#self awareness psychology

[clearmindonline]

Self awareness is knowing and understanding who you are, what you stand for, what’s relevant to you, and your strengths and weaknesses. It means recognizing your characteristics, abilities, motivations, values, and potential. People with high self awareness can understand their thoughts, actions, and incentives.

They recognize how they react in situations and their strengths and limitations. These people clearly know who they are rather than who they want to be or think they should be.

Being self-aware involves understanding why you feel the way you do and behave the way you do. This awareness enables you to change things about yourself, allowing you to live the life you desire

Self-aware people know their strengths and limitations to find environments where they thrive rather than struggle.

[root4yourself]

being present does not necessarily mean enjoying the present. it means accepting it. accepting and sitting in the current state no matter how uncomfortable and resistant you might feel. it’s accepting what Is without attaching labels or feelings to it. just observing and seeing it through.

[liberatingreality]

People who have a creative side and do not live it out are most disagreeable. They make a mountain out of a molehill, fuss about unnecessary things, are too passionately in love with somebody who is not worth so much attention, and so on.

There is a kind of floating charge of energy in them which is not attached to its right object and therefore tends to apply exaggerated dynamism to the wrong situation.

Marie-Louise von Franz, Shadow and Evil in Fairy Tales

[theshadowworker]

I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole

- Carl Jung

[lazyyogi]

In seeking self-love, what we really seek is self-contact.

We are possessed by the natural urge to be wholly ourselves without withholding or suppressing.

We are seeking embodiment.

[sagaubeloved]

I don’t know if this is something I READ or something I thought of in passing and just kept forgetting about, but the basic idea is that the things the Creator comes into contact with (mainly literature) is recreated within Teyvat.

But it was more in the sense that even if the Creator hadn’t read the book it would still appear. However, those books that weren’t read would be faded, barely there scribbles that are not discernible and thus not as important to the Creator in comparison to the things they have read.

In that way, I thought how funny it would be that if-and-due to the Creator being a college student there are all these various poems, post-colonial literature, plays, biology, communications, etc just popping into existence and the people of Teyvat believing that the Creator really enjoyed knowledge and the arts.

(Maybe that can cause a long standing argument between Sumeru scholars and those who prefer the arts?)

Would this include the things the Creator writes? Essays and such? Yes, because it is something the Creator interacted with, and no less created themselves!

For me I really like essays, but it also depends on what it is the essay is going to be about, that’s where it can turn from an essay of 10 pages easily or a trudging essay with blurbs. (Just imagine seeing your school essay glorified somewhere as fact and your just there trying not react because you wrote that one thing while sick, and high as a kite at 3 am on a school night; wtf is it doing in that glass casing for all of Teyvat to witness??)

Similarly, if the Creator enjoys reading in general, all those things come into existence even if those things existed by way of technology only, ie. Fanfiction.

So imagine when the Creator descends they are at first confused and then upset because I still have so many things to read! I still have so many things to write! I had a project due in a week! And then stops in bewilderment because —

Wait, isn’t that… isn’t that the novel they had in their To Read list?? Wait isn’t that a story they already read?! Oh no, everyone is witness to your reading habits!!

[pratchettquotes]

People often didn't stop to think. They thought as they went along. Sometimes it was a good idea just to stop moving, in case you moved the wrong way.

Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

[loveyourlovelysoul]

People pleasing is often, again, related to our emotionally unstable/immature caregivers/parents projecting onto us, not being consistent in their feedbacks, and having high expectations for their child. For example, we were shown attention and praised only when we achieved something (e.g. good grades) or acted as a "good obedient child" and did what we were told; we were taught (sometimes even unwillingly) that we needed to act good and be of help (of service even) to others in whatever way, in order to be loved and validated; we felt the need to keep everyone in a good mood so to not be a burden or to not make them angry. Growing up, this made us more interested into learning what others want us to be instead of knowing who we really are (cause we were basically told that it's of no importance).

To break this pattern we need to learn to accept the discomfort that originates from chosing ourselves instead of others. We need to accept that others can be unhappy with us and our choices and it is fine; that it is okay for us to have boundaries and also express ourselves no matter the subject; that we don't have to always live up to others' expectations and that we're not responsible for them or their life (e.g. we don't have to find solutions to their problems, it's up to them) nor we have any control over their emotions and feelings but only over our own. We need to accept and give us the chance to know ourselves, our likes and dislikes and dreams, from deep inside, and stop making it all about others. It's about us.

[darkness-holds-eternal-light]

You guys and gals, I don't even completely remember how that found me today but I want to really share it:

This exists as a physical and digital book and as an audiobook, which I personally recommend. It's about 3 hours long, so manageable.

For everyone who struggles with simple tasks, even everyday household tasks and stuff, I think you might like this. It is written in such a way that it kindly and compassionately addresses trauma and mental health to help you find a kinder and more compassionate way to deal with this. I'm only listening through the first part of it at the moment and I'm so deeply grateful! 💖🙏🏼🍀 I hope this can help someone out there too!

[cemeterything]

i think the funniest thing about me as a person is that i'm often a nervous wreck and terrified of trying new things or screwing up, but my disrespect for authority is so strong that the second someone tries to suggest that i can't do something because they won't let me or don't believe i'm capable of it, it completely overwrites my anxiety and makes me determined to prove them wrong right then and there. unfortunately combined with my general impulsiveness and impatience this used to make me very easy to manipulate if you understood this about me as well as leading me to take some really stupidly dangerous risks (until i started working on my self awareness and critical thinking), but it did also lead to several very funny moments in my life where someone misplaced a lot of confidence in my inability to fight back and got their shit rocked when i stepped up and called their bluff.

[azura-tsukikage]

Depersonalizing criticism is the practice of not taking criticism or negative feedback personally. It's an essential skill for maintaining a healthy emotional state and effective communication.

Understanding Depersonalizing Criticism

Criticism as Feedback: Depersonalizing criticism involves recognizing that feedback is primarily about the situation, task, or behavior, not about your worth as a person. Feedback is often given to improve something or help you grow.

Separating Self-Worth: Your self-worth and identity are not defined by your actions or the feedback you receive. You are a complex individual with strengths, weaknesses, and room for growth. Constructive criticism helps you grow; it doesn't diminish your worth.

Mindful Listening: Practice active listening when receiving criticism. This involves fully engaging with the feedback, understanding the points made, and seeking clarification if needed. By focusing on the content of the criticism rather than the emotional tone, you can better depersonalize it.

Detaching Emotionally: Understand that people's opinions and judgments are influenced by their perspectives, experiences, and emotions. Sometimes, criticism may be fueled by someone's frustration or anger, and it might not reflect your actual performance.

Cultivating Resilience: Developing resilience is crucial for depersonalizing criticism. Resilience allows you to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive self-image. It involves managing your emotions and stress effectively.

Maintaining Perspective: Keep in mind that one piece of criticism, especially if it's not constructive, should not define your self-esteem or self-concept. It's essential to maintain a broader perspective of who you are and your accomplishments.

Practical Steps for Depersonalizing Criticism

Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to process feedback.

Ask clarifying questions to ensure you fully understand the criticism.

Focus on areas for improvement and how to address them constructively.

Seek support from friends, mentors, or a therapist to help process criticism.

Practice self-compassion and remind yourself of your strengths and achievements.

Depersonalizing criticism is a skill that takes time to develop, but it can lead to greater emotional resilience and better relationships. It allows you to receive feedback without feeling attacked or diminished, fostering personal and professional growth.

[demontobee]

Autism and Invalidation

I just can’t believe how QUICK people are to invalidate your experience. Which is why it is so important to learn to love and validate yourself.

I was diagnosed with autism earlier last year, because I had done tons of research on the topic and I had gone through the arduous process of finding a place to get the assessment done. During this process, I constantly doubted myself, and I went through loops and loops of feeling like an impostor but also the need to get answers. The assessment process itself was hard on my self-confidence as well, since I felt weird and out-of-place as an afab person assessed by the white male boy standards of autism research. Nevertheless, I got my diagnosis after weeks of filling out questionnaires and feeling uncomfortable in interviews. Having a formal diagnosis relieved me to some extent, but it has not yet cured me from self-doubt and the feeling of shame that washes over me at the thought of feigning it just to get attention, to belong somewhere, to have answers. Since I got the diagnosis, I have made huge changes in my life, which has been wonderful and terrifying at once, and I’ve had more meltdowns than I can count. And I should be proud. I have managed to overcome hurdles like my life-long comfort zone, I am trying to set boundaries and I want to find out what really makes me happy, what I was made for.

And it is exactly this achievement that makes other people doubt the validity of my experience as an autistic person.

My current therapist, who has no specific expertise in autism (especially not in afab queer autistic beans), told me last week that she thinks I was misdiagnosed. Why? Because I am able to handle change so well, because I am a very reflected person who knows exactly what their problems are and how I am harming myself, because I am able to think critically about my parents and the way they raised and treated me. An autistic person, it seems, would not be able to so that.

Bullshit.

You know how I am able to do all these things that she apparently thinks are reserved for neurotypical people? I have been teaching myself, in an ongoing and nerve-wrecking process, how to handle change. I have been working on loving myself and respecting myself enough to want to make changes that benefit me and my well-being. Setting boundaries is a hard and heart-breaking process for me. It doesn’t come naturally to me and I often feel lonely or guilty. For as long as I can remember, my mind has been going round and round reflecting on my actions, other people’s reactions, normal behavior and so on. Reflecting for me is not a skill that proves how “normal” I am, it is a survival strategy. And it is about time I put it to good use instead of fueling my anxiety and my self-criticism with it.

Just because you are developing skills that help you learn to love and validate yourself does not mean your experience as an autistic person is not valid. Formally diagnose or not. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[liberatingreality]

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.

Harold J. Smith

[theshadowworker]

You don’t have to be a philosopher; you just have to want to know who you are

- Padmasambhava

[dk-thrive]

It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.

— Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’ (HarperOne; October 13, 2009)

[study-diaries]

Reminder

People who tell you to respect their boundaries and they don't respect yours are toxic.

People who constantly remind you about their favours are toxic

People who take up for someone but won't take up for you even if the situation is same are toxic

People who want respect but don't give respect are toxic

People who are nice can be toxic

People who expect you to cross oceans for them but they won't cross a puddle for you are toxic

People from your own family can be toxic

People from your friend group can be toxic

People who frustrate you purposely to irritate you are toxic

People who stress you out just for fun are toxic

People who blame you for expressing emotions are toxic

People who misuse your kindness are toxic.

People who call you "dramatic" and dismiss your emotions are toxic

People who take more than they give are toxic

People who don't want to adjust with you but expect you to are toxic

People who violate your peace of mind continuously are toxic

People who make you apologize for something that isn't your fault are toxic

People who make you seem like the bad guy are toxic.

People who never apologize for their faults are toxic

People who never acknowledge that they're wrong are toxic

People can be toxic. People can be toxic even if they're your family, friends, collogues, classmates, spouses. Remember. That.

It is better to be aware than to be ignorant. Don't let anyone treat you badly. You deserve all the respect you get.