#the codependency conversation is coming

[cervidsunrise]

chihiro by b*llie e*lish THE veilguard-era Ellana/Ashava song of all time

[mazekingdom]

I enjoyed Dead Boy Detectives but... am I the only person who feels like the whole season was built on top of a gigantic elephant in the room that never got adressed 😭

[faerie-goddess]

cant tell if im regressing or progressing in relationship with nmom but after any (obligatory) phone call i am left thinking:

1. who the hell is she

2. does she hear herself

[fortunxa]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 THINKING ABOUT . . .

🫧⋆｡˚ Jinx x fem!reader ˎˊ˗

. . . having a homoerotic friendship with Jinx.

suggestive | mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ

she just gets you, in a way that feels almost unfair—your moods, your silences, the exact way your face looks before you cry. she’s your best friend. your favorite person. no one else even comes close.

you’re too close, always. she climbs into your lap when she’s bored, you rest your head on her stomach when you’re tired. there’s giddy groping in the kitchen when you pass each other—her squeezing your ass with a cackle, you flicking her boob in retaliation. but it’s playful, harmless. she rests her chin on your shoulder when you cook and asks if you missed her when she was only gone a few hours. she calls you dollface when she wants something, baby if she wants everything.

there’s casual nudity—her walking around topless, underwear and bruised knees on full display. you follow her into the bath one night because the conversation is too good to stop. because being apart for even five minutes feels wrong. she’s already in, blue hair piled messily on top of her head, steam curling around her shoulders, bubbles up to her collarbone. you sit on the counter first—cross-legged, leaning forward, still talking. but then she looks up and says, “you comin’ in, or just gonna be weird about it?” she winks, you roll your eyes, and then you’re stripping.

it’s nothing scandalous, but it becomes routine—just skin against skin, knees brushing underwater, her calf resting over yours. she dunks her head under and comes back up laughing, water dripping from her lashes. sometimes she climbs in behind you, arms draped over your shoulders, chin hooked over your neck. she washes your back while humming, hands a bit too careful. you wash her hair, fingers gently massaging her scalp, and she closes her eyes like she might fall asleep right there. just girls being girls.

it’s normal to straddle one another when you do each other’s makeup. it’s practical, you say. efficient. your thighs pressed together, her thumb on your chin, her knee between yours. she teases you in public and curls into you in private. she knows what makes you spiral, and you know what calms her down. she tells you you’re pretty when you need to hear it. you tell her she’s safe, even when she doesn’t ask.

she bites when she feels too much. soft, shallow nips to your shoulder, your jaw, your collarbone. but she kisses you right after—sweet, soothing. and if someone asked, you’d laugh it off. “we’re just friends,” you’d say, knowing full well she’s asleep in your bed wearing your shirt, legs tangled with yours. knowing her lips were on your throat last night, just to “see if it would make you giggle.”

and you both get a little possessive, but it’s not like you’re jealous. you’re the one who hypes her up before her dates, tells her she looks hot when she’s already halfway out the door. you nudge her toward it like a good friend would. but deep down? god, you hope it sucks. you hope they’re boring. you hope she comes home early. because you’ll be there—conveniently—arms open, blanket ready, your voice soft and teasing: “should’ve just stayed in with me, huh?”

and it goes both ways. she helps you pick out an outfit, says “go get ’em” like she means it, but then spends the whole evening refreshing your location. when the night goes south, she’s already waiting, smug and warm and just a little too pleased. “see?” she says, tugging you into her lap like that’s normal. “told you they wouldn’t know what to do with you.” you mention someone cute and she freezes. she plays along, plays it cool—until you reach for your phone. she snatches it, tosses it aside, and climbs on top of you. “look at me when i’m talking, yeah?”

maybe it’s a little toxic, a little codependent, but neither of you care. because there’s comfort in being needed like that, in needing someone like that. in knowing that no one will ever know her like you do, and no one will ever know you like she does.

it’s not dating. it’s not sex. but it’s intimate, greedy, full of unsaid things. you’re not sure if you want her or want to be her or just want to be the only thing she reaches for when she’s spinning out.

and maybe you’re not in love. maybe you’re just hers, she’s yours, and that’s enough to ruin both of you.

can i ever shut my yap and write something that fits in a screenshot instead (no 🤍)

[dumbass-hyperfixations]

The text comes at 9:07.

Eddie: Happy birthday, Hen! Hope you have a good one :)

Hen smiles down at her phone as she sets down her bag in the locker room. Someone really ought to teach that man how to use emojis (seriously, is he secretly 50?), but the text warms her heart too much to be bothered by it. At least someone remembered, even from another state. She’ll take the typed out smiley emoticon as a win.

Hen: Thanks Eddie 🥳 how are you doing?

Eddie: Almost done fixing up my house and making small breakthroughs with Chris every day. But I’m sure Buck’s keeping you all updated. How about you? Any big plans today?

Hen: I’m sure it’s going great, we’re all rooting for you ❤️ and yes, Buck’s giving us all the updates, hasn’t shut up about you since you left 😂

Hen: No big plans today, though. Shift, then takeout for dinner.

Eddie: Not even cake? You’re breaking my heart :(

Hen sighs. She’s breaking her own heart over this silly little thing. She feels ridiculous, being so excited and then so disappointed over such a small thing. She scoffs as she kicks off her shoes and shakes off her jacket before answering Eddie.

Hen: I guess I’m just not in the mood this year. Maybe Karen and I will get dinner over the weekend.

Eddie: Oh, Buck and I tried this great Italian place the night before my last shift at the 118! You should ask him for details, their spaghetti bolognese was amazing :D

Well, definitely not doing that. Not while Buck and the rest of the 118 are being excited over a different H.E.N. in their lives right now. Another thing she’s ridiculously jealous of today: firefighting gadgets. And the way Eddie isn’t able to keep Buck out of their conversation even for a second. She bets Buck never forgets his birthday.

Hen: Thanks, I appreciate the tip 🤗

Eddie: Anytime. Hope you have a great day :)

Yeah, Hen thinks. Against all odds, she hopes so, too.

***

Another text comes around at 14:32, while Hen is taking a break on the roof after that call for Archie, the self-proclaimed invisible man.

Eddie: Hey, just got off the phone with Buck. I’m sorry those dummies forgot your birthday :(

Despite it all, Hen chuckles.

Hen: Don’t be acting like you didn’t remember just because of the Facebook alert. I know you well, Diaz 😉

Eddie: Guilty. Still sent the text though!

Eddie: And I know it sucks, but just remember that they still love you. We all do. Probably gonna be making it up to you for a week. I’ll bet you 10 bucks Chim’s gonna send you balloons. Maybe even a serenading mariachi band.

She snorts into her phone.

Hen: Oh god, I hope not. Haven’t I suffered enough?

Eddie: True. You can always guilt-trip Buck into doing yard work for you, though. He’s pretty handy with that. Kind of wish he was here now, helping me around the house.

Yeah, she bets he does. God, those two are so sickeningly codependent. She’s gonna have to hold an intervention one of these days.

Hen: He’s been giving me THE WORST puppy eyes since they realized they forgot. Could probably make him wash the cars too.

Eddie: Yeah, saw ‘em. He called me all sad, asking about your favourite pie. If you don’t talk to him soon, your house is going to look like a bakery display for a week.

Hen: Thanks for the tip. I DO NOT need my kids on a sugar high after all of this 😂

Eddie: At least they remembered, right? And Karen?

Hen: LOL. Mara dressed up real cute. Not for mama though, for picture day 💔 and Karen at least noticed my (very very nice) birthday outfit, but didn’t connect the dots.

Eddie: Ouch

Hen: Yup. I guess she forgot because of the kids’ schedules. Still hurts, though. There’s usually not a thing missing from her trusty planner.

Eddie: I guess she figured she’ll remember. You guys have celebrated how many thousand birthdays together now? She probably just got too confident in her ability to remember everything she loves about you.

She tries to scoff, but it comes out a little wet. Of course, he’s right. And Karen’s gonna feel so bad when she realizes.

Hen: Damn you for being right.

Hen: I’m gonna be angry with you about that, because you and Athena are the only two people I can’t be mad about missing my birthday.

Eddie: Hahaha sure, if it makes you feel better! Gotta go now, getting ready for work.

Hen: I still can’t believe I’m gonna walk back down to the loft and not see you on shift with us 😔 your talents are being wasted in that Uber

Eddie: Don’t I know it :( take care, Hen. And make Buck your gardener! I’ll be expecting pics.

Hen: 🤔🤔 starting to think gardener Buck is more of a gift for you than it is for me…

What can she say, even in her desperate sorrows, she loves making fun of the whole BuckandEddie thing, no matter how platonic it might be.

The answer is immediate.

Eddie: I’ve gotten tired of all the cooking/baking photos Maddie keeps sending me. He needs new hobbies.

Hen: How many of those do you have?????

Eddie: So many.

Eddie: Save them all, though. I like seeing him happy.

Eddie: He is happy, right? Not just putting a brave face for me every time I call?

Well. She can’t even make fun of that.

Hen: Ever seen those videos of amputated dogs that are learning to move around with prosthetics?

Eddie: Yeah?

Hen: Looks kind of like that. Happy, but still getting used to those wheels instead of legs ❤️

Hen: (The amputated legs are you. And the wheels are all those six thousand two hundred and twenty-two FaceTime calls you’re having on and off shift.)

Eddie: Yeah, I got that. It’s the same for me, really.

Eddie: Really gotta go now. Let me know if Chim sends you balloons!

***

At 21:20, Hen’s the one to send the text.

Hen: [image attached]

Hen: I actually got those fucking balloons. Are you psychic?

Hen: Also featuring chocolates from Bobby.

Eddie: Ha! Not psychic, he’s just predictable.

Hen: LOL, that he is. The worst part is that I actually kind of love them.

Eddie: Not seeing 10 different pies on the table, though. Master baker crisis averted?

Hen: Not yet, but he acted like an awkward butler around me for the rest of the shift. Needed some time to cool off, but I’ll ask him tomorrow.

She sets the phone down and opens the basket of chocolates. There’s a note inside with yet another apology, a birthday wish, and a promise of homemade dinner on their next 48 off. I am loved, I am loved, I am loved, I am loved. She thinks the words on a loop in her head, intending on doing so until she believes then again. God, today sucks.

Her phone pings again, Eddie’s contact illuminated on the screen.

Eddie: I just realized. We have never texted as much as we did today.

Surprised, Hen snorts out a laugh.

Hen: That can’t be right. We’ve known each other for well over 7 years now.

Eddie: I’m serious! Check our previous messages.

And Hen does. The last text before today was a few months ago, when she wished him a happy birthday during their 96 off, to which he responded with a simple thank you. Before that, a bunch of school-related email screenshots and links, mixed in with some carpool-themed “I’ll be there in 15!”s and some Denny and Chris sleepover related negotiations. Each short text thread at least a few days, if not weeks apart. Wow.

Hen: LOL, are we even friends 😂

Eddie: Right?! Like, I know we are, but we have absolutely no way of proving it.

Hen: I’m blaming it on the twelve hundred groupchats the Buckleys have created over the years.

Eddie: Seconded! Why do we need one for every get-together? The original groupchat is fine.

“Mama?” Hen looks up to see Mara standing in the doorway, looking a little unsure of herself.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Mom’s calling you for dinner,” Mara says. “Or, she’s asking if you feel like joining us.”

Hen sighs and stands up. To her surprise, the weight of her chest is lifted somewhat. She didn’t even notice that she calmed down and switched her mood during their chat.

“Of course, I’m coming,” she says and hugs Mara again for good measure before they head to the kitchen. Just to let her know nothing is wrong, that she’s not mad at her. Or anyone, in fact. This stuff happens. I am loved, I am loved, I am loved.

After dinner, she sends Eddie the picture of the cake Mara and Denny brought her.

Hen: [image attached]

Hen: Got the cake after all ❤️🎂

Hen: Thanks for today ❤️

Eddie: Looks good! And, anytime :D

[astrolook]

🌙 Moon in Synastry: How You Emotionally Connect (or Clash) 💥

Note: First of all, these are my personal observations based on client readings and what I have observed in real life relationships whether flings, short-term romances, long-term commitments, or marriages. We will be looking into both good and the shadow side of it. No single synastry aspect determines if a relationship is “meant to be” or if someone is your soulmate. True soulmates won’t bring you constant pain, abuse, emotional neglect, or detachment. They won’t harm you, manipulate you, or make you question your worth.

Now, with that said… let’s dive into today's post!

Moon in Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) 🔥- You feel first, think later. Both outbursts and passionate affection are all part of the package. If partner can’t keep up with your energy, you’ll get bored fast. If both of you have fire moons, you’ll either ignite a romance or burn it down.

Moon in Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) 🌬️- You process feelings by talking it out… forever. Space and freedom are your emotional love language with some occasional tears. If partner is clingy, your flight mode gets activated. If both of you have air moons, your love notes will be text essays and memes.

Moon in Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) 🌿- Stability > emotional drama. Love here is shown thru practical actions. You bottle up emotions until…well, you explode in the most rational way possible. If partner isn’t dependable, you check out emotionally. If both of you have earth moons, you’re basically a power couple with a solid 401(k).

Moon in Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) 🌊- Your emotions run deeper than the Mariana Trench. When hurt, you withdraw into your emotional shell…for years. You crave soul-connections but somehow 9/10 times attracts toxic people successfully. If both of you have water moons, the relationship feels destined, intense, and occasionally exhausting.

Moon through the houses:

Moon in 1st -

The Moon person emotions are all over your identity. The house person feels seen and accepted. Instant emotional connection. They can read your moods before you even speak. Feels like you've known each other forever. The house person would feel emotionally tied together.

The Moon person might be too emotionally reactive to house person’s moods. If emotions aren't mutual, one person might feel suffocated. House person might feel too exposed or emotionally overwhelmed. Can lead to codependency if not balanced.

Moon in 2nd -

The Moon person sees the house person as their personal emotional ATM like the withdrawals of comfort and security guaranteed! If you both love practical romance think home-cooked meals and doing something together, this is a dream come true. The Moon person truly adores the house person and sees them attractive and their "type".

The Moon person might get a little too comfy, treating the house person like an emotional vending machine. The house person could become way too possessive. True love is priceless, but this overlay might make it feel like it comes with a price tag. House person could feel like they are taken advantage of by the Moon person.

Moon in 3rd -

Conversations just flow, it’s like your brains are on the same Wi-Fi network. The Moon person gets the house person’s way of thinking, no explanations needed. The bond is fun, light, and effortlessly supportive. Both of you laughs at the same dumb jokes or have deep talks.

The connection can feel more bestie with emotional perks/benefits than fiery soulmate passion. The Moon person could get a little too invested in the house person's daily life. One of you might feel the other is too chatty and just won't shut up about things.

Moon in 4th -

There is a weird sense of "I know you". Deep emotional security, like an invisible weighted blanket wrapped around both of you. Feels heartwarming and like family. If you both love intensity, this is the ride-or-die emotional bond.

Family-level fights. Emotional abuse. You know, the kind where only they can trigger your childhood wounds in 0.2 seconds. Emotional baggage unpacked right in the middle of your relationship. The Moon person might behave like an overbearing parent making the house person feel like "Why can't I breathe around you?"

Moon in 5th -

The Moon person sees the house person as pure romantic magic even their bad hair days look artistic. The Moon person is like head over heels for the house person. feels like young, child-like love no matter their age.

The Moon person might idolize the house person a little too much. Responsibilities take a backseat. If the house person doesn’t return the emotional warmth, the Moon person feels like a sad poet. Common in one-sided relationships.

Moon in 6th -

The Moon person feels like it's their mission is to take care of the house person. One of you is always looking out for the other, which can be adorable. If you have a shared goal, dream team vibes! You get stuff done. This overlay can create a nurturing, stable relationship.

The Moon person can sacrifice too much and then passive-aggressively sulk about it. It can feel more like a boss/employee dynamic than romance unless you’re into that. If either of you lacks boundaries, this turns into resentment city fast. The Moon person micromanages the house person's daily life. The house person might start expecting favors and the Moon person could feel like an unpaid intern.

Moon in 7th -

This overlay feels like slipping into your favorite cozy hoodie, it's safe, familiar, and warm. The house person naturally wants to be around the Moon person. Relationship flows like a well-balanced duet as you complete each other. One of the strongest overlays for long-term commitment.

If one person takes the other for granted, resentment brews like bad coffee. The Moon person may get emotionally clingy, which can suffocate the house person. One of you is suppressing their emotions and simply compromise to keep the peace.

Moon in 8th -

You’re drawn to each other like moths to a forbidden flame. Unspoken understanding like you can read each other’s soul files. A transformational relationship whether that’s growth or destruction depends on you. The whole dark romance package.

Feels less like romance, more like a crime-of-passion waiting to happen. Triggers all the buried baggage like insecurities, jealousy and all. Couples who are one and off for years and can't really let go of each other has this overlay.

Moon in 9th -

You bond over big ideas, deep convos, and shared worldviews. Mutual growth like adventuring together, mentally or literally. Long-distance isn't a problem as your connection transcends miles. The house person feels inspired like a guru with their most devoted follower.

Moon person might feel inferior, house person might feel pressured to be amazing 24/7. Too much idealism on one or both sides. May turn into a motivational speaker/fan club dynamic instead of romance.

Moon in 10th -

There is mutual respect for each other’s achievements and professional goals. One of you might be the ultimate trophy for the other’s success story. Practical and productive. No time for emotional drama. If you’re both goal-oriented, you’re the dream team.

Trophy wife/husband vibes can get a little too shallow for comfort. Emotional distance and self-serving tendencies may leave one or both of you feeling a bit disconnected. Not the best for intimacy unless your charts have other affectionate touches.

Moon in 11th -

You meet, and it’s like you’ve known each other forever. You both feel like you can show your true selves without worrying about the judgment. You see the house person as your dream come true, and they feel the same way about you. No grudges. You can never really stay mad at each other it's like you’re permanently in good vibes mode.

It's the “castle in the air.” Sometimes it feels like a fairytale that might be a bit too dreamy/one-sided. You both might live in an idealized bubble and overlook real issues. One or both of you is just daydreaming about the relationship without doing anything in reality.

Moon in 12th -

You connect on a soul-deep level, it's mysterious, intense, and possibly otherworldly. Both partners are attuned to each other's needs, with an almost telepathic understanding. The relationship invites raw, unfiltered emotional expression, fostering a strong bond. There's immense potential for healing and growth together.

The Moon person always feels like the house person is hiding something even if they’re not. This overlay's a paranoia central. It’s like a dark cloud of suspicion hanging over everything, no logical reason, just gut feelings. Accusations fly between both of you. Every little misunderstanding hits deep, and healing’s tough. The survival rate for this overlay is low unless you’ve got the emotional fortitude of a zen master.

Check out my Sun in Synastry: The Light They Bring Or Burn You With

✨ Wanna know more about your birth chart or your relationship? DM me for a synastry or complete birth chart reading ✨ and check out my pinned post for pricing! 🌟💫

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

I only want the fab 5 (+ Kori later on) when they are absolutely insane about each other. The most ride and die you will ever find.

They will never hesitate to square up again anyone who says anything bad about their team mates (and best friends (and lovers)), consistently checking in with each other even (and especially) when they are not meant/ supposed to.

I want them so fucking codependent but also completely unaware bc what do you mean you don’t constantly update your friend group everytime anything happens. What do you mean you don’t just break into your best friends house and sleep in their bed with them when you feel sad. What do you mean you keep secrets from your friends. What do you mean you don’t join your friends when they shower so you can continue your conversation. What do you mean you don’t know where every single scare on your best friend comes from. What do you mean you don’t call their dad a stupid motherfucker to his face. What do you mean you don’t know everything about your best friends.

I want them to have so many inside jokes that they are basically speaking a different language. I want them to share clothes and makeup and accessories to the point where nobody really remembers who owned what first. ( I want everyone to wear the other people’s merch always)

I want them to speak about their siblings like they are shared between the five of them. I want Tim to ask Donna a question when he is too embarrassed to ask Dick, and Cassie to ask Dick when she doesn’t want Donna to know, etc.

I want the mentors to be the other people’s aunt and uncles. ( I want the mentors and adults in their life to have a group chat where they try and help each other keep track of what their kids are doing bc gods know they won’t just tell them, so whenever they have a sleepover or a mission in one persons city, they let’s the rest of the mentors know. I also want the mentors to constantly send ‘baby’ photos and videos of their ‘kids’ in the group chat)

I want the dating history within the group to be so fucking confusing that you need a collage level lecture to understand it from the outside.

I want all of them to be married to other titans, but nobody really remembers who is married to who, especially since most of them are married to multiple people. ( a mix of Vegas weddings, undercover missions that took a turn, space rituals and traditions they got court up in, bets that were won and lost, and very intense dnd campaigns)

I want their private group chat to have more encryptions and protections than pentagon and the batcomputer put together. I want the GC to be filled with Drunken voice notes, homemade memes, pictures that should never see the light of day, secrets and jokes that would get them into soooo much trouble.

I want them to bring one or two titans along to family and work events. I want people to bet on which of the friends will go with Roy vs who will go as Dicks date to the fancy Galas, bc you can bet your ass they will be there as arm candy on their arms. (Having your friends at the Gala is the only thing that makes going to these Galas bearable). I want them to sneak out every time and go to a random fast food restaurant.

I want their fighting styles to be so engrained in each other that it is impossible to figure out who thought who what, and which of them was the first person to introduce this move into the equation.

I want outsiders to look at them and be confused if one of the OG titans are standing alone without one of the other titans. Do you see the vision?

[olailamajnoon]

Cass: *puts a load in and starts washing machine*

Washing Machine: *stops*

Washing Machine, in a tinny voice: Hello. Can I request you to remove the seventeen different ancient coins you have stuffed inside your suit pockets.

Cass: ...

Cass: No, you stinky little metal mouse butt.

Washing Machine: *sighs*

Later, at dinner:

Cass, to Bruce: When were you going to tell me that our washing machine has become intelligent.

Bruce: *lowers his hand and looks at her*

The rest of the Batfam: *stares*

Bruce: what.

Cass, unconcernedly: I had a whole conversation with our machine this afternoon. It gave me tips for folding my kevlar suits, and expressed appreciation for my taste in coin collection.

Bruce:...

The rest of the kids:...

Stephanie: Cass.

Dick: So just to be clear. You had an entire conversation with an inanimate object.

Cass: ...yes?

Jason: Hallelujah!

Tim: (chuckling) Welcome to the family!

Dick: You're not truly a bat until the appliances start talking.

Bruce: For me it was the toaster oven. It insisted I wasn’t preheating it properly.

Damian: Father, Grayson, Drake, Todd. You're all saying...you have had long talks with...things?

Tim: Oh I had an entire codependent relationship with the refrigerator. It lasted for three weeks.

Damian:..

Cass:...

Cass: I am beginning to question my involvement in this family.

Damian: So am I.

Stephanie: Relax, baby bats. It's just all the sleep deprivation with some caffeine addiction thrown in. You didn't really think you'd get away with it scot-free, did you?

Cass: *stands up* If you all will excuse me, I have to put a great deal of distance between us.

Damian: *pushes back his plate and stands up* Cain I will come with you. This family is, as the saying goes, nuttier than a fruitcake.

Cass: *walking away* Just give me a moment, Damian, to say goodbye to a friend.

Damian: Cain. Why are you heading towards the laundry room?

[goosensuch]

ur all crazy for believing that Buck denying his feelings for Eddie means he doesn’t have feelings for Eddie.

I know this sounds counter intuitive. but I think if they were telling the audience that Buck loves Eddie as a friend, he would be reacting very differently to Eddie leaving.

in the context of the episode, buck spends the whole time talking about eddie and processing that eddie is gone. We saw the reactions eddies friends and collegues had to his departure, they are happy for him. buck cannot be.

Furthermore, so far in the season, his entire arc is losing Eddie. If the show was working towards buck and tommy getting back together, his feelings for tommy would have been raised at least once. instead, for the whole three episodes, buck is freaking out over Eddie leaving.

My point being, narratively speaking, buck’s arc is about Eddie, not about Tommy.

Now yes, buck and Tommy did hook up. But they hooked up in Eddie’s house, and 1/2 conversations we saw them have was about Eddie. Eddie looms like a fridged wife over their hook up and the narrative. and now we get to the denial.

The show is textually introducing the concept of Buck being in love with Eddie. This needs to be done because while a lot of fans are seeing the chemistry between the characters, there’s an epistemic gap that needs to be bridged to where the show itself can make their relationship into Plot.

We are starting thus, with their dynamic as codependent best friends. It would be boring to have Buck wake up one morning and simply come to the conclusion that he is in love with Eddie. This realisation has to come from a level of conflict in the story. Buck has to change in some way, grow or evolve in order to reach this conclusion. So, this episode was the set up to begin that growth. The idea of him being in love with Eddie is introduced, and he vehemently denies it.

BUT the denial is rather weak.

“You live in his house” - “it’s not his house, he’s a renter”

“You have feelings for him” - “he’s straight, plus I don’t have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for.”

In the scene with Tommy, he doesn’t even say that he’s not in love with Eddie, he is flustered, gives excuses, then lashes out because the conversation is uncomfortable.

In the grander scheme, the textual confirmation that Tommy broke up with Buck because he saw Eddie as competition adds more credence to Buck and Eddie being the end game couple here, not Buck and Tommy. We don’t see any of Tommy’s interior world, his thoughts or feelings. If this was about Tommy’s insecurities, it would be established that way. When it is raised in this latest episode, Buck would have gone “no girl, I don’t like him I liked you, why did u break up with me over that?” And we would get a scene of them deepening their bond and discussing their insecurities.

Instead, Buck lashes out in discomfort, pushes Tommy away again, and then goes to Maddie. His main take away from his conversation with Tommy is him being in love with Eddie. If it was about Tommy, the conversation would focus on how Buck hurt Tommy, how he feels guilty and needs to make amends. While this does come up, the focus of the conversation is the Eddie thing. Again, Buck denies his feelings, using Eddie’s heterosexuality as a shield. Maddies reaction here is more interesting to me. Her calling into question Buck’s feelings towards Eddie, as someone close to Buck, is confirmation to me that buck is not a reliable narrator of his own emotions at the moment. She has seen his journey to discovering his sexuality, and understands that he is sometimes clueless to the obvious things in front of him. Her calmly calling into question how he feels is the first time he is given space to consider this reality.

Once again, if it was about Tommy, the Eddie thing would be discussed as something Tommy said, why he might think that. But the main focus is on whether Buck is in love with Eddie or not.

On a separate note, Buck is baking again. He’s not baking over his break up with Tommy, he’s baking over his loss of Eddie. This parallel, showing bucks feelings for Tommy as equivalent to his feelings for Eddie, by showing him coping with their loss in the same way, is honest to god textual evidence that buddie is going canon. Yes it’s a small detail but I think an important one.

Buck isn’t even aware that he’s doing it, he’s absentmindedly baking from the moment Eddie leaving becomes real. Much like he’s unaware of how he feels about Eddie. He’s coping the same way out of instinct.

While his words speak to one reality, his actions speak to another. There is a very clear line being drawn between how Buck is reacting to Eddie leaving, and how everyone else is feeling. Textually introducing Buck being in love with Eddie with a denial of this does not necessitate Buck not being in love with Eddie. It speaks to an arc beginning. If the arc was Buck and Tommy being getting back together, Buck would be focused on their hook up and conversation, not on whether he’s hypothetically in love with his straight best friend.

[theskywithin]

💘 The 7th House Ruler Through the Houses

7th House Ruler in the 1st House

You learned love by becoming what others needed. Somewhere across lifetimes, you absorbed the belief that belonging is earned through disappearance. So now, your identity folds itself around the shape of the other. You call it empathy. You call it connection. But sometimes it’s amnesia. This placement is not about codependency, it’s about forgetting your edges. You don’t fall in love, you merge. And then wonder where you went. The self becomes a suggestion, flickering in someone else’s reflection. You are not the echo of anyone’s desire. You are the original pulse. The face beneath the mask. The soul before it contorted itself into something lovable.

7th House Ruler in the 2nd House

You want to be worth the keeping. Not for what you give, or how you hold, or who you become to stay. Just… worth it. But there is a part of you that doesn't quite believe it. A flicker behind your eyes that still asks: Will I be chosen when I’m not proving anything? You've carried that question for lifetimes, sometimes in silence, sometimes in gold, sometimes in staying too long with someone who never really saw you. You learned to equate closeness with compensation, as if love must be earned through self-erasure. But you're not here to barter with your being. You are not a currency. You are not an apology. You are not something to be deserved. Let love come when you're still. Let it echo back, not because you've become more but because you were always enough.

7th House Ruler in the 3rd House

You know how to mimic connection with words. You’ve spent lifetimes translating emotion into language, writing your longings into poems, answering questions no one asked just to feel close. Conversation became survival. Cleverness became camouflage. And so, you speak beautifully sometimes instead of being known. You are fluent in the dialect of detachment. You can make someone feel seen without ever letting them feel you. Because in some far-off memory, expression led to exposure. Truth led to exile. But your voice wasn’t meant to hide you. It was meant to carry your soul into the open. Let someone hear the words you don’t polish. The ones that tremble. The ones that undo you.

7th House Ruler in the 4th House

You carry the blueprint of love in your nervous system. Not from this life, from the ones where affection was quiet, survival-based, coded into ritual instead of spoken. You remember the sound of withheld tenderness. You remember reading the emotional weather of a room like scripture. Now, connection doesn’t feel safe unless it feels familiar and sometimes, familiarity means walking on eggshells. You don’t trust warmth that comes too easily. You wait for the moment it turns cold. But love is not a reenactment. Home is not supposed to feel like a test. Let yourself be held in a space that doesn’t ask you to monitor your every breath. Let your heart stop bracing. You don’t have to keep building intimacy out of ruins.

7th House Ruler in the 5th House

Your love is laced with longing for something unnamed. Not joy, not romance, something stranger. Something that lived in your chest before you ever touched desire. It’s not about expression. It’s not about passion. It’s about remembering how to feel without bracing. You’ve worn so many versions of beauty you forgot which one was yours. In other lives, you might have been adored for the wrong reasons, or watched as something precious to you was misunderstood, objectified, mythologized. Now, you carry a quiet distance from your own delight, unsure if you can trust it. You don’t want to be consumed. You want to be seen without being taken. There is a deep ache here, not to shine, but to exist in your full texture without being cast into anyone else’s story. Let love arrive as a presence that says: I don’t need you to impress me. I want to know what your heart sounds like when no one is listening.

7th House Ruler in the 6th House

You’ve made love a ritual of endurance. It’s not that you expect to suffer, it’s that you’ve confused suffering with devotion. You offer your time, your labor, your capacity to hold someone else’s chaos. You call it loyalty. But sometimes, it’s penance. In other lives, love was responsibility. Service. A sacred kind of self-abandonment. Now, you measure your worth by how useful you are. You treat your tenderness like a transaction: If I care enough, they’ll stay. If I carry enough, they’ll choose me. But love is not earned through exhaustion. You are not here to be someone's stability while starving for your own. Let someone meet you in your softness, not your sacrifice. Let them stay when you have nothing left to offer.

7th House Ruler in the 7th House

You are made for reflection, but not for erasure. Partnership is stitched into the fabric of your path. You don't just crave connection, you become whole through it. But there is danger in this mirror, too. If you’re not careful, you vanish into the reflection. You’ve spent lifetimes defining yourself through the eyes of another. Becoming their projection. Their dream. Their container. So now, you recognize love as alignment but sometimes forget that alignment requires two whole selves. This is not about attracting love. It's about remembering who you are outside of it. You don’t need to contort yourself to stay in view. You are not a placeholder. You are not a backdrop. You are a world of your own. Let love orbit you, not eclipse you.

7th House Ruler in the 8th House

Love has always been a place of unraveling. You don’t “date.” You initiate. You merge. You descend. Partnership isn’t a bond, it’s a reckoning. A portal. A ritual of shedding skin. You seek out the ones who undress your psyche, who break open the vault, who offer you transformation disguised as intimacy. But be honest, are you letting yourself be met, or are you testing to see who survives you? Somewhere in your past-lives, closeness meant betrayal, or loss, or possession. And now, even when love is safe, you brace. This is a lifetime of rewriting that contract. Of letting someone hold you without having to earn it through blood. Let love be deep without being destructive. Let someone see you without tearing you apart.

7th House Ruler in the 9th House

You remember love as a pilgrimage. In other lives, it began with distance, foreign lands, spiritual longing, shared purpose, far horizons. You didn’t just want a partner. You wanted someone to walk the edge of the world with. Someone whose love cracked you open to the eternal. Now, you still crave expansion. You want love that stretches your beliefs, your borders, your body’s memory of what’s possible. But be careful, you might keep running toward the infinite to avoid being touched in the present. Not every soul encounter comes with a lightning strike. Not every truth needs a telescope. Let love meet you in the now. In the closeness. In the simplicity of being seen on an ordinary afternoon. You’re not here to find heaven through someone else. You’re here to remember it was never separate.

7th House Ruler in the 10th House

You wear your relationships like architecture. You build love into your legacy, shape your partnerships like cathedrals, sacred, structured, high-stakes. In other lives, intimacy was status, strategy, survival. You learned to tie your worth to what was witnessed. To what the world could admire. Now, you still measure the success of love by what it looks like from the outside. You perform stability. You pose in intimacy. You know how to play the role. But love does not require a performance review. You don’t need to be impressive to be chosen. The most meaningful devotion may never make it into the biography. Let yourself be loved in the quiet. In the unposted. In the places where the scaffolding falls away and only the truth remains.

7th House Ruler in the 11th House

You are fluent in potential. You don’t fall for people, you fall for what could be. The version of them you see in their quietest moment, the glimpse they haven’t stepped into yet. You build futures before foundations. You speak to the part of someone they don’t know how to hold and then wonder why you’re left holding it alone. In other lifetimes, your vision was medicine. Now, it’s also a mask. You hide behind ideas. You chase resonance over reality. You long for something collective, but ache in the quiet of what’s personal. It’s not that your love is too big, it’s that it wants to touch the sky before it’s touched the skin. Let someone meet you where your hands are. Let intimacy be the dream you don’t have to explain.

7th House Ruler in the 12th House

You’ve loved in silence. Across lifetimes, you’ve poured yourself into connections no one else could see. Soul bonds that never took shape. Longings that lingered like perfume in an empty room. Now, you still feel people before you know them. You remember them before they arrive. But this sensitivity is both a gift and a ghost. You fall for potential, for psychic proximity, for the ache of what almost was. You grieve what never became, and sometimes, you hide behind the fog so you don’t have to risk being touched. But love is not safer in secrecy. You are not safer in silence. Let yourself be known in the flesh, not just the dream. Let love find you where you are, not only where you’ve been.

My book The Sky Within helps you break down your entire birth chart to better understand yourself and your path:

[minkieater]

EIGHT FIRST DATES ꨄ︎

006 》 LEE HEESEUNG

the idea of going back to someone from your past to move on from someone new is common, but only in certain situations does it actually work. with thanksgiving only two weeks away, you don’t have time to make mistakes, nor does your situation call for anyone from your past. but hey, your twenties are for making mistakes, aren’t they?

wc 20.3k | smut minors dni! drinking, weed mentions, drunk sex, uhhh so much happens in this so good luck i guess

soft kisses pressed along your jaw, a hand in your hair, lightly scratching at your roots… a muddled groan came from deep in your chest as you peeled your eyes open, a very shirtless seonghwa laid over your chest, beckoning you awake. 

“time to get up, rich girl,” his voice was husky, groggy, you knew he’d just woken up, too. 

you groaned again, your own voice raspy and hoarse with sleep, “i’d pay you to use my name at this point.” 

his chuckle was short-lived as he pulled away from you, stealing all of your warmth. you shivered beneath the pink blanket, quickly pulling it over your shoulders, blinking rapidly to force your eyes to stay open. seonghwa lifts himself off the mattress, stretching his arms above his head once he stands up, still butt naked. the sight brings a lazy, remembering smile to your cheeks. 

“what time is it?” you ask as you look around his place, the light peering in from the windows told you it was barely dawn. 

“six thirty,” he answered as he walked across his apartment, your eyes following his toned abdomen as he made his way to the clothing rack. “i have work in thirty minutes.”

“six thirty?!” you reiterate in surprise, “we went to sleep not even two hours ago.”

seonghwa barely reacts, his voice sounding utterly disinterested, “i told you i had work early.”

you curse under your breath, hands coming up to rub at your eyes. you can’t remember the last time you were up this early. 

“i’m gonna take a shower,” he walks past the mattress again, and throws a pile of clothes on it as he walks by. “are you heading out now? or waiting until i’m out of the shower?” 

you plant your arms down at your sides over the blanket, staring at him with a crease in your brows. after barely any sleep, you opened your eyes not even five minutes ago– the nerve of that question. “does it look like i’m ready to go right now?” 

“good point,” he nodded, completely unaffected by your frustration and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving you to hear the squeak of the handle and then the noise of water hitting the shower floor.

you sighed, closing your eyes again, but your adrenaline was pumping from being irritated and not being in your own home– you couldn’t bring yourself to take another five minute nap while he was gone. you took your time getting up off the mattress, you hunted for your clothes scattered across the hardwood, lifting blankets and pillows scattered around the floor to find every piece. 

you and seonghwa barely slept– countless rounds in the sheets and endless conversations between them, you didn’t want to. neither did he. you talked about everything that you could, not one topic easy to think about let alone discuss with someone you just met. you told him more about your dad, about your siblings, your friends, he made you break everything down. how your dad’s death affected you emotionally, why you waited so long to date, why mingyu was so heartbreaking for you. 

he made you dissect your relationship with ace, how it differed from your relationship with vivi. why you had pent up feelings toward your little sister, most of it having to do with jealousy that she was too young to feel the weight of your father’s death, some of it that she was simply just sixteen. 

your codependency on your twin and three best friends was a lengthy one. seonghwa supposed how you were raised had the biggest hand to play, four families with money that could do whatever they wanted, dress their five children in matching outfits and call them siblings– what he couldn’t understand was how dependent you were on each other now. why you’re together so often, share as much as you do, how there’s no underlying sexual tension with any of them. 

you managed to hold one thing close to your heart, at least. you didn’t dare bring up the shared night with yunho. you were petrified of what seonghwa would have to say. 

seonghwa shared more about his childhood, about having such a young mother, being raised with her by his grandmother, her mother. she was just a kid, too, and seonghwa knew that more than anyone else. she had to grow up too fast with absolutely zero resources, but instead of ending up just like her, he went to school, began working as soon as he was old enough– so he wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else, so if they left him too, it wouldn’t destroy everything he’d built. 

you felt closer to him now, even if that seemed impossible after your first conversation. you braced yourself mentally, you knew you’d have a lot to think about for days to come, a lot of emotion to work through, and only a portion of it had to do with seonghwa himself. 

when he came out of the bathroom again, your clothes were on and the mattress was made so perfectly it was as if you had never laid in it at all– even his clothes were in a perfectly neat pile at the foot of the bed. your hair was tied up, you were sure your makeup was a wreck, but as seonghwa looked between you and his perfectly made bed, that was the last thing on your mind. 

he sighed, but his face was somewhat appreciative, he knew about your need to keep a tidy space, you told him all about it last night. “i know in your brain you had to do that, but you really didn’t have to. thank you.”

“now you have a made bed to come home to,” you smiled proudly with your hands on your hips, coming home to a made bed was a good feeling, you wanted to take something else off his plate– or make at least one thing a little easier. cleaning up has definitely brightened your spirits.

he drops the towel and grabs his boxers from the mattress, pulling them up his legs, “look, i had a good time last night–”

your face drops. he notices. 

“–and we get along terrifyingly well, but i don’t have the time or the energy to fulfill whatever you’re looking for.” 

you gulped. what are you even supposed to say to that? on one hand, you completely understand– he cares for two kids basically by himself, has three jobs, he’s right. he didn’t have the time, he couldn’t fulfill what you needed, what you were looking for in a partner, you two came from two completely different worlds. you were silly to think it’d progress past one night– one really, really good night you’d think about for weeks to come.

on the other hand, it puts a pit in your stomach. you like him, last night was one of the best nights of your life, you’ve never connected with someone on such a deep level, and never so fast. he saw the deepest, darkest parts of you last night, pulled them from inside you like weeds and accepted them, analyzed them, gave you a starting point to work through them– and he doesn’t want to see you again? it hurts just as much as you understand why. 

you didn’t even wipe the crust from your eyes yet and a tightness forced itself in your throat that you couldn’t do anything about. you put on a fake smile, as much as it hurt, this wasn’t your decision to make. “i get it.” 

he looked at you like he pitied you, brows slightly downturned, a glimpse of a frown on his lips you spent too long kissing. you felt small beneath his gaze, you couldn’t believe you started last night feeling bad for him and now he felt bad for you. you tried to crack a joke to fill the tension in the air, “is this another rich girl always gets what she wants moment?” 

his lips curved upward, humor flying from his nose. he walked to you in two short strides, taking a moment to stare down at you, something else beneath the black ice. “no, not this time.” 

he wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you into a hug, intoxicating you with his smell. every part of you wanted to cry, you felt dramatic, you wanted to wait in his shitty little apartment until he was finished work and repeat the night before all over again. you breathed him in, tucked your head into his chest and let him comfort you, the first time he’s done it, and unfortunately for you, the last. 

“thank you,” you didn’t mean the to-go boxes of food, or the water bottle he’d brought you after your first round, or the countless rounds that followed. seonghwa knew exactly what you meant. 

the drive home was cold, you made the distance in complete silence, already replaying the previous twelve hours of your life. when you made it home, only your mom was awake, sitting on the couch with a mug full of coffee and her reading glasses on, only looking up from her phone to watch you walk through the front door. 

“are you just getting home?” she asked, dropping her phone into her lap, “i didn’t even know you were gone.” 

you took one look at her, with her perfect hair and perfect makeup, silk pajamas on her body. your feet were bringing you towards her without even realizing, throat so tight you thought it might close. 

“what's wrong?” she asked as she set her coffee mug down on the table beside her, her voice worried. your bottom lip trembled as you stood before her, hair messily tied up and makeup smudged across your face. “tiny, talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” 

you crawled onto the couch, putting your head in her lap like you were five years old again, and you fucking lost it. sobs ripped from your chest that you felt like you’d been keeping in for years, your knees tucked into your abdomen, arms cradling your head. she stayed quiet as her hands scratched at your scalp, she let you release. she let you process every emotion, every word that you’d spoken in the past twelve hours, every nasty thing you realized about yourself, the thought that you’d have to let go of seonghwa fully.

when your sobs got quieter, turning into weak cries that were farther and farther apart, she spoke. “what happened, my love?” 

you took a moment, thinking, processing. when’s the last time you said thank you to her? the pit in your stomach got impossibly heavier. “am i a good daughter?” 

“of course you are,” she answered without hesitation, “why do you ask?” 

you sniff, positive your snot had already made a stain in her silk pajama pants. “i don’t say thank you enough. i don’t appreciate you enough.” another sob followed. 

she patted your head again, manicured nails massaging at your roots now. “you don’t need to say things for me to feel them, tiny.” she took a breath, and then took a moment to brace herself. “i’ll never forget the day your father died, it was the worst day of my life. but i remember looking at you, ace and vivi, my babies, and vowing that i’d do whatever i could to keep you three happy. you looked at me before you went to bed that night, teary eyed and snot nosed like you are right now, and you said, ‘never leave, mommy.’” 

“when you looked at me and said those words to my face, you meant more than leaving your bedroom, you meant more than going with your father. you were asking me to be by your side forever, no matter what. granted i already said yes to that the day i got pregnant with you, but… i felt like we made a promise that day. it’s the most important promise i’ve ever made, more important than the times i’ve said i do.” 

as you listened, you hadn’t realized your sobs had slowed down again, or that your breath had gotten slower, heavier. you don’t know if your eyes were open this entire time. 

“i know you love me, i know you appreciate me, we have that promise that we made that day to remind me every day. me and you, no one else, tiny. my first baby girl.” 

──────  ꨄ︎

“ace, they’ll be here any minute! put on some clothes, get out of the kitchen!”

your mother’s voice rang through the first floor of your house like an alarm clock, her angry-but-stressed voice was going to push you over the edge. they are the same three families that your family’s been hanging out with since you were born, coming over for drinks to ‘catch up’, as your mom said it. you knew the truth, there was nothing to catch up on, they just wanted to drink and talk and be. you couldn’t complain, that meant good food and a house full of your favorite people. 

ace had just returned from the gym, he’d stripped his shirt before walking into the kitchen, eyes already on the hunt for what food he wanted to try first. you rolled your eyes at the thought, how nice it must be to be a man and only need five minutes to get ready, including a shower. 

vivi was in a dress, her blue hair curled around her shoulders. loafers and ankle socks on her feet, it was practically her uniform whenever your parents invited people over. your mother was in her best form, hair voluminous, makeup soft but sultry, a mid-length dress on her body. matt was in a polo, dress pants, loafers on his feet… it was up to ace to complete the performance, to show the others that you were that family. the others showed up dressed to the nines as well, supporting acts to your mother, although you were sure they loved it just as much. 

yeosang’s family piled in first as they usually did, followed by san’s, then yunho’s who always drifted the line of being late. you were sure his mother preferred it that way, fashionably late and all. 

seonghwa lived inside you the past few days, and as much as you wished it was physical, it was unfortunately all mental— it made you look at nights like these differently. what should be a night of celebrating each other, just by being together, was always overshadowed by flaunting. if not overshadowed, then an ulterior motive of ‘look what i have!’ 

you’d think after over two decades of friendship your parents and their friends would cease the bragging— you wished they would— but god, did they love it. they fed off of it, off of each other. only now did it put a pit in your stomach, only now did you think this isn’t what you want your future to look like. you felt like seonghwa had reached inside your head and twisted up every part of your brain. 

you didn’t put on a dress nor a skirt, your makeup wasn’t as perfectly curated as you’d typically spend an hour doing, your hair was in a single braid down the back of your head. jeans hung freely off your hips and a tee shirt hugged your torso, sneakers on your feet. your mother had blinked at you when you walked down the steps then quickly replaced her expression with a frown, saying, “that’s what you’re wearing?” 

you smiled proudly with a nod of your head. the words pretentious rich girl repeated in your head over the last few days like a mantra, the words were like claws digging deeper and deeper in your head, drawing blood every time you close your eyes. you didn’t want it, you didn’t want to be that person— you didn’t want to raise your kids in an environment where their parents showed off for fun, where they had to get dressed to impress in the comfort of their own home. 

at least tonight wasn’t catered, you thought, everyone was bringing something over instead, but you’re sure everything was store bought or delivered— god forbid anyone in these families lifted a finger, you wondered if anyone actually cooked. 

you made your rounds of hello’s, kissing the cheeks of the other mothers and side hugs to the other fathers, just for every single one to look you up and down with an eyebrow ever so slightly raised as if you wouldn’t notice. 

yeosang, san and yunho paid no mind, or at least they didn’t say anything about your change in appearance, they’ve seen you in anything and everything and nothing by now. yeosang and san were in polos, dress pants and sneakers in pristine condition, yunho in a dark pair of loose jeans, a tee and vans. you’d always paid attention to your own siblings outfits, but those three? did they always dress like that? were they told to? as you scanned the three, your head tilted to the side in thought, one of these is not like the others. 

ace finally came back downstairs with a deep blue pair of jeans and a linen button up, the top two unbuttoned with a chain laid on the exposed skin. a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose, a watch on his wrist, socks on his feet… casual but stylish, as per usual, you wondered if he wanted to be in that outfit or if he’d rather be in sweats. he was quick to escape to the garage for a beer. 

you stood in the kitchen as all of your families surrounded you, back pressed to the slab of granite that was your island, your friends surrounding you. 

“wanna go hop on the game?” san asked the group, a glass of whiskey in his hands, black hair slicked back with what you were sure took an absurd amount of gel.

“i doubt we’ll get away with that yet,” yunho shook his head, a beer between his hands, “at least give it an hour.” 

“an hour?” you raise your eyebrows, elbows bent over the counter behind you, “try two, they’re gonna bring us into about sixteen different conversations first.” 

“tiny!” your mom calls over her shoulder as if she heard you, and you look at the three boys in front of you with a smirk. 

“i told you,” you shrug, then make your way over to the circle of moms, all of them in the same uniform. you plant a smile on your face before you face them, brushing your hair behind your ear, “whats up?”

“i was just telling them about that boy,” your mom smacks her lips, “what's his name? jeongin?” 

“jisung, not jeongin,” you shake your head with a laugh, “that one was all yeosang.” 

yeosang’s mom’s eyebrows went into her hairline, “he didn’t tell me he met someone!” she whips her head around in the direction of the boys and you almost feel bad for snitching. “yeosang! who is jeongin?” 

yeosang groans as his head tips back, he stalks over, falling into conversation with his mom about jeongin. your smile grows wider as you bring your attention back to the three other moms in front of you, full wine glasses in their hands. “jisung was great! he’s a– uh songwriter, composer? some kind of music major.” 

“that’s not you,” san’s mom shakes her head, perfectly curled dark hair falling around her face, “a music major? you’ll grow bored in no time, there’s no money in that.”

your eyebrows raise, but yunho’s mom cuts in with a look that shows nothing but relief, “we’re so lucky our boys are in finance.” 

“except mine,” your mom adds, a proud smile on her face, “having another lawyer in the family will be so useful.” 

“for who? vivi?” it rolls off your tongue without a second thought and all three heads turn to you, surprise on their faces.

“that’s not funny, tiny,” your mom scolds, then takes a sip of her wine, bringing her attention back to the moms. “tiny’s just dating, it’s not like the music boy would’ve ever been serious.” 

“he could’ve been,” you argue with pointed eyes, arms crossing over your chest, a pit growing in your stomach. “and what if he was? if he was standing here right now, beside me.” 

your mom blinks at you, her jaw tightening. she doesn’t get a word out before san’s mom cuts in, “what happened to the whiskey guy? mingi?” 

“min-gyu,” you correct, and her mouth falls open in remembrance with a strung out oh. you look over your shoulder, searching for someone to come save you. yunho catches your eye, and his legs move before you could mouth the word help. 

“he was great, and loaded, i’m sure,” the three of them laugh without you, “whatever happened to him?” 

“it just didn’t work out,” you shake your head simply, wanting, needing the subject to change immediately.

“why not? he was fantastic,” yunho’s mom adds, talking with her hands, wine sloshing around in her crystal glass. “he talked to us, joked with us, he owns a business. definitely well off.” 

as yunho made his way to your side, his ears perked up at the words– he already knew who the topic of discussion was. his mom continues, “i’m sure you could’ve been married within the year, your life could be so comfortable.” 

“that’s not what i’m interested in,” you shake your head, arms over your chest tightening further.

at the same time, yunho adds, “that doesn’t matter to her, mom.” 

you look up to him with a look of appreciation and surprise for sticking up for you, and he gives you the smallest smile full of warmth. he takes a step closer to you, the denim on your hips almost touching his. a chill rushes through you at the closeness, how huge he feels next to you– he’s always been that big, you tell yourself, yet the realization felt new. different. 

“that’s a shame,” san’s mom shakes her head, lips pursing, “when you get older, you’ll understand how much living a comfortable lifestyle matters.” 

comfortable– what she actually meant was more money than you know what to do with. 

when you thought about your future, money was never in the question– you supposed it was your privilege that left it from your thoughts in the first place. you always saw yourself teaching, maybe in a school of your own, with a husband who was everything you’d ever wanted. you never even considered not having enough money to do it.

“she’ll be just fine,” yunho gives a singular shake of his head, and with one statement the conversation is shut down completely. san’s mom’s smile never leaves her face, and it brings one to yours. he really did save you when you needed him to.

“yes she will,” yunho’s mom smiles at you, eyes warm and caring, she genuinely meant it. “baby tiny, our girl, how could she not be with you boys at her side?” 

your cheeks flush, heat crawling up your spine– what did she mean by that? you think back to your night with giselle and julie, everything you realized. was she in on it? was it ace, your mom and yunho’s mom? is yunho in on it, too? 

a nervous laugh escapes your lips, brain scrambling for something to say. “does anyone need another drink? more wine?” as you look around the circle, every glass is still full of wine. your laugh comes out forced as you look up to yunho, “actually, maybe we should go play the game.”

yunho nods and you all but run off to grab your friends, damn near pulling them by the collars of their shirts down to your basement. you sit at the corner with ace sitting beside you, the other boys taking their spots with controllers in hands. you immediately text giselle and julie, needing to get this off of your chest immediately. 

you: yunho situation is becoming scary  you: idk if im being paranoid or what

julie: whats going on

you: idk im tweaking i think you: save me

giselle: i have good news!!! giselle: ENA is throwing sat night giselle: does that help

you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, you hadn’t seen heeseung in months. not even a glimpse, not even on social media, save for the ENA instagram page you avoided like the plague. the whole reason you stopped going to ENA was because of him and your weird hookup relationship that wasn’t a relationship at all— it became too much, hooking up with him weekend after weekend (if he felt like it) and not getting as much as a hello when you’d see each other on campus. 

you: yes actually it kind of does  you: lol what if i texted him

julie: um  julie: WHO

giselle: girl the whole reason you stopped going was bc of him giselle: that boy is not gonna be your boyfriend on thanksgiving

you: well yeah no shit you: but…….do i care

“—that fucking sword! i’m dead, i’m dead, i’m dead— fuck, i’m really dead. please heal me, please please please please—”

you paid no mind to ace’s yells from beside you, typing away on your phone, a smile on your face with your fingernail between your teeth. 

giselle: i mean fuck it

julie: i think you should text SEONGHWA 🩷

giselle: jules :/ too soon

you: too soon indeed 💔💔💔

a giggle leaves your lips as you scroll through your phone, fingers tapping to go into your settings, to your block list. you find don’t answer easily, and unblock him with two taps to your screen. 

you: hey

you quickly lock your phone and place it on your lap, staring at the flatscreen TV in front of you as if you didn’t do anything at all– but your heart thumping against your chest beneath your tee shirt tells you exactly what you just did.

“if we place second again, we’re shutting this shit off,” san huffs from the other side of the couch, catching your attention. you watch as the game reloads, and let your head fall to the back of the couch. 

“i’m thirsty,” you mumble to no one in particular, more of a complaint than anything. yunho hops up from his spot and throws the controller down to where he was sitting, walking towards your carpeted staircase. 

“where are you going? we’re getting loaded into another game,” ace sits up a little straighter, his eyebrows twisted in confusion, a hand pointed toward the flatscreen in front of him. 

“i’m getting another drink, my beer’s empty,” he shrugs at the platform, “tiny said she was thirsty, too.” 

“ooh! can you get me a surfside from the garage?” your head lifts back up, eyes wide and hopeful. yunho shoots you a nod with a tight lipped smile. 

“i need another, too,” ace shakes his can side to side, “your hands are big enough to carry three.” 

“you should come with me,” yunho blinks at ace, all warmth in his expression gone, and ace takes a second to respond– all of you are well aware of how many cans yunho can carry in his hands. 

“okay,” ace hops up off the couch quickly, then looks to san and yeosang, “put us back in the lobby, or at least drop us somewhere safe. be right back.”

your eyebrows furrow as your twin walks across the room in front of you, then follows yunho up the stairs. you turn to san and yeosang, raising a brow, “that was weird, right?” 

san shrugs, and yeosang shakes his head. yeosang blurts, “no, not weird at all. normal actually, he needs help carrying the cans.” 

you stare at them both for a moment longer, but neither react. you pick your phone back up, texts from don’t answer on your screen– your heartbeat quickens, eyes blinking rapidly just in case you read it wrong. nope, definitely heeseung. 

don’t answer: broooo no way don’t answer: u unblocked me?? 

you purse your lips– you started this, yet somehow you regretted it already. 

you: yes lol you: heard you were throwing this weekend

don’t answer: we throw like every weekend  don’t answer: that's not an excuse 😭 don’t answer: u miss me huh

you: always so confident you: i miss your parties yeah

don’t answer: nah u miss this dick

you gasped– out loud, which had the two boys jumping in their seats and turning your way with curious eyes. san’s voice was loud and slightly concerned, “what happened?” 

“nothing,” you respond too fast, fingers already typing a response. 

you: LMFAOOOOO you wish bro you: you haven't changed at all 

don’t answer: it’s only been a few months don’t answer: what were u expecting

you: i never expect anything from you

don’t answer: good don’t answer: so are u coming this weekend

you: maybe

don’t answer: ill see u then don’t answer: i miss that cute lil pussy too

that had you slamming your locked phone screen into your lap, cheeks flushed, body buzzing. san and yeosang didn’t seem to notice, too busy with using their controllers plus ace and yunho’s, but you were grateful. they knew everything about heeseung, and neither would be the slightest bit happy about you texting him.

you: btw were going to ENA this weekend

julie: YAY!!!

giselle: GIRLS NIGHT TWO WEEKS IN A ROW AHHH <333

yunho rips open the tall white door to the garage, the noise it makes rattling in his ears. his heart is thumping against his chest– ace knows how he feels about you, ace has been his confidant for years now, but it still doesn’t make it any easier that everything is starting to feel real– now ace’s advice and blessing matters.

“what’s up with you, man? running to the stairs the second she says she’s thirsty?” ace says with a lazy smile as soon as he closes the door behind him, “if you’re trying to be nonchalant that shit is not working.”

“i’m not trying to be nonchalant, not anymore,” yunho runs his hands through his hair then covers his face with them, groaning into his palms. “there’s like, three weeks left until thanksgiving, her time is running low to find a boyfriend.”

“and?” ace raises an eyebrow as he pulls open the refrigerator door, grabbing two beers, then hands one to yunho. “just confess and the problem is solved.” 

“i can’t just confess, are you fucking crazy?” yunho raises his eyebrows, taking the beer from ace’s outstretched arm and cracking the lid. “every single man she’s seen so far she’s told that we’re all brothers to her, man. how do i get past that?” 

ace looks at yunho like he’s pathetic, and it works in making yunho feel slightly silly. ace argues, “you just slept in her bed like a week ago, god, i can’t believe i'm still giving you advice about my sister.”

“only because she was drunk, and she had just finished making out with one guy all night then talked about a different one in the car,” yunho counters, taking a much needed swig of his beer. the carbonation sitting in his stomach does nothing to help the pacing of his heart. 

ace pulls his lips together in a line, “if it was anyone other than tiny i’d tell you you’re fucked, but it’s tiny, and your relationship with her has always been different than with san or yeosang. you should’ve just been honest with her from the jump and then there wouldn’t have been other guys in the first place.” 

yunho starts to pace back and forth in the garage, vans almost silent against the cement. “she needed other guys– experience and shit.”

“gross, man,” ace’s face twists in disgust, taking a step back from yunho, “now you’re crossing the line.”

“that’s not what i meant,” yunho stops in his tracks, flailing a hand toward ace in defense, “i mean, it’s the same thing with mingyu, i told her not to date him because she needs to be her age first. i wouldn’t be any better than him if the only dating experience she has is with me.”

“you’re driving yourself crazy, bro,” ace shakes his head, “do you even hear how you sound? i’ve never seen you worked up like this over anyone.” 

“she’s not anyone, ace,” yunho deadpans, “she’s the only person i’ve wanted since i was eighteen.” 

ace’s face falls flat, “and i’ve been hearing about it for almost that long, too. you don’t think i’m tired of listening to you whine about having my sister’s attention? do something about it, man.”

yunho takes a deep breath, hands coming to his hips– well, one hand and a fist, his can wrapped inside— “okay, i will.”

“really?” ace sounds surprised, like he didn’t think that would’ve worked. “finally.”

“don’t push it or else you’ll hear me complain for another five years,” yunho breathes, on ace’s heel as they walk toward the door that brings them back inside. “oh shit, i almost forgot her drink.”

ace lets a laugh out through his nose, “whole reason we came out here in the first place.”

when they get back to the basement, ace and yunho switch spots so yunho sits beside you, ace between yeosang and san. you think nothing of it as yunho hands you the surfside, a wide smile spreading across your face as he cracks the can for you, his own beer between his knees. 

“thank you,” you say excitedly, then take a sip of your drink. “you guys took so long, did the parents pull you into conversation?” 

yunho nods, “something about getting together next month for dinner.”

ace rolls his eyes from across the couch, then puts his beer on the carpet below him before picking up the controller again. “are we playing or what?” 

“yes, please,” san responds, irritation laced in his tone, “we were waiting for you.”

“don’t blame me,” yunho shakes his head, “blame your mom, she was the one who stopped us.”

“just ready up bro,” san huffs, his controller in his hands already. yeosang assesses the room with a smile, always happy go lucky as he watches– you catch his eye, wiping the small smile off his face. you pout, and he smiles again. 

the boys play another two games, losing both before the four men pull out their phones out of boredom. you sigh, you didn’t want to look at your phone in fear that heeseung had texted you again. you lay your head back on the couch in thought, you wondered how this weekend would go. 

you haven’t seen heeseung in months, and you didn’t exactly tell him you were ghosting him– not that it seems like he cares, anyhow. it was something to do, you didn’t have anyone else lined up, and you really did miss ENA. a massive house that smelled like weed and the stench of beer, dim lights and sweat covered bodies, you could use a distraction– especially after the bomb that was seonghwa.

“do you have any plans this weekend?” yunho asks from beside you, pulling your head from the comfort of the couch as if he could hear your thoughts. 

“giselle and julie are summoning me to ENA,” you respond, and four necks snap to face you. the words spilled from your lips without thought, clearly not thinking about the clear consequences. 

“heeseung’s frat?” ace leans his head forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

“can we come?” yeosang asks immediately, his face lighting up, “and can i please ask jeongin to come?”

“if giselle is going, i wanna go,” san adds, “i’ve always liked that girl.”

“wait, if i ask jeongin to go then his friends will want to go,” yeosang gives san a look, “chan? remember him?” 

“there are plenty of hours in the night, yeo,” san shakes his head, a wicked smile on his face, “and plenty of me to go around.” 

your face shows your clear disgust, “you don’t pull, first of all. second, it was supposed to be a girl’s night. just girls, since i’m always with you.”

yeosang gasps, “you say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“don’t we have other plans this weekend?” yunho’s head turns to face the rest of them, and you can read the expressions on the other’s faces. both san and yeosang’s eyebrows furrow, lips parting just to close them right after, faces losing their expressions. ace stares at yunho with a bored look as if he didn’t say anything at all. 

“why didn’t you tell me?” you pout, “what are you guys doing?” 

yunho turns back to you, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, keeping his expression blank but his voice gives it away, “we’re… going bowling.” 

“bowling?” you raise your eyebrows, assessing the four of them, “at least come up with a better excuse. i’m going to the party on saturday, if you don’t want to come, then don’t.”

“it wasn’t an excuse,” ace steps in, leaning back into the couch to get comfortable, “we made reservations and everything, just assumed you didn’t have plans, forgot you’re busy these days.”

you scoff, “i am busy, thank you very much, include me in your plans when you make them.” 

“wait, you said it was heeseung’s frat, didn’t you?” yeosang asks, glancing at ace before he turns back to you, “isn’t he why you stopped going there in the first place?”

you shrug, “it’s a big place, i probably won’t even see him. i’ll be with giselle and jules anyway.”

“giselle and julie, us now, and possibly chan’s whole friend group,” san adds, “you’ll have plenty of people to keep you hidden.” 

fuck– you should’ve told them no. as much as it was to protect you, you opened that can of worms all by yourself, and now they’ll all be there to witness it. you just smile in response, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at any of them, especially not yunho– whatever was going on between the two of you was seriously freaking you out, maybe hooking up with heeseung for old time’s sake will knock it right out of your system. 

you hoped, at least. 

──────  ꨄ︎

pregaming at your house wasn’t your idea. 

not only did you have your usual group of friends, your twin and his girlfriend in your kitchen– but also chan, jisung, jeongin and jihoon, as well as giselle and julie. twelve people took up the space with music playing through the small speaker on your kitchen counter, mainly used to just display the time, now flowing a pregame playlist through the monochromatically decorated space. 

luckily you and your friends brought color back into the room, standing catty cornered to the island in the corner of your kitchen, you stood with giselle and julie in your best frat-outing outfits. in a mini skirt, tall boots, a tiny top and an oversized jacket, you might’ve felt overdressed if it wasn’t for your two friends mirroring your outfit in the best ways: a half-drunk giselle wore a mini dress, heeled boots and a coat, and a sulking julie had deep denim on her legs, heels on her feet and a top so small you weren’t sure if you considered it a shirt. 

the lack of a coat on her shoulders told you just how drunk she planned on getting tonight.

reia hung around the three of you much to julie’s dismay, you could feel the discomfort oozing off of her as she tapped her manicured fingers against her vodka filled glass every few seconds with a blank stare. in short shorts, a strapless top and tall boots, reia’s straightened black hair almost reached her hips, olive skin glowing under the warm light of your kitchen, makeup dark and sultry and delectable. she was stunning– julie sized her up from the moment she walked through the front door, immediately greeted by ace’s lips pressed to her cheek, julie let a groan rip from so deep in her chest you were grateful only the two of you could hear. 

reia knew all about ace and julie’s history, you learned tonight that neither girls were huge fans of one another, the conversation had been dominated by you and giselle from the start. 

the boys all stood around your island, the slab of granite was the perfect length for a pong table– another thing you learned tonight. ace and yunho were playing yeosang and jeongin, ace and yunho wiping the table with them, the pair had been on a streak for three games now, which wasn’t surprising in the slightest. the other four were watching in pairs on either side of the counter, shouting as the game unfolds, all of them drinking glasses of whiskey. 

for once, you didn’t have a designated driver, all twelve of you having every intention of getting drunk and letting go tonight. no responsibilities, the cost of a driver was more than worth it, even if you would have to take two separate cars to ENA. 

you barely listened as giselle and julie talked right in front of you, zeroed in on the pong game instead– your eyes followed as yunho’s fingers let go of the pong ball, sinking it in the last cup, how his face warped into the widest grin, smacking ace’s hand with his own. yunho’s shirt hung below his waistband, a more than oversized tee paired with pants just as baggy, clean white sneakers on his feet. your feet were moving before you could think twice, sauntering up to the granite, “i want to play winners.” 

it must’ve been the vodka redbull in your glass giving you all of your confidence, you’d never been one for any sport, if you could count beer pong as athletic in any way– you were usually a watcher in any setting, you’ve played enough times to count on one hand. 

no one was as surprised as they should’ve been, alcohol coating the lining of everyone’s stomachs by now, yunho and ace both gave you a quick nod. ace started lining up his cups again, “who’s your partner?” 

you assessed the room, the girls in the corner stared at you with fear in their eyes– you wouldn’t do that to them. you purse your lips before your eyes land on a mop of curly brown hair, a smile growing on your face– perhaps you could break the ice on a friendship with him. “you up for it, ji?” 

his eyes widen before he’s smiling and nodding in your direction. the two of you set up opposite yunho and ace, organizing your cups in a triangle. yunho speaks up from across the granite, voice lazy and tone laced with liquor, “we’re not going easy on you, can’t fuck up our streak.” 

you peel off your jacket, throwing it on the counter behind jihoon and san who paid no mind to you, their eyes on the table, then rub your hands together with a cocky smile you had no business wearing. you looked straight at yunho as you said, “do your worst, then.”

oh, this confidence was definitely from the vodka– you took another swig of your glass placed to the side before the boys rolled the balls to you, jisung picking both up and handing one to you. jisung looks at you, eyebrows scrunched in stress, “are you good at this?” 

you shake your head as you dip your ball into the solo cup full of water closest to you, “not at all.”

his face transforms as he dips his in a cup too, giggling as he says, “this game is going to be over so quick.” 

it’s clear you want to go first as you inch closer to the center of the granite, jisung quickly stepping back to make way. you furrow your brows, your island was definitely longer than most tables used for pong, and higher up, too. you lift your arm, and without thought you throw it– it bounces once, landing in a cup center of the boy’s triangle. 

your friends cheer, and your eyes widen, a smile stretching over your features as you clap your hands together, “no fucking way!”

the girls have moved closer now, standing around the island with the boys, smiles on their faces. you turn to jisung and he looks nervous, “don’t expect me to do that, too.” 

“i’ll carry us,” you wave a hand, “apparently i’m godly at pong.”

he snorts as he moves to the center, sizing up the table, arm bending up before he shoots. his ball hits the edge of a cup, bouncing to the floor. he looks to you with a pout, “i told you.” 

both balls are in the boys' possession now– ace goes first, landing a cup in the back corner, and you pull it off to the side. yunho shoots and does the same thing as jisung, hitting the edge of a cup at the top, and it bounces off to the side of jisung. 

you cock your head as you look at yunho, mischief in your eyes and a smirk playing on your lips, “thought you were good at this?”

“it’s one cup,” he shrugs as if your taunt didn’t bother him at all, “i’m just warming up.” 

“you’ve had like, four games to warm up,” you roll your eyes, voice vicious but teasing. he shakes you off as you move center again, shooting the ball, sinking it once more. the smile that grows on your cheeks iis more cocky than anything, but as jisung shoots, he sinks it, too.

his hand is in yours in seconds, a quick shake as you smile and cheer with the group. you shoot again, sinking the cup at the tip of the triangle. you shake your head in surprise, disbelief washing over your face– you’ve never been good at this game. maybe both jisung and vodka would be your friends tonight. 

jisung shoots, his cup bouncing off the table– your twin is quick to pick it up, dunking it in one of his cups before him and yunho shoot. ace goes first, sinking the same cup you did. you point your gaze at him, “dickrider.”

he laughs, shaggy hair laid around his face shaking with the movement. in a white tee and denim jeans, casual yet stylish– an outfit that never goes out of style, that was your twin’s entire wardrobe, even if you were sure his simple-presenting outfit cost more than yours. he turns to yunho, “come on, make mommy proud.” 

you grimace at the flirting, it wasn’t new but always worse when they’ve been drinking. yunho smiles as he shoots the ball, sinking one on your side, and his eyes immediately shoot to yours. “told you i just had to warm up.”

“whatever,” you roll your eyes, moving the cup and rolling the balls back to them, ignoring the heat that bubbles in your stomach. the two shoot again, ace missing and yunho making one, you fight the smile that yearns to grow. never one to be competitive in your life, you’re beginning to understand why it’s appealing– as the game grows closer, so does your excitement.

“make sure you make this one, teens,” ace taunts from across the table, “jisung needs the help.” 

an assured smile breaks through at his remark and you turn to jisung, handing him a ball, adrenaline coursing through you now. with full confidence you pat his arm, “you got it, ji.”

jisung nods, moving to the center, arm bending before he shoots it– landing one in a cup on the side. you cheer, arms straight up, then high five jisung while yelling, “i knew you could do it!”

jisung is giggling, his cheeks kissed pink as he nods, “your turn.”

you look dead at yunho, aiming for the cup right below him on the left side, a smirk growing at the corner of your lips. you shoot, sinking the one directly in front of him, and he scowls at you as if he knew you just copied what he did to you. you turn to jisung, voice hushed, “ji, we’re kind of good at this.”

jisung makes a fist with his hand and knocks it lightly twice on your head, making a surprised noise leave your chest. he giggles at your reaction as he says, “don’t jinx it, knock on wood.”

you scoff as you turn back to the table, yunho and ace roll the balls back to you. jisung shoots, misses, and you miss your shot right after. jisung whines, “look at what you did.”

“that wasn’t my fault!” you glance at the cups, lips stretching to one side, “we should’ve asked for the cups to be rearranged.” 

jisung looses a breath as ace shoots, sinking a cup at the top, and yunho follows right after– sinking the cup directly next to his. you make an annoyed face as you roll the balls back, face scrunching up, and ace sinks a cup in the back line, yunho missing his shot. 

“can we get zipper?” you ask both boys and ace nods, rearranging your cups to two vertical lines, three on one side and two on the other, in the pockets of the three cups. you nod with a satisfied look on your face, moving to the center. 

“look at you, using terminology and shit,” yeosang jokes from beside you, stood directly next to jeongin, both holding glasses of whatever they were drinking. they looked good together, all sharp lines and muscles, intimidating even– maybe the first time yeosang has ever looked intimidating in his life.

you smile in his direction, “i have played before, you know.”

“never this well,” giselle adds, and you tighten your lips in disappointment at your friend– who’s supposed to be on your side.

“rude,” you mumble as you move to the center, sinking the ball center of the line of three. you smack your lips, happy you made a cup, disappointed in which cup. “shoot for the one closest, ji.”

he nods as he shoots, sinking the one closest. you both yell out a yes! and clasp your hands together before the balls are rolled back to you. yunho stares at you in disbelief, “are you already drunk? there’s no way you’re actually this good.”

you raise your eyebrows at him, a hand coming to your hip, “i didn’t take you for a sore loser, yunho.” 

he smiles all teeth, basically asking you to crawl across the damn table, “i didn’t lose yet.” 

you make one of the cups on the line of two, jisung making the other, leaving you with one cup left. you look up to yunho, eyebrows still raised, “yeah?” 

“anything can happen, tiny,” he says with such nonchalance it almost pisses you off. you shoot and miss, a whine leaving your lips, then jisung shoots, missing as well. yunho smirks, “exactly.”

“stop flirting and shoot the damn ball,” ace huffs as he grabs the balls off the table, handing one to yunho. you blink at him before your eyes dart to giselle and julie, who wore matching faces of nasty smirks. they were not on your side tonight.

“not flirting,” both you and yunho say simultaneously, but neither of you sounded like you meant it.

with only three cups left, adrenaline thrummed under your skin. a need to prove yunho wrong was buzzing inside of you, not that you cared about the game itself, but the way he was so cocky about winning is what sat in your stomach. you wanted to win. 

ace shoots, sinking the cup in front of you, and yunho goes next, sinking the one beside it. that left one cup, and the balls being rolled back to them with frowns on yours and jisung’s faces and audible ooh’s from your friends. 

“you thought,” came from san who stood closest to you, the taunt making you land a light smack to his arm. 

“shut up, we’re gonna win,” you huff, “they’ll both miss.” 

“miss?” ace laughs, bending his arm up in preparation to shoot. “nah, i don’t miss.” he shoots, and sinks it— but before you can process anything, jisung is crouching at the same level of the cup, blowing into it. with success, the ball flies out of the cup, bouncing to the floor. 

a laugh of disbelief leaves your chest, your eyes widening as you grab jisung’s arm, “i forgot you could do that! nice.” 

you look across the table and ace looks irritated, top lip lifted as he shakes his head. your friends are still cheering out curses and sounds of disbelief that mirrored yours, the girls excitedly cheering. you giggle in your twins direction, “that’s what i thought!” 

“my turn,” yunho interrupts and your face goes blank, for just a moment you forgot he was there, too. a pout takes place on your cheeks, lips folding downward, you could kiss your win goodbye. 

your eyes meet and he pauses as he bends his arm, the movement haltering for just a second before he shoots. the ball hits the back rim of the cup, bouncing right into your hand as you catch it. 

“you’re joking,” ace mutters as he turns to yunho, scowling. “are you kidding me? you’ve made that shot three times tonight.” 

“my arm is getting tired,” he shrugs, and fixes your last cup on his side, centering it on the table. 

“bullshit,” ace huffs as he walks away, towards the bar off the side of the kitchen. he calls over his shoulder, “i’m not staying to watch you purposely break our streak, asshole.” 

your smile is permanently etched onto your face as you yell after him, the last part clearly not sinking in, “i didn’t know you had so much faith in me!” 

“i don’t,” you hear from the other room as the balls are rolled back to you. you giggle to yourself and reach for your glass, shooting back the rest of your vodka redbull before you go to shoot again. 

you sink it— you hold your breath, withholding your cheers as jisung shoots, but he sinks it, too— and the entire room erupts in cheers, jisung hugging you from the side, planting a quick kiss to your temple. you’re a smiling, giggling mess, surprised at yourself for winning, for even playing in the first place. 

when the cheers die down, after the adrenaline runs its course and you choose to not play again, you go to make another drink, jisung following you. as you pour the bottle of tito’s into your glass, you can feel something radiating off of him as he just stands there beside you.

you look up to him with slightly raised brows as you open another can of redbull, telling him to say it without actually verbalizing it. he gives you a shy smile, voice small as he says, “i think i like us as friends.” 

you stir your redbull in with your finger, matching his smile in return, “i think i like us as friends, too.” 

“so,” he bounces on his heel, shyness still radiating off of him, “since we’re friends, when did the thing with yunho start?” 

the look you gave him for his ridiculous statement was enough to make his ears burn red. you scoff, “what thing with yunho?” 

“you know,” his eyes look to the kitchen then back to you, “he just clearly let us win, and what ace said about the flirting and stuff?” 

“we weren’t flirting,” you argue, the look still on your face— eyebrows furrowed and lips bent in discontent, “and we won fair and square.”

“oh,” he drags it out, chin tipping back, his hands laid across the bar, “i understand now.” 

“i’m ordering the drunk bus!” 

both of your heads snap in the direction of giselle’s announcement from the kitchen— the drunk bus was a literal bus that seated around ten, it’d drop you and pick you up from wherever you needed, a luxury that only applied to the towns surrounding your campus. it was one fee split amongst the group, you’d never taken it before, but you’ve heard the stories from giselle and julie– whatever happens in the drunk bus, stays in the drunk bus. 

you turn back to jisung who’s smiling, “what do you ‘understand’?” you use two bent fingers on each hand to quote the word, irritation clear in your tone. 

jisung shakes his head, “forget i said anything, i’m gonna get another drink.” he made for the kitchen before you could get a word out, and you stand in your frustration for a moment. 

was this turning into something everyone could see, except for you? you did not think you were flirting with yunho across the table, nor did you think he was flirting with you. he does look good, and the way he wore his confidence like it was a part of him was way too enticing, so unlike him it was as if he was a different person entirely– shit, maybe your paranoia wasn’t paranoia? sticking up for you to his mom, racing to get you a drink the moment you said you were thirsty, it all seemed to add up. 

… would that be so bad? 

a gasp leaves your lips, an immediate shake of your head as you turn to face the bar again, your back turned to the entrance of the room. that was a terrifying thought, but if you really contemplated it— hyunjin was an asshole, mingyu was too old, jisung and chan ended up being better as friends, seonghwa was complicated. what you needed was easy, natural, logical— wouldn’t yunho be all three? you only had two more weeks after tonight. 

“fuck,” you muttered to yourself. if it was clear enough for jisung to notice, it must be clear as day— your hand came up to your hair, scratching at your scalp, were you already in a situation you didn’t agree to?

“drunk bus is a minute away,” chan pops his head through the door, a head of blonde hair a stark contrast to the dark wood door frame. you yelp, whipping around to face him, and he makes a face of confusion and surprise before he’s giggling, walking into the room. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. you good?” 

you shake your head, forcing a smile on your lips, “all good.” 

he raises a brow, “liar.” 

your smile turns genuine as you look down at your shoes, “i’ll be fine, i should chug this before we go.” 

“then come out here with the rest of us,” chan urges, grabbing your free arm and pulling you out to the kitchen again. you sip your drink as you walk, hoping none of it spills down your face as chan pulls you along. 

you down about half your drink when the drunk bus arrives, chugging the rest as everyone rushes out of the front door. you grab your purse and jacket, folding it over your arm, following ace as the last two escaping from your house. 

your body is warm as you watch everyone pile into the bus, which you supposed was more like a van with several rows of seats. the girls sat up front with chan, jihoon, jisung and yeosang on jeongin’s lap on the row behind them, leaving the back row for you, yunho, your twin and san. 

the rows seated three each, you blinked at the three girls up front, giselle in the middle of reia and julie. the smart decision would’ve been to put you up front with your friends, and have reia in the back on ace’s lap— too drunk to give a fuck, you’re the last to pile into the bus, making your way to the back. 

you face the three men, yunho on the edge of the row, ace in the center and san on his right. you pop a brow, standing hunched over in the van, “am i just going to lay across the three of you?” 

san nudges his chin forward, “you can sit up front with the driver.” 

your jaw drops, voice lowering to a hushed whisper, “i am not doing that, that’s excluding me from the fun of the drunk bus.” 

“sit on yunho’s lap,” ace says casually, pulling his phone from his pocket, “that way we can finally leave.” 

you wanted to snap at him for the attitude— instead you looked at yunho who sat back ever so slightly, spreading his thick thighs so you could perch yourself on one, looking up at you with awaiting eyes. your lips pulled to one side in contemplation, thinking back to your dilemma earlier– only one way to find out what all of this meant.

so you obeyed your twin, sitting down on one of yunho’s thighs with your legs bent over the other, facing ace and san. ace barely looks up from his phone and san is wearing a silly smile on his cheeks, then reaches forward to tap yeosang on the shoulder. 

yeosang looks back at san over jeongin’s head of black hair before his eyes slide over to you and yunho, a laugh leaves his throat, “no fucking way– you’re both that drunk already? we aren’t even there yet!”

your body was hot before you left the house, now you were approaching feverish as the entire middle row turned around. you locked eyes with jisung who raised both brows, i told you so written all over his face. 

“no,” you argue back, lip lifting in annoyance at yeosang, “shut up and kiss your boyfriend.” 

yeosang giggles again as the bus finally starts moving, ENA was a quick fifteen minute drive from your house, at least you didn’t have to be on yunho’s lap for long. it surprisingly wasn’t unpleasant or uncomfortable having a pair of strong thighs beneath you– his thighs beneath you, his cologne in your nose, heat radiating off his body onto yours. 

mentally, it was more uncomfortable than it was physically, you were sure if there wasn’t so much talk you wouldn’t have thought anything of it. 

the driver turns music on and the drunks in the first two rows immediately start singing along, voices loud and clearly intoxicated. you turn to yunho, your voice hushed, “this is so annoying.” 

“what’s annoying?” he asks, close enough for his breath to kiss your skin. only then did you realize just how close you actually were— it wasn’t just strong thighs beneath you, it was your arm against his chest, it was your face inches apart, it was his hand resting on your knee. you blame the vodka when your thighs squeeze together.

you could feel the heat in your ears as you squirm, your hands finding your lap, you didn’t even know where they were before that– “they keep saying stuff about us.” 

“i know,” yunho’s eyes leave yours, looking ahead to the front of the bus, maybe to the road outside. “definitely annoying.” 

your eyes thinned as you scanned his face for any emotion, stomach feeling sour at him calling it annoying— him saying it didn’t sit right. you scrunch your face, “i guess they have a point, though.” 

he looks back to you, eyebrows furrowed yet eyes wide, surprise and confusion washed over him. a cocky smile grows on your cheeks, “you did let us win pong.” 

he smiles all teeth, wide, understanding and sweet as his head falls back to the headrest, “you won fair and square.” 

“i thought that too,” you argue as your head tilts forward, following his movement, subconsciously wanting to stay so close. sucked into something unexplainable, you couldn’t believe the words that left your mouth, “was i imagining things or were you flirting with me across the table?” 

his smile shifts to something of a smirk, so unlike yunho it had electricity zipping through every nerve. was this the side of yunho that other girls get to see? get to know? his stories begin to make sense. “and what if i was?” 

you catch ace’s eye out of your peripherals, snapping you back into reality before you realize you’d left it. you suck in a breath as you shift backward again, sitting upright, as if a bucket of ice water was pourerd over you– right, this was yunho, one of your best friends since birth, you were shocked ace was keeping his mouth shut if he heard any of that. what would the three of them think?

you looked to your lap, “don’t fuck around, you know i’m in a fragile state right now… two weeks and all.”

“that’s the point,” you look back up and his head is still tilted back, his throat on display, he looked so much of a man you had to rip your eyes away before your body gave you away. you weren’t sure if you were imagining things, if your drunk brain was creating a conversation you weren’t really having, maybe the caffeine from the redbull rendered you schizophrenic. 

yunho couldn’t believe he just said that– a few shots and a few beers must’ve inflated his ego and encouraged his confidence more than ace ever could have. he was proud of himself, adrenaline and liquor swimming in synchronicity, a cocky smirk still sitting on his lips. 

out of all of these dates, out of the stories he’s heard, he thinks he has a handle on what works for you. just a moment ago, how your head followed him back, that confirmed it for him– he knew you through and through, you had no idea you helped him know this side of you through all your complaints and stories. 

you raise an eyebrow in question, and yunho doesn’t want to explain himself, but he does anyway. “like i said six weeks ago, your grandma fucking loves me, tiny.” 

he watches, feels it as realization settles in. how your eyes widen, your glossed lips part, your body stiffens on his lap– maybe he overshot his confidence a bit. this was still you, the girl he’s wanted for years, the same girl that has also never looked at him as anything other than a friend– the last thing he wants to do is scare you off. after staring at him in surprise for a moment, you begin blinking rapidly, mumbling a hushed, “what?” 

yunho panics internally, but he doesn’t show it. he’s happy you weren’t close enough to hear his heart beating against his chest– but like he told ace, it was time to do something about it. his voice is calm, confident as he says, “you know exactly what i mean.” 

“tiny! you get next song,” julie yells from the front, using a nickname she rarely uses for you, holding her phone that was connected to the aux cord. you yell back the title of a rap song almost immediately, one that yunho knows you know by heart, and he finds himself smiling. 

maybe he’s grateful that julie interrupted– he had started a conversation he didn’t want to have right now, not when you’re both drunk, when yunho’s filter was long gone. you’d remember this tomorrow, you’d know what he said, it’s not something that could go undiscussed– he wanted to tell you properly. but for now, feeling you squirm on his lap, rapping your heart out with slurred words at the top of your lungs, yunho welcomed that with open arms. 

when you finally arrived to ENA, there were several cars and buses parked in a line, groups of people crowded on the massive lawn that had lost its color in the november weather. you were at the front of the group with the other girls, ahead of yunho and the rest of the guys who took their time walking up. 

yeosang breaks away from jeongin to walk up to yunho who was in stride with ace, a curious look on his face, “finally doing something about your little crush, huh?” 

yunho rolls his eyes, it’s so much more than that, “it’s not a little crush, but yeah, basically.”

yeosang giggles and grabs san by the arm, the tight black shirt he wore clinging to him, “it’s finally happening!”

san looks confused, “what is? giselle wants me? did she tell you that?” 

ace groans, “yunho and tiny, dumbass. keep your voice down.” 

jisung cuts in, but yunho still feels weird about him, so he pays him no mind– “i knew there was something there.”

“keep it to yourself,” yunho huffs out, barely shooting a look to jisung. 

they finally reached the door, the girls probably deep inside now– they were greeted with a dark house, neon lights searing across the walls, the ceiling, the smell of weed and alcohol strong in the massive space. with a clean, white exterior, the interior reflected nothing of it. ENA was just as dirty and grimy as it was the last time they were here, except now there was only one of them trying to get his dick wet, so now it was noticeable. 

“it’s going to take me ages to find reia,” ace yells over the music already pounding through their bodies. he grabs yunho by the shoulder, “you think they’re getting drinks?” 

yunho gives him a nod and guides the way, a pillar in a sea full of college guys much, much smaller than him. they reach the kitchen without touching too many sweaty bodies, yunho’s head nodding along to the catchy music, eyes on alert for you, julie, giselle or reia. 

he spots the four of you crowded around the kitchen island, well, he hears giselle before he sees you, yelling hello to people he didn’t know. a man was pouring a round of shots and he spotted you, staring at him with excitement in your eyes– yunho almost sighs, he hopes this isn’t a repeat of the music festival, jealousy growing deep in his gut. he hadn’t heard you speak about mingyu since then, so he might be safe, but you’ve surprised yunho so many times in the past six weeks, he can’t be sure about anything anymore. 

reia’s the only one to catch their arrival, shooting ace a bright smile, leaving your side to make her way through the bodies in the kitchen. she pulls him by the arm back to the island, yelling, “take a shot with us!” 

yunho follows silently, watching, until a shot is placed directly in front of him. they’re passed down to yeosang and san, jeongin who stands behind yeosang, a hand on his waist. jihoon, chan and jisung were nowhere to be found, but yunho was sure they’d show up later. yunho leans into ace, “who even are these guys?”

ace shrugs his shoulders, “free shots, who gives a fuck?”

yunho lets out a laugh, looking down to his shot glass before clinking it with the group, then shooting it back. he meets your eyes as his glass meets the table– they’re glossed over, drunk, a soft, silly smile blankets your features. his heart cracks in his chest, fuck, he adores you– with your cute little outfit, standing around the island bouncing to the music, with no idea that you’re the most beautiful one in the room. 

he can’t wait for you to be his.

you shoot another shot back before yunho can even blink, the mysterious guy with dark hair and a freckle on the side of his nose smiling in your direction. yunho’s eyes dart between you and the guy, trying to pick up on any lingering tension, any want in your eyes. his jaw tightens.

“i saw you at that bar by campus!” you yell at him over the table, words slurred and loud, body leaning across the wooden slab. “you’re the one that sleeps with that bartender!”

“belle?” he looks at you as if you’re crazy, but you’re a giggling mess as you nod in response. 

julie leans in close to you, her smile wide, tone teasing, “we know all about belle, hoon.”

the guy furrows his brows, leaning in closer over the island, “how?”

“you know your friend jake?” you ask, trying so hard to keep your laughter inside. he nods, and you’re bursting trying to keep it in, “so does belle.” 

yunho is confused, on the outside of whatever joke you and julie are playing on this guy. giselle appears out of nowhere, grabbing both of you by the wrists, “they’re just kidding, hoonie, don’t mind them. see you later!” she pulls you out of the kitchen, towards the living room, yelling something about dancing and to stop making trouble. 

yunho shakes the confusion off of him as he sorts through the bottles on the island, lips scrunched as he tries to find whiskey. the hoon guy is on his right in an instant, asking him, “you looking for the good shit? i got you, bro.”

yunho follows him to a set of bottles hidden behind cutting boards on the counter– a few bottles of aged whiskey behind them. yunho raises a brow, “how’d you know?”

“you seem like a whiskey guy,” he makes a face of understanding, as if he knows yunho, “there’s beer in the fridge, too. you know those girls?” 

yunho nods as he grabs a solo cup from the stack of them beside the bottles– the tackiest cup for a glass of classy whiskey. “i came with them.” 

“giselle and julie, i know them,” his brows furrowed as he leaned against the counter, “the other one looks familiar, i think she’s been here before.”

yunho’s lips form a line, confirming, “she’s been here before.”

the guy looks like a light bulb went off in his head, “oh shit! you’re right, man, thanks, i should tell heeseung she’s here. what’s her name again?”

“thanks for the drink,” yunho waves him off, walking away before the guy could get another word in. yunho didn’t even think about heeseung being here, it was the last thing on his mind, he’s been so wrapped up in you all night– anxiety creeps up his spine. he finds ace and reia against a wall, kissing, and he feels weird about interrupting, but he has no other choice. “can we go dance?” 

those were the last words ace expected from yunho’s mouth, he broke away from his girlfriend just to let out a laugh directly in his face, “can we go what?”

“dance,” yunho repeats, the word laced with annoyance. “don’t ask questions, be a good friend and do it. please?”

“i’m down to dance,” reia shoots yunho a comforting smile and ace groans. yunho’s always liked reia. 

yunho leads them into the crowd, looking for a head of pink hair to act as a beacon, yunho’s eyes are on alert. he’s seen heeseung once or twice, but he wasn’t sure if he’d recognize him in a crowd like this, if he even looks the same. he hates this feeling– he’s wants you to be done with other guys, he wants to be the only guy you want, the only one who’s attention you crave. 

he can feel the liquor in his fingertips as the crowd gets more dense, the room quickly dampening, heat and sweat kissing the nape of his neck. he finally spots giselle, a beacon just as he thought, stood next to you who was putting your phone in some blonde guy’s phone. he curses under his breath, as if he jinxed himself– this had to be a stroke of bad luck. 

the guy wears a goofy smile that stretched ear to ear, standing like a fucking loser if you were to ask yunho. in jeans and a fitted tee, hair so bleached it looked like straw, yunho was irritated you’d even consider him. his feelings soften as he hears your laugh over the music, as he watches your head tip back, getting a glimpse of your smile. now he had to worry about every guy, not just heeseung? yunho wished he could keep you glued to his side all night, put you in his pocket or something. 

ace puts his hand on yunho’s shoulder, yunho didn’t even realize how fast he was heading towards you two, prepared to do something that’d end up in embarrassment. he hears ace over the music, “leave it, she’s hammered, she won’t remember him tomorrow.”

yunho exhales as he nods, he’s grateful for ace’s words as they cool him down immediately, the only person who can read his mind, understand him like no one else. yunho thinks he might lose his fucking mind by the end of the night if ace leaves his side even once. the two of you put a curse on him the day you were born, he thinks. 

giselle makes eye contact with yunho before you realize he’s there, and the side of her mouth lifts in a smirk. she taps you on the shoulder, and you don’t move, too engrossed in the blonde who you were still talking to. she grabs you by the shoulders to whip you around, forcing your drunk eyes on yunho. 

immediately your features warp into a wide smile as you see yunho, ace and reia. you turn your head to look at the blonde guy for a second before they land on yunho again, you loudly ask, “did you see him? he’s so cute!”

yunho shakes his head, “you’re drunk.”

“yeah, not blind,” you yell back in between giggles, “dance with me?”

yunho’s reluctant to agree, especially as he hears ace crack a chuckle behind him– he’s not much of a dancer, but he did pull ace and reia out here for this. you grab the hand that isn’t holding the solo cup of whiskey without waiting for his answer, and yunho takes a sip as you lift it above your head, doing a little twirl. he watches as your hair twirls with you, his eyes lowering to your hips, how your jacket hangs over your elbows, your shoulders on display… he couldn’t say no to you if he tried. 

so he leans in, he dances with you, letting you lead as you sway from side to side, facing him. you have a smile glued on your cheeks, a sheen of sweat laid over your skin, the side of him he keeps tucked away wants to lick it off of you– to feel the taste of you on his tongue, to hear the sounds you’d let out if he did. the thought makes his cock twitch in his pants and he tries to shake it off, tries to force his brain to go elsewhere, but then you’re closer, shoved into him from someone trying to get through the crowd. 

the smell of your hair hits his nose, your front pressed against him, your hands on his chest, he mutters a hushed fuck. it feels even more incriminating than the car ride there, with your thighs laying centimeters from his coc,  with your whole body pressed against his.  the cutest oops, sorry leaves your lips, he’d give anything to put you over his shoulder and carry you upstairs, have his way with you. 

that’s the whiskey talking, he tells himself, as he takes another swig from his cup. 

he knows it’s not. he’s never wanted something, someone, so bad in his life. 

you look up to him, eyes bright and shiny yet hooded and glazed over, he swears you look like you could eat him alive, too. if he just leaned down, he’d finally taste you, know what those glossy lips feel like against his. he finds his head tipping forward before he can fucking think—

“we found you!” he years yeosang before he sees him, his eye twitching on command, ripping his chance from under his feet– did he really want to kiss you for the first time while you’re hammered in a hazy frat house, anyway? yunho thinks he’d take anything at this point. 

“yeo!” you shriek, ripping your hands from yunho’s chest. you take a quick look around, “shit, where are giselle and julie?”

“they just went to get a drink,” yeosang responds, thumb pointing towards the kitchen as if he wasn’t basically pulling you off of yunho, “i passed them on my way here.”

you whine, “this is supposed to be a girl’s night.” you’re off in the direction of the kitchen, and yunho forces himself to stay put. 

“that looked interesting,” yeosang notes, his voice loud over the music, a smirk on his lips as he lifts his can up to his lips, jeongin right on his heel. yunho pulls his shirt from his chest, making sure it isn’t sticking against his sweaty skin, covering his hips until his cock softens completely. 

“cockblock,” yunho huffs, hopefully too quiet for yeosang to hear. 

“no way you just said cockblock with ace directly behind you,” yeosang’s jaw drops, unfortunately hearing him, and jeongin snorts from behind him. 

“your friend group is so… interesting,” jeongin comments, and his head turns to face yunho’s best friend, “ace, you’re seriously cool with yunho trying to bag your sister?” 

ace looks at jeongin like he couldn’t be more uninterested, likely annoyed he had to rip his attention from reia, “yes? what does that have to do with me?” 

jeongin shakes his head, bringing his attention back to yeosang as his hand travels up his waist, “you wanna dance, baby?”

“please,” yeosang responds happily, his head tipping back as jeongin whips him around to face him, and yunho rips his eyes to look anywhere but there. 

“back to the kitchen i go, i guess,” yunho says, facing ace and reia again, the two making yunho even more uncomfortable than jeongin and yeosang had. reia’s finger was tucked into ace’s waistband, her lips pressed to his neck as  ace’s focus turned to yunho. a chill ran through him. 

“you don’t have to follow her around,” ace responds, his hand traveling up reia’s back until his hand is in her hair. yunho forces himself to not make a face. “go find san or something, you’re not babysitting.” 

yunho nods, he knew that already– but what if you find that blonde guy again? or worse, heeseung? 

yunho would be sick to find out that he was right. 

bouncing into the kitchen with a smile etched onto your face, you were expecting to find giselle and julie easily– what you weren’t expecting was to see sunghoon again, this time accompanied by another head of black hair you knew all too well. standing with his back pressed to the kitchen counter, a solo cup in his hand, a lazy smirk playing on his lips, he hadn’t even seen you yet. he was too busy talking to a short blonde girl that stood leaned into him, her front nearly pressed to his, you couldn’t see her face from where they stood but you knew she was drop dead gorgeous. heeseung wouldn’t entertain her if she wasn’t. 

music pumped through the space, charging the air, aiding the adrenaline that pumped through your veins just from seeing his face. you took a deep breath as you ripped your attention away from them, you couldn’t explain the feeling it gave you. heeseung wasn’t shit, he proved time and time again that he wasn’t shit, yet seeing a man who’s been inside you on numerous occasions talking it up with a random girl you didn’t know would never feel good. it’s why you ghosted him in the first place. 

you rounded the island when you didn’t see your two friends, the haze of whoever was smoking a joint in the corner clouding the room, forcing the lights to dim ever so slightly. while you read the labels of several bottles, trying to find the tito’s to pour yourself another shot, sunghoon spotted you before heeseung did. 

sunghoon nudged heeseung’s side, dropping his chin to his ear, “see? i told you she was here.”

heeseung let out a hollow chuckle as his eyes fell on you, “no fucking way she actually showed.”

you felt their eyes, even in your drunk mind you could feel the attention. you looked up, meeting the deep abyss that was heeseung’s eyes, quickly darting your attention between the two men who had their sights set on you. slithering up your spine was something between discomfort and excitement as heeseung pushed past the blonde, as if she didn’t matter, his body clad in all black made its way to you in two strides with confidence oozing off of him. 

watching him walk away from another girl for you? that felt good. 

the smirk that seemed to permanently live on his face was just as attractive as it's always been, placed on a jaw that could cut glass, two gold hoops hanging from his ears, in clothes that fit him just right. he stopped just before you, leaving a space that you’d close by the end of the night, voice dripping with sex as he says, “you really came to see me, huh?”

“i did not come to see you,” you laugh at him, at least trying to put up a fight, words slurring as you say, “‘m here with gi and jules.”

“come on, baby,” he urges, head tilting to the side, displaying a neck you’ve kissed too many times– he knew exactly what he was doing, memories flooding your mind, just as he intended. “you knew where you’d end up if you came here in that sexy little outfit.”

you roll your eyes, yet you knew he was right. you almost forgot he was here in the heat of the night, too drunk, too high off the adrenaline rush of that hoshi guy asking for your number, too confused about yunho. yunho. 

what were your intentions behind texting heeseung in the first place?

that was before tonight. before pong, before the car ride, before dancing with him minutes ago, ending up with your body pressed against his– 

“don’t you miss me?” heeseung asks, moving closer to you until his breath is hot against your ear, plump bottom lip grazing against your earlobe just right, “miss splitting you open on my cock, don’t you miss it too?” 

–but he didn’t whisper any of those words in your ear.

fuck, fuck fuck fuck. your legs cross, thighs pressing together, a squeak of a whimper passing through your lips. you whisper a hushed yes, eyelids fluttering at the nasty words, he’s always been good at dirty talk, always been good at making you fold in seconds.

“then what are we waiting for?” he asks, wasting no time, of course not. this was heeseung, who always gave you maybe thirty minutes just to get liquor flowing through both your veins before he had you bent over his mattress, every single time. 

“tiny!” your neck snaps to the voice, blinking rapidly, uncrossing your legs as if you were caught red handed. you face san who approaches with eyebrows crossed, his jaw locked as if he was pissed– as if you were doing something wrong. his tone is sharp, “what the hell are you doing?” 

“we’re talking, man,” heeseung says from behind you, not giving you a second to speak. heeseung looks down at you with a blank expression, “who is this? your boyfriend?” 

“fuck no,” you respond in an instant, but san cuts you off. 

“i wasn’t asking you, man,” san’s tone is not friendly, his shoulders back, chest puffed out. “where are giselle and julie? ace? yunho?”

“what are you, her keeper?” heeseung spits from behind you, and you wince, knowing this could get ugly quick. you open your mouth to defend san, to tell heeseung to keep his mouth shut– 

“who the fuck are you?” san gets a little louder, catching the attention of people around you. he looks at you, gaze heavy, “this is heeseung, right?” 

you give him a short nod and he laughs, but it's sarcastic, it's angry. he gives you a slight shake of his head, “you can’t be serious.”

“what do you mean?” you ask, your own eyebrows furrowing, clueless as to why he’s on you right now. you’ve told him about your history with heeseung, but you would never expect him to react like this. “like he said, we’re just talking.” 

san purses his lips, giving you a slow nod that was anything but understanding. heeseung cuts in from behind you, “is there a problem?”

as soon as you say no, san says yes. you look at him with wide, shocked eyes, silently telling him to shut the fuck up before he ruins this for you. 

you turn to heeseung, “there’s no problem, he’s just being fucking insane.” your eyes were back on san as you barked the last two words, giving him a nasty look, hoping he’d finally understand and leave. 

“are you seriously gonna do this?” san asks, you feel like you’re missing something under his gaze, by the look he’s giving you, you felt his disappointment all over you. “after everything you’ve told us about him, after tonight, you’re actually gonna fuck him?” 

“everything you’ve told them?” heeseung reiterates from behind you, now you’re sweating. panic and frustration rushes through you, blinking at heeseung who has his eyebrows raised, an uninterested look on his face as if he was preparing to walk away. 

and he would, knowing heeseung. if it was too complicated, if it wasn’t easy— he would turn around and leave you be, probably go find that blonde girl and split her open. his words linger in your head, the feeling they gave you, the heat that spread throughout your core that you couldn’t ignore, you could not let that be ripped away from you. 

you have it at your fingertips– a hookup, a fuck, someone to distract you from every feeling that’s been rushing through your body, every thought that’s tangled up in your head. you needed the release, you needed the fuck, you needed to be exorcised of your thoughts, your feelings, your confusion. 

you turn your back on san, “i have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.” 

you hear the dry laugh that leaves san from behind you, and the guilt sits in the pit of your stomach, but your frustration toward him and the need to get laid outweighs it. you’d apologize to him tomorrow. 

that same cocky smile grows on heeseung’s lips again, “been a minute since you’ve seen my room, i redecorated. wanna see?” 

you keep your back turned– you don’t want to see if san walks away, if he stays, the look on his face no matter what he does. you plaster a smile on your face, forcing the feelings away, batting your lashes as you look up to heeseung, “absolutely.” 

you keep your chin tucked as you follow heeseung up the main staircase, letting your hair fall over your face, trying to hide your identity as if your outfit wouldn’t give it away to anyone who knew you. if san was this unhappy about your choice, you couldn’t imagine what the others would say– you wouldn’t put it past them to follow you up here. 

and yet you follow him anyway. 

you shake off any feeling that wasn’t need by the time you reached the platform, following heeseung into his bedroom, which was exactly the same as before. framed posters of old movies and bands hung on his walls, his carpeted bedroom littered by clothes and bath towels, the bed in the center if his room unmade, duvet balled into a lump at the foot. 

“redecorated my ass,” you joke as heeseung sits on his bed, leaning back on his elbows, readjusting his bottom half that sat on the edge. you lock the door behind you after you step inside, getting a good look at the room that was so messy you had to focus on him and only him. 

“had to get you up here somehow,” the same smirk sat on his lips once more, the corner of his mouth bent upward, black hair hung over his temples. the black tee that clung to his abdomen was lifted ever so slightly, his waist peeking out from above his hips, golden skin peeking through. 

you walked forward after a sound of amusement leaves your lips, mouth watering at the sight, “you could’ve just said let’s go to my room.” 

“why not make it fun?” his smirk was full blown now as he sits up, hands coming to wrap around the backs of your thighs as you step between his thighs. your hands find his hair, soft locks tangled between your fingers, maybe you missed him a little. “so sexy in this cute lil’ outfit, you wear this for me?” 

“always so confident,” you huff out, knee bending to rest against his thigh, “the world doesn’t revolve around you, hee.” 

“i’m hurt,” he fakes a pout as his hand slides to the thigh bent over his leg, traveling upward until his fingers tuck under the hem of your skirt, “almost worse than when you blocked me.” 

“you’ll be alright,” you respond, your tone flat. you tug his hair backward lightly, forcing him to look up at you, “are you gonna keep wasting time playing with my skirt, or are you gonna take it off of me?” 

he looks up at you in surprise for a moment, not used to demands on your lips, but he obeys nonetheless. you let your jacket hit the floor as he tugs your skirt down your hips, “fuck, missed you.”

you don’t respond as you unzip your boots, stepping out of them and out of your skirt, crawling onto his lap. you note that they don’t feel as strong as yunho’s beneath you, not as thick, not as hard. you try to shake the thought as your hands reach for his hair again, pressing your lips to his, messy and rushed, being met with plump lips that taste like whiskey and a desperation almost as great as your own. 

you’re fast to grind against him as his tongue pushes past your lips, a groan leaving both of you at the same time, his hands reach around you to smack your ass. you hiss as he bucks his hips into you, breaking the kiss to say, “missed this cute ass.” 

you whine into him as he soothes where he hit you, fingers softly running over your skin, gripping the fat of your ass after. your hands leave his hair to travel over his chest, down his abdomen, before you lift his shirt over his head. 

“someone’s eager,” he says as you get the shirt over his head, “missed my cock that much?” 

“god, shut up,” you say before you attach your lips again, feeling over his bare skin, the ripples of his toned abdomen under his skin. eager, yes, but for him specifically? the whole ordeal was debatable. 

he reaches a hand into your hair, tugging at your roots to pull your head back, staring at you through lowered brows, “since when did you have such a foul fuckin’ mouth?” 

you whimper, eyes glazed over, hips rutting into him. a cocky smile grows, “since i started fucking people other than you.” 

he lets go of your hair just to scoop under your ass and flip you over, your back hitting the mattress, legs immediately spreading for him to slide himself between. denim hits your panties and you mewl, hands searching for his hair, but he grabs your wrists, pinning them over your head. “if you want me, you’ll learn real quick how to speak to me.”

the same smile creeps on your face again, “and if i don’t?” 

“you don’t get to cum,” his eyes are deep, just as glossed over as your own, a need in them you haven’t seen in months. heeseung wants you, yet it doesn’t feel as good as it would’ve back then. 

your chin tips back as a laugh leaves your lips, head digging into the mattress, “so, same treatment as usual?” 

his face drops– his mouth is on yours in an instant with impatience, a newfound hunger, something to prove. his hips dig into you so rough it almost hurts, you whimper into his mouth but he ignores you, hands trailing down your waist to your hips, fingers wrapping around them tight. 

“more,” you mumble against his lips, legs wrapping around his hips tighter, “give me more.” 

he smiles against you, ignoring you as his lips trail down to your jaw, sucking at the skin just below it. you gasp, back arching into him as his fingers grip your hips harder, you wouldn’t be surprised if they left a bruise. his fingers slip under your top, flipping it over your bra, his palms cupping your chest.

it still wasn’t enough. your core throbs, you needed stimulation— you put on your best sexy voice, “hee, need your mouth. please.”

“now you’re begging?” he doesn’t even look at you, “funny.”

you smack your lips, irritated. you wrap your legs tighter around heeseung’s hips, using as much force as you can to flip him over onto his back. much to your surprise it works, he seems equally as surprised as he lands on his back, eyes wide and lips parted.

“what the hell–”

“shut up and lay back,” you order as you adjust yourself on his lap, pulling your top over your head, unclasping your bra with ease, letting it fall to his floor amongst the other articles of clothing of his. his eyebrows furrow as he lays back until they straighten out a moment later, tucking his arms under his head with a smirk, thinking you’re about to get on your knees. 

you wear a wicked smile as you crawl forward instead, panties against his bare abdomen, and his arms come down from behind his head, bent upward to touch your thighs, confusion written across his face. in your best demanding voice, you say, “i said i wanted your mouth.”

his eyebrows raise, too stunned to respond as you crawl forward, thighs landing on either side of his head. you’d only done this once with mingyu, but you think you can pull it off again, you needed to cum and you were not leaving it in heeseung’s hands. 

he groans and you can hear him unzip his pants as you pull your panties to the side, his tongue lolling out just before you spread your legs and sit. it’s simultaneous, the way you moan together, as you get a semblance of relief and as heeseung tastes you. a melody of noises as your hips immediately start rocking against him, feeling his tongue slide between your folds, licking up every drop of wetness that you began building on the ride here. 

you glance over your shoulder, a laugh leaving your lips as you see heeseung pumping his cock, only halfway out of his jeans. you look down at him, eyes screwed shut in pleasure, tongue working at your folds. your voice is nasty, degrading as you speak before you can think about it, “jerking yourself off while you eat me out? pathetic.”

his eyes open in slits, his eyebrows furrowing, groaning into your core. oh, he likes it. the vibration makes a gasp leave your lips in pleasure, rutting your hips harder against him, feeling his tongue flick over your clit. your lips part again, “told me to watch my mouth, here you are getting off to it. what would everyone think if they knew you turned into a slut when someone’s a little mean to you?” 

he groans again, and your head falls back, a moan ripping from your throat. he sucks on your clit and your whole body falls back, putting your weight on your hand to hold yourself up, bucking your hips into heeseung’s mouth. he flicks over your clit again, one hand coming up to grab onto your waist as the other steadily pumps his cock. you can feel it build, for the first time with heeseung, and you’ll be damned if he doesn’t get you there. 

“yes, hee, so good, doing so good for me,” you’re moaning between the praises leaving your lips, “make me cum, wanna cum on your face.” 

he works quicker, his tongue on your core, his fist around his cock. your mouth is watering, you wanted to taste him, but tonight was about you, you wouldn’t let him have the pleasure. as your orgasm builds steadily your moans grow louder, grateful for the music downstairs to drown you out, your eyes keep falling back to heeseung’s cock. hard as a rock, red, angry, heeseung fucked himself as if his life depended on it. 

“don’t you dare fucking cum,” you spit, trying to sound demanding yet his mouth rendered you breathless, weak. you try again, not sounding any more intimidating this time, “hands off.”

he obeys anyhow, his hand letting go of his cock, fingers standing straight up before they make a fist out of frustration in your denial, cock twitching as it laid against his abdomen. you smile as he finally gets you there, eyebrows furrowing and jaw going slack as he puts you right on the cusp, “fuck yes hee, gonna cum, don’t stop.” 

his hands come up to your hips, fingers gripping at the skin as you finally crash over the edge, pulling you into his face harder yet holding you still as your hips buck against his face. your moans are loud, full of pleasure and relief as he drags your orgasm out, his tongue unrelenting from the same rhythm he began with. when you grow sensitive and overstimulation approaches you sit up, hands gripping onto his own to let go of you. 

the moment you’re off his face he’s gasping for air, a weak grip on your thighs for refuge, eyes closed and head softly pressed against his mattress. he smiles, eyes still closed, “that was so fucking hot.”

you crawl off of his chest, laying down on the mattress beside him, slipping your panties off in the process, tone lazy as you say, “take your time coming back to earth.”

he turns his head, finally opening his eyes to look at you, “who the fuck are you?” 

you shrug, clear headed and eased now that you’ve come, “i already told you my piece. are we fucking or what?” 

he’s up in an instant, tugging his pants and boxers down his legs, kicking them off. “can’t believe you still have a nasty ass mouth after coming on my face.” 

“i’d say you can fuck it, but i’d much rather have you inside me,” you bite back, “preferably right now.”

he shakes his head in disbelief, talking under his breath, “like i’m a fucking dog.”

“you can bark for me another time,” you say as he slots himself between your legs, hands gripping onto your thighs.

he lines himself up at your entrance after smearing his cock between your folds, eliciting a gasp from your lips, “won’t be talking all that shit when i’m inside you.” 

“hopefully,” you begin to say, but he rips a moan from your gut as he pushes inside, stealing your words from your throat. he pushes in fully, giving you no time to adjust as he pulls out, fucking into you harshly again. 

he snickers as your noises raise in pitch, mewls and moans leaving your lips one after another. he wears a shit eating grin as he teases, “what was that? what were you trying to say?” 

you try to point your gaze at him, but quickly lose your resolve to argue as the pleasure takes over, you can feel every fucking vein as he fucks up into you, hitting that spot immediately. he’s changed too, his stroke is different, a purpose to his thrusts, something you weren’t used to, something he never gave you before. your arms are reaching for him, fingers clawing at his biceps to come closer, to touch him, to kiss him. 

“pussy so fuckin’ tight, missed it, fuck,” his voice is rough as he leans down to attach your lips, but the kiss is more teeth and spit than anything. you were whining into his mouth as his hips snapped into you, your own fucking him back, hands tangling in his hair, gripping at his roots. you felt insatiable, you needed more, you needed to feel him everywhere. 

he groans into your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips as he groans out, “pull harder.”

you do, fingers tightening at his roots with a strength you couldn’t control and he groans louder, his head dropping into your shoulder. his thrusts are merciless, the only noise in the room is skin against skin, his hips snapping into yours. your jaw hangs open, silent screams leaving you as he fucks you stupid, so unlike any version of heeseung you’ve had prior to this. you don’t know if you woke him up or if he really is different, but you’re not complaining. 

“want you deeper,” you manage, voice weak and hoarse, barely above a whisper. 

he chuckles as he pushes himself up, your eyes following his biceps as he slips out, “is it ever enough with you?” 

a smile breaks across your face before he turns you over, manhandling you onto your knees, back arched into a geometry equation. he slips back in with ease and a yelp leaves your throat, voice broken as you say, “you’re so– so deep, heeseung, oh my god.”

“keep that fuckin’ back down,” he spits as one of his hands fall onto your spine, pushing you down further. you can feel drool pooling onto his mattress, dampening the sheets beneath you, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. you can hear his smile as he says, “talking all that shit earlier, look at you now, just taking it like the cockslut you are.” 

your back arches deeper at his words, noises leaving your lips that you can’t hear anymore, he was right. all you could do was take it as your hand reaches between your legs, rubbing quick circles over your clit, needing to cum again. 

he snatches your wrist, pulling it behind your back, his own fingers replacing yours. his voice is downright mean as he says, “can’t make you cum, right? teach you to watch that fucking mouth of yours.” 

the coil is tightening at a rapid pace, quicker than you thought, and you fight to lift your back as heeseung presses his front over it, effectively keeping you down. “go ahead, baby, cum around my cock, prove those words fuckin’ wrong.”

you can’t delay your orgasm as it crashes over you harder than the first, your vision whites out, ears going deaf, you didn’t know if you were making any noise or the orgasm had rendered you silent. you could barely hear heeseung as he praised, “there you go, good girl, cumming on my cock– so good, fuck.”

your free hand gripped the sheets as your orgasm lasted with heeseung relentlessly fucking into you, dragging it out further. when your hips started bucking away from him he took his fingers off your clit, releasing your hand just to grab onto your hips again, thrusting into you impossibly harder. 

your eyes had long ago closed, limp beneath him, bending however he handled you as he chased his own release, snapping into you so hard you couldn’t process any of it anymore. head somewhere else, so fucked, utterly spent, this was easily the best experience you’ve had with heeseung– a half smile crawls onto your cheeks as he finally groans out, guttural and deep, filling you up. 

it’s warm, comforting, being so full– until you realize you’re full. your eyes peel open, voice raw, “did you just come inside me?” 

heeseung blinks at you mid-pull out, “yeah?” 

“you’re such an asshole,” you mutter, mustering up the strength to lift yourself up after he pulls out fully to flip yourself over. “chivalry is so dead, men don’t even ask anymore?”

heeseung stands before you, cock spent and limp without a care in the world, “chivalry has never existed between us in the first place.”

you manage to stand on wobbly legs, walking yourself to the bathroom connected to his room, answering him through the open door, “and that’s why i stopped talking to you.”

“really?” he asks from his bed, laying down on his back, sounding genuinely curious. “i thought we had a mutual agreement going on.” 

you pee, an attempt to also flush out him, “mutual means you actually discuss it and agree on it, hee.”

he’s silent for a moment, but as you flush, he asks, “can we talk about it now?”

“fuck no,” you say through a laugh as you walk back into his bedroom, relying solely on adrenaline to keep your legs working, “you’re getting blocked again as soon as i walk out the door, but i’m proud of you for learning how to fuck.”

he pouts, “i like the old you better, she was nice.” 

you pull your skirt up your hips with a giggle, ignoring him as you search for your bra, your top. heeseung sits up on his elbows, still completely naked, watching as you zip up your boots, “are you really gonna block me when you leave?” 

you pull your phone from your jacket pocket, unlocking it just to search through your messages until you find his contact, blocking it immediately. you smile at him, “good to see you again.”

you close his door behind you, not giving him another glance, feeling quite literally on top of the world as the music greets your ears again, adrenaline pumping harder through your veins. you make your way down the stairs on wobbly legs, fingers gripping onto the railing, your jacket folded over your arm. 

you make your way to the kitchen in search of another drink, but find giselle and julie instead, who take one look at you before they pull you to the corner of the room. 

“you look like a fucking mess,” giselle whisper-yells, licking her thumbs before swiping them under your eyes, wiping your mascara on her dress. 

julie, who was trying to flatten your hair, is also whisper yelling as she says, “please don’t tell us you fucked him.” 

you just smile— dazed, still wrapped up in a post-orgasm bliss, you proudly mutter, “i came twice.” 

the two of them stopped their movements on your body, taking a step back to look at you, confusion written all over their faces. even if a part of them knew what you had just done, they surely held out hope it wasn’t heeseung.

julie’s jaw drops after a second, her voice high pitched, “twice?!” 

giselle lightly hits julie’s arm before she looks at you with a serious expression, “all of the boys have been looking for you.” 

you groan, head falling backwards, “can i do anything without them breathing down my neck?” 

“you’re kidding, right?” giselle puts a hand on her hip, shifting her weight to one side. “what about yunho?” 

your eyes dart back and forth between the two, completely lost, “what about yunho?” 

giselle takes a second to stare, her face unreadable before it morphs into what you saw on san maybe thirty minutes prior– disappointment. you glance at julie, who’s staring with disdain, her brows furrowed and upper lip bent. when they don’t answer, you flatten your outfit, pull your jacket back up to your elbows, letting out a short breath. 

“it’s fine,” you put on a smile, ignoring their clear disappointment, the sweat on your neck beginning to run cold. “if it’s such a big deal, then no one has to know.” 

giselle shakes her head with tight lips, turning back through the kitchen, slipping through bodies with julie on her heel. your heartbeat quickens, the guilt gets heavier, your thoughts mush in your head— now more people are mad at you, it wasn’t just san anymore, it was your girl friends who encouraged you to go out, who know your situation. what about yunho? the question lingers on your glowing, sweat kissed skin as you step forward towards the island, searching for a bottle. 

a shot or three to take the edge off, that’s what you needed. the whole reason you hooked up with heeseung was to fix the confusion you felt, to force the feelings to leave you, not to make everything worse. there was nothing between you and yunho, there was no reason for you not to hook up with heeseung. ease fills the shot glass in the form of clear liquor, you shoot it back with intention, to lay atop the pit in your stomach and cancel it out. when the first one doesn’t work immediately, you opt for two, which makes for three before your head gets fuzzy all over again. 

floating through bodies, your ears lead you to the living room again, where couches and recliners have been pushed to the walls, making room for the crowd that seemed to be awaiting your return. it welcomed you as you slipped in, making your way through to the middle as if it parted for you, you didn’t see a singular face you recognized and it comforted you. not a thought ran through your head as you let the music guide you, between bodies, moving to the beat as if you were brainless. maybe you were at this point– you wondered what seonghwa would think of you tonight, the actions you made, but the thought was fleeting as you spotted the blonde guy from earlier. 

“hoshi!” you yelled over the music to the blonde whose face was crimson, eyes just as glossed over as your own, smile matching your own, the night seemed to be treating him the same as it treated you. 

he was silent as his hand grabbed onto yours, closing the space between you, his other hand falling to your hip to move together. words weren’t needed as he turned you around, your eyes fluttering shut, feeling your soft skirt against the denim of his jeans. haze wasn’t the word to describe it, you’d left ENA entirely, you might have even left your own body. 

your eyes didn’t open again until you felt his hand grab yours– except it wasn’t his, you realized when you opened your eyes, san stood in front of you with eyebrows furrowed and a tight jaw, he was speaking a mile a minute, but your eyes that were glued to his lips couldn’t make a single word out no matter how hard you focused. his eyes glanced over your shoulder, maybe speaking to hoshi, you couldn’t tell, but you assumed when you felt your bodies come to a stop. 

his jaw tensed, you watched it flex as his gaze came back down to you, eyes pointed and angry. your eyebrows furrowed as your body swayed, not to the music, you had no sense of balance anymore. he was tugging on your wrist now, pulling you through the crowd, your eyes fell to your shoes to manually put one foot in front of the other. 

“are you mad at me?” you managed to ask, unaware of your volume, not sure if you said the words right. 

he looked back with that same look and the pit in your stomach returned with vengeance, “you’re going home.”

you pouted, letting your eyes fall on the crowd, looking anywhere but at san. like a child in time-out is what you felt like, like he was punishing you, like you’d done something wrong. what did you do that was so wrong? you couldn’t place it, you couldn’t remember. no way he’d be this angry about heeseung. you were a grown woman, fully capable of making your own decisions. 

when you made it on the outskirts of the crowd, you asked again with slurred words and eyes that were barely open, “what did i do?” 

he pulled you through the front door onto the deep brown porch, where bodies littered the space, holding cigarettes, joints, solo cups, the ground littered with trash. the cold greets you rudely as you trip over your feet, trying to avoid crushed cans on the ground as you come to an abrupt stop, grabbing onto san’s bicep for leverage, giggles leaving your mouth as you try to catch your balance. 

“you think it’s funny?” his words are sharp, cutting into your laughter, effectively silencing you immediately. it’s sobering– the cold, his anger, the situation that feels serious even if you don't know why.

he pulls his phone up to his ear without waiting for an answer, “i have her, i’m ordering an uber. if you’re coming, let’s go.” 

your eyebrows furrow again, voice coming out in a whine, “i don’t wanna leave! what about the drunk bus?”

he ignores you again, typing something out on his phone. your arms cross over your chest as your legs cross in frustration, looking around the porch, the smells enticing you, asking you to join them. your body turns back to the front door, eyes glancing over the slab of white wood, the thought crosses your mind to just walk back inside. you wanted to dance more, you wanted to drink more, you wanted to do anything except go home. 

you glance back to san, still on his phone, you were sure he wouldn’t even notice if you did. a sly smile crawls onto your cheeks as you step forward, hand on the doorknob to whip it open just as it’s pushed open for you. san’s hand on your wrist pulls you backward as ace steps through the threshold, brown hair a mess atop his head, eyebrows flat and jaw locked, too. great.

“be careful, teens,” san’s words are softer now as he places his hand on your back to push you upright again. reia, yunho and yeosang follow behind ace, stepping over the threshold onto the porch, every single one of them eyeing you down with expressions you couldn’t decipher– yet you knew not one of them was happy. 

you swallow, looking at every face that surrounds you, feeling like the problem. “what’s going on? why are we leaving?” 

“you’re fucked up,” ace responds, his words short, “and you’re pissing me off.” 

your face contorts into immediate anger, words still slurred as you try to keep your balance, “i’m pissing you off? i haven’t even seen you all night.” 

he steps forward, “yet i have everyone and their mother in my ear telling me you’re upstairs with heeseung.”

“so what?” your eyebrows furrow, “i can do whatever the fuck i want.” 

“i’m not fighting with you on the fucking porch of the frat,” ace responds, walking straight past you down the steps of the porch, fingers linked with reia who gives you an apologetic expression as she walks past. 

you follow him down the steps onto the gray lawn, voice growing louder as he gets farther away, “you’re not fighting with me at all, because i did nothing wrong.”

ace ignores you as he walks to the curb, waiting for the uber, and you can feel the anger bubbling up inside you. as you make it to the curb behind him, your voice keeps the same volume despite the closed distance, “are we seriously leaving because i hooked up with heeseung? you’re acting like i killed someone!” 

ace glances at you, his eyebrows still hung heavy over his lids, his gaze heavy and irritated. “no, we’re leaving because you got fucked up and deliberately hooked up with someone who hurt you, tiny. you’re fucking around with people’s feelings, obsessed with this boyfriend thing, it needs to stop.”

you shake your head in disbelief, voice growing even louder, “who’s feelings am i playing with? what the fuck are you talking about?” you look back to yeosang, looking for someone to help, to be on your side, but his lips twist to the side, staring at you with nothing but disappointment, too. “what the hell am i missing here?” 

ace laughs, it’s a hollow chuckle as cold as ice, “who? you spent all night fucking–”

“leave it alone,” yunho cuts in, his voice flat yet demanding, and it grabs ace’s attention immediately. 

ace turns to yunho, his eyebrows in his hairline, “no, it’s not right–”

“i said leave it alone,” yunho repeats himself, his voice dominating, you swallow down your questions, your confusion about yunho controlling the conversation now. you let out a shaky breath, stumbling over your feet again as if you moved– yet you were not moving, standing straight up on the edge of the lawn. yunho turns to you, “we can talk about everything tomorrow, you’re too drunk to understand anything.” 

you blink at him, heartbeat growing quicker, “talk about what? give me something.” 

yunho runs a hand through his hair, eyes twisting into something unreadable, confusion or frustration, something you couldn’t place. “it’s not valid and he’s wrong for it, but he’s trying to stick up for me,” he lets out a heavy breath, “they all are.”

you look around the group, everyone looking up at yunho with surprise on their faces, glancing between you and him. san cuts in, speaking under his breath, “the uber’s here, let’s go.” 

you stand still for a moment as the four of them walk towards the gray mini van, blinking at yunho who hasn’t taken his attention off of you. your voice is quieter now, asking a question you feared you knew the answer to already, “why are they sticking up for you?”

yunho looks down to his shoes, biting his lips for a moment, before he lifts his eyes back up to you. his fingers tug at his shirt, discomfort radiating off of him, “because they know that i love you, and they think that you know it, too.”

wanna go on the next date?

8fd masterlist | main masterlist

tags :p @chimivx @emmxxsworld @alisonyus @livixcore @skzswife @dawn-iscozy @yusalterego @velvetring00 @minvxq @moonlightgrleric @unicornwhisperer666 @sunnysidesins @hwashua-luv @hh0320 @moonl1ghtmuse 

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s February ficrec frenzy

Hi everyone, just under two weeks to go until we're so so back, and it's time for February's rec post of all the fic that I've read and loved over the last month! Basically I've been rolling around in delight at all the interpretations of the behind the scenes hug fic, so you may sense a theme. As always you can find previous rec lists here.

22 February 2025

It’s a good thing we’re so normal and well-adjusted and could never fall in love with each other! by @luckshiptoshore my dear friend wrote her first Buddie fic, and it's a delight. Posing the question, what would happen if Buck and Eddie had an ongoing fwb arrangement, and hadn't thought any deeper about it than that because they're both straight right, so it's just blowing off steam? Coupled with Buck's canonical bi awakening...that makes him reassess what exactly has been going on all this time. Witty and so much fun, bless these idiots, they have but one braincell between them but boy does it spark when rubbed together.

there is no road by @ghostlandtoo such a gripping take on Eddie moving to El Paso and Buck in LA missing him, this is a dual POV in which Buck is striving to be fine, and Eddie is struggling to adjust, and they're both missing each other. When Eddie is injured on the job, Buck drops everything to come to his side, and together they heal and slowly start to unpeel the layers on their feelings. Really fantastic examination of how to be there for each other when you know what you feel but not how to unblock obstacles in the way. I especially loved the Eddie POV and myriad family dynamics in this one.

so make the best of this test (and don’t ask why) by @littlefreakbuckley oh this one took me by surprise in the best way! Buck 1.0 wakes up in the marriage bed of future Buck and Eddie. Adjusting to learning he's into guys too now, and reckoning with the realisation that he's built a family since his early season 1 pre-Abby relationship days, what unfolds is both flirtation to the max and a beautifully introspective journey of acceptance. And one VERY intrigued Eddie. Hot and sweet, their idiosyncrasies and banter were so on point, with such a lovely subtle characterisation shift between 1.0 and Buck that still made them both feel distinctly them even with the gap in wisdom and growth: just gorgeous. Also hot, did I say hot? Hot! 

crying after sex by @eddiebabygirldiaz I'm always here for an ren's fics, and oh hello, this one is a stunner! After a hook up following the Risky Business scene, Buck and Eddie have kissed...but they've yet to define anything, and before they can have that conversation, one or the other bolts. When Eddie moves to Texas, Buck spirals and has a lot of sex and spirals some more. They miss each other terribly, and through their discussions, they find their way to each other, but not without a few speed bumps. I really love the self reflection they both go through here, and the structure which means we get to see so much of how they cope, love, and grow together.

his indecision's bugging me by @peachino a beautifully written contribution to the 'Eddie moves out and without telling him, Buck moves in' speculation. The language and descriptions in this one are so gorgeous, with Buck's head being a delightfully messy, tangled place to inhabit. There's paint metaphors, Buckley sibling conversations, and an Eddie who is gently accepting and amused. I love you squatter Buck!

crash test anthem by @clytemnestraaa part two in gear shift harmony, Buck is not having a great time in LA, and the firefam are concerned for him. Really diving deep into his abandonment issues and his less than healthy ways of dealing with them, this is putting him in the torment nexus.

tailspinning by @doitgently taking Buck spiralling to the extreme...this is that one time Buck snooped on Eddie's fridge calendar to the extreme! With a mix of location tracking and memorised schedules, the codependency is off the charts and yet remains somehow incredibly sweet and charming - such a fine line and executed so well. Buck knows what he's doing is insane but god help him, he just needs to know.

slaughterhouse by @kithmet 'Buck has resolved to be the greatest friend ever. He’s handling this move so well. And not at all being abnormal about Eddie’s house. Or Eddie’s belongings. Or, well. Eddie.' In which Buck accidentally starts magpieing Eddie's belongings in a reaction to him moving away and feels very guilty about it but just can't stop himself....and Eddie's reaction might not be what you expect. This one tickled me so much, lovely little klepto.

oh brother, I see (you burn like me) by canadadry SISTERS!!!! Oh oh how I loved this...chapters split between Adriana and Maddie, this is a third person POV to Buddie, from the eyes of their siblings. What Adriana witnesses coming in fresh contrast to poor Maddie's slowly boiled frog experience of the two. Lovely characterisation and just so much fun, I really loved that they bonded over the insanity.

We're Overdue for a Revival by @bespectacledbunnys in which Chris agrees to come back to LA but he has one condition....Eddie must marry Buck. The only problem? Buck and Eddie are totally platonic? Right? I love the comedy of errors sensibility to this fic, along with the marriage of convenience trope wielded by teenage melodrama. Chris is brilliantly given agency here, allowed to be a messy and contradictory and hurt teenager just trying to be okay. Love Buck's easy acceptance and the firefam's incredulity. So much fun, and a delightful ride.

Okay let's leave it there for now, with Eddie perpetually in El Paso and Buck perpetually Not Okay About It. So excited to be back with more canon informed fics soon, happy reading everyone! 12 days until 8b!

[alicentlander]

million dollar man

summary: You just wanted to go see your friends and family for a weekend.

Homelander is far less than pleased with the idea.

(possessive behavior, jealousy, unhealthy relationship dynamics, manipulation, isolation, codependency, homelander’s basically your sugar daddy lol, fem reader)

wc: 1.9k

You were living in the pinnacle of luxury.

It’s been a few months since you had come to this… arrangement with Homelander. One minute you were worrying about being able to put your next meal on the table and living paycheck to paycheck, then the next you were living in Homelander’s penthouse, him giving you everything you could possibly desire and then some.

It was a simple and fair trade. All you had to do was stay in his penthouse, wait for him to come home, and then shower him in all the love and affection he could ever want. He wasn’t even too demanding when it came to sex - as long as you were stroking his hair or his hands were on you in some way, he was more than content to just cuddle up with you all day and night, the two of you murmuring sweet words to each other.

While he bought you whatever you wanted, he typically chose what you wore, usually some revealing pajamas or lingerie; a few different robes for if you got cold (but usually he was more than enough to keep you warm).

Right now you were waiting on the couch and watching TV in some babydoll lingerie, waiting for him to come home like you did most days.

While you could have anything you wanted and knew he wouldn’t say no to most things, it still got so… boring and lonely without him here with you. It was sort of frustrating the way you had become dependent on him over the last few months. Depending on him for shelter, food, clothing, attention. At the start of this, he had insisted on you quitting your job, reassuring you that you had nothing to worry about with him taking care of you as long as you just stayed with him. Pretty soon after, you moved out of your apartment since you practically lived with him, anyways. It was pretty pointless to keep the place if you never went there, after all.

One of the rules he had set for you was that you couldn’t contact anyone on the outside without his permission. He had allowed you to text your family a few times in the early weeks here (with him practically breathing down your neck as he watched you type each message), but lately whenever you asked him if you could, he would give a noncommittal “maybe later” before distracting you with a teasing hand between your legs and kisses on your neck, dragging you off to the bedroom.

As much as you adored him, it felt very isolating and you were going to try to talk to him about it tonight. You deserved to have some boundaries too, right? Even if they might contradict what he wants.

You were hoping you could talk him into letting you visit some of your loved ones just for the weekend. That didn’t sound unreasonable. Just one weekend away. You’d be gone from his side for 48 hours at most. Probably less. He couldn’t - wouldn’t - deny you that. You might have to bring out the pleading doe-eyes, but he wouldn’t deny you... right?

Yet, just thinking about having the conversation with him gave you anxiety.

“Darling, I’m home!” Homelander’s voice cut through your thoughts, his voice having a sweetness he only ever used with you.

You turn off the TV, standing up from your spot on the couch, and going to greet him, trying to calm your heartbeat that was beating slightly faster than it normally did before he noticed.

You turn off the TV, standing up from your spot on the couch, and going to greet him, trying to calm your heartbeat that was beating slightly faster than it normally did before he noticed.

“Hey, sweetheart! Welcome home,” you stand on your toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek like you did everyday as if it were a ritual, him already leaning forward for it, “how was your day?”

“Ugh… don’t get me started…” Homelander scoffs and rolls his eyes, before gazing almost lovingly down at you. He holds you close to him, one of his hands resting on the small of your back. He kisses the top of your head and then nuzzles against it, “but I’m already feeling much better now that I’m home with my favorite girl.”

You hum and smile up at him, your hands resting on his chest.

He pulls back just a bit, looking at your face with adoration, then looking you up and down. Homelander furrows his brows, picking up on your quickened heartbeat. He holds your face in his hand, caressing your face with his thumb.

“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” he asks as he examines you once more. “Your heart rate’s higher than usual.”

Of course he’d notice that almost immediately. It was impossible for you to hide anything from him. Guess your conversation was going to have to start sooner than you had planned.

“Y-yeah,” you clear your throat, then force a smile, “yeah, of course. I just… wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” he questions with a raised eyebrow, moving the hand that was on your back to run up and down your arm.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. Definitely. You weakly try reassuring yourself.

“Yeah, umm… I was sort of thinking that I wanted to go… home… for a few days.”

His hand immediately freezes on your upper arm, squeezing it. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s definitely tighter than most people’s grip. You push down the thought of how easy it would be for him to break you if he didn’t have as much self-control around you that he did.

His face remains expressionless for a minute before he lets go of you and forces a smile, walking past you, his cape trailing dramatically behind him. It looked like one of those smiles he would put on for the cameras - not in front of you where he was usually so open and honest about he felt.

“Go home? You live here, silly,” he says, trying to keep his tone light, but there was an obvious underlying tension and warning in it.

You turn around to face him, suddenly feeling very underdressed compared to him.

“I- yeah. Yeah, of course, I do, babe. Obviously. I just meant, I wanted to visit some friends and family for the weekend. That’s all.”

You can see the muscles in his jaw tense, the fake smile on his lips twitching before dropping completely.

“…why?” he asks slowly, narrowing his eyes at you in suspicion. He keeps talking before you have a chance to respond, “am I not enough for you?”

Your eyes widen at his words.

You knew he was insecure, no matter how much he pretended he wasn’t, but in the entirety of your relationship you had never even slightly implied that.

“What? No! Homelan-“

“Don’t!” he cuts you off harshly, raising his hand in the air, causing your shoulders to tense up. He quickly notices and takes a deep breath, trying to calm down before he ends up scaring you. He lowers his hand and softens his voice, “don’t call me Homelander, sweetheart. I’ve told you that before. You know I don’t like you calling me that when we’re alone.”

“Right. Right… yeah, sorry. Sorry, John,” you quickly apologize and you can see his entire demeanor relax the slightest bit.

“Good… Good girl…” he murmurs almost absentmindedly, once again turning away from you and walking off as if deciding he was just done with this conversation.

You weren’t quite ready to drop it.

“John,” you groan, following him to your shared bedroom, “I’m trying to talk to you about-“

“Do you wanna take a shower together?” he asks as if you weren’t talking, “you know, I’d really love to take a shower with you right now. Long day.”

He’s already going through your drawers and looking over your clothes, not waiting for your answer.

You sigh heavily, crossing your arms in front of your chest as he changes the subject. He could be so childish at times, especially when it came to talking about things he didn’t want to talk about.

“John,” you repeat his name more firmly, “I want to go see some friends and family. Just for the weekend. That’s all, I swear.”

He frowns as he slowly looks back at you and stares at you, a mixture of annoyed and offense in his blue eyes.

“You don’t need to see them. You have me. Unless you think I’m not enough for you,” he repeats his question from earlier in a more accusatory tone.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” you sigh under your breath before trying to rationalize with him, walking up to stand in front of him, grabbing his hands and squeezing them gently, “of course you’re enough for me, my love. More than enough,” you reassure him gently, stroking his hand before quietly adding, “I just think that I’ve been a little… isolated… from the rest of the world lately.”

While he seemed close to softening at your reassurances, it disappeared so quickly you thought you might have imagined it after you finished your confession.

Your words - no matter how gently and innocently you meant them - only seemed to make him angrier.

You pull your hands away from him, his staying in the same spot.

“Isolated.”

He repeats the word as if it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, his anger starting to get the better of him.

You instinctively take a step away from him. He follows after you until your back eventually hits the wall. He puts his hands on either side of your head, caging you in with a snarl.

“I provide everything for you! I give you everything you could possibly want or need! And it’s still not enough for you?!”

You push yourself as far back into the wall as you can. He’s never talked to you like this before. You knew from your few interactions with some Vought employees that he could have a bit of a temper at times and he had already shown you in the past he had extreme jealousy problems.

And of course you knew he had some other… issues. Mommy issues, specifically. He was always so needy and desperate for your love and affection, but you didn’t think it would go so far as to him wanting to be the literal only person in your life.

Or maybe it had been glaringly obvious this entire time, you just choosing to ignore all the red flags he freely displayed while living your pampered lifestyle with him.

His eyes soften after a minute, seeing how scared you looked of him. He sighs softly and cradles your face in his hands, speaking gently to you as if you were a wounded animal.

“You don’t need anyone else besides me, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you. Forever. I promise,” John tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His words sound so sincere, “I love you so, so much, my darling. More than anybody else ever could or will. You know that, right?”

You close your eyes as you let him stroke your hair and pepper kisses along the top of your head. So lovingly, but they felt equally possessive.

You knew he’d never let you go. That he would never share you with another person for even a second.

”Yeah,” voice cracks the slightest bit as you reply, “…love you too.”

[divorceblogger]

I think the most difficult thing that armand struggles to come to terms with (re: his feelings about marius) is very much that marius seemingly steps into his life and performs actions that are, at a superficial glance, meant to be liberatory or empowering but are unequivocally very predatory if you start to dig into the meat of their relationship.

Marius rescues armand from starvation and sexual slavery at a point in his life when armand is actively entertaining thoughts of suicide. marius sweeps in, purchases him, and transfers him from abhorrent conditions of existence to a life of material comfort, although it’s not really a safe one, but at this point armand doesn’t necessarily have the ability to have a critical dialogue about safety with himself because he’s so glad to be rescued from slavery that he ascribes divinity to marius. he also receives an allowance and he’s taught swordplay. he’s taught swordplay. but what kind of harm could a child ever cause to a 1500 year old vampire?

And the material reality is that marius is not really interested in empowering armand at all. he actively fosters an unhealthy codependency between them, he withholds information about his nature, he performs sexual acts on him even when armand doesn’t necessarily comprehend that these acts are sexual in nature. he also strategises methods that he reasons are supposed to sexually liberate armand but these instances just contribute to the overall conversation on how he grooms him. armand is 15 years old when marius sends him out to brothels “to learn how to couple properly”. do you remember that he was supposed to be forced into prostitution. marius now offers him the illusion of sexual power by allowing him to experience sexual pleasure instead of offering it to predatory customers instead. but armand also says that he doesn’t enjoy the experiences at the brothels because he craves sexual relations with marius solely, to a point where he feels resentful about being asked to participate in these acts even when he derives sexual pleasure from them. he endures the experiences because his master gives him no other choice, but it’s also in these brothels that he discovers that sex doesn’t have to be associated with pain as it often tends to be with marius.

When he returns ‘home’ from the brothels he’s perceptive enough to understand that marius really sent him to receive a sexual education on marius’s behalf and attempts to replicate these acts on him. he unconsciously takes up the role of a sex worker, but again he’s a child, and it’s horrifying that he thinks he’s harassing marius by initiating sexual relations with him. it’s also not very surprising that when he does display sexual interest in other people marius emotionally shuts him off (because these experiences were never instituted with armand’s interest in mind) and these moments shape up to be very harrowing experiences for armand - he’s been taught to crave marius’s affection and never do anything that might displease him. armand often has to beg his way back into marius’s good graces and allow himself to be subjected to corporal punishment to achieve this. it’s terrifying that one of the first ideas the boys in the villa convey to armand despite the language barrier is that their master will never hurt him.

And the alarming fact about armand’s transformation is that vampirism serves to just further reinforce this abuse, even though, once again, it might seem like an empowering act. his newly acquired powers don’t change his reality - he’s still under marius’s control the whole time. he’s also further isolated from boys his age who share his interests, and his nights with marius are insular and suffocating. the corporal punishments continue. they’re now adjusted to account for his vampirism. “usual brain jarring blow” is a term floated in the book. marius calls armand’s coffin a “crib”. he very seriously asks armand if he’s ever been cruel to him soon after he transforms him. armand’s codependency with marius is in fact further reinforced by the vampiric transformation that marius carries out. so much of armand’s initiation into vampirsm is once again rooted in sexual instruction, once again evoking patterns of behaviour that are associated with grooming. it’s very in-character for marius to teach him the fundamental principles of seducing his victims before killing them. he also advices him to develop emotionally frigid relationships and never reveal his true self to the people he cares for, further establishing marius as the most significant figure in his life, as the person he constructs his entire identity around. how was he ever supposed to turn out well-adjusted?

[theealbatross]

Sebastian x Reader: come one, come all (One Shot)

Plot | Five years after graduating, two kindred spirits are finally getting married and their friends reminisce on their brilliant histories.

or, Lucas Brattleby interviews their friends on their memories and opinions of the future Mr. and Mrs. Sallow as a little gift for the couple.

Tags | None, fluff, overuse of the name Merlin, mentions of slight torture (hexes), lowkey bullying, lowkey codependency if you squint, obsessive behavior (but it's okay cause theyre in love), cursing, Lucas lowkey has a crush on Sebastian lol

[A/N: A line from this story is not made by me, "I would follow him to hell but I wish he wouldn't go there" so to whoever wrote that first just know your quote is the inspiration for this story!!]

“What is this again?”

The brat, Lucas Brattleby, had grown obscenely taller the last time Imelda had seen him, which was about 3 years ago when he was a rookie reporter covering her latest game. She heard he is now a publisher in his own right but didn’t seem to brush off that annoying lint in his voice back when he was still a Gryffindor matching illegal unsanctioned duels in the Clock Tower.

“A small gift of mine for the couple,” he grinned (still as irritating, she’s seen that grin enough times before she got her ass handed to her so forgive her for not being enamored), pushing the pen (recorder?) to her that she reflexively pushed him by his face. “Sorry.”

“And why should I do this?”

“Oh come on, Imelda. It’s just harmless questions to take us back down memory lane. It’ll be played at the reception and I promise I’ll send you everything before I finalize it just so you can make sure –”

“Alright!” She stopped walking, rolling her eyes when Lucas quickly assembled his camera, even quickly conjuring a chair and putting it at the center of the frame. Clearly, he knew she could change her mind at any moment.

“My lady,” he bowed dramatically, pointing a palm to the seat.

“Don’t call me that. You have 10 minutes before warm-ups start.” Lucas raised both of his hands in the air before quickly running behind the camera and clicking the button to start recording.

“I’ll be out of here in 5.” Lucas flipped a paper in front of him. “Let’s start with your name, a little something about yourself and where did you meet them.”

She took a deep breath, putting on the poker face she usually plasters on her face when talking to the media before her many games instinctively. “Imelda Reyes, Vice-Captain of Puddlemere United, and I had the misfortune of being in the same boat as Sebastian Sallow during our first year. She, however, was a little late to the party and wreaked havoc on my life when I was a fifth year.”

Lucas was meticulously writing notes in his fancy notebook.

“What’s the fondest memory you have of the couple?”

She scoffed, not even needing to think about it. “Sebastian? Definitely when he caught a bludger … with his face.” The memory of the cry he emitted pulled a real smile on Imelda’s face. “We almost lost and I would’ve killed him for it but oh was it glorious.”

He remembers this game.

“Didn’t he fall off his broom midair?”

Imelda waved a nonchalant hand in front of her face. “That girlfriend of his caught him with an Arresto Momentum so no harm done – well, except the crooked nose he sported for a week.”

Lucas chuckled with her, “And for the future Mrs. Sallow?”

“Nothing much, most conversation we’ve had was her beating me – beating me in a race, beating me in a duel, Merlin, she even beat me with the class ranking on her first year in Hogwarts. I had a five-year head start how was that possible?!”

Lucas smiled, reading that as bitter her words were she truly held no grudge over it. He was caught off guard, however, when Imelda suddenly had a small, serene smile on her face, her voice when she spoke softer. “She was … it was like I was always chasing after her. We all were, Sebastian always first in the race but … it was fun. I had fun. She made Hogwarts fun. A true competition, yknow? Didn’t have much at that point in my life.”

“Competition?”

“A friend.”

Lucas couldn’t help but be surprised – not everyone can be considered as Imelda Reyes’ friend as picky as she is, though he quickly fixed his face when she shot him a look that told him not to probe. “Did you ever think they would both get married?”

Imelda scoffed out a laugh, crossing her arms. “I knew the only way they wouldn’t get married is if Sallow got assassinated by one of her many admirers and even then I wouldn’t put it past him to somehow turn into an Inferi just so he can still be the one to marry her. I’m honestly surprised he held on for this long, pretty sure he would’ve popped the question the moment we graduated.”

“Technically, he did. They just decided to get married this year.”

That one made her laugh out loud, shaking her head at her old friend’s antics. Of course, she knew those two would get married, basically tied to the hip, always getting in and out of trouble with each other and for each other. Bloody hell, they’d been married since fifth-year and just didn’t know it.

“Typical Sallow,” she caught herself. “Well, Sallows now, Merlin help us all.”

Lucas rechecked everything on his notes, making sure to mark any and all important details of the words his enchanted pen has written for him as he spoke with his former Senior, Garreth Weasley, who was once a thorn on the side of Professor Sharp but was now a renowned Potions Master actively getting scouted by Hogwarts, his blends sought upon by the most respectable wizards and witches all over the world.

“Did I think they would get married? Mate, Sebastian almost bit my head off when I tried to ask her if she would like to be partners for one potion class. One! And we were sitting next to each other! I’m sorry if I thought I was being friendly?!”

Lucas has heard and has unfortunately been a victim of Sebastian’s … tendencies. You, despite being the top duelist in Hogwarts was always, more often than not, partnered with Sebastian in every duel. The one time Lucas had agreed in a quiet solo duel without letting Sebastian know his senior had caught him on his way to his potion's class and nailed him to the wall by his cloak while threatening him to never let it happen again or he will turn him into a pretty outline in the walls of Hogwarts with Bombarda.

He thinks that was the closest thing he had been to peeing his pants.

“Yeah, Sebastian doesn’t have the best track record with friendly males around his girlfriend.”

“They weren’t even courting by then how would I bloody know that –”

“Ready, Poppy?”

Surprisingly, the sweet woman in front of him has been the most difficult to track down. Amongst their mutual friends she was the one he had no idea where to start, especially after his only lead, her grandmother, had no other information to give him aside that the last she heard Sweet Poppy was down South Clagmar Coast ‘doing Merlin knows what’.

Thankfully, the citizens of Cragcroft were a bit more helpful and he was able to send her an owl about his little project.

“Where should we start?”

Lucas made sure she was framed perfectly in the shot before nodding to himself. “Nothing complicated Poppy, just first impressions or any memory you have of the young couple.”

She pursed her lips in thought, nodding to herself, “The two of them have always been terrifyingly intimidating, especially for someone like me. Seemed to just attract attention and trouble on their own – I mean, killing a troll in Hogsmeade on the first day – just a bunch of troublemakers they were. Brilliant troublemakers – which only made them scarier in my eyes.”

Lucas nodded in total agreement but he couldn’t help but squint at her.

“You aren’t exactly innocent, Ms. Hid-a-Hippogriff.”

Her eyes widened, blushing at the accusation. “In my defense, future Mrs. Sallow helped me take care of Highwing.”

Poppy recounted the memories with a smile on her face.  Her dainty smile grew bigger as she recapped happy memories she had with her classmates.

“But they’ve always been lovely. Lovely people and an even lovelier couple. Sebastian has always been bright and charming and surprisingly kind for a Slytherin and she … she’s always been unapologetic of who she was. It also meant she never judged anybody for who they are either.”

The woman paused, the smile on her face remained frozen as if she was in deep reflection.

“A true friend – one of the truest I had.”

Lucas was never in their circle, hell, aside from each other and maybe Ominis nobody was truly ever in their innermost circle despite their popularity. At every explosive trouble the two were always caught in he couldn’t help but wonder just what they get up to when they weren’t caught. Even back then he knew he would’ve risked his life and followed them no question asked if it meant his young self got to go to one of their death-defying adventures with them.

But being two years younger was a barrier he could never overcome.

It is refreshing to hear of stories from their friend’s perspective and not in passing in the Central Hall in Hogwarts where it’s all half-true, fabricated, or painfully hyperbolic. Maybe that’s why he had thought to do this, a reporter’s disease of needing to know the truth, the dark side of the coin they hid with their secrets and anonymities passed only in hushed whispers and clandestine meetings with each other.

“Are you excited about the wedding?”

Poppy nodded eagerly. “Oh, I’m extremely happy for my friends! It’s not every day two souls find each other and just not let go. I’m glad they didn’t. After all they’ve been through, they deserve to have each other.”

He couldn’t have agreed more.

“That they do.”

Mr. Lucas Brattleby,

I have received your owl, unfortunately, I will not be able to go back there till the night before the wedding as I still have a business to wrap up here in America. For the questions you sent, I shall send this Howler and you may record it.

I have nothing good to say about Mr. Sebastian Sallow, that boy had done nothing but torment me in my youth. It’s a bloody miracle he had managed to snag the Hero of Hogwarts as his girlfriend – terrible lack of judgment on her part I must say, we all have our flaws – much less agree to be his wife. If there’s one good thing he did do, it was willingly become a lowly servant to such a lovely witch. Least he could do, really.

However, despite their blatant differences and unfortunate similarities I, for one, knew immediately that not even Death could sever such a connection – not if Sebastian Sallow had anything to say about it, and trust me I speak from experience. They’ve fought through detentions, goblins, dark wizards, and a damned troll – I’m sure marriage will be a breeze in a park.

Well, if I’m wrong, then let the future Mrs. Sallow know I would be more than willing to offer a comforting shoulder.

Leander Prewitt Department of International Magical Cooperation

PS. To my darling wife Leonora, light of my life, the last part was a joke and If I somehow disappear it was Sebastian Sallow who did it.

“They give Sebastian too much credit when my dear friend was equally as obsessed about him. Do you remember Allia?”

Lucas snapped his fingers when he finally put a face to the name he hadn’t heard in a while but made sure to look around lest one of the younger students managed to hear such … delicate matters in the DADA classroom. “Didn’t she transfer during your 6th year? Something about personal … complications?”

Natty laughed out loud, doubling over with tears in her eyes. “Oh, that excuse was all thanks to Ominis swinging around his name. Our dear witch hexed poor Allia while she was asleep for trying to poison Sebastian with Amortentia! Sneaked straight into the Ravenclaw tower and cursed her to grow the features of a rat every time she even thought about Sebastian! The only way Ominis could convince our friend to take back the curse and avoid expulsion was at the condition of her transferring and never letting the couple see even her shadow again.”

He never even noticed that his jaw was hanging off his face.

“Oh, if everyone only knew that fights I had prevented if a Junior so much as fluttered their lashes at Sebastian,” she shook her head, still laughing to herself.

Now all the pieces he hadn’t realized were part of the same puzzle clicked on his head. The flat smile on her face that never quite reached her eyes every time they were surrounded by strangers, the grip she always held on Sebastian’s arms no matter where they were going, the ‘promise ring’ Sebastian also wore when traditionally it was just the girl who had it, and the absolute absence of Sebastian’s name when girls talked about boys they fancied in the common room when he was undoubtedly better looking than most students in Hogwarts.

“A jealous witch she was, thinks she’s good at hiding it,” Natty chuckled.

Lucas realized in horror that she had scared off the entire female student body.

“But by the gods was she better at hexes.”

When Lucas had heard that Ominis Gaunt had been working closely with the Minister for Magic and was undoubtedly being groomed to be his successor, he wasn’t exactly surprised. Everyone knew he would be someone important someday so Lucas had damn near lost all hope as he sent an owl to the man.

When he received a reply in a fortnight brought by a regal-looking owl, Lucas thought he must have some soft spot for his fellow alumni. But it would seem the man just had a lot to let out of his chest.

“Oh, the stories I could tell! If I had a knut for every time I had to rescue one of those idiots out of a horrific situation they found themselves in I would be richer than the Blacks!”

He’d never seen his hair this undone in the 7 years they had been on the same campus. Maybe Lucas was just that good of a journalist or maybe it was the half-empty bottle of expensive whiskey that was the reason for his loose lips.

“I mean, Sebastian was bad enough, but once he found someone who would willingly dive with him to whatever dangerous expeditions he found interest in and I was outnumbered it was a bloody nightmare.”

For the first time in his life, he felt pity for the man. It was never really a secret why Sebastian didn’t serve half the detention he deserved nor why neither of them had ever been expelled when a trail of evidence led to the both of them red-handed and always at the scene of the crime. But he has to give it to Ominis … a lesser man would’ve cracked at their mischiefs.

“And Sebastian … everybody knows he would’ve willing let himself be target practice for all sorts of curses if she had asked.”

Lucas can’t even defend his childhood hero. Especially, of the things he had learned from his previous subjects. It would seem even the mightiest of men would always buckle in the face of their true love.

“I-I’m sure they’ve done the same for you,” Lucas winced.

“Oh, they better, with the flaming hoops I had to jump through to make sure we graduated alive,” Ominis waved him off indifferently. “They are my best friends. I would follow them to hell but I just wish they would stop going there for one damn semester.”

Lucas snickered, unfortunately unable to hold it in with just how stressed the memory of the mischiefs his favorite couple got up to has brought Ominis. He was sure the older man would choke him but he just sighed out a laugh until the two of them were laughing to each other.

“I guess they have always been the perfect person for each other.”

Ominis nodded, leaning his head on his fist. “Yeah …”

He threw Lucas a look.

“Do you think they won’t make me their children’s godfather if I begged?”

Lucas bit his lips. “My money is on the eldest getting named after you so …”

Ominis groaned.

Lucas refilled his glass.

[rosemaryentombed]

bernard when he learns tim used to be in love with kon but dated cassie bc of their shared grief over kon’s death bc cassie used to date kon and tim was the closest she could get to him after his death, but now bart and kon are dating and tim’s so confused and tim’s like oh yeah, kon was in love with bart the whole time, and bart like died a couple of times but when he brought yj back together he did it to find kon and bernard’s like, so everyone’s in love with kon? and tim’s like not really, we were kids and codependent as hell, but kon was definitely in love with bart the whole time, and bernard’s like but bart never made a move? and tim’s like nah man kon’s girlfriend died and they were friends, and the girlfriend wasn’t cassie, so then tim tells him about tana and bernard’s head hurts.

bernard: “so this whole time, you and cassie knew bartkon was real????”

tim: “to be fair, it took kon longer to come out of the closet than me.”

bernard: “and impulse just came back to life outta nowhere!?”

tim: “speedsters are built different.”

mind you, bernard and tim are having this conversation at two am in bed after three rounds of sex.