#Alfred Red

[undinecissy]

James Wilby as Alfred Red in A Patriot For Me, 1995.

The Royal Shakespeare Company/Barbican Center/ London EC2

[mantareidraws]

Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

[ccccchepushilo]

I imagine alfred combed all the robins' hair in the middle section since they were kids (and they're still doing it) only damian's the only one who's been able to escape this fate

[cinnaflurr]

should probably start posting my commissions LOL, super cute batfamily sleep pile commission for @/upt0thestars!! :)

[luca-is-a-pengu]

The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen

[patronsaintofpink]

"erm actually Batman didn't teach any of his Robins how to handle a gun—" absolutely NOT. In Alfred Pennyworth's household? Don't make me laugh. Every single one of those kids have perfect trigger discipline.

[frappegoddess]

Damian dyed Tim's hair Joker green and spray painted his suit because he called Jeremy the Turkey annoying, so as revenge Tim threatened to cook Jeremy, and left a pile of feathers and a perfectly golden brown Turkey on the counter in the kitchen. Because there's no other way to get back at your lil brother than emotionally manipulating him into thinking you tried to eat his pet.

Safe to say, Alfred and Bruce were not impressed, and the only way they got Tim to apologise to Damian was through Jason saying "Crazy you have beef with a twelve year old."

[thefriendlyneighborhoodace]

sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.

this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

__________________________

Bruce: Can you pass the chips?

Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*

Bruce: No, the chips.

Dick: ???? … yeah? here?

Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*

Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?

———

Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)

*red robin and red hood snicker*

Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…

RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *

Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?

RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.

RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”

RR & RH: *dying of laughter *

———

Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Duke: … You sound like Alfred…

Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what

Cass: *furious nodding*

*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*

Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…

*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*

_______________________

anyways i just thought this was fun

[heylosers06]

Baby Damian! And with this loved one’s!

Honestly when I was first drawing it I didn’t realize how much he looked like SpongeBob until later 😭

[everwalldigan]

I love the fact that Alfred’s preferred method of communication is through food (if he’s mad at you he’ll make your least favourite food, maybe burn it a little on “accident” and if he’s concerned or proud he’ll make a special favourite etc etc) so that got me thinking… Bruce grew up with that way of communication and since brooding is effectively off the table cause hes always brooding, what would be passive aggressive ways he’ll show that he’s pissed off with somebody?

Bruce: *while handing out comm links he hands Tim the one that is most uncomfortable (it’s a tiny bit bigger in size than the others and He Can Feel It)*

Tim: seriously Bruce? You’re still mad about the Batmobile thing?

Bruce: *brooding intensifies*

Bruce: *giving out areas to patrol and gives dick his least favourite part of Gotham*

Dick: BRUCE PLEASE IVE BEEN PATROLLING THAT AREA FOR WEEKS NOW IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OFF YOUR “VERY IMPORTANT” DOCUMENTS OK??

Bruce: I’ll give you another area to patrol when my formerly perfectly kept folder is as NEAT AS IT USED TO BE!

Dick: ONLY ONE PAPER GOT A LITTLE DIRT ON IT AND ITS ALL INTELLIGIBLE!

Bruce: YOU CANT EVEN TELL IF ITS AN UPPERCASE i OR A LOWERCASE L ANYMORE! THATS A SECURITY RISK!

Bruce: *handing out protein bars during a quieter night and gives Jason a slightly smushed one*

Jason: *takes it and sighs dramatically* you know, I slept so deeply yesterday that I thought I came back from the dead again but, well, it came with a little less pain and emotional manipulation so I-

Bruce: *scowling so hard his cowl almost breaks, takes the smushed protein bar from Jason and gives him his own perfect one instead*

Jason: *smiles innocently in Alfred’s favourite*

[ditzybat]

tim: i’m a seventeen year old CEO of course i do drugs sometimes

bruce: tim i cannot describe how disappointed—

alfred: very hypocritical of you, master bruce. considering at 17 you and that harvey dent were running lines at that boarding school when you thought i wouldn’t find out

bruce: … carry on then…

[ashoss]

my lovely son waking me up to tell me he threw up.

us waking up my wonderful butlerfather to tell him he threw up.

[lilsoupboiii]

Even more of my personal favorite panels from s2 of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures

[jesterraconteuse]

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

[amorkuku]

If rrequests are still open I'd srsly love some Tim and Damii

sure 😊 🪁

[the-purple-possum]

100000% believe Jason bought this mug for Dick as a gag gift one year, and it back fired as now its his favourite mug, because duh, its from his baby brother.

Alfred has attempted to hide it several times, but to his dismay, its always back in use within a day.