#me when i'm feral about something that doesn't exist

[full-of-malice]

miguel o'hara & trauma

a little character analysis + my thoughts about him idk he has ptsd because i said so brief general content warnings for death, trauma, grief, suicide, and there is atsv spoilers idk if i should put warnings for that or not

miguel o'hara like all individuals with trauma, especially ptsd, has intense reactions to anything regarding his trauma. he also carries intense fear, anger, grief, and guilt, common emotions that many trauma survivors struggle with.  examples of his fear include how he fears for the destruction of the multiverse. the intense anger reactions when someone doesn't understand the weight, and the very intense anger directed at himself.  the grief that he can't seem to escape, as he's constantly shown with the heavy weight of his daughter's death on his shoulders. he is also  his guilt is what drives everything. his grief fuels him, sure, but his overwhelming guilt for his daughter's death causes him to want to make sure it will never happen ever again, at whatever cost that it takes. it's the only way to ever repay the wrong that he had done. miguel's guilt and rage are the only things that are driving him through his day to day life, since he feels he has the entire multiverse on his shoulders, and the devastating guilt of his daughter's death on his mind, leaving him in a perpetual state of exhaustion. does this excuse his actions that he made in his intense rage such as physically chasing teens? no. does it give an explanation? yes.  understanding miguel's trauma is important to understanding why and how he functions. it goes far beyond sad silly man, it leans into a moral debt and spiraling emotions that lead him to do what he does. he's constantly in an environment surrounded by what caused his trauma, which is an incredibly triggering and stressful work life. he is never given a chance to take a step back or separate himself from it. always surrounded by something that hurt him in a way that cannot be undone but his sense of moral debt and heavy guilt doesn't allow him to remove himself from the situation to give himself a break or allow himself to get the proper help that he needs while this is already an intense and struggling situation to be in mentally, miguel struggled a lot before even finding the dimension where he had a daughter, he has a very strong and intense implied prior trauma. going off of some of the world building and my slight knowledge of the comics [i'm. not a fan of the comics!miguel but simply going off of world building] there is a lot of corruption, with the top layer of the worlds being perfect areas for the wealthy, but only for the poor or lesser peoples living below the surface of the earth. this is briefly implied through the chase scene in atsv when miguel is chasing down miles.  so in this world it's already messed up. he's implied to have had a hard life. miguel had turned himself into a spider person, and often viewed himself as a monster. he couldn't come to terms with who or what he was, could never fully be okay with the fact that he wasn't human anymore. this self hatred it came to a point in the comics were he was even suicidal.  not to mention that he likely has a strange complex that comes from the borderline psychological horror of invading a person's life and not being the person that they think you are, when he replaced gabi's father in the other dimension.  all of this comes to the point where on top of already having mental health issues, he also had to death with the death of his daughter, and having that weight and guilt on his mind.  all in all he makes for a very sympathetic character who does things that are wrong and inexcusable, in a misguided attempt to do the right thing.

if you read this whole thing thanks a lot for deeming this incoherent mess of words worthy of your time i had a lot of fun writing this actually

[lovelyhan]

Okay, you still have a spot. Great. I thought they'd be filled so, I didn't send anything lmao. Insomnia has its perks.

This is deeply self-indulgent and I'd love more Hao from you. So, hear me out, Minghao with a breeding kink. I feel like it doesn't get enough attention especially given how much that man gravitates towards babies lol. Like he and Reader visit Cheol's and see him with his new baby and, Hao's like oh, wait a minute. I think this is making me feel some type of way.

— terrified ⟢

minghao has a knack for keeping the things you tell him in mind. from your favorite brand of wine to how the idea of bearing children terrifies you—he remembers all of it. so your husband is in a bit of a crisis when he realizes that this newfound desire to start a family kind of clashes with something you trusted him to respect.

★ FEATURING; minghao x f!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 4.4k words

★ TAGS; idolverse, established relationship, hao trying (and failing) to play it cool about the wanting-to-be-a-father thing, brief discussion abt family planning, this is only a little sad bc hao has overthinkeritis, smut (MINORS DNI!)

★ WARNINGS; mentions of pregnancy and childbirth but nothing too graphic

★ NOTES; i scheduled to post this when it hit exactly 12 midnight in rj's timezone just in time for her birthday :> (pls look away if i got the schedule wrong,,,) i'm not really back yet bcs this is a queued post, but happy birthday, beloved. i love you more than i can say directly, so i decided to just write a fic for you instead! hopefully, i can come back and torment you with every other seventeen member BUT cheol soon :3c

★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampie, multiple rounds, mating press, hao is just really feral in this yk

★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti--red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @dearjeonwonwoo - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon - @todorokiskitten - @immabecreepin - @98-0603 - @peachhiz

★ MINGHAO TAGLIST; @haoxiaoba - @jeonride - @coffeestay - @hyvnae

In the height of his career as an idol, Xu Minghao filmed a certain piece of content where he was asked a normal question to which he responded with a slightly controversial answer.

"How many kids do you want in the future?"

"Oh, It's not me who'll give birth, so I can't be the one to decide."

It's a response that made waves on the Internet during the week the video was first posted—a reaction from both fans and casual netizens alike that Minghao definitely did not anticipate that he would receive when they packed up the set several months prior.

It's pretty much the logical answer, isn't it? Sure, he'd love to have kids someday, but the quantity isn't something he should decide on without his non-existent partner's input.

Minghao learns further down the road, when he finally meets and eventually gets together with you, that the number of children isn't the only thing that a couple should mutually agree on.

"I don't really want to have kids..."

You tell him this during a spontaneous date he deigned to take you out on. He just came back from a tour packed with a long list of stops and even if he should probably catch up on some sleep, he opted to have a picnic with you at the park because of how much he missed you.

Your cheeks are stuffed with a few bites of pie, thoughtfully chewing as you wait for Minghao's response to your sudden confession. If he didn't know you as well as he does, he wouldn't have sensed the waves of anxiety rolling off of you in waves—as if you're waiting for him to get mad at you for simply being honest.

Mingao heaves a quiet sigh before he pulls you into his chest—a tiny squeak caught in your throat after swallowing your food.

"Hey, that doesn't make me love you any less," he murmurs, pressing his lips on top of your head. "I know bearing children can be terrifying and painful, so I completely understand."

For a moment, your brow dips, a soft frown tugging at your lips. "I-It's not that I'm terrified... Okay, maybe a little. But—"

Minghao promptly silences your protests with a firm kiss on your lips—one that you find yourself easily melting into given the time and distance that's separated you until this moment. He smiles against your mouth, glad that you can be honest with him about things like this.

"No buts, if you don't want to have kids, that's alright," he murmurs before pulling away. "Maybe we can just get a dog. You're already close with Mingyu, aren't you?"

That makes you snicker. "You're so mean."

It's a brief exchange that Minghao doesn't really think about again for several years. After all, his career as an idol was at an all-time high. As much as he wants to settle down with you and start the next phase of his life, he's certain that he shouldn't step out of the limelight just yet.

But it doesn't take long for time to catch up with him.

One by one, his brothers are off to fulfill their mandatory service and the group's activities are at a momentary standstill. Those who were left behind go their separate ways for a while—Joshua expanding his solo promotions in the US and Jun taking up more brand sponsorships in China.

Minghao chose to stay in Seoul mostly for your sake, and the fact that this city is the only common ground between him and the rest of the boys. When Vernon and Seungkwan enlisted together, it was around the time that Seungcheol and Jeonghan came back with overgrown buzzcuts, while Joshua landed in Incheon for the first time in two years.

It was also the time when you and Minghao got married.

The event was celebrated among close friends and family with only a brief news article about the marriage of SEVENTEEN's The8 allowed by the company to circulate for a while. They did a good job at keeping things hush hush, and Minghao thinks it's only because it's been more than a decade since his debut that they're being so lenient.

But even if they weren't, nothing would stop Xu Minghao from making you his wife either way.

It takes a few more years for all thirteen of them to get back together again, but when they do, the first thing that Seungcheol does is invite everybody to his daughter's first birthday.

Minghao has met baby Suri a handful of times in the past. Seungcheol's wife visits them at the company from time to time, wheeling Suri's stroller into the practice room as her uncles all fawn over her until she's crying. For some reason, the only people the infant seems to tolerate are Jun and Seokmin.

It's pretty much the same scene during the party. Seokmin and Jun are the only ones allowed within a one-meter radius from Seungcheol's baby girl to prevent an incurable crying episode in the middle of the celebration. Soonyoung was not happy with the fact that he can't personally give Suri the little tiger plush he got for her, but Minghao thinks it's for the best.

But then, as everyone was finishing up with dinner, he saw you walk up to Seungcheol's wife with a familiar sparkle in your eyes. You're staring at Suri who's all dressed up for her party with a look of endearment—nearly gushing with how animatedly you're speaking with her mother.

Minghao doesn't think much of it. You and her have always gotten along for as long as he can remember.

What does catch him completely off-guard, however, is the fact that Suri is being handed into your arms and you let it all happen without much of a fuss.

Chan was in the middle of telling him about this martial arts move that he'd wanted to choreograph into a dance but as much as he wants to give the younger man advice, his gaze is completely glued to the sight of you with Suri in cradled against your chest.

It's one thing to see a woman holding a baby. It's another to see his wife do the same thing.

"Hao, look!" You quickly call him over when you catch his eyes in the crowd. "Suri thinks I'm worthy! It's been five minutes since her mom handed her over and she's still not crying."

The sight is so adorable that Minghao abruptly excuses himself from his conversation with Chan to rush towards you with clipped strides. His heart thunders inside his chest as you visibly dote on Seungcheol's daughter, and he isn't sure if he wants to give the feeling a name.

It eventually fades into a barely there throb in his chest when he drives back home for the evening. You quickly fill the silence with your attempts at looking at some properties in this newly opened residential area near the freeway and as always, your husband lends a willing ear.

"It's a little far from your company building, but it's much more spacious than our apartment right now," you chuckle, face alight with the glow of your screen as you scroll through the property's details on your phone.

Minghao hums before pulling over at a red light. "Hm? Isn't our place alright as it is? Why would we need the extra space?"

He half-expected you to answer with something along the lines of, so I can have more space to keep my book collection in or so you can have enough room to practice at home if you want to.

But all you do is let out an uneasy laugh, locking your phone before depositing it in the cupholder on the middle console.

"Y-Yeah, you're right. That was a bit silly of me."

The next time Minghao unwittingly makes the connection with you and the prospect of having kids is when Seungkwan's nephews are in Seoul for a couple of weeks.

While he and his sister are off to run errands every now and again, they typically ask Jun to watch over the kids because out of all the members, he's definitely the only one who can be trusted around children. Even more than those who are actual fathers.

But it just so happens that Jun is all the way in Shanghai to shoot for a historical drama, and for some reason, Seungkwan thought it would be a good idea to drop his nephews off at Minghao's doorstep.

"You're pretty decent with kids and your wife can take care of anything," Seungkwan praises while he ushers four year-old Hanjun into the room and eight month-old Jiren into your arms. "We'll be back for them after lunch!"

It's just as Seungkwan said though: Minghao is pretty decent with kids and you can take care of anything.

While waiting for lunch to cook in the kitchen, you both do your part in entertaining the children—Minghao pointing out different shapes and animals in the picture book from Hanjun's backpack while you quietly feed Jiren the baby formula that Seungkwan's sister prepared in advance.

So distracted with the sight of your soft gaze transfixed on the baby in your arms, Minghao barely notices it when the soup he's prepared starts to overflow from the pot. You scold him for being so distracted before he shuffles into the kitchen with his tail between his legs.

As he salvages what's left of the soup, Minghao tries to pull himself together. Sure, it's been a few years since you two tied the knot, but you made it clear years ago that children wasn't on the table when it comes to the two of you.

It's something that you both agreed on even before marriage, and Minghao isn't about to break your trust by saying he suddenly wants kids all because seeing them in your arms makes his brain short-circuit. He has more tact than that.

"Is it just me or are you acting a little weird?"

For some reason, you choose later that evening to corner him in the quiet of your bedroom. Minghao was just getting ready to sleep when you turned to face him with a frown.

"Weird how?" he wonders, praying that you wouldn't single him out like you probably will.

"I don't know, you were looking at me funny when I was giving Jiren his formula," you point out. "You only do that when you want something from me."

Your words make him sigh. Of course his wife would catch onto every nuance of his actions—even from his stare alone.

"And what do you think it is that I want?"

"Xu Minghao, we're already married. Cut the games and just tell me what's on your mind."

God, he really couldn't love you any more than he does now.

It takes several minutes, but you and your husband eventually migrate to the living room—cups of hot chocolate in hand as you patiently wait for Minghao to open up about something he's been keeping to himself for a while now.

He's rightfully nervous—hands clammy around the ceramic of the mug that matches yours. It's Game of Thrones-themed with a dragon's neck acting as a handle. You kept insisting at the souvenir shop that its selling point was the unique design, but Minghao was pretty sure you were excited by the fact that the printed text changes color depending on the drink's temperature.

With that memory suddenly drifting into his mind, the tension ebbs from his shoulders. Though he tends to forget, you're the last person who'll condemn him for what he's about to say to you.

"I've been thinking of starting a family with you," he admits—hitting his point straight to the roots. "But... I always brushed it aside because I know how you feel about kids. I don't want to force you into something you don't want."

It's in times like this where silence is more deafening than actual noise. It rings in Minghao's ears as you watch the steam rise from your mug and your husband lets himself stew in his anticipation, wondering how you'll choose to respond to his honesty.

Will you laugh at him? Will you be angry with him? It's a subject that the two of you rarely broach with each other, so he isn't quite sure how to handle whatever reaction you'll grace him with.

What Minghao never would've expected, however, is for you to crack him a relieved smile.

"Me? I thought you didn't want kids because having one would be detrimental to your career," you chuckle, taking the first few sips from your hot chocolate. "And you always kinda shrugged it off whenever I tried to ease the topic into the conversation."

"I did?" Your husband scowls. "When did I do that?"

"After Suri's birthday party? When I was showing you a couple of new houses?"

Oh. Oh.

"Shit," Minghao mutters, embarrassed. "I almost forgot about that. I'm sorry, love. It didn't occur to me because you said that you didn't want to have kids—"

"One time," you interject with a groan. "That was one time, Hao. God, can't a woman change her mind about wanting kids with her husband?"

He blinks. "But you said you'd be terrified."

"No, you said I'd be terrified. As an educated guess and to some extent, you're right. But it's not the having-a-kid part or the childbirth part that terrifies me, Hao." You let yourself breathe for a couple of seconds and it comes out shaky. Minghao has to resist the urge to reach out to embrace you.

"What terrifies me is becoming a mother."

The silence of the living room thickens when you say the words and Minghao feels his chest flutter with that same feeling from the first time he saw you cradling Seungcheol's daughter in your arms. Despite the questions swimming inside his head, your husband keeps his silence and lets you continue.

"Like, yeah, the pregnancy is going to be hell and god knows whether I'll even be alive after giving birth, but..." You hesitate, refusing to meet Minghao's eyes for reasons that elude him.

"Raising a child so they would grow up to become a good person is even more daunting to me... What if I accidentally teach them something wrong? What if they end up hating me because I can't keep up with whatever trends kids would come up with in a few years? What if they love you more than they love me?"

Minghao laughs airily. "Is that last part really a necessary measure?"

"It is," you insist before breathing out a laugh of your own. "Urgh, you get the point! It's just that... I'm not against having kids, but the responsibility that comes with raising one overwhelms me whenever I think about it."

"You know you're not in it alone, right? I'm your husband. Of course I'll be here to support you however I can," Minghao sighs before finishing the rest of his drink. "Whether you want kids or not, I'll go with either choice because I want what you want, yeah?"

"Yeah. I do know that. I think I've always known, but at the same time, I didn't want to tie you down," you murmur, tracing the handle of your mug with a small pout. "If we have a kid together, they might take up the time meant for your schedules. I never want to burden you like that..."

Your husband sets down his mug on the coffee table, carding his fingers through his hair with a disbelieving sigh. You were starting to fear that you might've annoyed him by accident, but when Minghao leans closer so that your eyes are leveled, you realize that is far from the case.

"Baby, our wedding rings are literally tattoos," he reminds you while reaching for your hand—pressing the inked fingers together. "I'm as tied down as I can be and you've never heard a peep out of me after all this time, yeah? So don't you ever think you or our future kids would be burdens to me."

Playfully, you raise an eyebrow at him. "Kids? Plural?"

"Hey, like I said—"

"Yeah, yeah, you want what I want," you interrupt with a roll of your eyes. "I get it Hao, you're a gentleman. But what if I told you I want you to fuck me on this couch right now and give me your kids?"

The wording is so crass that it could only be seen as a joke, except the reaction it incites from Minghao is leagues more intense than a mere joke would. The mental image injects a rush of corrosive want straight into his bloodstream and Minghao swears it makes him a little lightheaded.

Your husband lets out a shuddering sigh. quickly lunging after you to pluck the mug out of your grasp and safely place it on top of the coffee table. When you look up at him so prettily as he cages you on the couch, the sight makes his cock twitch with anticipation.

"Then I want that, too."

Logically speaking, you and Minghao can't just flip the switch and go into full babymaking mode after a heartfelt conversation and a bunch of impulsive decisions.

For one, you were still on birth control. It would take some time to wean yourself off it and you'd have to ask your doctor if it was safe to stop taking the pills at this point in your life.

Next was that Minghao and the rest of the guys are going to be preoccupied with their latest album—one where all thirteen men are back together after years of being separated. It'll go on for a couple of months and maybe a year if he's going to take their tour schedules into account.

And because he doesn't want to be absent in any milestone during your hypothesized child's life, you and your husband mutually decided not to actively try for a kid just yet.

But that doesn't mean you can't pretend.

"Fuck, baby, your cunt's gripping me so tight," Minghao groans, nearly hissing as he slides his cock against the velvety heat of your walls. "You want my load in you, pretty? You want to me to pump you full until it's dripping out of your pretty pussy?"

With coherence having long left your mind, you arch your back even higher as your husband continues to plough you into the mattress. "Y-Yes, yes yes! Hao, feels s-so fucking good!"

He chortles quietly and even with your cheek pressed against the sheets, you can still picture the smirk plastered on his face. "Pretty baby's in love with my cock. You just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"More," you whimper, the muscles of your pussy tightening around his length as he plunges in and out of your sopping entrance. "W-Want more, Hao. Need you to fuck me harder..."

Your husband is quick to comply with your wishes, gathering your hair with one hand while keeping your hips in place with the other. Minghao slams his hips brutally against yours, making stars dance in the seams of your vision as the head of his fat cock bullies its way into your leaking hole.

He's so deep, you can feel him prying your cervix open with a promise that you'll be filled to the brim if you behave tonight. And with all those years of being a professional dancer under his belt, it's no surprise that he's got enough stamina to wreck you more times than you can handle.

The first orgasm blindsides you completely. He'd just been whispering both sweet and filthy nothings into your ear when it washes over you like a tidal wave—inevitable, inescapable.

(Doing so fucking good for me, love. Taking my cock like a good, good wife. You'll take my cum just as well, won't you? Keep it inside so it'll take and you'll be swollen with my child. Then everybody will know you're mine.)

The second time it happens is mere seconds after Minghao's own orgasm. His thrusts have started to lose their practiced cadence and even if you've been in this situation countless times before, the euphoria that sings in your veins makes it feel like the first time all over again.

Minghao's cock twitches before his cum spurts in thick ropes inside your tight cunt—filling you with a warm sensation that has you biting down his neck to stifle your moans. The motion of his hips slows to a crawl as Minghao feels you clamp down on his length. Your pussy gushes around him with a delicious grip that brings him dangerously close to another orgasm with how good you feel around him.

"Fuck, baby," he swears, voice still hoarse with need despite the fact that he's fucking you into overflowing. "I love you. There's no one else I'd want to have a family with."

"T-There better not be," you say cheekily before Minghao is flipping you around so that you're lying on your back. The sensation of his cum dripping out of your ruined pussy makes your skin tingle with excitement, and the fact that his ravenous gaze is trained on your body isn't lost on you.

"Be a good wife for me and hold your thighs up," he whispers lowly and it takes you mere seconds to comply. "That's my girl."

You preen at his praise—no matter how pathetic it would make you seem. After all, if there's anyone who get reduced you into a cockdrunk mess, it's most certainly your husband.

Minghao doesn't waste any more time, he pumps his cock into full hardness for a few moments—refractory period be damned—before gliding the head of his cock against your slit. Your thighs twitch every time be brushes against your clit, making you cry out with desperation as he gloats at your misery.

"Minghao," you beg, trying your best to hold your thighs up just like he asked all while he's taking his sweet time admiring your pussy. "Fuck me more. Want you to fill me up even more."

"Needy little thing," he chuckles. "You want my kids that badly? If I fuck you too much, you might actually get pregnant, love."

"Don't care," you practically sob. "I want it. I want you. All of you—even your kids."

Fuck. He really, really fucking loves you.

Minghao needs little encouragement after that, gripping his cock tightly as he guides himself back inside you.

The new position makes it easier for your husband to pound into you—the weight of his thrusts pressing you into the bed with enough intensity to make the wooden enforcements of your bed groan from the effort he's exerting. He splits you open on his cock, spreading your folded thighs as far as he can as he drills inside of you with the promise of another load.

"So pretty and pliant for me," he whispers, pressing a soft kiss on your nose all while the squelch of your cunt with each pass of his cock echoes in the bedroom. "My perfect wife. You'll let me breed this pussy once all's said and done, won't you?"

You nod all too eagerly. "Yes, Hao! I'll let you use my pussy however you want. Just please make me come again!"

"So demanding," your husband sighs with a wicked smile as one of his hands trails between your legs. "Hold those thighs nice and open for me, love. You'll feel even better soon."

"W-Wait, I—"

Your protests quickly melt into a hiss of pleasure when Minghao applies ample pressure on your clit—lathering his fingers with your slick before tracing tight circles around the sensitive nub.

He knows you so well, been with you for so long, that Minghao already knows the ins and outs of your body. Your husband claims that making you come undone with his own fingers is a practiced art and that he'll never forget about it until the day he does.

So it's no surprise how quickly Minghao manages to make you unravel at the seams when he couples his intense thrusts with the added stimulus to your clit. You're creaming around his cock in no time—muffling your cries in the crook of your lover's neck as he fucks into you with the intention of filling you up even more.

"I love you," Minghao rasps as he tucks your head beneath his chin, pinpointing the height of his own pleasure. "I'll want no one else but you, baby. No one."

Shakily, through a haze of delirium, you manage to say, "I-I love you too, Hao. I'll always be yours as long as—f-fuck—you'll always be mine."

You twitch violently beneath the weight of Minghao's body and the sight of you so fucked dumb on his cock eventually pushes him over the edge. Your husband comes with a sharp breath, his white hot cum gushing into your pussy until it drips onto the sheets.

It's only when you've come down from that post-coital high that you realize Minghao is looking at you as if you hung up all the stars in the sky. You respond with a weak smack against his chest.

"Don't look at me like that," you grumble weakly. "I might think you're in love with me."

"Y/N, we're already married."

"I don't see how that's a problem."

As Minghao does the honors of cleaning you up after roughing you up all evening, you quickly realize that, really, there's no reason to be terrified at all.

Not when your husband will be by your side every step of the way.

⟢ end notes: i wrote this in a haze so if there are any technical writing errors, i implore you to just ignore them for my sake <3 happy birthday again to my soulmate, rj! i hope you enjoy your day to the fullest and i also hope you like this gift i wrote for you hehe ^\\\^ like hao to the reader, i'll always be w you every step of the way (i'm just a lil busy rn, so i hope you forgive me !!)

[byunpum]

Hi hope you're doing well 💗

Can i ask a one-shot with a shy reader who doesn't really show affection to neteyam. BUT one day she wants to make the first move so she kiss him without any warning. AND neteyam go FERAL bc it turn him one (or he can just be a blushing mess ) it can be smut or just fluff if you are okay with it ofc :)

Pairing: Neteyam x human reader

Tags: crushes, Cute, baby boii neteyam.

Warning:the characters have 20's

Note: As you know my drafts had been deleted. For example this one was going to be much longer. But still, I did what I could remembering what I had already written. I still hope you like it a lot. I didn't want to make this smut, because the next post …. get ready!!! buajajaja

AVATAR MASTERLIST

Neteyam's method of showing affection was hugs, touching and caressing. While on your part it was to turn red as a tomato every time neteyam came closer than a foot away. You had the biggest crush that could exist in all of pandora. And that's saying a lot. Loak was always making fun of your sketchbook that was full of sketches of neteyam, no matter what he was doing. You would sit far away and draw him. But you didn't get too close to him and you didn't talk to him much. While loak, kiri were very close to you, you kept your distance from neteyam. You thought that if you got too close, you would ruin everything.

On the other hand, neteyam thought you hated him. Yes… you hated him with all your soul and he knew it. Every time he tried to reach out to give you a hug. You would open your eyes wide and pull away. Or when they were playing with each other. It was truth or dare… and he chose dare. Spider dared him to give you a kiss. Neteyam got close to your face, he was excited… he saw your face turn red and you pushed him away. Getting up from your place and running out to your room. Everyone was silent, looking at each other. Neteyam was heartbroken, the boy was in love with you and you hated him.

But what bothered him the most was your closeness with loak. Why loak? i mean…the boy was not a good match for you. And yet you were more affectionate with him, it wasn't like you were on top of him all day. But if you let loak put his arm on your shoulder, or let him play with your hair a little bit. Or sit next to you. It was killing him, because he wanted to have that contact with you.

Neteyam had taken the day off, and decided to go to the small station that the humans had set up on one of the islets of the Metkayina clan, after the battles. Norm and several scientists were welcomed to the islands to help. And you were part of that group. "Hey…nete" greets norm as he sees the boy enter. "Hi norm…how are you?" neteyam greets politely. As he tried to look for you somewhere in the small lab. "Are you looking for Y/N?" says norm, teasing the boy a little. Neteyam laughs nervously. At that very moment you emerge from one of the storage rooms. You shift your gaze past neteyam.

"Y/n…h-hello!!!" says neteyam excitedly following a few steps behind you. His tail wagged back and forth, until you felt him tap you on the arm. "I'm so sorry" neteyam moved away a little bit. "Don't worry nete" you looked up to look at neteyam, you saw how excited he was. Maybe he was happy about something else. Norm walked over to you. "Y/N honey…please I need you to help me get some samples. I need you to bring me some leaves of this plant" Norm showed you a picture. "This plant grows in the forested area of this island" you take the tablet to look further into what you were going to look for. "Why doesn't Neteyam come with you?" says Norm, looking at Neteyam to give him a wink. Neteyam laughs a little but shifts his gaze so you don't spot them.

"Ahhh I don't know if…maybe" you say as you muddle over your words. "It's no problem…I'm free" neteyam almost screams with excitement. Once again his tail taps you on the arm, you nudge it a little. "Ready…well go then, I need them before nightfall" says norm, refocusing on his work. "Let's go neteyam" you say, taking the sample tube and handing it to neteyam to put in her waist bag. You stand a little quietly as you watch neteyam's hands slide down to his waist. He looks up to see how you are looking at him. "All good" the boy teases. "Yeah yeah come on" you push him a little. You could push him all day, if this was going to be the only form of contact with you, He was going to let you manhandle him all you want.

They walked a bit through the wooded area, you were in the front and neteyam was in the back enjoying the view. "hey why aren't you wearing the outfit I gave you?" asks neteyam following in your footsteps. "I've kept it…I haven't had a chance to wear it" you say. You hear neteyam chuckle a little, but you decide to ignore him. Sometime later you see the plant near a small waterfall, you walk over and sit down on one of the rocks. Neteyam sits down next to you, pulling out the sample tube. " wow…this plant is beautiful" you say, as you pluck several leaf samples.

"You say you can't use my gift…but look" neteyam touches the bracelet on your arm. "loak gave this to you last week and you are wearing it" spits neteyam waiting for you to react. " nete… this is a accessory, you gave me a complete navi outfit" you say trying to take the sample tube from his hands. Neteyam moves his hands away. "So? I made it myself for you…but it's okay. Everything I do sucks for you," Neteyam says. You remain silent, he just said that you think he disgusts you. "What the hell are you saying?" you say. Neteyam relaxes a little, you can see how frustrated he was.

"Why are you avoiding me…why don't you want me to be by your side? Even now…" neteyam takes the tube and then you watch as he takes your hand and places the object there in the palm of your hand. You didn't want to say anything, you didn't dare. You didn't have the courage to tell him that the only reason you didn't approach him was because you were a nervous wreck around him. You quickly took the samples, and started on your way to the lab. On the way back to the station, neither of you dared to speak. You arrived at the lab, entered and noticed how it was empty.

"He asks me for these samples and then disappears" you complain, as you place the tube of samples on norm's desk. You turn to see neteyam, he was sitting on a improvised couch that norm had created for the size of the avatars. "Neteyam… you don't disgust me" you say, causing the boy to look up. "Really?" the boy scoffs a little. You walk over to neteyam and sit down next to him. "Didn't you like my gift?" asks Neteyam. The boy looks at you, see how you avoid looking at him. "You see…you don't even want to look at me and " you get up from the couch, getting on your knees so you can reach neteyam's face in your hands. You pull him close and kiss him. Neteyam's eyes open wide. You pull away and sit quietly beside him.

Neteyam felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. His cheeks grew warm, as he broke out in a cold sweat. You had kissed him." I have a notebook dedicated only to you… and I don't come close because I don't know how to act around you" you say shyly. Before you begin to speak, you feel neteyam's lips collide with yours again. But this time you let your emotions fly and do what they have to do.

[ghouljams]

Thoughts:

Fae!Koenig is about the hunt and the wilderness and wild animals, right? And he loves claiming Leibling, right?

So, hear me out;

He's fucking Leibling, chest pressed against her back, panting and growling harshly as drool drips from his lips onto her shoulders.

His hands are clenched into fists on the bed/bench/whatever-surface-he's-managed-to-bend-her-over-this-time in front of her. Liebling can hardly breathe he's so deep.

And it feels so good. Better than normal, even. Something about the air getting hot and humid around them, she swears she can smell the forest and taste his musk.

His glamour is slipping, blurring her vision until all she can see is him, filling up every crack. And his Fae powers must be influencing her because she's never felt like this before. Feral. Animal. Wild.

He's muttering something now, pressed so firmly against her she swears they're melting together, his mouth - God, his mouth - moving against her ear. It's not English. But she doesn't think it's German, either. The syllables sound too fluid for human tongues, and yet as he babbles on she starts to parse some of it. Groaned praise. "You going to come for me?". "Going to give you everything." "Going to give you all of me,"

Something about that last phrase echoes in her mind like bells, but she can't focus on the concern because suddenly she's coming, and he's filling her up, flooding her with his hot, searing seed.

It's too much, she opens her mouth but can't muster any sound to come out. Instead, she twists her head, pulling away from him - if she were in her right mind she'd notice how unnatural the movement is, how a human body can't accommodate that kind of flexibility - and lunges forward.

Konig shouts, moans, and then howls, tapering off into a keen that she can feel vibrating against her tongue in his vocal chords as a second spurt of cum fills her. Her teeth are in his neck, something that should only barely be possible for a human, but impossible for whatever he is.

Whatever self control Konig uses to keep his form somewhat tangible snaps. His corporeal form melts away but she doesn't lose track of where he is. In fact it's the opposite, as her every senses are flooded with him.

Her delayed mind starts to catch up, registering the taste of something in her mouth and immediately questioning everything.

How was that possible?

Is he okay?

...Could they do that again?

But Konig seems too far gone to even care. As she tries to pull away his inconceivable form encompasses her senses to press her deeper, inciting another trickle of... fluid? Was it fluid? into her mouth. It was usually hard to focus on his true visage when he let it slip but for some reason this time she could parse it. Her brain occasionally translating whatever input it could into terms her human mind could understand, and she knew that his eyes - wherever they were - would be rolled into the back of his skull.

Fluid leaked into her from both ends and, seeing that Konig didn't seem hurt, she succumbed to the instincts and clamped her teeth down tighter. Konigs essence rutting into her in response. Clenching her jaw she shook her head to tear the seems she'd split into his being further apart, relishing in the way he welcomed it.

Idk just something about Konig being so desperate to be marked in turn. After whatever freaky shit manages to subside you just know he's not gonna shut up about his mark. Gonna be flaunting that shit like a diamond crown.

I'm in love with you.

You don't have the mind for it, the comprehension of everything fucked out of you so handily that thinking of anything but König is impossible. As if you'd want to, consumed as you are by him. He's never been this big before, never pressed so much fur against you, never threatened with such length claws. He's never filled you to the point you can't tell where he ends and you begin. You've never not been yourself. You don't think you are yourself.

You only exist in the wet twisting pleasure that König brings you, in the cock that hammers deep in your stomach, in the swish of König's tail and the click of his spines, in the deep rumbling purr that he tries to quiet you with. You're going to wake the whole forest like this, but... maybe that would be good. Let them see their king claiming his queen, filling you with him. Let them see the marks on you, the come that drips from your hole with each thrust of his cock, the way your eyes roll back in your head and you grasp uselessly at the ground.

Let them see you're really just as bad as him. Just as fuck drunk and stupid, biting every spec of him you can get your mouth on. And there's something so strange in the way your back bends like a green twig, the dirt and earth of the wild popping with tiny flowers and sprigs of grass, green bites of spring in the red and yellow foliage of fall. Your teeth feel sharper, itch in a way you're not used to. König's blood, which once had tasted so horrible, drips like nectar on your tongue, honeysuckle sweet.

He forces you back down to the earth, growls and groans, blood falling around your head and staining the dirt. You feel and he feels, too wrapped up in each other to care about the magic the swirls and digs its claws into you. You're König's and that's all that matters. You smile when he comes in you, another shot of his thick come filling you full and barely contained by his cock stretching you out.

It's a problem when you come out of your haze and König is still bleeding, looking terribly pleased with the solid imprint threatening his carotid. Jesus Christ you could have killed him, you sort of think you were trying to kill him. A praying mantis biting off the head of her mate.

The doctors at the ER ask too many questions.

[bruciemilf]

Factually, I know Bruce is a bad cook. In my wonderland brain, however, he's a baker in some Hell's Kitchen-esque neighborhood, both flourishing and festering down the Narrow's ribs.

Curiously, The Bat seems particularly focused on protecting this joint. And whoever walks in it.

The classic myth of food is that it brings people together; That's the one thing everyone, under the greyscale rainbow in Gotham, has in common. Everyone has to eat, and everyone has to die.

And all kinds of people walk in there.

You get thieves with watchful, observant eyes nemorizing the concise, expert movement of your fingers and wonder how these machines of pain and violance can be delicate enough for sweets.

"I know what you are. I know who you are."

"I'm not exactly hiding. "

" I'm gonna rob you now."

" Take some tuna for Iris while you're at it,"

You get jesters with runny make-up and busted lips and a heartbroken hope in their eyes, crying over their fried ice cream,

" I'm stupid. I know -- I know what he's doing to me. And my mom's voice is just pounding in my ear, every fuckin' day, ' You're letting him, Harley. You're letting him and you deserve it. You should've married that fucking doctor. At least he didn't hit you, he just yelled and screamed and called you nasty names.'

Bruce drizzles some extra rainbow sprinkles on her ice cream. " And that voice is wrong." And he'll keep saying that voice is wrong till the day Harley doesn't like ice cream anymore. And that day doesn't exist.

And slowly, you learn not to be impressed. When you live with wolves, you sharpen your teeth. Dogs do what dogs do; they eat. An angry dog is a hungry dog.

And this boy, with a red scarf over his nose, waving a gun in Bruce's face, is looking plenty angry.

"Just fucking stay there, okay?" He'd probably sound more threatening without the glass tremble in his voice. "I'm just gonna take some cash, and,--"

Bruce's calm is frosty; He's got experience with guns being pointed at his face. " Your safety's on. "

Teal eyes are glossy, shining with feral, living fear, like it's Bruce who has him cornered, backed up to a wall and looming death over him. there's no kids in crime alley.

Whatever they are, they can't afford that title. But he looks exactly how boys in crime alley look; Young and scared and haunted.

"What's your name, honey?"

"...Jason."

" Are you hungry, Jason?"

The way he wolfs down three plates with tears running down his cheek answers Bruce plenty.

"You can have the cash, " I don't really need it, goes unspoken. It already feels slimy enough to take it. The charities and well- filled cups of homeless people don't ease that. "I'm guessing you need it."

"It's for my dad," 'Dad' drips from Jason's lips like liquid hatred, " He told me to rob you cause you never call the cops."

" Calling criminals to stop other criminals seems a little counter-productive, " He needs to do something with his hands; Or he'll take Jason and hug him and drag him to the manor, where Alfred can prepare the fluffiest bed, and the warmest bath. So he's packing him something extra, to take at home.

Still. Hearing Jason laugh makes it worth it.

" You can say you got dinner, too."

" I'm not giving Willis shit, " Willis. One of Harvey's guns. They need a chat about working hazards. " Gonna take this to Dickie and Timmy, thought. Dick's gonna love this..."

And Jason, Bruce comes to find out, doesn't know himself half as good as he knows his siblings.

He learns Timmy, the baby brother, loves to skate, and he's the reason they go to the ER every other Thursday. He learns Dick can never run out of energy; Learns he's running on spite alone and they can't go a day without fighting.

And when Bruce is fighting Nightwing, the newest villain in Gotham, he learns both he and Dick can land the meanest Produnova recorded.

[rafferty3207]

omg I'm the anon who requested the jamie x reader neighbours fic and boy you delivered! fucking love it! can't wait for part 2

This is so lovely anon, I'm so glad you liked it!!! For you, I will deliver a part two with the caveat that I'm so sorry I got carried away and now it will be in three parts (sorry again), but the last part will be the finale!!! Anyway I present to you:

Too Good to Be True (part two)

read part one here

warnings: allusions to abuse, mention of anxiety/panic attack, daddy issues, two hopeless idiots flirting, a bit of angst at the end but worth it (sorry again)

A/N: I have nothing to add except this gif is not mine and has turned me feral

It’s been several days since you left your phone number and you are nervous. 

You don’t get why you care so much.

It’s just Jamie, your annoying neighbour. Your annoying, but also extremely handsome neighbour. Your annoying, handsome neighbour who massaged your feet, and your legs, and almost your thighs and god you couldn’t think straight. You’d been able to get nothing done as you had spent the last few days just constantly replaying that evening in your head. And to make things worse, it turns out Annoying Handsome Jamie was in fact a very famous Premier League footballer. Who has also been caught having sex on TV. (Yes, you had binged the entirety of his Lust Conquers All series since that night, but that was neither her nor there.) 

After almost a week you had given up. The exhibition was just under two weeks away and you hadn’t seen him in the garden or outside the house at all. He had probably come to the conclusion that you were both too weird and too normal for him and the only conclusion was move on with your life and forget his stupid sexy face ever existed, when you got a text. 

u free tonight

Jxoxo

Of course, you wanted to play it cool. After all, you had spent the entirety of the week waiting for this message.

29 minutes and 59 seconds later.

I might be.

The phone immediately pings.

do u not know??

xoxo

Depends, what are you thinking?

thought u wanted a model

Xoxo

Of course, he was thinking about the painting. As you also definitely were. You were a professional artist. Almost.

What time?

ill come after the match

You spend your evening preparing and also perhaps figuring out an outfit that says 'casual bohemian artist that definitely doesn't care' while redoing your makeup twice. However, as the hours stretch on and on and on you are at the point of giving up and going to bed, when the doorbell finally rings.

You race down, before waiting a minute, quickly checking yourself in the mirror and pulling out your phone to pretend you had already been looking at something when you open the door.

But before you can pull the casual act, he walks right past you.

“Hello to you too, Jamie.”

He strides into your living room where the canvas is set up and immediately starts taking his clothes off.

“Woah, what do you think you’re doing there?”

“Er, I thought you were painting nudes?”

“Er no-”  At this point his shirt has already come off and he’s starting to unbutton his trousers. Of course he is very toned, with tanned arms and neck where his football shirt has been. You feel the breath knocked out of your body, glimpsing the very top of his boxers as you struggle for words.. He looks at you confused. Eventually you stutter an answer. "K-Keep the trousers on, okay?” 

“What should I do then?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do I pose, like?” You shrug.

“However you want to, Jamie.”

“I dunno what I want.” You sigh.

“You just need to stand there and look pretty.”

“Well I do that all the time, so.”

“Great. So just…keep doing that.”

Jamie smiles to himself.

“What is it?”

“So you do think I’m pretty?” He smirks at you. You fold your arms.

“What are you, a sixteen year old girl Jamie?” You start sketching. “Besides, you know what you look like.” You go back to drawing in silence. You swear you see his cheeks dust pink for a second before he ouffs his chest back out and smiles.

“Aren’t you going to ask if I think you’re pretty?”

You freeze.

“No, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m not sixteen. I am an adult woman and I don’t need random men for unsolicited affirmation, no matter how pretty they are.”

Jamie opens his mouth, before closing it again. Maybe that was a bit harsh, but what else could you say? Tell me how pretty you think I am Jamie. Or better yet, show me. I’m dying to know. You could practically feel the feminism leaving your body.

You dismiss these thoughts and get back to sketching. You can see Jamie is looking down and acting fidgety, swinging his arms.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake.” You walk over and plant your arms on his shoulders. He is surprisingly warm and firm to the touch, and you try not to blush. “Is it okay if I move you?”

He nods, surprisingly quiet. You turn him ever so slightly, before gently pushing him down onto your stool. As you move one of his (very muscly) arms, you swear you feel a slight tremor. Was he shaking? You step a little closer, a hand on his back. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Jamie.”

His face hardens.

“But I said I will, so I will.”

“But you don’t have to. Only do this if you want to.” You smile at him, and his face softens again.

“I do want to, trust me. It’s just been a long day.”

“Okay, but if you need to stop or take a break, just say the word.”

You step back to your canvas. You try to focus solely on the drawing, but every time he looks at you, you find your whole body heating up. Despite this, you steal glances anyway. He stares at you constantly, in a way that makes you feel stupid and giggly. Observing all the soft and hard lines of his body, you eventually start to notice small scars all over his body until you reach his hands. You don’t know why it took you so long to notice, but his knuckles are slightly bruised.

“Jamie?”

“Yeah?” 

“Tell me about your day.”

“Why? It was dead boring.”

“I don’t know. I find it helps me find the right mood.” You prepare your brushes. “You know, it tells me what colours to use.”

“Oh. I mean, nothing much happened.” He looks down at his feet. “I got up, went to play football, came here.”

“But why did you text me? Why today?”

“I dunno.” You sit in silence for a moment, as you mix the colours. “I mean, my dad came to the match.”

“Right.”

“Pulled his usual shit.”

“Usual shit?”

“Just being a complete dickhead.” You start painting. 

“In what way?”

“Saying stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Just the usual stuff.”

“You keep saying “usual” Jamie. I don’t think whatever he said is usual for most people.”

“What about your dad? He said that thing about you being a teacher right? Because you couldn’t paint or summat?” You put your brush down. 

“Yeah he did say that. He says a lot of shit, none of which I would consider usual. Or at least it shouldn’t be.” You step off your chair and towards Jamie, reaching gently for his hand. “We don’t just have to take this shit, you know.”

“I don’t fucking take it!” He pulls away. You flinch back. He looks alarmed as he realises. “I should go.” He starts to walk out.

“Jamie, I didn’t mean to upset you -” You walk after him as he paces towards the door. He halts at the entrance.

“I’m not upset,  I just - I came here because I didn’t want to think about my dad. When I’m with you, I never think about him. Or anything else, really.” He pauses. “I’m sorry.” Before you can reply, he runs off. 

The next few days pass by. You send a few texts to Jamie, but no reply. The exhibition is only a couple of days away now, so you try to keep yourself busy. But his words won’t stop swirling in your head to the point you struggle to sleep. So you do what you always do: paint. 

It’s not until one of these nights when you're up late at the canvas that you glance out of the window. Your heart stops. Someone is lying in Jamie's garden, very still. You dare to look closer. Is that..Jamie? He looks glassy eyed. He can't have...Without thinking, you run down.

"Jamie! Jamie!" Your heart is thumping in your ears so loudly you can't hear anything else. "Jamie are you okay?" You ask as you scramble to climb the fence. However just as you are almost over, you catch your foot, spectacularly falling over it into the bushes.  You hear that trademark laugh.

"Why are you laughing? I thought you were dead, dipshit!" You say, crawling out of the shrubbery. 

He remains lying down but he’s smiling at you now.

"Why would you think I was dead?"

"Why are you lying in your garden on your back completely still at 2am? Let's not pretend this is normal." You crawl down next to him.

“You’re going to think I’m stupid.”

“No I won’t.”

He looks away from you.

“I mean everyone else does, why wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t think they do.”

“There’s my dad. Plus, I’ve read Twitter.”

“You know how I feel about your dad and Twitter is full of very stupid people. But never mind them. I can promise you I don’t. And let’s be honest, I’m the only opinion that matters.” He scoffs as you offer him a pinky. But, he puts his pinky in yours before looking back up at the night sky.

"I can't get up."

"What? Are you injured?"

“No…I dunno, I told you it was stupid."

“It's clearly not that stupid. Are you okay Jamie?”

"I dunno. I was thinking about the other night with you and my dad and then I came outside because I needed some fresh air and then I lay down and started thinking about everything and now it feels like I'm stuck here. It's stupid -"

“Stop saying that.” You lie down and grab his hand. “Sometimes when you've gone through some shit, it comes out of your body in weird ways. But you're okay. We can stay here for as long as you like, but when we get up, you will be able to.”

He nods, and the two of you lie there holding hands in silence. You take some deep breaths and he follows. Eventually a small voice pipes up.

“I think I can go in now.”

You sit up and slowly pull him.

"See?"

He smiles at you gingerly before he looks down.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Huh?”

You look down. Both your knees are cut, along with one of your palms and your wrist.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” 

He gently holds your wrist up to the light. He looks sad.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I need to work on my graceful dismount. Either that or just walk around to the back door.”

“I mean, I dunno, I think you could give Simone Biles a run for her money.” You swat him.

“Oi, you cheeky shit! Next time I’ll just leave you for dead.”

“I think the blood loss is going to your head, we should treat that ASAP.” He leads you into his house. “I think I’ve got a first aid kit upstairs.”

He starts walking up and you follow him. He seems surprised. You realise your error.

“Oh, I can wait downstairs if you like.”

“Er, no, it’s fine.” He steps into a bedroom and starts rummaging around in what is clearly an ensuite bathroom. You sit on the edge of his bed and look around. There’s pictures of him and his mum, as well as some pictures with the team and one with a slightly older moustachioed man.

“Is that your dad?”

He pokes his head out and laughs. 

“No, that’s our coach Ted.” You look up at him. “He’s a nice guy though. Annoyingly nice. Almost too nice, if you know what I mean.”

“Right.” It was clear Jamie was soft on this man, but you wouldn’t push it today. He sits down and starts gently wiping the cuts. It is the same tenderness he held your foot, and it is the same tenderness that is slowly melting your heart. If you didn’t know any better, you would think you were starting to fall for Jamie Tartt.

You yawn as he applies the final plaster. “Right, you need to go to sleep.” He says, through his own yawn.

"I could say the same for you"

You sit up to leave, but hesitate. YOu feel Jamie’s about to say something.

“Hey, I don’t suppose.. You’d maybe fancy…”

You turn around.

“Staying around?”

Jamie looks at you pleadingly.

“No funny business I promise.” He looks up and offers you a pinky.

“What if I want funny business?”

“Eh?”

“I’m just messing with you Jamie. Besides, I’ve already stolen your knickers anyway.”

“Someone told me that’s a weird thing to say to people.”

“Well, that person sounds very wise.” You look around. “Can I use your bathroom?”

He gestures towards it and you go in. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you think: what the fuck is going on here? You splash some water on your face and tell yourself to get a grip.

“There’s a spare toothbrush in the blue pot if you need it.” Jamie calls through the door.

“Ew gross Jamie, I don’t want to use one of your many girlfriend’s toothbrushes!”

“I’ll have you know that’s brand new as I don’t have any girlfriends at the moment. Although there are sanitary towels if you need them love.”

“Piss off you patronising git!”

“‘Ey, I was trying to be nice and a good feminist and that.”

You brush your teeth before coming out and leaning against the doorframe.

“No girlfriends? What happened to the Island’s top scorer?”

He groans before flopping back onto the bed.

“I thought you didn’t know who I was.”

“I’ve been doing my research.” You get into the bed next to him. He flashes you a dirty grin.

“Bet you have, you little perv.”

“Me? The perv? What you did in that jacuzzi was a crime to my eyes, and probably in several countries.”  

“Woah, you have been doing your research - that was like episode 42? 43?”

“What can I say, you make good television?”

Jamie pulls the duvet back before hovering for a moment. 

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” He gestures to the bed.

“I know. But I’ve been in your position before, and I really needed a friend back then. And I think you would do the same.”

“Any time.”

You squeeze his hand.

“Now go to sleep, you menace.”

“Aye aye captain.”

____

You wake up and find yourself once again not in your own bedroom. In fact, not only are you not in your own bedroom, but you appear to be cuddling Jamie Tartt. You panic silently. Your leg is swung over his, while his arm is draped over you. You try to move, but still asleep, he squeezes you a little tighter. And then something really surprising happens.

He kisses you. Just a little kiss on the forehead, but your chest is fluttering.  You hate to admit it but, it feels just so natural. You’re so content and relaxed in his arms then…

Fuck. You fell back asleep. You’re in the exact same problem as before.

This time however, you are both awoken by Jamie’s phone going off. He reaches to switch it off, eyes still closed, but then it rings again. And again. The third time his eyes shoot open.

“Shit!”

“What is it?” You ask from behind bleary eyes.

“The match!”

You slowly sit up and watch him run around and get dressed, silently handing him things on occasion. He runs downstairs and you plod along after him, still half asleep. He runs out of the door, before abruptly stopping and turning around.

“Aren’t you going to wish me good luck or something?”

You wrinkle your nose at him in confusion.

“I don’t need to. You’re going to smash it anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

You shrug and smile. 

“I just know.”

At this point, he strides right up to you, before cupping your face in both his hands. 

“Jamie what are -” Before you can finish, he kisses you, hard. Your eyes flutter closed and you melt into the kiss, before he pulls away, but only just. His arm reaches around the small of your back and his forehead touching yours, he whispers.

“Wait for me.”

He runs off to his car, and you stroke your bottom lip, where you trace the swell of where he used to be.

Your heart is still pounding and you are unsure what to do with yourself, so you try to make yourself at home. You take a very long, hot shower before getting changed. Of course, you didn’t have any clothes here, so you find some pyjama shorts along with one of Jamie’s old jerseys.

You sit down to watch the match. You had never really gotten into football, but now you were glued to the screen. You couldn’t believe that the little Jamie on screen was the same one who shared a bed with you last night. And the same Jamie that kissed you…

The game is electric, and Jamie in particular is the standout player. Even the commentators remark on his zest this match as he keeps skilfully weaving through the players to lead Richmond into not one, not two but three goals.

Once the match is done, you watch, still glued to your seat when Jamie is invited to an interview.

“Jamie the way you played today was extraordinary, against Man City too. If you don’t mind us asking, what happened?”

“Ah well, I was really inspired by Simone Biles. She’s honestly changed my life.” At that moment, he turns straight to the camera, grins and winks, and you feel like he’s somehow winking right at you. Your heart skips a beat. You were really in trouble.

You look at your phone and Jamie Tartt is trending. Simone Biles herself has already tweeted reminding everyone she is a married woman and has never met Jamie. There are plenty of other women, including some famous other gymnasts and celebrities offering their Biles-like services to Jamie in some rather explicit tweets. You wonder if Jamie reads these ones too.

You walk to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea and as you wait for the kettle to boil, you look at Jamie’s calendar. There’s all sorts of notes, primarily training and matchs but you notice your exhibit is there too, with a little heart drawn around it. Jamie never stopped surprising you. But then a cold shock goes down your spine. You remembered today’s date. You are meant to be going to the gallery this evening to plan the exhibition. Shit. You check the time. You’ve still got three hours left, but you need to get back into your flat ASAP. You scramble around before realising that you had left your phone in the flat last night in the chaos to get out. But you also remembered Jamie and what he had said.

Wait for me.

You write a little note and stick it on the fridge.

____

Jamie comes back way later than he planned. Of course, after the match, there were drinks and celebrations but he couldn’t concentrate on them, just trying to leave to get back to you. He finally manages to break away, but when he gets home, he finds the living room empty. He searches around the rest of the house, and you are nowhere to be found. He checks his phone. No messages. He gets a message through from Keeley about how he’s trending online. 

Of course he sees all the Simone Biles stuff and smiles to himself. He made a note to send Simone Biles a message in future, if this all worked out. Then he sees all the stuff other women are saying online. A lot of it is quite graphic and he wondered what you’d think. He imagined the two of you laughing together at them. Then he sees. The tabloids are already speculating. Not only do they actually think he’s having an affair with Simone Biles, but they have already posted some paparazzi shot of him with Keeley, along with long extensive timelines of his tumultuous dating history. His stomach drops. Anyone would run away if they saw this much baggage.

He tries to ring you. Once, twice, three times, No pick up. He’s desperate and pacing, until he realises he can just walk over to your front door. He rings the bell several times, before loudly knocking. Still nothing.

He can’t believe how much he’s fucked it. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed you, but he couldn't help it. No one had made him feel like this, like he was going crazy but also that he was calmer than he had ever been, like riding a lifeboat in the centre of the storm. As he walks back into his flat and into his kitchen, he doesn’t see the small corner of a note that has fallen under the fridge. He checks his phone again. 

Still nothing. What could he do?

____

Sorry for the angst kids, hope it was worth it and the finale will be juicy!! lmk if you want to be tagged in the final part!! Not sure if I've done these tags right, apols if not!!

@skewedcherries @e-mmygrey @reading-blogs @alex-sulli @cameoutstruggling93 @sqrlgrl22 @maydayfigment @aiyaiy @alipap3 @okkkkkkksure @city-of-cards

[y-rhywbeth2]

So glancing between the original games and the third - again - and thinking about the difference between the feral and Chosen bad endings and how I'm going to interpret them in my own canon. BG3 lore is irrelevant to me from now on I'm entering the phase where I'm assimilating my playthrough into my own Realms canon.

Also, Durge appears to be soulless. I am aware of the way the game treats Durge as though they have a soul, but BG3 makes strange choices where lore doesn't match up all the damn time. Astarion is clinically dead but the rest mechanics still need food. BG3 talks like Wyll is a devil, and they definitely don't have mortal souls. Dark Urge identity crises and complicated relationship with personhood, how I love thee.

Major BG2 spoilers, so I'll put that under a cut just in case anybody would like to play those games blind.

I noticed this a while back, but Durge's situation is reminiscent of a soulless Bhaalspawn. When their soul - the portion of them that is "them" and not entirely Bhaal - is removed they start displaying the same symptoms and slipping into what is basically the feral ending, judging by Imoen's behaviour:

"Who-who... who is that? Keep back... Keep back! [...] Who is Imoen? I don't know that name. I don't know that name! She's not here! [...] Get away from me! I'll... I'll kill you! I'll rip your eyes from your filthy faces! Do not tempt my wrath! Do not... I... she's not here. I do not know that... name. [...] I see... yes... I see... She's not here... Someone else will come..."

We have dizzy spells and risks of blackouts (otherwise known as Bhaal threatening to take over):

"Your step falters, your vision spins, and you feel something is very wrong. For an instant you are conscious of nothing but the rushing of your blood."

Bhaal literally just assuming direct control rather than flooding you with the urge to murder. Also pain caused by said attempt at taking control:

"A shock of pain passes through your body, and you feel you mind slipping away, forced aside by the darkness within." - "Your blood cools, and mind and body are reunited under your control. Your will had faltered, and the essence of Bhaal was there to take advantage. The void where your soul once was overflowed with murderous fury, the mark of a deity that no longer exists. The taint of Bhaal has affected you differently than Imoen, reacting with your strength of will. You will eventually lose yourself unless your stolen soul is restored. A fate, as they say, worse than death." - "The madness fades, and the essence retreats, but if this continues you will lose not only yourself , but also everything you hold dear. The uncertainty of your condition has obviously worried those you travel with. The quest is treacherous enough without having to worry about what you might do."

Most Bhaalspawn have mortal lineage and were left to develop their own identities until they hit adulthood and Bhaal decided it was time to start pushing them into killing each other as part of the resurrection plan. Their souls are explicitly divine in nature, but they had time and freedom to develop those souls. Each demigod is a potential fledgling god.

The soul and the conscious mind aren't the same thing, so personality and decision making can continue but the emotions and personhood are... not quite there, only the echoes of it. It's been compared to wearing a mask and acting out a part in a play, rather than actually living as that person.

Durge it seems was engineered from the very beginning so that they would never have that chance. Created directly from Bhaal, with no other parent (let alone a mortal one) to dilute him; Bhaal started forcing their hand to kill from a far younger age (before puberty) rather than waiting for them to reach adulthood. and Sceleritas was following them closely ensuring that people would be around to have "accidents", like Alfira.

But it's also notable that Bhaal doesn't just want a puppet, he needs a Bhaalspawn with the drive and power to be his avatar. He somehow needs Durge blindly loyal and lacking in independence but also in possession of "strength of will" to be worthy of/able to house and use his power.

It seems that Durge does not have a soul the way their siblings do, all they have to resist Bhaal with is their mind and sheer willpower. If they disappoint Bhaal then he will simply assume control - something he can do any time he likes. Over the course of BG3 they start developing something like their own soul - judging by the way Bhaal and Sceleritas are still in touch and seemingly testing them, I can only assume this is actually according to plan; Durge is supposed to cultivate a spark of their own divine soul over the journey (and also get tadpoled and help Bhaal take over the Netherbrain and thralls through them, as Sceleritas kind of mentions).

If they fail then Bhaal goes for the feral ending; they go into the "Imoen" category where they're not worthy of his attention and he just uses Durge as a puppet.

Mystra can't force mortals to become her Chosen, they must consent, so possibly that rule applies to Bhaal too? I don't know, but it explains why Bhaal needs them to accept. If they resist then they're clearly strong enough to be worthy but wilful enough that Bhaal decides the risk of that spark of a soul is too great a risk to him and his plans and tries to destroy it but fails because it's too late, and Jergal cuts this fledgling divine soul free.

If they accept becoming Chosen then they are agreeing to be imbued with a fragment of Bhaal's divine essence. Bhaal gets what he wants and merges it with another fragment of his divine essence, presumably setting the stage for him to become a full deity walking the face Toril through Durge's/his body. The fledgling spark of individual is lost in Bhaal when the two fuse; the threat of the resist ending isn't present, because that spark is gone, so if you defy him again he just takes over and we get the punishment ending.

[lxvebun]

heart-shaped kisses. Ace Trappola

buns notes: not caught up on the story at all, im at chapter 4 lol, but....ace💕 this was supposed to be a multi fic but then ace took over and I let him.

synopsis: Ace x gender neutral reader. Fluff. Bestfriends to lovers. Kissing of course. Me going feral. Ace being a lovesick fool. Tiny bit of possessive language. Reader is described as pretty, cute, beautiful because you are >:). English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes<3 first twst fic!

All heart shaped kisses fics (multi)

He shouldn't be looking at you like this, you're his best friend, but god, It should be illegal, looking so cute and pretty the way you do. Making his heart flutter in his chest and his mind fog up with hearts and flowers. he's not sure when the feelings of platonic love shifted to something more than that, or perhaps it's always been this way and he is just now noticing, but with every passing day, the urge to pull you into him and kiss you to his heart's content becomes stronger

Ace is usually quite blunt and speaks his mind without a second thought,(and that may or may not work in his favor), but lately, while his feelings for you have been getting stronger, he's stuttering over his words, and he has a permanent headache from figuring out how to talk to you "normally" without him accidentally blurting out how madly in love he is with you.

And boy, do you like to make it difficult for him. There was this one time where you tried on his Heartslabyul jacket, before showing him a little twirl and asking him how you look, with the most precious smile on your face and his jacket covering you.....are you trying to kill him? Cause he was pretty sure his heart was about to soar out of his chest. He had to bite his tongue to keep him from saying out loud that you looked beautiful, stunning, his. You looked like you were his :(<3

It's not long before he reaches his breaking point. Not only because he can't stand the headache and food doesn't taste quite as nice when your tongue is completely sore from biting down on it, but it's the small, breathtaking things about you that make it impossible to keep silent any longer.

Like the way the sunlight bleeds into your eyes, and your smile that shines brighter than the stars, he gives in, and so do you. Ace is not exactly the most subtle person in existence. You caught the way his eyes keep drifting to your lips, how it seems there is a permanent blush covering his cheeks, or how he starts to stutter when you come closer, you just waited for him to make the move, to finally confess and kiss you as both of you have wanted for so long.

And oh his kisses are so sugary sweet and precious, it's inevitable you become addicted to them. a totally different side of him shows up when your lips meet his. they are as sweet as they are careful, it's as if he's trying to map out all the spots that make you melt into him and your heart beat a little faster. Just like his does every time you're near him. he could kiss you forever if he had it his way<3

Thank you for reading angels!<3

[thottybrucewayne]

Hi, new follower who asked about Talia a few days ago here. I don't know if you want to talk about dc, so feel free to ignore this. But can I say just how blatantly racist it is that Damian being trained at all, even in the runs where he isn't abused/tortured, is so bad from the Al Ghul's, but Batman does the same shit.

Bruce took in a traumatized child and taught him how to fight, then had him fighting grown ass adults and murderers and the literal Joker. They're regularly shot at as Robins by people who fully intend to kill them, but the Al Ghuls are the ones going too far.

I definitely think you're onto something here. Like, Damian being trained at such a young age is out of character for Talia IMO. The Talia who lied to Bruce about miscarrying to stop him from putting his life on the line to protect her and the baby, then sent that baby to a safe place to protect him is not the same Talia who had Damian trained to fight at like 6. (racist ass character assassination and its consequences) and him being trained to fight at such a young age is meant to show us the "brutality of the Al Ghuls" in contrast to Robin training which is "safer" because...reasons, there a lot to unpack there that I feel like certain writers and editors would rather not address... Like on the very surface level we know the answer is "These are Batman books, Robin is a popular Batman character, we're meant to suspend our disbelief because it's comics and kid superheroes are fun for kids to read." But on a "These comics are written, drawn, colored, and edited by very real people with clear racist/xenophobic tendencies" level, I feel like there was an unconscious push to write these very...white man's burden-esque comparisons between the Al Ghuls and Bruce to show Bruce in a better light because, in any other context, Bruce would be the bad guy. Just thinking of the way earlier comics paint Damian's behavior as "feral" and "bloodthirsty" even when he and Tim were shown to be pretty much going back and forth with bullying each other in a way I would describe as an extreme depiction of sibling rivalry, there was always this unspoken feeling of "Damian is a wild child because he was raised by his backward, wrongminded mother and grandfather" which we don't get with Tim. After all, Tim is white so none of his behavior carries the same weight (which is why I think the fandom defaulted to painting Tim as some sort of poor wilting flower who can't defend himself against a 10-year-old even though we literally saw him going tit for tat with said 10 year old, just petty as he wanna be but I digress) TLDL; While I personally love Robin as a concept and like Damian as a character, until the very weird and racist double standard that exists in how his time with his mother is depicted and the time with his father is depicted is addressed (I don't mean in that weak ass Damian tells his parents they're equally fucked up way either because to me that feels like a cop-out that doesn't fully address why people have an issue with Damian's upbringing and how it paints Talia), Damian's time as Robin will always make me feel some type of way. Idk if any of that made sense, I'm still really tired. Thanks for the question tho <3

[siswritesyanderes]

Question for you!😁 Which Yandere marvel characters do you think would want/make their darling age regress? Because I see a lot of Yanderes who would want them to depend on them but which characters (even if it varies from era to era) would take it a step further. Even just to treat their darling like a teenager, I think a lot of them would and I’m curious who all you think would most likely? I love your writing and I hope you have a great day!

It's funny you should mention this, because I was recently imagining a situation where a lot of Marvel heroes (and maybe non-heroes) have a get-together and bring their age-regressed, abducted darlings. Like a party of the forced agere yanderes.

(This is outside the canon of "Safe Because I'm With the Apex Predator.")

Druig and Makkari's darling is by far the best-behaved; everyone compliments them on how well-behaved their darling is. Dressed in brightly-colored overalls and knee socks, their hair is neat (which can't be said for a lot of the darlings; they get unkempt when they physically struggle), they greet the other yanderes with a smile when asked, and they say "Yes, Daddy," and "Yes, Mommy," and the like, every time they speak to Druig and Makkari. They don't use any words that a seven-year-old couldn't.

It's clear from the look in the darling's eyes that they haven't caved under the mental stress of their abduction; there's still an awareness there. Occasionally even hostility. But they behave themself, because if they didn't do so by choice, Druig would just make them anyway. So many of the yanderes are lowkey jealous, not just of this darling's good behavior, but of the general vibe of mutual understanding that exists between them and Drukkari. When all the other darlings are going to a "play room", so the "grown ups" can talk in private, this darling calmly asks, "Mommy, can I bring my food with me?"

Makkari answers, "Yes," and kisses them on the forehead before they go.

Meanwhile, Thena and Gilgamesh's darling is absolutely feral. (Or, as one of the other yanderes politely says, "very rambunctious!") Darling's on a leash, and Darling's trying to chew through the leash. They're dressed in a form-fitting toddler onesie and mittens that make it hard to hold anything. They aren't trusted to feed themself, so Gilgamesh feeds them while Thena leads them around on the leash. When Gilgamesh greets people amicably, and Thena greets people with her aloof smile, their darling glares at whoever they're directed to greet and mumbles a grudging "hello".

None of them are embarrassed about this. Thena is amused and enjoys the friction, and Gilgamesh is chill. Looking at all the other captives, darling demands, "How come they're not on a leash?"

Gilgamesh chuckles, "Because you're still biting yours."

Repeatedly, this darling tries to run for it, and Thena nonchalantly reels them back with a firm tug, not even pausing her conversation with the other guests.

Sam and Bucky's darling is shyly clinging to Sam's side. They don't have to say hi to anyone, because Sam and Bucky both enjoy the fact that they don't want to. "They're shy," Bucky says, and Sam pats their head fondly. They're dressed like a very fashionable five-year-old: everything matches, and they have very snazzy tennis shoes. Bucky and Sam are asked where they bought that shirt, those shorts, that cloth cap.

While darling doesn't talk to or look at the other yanderes, they're fascinated with the other darlings. They're kind of scared of the struggling ones, but their eyes are drawn to something brightly colored: Druig and Makkari's darling. Pretty...And they look friendly... Darling accidentally makes eye contact with Druig, who raises an unimpressed (almost challenging) eyebrow, and they quickly look away. When Sam and Bucky eventually run into Druig and Makkari and start making small talk, darling keeps their face buried in Sam's shoulder, so that only one eye can see the colorful darling who's now staring right back at them, curiously.

"Hi," Drukkari's darling says. They're allowed to carry their own plate!

Sambucky's darling waves hello but does not leave the safety of Sam's side.

The Guardians of the Galaxy were not invited to the party, but they showed up anyway. Their darling is as rough-edged as you'd expect from someone who has to trade barbs with Rocket Raccoon on the daily. They're dressed in an outfit composed of articles that have each been scavenged separately. (And an anklet of what looks like braided wood but is really a part of Groot's body, which can at any time grow roots into the ground, preventing them from walking.)

Rather than sticking by their yanderes (like most if not all of the other darlings do, if not by choice then by force), this darling pretty much runs rampant through the room, sneaking food from the banquet tables and making an honest effort to quietly steal a sling ring from Dr. Strange. Occasionally, Rocket or Nebula or Quill shouts at them from across the room to put something down or otherwise stop doing what they're doing. Groot, in the role of the older sibling, sometimes goes to herd them back.

"In what way is that age regression, and not just kidnapping?" Strange asks.

"Oh, that?" Quill says. "They're just going through a rebellious phase. Groot did the same stuff."

Separately, Nebula muses to someone, "With a father as cruel as Thanos, I never believed myself to have much of a...nurturing side. But ever since we found- GET DOWN FROM THERE, OR I WILL THROW YOU THROUGH THE WALL!" she suddenly bellows.

"Up yours!" their darling shouts back.

"It's nice to be a mom," Nebula continues solemnly.

(Thenamesh's darling tries to convince them to cut their leash.)

Eventually, Mantis puts them to sleep, and Drax spends the rest of the party with them casually slung over his shoulder.

The Guardians are still probably asked to leave.

Dr. Strange's darling is behaving themself, but they have an attitude. They're terse, with their lips in a sour twist that clearly conveys that they would not be here were it not for their magical captor and his ability to appear anywhere they could think to run. Their clothes are impeccable (and have the look of a boarding school uniform), but their hair is messy, suggesting they did not intend for Stephen to have an easy time getting them here.

This darling is simultaneously annoyed by the darlings who make a spectacle of their attempts to defy their yanderes and disgusted by the darlings who obey too well. The way Sambucky's darling is coddled and doted on is unbearably cloying, but Drukkari's darling being allowed to hold their own plate just absolutely grinds their gears, because Strange's darling isn't allowed to do or have anything, without Strange acting as the middle man. They have to politely ask for each bite of food, politely ask for any book or activity they might use to entertain themself, politely ask to go to the bathroom...And Strange really would let them wet themself, if they didn't ask politely enough.

They drag their feet, when Strange walks over to Druig and Makkari and the golden darling themself. They cross their arms tightly, as Strange chats with the Eternals and Drukkari’s darling meets their glower with a look they can't help reading as supercilious.

Strange's darling refuses to greet Drukkari's darling, and they don't consciously register that their unreasonable animosity toward their fellow abductees signifies a great deterioration in their emotional intelligence.

---

(I can think of more, but this post is getting long, and I'm not sure how interesting it is to other people, lol.)

[deusvervewrites]

Saiyan: so, Tsu is potentially kidnapped by her evil siblings, Izuku is kidnapped by Ashido (unwilling on her part), how would the equivalent of kamino go here?

Also, can I just say, I have the image of Izuku, after being released from the ECW and restrained by Garaki, finding out about Ashido's whole situation, and then forgiving her with no hesitation, providing the thing she needs to stand up to Garaki and fight back.

Much like Ojiro and magic, I've been sitting on this one for a little bit.

Something tells me you're not going to like the answer.

So to recap, Ashido has captured Midoriya, and Asui's siblings have nabbed her as well, for personal reasons unrelated to Garaki's plan.

See, Garaki wanted Midoriya as bait for Inko, and it worked. She and All Might, plus other Heroes, stormed the Kamino base much like canon. But it wasn't the League waiting for them. It was Ashido, who was already crying by the time they came in.

Ashido, who Garaki had already ordered to absorb them.

It's subtle, so I'm not surprised that nobody caught it, but when someone asked if she would get One For All if she hypothetically absorbed an OFA holder, I responded not that she would, but that she does.

Midoriya is released from whatever he was trapped in (probably a bottle) and confronted with a badly sobbing Ashido, who now has her own green monkey tail and two large tufts of blonde hair swept up from her hairline.

I did tell you that things for Ashido would get worse before they got better.

So now Ashido has access to Inko and Yagi's combined Ki, plus One For All in addition to all of her existing abilities. Garaki no longer has a use for Midoriya as bait and orders him beaten and absorbed.

(Note: he thinks that Ashido is still faking having a personality, because Garaki is an idiot. "Crying will make them lower their guard! Brilliant" --local dumbass)

The fight doesn't go well for Midoriya. He is completely outclassed by Ashido and it's taking everything he's got to not die/get candied. And then Ashido starts begging him to put her down before she can actually kill him, because now that she's been ordered, she can't not otherwise.

Midoriya, seeing his friend trapped in her own body, his mother and his idol both having been absorbed by her and as far as he knows gone forever, snaps.

Garaki, who saw Inko achieve Legendary Super Saiyan, understands instantly that he's badly fucked up when Midoriya's Ki turns as golden as his hair.

Going Super Saiyan turns the tides, as since Ashido can't use Inko's own transformation, Midoriya has closed the gap between them and is now keeping pace with her. But that's not enough. Despite his determination, he can't get her to break through Garaki's programming.

In on a one-on-on fight, one of them would die here.

Midoriya isn't fighting alone.

With Midoriya now strong enough to match Ashido, Asui can finally close the distance and join the fray without fear of getting hit by stray shots, bringing up her own history and trying to help Ashido break free. And then Hagakure arrives, loudly announcing that she was raised to be an assassin but she's here now to be a Hero. Ashido's Hero if that's what it takes. And Hagakure didn't come alone, either. The rest of Class 1-A is with her. With three of their classmates having been kidnapped (including, again, Asui, the sane one), no force on earth could keep these feral children away.

You're right, Midoriya forgave her without hesitation. No, that's not enough. He was furious on her behalf for what Garaki had done to her.

That alone didn't save Ashido.

But everyone?

For the first time in her life, Ashido, faced with an order from Garaki, makes herself hesitate. She stopped fighting. Crumpled to the ground and wailed, surrounded and comforted by her class and friends.

Garaki, correctly concluding that he should get the fuck out of here before one of these kids remembers that he's still in the splash zone, tries to sneak away.

Unfortunately for him, there's one other thing he forgot to consider.

Inko's wife.

Sure it took her a bit to get to Japan once the news showed what was happening in Kamino, so the kids managed to deal with it by the time Star and Stripe got there, but she still had her own pound of flesh she wanted to take from Garaki.

(Oh, by the way, people Ashido absorbs are effectively trapped in her body, not dead. Free from Garaki's influence, she's able to release them unharmed.)

[argonapricot]

People accusing Shin of having no personality/characterization to dunk on her is so annoying... First of all, it's totally fine and normal to like a Star Wars character who hasn't gotten a canon personality yet (i.e. Darth Maul in Phantom Menace) based on their design / story / performance / vibes. It's normal for mysterious characters to exist, and it's normal for people to like those characters. But we do actually already know some cool stuff about Shin; she does have A Characterization and A Story even when the show is holding back with her.

I agree that for now there are many unknowns about her, and fans are having to speculate about her while we wait for the show to fill in the gaps and give us canon answers. (I agree that it would be nice to know more of what the showrunners undoubtably know but have kept hidden so far, like any information about her backstory at all. I am sure they are planning to explore more backstory in the next season, but it's a huge shame just bc Ray Stevenson can no longer be part of that exploration :( )

However, the information we do have about her is totally sufficient to make her cool and interesting. Imo.

"Baylan Skoll's feral, ruthless apprentice, who has a padawan braid, who is dark side-y enough that she seems eager for violence but still asks 'like me?' when Baylan is talking about Ezra being a Jedi." like yeah sorry that's all I need I'm sold! Sorry!

Seeing her make this facial expression before her first duel/encounter ever with another padawan:

Is enough for me! That's already something really interesting to work with! Or the dynamic between her and Baylan in this specific moment

For one moment he just suddenly beams fondness/pride at her and she seems so intense and excited when she bows back, as she goes off to try to murder some people. Then she gets so visibly upset later when Sabine tells Ahsoka to go get the map, thwarting the assignment she was given here of holding off the both of them.

That's an exciting and interesting master-padawan dynamic! I am going to be interested in Baylan Skoll's padawan who has this dynamic with Baylan Skoll as a foil to Ahsoka's relationship with Anakin and u Cannot Stop Me.

Sometimes I like to look at an actor's performance and observe what they seem to be feeling. Sometimes I like to wonder about things that have not yet been revealed to the audience, I find that an interesting experience... I am sorry that u cannot appreciate her Sublime & Unique Vibes....

The way she acts when she fights is part of her characterization! As with everyone in this show, her fighting style is designed and choreographed to be expressive of her character. The way she moves is expressive. She's so aggressive and excited and alive when she fights. That's information about who she is! It's fun information!

Look at this. Look at how she reacts when Baylan tells her to go up against Ahsoka Tano's ex-apprentice.

I admit I cannot tell u with 100% certainty what she is canonically feeling in this moment, but whatever it is she is feeling it SO INTENSELY. The fact that she reacts like this is interesting information about her character, bc every single conceivable explanation for why she is emoting this way is interesting and cool!

She seems kinda excited. She seems to find it significant and momentous. That's fun. We don't know why she feels this way, but it's too late she is already interesting sorry

Sorry for observing the facial expressions that a character makes and learning things about them that way

It's annoying that the show hasn't taken the time to reveal more things about her yet I agree but why are you being mean 2 her... Having mysterious characters is normal Star Wars procedure :/

Like yes we all know this is not Andor, the writing is not always brimming with deft characterization, that's a shame, but that doesn't mean the show hasn't given us a lot of interesting canon building blocks to work with.

tl:dr this is a skill issue and I love her very much

It's honestly kind of funny coming from the silmarillion fandom... some people simply know how to appreciate cool and unique characters based on limited information.

[lover-of-mine]

I keep thinking about the Tommy leaving post and the Buddie being ready for each other post and I feel like there's a comparison I want to make here but I'm not sure exactly what it is but something about Tommy leaving because he was not down with that whole mess of date, understandably, but also Buck's boatload of issues still even tho Tommy came back & they're in this "maybe this could be the something I'm ready for" & potential issues that might crop up going forward like will Buck be hesitant still or dive headfirst or some combination, will Tommy feel like it's too much or just not working, will it be the thing that finally makes something click in Buck's head that he needs to go to therapy bc hey Tommy is different from his exes but the issues are still the same idk or he decides it's not working bc it's not the thing he wants but he's ready to figure that out so again therapy! but also when he realizes he's in love with Eddie & they could be it for each other he knows he doesn't want to make those same mistakes and the way to do that is to be honest with himself and Eddie and it's not perfect but they're both in it and self enough aware they know they can make it work together (therapy would be so good but also Maddie or Bobby have some wisdom here too) like a desperation almost of I love him and I want him and this is it for me but I'm so scared of losing it all and it's like well. What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna let yourself have this? I read a fic today where when they were discussing starting something but Buck was scared Eddie was like "we deserve to be happy too and being with you makes me happy" and that's all I want now okay sorry this is so long and probably makes no sense but I didn't know who to send it to I can stop rolling it all in my head over and over again send help or a sedative my god they make me feral and all these new ttpd edits are making it 10000x more

Okay, I see what you mean, and I am team Buck/Therapy first and foremost, but let's discuss Tommy outside the perfect queer Yoda people seem to have put him in. First of all, Tommy didn't come back, the energy that exists there is that there would be no second date if Buck didn't ask him for coffee (and Buck only called because Eddie told him to). I don't blame Tommy for walking away, the situation Buck put him in is shitty, but he did not come back, he indulged Buck in a coffee for whatever reason I don't understand. I don't understand why someone would agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after one kiss and half a date they walked out of. But what I'm getting from Tommy is that he's not gonna put up with Buck's bullshit just because he's cute. And Buck is diving in head first, asking someone to be your date to your sister's wedding after half a date where they left you on the curb when he's out to exactly 2 people is somehow crazier than buying furniture with Natalia, because at least there he had what? 3 successful dates under his belt? Buck is in the hamster wheel, this time with a guy. Dating a guy is bringing him clarity in some aspects of his life, but he is still showing the same patterns when it comes to dating. Will he break out of his pattern this time? Who the fuck knows. Realizing he's repeating these patterns and letting go before he gets in too deep, realizing he needs to work on himself, would be a major sign of growth from him, but Tommy pointing something out and making him take action works too, but I don't know what or how that could be approached. I was talking about this with someone last week, I'm pretty sure i sent them a voice note of like, 12 minutes on this, but do we trust Buck to separate the way he's infatuated from what he actually needs? That his bisexuality is his no matter what? Because I don't. If he's still that insecure about Eddie when Eddie has been stable in his life the whole time they've known each other, then I don't trust him with anything emotional, really. Could he wake up one day and realize maybe it was about Eddie, see what's in front of him and proceed to work through his insecurities? Sure, they could go there, especially with how intertwined Eddie is to bucktommy, make Buck realize his feelings, work through his insecurities somehow and realize he needs to talk to Eddie and that they will be okay no matter what. But the thing is, Eddie loves Buck too much. Like the post said, he loves Buck at his own detriment, so if Buck goes all weird on him for whatever reason again (which he probably would if he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, he would panic, 705 Buck would freak out if realized he's in love with Eddie) he's gonna internalize that, and that's something they need to address before there is any movement into making them romantic.

Because now that there's a real chance buddie is gonna go canon, they need to address some problems that were created between them, mainly the way they assume things about each other a lot instead of having an open conversation. All they need is an open conversation, I will accept if the show magically decides they can talk to each other now, that the issue was the denial, but Buck needs to ask for shit, he needs to talk when he's insecure, he needs to not let Eddie get away with assuming he's right, and Eddie needs to stop assuming he can read Buck's mind, he needs to call Buck out when he's getting in his head, and he needs to stop trying to fix past mistakes with someone else, they need to actually be able to address things that hurt them, because they will hurt each other, the question is how they work through the problems. Dating your best friend, even more after being best friends for this long comes with issues, the adjustment would be intense because they have an intense relationship already. And they both need to let go of the idealized version of what a relationship should look like they have. Can Tommy help Buck there? Yeah, absolutely, but he also shouldn't be expected to hold a grown man's hand through his own feelings, yk? Buck doesn't know what he wants and he's working through it, allegedly, so, like, there's potential there but I have no idea how this can unfold tbh. They need to get to the point where they're like "I deserve happiness" but also realizing that happiness doesn't look the way they think it does, that it's never gonna be perfect, but that it is worth fighting for, you don't find it, you make, works here too, but the thing is, you need to keep making it as long as you're together, love is not all it takes, the fight never stops. I've been thinking about this a lot too.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Longwinded anon again. It's very easy to see where Aziraphale needs to get his act together/get therapy in regards to his belief in Heaven's essential goodness (and it was always very odd to see fans believing that four years would have been sufficient, narrative-wise, for that to happen--four years is nothing to characters who are immortal). Crowley, though, is still doing one of the most toxic things on his side of the relationship: he's being over-protective. In S1, the "damsel in distress" bits, which I know some fans like to romanticize, are harmful to both characters, because they make Crowley feel like he's doing something heroic when he isn't (every rescue in S1 is unnecessary) and encourage Aziraphale to abandon his agency. In the narrative arc, Aziraphale's discorporation, which Crowley fails to stop, is liberating. He does his conscientious objector bit, chucks himself out of Heaven, kicks Crowley out of his depression in the bar, vanishes the soldier, and then has to forcibly remind Crowley at the airfield that /now/, in fact, Crowley needs to do something or there will be irreversible consequences. And then they rescue each other through the body swap.

S2 doesn't have the big swoopy rescue scenes, aside from the 1941 replay, but what it does have is Crowley withholding key information that might well have altered Aziraphale's behavior. He clearly hasn't been forthright about what Gabriel really said at the execution, and he never gets around to mentioning that Aziraphale has put himself in danger of being zapped out of existence by Heaven. (This is very PRIDE & PREJUDICE: Lydia elopes with Wickham in part because her older sisters don't publicize his bad behavior.) Again, he thinks of himself as Aziraphale's protector, and while Aziraphale knows that Crowley likes to protect him--he even says so--in S2 he doesn't fully understand what Crowley is protecting him from. Nina asks Aziraphale why he doesn't stick up for himself, and he shows once again that he can, but in S2 Crowley thinks it's his job to keep Aziraphale safe from any real Heaven-sent nastiness that might puncture his innocence. Which prevents Aziraphale from evaluating his choices once the Metatron shows up.

(As for S3: Gaiman does appear committed to getting them together in their cottage, so I don't think a permanent breakup is on the horizons. I do think something drastic has to happen, whether becoming mortal, becoming a "new" sort of immortal being tied to Earth rather than Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale delivering a full-bore public rejection of Heaven with attendant consequences, etc.)

Longwinded Anon✨, light of my life, you are officially driving me insane with these asks (screenshots of others under the cut); there is so much fascinating insight to talk about. first of all, though, welcome back and i hope you are also Surviving following s2!✨

these two characters are two of the most fun to dissect and examine. they are hugely multifaceted, and every time i watch s2 and ruminate on them, there is more and more to find. the below is the result of those ruminations, and i feel the obligation to warn anyone reading that it is going to be a very, very long one, so ✨buckle tf up✨

further messages from Longwinded Anon✨, my beloved:

aziraphale: insecurity

to me, one of the key tenets of aziraphale's character is a deep-seated and complete sense of insecurity and lack of self-esteem. and it's not unfathomable to think that he's had a lack of self-worth for some time, carrying all the way through to the Feral Domestic™ (FD). bear in mind that all of the below is without reference to the pre-fall scene, which ill cover separately later on.

there is however the fairly obvious element that heaven and the archangels completely disregard aziraphale, and are condescending and reductive in how they perceive and interact with him. aziraphale, i think, adopted this mindset pretty heavily in s1 - one such example being the "I'm soft" line - and it is further explored in s2, but specifically at the later end.

aziraphale in s2 seems much more self-possessed and 'together', and a key element of that shift is not only his liberation from heaven, but also that he somewhat starts to see himself through crowley's eyes as possibly being worthy of being loved. i think that he starts to think of himself as, in fact, having intrinsic value.

this is shown, in particular, in s2 by the contrast between ep2's rock scene (where he starts to question the depth of his angelic allegiance, and that he might have actually done the right thing by following his own personal conviction and helping save job's children), and the majority of ep5 (ie. his absolutely astounding - by aziraphale standards - amount of confidence in himself to get him and the ball attendees out of demonic danger).

this is brought to a head though by shax's comments in ep5, where she really drives a stake into the core of aziraphale's insecurity. she remarks on his propensity for indulgence (sushi/meals), his tendency to be overtrusting and naive ("softest touch"), his lack of traditional angelic quality ("went native"), and the question of what exactly crowley feels for him ("emotional support angel").

setting aside Michael's acting - which was truly mesmerising in this one little scene, probably one of his set-pieces in the show, honestly - that tells us that this really got to him, we know from everything we have seen of aziraphale in GO that these are likely thoughts that he has repressed, or pretends are not conceivable when they absolutely are.

my final interpretation of aziraphale's insecurity, however, is not necessarily that he thinks he is without value or merit whatsoever, but that he is not enough.

he's good enough to guard the eastern gate, but not good enough to keep adam and eve from temptation. he's good enough to guard and monitor the antichrist, but not enough to be truly accepted as part of the heaven hive (his physical sentry post on earth notwithstanding). he's good enough for crowley to run away with to alpha centauri, but not enough to convince crowley to choose to stay and fight with him to prevent the apocalypse.

this starts to wane in s2, and he's noticeably more happy and confident... right up until ep6 when he's good enough to be loved by crowley enough to spend eternity with, but not enough for crowley to sacrifice his hang-ups with heaven and help him rebuild it as a team so noone else ever has to suffer what they both did.

the lines however in ep6 that particularly broke my heart, because aziraphale literally conveys this whole painful, bleeding part of his psyche to crowley, are the following:

a: "if im in charge, i can make a difference."

a: "i don't think you understand what im offering you."

whatever the motive behind metatron's offer to aziraphale (and therefore calling into question the sincerity of his compliments to aziraphale), aziraphale has literally just been told that not only does someone who - whichever way you slice it - is the highest being in heaven that he has the ability to run it, but he has the ability to completely gut and rebuild it for the better.

harking back to ep1 with crowley's statement that aziraphale only calls him for three reasons, one of which is telling crowley something clever ie. his own achievements, it does make me wonder how often this scenario truly happens. maybe it does happen often, but what does aziraphale actually consider to be an achievement? something to be proud of himself for, that is purely reflective of his ability and - by extension - worth?

when aziraphale tells crowley that he might be misunderstanding what aziraphale is offering him, i don't interpret it as anything to do with restoring crowley; instead, i just see aziraphale telling crowley that he is offering up absolutely everything that he is, every single atom and aspect of him, and all crowley has to do is trust him enough to take it. he is saying that he will love crowley, and crowley can be free to love him, but only, in aziraphale's eyes, if crowley can accept aziraphale as he is; that he is enough.

during this whole part of the scene, crowley won't even look at him. won't even face him, sunglasses or not, and acknowledge what aziraphale is saying, right up until this line. you can visibly see that aziraphale starts to get angry that the one person who made him feel any self-worth might in fact have never seen him as good enough in the first place, that crowley didn't in fact love every part of him, and was choosing to cherrypick the aspects of aziraphale that suited crowley, rather than the whole.

this snippet of the scene is compounded by being sandwiched by these two crowley lines which, in my eyes, really highlighted that crowley is in fact only choosing to accept aziraphale in small measures, and that other elements of him are not enough:

c: "...you're better than that, angel!"

c: "you idiot, we could have been us."

aziraphale is enough exactly as he is; he's not perfect and certainly not wholly complete, but for crowley to dig at aziraphale by intimating that he is not reaching the bar that crowley has set for him - potentially subconsciously - is likely be the true end for how much stock aziraphale put in crowley's perception of him, and by extension the worth that he thought he had in crowley's mind. instead, aziraphale is now left to find a way of building his sense of self-worth all by himself - and does so by stepping into that lift.

crowley: salvation

im not going to necessarily talk about all the times that crowley demonstrates an almost pathological need to be aziraphale's saviour, because frankly Longwinded Anon✨ has that covered. but as with all things GO-related, i think it's important to try to understand why.

i truly think that a cornerstone of crowley's romanticism is deeply rooted in the concept of salvation. now, we know that he doesn't appear to give a flying fuck about salvation from heaven, but he certainly seems to put a great deal of import on being aziraphale's hero, and later he seems to question a great deal when aziraphale essentially finds a hero elsewhere.

as LW Anon✨ said, aziraphale is very cognizant that crowley likes to play hero where he's concerned, and seems simultaneously resigned and excited by the matter; resigned because actually, sometimes, aziraphale is smart or powerful enough to keep himself safe, but excited because this is possibly the epitome of how crowley expresses his love for him.

aziraphale shows that he is fully aware of this characteristic of crowley's, and whilst he does play into it (which we saw throughout all of s1e3) to 'make crowley happy' (and, dare i say, also because at this point it is the supernatural, sex-less interpretation of centuries-long foreplay) in s2 it almost starts to become neglectful, overbearing, and dismissive of - as LWA✨ says - any true agency that aziraphale has built since breaking from heaven. this, incidentally, is highlighted in the following exchange:

c: "im gonna get the humans out of here and then im coming back, i won't leave you on your own."

a: "i know, but i have a suggestion-"

c: [interrupts] "ive got this."

whether crowley feels like he is missing any genuine overture from heaven to apologise for making him fall for a minor infraction, or he feels guilty about something that he did (ie possibly what made him fall) and is making his own reparations in the outlet of constantly being aziraphale's saviour, the one that is certain is that crowley has to feel needed, and by extension - loved.

he does have a nasty habit of putting aziraphale down (which ill talk about next), however much in jest, and placing aziraphale constantly under his metaphorical wing. aziraphale going so far in s1 to actually work out the apocalypse and proceed to take what he believes is the right action to prevent it on his own must have, by extension, sent crowley reeling - if aziraphale can in fact look after himself, where does that leave crowley? what else, in crowley's eyes, could he possibly bring to the table that would make aziraphale want to keep him? love him?

i think that this is crowley's own brand of insecurity; that unless he is performatively saving aziraphale and protecting him from harm, and actively dismissing aziraphale's ability to protect himself sufficiently enough, he has no discernible quality that aziraphale would want. so instead he tries to make himself so integral to aziraphale's survival so that aziraphale has no choice but to keep him.

the fact that aziraphale saves himself in s1, and they then reflectively save each other, did wonders for aziraphale in progressing as a character. however, in crowley, i feel that this frightened him so emotionally that it regressed his character somewhat. all coming to the climax of when aziraphale, in good faith, offers crowley the chance at salvation for himself, crowley vehemently refuses it and takes it to insult. there are many other valid and understandable reasons why crowley rejects the prospect, but one of them to me is that it would leave crowley's fundamental role in aziraphale's existence as completely redundant.

both: demonstrating love

essentially what i put in an ask recently, but needed referencing here too.

leading on from crowley and his hero/saviour complex: the thing is that these are two diametrically opposing people in all but a handful of aspects. crowley by large is usually the more obviously demonstrative in his affection, borne out of many different reasons, and he is the ultimate Acts of Service (ft. Quality Time) dude. aziraphale tends to be more subtle, with Looks and Words, in how he displays his, so let's give him the Words of Affirmation (ft. QT) crown.

in s2, it seems to me that this hasn't really changed, but they are starting to cross over into speaking the language that the other understands. and to me, this comes to a head by the time of the ep5, and the ep6 FD. so obviously crowley has finally bridged into verbally demonstrating to aziraphale how he feels. aziraphale did the same action but mirrored by - however misguided - offering crowley the chance to be restored.

but neither want what the other is giving; they want what the other usually does to show their affection. aziraphale wants crowley to demonstrate his willingness to be with aziraphale by coming with him to heaven, and crowley wants aziraphale to acknowledge what he is telling aziraphale and respond in kind. neither are at fault for wanting that; they have simply demonstrated their devotion to each other in different ways, but those ways have been quite damaging.

crowley does do a lot for aziraphale, that can't be denied, but AoS is way more demonstrative, and yet it's easy to miss what those acts are actually saying. WoA can be more casual but the words you choose speak volumes... "our car/bookshop", "id love for you to help me", "my friend crowley", etc.

whilst i don't necessarily subscribe to the psychology of love languages, they're useful for this sort of analysis. aziraphale does even branch out in other languages; he is constantly touching crowley this season; the pub, the ball, the bookshop in early ep6. quality time is a given, and has always been their common ground. giving gifts im not so sure on, but i think the significance of readily offering crowley the bookshop as being his - something that was wholly aziraphale's, not heaven's, and is aziraphale's own sanctuary - spoke volumes.

specifically in ep5 however, aziraphale really goes ham in demonstrating to crowley how he sees love, defines it, and that he could give this to crowley - the pinnacle of this being the dance and the evident romantic implications of it... it summarises all of aziraphale's own romantic idealistic make-up; touching, intimate conversation, choosing crowley as his partner, romantic literature, classical music, etc.

and whilst comedic and obviously reflective of crowley being otherwise preoccupied re: demon incursion, i also thought that the physical imagery of aziraphale literally dragging him to the dancefloor, and crowley questioning when they've ever danced in the past, was particularly telling about crowley's reaction to how aziraphale is trying to convey to him, without saying the words, that he loves him.

aziraphale in s2 truly does give crowley everything that he can. his love is quiet, and gentle, and romantic, and whilst not as high stakes as saving aziraphale's life, it is still valid. however, it seems that where aziraphale seems to have recognised his feelings quite early on and acknowledged them early on, having time to settle them into his soul (even if he couldn't act for fear of heaven), s2 seems to indicate that crowley refused to acknowledge his until the eleventh hour.

but crowley's love has been there all along, ticking away. ignoring his tendency to stick his oar in where it isn't needed (saving aziraphale and treating him as if he were made of glass), he shows his love in his own ways - following aziraphale around soho, silently supportive, admires him for calming down the bookshop and handling the IB situation, tidies the bookshop for him (which also possibly indicates that he's now finally accepting the bookshop as his home), etc.

both of them take a swan dive in the declaring-love endgame in ep6, but neither of them are responsive to the love language that they usually give. aziraphale is given words but wants actions, and crowley is given actions but wants words. the chronic lack of communication between the two of them throughout the show is the main contributing factor to this disconnect, and leads to serious ramifications in their ability to possibly mend it going into s3.

aziraphale: pre-fall

at the risk of daring to contradict LWA✨ in their assessment of aziraphale's feelings towards the angel-who-crowley-was (AWCW) in the pre-fall scene, upon reflection i don't get the sense that aziraphale falls in love with AWCW in this moment. and exactly as pointed out by @assiraphales, we don't have any of the gaps filled in between this scene and The Wall, so it's arguably unknown when exactly those feelings deepened.

there is definitely attraction of some kind (can angels experience physical attraction? presumably they do, if aziraphale thought the "gorgeous" comment was directed at him), an admiration of AWCW's abilities, and an immediate concern for AWCW's wellbeing if he were to question god. but i don't get the sense that he falls in love; more that he's bumped into a cool, attractive kid outside his locker and immediately starts spouting angelic heart eyes, and at the least develops an immediate fascination.

AWCW is presented as being rather classist in this scene, and whilst not outright maliciously rude, he definitely seems to look down on aziraphale, or consider him relatively inconsequential. which is odd, because i think if he actually listened to what aziraphale was telling him, aziraphale actually comes across as having his own brand of status. i can't imagine that any bog-standard angel would be entrusted with helping god with building Her ultimate creation, building humans, and being allowed to see the Great Plan. whilst maybe not the same level as AWCW, i think the fandom is underplaying aziraphale's own significance in this part of the story.

the fact remains however that the aziraphale we see in this scene is still the fundamental foundation of the aziraphale we see later on in the story. AWCW calls for him as he's wandering (rocketing) past, and aziraphale doesn't hesitate to come to AWCW's aid. he's presumably going somewhere, but prioritises helping someone who needs him, and does so out of kindness and then, it seems later on, out of attraction.

he recognises the achievement of AWCW's nebula, asks questions to learn more (and thus demonstrating his interest) of the construction and purpose of AWCW's craft, and outright compliments it for its brilliance and wonder. all behaviours that id say is rooted in wanting to establish a friendship, and meanwhile developing an arguably shallow crush.

i think that these are also general admirations that aziraphale brings forward as he gets to know crowley as a demon, but has to adjust his world-view that he may admire the principle if not the act; he thinks crowley is clever and fun and talented, even if he doesn't condone the new ways in which crowley displays this.

there are definitely times where aziraphale is still caught up in crowley being a good person and concluding that crowley must still be an angel in all but name, but i do not necessarily think that he thinks lesser of crowley as a demon out of maliciousness. i think it's hard for aziraphale to conflate the two ideas that a) crowley has moments of being a good person regardless of hellish or heavenly identity, and that b) crowley doesn't want to be an angel. aziraphale still parallels good with angelicness, holds being good (and therefore being an angel) as the epitome of character, and can't as a result understand that if they were given the opportunity to change and improve the bad bits of heaven, why crowley wouldn't want to help him.

as LWA✨ says, the further we see their story progress, it becomes clear that aziraphale then begins to hold himself above crowley morally, and this is largely lynch-pinned on their separate identities as an angel and demon respectively. aziraphale constantly bats crowley down and puts him back in his place throughout s1, but less so in s2; in this, id refer back to aziraphale's insecurity around his being a good enough angel, but now that we have the context of AWCW having been aziraphale's technical superior, doing this possibly helps him to feel better about himself. this is abhorrent behaviour and is not at all kind, that can't be denied, but i think it is however possible to empathise with it.

aziraphale has spent a long time having an endless reserve of love and not having a lot of places where he can meaningfully channel it. he's got humanity and earth, but whilst he certainly cares for it, it doesn't mean that he candidly loves it. he still feels kinship to heaven and the other angels, but he certainly doesn't love them. in fact the only person he's ever had to fully pour out his love has been into crowley, but faced with the prospect that crowley may still be like his angelic self in that regard (ie not love him back), i think that love has been repressed so much that it's almost atrophied and turned self-destructive and self-sabotaging. in that context, whilst awful and generally inexcusable, aziraphale's behaviour starts to make sense.

crowley: Lucifer theory

i will preface this by saying that despite initial excitement, i don't necessarily think that crowley was lucifer in the colloquialised sense that we regard lucifer in general culture, but perhaps more represents lucifer in the wider sense of having a story that mirrors the one we can somewhat attribute to lucifer. whether or not he will actually be named as lucifer i think is up for debate, but in any case let's take a look at what lucifer's story actually entailed.

now i realise that i am absolutely not an expert on the matter, but there are indeed a wealth of misinterpretations where lucifer as a biblical figure is concerned. i am very behind on this discussion, angelology (shudder) is not in my limited repertoire of specialist subjects, and i welcome anyone else adding in their thoughts on the matter.

but if anyone else has zero knowledge on lucifer, like me, we'll start with the basics as i see them. name coming from the Latin for light- or dawn-bringer, lucifer has been linked to the planet venus in various tellings in roman mythology. given the occasional bright illumination of the planet as seen from earth, this is in part where we coming to the moniker Morningstar when also historically referring to lucifer. so on this base level, we have the link between lucifer and crowley by way of celestial context.

now down to a potential mistranslation, the hebrew for the name of satan, helel, has become synonymous with the name lucifer, down to their respective translations akin to the Latin for 'light-bringer'/'morningstar' as above, but that does not necessarily indicate that lucifer and satan are the same being. so this is where im fairly confident in that whoever crowley was, which is possibly lucifer, his story ran parallel to that of the former relatively unknown being and not the latter more infamous one.

crowley has referenced lucifer in s1, which has led to the debunk that the two are the same being, but when rewatching it, i think it can be completely reinterpreted:

c: "i never asked to be a demon. i was just minding my own business one day and then... "oh lookie here, it's lucifer and the guys!"... ah, hey - the food hadn't been that good lately, i didn't have anything on for the rest of the afternoon..."

this doesn't need to mean that AWCW was the one who came across lucifer and cohort, but possibly that someone else did, or just exclaiming it in the general sense. getting whimsical in the headcanon space, AWCW may well have been enjoying his afternoon, chatting with friends that he thought he could trust, and thought he could share his thoughts on challenging how things are run (same as he did with aziraphale). evidently, whatever happened completely bit him on the arse, and at minimum partially resulted in his fall.

there are multiple references to crowley being at least an angel of import, almost too many to count. however a common theme in many references to venus in various religious and mythological texts is the concept of reaching for higher power, but to be cast down and punished for it. given the indication (iirc) from interviews and also the pre-fall scene that crowley was up for collaborating with god on how to improve things in heaven, it could stand to reason that in a moment of anger or frustration he voices the thought that he could do a better job running the place.

and if other angels were behind him in this, equally dissatisfied with their lot in heaven, and being set aside by god in favour of humanity, it similarly wouldnt be a huge leap to think that this one sentence, this singular half-baked thought, might have precipitated the war. following said war, as LWA✨ suggests, it would make sense that in an effort to lick his wounds and keep a low profile, crowley would take or accept a middling rank in hell, and possibly even volunteer for the assignment of original sin; all the more opportunity to remove himself completely from the narrative between heaven and hell.

which then, now that i think about it, completely recontextualises crowley's aversion to being a part in helping aziraphale rebuild heaven. why would he want to, why wouldn't he be petrified of it, when the last time went so badly? there must be a sense of resentment towards aziraphale in this regard - what makes aziraphale, a potentially lower angel, so special that he would be invited to completely revolutionise heaven, when all AWCW did was make suggestions, and end up being villified for it? if he did join aziraphale, and challenged him, would aziraphale then be forced to cast crowley out again? what would crowley stand to lose this time?

so this is where i think the concept of crowley having a huge secret that he's keeping from aziraphale comes into play, and i agree must come out in s3. it would completely derail any faith that aziraphale had in crowley, for him to have kept such vital information from him, his potential part in the fall. i could imagine aziraphale interpreting the reveal of this secret as being that crowley fooled and hoodwinked him, however false or unintentional that might have been, and it representing the last vestige of aziraphale's innocence and naivety being swept away.

edit, because @baggvinshield has put this theory so eloquently and with far more comprehension and education than i could hope for: Lucifer theory

there are so many more topics that i have sat in various documents and in my notes as concerns these two characters; aziraphale's obsession with control and 'playing god', their shared inability to communicate effectively and meaningfully, crowley and his propensity for unintentional temptation, whether the love between them truly equates to any semblance of trust, etc etc. some of these topics have been alluded to in the above, but i felt that the above essay might be sufficient reading for now. im adoring (if a little bemused by it) the amount of discussion this silly little blog is generating, and im always more than happy to share my thoughts on anything GO-related where people want it!!!

and now - back to answering the hundreds of asks that have accumulated whilst i've hyperfixated on the above. ta-rah!✨💓

[goldenshrikecomic]

Y'know, I'm not sure if this question ever got asked before or not (Nor can I seem to find the answer in any of the available pages just yet), so forgive me if this has already been answered but...

Which came first;

The deerkind itself or Karuna's children?

According to the lore, Karuna was all alone in the vast blue sky. He created stars and blew them down, where they became mirrors of himself, deer. Then came halves, the rest is history. I like to think that religious lore and beliefs aren't necessarily facts, just something mortals put into words to understand them better. Doesn't make them correct!

I think the creation of Karuna's children and the deerkind intertwine. Loss is called the middle child, but also the space where nothing ever was, which could be the lonely sky. When the deer came down and reproduced for the first time, you'd imagine Eve was brought into existence. At this point the deer are pretty feral. Their thinking is simple, life is merry. Later, when Karuna is bored, he creates War, which in this scenario can express individualism, which in turn leads to conflict, growth, grief, conquest, evolution, and god's amusement.

The deerkind itself doesn't much care about Karuna's children, majority doesn't even know to name them. They just merge them to The Great Karuna.

[groundzero-v]

Titles tag game

Thank you @roalinda for tagging me! 💕

List the titles of your top 5 priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers)

An upcoming scene, event or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which of the top 5 wips are they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends!

Titles

1. Revenge *is* the answer (worktitle, Prongsfoot)

Set in a version of the wizarding world where ghosts work a bit differently, Sirius and James team up to hunt Peter Petigreew down.

Or: James comes back (sort of), breaks Sirius out of Azkaban (finally) and decides whoever betrayed them both doesn't deserve to live on.

2. Marauder's Guide to Saving the Wizarding World (Prongsfoot)

I suppose everyone is tired of me talking about this one, but it's my only published wip 😄 James and Sirius compete as a team in the Triwizard Tournament which sets things that were never supposed to happen in their time in motion. Marauders fight Voldemort AU!

Includes lots of Marauder banter, feels, questionable humour, prongsfoot moments and brand new tasks in the tournament

3. No title yet. Star Wars AU + transmigration* (Prongsfoot)

The Proud Immortal Sith Way was a webnovel with an average rating of 2.5. It was, quite frankly, a piece of shit. The only thing that kept James reading, day after day, was the main character, the Jedi turned Sith, Sirius Black.

Sirius' whole life was filled with misfortune and pain. Upon entering the Order he received nothing but distain and distrust from everyone around him, even from his Master. It was no wonder he turned to the Dark side when everyone was just a useless NPC!

'How is it fair that Sirius had to spend the rest of his life in misery after suffering this whole time?!!’ James wrote at 1AM into the comment section of yet another chapter that had Sirius traveling the galaxy and adding another one-chapter, useless love interest to his harem.

The same night, James died. When he woke up, he was in the novel, the words 'Fine, do better,' apprearing in front of his eyes before they blipped out of existence.

*((A variation of SVSS for those aware, but should be totally alright to read without any knowledge of SW or SVSS^^))

4. Fantasy/Knights of the Round table AU (Prongsfoot)

Fantasy, Arthur & Knights of the Round table AU. James in the place of Arthur, future king, and Sirius as Lancelot, his most loyal knight. Features sword-magic, epic adventures and magical creatures. A very much just a concept for now

An upcoming scene, event or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing:

1. Prongsfoot just...being feral for each other, absolute devotion to the max. They have finally reunited again and there's nothing that can stop them. Also just them...trespassing everywhere 😄 Besides that, definitely the confrontation with Peter!!

2. I'm pretty excited about the Second Task of the Tournament (and a bit scared since I had to create it, hopefully it's interesting). But other than that, to be very vague haha, Prongsfoot meeting Voldemort for the first time!🙈 (There is a line that started this whole fic that I have been waiting to use and its coming closer with each day!!)

3. It's so different so I have to say there're so many things I'm really excited about. Figuring out who should be who in the SW universe is a lot of fun, but I think I'm mostly looking forward to James and Sirius being absolutely unstoppable with lightsabers and the Force. The aspect of the transmigration is also something I'm really really looking forward to

4. I love fantasy so puttting Prongsfoot in there is just a dream. A scene I'm most excited about is Sirius getting knighted by James and swearing his loaylty to him 🥹

Tagging (no pressure and sorry if you were already tagged!) @lovelymasks @jmagnabo92 @cassiaratheslytherpuff @gracelesslady23 @prongsfoot4life @solitaire-sol @mycupofrum @siriuslystarbucks @siriuslycomplex