#social skill
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Them: i like your personality
Me *mirroring their personality because i am lacking basic social skills*: thanks it's yours
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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Since the r-slur is making a comeback (you know, the word that starts with R, has six letters, and ends in D), I'm gonna make a little PSA:
Yes, it's an ableist slur.
Terms like "asshat," "head-up-ass," "up their own ass," and "high on their own farts" exist. There's also words like crap, dogshit, half-assed, assclown, and chucklefuck. And on the less vulgar side, there are terms like ridiculous, nonsense, train wreck, pointless, insipid, self-absorbed, pretentious, annoying, boring, contemptible, vile, and disgusting.
Substituting words like restarted, poptarted, brain damaged, smoothbrain, etc. is still ableist, because either 1. you obviously still mean the r-word, or 2. you're still using disability as an insult.
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I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.
I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.
“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”
“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.
But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.
They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.
That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.
A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”
I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.
“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.
Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.
At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.
Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.
“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.
“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”
Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.
#ramblies#autism#as an afab kid I didn’t get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes it’s astonishing I wasn’t#I didn’t learn to implement social masking until way later#also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off#they had to be scraped down slowly after baths
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Crux of How to Talk to Anyone (Vol.3)
A word has a power. The kind words opens other's heart, and a sincere apology changes a hostile mood.
Words can Change a Person’s Heart.
A word has a power. The kind words opens other’s heart, and a sincere apology changes a hostile mood.
Grateful Heart
Getting a thankful heart and verbalizing it is a habit to strengthen your positive mindset.
The Inner World Reflects the Outer World.
How can we adorn our outwards beautifully? First of all, take care of your inner world.
Language represents…
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Only now does it strike me that a lot of egg joke discourse is people having two entirely separate conversations, completely talking past each other.
On the one hand, we have people saying it's fine to make "have you considered you might not be cis" comments...about friends. Because sometimes someone is giving egg vibes, consciously or subconsciously, as a means of looking for support, looking for the people they know and trust to still be cool with it or tell them what they're thinking is a valid option, and it's good to turn toward those bids and offer support.
On the other hand, we have people saying not to make those kinds of comments or jokes....about strangers. Because you don't know them, they might be trans in a totally different direction than you think, and second-guessing someone you don't know about their own gender - often in a way that treats nonbinary identities as a fake thing, a phase, just a step in a pipeline for people with only one foot out of the closet - is not the compassionate trans-positive action that a small but frustrating number of people think it is.
And the thing is, both of these things are true. You can't treat strangers the way you treat your bestie! You will do more harm than good if you try!
I just wonder how many internet slapfights would not happen if people could recognize that these ideas don't contradict each other; they're different advice for different situations.
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literally obsessed with kanji. finally a good character for me to latch onto
#hes 15 years old. he regularly intimidates people multiple years older than him. his favorite hobby is sewing.#he chased an entire motorcycle gang out of town with nothing but his regular ass bicycle. he has debilitating social anxiety. hes gay#perfect character. incredible job guys#personal#i am a simple person. i see a character with incredibly poor social skills and i decide they are my favorite with no further questions
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Femme Fatale Guide: Game-Changing TED Talks Everyone Should Watch
"How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want" by Janine Driver
"Master your Mindset, Overcome Self-Deception, Change your Life" by Shadé Zahrai
"How to talk to the worst parts of yourself" by Karen Faith
"Think before you speak, hacking the secret of communication" by Catherine Molloy
"The Hidden Code For Transforming Dreams Into Reality" by Mary Morrissey
"Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Lauren Weinstein
"The public speaking lesson you never had" by DK
"Programming your mind for success" by Carrie Green
"How to stop screwing yourself over" by Mel Robbins
"Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success" by Louise Evans
"The psychology of seduction" by Raj Persaud
"Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap" by Nat Ware
"Think Fast. Talk Smart" by Matt Abrahams
"Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix' by Tasha Eurich
"5 steps to designing the life you want" by Bill Burnett
"Staying stuck or moving forward" by Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko
"To reach beyond your limits by training your mind" by Marisa Peer
"Emotional laws are the answer for better relationships" by Diana Wais
"Feelings: Handle them before they handle you" by Mandy Saligari
"Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth" by Adia Gooden
#ted talks#youtube recommendations#self love#cult of personality#self awareness#self reflection#self improvement#communication skills#social skills#life advice#life skills#girl advice#dream girl#girl talk#femme fatale#dark femininity#dark feminine energy#it girl#high value woman#the feminine urge#female power#queen energy#female excellence#high value mindset#self esteem#level up journey#glow up#femmefatalevibe#success mindset#self talk
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival
(Part 2)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang fengmian#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU#MDZS AU#The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one.#There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome.#The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess#But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly)#Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up.#Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it.#This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis.#Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers?#I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me?#(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water)#((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))
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I’m surprised he didn’t start licking the furniture
#tim drake#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#batfam#dc#batman issue 441#inspi art#'not cause trouble' my ass#tim fanboys so hard he spent actual money and free time reading up on batman's house and decor#his social skills are questionable but his entusiasm and sincerity is not
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100 Words You Can Incorporate Into Your Speech To Sound More Elegant ✨
(Common word - Alternate variation)
Beautiful - Exquisite
Happy - Ecstatic
Smart - Intelligent
Big - Enormous
Small - Petite
Good - Excellent
Bad - Deplorable
Nice - Gracious
Tired - Fatigued
Old - Ancient
Rich - Affluent
Poor - Impoverished
Happy - Joyful
Sad - Melancholic
Hot - Sweltering
Cold - Frigid
Busy - Prolific
Loud - Vociferous
Easy - Effortless
Difficult - Arduous
Fast - Swift
Slow - Languid
Brave - Valiant
Funny - Witty
Rich - Opulent
Poor - Indigent
Old - Vintage
New - Novel
Strong - Robust
Weak - Feeble
Pretty - Alluring
Ugly - Unattractive
Clean - Immaculate
Dirty - Sullied
Happy - Jubilant
Sad - Despondent
Young - Youthful
Old - Antiquated
Big - Colossal
Small - Minuscule
Fast - Rapid
Slow - Sluggish
Brave - Fearless
Funny - Hilarious
Clean - Pristine
Dirty - Filthy
Strong - Stalwart
Weak - Debilitated
Happy - Content
Sad - Poignant
Confusing - Perplexing
Typical - Quintessential
Many - Myriad
Everywhere - Ubiquitous
Contradictory - Paradoxical
Showy - Ostentatious
Insightful - Perspicacious
Arrogant - Supercilious
Obscure - Esoteric
Flatterer - Sycophant
Favorable - Auspicious
Joking - Facetious
Indescribable - Ineffable
Wordy - Verbose
Respected - Venerable
Worsen - Exacerbate
Short lived - Ephemeral
Help - Facilitate
Sneaky - Insidious
Confuse - Obfuscate
Begin - Commence
End - Terminate
Start - Inaugurate
Get - Obtain
Give - Bestow
Make - Fabricate
Break - Shatter
Fix - Rectify
Use - Utilize
Look - Gaze
Find - Discover
Tell - Narrate
Ask - Inquire
Leave - Depart
Buy - Procure
Show - Exhibit
Think - Contemplate
Put - Position
Need - Require
Stop - Halt
Talk - Communicate
Like - Adore
Help - Assist
Call - Summon
See - Perceive
Tell - Enunciate
Go - Traverse
Tell - Express
Have - Possess
Feel - Experience
#elegant woman#elegance#elegant#education#educate yourself#networking#social etiquette#social skills#personal improvement#personal development
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#solangelo#tsats#tsats spoilers#will solace#nico di angelo#someone teach this boy social skills#its okay tho because will is just as dumb
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Internet Etiquette
Devastating! You just saw a take that you don't agree with! This is a check for reading comprehension and the practice of good faith.
Analyze
What emotion was this intended to inspire?
What was the goal the speaker was trying to achieve?
How could this be interpreted differently?
Is there context that would change the meaning?
Is the speaker qualified?
Reflect
What is your first reaction and why did you have that specific reaction?
Is it an issue that is harming you and/or did the group being harmed directly state that this harms them?
Do you accept the consequences that could result from interacting?
Is the speaker someone you can reason with?
What assumptions are you making about the speaker?
Speak
What is the goal of your words?
What audience are you catering towards?
Are you talking to the person with respect?
How could your words be interpreted differently?
What reaction will people have towards your words and how is it being achieved?
#trolls#internet safety#tumblr ettiquette#batboob speaks#reading comprehension#writing help#social interaction#social skills#manners#mental health#r/196#popular
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stayed up way past my bedtime last night to make this
#blue eye samurai#imagine my surprise when i realized the basic graphic design skills i learned during my social media internship#and the apps that i downloaded#came in handy for something ACTUALLY important: making better memes
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