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jeonqkooks · 9 months

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our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @wintaerbaer for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere.

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house.

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married.

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great.

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here.

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met.

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky.

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace.

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground.

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks.

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go.

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back. [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.” You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement.

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge.

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him.

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him. His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening.

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

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wandaslittlelove · 3 months

Text

Destined Part 2

Warnings: Kidnapping, mentions of killing I know this part is really bad but I promise the next one will be better

Series Masterlist

Kamar taj is not like anything I had expected it to be. It was a fortress with many young sorcerers training or that's what they were supposed to be doing. Instead they all stood still, waiting for the fight that was bound to happen.

I stood downstairs with America as the roof above us shook violently signifying the fight that was happening upstairs.

“We have to get you out of here.” Strange spoke as he entered the room. Wong explained to us that Kamar taj had fallen and I took a deep breath. I knew Wanda was capable of a lot of things but killing a bunch of innocent people like this? This was madness.

Suddenly the doors began to slam shut and people disappeared into puddles.

We had to quickly cover all reflectable surfaces but America was too slow and suddenly Wanda appeared in front of us. Wanda made eye contact with me before she went on to explain how her multiverse self had children in every other universe. How those children weren’t just hers but mine.

“None of that is real Wanda.” I spoke, stepping forwards ignoring America pulling my arm back. “At least not in this universe. You choose your life. You choose to cheat on me with vision. To create a life and children with him. Not me.” Wanda took a step towards me and softly caressed my face with her hand before gripping my jaw tightly. I heard a gasp from behind me and could feel the way Strange prepared himself to step in.

“You do not get to speak to me that way, little one. Even if you may not think so, you are still mine. Once I get America's powers I am going to get our children and we will be a perfect family. Now step out of my way.” She releases the grip on my jaw and I step back towards Strange and America.

“I'm sorry Wanda but I will not let you kill a kid or tear apart a happy family.” With my words Stange sends a creature towards Wanda but she is quick to fight them off and send Strange flying into a wall. She lifts America into the air and I am quick to send a white burst of energy flying towards her but she only dogages it glaring at me.

“Stay back” She growls as she uses her magic to cuff my arms behind my back.

I watch in horror as Wanda uses her magic to suck the energy out of America.

“STOP STOP. WANDA STOP!” I shout and her attention turns back to me. “Don’t hurt her!” I scream again. Suddenly everything seems to go in slow motion as I watch Strange jump towards America knocking her back into the portal she had created. I hear Wanda scream angrily as it closes right behind them and then I feel the pain in my head as she grips my hair tightly dragging me outside.

I say nothing as tears fall down my face from both the pain and the destruction around me. And nothing as suddenly my vision goes black.

When I wake up I look around confused as I notice my surroundings. Looking around I notice I'm in a bedroom. There are curtains half open on the windows and the door leading out of the room is cracked open. Slowly I sit up and begin to make my way towards the door. My eyes widen as I look down the hallway and see Wanda step out of a portal and into the living room.

When she sees me she smiles and beckons me over.

“I'm glad you're finally awake Bunny. Come have a seat.” When I refuse to come towards her she frowns and flicks her wrist sending me flying towards her. Out of fear I attempt to send an energy blast at her but panic when I realize I can’t.

“What did you do to me!” I yell as I struggle against her magic.

“Just a little spell to keep you in line. Your powers do not work anymore. Thanks to the dark hold our powers are no longer balanced.” She speaks as if it's the most simple thing in the world.

“America did you..?” I ask, remembering the portal she had just created.

“No. Her and Strange got away. The portal was to my throne.” she takes a look at my confused face before giggling. “You're such a naive little bunny. At first my goal was to gain America's powers so that I could steal the life of my counterpart but once she got away I figured why do that when I can just have my own. Even if I have to make you give me what I want.”

Tag list: @alexawynters @username23345 @casquinhaa @idontknow-llol @delulu-bayolet-era @dorabledewdroop @bananasplits-world

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scarthefangirl · 1 year

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A fix ~ Admit it Pt 2

Hobie Brown x fem!reader

Description: You and Hobie can't be together, its not canon. But he is determined to find a way. Part 1

Warnings: Language, Hobie breaking into your house lmao

Story type: Series

A/N: Sorry this is so short, comment or request if I should do a part three!! I know its not that good I'm sorry

Part 1 |

Masterlist | REQUESTS OPEN

I feel so small as Miguel stands here in his office, telling me off. I wish I could shrink away and disappear. I already know what a screw up I am.

"How am I supposed to fix this Y/N?" He screams and I let my warm tears stream down my face as I hiccup the tears away.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, unable to say anything else. He just stares at me with so much rage it makes me cry harder.

"I tried to help you! I tried to tell you. Now what am I to do?" He shouts but instead of yelling back, telling him I already know, or storming out I just run into his arms and cry into him. He is taken aback and doesn't reciprocate the hug.

"Y/N-" he starts but I just hug tigher. He sighs and loosely puts his arms around me, patting my head gently. Although he's very tense, I appreciate the pity hug.

"It's all my fault." I hiccup and pull away from him. I can't look him in the eyes, so I stare at the floor in shame.

"Listen, I like you kid. That's why instead of kicking you out I warned you again and again. But you messed up, I can't save you now." He says sharply and I try to suck in my sobs.

"There has to be something we can do." I tell him while breathing rapidly to keep in the sobs. "One kiss can't make my universe collapse." I try to convince him, but really myself. I love Hobie, but I didn't mean to end my life. My shoulders slump as I remember the kiss. It was so amazing, and I kick myself for getting butterflies just thinking about it.

"It can." He growls. I feel myself slump even further, sniffling.

"Please, I just want to date a boy and have my universe. Can't I have both?"

"No." He snaps. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask for your watch Y/N."

"Please, don't! I promise I'll end everything with him. I won't do anything to jeopardize the arachno-humanoid poly multiverse," I say the name slowly, having a hard time recalling his name for it. Then I just plainly add, "Please,"

"Don't make this harder kid, hand me the watch and I'll walk you to the device that'll send you home. I have to figure out how to clean up your mess so you are now under an extended break.."

"Please Miguel, I need this job. This is like, all I have," I cry.

"You should've thought of that. Now hand it over, you are relinquished from your duties here."

I just stare at him for a bit. I can't do it. I can't give this up, it's my life. Saving people is what i do, and with this job I could save even more.

But, despite myself, hand over the device on my wrist and he sends me home.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone.

I sit up in shock and jerk to the corner of my bed, having been suddenly woken up by someone shaking me. I pant, trying to catch my breath as I slowly register who is lurking around in my room in the dead of night.

Hobie Brown.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaim, still breathing heavily. My racing heart isn't just from surprise anymore, but also from his presence that I've been lacking for the last few days. Avoiding him was easier when I still saw him and worked with him.

"You haven't been at work for four days," He says blankly. He is looking right into my eyes and I look back, but I don't know how to explain. A cool breeze blows through the window that is open from Hobie's entry way. He's been to my apartment before, so I suppose he knows his way around.

"Wow, how observant," I roll my eyes but immediately feel a pang of guilt in my chest for the attitude. It is meant to be sarcastic but it just makes me sound bitchy. He glares at me and I feel myself melting under his stare. "What are you doing here? In my room, in the night time, scaring me half to death?" I ask. He shouldn't be here. We can't do this anymore, and really we never should have.

"You owe me an explanation." He replies plainly. I stare at him for a moment, eyes widened, before looking down at my lap and nervously play with my blanket.

"I know," I grimace. I scoot to the side of my bed and sit up completely then cross my legs so I'm sitting criss cross. He sits down next to me with his feet to the floor, staring at me. I feel my heart beating rapidly and a sinking feeling of guilt in my chest down to my stomach.

"I'm listening," He chuckles but something about it makes the sinking feeling worse, my stomach doing summersalts. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't find the words to explain. How can I make him understand? "Okay, I'll recap for you. You pretended not to like me than finally we kissed, than all a sudden Miguel is dragging you away and you're crying then you stop coming to work. Miguel told me to forget the kiss ever happened. But I can't. I love you Y/N, I'm sick of having to not say it. I can't forget and I don't want to so I'm not gonna."

I try poorly to hide my surprise at his sentiment. I want to tell him I love him back, and that I will find a way for us to be together. But I dorm want to prolong the suffering, I might as well rip the bandage off now. For both our sakes. So, I try my best to give a frank explanation.

"I broke my canon when we kissed, and I had been trying to avoid you because I knew that if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn't be able not to. And I was right. I wasn't able not to. Because I love you, but I'm not allowed to. Its not canon."

"Who gives a fuck about canon events?" He snorts and my eyes flicker up to meet his.

"Miguel says it'll destroy my universe. He wants to help me."

"If he wanted to help ya he wouldn't kick you out of the spider society for one bloody kiss," He says but I look at him wearily. "Look around Y/N, your universe is fine!"

"I messed up, I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm such a screw up," I say, tears threatening my eyes. I notice Hobie's gaze soften and he puts his hand on my leg, unintentionally sending electricity throughout my body.

"No you're not. Nobody cares about 'canon events' love. Your universe will be just fine no matter who you date or marry or kiss or whatever," He smiles in a comforting way. Did he say marry or did I just hear what I wanted to hear? But regardless, no. He's wrong. If you mess with the canon than the multiverse will suffer, and it's selfish of me to think I could be the exception. I push his hand off gently, even though it breaks my heart.

"I'm already on an 'extended break' from the spider society, and we all know what that means. I can't just throw my life away! My job is to protect these people, the people of my earth, not to risk their lives for personal gain." I explain, desperation filling my voice as I plead him to understand. "it's better to love each other from a distance."

"I refuse to accept that!" Hobie exclaims, crossing his arms against his chest. I can tell he had been in bed before coming here because of his ninja turtle pajama pants and a blue shirt with clearly home-cut cut off sleeves that reveal his toned arms, not that I noticed..

"I'm sorry," My glossy eyes fall to my fidgeting hands, and I jerk slightly in surprise when Hobie's hand grabs one of mine.

"I'm going to fix this Y/N, and we're going to be together. Trust me darling," Hobie says, placing a swift kiss on my forehead before standing up.

"Hobie-" I start but he cuts me off with a shake of his head. With that, he leaves out my open window and I stare at the window for at least five minutes. I don't know if I want him to come back and hold me and promise me everything will be okay, or leave and never come back so I can move on. I don't know if there's a way to fix things. I don't know what he can possibly do.

All I know, is I really want him to find a way.

I spend three excruciating weeks wondering, worrying, and wishing. When the one month mark hits, I finally give up most of my hope. He didn't find a way, or maybe he just moved on.

I have painfully carried on my responsibility of being spider woman around my city. I can't lie and say I do so joyfully, I do it begrudgingly. I know i should love my job, helping people and keeping my city safe, but everything reminds me of not just Hobie, but the whole spider society.

No spider people have contacted me, which I tell myself is for the best. Its hard to convince yourself that something so painful is the right thing, but whay else can I do? If I give myself time to sit and think about things, I'd be even more angry, sad, bitter, and I'd go into a funk. So instead, I spend hours and hours doing anything I can to distract myself. If I'm not going to lay in bed and immediately fall asleep than I'm not tired enough, because I'll lay and begin to think. When I start to think, I start to shut down.

Tonight was particularly exhausting. I yank my mask off, throwing it in my hamper. I take off the rest of the suit, leaving it on the floor as I sleepily stumble to the bathroom. Somehow I manage to shower, my hair thrown in a knotted and tangled messy bun. I throw on some fresh underwear and an oversized t-shirt. I brush my teeth lazily and then get into my bed. Immediately my eyes droop, falling into slumber. Before I can be deep asleep, my window is opened loudly and someone steps inside. I can hardly open my eyes I'm so sleepy, but I can make out Hobie Brown. His tall frame sends my heart plummeting and I roll over in bed, burying my face in my pillow. Maybe if I ignore him he'll leave.

"Y/N, im sorry its been so long." He apologizes and I just groan, still attempting to tune him out. I don't want to deal with this, as selfish as that seems it's true. I've spent a month trying not to think about him but really I have thought about it, and I love him and I think I always will. The longer we try to salvage it the worse it is for us.

"There was a lot of work stuff, and I didn't want to come see you without a fix," He says and all although I couldn't see him, he was grinning at me. Something about his words sparked the hope that I had tried to give up and I roll over so I'm staring up at the ceiling.

"But you're here, so do you have a fix?" I ask, my voice raspy from exhaustion. He jumps onto the bed next to me, laying down next to me on his back. We both gaze at the ceiling and I try not to be too hopeful.

"I do, honestly I can't believe you'd ever doubt me." He chuckles and my heart begins to beat quicker.

He found a way.

Part three?? Sorry this one was short!

Tags: // @liliummz // @themarvelprince // @misselsbells06 // @american-sataness // @cr0ssoverf4n4tic // @depressednoob // @cerene-ciderr // @leighanne03 // @inluvwithfictionalwomen // @singhfae // @mythixmagic // @itsyourboymicheal // @ravensinthedaylight // @dai-tsukki-desu // @url0calw3irdo // @daisydark // @snzzysstuff // @0-n-1-x // @darkdakota8998 // @narcissticassidy // @abbiejoker10 // @bellabnuuy // @alex--awesome--22 // @edgyficuselastica // @zombieblogx // @lady-of-nightmares-and-heartache // @koalaray // @justareader18 // @hobiespick // @sukisprettyface // @furblrwurblr // @grellshottieboyfriend // @i-love-ptv // @inspace1 // @seulg1luvr // @danis-stuff-is-here // @solecitoszn // @swaggybbq //

Join my taglist!

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zepskies · 9 months

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Hey Zepskies!

So I just wanted to ask if you could tell your most fav fav fics for Supernatural.

I’m pretty sure I’ve read all your fics and they are just 🥹🥹SO GOOD!!❤️❤️

But I need more.. so if you could pls pls help me out here🥰

Thanks!!

Oh my goodness, what a great question!!

(And thank you, my lovely. I'm so glad you enjoy my writing. 🥰🥰)

I've actually been doing a lot of reading lately, despite also writing up a storm, working on Smoke Eater.

Here are some of my favorites! They will span Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net, as I did a lot of my early reading/writing on other platforms.

Now, in no particular order...

Some of my favorite SPN stories:

Keep in mind, I probably like several fics from each of these authors, but I'm featuring one or two that I very much enjoyed.

**[Minors beware, I'm recc'ing a lot of 18+ only content here!]

Dean Winchester x Reader:

Hold On I'm Coming - @ravengirl94

Clear the Area - Alisha Ashton (Excellent 4-part series!)

Unspoken - @thatonewriter15

The Girlfriend Who Remade Christmas - @deanwinchesterswitch

Twenty Minutes or Less - @iprobablyshipit91

Magical Blooms - @iprobablyshipit91

The First Time Series - @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Remind Me - @justagirlinafandomworld

Delicate - @justagirlinafandomworld

The Fallout - @justagirlinafandomworld

Feral - @jawritter

Here For You - @marvelfanfn2187a113

Collared - @spnexploration

Old Man - @kaleldobrev

Creature of the Night - @waynes-multiverse

Friends with Benefits - @deanwritings

Safe - @waywardxwords

Carry On - @acreativelydifferentlove

You're Home - @acreativelydifferentlove

Helping Hand - @deanwanddamons

Love Language - @mind-empty-just-fictional-people | @jacklesbrainworms

It Ain't About Pity - @ejlovespie

More to Love - kittenofdoomage

Never Spoken, Always Said - kittenofdoomage

The Widow - @pink-sparkly-witch

Say I'm Beautiful - Lindsey D. Perez

While They Dance On A Pin (Jane Series 5) - shirleypositive72 (Dean x OC)

She's My Cherry Pie - BeccabooO1O

Feral - @luci-in-trenchcoats

Witches - @waywardxwords

Wild Flower - @deanbrainrotwritings

The Dangers of Hope - @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Take a Shot - @rizlowwritessortof

Dean Winchester x Lisa Braeden:

Damages - adventuresinposting

One Step at a Time - FaithDaria

A Dad By Any Other Name - bloodmagik

Sam Winchester x Reader:

While You Were Sleeping - Avrilando (Sam x OC)

With The Eyes of a Loving Man - Avrilando (Sequel to While You Were Sleeping)

It's Your Birthday - Lindsey D. Perez

If You Give a Moose a Muffin - Lindsey D. Perez

All of Me - ALoversDream

Could Have Told You That One, Winchester - BeccabooO1O

I'm sure there are many, many more, but here's a starter list for you of my favorite people! 💕

I have several more stories favorited on my FF.net account. (Beware if you try to read any of the stories I wrote there though. Some of those are old as hell and not to my current standard. 🤣)

#ask me stuff #fic recs #favorite SPN stories #favorite authors #favorite fanfics #lovely writers #support writers #love and support #zepskies recs #Dean Winchester #dean winchester x reader #Dean Winchester x you #sam winchester #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester x lisa braeden #spn #supernatural #zepskies answers

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osleeplessflowero · 1 month

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Oneshot Masterpost

A collection of my oneshots! Series gradually being updated. These links are specific to Tumblr, BUT I have also posted quite a few of these on my Ao3! I also have fics on there, which I will also be making a masterpost for + uploading the chapters to tumblr.

🏡Neighborhood Series🏡

A series of randomized oneshots that take place in the same universe, a timeline where the skeleton duos all live in their own houses in a singular neighborhood.

In order(with links attached):

🌠Stargazing (Classic Sans! First oneshot I wrote.)🔭

✨Back To You (Also Classic Sans, takes place a little bit after the former.)💤

🏍Stress Relief (Fell/Red! I need to write him again..)💢

📻Close (Blue/Reader) [I don't really like this one that much anymore but I'll keep it up for any that do]🎵

🏖Beach Day (Swap Bros!)🌊

🛍First Meeting (Fell Papyrus/Edge!)🐾

☕️Relax. (Fell Papyrus/Edge!)❄️

🪓Scare Actor!Horror🎃

A series mainly themed for Halloween where Reader has a chance encounter with Horror while going to a Haunted House with their partner. Takes place in a Post-Pacifist Horrortale timeline, so Horror goes by Sans.

Part 1: Scares and a Sudden Friendship🎃🪓

Part 2: Coffee Hangout☕

Part 3: New Experiences // Meeting Papyrus!🥄

📖Fairytale Series🪄

A series of miscellaneous fairytale-based scenarios featuring your favorite skeletons. Some may have connections to others!

🗡️Assassin!Red/Mage!Reader🪄

⚔️Knight!Blue/Reader🎶

👑King!Nightmare/Ruler!Reader(Start of a Bad Sanses series)💢

🌹King!Dream/Ruler!Reader (An alternate timeline to the former concept)🪄

🤠Cowboy!Stretch🐎

An AU where Stretch and Blue live on a ranch and work as cowboys. The other skeletons ARE present in other areas, but this mainly just focuses on Stretch and his growing relationship with Reader. Could be considered Farmtale inspired.

🥃Part 1: howdy.🍯

🐴Part 2: Going for a ride🏇

💚Nightmare/Multiverse Traveler!Reader✨

An endless game of Cat and Mouse, where Nightmare chases Reader across the Multiverse in order to finally be with them. Mutual pining, we love to see it!!

🎭Part 1: Chasing🌌

🌺Part 2: Blooms. (Angst)🥀

🖤Bad Sanses Shenanigans🔪

A collection of scenarios with everybody's favorite villains.

🎃Pumpkin Carving! (was originally a part of a now cancelled Halloween writing challenge series.)🔪

☃️Snow Day! (Christmas Special)🌨

🛌Sleepover!💕

🛝i'm here. (Dust Comfort)💜

🔪"Knife" To Meet'cha (Killer/Reader #1)🍻

🌹Falling For Ya (Killer/Reader #2(?) ) 🌃

🔒Cornered (Dust/Reader) (Kinda steamy)💜

🌌Alone With You (Dust/Reader)💕

AmalgaMATE

A scenario where Reader is an amalgamate of several different Reader souls, and is hopelessly in love with Science/Classic? Sans.

🧪Part 1: me and the amalgamate i pulled by being a punny guy 🔒

Standalone Oneshots

Oneshots that haven't been made into series yet/are intended to be by themselves.

☔️Chance Encounter (Dream/Reader)🚍

🎶Dream/Fem Reader (Requested)🌳

💌Messages + Confessions (Error/Reader)📄

🫧Into The Sea (Merman!Blue/Reader)🌊

☕Home (Cross/Reader)🏠 (Requested)

Star Sanses HQ Shenanigans(Star Sanses & Reader [Platonic]) (Requested)

Flirting With Death (Reaper/Immune!Reader) (Requested)

🎡Carnival Date (Classic!Papyrus/Reader) (Requested)🧣

😱Frightening New Friend (Horror!Papyrus & Reader)🎃 [Halloween Special]

🌊A Light In The Depths (Mer!Nightmare/Reader)🤿

My oneshot requests ARE OPEN if you would like to submit one, you can check out my rules post here! (You can send requests via Ask(Preferred) or here in the comments if you'd like.) Happy reading!

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 8 months

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Love and Lying Pt. 1

This will fill the "How bad is it?" space on my @jacklesversebingo card. The prompt will be bolded.

Summary: Will Y/N and Jensen love each other or live in lies?

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Angst - reader. Smut. Unprotected P in V sex. Fingering. Oral (f receiving). Jensen being kind of an asshole. Also being a hero, and a rockstar, and the sexiest mofo ever.

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Y/N

Word Count: 6,230

A/N: So, this is kind of a joint request from the lovely @candy-coated-misery0731, and @envyaurora95. They saw this picture of Jensen...

(x)

...and after chatting about it, decided to very kindly ask if I could write something smutty for it. So, I have. 😊

This was supposed to be a one shot, but it will be a short two part series instead. Sorry! It got away from me, and ended up with much more plot than I was originally planning on. 😄 I'm hoping to have Part 2 up on the 23rd. The second part will also cover a square in the jacklesverse bingo - "Rumors". Hope this first part, at least, was what you were hoping for, my lovlies!

Also, the Radio Company song "Ain't No Telling" features in the story, and if you haven't listened to it, click here to do so. Definitely worth it!

A/N 2: As always, of course this is a Jensen from another part of the Multiverse, who is single. This is an absolute work of fiction.

The beautiful dividers, both below and at the bottom were created by @saradika

January

“Hey baby! I’m sorry, I know I said seven, but…” Y/N heard Jensen’s voice booming from the living room in the five star hotel suite they were staying in for the week.

He walked into the bedroom with his phone in his hand. He was looking down at the screen and frowning; his voice was distracted.

“I was gonna text you, and then I was - “ He looked up from his phone to see Y/N sitting on the end of the bed. His smile started and then stopped as his eyes snagged on the two packed suitcases at her feet.

The room was suddenly silent, the noisy, ceaseless traffic sounds muted by their distance from the street thirty stories below them. Jensen closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket. He gave a brief nod to the suitcases.

“You’re packed and leaving.” He said, stating the obvious.

Y/N folded her hands in her lap, trying desperately to keep them from shaking. But her voice wavered as she responded. “Yes. Look, I think…I think it’s time we admit this isn’t working.”

Jensen’s face registered surprise. “Oh.” He said quietly. “Oh, you’re…you’re LEAVING - leaving. Like, for good, forever.”

Y/N felt his soft words pierce her heart. “I think…” she tried to get the words out past the lump in her throat. “I mean, you can’t tell me you think what we’re doing here is…you have to admit that this isn’t working.”

Jensen shook his head, the surprise fading from his face. In its place came the stubborn set of his chin, and the mask of nonchalance he wore when he was avoiding something. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t do that.” Y/N said, frustration seeping in. “Don’t act like I’m crazy, like I’m making things up.”

Jensen folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I can’t just pretend like I get it.”

Y/N gritted her teeth, frustrated at having to "explain" what they both knew. "I’ve hit a wall with you, Jensen, that I simply can’t get past. Can’t go over it, can’t go around it or through it. Ever since we’ve been together…this whole last year - ever since we decided to take our friendship to the next level, you’ve been keeping me at arms length. You don’t discuss things with me, not your worries or your wants. We don’t make decisions together, you won’t bring me into your life. We were so much closer when we were friends.”

She took a deep breath. “So, I think maybe we should go back to that.” She felt her stomach lurch as she made the suggestion. “Go back to being friends, I mean. I think you were happier that way.”

Jensen scoffed “Oh, was I?”

Y/N shrugged. “Weren’t you? You seemed to be. You talked to me about stuff then, seemed to value my opinion. Now, you just keep everything bottled up inside you. You don’t tell me anything, don’t share anything with me.”

Y/N stood up and walked to where Jensen was standing, anger radiating off of him. She laid her hand on his forearm. “Jensen.” She said softly, looking up into his face. He wouldn’t meet her eye. “Jensen, I love you.”

His jaw clenched and ticked, and she felt the muscles under her hand tense. She waited a moment and although she’d known she wouldn’t hear the words back - even though that had been her point in telling him one more time - the silence that greeted her still lit a burning ache in her chest.

She stepped back, but Jensen shot his hand out to grab her wrist and keep her close. His voice was angry and exasperated. “Y/N look, do you want me to lie? Do you want me to just say the words and not have them mean anything?”

Y/N couldn’t help the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “No.” She whispered. “Of course I don’t. I want them to mean everything to you. I want you to feel the truth of them in your soul.” She shrugged and pulled her wrist out of his grasp, pretending her heart wasn’t splintering. “But that’s sort of the point - you don’t feel them, don’t mean them.”

She breathed deeply through her nose. “And that’s why I have to go. I love you but…”

“No, that’s the fucking point, Y/N.” Jensen raged as she bent to pick up her baggage. “You love me, ‘but’. That’s the whole problem. You’ll only love me on your terms, on your timetable. You love me, but you’re just gonna walk away because I won’t play along the way you want me to.”

Jensen was breathing hard, shouting now. “You can’t just force me into whoever you want me to be, can’t just mold me and -”

“Jensen.” Y/N cut him off with a soft, gentle voice. She stood with her bags in hand and shook her head at him, sadness overwhelming her. “Jensen, I’m not her. I’m not trying to mold you into something you’re not. I’m not trying to change you - don’t wanna change you. But…”

Y/N took in another long, wavering breath and finished her earlier thought. “I love you, but I won’t be in love alone.” She shrugged. “It’s too lonely.”

She reached up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, but he pulled away from her, and his eyes burned holes into her, the bright green was beautiful, but as hard as jade. “Just go then. Don’t bother with the platitudes. Dunno why you even bothered to stick around for good-bye.”

He spun on his heel and slammed out of the suite. Y/N couldn’t help dropping her bags to the ground and sinking back down onto the foot of the bed. Her stomach plummeted in disappointment once again, and as tears fell steadily down her cheeks, she was able to finally admit to herself that she’d been desperately hoping that he’d tell her to stay. It was probably stupid, but she’d hoped the threat of losing her for good would make him open up and let her in.

But it hadn’t. He wanted her gone. He’d much rather lose her than love her. For a wild moment she contemplated staying, trying to love enough for the both of them. But she knew that was impossible. She contemplated spending another year like the last, always doubting, feeling like she was so close to reaching him, just to have him pull away - just to watch him fall back into his charming ways, all smiles and quick jokes, and no real connection.

It was impossible, and it would only make it that much harder to leave later. So, she picked up her bags and said another silent goodbye to the man who’d hold her heart forever.

“Be happy.” She whispered to the ghosts she left behind.

April

The bar was crowded and noisy; twenty years ago it would have been smoky too. The people inside were slightly rowdy, and ready for a good show.

Y/N felt slightly overdressed in her little black dress. A few women wore something similar, but most women were just in short skirts and tube tops. The vast majority of guys were in t-shirts and jeans.

She sighed. Yep, overdressed.

She perked up slightly as she approached the table her friends were sitting at and saw Briana stand up to hug her, with Kim close behind. Kim wore a fancy top and sleek, shiny pants, and Briana’s dress was tight and black as well. They both looked gorgeous and Y/N was glad that at least she fit in a bit more with her own group.

They were all here to watch Louden Swain perform their set, and Y/N was very excited. She loved the band so much; they were all such sweethearts, and she always had so much fun hanging out with the group. It had been too long.

As she gave both Kim and Briana a hug she was smiling wide, a smile that died quickly as she glanced towards the door and saw Jensen striding towards them.

“What the fuck?” Y/N whispered.

Briana looked over her shoulder and then turned back to stare worriedly at Y/N. “He’s…I mean, he’s probably just here to support the band, you know.”

As Briana finished talking, Jensen walked up to where Rob was standing beside the stage and pulled the smaller man into a tight hug. The two spoke close together, straining to hear each other over the music blaring from the loudspeakers. Finally Jensen pounded his friend on the back and turned towards the table Rob pointed at, where all his other friends were sitting.

He froze as he saw Y/N watching him over Briana’s shoulder. There was a very long pause where no one moved or said anything. It was finally Briana who broke it. She pushed Y/N towards Kim who scooted her over to the other end of the long table they sat at, while Briana walked briskly up to Jensen.

She gave him a warm hug and said something into his ear. Y/N figured she was probably telling him the same thing she told her. They were here to support the band, and that was all. The table was big, and the bar was incredibly noisy.

There would be no need for them to interact.

But Y/N’s night was effectively ruined. She smiled at everyone and bopped along with the band as they performed. But her mind simply wasn’t there, it was ten feet down the table where Jensen sat between Rich and a blonde woman she didn’t recognize.

Y/N tried not to stare, but she couldn’t help but notice that the woman was beautiful…and that she kept touching Jensen. She laughed uproariously at everything he said, and she just kept putting her hands on him - touching his bicep to get his attention, or putting both her hands on his while she was laughing, her head bent towards his.

Jensen seemed to be enjoying the company. He was talking with her and smiling, and he did nothing to discourage the touching.

As the band finished one song and were switching around some guitars for the next, Y/N leaned over to Briana.

“Who’s the woman beside…Jason?” She asked, swapping out Jensen’s name with Jason’s at the last minute. But Briana saw through that anyway and gave her a sympathetic look.

“I think her name is Tara. From what I know, she’s an old friend of Jason’s. But I’m not sure how they know each other. He’s brought her to a couple get togethers.” Briana shrugged. “She seems nice enough.”

Y/N nodded. “Oh. Cool.” She said quietly just as the band struck up the next song. She hadn’t thought her evening could get worse, and yet it had. And the worst was yet to come.

At the end of the song, Rob held a hand out towards their table. “I wanna give a big thanks to my cheering section over here.” The band clapped and the rest of the bar joined in.

Rob’s smile was huge as he pointed a finger at Jensen. “Now, I need a little more help, onstage this time, and if we all cheer really loudly, we may just guilt my good friend, Mr. Jensen Ackles into joining us on stage!”

Rob finished with a yell as the bar exploded into cheers. Jensen was waving his hands and shaking his head, but the people around him were pushing him, quite literally to get up on the stage. Tara was pushing the hardest, shoving on his broad shoulder and then clapping excitedly when he got up.

Y/N felt her stomach twist in knots. This was too much.

Finally Jensen was cajoled, and physically forced onto the stage. He was smiling, but Y/N could tell he was nervous by the way he rubbed his hands together and then shoved them in his pockets. He bent slightly as Rob reached up to yell in his ear. Jensen seemed to think something over and then shrugged and nodded.

Rob walked back to the microphone and lifted his hand and everyone quieted down to hear him. “Okay, so we always drag Jensen onstage to sing a song the band knows well, but we’ve all been practicing, and we really wanna do a Radio Company song with Jensen this time.”

Everyone clapped and cheered some more as Rob called out. “I’ll do my best to impersonate Steve.” He said with a laugh. “Okay, one of the songs we know well, and is primarily Jensen singing, is the song, ‘Ain’t No Telling’. And the man himself has agreed to sing it for us!”

There was more applauding as Jensen moved into position behind the lead microphone, and Rob moved into position a bit behind him, adjusting the mic stand there so that he could sing harmony. Mike started playing the soft piano that began the ballad, and the bar quieted down, ready to listen to Jensen’s angelic voice.

Y/N, however, was panicking slightly, sure she'd never be able to take this. But I can't possibly get up and run out of here now. She thought desperately. It would be so obvious and make me look pathetic and weak.

So she tried to brace herself, but still felt chills run down her spine as Jensen’s slightly raspy vocals filled the room.

Oh, the fact is Cold but true love Ain't no tellin' Who I am One day sweetness Next day laughter Followed by the anger Coming up from within Who are you holding onto now? Who are you holding onto now? When you need it And you know that I'm a little far away Ain't no tellin' no Where the hell I am Just believe in Every time When we feel it again Tell me, who are you holding onto now? Oh, who are you holding onto now?

Though Jensen didn’t look her direction during the entire song, she still felt like he was singing every line straight to her.

He was so achingly beautiful, and so painfully, effortlessly sexy, it made Y/N's body thrum with want.

His hair had grown a bit longer in the four months since she'd seen him last, and it suited him very well. The honey and cinnamon colored waves fell forward over his forehead as he looked down at the stage, throwing shadows across his face. His eyes were closed, but even from ten feet away she could see the way his eyelashes brushed the tops of his cheeks. His soft, silky looking beard did a beautiful job of perfectly framing his luscious mouth. Y/N tried not to moan aloud as she remembered the perfect slide of those lips across her skin.

Everything about him - his voice, his eyes, his lips, his hands - even his rolled up sleeves that showed off his muscular, freckled forearms - it all made her ache terribly.

The song's lyrics made Y/N’s heart race fast, and crack into a million pieces at the same time. She looked towards Tara, who was staring raptly and adoringly at Jensen, and swallowed harshly, throwing the song's question back at him.

Who are you holding onto now?

As the song slowed to its conclusion and the bar went crazy, shouting and cheering, Y/N put a hand on Briana’s forearm and shot her a quick smile. “Be right back.” She said, nodding towards the restrooms in the back of the bar. She hated Briana’s look of pity and understanding. Y/N wanted to be nonchalant and cool about everything, but the wounds of Jensen’s absence were too fresh.

She stayed in the bathroom for nearly ten minutes just willing herself not to cry. She couldn’t go back out there with puffy eyes, on top of everything else.

When she felt slightly less prone to bursting into tears, she washed her hands, took a deep breath, and faked a smile.

The men and women’s washrooms were both down a long hallway, with the women’s at the very end. Just as she walked out, there was a guy walking out of the men’s room and wiping his hands on his jeans. He was medium height, with brown hair that was slicked back, and watery blue eyes that were slightly bloodshot. He wore jeans and a dark blue work shirt with a patch embroidered on the chest that said his name was “Bert.”

He noticed Y/N and he smiled a greasy smile, the kind of smile guys wore when they hit on her, and were sure they were irresistible. Y/N gave a wan kind of smile in return, and tried to walk past him, but he moved to block the narrow hallway.

“What’s your rush, cutie? Stay and chat awhile.” He said with another too-toothy smile.

Y/N’s smile faded and she shook her head at him. “Sorry. Not a big fan of chatting outside a bathroom.” She moved to the side again to show she wanted to walk around him, but he didn’t budge, and if she wanted to get past, she’d have to get physical - something she was desperately hoping to avoid.

But Bert didn’t seem to like her smart alec answer, and his eyes got colder by a degree. “Well, we don’t have to stay here, beautiful. Let me buy you a drink, and then,” he stepped closer to her and she gagged slightly at the cloud of body spray that surrounded him, “then let me take you back to my place, and show you the best night you ever had.”

Y/N wasn’t sure what direction to take - play along so maybe he’d move, and she could take off when they were out of the hallway, or just tell him to go fuck himself. If she played along she ran the risk of making him really pissed when she took off after, but she also ran the risk of pissing him off immediately if she just told him to get lost.

Rather spontaneously, she simply decided she had no patience left in her for this asshole.

“Absolutely not.” She told him firmly. “I have no interest in your offer. Now, please get out of my way and let me out of this hallway.”

As though she hadn’t even spoken, he moved closer, pushing her back a step. “You’re gonna love it baby, I promise.”

Y/N felt her stomach clench in fear and was just getting ready to stomp on his toes, or knee him in the nuts, or both, when she heard a familiar voice speak from behind Bert.

“Stop crowding the lady, asshole, and let her pass.”

Y/N felt relief flow through her as she looked down the hallway and saw Jensen standing just inside the entrance.

Bert looked over his shoulder and lifted his chin in a dismissive gesture towards Jensen. “Nobody’s talkin’ to you, jackass. Just keep movin’.”

Jensen shook his head even though Bert was back to ogling Y/N, and wasn’t looking. “That’s not gonna happen. I’m only gonna warn you once.” He walked down the hall towards them. “Give it up, walk away, and your nose can stay unbroken.” Jensen issued the warning in a conversational tone.

Finally Bert turned around to face him properly. Jensen’s size seemed to make him hesitate for a moment. Jensen had a good three or four inches on him, as well as about thirty pounds of muscle. But Bert's bravado and ego got the better of him.

“Bring it on, fucker, I’ve dealt with guys like you before. Think you’re Mr. Hotshot, but your nothin’ special. I could take you in my sleep.”

Jensen stared at him, two dimples showing up just above his top lip as he scowled, annoyance etched into his features as though Bert was a particularly bothersome fly he couldn’t swat. He shook his head and reached past him, holding his hand out for Y/N to take. “Come on, sweetheart.”

Y/N reached for him instantly, but Bert made the very huge mistake of slapping her hand away from Jensen’s. Y/N gasped, more from shock than pain, but she was looking at Jensen and saw his expression turn from annoyed to enraged. In the blink of an eye, his right fist came up to slam into Bert's face; a sickening crack sounded as his nose shattered and he fell to the floor.

Jensen reached over Bert’s prone figure and offered his hand to Y/N once again. She took it and he helped her step over the loudly moaning man. They walked away and were just barely out of the hallway, when they heard Bert rising up and bellowing in fury. They turned around in time to see Bert whipping down the hallway towards where they were now standing in the back part of the bar.

Jensen had just enough time to push Y/N out of the way before Bert was tackling him into an empty table and chairs. The two men crashed through it, splintering the wood and falling into the debris. Bert got in one good punch before Jensen rolled him over and began pummeling his face and body. Half a dozen punches later, the bouncers showed up to pull them apart.

There was a lot of confusion and yelling, and Y/N just stood with her hands over her mouth, stunned speechless. Soon, all their friends were in the back with them trying to make sense of what had happened. Thankfully, they sorted it out pretty quickly. One of the bartenders had seen Bert tackle Jensen, so the smaller man was just tossed out of the bar with a warning not to come back, or police would be involved.

Eventually their friends began to filter back to the table, and the staff back to their jobs. But Tara stayed, cooing over Jensen’s purpling cheek and split bottom lip, coaxing him to come back to her hotel room so she could fix him up.

Y/N felt her stomach turn and her exhausted brain decided that she’d taken all she possibly could for one evening. She smiled at Jensen as he stood beside Tara while she ran her hands over his knuckles and tutted at their scrapes.

“Thank you.” She said simply. Her extreme gratitude for his rescue couldn’t really be summed up with two simple words, but that was all she could get out without bursting into tears.

“Course.” Jensen said stiffly. He looked like he had more to say, but Y/N just smiled again and ducked past them quickly, admitting to herself that she was definitely running away.

***

Hours later, Y/N was sitting slumped on her couch, still dressed in her little black dress, heels kicked off under her coffee table, and an almost empty glass of wine in her hand. It was her second one, and she was just beginning to feel the pleasant fuzziness at the edges of her consciousness, when she heard a sharp knock at her door.

Looking at her phone, she saw it was past one in the morning, and no one had texted her to say they were coming over. She sat up, but didn't move to the door until the knock came again.

She snuck up to the door quietly and peered out of the peephole. She let out a fairly loud squeal of surprise when she saw Jensen on the other side. She saw him look up at the door and knew he'd heard her. With no other choice if she wanted to try and maintain her “just fine” facade when it came to him, she turned the deadbolt and opened the door.

There was a full ten seconds of awkward silence as they stood just staring at each other. It may have only been seconds but it felt endless. Finally Y/N broke it.

“Hey.”

Jensen nodded and gave a fleeting smile. “Hey.”

Another awkward silence.

Then Jensen shook his head. “Sorry, I just…uh…you left pretty fast, and…and I just wanted to make sure you were good. You know, from the…just with everything.”

Y/N smiled back, her smile equally brief and unnatural. “Yeah, oh yeah.” She waved dismissively. “Yeah, he was mostly just a douche, you know.”

Jensen nodded, and a beat passed before Y/N frowned and asked, “How about you?” She pointed at his split lip and bruised cheek. “How bad is it?”

He lightly brushed his forefinger against his lip, rubbing the cut there, and then shrugged. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Guy punched like a…well, like a douchebag, I guess.” He smiled again and it was slightly closer to his real smile.

Y/N nodded and was desperately trying to figure out her next move when Jensen pointed around her into her apartment. “Uh, do you mind…can I…?”

Y/N panicked slightly at the idea of letting Jensen in, but she moved back and ushered him inside “Yeah, sure.” He closed the door behind him, and now they stood awkwardly inside her apartment instead of outside. Desperate to break the torturous silence, Y/N pointed toward her kitchen.

“Can I get you a drink, or something?”

But Jensen just shook his head. “N’ah, I’m good.”

So Y/N’s escape plan into the kitchen was thwarted. After a moment Jensen waved his hand around to indicate her apartment. “This is…new…nice.”

Y/N nodded, starting to feel like a bobblehead doll. “Yeah, I like it.” She frowned as a thought occurred to her. “How did you know where to find me?”

Jensen looked slightly guilty. “I bugged Briana til she told me.”

“Ah.” Y/N said. “That would do it.”

A spasm of a smile crossed Jensen’s face and then he opened his mouth and started to say something, but then quickly closed it. He looked a little wildly around the room as though he might find the words he sought, written on the walls.

Finally, he exhaled loudly and spun around towards the door. “K, well, I’m glad you’re good.” He said with another careless smile thrown back over his shoulder. “See ya.”

And just like that, he was gone again.

Y/N stood in the middle of her living room, completely at sea. “What the hell was that?” She whispered out loud to herself.

She stood in the same spot for almost five minutes trying to puzzle it out, before another sharp, loud knock came to the door. Without looking through the peephole this time, she just pulled the door open and wasn’t the least surprised this time to see Jensen standing on the other side.

Bewildered, yes. Surprised, no.

“Jensen,” she said with a confused shake of her head, “what on earth ar-”

She gasped as he cut her off by grabbing the back of her head in his big hand and pulling her into his embrace. His mouth crashed down on hers, the kiss desperate and slightly brutal. Y/N moaned deeply as he thrust his tongue past her lips to ravage her mouth, moving his two hands so that they gripped her cheeks and held her in place as he pillaged her tongue, sucking it into his mouth, and licking deeply into hers.

He shifted his lips on hers, and Y/N took the moment to try and come to her senses. She pushed at his forearms and wrenched her head away from him.

“What…” Her voice was completely breathless and high-pitched. She tried to lower it. “What the hell are you doing?”

She tried to step away from him, but he grabbed hold of her upper arms and held her there. “Please, Y/N, I just…fuck I miss you.”

Y/N shivered at the dark desire in his mossy green eyes and deep, rough voice, but she shook her head. “Jensen…we can’t just…” She floundered for words, trying desperately to remain sensible. This was madness!

“I know.” Jensen said, dropping his forehead to hers. “I know, and I know I’m an asshole for coming here, but…”

Y/N could see, close up, his jaw clenching and the muscle twitching there, and it made her lower belly clench.

“But,” Jensen continued, “when I saw you there tonight, in this sexy little black dress…jesus fuck.” He moved his hands from her arms to grip her waist, bunching up the soft, clingy material of her dress in his big fists. “All I wanted to do was rip it off you.”

Y/N was breathing heavily, as though she’d run a mile. A whine entered her voice, as she tried to plead with herself more than him. “We can’t do this…it’s not…” His lips just grazed hers, and his soft, minty breath drifted across them.

“Tell me to go.” He whispered roughly. “Say the word - I’ll go.”

They stayed frozen together like that for quite a few rapid heartbeats before Y/N finally shook her head, conceding defeat, and acknowledging she never had any hope of victory.

“No. Don’t.” She bit her lip and then looked deeply into his eyes for the first time in a long time. “Don’t go.”

Jensen slammed the door shut with his foot, and only then did Y/N realize it was still open. Jensen had been her only focus since he’d charged through it. He grabbed her head in his hands again and kissed her deeply, still rough and desperate. He walked her backwards until they hit her bookshelves, knocking down a few paperbacks.

Jensen pulled away from her mouth only to dip his head beneath her jaw. He nibbled at the extremely soft skin there, before running his tongue down her neck and across her shoulder, pulling the straps of her dress out of his way so he could bare her shoulder and suck bruises and leave teeth marks across her skin.

Y/N desperately shoved his black button up off of his shoulders and yanked his t-shirt over his head. Her hands were trembling, and it felt as though her entire body was shaking in anticipation. When she finally got her hands on his bare skin, she rubbed them down over his ribcage, and then up under his arms and around to his back. She dug her nails into the taut muscles there and Jensen growled out a moan.

Suddenly he pulled back from her and spun her around. She grabbed hold of the shelves in front of her as she felt Jensen’s hands grip the top of her dress. Without even attempting the zipper, he ripped it apart with a grunt, tearing the dress in half.

Y/N wanted to protest him ruining her dress, but she lost all coherent thought as he reached over her shoulder and shoved his hand down the front of her dress. His nimble fingers freed the front clasp of her bra quickly, and he wrapped his massive hand around her breast, squeezing her almost too hard. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and the puckered bud began to ache for more.

His mouth didn’t leave her body as he pressed her against the shelves. He trailed his lips down her neck and then down her back, pushing the two sides of her dress off of her completely. He pulled her bra off too, and tossed it aside. Left in only her black, silky thong, she heard Jensen moan deeply and then felt him step back from her slightly.

When she looked over her shoulder, she felt her slick begin to drip down her thighs at the look of ravenous need on Jensen’s face. She could see the way he bulged out his black jeans and she couldn’t restrain a whimper.

She turned towards him and then fell to her knees. She reached for his zipper, but Jensen grabbed her hands.

“No baby, I can’t. You touch me right now and I’m gonna explode.” He pulled her back to standing and then grabbed the backs of her thighs, lifting her so she could wrap her legs around his hips. “And I need to fuck you, need to sink so deep into you.”

He spoke deliciously into her ear as he carried her down her only hallway towards what he must have correctly assumed was her bedroom. He kissed her as he carried her to the bed. Then he leaned down to place her gently on the mattress. She let go of him long enough for him to shuck his jeans and underwear, her mouth watering at the delicious sight of his leaking, red-tipped cock.

Fuck he was beautiful.

He crawled onto the bed and then between her legs. She tried to wrap her legs around him again, but he easily pushed them open. He stared down at her pussy and his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

“Missed this pretty little pussy so much.” Jensen said as he laid his palm over her mound, fingers pointing towards her belly button, and then dipped his wide thumb into her folds to find her clit. The rough pad of his thumb circled it and soon had Y/N writhing, her hips bucking. Then he twisted his hand so that his thumb kept swirling around the hard little nub, but now his fingers could slide through her slick and then thrust deep and hard into her quivering body.

Y/N screamed as he pressed against her g-spot making her come instantly. Her body shook as he continued to fuck her slowly with his fingers before sinking onto his stomach and letting his tongue take over. He flicked it back and forth against her and made her nearly convulse with pleasure. She came again, on his tongue, gripping his long hair, and using it to keep his mouth pressed against her.

But he had no intention of moving any time soon, and kept her coming over and over. “Missed those sounds.” He said as Y/N shuddered and groaned and whimpered. “Say my name, darlin', I missed that too.”

Y/N grunted and then groaned as he slammed his three fingers into her particularly deep. “Fuck Jensen, oh fuck! Yes!”

He smiled against her dripping pussy and pressed his fingers against her g-spot again, ripping another blistering orgasm out of her. “Perfect.” He praised.

Her throat was raw from crying out her pleasure before Jensen finally moved up her body to lay over top of her. He pushed her messy hair away from her forehead and kissed her, featherlight, across her cheeks. He smiled softly at her now, as she looked up at him, her expression thoroughly blissed out and her eyes hazy.

“Missed your face like this. So beautiful, so completely open.” After a moment of watching Jensen watch her, Y/N’s mind cleared enough to register that his brow was crinkled in what looked like worry or fear. But before she could wonder about it for too long, he leaned down to press his lips ever so gently against hers.

As he kissed her, he easily slid his thick cock into her body. She clenched around him and he buried his face in her neck as he spoke, muffled, against her skin.

“And ungh, fuck! I missed this feeling. So tight and warm, so…so fucking perfect. Like…” He pulled out and slid back into her, moving incredibly slowly, savoring every inch. “Feels like - ungh!”

He growled as her cunt squeezed around him again, and he lost all ability to speak, becoming wild and a little brutal as he rutted into her, ramming harshly into her tight, wet, heat over and over, until he was lifting her of the bed with every thrust and Y/N was screaming and clawing his back, shoving her heels into his ass, pushing him deeper still. Finally, he exploded with a shout through gritted teeth, and as she climaxed one more time, she felt the familiar, warm feeling of his cum shooting deep inside her and filling her up.

They laid together, panting, for a long time. Everything felt surreal as Y/N began to float back to earth. It felt like she was in a very vivid dream. Eventually, Jensen rolled off of her and she moved onto her side so she could look at him. She opened her mouth to say something, to try and make sense of what had just happened between them, but Jensen put a finger to her lips and shook his head.

“Please, baby,” he said, exhaustion lacing his voice, “tomorrow, okay?”

He opened his arms, inviting Y/N to move into his embrace, and she did. She snuggled against him and pushed the questions out of her mind. Tomorrow would be soon enough to tackle some answers.

Yeah, tomorrow, she thought as she drifted off.

But when she woke in the morning, Jensen was gone.

No note, no text, no explanation. If it wasn’t for the bruises and bites he’d left on her skin, she might have thought he was just a dream in the night, just a figment of her imagination. But he'd been there, and now he was just gone, taking all of her answers and another slice of her heart along with him.

Part 2

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla

#jensen ackles rpf #request fic #jacklesversebingo23 #jensen x reader #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles angst

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evilwickedme · 5 months

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hey it’s me from the Batman posts! (the one that left the tags abt wanting to get into Batman but having no clue where to start)

If its not too much trouble, I’d love any advice on where to start with Batman or Batfam(?) stuff, I saw someone suggest reading the Batman: Wayne Family Adventures thing on webtoon as an intro to the characters so I’ve been doing that, but I’ve got no clue about any of the official comics or shows/movies/etc. I’ve never read a comic series before so everything is super new to me.

I know different series(?)/versions(?) can be wildly different bc of different writers and stuff, I definitely trust your taste on what would be good / enjoyable bc the posts you’ve been reblogging are like 90% of whats gotten me interested in the first place

Thank you, and absolutely no rush!!

Hey I am legit SO happy that you sent me this ask this is literally my favorite thing to do!!!!

So to start with I do actually agree that wfa is a good starting point but for a different reason than I feel most people would recommend it. The thing about wfa is that it has a consistent design for every character, is humorous, touches not only on the main batfamily members but also many extended members, other noteworthy people in Gotham, and the batfamily's cast of friends and teammates as well. This means that while its approach to characterization is incredibly fanon-y, it's a good basis for how to continue. You read wfa, and you know that Dick is the first robin, wears ridiculous costumes, was batman for a bit, is nightwing, part of the teen titans... this isn't a lot, but it's just enough to orient yourself before jumping into some of the most convoluted art ever created, aka the comic world.

Another tip I'm gonna give you is to let yourself be confused. I think the people who end up sticking with comics are people who are aware that if they pick up a comic it's very likely the writers and artists have read and worked on comics that you haven't read yet or even heard of, so you're always going to be missing something. That's fine. If something is really important to the plot, it gets explained; if it's not, it's windowdressing. Often there'll be little boxes saying what comic and issue they're referencing, so if you find it interesting you can just go read it - otherwise, if it's not there, you can google it, or go to any comic fan and ask "hey do you know what this is about?" and if they know, they will answer. There is nothing a comic fan wants more than to explain how to get into their favorite character/s, trust me.

Anyway this has been a very wordy intro but here are some potential starting points for the batfamily!

Bruce Wayne

You know who he is. Pick up an issue of Batman or Detective Comics and he's there. Pick up an issue of any other DC comic and there's like a 30% chance he's there too.

Batman: The Long Halloween

Noir style, investigative, early in batman's career, two face's origin story

It has a sequel-ish story called Batman: Dark Victory that's almost as good

Batman: Hush

Batman: Year One

Frankly there's not going to be much information in this comic you don't already know, but also, it's a classic, so might as well

Batman: A Death in the Family & Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying (crossover with the new teen titans)

First story is Jason's death, second is Tim's introduction and arguably the start of the batfamily being a family

Tim drags Dick back into the fray in ALPOD. It's just sort of the kind of thing he does

Do NOT confuse A Death in the Family with Death OF the Family, which is a much newer story, and Not Good

Batman: Under the Red Hood

Jason's villain arc! More details below

Batman himself isn't actually my favorite but you know he's got some decent stuff since he's, uh, the main character. DC doesn't have a multiverse the way Marvel does - and getting into that would be a whole separate ask - but their elseworlds are stories about the characters in different situations. Some ones I've heard good things about include Gotham by Gaslight, Dark Knights of Steel, Batman: Last Knight on Earth, and I keep meaning to get into Batman: White Knight, which is a whole other universe on its own. I've been trying to get into more modern batman stuff and unfortunately I just haven't clicked with anything.

Dick Grayson

Guy has been in a lot of things. If you read a random Batman comics from before 1980, there's a good chance he'll be there.

Teen Titans and The New Teen Titans and Titans (1980s-2000s)

I haven't read enough of these to say much of anything, but he's a founding member of the TT

Nightwing

His post-Robin superhero identity. At first only present in NTT and occasional Batman comics, but eventually he gets his own miniseries in the early 90s, followed by an ongoing. Recently-ish started reading them and they're angsty and very 90s in a lot of ways but I'm enjoying it

Modern Nightwing titles also exist. For sure.

Batman & Robin by Morrison

In one of DC's ten million crises, Bruce "dies", and after a short story called Battle for the Cowl, Dick ends up becoming Batman. Damian is his Robin. It's an interesting time for batman comics, although not necessarily the best writing that Dick has ever gotten.

Batman: The Dark Mirror

Also a great story for the Gordons. Bruce is back from the dead, but Dick is still Batman in Gotham. This was my first even Batman comic and it's really good.

Obviously there's other stories, such as Grayson, where he becomes a super spy for a bit. There's a million and a half reading lists for Dick out there as he's a massively popular character and he's one of the characters DC is pushing the most right now. As with all the rest of these, these are good entry points; from there I trust you to find your way

Barbara Gordon

The original Batgirl, sort of (nobody really brings up bette kane unless they're pointing out that babs wasn't the original Batgirl, she's just not important). She appears sporadically in silver and bronze age batman comics and detective comics, but she quits being Batgirl shortly before being raped and shot in the spine by the joker in Batman: the Killing Joke, which I purposefully did not put on my rec list.

Birds of Prey

Babs-as-Oracle at her best.

Batman: The Dark Mirror

Babs' long lost brother comes back to town. It's fucked up.

I've been reliably told to stay away from her Batgirl runs - most people who are a fan of the character don't like that they retconned Oracle away and it's mostly not very well written. There's a comic called batgirls that lasted about a year that included her, and it's okay.

Jason Todd (my beloved)

MY MAN

Batman: Second Chances

Collected edition of Jason as Robin, so much fun. Extremely silly at times since it's the 80s.

Batman: A Death in the Family

For obvious reasons.

Then he's just sort of dead for 17 years. He shows up in heaven in a Green Arrow issue and is occasionally brought up or shown as a hallucination, but that's about it.

Batman: Under the Red Hood

There's a new crime lord in town and he's so smart and talented and hot omg I wonder who he is!!!!

The collected edition also comes with the annual that reveals how he came back to life

Task Force Z

This shouldn't be as good as it is.

Jason gets recruited to work with a team of undead villains

Jason gets called a hot a bunch of times, and is shirtless a lot. This doesn't matter but you know, like, yeah it does.

For Robin!Jason there's also Batman: The Cult - which I finally got my hands on recently but haven't read yet. For Red Hood!Jason there's lots of stuff, but most of it isn't very good or is actively bad. Most people will tell you to stay away from Red Hood and the Outlaws, and they're right, although the 2016 run is better. Most people will tell you to read Batman & Red Hood: Cheer, and they're wrong, it's ass.

Tim Drake

Frankly this boy has no flops. Or very close to it.

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

Tim figured out who Batman and Robin are at AGE NINE. Respect.

After this he appears in various Batman and detective comics issues, I haven't read any of these.

Robin

The first Robin to get his own ongoing! Like with Nightwing, it started with a miniseries (a few of them, actually) and got turned into a long running series from there. Lasted like 200 issues, too.

Tim FUCKS.

Not Steph's first appearance, but most of her appearances pre-2009 are in this series.

Young Justice 1998

It's insane in all the best ways. Cars have sex on panel. They play baseball to save the world on an alien planet. A power of friendship speech prevents the end of the world. In the first issue, a woman develops breasts so big she falls on her face.

This team eventually breaks apart and Tim along with 3 other teen heroes nicknamed the core four (Superboy, Impulse, & Wonder Girl II) become part of Teen Titans 2003, which I haven't read and is also a bit of a flop era fashion wise for everyone anyway. I do have the volume of TT03 where they meet the versions of themselves from the future and I plan on reading that soon-ish.

In the mid 2000s basically everyone Tim loves dies. Steph died in 2004 ish after a very short stint as Robin. Tim's mom dies, then his dad is murdered, and it's unclear what happened to his step mom, but she was in Bludhaven, which had an atomic bomb dropped on it. Impulse becomes kid flash becomes the flash becomes murdered, and superboy gets killed while saving the world. Steph does turn out to not be dead after all and Impulse and Superboy come back from the dead eventually but by God he's having a tough year BEFORE Bruce "dies".

Red Robin 2009

After Bruce "dies" and Dick becomes Batman, Dick makes Damian his Robin and nobody believes Tim that Bruce is still alive, so he steals the Red Robin costume and goes on a mission to save his dad!

Not a comic to read first because it's so uncharacteristic of Tim as a person, but definitely something to read as soon as possible, because it's ridiculously good.

After flashpoint/n52 Tim doesn't have his own ongoing for a while, but he does come out as bisexual in an early issue of Batman Urban Legends (2021) and he got his own ongoing called Tim Drake: Robin in 2022 which was ugly AF and yet cancelled far too soon. There's a Young Justice run from 2019 I haven't read yet.

Stephanie Brown

For her I would go to Google, bc I haven't gone down the rabbithole enough for her yet. I know her first appearance was in a batman comic where she became spoiler to spoil her dad's plans - her dad being a third rate villain called the cluemaster - and she almost kills him, so good for her. Afterwards she appears every once in a while in various comics, most notably in Robin, where she and Tim as Robin start dating despite him knowing her identity but not the other way around.

Robin 60s (I don't remember the exact issues)

Steph gives birth and gives her baby up for adoption

Robin 126-128

Steph becomes Robin when Tim quits for his still-alive-but-not-for-long dad.

War Games

Steph does a fucky wucky and accidentally starts a gang war which gets her killed

There's another Robin arc where she comes back and it turns out she was never dead, Leslie (the family doctor) simply faked her death and sent her to Africa to recover

Batgirl 2009

Her first and only solo ongoing, but it's really good

She also appears a lot in Cass's Batgirl ongoings, and occasionally shows up in yj98. Her most recent series in Batgirls, which isn't very good but her interactions with Cass are very gay, and we've all been shipping it for 20 years at this point, so frankly it's long overdue. Unlikely to become canon tho, unfortunately.

Cassandra Cain

She doesn't use a lot of words, so neither will I. Probably.

No Man's Land

Frankly I am terrified to read this, it's so many goddamn issues, but this is her first appearance. I have one "volume" and it's as big as the fucking Bible.

Batgirl 2000

She's the first Batgirl to get an ongoing. The one from 2008 I've been reliably told isn't very good. She's absolutely terrifying in the 2000 one, I approve.

Outsiders 2016

Supposed to also be good for Duke content. I think at this point she's going by Orphan? Idk she's had a lot of names.

Idk I prefer Black Bat

Spirit World

Mini series that recently ended. Soooooo good. Alyssa Wong is a top contender for favorite modern writer.

She's mostly a background character. Bc DC is both sexist AND racist. She was also in batgirls.

Damian Wayne

Frankly he's my least favorite of the batkids, but that's not his fault, he's been a victim of a lot of really racist writing.

Batman: Son of the Demon

Somehow both his origin AND an elseworlds that doesn't count. Not required reading, but Bruce and Talia are madly in love in this.

Batman by Grant Morrison

After UTRH and before Dick was forced to become Batman Morrison reintroduced Talia's son, who in this version was a rape baby bc apparently brutalia weren't in love and Talia drugged Bruce. Fucking fine, I guess.

His character growth during his time as robin is sweet tho.

Robin 2021

His only solo ongoing, pretty good

Super Sons

He had two team up comics with then fellow child Jon Kent, son of superman, and it was fucking adorable. Then they aged up Jon to 17, so they're still friends, but Jon has his own shit going on.

Duke Thomas

He's REALLY new, and I haven't read any of it, I'm sorry.

Robin War

Batman and the Signal - I finally got my hands on the first issue of this last week!

The Outsiders 2016

Frankly they should capitalize on the Duke & Cass friendship/siblingship more often.

Alfred Pennyworth

I haven't read it, but there's a series called Pennyworth about his days as a spy for the crown. Supposed to be pretty good.

Kate Kane

The Jewish lesbian batwoman of our dreams

Batwoman: Elegy

Her introduction

Also, it's written by Greg Rucka, and if he can do one thing, it's write sapphic women. I'm not even joking.

Get the newer edition that has both of her original Rucka stories

Batwoman ongoings

She's had a couple, they're both supposed to be pretty solid, I've only read a few issues here and there

Batman in other media

Animated: I'm currently watching Batman the Animated Series for the first time and it seems to really get Bruce as a character, even if Robin will be there one episode and his existence will be a plot hole in the next. The Justice League animated series has also been fun so far. Teen Titans have gotten a number of animated adaptations all of which have pretty strong followings. There's an animated show called "Young Justice" which is a Teen Titans show and I refuse to watch it (it has a very devout following, but all that means is that the Young Justice - All Media Types tag on ao3 is just the same as Young Justice Cartoon and I have to filter heavily when looking for yj98 fics). Lego Batman is a REALLY fun film, and I think it turned into a whole franchise.

Live action TV: I have watched the first season of both Titans and Gotham, but both of those were before I was into the batfamily as a concept. My impression of Titans is overall negative and my impression of Gotham is overall positive.

Live action movies: There are so many Goddamn Batman movies. I like the Dark Knight Trilogy, but even calling it "based on" the Dark Knight comic trilogy is giving it a lil more credit than it deserves. The Batman 2022 is massively popular with the comic fandom for a reason - I'm not a big fan of it, but I did enjoy laughing at the movie so at least there's that. Batfleck sucks. I haven't seen anything else, up to and including the Joker movie. Oh, and Birds of Prey was really good, but that's not Cass.

Video games: The Arkham trilogy is well loved and I have indeed just bought it, but I haven't gotten to it because I'm currently working on Gotham Knights and uh. Okay so listen. This game is a lot of fun and I will be finishing it. But it's like. Got a massively antisemitic plot point. I can't even say I don't recommend it, I'm genuinely enjoying the game a lot. But I've never seen anybody bring this up, and it's bugging me.

ANYWAY I'm sure I've missed a LOT but this is introductory so you know I'm giving myself grace. There's characters I completely skipped and I'm sure mega fans of characters I haven't read much of will be offended that I said such and such about them but you know it's only been about a year and a half since I started reading dc comics and I'm still figuring it all out. And I probably will still be figuring it out for the next decade. To me that's actually part of the fun of it.

#batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #damian wayne #kate kane #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #batfam #dc #reading list #gail speaks #ask #fageles

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hothothotch · 11 months

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𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

since i'm getting lost between my own stories, i decided to organize them in a masterlist that will be fixed on my profile.

so, behold: the aaron hotchner x reader multiverse!

requests:

'Til I See You Again: Reader was a part of Aaron's first case, and they meet again after years. TW: they flirt.

Breaking Hearts: Set on S03E20/S04E01. Reader is a BAU Agent and is mistreated by Hotch on behalf of Kate Joyner. TW: angst, fluff, 5.3 k words.

Midnight Snacks: Aaron catches you and Jack having midnight snacks! TW: fluff.

Don't You Say You're in Love: Your and Aaron's daughter pretends she's not dating someone... until Aaron meets the guy. TW: Hotch being a Dad.

Friends In The Corner: When Jack is bullied for having pink polish on, Aaron decides to help boost his confidence... by doing the same. TW: Hotch being the cutest Dad in the world.

Courage: When your father discovers about your and Aaron's situationship, Aaron stands by you. TW: protective Aaron, swearing.

series:

(𝑰 𝑷𝒖𝒕 𝒂) 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝑶𝒏 𝒀𝒐𝒖 | 𝑨𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒓 (coming soon)

SUMMARY: in which a witch hoping to fulfill a promise ends up falling in love with the absolute man she wasn’t supposed to

PAIRING: beast! Aaron Hotchner x witch!Fem Reader

WARNINGS: story loosely based on Beauty and The Beast’s plot, but with a few (read: a lot) changes. Magic. Grief. I think that’s it.

LOVE IS ON THE RADIO! (coming soon)

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x Famous Fem! Reader

SUMMARY: it’s common knowledge that the closest Aaron Hotchner always got from listening songs was his old Beatles’ album that played on repeat in his car — that is, until you stumble over him during one of his workouts.

T/W: fluff in its purest form; reader is a singer; fluff again; talks about cases; a lot of McFly songs being mentioned for no apparent reasons; fluff; reader pretends to be a normal girl (but that obviously doesn’t work — oh look, another McFly song); fluff; potential angst; media harassment; fluff; age gap (reader is 30 and Aaron’s 41, but the age is not so important, so feel free to change it as you want); fluff.

𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 | 𝚊𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚗𝚎𝚛 (ongoing)

SUMMARY: after ten years dormant, The Boston Reaper attacks again in the dead of night, one day after Tom Shaunessy's — the officer to whom the case was initially given — passing. having inherited the case from Shaunessy (read: having stolen the case from the Boston PD), the only thing Aaron Hotchner wants is to get the killer and finally put an end to his history of endless murders. but when he unexpectedly bonds with a surviving victim, it's not only Aaron's desire to do the job that drives him but the urge to protect the only person that saw in him something he couldn't see anymore.

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Latin American Reader

TW: talks about stabbing (it's Foyet, after all); actual stabbing. Specific triggers written on the chapters.

𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓾𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵 | 𝓪𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓷 𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 (ongoing)

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem Reader

SUMMARY: aaron hotchner knows that when you’re not in a relationship with someone, it’s not unusual to see the person you’re smitten with (but won’t admit) falling in love again and again and again… for someone else. but when his feelings start to grow too much and become a bit too obvious, maybe he should start marveling the idea of making it known.

TW: fluff, a lot of fluff. comments about cases (possible spoilers). aaron being jealous, a lot. reader has a brief (like, one chapter) relationship with derek. cannon typical cm content. other warnings on its respective chapters :D

one-shots:

𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 | 𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒓

SUMMARY: you’ve been working as Jack Hotchner’s babysitter for the past two years, but as your wedding day gets closer and closer, you start questioning if you’re taking the right step — or if you should jump into the abyss of feelings you developed for you boss, Aaron Hotchner.

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x Female Babysitter Reader

TW: fluff, really, a lot of fluff. except for the beginning, that’s is pretty much angst (i think?). there’s a small suggestive comment towards the middle of it, but i don’t think it can be considered NSFW (let me know if it does).

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotchner requests

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waynes-multiverse · 2 months

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Multiverse News 🗞️🌌

It's been awhile since I've done this. Thought it'd be nice to give you guys an update/sneak peek of what I'm currently cooking on my WIP stove, though! 🤓

Besides working on Season 3 of Don't Blame Me and more Dirty Drabbles, I'm also writing these two babies 🤍👇

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Yup! It's the series following that steamy Dirty Drabble in the sheriff's office 😉 And lemme tell you, it got crazy angsty and dramatic in this one (and smutty)! You're in for a ride (as usual, let's be honest). Can't wait to share this one with y'all. A teaser with a sneak peek will be posted after Plastic Hearts is close to finished in about two weeks ⭐️

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Waitress!Reader

That's a fun one and part of my "fucked-up" reader series (if you've read Rehab and Plastic Hearts, you'll know what I mean). I wanted to play more with flawed characters in a fun way, so this series was born. It's set after 15x20 and Dean's becoming a firefighter in this one (finally!). It's all about our boy finding some happiness. And there's lots of pie 🥧😏❤️‍🔥

Here's a sneak peek below the cut:

“But hey, uhm, if you wanna get to know me better, you could always take me up on that dinner invitation.”

You giggled softly. “You never give up, do you?”

“Nope.” Dean smirked up at you.

“You just ate,” you pointed out.

“I can always eat more and leave room for dessert,” he retorted, green eyes brazenly wandering up and down your body. He wiggled his brows. “I’d even save you that morning run.”

You laughed loudly at that, throwing your head back. He laid it on thick this time. “Touché,” you admitted and almost caved, your knees suddenly feeling a lot more tottery than before. “But I can’t go out after nine o’clock.”

“Who’s mysterious now, huh?” Dean quipped. “What, you’ve got a curfew? Are you turning back into a pumpkin after dark?”

“Something like that.” You smirked and grabbed the plates, finally clearing his table. “Never checked my ankles, did you?”

As Dean’s eyes traveled down your naked leg below the apron, they landed on a little black box with a blinking red light strung around your left ankle like a bracelet. His lips pursed in realization, but he didn’t seem appalled. On the contrary, he was intrigued by it. You could tell by the twinkle in his eyes.

“Huh. Interesting…”

Want to be notified when I post something? Be sure to put yourself on a tag list here ⬇️

TAG LISTS

Which one are you most excited about? 🤓

#multiverse news #writing update #wips #sneak peek #dean winchester x reader #beau arlen x reader

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angelinasnotebooks · 7 months

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Hate that my form of hyperfixation is consuming and not creating.

I think I've been falling in love with ideas my whole life. I see colors and concepts and characters, and I want every part of the illusion to play around my body and immerse my mind and soul. I thought growing up I would be an artist. When that mentally shattered, I moved on to thinking I would become an author. Now, however, I don't know what or who I'll be. All I know is that my brain never stops coming up with ideas.

Yet, with all these ideas comes the possibility of creation. It's what I want, isn't it? I want to create these pictures and stories and share them with the world. So, why am I motionless in my pursuit to bring my mind to life? I have a library in my head. There's a girl in there. Her favorite color is blue. She doesn't know if life is worth living. I have an art museum there too. There's a portrait of a dying renegade, and a demon alter ego desiring joy. Then there's the realm of fandoms. The endless multiverse of continuations and alternatives.

There's a lot going on inside my brain and imagination. Chemicals I do not understand and signals I cannot control. An abundance of beauty only an individual can conjure with their subjectivity. With no outlet for these thoughts and images, I find it all to be too much at times. Wings heavy on my back and flightless under the pressure. The ability to soar is there, but the weight within is burdensome.

Every day I come up with something new. Some ideas are fresh while others are another line on the loom, but that is all they are. Thoughts. Ideas. Invisible whisps, webs, and wishes. It's as if the only part of my frontal lobe that works is that of imagination and complex thinking. I attempt short stories, painting, studying, chores, school projects, craft projects and I never get them done. Planning, time management, logical reasoning, and decision-making have all taken a backseat. I can't get any of them done, so I turn to what has already been done.

I rewatch a favorite show. I read another fanfic. I click on a YouTube video and another. I scroll Tumblr. I read character analysis. I try on the clothes in my closet. I add shit to my wish list. I post photos from two months ago on my Instagram. I relate to autistic ADHD tiktokers. I pretend Pinterest will help me get my life together. I think about the MCU. I watch another comfort, crime, haunted, mythical series. I visit my AO3 bookmarks. I doom scroll whatever app I can get my eyes on. I turn thirteen again and either spiral into a depressive state or become infatuated with the Hunger Games--again.

The point is, I can't force my brain to work on the original ideas. Sitting at a desk with supplies doesn't get my hands moving. I fall numb waiting for my body and mind to comply with my intentions. So, I end up here again. Hitting a heart button to let other people know that their commentary and hard work have reached me, and I liked it.

I don’t want all my ideas and universes to end where they are. I don’t want to minimize or invalidate my existence, or the experiences of others like me, by remaining artistically stagnant. I want my mind to be a visual tangible galaxy free to be roamed and explored. I want to have my heart in my hands, and I want to give it to every single person that I can. I want these thoughts, these precious ideas out of my head and into yours, dear reader. I don't want to consume; I want to create. If I'm going to go down the rabbit hole, I want to be the rabbit. The entrance maker. Not the lost girl I am right now.

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randomshyperson · 2 years

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Sweet Us - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: An accident with interdimensional portals takes you to a world where you are married to your best friend. For a certain black widow, it's a great opportunity to torment you. Or, the one where you have feelings for Wanda and sometimes you just need to visit the version of you who had the guts to tell her. | Requested

Warnings: (+18), a little bit of everything from angst, bad jokes and happy ending, some milf!wanda was well, friends to lovers, kissing, nudity, avengers being a family, some drinking, several references to comics and series inside jokes, emo wanda, mild angst, everyone is homosexual 'cause i said so, car sex in the end, strap on use, bottom!wanda, reader being a simp in every world | Words: 12.555k

A/N-> A friend from A03 asked me for this one and she had asked for a comedy and I put in several angst scenes for free. Anyway, I think it worked. Now I still have a fic from a very old request for Spider!Reader that I should post next week. Hope you like this one!

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--//--

Sweet Us - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

The Multiverse was at war.

It didn't start in your world, however. In fact, according to Stephen Strange, the supreme of your reality, the war wasn't actually even in its infancy. He just knew that things had gotten out of hand and that the Avengers would be a good help in keeping the dangers at bay.

Therefore, Tony and Vision created special teams to help the sorcerers - In Tony's words, a glitter cleaning team (No one was offended, everyone was sure it was jealousy since Iron Man couldn't do magic) and you were one of the names on the Black Widow team.

Obviously, Natasha was the leader. You, like her, were part of the Red Room in your childhood. The third was Yelena, and she didn't want to join the mission because Kate Bishop was coming back to the compound this weekend and she wanted to be a good friend.

You understood and said fine. Natasha was annoyed.

"It's her job, Y/N!" Complained the redhead for the hundredth time on the way to the Sanctum Sanctorum beside you. "If she doesn't help us to protect the universe, she can wave goodbye to movie nights with her girlfriend."

You sighed lightly. "But she hasn't seen Kate in months, Nat! It's normal to miss each other..."

"I don't even know why I'm trying to explain this to you." Natasha interrupted irritably, her hands busy reviewing ammunition (a Yelena task) while you drove the truck. "Of course, you understand well what Yelena is going through."

You frowned slightly. "What did you mean by that?"

But Nat only laughed dryly, ignoring your quibble and going back to check to see if the guns were loaded.

Usually, Stephen's missions were simple. Making sure the interdimensional cracks were closed in time and dealing with any kind of threat that might have escaped through them.

But as soon as you made the curve in the avenue, and you had to brake the car to avoid hitting the number of running pedestrians, you and Natasha knew it would be different than last time.

Natasha quickly slung a gun in your lap and opened the doors, and you wasted no time in running with her toward the confusion. Soon you could see the cosmic monstrosity that was happening there.

Right on top of the Sanctum Sanctorum, an extradimensional cathedral had opened. Stephen and some other magicians were floating around, trying to keep the creatures under control, and they seemed to be doing a good job. But extra weapons were always useful.

Exchanging a look with Natasha, you moved into the fray, and you had to put all your widow training into practice to stay away from the tentacled creatures advancing out of the colored cracks.

On a roll behind a car, your cell phone rang. You answered the call using the helmet of the uniform you and Natasha were wearing.

A small window became visible in your field of vision, and the image of a sleepy Wanda Maximoff with slightly tousled hair and scratching her eyes appeared and sped up your heart more than the surrounding monsters.

"Good morning Witchy, what can I do for you?" You asked in the gentlest tone you could manage, as your fingers worked to reload your gun. Explosions boomed behind you.

"dobroye utro, milaya ('morning sweetheart)..." She started with a yawn. "Y/N, have you seen my Imagine Dragons t-shirt? I can't find it anywhere and I was going to wear it to the show later."

"Yeah, it's in my closet-ouch!" A small exclamation of pain cut off your speech because some of the creatures threw an acid that corroded half the car and dripped onto your sleeve. Wanda was immediately alarmed.

"What was that, Y/N? Where are you...?"

"ARE YOU REALLY ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT?" Natasha shouted from across the street in indignation and thank god it was too far away for Wanda to hear. You grunted a little.

"We ended up in a conflict before we got to the sanctum, darling. No big deal, just a few more little magic monsters." You said, and Wanda's face grew even more worried.

"I'll dress up in a minute, I can help-"

"No, no, you're off duty." You interrupt her immediately, shaking your head and having to throw yourself to the side to keep a tentacle from holding you. "Wanda, go get some breakfast, and the blouse-Shit!" You hush to defend a blow, ducking and Wanda tries to look past the camera but to no avail. You return to the video breathless and with a helmet full of blood on the outside (Not that she can see). "Your blouse is at the top of my closet, wear it with that black skirt it will look great! I-I'll meet you and Pietro at the door of the show, okay? Seven-thirty. As we agreed."

Wanda hesitates, clearly worried about the muffled confusion around you. You soften your expression though you can feel a cut burning in your stomach.

"I'm fine, Wands. I'll come home, I promise."

You never lie to her, especially if it is a promise. So she smiles, swallows dryly the anticipation, and trusts you.

"I'll be waiting, dorogoya. Seven-thirty, don't be late." She says before hanging up.

But the fight seems to get worse after that. Or maybe it's the cut on your stomach, which slows you down.

Natasha steps back to give you cover, and for a moment, it looks like you are winning. You see Stephen controlling the largest of the Monsters, and the mages closing most of the cracks.

You turn to tell Natasha that you have landed more hits than she has, but the redhead is already running toward you to get you out of range of the car that one of the monsters has thrown in your direction.

You both roll a little on impact, but you're fine.

"You could have knocked me down a little more gently, Romanoff." You mutter to irritate her as you massage her shoulder. But Natasha is looking forward with wide eyes.

When you look and see the crack that you have passed through - and which was now closing in at high speed - you also widen your eyes.

You stand up to try to stop it, but it is already too late. The portal had already closed.

"Okay. Okay. Don't panic." You gasp with your hand on your stomach, looking to where the crack was, but where now there are only streets. And what was once a chaotic fight with a crowd fleeing monsters, has turned into a quiet boulevard with pedestrians looking strangely at the blood-covered uniforms you and Natasha were wearing.

"Let's try to be positive. Maybe we've gone to a nice world." You try but Natasha is drawing her pistol again, turning toward something behind you.

Black pickup trucks arrive at high speed and park, surrounding the area. Pedestrians run away and you swallow dryly, feeling a little dizzy. You can feel the cut dripping down your stomach as well.

"Let me do the talking." Natasha murmurs to you, as you watch masked agents step out of cars with rifles that are clearly far more advanced than anything you have in your world.

They all carried the Iron Legion symbol in a brooch on their chests, perhaps that's why Natasha lowered her gun to the ground and stepped forward with her hands in the air.

"We're not here for trouble." She tried, but one of the soldiers stepped forward.

"Identify yourselves outsiders." Demanded the male voice. You swallowed dryly as you noticed the iron hand that held a smaller type of iPad.

"I am Natasha-"

"Reason for the Journey, not names." Cut the serious man - Or you imagined the expression by the tone of his voice. Like everyone else, he wore an iron mask that covered much of his face. But the long hair and green eyes were familiar enough for you and Nat not to despair. She swallowed dryly.

"Bucky, we are travelers from another universe, we are not here to cause trouble." Natasha tried as she stepped forward, but the mention of the name only made everyone tense up. The soldier put down his iPad and drew his gun. Nat stopped walking.

"Reason for travel, I won't ask again!" He shouted demanding, and Natasha sighed slightly. She opened her mouth to reply, trying to decide how she was going to explain all of Strange's confusion when she heard a motorcycle noise. Bucky's variant let out an impatient grunt, but the vehicle was already parking next to the truckers, and someone got off.

"You're losing your touch, Barnes." Mocked the agent who got down, and before you could mutter to Natasha that it was a hell of an entrance, the woman was pulling a knife from her ankle and advancing on you two. Natasha wasted no time in reacting, of course, masterfully matching the blows.

"You're trespassing, illusionist." Said the soldier between one hit and another. You tried to help Natasha, but Bucky's variant attacked you and the metal arm kept you busy enough.

"It's not an illusion!" Natasha defended herself without stopping the fighting.

"It's not, heh? If you really are Natalia, tell me something only I would know." Demanded the woman, making the redhead laugh confusedly.

"I don't even know who you are." Justified the widow, and ended up getting hit in the legs that knocked her down.

"Wrong answer, evil clone." Retorted the other. Fortunately, you had trained enough with Bucky to know exactly how to defeat him and had just hit him when Natasha fell. You only had time to run and throw yourself against the agent to prevent your friend from getting hit in the face.

The wound on your stomach throbbed with the impact, and you squirmed on the ground, trying to get up beyond the pain because you heard the other soldier doing the same next to you. Natasha ran into a range to you, helping you up and taking a few steps back. You both raised your fists at the Soldier getting up, but Natasha hesitated when they took off her glasses that were scratched in the fall.

"You take the right and I'll take the left, okay?" You directed but Natasha was lowering her hands. You frowned in confusion. "Nat, by god, she's coming, what the hell are you doing?"

The soldier started walking, and you swallowed dryly. Nat didn't hesitate. "Take off your helmet, Y/N."

"Do you want her to hit me in the head? Or worse one of the soldiers?" You asked in desperation.

Natasha grunted impatiently, and when the soldier moved forward, she spun her body skillfully and used the same blow you never knew how to defend, effectively knocking the other woman to the ground.

"No matter the world, you never watch the knees, do you баламут (troublemaker)? Mocks the widow, pinning the soldier beneath her, a victorious smile on her face. You frown in indignation.

"I thought you only called me that..." You mutter in annoyance, and Natasha sighs impatiently.

"By God, Y/N! Hasn't it become obvious yet? Take off your helmet, and help me before they shoot us." She shouted, and despite your grimace, you capably obeyed.

As soon as your helmet came off, the soldiers hesitated and lowered their weapons. Bucky - who was getting up - widened his eyes and made no attempt to attack.

The woman trapped underneath Natasha stopped struggling.

"I'm going to take yours off now, okay?" Natasha asked the soldier, who stood still waiting.

As soon as the iron mask came off, and you saw your own face, you were completely speechless.

But only for half a second.

"Oh my God! It's me! I'm so cool! Did you see the way I arrive on the bike? Where did I learn to ride a motorcycle! And this leather jacket looks amazing on me! And see the way everybody put down their guns and let me fight alone? I'm like a super powerful leader, aren't I? My God this is so cool!

Natasha laughed incredulously, and got off your variant, helping you to stand while you looked around excitedly.

"Like I said, it's not an illusion." Said the widow. "We are from another world. It was an accident to end up here."

Your variant swallows dryly, exchanging a glance with Bucky - who is standing and sort of at a loss for words with you praising the improvements his mechanical arm has received in this world - before sighing lightly.

"I'll take them to the compound, Barnes. Take the team to take care of the breaches they've opened up in the north." Your variant directs, and Bucky seems quite content to evade your comments, gesturing for the team to follow him.

In record time, the pickup trucks and soldiers are gone, and you and Natasha stand facing the motorcycle.

"You can't fit three on a motorcycle..." You mutter softly, making your variant chuckle. She moves to take something off the dashboard of the vehicle, and you realize that it is one of the rings that Strange owns. And that might explain how cars get to places so quickly in this universe.

She opens a portal into the street, and you walk through to end up in the front yard of the Avengers Complex.

"Are you writing this stuff down, Romanoff? Strange could lend us those rings." You whisper to the widow beside you, who shakes her head, hiding a smile.

"Why did you bring us here?" Natasha asks your variant, who is dragging the shut-down motorcycle to the entrance.

"You need to give some statements, paperwork for multiversal travelers." She replies, parking the motorcycle before turning to you two again. "And well, the Legion of Ultron takes care of those matters."

You and Nat swallow dry, exchanging shocked looks. It is by following your variant that you realize that the Avengers' symbol is not on the door of the compound but the same as the Iron Legion's - or Ultron's - like the one on the brooch on their uniforms.

"Ultron worked out in this world then?" Natasha asks casually, and your variant lets out an impressed laugh.

"You guys know him?" She asked. You scratch the back of your head.

"Yeah, something like that." You mumble because you don't think it would be a good idea to say that he was a supervillain in your world and that you and Wanda destroyed his last body together.

It seemed like a good enough answer for your variant.

"The guy's a pain in the ass if you ask me." Retorted the variant. "But if you're fans, he stays in the Tower basically always, because he can work inside his own head. You can ask for an autograph before you leave."

Natasha giggles, muttering that it wasn't okay in the sense that she had no interest in asking the robot for autographs, but you barely heard it because you were impressed with the inside of this world's compound.

Everything was so clean and luxurious, and the painting of that legion of Ultron on the wall of the living room attracted your immediate attention. All the Avengers were there, and they were a few years older. The image of yourself smiling and with an arm around a redheaded Wanda made you interrupt the conversation.

"This girl. That you hug in the picture. Are you friends here?" You ask, and your variant raises a surprised eyebrow.

Natasha rolls her eyes. " Of course, you and Wanda are besties everywhere, Y/N, can we get back to adult business now?" Retorts the impatient widow having been interrupted in her questioning about going back to her own world, but your variant lets out a small laugh.

"It's all right, Natalia, in a new world I too would be curious to know where my wife is."

Your smile fades immediately, and Natasha's shock only lasts half a second.

"I beg your pardon?" She questions with a dry laugh. "Did you say wife? Are you married? You?"

Your variant laughs awkwardly, approaching the frame next to you. "Yes, for a few years actually." She starts by nodding to the picture. "That was taken in the first year of the legion, we called ourselves the Avengers back there. It was cool, but while I'm not much of a fan of the microwave, I have to admit that Ultron has improved everything. It's nice not to have any tragedies to avenge, you know?" You counter with a slightly nostalgic smile, lowering your hands and putting them in your pockets. "We had quieter years, I was able to start a family. Wanda and I got married just before we were promoted."

You had your mouth hanging open in shock. Natasha was biting back a smile, trying not to start laughing at your face.

"Wow, what a beautiful story." She commented with a slight tease that your variant didn't catch. "And were you guys friends or was it already a more direct thing with dating and sex in the compound?"

The variant gave a shy, confused laugh, evidently surprised at the straightforward curiosity. You grunted in shame, unable not to imagine the situation, and closed your eyes for a moment to control your own thoughts.

"Sorry, you and Wanda are not a couple in your universe?" Your variant asks tenderly, and Natasha giggles from your side as you try to control the red in your cheeks.

"N-no, we... um, no." You stammer.

"They're living a friends to lovers, I'd say." Natasha murmurs, and your variant gives a chuckle at the way you cross your arms in a sulk, your face burning like your ears.

Natasha seemed intent on continuing to torment you, but someone crosses the hallway and you roll your eyes at the sight of Peggy Carter in front of you. You only know her from Steve's pictures and the Shield paintings, and it is impactful to say the least to see her standing in front of you.

"Y/N, I just got the notification from Bucky." She says seriously, her gaze on you and Nat. "We don't bring travelers into the compound, but seeing them, I already understand the exception." Says Peggy, to which your variant just nods.

"Is Wanda back yet? Someone has to take care of the trial and T'Challa is in Wakanda until next week." Your variant said, but before Peggy could respond, Nat steps forward.

"Trial?" She asks indignantly, but her variant softens her expression.

"It's just what we call it, Natalia." She replies. "We have rules for interdimensional travel, all are administered by the Council. It's dangerous to mess with the multiverse, everything has to be well taken care of to avoid catastrophes. When two variants appear in the middle of New York, we need to know what they were doing here."

Natasha sighs slightly, deciding to trust. It was you, after all.

You, on the other hand, are trying to look at the shield Peggy carries on her back. She gives a little giggle when she notices, taking the item out to show you.

"So cool!" You comment excitedly, running your hand over the flag. "We have a Captain America on our world, his name is Sam Wilson, maybe you know him?"

"Oh, sure, he's our Captain America too." Peggy retorts with a smile. "He took over the shield after Steve Rogers. And I'm Captain Carter."

"Oh, that makes sense." You murmur nodding. "It's nice that you and Steve were able to stay together in this world."

Peggy frowns slightly, chuckling lightly. "Um, actually, Steve isn't...well, we were partners. In the war, before the ice. But now, well, he and Barnes got married in the fall." She tells you and you widen your eyes in surprise. "And I'm... um, I'm Margaret Carter Romanova now."

Natasha chokes in surprise, turning redder than her own hair. You can't hold back your giggle.

"You married Steve's ex-girlfriend? Sweet Jesus, Natalia, congratulations, really. I'll never let that one go." You teased and Nat grunted loudly, but the variants only chuckled lightly.

"There's time until the trial, and you guys could use a bath." Your variant spoke, clearly trying to dim the awkwardness of the conversation. "Come, I'll take you to, well, your rooms." Joked last.

You would have scoffed at the way Natasha tripped over her own feet as she passed Peggy - who muttered to her that she was very pretty in all universes - but you were too excited to see the rest of the compound.

Despite the different decorations - from pictures or coats of arms - in general it was quite similar to the one in your world. You found it funny that your room in that reality was on the other side of the tower, however.

"I imagine you know the showers trick." Asked your variant as she led you inside, and you laughed, nodding in agreement. "You can wear anything from the dresser, we're the same size after all. I'll see if I can get you guys something to eat. And I'll check if the operations with Bucky go smoothly. Make yourselves at home." Said your variant, before leaving the room.

Natasha turned her face and her gaze was full of mischief.

"So you actually want to marry Maximoff..."

"Choose your words well, Romanoff. You hooked up with your best friend's ex." You retort quickly and Nat chokes in shock. She closes her mouth with an irritated grumble and you giggle. "Let's get this over with soon, and you can torment me later."

"Oh, believe me, I'll torment you later." She retorts mockingly but is moving away toward the door. "And what can we do but wait? Strange is probably looking for us right now, which means we should take advantage of the time we have here."

"Nat, please stay out of trouble..."

"Or please, the баламут here is you." She retorts with a chuckle as she opens the door. "And I'm just curious what my life is like here. Come on, it's not every day we get to go to a different universe. If I were you, I'd go snoop around, maybe find out how you and Wanda ended up under a tree..."

You grunt in embarrassment, grabbing one of the pillows from the bed to throw at Natasha, but by the time you do, she is laughing her way out the door.

Sighing heavily, you decide that if Natasha is going to be looking around for trouble, someone of you should behave. For now, you need a bath.

Your room is evidently the largest in the world, especially the closet that your variant humbly calls a dresser.

You let your fingers run through the suits and uniforms until you reach a kind of dressing table, where you let out a soft sigh when you find a picture in the mirror.

Red hair suits Wanda. In the photo, she is sitting on your lap, while you kiss her cheek. You are both smiling, and what is most different from your world are the golden rings on your fingers.

You swallow dryly, returning the photo to its place and letting your attention fall to the fighting equipment your variant keeps there. The iron mask has its replacements in the top drawer, and you are curious to know how it feels.

Putting it on, you face your reflection. It's nice. You're considering telling Tony when you come back for a new design on your uniform when you hear footsteps approaching and a voice that makes you stumble with fright.

"lyubovʹ moya, ty tak dolgo (my love, you took so long)" Wanda comments as soon as she enters the closet and you swallow dry, ready to explain the whole story, but she walks over to you and hugs you tight and you can only sigh deeply. Once she looks at you again, she gives a little giggle at the mask, "I always forget how hot you look in this."

Oh.

Your cheeks blush, heavily, and you are grateful for the mask. Wanda kisses you on the neck and you almost become a complete mess. She doesn't seem to notice, pulling away and going back to saying something about the mission being over earlier than expected, and her looking for you, but you're trying to decide how you're going to explain everything and stop shaking.

All thoughts fade away when Wanda simply takes off her shirt.

Your breath catches, and you know that your face must be the same color as her hair. With trembling legs, you sit down in the closet chair, and Wanda - oblivious to all this - simply works to remove her bra and turns around with her torso exposed to you.

"[...] Anyway, that Bishop girl has been hanging around the house a lot, don't you think? I've asked America dozens of times, but she keeps evading the subject. Billy and Tommy refuse to tell on their sister, but I'm going to find out if they're dating." Wanda comments, but you're in shock, staring at her bare breasts without reaction. At your realization, she raises an eyebrow. "Malysha, are you listening to me?" She asks with some amusement, placing a hand on her waist and you gasp slightly.

"Jesus christ." You mumble affectedly, finally looking away and not risking looking up again. Wanda watches your reaction with amusement.

"All these years and you're still speechless at the sight of me without clothes..." She murmurs approaching and you are opening your mouth to start explaining, but Wanda is straddling your lap and you find that you have lost the ability to breathe. "If we were quick, we can have some fun before the appointment this afternoon. Do that thing I like with your tongue..." She teased softly, hips grinding against yours and taking away your ability to think properly.

"Wanda, god, I'm not-"

"Wow, that's something." Interrupted someone from the doorway and Wanda screamed. She stumbled away from you, covering her torso with one arm, a mixture of horror and confusion on her face. But your variant, arms crossed from the doorway, was laughing. "I can only remember when I said I dreamed I kissed another version of you and you made me sleep on the couch. Now, look how the tables have turned."

Wanda grunted indignantly, "Explain yourself, Y/N! Now!" She demanded, still in shock that she was seeing two versions of yourself. Your variant didn't stop smiling but uncrossed her arms.

You heard something about multiverse but the wound in your stomach throbbed painfully and everything started to go dark.

When you blinked again, you were lying in an infirmary. And Natasha beside you.

"Hey." You greet in a hoarse voice, and soon let out an exclamation of pain from the slap you got from Romanoff on the arm.

"Why the hell didn't you say you were hurt?" She questioned as you massaged the twinge and sat up in bed.

"I didn't think it was serious." You justified yourself feeling your whole body aching. "And the super serum has to be good for something."

"The serum doesn't make you immortal, Y/N! God, if I let you die in another world Wanda turns me into a frog." Grumbled the redhead making you chuckle lightly.

"She's not that kind of witch." You say, but Nat shakes her head.

"Oh, that's not what I heard." Says the redhead, nodding her head at the couple talking outside the room. Wanda and your variant are talking very close, and when they exchange intense smiles, and the variant takes Wanda's hand and kisses it before saying goodbye, you turn your blushing face away.

"What do you mean?" You ask Nat, who sighs a little.

"You blacked out for a few hours, Y/N. The trial is over."

"W-what?"

"Relax, it all worked out." Nat soothes you by forcing you back into a sitting position when you make mention of getting up. "They've had some bad experiences with travelers in this world, and now they keep things under control. They were waiting for you to wake up to send us back."

You absorb the information in shock, and before you can question further, Wanda is back. She opens the door and offers you such a tender smile that you suddenly feel very aware that you are only in a top because of the bandage they made on your belly.

"You're awake, dorogoya." She greeted, and you were too busy hiding your flushed face to notice Natasha's little smile beside you. "How are you feeling?"

"G-good." You murmured watching her approach the bed until she was close enough to touch your face. "Natalia already told you about the trial, I imagine."

"Mm-hmm." You merely replied, knowing that you would have no ability to formulate any answer with Wanda caressing your cheek like that.

She smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear before commenting, "God, you're so young. This is so odd."

You laugh shyly. "You don't look old."

That wasn't entirely true. Wanda was older than the one you knew, but that may be because you have all the traits of her face memorized, and your Wanda has no age wrinkles yet. Regardless, the version in front of you is absurdly gorgeous.

She chuckles a little. "You are sweet, but I am old enough to be a mother in this world." She murmurs as she pulls her hand away, you were going to complain about the lack, but she sits down beside you. "And indeed, I am."

You widen your eyes softly, but Natasha doesn't seem the least bit surprised, a little smile lingers on her face.

"Do you have children?" You ask curiously, and Wanda smiles, nodding in agreement. "Cool. They... are they ours?"

She bites her lip thoughtfully, and you imagine that there must be rules about what and how much to say about the multiverse. Wanda may have decided to ignore them all.

"Yes, they are ours." She replies, her hands moving to check the bandage on your belly. "America, not by blood, is our older. We adopted her when she was 6, she's the naughtiest girl I know. And then the twins came. William and Thomas. They are our biological children."

You give a lopsided laugh. "Is that, like, possible in this world?"

It's Wanda's turn to laugh, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"Oh, dorogoya, believe me, we figured that out." That's what she replies, and you'll accept it as enough because you've suddenly allowed yourself to think about the attempts and the heat that has surged in your body makes you embarrassed. Wanda realizes that everything is okay with the bandage, and sighs slightly. "If you are really feeling well, everything is ready for you two to go."

You swallow dryly, nodding and forcing a smile at Wanda.

"Hey, Wands." You call out to her before she can get up. "Sorry." That's what you say, surprising her. "F-for not saying I wasn't your wife. And for seeing your boobs."

"Wow, excuse me?" Natasha cuts in with a laugh that Wanda accompanies. You blush heavily, but Maximoff gestures slightly.

"It's okay, sweetie." Wanda assures you. "My wife also gets tongue-tied around me. It's a good reaction, I suppose."

"Well, you're super gorgeous, so it's not our fault." You mutter getting a shy chuckle from the other, but Natasha grunts softly.

"And you guys are super gay. I'm going to get something to eat before we go, Y/N." Annunciates the redhead before leaving the room, and you and Wanda exchange giggles as you were left alone.

Once the giggles cease, she reaches for your hand on the bed.

"Promise me you're okay?" She asks low, and you swallow dryly at the strong deja vu. Wanda is Wanda in all worlds.

"I'm fine, it was just a scratch. I promise." You assured her making her smile slightly. Next, you let your curiosity prevail. "Where did I go?"

Her smile didn't go off. "Home, of course." She says. "We work at the Tower, but our home is in Massachusetts." She tells surprising you.

"We live with the witches, huh?" you joke and it's Wanda's turn to be surprised.

She hesitates a bit, curiosity shining in her eyes as she draws patterns on her hand.

"Your Wanda...she's not a witch?"

You bite the inside of your cheek, half thoughtfully. "Well, technically, no? Her powers are super cool, and when she was with Hydra, she did some stuff with people's fears and everyone started calling her a witch. But she only does energy stuff and stopped with the mind control thing. The nickname little witch caught on, but she doesn't really do spells."

"But the powers, where did they come from?" She insists, and you shrug softly.

"From the mind stone, I guess." You reply. "That's what I know."

Wanda forces a smile, nodding and stopping her caresses on your hand. "I am a witch, Y/N. And I think your Wanda is too."

"Well, that's cool, I love magic and so does Wanda." You casually retort, getting a small giggle from the other.

"Malysha, listen to me carefully, okay?" She asks looking into your eyes. "I have met a few versions of myself in this extensive multiverse. None that have had their magic amplified by an Infinity Stone before. Your Wanda may be a special kind of us."

"Oh, like royalty?" You ask receiving a frown in return. A small smile forms on your lips. "I usually call her princess too. It would be nice to know I got another nickname right."

Wanda laughs softly, her eyes full of affection. "You really like her, don't you?"

You swallow dryly, evading the hidden meaning in her words. "S-She's my best friend."

The redhead doesn't seem to be impacted much by the correction. She smiles.

"If I'm right, Wanda will be the Scarlet Witch one day."

You blink in confusion. "I don't know what that means."

"And you don't need to know." She says, placing a hand on your face. "Not now. You're young, she is too, isn't she?" She asks and you nod quickly. Wanda smiles, "You have time. Enjoy that innocence now, that freedom. If she really is the Scarlet Witch, the power and responsibility don't come for free."

You frowned in concern, raising your hand to her forearm. "Wands, what are you talking about?"

But she smiles, shaking her head. "It's not my place to tell your story, dear." She says as she strokes her skin. "Please, just be there for her. She's going to need you. I always do."

You swallow dryly but force a smile. "I promise."

Wanda smiles, and you hold your breath as she approaches. She kisses your cheek, and you know you are blushing hard.

"Go get dressed, I'll make sure your Natasha didn't destroy something else." Declares Wanda as she walks away, and you frown in confusion.

"What did she destroy before?" you ask getting only a chuckle in return.

Many minutes later, you are wearing a completely clean uniform with a pouting Natasha Romanoff at your side. - She didn't like that the Legion of Ultron people wouldn't let her destroy another of the small statues of Vision (which in this world was Ultron) scattered around the compound. In her words 'microwave third wheel deserves no tribute'.

You were very pleased that some members of the Legion came to say goodbye to you.

Peggy even let you hold the shield before you left. And you were too busy talking to Wanda to notice the flirtations the captain threw at Nat only to see her blush.

"I think you would like to have this." Wanda said as she handed one of the masks to you, and got you to widen your eyes.

"She-I mean, I won't mind?" You ask, and Wanda giggles.

"It was my wife who asked me to deliver it." She explains, and you take the item from her hands. "I think she'd like to give it to you, but someone has to make sure Billy and Tommy do their homework. And part of her got the impression that you'd like to see me by your bedside when you wake up."

You blushed again, babbling embarrassedly, which only increased Wanda's smile.

"Thanks for the mask, witchy. Really." You murmur and she moves closer to hug you almost tight enough that your bruise hurts. No chance for you to complain, Wanda could keep her arms around you as long as she wanted.

"Sorry to break the moment, love birds, but I think we'd better go soon." Natasha said as she approached with her arms crossed, and her face half flushed. "Our friends must be worried."

Wanda waved goodbye as she let you go, and you smiled at her before joining Nat.

After the conversation, you weren't surprised that the return spell was done by Wanda, and you just arranged to wave goodbye to the Legion before entering the portal with Natasha.

The scenery of the compound was replaced by the interiors of the Sanctum Sanctorum, where Stephen Strange stumbled away from spell books toward you two.

"Romanoff! L/N! You are here!" He announced in amazement, but Natasha rolled her eyes.

"And we did it on our own, mister Supreme!" She scoffed.

"But it was Wanda who did the spell..." You muttered low, receiving an elbow from the widow who forgot you were injured and scrambled to help you stand when you howled in pain.

Stephen used his cape to float to you quickly.

"How long have we been gone?" Nat asked holding you as you squeezed the bruise gently.

"Long enough." Stephen replied. "I alerted your team, and was trying to find the spell to take to me and -"

But Stephen didn't even have to complete, because a female figure was crossing the hallway and as soon as she laid eyes on you, she let the teacup fall to the floor.

Pietro caught the item with a grimace, keeping the drink from spilling out, and Natasha released you just in time for Wanda to throw herself onto you.

"Hey, hey, I'm fine." You assured with a shy chuckle, feeling Wanda squeeze tighter. "I'm glad you found the t-shirt."

But she didn't laugh at your joke, sniffling against your chest and making you swallow dryly.

"I thought I lost you." She confesses with her face hidden against you. "I couldn't...I couldn't feel you anymore. Nowhere. Don't ever do that again. You scared me."

You stroke her back, swallowing dryly before saying, "Forgive me, I didn't mean to. I'm here now. I'm safe."

Wanda only releases you because you grunt softly from the pain of the bruise. "W-what happened?"

"We have a lot to discuss, Maximoff, you have no idea." It is Natasha who answers, and you force a tender smile at Wanda.

–//–

In the end, Natasha did most of the talking. She took care of the story, and because you were injured, you insisted on taking care of the mission reports for Stephen.

She politely ignored your request and delivered them while you were busy at dinner with Wanda.

Unfortunately, you missed the show. Your interdimensional trip lasted almost two days on this world. The avengers were racing against time to find you, and Stephen had spent many hours enduring light threats from an angry Wanda demanding that he find out where you were. Pietro, besides being a mandatory presence on the rescue team, thought it best to stay around so that Wanda didn't end up destroying the Sanctum.

Your injury was healing fast, and although you had told the team members a few hundred times about the universe you visited, you were doing a great job of hiding the fact that you were married in your other life to your best friend.

When Kate Bishop showed up in your room with tickets to the next Imagine Dragons concert, they came with an ultimatum.

"You have to tell her." She said, completely confusing you.

"What are you talking about, Hawkeye?" You questioned, but Kate crossed her arms.

You widened your eyes. "Who told you?"

Kate laughed. "Really, Y/N? Nat tells Clint and Yelena everything. And Clint is my mentor, and Lena is my girlfriend. And well, I tell everyone everything, so I guess the only person who doesn't know is Wanda, but if Pietro already knows..."

"God I need to sit down." You state with a nervous nausea in your stomach, sitting down on your bed as Kate sighs impatiently, and closes the door with her foot as she follows you inside.

"Man, what's the big deal, you know? You married her in another world, and you're obviously super into her in this one too."

"Kate!" You interrupt her with a red face. "It's not like that, okay!"

Kate rolls her eyes, with an incredulous laugh. "As if." She mutters, but you grunt.

"Look, I can't, okay? Wanda is...perfect. She's everything. Everything I have." You state looking at the floor, and Kate frowns in surprise. You swallow dryly. "I can't ruin us. She's the most important person I have, and I don't know what I would do if I ruined this..."

Kate sighs, coming closer and kneeling in front of you, one hand on your knee. "Y/N, it's normal to be afraid. I felt the same way with Yelena. But look on the bright side, you can already see that you guys work in another life, you can have a chance to be happy in this one too."

You smile sadly. "That world was different, Kate." You mutter. "There, a lot of things that went wrong here, worked in that life. What if in this world, Wanda and I are supposed to go wrong? That variant was incredible. Fearless and so cool. I am not that way. I panic about basically everything, and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. Those two knew who they were and that they wanted a family together. And I have no idea how to do that."

Kate swallows dryly, forcing a smile. "But you don't need to know that now, Y/N." She says gently. "We are so young. Maybe your variants were as lost as you are now, but they had the courage to stand by each other until they were ready. The question is whether you will too."

You swallow dryly, silently absorbing her words. Kate offers you a soft smile and moves her hands away to take two items from her blouse pocket.

"I heard you missed the last one, and I hate the band, but I kept getting tickets because of the last name, so I figured you'd make better use of this than me..." She says as she places the tickets in her lap. "A confession is a good way to end a concert."

You laugh with flushed cheeks, picking up the tickets so they don't fall off as you hug Kate.

"I would never have the courage for something so public, but thank you little Hawkeye." You murmur and she laughs softly, hugging you back.

Neither of you notices the teary-eyed girl behind the bedroom door.

–//–

When your wound had completely healed, you went to Wanda's room.

It was Tuesday and it had been two weeks since the trip to the multiverse. The subject, in theory, was no longer anything new for any Avenger to be interested in asking about.

That's why you were surprised Wanda brought up the topic again.

"I'm just curious." She justified herself as soon as she saw your expression. "It's weird, to think there are other versions of us living around."

You chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck as you settled into Wanda's bed. It was a common image - Since you joined the team, your intimacy was very strong. And her room was practically yours. So she was at this very moment trying to decide what outfit she was going to wear to the Imagine Dragons concert, and both pieces in her hands were yours.

"You're right, witchy, but I already told the whole story." You lay with your head resting on your arm, as Wanda put the shirt over her body in front of the mirror. She hums, clearly not believing you and you frown.

Wanda never acts like that with you. But to be fair, you didn't usually lie to her either.

"What does ‘hum’ supposed to mean?" You question, but Wanda sighs wearily, scarlet magic keeping the garments in the air as she pulls her shirt up.

Your face burns and you look up at the ceiling immediately. Wanda notices you through the mirror, and has trouble hiding her little smile.

"It doesn't mean anything, just that I was listening." She mutters in clarification, and it's your turn to mutter back, not trusting your words when the image of Wanda in a bra is still so fresh in your mind. "Hey, Y/N?" She calls out after a moment, and you hum to say you're listening. "How come, if we're such good friends, we never change in front of each other?"

Your brain short-circuits. You open your mouth and close it dozens of times, but can't think of anything.

"Is it a cultural thing? I thought Americans were more casual about such things..." Wanda continues, and you are sure it is meant to torment you.

"I don't know, Wands. Jesus." You mumble in embarrassment, stumbling out of bed and thanking the heavens that Wanda is already in her t-shirt. "It just never happened. You, um, want to change in front of me?"

She gives a naughty little laugh, raising an eyebrow.

"Humm, Malysha, take me to dinner first." She mocks, turning back to look in the mirror, and you snort indignantly.

You walk dragging your foot out of the room, muttering that Wanda is playing games with you and misses the way she is blushing too.

Wanda won't find you again until dinner, and you are grateful for the hot food with which you can justify the redness of your face at having her approach you and kiss your cheek.

"What are we having today?" she asks, too close, a hand on your arm as she leans over to look at the pans on the stove.

It has to be on purpose. Wanda has always been affectionate, but this here has to be a test to see if you'd have a heart attack before dinner or something.

"S-since it's Lena's birthday and we're going to be at the show, and she doesn't want a party, I thought I'd do something traditionally Ukrainian..." You start to explain trying not to sound so affected by the closeness and begging to the heavens that Wanda doesn't notice how much you are trembling. "There are some Nalesniki, which are cheese crepes, in the oven and the cured pork, Salo, is going to be the main course-"

"Is that Banush? Oh, dorogaya, kak zabotlivo s tvoyey storony (darling, how thoughtful of you)" Wanda cuts in excitedly as she looks at the food, and you smile immediately at her happiness.

"Yeah, I've been trying to get the point of this one right." You count as Wanda stretches out her hand to taste the food. "And Nat and Steve went to the market to get the missing peanut butter for the Kiev Cake."

Wanda smiles, having gotten her entire finger dirty from the meringue that was going on the cake. She brings it to her lips, sucking it clean while staring at you before releasing it with a soft pop.

"Delicious." She praises but you're not even listening properly, the blood pulsing in your face at the sinful image. You feel an intense attraction, and lean in at the same time as Wanda and her dark eyes, but just as your noses brush against each other, loud avengers enter the kitchen.

You immediately pull away, Wanda biting her lips and you clearing your throat.

"Here's what you ordered, баламут." Natasha announces as she places the market bags on the counter. But as soon as she notices the tension between you and Wanda, she raises an eyebrow. "Are we interrupting? I can retrace my steps..."

"Shut up, Nat." You interrupt in an embarrassed grunt, wasting no time in grabbing the missing ingredient from the bag while Natasha giggles a few times.

Wanda follows the cue of Kate and Yelena walking in chatting loudly and leaves the kitchen behind them, barely listening to Steve's apology - busy with bags - who bumps into her as he closes the door.

Even if Yelena doesn't want a party, this feels like one. And you even baked a cake.

As soon as the food is served, the Avengers spread out around in various conversation wheels. Pietro kept changing the music every five minutes, but Wanda was too busy stealing glances at you talking to Clint across the room to bother.

"So Maximoff, how's it going?" It was Yelena, with a plate of cake in hand. Wanda sighed loudly.

"Not well."

Yelena grimaced. "What? Are you sure you are doing as I said?"

Wanda sighed again. "Yes, Lena, I'm sure. But maybe that's my mistake, you know?" Retorted the upset brunette, returning the soda glass to the table and crossing her arms. "Your tips worked for you and Kate. I'm not like you, and Y/N is not Kate. I did what you told me to, I even tried the t-shirt trick but she just ran out of the room!"

Yelena made a thoughtful face, chewing the cake. "Are you sure you did it right? When I did the T-shirt trick, Kate melted down and ended up confessing that she liked my tits."

"First, gross. Second, too much information. Third, I'm exhausted." Wanda confesses with a grunt, pushing her hair back. "I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since I heard her confession, I've just been waiting for her to make a move, but she just... I guess I should just accept that she's decided I'm not worth it."

Yelena shakes her head indignantly, pushing her plate on the table and placing her hands on Wanda's shoulders.

"First of all, I don't allow that kind of blue humor on my birthday." Yelena informs with a mixture of serious and playful tone, offering the brunette a tender smile. "Second, you are so close, Maximoff. You can't give up now. You have to play dirty."

"Play dirty?" Wanda asked in confusion, to which Yelena merely nodded, leaning in to whisper something in the brunette's ear that made her eyes widen. "Belova!"

The blonde laughed softly as she turned away. "It'll work, I guarantee it. It worked for Kate."

Wanda grimaced. "Too much information!" She complained walking away, but Yelena laughed, shaking her head and deciding to go look for her girlfriend.

Wanda had two seconds of peace as she poured herself some non-alcoholic punch before Natasha appeared in the kitchen.

"Lovely party, eh Maximilf?" She began, and Wanda gave a confused giggle at the nickname. "Oh, I forgot. Not a Milf yet."

"What...?"

"Hey, can I talk to you?" You came in suddenly, cutting off Natasha's question. Wanda didn't understand why you looked so uneasy - You had been talking to the redhead two minutes ago. She knew because she watched you all night.

"I'm busy, Y/N, talking to your wif-"

"Natasha." You cut her off almost pleadingly and the redhead sighs impatiently, and unlike Wanda, ignores your question and bends down on the counter only to grab a bottle of whiskey.

"You know what we should play? Have I ever never." Declares the redhead and turns to the kitchen with a huge smile. "Avengers! Everyone is going to play!"

You are visibly annoyed by the whole thing, but when Wanda approaches and goes to ask if everything is okay while the rest of the team starts getting organized to play, you force a smile.

"Nat had a bit to drink, and I didn't want her to talk more than she should. Maybe it would be better if I didn't join-"

"баламут! Don't even try to run away from the game! You're going to be the first!" Shouted the redhead from the room and you sighed loudly. Wanda giggled, moving even closer and holding your hand.

"I could charm them into forgetting about the game. If it's making you uncomfortable."

You blinked impressed. "Would you mess with their minds for me?" You ask in a low voice, and Wanda nods, looking at your mouth. "What a naughty witch."

Heat spreads quickly through her chest, and Wanda bites her lip to hold back the sound that wants to escape her throat. She is about to kiss you in front of everyone when the team whistles and the moment is broken immediately.

You approach the circle, and because everyone has already sat down, Wanda has only one vacant seat on the other side of the room. She doesn't complain because at least she can breathe properly without you next to her.

"Now that we are all seated, you start Y/N." Natasha declares with a mischievous smile on her lips, her hands busy pouring whiskey into the glass that Pietro uses speed to place in each person's hand.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair.

"Never have I ever gotten drunk playing these games." You mutter getting a few laughs. Natasha and Tony exchange impatient buffos at being the only ones drinking.

"Very funny, kindergarten. Now allow the adults to play. Romanoff, would you like to do the honors?" Tony asks, but Natasha shakes her head, settling further into the couch.

"I'll give mine some thought." She retorts mysteriously, and since Tony doesn't insist, no one else does. Only Wanda notices the way you swallow dryly and squeeze your glass hard.

"Never have I ever been turned down." Tony declares arrogantly but the whole team booes in disbelief. Natasha laughs out loud.

"As far as I can remember, Stark, I did that about four times in my first week of the industries alone..." Affirms Romanoff and this is the first time you see Tony effectively blush with embarrassment. He takes it in stride, rolling his eyes and taking a long swig from his glass.

You don't drink, and somehow, everyone notices.

"Really, L/N?" Kate asks genuinely curious. You laugh sheepishly.

"You can't be rejected if you've never confessed." You retort and the team laughs in understanding, but Wanda realizes your smile is forced.

"Okay, okay, now it's my turn." Pietro cuts in raising his glass in the air. "Never have I ever made out with someone of the same sex. And yes, everyone here but me is going to drink." He sneers, at the rest of the team who laugh and exchange curious glances.

Steve clears his throat and settles into his seat to ask for his turn.

"Never Have I Ever... Googled sex positions."

The room burst into laughter. Tony was so red from laughing that he almost fell over backward. It was the whiskey's fault, probably.

"Jesus, Steve, this isn't a confectionary! You must say things you didn't do." Pietro clarified and Steve became a complete tomato, muttering that he had got the game wrong. Thank god everyone was starting to get drunk enough not to care.

Sam, as soon as he stopped laughing, raised his glass. "How about we make things more awkward for the originals? Never have I ever slept with a co-worker."

The original Avengers let out embarrassing grunts, and all of them drink.

"Wow, now I need to know who with who." Yelena declared but Natasha laughed.

"That's not the game." Retorted the redhead and didn't flinch even when Lena used the birthday card.

But the light and fun mood were about to end, because as soon as Thor said "Never have I ever been unfaithful." and was taunted that it was hard to believe that the god of fertility was faithful, Natasha stood up.

"Never have I ever... been in love with my best friend."

The question hung in the air lightly for a few minutes. Most of the team thought it was funny, Kate, Yelena, Steve, and Bucky drank. But you remained static in your seat, feeling Natasha's gaze burn into you.

"Honest answers only, people." Insisted the widow, and soon everyone noticed that she was looking at you.

Clint noticed the way Wanda squirmed in her seat, lowering her gaze to her own lap, so he cleared his throat.

"Come on, Nat, maybe you should change the question, that's a pretty personal one."

Nat forced a laugh. "I have a better one then; Never have I ever married my best friend in another world."

You cringed, closing your eyes but Wanda raised her head.

Your reaction was answer enough, but she questioned anyway.

"What are you talking about, Nat?"

The widow put a hand to her chest with false innocence in her expression. "What? You haven't heard? What a strange thing! Y/N must have been busy telling Steve about Peggy to remember, I imagine."

Steve sighed loudly from the couch. "Natasha, I said it was okay..."

"For you!" She interrupted indignantly. "I told her not to tell! It was my secret!"

He sighs again, the room silent and shocked listening to them argue. "What difference does it make, Peggy is gone."

"Exactly." Natasha retorts with tears in her eyes. "I have this perfect wife who makes me happy and loves this complete mess that I am in that world, but here, I have nothing. Peggy is gone, she never even met me. And she was my best friend's ex-girlfriend, so excuse me if I wanted that to be my secret. But now it doesn't matter anymore, because everyone knows!" Natasha exclaimed with open arms, and when she went to get down from the table, she stumbled softly, and Wanda understood that the bottle of whiskey was not to be the first of the evening. "And you know what the funniest part is? It's that Y/N only did that because she's scared! She has something incredible, the chance to be with the one she loves the most, and she's afraid!"

You feel your eyes fill with tears, and you are standing like half the team, who stood up when Nat stumbled. The widow, who now looks on the verge of tears as well, moves closer to place her hands on your cheeks.

"I just want you to be happy, you stubborn, idiotic girl!" she says indignantly and drunkenly. "And I need your first daughter to be named Natalia, too."

The group giggled emotionally, and you nodded in agreement, putting a hand around Nat.

"Come, Romanoff, what you need is some water and a night's sleep."

As you lead Nat away, the game ends and the Avengers scatter back with a few murmurs about the scene but no one is too upset about anything, and Yelena says she will check on her sister.

Wanda approaches Steve and Clint once they are alone.

"You two are the closest to Nat, so I want to know what this whole otherworldly marriage thing is all about." Demands the witch and the two exchange sighs.

"Natasha has spent the last few weeks stressing about it." Clint began. "Apparently, she met a version of Y/N who was married to you."

"What?" Wanda exclaimed in shock, a warm thread of hope sprouting in her chest.

"Yeah, happy family with kids and everything." Steve completed the story. "She made several jokes, heckled Y/N with that story for days trying to get her to confess the whole thing to you. But in the end... well, you saw. Y/N told me that Nat's variant was Peggy's wife, so that was the end of the matter, and well, they got so tense that no one else had the nerve to ask about it anyway."

Wanda twists her fingers nervously. "B-but, do you guys think she didn't want to talk about it because she hated the idea?"

Steve and Clint frown. "What? No, Wanda, that's not it." The captain says, with Barton nodding immediately.

"I think maybe she loved the idea, actually." Clint says with a laugh. "But you know, you're all what, twenty, twenty-two years old. You're young as hell. If at that age, a version of me showed up saying I'm going to get married and have kids, I'd freak out too. Even today I have my doubts about paternity. It couldn't have been easy for Y/N, you know? I'd be scared to mess it up too."

Steve nods in agreement. "Especially with someone who is already important." He says. "If you didn't know each other, she might get anxious about a date or something. But, you two are so close. And I can tell you from experience that the fear of messing up and losing someone important like that is pretty strong." Steve said, his gaze going to Bucky across the room to exemplify.

Wanda swallows dryly. "B-but I like her." She confesses low, and it's no surprise to the Avengers next to her, who smiles. "I really like her."

"You should say that to her, not to us." Clint says gently, and Wanda sniffles low, but smiles, nodding.

She takes a heavy breath and decides that this thing has gone on too long already.

–//–

Natasha fell asleep just as you and Yelena threw the blanket over her, exchanging giggles at seeing her sleeping expression.

"Hey, Belova, the birthday girl has to stick around at the party." You try as you watch her sit down, but she holds up a finger in warning.

"I told you I didn't want a party." She accuses in a fake serious tone, making you laugh guiltily. "I'm tired, Y/N. I'll text Kate to come to sleep with me, and the rest of the team can keep having fun."

"As you wish, birthday girl." You mumble but when you go to walk away, she holds your forearm.

"Thank you." She says. "For taking care of my sister."

You smile. "Usually, it's always the other way around. It doesn't hurt to return the favor once in a while." You say, getting a smile from her. "Hey, Lena, that Peggy story, I really didn't mean-"

"Don't worry." She interrupts gently. "I'm not mad, it was just a disagreement between you and Nat. Friends fight sometimes. You can apologize to her when she wakes up. Now you should talk to another Avenger."

You swallow dryly, looking away. Yelena expects you to make up an excuse, but you sigh. "Yeah, you're right. Wish me luck?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be lucky tonight." She retorts to which you only laugh without understanding the malice in her tone of voice.

You leave the room and decide to go look for Wanda at the party, but when you return to the living room she is no longer there. Sighing in defeat, you make your way back to the elevator and toward your bedroom.

You are quite surprised to find Wanda inside.

"Hey, Wands, I didn't know you were up here." You greet as you take off your jacket, and the brunette meets your gaze just for a moment, her attention on the mask on your shelf.

"This is new. Did Yelena make it for you?" she asks about the item, running her fingers over the details. You swallow dryly, throwing the jacket on the floor and sitting down on the bed to remove your shoes.

"No, it's not from around here." You reply, clearing your throat softly. "You gave it to me."

She frowns in confusion, turning her face to you only to understand immediately when she meets your gaze. "Oh. The other me."

"Yeah." You gasp softly. "The Wife one."

Wanda looks away to the side, leaning gently on the shelf because she thinks her knees are weak.

"So that's actually true." She mumbles trying to sound casual, and you think your tie is too tight. To blame Kate and her small suits, you are sure.

"Yes, I was surprised, but it's not like it's completely out of the question, right?" you retort so naturally that Wanda's eyes widen slightly. Panic settles in your chest. "I-I meant that friends get married all the time! A-and of all the people on the team, if I were to marry someone it would make sense that it would be you, I mean, not that I'm thinking of marrying you, but if given the choice and based on our intimacy..."

Wanda cuts off your anxious babbling with a giggle. "Detka, you're hanging yourself." She comments nodding to the tie that you took off in an all-crooked manner, and was in an even tighter knot around your neck.

She moved closer, her hands working leisurely on the item even though you both knew she could use magic to pull it off.

"You really... don't think it's so impossible for us to be together?" Wanda questions the next moment, her voice husky and affected, and you raise your eyes to her immediately.

She looks absurdly beautiful. And you sigh, biting your tongue to keep from letting that slip out instead of the answer.

She uses your silence to finish the knot, and when the tie falls loosely around her neck, she makes mention of pulling away, only for you to hold her by the waist.

"I don't think it's impossible at all." You answer finally, rising to stand at the same height as her face, and place a hand on her warm cheek. "I think we are made for each other. In any world, especially this one."

A short, shy, contented laugh escapes Wanda's lips and is mirrored on yours. She steps forward, breaks the distance between your faces and the world stops.

It's not your first kiss, but if it were your last you would die happy.

Her lips are soft and taste of cherry gloss. It's sweet and so warm, and it's over too quickly.

Wanda pulls back with sparkling eyes but slight insecurity. "Was that... nice?" she asks in a husky voice, and you almost choke because how can she have any doubt?

Instead of answering with words, you kiss her again. And again. And again. Until Wanda entwines her hands behind your head and slides her tongue into yours. You gasp because this is even better.

She explores your mouth until you need to break for breath, and when you do, your lips trace a trail down her jaw to her neck, and Wanda shudders, an aroused groan escaping.

You suddenly lose your balance when she pushes you sitting up on the bed, but you don't complain because she is straddling your lap next, kissing you with passion.

It's a war of hands and pulling, but it feels so good. Wanda kisses you with the same longing that you do as if she can hardly believe that you have wasted so much time without doing it.

It's late when you stop. Far beyond the end of Yelena's party.

You have half the buttons open, and her dress is dangerously lifted at the edges of her thigh. You are lying on your back on the mattress, Wanda beside you, hugging your body.

"I don't want to close my eyes." She confesses in a whisper with her head on your pillow, and you straighten up to be even closer. "I want to look at you."

You smile, your cheeks flushed. "I'll be here when you wake up. And you'll be able to look at me all you want."

She smiles but straightens up so that her face hovers over yours. "Just look?" She asks in a tone that makes you chuckle softly.

"I hope not. Please do more." You joke in the same tone and she chuckles lightly before kissing you again.

It doesn't take long for you both to fall asleep after that. Both of you with easy smiles on your faces.

–//–

One Month Later

Your relationship with Wanda was only getting better every day, unlike the war in the multiverse.

The variant was right - Wanda needed you. Luckily, you also needed her.

Even though the Avengers' missions were increasing, you and her were falling into an incredible rhythm in your relationship, getting closer to each other every day.

And speaking of proximity.

"We're missing the whole concert." You recalled in a breathless voice, Wanda's lips marking your neck making the task of conversation nearly impossible.

You were in the back of your truck. The original plan was to watch Imagine Dragons, finally, and Wanda was even wearing your T-shirt. But well, she wanted a kiss, and somehow you ended up in the full auditorium parking lot in a heavy make-out session.

The sound of the music muffled out the sighs, and hopefully, the night made it impossible for anyone curious to try to look inside the car.

Wanda was on your lap, grinding against your thigh, and you were gripping the seat for support, trying to resist the urge to rip her clothes off.

Wanda seemed to want quite the opposite.

"Detka..." The brunette practically whimpered, teeth dragging under your skin. "Touch me."

You groaned aroused, tightening your hand around her waist and earning a sigh in return. "By god, Wanda, we're in a parking lot."

She complains with a bite on your skin that makes you gasp. "Why won't you touch me?" She insists almost annoyed, and you sigh before bringing your hands to her face.

"I thought you wanted our first time to be special." You explain with a warm face, surprising her a little, "We won't even be able to make any real noise here. And it's going to have to be quick."

Wanda bites her lip, her hands going down to the buttons of your blouse. "It's going to be special anywhere, detka, because it's with you." She retorts before stealing another firm kiss. "Now someone is confident about the quick and loud." She teases getting a small laugh before you return to kissing her with more passion now, determined to win the implied challenge.

Wanda tried to match the intensity of the kiss, but her hands wandered and you adjusted just enough for her to feel something else.

She broke the kiss with a soft choke, her center pressed against the firmness between your legs. Her darkened irises flashed in surprise at you.

"What's this, dorogoya? Were you planning this?" She asked with a mixed tone of teasing and mockery. "But what about all that stuff about our first time to be special..."

You grunted impatiently, thrusting your hips upward as you firmed your hands around Wanda's waist, and the precise friction of the strap against her made her whimper and grip your shoulders tightly.

"This was meant to be for after the show, smart-ass." You explain half breathlessly, watching her gasp as you guide her movements in your lap. "I did something nice in your room, with roses and everything. But someone couldn't keep their pants on..."

Wanda gave a guilty little laugh that turned into a groan when you pressed her right.

"I need you inside, detka, please." She whimpered but you shook your head, stopping your movements to push her skirt up with one hand.

"I need to stretch you out first, pretty girl." You explained, sliding your hands inside her skirt and choking on your own breath as you found no panties. "Wanda, by all that's most sacred..." You grunted affectedly, leaning your forehead against hers and she gave a breathless giggle.

"Yelena's idea, you can thank her later." She clarifies, throwing her hips forward to encourage you to move your hand. You follow the cue immediately, and when your fingers sink inside her, she arches her back and throws her head back. "o chert, detka! (oh fuck, babe!)" She exclaims affectedly, making you smile proudly.

"Feels good, doesn't it, babe?" You ask meekly, curling your fingers inside her tight intimacy and stimulating her at slow speed until Wanda is panting and whimpering. "You look so sexy riding my fingers, pretty girl."

Wanda moaned deeply as she came and you muffled the sound with an intense kiss, feeling a strong wave of arousal at the sensation of her pussy twitching and dripping onto your fingers.

"I'd say that was pretty quick, but let's try the loud now, what do you think?" You sneer at the dizzy with pleasure girl in front of you, who has a few seconds to recover from her climax before you unzip your pants and adjust the strap with her entrance, making her jerk a little for her sensitivity. You kiss her cheek, hands on her thighs. "Changed your mind?" You ask warmly, showing in your gaze that there would be no problem at all if Wanda wanted to stop, but she shakes her head quickly and kisses you hard. You feel her straddling you, and only know that she has done the work to adjust and sink into the toy when she gasps against your lips in a loud whimper.

"Fuck, it's too big." She whimpers, and you hold her waist, keeping her still. Your lips kiss her face and neck, and one of your hands moves up to her breast, stimulating the tip and making Wanda roll over against the strap-on instinctively.

"You can take it, I know you can." You coax meekly, the hand on her waist moving down to her intimacy, your fingers beginning to draw circles on her swollen clit that make Wanda drop her forehead against your shoulder, an affected moan leaving her lips. "Can I start moving, sweetheart?"

Wanda nodded breathlessly, practically bouncing on her own and making you smile. You held her by the waist, looking down to see the strap-on soaked when you pulled it out and then watching the toy unstrap inside her as you lowered her back down, the image tearing a moan from you.

You kissed Wanda again, but as soon as she found her rhythm on top of the fake cock, it became impossible for her to reciprocate. She bounced on your lap, the sounds of your hard thrusts echoing mixed with her whimpers of pleasure until she began to spasm and you had to take over.

"Bozhe moy, detka, ya tak blizko! Ne ostanavlivaytesʹ, pozhaluysta, ne ostanavlivaytesʹ! (Oh my god, baby I'm so close! Don't stop, please don't stop!)" Wanda came with a loud cry of pleasure, making a complete mess in your lap and destroying half the seat with her magic.

You kissed her hard, exchanging breathless giggles as you caressed her hips.

"This definitely beats watching Imagine Dragons." You joke and she laughs with flushed cheeks, kissing you again.

You notice that the noise of the music has diminished, indicating the first break, and you sigh together. Wanda speaks before you.

"Take me home, dorogoya. " She asks against your lips, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "I don't want to stop."

You choke softly, and nod dumbly, which makes Wanda smile.

You have no idea how you managed to drive home after that, but part of you thinks Wanda must have used magic.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #marvel imagines #canon divergence #scarlet witch x reader

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