soft couple

you also picked up the habit of studying sleeping at the library with hongjoong because double majoring was hard and it required a lot of work

and it just, now became a thing for people to always find you along with Hongjoong sleeping under a pile of books

you guys kept on releasing more singles after that, and are currently working on an EP!

and honestly, you were so incredibly happy

you had the most amazing boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion

and you felt just a little bit better knowing that your future was unclear

you no longer pictured yourself at a desk job, living out an absolutely dreadful life

instead, you finally realized the multitude of opportunities at your disposal

and with Hongjoong by your side, you just knew everything in life would work out in the end!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

Love you guys! Stay safe and healthy!!

- Luna

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villainscomplex · 3 years

Text

this, at least.

hey so anyway yall know how there was that big boom of angsty ship fics right

,,,,,i wanted to write one too and I have no other excuse

!!! MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH !!!

Also on:

AO3

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FFNet

Quotev

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In his dreams, Asahi dies slowly.

His body is a mass of static and there is nothing but pain and pain and more pain. He’s vaguely aware of someone, somewhere, calling his name. Asahi, they’re saying, Asahi, please wake up.

And he does.

Asahi jerks awake violently, legs tangled in his blankets and hair plastered to the back of his neck, cold with sweat. He still feels like there’s — what? He doesn’t know the source of the pain, only that it is sheer pain, radiating through the core of his very being. It’d be easy to think it’s something simple, a bullet wound or head trauma, but the way it nestles into his chest and takes root there begs to differ.

In his dreams — nightmares, they prefer — Asahi is made of fear and desperation, of please, no, and the unnerving feeling that he’s forgetting something. There’s always someone with him, always whispering his name, fingers cold on his face.

It’s always the same scene.

He steps into a doorway and panic swells in his chest, but he’s never sure what triggers it. There’s nothing in the room but darkness, and then his feet come out from under him, and he is falling. The ground is far, and he falls forever and ever, until time stops short. He crashes into it in one graceless dive, shatters apart, and reforms at the seams with the sweet familiarity of agony.

He’s sure, with every fiber of his being, that something is missing. He doesn’t know what, or who, only that it is missing and the absence feels like a hole in his chest, a hollow place where the pain doesn’t reach.

Asahi leans forward in his bed, struggling to catch his breath. His hair falls like a curtain around his face. He can’t remember why he keeps it long, only that the idea of cutting it feels wrong, and so he lets it grow.

Suddenly, his bed feels unappealing and cold, and he staggers out of it into the quiet of his apartment.

If his life was a story, the narrator would say something like this — Azumane Asahi is a twenty-six year old man with severe amnesia and a wedding ring on a necklace, to which he doesn’t know the location of the missing pair. And that’s it, they’d say, just a detective with no memory and a lot of anxiety. He doesn’t think he’s important enough of a character to warrant any sort of life story.

His phone is where he left it when he’d arrived home the night prior, tossed onto his side table in a fit of weariness. The screen blinks dimly back at him, still miraculously alive, but only with about six percent to spare and at least three new messages to speak of. They’re all from one of the few people he actually texts, and even without looking at the contact name, Suga’s typing style is distinctive from Daichi or Shimizu’s.

He checks the time in the corner of his screen. It’s nearly five-thirty in the morning, which isn’t a bad time, but it’s still earlier than he normally gets up. Going back to sleep is about the most unappealing thing he can think of right now, so even if he isn’t a morning person, he plugs his phone up, clicks on the shabby TV, and goes to make a pot of coffee, listening to the steady drone of the early weather report.

The ring around his neck is a cold weight against his bare skin, small and heavy against the hollow where his throat meets his clavicle. It rolls and clinks softly against its chain as he moves, a quiet, ever-present reminder of a past he doesn’t remember.

It’s easy to make assumptions. He doesn’t know who has the pair to this ring, only that it feels too important to get rid of, so he keeps it around his neck. For all he knows, he was married once. Someone else had — maybe still has — the pair to this ring. He doesn’t remember being married or who his partner is, but he’s sure they must exist.

Maybe they’d left because he’d forgotten.

Asahi tucks the assumption away before his anxiety can take it and run. He’s got a life now and he can’t go ruining what he has by overthinking whatever he used to have. Lacking the vast majority of his memories hadn’t stopped him from rebuilding his life these past few months, bit by bit.

It’s only been a few months since the accident and even though he doesn’t remember it personally, that’s all everyone keeps referring to it as. The accident, like he’d gone and suffered a massive memory loss by total coincidence.

Asahi kind of hates it. He tries not to think too hard about it.

In hindsight, it hadn’t been an easy recovery. He supposes nobody ever really thinks about what would happen if they lost a chunk of their adult memories and nobody would tell them why. He’d had friends to support him through it, even if he had taken a while to remember the three of them, and because of their support he’d been able to get back on his feet.

He’s still a rookie at this detective work, but sitting down and poring over the facts and figures of the cases he’s investigating is oddly comforting.

Light peeks out from over the horizon as the morning settles in, blanketing the world outside and the living room within in a sheet of pale light. Asahi’s eyes ache from his lack of sleep. The bags beneath them have gotten worse, and he’s sure he’ll inevitably get scolded about them when he sees his friends again.

By the time Asahi arrives at his workplace, the city around him has come to life. It’s never quiet here by any means, but once the sun is up, it seems everyone takes to the streets at once. He leaves early to avoid the rush, but always inevitably catches the start of it and makes it just in time, stumbling into the doorway of the detective agency’s office.

“Hey, Azumane,” the receptionist greets with an easy smile, leaning over the desk to be seen, “just in time. Still relearning the trains?” Asahi isn’t too familiar with Narita, but the man is calm and rarely bothered by high stress situations, and he appreciates the cool head and easy attitude first thing in the morning. He’d been one of the first to make sure Asahi had felt welcomed here, and Asahi is eternally grateful for it.

“Yeah,” he rubs the back of his neck, averting his eyes, “it’s a lot to get used to all over again. I keep hoping I’ll just jog my memory somehow and miraculously remember.”

Narita laughs. “I’m sure it’s somewhere in that head of yours.”

Asahi doesn’t stick around to chat much longer, heading up to the main office. There’s only two others inside, both at their desks doing very different things. Akaashi, ever studious, is hunched over a case file from a recent completion of his, scribbling away. Kozume, on the other hand, their resident cyber specialist, reclines back in his chair, tapping away at his phone and looking like he’s half asleep. “Azumane,” Kozume yawns, “there’s some files on your desk.” There are in fact — Asahi turns to confirm — files on his desk.

There’s also a boy there.

His back is to Asahi, but he can see the slicked black hair, wild and dark, sharp against the evident paleness of the boy’s skin. The boy visibly straightens when Asahi turns to look, whipping around in his chair.

Okay, no, a man. A grown man.

Asahi feels a little like deer in headlights, caught in the sharp stare of the man’s golden eyes, interrupted only by the equal shock of bleached blond hair in the forefront of his bangs. Asahi feels pinned in place by that unblinking stare, and it takes him a moment to remember to move.

He circles to his desk a little hesitantly, starkly aware of the other man’s stare following him the entire way around. It’s still on him when Asahi seats himself on the opposite side of the desk, and Asahi steels himself to meet it, smiling nervously.

“Hello,” he greets, “I’m Azumane. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting any clients today.” “I’m Noya!” The man declares, gives no further context, and slaps a file down in front of Asahi. “I need you to look into this.”

The words CASE CLOSED stands out in stark red lettering on the front. Asahi resists the urge to frown. It isn’t uncommon for them to receive requests to look into closed cases, but generally speaking, they’re a waste of money and time.

“Listen,” he starts hesitantly, “honestly, I’m still very new at this. Could I recommend you to one of our more experienced investigators?”

Noya shakes his head adamantly, looking appalled at the mere suggestion. “No!” He says, loud enough that Asahi flinches. “This is important to me! You have to do it!”

“I-”

Noya stares at him, lips turned down, eyes wide in a silent plea. Asahi takes the file.

There’s no photo inside, but it's very clearly labeled as involuntary manslaughter. The victim had only been twenty-five, but the details are absolutely minimal. There really won’t be a lot he can do with this, even if he does accept it. He’s sure the case is closed for a reason.

“Look,” he starts, raising his eyes.

Noya is gone.

Asahi leaps out of his seat, file in hand. Noya had just been there. He’s not surprised the man is fast, but Asahi hadn’t even accepted the case yet, and Noya hadn’t even stuck around to answer questions. Asahi races out of the office and into the entry lobby, head swinging from side to side in search of the shorter man.

“Narita,” he asks, leaning over the side of the receptionist’s counter, “did you see where that man went?”

Narita frowns at him. “What man? I haven’t seen anyone pass by.”

“I-” Asahi sighs, dragging his fingers through his hair hard enough to yank it out of his half bun and just resigns himself, tucking the file under his arm. “Nevermind. Thanks anyway.” Narita gives him another odd look as he turns away, returning to the main office. When he enters, Akaashi and Kozume both glance up strangely, matching the look Narita had previously given him, but Kozume loses interest much quicker than he’s gained it, as if this is a perfectly normal, everyday incident. Akaashi’s gaze tracks him all the way back to his desk, and only then does it fall away, leaving Asahi to his own devices. For a long time, Asahi just stares at the file. Case closed stares back at him, bold and red and final.

It isn’t to say that it’s quite uncommon for them to get a closed case to investigate. Generally speaking, it’s recommended to avoid closed cases. More often than not, they lead to dead ends and more broken hearts than when they began. The police may not investigate as much as private detectives, but they weren’t always wrong by any means. But Noya hadn’t given him too much of a choice in the matter, so against his better judgment, Asahi opens the file.

It’s almost pathetically small, three pages at most. There’s no photos, but from what Asahi can gather, it’s a twenty-five year old man who fell victim to an armed robbery incident, whose death was ultimately ruled involuntary manslaughter as a result. The culprit had never been caught, but the man’s partner had suffered some sort of collateral damage. There’s no further information on any of the three; the partner is unnamed and there are no photos of the man or the partner.

There’s nothing here that points to the case being anything other than what the file says, much less any sort of connection. He considers, briefly, that maybe Noya is the partner and wants the man brought to justice, but he doesn’t have any confirmation to this theory. It just seems like a home robbery turned homicide.

It’s essentially a dead end. There’s no address to begin the investigation and no family on the file to contact in regards. If Noya is the partner, Asahi could start there, but if he’d suffered some sort of trauma related to the incident, then Asahi has to take his testimony with a grain of salt. And this is all based on assumption — he doesn’t even know the extent of Noya’s personal involvement with this entire situation.

Noya hadn’t left him any contact details.

The thought strikes him abruptly, and Asahi sighs. This isn’t going to go anywhere without Noya’s cooperation. Asahi hadn’t agreed to investigate it in the first place. Resigned, he closes the file again and slides it underneath a few others on his desk, where it’s quickly forgotten in the wake of the rest of his work.

When he leaves that evening, files tucked away in his bag, the sun hangs low over the horizon, lethargic orange rays reclined across the darkening sky. It’s as beautiful as it is ominous, and Asahi ducks his head to avoid wandering eyes as he hurries to the train station, long coat swishing behind him.

The temperature sinks as it grows late, and despite his scarf, Asahi’s face burns with chill by the time he gets to the stairs leading down into the train station. People swarm around him, talking and huddling, faces as red as his own and stark with the relief of getting somewhere decently warmer.

Close enough to the rails to actually get on the train, but not close enough to get trampled by those trying to get good seating, Asahi tucks his chin into his scarf and takes a steadying breath.

He wonders if he was always an anxious person like this; had too much noise always been overwhelming to him? Had he ever walked with his head up, unconcerned about the opinions of those around him? Was this ever present bundle of nerves set deep in the square of his chest just a side effect of a tragic accident that nobody will tell him about?

He slides his thumb over the crest of the wedding ring on his necklace, a motion that feels like nothing but pure instinct, and then nearly yanks it clean off his neck when a hand grips his elbow, hard, and he flinches.

Asahi looks down.

Staring back up at him indignantly, lips fixed into a frown and golden eyes wide, looking as if he’s entirely unbothered by the cold despite being in nothing but a t-shirt and basketball shorts, is Noya.

“Azumane-san!”

Asahi is unbelievably shaken right now. After all, the odds that Noya would show up at the same train station as him were slim, even for this side of the city, but here he is, grip hard on Asahi’s elbow. If Asahi had gears in his head, they’d be stalling right now, and the little embodiment of his consciousness would be trying to restart it to no avail.

When the wires finally reconnect, Asahi gasps. “Why don’t you have a jacket?”

The words come out more demanding than he intended, but it’s too late to apologize, so instead, Asahi strips off his overcoat, and then the coat beneath it. Goosebumps prickle over the nape of his neck where it’s exposed to the cold, and he hurriedly yanks the long coat back on, handing the other off to Noya. Noya, who has since let go, looks a little surprised as he accepts it.

“I’m fine!” Noya huffs, but he pulls the jacket on regardless.

The sleeves slip past his fingertips, effectively dwarfing him. Asahi thinks it would be rather comical if he wasn’t so upset at this precise moment, but even swallowed up by Asahi’s undercoat, Noya feels like a force to be reckoned with, a storm lying in wait.

Asahi can’t put his finger on it, but Noya’s brash personality seems familiar, somehow. Mentally, he goes through his limited list of friends. Sugawara fits the bill closest, but even his chaos is of a different sort.

The train whistle breaks him out of his thoughts. He spots the lights as it barrels down the tunnel.

“Have you solved the case yet?” Noya asks, gaze still fixed on Asahi, unwavering.

Asahi frowns at him. “Listen,” he begins, turning his gaze back to Noya.

His words die in his throat. Noya stares back at him, eyes glittering in the faint light of the underground station, wild hair stirred around his face by the gust of cold air the train brings with it. The doors hiss open, but Asahi doesn’t move to get on yet. People stream by them on their way on or off the platform.

He can’t say no. He doesn’t know what it is, but Asahi is suddenly resigned to seeing this through. Noya’s eyes are intense and focused, hard with determination and a type of fire that Asahi can’t remember ever seeing before. He can’t say no.

“I haven’t,” he says, “but I’m going to investigate it as best I can.”

Noya’s grin makes him think that perhaps this is the right decision after all.

The train whistles again. Asahi starts, whirling back around to the platform. Oh no, the train’s going to leave.

“Are you-” He begins, glancing back to Noya, intending to ask if he’s getting on the same train.

Noya is gone. Asahi stares incredulously at the spot where the man had been, dwarfed in Asahi’s coat. He turns, glancing a full circle around himself, trying to spot that shock of blond in the crowd, but no, Noya is gone.

Maybe he got on the train.

Asahi follows suit, tucking his overcoat a little tighter around him as the doors slide shut. The people on the platform all blur together in a mass of color as the train pulls away, but Asahi swears he catches the piercing stare of golden eyes. It’s gone before he can think too hard about it, and Asahi spends the train ride and subsequent walk home staring into space. He hadn’t gotten Noya’s contact info.

“I’m home,” he says to no one as he opens his door and steps in, taking his shoes off.

Maybe he should get a dog.

Sighing heavily, Asahi drops his bag onto the floor by the door, where it tips to the side and lets a few papers and files slide halfway out. He pays it little mind, figuring he can think about it later, and makes his way down the narrow corridor into the bedroom at the back.

It’s sheer muscle memory that gets him through his nightly routine, and by the time he lets his hair down and flops into bed, he’s too exhausted to think. The somber tendrils of heavy sleep drag him deep into the sheets.

He dreams. (He has nightmares.)

Wake up, wake up, wake up, the voice is saying. Asahi, please wake up. Please don’t leave me. Please, no. Please, no.

This time, when Asahi jerks awake, the sun is still low below the horizon and his phone reads 4:36 A.M, but there’s no chance of him going back to sleep so he dons a hoodie and decides to do something with himself. In the end, Asahi goes for a run. It’s been a while since he’s just gone out like this, so he takes the short route that loops through the backside of a local park. Asahi jogs what he can, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t nearly as in shape as he clearly had been once. He can tell he used to be muscular and healthy prior to the accident, but he’s hardly been focused on maintaining that post memory loss. Still, running feels natural, so he tries to keep it up.

He runs into Noya again. Asahi rounds the bend, huffs of breath forming white clouds in the chilly morning air. There’s only a handful of other souls up and about this early, and from what Asahi can tell, they’re all out running too. It’s a nice change of pace to get his mind off of everything, but it’s clear the universe has other plans. As he nears the park’s massive lake, he spots a figure sitting right at the bank of it, leaning precariously over the water.

Even from this distance and without his glasses, he recognizes Noya’s wild hair paired with the white t-shirt and black shorts combo. Noya’s back is to him, but he visibly straightens as the sound of Asahi’s footsteps approach, head twisting around to fix those ever startling eyes on the taller man. “Azumane,” his eyebrows pinch, “what are you doing here?” There’s this nagging feeling in his chest. It strikes him as odd again; something about Noya is so unnervingly familiar to him, but he can’t put his finger on it. He’s sure if they had known each other prior to his memory loss then someone as headstrong as Noya seems to be would have said something about it by now, but Noya doesn’t seem bothered like Asahi is. He shakes it off.

Something seems off. Noya is quieter, more pensive. His gaze has returned to the surface of the lake immediately after confirming that he knows the person approaching him. It’s a strange change from the loud, fierce boy Asahi has started to know him as. “Noya,” he greets softly, joining him carefully by the water. “I was out for a run. Are you okay? Aren’t you cold?” “Oh,” Noya seems to remember something, “I forgot your jacket. Sorry.” Asahi shakes his head. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known I was going to come running. It isn’t like I’ve done this in a while.” Noya is staring at him again, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. He’s frowning — it’s only a faint, downward quirk of the lips, but it seems so out of place on Noya’s features that it catches Asahi off guard. A matching frown slips onto his face.

“Have you made any progress?” Noya asks suddenly, peering up at Asahi intently. “With the case, I mean.” “Noya, it’s only been a night,” Asahi reminds him gently. “I’ll look into it more later, but nothing’s changed from when you asked me yesterday.” “Yesterday?” Noya echoes, as if confused. “Oh… Right. When you gave me the jacket. Okay.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Asahi persists. “I’m fine! Listen, I’ve gotta go, ‘kay? I’ll catch you again sometime soon.” Noya takes off before Asahi can so much as consider asking about contact information. At this rate, he’s going to be stuck only contacting Noya whenever they happen to run into each other in town. Belatedly, near the tail end of his run, he realizes that Noya must live nearby, to have been at the park.

So why had he been all the way across town yesterday? Asahi glances back, as if the answer will appear behind him. The cold wind replies, whispering through the bare branches of the trees. He just can’t shake the feeling that something is too familiar about Noya to forget. Maybe it’s just the man’s strange tendencies or the way he seems so desperate for the case to be solved as soon as possible, but Asahi just can’t get rid of this feeling. He doesn’t know what it is yet, only that it feels too important to completely dismiss a third time.

So this time, he tucks it away in the back of his mind for safekeeping.

⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤

“Oi, Azumane,” Kozume leans around his laptop, “what was that new file you got? An investigation?”

Asahi starts at the sound of his voice. After the two loudest members of their agency had gone off on lunch, the room had finally become quiet enough for Asahi to focus on his research. His desk is in clutters, public records scattered across the surface, laptop balanced precariously on the corner and held in place only by half of a large, opened book. Asahi is in the middle of rereading the case file when Kozume speaks up. He's so focused that, in his surprise, he nearly takes out his laptop himself. Kozume just lifts one disinterested brow, strands of dark hair slipping back into their usual place over his face. “Uh,” Asahi begins, eloquently, “something like that. Client wants me to look into a closed case. I think he’s probably got some pretty personal roots in it, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him it isn’t a good idea to reopen old wounds.” “You’re too nice, Azumane-san.” Akaashi remarks from his desk without looking up. “Sometimes, it’s best to put a stop to it before it can start.” “Then again,” Kozume muses, “I guess we are getting paid for this, huh?”

They lapse into a mutual silence again.

Asahi feels like there are still eyes on him, but Akaashi is still looking at the paperwork on his desk and Kozume has returned to his laptop screen. The rest of the employees aren’t here, and Narita is presumably still at the front desk. With a faint frown, Asahi shakes the feeling away and returns his attention to the files.

His information is severely limited. That’s the biggest issue. If there had been an address on the file he could have started his investigation there, but Noya would be the easier source. The only issue with that is that Asahi still hasn’t gotten Noya’s contact information to ask him about it. That being said, he’s not even sure if Noya actually knows anything or if this just happens to be a personal investment of his. Asahi isn’t in the habit of prying about people’s personal connections to a case. As long as he can get their information and go on about his business, he’s content, but Noya is so forthright and intense that Asahi can’t help but be curious.

It bothers him, but he doesn’t know why.

“Oh,” says Kozume, voice breaking into Asahi’s thought process abruptly again, “another robbery. I wonder if it’s a chain?”

When Asahi looks back up, Kozume is still looking at his laptop, but now he’s leaning closer to the screen, visibly reading something. He turns away and wheels his swivel chair over to the side table by the door to retrieve the remote.

“Last I heard, there wasn’t any correlation between the places that were being hit.” Akaashi replies, gaze lifting from his papers. “They’re thinking it’s separate cases, but who knows. The police don’t read too into situations if the evidence is obvious.” “Lazy asses,” Kozume scoffs, clicking through channels on the overhead TV.

“Robberies?” Asahi speaks up, confused.

He hasn’t been actively keeping up with the news outside of early weather reports recently, a little more concerned with his own issues and his work. It’s more than enough to balance work and the whole memory loss thing, and while he definitely should be better about keeping up with the rest of the world, it hasn’t been his main concern as of late.

Kozume settles on a news channel. The news anchor is in the middle of reporting on the subject at hand — another local robbery. It’s the third in the past two weeks, but there’s no evidence to connect it to the other two. This one had targeted a tiny, one bedroom home on the city outskirts. Asahi frowns at the news coverage. He doesn’t understand why anyone would target a place where there was unlikely to be anything to be gained, but he feels bad for the homeowner. The newscast says they came out undamaged since they weren’t home at the time, but nonetheless, he understands the feeling of having your life uprooted suddenly.

Asahi shakes his head and returns his attention to the files before him, scribbling notes down on things to look into further and potential leads. He’ll have to remember to find Noya again and get his contact information this time. Noya is the best lead he has at this point, and hopefully he can get something out of the other man to get him somewhere in this seemingly dead end case.

In the background, the television drones on.

When evening gives way to the end of his work day, Asahi finds himself searching the rush hour crowd for the tuft of electric blond that he’s becoming so familiar with. He can’t figure out why he’s trying to find Noya here; after all, he’d come to the conclusion that he lives on the other side of town, so he doubts he’ll see him here. On the other hand, it’s possible Noya works over here too. It’d be a strange coincidence for him to be in the same working and living situation as Asahi himself, but it’d make sense as to why Noya had come to their agency in particular. It's possible that it's also the opposite way around, with Noya living here and working on the other side of town. All of the facts Asahi knows check out with one of those theories; it’d explain why Noya was at the train station, too.

But by the time he gets to the station, he hasn’t spotted Noya anywhere. Even amongst the people waiting on the platform, he can’t see the wild, dark hair, and there’s a pang of disappointment in his chest. He tries to ignore it, but it’s a persistent feeling, and more surprisingly, one that doesn’t feel new. He can’t imagine forgetting someone like Noya, but he’d forgotten someone like Suga already, so his memory loss isn’t discriminating.

The train whistles a warning. Asahi startles, hurrying on instinctively. He hadn’t even realized the train had pulled up. He looks for Noya one more time, but upon confirming that the other man is nowhere to be seen, averts his gaze to his feet. The train doors hiss shut around him, before it lurches into motion, pulling away from the platform.

It’s strange, he thinks, how lonely the platform looks disappearing behind them.

When the train comes to a hissing stop at his destination platform, Asahi’s phone begins to vibrate aggressively against his thigh. He waits until he’s clear of all the people to check it, unlocking the screen to several tests and a missed call from Suga. Just as he’s going to check the texts, Suga’s name lights up his screen again. Asahi nearly drops his phone in his haste to answer the call.

“Asahi!” Sugawara practically yells. “Have you been keeping up with the news?”

Asahi slowly brings the phone back to his ear as he walks, having held it away in his haste to avoid having his eardrums blown out.

“The news?” He echoes. “Like the robberies?”

“Yeah! Apparently, there was another one! I guess the person tried to fight back and get this - they ended up in the hospital with multiple gunshot wounds.”

Asahi grimaces. If all of these robberies are connected, then it could be a problem. Generally speaking, most robbers would flee if they were caught or met with resistance, but if this one had no qualms with hurting people, it could get dirty. Asahi is hoping they aren’t connected, but it’s starting to look doubtful. He’ll have to catch up on the situation when he gets home.

“That’s-”

Asahi cut off, turning his head to follow the abrupt streak of color that had caught his eye. He’s a few blocks from his apartment, at best, but now he turns around entirely, gaze searching. He spots it again just in time to watch it vanish through the door of a tiny coffee shop. Asahi hesitates.

“Asahi?” Sugawara calls from his phone. “Hellooo? Earth to Asahi! What happened?” “S-Sorry, Suga,” Asahi says quickly, feet already guiding him towards the building, “I have to go. I’ll call you back later, okay?”

“Huh? Hold on, wh-”

The line goes dead as Asahi jabs the end call button, shoving his phone unceremoniously back into his pocket as he enters the cafe. The bell chimes gently overhead as he pushes the door open, and someone at the front calls out a greeting that he only half hears. He’s busy thinking about how Suga will be upset with him later for hanging up so abruptly; he’s thinking that maybe he should feel a little worse about that than he does, and it has him wondering if he’s less of a friend for it. He’s busy thinking about how he’s sure to get an earful later, but his body is moving across the cafe, toward a booth in the corner where he can see the backside of dark, wild hair, and the small flick of a tag sticking up from the inside of a white t-shirt.

The man in the booth lifts his head when Asahi rounds the table, piercing gaze fixing onto the detective. It’s as if he comes back to earth all at once, awareness lighting his eyes and his expression picking up in something vaguely resembling surprise. “Asahi!” He half yells, slamming his palms into the table and standing in one motion.

Asahi flinches at the abrupt shout and one of the employees glances their way. Ducking his head bashfully, Asahi makes himself as small as possible as he slides into the booth across from Noya, reaching out to gesture Noya back into his own seat. Preferably, he thinks, as quietly as possible.

Luckily, Noya drops unceremoniously back into his seat, staring intensely at Asahi.

“What are you doing here?” He demands.

“I…” Asahi grimaces, knowing how strange this is going to sound, “I saw you coming in. You never gave me any sort of contact, so I haven’t been able to reach you for anything regarding the case.”

Noya visibly straightens. “Have you figured out something new?”

“Well, not exactly, but-”

“Oh,” Noya continues, cutting him off, “I don’t have a phone.”

Well, that certainly threw a wrench in things, didn’t it? It’s just Asahi’s luck, he supposes. Still, he’s got to figure out some way to keep up contact with Noya, since he’s Asahi’s only sure link to the case.

His phone buzzes incessantly in his pocket.

“Okay, then take mine,” Asahi grabs a napkin from the table, fishing a pen from the front breast pocket of his jacket. “And if you can, just let me know if you come across anything new. Can we meet again sometime here to sit down and talk? Like Friday?” Noya takes the napkin and with surprising tenderness, folds it, and tucks it into the pocket of his black basketball shorts. He’s staring at Asahi still, but Asahi can’t tell what he’s thinking about.

“Okay,” Noya says, “Friday.”

And there it is again; Asahi meets his gaze and he feels like he’s missing something, like there’s a piece here that he should be aware of. He can’t shake it, that feeling that he just knows Noya from somewhere, from before all this.

“Noya,” he breathes, “have we met before? Before you came in with the case?”

Noya scrutinizes him for a long moment, almost unresponsive, as if the question hadn’t even registered to him. There’s something off about the entire moment, the motionless state of someone who feels like he should always be moving. Slowly, his lips pinch into a frown, just a little downward tilt that looks so off on his features. His expression darkens, hooded over like a shadow fell across him.

He looks unsure. He looks scared.

It’s only for a moment, so quick that Asahi is sure it must have been his imagination because then Noya is laughing, loud and rambunctious and more like the one that seems familiar to Asahi.

“No way!” He decides. “You must be imagining things, Azumane-san! There’s no way you’d forget someone as cool as me!”

Asahi feels like his veins have frozen over. He’s cold down to the bone.

“Of course,” he agrees, smiling shakily, “that’s true.”

There’s a seed of doubt rooting itself in his chest, and Asahi is too scared to try to figure out the root of it.

He stands again, bidding Noya a good night, and hurries out the door before the other man gets another word in edgewise, but he feels Noya’s gaze follow him out the door. His phone vibrates in his pocket again, and he takes it out, preparing himself for the earful he’s going to get.

Something is reassuring about Suga’s ranting on the other end. It gets him home.

When he looks over the case again that night, he writes details about the recent robberies down on a notebook next to it. He gathers what he can from the news and more from the internet. Tomorrow, he’ll get more info on it from Kozume, and Friday, he’ll get what he can from Noya. He doesn’t know yet if he’s making progress here, but he’s hoping for the best.

At this point, it’s all he can do.

It isn’t until he’s getting ready for bed, braiding his hair back out of his face, that the thought strikes him. He’s thinking about the tiny coffee shop, about the bell over the door, about the way Noya had called him Asahi. He has the distinctive memory of introducing himself only as Azumane.

So where had Noya gotten his given name?

⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤

“You look different,” Noya remarks.

Asahi feels like he’s having deja vu. He hardly knows where the week has gone, and now he’s back at the tiny coffee shop with Noya. They’re seated in the same booth as before. Noya’s shirt tag is sticking out. Asahi has his hair loose.

“It’s the hair,” they say, in sync, and Noya grins when Asahi cracks a smile.

“Finally!” He laughs. “I was starting to think you couldn’t smile properly! You’re so nervous all the time that I was starting to wonder how you’d ended up in this line of work.”

Asahi tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “Well, I’m sure it probably wasn’t my dream career, but I don’t remember enough about my old life to know how true that is. I guess it seems like a pretty unpredictable career, but it’s routine enough to be comforting.”

Noya frowns at him. “Whaddya mean you don’t remember?” Asahi winces. Outside of the fact that nobody else wants to discuss the accident, Asahi tries not to talk about it too much. Trying to remember gives him an intense migraine, and he hates the pitying looks he gets from it. He hates feeling helpless, and there’s this part of him that wouldn’t be able to handle it if Noya looked at him like that.

“I had an accident a while back,” Asahi replies vaguely, waving one hand dismissively, “nothing important.”

Noya’s watching him like he doesn’t believe him. Asahi avoids his gaze; he has the distinct feeling that Noya will see right through him otherwise.

“Okay,” Noya finally says, “then what about that necklace you’re always playing with? The ring. Are you married or something?”

Asahi doesn’t even realize he’s messing with it until Noya points it out. He’s busted, caught like a deer in headlights under Noya’s drilling questions. His words die in his throat, lips parted but nothing coming out.

I don’t know, he thinks, clenching his fist around the ring. He shoves it back into his shirt and grips the edge of the table, focusing on keeping his hands there. “No,” he manages, smile tight again, “but it doesn’t matter. We’re here to talk about the case, remember?”

Noya’s gaze flicks down, but he doesn’t push it.

“Right.”

Noya talks. It’s not all connected, more stream of thought and dropping details as they come to him, but Asahi listens. He takes notes, putting things that he knows already on one page and things he’s hearing for the first time on another. Some of Noya’s tales have nothing to do with the case, but Asahi lets them slide, and then he realizes that Noya hasn’t been talking about the case for a while.

But here’s Asahi, pen down and still listening. There’s something about Noya’s energy that’s so easy to get wrapped up in, and Asahi hadn’t even realized he was in it until it was too late. Maybe it’s the way Noya feels familiar to him, like second nature, or the way he’s sure he must know Noya from before, but the sensation is contagious, quick like electricity and quiet like a thief.

“Azumane-san?”

Noya’s voice breaks into his thoughts again. Asahi starts, focusing back on the task at hand. He doesn’t know when he’d stopped writing, or when the case discussion had ended and the casual talk had begun, but he does realize, belatedly, that they never got their coffee. The baristas bring them out here, he’d noticed, so it strikes him as a little strange.

“Sorry,” Asahi tells him, “I just realized we don’t have our drinks.”

As if on cue, Noya’s gaze moves from Asahi to the woman approaching their table. Asahi tears his gaze away from the man in front of him to focus on her as well, putting on his most polite smile as she sets the coffee down in front of him.

“Here you go,” she says, “sorry about the wait.”

She turns to leave, and Asahi realizes that she’s only brought his drink.

“Sorry, ma’am?” He calls quickly. “What about my fri-”

He turns to gesture at Noya and falters. The seat across from him is empty; Noya is gone. The employee gives him a strange look, glancing between him and the empty booth across from him. Asahi swallows his sentence back down, where it feels like a thick lump in his throat.

“Nevermind,” he says instead, “thank you.”

She glances at the booth opposite of him again and then seems to simply accept it as strange, for she turns and heads back to the front, leaving Asahi alone with the ghost of Noya’s electric presence.

He ends up getting a to-go cup for his coffee.

Asahi doesn’t know how he got back to his apartment, only that he gets there and he comes back to awareness when he’s unlocking his front door. He falters, hand on his doorknob, gaze fixed on the crook between his thumb and his forefinger. Everything comes back all at once. Is this the right thing to do? Should he have just followed the advice and refused the case upfront? He doesn’t even know when Noya had slipped out. Had it been the brief moment he’d turned his attention to the girl at the shop? Asahi hadn't even heard the bell.

Why hadn’t Noya said anything?

Asahi is starting to think he’s getting too ahead of himself, thinking one normal conversation and a borrowed jacket makes them friends or something. But there’s the thought he’s been hesitant to admit to himself; he wants to be friends with Noya. Something about the other man makes him feel comfortable, regardless of his eccentric nature, and he’s starting to think that maybe Noya was right about his career choice being the wrong one for him.

He can’t afford to get attached to every other person he meets in this line of work. Noya is the first, but Asahi can’t say for sure if he’ll be the last, and Asahi doesn’t even know when the line in the sand got washed away. He doesn’t know if it happened halfway through their conversation or the first time he’d realized something about Noya was too familiar to ignore. Still, Noya had been right about one thing: there’s no way Asahi could have forgotten someone like him.

It’s the only reason Asahi is hesitant to let the feeling of familiarity go.

He realizes with a start that he’s still standing outside, so he pushes the door open and ducks into his apartment. Whatever he ends up deciding to do here, he’s got all the information he thinks he’s going to get from Noya. For now, he needs to crack down on the case. The longer he drags this on, the worse it will get for the both of them. He wants to give Noya the best chance he has of moving on from this, and the only way to do that is to solve it as soon as possible.

Asahi takes his shoes off at the entryway and heads into the living room, setting his bag down next to the low table in front of his couch. He yanks his hair up into a half-hearted bun and collects his notes and files, adding them to the growing pile on the table. Clicking the television on for background noise, he gets to work sorting. The details are still minimal, and the progress looks minimal, but it’s better than nothing. Besides, there’s still that robber at large, and while Asahi has no surefire proof to connect the two outside of a gut feeling, he’s learned very quickly to trust his gut.

He glances up at the TV just in time to catch a glimpse of a reporter standing in front of a house, door caved in and front yard taped off by obnoxious yellow crime scene signs. It catches his attention immediately, so he glances down at the caption.

Armed robbery. Voluntary manslaughter.

Asahi’s heart jumps to his throat. His eyes dart down to the file. What were the odds?

What if it hadn’t been involuntary? The file states that the person had been found dead at the scene, a victim of multiple gunshot wounds from a robbery gone wrong. Robbery. Check. Armed suspect. Check. Had they considered a lack of qualms against hurting people? Asahi flips his notebook to a fresh page and begins charting all the locations the robber had hit thus far. Maybe there’s some sort of pattern they’re overlooking, a rhyme or reason to the places the robber is targeting.

His facts are minimal but sure.

The robber only targets houses, never businesses. The types of houses vary. No known pattern thus far.

The robber is armed and dangerous. Generally, there’s minimal damage to any people they happen to rob, but when those people get in the way or fight back, it’s a different story. There have been people both hospitalized and killed.

The robber has no qualms about killing people who got in the way.

Asahi stares at the page. Finally, at the bottom, he writes Noya? beneath his list of facts. He doesn’t know what the precise connection is with Noya’s case in all of this, but if he can predict where the robber is going to strike next, maybe there’s something to be found there. That’s only if the police themselves don’t beat him there first. Either way, hopefully, some sort of confession would come out and Asahi could call this closed properly. If this is unrelated, then he’s going to have to think of something else fast.

It’s nearly four in the morning when he finally talks himself into going to sleep, but it’s restless at best, and he rises early. He’s off on weekends, so they’re his only opportunity to go get things done if he doesn’t want to go right after work. The case weighs heavily on his thoughts for the entirety of his morning run. When he passes the lake he’d run into Noya at that time, he pauses, only for a moment, to glance around, but Noya isn’t there.

Asahi keeps running, but he’s starting to feel less like he’s keeping active and more like he’s trying to get away from something. He feels like he’s running away from a lot of things, as of late. It can’t be helped.

Azumane Asahi is a coward, he tells himself, and this time he doesn’t think it’s a lie at all.

The next time he sees Noya, it’s on the same route and nearly a week later. Asahi finds himself searching the route consistently without even knowing if Noya even lives in the area, hoping to catch some sort of glimpse of the other man. He hasn’t heard anything from Noya since the day at the coffee shop, and he’s starting to grow a little concerned.

His traitorous heart says something else, but Asahi tries not to listen too hard to things made of glass.

There’s rustling overhead when Asahi passes beneath a tree. It’s followed by a loud yowl, and it’s this that makes Asahi falter in his steps. He pauses, turning his head up to squint into the branches. The early morning sun is bright, near blinding, but the shadow that covers Asahi blocks it out.

He sees the little tag sticking out of the collar of the white shirt first, and then the outstretched arm, pale and skinny, reaching out to a higher branch. Asahi can mostly only see the person’s silhouette, but he knows that figure anywhere.

“Noya?” He calls up hesitantly.

Golden eyes fix on him immediately. Noya looks vaguely surprised, arm still outstretched, lips parted into a perfect little circle. There’s a cat a few branches up from his perch, a skinny little tabby with all of its fur puffed out. Its teeth are bared at the other man, a low growl rising in his throat.

Asahi hasn’t ever seen a cat react like that to someone. Usually, the strays around this area are calm, used to the joggers and families who come through the park trails all the time. He frowns a little at the sight, putting one hand on his hip and using the other to shield his eyes as he peers up.

“Oh,” says Noya, “Hey, Azumane. Fancy seeing you here.”

“I run here every morning now,” Asahi frowns, “you already knew that. What are you doing up there?”

Noya gestures to the cat, who swings at his moving hand. “I came up to save him, but he won’t let me anywhere near him. I think I’m just gonna grab him and deal with the consequences later.”

“What.” Asahi intones.

Noya reaches for the cat.

“What?” Asahi repeats. “Wait, no-”

Noya stretches out of his crouch and snatches the cat in one quick motion. The tabby immediately begins yelling, claws sinking wherever they can reach. Noya yelps, and then takes a surprised step back into mid-air. Asahi shouts. All at once, Noya and the cat come crashing down through the branches, and Asahi slides down on his knees beneath them, breath leaving his body as they collide.

Asahi groans softly from his place on the ground. Noya scrambles off of him, eyes wide. He’s still holding the cat, who looks shaken, but overall unharmed.

“Asahi!” Noya gasps. “Are you okay? Shit, I’m sorry!”

Asahi waves him off with one hand, sitting up slowly. His torso aches where he’d ungracefully caught them, but at least they seem unharmed. His hair falls loose around his shoulders, and he looks around for the tie, only to find it snapped on the ground. It’d been fraying, so he isn’t surprised, but it’s still a little inconvenient.

“It’s okay,” he manages, when he finally catches his breath, “are you two okay?”

Noya beams, holding the cat up victoriously. “We’re totally fine!”

The cat bites Noya’s hand. Noya drops the tabby, and he bolts without so much as a glance back. The short man sulks as he stares after the vanishing animal, crossing his arms over his chest. There are claw marks down the length of his forearms and branches still stuck in his black basketball shorts.

“Rude,” Noya says, getting up.

He offers a hand to Asahi, but Asahi, a little doubtful that Noya can lift him, stands on his own.

“You should be more careful,” he says, frowning.

“I had it handled!”

“You fell out of a tree.”

Noya purses his lips. “You know. Fair.” He sticks his index finger out as if to agree that Asahi has a point. “You got me there.”

“How did you even get up there?” Asahi asks, gazing up at the tree.

There aren’t any visible branches that Noya could have used to climb, and Asahi has to admit that even with his height, he would have been hard-pressed to reach the lowest ones. There’s no way to get a handhold on the trunk, either, so he’s not sure how Noya got up there to begin with.

Noya shrugs. “I climbed? The cat couldn’t get down so I went up to help him.”

Asahi sighs. “Okay, Noya. My apartment isn’t far from here, so let me at least treat the scratches. It’d be bad if you got something.”

Noya hesitates, but then he looks down, inspects his arms, and grimaces a little.

“Okay, lead the way.”

Asahi tucks his hair behind his ears and turns, starting at a steady pace back up the pathway. Noya keeps at his heels, carefree and cheerful as he turns his arms over, inspecting his new battle scars. It’s almost endearing, Asahi dares to think, but he’s still not over how the cat had acted with Noya. Asahi is sure Noya isn’t a bad person, but he’s never seen a reaction like that in the months he’s been running here.

He frowns back as if the tree itself will give him answers, but it stands tall and silent, shadowed against the pale blue sky.

When they climb the steps to Asahi’s apartment, the realization hits him like a bullet. He’s bringing Noya into his apartment. How had they gotten here? Is his apartment even clean? It’s so plain that he doesn’t know what Noya is going to think about it. Had he done the dishes already or were they still sitting in the sink?

Anxiety settles in like a second skin, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. They’re already at the door and Noya is looking up at him expectantly, waiting for him to unlock it. Asahi tries to hide the way his hands shake as he puts the key in the lock and opens it, letting Noya into the dark entryway.

Noya kicks off his shoes at the entrance, and Asahi follows suit, stepping in ahead of the other man. The sink is clean. The living room has a few books on the table and stray papers from his brainstorming session the other night, but otherwise it isn’t unacceptable. He flicks the light on and crosses to the table, shoving the papers messily together.

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company,” he says, “make yourself at home and I’ll grab my first aid kit.”

Noya plops onto the couch, looking around like a curious child. Asahi feels strange having someone over like this. He seldom has company, especially new company, and he feels like he’s being assessed for some sort of test. Clutching the papers to his chest, Asahi hurries into his room for the first aid kit in his bathroom.

Noya is still sitting on the couch when Asahi returns. His gaze is fixed on a photo hanging on the wall. It’s of Asahi, fresh out of the hospital, Suga and Daichi standing just behind him in the frame. Shimizu had been the one to take it, and it’s one of the earliest things he still remembers. Noya frowns at it a little, like he’s struggling to think about something, and Asahi just figures he must have zoned out.

“Noya?” He says as he nears.

Noya straightens, almost imperceptibly, turning his gaze to Asahi as the other man crouches in front of him, opening the first aid kit and setting it aside on the table. Noya gets the hint and offers out his arms while Asahi prepares a cotton pad for cleaning the scratches.

“Ouch,” Noya hisses once Asahi starts dabbing over them.

Asahi shakes his head, holding Noya by the wrist to keep his arm steady.

“Are those your friends?” Noya asks suddenly.

Asahi glances up at him, and then back at the photo. “Yeah,” he says, turning his gaze back onto his task. “The one with the silver hair is Suga. The dark-haired one is Daichi. Our other friend, Shimizu, took the photo, but she’s not very fond of being in them. They were there with me when I was in the hospital for a while.”

“What were you there for?”

Asahi grimaces, remembering why he’d avoided the subject the last time he’d talked to Noya. “Uh,” he starts hesitantly.

He can feel Noya’s gaze on him, but he doesn’t meet his eyes. Asahi gets the feeling that he’ll spill everything if he does, so he stubbornly keeps his focus on treating Noya’s scratches.

“It’s okay, Azumane-san,” Noya laughs, “you don’t have to tell me. I was just being nosy.”

Asahi exhales, a little relieved. He wraps up Noya’s first arm, having finished treating the scratches there. Moving onto the second one, Asahi grabs a fresh cotton pad. He frowns as he sets back to work.

“Noya,” he starts, “where did you go, the other day? At the cafe, I mean?”

Noya stiffens a little under his grip.

“Sorry about that,” the other man mumbles, “I had an emergency I had to handle, so…”

“Oh,” says Asahi, unconvinced, “okay. I was just worried… You just up and vanished without saying anything.”

Noya doesn’t go into any more detail, and Asahi doesn’t push it. He gets the feeling Noya isn’t telling the whole truth, but he’s not going to try to force it out. He has his own secrets, and he’s sure Noya has plenty himself. Despite seeming like a very open person, he’s come to notice that Noya is strange, like he’s never quite there most of the time, and the times that he is, he seems so full of life that he’s ready to burst with it.

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” Noya’s voice is painfully soft.

Asahi’s heart aches. He doesn’t know why that gentle voice hurts, only that it does something strange to him. He catches himself holding his breath, as if even that will break this moment. He knows better. He knows better. He doesn’t know Noya, and Noya doesn’t know him. They’re client and employee, nothing more.

Asahi doesn’t even know himself. How could he even hope to let someone else know him?

“It’s okay,” Asahi gets out, but his voice sounds foreign to himself like it’s coming from someone else speaking in his place instead of him.

Something about the intimacy of the moment makes Asahi feel like he’s an outsider, watching his own hands and fingers tenderly take care of Noya’s newly acquired scratches. He knows there’s more on the man’s face, but he’s scared to raise his gaze. He’s scared that whatever is happening is going to shatter the moment they make eye contact. Asahi is going to realize it’s all in his head, or Noya is going to realize it’s strange for him to be in what is essentially a stranger’s house.

He feels like he knows Noya. The feeling won’t go away, but Noya has told him that he’s sure they’ve never met. Asahi couldn’t forget someone like him, and Asahi is inclined to agree. He’s stalling now, and he knows it, and he’s sure Noya knows it, but neither of them say anything about it as Asahi cleans over the scars a second, and then a third time.

Finally, he bandages the second arm. Noya’s skin is cold beneath his grip, freezing like the other man has been standing in negative temperatures for hours. Asahi knows this isn’t the case, so he assumes Noya must just run cold in comparison to Asahi himself. Noya seems unbothered, either way.

“Thanks,” Noya finally breaks the silence.

Asahi dares to raise his gaze. Noya’s eyes are trained on him, sharp and focused with such intense clarity that Asahi is momentarily taken aback. Noya looks as if he’s a page ahead of Asahi, waiting for him to catch up. Asahi isn’t sure if he should, much less if he wants to.

“Well,” he replies, averting his gaze to get another cotton pad, “I wasn’t just going to leave you after I watched it happen. I don’t mean to be rude, but you seem like you’d neglect taking care of them.”

Noya grins crookedly in the corner of his vision. “You’re right,” he says, “I would. But that’s not all I was thanking you for.”

Asahi pauses, mid-turn, pad raised to start in on the scratches on Noya’s face. He blinks, confused. “Huh?”

“That was for everything,” Noya continues. “I know this case isn’t easy on you. I’m sorry I dumped it on you, but something told me you’re the only one who can handle it, and I always listen to my instinct. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet. So I was saying thank you for putting up with all of this.”

Oh, Asahi thinks, and then says, “Oh.”

Noya laughs. “Oh?”

“Sorry. No, wait. I mean… You don’t need to thank me.” Asahi reaches out, carefully starting to clean the scratches across Noya’s cheek.

“Ow,” Noya says, again.

“Sorry,” Asahi frowns, knowing there isn’t much he can do about the pain.

“It’s okay. I got myself into this, so I’ll tough it out!” The golden-eyed boy declares.

Asahi smiles to himself. Noya’s energy is near contagious, and he’s just about forgotten about his previous anxiety of having the other man in his house. Noya seems nonchalant and uncaring, like he doesn’t care to judge how Asahi lives either way.

“There,” Asahi says, putting bandages over the last few scratches. “Done.”

Noya gives him a double thumbs-up, grinning so widely it looks painful. “Cool! Thanks, Asahi! You’re the best!”

Asahi holds both hands up placatingly. “I wouldn’t go that far…”

“No!” A fire lights in Noya’s eyes, and he reaches out, grabbing both of Asahi’s hands so abruptly that the brunet squeaks. “It’s true! Don’t go selling yourself short, okay?”

Asahi’s voice catches in his throat. He wants to protest again, but Noya’s gaze is so intense that he physically can’t bring himself to do anything more than nod in agreement. It seems to satisfy Noya, so he releases Asahi’s hands and hops up from the couch.

“Alright! I’m gonna head out now, but I’ll see you soon, yeah? We’ll get this done!”

Noya reaches out, bumping Asahi’s shoulder with his fist. The little tap startles Asahi back into reality, and he scrambles to his feet, following Noya to the door and watching him put his shoes on. At the door, they both hesitate. Asahi looks down at his feet, but he can feel Noya’s gaze on him.

“Be safe,” Asahi says, finally.

Noya stares at him for a long moment. Finally, he reaches out, squeezes Asahi’s arm, and then turns away and bolts down the stairs. Asahi watches him jog down the road, and then vanish over the crest of the hill, out of sight, but never out of mind.

Maybe, he considers, he should have tried to make him stay.

Asahi stares at the hill Noya had vanished over for a long moment longer. He stares as if he’s waiting for the other man to turn around and come back, citing that it’s too late to head home, and the trains aren’t running anyway, so it’d take a while on foot. Asahi still doesn’t know if Noya lives nearby or closer to the agency, but either way, he could have thought of something.

He stares on, but Noya doesn’t come back. Finally, Asahi closes the door behind him and flicks the lock.

“You’ve been busy lately,” Kozume remarks, the following Monday, without looking up from his Switch screen.

Asahi doesn’t know how he gets away with playing video games at work so often, but he supposes as long as Kozume is efficient at his job, their boss doesn’t really care. He’s starting to give Asahi some eyes about the case he’s on, so he knows it’s time to hurry up and wrap it up.

Narita comes in, bearing coffee. He hands them out to each of the others in the room, setting Kozume’s next to him and handing Akaashi’s off. Crossing to Asahi, he offers out the coffee.

“Same as usual? How’s it going?” He asks.

Asahi accepts the warm drink from the receptionist. “It’s going,” he sighs, “I haven’t made too much progress outside of some guessed predictions. My sole witness has this habit of up and vanishing and apparently doesn’t have a phone to contact.”

Narita nods sympathetically. “Client isn’t making it easy, huh? This is probably your first one of those, but I see them come through all the time. It’ll work out, so don’t stress too much.”

“He can do with a little stress,” Akaashi comments, taking a sip of his coffee.

Narita turns to give him a withering look and then turns back to Asahi. “Anyway, drink up while it’s warm and then go back into this thing with a fresh mind, yeah? Good luck, Azumane.”

Asahi watches the receptionist go, and takes a long drink of his coffee. It burns his tongue, but he doesn’t flinch away. The moment of pain, however brief, does its part to make everything come into sharper focus. Three days from now, he’ll have been slugging through this case for a month. That’s the time limit he’s going to give himself; if he hasn’t figured this out or made any significant progress in the next few days, he’s going to tell Noya he can’t do it.

Resolution set in his mind, Asahi dives back into his work with renewed vigor.

“Don’t stay too late,” Akaashi says, later that night.

Kozume is already long gone, and Akaashi had finished his work, so he’s getting ready to leave too. It’s just Asahi now, with everyone else out. The black-haired man puts his jacket over his arm and strolls out. Only a moment later, Narita peers in.

“Azumane? Someone is waiting outside for you.”

Asahi glances up, confused. He hadn’t been expecting anybody, but it’s as good a reason as any to change location. He nods in acknowledgment to Narita and hurries to pack his things, pulling his bag over his shoulder and heading out.

Outside, he glances around in search of the person. It takes him a minute to spot them, but when his gaze shifts down, it catches on the streak of blond in Noya’s hair. The other man looks up when Asahi emerges from the building, and then stands immediately when he realizes who it is.

“Noya?” Asahi questions, surprised.

“Hey,” Noya smiles crookedly, “sorry for showing up out of nowhere. I was out and I just ended up here. Are you getting ready to head home?”

Asahi readjusts his bag. “Yeah, I just finished for the night. How did you end up way out here again?”

Noya opens his mouth to answer, and then closes it again, frowning in confusion. Finally, he just shrugs a little, as if he isn’t sure himself.

“I just did,” he says. “Can I walk with you?”

Asahi hesitates, but finally nods in concession. Noya falls into step beside him as he heads out towards the train station. It’s later than Asahi usually leaves, and the streets are nearly empty now. The sun is starting to set beneath the taller buildings in the distance, and Asahi gets the feeling it will be well past dark by the time he gets home.

“Do you live around here, Noya?” Asahi asks, glancing down at the other man.

He recalls seeing Noya back near where he lives, as well, but maybe the shorter man just gets around a lot. This is his chance to finally figure it out, so Asahi seizes it.

Noya hesitates a little, lips parting like he’s going to speak, then closing again. “Uh,” he starts, glancing around, “well-”

Noya cuts off, gaze catching on movement nearby. There’s a girl, no older than seven or eight, stumbling down the sidewalk. Even from this distance, Asahi can see the scrapes on her knees. She’s bawling, rubbing her face with the back of her hands, but steadily making her way down the sidewalk nonetheless, like she’s on a mission.

Asahi exchanges a look with Noya, and they both hurry toward her. Noya reaches her first, crouching in front of her and starting to talk. Asahi is a short pace behind him, catching up just in time to hear the child speak through her tears and sniffling.

“A bad man came into our house,” she sniffles, stuttering around her hiccups, “and Mama told me to run away and get help, but she’s stuck there with him!”

Asahi’s blood goes cold. This is it. The one time he hadn’t been trying to find the man and it practically fell into his lap. Noya is clearly thinking the same thing, expression hard and eyebrows downturned. He meets Asahi’s eyes and nods.

“Hi,” Asahi says, crouching down, “I’m a detective. I can go help your mama, but I need you to tell me which house is yours. Can you do that for me?”

The girl sniffs, looking up at him. “T-The one with the flower mailbox Mama and I painted…”

Noya is already running. Asahi squeezes the girl’s shoulders, getting back to his feet.

“Listen carefully. We’re going to go help your mama, so I need you to be brave for me, okay? Find someone and ask them to call the police for you. We’ll make sure your mom is safe.”

The little girl’s gaze follows him as he runs after Noya. He has no chance of catching up with the spitfire of a man, but Noya waits at the door for him, clearly trying to find a good way in. Asahi glances into the shattered window. The coast seems clear. He gestures to Noya and creeps around to the front door, opening it slowly.

It doesn’t creak, and Asahi thanks any god that exists as he and Noya sneak into the quiet house. Asahi puts a finger to his lips, signaling for Noya to follow him. Together, they quietly round the corner and immediately come face to face with the robber.

They catch the man by surprise. Asahi sees it in the glance he gets of the man’s expression before he’s forced to leap out of the way, bullets riddling the wall where he’d just been standing. To his right, Noya hisses from his spot on the ground, and Asahi has to suppress the nausea that rises in his chest at the sight of red blossoming across Noya’s shoulder.

“Noya,” he gasps, scrambling over, “I’m so sorry. I should have reacted faster. You’re going to need medical attention-” “Asahi,” Noya’s grin edges on pained, but he’s pushing through, nudging Asahi away. “I’m fine. I'm tough, remember? So don’t worry about me. I’ll live, so worry about that kid’s mom first. You bust that guy for the both of us, okay?”

His fingers brush Asahi’s cheek, cold against the skin there, and Asahi’s everything zeroes in on just that sensation. He focuses on the way that Noya’s hand feels against his cheek, electricity at his fingertips. He focuses on the way that regardless of whether he’d known Noya before or not, he knows him now, and he wouldn’t ask for it any other way.

Kissing Noya feels like second nature. He’s careful of the other man’s shoulder, even if it’s nothing more than a brief press of lips, but when he pulls away, Noya exhales like it’s the first breath he’s taken in years.

“Stay safe,” he tells Asahi, “‘cause if you die on me, I’ll summon you back and annoy you as a ghost.”

Asahi laughs. “I won’t. Get somewhere safe, Noya.”

He squeezes Noya’s hand and then hurries into the hallway, keeping low and staying alert. He doesn’t know where the robber is, but the robber doesn’t know his location either. But only one of them has a gun, and it isn’t Asahi, so he’s at a disadvantage here. His priority is getting the woman out safely, but he hasn’t seen her yet, so he’s hoping she’s already hiding somewhere safe. His and Noya’s arrival had distracted the robber for a moment, and he just has to hope the moment is enough if he can’t find her first.

Asahi ducks behind the couch just in time to avoid being seen by the man who creeps in through the next hall. He drops to his hands and knees, sneaking around the side to watch the man’s slow progression towards the kitchen, where he assumes there’s a side door. The man’s gaze sweeps the room once, twice. Asahi creeps forward when his back is turned, and the moment he takes a step to move away, Asahi lunges.

He’s scared. God, he’s terrified. He shouldn’t have made any promises to Noya. He isn’t immortal. If this man gets the upper hand, Asahi knows he has no chance.

But he can’t think about that. Right now, he can only focus on survival, on grappling with the man before him for control over the single gun. The robber’s eyes are wide, wild with disbelief. Asahi can’t figure out what he’s so surprised about; surely, he’d expected someone to come after him eventually for all of this? Asahi pulls and the man resists, They shove and turn and twist, brute strength against brute strength, fighting for control of the situation. A stray shot shatters a vase, and there’s a muffled whimper from the closet next to it.

The woman.

Asahi has the upper hand. It’s only for a moment, but the sound distracts him, and the moment is more than enough. The robber twists around and slams his elbow into Asahi’s face hard enough to send him pinwheeling back into the coffee table, head slamming into the wood hard enough to make his vision go black, and then blurry. The aftermath leaves Asahi feeling like there’s an army in his skull waging war against the bones, pounding relentlessly against his forehead.

It hurts. It hurts. He can’t think. He can barely see straight.

He’s been in this situation before.

When he manages to get his vision to focus, only a little, he is staring down the barrel of the gun. The man’s chest heaves, expression twisted in fury, all bared teeth and vicious stance. And this is it — Asahi has no chance here. This is the end, and his promise to Noya will go unfulfilled after all. He thinks about Noya, laughing loud and free, holding his hand to the sunlight so the golden band on his finger glitters. Except Asahi doesn’t know where he picked up that memory. His head is pounding, a steady thump, thump, thump against his skull. His head is pounding and he is thinking and Azumane Asahi is going to die here and now, just like the man in the case he’d been trying so hard to solve. He can’t even close his eyes, watching the man’s finger on the trigger as if in slow motion.

But it never comes.

Instead, there is Noya, howling bloody murder, all feral motions and vengeful anger, streaking out of the hallway and barreling into the man. They both hit the ground and the gun skids away from them. Asahi’s shaken, but he still notices the lack of red staining Noya’s white t-shirt. Asahi trembles, but he realizes right away that Noya’s wound looks as if it had never existed to begin with. Noya looms over the man like a wraith, teeth bared, golden eyes glittering with a promise, a threat, and Asahi thinks to grab the gun before the man recovers from Noya’s winding attack. The would-be thief writhes beneath the other man, but Noya is unyielding and less hesitant than Asahi.

He takes the flower pot off the table and breaks it over the man’s head, knocking him out cold. Asahi is left in stunned silence, clutching the gun, staring at Noya as he hunches over the unconscious man, shoulders heaving with every breath. Asahi is still concerned; he can’t see Noya’s wound, or any sign of it, but for all he knows, Noya had just managed to find an extra shirt. It’s doubtful and farfetched, but it’s the only possible explanation, isn’t it?

“Asahi,” Noya gasps, “Asahi, are you okay? Did he hurt you? You’re bleeding.” He hadn’t noticed, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, Asahi touches his head and his hand comes away red. He stares at his fingertips, dizzy, and finally sinks to his knees. Noya scrambles off of the man and barrels right into Asahi, straddling his waist to lean over and inspect Asahi’s head. Outside, sirens wail as their backup arrives, and Asahi sighs, relieved that the little girl had found somewhere safe. The officers come flooding in. Asahi feels like hell, but he’s more worried about making sure everything gets taken care of, so he directs them to the woman hiding, and then to the unconscious robber on the ground. It’s over.

Reaching out to touch Noya’s face, Asahi feels like sobbing. “I’m okay,” he rasps out, “I’m okay. You got shot, though, didn’t you? You shouldn’t do reckless things with a wound like that.”

Noya scrambles back off of him and out of Asahi’s reach before the detective can inspect his previously injured shoulder. He takes a little step aside, gaze averted, frown fixed on his features. Asahi’s eyes follow him as he moves away a little.

“Noya?” He frowns, moving to stand.

One of the officers shouts. Asahi’s attention catches on the shout and his gaze follows, catching sight of the previously unconscious man thrashing on the ground. He’s on his stomach facing Asahi, and one of the officers is straddling his back to cuff him. It’s his expression that catches Asahi’s notice, the sheer rage, face twisted up in hatred. His eyes glitter furiously, lips pulled back to bare his teeth in a snarl.

“You’re supposed to be dead!” He shouts. “You both died! I know I killed you, so why the fuck are you still alive?!”

Asahi’s heart falters in his chest. His head hurts. God, it hurts.

“I robbed you months ago! I shot that boy to death! You were dead! You’re supposed to be dead!”

He keeps shouting it. Asahi is cold to the bone, dropped into an endlessly deep pile of fresh snow with no way out. All he sees is the man’s face, and all he hears is dead and his head hurts so much. He’s supposed to be dead? He’s alive, though. He’s alive, but he doesn’t have memories, and he’s supposed to be dead. What boy had he meant? Noya? Did that mean Asahi had known him before after all? Had they both lost their memories?

Something is screaming in the back of his mind to come out. Asahi clutches his head in his hands, feeling panic swell heavily in his throat, suffocating him. His vision is dark at the edges and the gun is on the floor beside him, just within his gaze.

“Asahi,” Noya croaks behind him, voice soft and pained.

Asahi, it echoes and echoes and echoes, and all at once, everything slams back down. He remembers, and he doesn’t know how he could ever forget. The wedding band burns against the hollow of his throat like a brand. He watches, dumbstruck and breathless, as the robber is hauled out. He remembers who he is. He remembers who Noya is.

“Yuu,” he gasps, whirling around.

But the other man is gone.

⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤⏤

Asahi hates the smell of hospitals.

The nurse tells him he’s fine to leave, but he needs to come back for another check-up in a week to make sure there isn’t further head or brain damage. The doctors know his memory has returned, so they’re hopeful, but Asahi can’t share their joy. He goes home, empty-handed and desolate. He’s thinking about everything, about Yuu, about the wedding band around his throat. He doesn’t know where the other man had vanished to this time, but he hopes he’d at least had the sense to get medical attention.

And a week goes by.

In the seven days that Nishinoya Yuu is gone, Asahi dreams.

In his dreams, Asahi dies slowly.

His body is a mass of static and there is nothing but pain and pain and more pain. He’s vaguely aware of someone, somewhere, calling his name. Asahi, they’re saying, Asahi, please wake up.

Except this time, he doesn’t. This time, the pieces reconnect themselves. He is not the one in pain, nor is he the one being called out to. In his dreams, Asahi comes home to their shared home and finds Yuu on the floor, riddled with gunshot wounds and already bleeding out. In his dreams, Yuu is unconscious, and Asahi is sobbing, his voice cracking as he tries desperately to call the police.

“Yuu,” he’s begging, “Yuu, please wake up.”

In his dreams, Azumane Asahi does not make it home in time to stop his husband from fighting a robber. Azumane Yuu had fought alone and lost, and by the time Asahi had gotten back, he’d already been half-dead. Asahi hunches over him, pleading with any god that might listen.

He doesn’t know when he got up, only that he’s standing. He doesn’t know when the man appeared around the corner, only that he’s surprised by his appearance, and when they fight, Asahi does not win. He sees the table come into his line of vision.

There’s pain, and then there’s nothing.

Asahi wakes slowly from the darkness as the pieces slide together in his mind. Suddenly, everything makes sense. He hadn’t given the theory any thought before; it’d simply been the most unbelievable thing, but now he’s sure. It all makes too much sense. The name, the vanishing acts, the same outfit all the time, the strange looks Asahi would get when he would bring Yuu up with others, the missing bullet wound in his shoulder.

Yuu is already dead.

Asahi thinks the cold chill of resignation is the hardest part.

When he sits up, Yuu is sitting on the end of his bed. Asahi can see the door through his blood-stained shirt. The sight makes his heart ache anew. How cruel, he thinks, to make him fall in love with this man all over again, only to lose him once more. Had he really ever had Yuu to begin with?

Yuu looks like he had the last night Asahi had seen him as Azumane Yuu, and not Noya. His face is pale and hollow, golden eyes set into his features, a shade duller than Asahi is used to seeing them. His shirt, previously white, is riddled with bullet holes and stained with blood. Asahi is scared to even breathe for the fear of Yuu leaving once and for all.

Yuu doesn’t look at him when he speaks.

“I’m dead.” It’s not a question. Yuu knows this is a fact. “Right?”

“I’m sorry,” Asahi chokes out.

It isn’t enough. This isn’t enough. He has so much more he wants to say to Yuu. He wants to tell him how sorry he is. He wants to tell him that it should have been Asahi who’d died that day. Yuu had so much to live for, and Asahi barely knows how to live for himself. He wants to tell him how much he loves him, how they were supposed to have a whole life ahead of them. Their adventure had only just begun and it had been torn out from beneath them before they could take the first step.

Asahi chokes on his breath. It isn’t fair. It still isn’t fair.

He wants to say, please, don’t leave me again.

Yuu’s form flickers. Asahi covers his mouth to stifle the sob there. Yuu is in front of him now, gaze soft with acceptance. Even in death, he is the stronger of the two of them. Even now, his unwavering dependability makes Asahi feel safe.

“Asahi,” he says, ghostly fingers brushing past the strands of hair by Asahi’s ears, “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Asahi manages. “Why are you sorry? Yuu, I’m the one who should be apologizing. If I hadn’t gotten held up that day-”

“Then you would have died too.” Noya cuts him off.

Yuu stares him down, golden eyes piercing, and Asahi falters beneath that gaze.

“Asahi, I’m saying sorry because I promised you forever, but I have to go now. I love you so much, you stupid crybaby. I love you more than anything, and even if we were reborn, I’d find you again in ten thousand lifetimes. It’s always going to be you. You’re the kindest, bravest person I’ve ever known, and I’d do everything the same if it meant I had the chance to love you.” Asahi feels like he’s suffocating in his own words. He wants to grab Yuu and hold him close, but his hands pass right through the other man’s shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do without you,” he sobs, “Yuu, I don’t want to go without you. I don’t know how to socialize properly, and nobody else reminds me to take my meds. I can’t ground myself alone when I have an anxiety attack, and you always know what to say when I have a nightmare. I’m not brave. I let people walk over me when you aren’t there to tell them to lay off. You can’t leave because I don’t know what to do without you. I’m brave when you’re around because you make me feel like I can be.”

Yuu laughs. It’s a strangled half sob.

“Someone as cool as you shouldn’t be such a crybaby. You’re your own person, Asahi. You don’t need me or anyone else, even if you think you do. I’m not the one who makes you brave. You do that. And I need you to be extra brave for me now, okay?” His smile wobbles as he reaches out, hand hovering over Asahi’s cheek. “I need you to be brave enough to live the rest of your life, even if I’m not there to live it with you. I wish I could stay and make you as happy as you made me. I wish we could travel the world and have kids and grow old together. But I’ll always be with you.” And this time, when he reaches to touch Asahi, his palm settles over the ring strung around Asahi’s neck and stays there. The point of contact is warm, pulsing out into Asahi’s chest. He feels like he can breathe again. Asahi is so tired of being scared.

He manages a shaky laugh. “You still have my jacket.” Yuu smiles, something soft that touches the edges of his eyes. “Yeah,” he huffs, “sorry about that.” Asahi covers the hand Yuu has over his chest with his own. “Yuu,” he says, “I love you. I love you so much and I always have, and I’m sorry I never said that enough. I’m sorry that we couldn’t have the life we deserved. But I’ll keep living for you, as long as you promise to wait for me. Find me again in the next life, and the one after that, and the one after that. Please let me fall in love with you again.” A single tear slides down Yuu’s face.

“Always,” he says.

Asahi does not get his coat back, but he feels it like a pit of warmth in his chest when Yuu is gone. He sinks slowly forward, gathering the blanket up in his arms and pressing it to his face in a futile attempt to gather the last bits of Yuu’s presence from the fabric. But he’s gone, and Asahi is alone again, with nothing but the ghost of his memory and a promise. His room is empty and the pit of warmth in his chest is a sorry excuse for Yuu’s presence. He’s alone for now, but he’s going to be brave, and he’s going to find Yuu again in the next life. He may not have him now, but he’s never going to let him go again. He has that.

His fingers close slowly over the ring dangling from his neck, pressing the memories there deep into his chest where they’ll make a home.

(And this, at least.)

#asanoya #azumane asahi #nishinoya yuu #haikyuu #major character death #unreliable narrator #marimo writes #haikyuu!!#marimo give asahi a break challenge

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