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#we want relationships to make OURSELVES feel better
behind-the-sc3ne · 6 months
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sometimes i think about trying dating apps/online dating in general but i don't think i'll be able to attach to a real person again
#cw vent#oversharing#shoutout to the people who ruined it for everyone#like don't get me wrong i want (and probably need) relationships with real people#but how am i supposed to do that when i don't even have the courage to message first#at a glance i seem pretty open and honest about who i am and what i've experienced#but there's a lot of things i'll never talk about. not online or irl.#i can't open up fully to my therapist (who i've had for two or three years at this point)#so how am i ever going to have normal relationships?#there's people both online and irl actively trying to befriend me but i don't know how to react#how can i trust them?#i feel like they don't know me well enough to want to be my friend but how are they supposed to know me if i never talk to them#i think the biggest problem is i don't know what's appropriate to discuss. (<- autistic)#i always accidentally overshare or talk too much and become annoying or make them uncomfortable etc#and i can't talk about my interests over and over because it'll get repetitive and annoying#and no one cares anyway.#about any of it tbh. i'll be honest and say that humans are very self-centered.#we want relationships to make OURSELVES feel better#i'm convinced no one actually cares about me and they just want to talk to me because i'm cool#they're not looking for anything mutually fulfilling. they're not looking for anything meaningful or long-term.#they just want short term pleasure#and i'll be honest. so do i. i'm not going to be around for much longer so it's all i can get.#i'll likely kill myself before next year is over and no one's going to miss me#can't say i blame them. i don't think i'd miss anything.
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featherymainffins · 2 months
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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flashcs6 · 11 months
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Non aces when they realize that not everyone is obsessed with sex: 🤯
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arielleslipgloss · 3 months
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How to Reinvent Yourself!!
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(none of these photos are mine!) “Pour yourself a drink, put on lipstick and pull yourself together.” - Elizabeth Taylor
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Mindset!! This is one of the most important things that comes with reinventing yourself. Therefore that toxic, negative, insecure, and judgmental mindset has gotta go. Say hello to your new positive, secure, lavish, and uplifting mindset! Now, first thing you need to do is stop taking EVERYTHING so personally. Should you really be spending your whole day overthinking what this person says about you. NO! The only opinion that should matter when it comes to you, IS YOU. Next, think with a “so what?” type of mindset. Someone doesn’t like you? So what! Someone judges you? So what! Say so what, and move on. Lastly, take care of your mind!! You can’t create a whole new mindset if you don’t take care of your mind. So, heal whatever is making your mind stressed and fill your head with lots of good thoughts. You could compliment yourself, do shadow work, watch uplifting videos, just do whatever makes you feel good.
2. Set boundaries!! Not only should you set boundaries for yourself, but also for your relationships. Whether thats with a bf/gf, family members, or even friends. Whoever it is, they need to understand to not cross the line. Now, if they don’t understand then they obviously shouldn’t be around you. This year we are only surrounding ourselves around people who deserve to have access to us. Now, let’s talk about examples of having boundaries . First example, someone may be touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. For that reason you move a bit away from that person and clarify that they’re making you uncomfortable. If they call you selfish, so what? They need to understand to respect your boundaries. Second, someone is disrespecting you? Tell them that you don’t like their behavior and to stop. Last example, a stranger is using your belongings without your permission? Tell them that they should have asked and you don’t want them using your stuff. If any of these people don’t respect your boundaries, get them out of your life!!
3. Change the way you dress, talk, and walk!! I would like to clarify quickly, only do this if you want to. Moving on, I’ve learnt that slower walking and talking is better. Now I’m not saying to walk and talk in slow motion. Just slightly do it slower. This way, you can play attention to your behaviors more. It can be really important to observe yourself. Not only that but in a world moving fast, walking slow makes you stand out. Also make sure when you speak, it’s clear. That way people can understand you and what you’re saying. Finally, let’s go over the way you dress. Wear outfits that make you feel good, stylish, and fit you well. If you want to wear an outfit, don’t shy away. Wear it if it makes you feel happy! When you wear an outfit that makes you confident, the outfit is even cuter. Don’t forget, have fun with fashion and experiment with pieces.
4. Self-worth!! You need to understand that you’re an absolute BLESSING on this Earth. You are here for a reason and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There is not a single flaw in you. You see your insecurities? Yeah, well someone out there has them too. Just because you have a few insecurities, doesn’t mean that should bring your value down. You should bring your value up and add taxes by realizing your worth.
“It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” - George Washington
Love you dolls sm!! Remember to always wear a smile and stay pretty 💋
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Pinterest: Arielleslipgloss
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soracities · 11 months
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"Well, it’s that time again. I mark mid-summer by the sharing of this photo on its anniversary. This photo has spent six years circulating in the internet’s many corners and in the stories of people who have both found new relationships and/or ended friendships. 2017, New York, I was invited to a track-by-track celebration of Carly Rae Jepsen's EMOTION, where each writer was assigned one song to give a presentation on. I wanted "Warm Blood" but picked too late and got "Your Type," and made a presentation on my phone on the plane, but this was the only slide, and I read a long thing about desire, and about that thin veil between realizing you like someone and realizing you LIKE someone, about falling in love with friends, about being platonically in love with friends, about treating platonic love with the same generosity and rigor as romantic love. But mostly about the bravery of Big Declarations Of Emotion. Because of the nature of the party, and the fact that this photo has circulated for years without context, I think it has led to more Big Declarations Of Emotion than anything, and I don't mind that, I suppose. I still get people, to this day, telling me they were at this event or they've seen this photo and that they were inspired to tell someone they were in love with them. It feels especially exciting to share this year, in a year where I’ve gotten to be the most excited witness to my friends and their fluorescent joys. Marriages, new houses, new kids, their bravery and openness with the world. Being an audience to that makes me bold in my capacity for love, for care. We ascend to better versions of ourselves through our love for each other, and that is romance. The best kind. The results are sometimes mixed, I’ve heard. They always are. If you told a friend you love them and things got weird, I apologize. but to be fair, I wanted Warm Blood. As I say every year, there are so many ways to fall for someone. If you are at the edge of the cliff anyway, consider taking the leap. The ground might be soft enough to hold you and whatever comes next, and if it isn't there will always be more cliffs, more edges."
Hanif Adburraqib on ig
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loveemagicpeace · 6 months
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🍸Saturn in Houses🍸
A lot of people ask me about Saturn in houses so I decided to make a new series about Saturn in houses in general.
☕️Most important thing about Saturn is that Saturn represent time , age ,reward , growth but in some kind of different way than Jupiter. Also represents your way of coping with life,things that you are more serious about and more responsible with. It also represents holidays. The planet is known for its reality and practicality, but also for its tendency to excessive strictness. His expectations may be too high. A strong Saturn in chart can indicate that we want to control everything in our life to the point that we consider ourselves a failure if we fail to reach the goals we have set for ourselves. However, Saturn provides the desire for we develop the areas in which we feel weak and this weakness can therefore become our greatest virtue. Strong Saturn connection between two charts in relationship (especially if saturn is in aspect with the moon or the sun) indicates a serious long-term commitment that can last forever (whether we like it or not). Saturn can also be cruel sometimes because it is the planet of hard reality but it also the planet that help us the most to achieve something much more greater than that.
🫧Saturn in 1st house- in your early age you can have problems with yourself image ,with your appearance ,confidence & energy. It can also be hard for you to express yourself. With Saturn here you can feel weak sometimes. You can feel like you don't have that much power that other people do have or you can feel like you are not good enough. Many people may underestimate you. Many times you can give off a very different energy than it really is (especially when people meet you for the first time). You are a more closed person and you only give energy to those who deserve it.
✨Saturn in 2nd house- maybe it's hard for you to find your value or set boundaries for yourself. You have very strong and serious approach to money you will never buy something that it's like I don't know some random thing. Also a lot of people think that you cannot work with money or things related to money maybe people don't trust you with that but this is all because they don't really know how smart you actually are. Low self-esteem is a characteristic trait of this placement in astrology. Self-confidence doesn’t come easy to you, though.
⭐️Saturn in 3rd house- many people underestimate your thinking, expression, intelligence. U can usually get insecure about the way you speak or the way you say some things. I think the fear in this house is that you are afraid that you will say something wrong. You have to be confident in whatever thing you say and you should say confidently because you are intelligent ,you're smart. You can also be a good writer & speaker. Many people can pass their driving test late, but that's exactly why they drive much better than others. You can get along better with your siblings later in life. You are capable of seeing things in depth.
🎧Saturn in 4th house- you can have a lot of rules in your early years. You grow up with rules at home that you can stick to. Your parents are more strict with you and allow you to do certain things later. I just feel like that parents will buy you a phone later in life or something. People usually come from a family where they weren’t emotionally nourished. But it's not always like that because when it comes to family the Moon is great indicator for how you feel at home and how you vibe at home. So saturn doesn't mean that your family cannot be good. You can also be the person who grows the fastest in the family.
❄️Saturn in 5th house- dating life can be very serious topic for you. You cannot date people with whom you don't feel that you can have committed relationships with. Saturn brings a strong desire for fame, recognition, and success but may result in delays and disappointments in love life and artistic creations. U can also struggle to find love. You can also have very high standards when it comes to love because 5th house represent dating ,represent meeting people and flirting and falling in love so usually people who have Saturn in 5th house are very serious when it comes to that. In some cases, your partners are older than you. Often, your love life significantly improves after the age of thirty. Your best relationships will probably come later in life. As you become more carefree and spontaneous, you become more attractive to others.
🍃Saturn in 6th house- you can have a lot of struggles in the work. You feel that working is just anxiety for you or when you work, people are just rude or mean to you. You are always in the shadow at work. People find you like you are not good enough or you don't do the job good enough. You can also stress a lot about your health and you can also be obsessed with being in the some kind of routine or having some lifestyle. Being healthy all the time.
🐚Saturn in 7th house- there can be issues with your relationships. You can have relationships in your early years or you don’t have for a long time. You usually have many karmic relationships from which you can learn a lot. Saturn helps you to choose the right person for yourself and to be happy in the end. You are a person who is serious when it comes to a relationship (when you find a person, then that person is the one and only for you), you hate cheating, and when you decide to leave then you leave. Saturn can also bring a sense of responsibility and duty to relationships. The individual may take their relationships seriously and work hard to maintain them.
☁️Saturn in 8th house- there can be a lot of family secrets that family kept from you. People with Saturn in this house usually feel very lonely or alone in their soul. They have this mindset that you are all alone in this world. You are aware of the hard truth in life that people don't. You can fear the death of loved ones. If you overcome the challenges of your Saturn in the eighth house, you will be able to understand people very well. You can develop a talent to see into the soul. Saturn here gives you a deep understanding of life, death, crisis, transformation, and sometimes a talent for healing.
⚡️Saturn in 9th house- Saturn gives you a deeper view of the world in which you live. Saturn in ninth house people have very strict moral code. This placement indicated a religious person, someone who either follows the set rules or makes their own views. You meet new people and experience new activities that make you see the world from a new perspective. You can also meet a lot of people that change your perspective and your mindset. But there can also be a deep fear of new views. Maybe you don't feel like you're not smart enough or that you're not educated enough.
🖤Saturn in 10th house- You usually go over many obstacles to finally achieve what you really want. Many people have problems with whether they will ever be successful or achieve it. But in the end, they achieve even more. Many times people don't believe in you and see you as a person who will never be that successful and then you surprise them all. You can learn a lot from your father and your father can be your role model or a person who helps you through life. The best advice will give you your father.
🫐Saturn in 11th house-you can have a lot of karmic friendships and you can change a lot of friends in your life. Every friend that you have is the friend that you have to learn something from them. Your hopes and wishes are another important life area associated with this house. It shows everything that comes into your life and how your dreams can come true. Saturn in eleventh house suggests that you are quiet and reserved when in a group. Sometimes you feel invisible: it feels like no one hears you out in a group. In this lifetime, you have to learn how to have a healthy relationship with groups and how to behave in your social circle.
🥃Saturn in 12th house- The individual may experience a strong sense of responsibility towards charitable or behind-the-scenes work. Sometimes you don’t let even those the closest to you to see your weaknesses. As a child, you had to learn to hide your feelings, especially the negative ones. You absorb all the energies around you, and if you are surrounded by negativity, it can affect you badly. It can happen that you have a job that requires you to be isolated in some way. Maybe you work in a hospital or prison. You are often unaware of the reason why you are in pain. If you have planets in the twelfth house, you can benefit a lot from psychotherapy. But when you have Saturn return you can benefit a lot from it and you can become very spiritual opened and you can have a lot of blessings.
🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸
✨Ig-bekylibra✨
-Rebekah📀💘☁️
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theambitiouswoman · 10 months
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Do you really love yourself?
Many times in the past, I believed I was operating out of self-love. However, it was only when I began focusing on personal growth and engaging in shadow work and inner healing that I came to understand that my previous perception was not accurate.
Sometimes, we believe we're being kind to ourselves because we do things that feel good or seem helpful at first. We might do these things because we want to feel better or think they're good for us.
To become aware that something might not be truly self loving, we need to pay attention to how things make us feel in the long run. If something we're doing ends up making us feel unhappy, stressed, or even harms us over time, that's a sign that it might not be coming from genuine self love. So, it's important to regularly check in with our feelings and reflect on whether our actions are bringing us real and lasting happiness and well-being.
These are some examples you may relate to, where we might think we're operating out of self-love, but it may not truly be the case:
Self-Care:
Binge watching TV shows for hours, thinking it's self-care, but it leads to neglecting other responsibilities.
Regularly indulging in unhealthy foods as a form of self-care, but it negatively impacts physical well-being.
Spending excessive amounts on shopping to feel better momentarily, mistaking it for self-care, when it strains finances.
Oversleeping every day, believing it's self-care, but it disrupts daily routines and productivity.
Isolating yourself from others under the guise of self-care, but it can worsen feelings of loneliness.
Skipping regular exercise, thinking you're prioritizing relaxation, but it affects overall health in the long run.
Using substances like alcohol to cope with stress, thinking it's self-care, when it may lead to dependency.
Personality:
Constantly seeking validation from others to feel worthy, assuming it's part of your personality, but it indicates low self-esteem.
Always being the peacemaker in conflicts, believing it's your personality, but it might be suppressing your true feelings.
Refusing to ask for help in any situation, thinking it's part of your personality, but it can hinder growth.
Being overly competitive and comparing yourself to others, thinking it's just your personality, but it can lead to dissatisfaction.
Being excessively introverted to the point of avoiding social interactions, thinking it's part of your personality, but it may contribute to isolation.
Always putting others' needs before your own, assuming it's your personality, but it could be detrimental to your well-being.
Constantly seeking new experiences and never committing to anything, believing it's your personality, but it might hinder progress.
Career:
Overworking and not taking breaks, assuming it's necessary for career success, but it leads to burnout.
Staying in a job you hate because it's what you're used to, thinking it's for the sake of career stability, but it prevents growth.
Avoiding asking for promotions or raises, assuming it's humility, but it might hold you back professionally.
Pursuing a career path solely for financial gain, thinking it's practical, but it can result in dissatisfaction.
Accepting workplace mistreatment in the name of job commitment, thinking it's dedication, but it's detrimental to mental health.
Focusing solely on climbing the corporate ladder, believing it's the key to success, but it may lead to neglecting other important aspects of life.
Not pursuing opportunities for skill development, thinking it's contentment, but it can hinder career advancement.
Romantic Relationships:
Ignoring your own needs to constantly please your partner, believing it's love, but it leads to codependency.
Staying in a toxic relationship because you're afraid of being alone, thinking it's love, but it harms your well-being.
Sacrificing your own dreams and goals for your partner's aspirations, mistaking it for love, when it hinders personal growth.
Avoiding conflicts at all costs, assuming it's love for peace, but it prevents healthy communication.
Idealizing your partner and overlooking their flaws, thinking it's love, but it prevents realistic understanding.
Rushing into a new relationship immediately after a breakup, thinking it's moving on, but it might be avoiding emotions.
Disregarding your own values to align with your partner's, believing it's love, when it compromises your authenticity.
Friendships:
Going along with friends' decisions even when you disagree, assuming it's loyalty, but it might lead to resentment.
Pretending to enjoy activities you dislike to fit in, thinking it's maintaining friendships, but it's not authentic.
Ignoring your own needs to help friends excessively, believing it's friendship, when it impacts your own well-being.
Staying friends with people who consistently bring you down, thinking it's loyalty, but it negatively affects your self-esteem.
Avoiding confrontation with friends, assuming it's maintaining harmony, but it might lead to unresolved issues.
Letting others take advantage of your kindness, thinking it's friendship, when it's actually being taken for granted.
Faking interest in others' conversations to avoid feeling left out, thinking it's friendship, but it prevents genuine connections.
Personal Growth:
Staying in your comfort zone and avoiding challenges, thinking it's self-preservation, when it hinders progress.
Setting unrealistic goals for personal development, believing it's ambition, but it can lead to disappointment.
Constantly seeking external validation for your progress, assuming it's self-improvement, when it should come from within.
Overloading your schedule with self-help activities, thinking it's maximizing growth, but it might cause overwhelm.
Avoiding reflection on your mistakes and shortcomings, thinking it's self-compassion, when it prevents learning.
Perpetually focusing on your flaws without celebrating achievements, thinking it's humility, but it can lead to low self-esteem.
Ignoring your emotional needs in favor of pushing through challenges, assuming it's resilience, when it might hinder emotional well-being.
Physical Health:
Skipping Meals to Lose Weight: You might think that skipping meals will help you lose weight quickly, but it can lead to nutritional deficiencies and harm your body's energy levels.
Overexercising: Working out excessively with no rest can seem like a way to get fit, but it can lead to injuries, exhaustion, and even weakened immunity.
Crash Diets: Trying extreme diets that drastically cut out food groups might seem like a fast way to lose weight, but they often lack important nutrients and can be harmful to your body.
Ignoring Sleep: Prioritizing work or entertainment over sleep might seem productive, but sleep is crucial for your body to recover and function well.
Relying on Supplements Alone: Thinking that supplements can replace a balanced diet might seem convenient, but they're meant to complement, not replace, healthy eating.
Ignoring Pain: Believing that toughing it out through pain or discomfort is a sign of strength, but it's important to listen to your body and seek medical attention when needed.
Not Staying Hydrated: Forgetting to drink enough water might not seem like a big deal, but proper hydration is vital for many bodily functions and overall well-being.
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headspace-hotel · 3 months
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i'm...thinking about writing a book?
I mean. I feel really silly at the thought because i'm not like a scientist or anything, i'm barely at the beginning of my knowledge journey, but...being a writer was what I always wanted to do. It's what I've been doing ever since I could remember. And I'm constantly, constantly just so full of things that I want to tell the whole world. I will have a realization or idea and think, oh my god. Everyone needs to know this. But I can't tell everyone. I'm not good at talking.
I'm good at writing. But I will sit down to write a post on my silly little blog and get so overwhelmed by the SCALE of everything I want to say.
I think I've already started to write a book. I think the space for these ideas to fill is already the size of a book and it will never have any smaller of a size, and no one else will come along to write the book, and no one else CAN write the book, and IT HAS TO BE WRITTEN.
I want to write about the ways of the plants, of course. I want to teach how to transplant and how to gather seeds and the properties of keystone species...but more importantly, I want to write about how to learn the ways of the plants. I want to promote the habit of insatiable curiosity and intense observation. I want to show everyone that everything everywhere is infinitely interesting and mysterious, and if you pay attention to the plants, they will teach you.
I want to write about Symbiosis. I want to write about how we are connected to every other thing, how we have our own ecological niche as Caretakers, and our own special adaptations of curiosity and love. I want to write about how the ecosystem needs us to participate in it, not to cut ourselves off from it, and how our powerful influence on ecosystems can be for good or for bad. We are not a disease. We are a Keystone Species.
I want to discourage this Euro-centric idea that sees humans as separate, and recommend more reading from indigenous points of view that understands ecosystems better and sees humans as participants in nature, engaging in a reciprocal symbiotic relationship. I want to speak against all this talk about removing humans from half of the Earth or reducing the human population, and show other people that despair and fear make you paralyzed and powerless, but hope is powerful.
The most important and powerful thing you can do for your ecosystem is to love it. It is necessary to have hope for the future—to learn to imagine a future of restoration and renewal, and to build community with other people working toward that future.
If we don't imagine a future for our ecosystems, imagine them boldly and audaciously in ways that feel crazy and impossible, those futures will not happen. But just the act of saying, "This WILL happen. We WILL be okay." gives you the strength and energy to fight and it gives you the creativity to come up with solutions you never could have thought of before.
And I feel I have to explain, how did I end up listening to plants? And how did the teachings become so important that I had to write about them? There's this black, swallowing abyss underpinning all of who I am, some intimation of a reality so terrible the human spirit breaks beneath it. I had a mental health crisis back in 2021 where I was pulled deep into that abyss, and when I started rescuing little plants and caring for them, I was basically re-learning how to be human.
I feel like I was seeking answers to "How am I supposed to live in this world?" in the natural world because the human world of poetry and books and articles and think-pieces had utterly failed me in that regard. I had taken multiple poetry classes where I had read all the best contemporary poems, and all the poets just wrote flat, plodding, blunt descriptions of their trauma and despair. Nothing is wrong with these topics, but the worst part was how these authors didn't even take themselves seriously; they had to be detached and ironic about their own pain, like a snarky dystopian novel hero who jokes casually about the horrific reality they live in so the reader knows that this reality is normal and unremarkable to them—and even more importantly, that the hero is ironic and cool instead of responding in a vulnerable, human way.
And speaking of dystopian novels...there were a lot of those! It was like all the visions of the future I had read were dystopian. Even I had been writing a dystopian novel. But I realized that I wasn't wise enough to tell that story yet. I didn't know why at first. But then, as I was reading everything people were writing about climate change, I began to realize.
I saw a lot of patterns between the way people wrote about climate change and the tendencies of self-harm and self-defeat that gnawed inside me. Suicide was something that I had never struggled against, but I understood that suicide was only the most striking manifestation of a self-annihilating way. Sometimes you feel like by hurting yourself, you are being transgressive, exercising autonomy against an absolute, crushing reality. It doesn't have to be physical hurt; it can just be deciding no one will like you and denying yourself love, or thinking "Well, there's no use hoping for anything good to happen."
This is how people talk about climate change. They fantasize about extreme, horrific scenarios and talk as if the Earth is already dead and destroyed, and they talk about humans hatefully and as if they were a disease, and then congratulate themselves for seeing how bad it REALLY is instead of being in denial. It is easy for people to get attached to this and even get mad when someone suggests there might be hope, simply because self-harm can be very psychologically reinforcing.
It is common to call these responses "climate grief." But as I came into this very simple and quiet yet profound encounter with Nature, she had an answer to this philosophy that was perfectly gentle and placid and yet caustic enough to strip paint:
"HOW CAN YOU WISH FOR THE STRENGTH TO GRIEVE THE EARTH, WHEN YOU WERE NEVER STRONG ENOUGH TO LOVE IT?"
I realized, with a breaking heart, that I had always hated and resented my back yard and my home town, because it was an ugly place that seemed to me "Already destroyed," and my soul ached for woods and wilderness.
It had taken me 20 years to fully admit my love of nature, because I felt like there was no point in acting upon it—everything would get destroyed anyway.
I had not been brave enough to love the woods across the road, the creeks and the hills, because they were so fragile in a world that didn't respect them, they could be destroyed by some housing development at any time. So I just accepted that it was already a lost cause.
But it was time to be brave enough—not to accept despair, but to choose hope.
To grow up, first we had to become strong and get rid of silly beliefs like hope and fairness and love. But now, we have to become even stronger and start believing in those things again.
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honeytae · 8 months
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you’ll let me?
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pairing : shy!oc x shy!jk, est. relationship
genre : smut
wc : 2.9k
warnings : minors dni! descriptions of making out, dry humping, cunnilingus and vaginal penetration all below the cut. jk has an oral fixation bc duh, also he’s wearing calvin’s bc i couldn’t help myself. author makes far too many 3D lyric puns but to be fair i had it on repeat </3
the last text jungkook sent was staring back at you on your phone screen, and you never knew how deeply such a simple question could impact you.
can i come over?
biting your bottom lip, you cursed as he started typing again, then quickly disappeared from the chat.
you never wanted to make him feel rejected, but sometimes you think it’s better off. teasing him was easy…effortless, even, over text. when you were with him in person, you turned into some timid little girl around her very first crush.
sighing, you begin typing a response, some bullshit excuse about it being a long day and needing some sleep. before you hit send, you set your phone down, rolling your neck and staring at the ceiling in thought.
admittedly, he’s all you can think about. how pretty his eyes are, how they sparkle when he smiles at you or laughs at one of your dumb jokes. how soft his lips feel when briefly pressed against your own since he’s such a fucking gentleman all the damn time and won’t take it further unless you make the first move.
you want him. and you’re tired of pretending you don’t.
fuck it.
a repetitive clicking sounded from your phone as you held your finger on the backspace button, deleting your previous unsent response.
yes please :)
you feel your pulse speed up as you press send on your revised message, unable to suppress your giddiness when you get an immediate response.
on my way :)
the minutes feel like hours while you wait for your boyfriend to arrive.
your head snaps up when you finally hear the rapping of knuckles on hard wood, nearly stumbling over the carpet as you get up to open the door for him.
“hey,” he breathes out, running his tattooed hand through his dark hair, jiggling his car keys in his other.
“hi there,” you smirk, stepping back to allow him room to enter your place.
jungkook grins, lip piercings glittering under the lights of your foyer, butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach at his mere presence.
you shut the door behind him, and you internally begin to panic. shit, shit, shit. this is why you can’t function around him. he’s sexy, he’s smooth, he’s confident. he’s got it all.
seemingly noticing your frozen state, jungkook takes your hands into his, pulling you toward him and wrapping his arms around your body.
“you wanna know something?” he whispers, kind eyes soothing you immediately. he smiles when he feels you melt into his arms, wrapping your own arms around his neck as you hum in response.
“you intimidate me,” he presses his forehead against yours, his nose crinkling at your alarmed facial expression.
“i meant that in a good way,” he clarifies, closing his eyes for a second to think about what he wants to say next.
you get caught up in the way his long eyelashes kiss his cheeks, his soft skin flushing a light pink under your attention.
it was comforting to know he was as affected by you as you were by him. you squeezed your arms around him to get his attention again, admiring his shy smile as he came back to you.
“you intimidate me too,” you whisper, “but i also think we should let ourselves do what we want.”
you watch as something unfamiliar flickers in jungkooks eyes, excited by the new desire displayed in his features.
you shiver as his hand slides up your neck to cup your jaw, resting his hand behind your ear. his eyes flick down to your lips, and you swear you must be dreaming.
“is this okay?” he asks, voice soft, caring. as usual.
“more than okay,” you murmured, tilting your head to finally, finally, finally press your lips to his.
when his mouth opens, he tastes sweet, like sugar and cherries. it just makes sense, the ease of your tongues finding each other making you both sigh in relief.
moans and whimpers pass between you when he closes his mouth and sucks on your tongue, and you feel dizzy due to the fact that he has now walked you backward to press your spine to the wall. your shy jungkook is no more.
you can gradually feel yourself slipping into his spell, each movement of his mouth pulling you in deeper and deeper until you have to pull away to catch your breath.
jungkook’s eyes dart wildly around your face, admiring your flushed lips and messy hair. he adjusts his hand so that his fingers are pushing your hair behind your ears, smiling when he feels your fingers wrap around his wrists.
“shit, we should do that again,” you exhale, jungkook giggling as he tips his scrunched up face to the ceiling for a moment.
“yeah,” he breathes, leveling his face with you again before tipping to the right, teasingly hovering over your needy mouth, “we really should.”
this time is rougher than the last, neither of you caring to test the waters any further. they’ve been tested enough.
and all you can think is how incredibly stupid you’ve been. how did you deprive yourself of this for so long?
you keen as jungkook presses his chest to yours, wildly beating hearts communicating just how ready the two of you were to finally feel each other.
your hands go to jungkooks hair while his go down your back, trailing down your spine and politely stopping at midway.
he groans deep in his throat when you guide his hands to go to your ass, a surge of heat flushing between your legs when he cups the flesh with his fingers and squeezes like he’s wanted to for months.
“been waiting for this,” jungkook speaks breathlessly between kisses, an official statement on your four months of celibacy.
“don’t have to wait anymore,” you break away momentarily, a string of saliva stretching between you. “i’m ready.”
you tilt your head back to look at him, raising your eyebrows so that he knows you’re serious. his tongue darts out to play with his lip piercings, a casual habit of his, but it flames the arousal settling into the pit of your stomach.
“are you sure? you’ll let me?” he asks, and you grin as you slide out from where you were pressed between him and the wall, taking his hand in yours and wiping the rejection right off his face.
“honestly? i would let you do anything you wanted to me,” you answer truthfully, a confession you’re glad to have said without facing the man.
and it was a good thing, because it was now jungkooks turn to blush, biting his lip as you led him to your bedroom.
once on your bed, jungkook held your waist as you straddled him, smiling between kisses as you playfully nipped at each others lips.
after months of build up, it felt great to be able to feel each other, body to body.
he hissed as you rolled your hips down on his half hard cock, clenching his teeth as he let his hands roll the flesh of your ass, encouraging you to do it again.
you reveled in the noises spilling from his mouth, and never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined a man’s moans could be so sexy.
you definitely weren’t being quiet yourself, whining and moaning at each rock of your hips along jungkook’s growing shaft.
this moment was fulfilling your fantasies. and, well, not to sound totally pathetic but…it’s been a long time since you’ve been touched like this.
“i wanna see you, baby,” jungkook speaks up between moans, cursing when you guide his hand up underneath your shirt.
he wastes no time in lifting the material to feel your skin, hand flattening to drag up your stomach.
“oh, my god,” you whimper, moments later when he’s got your bra discarded on the floor and his mouth on your chest. your hand holds onto his hair for some kind of stability as he marks the underside of your breast, smoothing it over with a swipe of his tongue that catches your nipple as well.
jungkook lets out a noise of approval at the way the action makes you pull on his hair a bit tighter, moving his face so he’s directly over your breast, wrapping his lips around your nipple and suckling.
his eyes flick up to your face and he feels a rush of blood go down to his dick at the view. your face is contorted in pleasure, mouth dropped open as you arch into his touch.
it makes him want to move down further, so he tests his limits and removes himself from your chest, shuffling down and watching for your reaction as he hooks his fingers underneath the waistband.
“tell me if you want me to stop,” he speaks softly, eyes turning to amused crescents when you instead lift your butt for him to remove your shorts.
always so caring. your jungkook. but you think you might kill him if he doesn’t have your pants off in the next two seconds.
“please don’t stop,” you beg, and that’s all jungkook needs to hear before he’s nearly ripping your shorts and underwear off, coaxing your thighs open to reveal just how wet you are.
“shit,” he says as he traces a finger through your folds, making your cheeks burn hotter as he retracts said finger and closes his mouth around it to get a taste of you.
“jungkoook,” you whine, embarrassed at his crudeness. he only laughs in response, settling himself between your legs as he taps his fingers against your thigh comfortingly.
“what? i want the full experience! and you taste amazing.”
he’s shameless, you think, but you don’t get the chance to say it before he has his face buried between your legs. you inhale a broken gasp as he licks at your clit, rolling it with his tongue as his thumbs rub circles into the skin by your hip bones.
he alternated between flattening his tongue to gather your juices and pointing it to rub hard circles on your swollen clit, and the pace in which he does so is making you dizzy.
“fuckin’ gorgeous,” he slurs against you, and if it was possible, you’d say jungkook was drunk off of you.
“fuck, fuck, please,” you whimper, the high pitched sound piercing the otherwise quiet of your apartment.
jungkook seems to understand what you’re asking for as he immediately puts his fingers to good use, sliding his index finger into you and curling it up to hit your g-spot each time he enters you.
it leads to a humiliating amount of gushing from your entrance, jungkook again taking his finger out to suck everything you’d given him off.
“jungkook,” you wail as he swings your legs over his shoulders, nuzzling his head further between your legs, opening his mouth to moan against you.
your mouth opened in a silent scream as he began fucking you with calculated flicks of his tongue, the tip of his nose bumping into your clit with each nod of his head.
“baby, hmm-fuck!” you shudder as he continues the tantalizing action, running your hands through his hair and clenching your fingers around his soft tendrils as you felt the burning intensify in the pit of your stomach.
jungkook groans at the sting on his scalp, eyebrows pulled together in concentration as he works you to your orgasm.
his hard work pays off when your thighs start shaking around his head, your release coating his mouth, hard breaths wracking your chest as he cleans you up with gentle laps of his tongue.
when he reappears above your face, you cup his jaw with both of your hands, lazily blinking up at him as you both attempt to steady your breathing.
“that was,” you raise your eyebrows, eyes darting down to his lips as his tongue darts out to drag against his bottom lip.
“fucking hot,” jungkook finishes for you, humming when you lift your head off the pillow and catch his lips once more.
he exhales a heavy breath from his nostrils when you slip a hand down his sweatpants, rubbing his hard bulge through his boxers.
“please fuck me,” you beg again, all reservation thrown out the window as you stroke him through the thin fabric separating you from his dick.
“don’t have to tell me twice,” he grins, shuffling out of his pants and grabbing a foil packet from the pocket before tossing them off the bed.
your mouth dropped slightly as he slid his calvins off his hips, hard cock slapping his stomach. you reach for him, but he gently overrides your hand, beginning to roll the condom onto his tip.
“as much as i would love for you to touch me right now, i know i would blow my load right away,” he chuckles when you do, but gets serious again with his next words, “and i need to be inside of you very soon otherwise i’ll completely lose my sanity.”
as he says this, he settles back over your frame, caging you underneath him and exhaling shakily as his cockhead catches in your entrance with the movement.
“okay,” you smile, kissing him once more as he slides his hands under your knees, forcing your legs up to slide in with ease.
“oh, fuck,” he moans as he bottoms out inside of you, sucking a harsh breath between his teeth. his neck flexes above you, a sheen of sweat beginning to show. you’re tempted to suck on the supple skin there, but all thoughts go out the window when he starts gently grinding circles into you.
“are you okay?” he asks, and even in his still caring tone, you can hear his voice threatening to break under the throes of pleasure.
“‘m good,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around him and playing with the hair on the back of his head, “you can move.”
he starts out slow, giving you deep thrusts that almost have his tip coming out before he pumps his entire length back inside of you.
“you’re so pretty,” he says suddenly, smirking when you grow flustered at his out of the blue confession, “i don’t tell you that enough.”
“y-you tell me that every day, jungkook,” you argue, brain muddled from the pleasure burning in your core.
“should be telling you at least three times a day,” he counters, an attractive grunt ending his sentence as he feels your muscles clench around his cock.
his eyes watch your every move, flicking down your bodies to where you’re connected, to your open mouth, to your scrunched eyebrows. he’s looking for clues of what you like, versus what you don’t.
experimentally, he snaps his hips a bit harder and faster, reaching a depth he hadn’t yet found within you.
“feels so good, baby,” you confirm around a gasp, jungkook readily diving down to swallow the moan you let out when he continues the delicious pace.
the bedsprings squeak under his movements, both of your moans accompanying the bothersome sound as the burning in the pit of your stomach grows.
the band feels like it’s been stretched past it’s limit and it’s about to snap. each time jungkook hits your g-spot feels like you’ve ascended to a different universe. you’re running your hands down his back to cope, digging your nails into his skin as he pushes you further up the mattress with his thrusts.
“squeezing me so tight, baby, ‘m not gonna last,” he pants into your ear, the sound so sexy that you hold him by the jaw again, tongues wrapping around each other as you both get closer and closer to your highs.
“gonna cum, i’m gonna cum kookie,” you whimper into his mouth, sobbing out a delighted moan when his thumb finds your clit again, rubbing circles into it with the pad of his finger.
“give it to me, baby, c’mon,” he moans, his hands folding your thighs up so they pressed flat to your stomach, hitting deeper with each thrust of his hips.
you cum with a high pitched whine of his name, jungkook responding with a series of “ah, ah, ah”s punctuating his final thrusts before he stills, exhaling a sigh of relief as he sets his forehead on your collarbone.
you cringe at the sting in your legs when he adjusts them to lay straight out on the bed again, jungkook apologizing with a soft kiss to your forehead that suddenly made the burning in your legs dissipate.
after discarding the condom in your bathroom, he walks back into the bedroom with a warm cloth in hand, gently dragging it between your legs to clean you.
you never dreamed that jungkook would be an aftercare king, but looking back on the months you spent with the sweet man, it made perfect sense.
your thoughts are interrupted by jungkook laying down next to you, swiping your hair back from your damp forehead.
“shit,” you finally say, at a complete loss for words in your post orgasm haze.
jungkook laughs, but it’s a kind laugh. he’s endeared, enamored, maybe just a little shy again now, because he just got to do everything he’s been dreaming of for months.
he shakes his head in disbelief before settling beside you, extending his arm for you to use as a pillow which you readily roll into.
“definitely couldn’t have done that through the phone.”
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viethehallucination · 24 days
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impulsivity in bpd can be cutting and dyeing your hair, but it’s also frying and destroying your hair to a point where it’s completely ruined and you’re self conscious of it everyday.
impulsivity in bpd can be having an attitude and saying some petty things to people, but it’s also ruining every good friendship and relationship you’ve ever had and you can’t stop yourself from sabotaging everything, so you end up alone in a deep pit.
impulsivity in bpd can be having some drinks, doing dr*gs, or having a lot of meaningless sex. but it’s also relying on drinking and dr*gs so much that you’re completely off your face all time and it ruins your image and every aspect of your life. and it’s also no one wanting a relationship with you because you “sleep around” or “probably have an std”.
impulsivity in bpd can be browsing an fps facebook. but it’s also stalking their every move online and their every step in the real world constantly because you need them so bad. you can’t live without knowing if they’re okay, knowing what they’re doing, knowing if they’re leaving you for someone else, etc.
the list goes on. us borderlines post a lot of shit about bpd, and in my personal case, laughing it off and sharing it to others makes me feel a bit better and i know that it makes others feel less alone knowing that other people are doing the same horrendous shit. but stop romanticising being obsessive, quirky, impulsive, and having an attitude. it’s fucking painful. the emotional aspect is PHYSICALLY painful. watching the world crumble around us because most of us can’t fucking stop ourselves is painful. the withdrawals from substances, s/h, etc because we are so prone to addiction is PAINFUL. i’m all for supporting our fellow borderlines and cluster b peoples, but STOP self diagnosing to be “trendy”. i’m not on about self diagnosing, etc if you’re certain and it means you’re getting the support that you absolutely need. everyone is deserving of help, whether healthcare wants to agree or not, EVERYONE deserves the help they need. but stop trying to make bpd sound fun. being euphoric is fun, the rest of it IS NOT. ITS FUCKING PAINFUL. thank u bye 💕
(ps. i hate making rant posts about this, but seeing people act like bpd is a “fun choice” in life pisses me the fuck off, every day is just pure fucking suffering. the people romanticising and hyping this shit up are the same people who will talk shit about any cluster b who is showing symptoms or having one hell of an episode. but this NEEDS to be out there x)
(edit: the amount of support i’ve had on this is unreal 😭❤️ i tried to word this the best i can but when i have a lot to say it often comes out making no fucking sense at all or something comes off the wrong way. i saw someone reply about the yanderes shit. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. i don’t know why the fuck people fetishise it, it makes me feel disgusting to have an fp even if i’m keeping as far away from them as possible. and also the “euphoric is fun”, i still do a lot of embarrassing and over the top shit when i’m euphoric that i regret. but in the moment, the happiness i feel i just embrace now because it’s not been often that i ever get to feel like that. thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, i really hope this post has helped y’all. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️)
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stuckinapril · 1 year
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how to feel like a person?
digital detox. if your phone was taken away, how much free time would you have? how empty would your day be? do you have things to do outside of scrolling endlessly on different apps? if you come to the realization that a lot of your time consists of being glued to your screen, you need to start considering incorporating no-phone time blocks into your day. a big part of our daily misery boils down to consuming so many things in 24 hours, to the point that we feel too burned out to do anything else that truly nourishes our body and soul.
establish a routine. discipline is so important for happiness. start out small—schedule your day, get consistent with your skincare routine, take daily walks—and then gradually add more and more things. don’t try to revamp your life all at once. that’s a surefire way to quit altogether. be realistic about your limits, but also push yourself where appropriate so you don’t stay static.
journal. mentalize your feelings. don’t suppress your emotions. be curious about your thought processes and what makes you tick. always be self-compassionate, but hold yourself accountable where it’s due.
start pursuing hobbies. make a list of all the things that interest you and try them out. there are so many things out out there; one of them is bound to stick. don’t go into it with the negative mindset that you know you wouldn’t like doing x and y. some things you might know in your heart are not for you, but don’t rule out possibilities you’re ambivalent about. be open-minded and see finding your interests not as a chore, but as an exciting prospect.
practice gratitude. this is such a popular advice bc it works. start off your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for. it’s crazy how so many people don’t realize it’s a blessing to just be alive, when so many people get robbed of their lives so early on. i’m not saying to never shoot for more, but having a foundation of contentment goes a very long way.
have a solid set of friends, but march your own march. you don’t need anybody; you just want them. same thing with friends. friends are good for us because we are a social species, but if one person were to leave your life, it’s not the end of the world. your life is already colorful, filled with so many things you’re doing for yourself—furthering your career, improving on your skills, working on your fitness—that a person leaving shouldn’t be detrimental. never be so dependent on someone you can’t envision a life without them. you need to make your life exciting on your own; you can’t have someone else doing all the heavy lifting for you.
have an abundance mindset. if one thing fails, that just leaves room for something better to take its place. you are always bound to find better. there are 8 billion people in this world. there are countless different possibilities. failure or loss does not mean it’s game over for you.
see pain as a learning experience. true growth spurts do truly come from heartbreak or failure. it teaches us to pick ourselves back up and try again. always have a growth mindset. that relationship didn’t work out? now you know what to avoid for the next relationship. you’re single again? now you get to focus on and learn more about yourself. that friendship ended? at least you won’t waste any more time on someone who doesn’t value having you in their life. you didn’t get that job? that leaves the door open for other possibilities. you didn’t get the score you wanted? now you know what to work on to do better next time.
action-directed things to improve your self-esteem. you can sit in your room all day and tell yourself you’re the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s obsessed with you, but truly building up your self-esteem comes not only from thinking positive things about yourself, but also acting on them. work on things you care about. work on yourself as a person. love who you are, but also strive for self-improvement. do things that can act as proof—to you—for why you’re worthy. it’s a game changer.
dispense of the victim-of-life mentality. it’s safe to dwell in your misery and keep blaming things on factors out of your control, but where would that get you? it’s just resulting in you expending your energy needlessly. stop seeing life as jumping from tragedy to tragedy. actively fight against your negativity bias. recognize that for every bad thing that happens, 100 good things happen, but we as humans have a tendency of focusing only on the negatives. sort through your emotions, make peace with what happened, but pick yourself up and move on. the most valuable thing we all have on this planet is time. it’s limited and it will come to an end eventually. you don’t want to look back and resent yourself for not simply letting go of things and appreciating what you have around you.
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uncle-fruity · 1 year
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HEY! HEY, YOU! YEAH! YOU!
Have you ever heard the phrase, "Your friends aren't your therapists"?
If you've been on the internet enough, I think it's a sentiment that's pretty difficult to miss.
But you know what that means, right?
It's meant to warn people not to place too much personal baggage onto their friends when they should be unpacking it with a professional. It's to say that venting to your friends shouldn't be your main source of coping. That is to say: most of your friends are probably unqualified to untangle complex emotional & mental health problems, and if you expect them to endlessly listen to your problems & have them help "fix" you, then that's usually going to end up in stress and tension in your relationship (or worse).
Do you know what "Your friends aren't your therapists" DOESN'T mean?
It DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't ever seek any emotional support from your friends or that you should keep all your problems to yourself.
Yes, it's important to establish boundaries in all your relationships. If there's something you'd rather not hear from your friends (and vice versa) that should be talked about if it ever becomes relevant. If your friend is easily overwhelmed by a lot of emotion/stimulus, then you shouldn't dump serious emotional things without checking in to see if it's okay first. Over time, in a healthy communicative relationship, you get a feel for what's okay and what's not.
But goodness fucking me when I see folks say that they don't deserve to express their harder emotions because "friends aren't your therapists" I just... I mean woof y'all!
What kind of friend is a friend that doesn't care if you're upset? What kind of friend sees you struggling with something and tells you to deal with your own problems because they don't owe you anything? What kind of friend comes around only if you hide your pain at all times?
A fair-weather friend, that's what kind. A friend that's only around for the good times, and goes away during (metaphorical) storms.
If someone only wants to be a fair-weather friend, that's their prerogative. But I'm telling you all that you deserve the kind of friendship where your friends actually give a fuck about you. You deserve to take up space sometimes. You deserve to get heavy things off your chest with someone you love and trust.
If you want better, stronger, healthier friendships, it's important to understand that intimacy is about Knowing and Seeing and Experiencing someone authentically. Taking off whatever mask we wear to get through the world and being ourselves and sharing that with another person. Anger, pain, grief... tackling these issues with each other builds trust and intimacy and makes everyone involved feel more important & needed & cared about. Isn't that what all this is for?
Anyway, this is all to say: be open about your emotions. Communicate with your friends (& tbh in all your relationships). Learn each other's boundaries, but don't shut each other out just because emotions are scary to navigate at times.
Please be kinder to yourself. Seek intimate friendships, AND seek professional help when you need more support than your friends can provide. Just don't assume your friends can't give you any support! Assume that they love you and trust that they will tell you if they're at their limit. And if they *are* at their limit or if they just aren't comfortable with some conversations, respect that & don't try to force it onto them.
This has been a PSA. Thank you.
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sunkissed-zegras · 3 months
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🌱 with luke!! going to see him play for the first tim in person at his nhl games
𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | lh⁴³
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♡ ─ word count | 585
♡ ─ warnings | luke being downbad for u, jack teasing you two (nothing too bad tho), just fluff!
♡ ─ ev's notes | this was such a fun blurb LOL
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You waited for Luke and Jack at the player's entrance, excitement running through your veins. It had been a couple weeks since you'd seen Luke and this was the first game you'd attended since he had officially signed with the Devils. Now after a great win, you and the others are planning on going out to eat to celebrate not only the win, but finally being able to see your boyfriend.
After the exhilarating win, the atmosphere outside the entrance was filled with joy and relief. As the players filed out, you scanned the crowd for Luke and Jack before finally spotting them among the sea of their teammates, your heart skipped a beat. Luke's face lit up happily as he caught sight of you, and he quickly made his way over, still flushed from the game as Jack followed suit.
"Hey, there you are!" Luke exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. "Couldn't have picked a better game to come to, huh?"
"That was such a good game, you did so well." You responded warmly as Luke kept his arm around you proudly. "I feel like such a proud WAG, like the ones on TikTok."
Luke laughed as he shook his head, "Oh yeah, that was the main goal - to make sure you get to brag about your boyfriend who's now officially in the NHL."
"How does it feel to be the best rookie this year?" You smiled, teasing him playfully.
Luke's cheeks flushed with a mix of modesty and pride. "Oh well, I mean... Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But it does feel pretty good. Hard work pays off, I guess."
"Don't let it get to your head, man. We need you focused for the next game." Jack playfully added as he looked at his brother, a smile on his face.
"You're too modest, Luke, you were so good out there." You grinned up at your tall boyfriend as he squeezed your shoulders.
Luke beamed at your compliment, appreciating your undying support. "Well, having the best cheerleader definitely helps," he said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.
Jack watched as you two shared a small kiss, letting out an exaggerated gag as Luke pulled away with an eye roll. "Jesus, can you two save the PDA for, I don't know, not in front of me?" Jack teased, earning himself a playful shove from Luke.
Luke shot Jack a playful glare, "You're just jealous because you don't have someone cheering for you so proudly."
You laughed at Luke's comment as he pulled you closer, earning a dramatic scoff from Jack. "Luke I've got fan-girls all over the world. If I wanted a girlfriend, I'd have one-"
"Whatever, whatever." Luke dismissed with a smirk, "I'm just saying, it's different when you've got someone who knows you inside out, someone who's got your back no matter what."
Your heart fluttered as you watched Luke, your lips beginning to hurt from all the smiling.
Jack rolled his eyes, a subtle smile played on his lips. "Shut up dude, save the relationship advice for later. Plus I'm living my best life right now. No commitments, no stress, no nothing."
Luke glanced at you with a smirk as you two bursted out laughing, causing an annoyed to leave Jack's mouth as he began walking away. "We getting food or what? I'm starving."
"Absolutely," you replied, still chuckling from the joke.
Luke slung an arm around your shoulders, and together, you followed Jack outside to the car.
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-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-
thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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sassycheesecake · 11 months
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Osamu Miya x wife!Reader "The Green-Eyed Monster"
“What’s he doin’ here?” A very tired Osamu irritably asks, as he spots his twin brother bawling his eyes out in front of you on the dining table.
You turn to your husband with an apologetic look on your face.
“Tsumu’s girlfriend dumped him because he was moving too fast into the relationship for her liking.” You explain.
Osamu’s eyes find his brother’s slumped figure over the table, sighing heavily before mentioning you to follow him into your shared bedroom with a motion of his head.
“Atsumu, I will be right back okay?” You assure him, feeling bad that he barely acknowledges your words, his empty gaze with red eyes trained on his hot chocolate mug that you previously prepared for him.
Walking into the direction of your bedroom, you see Osamu already starting to undress out of his uniform, turning to you, as you walk in and close the door.
“(Y/N) this is now the third time he came over cuz some chick dumped ‘im. And it’s only been five months. Don’t let ‘im in every time just cuz he’s my brother and ya feel bad for ‘im.” Putting his dirty clothes in the hamper, he walks toward the closet, picking out fresh clothes to put on after his shower.
“I know you don’t like it when he comes over unannounced but Samu, I can’t help but try to cheer him up. You know that he has trouble maintaining friends and we live closest to him.”
Osamu sighs at your statement, being tired after a full day at his restaurant is making him more irritated than usual.
“I can’t even remember the last time we had sum time ta ourselves (Y/N). He’s always here, almost hoggin’ all of yer attention just cuz some meaningless fling decided ta dump his stupid ass.” His tone starts to get angry, taking his clothes to walk into the direction of the bathroom to take a shower.
Reflecting his words, you start to get a bit angry as well.
“Well what do you want me to do Osamu? Slam the door in his face? If I remember correctly when we first started dating, YOU were the one worried that Atsumu wouldn’t approve of me and NOW you’re telling me he is ‘hogging all of my attention’?! What are you? 5?”
Ignoring you, he walks past you and slams the door of the bathroom a little bit and you soon hear the shower running.
‘Sigh, the famous Miya temper.’
Rubbing your temples, you walk back into the kitchen to see Atsumu putting his mug into the sink, grabbing his jacket from the chair with a blank expression.
“You’re leaving already? Do you want to stay over?” You ask in a quiet voice.
He shakes his head, looking at you with a hurting expression.
“No. Wouldn’t wanna hog yer attention for more than necessary.”
So he heard your argument.
Before you can retort anything, a loud booming noise interrupts you first, along with a heavy pattern of rain against your windows.
The sudden noise makes you flinch and Atsumu looks outside to see the horrible weather.
Looking at the time, it’s already past 11 p.m.
“Come on Atsumu, I think it’s better if you stay over. Don’t mind what Osamu said, he’s just tired after work. It’s late and the weather is horrible. Just stay in the guest room, I don’t feel comfortable sending you on your way in this weather.” You try to convince him.
The blonde shrugs, very quietly saying ‘okay’ that you can barely hear it.
Stepping down to the familiar direction of the guest bedroom, Atsumu steps inside and you follow him in.
The Setter doesn’t even undress, just walks to the bed and lays down on it to stare at the ceiling.
You sit down on the side of the bed, talking to him in an almost motherly gentle voice.
“Atsumu don’t take what Osamu said too hard, you know how he is when he is extremely tired. And about that girl, I know it’s not my place to say but don’t you think you should heal properly first before jumping into the next relationship?”
The sandy-blond turns to his side with his back now facing you.
Sighing in defeat, you begin to get up when his rough voice interrupts your actions.
“(Y/N), do you think I will ever find someone like you and Samu found each other?”
Halting your actions, you sit down again.
“Well, I am sure you will find your soulmate eventually. I mean with me and Samu, we just met and it immediately clicked.” You smile as you recall the funny way you and Osamu met.
You were driving in your car on your way to work to ‘Colors Of The Wind’, which is a local art shop that sells art equipment and all different colors in different utensils.
Singing along to ‘River’ by Ed Sheeran and Eminem, you don’t see a spider slowly making its way over your dashboard, not having a care in the world.
When you are about to change the song, you see the little creature of hell getting closer to you.
Screaming in fear, you move your steering wheel, crashing right into a dark gray car, whose owner has the same metallic eyes and even darker hair.
Having a small fight over the damage, you explained to the good-looking stranger that you screamed over a spider and he laughed so hard that he had tears in his eyes.
Exchanging numbers to the repair of the damage, you stayed in contact and here you are today. Married for three amazing years already.
“Tomorrow will be a better day, okay? How about I make you some gohan along with yakizakana?” You suggest to Atsumu before you leave him be.
“Will ya also make yer vanilla puddin’?” The Setter mumbles back with a little gleam in his eyes when he turns a bit to watch you.
Giggling at his request like a shy little kid asking for his favorite ice cream, you agree to make your vanilla pudding as well that he loves so much.
“Good night Tsumu, try to sleep a little bit.”
“Night (Y/N).”
Leaving the room, you close the door and put the dishes in the dishwasher before returning to your bedroom where you know Osamu will be.
Slowly opening the door, you see your husband leaning against the headboard, a small frown decorates his usual carefree face.
When you enter, he starts talking without looking at you.
“Can ya sit down please?”
Following his request, you lay in bed with him, leaning against the headboard with your shoulder, so you face him sideways.
Taking a deep breath, he looks at you with deep apologetic eyes and also a small hint of hurt.
“Baby I’m sorry for the way I was actin’ earlier. It was childish and unfair. I love ya so much and I love the way yer takin’ care of my brother.”
“Then why were you so upset?” You ask in confusion.
Osamu looks away from you with a pout, mumbling something that you couldn’t make out.
You lean a bit closer.
“What was that?”
He turns his face back, staring at the ceiling, saying it again but louder.
“I was jealous over yer attention on ‘im. I had a shit day at work today and I just wanted yer cuddles and kisses. When I saw that scrub in the kitchen, it made me more mad. I shouldn't have let my anger out on ya. ‘M sorry baby.”
Smiling at his words, you come closer to your husband to give him comforting kisses along his cheeks.
Sighing in bliss he lets you do as you please.
Stopping right by his ear, you whisper seductively.
“Want some make up sex and then you can vent to me about your day?”
Osamu turns to you with an excited look, quickly pushing you down to lay on top of you.
Giggling in delight, you let the former Opposite Hitter ravish you half the night.
The next morning
The smell of steamed rice and cooked fish is what rips Atsumu out of his dream of defeating Thanos, stretching his limbs and rubbing his tired face.
Remembering that you cooked for him this morning, he gets up very excited like a kid getting to open Christmas presents early and almost sprints out of the room.
Quickly slamming on the brakes what he sees on the counter, his stomach begins to get nauseous at the open PDA between his twin brother and you.
You’re sitting on the counter and have your legs wrapped around Osamu’s waist, your arms crossed around his neck.
The ravenette’s hands rest on either side of your thighs, lips locked together with yours as your husband passionately makes out with you, unaware of his sandy-blond twin.
“Really? That early in the mornin’? That’s gross.” The Setter says in disgust as he leans against the kitchen frame.
Letting go of you, Osamu turns fully around to look at his brother, with you leaning over his shoulders and his neck to look at Atsumu with a flushed face.
“Well scrub, get yerself a girlfriend or boyfriend, then ya will have this too.”
“Fuck ya and yer happiness, Samu.”
“It ain’t my fault that I have the perfect woman and ya don’t. Yer shitty personality drives them all away.”
“Ya know what ya little shithead-“ you interrupt before it escalates into a physical fight like the last million times.
“Okay, okay enough. Let’s eat together. I am not ready to deal with this without food in my stomach.”
Hopping down from the counter, you see the twin brothers glaring at each other.
“Samu, Tsumu, stop it. I mean it.” You threaten them.
The ravenette snaps out of it, looking a little bit scared at your scowling face.
Atsumu claims the small victory in his head of the stare off and almost starts drooling at the sight of the food at the table.
Calming down, the three of you sit down and enjoy the food.
“Itadakimasu.” The three of you say in sync, digging in.
The Setter looks in bliss when he chows down the food, already in a lot better mood than last night.
“So, when are ya guys givin’ me nieces and nephews?” He asks with a teasing smirk.
Osamu starts to choke after that, with you shaking your head at Atsumu, padding your husband on the back and waiting for him to calm down.
Not even five minutes later, you hum as you clean the dishes, while ignoring your husband choking and fighting his brother over the comment over the table.
What can you say, if you marry one Miya brother, you’re automatically married to the second one.
@rukia-uchiha-98 @nerd-of-karasuno @wake-uptoreality @darthferbert
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ninelivesastrology · 4 months
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Venus/Saturn aspects
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Little Deer (1946) | Frida Kahlo | Venus in Gemini square Saturn in Pisces
“I suffered two grave accidents in my life. One in which a streetcar knocked me down… the other accident is Diego.” | Frida Kahlo
In this painting, Frida depicts herself as a deer frozen in vulnerability, powerless and hunted. I am no Vedic astrologer, but one of the things I love about this painting is Frida having a Mrigashira Venus and depicting herself as a deer, the symbol of that Nakshatra.
Venus/Saturn people (as in people with a Venus/Saturn aspect) can waste years of their lives in relationships and friendships where they are not being appreciated and truly loved. Often, Venus/Saturn people can wait in isolation for platonic or romance relationships in attempts to avoid being hurt. Stretches of time between relationships, waiting for some mosaic of perfection within themselves or another person. Any type of rejection is a scar tissue, a phantom pain.
Because boundaries are something we create to control ourselves, not others, building these boundaries is a lengthy process. Self-governing feels too much like self-policing and taking yourself too seriously, but it is the only way.
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Peer pressure and the fear of missing out is a Venus/Saturn staple. Venus is a signifier of sociality, value measured in money and worthiness. One of Venus’ most well-known significations transcending astrology is love. Saturn signifies fear, restriction, pressure and power.
Together, Venus/Saturn aspects bring forth peer pressure, fear of missing out, power dynamics and settling in platonic and romantic relationships.
Love in itself is invaluable, but commonly used to control others.
It’s almost laughable how people are nurtured by a Venus/Saturn person and they bloom because the Venus/Saturn person knows dedication, patience and discipline. They learn to see the beauty in others when they need to learn to see it in themselves.
But Venus/Saturn people must learn to be careful with what they nuture. Sometimes you get a bad seed and even if you water them every day, wait for their season, they will not grow. While trying to force someone to grow, they will restrict your growth because they take up all of your time and energy, time and energy better spent on yourself. It corrupts the way you see yourself, making you see yourself as unworthy.
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Eartha Kitt, Venus in Aquarius besieged (or trapped by Malefics) between Saturn in Sagittarius and Mars in Taurus.
Venus/Saturn people must realize that they don’t have to shrink themselves to receive the love they want. There should be nothing they have to suppress, nothing they should have to give up. Venus/Saturn people should never stay out of fear, obligation or guilt.
Someone rejecting you or breaking your heart is not a measure of how valuable you are.
The lived experience of Venus/Saturn is realizing the love you seek is realistic, even if it comes from yourself.
The question is not, “Am I deserving of love?”
It is, “Do I believe I am deserving of love?”
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physalian · 2 months
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What No One Tells You About Writing #4 (100 Follower Special!)
Have you got any that deserve to be on these lists? Don’t be shy! Send ‘em over.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
*This list contains mentions of assault, #4
1. Zero cursing is better than censored cursing
I made the mistake in the early days of writing a self-censoring character, and every “curse” she said just took the teeth out of the rest of the statement. I’m talking gosh, darn, dang, etc, not world-specific idioms a la “scruffy nerf herder” or “dunderhead” instead of “dumbass”.
Look to any American TV show that so, so badly wants to use f*ck or sh*t but has to appease the sensitive conservatives who still somehow believe strong language is worse than graphic violence and horrifying psychological damage. For shame! Your characters can be angry without expletives, so rework your sentences to include equally damning insults that don’t resort to potty mouths if you’re concerned about ratings.
Or go full-throttle into the idioms of the world or the time period like Pirates of the Caribbean. Or just… don’t. There’s zero modern cursing in the Lord of the Rings adaptation and not a single sentence that censors itself. The dialogue is above vulgarity and feels more *fantastical* that way anyway.
2. “Yeah, you aren’t the target audience.”
It’s kind of hilarious seeing the range of reader reactions to two characters I intend to have a romantic relationship. Some will go “I ship it!” after the first page of them together… and another will go “wait, I thought they were just friends” up until they kiss. Sometimes you might be too subtle, other times it might be better to just accept that you can’t rewrite your entire book to please one naysayer.
When I’m pitched a fantasy adventure book that turns out to be a by-the-numbers romance where no one is allowed to be a peasant and every important character is royalty in some way, with a way cooler fantasy backdrop, I get severely disappointed. That doesn’t mean the book is bad, it just means I’m not the target audience.
3. There is no greater character sin than making them boring
Unless you live in the wacky world we find ourselves in where any flaws whatsoever are apparently harmful depictions of so-and-so and not at all written with things like ~nuance~. I will gush over your heinous villain committing atrocities because he’s *interesting*. I will not remember Bland Love Interest who’s a generic everyman with zero compelling or intriguing traits or flaws.
There’s another tumblr post out there that I cannot find that says something like this, and I believe the post goes “his crimes are fiction, my annoyance is real”. Swap annoyance for boredom and you get what I mean. So, I don’t care what your character does so long as they’re memorable. I will either root for their victory or their doom, but I do need *something* to root for.
4. The line between “gratuitous” and “respectful” is actually very thick
Less what no one tells *you* about writing and more what no one tells screenwriters. Y’all do realize you can write a character who experiences assault without actually writing the assault, right? Fade to black, have them mention it in their backstory, or have the horrific aftermath as they come to terms with it. An abrupt cut to this devastated character when it’s all over and they’re alone with themselves can be incredibly poignant and powerful. This goes with anything sensitive, especially if it’s not coming from experience.
If you want to write it or film it respectfully, romanticizing assault, for instance, is when it’s framed as if either character has earned or “deserves” it. If the narrative in any way argues that it's justified. The victim might have "earned" it for any of the BS reasons we use in the real world, or the perpetrator might've "earned" it because of temptation, desire, pressure to assert dominance, etc. Representation is important, but are you “representing” to shed light on a misunderstood and maligned topic, or are you doing it to satisfy a fetish or bias in yourself?
5. Don’t let your eyes get bigger than your stomach
Fantasy has no limitations, which means you can dig way deeper into the well of your worldbuilding than you realize, until you look up and realize you’re stuck down there. I have never seen a more obvious inevitable disaster looming than the pilot of GoT season 5. Why? Nobody has any plans. They’re all just led around by whatever side quest the writers throw them on, twiddling their thumbs until the writers deign to pull the trigger on the White Walkers.
To the point that what should be a major character can skip an entire season because his arc is meaningless. Everything in the last half of that show was one big “eventually” while the story toiled around in an ever-expanding cast of characters and set pieces (seriously, it’s hilarious how jarring the extended version of the theme music became compared to the pilot episode to fit all these locations).
When you have too many directionless characters, too many plot elements, too many ideas you want to fully mature and get their due spotlight and then somehow combine them all together for a common foe in the end, writing can get tedious and frustrating very quickly. Why, I imagine, the book series remains unfinished. Fantasy is great for being able to create such complex worlds, but don’t be the snake that eats its own tail trying too hard.
6. No one cares about your agenda if you insult them to push it
This deserves its own post but here we go. Peddling an agenda is a paradox: those who agree with you won’t need to be preached to, and those who you want to persuade will instead reject you further because they feel belittle and disrespected. This is why so many recent “strong female characters” fail on both sides of the aisle. Feminists see an annoying caricature of the movement they’re passionate about. Antifeminists see an insufferable, shallow, liberal mouthpiece when they just want to be entertained. You have failed both sides, congrats.
The answer? Write a strong, nuanced, well-developed character. Then make them a woman. I know this has been said before but this BS keeps happening so clearly the screenwriters aren’t listening. Entertain me first. Entertain me so well I don’t even realize I’m learning.
7. Today’s audiences won’t react the same way as tomorrow’s
Sometimes genres or tropes get oversaturated and need a few years to cool off before audiences are receptive to them again—teen dystopia, anyone?—that doesn’t mean your story is inherently bad because it’s unpopular (nor does it mean it’s amazing because it is popular).
You should always write the book you want to read, not the book that chases trends. I can pick up a well-written teen dystopia I’ve never read before and enjoy it. I can continue to ignore Divergent because it has nothing to say. Write the book you want to read, but then accept that you might make no money because no one else wants to read it, not because they think it’s bad. And, who knows? You might get a boom of chatter months or years down the line when readers stumble upon an uncut gem.
8. Your characters don’t age with you
Depending on how long you’ve been working on your world and what age you were when you started, the characters, concepts, morals, and story you set out to tell might no longer reflect who you want to be as an author when all is said and done. Writing can take years, some of which can be incredibly turbulent and life changing. I wrote the first draft of my first original novel in my freshman year of college. Those characters and that draft are now unrecognizable and has left a world I’ve poured my heart and soul into in limbo.
I’ve slowly creeped up my characters’ ages. My writing has matured dramatically. The themes I wanted to explore in the height of the 2016 election are just demoralizing now. That book was my therapeutic outlet and, as consequence, my characters sometimes reflect some awful moods and mindsets that I was in when writing them. But nothing in that world grows without me tending to it. It’s not alive. Despite all the work I’ve done, there’s still more to be done, maybe even restarting the plot from the ground up. When I think of what no one told me about writing, staring at characters designed by someone I’m not anymore is the hardest reality to accept.
If you think I missed something, check out parts 1-3 or toss your own hat into the ring. Give me romance tropes. Mystery, thriller, historical fiction, bildungsromans, memoires, children’s books, whatever you want! Give me stuff you wish you’d known before editing, publishing, marketing, and more. 
Also, don’t forget to vote in the dialogue poll!
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