#miss them (they’re still on the same time I’m just overdramatic)

[lazicalm]

Taking What’s Not Yours - TV girl

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi anon, I want you to know your not failing academically at all. And your not being overdramatic or dickish.

I know that my input here is entirely unwarranted but I felt the need to assure you because I know that shit is hard. I don't know what year your in but I want you to know that you aren't failing. I'm in second year of my degree and I'm behind on 4 weeks of readings and I have missed a few classes here and there. Which considering in first year I had 100% attendance freaked me out, but taking a step back and thinking for a sec it wasn't the end of the world and it isn't for you either. I know it seems like a big deal but it's not, as long as you don't miss any major assignments you can pass the year just fine, which yeah assignments suck but they are basically all that matters particularly if your a first year, just pass the year, first year barely counts anyway because unis know stuff like this happens, it's a new environment in a new city with an entirely new schedule. It's terrifying.

I know uni with mental illness is awful, I spent my first year contemplating dropping out every day because I just couldn't leave my bed or dorm, i know how it feels to close your eyes and wish you never existed. But I promise you that it gets a little easier as you go, and as you talk about it. I don't know what uni your at but in thw UK they are required to have a wellbeing centre for students who can offer support for depression and depression episode's and i know that's scary but it saved me a lot. You aren't wrong to be annoyed at your freinds, it gets frustrating to have to hear the same reply over and over of "mood" or "same" but I'm sure they meant no harm, that doesn't chnage the fact that you have every right to be annoyed.

Uni does feel quite isolating a lot of the time, hell my chronic loneliness is worse than ever and I have a girlfriend for fuck sake. Its the way its set up,but if your friends are good ones, ask if you can talk to them, and if not, as a UK student I am always happy to lend an ear and encourage you to go get up and eat and study if you need. Your not alone I promise.

Anyway, I'm always here if you need anon, your doing great just talking about it and I'm proud of you. You've got this. Go to the shops and get a few bits and bobs that are easy to cook because a real meal might help.

@ 🐸 anon!!! You’ve got mail.

I second this. Ambrose is right. You’re close to the situation now so you’re still processing it. But once you’ve had time to clear your mind, you’ll see that missing a lecture is okay. I get it. I started my undergrad an obsessive stickler and by the end of it I was just like “they’re lucky I’m even showing up at all, lol.”

Also, I know that you said you don’t feel close enough to your uni friends to talk to them about stuff, but have you considered getting, like, an accountability buddy? You don’t have to confide in them about how you’re feeling/ why if you’re not comfortable. But, you could ask if any of your friends would like to do a check-in a few times a day/week/ whatever works best for y’all.

Like, with my ADHD and depression and shit, I find that I’m most motivated when I have a deadline. Not one that I set for myself cuz I can easily just change that deadline. I have to feel like someone else is depending on me to meet the deadline. So, I’ve started asking to meet with my dissertation committee to like do a check in and quick progress report. With those meetings looming over me, I feel the need to have something to show them, which forces me to do SOMETHING. It’s not a perfect system but it’s better than nothing lol.

You can find a friend to meet and study with or like hang out once a week get some coffee or a drink and tell each other what you’ve been up to or what your goals are for the week. Not to shame or police each other. But to commiserate and encourage one another? It may not be a good system for you. Everyone’s different. So like whatever works is always going to be the best option. But sometimes you gotta try out a bunch of approaches before you land on something.

[visumper]

Endline snippets but its Kaemory and im crying also Pretty Face by PUBLIC is literally the kaemory song ever,,, UE UE UE… also kae pov

I’m holding her hand. Oh. That’s kind of embarrassing. I can feel my face start to heat up when I realize and try to pull my hand away. It’s weird, because I can’t feel anything. My limbs— they’re all numb. When I try to move my hand, I can’t tell if it even moves or not. I try looking around, but all I see is a bunch of stupidly bright red and Em’s pretty face. Ugh. Why can’t I open them more? It feels like my eyes are only half open. Maybe they are. My vision’s blurry too, but I can still see her clearly. She’s the only clear thing I see, as if she’s the only person my eyes focus on.

She’s crying. There’s other people too, I think. I can’t hear them well since my hearing feels all muffled too. I can’t tell who they are, since they’re nothing but colored blobs. Haha. This kind of feels like I got Sporis bombed by Mari. This is a little different though. Ah… I don’t think this is just a mushroom this time.

Where’s Aza? I feel like I’m drunk and high at the same time. I hate Aza’s stupid medicines because they taste like shit like Mari’s cooking, but they work pretty damn well. I force myself to focus, because Em’s definitely crying. I should probably comfort her, right? That’s what girls like, right? In the end I end up asking about Aza. Were he and Rowan still dealing with Aid? I still need to beat Rowan at table tennis. I still need to beat Aza at darts.

It’s hard not to be jealous of those two. Haha. They’re so talented. They remind me a lot of my siblings…

“Wh…” I manage to get out. Em’s grasp on my hand gets tighter. My hand is the only thing I can feel on my body. It’s almost like my brain shut off everything else. Kinda like “hey, make sure to only focus on Em totally holding your hand! You love-drunk hot hunk!”

… why am I thinking about this, anyways? I’m not hot nor a hunk.

“Aza?” I gasp out. Why is it so hard to talk? This is bad. This reminds me of when I couldn’t speak at all. Couldn’t defend myself from being accused of that stupid fucking…

Em starts sobbing even harder. Did I do that? It’s like the cries get louder and louder, as if the other unknown blobby people are crying to. Why? What happened? Did something happen to Aza? Where is he? If the blob people are crying, then they must be from Score, too, right? Rowan maybe… Mari? Lucius? No. Lucius is missing, probably dead. Verdict got to him… Rowan or Mari, then? Are they all here? Where’s Aza?

Em is wailing still, and I don’t know why. Somehow I get my fingers to clasp onto hers a little more. I can’t tell if I’m in pain or not. Everything’s numb and I can’t feel anything, but this situation’s just way too weird. Why can I barely move? Why can’t I talk? I have so many questions. My eyes involuntary start to close even more, and I yell at them in my head because I want to look at Em longer. I want my hand to move, to cup her cheek and my mouth to comfort her. But my body won’t move at all. It’s like my legs are nonexistent, too.

And then I start to think.

Am I dying?

“Em?” I croak. My voice sounds all wrong. It’s all broken up and quiet. Lucius would’ve made fun of me for it. You know, he was a scheming slimy bastard, but I do kind of miss him. Just kind of. Only kind of.

“Lo…ve… you,” I say, without thinking at all. Because what if I really am dying? I don’t even realize I’ve just confessed to the absolute love of my life. This could just be some weird circumstance, right? A minor injury I’m being overdramatic about, right? Even still, everything about this feels wrong.

I’d rather die a hundred Verdict executions before I die before confessing to her. Any execution but the Wall, of course. Because then Em and Mari and Rowan and Aza and Lucius would die too. Also Lucius is probably dead. So maybe he doesn’t count.

When I was accused, I couldn’t speak at all. After that, I became afraid of being quiet. But then I found Mari and Score. And through Score I found Em and the others. So to hell with the accusations, to hell with the rumors. To fucking hell with the life I had before, because this is better.

I like this. I like these people.

I like you. A lot. I love you.

Her pretty eyes widen at around the same time I realize what I’ve said. I laugh like a goofy man, the laugh coming out sounding like a dying run-over hedgehog on drugs and steroids with mega bass boost.

Weird simile, Mari would probably say.

Rowan taught me that one, I’d like to reply.

And then she smiles. Her eyes are still sad and teary, but she’s smiling and her hand is so warm.

I don’t know what’s happening at all, but I really do hope I wake up again. I hope I’m not dying, because I still need to beat the twins at their respective games. I hope I’m not dying, because I mainly want to be able to hug Em and confess again and again.

I can’t see her anymore, but I can hear her.

“I love you, Kae.”

That’s enough for me.

[romantic-reveries]

Forever feeling like I’m being an overdramatic baby, even when people validate my feelings. I STILL feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing at work, even though my grandma said in all her years working, she’s never been so disrespected in a work place except for one time when they WANTED her gone because they were corrupt and she was onto them.

Even when my partner who has been the sales manager here for almost twenty years tells me “no, that’s what they’re like and they’ve chased plenty of people away because of it.”

So the manager yelled at me. So what.

But it’s not really even that she yelled at me. It’s what she said.

She said I interrupt them all the time — as if I’m just interrupting them when they’re busy for superfluous reasons. As if I’m that kind of person. And that I argue with her when she corrects me, which she’s literally never done, except ONE time when I asked them to validate my hours, because they’d closed two hours early and told me to write in 6 on my time card, which would’ve given me about half hour of overtime.

Except it was a Wednesday, when we normally close at 5. And they never, ever give me that hour, even though they’re closing to go to church, which isn’t my problem, and they should pay me 40 hours anyway. It’s not even the pay—it’s the principle.

Anyway, I thought he was just being nice, so adding the two hours plus what I actually was there for that week put me into overtime, which would’ve been an extra $13 for the 40 hours, and another probably like, $9 for the overtime. A whole whopping $22 bucks. I wrote it in on my time card, which means when they sent it, they had to go out of their way to just tell them to give me 40.

And when I asked about it, she told me that I must’ve just misunderstood her husband, which flew all over me. I didn’t — him forgetting we usually only work until 5 on Wednesdays or him misspeaking is not me misunderstanding. And maybe that was a petty thing to be mad over, but it’s stupid. It was nine fucking dollars extra. Just give it to me. I would’ve been here if THEY had been.

So I disagreed. I didn’t misunderstand, that’s what he SAID. That’s the ONLY time she’s ever even remotely “corrected” me was telling me I misunderstood and me “arguing” back.

So for her to jump down my throat about how I’m always interrupting them when they’re busy and “it’s rude” and arguing when I’m corrected as if I’m this rude, insolent person just made me so so mad and uncomfortable. If that’s how she sees me, then why would I stay here? That’s probably the worst way you could insult me. I had a whole identity crisis over it.

And then they had the audacity to ask if I’d stay three weeks instead of two because they’re going on vacation — a rude person wouldn’t do you a favor. But I agreed, because that’s who I am.

And THEN, they invited back the girl who worked here and left a few months before I was hired. And she’s being hired as full-time sales, when they chose to introduce me to sales and then relegate me to only overflow because I “needed more training”, but she doesn’t remember fucking ANYTHING from her time here (less than a year since she left!!) and has had to ask ME for help???? And the manager even had me teach her how to run financing???? Yet *I* didn’t know enough to be on the sales floor full time?? HA.

So now I’m like, I should just not come next week. The new girl and their son can handle it. Initially it was just going to be him and I, so what’s the difference? She missed it here so much, she’s sooo happy to be back, she’s already taking clients—let her learn.

But then I hear the boss on the phone with his mom this morning, “okey dokey, love you mom,” and I remember that they’re just people. But that doesn’t make them less selfish or greedy. And then, I don’t know—perception is hard. Maybe their perception of things isn’t the same as mine, I’m sure they have their reasons, etc etc, but still. They haven’t been fair to me, and I haven’t been comfortable since I started a couple months after I started working here.

And then I think maybe I’m the problem. Maybe my perception was negatively coloring all of this. Which is why I was able to brush it off, I guess, until she yelled at me. There’s no twisting that—it is what it is. She was mean for no reason.

She’s not quite accused me, but been worried a couple of times that I was poaching her son’s clients, which is also super insulting because I wouldn’t do that. And I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s used to larger locations with more salespeople and maybe that happens. But still.

I don’t know. I hate how quick I am to doubt my own reality instead of just feeling how I feel and knowing I’m right. But it’s the fact that I AM like that that makes it so frustrating that she insinuated I was rude and argumentative and a friend recently implied that I shift blame when she brings things up with me (which she never even has??) so again I’m like—is it me? Am I fucking crazy? Because I don’t think so. I’m super self-aware and conscientious to a fault. I know when I’m wrong or I’ve been rude and I freely admit it and apologize. I’m human, and I’m sure I have blind spots, but I can’t imagine those things being among them.

[owen-not-carvour]

cultural differences

i have a lot of international friends. and with me being american and them being from Literally Anywhere Else, we have discovered a Lot of cultural differences. pair that with curtwen/spies brainrot and you get whatever This is: 

- starting off strong with an obvious one: temperature. the age old fahrenheit v. celsius debate. like i imagine the guys just walking around whatever city they’re in for the week and (we’ll say it’s summer idc) curt’s like ‘it’s so hot out here, it’s gotta be like 90 degrees or something’ and owen just looks at him in Horror for a second (maybe he even says something along the lines of ‘mega ik it’s warm but that’s just overdramatic’) before he remembers curt’s american and that’s just Regular hot in fahrenheit and not like INSANELY hot like it is in celsius. and then he’s just ‘no its more like 32 degrees i think’ just to fuck with him bc the same though process will go through curt’s head and owen just wants to see his face before he remembers owen’s british and not just saying the opposite of what he said. and ofc they know both systems well enough; they’ve traveled around enough for that. and usually it’s not that weird; curt’s used to owen using celsius and owen’s used to curt using fahrenheit and they usually get what the other is saying, but Sometimes they just either forget or don’t want to convert what they’re saying for the other, so they just Don’t and let the other suffer trying to figure it out for a minute. 

-same with measurement. american measurement names are so weird to begin with, it’s like curt’s asking to get made fun of when he talks about how many feet something is or Whatever. (also just imagine owen mocking curt’s accent the way curt mocks owen’s at the start of the show,, yeah it’s great) Anyway- it’s pretty much the same thing as the temperature situation, but because of the american measurements curt just gets made fun of a lot more. like owen knows what he means when he says it but he’s still gonna respond like ‘what the ✨bloody hell✨ is an inch????’ (extra british to just make it that much worse for curt lol)

-chain stores. listen idk what all types of chains they had in the 50s (britain especially lol) but they for sure weren’t nearly as globalized as they are now (pretty much all i remember is that walmart and mcdonalds existed in the US at that point tbh) but ik based on conversations i’ve had with my international friends it’d go something like this (the same for if you flipped them too ofc): owen: hey have you been to *insert British chain (restaurant, store, Whatever)*   curt: sorry to What?? i’ve literally never even heard of that. what is it?       owen: ONLY THE BEST THING EVER???? i can’t believe you don’t have those in america, no wonder you’re so miserable...                                                         and then the second they have an opportunity to do so, owen drags curt to britain to experience Whatever The Place was lol. curt’s done the same with some american places, too. They both really love those trips :)

-names of every day objects. this one probably comes up between them most often (also the most obvious). of course there’s the difference between apartment and flat, trunk and boot, elevator and lift, etc. these types of differences generally don’t bother them (same with the extra u’s in words like colo(u)r), it just earns the other some classic accent mocking. it’s the pronunciation of some words has nearly ended their relationship a few times. examples include but are not limited to: 1) cicada; i imagine they’re out on like. a stakeout or something and it’s getting dark and curt’s like ‘woah the sic-kay-duhs are so loud right now’ and owen’s just ‘... the What?? are you talking about sic-ah-duhs?? like the bugs?’ ‘yeah... how did you say it???’ ‘sic-ah-duh.’ ‘wrong.’ and it’s just them realizing that this is yet another american/british relationship clash and argue about who’s right about the pronunciation until they almost miss their mission target moving. 2) scone; i’m not gonna write this one out like i did the last one but here’s the rundown: owen: scahn curt: skown. owen goes out to pick them up some breakfast from a coffeeshop or Wherever before a mission and gets them a couple of scones. He brings them back and calls them ‘scahns’ and curt is Appalled at that. they proceed to argue about the pronunciation of their breakfast until cynthia or barb calls to ask them why tf they haven’t even left the hotel yet. eventually they make it to their mission but the argument never stops. not until the end of the day. 

(the scone one is literally based on a recurring conversation i have with a canadian friend of mine)

Bonus: y’all know how curt’s from Texas? well i’m from the south as well (different region of the south, yes, but shhhh this is funny ok) and WELL. that opens up a whole new section of cultural differences, but the first one that came to mind was sweet tea. i hate unadulterated sweet tea so much but OHHHHHH does it make for a great headcanon. so i hc that owen is a tea over coffee type of person,, not just bc he’s british (though that certainly doesn’t help) but just because i feel that suits him more. And of course curt very much so makes fun of owen for drinking tea (a la when he mocks his accent at the top of the show) too. but one day curt’s like hey owen i made you some tea. totally harmless right? WRONG! he made sweet tea™️ and it might as well be poisoned bc that shit is sweeter than sugar itself (bc that’s practically all that’s in it). but owen doesn’t pay it any mind and accepts it as his boyfriend just doing something nice for him (though he does give curt a Look when he takes it). but curt knows exactly what he’s doing and waits for owen to taste it. the second he does he just. imediately gags and curls in on himself (yes it can be that bad when you’re not expecting it lol). curt can’t stop laughing. a few moments later when they both recover (kind of) owen’s just. shocked. absolutely speechless. he just sits there staring at curt with murder in his eyes until, “...what the hell did you just give me?” “sweet tea” “no shit, but this isn’t tea by a long shot. how much sugar is in it?” “no clue” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘NO CLUE’?!?! YOU MADE IT!” “just bc i made it doesn’t mean i measured.” “WHAT??!?!” “that’s just how you do it :)” “NO??????” 

owen doesn’t forgive him for a week. he also doesn’t trust curt to make him tea (or really any drink) at all after that unless he can actually Watch him make it :)

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable. ( Jungkook x OC)

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ] 

[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five.  Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]

Summary : 

21 year old Hwang Sera is sick of being the only human in an entire clan of vampires. As an immortal human from one of the oldest bloodlines, she is a catch. The Vampire she marries would essentially be indestructible. 

Which makes her an easy target for greedy vampires everywhere. 

Determined to keep his precious daughter safe, her father hires an old friend , Jeon Jungkook as her full time bodyguard. 

Jungkook is 35 years old ( well technically 576 years old )  , father to an adorable five year old kid and he has zero tolerance for Sera and her teenage shenanigans. But , he needs the money and he knows his son would be safe in the  Hwang clan’s massive mansion.  

And suddenly, after years of despising vampires, all Sera can think about is getting into the gorgeous vampire’s bed and maybe into his heart. 

Chapter 1

“He’s so hot.” My sister sighed for the seventeenth time and I glared at her.

“He’s mine. Back the fuck off.” I bared my non existent fangs at her and she retaliated by showing off her own inch long fangs, eyes flashing ruby red in the confines of our huge sprawling bedroom. 

The man in question, my sparkling new bodyguard wasn’t here now. He was downstairs at the party, being introduced to the others as the latest addition to our clan.

My mouth watered when I remembered his gorgeous, handsome face. And that body , God. 

Sculpted by some higher being who wanted to show off, for sure. 

I had never given much thought to losing my virginity. It certainly wasn’t by design that I hadn’t had sex yet but looking at Jeon Jungkook in a fitted black suit, midnight black hair falling into his lovely red eyes and those delicious muscles.....

I kind of believed in fate now. 

This was why I’d always been repulsed by the vampires who courted me. 

Because Jeon Jungkook had been out there, waiting for me. 

And now fate had brought him here and he was going to be mine. 

I stumbled over a stray bra, nearly face planting onto the floor . 

 God, i hated how messy Somi was but I was also eternally grateful that she had skipped out on the party tonight, volunteering to help me with the kids. 

I ran a daycare in one of the larger cottages in the estate, keeping the little fanged devils in check while the parents went about their daily lives. On nights like this, when my father hosted guests from every clan in the country for one of his lavish parties, there was always a whole bunch of bite-happy toddlers in need of supervision. 

Enter me.

 I loved babies. I’d always loved them. They were adorable. And after three years of school , I was finally, officially qualified in caring for them. 

Oh and by the way did i tell you that Jungkook had a son? Jeon Joowon was possibly the cutest five year old I’d ever seen and yes I was a little biased but that was okay. I was going to be the kids step mom , after all. 

Listen, don’t look at me like that, I just really want to be with Jungkook okay?

I tripped over the same bra when turning back around and I swore.

Focus, Sera. You can day dream about hot vampire daddy later.

“ Why do you have to throw your shit all over the place like this? “ I whined, grabbing the offensive piece of fabric and tossing it at her. She caught is so fast I  went a little cross eyed. My sister never missed an opportunity to show off her super-saiyan, vampire powers. That made her a crowd favorite with the toddlers and younglings . 

“I still don’t think your choice of a career is smart. These fanged little beasts are impossible to control... ” She commented mildly, watching me stuff two whole cartons of baby wipes into the huge backpack I had propped against the bed. I’d forgotten to restock the day care with wet wipes and it was sheer luck that I had a pair of them lying around my room.

The very idea of entering a room full of babies and toddlers without baby wipes, made me shudder. 

“Listen, they’re absolute angels when you listen to what they’re saying. Just because babies can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have preferences. All you really need to do is find out what each kid likes and help them feel comfortable -”

“Please stop.” She rolled her eyes and I glared at her.

“I’m a little thirsty. Can i have a sip..” She said softly and I frowned.

“You haven’t drunk from me the entire day. Are you okay?” I held my wrist out.

She shrugged , grabbing my wrist and casually sinking her fangs into the vein . Pain bloomed, familiar and somehow comforting , replaced almost at once by the gentle numbing of her venom. She drank a little and pulled back soon after, linking the puncture wounds for good measure. I watched the skin knit itself together , whole and unmarred in no time. 

Perks of being immortal. 

The knock on the door made me jump. 

“Ms Hwang?” Jungkook’s soft, husky voice came floating through the door and I grinned, cheeks aching with how wide my smile was.

“You look like a maniac. Stop smiling.” My sister looked a little alarmed and I struggled to rearrange my features. Sticking my tongue out at her, I grabbed my sweatshirt, slipping it overhead quickly. I glanced at the mirror, grimacing a bit. 

Being with toddlers meant no make up or hair left free.... and so I had a messy top bun, and just lip gloss to look presentable. While the entire party teemed with gorgeous vampires in low cut gowns and blood red lips. 

Ugh. 

I grabbed the backpack and waved to Somi.

“Come as soon as you can alright?” I begged her and she waved me off.

I rushed to the door, throwing it open and smiling wide.

“Hi oppa.” I said cheerfully.

“I’m not your oppa.” Jungkook said automatically, barely glancing at me and instead reaching for the backpack. He directed me to the stairwell on the side, the one that led straight down to the ground floor and out into the gardens. He went in first and  I followed him,  climbing down carefully. 

I sighed, taking in the mouth watering width of his shoulders, encased in a perfectly fitted jacket. He looked so handsome I wanted to cry. And although he’d been here for a whole week month now, I hadn’t managed to get into his good graces. 

“What do I call you, then?” I made to hold his hand when we reached the end of the staircase  but he shook my arm off at once.

Did I tell you that he really can’t stand me for some reason? 

“As I’ve  mentioned a dozen times already, Mr. Jeon would suffice.” He said shortly. He held the door leading out into the gardens open and I walked through. 

“That makes you seem so old.” I grimaced, shaking my head and he gave me an amused look.

“I am 576 years old.” He deadpanned. The daycare cottage was just a five minute walk from the mansion and the pathway through the garden was absolutely beautiful, well lit and covered in the brightest flowers. 

I waved off his excuse about his age. 

“you don’t look a day over twenty five to me.” I said with a shrug. He shook his head, clearly too tired to carry the conversation on. We walked in silence and I felt incredibly content, just with him near.

 And he was going to be by my side for the rest of our lives, I thought softly. I would make sure of it. I’d never felt this way about anyone. Jungkook was a good man , evident in literally everything he did. He was kind, an amazing father and such a gentleman that he made me melt. 

Jungkook had been turned at the age of 35. And so he sailed through eternity with the gorgeous good looks of a mature , well kept man. His hair was thick, just a slight bit of grey peppering the edges and his features were sharp and well defined. 

“Is Joowon in the daycare already?” I asked with a smile and he nodded curtly. 

“He has Mr. Pepper with him. He refused to leave him behind. please just make sure he still has him with him when he leaves. He can’t fall asleep without the bunny “ He said softly and I felt my heart bloom ten sizes.

“Of course, I will -”

“Jungkook !!!” The shrill voice broke the stillness of the night like a hammer through a mirror. 

I turned around with a frown only to be greeted by the sight of a very pretty, very tall vampire in a blood red bodycon dress and a neckline that plunged all the way to her belly button. She had ruby red lips, and well made eyes. Eyes that now flashed red , dilating as they ran up and down his body. 

I felt myself clenching my fists. 

“I’m getting late....we need to go, I grabbed his arm trying to tug him along but he didn’t budge. i glanced at his face and felt my heart shatter at the small smile playing around his lips.

“Helena..... Surprise seeing you here....” He drawled, voice so much deeper than usual and I bit my lips. They knew each other? 

The vampire had reached us now and she gave me a disdainful smile.

“Who’s this?” She asked with a laugh, “ Are you babysitting now, Jeon?”

I bristled. To my utter chagrin, Jungkook laughed to.

“She’s the kid I’m watching. The Immortal human  of the Hwang clan.” He intoned dully. 

The lady’s brows went up in surprise.

“:The rumors are true, ....The Hwang clan’s hidden jewel.....with skin like the rarest pearl and eyes that steal souls. Fiercely guarded ...a beauty like no other.... I thought they were exaggerating, but I see they were not. . You’re exquisite.” She commented , seemingly genuine in the compliment as her eyes roved over my features. 

“ Um.. thanks?” I shrugged, not particularly flattered by the extravagant description.  

The poets in my clan tended to be a bit overdramatic at times. 

. She laughed.

“Are you unavailable for the night, then Jeon?” She turned her flashing eyes on him .

My jaw nearly dropped.

Did this bitch really just proposition-

“Afraid so.... Raincheck?” Jungkook smiled wide and he looked so beautiful that I had to bit my lips to stop from moaning. 

Helena waved softly, eyes shifting back to me.

“Be safe, little human. When the sun goes down, the ghouls come out to play.” She grinned wide, letting her fangs grow long, past her lower lip, eyes red and bloody. 

I stared right back. She laughed and waved before floating away into the night. 

Jungkook chuckled. 

“You’re not intimidated by us, then.” He said mildly as we began walking again.

“I spent the entirety of my childhood playing with vampires. Do you really think they didn’t spend every waking hour trying to scare me to death?” 

He gave me soft smile, and then went back to staring straight ahead. 

I relaxed when the familiar cottage came into view, the sound of laughing kids reaching me. 

I held my hand out for the backpack and Jungkook gave it to me.

“I’ll just check out the backyard and see if al the gates are secure and then I’ll be right outside the door, alright? Call out if you need me...” He said sharply 

“Will you come even if I call you oppa?” I bit my lips, grinning and he flicked my nose. 

“Behave.” He said shortly. I sighed.

“I’m not a kid, you know.” I said softly and he gave me a look.

“You are to me. Now get inside.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There’s a monster behind the tree and I’m Hawkeye because I have the bow and arrow and Jieun is the princess.” Joowon said brightly, showing off the toy bow and arrow in his hand and I grinned, taking in his exquisite features. He looked strikingly like his father , except for the two adorable dimples that showed up everytime he smiled.

“That’s amazing... do you like fighting monsters?” I asked with a grin holding my arms out for him and he hugged me happily.

“Yes, I like fighting monsters and I like Mr. Pepper.” He waved the stuffed bunny in my face. 

“Make sure you keep him safe, alright? “ I stroked the soft skin of the 

“So what color does your daddy like?” I asked with a grin. I felt a sharp kick on my shin and I turned to my sister. 

“Don’t use the fucking kid for your sinful aims, you dingbat!” She hissed and I glared at her. 

“I did no such thing...I was just making conversation....” I hissed back.

“Dad likes black.” Joowon answered dutifully and I ruffled his hair. Jieun appeared then, having waited for her prince and gotten bored. She tugged on Joowon’s arm and I let him go, watching the two of them run off. 

“Its only been a month, Sera.... I think you should tone down the infatuation. You know dad would never approve.” My sister said gently and I frowned.

“No he won’t, Dad loves me , he wants me to be happy.” I said shortly. 

“Yes, but not with Jungkook. He’s a rogue vampire. He doesn’t have a clan. He has a kid ...”

“An angel of a kid...”

“he has a kid whose mother he had to kill because she was a bloodthirsty witch.” 

i stared at my sister feeling anger build inside me.

“What does any of that have to do with how I feel about him?” I demanded , moving to stop one of the littles from tripping over a stray rubik’s cube. 

“ You’re special. You’re being courted by some of the richest, most powerful  vampires in the country and you want to go after the rogue , broke vampire who’s only here because he needs the money and the safety of our clan?” 

“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I said firmly.

Somi sighed.

“I’m just saying. Don’t be so blatantly open about your feelings. You’ll be putting a target on Jungkook’s back.” 

I exhaled sharply. 

“If anyone tries to hurt him, they die.” I said softly.

Somi chuckled.

“I know.... but still, he’s not looking for trouble. Don’t bring it to his doorstep.” 

I didn’t reply, moving quickly to the other side of the room. 

the words left a bitter taste on my tongue.

Mostly because my sister was right. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i stared at the tall strapping vampire, trying to comprehend what I was hearing.

“What do you mean he isn’t here for the night?” I demanded. 

“He’s a little tired. He told me had a little too much to drink and he wants to sleep it off. I’ll be here instead ... Just for tonight.” He tried to smile reassuringly and I was momentarily distracted by very deep dimples  but I could feel myself fuming. 

“and he didn’t think of saying that to me himself? He had to run off while i was closing up the cottage?” I glared. 

The Vampire chuckled. 

“He told me you might protest.”

“Of course i protest, I feel safer with him...” I said sharply.

The Vampire gave me a deep sigh.

“I’ve been doing this for three centuries, Miss Hwang. You’re definitely safe with me.” He bowed his head.

“What’s your name?” I demanded. 

“Kim Namjoon.” 

“Fine , Kim Namjoon ssi.... Let’s go. “ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giving Namjoon the slip was a lot easier than I thought. I waited for him to greet my great uncle, and slipped between two waiters carrying blood cocktails and weaved into the crowd easily. 

Jungkook’s bedroom was next to mine and it took me less than a minute to race up the stairs and to his room.

i banged on the door , determined to see for myself just how drunk he’d gotten. 

The door opened and i took a deep breath.

“How dare you leave me-” 

I froze when I realized that he was shirtless, fresh out of the shower. Water dripped down his torso , like little starbursts of liquid light and my mouth went dry. I swallowed, staring at the tightly packed abs, the dip of his v line as it disappeared into a fluffy white towel.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled angrily.

My eyes flew to meet his and then my gaze caught something red on his bed and I peered over his shoulder.

Pain lanced through my heart so sharp that I felt like I’d taken a fucking brick to my chest. 

The sight of Helena, naked except for a red bra, stretched out on his bed got burned into my brain and I choked.

“You-” I began but he grabbed my arm, so hard that I knew I would bruise. He yanked me away from the threshold of his room, dragging me to the middle of the hallway as he slammed the door to his room shut.

“Where the fuck is Namjoon?”

“You ditched me to get laid? “ I hissed in disbelief.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this-”

“Is she your girlfriend-”

“Sera-” he shook me again but I refused to back down. I had to know.

“Are you in love with her?!!!” I demanded, my heart breaking .

Jungkook growled.

“It’s none of your damned business!!” He snapped angrily .

“It is !!” I said shrilly.

“Why on earth-”

“Because I’m in love with you!!” I shouted and he froze. 

He let go of me like he’d been burned and stepped back, staring at me wide eyed,. 

“What did you just say?” He demanded.

“I want you. I want you to court me-”

“Sera stop.” He said sharply 

“I’m not joking...I like you and-”

“Shut up.” He growled, his voice shaking. 

I swallowed.

“If you say something as asinine as that to me , ever again... I  will  make you regret it. ” He warned softly.

I felt my heart jerk in panic.

“Jungkook-”

“It’s Mr. Jeon to you!!!” He growled. 

I bit my lips, staring at my feet.

“I’m going to pretend this never happened. You’re going to go to your room and wait for Namjoon. If anything like this ever happens again, I’m telling your father.” 

I laughed bitterly.

“I’m not fucking twelve years old you son of a bitch. Stop talking to me like I’m your toy or something !” I snarled.

“If you were my toy I would fucking spank you till you cry and lock you in a damn room!” He hissed. 

I flinched.

He took a deep shaky breath. 

“This never happened.” He said sharply. “ I’m not one of your boytoys. I have no interest in fledgling humans who know nothing about life. That's not the kind of woman I’m looking for. You’re not the kind of woman I’m looking for because you aren’t even a woman yet.” 

“ Jungkook !!!” Namjoon’s voice rang through the hallway and I stepped back. 

“Have a good night with your whore, Mr. Jeon.” I snapped, before turning on my heel and leaving. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Hot DILF! Vampire Jungkook is hot.  This brings back fond memories of me panting after my husband as a nineteen year old brat . I was a devilish teenager smitten with a twenty seven year old man. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed :D

[call-me-aesthetic]

If Twisted Wonderland was an American Public School

WARNING: There are some slight sensitive topics that are featured in here! Reader discretion is advised!

Part 2 can be found here

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

- That one preppy girl who takes all honors and AP classes 😑

- Wants everyone to know that he’s becoming a doctor one day for his strict parents or he’ll dishonor the family

- Reminds the teacher about homework, knowing well that he’ll get slander for it

- Complains about how he got a 90 on his test or a B on his report card, a try hard much?

- Wears a cardigan with thicc but cute glasses since he’s one of those people with can’t see shit on the board so he has to move to the front of the class

Ace Trappola:

- The SoundCloud rapper, that’s it

- “Wanna listen to my mixtape? It’s pretty fire, my guy.” 😩🔥

- You will not miss him BLASTING out some song on his Bluetooth speaker, that shit be echoing through the hallways

- Tells you to stop what you’re doing only for him to either sing horribly or do a backflip, thinking that he’s so cool

- Wears a Supreme jacket with AirPods and waves on his head

Deuce Spade:

- Assuming that he’s still a delinquent, he’s that kid with the most fucked up school record

- Not much of a bully but will still talk shit to your face without caring, might even throw stuff at you during a lesson and you would be the one getting in trouble instead of him 🗿

- If he ever gets mad, it would be overdramatic like kicking the desks, punching the lockers, or walking out of the classroom unannounced and everyone would look at each other wondering wtf happened

- Covers the entire desks with drawings of skulls and those “s” if you know what I mean

- Wears Champion hoodies, wants you to know that he’s broke and rich at the same time

Trey Clover:

- The guy that’s not really popular but everyone knows him since he’s in all their classes

- Most people might have a crush on him because he’s REALLY nice 😳👉👈

- Gives off “older brother” vibes based on the way he looks and acts, like offering you a ride home if you beg ask nicely

- Secretly bakes creme brulee but doesn’t want to mess with the flow so he sticks to the status quo

- Wears the school’s hoodie just because he thinks it looks good on him, and the fact that he doesn’t know what else to wear

Cater Diamond:

- Hot Cheetos girl 🥵

- Has a whole buffet of food in his backpack and will not hesitate to eat them during a lesson, no sharing either sorry

- Excuses himself to the bathroom or full on skips class just to film a Tiktok

- Has about 100 followers on Instagram Magicam and brags about how he’s famous

- Wears a Thrasher hoodie with large hoop earrings and his hair in a bun

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

- The kid who flunked their freshman year that also sort of vibes with new classmates

- Always gets mistaken as a teacher by people since he looks and sounds old

- Knows the lessons but still fails them anyways, didn’t really give a damn either 🙄

- Captain of every sports club you can think of, never actually plays but has a lot of knowledge on them

- Wears the school’s letterman from years ago since it used to be his brother’s and that he’s too lazy to buy a new one

Ruggie Bucchi:

- That one kid who NEVER has money for the book fair or any other school event

- Always has to ask his classmates for some cash

- If he somehow does, then he’s one of those kids who buys Diary of the Wimpy Kid or the World Record books

- If he’s feeling cheap, he’ll buy the “cool stuff” like the chocolate scented calculator or fruit snacks 😭

- Wears oversized hoodies and basketball shorts that are clearly hand-me-downs

Jack Howl:

- That one athletic kid who’s both scary good and competitive when it comes to school games like football or soccer

- Literally the best player on his team and without him, they’re trash as hell 💀

- Tries his absolute best to support his teammates without yelling at them for how dumb they are

- “KICK THE FUCKING BALL! DO YOUR LEGS EVEN WORK?!”

- Wears the school’s jersey just to show off his “school spirit”

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

- The kid who sell snacks for “charity” but everyone knows he’s keeping the money to himself

- If you don’t have cash or try to negotiate with him, the only thing he’ll do is raise the price up

- “What do you mean you don’t have ten bucks? I can see it in your pocket.”

- Just bring nothing with you, he’ll doing anything to steal your stuff 🤭

- Wears a collar shirt with a tie and khakis that have pockets to keep his glasses and money in

Jade Leech:

- The kid who puts on a goody two shoes facade but is actually a stoner

- Only does “safe” drugs like vape but occasionally smokes weed, mostly in the bathroom or behind the school 🌬

- Can play it off and hide the scent when he’s high, teachers never suspect anything from him

- No one really cares to stop him unless he gets caught or something idk

- Wears clothing that either makes him look like a businessman or a junky, there’s nothing in between

Floyd Leech:

- The kid that’s plays basketball or volleyball just because he’s hella tall, and is actually good at the sports but doesn’t put much effort into them

- Always stays behind after gym, even though the teacher tries to make him leave for his next class 😬

- “I swear after this one shot, I’ll go to class.” *He never made that shot*

- Will jump you no matter who or where you are, and will get angry if you step on his new shoes

- Wears the jersey of any famous team with the latest pair of Jordan sneakers

Scarabia

Kalim Al Asim:

- VSCO girl at best, don’t lie to me now 🤡

- The only words he knows are “And I oop– sksksk.” and “Save the turtles.”

- Walks during a track meet while everyone else is running and sweating hard, the teacher doesn’t care either

- Doesn’t really do anything in gym but talks to his classmates and stands near the water fountain to refill his Hydro flask

- Wears tie dye shirts with cute scrunchies

Jamil Viper:

- That one quiet kid who everybody thinks is a serial killer but he’s actually not, I swear

- He just wants school to be over and spend the rest of his summer relaxing 😔

- Although he shouldn’t abuse his “power,” he‘ll move his hands in his pockets or backpack to make it look like he’s about to pull a weapon out.

- “Chill, I’m just grabbing a pencil.” *Everyone in the class started crying*

- Wears dark colored hoodies that intimidates people but are actually comfy

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

- The baddie popular girl 😌💅✨

- Arrives to school late with a Starbucks in hand from his local Target

- Fixes himself every 5 seconds like reapplying his lipgloss or spraying Bath and Body Works cherry blossom perfume

- Uses acrylic nails and long hair extensions as weapons during a cat fight

- Wears a crop top with ripped jeans and those clout sunglasses

Rook Hunt:

- That creepy guy in the hallways who tries to get your attention, even if you don’t know him

- Scares people when he says, “Ayo, where my hug at?” 🥶💯

- Uses at least 10 cans of Axe body spray a week after gym class, which stinks up the locker rooms

- Waves at you if he passes your class, even walking into the room just to say hi

- Wears literally anything but always include a hat

Epel Felmier:

- The artist girl who just wants to be alone 🧑‍🎨

- Purposely draws in front of you but pretends like you’re not looking

- If you complement him, he’ll just brush it off and proceeds to diss himself

- “Thanks but I’m not THAT good at drawing, teehee.” *Insert Radio Rebel face*

- Wears a hoodie or a cardigan with big pockets to put his art supplies in

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

- I don’t even need to tell you who he is, y’all already know ahaha 🥴

- Sneaks a whole PlayStation in his backpack so he can play with it during lunch

- Is on his phone 24/7 even in class to the point where teachers don’t care anymore

- Tries to get people into anime but only to little success

- Wears a shirt of any anime character or that damn ahegao hoodie, girl bye

Ortho Shroud:

- The nerdy kid who’s known for destroying others at many games

- Plays classics like D&D, Yugioh, Pokémon, the whole shabang

- Daily Beyblade battles during recess with everyone surrounding him, the menacing aura radiates off of him

- Will steal your things if you lose to him but gives it back a week later cuz he’s sweet 🥰

- Wears light up Sketchers shoes and those Minecraft shirts you find at Old Navy

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

- The theatre kid who also goes to band practice, change my mind 👁👄👁

- Takes his role seriously when it comes to school plays and concerts, even if he gets casted as a damn tree or doesn’t go solo

- Remembers the songs and their lyrics to any musical you name, a really good singer at that too

- Plays almost every instrument, you definitely know this since you can hear him down the hallways during a test

- Wears a white button up shirt, black pants with fancy dress shoes, and top it all off with a fricking Rolex watch

Lilia Vanrouge:

- The weird guy who pranks people and vandalizes school property in every way possible

- If you ever get a textbook with a message that tells you to go to a certain page only for you to found a picture of a dick, yeah that was him 😒

- When using a Chromebook, he’ll leave a tab open on YouTube so when the next person uses it, pray that your ears will still work by tomorrow

- During lunch, he is a literal DEMON that mixes milk with chicken nuggets together and having the audacity to eat it too

- Wears an oversized raincoat or a windbreaker but idk wtf kind of things he has hiding underneath

Silver:

- That guy in class who consumes Monster energy drinks and falls asleep 99% of the time but somehow manages to pass the class 🤷

- Whenever he’s awake, he’ll talk to the teachers since he’s basically friends with them for some reason

- Writes his name out of boredom on any desk you sit on but in different places, sometimes around the corners or the sides

- Has a sixth sense because he’ll wake up if you try to draw on his face and if you did get something on him, it’s on sight

- Wears those colorful hoodies that zips all the way up to cover his face with a matching backpack, it’s pretty cool ngl

Sebek Zigvolt:

- That kid who literally knows everything about historical wars and will show it off during class

- Also has knowledge on weaponry, which has people questioning him but he’s just very dedicated on serving his country and people

- Knows how to fight and defend himself from a bitch since he spent his summer at a military boot camp, put respect on my man’s name 😤

- Honestly a great partner for a group project, actually does the given work but not the whole thing for you

- Wears anything that has camo pattern and chunky combat boots

I only made this because me and my friends were talking about our school memories so yeah. This is based from my experience so they might not be exactly accurate. Might even be a part two if you want.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Mom got lost again” - Batfam x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : Little snippets about how “Batmom” (reader) will never find her way in the Mansion. But it’s fine, really, because she can always count on her husband and children to “save” her.  //DRABBLE

So. I was watching one of those “Architect’s digest” video on YouTube where they visit houses that are millions and millions of dollars worth, and besides the fact that I was thinking “wow look at all those beautiful things I’ll never be able to afford”, I couldn’t shake another thought off…and that was that I would totally get lost in many of those houses. Like, the way some are designed, they’re literally Dedalus’ labyrinth my dudes. So anyway, here’s not-really-a-fic-nor-a-drabble for you, a sort of snippet kind of thing, about this. Hope you’ll like it : 

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Before the kids

“Hey Alfred, where’s (Y/N) ?”

He asks, one early evening as he just got home from work and knows you were going to meet up with him at his place.

“Oh Lady (Y/L/N) wanted to go see the library, so I took her there.”

“Thank you.”

Bruce arrives in the library, but you’re nowhere to be found. Wondering where you went he calls you but it seems like your cell don’t have any battery anymore. He starts to walk around the West Wing, looking in every room and…Finally, he finds you.

You’re sitting down against a wall in the corridor, looking discouraged, staring at your dead phone. You spot him and jump to your feet, looking very relieved. You then rush in Bruce’s arms, he catches you in extremis and you exclaims :

“Oh my god ! Bruce ! I love you !”

Insert a lot of kisses on his cheeks a really huge hug, as if you haven’t seen him in ages. But I mean, getting lost any place is sort of distressing, and you looooove that man. So much.

A little confuse, although always happy to have your affection, he asks : 

“What…is going on ?”

“I got lost…”

“You got lost ?”

"You have a very big house.”

Highly amused, Bruce responds : “I do.”

“So I got lost.”

“Ah. And what were you doing sitting there ?”

“Well…My parents always taught me to stay where I was, if I ever got lost somewhere, so when they’d came to look for me we’d be sure to see each others instead of passing right next to each others a thousand times…”

Bruce can’t help but burst out in laughter. Even more so that you genuinely looks like a kid that got separated from her parents. And oh, oh you love his laughter. 

It’s always a feat, when you can hear it. Especially when it comes from the heart like right now, when he genuinely laughs this deep beautiful laugh, because he’s happy. Because you make him happy. 

He’s not laughing at you, he just laughs because...You’re too much sometimes. 

And exactly what he needs. Too much is good, for a man like him.

He takes your hand and shows you around one more time. 

But he can see that even so, you can’t seem to remember the layout of the house, and you getting lost will happen again for sure. 

And he’s right. He showed you around his manor so many times, yet it seems you just can’t remember certain places. Like you memorized the places you go the most, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, access to the Batcave...and most of the time you find your way around easily (albeit sometimes still a little lost). 

But there’s entire areas of the house you try not to venture in or...it ends with Bruce coming to your rescue. Or Alfred. But he usually leaves Bruce to do it, as the man just...loves the way you two love each others. 

It’s always rather cute. And it warms the butler’s heart. 

Never in his wildest dream would he ever have thought that his Master Bruce would find someone like you. Someone accepting and understanding, and loving him unconditionally. And someone that Bruce loved fully in return, and whom he cherished above all. 

Yes. Alfred often let Bruce go on the hunt for you across the Manor, simply because he shipped you both since the very first time he saw you together, and he thoroughly enjoyed when his Master Bruce was acting like a lovesick puppy around you. When he was acting like a “normal” man, just hopelessly in love with his wife. 

And it was so pure, and beautiful.

So what if sometimes you’d wait a little long, lost in those endless corridors ? Alfred knew that Bruce would find you. Always. And that when he did, as usual, you would make Bruce’s heart melt, and he’d feel happy just by seeing you and...honestly it was all wort it. 

Bruce sometimes suspect you do it on purpose. That you get lost just so he can find you. And honestly ? He really doesn’t mind... 

Saved by the little bird

"Over a year of living here, I swear I still can’t...where...wait, didn’t I just pass this damn yet-again-another-living room ?! Aaaah what the fuck why is everything looking the same. Fucking shit. What a shitastrophy. Fucking cockburger son of a bitchtits little f-”

“Um...Are you ok, mom ?”

Oh sssshhhh...Alfred wouldn’t be happy with you for swearing around your young son. Dick was only eight, after all. 

He had started to call you “mom” since very recently, and it always made your heart skip a beat. Made you feel utterly happy. 

As the boy came in behind you from the corridor, you were about to kick a potted plant out of frustration (another thing that Alfred wouldn’t be very happy about). You turn around, slowly get your foot back on the floor, and say : 

“Um. I got um...Lost...” 

“Lost ?” 

“Yes...I just...can’t get used to the size of this house. I wanted to get something that Alfred said was in the East wing, which is somewhere I never really go. And um...”

“You got lost.”

“Yes. Don’t make fun of me ok, your dad is already enough.” 

“I wasn’t going to make fun of you !” 

Your son says, a little virulently, as if offended you’d ever think such a thing ! You smile at him, because how sweet could this kid get really ? 

“Alright little buddy, sorry I ever made such an assumption. So, if you’re not gonna mock me...maybe you can save me then ?”

“Save you ?” 

“Well, I’m lost. And you don’t seem lost.” 

“That’s because I’m not, I always found my way out of the labyrinths in fun fairs very easily !” 

He tells you, smiling widely, excited at the prospect of helping you. 

“Where do you need to go ?” 

“Let’s try to get to the kitchen.” 

“I know the way ! Come on !” 

He takes your hand in his little one, and drags you behind him, leading you across corridors and rooms up until...

“Here !” 

He tells you, smiling widely. And it’s so cute, because he’s missing a few teeth and his smile is just so pure...You just want to squish his little face and hug him to death. 

“Ah my savior ! What can I ever repay you with ?” 

You ask, taking an overdramatic tone of voice, knowing little Dickie always loved when you two played pretend and such. He takes the gruffest voice he can and says : 

“Well, my lady can repay me with...um...Cookies, yes I think cookies will do !” 

“Cookies ? Well this sounds fair, for this dashing saving you just did ! Macadamia or chocolate chip ?” 

“Both ?” 

“Both it is !” 

It happened many times, that you paid your oldest son with cookies, after he saved you from getting lost in your own house...Even as an adult, he’d demand payment of fresh cookies, and then would go show them off to his siblings, refusing to share, as the “good” older brother he was haha. 

Lost together

You find Jason in one of the many gaming room, while you were trying to get to the kitchen. You know for a fact that there are no gaming rooms on the way to the kitchen, but you can’t really figure out where you messed up...Was it when you went left after the third bathroom ? Or when you took the stairs down right before one of the mezzanine ? Wait, did that mezzanine have a piano ? Because if it did then it was the right way, if it didn’t, then you were on the other side of the damn house. Or maybe just right next to...Yeah ok. Lost again. 

But you found Jason. 

Maybe he could help ? 

The boy was sitting in a huge comfortable leather armchair, reading a book. When he heard you come in the room, he snapped his head up and a huge smile illuminated his cute little face. 

“Finally ! Mom !” 

He jumps off the armchair, putting down his books, and goes to jump in your arms. Then he says : 

“I was trying to go to the arcade room ! Because I wanted to beat your high score on Tekken, but I always only followed someone there, and I can’t find it anymore...” 

Ah. The arcade. One of the only room you sort of knew where to find...If you started from the front door. Or your bedroom. Not from a random room god knew where in the mansion. 

Why was this house so big ??? 

“I’m sorry to bother you with this, I know I should’ve paid more attention when Alfred showed me, but it’s just-”

Oh no. Oh no the little one was looking at you worryingly, probably because you weren’t responding, and he thought he was being a pain. 

Little Buddy always thought he was bothering people...So hurriedly, you said : 

“Oh no no Jason, you’re not bothering me at all ! It’s just um..I’m um...I’m sort of lost too.” 

“You are ?”

“I am.” 

“Really ?” 

“Really.” 

“Well damn.” 

“Haha right ? Usually your father or Dick would save me. Or Alfred.”

“Yeah same.”

“I actually rarely walk around alone now that I think about it.” 

“Yeah same !”

There’s a short pause, where you look at each others and smile at this little moment. And then, as you slowly both realize that you’re lost, IN YOUR OWN HOME, and the ridiculousness of the situation down on you, you explode in laughter. 

You end up getting back to the armchair, and Jason settles comfortably in your lap as you continue to read the book he was reading, out loud, and he listens to you happily. Nobody ever really read him stories before you and Bruce... 

Bruce finds the both of you later in the day, fast asleep in the armchair, Jason latched on your arm as you hug him to you. 

He finds the sight so adorably charming. He sits down next to the two of you, enjoying this moment of quiet and peace. And then he picks up the book you were reading, reading it himself...Ah. It’s one of his favorite childhood book. 

He reads it, waiting for you two to wake up, not wanting to disturb your sleep. 

It’s rare, that he has some free time. And he really doesn’t mind spending it watching over his sleeping wife and son, waiting for them to wake up and guide their way back to the part of the house they know...

Damn. Damn he loves them so much. 

"I memorized the blueprints” 

“And see, here’s a secret passage !” 

The boy says excitedly, as he shows you and Bruce a hidden door in one of the wall, behind a heavy tapestry. 

“...Wait...I didn’t even know that was there...How did...What ?” 

Your husband asks, half-confused, half-impressed, with maybe a little hint of hurt pride in there as well...it’s his house after all. 

“I memorized the blueprints of the house that are in the library.” 

The little one says, smiling widely at his new father. Bruce responds : 

“I have those blueprints, I never saw this secret passage ever in my life.” 

“You must have the “official” blueprints, the one Allan Wayne gave to others. The blueprints in the library, the ones I found, were tucked away inside one of the book and showed more than the “official” ones. Your great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a very paranoid man, I assume he pulled a Madame Winchester on the builders.” 

“Madame Win...Huh ?” 

“You know, famous Winchester mansion ? Super haunted ? She gave instructions to many different people to build certain things and there isn’t really blueprints that shows a correct layout of everything ?”

“Right...Sure...” 

“I assume you were too busy building the bat cave to really pay attention to the house. But it’s quite a wonder ! There’s so many new secrets I haven’t discovered yet !” 

A soft, tender smile spreads on your husband’s face as he looks down at Tim. Bruce says : 

“That’s quite a discovery you found there my boy, and you say you memorized it already ?” 

“It was easy, I just had to keep in mind the-”

And then Tim started to get lost in long complicated explanation that you didn’t understand, while your husband seemed very interested. 

You couldn’t help but smile. How cute...

Today, you were sort of glad, that you got very lost in your own home again, and got saved by little Timmy. He hadn’t lived in the house for very long by that time, but already knew it even better than Bruce, apparently. 

It was so nice, to have such a sweet little on in your life again...Dick hadn’t been by in a while, busy with the titans. And Jason...

You didn’t want to think about Jason. 

Or at least, not in the way you would end up thinking about him. You wanted to remember his smiles, and how he always got lost too in this house. Not...Not...the broken body Bruce brought back...You...

You shooed the memory away, and focused on your son. 

Tim was now going on and on about how he found really cool places that weren’t on the normal blueprints, and how he wanted to show Bruce and you. 

And Bruce was smiling. For the first time in ages. Your husband was smiling, faced with such an excited little one. 

So yes. Yes, today you were glad you got lost in your own home, and that your tiny son found you and showed you the way. That it lead you to ask him how the hell was he that fast in memorizing the house’s layout, and then him explaining things about the blueprints. 

And consequently, how Bruce and him started to truly bond, started to talk about the house and about the Wayne legacy...

It was nice. To finally see your husband smile again. Propelled by a sudden surge of motherly love, you hugged Tim tight, and the boy, a bit confused at first, hugged you back without much questions. 

And this sight. 

His wife and his son hugging. 

It warmed Bruce’s heart in a way his heart hadn’t been warmed since he lost Jason. 

Yes. It was good, that sometimes you’d get lost in your own damn house. 

This is a fun game

By the time Cassandra came into your life, this “mom got lost again” thing became sort of a game. It was about who would find you first, when they realized you were lost. 

You’d be gone a little too long after saying : “I’m gonna go get the ice cream in the freezer”, and they knew. It was time to set a party to find you. 

“3, 2, 1...GO !” And they’d run in each different direction, searching for you. 

The winner gets cookies. Baked by you... 

Cass liked that game. 

Because even if she lost, she would’ve spend quality times with her family. Fun times. Looking for her beloved mother. 

Mother. 

The only mother she ever had. 

Mom. 

It’s a word that always easily rolled off her tongue. 

Mom. 

“Found, mom.” 

You jumped a little in the air, as your only daughter suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She was looking at you upside down, and it took you a little bit to realize she was actually dangling off in a very spider-man way off of the floor just above. She must’ve heard your footsteps (or more likely, your growls about being lost again). 

She jumped off, and you felt your heart stop, suddenly fearing she would fall down but..Not, she agilely jumps over the rail, and is in front of you, smiling. 

Finding you was Cass’ favorite game. Because when she did, you’d always look at her fondly, give her a hug, and praise her for being the best.

And for someone like Cassandra, who grew up treated like an emotionless machine by a man who never viewed her as more than a weapon...it felt nice, to have such a loving person in her life. 

When Cass thought of you, her mind filled with bright colors, and her heart with warmth. Because she grew up never learning how to speak, her thoughts didn’t quite work in words like most people, but in colors and temperatures. 

And you, you were reassuring colors and soothing warmth. 

Mom. 

Such a simple word. Yet it took her a while to be able to even say it. 

Now she could speak, in big thanks to you. And her father.

She loved you guys so much. So much. 

She loved you. 

“Mom.” 

She says, reaching a hand for yours. And you take it, smiling once more, shaking your head and apologizing that you made her look for you...Oh. 

Oh but she doesn’t mind. None of them do. 

Because when they find you. When they “save you”, you always look at them with such unconditional love. No matter what. 

Finding you is Cass’ favorite game. 

It always leaves her feeling nice and warm, loved and safe. 

Finding you is Cass’ favorite game. 

And one day, she’ll be able to tell you all of that. One day, she’ll be able to tell you to never apologize, because she loves to look for you. She loves you. 

One day. One day she’ll talk to you about all of this. 

But for now, it was fine for both of you that her feelings translated in only smiles, affectionate touch, and one very important word...

“Mom”. 

“I won’t let you get lost !” 

Damian hated the mere idea of you being in any kind of distress. 

ANY kind. 

So when he learned that you would often get lost in the Manor, and even as everyone assured him it just sort of became an inside joke within the family, your youngest son took it upon himself to make sure you’d never get lost again. 

He started to put up signs everywhere in the house, giving indications as to where you were and where was what. Detailed little maps, arrows and such. Drawn by himself. It took him WEEKS to finally cover the entire Manor. 

It’s something no one ever thought of before because...Although you often got lost, it was always nice to try and find you, and well, you would still know your way around the part of the house you’d most go to. 

In fact, when you got lost, it was often because you’d go in a wing you didn’t know much for whatever reason, and they’d know where to look for you. 

So they never really saw a reason to make signs telling you the right way. Or yeah, they never really thought about it. 

But Damian...Damian was set to make the house “lost proof”.

As a result, you definitely didn’t get lost as many times. Which was...nice ? 

But once, at dinner, Dick was reminiscing of that one time you got lost in the attic for some reason, and couldn’t find your way out, and him and Jason had to get you, and how they laughed a lot and you praised them for saving you...

And Damian grew quiet. And upset. When you asked him why, he refused to answer, but the next day, you ventured in a part of the house you rarely went to so you could go fetch something and...

All the signs telling you which way to go were gone. Which didn’t worry you much, you knew you’d be found by one of your family member before long, or would just find your own way out after a while. 

But it was odd nonetheless. 

It’s only when Damian found you, and “saved” you that you understood why the signs weren’t on anymore. 

Damian too, wanted to “save” you from getting lost. Wanted to laugh with you because it was silly that you got lost in your own house. Wanted you to bake him cookies as a reward for saving him. Wanted to share those bonding moments with you...

It was so cute, and showed how far Damian really went since Talia first dropped him on your door, that you couldn’t help but hug the hell out of your baby. 

He was a little embarrassed, but hugged you back nonetheless. 

Yes. Yes Damian had come along way, since he first came into your life. He learned how to love, how it felt to be loved, and how...how sometimes he would crave for your attention. 

And so he took down the signs. So he could save you. So he could share this with you, just like you did share those moments with all his other siblings. 

He took down the signs, because you getting lost was an important inside joke of this family...And because he was, now, part of this family. 

What even is this place...

Duke thought he would never EVER find his way back in this new house. 

His bedroom was in...east wing ? West wing ? ...SOMEWHERE. 

The first few days of living there were overwhelming, and he constantly had to make sure he wasn’t far from one of the other family member because he was so afraid to get lost. 

He couldn’t remember the right way to anywhere. This was all too big. 

He grew up in a small two bedrooms apartment, in the heart of Gotham’s sludge. He could find his way in this gigantic city easily, knew the place like the back of his hand but...

The Manor ? 

It was uncharted territory. In every sense of the term. 

First it was on the outskirt of Gotham, in the hills, a place he never set foot in.

And then the house, but also the land around it was bigger than his neighborhood ! It was so foreign for him... 

But he hid this well. He hid the fact he was overwhelmed well. And just made sure he’d always be with someone when walking around the manor. 

He tried to remember the way they took, he really did. But every time he thought he got it, they’d use another way and he was totally lost again. 

Alfred showed him around the first day, but it was too many informations at the same time. Him and his ADHD couldn’t process it.  

What would you guys say, if he mentioned he was getting lost in the house ? Surely, you’d mock him. Or just feel sorry for him ? 

He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to know. Acclimating to this new life was already hard enough, what with discovering his meta-powers, having to deal with what happened to his parents, and living in this all new environment. 

You made it comfortable and easy for him. You were just so welcoming and loving. But it was still hard...he was only a boy. 

And so he said nothing. And now...now, lost and walking through corridors that all looked the same, he dearly regretted it. 

He turned a corner, and...there you were. 

“Oh, hey Dukie”. 

He smiled shyly, afraid you would know he was lost, and said : 

“Hi.” 

“What’s up ?” 

“Nothing, I was going to- I was exploring the house.” 

He was about to say he was trying to get to the movie theater, where Damian  and Cass were surely waiting for him by that time, so they could watch a movie. But what if he was totally off ? Far from where the home cinema was supposed to be ? 

“Exploring the house” sounded like a safe thing to say. 

“Oh, careful not to get lost haha. Happens to me all the time...” 

Wait...What ? Were you joking ? He wasn’t sure. 

“Actually, I’m lost right now. I wanted to take a shortcut from the kitchen to the bat cave to see Bruce -I miss him- -Yeah I know only saw him couple of hours ago-, but I must’ve taken a wrong turn...Somewhere...”

You were holding your chin in your hand now, trying to remember where you could possibly have taken the wrong turn. And Duke realized you were serious.

“You’re lost ?” 

“Yeaaaah. Go ahead, you can laugh. I know I’d laugh at myself too haha. I just could...never quite figure out how this house worked ? I grew up in a one bedroom apartment, sleeping in the living room with my brothers. And then when I moved in on my own I had an even smaller place. So. It’s a change. Even after all those years I’m still not quite used to it.”

“Ah me too ! I mean, I just can’t figure out the layout of this place !”

“Ah ? Hey, for you too, sometimes you think you definitely know where you’re going and then you find yourself outside in the garden and you just have no idea how you got there ?”

“Yes !!!! I was sure of my way so many times but then one wrong turn and...here I am.” 

“Well Duke, believe me I get it. I get it haha.” 

You then proceeded to tell him all the most embarrassing stories of you getting lost, including that one time at a charity event held in your house, someone asked you to take them to a certain place, and your asshole of a husband let you do it just because he knew you wouldn’t find the way, and because you getting lost with their guest was the only fun entertainment of the night. 

And this. 

This simple shared thing, of you two getting lost...

It was amongst the first time Duke really felt home. Really felt like he wasn’t alone. 

Those past few days had been difficult for him. This was all so new. 

And yet, with a few smiles, silly stories and support..You made him feel like he was truly home. And he didn’t even notice the hours you two passed, sat on the floor in that corridor, before Bruce found you and took you back to where you initially wanted to go...   

Saved by the littlest bird

Thomas is about eight, and you’re about to have a heart pinching flashback as he’s going to remind you of your first baby...

Dick was going to be almost thirty, by then. He was married, and with a kid on the way (I’m not here for ship wars, you chose with who he is, wether it’s Babs or Kori, or whoever else). Oh, how long ago it was, that his little eight years old hand would hold yours to guide you across the manor...

Too bad. Because right now, you definitely needed some help navigating around. Lost again. Ugh. T’was getting old. 

“Mommy...You’ve been living in this house for over 15 years now, how can you still get lost ?” 

Your littlest baby. Thomas. Appearing from around the corner, and as he saw you, rolling his eyes like never before. Yet smirking, in a very “Bruce” way. Ah. Like father, like son. 

“...”

Is your only answer. 

You avoid his judging gaze, but did it in a way that was overdoing it, so he knew you were just pretending to be embarrassed haha. He rolled his eyes, and then takes out a walkie talkie and says : 

“I found her Damdam, she’s in the West Wing near one of the drawing room. Over.” 

“Ok, thanks little buddy, let’s meet up in the kitchen, over.” 

“Ok cool, be right there, over.” 

This little exchange made you smile, oh those two were very close. Well, all your children were close. But Damian and Thomas had a little something, because they were the youngest, and because Damian took to heart his big brother role. He was also the only one still living in the manor by that time, all your other children having their own place in Gotham, going to college or already working...a wave of nostalgia threatened to take over you, and you quickly thought of something else. 

“Little buddy”, Damian called Thomas. Copying you for sure. How cute.  

“Come on mommy, I’ll take you back to the kitchen. You can make us cookies then, yes ?” 

“Of course my baby, any flavor you want.” 

“Well Damian will surely want the white chocolate chip ones, so I’m good with those too.” 

Thomas was such a sweet consilient boy. He didn’t really mind anything, and would follow you guys anywhere...as long as he could be with his family, and enjoy their presence, he just never minded. 

He definitely had a stubborn and strong personality, but he was still oh so sweet. And nice. Even if he did mock you a lot for getting lost in your own home...

“Where did you get the walkies ?” 

“Dick gave it to me last time he came, so we could cheat at hide and seek. Don’t tell Tim.” 

You chuckle, imagining how nuts your kids would get because Dick always goddamn won...

Ah and of course Dick would give a talkie to his littlest brother. To be honest, Thomas reminded you of Dick in lots of ways. 

They were both gentle, funny, sweet and nice...with outburst of anger and pride sometimes. Ah quite like Bruce too. You loved them all so damn much. 

“Now come mom, I think dad will be home soon too ! We can watch a movie before the patrol ! With cookies !!” 

You smile, and you take your son’s hand. Your youngest boy. Reminiscent of when Dick used to do this. All those years ago. 

Reminiscent of a time you didn’t feel so weak... 

(I’M SORRY I HAD TO ADD THIS LAST LINE FOR IT TO FIT IN THE WORLD I SORT OF MADE !! If you know you know). 

And if you’re wondering who the hell Thomas is : Polichinelle, “Go away, you’re confusing my baby”, Shaky steps and bad teaching, Master of Diaper, How do you make babies ?, What it means to be a big brother - By Damian Wayne and After Batmom’s death)

Bonus : There’s a moment, in one of the video I watched, where the guy showing the house off is basically like : “You might think this is a beautiful dining room…but it’s not, it’s a breakfast room”, and I had random flashes of Alfred showing the manor to one of the kids, or even to Batmom as she first comes to the house, and him talking about the “breakfast room”, and the boys/Batmom just not being able to get over the fact there’s a room that exist just to eat breakfast in…(wait till they see the personal SPA floor uh). Only Damian would be like : “Tt. Only one breakfast room ?” XD. Anyway. I thought I shared, because it made me laugh to imagine how ridiculous Wayne Manor is. Wait worst, in one of the video the people living in it had a room bigger than my entire apartment that existed for the SOLE PURPOSE OF CUTTING BOUQUETS OF FRESH FLOWERS ??????? That I’m sure they wouldn’t have. I mean, a garden that Alfred would cherish, for sure. But...an entire room just to cut FRESH (the dude really put an emphasis on that) flowers...My guy...what...

_________________________________________________

Ok the end. Hope you liked whatever my thoughts were on this Saturday night. I didn't put as much effort in this as I usually do and wrote it rather fast, hope it’s still ok, I just wanted to share a little something that wouldn't leave my head up until I finally wrote about it :). 

PS : Also it’s all sort of a joke I thought about, I know most people would probably find their way after living for ages in the same place, but ah you get what I meant haha. Also I get lost in my own basement sometimes because of how the layout is, so ya know...hahaha. 

[corpsedaydream]

I just like the concept of the reader going on and on about something and him with his head in his palms, total heart eyes "listing" to the one sided conversation

i think by some of the things i’ve written before we all know this is a trope i loooooooove lets do it

edit before posting: this has lowkey become one of my favourite things i’ve written on this account! omg i am rly proud of it and i hope u guys like it too 🥺🥺🥺 pls let me know what u think of it!

word count: 1.5k

_______________________________

carrots

so maybe you were a little bit of a picky eater. but you’d never be caught admitting to that, to yourself, or to anyone. when someone happened to bring it up, you would just say something along the lines of that, you were just peculiar about what you ate.

you still remember the first moment corpse had said something about it.

-

"you’re picky, aren’t you?” he’d asked and your eyes snapped up. he’d been watching and listening to you closely as your eyes scanned the menu. the first time he’d been witness to it. you had been babbling out loud about what sounded best to you, but then you would also mention things you would want to switch out and add in to make it even better. you were moreso talking to yourself, but corpse had been so zoned in on you. things between the both you were still so recent, he was still learning you and he liked to pay attention.

“i’m what?” you sounded offended. and corpse had to try really hard not to crack a smirk.

“you’re a little picky, right?” he also tried keeping his tone from becoming too teasing, yet.

“no.” your response was very quick, you were on the defence. and he couldn’t help but to smile then. he knew he was right.

“there’s nothing wrong if you are, i’m just wondering.”

“well stop wondering and figure out what you’re ordering and not worry about what i’m getting.” you were a little hangry at this point, too. another fact corpse had come to learn about you. if you didn’t eat when you announced you were hungry, it would only be a short amount of time until that hangry monster in you emerged.

“i already know what i’m getting.” he counteracted. 

“well, good.”

“because i’m not picky.” he couldn’t help himself but to tease you.

“i’m not picky! i just like what i like.”

-

ever since then, whenever the two of you had found yourselves in a situation where it involved reading a menu, he loved to watch you do it. you always took a lot longer than corpse to order, but he never minded. each time, you studied it like you were studying for an important exam and you would mumble audibly, lost in a quiet conversation between you and yourself. and how he loved to listen in, like it was exclusive information and corpse was a fly on the wall. he had made a habit of deciding on his food very quickly so he could give you his full attention for these moments.

still to this day, you weren’t aware he did this. you would be so caught up in reading the menu, figuring out how you were going to satisfy your picky eating habits that you’d never looked up to find your boyfriend looking so lovingly at you.

he then, would even love to see how you interacted with the staff when you did finally make up your mind and were ready to order. you always spoke to everyone as if they were a friend you hadn’t seen in a while. you were like no one else, so warm, so bright, so inviting. in world where social interaction could be so awkward, you thrived instead. you’d smile and make jokes, you were a social butterfly. sometimes, though, he’d catch himself feeling slightly jealous if the person working was getting a little too caught up in your words and getting a little too lost in your eyes. your words were for him to get caught up in, a soundtrack he’d play over and over if he could. and your eyes were for him to peer into, for him to wonder if the brain inside your head was made of something different to make you this enchanting.

but then you’d always look back to corpse and you’d give him a smile that was reserved for only him. a smile that no one else was lucky enough to witness. it was a smile that was made out of the genuine love you felt only for him. one that said, it’s okay, i’m with you, i’m yours. and he’d feel better. how could he not when that sunshine you radiated made it’s way into him and made him feel brighter.

"what’d you decide on?” he always asked you this. even though he’d just heard your thoughts leading up to your final decision. but he still liked to hear you answer him at a normal level, when you were actually engaging in conversation with him and he wasn’t just overhearing your spoken thoughts with yourself.

he wasn’t often surprised when you told him of your order, because of how much he already had listened to you. but tonight you did say something that surprised him.

“it comes with cooked carrots, but i just won’t eat them.”

“you love carrots?” he questioned, because he thought he was so sure of this. it was often a snack you had some days during sometime in the mid afternoon to tie you over until dinner. and you wouldn’t just eat one either, you’d eat about three or four. in fact, there’d been multiple times he’d told you if you ate that many carrots you wouldn’t be hungry for dinner.

“i do, but only fresh.” you answered him. “i hate cooked carrots.”

“are they not the same-”

“no!” immediately you cut him off, and instantly he was entertained. he knew right away this was going to turn into you going off on a tangent. you often would get oh so passionate about topics that didn’t require any actual level of passion, but oh how he loved to sit and listen when your words ran off with your fire fuelled personality. 

you continued on, “don’t even finish that sentence! they are not the same thing at all.”

corpse remained silent, instead, he moved to place his elbows on the top of the table to rest his head in his hand, to really show he was paying attention. this was for both you and him, he knew your love language was quality time and that meant you wanting undivided attention and for him, he was too excited to learn this new found information about you.

“first of all, i would like to know who was the first person who even decided to cook a carrot.” and so you began. “they’re literally perfect with how they are already.” you took a deep breath in and corpse had to fight off a laugh. “they’re the perfect amount of crunch, the perfect amount of fresh, the perfect shape to hold as you eat it, the perfect size to go in your mouth, it’s always satisfying to chomp through a carrot.” you were talking with your hands, lifting a finger each time you mentioned something you loved about carrots. then you paused, holding your hand up to signal you were going to continue after you took a quick sip of water.

apparently you really meant business about carrots. and as he watched you drink the water, he wondered how on earth could he have missed this breaking update that you didn’t like cooked carrots? he wondered why he hadn’t picked up on it during all of his time of watching you read through menus.

“like, who ate a carrot in its natural and best form and thought, this is so great, i love carrots, now i’m going to try and ruin it!”

“ruin it?”

“yes, ruin it, corpse!”

“i don’t think they intended to ruin it.”

“well they did! and for what?” you questioned out loud, but corpse knew it wasn’t for him to answer, you were questioning the universe. “what was the point of ruining carrots? a food that was already so perfect, it’s so dumb.”

for a second, he thought you might have finished right there, but you didn’t.

“and the fact that it gets cooked in so many different ways? like, stop! no one asked you to do that.” you huffed, and he smiled. you were talking about carrots of all things, but he was going to listen to every word you said. “like, find me one person who prefers cooked carrots over normal carrots? you can’t!”

“i bet i could.” corpse only said this to will you on further.

“no you couldn’t!” how easily you argued against his words and he did laugh that time, but you still weren’t finished talking about carrots. “and if you ever do, you better run for your life because that person would be a serial killer.”

he continued to laugh and you knew you were being overdramatic, but you had accepted a long time ago, that, that was a very definitive part of your personality. it was a part of you that corpse had come to adore when it came out like this.

“carrots are perfect, like, truly an ideal food. and i will never forgive whoever was the first person who ever cooked a carrot.”

“what if it was me?” he couldn’t help but to say, his tone a little teasing. 

and there it was that again, that smile of yours. “maybe i’d consider, but it would be a hard battle to win me over.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

pretty toes ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1741

request?: yes!

@gar-goyle “Can you write a fluffy smut about machine gun Kelly’s foot fetish and the reader?”

description: something as innocent as going barefoot in your house results in sweet words and love making

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut

masterlist

(fair warning, i personally am not a fan of feet, so this imagine isn’t gonna focus too much on feet)

It was a rare event when Colson had more than a day off at a time. After releasing Tickets to my Downfall, Colson decided he wanted to take a lot of time off of work to focus on spending time with you and with Casie. The album had taken up so much of his time and energy that he rarely got to see his two favorite girls, and when he was able to see you two, he was usually drained.

On a night that you two actually had to yourselves, Colson suggested a relaxing night in watching movies. After a long week of work, you couldn’t have agreed more to anything that included the word “relaxing”.

You were both sat on the couch; Colson on one end, you on the other. You had your legs stretched out to be rested on his lap. You were in a pair of pajama pants and one of Colson’s shirts, so you had your socks off, leaving you barefoot.

At some point during the movie you were watching, Colson began running his fingers up and down your leg, spending a little extra time grazing over your feet. Eventually, he gave up pretending and just put both warm hands on your cold feet, beginning to give them a massage as he did so.

“Am I turning you on?” you teased, using the foot he wasn’t massaging to playfully kick him.

You knew all about Colson’s...love for feet, so to speak. You thought it was a joke at first, but soon came to learn that it was anything but. Colson had a thing for feet and, while it was still something you were getting used to, you couldn’t deny that you liked how much attention Colson would give your feet sometimes. Like in that moment, where he continued to massage your feet despite your teasing.

A small smile came across his face. “Of course you are. You and these pretty toes.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “They’re literally just on your lap. We’re just watching a movie. You’re being overdramatic.”

“How am I being overdramatic when you’re sat here looking like a fucking goddess?”

You shook your head at him. “I’m sat here in pajamas with my feet on your lap. I’m hardly a goddess. You’re just looking to get your dick wet so you’re trying to butter me up first.”

He chuckled at this, but your dirty words must’ve gotten to him as you could feel his bulge growing against your feet. He moved your feet so they were resting on the couch and knelt in front of you. You raised an eyebrow at him, feeling excited to see where this would be going.

“You are a goddess, no matter what you’re wearing,” he told you. “But especially when you’re wearing nothing.”

You giggled as his hands started trailing up your legs, stopping at the hem of your pajama pants. He looked up at you, waiting. You raised your hips so he could pull them down your legs and discard them somewhere on the living room floor. He ran his hands up and down your bare legs before lowering himself towards your feet again.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met,” he said. His warm breath brushed against your bare skin, causing you to shiver. “Even when you’re not trying. Especially when you’re not trying. You just radiate this natural beauty.”

He started kissing up your legs, giving both of them the same amount of attention each as he trailed his way up towards where you were starting to want him most. Your body was practically vibrating with anticipation.

As he got higher up, his hands slipped under the shirt you were wearing and lightly traced your bare skin. A moan slipped from your lips as his hands ran over your breasts, pausing for a moment to give your nipples a slight pinch.

He was teasing you. His mouth was kissing around your already soaking panties, but he wasn’t kissing the area you wanted most. You ran your fingers through his hair before trying to place him where you wanted him most. He looked up at you, mischief in his eyes, as he kept resisting and just kissed your thighs and stomach instead.

“You’re mean,” you said with a pout. “I wasn’t intentionally teasing you, you just decided I was.”

“You have a point,” he said. “I was just calling you a goddess, and now I’m teasing you for no reason. What kind of monster am I for doing that?”

Before you could respond, he quickly kissed your clothed clit, causing you to gasp. He smirked at you, and in one quick movement, he had pulled your panties down your legs. You repositioned yourself so he could comfortably lay between your legs.

The feeling of his tongue against you was like heaven. Your eyes immediately rolled into the back of your head in ecstasy. You grabbed at Colson’s hair, taking a handful of it and pushing his head slightly, trying to get him to go deeper.

His strokes were long and slow, sending a shiver up your spine every time his tongue connected with you. He was treating you like the goddess he kept saying you were, and you definitely weren’t complaining.

You whimpered as he pulled away. You tried to pull him back again, but he untangled your hand from his hair and kissed your stomach. Realizing what he was getting at, you pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You lowered your body to be laying down on the couch as he began to kiss up your stomach. He took your breasts in his mouth one at a time, giving them extra attention. You were starting to become needy and desperate to feel him inside of you, but you were enjoying the praise too.

His lips finally reached yours and he kissed you gently. He rested his body on top of yours and you could feel his bulge pressing against you through his sweatpants. You hands ran down his back and pulled at the hem of his pants. He smiled down at you as he sat up long enough to pull them off. His boner popped free and you felt a growing wetness between your legs.

He pumped himself a few times before he leaned down to kiss you again. You gasped as you felt him push himself into you, slowly filling you up. When he had pushed completely inside of you, he laid down on top of you again, his arms resting on either side of your head so he could keep himself up.

It had been a while since the two of you were able to have slow, passionate sex. With Colson’s busy schedule, or with Casie always looming around the corner, the sex that you had was usually rough and quick. You were always trying to finish fast, and you wouldn’t complain about that, but you did miss being able to just hold Colson close and to be able to take your time.

He lowered his head to yours and kissed you gently. He lightly traced your cheek with one hand as he pushed himself deep inside of you, then pulled out almost all the way and pushed himself back in again. He repeated the pattern over and over, driving you wild with his slow trusts.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed in your ear as he started to kiss down your jawline and neck. “The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

You tried to say something back, but it was cut off with another moan as Colson’s hips met yours. He chuckled at your attempted response and began to suck on the sweet spot on your neck that he knew all too well on how to find.

His slow thrusts were driving you wild. Your body was beginning to shake as you started to near your climax. Your nails were clawing at Colson’s back, surely leaving marks that you currently didn’t care about.

“Are you close, princess?” he asked. You nodded in response. His teeth nipped at your ear as he told you, “Let me feel you cum around my cock.”

The words alone were enough to drive you over the edge. Your eyes rolled back as you felt your climax hit hard. You called out Colson’s name in pleasure as he pushed himself deep inside of you, wanting to feel you cum on every inch of his hard cock.

When you had finally rode out yours, Colson began to thrust again. This time, they were fast and hard, causing you to let out screams of pleasure that echoed back to you in the empty house. You heard him grunt once before feeling him twitch inside you, followed by him filling you up as he hit his own climax.

You stayed tangled together for some time. Your vision was so clouded with lust that you felt like you could barley see anything. Colson was placing sweet kisses on your neck again as he came down from his own high. When you both felt like you were able to, Colson pushed himself off of you and got up from the couch. He passed you your clothes as you both began to dress again.

“That was...intense,” you commented, finally finding your voice again.

“In a good way?” Colson asked.

You giggled. “Of course in a good way. I don’t think there’s a bad way for sex to be intense.”

Colson chuckled as well. “You have a point. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and that I do think you’re a goddess, in all aspects of the word.”

“You tell me those things all the time,” you reminded him. “Although if your reminders are like that, I will take them whenever.”

He chuckled again before sitting next to you on the couch. You turned off the movie the two of you had completely forgotten about and decided to watch an episode of your favorite show together. You cuddled into Colson’s side and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll also walk around barefoot more often if it gets me those kinds of reminders,” you told him, looking down at your bare feet.

“Definitely won’t complain about seeing those pretty toes more often,” Colson agreed. You smiled up at him before settling into his side again.

I’m sorry it doesn’t actually focus much on his foot fetish at all :/ I hope you still liked it though!

[officialleehadan]

Plotters Plotting

Ballet Heels

+++

Valentine’s Day was always a production in Julian’s world. There were parties to go to, and product launches to arrange. Anything and everything that could be marketed to desperate couples who lost track of time and ran out of ideas. He had never been fond of the forced romance, or of the plethora of hearts. All the same, it was his job to be the face of his company, and that meant making a seasonally-appropriate scene.

Fortunately, Cami loved Valentine’s day, and was full of ideas to make theirs a spectacle.

Julian had to admit, the gleeful planning over a shared plate of fresh berries, was going a long way to convincing him that maybe Valentines was more fun than he thought. At least, he was enjoying the way it made Cami’s eyes sparkle as she thought of increasingly showy ways to baffle the media.

“Okay, so you’re gonna sent a truly absurd number of roses,” she read off the list where they had been scribbling their ideas down as they came up with them. Julian found himself distracted by Cami’s loopy, neat handwriting mixed in with his own almost-mechanical printing. “I’m going to ‘surprise’ you at work in a long trench coat and really sparkly heels, and we’re going to lock your office door for two hours so the secretaries can gossip about us.”

“I’m still not sure what the trench coat is for, although I like the heels.”

“They’re gonna think it’s a bootie call.”

“Ah. Yes, that would certainly set the secretaries abuzz. What next?”

They hadn’t actually slept together yet, in the interest of taking things slow. Julian was more than content with that decision. It would be far too easy for him to accidentally pressure her, and that was the last thing he wanted. Their relationship was already complicated because of their arrangement. He refused to let there be a power imbalance between them.

Cami never mocked him for not knowing these things, and just pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and went back to their list. Julian reminded himself that she didn’t particularly like extravagant gifts, and probably wouldn’t appreciate it if he bought out a whole jewelry store for her.

“Right, so after that, we’re going to emerge from your office, come home, get changed, and then go to the theater,” she continued, and scooted over into his lap unceremoniously. He chuckled and waited for her to settle herself. The constant physical contact had been a little unnerving at first, but Cami tended to be touchy with all her friends, and he hadn’t realized how touch-starved he really was until she started getting into his space at every opportunity. “I’m going to leave a red lipstick-print on your cheek before we go, which you’re going to pretend you don’t know about.”

“After that,” he said, deeply amused at the idea of wearing her lip-print on his cheek all night, “We go to dinner and dancing, where we’re going to tango to the same song we did the first night we danced together, and retire to the balcony, just in range of the paparazzos, who will think I’m proposing to you.”

“Man they’re hasty. We’ve only been dating for like, six months as far as they know.”

“I’m a celebrity. We’re supposed to run down the aisle the moment we get the chance,” Julian said, very dry and a little annoyed. He had never been the sort to make a quick decision. He wasn’t about to be hasty when it came to the person he meant to marry. Given, he was head-over-heels for Cami, but she wasn’t the sort to make a quick decision either. “It’s assumed that I’m on the precipice of proposal at any moment with any woman I look at twice.”

“Why Mister Fair, I’m flattered, but it’s all so sudden!” Cami said with an overdramatic swoon into his arms. Julian laughed and caught her easily so she didn’t slip off his lap. “And me, just a poor girl with not a farthing to my name!”

“Miss Mills, I must confess, I love you most ardently,” Julian teased her back, finally comfortable enough to trust that when she teased him, it truly was a joke between them, and not a mockery. “Despite your humble origins, you are a diamond of the first quality, and I cannot live without you.”

“Good sir, you will make me blush,” Cami giggled and sat back up so she could kiss him. Julian stroked his thumb over her cheek, only a little startled to realize that he really was happy for once. “Whatever will the Ton think of our scandal?”

“Hang the lot of them. Let them think what they want,” Julian told her, and kissed the tip of her nose just to make her laugh again. “You haven’t told me what sort of jewelry I’m getting you.”

Cami was still a little uncomfortable just telling him what sort of gift she wanted, but he loved spoiling her whenever he got the chance. They were still figuring out how to communicate about it. It was a process. This time, however, was easier. This time it was set-dressing, and that was something Cami knew well.

“A small heart-shaped pendant,” she decided, which was one of the options from their list. “Red, pink, or clear.”

“Do you have a preference?”

“Ruby is my birthstone.”

Ruby. He could work with that. He had a jeweler who worked with his stylist, and Cami’s request was so simple that he could probably just make a call and get what he wanted. It would probably be more extravagant than Cami had in mind, but she knew how he was about gifts.

“Right,” he said, and grabbed for their list again. “Right, so that’s the whole day planned. Now, let’s figure out which of the gossip rags is likely to spread our little pack of rumors the fastest.”

+++

Ballet Heels:

Cut a Dance Floor

Shuriken Toaster

Agreement in Paper 

Rivals and Friends

Arm in Arm  (Subscriber Only!)

Secret Steps

Dance the Steps  (Subscriber Only!)

Along a Logging Road

Dapper Diamond

Festival Festival (Subscriber Only!)

Takes Two

Society Splash (Subscriber Only!)

Pas de Trois

Introduction Leap

Plotters Plotting (New!)

+++

MASTERLIST

[robininthelabyrinth]

Associates - Part 4 - ao3, pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

There was a loud bird outside Lan Xichen’s window.

This was primarily notable because Lan Xichen’s window was currently set with an array designed to support his seclusion, designed to block out the noises of the outside world. As a result, the bird in question must have deliberately broken through several high-level arrays set down by Lan Wangji’s ancestors in order to make a racket outside his window.

It also didn’t sound much like a bird.

Lan Xichen was staring at his wall as the bird shifted from tweeting sounds to whistling to, eventually, a tired-sounding voice mournfully saying, “Tweet. Tweet. Shit. Tweet.”

Lan Xichen was not laughing.

He was in seclusion. It was one of the most sacred rituals of his sect – one of the most serious, the most respected. His own father…

No, he couldn’t even finish that thought.

With a resigned sigh, Lan Xichen stood up and went to the window, where the ‘bird’ had taken to mumbling curses more than anything else.

He opened it a very small crack.

“Nie Huaisang,” he said. “Go away.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the ‘bird’ said. “I’m a bird.”

Lan Xichen was not laughing.

Nie Huaisang had ruined his life. He was not – it wasn’t –

Okay, it was a little funny.

(Lan Xichen had always had an excessive sense of humor, finding all sorts of things funny. His uncle had been mystified by it, telling him that it would eventually get him into trouble, and in the end, he’d been right, hadn’t he?)

“Very eloquent for a bird,” he remarked, and did not smile when Nie Huaisang cursed, although it was a close thing. “You can go away now.”

“Listen,” Nie Huaisang said. “I don’t need you to forgive me or anything, but you cannot miss Lan Wangji’s wedding.”

Lan Xichen had been reaching for the windowsill, but his fingers stopped in mid-air.

Lan Wangji’s…wedding.

He’d thought – he’d assumed –

“I know, I would have thought they’d be long since married! They were being idiots and pining from a distance, apparently,” Nie Huaisang said, correctly reading Lan Xichen’s thoughts. “They’re finally getting around to it, though, and if you’re not there, Lan Zhan will bite me.”

Lan Xichen pressed his lips together.

“He will. Don’t you remember what a bite-y little brat he was as a child?” A mournful sigh. “He’s gotten back in the habit, it seems. Whether through letters to others or even in person, if you want to judge by the state of Wei-xiong’s neck…”

Lan Xichen involuntarily snorted.

“Anyway, the main point I’m making is: they’re getting married. It’s going to happen soon. You have to attend, or else Lan Zhan will never forgive me, and obviously that’s more important than anything else.”

There was really no need for Nie Huaisang to engaged in these sorts of dramatics, Lan Xichen thought. It wasn’t as if there was any chance of Lan Xichen underestimating him ever again.

Did that mean that, just maybe, this sort of behavior really was what Nie Huaisang was like? That the overdramatic little shithead (there was really no other way to put it) that Lan Xichen had liked so much over the years was still there – that it hadn’t all been a lie, the way Jin Guangyao’s façade of kindness and compassion had been?

“Well? Can I confirm that you’re coming?”

“I’m in seclusion, Nie Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said, and he felt tired all of a sudden. Seclusion, and Nie Huaisang knew why. What he’d done…

“Uh, no you’re not. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but you’re talking to me, aren’t you? Seclusion broken. Problem solved!”

Some cruel god or goddess must have been behind making Nie Huaisang so funny, and Lan Xichen so susceptible to exactly that type of humor.

“That’s not how that works and you know it.”

There was a moment of silence.

Lan Xichen thought to himself that if Nie Huaisang said ‘I don’t know’ in response to that, he really would break seclusion but it would be for the sole purpose of hitting him, and then he’d never agree to see him again in this life.

Luckily, that was not what Nie Huaisang chose to say.

“Listen,” he said, and his tone was no longer exaggerated or emotional but simple and straightforward – the Nie sect way of things, as Lan Xichen was abruptly and painfully reminded. Nie Mingjue had been like that, too. “I’m not expecting any miracles here. I don’t see this as a way to make up with you or get your forgiveness; I don’t think that you’ll suddenly feel better once you’ve come out of seclusion or that you’ll see the light and stop being upset all at once. All I’m saying is…this is your brother. This is the rest of his life, his lifetime happiness, his marriage. Are you really going to pick yourself over him for this, too?”

Lan Xichen had to put his hand on the wall to stop himself from staggering. Whoever thought that Nie Huaisang didn’t know how to stab a man had only ever seen him on the practice field, he thought; they had never seen him in conversation, where his words were sharper and more accurate than any saber.

He wasn’t – he didn’t mean to be selfish, to be picking himself. He didn’t want to do to Lan Wangji what his father had done to their uncle, trapping him in the Cloud Recesses and a million obligations he’d never wanted, even though Lan Wangji was coming to the work far older than either Lan Xichen or Lan Qiren had done.

On the contrary, he had retreated because he knew he could not trust himself. If his judgment was so bad that he had permitted – not only permitted, but in his willful blindness all but endorsed – so many of Jin Guangyao’s vile actions…if he had then turned his hand so quickly against Jin Guangyao once he had learned the truth…Lan Xichen had demonstrated that he lacked either principles of honor or of friendship, and given all that, how could he trust his judgment going forward? Wouldn’t it be better for all of them if he just wasn’t there -?

“If you’re really all that set on mourning san-ge, I’m not going to stop you,” Nie Huaisang said. “But I’m asking you to reconsider, for Lan Zhan’s sake.”

Lan Xichen froze. “You think I’m in here mourning?”

“Why else?” Nie Huaisang’s voice was still ruthlessly practical. His brother’s voice, and as much as he had loved Nie Mingjue in life, suddenly Lan Xichen hated hearing it from Nie Huaisang’s mouth. “You picked him over the rest of us a million times over when he was alive; what’s this seclusion of yours anything other than picking him over us again?”

Lan Xichen didn’t even realize what he intended to do until he was already moving: going away from the window and to the door, opening it and stepping outside – breaking seclusion in truth, the way a few words through a window were insufficient to do – and walking around over to where Nie Huaisang was sitting with his back against the hanshi wall.

“How dare you,” he said, and Nie Huaisang looked up at him, startled. “That’s not it at all.”

Nie Huaisang wasn’t playing with a fan, for once, and looking down at him, sitting there in the dirt and mud in his sect leader’s clothes, Lan Xichen thought he looked small.

Not – pathetic, the way that he’d come to secretly think of him in his heart of hearts these past few years. Just small.

Young. Tired.

Like the lost little boy he’d been when he’d first come to the Cloud Recesses, all those years ago; the one who had inadvertently gotten Lan Wangji to return to himself after their mother’s death, all unknowing – Nie Huaisang hadn’t ever realized that Lan Wangji hadn’t merely been quiet back then but truly mute, nor that the first word he had said since the announcement of the death of their mother over two years before had been a long-suffering “Please” in response to Nie Huaisang’s childish demand that Lan Wangji mind his manners when asking him to pass the salt. By the time Nie Huaisang had been there a month, Lan Wangji had bitten three children and four adults for having said something rude about his new friend, rather than standing there staring at them vacantly the way he had in the past, and Lan Xichen thought he’d never seen his uncle happier about a violation of the rules.

Nie Huaisang looked like the boy who’d nearly paced a hole into the floor during the war, worrying about his brother and pestering Lan Xichen about Lan Wangji very nearly as much, if not more – his brother he’d worried about in an abstract way, in his not-so-secret belief that Nie Mingjue was truly immortal, but Lan Wangji was ‘just a kid’, in his words, as if he himself weren’t a year younger.

He looked like the boy whose heart had shattered into a thousand pieces upon the realization that his brother – the immortal, the all-powerful – was really gone.

“I killed him,” Lan Xichen said, staring down at Nie Huaisang. “Don’t you understand? I killed him.”

“I know,” Nie Huaisang said, the opposite of all his ‘I don’t know’s over the years. “I was there, remember? In the temple – I saw you do it, it was my fault, I instigated –”

“Not Jin Guangyao,” Lan Xichen said. “Nie Mingjue.”

Nie Huaisang fell silent.

“I had them for about the same amount of time, you know,” Lan Xichen said. “Nearly two decades: Mingjue-xiong throughout my childhood, and A-Yao my adulthood, and I killed them both. How can I live with that?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said, and his voice was bitter. “For once, for real, I really don’t know. But it’s been over a year. Surely you’ve had time to figure some of that out?”

Lan Xichen hadn’t realized that it had been so longer. It had been forever in there, and also no time at all.

“Do you know,” Nie Huaisang said abruptly, “that right after it all happened, Wei Wuxian said to me ‘don’t associate with evil’?”

Lan Xichen blinked, and then he processed it and stared. “Wei Wuxian said that to you? Wei Wuxian?”

And Wangji accepted it? He wanted to ask. Did Lan Wangji agree with him – did he think that you were too far gone to be saved, that it wasn’t worth associating with you any longer? Your crimes were all in pursuit of justice, and mine done blindly, and yet if he can’t bring himself to forgive you, what hope do I have?

“Lan Zhan has been helping me fend off challenges to my position,” Nie Huaisang said. “And Wei Wuxian apologized for what he said, eventually. He said that he trusted Lan Zhan’s judgment, and if he didn’t think of me as evil, then as far as he was concerned, I wasn’t.”

That seemed like a fairly good standard to use, actually.

“Lan Zhan doesn’t think you’re evil, either,” Nie Huaisang said, and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Even if you don’t trust yourself, why not trust him?”

“…is that what you did?” Lan Xichen asked, and his throat felt sore. All that speaking for the first time in months was wearing on him.

“Yes,” Nie Huaisang said plainly. “After everything I did to avenge da-ge, I’d started to think of myself as willing to do anything, heedless of the collateral damage, another person just like san-ge – a smile to your face and a knife to your back. I still think that, sometimes. But every time I do, I just remind myself that that’s not the sort of person Lan Wangji, Hanguang-jun, would be friends with, and that means it can’t be me. You see?”

Lan Xichen did.

He did see.

He reached up and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve – his eyes had started flowing with tears at some point, he wasn’t sure when. “I’ll come out,” he whispered. “I’ll go to the wedding. I’ll help with – with everything, even if it will take me time. I promise.”

“Good,” Nie Huaisang said, and suddenly smiled up at him, bright and cheerful as a bird once more. “Because I’m serious, you have no idea, he will bite us both –”

Lan Xichen felt a laugh bubbling in his chest and thought that, with time, that he might even be able to let it out.

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic

[percydarling]

Weasley family relationships with Percy

FRED

Fred loves being picked up by Percy. Bill is too careful and keeps a safe distance while Charlie is too noisy and hasty.

Fred follows Percy around when he can walk. He likes Percy. Percy is nice.

Percy reads to him and George and he acts it out. He's overdramatic. Fred likes Percy who is loud and makes actions.

Percy calls him Freddie sometimes and it's nice.

Percy helped him to write his name! He was so proud of it.

Fred doesn't understand why Percy doesn't talk anymore. He's quiet. Fred does not like quiet Percy.

So he pranks him. At first they're fun and Percy laughs along too.

( Somwhere along the line the pranks became malicious.)

He remembered the joke Percy had told when he was 10. Fred doesn't think he ever laughed that much.

And Percy goes to Hogwarts.

And the Burrow feels wrong.

Fred wants Percy back. He wants Percy scolding at him. He wants Percy reading to him. He wants Percy to help him with anything.

He just wants his Percy back.

When Bill and Charlie left, it was okay. There was still Percy. But now Fred's the oldest and he doesn't like that label.

His siblings don't particularly care if Percy is gone. He knows they're lying. A little part of them miss Percy bossing them around.

Fred writes to Percy because he can and he wants to.

Percy writes to him about Hogwarts and sends him chocolate frogs.

Fred loves chocolate frogs. Unfortunately he doesn't get to have many of them.

When Fred sits on the stool, in front of the Hall he is nervous. He's supposed to be the irrational and adventurous twin but he doesn't feel it.

It's only when Percy smiles and he smiles with his blue eyes does Fred relax.

Fred shouldn't feel homesick but he does. He misses Ron and Ginny and Mum. Even though he already made a new friend (Lee) it feels overwhelming.

He doesn't go to Bill or Charlie.

He goes to Percy because he remembers that Percy wrote to him about feeling homesick.

For some reason he goes to the Common Room and miraculously he finds Percy there reading.

"Fred, what's wrong?"

( Fred doesn't know how Percy knows which twin is which but Percy can always tell and this justs make him all the more special to him)

Fred fidgets with his fingers before just saying it.

"I feel homesick"

Percy's eyes soften and Percy hugs him and ot feels nice and Percy tells him it's okay.

In the end he wakes up early with a blanket on top of him, in his dorm.

Percy comes to cheer him on during Quidditch Practice and it makes Fred happy and more motivated to do better.

But, they grow distant.

Percy isn't fun anymore and doesn't laugh at his jokes or pranks.

(Fred should realise his pranks are often cruel)

He doesn't know why he makes fun of Percy. He just does and Percy makes it easier by scolding him and George. And Fred doesn't like it.

Fred decides he doesn't like Percy anymore.

(Maybe because the brother he idolised has problems too and he should acknowledge that)

So when Percy leaves Hogwarts he thinks he wouldn't miss that git.

But he does.

He does so badly.

Because it's Percy. Percy's always there. Not Bill or Charlie but Percy.

And the school year doesn't feel the same.

(When did it ever anyway with Harry and Ron mucking around)

He doesn't know what to think when his father tells him about his argument with Percy.

It's strange. He doesn't feel angry. He feels upset.

Fred's even more upset when noone besides Mum tries to do something.

(He's a hypocrite too)

Fred doesn't know why he wrote to Percy about the shop but he did because Percy knows how to handle the legal stuff better than Bill, Charlie or Dad. And he needed those documents to be approved.

He doesn't tell George.

He didn't expect Percy to reply but Percy did with the Ministry stamp and everything.

Percy even sent layout designs for the shop.

(Deep down Fred knows that the shop was an excuse to talk to his brother)

Percy comes home during Christmas with the Minister who talks with Harry. It's awkward and only Mom makes an effort. He doesn't understand why he did it.

(How many times can he use I don't know as an excuse to be excused from punishment?)

He threw food at Percy's face. George joined him and to his suprise Ginny joined too.

He only stopped when he looked at Percy's face and the hurt was clear.

That was the day Fred realised that Percy didn't leave because of argument. He left because he was tired of being treated like dirt by them. It was a long time coming.

(Fred hates himself more than ever.)

Fred doesn't understand when Harry became a vital member of the Weasley family. He's Ron's best friend. Sure. So is Lee. He was never welcomed the way Harry is. And when Fred really thinks about it, he realises that somewhere they replaced Percy with Harry and it's clear by the way the family treats him.

(Fred starts to resent Harry just a little)

There's a war and his older brother isn't here. He's trapped in the Ministry and NOONE IS BLOODY DOING ANYTHING.

Fred's an idiot. He didn't do anything to repair his brother's relationship with his family anf now he's blaming others.

He's so relieved when he sees Percy and Percy says something about a fool and Fred says some crap and just hugs him first because he needs Percy.

And he's happy. His brother is back. And they would win this war together.

They're fighting together

And Percy jokes. He jokes.

"You're joking, Perce! You actually are joking.... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-"

10

Wall crashes and last he sees is Percy's worried face before everything goes dark.

Fred's in the dark. The first name that comes to his head is Percy.

"Percy"

"I'm right here Freddie"

Fred realises he's younger, perhaps somwhere 10 years old.

"Percy I'm scared."

And Percy with his soft blue eyes just smiles at him. A soft smile.

"It's okay Freddie, I'll hold your hand I promise"

And Percy holds his hand. His hand is soft and Fred holds to it tight because he's scared.

And they both go through this bright light together.

It takes Fred some time to realise he's dead.

And Fred can feel Percy's guilt and he wants to hug him tight and tell him it's not his fault but he can't. He can only watch over his family and he does.

So when the Audrey gives birth to twins, Fred laughs because he knows.

Percy mumbles, "Oh Merlin twins, let's hope you're not as bad as your uncles."

"Good luck Perce those 2 are troublemakees alright."

Fred loves his older brother Percy and would die for him.

And he did.

Not even death could take away his love for his brother.

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

You know how we have pet costumes? Give Jacob one, make him a cute space cowboy😈😈😈

WE'RE BACK BABY

Please enjoy this little ficlet (that was actually my 3rd attempt to write a fluffy ficlet for this universe because all the other ones kept becoming future chapters lmao)

--

“This is humiliating. I look like sheriff Woody or something.”

“Aw, I was thinking more like John Wayne Gacy, you know?”

“The...the clown serial killer…?”

Angie pursed her lips. “Wait, who was the cowboy guy in all the old movies? Like, before Clint Eastwood and whatever.”

“That’s John Wayne. Not John Wayne Gacy,” Jacob tugged at the sleeves of his costume and readjusted his cowhide vest. “And I don’t feel anywhere near as cool as him right now.”

She rolled her eyes and crinkled her nose. “That’s because you’re not cool. You’re a grown man playing dress up with a kindergartener.”

“So are you.”

Angie straightened her Native American headpiece and threw one of her braided pigtails behind her. “Yeah, but I know it’s stupid, so therefore I’m doing it ironically which makes me cool.”

Jacob sighed heavily but didn’t argue further, instead tugging his cowboy hat down further to shield his face that burned with embarrassment. Being forced into having playdates with his captor’s coworker was nothing new. He had spent plenty of time being Mibao’s sole playmate aboard the ship, doing the best he could to keep the six year girl entertained and not too psychologically damaged. Being the youngest in a sibling group of only boys, he was a bit rusty when it came to knowing anything about kids. Thankfully, Mibao was more than happy to take him by the hand and show up all the “fun” things she used to either do back home or what she would now do with her “kitty”.

Today’s game of choice was dress up. Every day felt like dress up when it came to the girl’s ever expanding wardrobe; she was always dressed in an obnoxiously puffy and sparkling princess dress fashioned with ribbons and bows galore and always with a matching crown. Fine, no big deal, he could slap a tiara on his head and call it a day, he’d worn worse at the few fraternity parties he attended during college. Nope, not good enough. Mibao had a very specific game she wanted to play which involved him wearing a cowboy costume of all things. A very realistic and detailed cowboy costume, assless chaps and spurs and all. Again, he could...handle it for the most part. The only thing that really bothered him about it was all the coos and giggles he received from both his and Mibao’s captors when he finally came out in his new outfit.

And he knew for a fact they took many, many pictures of him.

It didn’t end there, Mibao still had more requests. Angie needed to join in as well and she was required to be an “indian princess” to partake. Naturally, she was more than happy to agree if it meant getting a break from the absolute nightmare of a captor she had been saddled with. So, now Jacob had to deal with the fact that she would have to watch him play pretend in this ridiculous getup. He could never catch a break with her, it seemed, she always had to catch him when he was in the middle of doing something cringe worthy. She didn’t even look half as uncomfortable as him and she was literally wearing half as much clothing.

Or maybe that was exactly why she was so comfortable as she sauntered up to him, making a finger pistol to tip his hat away from his face. “Cheer up, partner,” she teased. “I think it makes you look cute.”

“I think it makes me look like Owen Wilson from the museum movie,” Jacob replied, hoping the shadow of the brim hid his reddening cheeks.

“Oh my God, you are a tiny little twink cowboy, huh?”

“I’d rather be the gladiator guy.”

“You wish you could pull off being the gladiator guy.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue when Mibao made her appearance from behind the monitor where she had been changing. This time instead of her usual princess attire, she was dressed...pretty much the same, only this time she had a tiny pair or iridescent fairy wings attached to the back. What a fairy had to do with cowboys and indians, he hadn’t the faintest idea. She stopped when she saw the two of them and stuck out her tongue in childish disgust.

“Eww, stop kissing!” She scolded. “You can kiss the princess later, Jake, it’s time to play!”

Jacob had never been more grateful in his life that the creatures idly watching them couldn’t understand English because he just might have died if they heard. He could feel the heat radiating from his nape to his cheeks, putting his hands up in defense like it could keep Angie away from him.

“Wh-no! We weren’t, we weren’t kissing, Reagan, w-we-!”

Angie only cackled, her amusement stemming more from Jacob’s panicked response than the actual accusation of giving him a kiss. “Yeah, cowboy, you can kiss me later.” She winked and nudged him with her elbow as she walked past to where Mibao was waiting.

He groaned, tugging the hat down as far as it would go even if that meant obscuring his vision somewhat. That was totally fine, he didn’t want to look at anyone right now and he did not want to be perceived either. The child was leading them back over to her designated play area scattered with art supplies and stuffed toys for where they’ll play their game of make believe. Angie was already sitting on her knees by the time he shuffled over and beckoned him with a sly smile to come take a seat on the ground next to her. Jacob obliged, but refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing his beet red face.

As soon as they were settled, Mibao immediately launched into the exposition of the scene they would be putting on, including their roles and superpowers (that only she had because she was a magical fairy queen). Jacob was only half listening; the kid usually forgot half of her own rules in the middle of playing anyways because she wanted to change the story and it wasn’t that hard to follow her game of make believe. Instead, he kept side-eying Angie, who was side-eying him back, and every time they made eye contact she would smile and bump his shoulder with hers.

This was going to be a long playdate.

--

The lab door slid open as Talan walked in, peeling off his bloodied gloves to dispose of them in Ylva’s waste bin. “I need my human back.”

“Aw, why? They’re all having a ball together!” Ylva frowned, gesturing to the miniature trio on her desk. Well, the smallest one and Talan’s pet seemed like they were having a good time, namely at the expense of the other human in a hat. They all seemed to stop at the interruption, his human fixing him with a sneer that he was tempted to match.

“What the fuck is it wearing?” He asked, ignoring all the little protests he got when he grabbed it and plucked the stupid looking feather thing of its head. “I thought you said it’s not nice to torment the humans.”

Edix scoffed at him, though his annoyance was more from Talan being in his general vicinity than anything. “It’s not torment. They were having fun.”

Talan did not look convinced in the slightest, his eyes sweeping over the pup who was pouting at him for taking away its playmate and the other who froze any time he breathed in its direction. Like owner, like pet, he assumed as it seemed to unconsciously inch closer to where Edix’s hand was resting for a better sense of security. Pathetic. At least his pet had a bit more self respect and wasn’t afraid to try and stab him in the hand with his own tools. Of course, it got a sharp flick to the stomach to knock it off, but he could appreciate the gumption.

Talan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, looks like a real party. So sad to have missed it.”

“Like you’ve ever been to a party to know what it looks like.”

“Says the one that only hangs out with plants.”

“Okay,” Ylva interjected, rising from her chair and scooping up her adorable little human. “You’re right, we should probably wrap this up, Mibao’s going to need a nap soon and she likes to fight her naps when she’s excited.”

That was all the excuse Talan needed to dip out without a formal goodbye, though it didn’t escape the corner of his eye how Edix’s human took a half step forward when he left, almost like it wanted to say something. Even if it did, he wouldn’t have cared. As quickly as he had intruded, Talan disappeared back down the main hall of the fauna department to return to his lab.

Edix stood up as well and tucked the data pad he had been keeping busy with under his arm to keep his hands free. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing how much closer his little pet was standing to him, even if it wasn’t by much, even though it was caused by Talan of all bastards. A win was a win in his book. The hand the human had been partly hiding behind curled easily around it to lift it up, immediately cradling it to his chest as usual. It squirmed for a moment but settled quick enough, a clear sign it was also ready to go back to the lab it was accustomed to. For a social species, the little one always seemed so drained after any playdate Ylva arranged for their pets. Fine by him, it usually meant his human was much more quiet and well behaved once it was back in the solitude of Edix’s company, making for an easier work day.

He used his finger to tilt back the wide brimmed hat it had been using to hide its sweet little face a majority of the playdate, earning him a surprised squeak. With the way its baby cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink, Edix had a fairly good guess as to why it was trying to avoid everyone’s line of sight. Damn, he should have had Ylva take more pictures, this was way too cute for him. It reached up to quickly pull its shield back down and Edix let it with a laugh, cooing as he tugged at its little vest instead which only made it wriggle in distress. Overdramatic little thing.

“Can I keep this costume?” He asked as he followed behind Ylva who was preparing to put her own pup down for a nap. In reality, it meant she was going to have to play with it for at least another half an hour because, much like him, she was a sucker when it came to her human wanting to play. The difference being that Mibao wanted to do anything from coloring to singing to continuing its game of make believe while Edix’s pet always wanted to play chase.

Ylva smiled and shrugged. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to fit the baby. It was printed for its measurements specifically, anyways.” Mibao was proving to be difficult in its refusal to relinquish the shiny wings Ylva had designed at its request, something that Ylva quickly made a game out of by setting her pup on the desk and letting it squeal and run while her hands chased after it. That would tire the kid out in no time. She looked back at his human and giggled. “I don’t think it likes it very much, though.”

Oh yeah, that was obvious from the get go, but it didn’t change the fact that it was way too precious for its own good in this type of outfit. Edix actually quite liked the contrast of the dark brown against its pale skin, even more given the fact that it matched the color of its doe eyes perfectly. It was much more appealing than that splotchy green jacket it was inexplicably attached to. He had a feeling it was going to try and strip out of this outfit as soon as it was back in Edix’s lab, provided he gave it its normal suit and jacket to change into. But...maybe he didn’t have to offer it its spare set of clothes right away. Maybe it would just have to hang around in its little boots and hat for a couple hours longer while he finished up his latest report that was just so important to get done. And maybe he would get constantly distracted by how cute it looked while it was definitely pouting at him for not taking off its costume that it took a little longer than usual to finish his work, which meant it spent even longer pouting under its hat.

Decisions, decisions.

Edix waved his hand dismissively. “It’ll learn to love it.”

“Oh, Eddie, don’t be mean to it,” Ylva laughed, not that seemed bothered by the idea of his pet keeping the outfit on for an extended period of time beyond the playdate. “But send pictures if you do.”

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

Runs in the Family CH. Three

Book: Prisoner

Title: Chocolate and Flying Aunts

Words: 1950

Warnings: Slight language, mention of drunk driving 

A/N: Sorry this was late! I was having some trouble finding my word document. Hope y’all enjoy!

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RitF Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

It was a semi-peaceful summer up until Aunt Marge came to visit for two weeks. The moment she got there, she was all over you and Dudley and very mean to Harry. You tried to stay away from her and to study for your next year at school, but since she couldn’t find out that you were a witch, you had to do that at night. She wouldn’t let you anywhere with Harry so that was out of the question too.

 You had just about had enough of her and her dogs for a lifetime and was happy that her visit was almost over. It was at dinner when Aunt Marge went too far. You were sitting in between your mom and brother, Marge in front of you. She was making comments about Harry and his parents and when she called James a drunk and other nasty things, you frowned.

 “Aunt Marge, please stop,” you said. “That’s not true.”

 “Of course it’s true. That’s how they died, isn’t it? The bastard was driving while drunk!”

 That made you angry and you clenched your teeth together. Right as you did that, the glass Marge was holding exploded. Your mom let out a small scream and your eyes were wide.

 “I have a firm grip, Petunia. A very firm grip, so don’t fuss,” Marge said. She started to wipe up the mess and you exchanged a look with Harry.

 Aunt Marge told Harry to clean up and while he was doing that, she started talking about Lily.

 “It actually has nothing to do with the father, it’s always the mother. You see it all the time with dogs. If there’s something wrong with the bitch, there’s something wrong with the pup.”

 “Aunt Marge!” You said. She went to say something but Harry interrupted her.

 “Shut up!” Harry yelled. Aunt Marge only smirked and held her finger up.

 “Let me tell you—“

 That was when she saw her finger starting to swell. Everything happened so fast after that. Aunt Marge kept expanding, her clothes ripping and buttons popping. When Vernon tried to get up and help Marge, Ripper started biting his ankles. That was when Marge started floating. She bounced off the ceiling and you went to stand by Harry.

 “Well, isn’t this a sight?” You muttered. Your parents were panicking and it took everything in you and Harry to not laugh.

 “They’re going to expel me,” Harry said.

 “Then they’re going to expel me too.” Harry looked at you and you shrugged. “I’m pretty sure that the glass exploding was me, not you. But it was definitely you who blew up Aunt Marge.”

 “I’m leaving, come with me?” Harry said.

 “We shouldn’t leave, Harry,” you said.

 “I don’t know what Vernon is going to do. I’ll take the blame for all of it.” With that, Harry raced up the stairs and you could hear him throwing everything in his trunk before coming back downstairs. That’s when he came face to face with Vernon.

 “You bring her back! Bring her back and put her right. Now!” Vernon screamed.

 “No. She deserved what she got,” Harry said. Vernon went to strangle Harry and your eyes widened.

 “Keep away from me,” Harry said, holding out his wand.

 “You can’t do magic outside of school.” Vernon’s voice was shaky.

 “Yeah? Try me.”

 With that, Harry left and your dad turned to you.

 “You didn’t do anything to stop him. Why?”

 “What?” You said, confused.

 “Why didn’t you stop him?!”

 “Daddy, I can’t do any magic outside of school. You just said that to Harry. And besides, even if I was allowed, I don’t know how to help her without hurting her,” you said.

 Vernon let out a frustrated yell and stomped back to the dining room. You watched him leave then turned to Petunia.

 “Why didn’t you try to stop Aunt Marge from saying those things?” You asked her.

 “Things?”

 “She was your sister and you’re going to let someone tarnish her name?” You sounded disgusted and shook your head in shame. After looking at your mom, you started to go upstairs.

 “[Y/n]—“

 “I don’t want to hear it! All of you just let her say those nasty things and it makes me sick. I’m going to my room.” You heard your mom call after you, but you ignored her.

 After you got into your room, you closed the door and started packing. You had a feeling that someone from the Ministry was going to come and set things right. A few minutes later, your suspicions were proved correct. There was a knock on the door and you went downstairs with your trunk.

 “Is this the Dursley residence?” A voice said.

 “It is.”

 “Ah, good! We have someone for you.”

 You peeked down from where you were on the stairs and saw a dazed Aunt Marge.

 “Marge!” Vernon said.

 “She’s alright and will have no memory of the incident.”

 “Who are you?” Petunia asked.

 “My name’s Kingsley. I’m also here to pick up Miss [y/n] Dursley,” Kingsley said.

 “Why?” Petunia asked.

 “We thought that she might want to join her cousin.”

 “But it’s still weeks before the start of term.”

 “Well, ultimately it’s up to her.”

 They all looked at you and you shrugged.

 “I’m packed and ready. Let’s go,” you said. You walked down the remaining steps and looked at your family. “I’ll see you later.”

 Vernon looked like he was going to explode, he was that angry. Petunia just looked sad and Dudley wasn’t paying any attention. Kingsley held out his arm and you took it. Within a second, you were at the Leaky Cauldron.

 “Go right upstairs. Room eleven is where you will find Harry. That will be your home for the rest of the summer,” He said.

 “Thank you.”

 He tilted his head and disappeared. You took a breath and walked upstairs. You knocked on the door and Harry opened it.

 “[Y/n]?” Harry said. “What are you doing here?”

 “Someone from the Ministry brought me here,” you said.

 “Your parents let you come?”

 “They didn’t want me to, but I was told that it was my choice.” You smiled. “I didn’t want to leave you alone for the rest of summer.”

 ---

 The next few weeks were nice. Everyone at the Cauldron was super nice and friendly, always making sure you and Harry were comfortable. Since your parents didn’t give you any money, Harry loaned you some so that you could get your books for the next term. He also bought you a broom since he knew you were going to try out for the Hufflepuff team and that the school brooms were awful.

 When it came time for the start of term, you happily packed everything up. You had gotten a letter from the Weasley’s saying that they were going to take you to the train that morning and you were excited to see your friends again.

 You woke up before Harry did and you got dressed before heading downstairs. All of the Weasley’s and Hermione were already there and you walked up to the twins.

 “Hey guys!” You said, trying to put your arms around their necks.

 “Bloody hell!” Fred put his hand over his heart.

 “You scared us, [y/n].” Both of them were being overdramatic and you laughed.

 “My plan was a success then.” You gave them a grin then hugged them. “It’s good to see you guys.”

 “You must be [y/n],” a woman said. You turned and saw a man and woman coming up to you.

 “Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. It’s nice to finally meet you,” you said. You held out your hand but Mrs. Weasley pulled you into a hug.

 “It’s nice to meet you too, dear. Harry didn’t tell us that you were a witch so I was surprised when Arthur told me we were picking the both of you up today,” she said.

 “I didn’t learn I was until after Harry had left last year,” you said with a laugh. “It was a surprise to him too.”

 “Well, you’re always welcome with us.”

 “Thank you.” Molly smiled at you and patted your shoulder before walking away.

 You said hello to the rest of the group, shaking your head at Ron and Hermione arguing and waving to Harry when he appeared. Walking with the twins, you sat down with them and began eating breakfast.

 After breakfast was over, it was time to leave. You all piled into some cars that were waiting for you and made your way to King’s Cross. When you got there, you said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and walked with Ginny and the twins to a compartment.

 “So I take it Egypt was fun?” You asked as you sat down. “I heard Ron going on and on about it.”

 “It was. We saw loads of mummies and tombs,” Ginny said.

 “I learned a little about Egypt in school. I’ve always wanted to go.”

 “We’ll take you with us next time,” George said.

 “Yeah. It’ll be loads of fun,” Fred said.

 “Thanks.”

 The four of you talked and laughed for the next couple of hours and were all very confused when the train started to slow down.

 “We can’t be there already, can we?” You said. Fred wiped some of the condensation off of the window and frowned.

 “I can see something moving outside,” he said.

 “What?” You and George went to look outside, and you saw multiple shadowy figures floating. You tried to look closer, but then the train came to a sudden stop and you flew back onto the seat, landing in Georges lap.

 “Sorry,” you said.

 “It’s fine.”

 “What’s going on?” Ginny said.

 That’s when the lights went out. The train shook a little bit and the windows started to ice over. Looking around, you saw something approaching your compartment.

 “Guys,” you whispered.

 The figure opened the door and you grabbed George’s arm. It was awful. The only thing you felt was the freezing cold and that hope was leaving you. It left as soon as it came and you whimpered, falling back against George. He wrapped his arm around you and you looked over to find Fred holding Ginny’s hand.

 “W-What was that?” You whispered, voice full of fear.

 “I think it was a Dementor,” George said.

 “But why were they here?” Fred asked. A knock sounded on the door and you stifled a scream.

 “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” a man said. He held out some chocolate and George took it gingerly.

 “Eat it. It’ll make you feel better.”

 You took a bite and instantly felt better. You looked at the others and saw that they were the same.

 “Thank you,” you said softly. The man just smiled then left the compartment.

 The rest of the ride was spent in near silence, the four of you worried it was going to happen again. You rode with them up to the castle after the train stopped and gave them a wave before going to sit at the Hufflepuff table.

 Before the feast happened, Dumbledore made a couple announcements. He said that Hagrid was going to be the Care of Magical Creatures professor and that the man who had given you chocolate on the train was going to be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Now you knew why he gave you that chocolate. Then Dumbledore mentioned the Dementors.

 “Hogwarts is going to play host to the Dementors of Azkaban until Sirius Black is found and captured,” he said. He warned you about them and told you where they were going to be. You held back a shiver and the feast started soon after.