#Drake sap

[goddessofbees]

Day 6 Bark / Sap / Wood

Stray Tim and Hemlock Jason

Anyone seen those fics with Jason with poison Ivy's power?

[hueberryshortcake]

hair down gosalyn not clickbait

[alternate-kiza]

Kid: Do you guys want to go golfing?

Luffy: No, it’s boring.

Law: I wouldn’t mind

Kid: Good because Drake’s coming

Luffy: Who

[incorrectjane-andthedragon]

*Modern AU* *Pepper and Rake have kids, who are now teens/adults* Peprake Kid: So my father, he's a very mystical man. He's- he knows every single bird that comes into his garden and he has a specific relationship with each bird. He's also really big on the moon. He's-like-okay, the best example I can think of is one time when I was like eight and my brother was like twelve, we were driving one evening, it was winter, so the sun was setting early, and he suddenly pulls over. And he's like: "Children, we have to get out of the car." Peprake Kid: So we do, and my brother is super embarrassed, and both of us are like "Dad, what's going on?" And he's like: "I just saw the reflection of the new moon in the car mirror." Peprake Kid: And then we looked at the moon for a little while. He had us bow to it three times and say "Good evening Lady Moon," it was this whole thing. Peprake Kid: Another time I was visiting home, and my father goes "Meet me in the upstairs room at dusk."...so I do. He's standing there, looking out the window, calmly drinking something. Peprake Kid: Apparently there's a family of raccoons that live in the neighbors tree, he has a specific relationship with each one. He wanted to show me.

[vcreatures]

A two for one post today.

Dragon posts for Smaugust.

The Maple Leaf Drake is a small to medium sized woodland dragon that populates temperate forests across the globe. Their unique body morphology allows them to hide, almost seamlessly, amongst vast maple forests. This physiological adaptation also extends to seasonal color changes throughout the year. They will live their lives hidden amongst the leaves, using their long proboscis bill to pierce through the bark of Maple Trees to extract the sweet sap, which makes up the majority of it’s diet. 

Incredibly skittish, the Fearful Precious Red Coral Drake lives it’s life hidden amongst Red Coral. It’s long proboscis-like mouth snatching up small unsuspecting pray. 

[honey-milk-depresso]

hello love, i adore your work.

could i get something with the batboys with a spider woman reader?

💜💜

I’m making them spiderperson cuz gotta stay GN for everyone to self insert themselves 🩷

BUT YEAHHDHWIAHFOAJDKSJX MORE BATFAM REQUESTS >:)))

Requests open until 1 Feb (GMT 8+)! Please read the rules on my pinned post (provided the navi post link to go to rules). Thank you!🩷🩷

***S/o is above 18, which means characters below are also aged up!

Batbros with a Spider-S/o

Dick Grayson

He loves you! You manoeuvre in the air and swing about just like him! Just that you got webs, cool!

Definitely joins you in hanging upside down, also loving to compete with you (lovingly) to see who can jump the farthest, or who can do the most bomb-tastic somersault with you and you guys have so much fun during patrol it’s not even patrol anymore.

Beating bad guys in the most dramatic, acrobatic way possible is definitely something Bruce and the rest of the brothers all sigh collectively because you two can be pretty chaotic.

But whatever, you two have so much fun jumping around.

Has taken you out on dates as Nightwing and your spider-sona, because even people around the city thinks you two are a match made in heaven. I imagined a pizza guy giving them a box and saying for them to have fun while swinging around with Dick and having pizza in between your teeth while you race to see who can reach the far end of a street whilst swinging and stunting about.

Overall, you two make a loveable couple of acrobats. <3

Jason Todd

He thought you were annoying at first, but even he can’t deny you make his day (most of the time).

He feels a bit irritated yet amused whenever you hang upside down and playfully greet him or joke with him while on patrol, sometimes in secret which scares the shit out of him when you pop out of no where and he starts cussing before letting out a long, exasperated sigh when he looks at you laughing to yourself. Damn spider…

But even so, he can’t help but dote on you, even if you can be an annoying ball of energy sometimes. He just can’t help but let you jump around him with your spiderwebs all over the house when you try to take something from afar, using the webs to pull it towards you. Although… you are a bit bashful and guilty for keeping his tidy room messy with webs everywhere that you help clean up which he appreciates.

On patrols, you’re usually faster than him and sometimes he complains so you just shut him up by scooping him in his arms and holding him by the waist with one hand before web-slinging your way to the location where the criminal gang is as he huffed. From afar at times, it looks like a grown ass man being baby carried or held like a big dog by some spider person across the high buildings, which he gets a little flustered over.

Regardless, Jason still loves you. Just don’t shoot the webs everywhere- <3

Tim Drake

He’s fascinated by you, how your webs work and how you can stick on walls with just your fingertips.

Tim might ask a lot of questions about your anatomy and what your spider body can do which sometimes annoy you but he’s just so curious he can’t help it. Genuinely.

Another one who you scare the shit out of with you surprising him by hanging upside down and popping your head down to face his out of no where, but he’s not like Jason who reacts very… dramatically, he’ll just recover from shock to contort into a pout and maybe gently flick your forehead to tell you to knock it off, although he knows you won’t.

Might be a sap for that upside down kiss where you kiss him upside down and all because of course he would be-

Tim loves asking you to use your web fluid for practically everything now. “Hey, s/o? Could you use your web fluid to stick this circuit board in here?” “S/o could you grab the remote with your web? Pleaseeeee?” “S/o, I kinda need your web fluid to close up the hole in my pants-” sometimes you gotta tell him that’s not gonna work sometimes, and those pants will look weird if you do that-

Overall, Tim loves his whacky, loveable spider s/o. <3

Damian Wayne

Also like Jason, he found you annoying. But this guy is hard in denial before he admits he even likes you.

Damian, at first, keep scowling at how annoying you can be with your web-slinging for fun and not for patrol, and getting web strings all over his suit after patrol from an intense fight against the criminal gang you two were assigned to take down. Now, he still scowls but with a blush and his heart skipping a beat because he can’t deny how cute you are even if you’re an annoying lil shi- (or maybe you ain’t little but you get the point).

Damian will tolerate you swinging about, although he isn’t scared when you hang upside down to spook him a bit because you literally can’t, his god-like sense of instincts would immediately pick up on you without even needing to turn to face you. Sometimes you joke with him that he has spidey-senses to which he rolls his eyes casually.

He won’t say it out loud, but he thinks you’re a pretty impressive fighter and you kinda remind him of Dick but you’re still unique. He just make sure your web fluids don’t go all over the place that you make a mess of the evidence for the police.

Overall, a tsundere for his spider s/o. <3

Reblogs help! ^^

[somefanficrecomendations]

Tim Drake-Centric Fic Recs

Your Honor, he’s just a little guy. My client can’t be charged with murder! He was just being silly!

16 november 1581 by DairyFarmer (gen), 8k, Protective!Bruce, Angst Bruce blacked out. He wasn’t sure what happened after those words left Jack’s mouth. All he knew was that the next thing he remembered was being pulled off of Jack Drake by several police officers. ---- Tim goes missing and there were times that Bruce wished he wasn’t such a good detective.

The Lone Ranger Never Had to Deal with Bruce Wayne by theskeptileptic (gen), 25k, Tim Joins the Batfamily Early Tim is an independent, clever, and super mature eleven-year-old. Unfortunately, his dopey neighbor, Bruce, can’t seem to understand that. When he decides to disappear on a “solo camping trip” and run away to Canada, he figures it’s the perfect plan that will make everybody happy. He didn’t expect the Waynes would tag along with him and ruin everything.

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans by Lilac_hyacinth (Tim Drake/Bernard Dowd), 6k, Hurt/Comfort That was a blatant lie. Dana had seen a handful of Tim’s landscape shots a few weeks ago. Jack might’ve spotted the ones she’d pinned to the fridge. Bruce saw plenty, if crime scene photos counted. But Tim’s favorites? His civilian-friendly favorites, the ones behind him? This was the first time anyone beside himself had seen them. And Jack wasn’t there. Or Tim's alone at another school event, Bernard helps.

Cryp-Tim by PrinceJakeFireCake (Tim Drake/Kon-El), 6k, Fluffy, Cryptid Tim The cons of dating Tim Drake were innumerous. For one, he was almost impossible to photograph, and so none of Kon’s friends at school actually believed he existed. His family was scary, horrifying really, and all of them seemed to find joy in making Tim regret ever being born. And Tim had charmed Ma and Pa Kent so thoroughly, they had ditched their shovel talk to instead coo at him and offer him pie and compliment him for fixing their tractor, so Kon was at a disadvantage when it came to intimidating someone with his family. Kon and Tim date. It goes pretty well, all things considered.

A Worthy Father by Crowlows19 (gen), 3k, Fluff and Angst Jack Drake forces his son to give up being Robin. He could never have predicted the consequences of parenting a Robin-less Tim Drake. He may never sleep again and Bruce Wayne certainly has no sympathy for him.

all you wanna do by jcp_sob_rjl_lmep (gen), 1k, Fluff, Video Game Sexualization Tim. Timothy. You are a superhero, sweetheart.” “And now I can be one in a video game.” When the character screen loaded, the room was silent for several seconds as both found themselves disgusted with the options. “Do they not realize that women have organs.” Bruce frowned. “And while I personally don’t have breasts, I’m aware enough to know that they don’t look like that all of the time.”

it's a beautiful day by MashpotatoeQueen (Tim Drake/Kon-El), 2k, Tooth-Rotting Fluff Tim and Kon are getting married, Bruce is an utter sap, and there is a father-son dance.

[brucewaynehater101]

Running over here to give an idea spawned from binging Pretty Cure transformations

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The Drakes uncover artifacts on land once owned by their very own ancestors, to which they are the closest related descendents of

This gives them the absolute rights to distribution, and considering they spend less time with Tim than desirable, it's gifted to their boy in hopes of bonding with him through their ancestry

The last thing Tim expected upon opening the vintage birdcage was for the perch to swing and the sudden appearance of an bearded vulture flying out and soaring all over the room

Even stranger? The bird looked like it came out of a painting, from the brushstrokes to the exaggerated colors, like, its feathers were a wine red instead of red-orange one would expect

Oh, and the cheering—"Free! I'm free! Child, did you free me from my prison? Splendid! Spendid! I can cast revenge on those dastard Drakes at long last! Long last!"

Unfortunately for birdie here, they've been imprisoned for so long that any Drakes who imprisoned them are long dead

Remaining descendents are all innocent in this conflict

"A shame, a shame indeed, but now that I no longer fear them, and you too are ignorant of why they did not pass down their evil, I should give thanks to you."

"Tell me your Deepest Dream, and I'll isee if we can fulfill it."

Introducing Mes'Dremere, a painting granted life by magics long ago

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I haven't developed quite a backstory, I'll leave it to you guys to brainstorm, but this vulture (they/them) isn't going to be having any beef with living Drakes since their sworn enemies died long ago

More trivia, their name is a blend of Mesmerize and Dream

They are far from the only magical being to slip through the cracks and go unknown for so long

Tim Drake, descended from a line with the power to ensnare one of Mes'Dremere's power, is a canary in the coalmine so to speak, seeing strange beings that appear to do nothing, but attach themselves to practically everyone, even Batman

And with every rogue attack, every act of corruption, and especially Arkham Breakouts they only grow more numerous

He can even photograph them

"This isn't my Deepest Dream, I still need to figure it out, but can you tell me if there's a monster on this man's head, or if I'm just hallucinating?"

"To think, to think, I would ever see such a thing again. My boy, an awful, awful evil has beat me here, such that it will cast this place into a greater despair than ever seen before, before."

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Hollowing Wish, entities as older than Mes'Dremere; they seek personhood, purpose, dreams and the will to go forward by feeding from unprotected and unsuspecting victims, so that they may finally end their everlasting hopelessness

But saying they are eating victims into depression isn't true. When someone, for example, expresses willpower, they release an energy the Hollowing Wish will then consume. A junk food compared to getting it from the source, right inside. It's not enough for them

Pursuing a fruitless path to ending their plights, Hollowing Wishes take but never give to even themselves, only continuing the ever downwards spiral

victims can include but are not exclusive to: people, animals, and objects granted oh so much love and care

Regarding the last one, objects have a dense core inside them of all the deeply held feelings towards them, whilst surrounding it are the passing feeling people have for it

In the rare case of a Wish attaching to a target for so long, the two will become one, becoming something that could be mistaken for a meta, alien or something else---this form is a Nightmare Awakening

they unleash their pain and greedily keep their happiness locked away in their head in a desperate bid to hold into the remains being sapped away from the brain---until the target is reduced to a hollowed husk with nothing left within

As for the Hollowing Wish? they fucjing combust since taking in joy fresh from the fruit pulp instead of the juice is more than they're built to contain, leading to surrounding area and beings being entrenched in brief happiness, and then an onslaught of magical despair until the magical despair in the area and people dries up over time

What is it that causes them to spawn? Who migrated here, bringing their anguish with them?

The Hollowing Wish is an extension of a will, a will in even greater despair---Praying For a Forever Demise

"To think it was a Forever Dream they prayed for long ago, but then, but then?"

"Their unending praying manifested into a terrible, terrible demise . . . a name so long is easier to call Praying. It too serves well enough in reminding us how we got here, does it not, does it not?"

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More tethered to the physical plane as one born into it, Tim is offered the power to become a hero himself, specialized to fight against the Hollowing Wishes

But he's just a fanboy! Wouldn't Batman or even Robin be better?

"Speaking from personal experience, he seems like far the man who would let these practices into his life, even with him having no other choice, no choice."

"Besides, besides, Robin must have his plate full, plate full. What better way to express your love for the Bats, than to ease their burdens, no matter how thankless, how thankless?"

"His own body can only go so far, hold so much, so much magic indeed."

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The streets have begun to talk of a boy . . .

"Magical Boy!" "Do you think Gotham is some kind of Sailor Moon episode?"

A boy without a mask yet crusading as the Bats do. Unrecognized like them; magic it must be

"I'm Dreaming of Robin," he says he is, "but I've never met Robin or Batman yet."

Colloquially, Dreaming Robin or Dream(s) Robin

He's found where the Bats won't be, putting a stop to crime, giving thankless aid, and other acts of public service

But stranger is that which he grants and insists people keep around their house for protection

Blank photographs that upon touch become depictions of the little things that grant a bit more joy

And less pressure on their shoulders

By Dreaming Robin's side is a vulture, a guardian calling themself Mes'Dremere

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Magical Boy Dreaming of Robin, Tim Drake. What does his arsenal hold? Listen Right Up!

[Materialized Eternity] is the ability to utilize photographs Tim takes by pouring his magic into his photos of choice

Say for example that Tim photographed Nightwing quadruple backflipping, a feat impossible for Drake

If Tim puts magic into that picture and he has it on his person, he will be able to reenact that quad-backflip just like Nightwing did, but doing so will drain the magic in the photo like a battery

After running out, the picture would need to be recharged on magic to be put to use again

That's just one way Tim can use the magic

[Lasting Photoshoot] the ability to pause time on entities and an area right after Tim takes a photo of for a short period of time

[Merry Memory] is the power to take a blank photograph and enchant it to protect people from magic by taking the image of something they love. It's Tim's go-to for defending people and himself from Hollowing Wishes

[Realization in Reach], Realization for short, is a magical staff and his primary weapon, as it can channel Tim's latent magical powers along with his gifted ones.

While feasible as a physical weapn, it gives Tim's magic more strength and a much wider area of effect. Emphasis on the more strength which Tim has to be careful about

[Forever Remember] is the power to photograph a Hollowing Wish that Tim defeats and thus seal them permanently within those photos

Photoed Wishes can be weaponized against other Wishes and Nightmares to make them fight for the same resources they crave. When weaponized wishes run dry, unlike Eternities, those Wishes effectively die and cease to exist

the photo becomes blank, and can picture something else

Tim also has safes with as much scientific and magical security employed, storing albums with Hollowing Wishes and Materialized Eternities to swap out 

Now for The Best Part yet!

"My Deepest Dream, I'll make you true!" A heirloom locket holding Tim's most precious photo of Robin he's ever taken, it is his chosen transformation item

(here's to hoping it never gets taken away due to that very picture within, because Tim won't be the only person fucked over by it)

As a rule of thumb, Dreaming Robin's outfit, his arsenal, and the photos he gives to protect against Hollowing Wishes all look like they came out of a painting, specifically what you get when googling "mystical painting"

Tim does learn some other magics that can be used to fight against Hollowing Wishes, Nightmare Awakenings and purify an area and people suffering the affereffects of a Hollowing Wish exploding and spreading their despair everywhere

Yeah Tim is gonna angst every time he fails to save a Nightmare Awakening before it's too late for them, poor him :(

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In unrelated news? Tim has himself a pet too well trained, yet several times proven unabused and pampered

American Robin Dreams Come True 'Dreams' who people swear came from a painting despite their vibrant feathers being so picturesque, and vibrantly red all naturally

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Gotham is yet again the source of insanity. That being strange monsters that abruptly show themselves to people before forcibly turning them into monsters

Thankfully, Dreaming of Robin always comes to save the day

Hollowing Wishes, he calls these monsters

Nightmare Awakenings, the victims are named

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Some extra deets

Haha depression go brrrr

Praying For a Forever Demise is like this due to how much anguish, and hollowness they hold, and the desire for joy they want &/or used to have

Maybe they got their depression all naturally, or maybe magical shenanigans lead to them possessing an ungodly amount of it inside of them idk, maybe a blend of both

But yeah, Praying is only going to put to a stop when help and empathy is placed in front of them, and the shot of a happy dream everlasting is finally in reach

Also uh, Praying isn't wholly aware of wtf is going on outside of their head as they stew in their despair, with the rare blips of hope provided by Hollowing Wishes

Their situation is similar to a powerful deity unaware of their godhood and untrained into their powers which need to actively be restrained, but that has evidently not happened

so yeah, they're unknowingly spreading their depression everywhere

Or maybe they have come to awareness that spreading Hollowing Wishes is what they're doing and have compartmentalized that, it doesn't stop their depression from being worse nor even more Wishes spawning but willful ignorance is intoxicating

idk how they traveled to Gotham either lol, but they're dead center in Arkham Asylum, and with it being the new source for Hollowing Wishes, its gonna became way, way worse than in canon

Also prior to being Praying For a Forever Demise, they were Praying For a Forever Dream, do with this knowledge what you will

Are other Drake artifacts magical as well? You decide!

For clarification, Tim's magical boy alias, "Dreaming of Robin" is maybe an accident where he just states that "yeah I dream of Robin, he's my hero" but people thought he was stating his name so it stuck

Or maybe he intentionally introduces himself like that for the symbolic name

Mes'Dremere employs a whitelist geass preventing people from finding out Tim is Dream Robin unless they're whitelisted

I'm thinking that Tim could accidentally snatch up future Waynes into his team, and under Mes' tutelage, Stephanie, Duke, Cassandra and maybe even Damian

I think Jason, after dying and reviving, and he alongside Damian due to the Lazarus Pits, would be especially vulnerable to Hollowing Wishes, so woof

Side note, I think Tim would offer Jason-as-Robin the chance to become a Magical Boy with him, only for him to decline and after resurrection thinking

"I should've taken the Magical Boy route when I had the chance," lmao

Idk if Tim would still become a Teen Titan here, but it'd be neat if all of the Young Justice core four and maybe more became/joined the magical boy & girl team

Since Arkham is a breeding ground of Hollowing Wishes, people there are the least likely to become Nightmare Awakenings since they all have countless Hollowing Wishes attached to them

that means several Wishes are fighting for resources against eachother to sap up expressed will/joy/accomplishments etc.

Because they're fighting over the same person, often dying in the process and others joining the fray in fighting over their victims, they often make little progress in making way to becoming Nightmare Awakenings

So yeah, where as Batman and the clan will be more focussed on their rogues, Tim is more worried about normies who are more likely to fall victim to Hollowing Wishes

That being said, he doesn't wanna see a rogue or bat become a Nightmare Awakening, so he gives them both tons of Merry Memories and get rid of as many Hollowing Wishes on them as he can

And he's rightfully afraid, all hell will break loose if they subcumb to Nightmarehood

Feel free but not pressured to expand on this as you all wish

A magical boy Tim AU? Hell yeah.

Some additional ideas to add:

Tim's outfit comes from the culture present at the time of when Mes'Dremere was imprisoned. Tim has absolutely no choice in this matter, which is an initial point of contention. However, it eventually becomes a point of pride and comfort

The culture is one specific to this AU (so there's no cultural appropriation). Similar to Atlantis, Krypton, and other lost societies, Tim starts to discover their practices, rituals, customs, etc when he's trying to connect to his roots (since it's also the culture of his ancestors).

Jason rejects becoming a magical boy because he's "a literature nerd, not that kind of nerd." Tim's a little offended by this, but they get over it quickly. Jason also grumbles when he gets the All Caste because he ended up becoming a magical boy anyways, just without the transformation scene.

There can be angst added where Jason says Robin is magic so he doesn't need to become a magical boy. Then Jason dies and ends up getting All Caste.

Tim ends up learning a lot about psychology as a nonmagical way to help people as well. If there are fewer depressive symptoms, there's less for the Hollowing Wishes to feed on. Also, mental health techniques/coping mechanisms can delay the progression into a Nightmare Awakening.

The YJ core don't end up becoming magical boys/girls except for Bart. They do team up, though, and Tim helps a lot in battles even when there aren't Hollowing Wishes.

Cass would definitely vibe with becoming a magical girl since there's no killing. She'd probably do both the magical girl routine and become a Bat cause she's awesome like that

Would Damian view the Wishes as creatures?

Tim is able to form a different type of friendship with Zatana, Raven, and Anita due to his magical status. He also likes to call up Constantine to bother the poor bastard (it's funny to him).

[magnoliasandarson]

the little engine

Timothy Drake was running on fumes. Whatever drive he'd had- whatever divine fuel that had once pushed him through sleepless nights and unwinnable fights- it was gone. Used up.

It left a chasm in his gut, the phantom burns of righteous fire and the knowledge that no matter how tired he was- he couldn't stop.

There was a slow escape of blood oozing from his ruined cuticles, like sap bleeding from a weather-beaten pine, it smeared onto the faded letters on his keyboard. His fingers didn't cease their frantic tapping, every fifth tap erasing the previous three. He couldn't think right. None of the words or numbers were the right ones, but he had to do this- he couldn't stop.

His eyes flickered across his darkened apartment to the framed pictures of his friends, fuck, he hadn't spoken to a single one in days. Between patrols, board meetings, city works projects, and cold cases he hadn't slept more than twenty total hours in the past week. They must hate him by now, he had sworn to message everyone but the great Timothy Drake was incapable of keeping a promise. His eyelid ticked as he downed the rest of his coffee in one go. It didn't matter if he was a bad friend, a bad brother, a bad son- he had a job to do, and he couldn't stop.

There was pain now, wrapping around his skull like a vice. He tugged at his hair and scrubbed his face with bloody fingers, grimacing at the tacky feeling of half-dried scabs. It felt like he had been maced, his eyes burned so horribly. But he clicked send on another solved case and opened the next, there were people out there that depended on him- he couldn't stop.

The sun was rising at his back, its warmth adding to the uncomfortable sweat that had started beading on his skin. A stray beam of light caught his darkened computer screen, and for a horrible split second- he saw himself.

If you were to ask him what happened next, he would smile an odd half-smile and say he finally took a nap.

But that wasn't entirely true.

The glimpse of his face- the heavy bruising under his eyes, the way his bones stood out against his skin, the cracked and bloody lips- it poured ice cold water on whatever embers had been left in his chest. He snapped his laptop shut and pushed it away, launching up from the table and shoving his chair several feet back. Air flooded from his lungs and tears, hot and acidic, carved their way down his face into the cuts on his lips. He careened to the floor in his kitchen, heaving and gasping- he couldn't breath but he couldn't stop.

Hours later, he would wake up again in darkness. The moon auspiciously absent in the sky, Tim Drake would see the dozens of emails marked URGENT, the notes from Oracle about suspected movements, the texts from friends asking how he was- and he would force himself to get off the floor. Because Timothy Drake was a hero, and he couldn't stop.

[dungeon-strugglers]

✨New item!✨ Gumnut Balsam Potion, uncommon

This pot of sticky red sap glows amber in firelight. Smearing the sap on your skin creates a protective layer of hardened resin, granting you a +1 bonus to AC for 1 hour. Applying the sap takes 10 minutes. If you are subjected to fire damage while the sap is active, you take no damage and instead the sap erupts into a fiery explosion. Each creature other than yourself within a 15-foot radius of you must make a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw, taking 4d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The bonus to AC is then lost and the sap burns away entirely.

Scraped from the sap-drenched scales of a gumnut drake, this sticky fluid is simultaneously very durable and highly flammable. It gives the drake its ability to passively catch insects and small rodents, who are attracted to its sweet and pungent scent. The drake acquires its name and sappy exterior from the copious amounts of gumnuts it feasts upon in the forest undergrowth. - 🖌🎨 Like our work? Consider supporting us on Patreon and gain access to the hi-resolution art for over 180 magic items, item cards and card packs, beautiful creature art and stat blocks, and setting pdfs with narrative hooks and unique lore!🧙‍♂️

📜 Credit. Art and design by us: the Dungeon Strugglers. Please credit us if you repost elsewhere.

[002yb]

I don't know, I just really like the idea of a reverse!robins au, you know??? Just little baby Dickie being an absolute menace to a slightly older Jason, and just being completely obvious with his little (huge, enormous, really) crush on Jason, and just Dick being a possessive and jealous little shit as a kid, before they started dating just cracks me up. And like everyone knows about his crush, but they all think its so cute and innocent, and it'll probably go away, right???? Right???? Something like this probably

https://www.tumblr.com/mlim8/691663407306440705/i-want-to-say-how-much-i-love-your-reverse-robins?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/mlim8/681971460563140608/jaydick-week-day-3-reverse-robins-soulmates?source=share

So I think I may have answered an ask with similar vibes here. (: Here's some thoughts inspired by the first link though! Super cute vibes, kudos to mlim8!

Dick emulating Kon because he genuinely believes Kon is the definition of c o o l g u y. Like, how else could Kon land Tim? The man is playing out of his league; he's a legend. Peak aspiration. Of course Dick is going to be smitten with his older brother's cool boyfriend; Dick needs to learn all the tricks of the trade. He's got his own babygirl to win over. C:

(The term 'babygirl' comes from an overheard conversation and while Kon laughs about it, Tim gets so embarrassed. Despite how he tells Dick to not say that, Dick refuses).

Anyway, Kon? Thriving. Some might call his moves cringe, but Dick is so earnest and hopeful and Kon feels like fucking superman no one can touch him. ;U;

Damian nagging both Tim and Jon about Kon's influence on Dick because Dick won't listen to him; he can't be deterred and Damian is losing his mind over how Dick keeps winking and finger gunning and throwing out these truly terrible, punny lines at Jason and ahhhhhhhh

Basically Damian not liking Kon because of the impact he's had in Dick's life. It's created a hassle for Damian, but more than that? Big brother might be a little jealous. ;3;

Extra detail: Damian didn't like Kon even before Dick came into the picture because he became a distraction for Tim. It's an ongoing argument between Damian and Tim, actually. Damian is convinced Tim keeps Kon around for the sole purpose of annoying him (this isn't the case, but Damian is convinced)

Tim scoffing about it and telling Damian that his envy is showing. Just get laid, damn.

Which Damian gets indignant because no )<

To which Tim smirks a bit and purposefully badgers, 'Alright, Brother Complex (affectionate nickname), if you're threatened by our baby brother stealing Jason from you, then—‘

And Damian hisses because shut up, Drake. Fuck forbid father hear such crass speak omfg Damian will bury Tim himself.

Jason does have a crush on Damian though. The brother complex goes both ways. Or rather, it's a transference sort of deal for Jason that lingers big time because in this verse, Damian chose to save Jason from Joker, consequences be damned. The point stands, Jason is very sweet on Damian.

When Dick realizes this, devastation. Betrayed by his own partner!? Because...maybe Damian would have a similar batman stint where Dick was his Robin?? Yes.

Anyway, Dick refusing to talk to anyone, even Jason. Which is how they all know Dick is distraught.

So despite how it pains Damian, they send in the b i g g u n s: Kon. (:

Who hypes Dick up so hard. Just a bro looking out for his little man, y'know? Kon might hype Dick up a bit too much though because when Dick finally leaves whatever high nook he's sequestered himself away in?

Dick walks right up to Damian and challenges him for Jason outright and the family is caught in a perpetual state of ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) because omfg Bruce is right there watching this play out and Jason is his babygirl, first and foremost.

But Damian accepts the challenge if it means having his brother back. And Damian, the sap, kneeling and drawing Dick in for a hug because fuck, having Dick be mad at him? Someone so happy and hopeful and wonderful? It was like a stab to the heart ngl.

And yes. While Damian's brother complex persists, there's zero intent to act but he still plays into this challenge of Dick's because it's highly motivating for the little punkass twerp.

Meanwhile Jason is just...there. Dumbfounded after Dick winks and shoots finger guns his way with a declaration of: 'you're gonna fall for me some day, babygirl.' But don't worry, Dick will catch him.

And Tim groans because Dick, please.

[alternate-kiza]

Drake: Young Ghost was wild

Kid: Which memory is it?

Drake: This one time when I was visiting, Ghost went into the forest.

Luffy: Yeah, and?

Drake: He was in there for two days and no one seen him in those two days.

Law: Did no one go looking for him.

Drake: No, they did. When Me, Raid, and Mylu got back Dad and Vault asked where he was.

Kid: What did you tell them?

Drake: That he ran off.

Law: I think that didn’t help at all.

Drake: It didn’t, but after two days he came back dragging a boar covered in blood.

Kid: Knowing him he said something when he got back.

Drake: Vault ended up asking him where he was at? And I kid you not his reply was-

Apoo: I saw that boar, I wanted to kill it.

Luffy: I hope there’s more of these stories.

Kid: There are, you don’t know what he was like with me.

[uncaaj]

Fanfic: Turnabout Union (DuckTales 2017 x Ace Attorney)

Inspired by THIS post by @ravenconspiracy and @georgiarose

READ NOW ON AO3!

“Ah, Mr. Crackwright,” said the secretary, tapping away at her dated computer. “They have you in Courtroom No. 4 today. I’ll call a bailiff to escort you.”

The lawyer in the blue suit nodded. “Thank you.” It suddenly dawned on ace attorney Fenton Crackwright how much this felt like the first time, despite it being the hundredth time.

Opening the door to Defendant Lobby No. 4, he saw the first defendant he ever saved, a poor unlucky sap by the name of Drake Butz.

Fenton straightened his magenta tie and waved, “Good morning, Drake,” he said in a warming voice.

His client was slumped over the firm leather sofa, head in his lap, hands gripping his shaggy hair. “What good is it, really? She isn’t here, and once again, I’m the guy they pin it on.”

Fenton shook his head and walked over to his lifelong friend. “It doesn’t help when you have a history of breaking and entering, however noble it is.” He held his hand out.

“You know he’s gonna bring that up, first chance he gets!” Drake whined, taking Fenton’s hand and letting the attorney hoist him to his feet.

“I’ve handled Donald Payne before,” said Fenton, brushing down the wrinkles in Drake’s purple jacket. “There’s not a claim he can make that the Court Record can’t refute.”

“Or that you can’t bluff your way out of,” Drake pointed out.

Fenton brushed his long hair back with a nervous chuckle. “Or that.”

He never intended saving his case at the last second and bluffing on everything to be his signature strategy, but Fenton Crackwright’s cases required the kind of tenacity and perseverance that only he was capable of.

Fenton set a hand on Drake’s shoulder. “You know I believe in you to the end.”

Drake straightened up and smiled. “Thanks, Fen.”

Fenton backed away from Drake as his attention wandered around the room. The mahogany furniture, plain walls decorated with stuffy landscapes, and two bailiffs standing at attention carried an aura of importance. This place could make or break a person, entirely at the hands of two lawyers passionately presenting their facts to sway the judge. 

“You know,” Fenton remarked, “I can’t help feeling some semblance of deja vu. It’s been such a long road to get here, with hurdles and detours, and grueling battles. Every murder is horrific, but somehow a murder case involving you almost feels normal.” Fenton turned around and flashed a nervous smile. “I hope you don’t think I’m minimizing your case.”

Drake shrugged. “I know my reputation precedes me. ‘When something smells’ and all that.”

“If you feel this is normal, Crackwright, I would suggest rising from your laurels.”

Fenton startled, sensing a ghost in the courthouse with a voice he hadn’t heard in months. He turned toward the lobby entrance and took a step back, eyes widening at the sight of what might as well have been a ghost. A tall lanky rooster in a magenta suit with a frilly cravat hanging from his neck walked gingerly inside, hands behind his back. His cold, tired face carried years its owner had not earned in the tradition of time, but had been burdened with through unfortunate circumstances.

��Fenton,” greeted Gyro Edgeloose.

Fenton cleared his throat, words sputtering in his bill. “Gyro! Y-you’re back!”

Drake’s bill dropped open. “Edgey?! Well, whaddaya know, the gang’s back together!”

“Wh-when did you get back into town?” said Fenton to his long-time rival.

The demon attorney looked away. “Last week.”

Fenton was knocked off his feet from shock. “And you never thought to tell me? Tell any of us?”

“I’m surprised Detective Launchpad didn’t shout it from the precinct steps,” Gyro remarked.

Fenton jumped up. “…you told Detective Launchpad first?!” His feet pulled him closer to Gyro as the words poured out of him. “Y-you disappeared for months! I could barely sleep most nights wondering if Edgeloose might turn up tomorrow!”

Drake shook his head and sat back at the bench. “I feel like I’m watching one of your mamá’s soap operas, Fentonino.”

 Gyro crossed his arms and looked away, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, but you had no need to worry so rashly. I was merely undertaking some self-discovery.”

“That’s not what someone says after they disappeared without a trace,” said Fenton, slipping into his pressing voice.

Gyro rolled his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous. Have you learned nothing since I’ve been gone?”

Fenton was tiring of this. “I would sooner ask you the same question! What self-discovery journey leaves you just as closed off as before?”

“And you are still as emotional and distracted as before!” Gyro exclaimed, “We’re on opposite sides of the law, Crackwright! We have to face each other in five minutes time!”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t still care about you!” yelled Fenton, pointer finger outstretched. “Why can’t you open up to me?!”

The world flashed negative for a split second then all Fenton saw was the rooster, his enemy turned fellow truth seeker that abandoned him. Fenton knew what was coming next. The warmth of the jewel around his neck told him so. It just never failed to catch him off guard, at his most vulnerable. The chains only he could see whipped past him and wrapped around Gyro. Fenton steeled himself as the last piece of the puzzle slammed into place.

The Psyche-Lock he had yet to crack. That was why.

Fenton rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You frustrate me, Gyro. We’ve known each other forever…we put the people behind both our demons behind bars…and yet you still remain closed off to me.”

Gyro rubbed his arm, looking away. “Then why don’t you? Get it over with and break me down like I know you want to?”

Fenton paused. He had never been more sure of what he needed to say than this moment. “Because I don’t have the evidence I need right now. In court and in life, it’s all we have to change minds. But I swear to you that whether you want it or not, I’ll be there for you. We’ll meet in these walls and outside until I have what I need to truly understand you. However long it takes.”

The air between the two lawyers hung there for a moment. Fenton much preferred this over flying by his seat in the courtroom. He didn’t need to grasp at straws, didn’t need to flounder above water to maintain his case. Here, with Gyro, the pressure was off and they could just be.

“You helped me find the truth,” Fenton said, “You can’t go through life alone anymore.”

Gyro adjusted his stance with a long, wet sigh. “Once again, you’ve saddled me with unnecessary feelings…feelings that I can’t deny or admit I dislike. Feelings that are against all I’ve been taught to believe. The truth isn’t human like we are.”

Fenton smiled and closed the gap dividing them. “That’s what’s beautiful about it, about us. Truth changes us.”

“You may be right, Fenton,” said Gyro, “How did you grow so much unlike me?”

“You rubbed off on me, Gyro,” said Fenton. “You changed me. Maybe I can return the favor someday.”

“Defendant!” 

The wood of the defendant lobby returned to view. Both lawyers blinked and turn to the source of the voice. 

“Court is about to begin,” barked the bailiff. “Please make your way inside the courtroom.”

Returning their gaze to each other, they realized how close their beaks were from meeting with a start. Fenton stepped backward with a nervous chuckle.

“Think about it, Gyro. It can start as simple as you’d like. With burgers, even.”

Gyro chuckled despite himself and returned the smile that continually served to humanize him. “I will consider your offer.” With that, the prosecutor took his leave.

“Good luck, Gyro!” Fenton called. “But not too much.”

Gyro chuckled as he opened the door. “Same to you.”

+++

“All rise!” echoed the bailiff’s voice. All voices quieted down and each member in attendance rose to their feet. “The Honorable Judge Scrooge McDuck presiding!”

A duck with sideburns emerged from a door placed high above the courtroom floor. The only sound bouncing around the hallowed walls was his footsteps, hidden by his flowing black robe. He took his seat and took hold of his gavel.

“Thank ye,” he said, “Be seated, everyone.” With the crack of his gavel, all in attendance returned to their seat, except for the two lawyers placed at either side of the foot of the judge’s pedestal

“Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Drake Butz,” said the judge. “Mr. Edgeloose, I understand you were brought in at the last minute to replace Mr. Payne. Are you ready for what’s to come?”

Gyro cleared his throat and addressed the judge. “Nonetheless, I am happy to be back, and you can rest assured…” He looked toward Fenton, features hardened with determination. “The prosecution is ready, Your Honor.”

That look told Fenton everything he wanted and needed to know. His new adventure with his former rival was now under way, and he was prepared to face whatever it would bring. As long as Gyro Edgeloose was by his side, the path to truth was always clear.

“Very well,” said the judge. “Are you prepared, Mr. Crackwright?”

Fenton nodded. “The defense is ready, Your Honor.”

[batfam-slash]

“So.” Jason casually traces his fingers up the muscled planes of Slade’s bare chest. “How long do you think this job will take?”

He deliberately doesn’t look the older man in the eye, choosing instead to tangle their legs together beneath the covers, and ignoring the way his heart beats faster when Slade pulls him close.

“Told you, kid.” Lips brush against Jason’s hair. “It’s gonna take a while. Hard to give a specific timeline. Could be four months. Maybe five.”

Jason ignores the way his eyes sting. He’s not gonna fucking cry because the guy he’s been fucking is going away for a few months. No way. It’s not like he’s gonna miss Slade.

“You’re not gonna be in Gotham for another five months?” Jason swallows, his voice thick.

What’s there to miss anyway? The sex is good, sure, but it’s not as if Jason can’t get sex elsewhere. And he doesn’t need all the stuff that’s started to come with the sex lately; watching movies together and eating meals together and talking about their fucking lives-

“It’ll fly by,” Slade says softly, squeezing Jason’s bare ass. “Besides, you’ve got plenty of options when I’m not here. Grayson, Drake, your redhead friend with the arrows-“

“I don’t want options,” Jason blurts out. “I want you.”

He buries his face miserably in Slade’s shoulder. The truth is there’s no one who could possibly fill the void that Slade will leave. And he doesn’t want anyone to.

“Jason.” Slade tilts the younger man’s head up by his chin. “You know I have to do this. I accepted this contract a while ago. Don’t pout at me like that.”

“I’m not pouting,” Jason mumbles. “It’s just…it’s such a long time.”

He hates how whiny he sounds.

“C’mon, kid. Don’t get bratty with me now.”

Slade’s voice is soft, fond. He strokes Jason’s cheek gently. It’s that familiar tone that has Jason’s stomach doing somersaults.

“Will I be able to call you?” Jason asks quietly. “Or text at least?”

He hates how pathetic he sounds. How desperate.

“Sure, kid. Can’t promise every day, but there’ll be time to talk.”

Jason’s tongue feels heavy. “And will you have…options too?”

He’s suddenly pulled into a kiss, gentle but thorough. His heart hammers in his chest.

“Sweetheart. There’s only one option for me now. There’s only been one option for me for a while now.”

“You’re a sap, old man,” Jason laughs, finally allowing the tears to fall. “Knew you liked me all along.”

Slade chuckles, cupping Jason’s face in one large hand. “You’re gonna be a good boy for me while I’m gone, aren’t you, Jay? You’re gonna be on your best behavior.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah. I won’t cause trouble.”

“You sure about that kid? Last time I went away I seem to recall you started a gunfight with some of Sionis’ men.”

“Oh my god, it was not a gunfight. Jesus. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do anything crazy. Just…hurry back, okay?”

Slade smiles. “You know, kid, I used to avoid coming to Gotham at all costs. I used to think it was the biggest dump on earth. But now its my favourite place in the world. Every time I leave I can’t wait to come back.”

It’s the closest Slade has ever come to saying that he loves Jason.

And for now that’s enough.

Jason tries to memorise Slade’s scent and the feeling of his lips, his hands, his skin, as they kiss.

It’s going to be a long five months.

[smittywing]

Ficbit 8: Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Previous parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Possibly Bernard is not just cannon fodder.

~

Jason laid low for the next few weeks. There was a world-ending event that he noped out on and he entirely skipped one of the Riddler’s rampages by volunteering to substitute for Dick on an off-planet Titans mission. Dick and Tim got a lot more fun out of the Riddler than Jason ever did.

But eventually, Tim called for help and Jason was the closest. 

Insectoid, three of them,and Robin was backed onto a roof by two while the other one poked holes in the asphalt below.

“Were these people?” Jason asked, landing on the rooftop and firing some rubber bullets in a gap between the carapace. One of the insectoids shrieked.

“Nope,” Robin replied. “Feel free to use the real things, but I need you ground level, this was some kind of restaurant experiment gone wrong and there are people down there.”

“Sure you’re okay up here?” Jason checked.

“Bernard’s down there,” Tim said, and oh. Of course.

“On it,” Jason said crisply and fired off a rappelling grapple. He swung easily to the ground and shot the knee out of the rampaging ant-thing on the ground. Well. One of the joints in one of the legs. Close enough. He didn’t actually have regular bullets on him because Gotham crime tended to be human-on-human or sometimes sentient-meta-on-human. But he certainly didn’t feel bad about using the rubber bullets at close range.

“On your six!” Great, citizen participation.

“Get down!” Jason roared and then spun on his heel to - 

See Bernard Dowd, formerly known as Cannon Fodder, connect a solid roundhouse punch into the side of the insectoid’s leg joints.

What the actual shit.

“You just,” he gasped out with no idea how he was going to finish the sentence.

“I’ve been practicing!” Bernard called, his sneaker connecting with another appendage.  “Keeps me in shape!”

“Great.  Don’t die,” Jasons called back because Timmers would fucking *kill* him.

~

No wonder Replacement was so over the moon for this guy. Bernard was actually useful. Yeah, he wasn't going up against Shiva or taking the World’s Most Awesome Axe to any parademons, but Bernard was sufficiently competent to keep himself and some bystanders alive while Jason cleared the deck. 

“Nice job,” he said reluctantly when the identified threats were down or in retreat. “You should get to safety though.”

“Nah,” Bernard said *right to Jason’s fucking face. “My boyfriend, Tim Drake, will be back in a minute. Nothing's going to happen to me when he's around.”

“Uh.” Jason was speechless. Quipless. Wordless, even. “Okay?” 

Was Bernard legit telling Jason that he knew Tim was Robin? 

No. 

Yes?

Jason tilted his head. 

Bernard blinked. He looked calm and confident. 

No. 

“Bernard!”

And sure enough, there was Tim Drake, jogging up to them. 

“Okay,” Jason said to Bernard. “I’m out of here. Scream like a girl if you need me.” Tim gave him the hairy eyeball and Jason, who hated Bruce's disappearing bullshit, went with his grapple gun for the quickest possible exit. 

~

“Hey, your internalized homophobia is showing,” Tim greeted Jason about three hours later. 

“Huh?” Jason asked eloquently. Replacement was in his territory this time and his only reason for being there seemed to be policing Jason. 

“Scream like a girl?” Tim prompted. 

“No.” Jason stared at him. “You know I said that long before you came out. You do not get a buy for being gay.”

“Bi,” Tim corrected, smirking. Jason let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. “I get a buy for being bi.”

“Also,” he said, and smacked Tim upside the back of his head. 

“Hey! What was that for!”

“You let me call your boyfriend Cannon Fodder for *months* and you knew he could fight!”

Tim grinned, and again Jason wondered at how talking about Bernard lit up his face. 

“Yeah,” he said, sounding like a complete and total sap. “I mean, he doesn't have our training but he….” Tim fucking *blushed.* 

“Oh my god, stop,” Jason said, because vicarious embarrassment was apparently a thing that affected him for the first time ever. “I’m just saying, he’s not complete Cannon Fodder.”  

“He's been kidnapped four times,” Tim said matter-of-factly. “I’ve started calling him that in my head. Don't tell anyone.”

“Anyone?” Jason asked after a beat, because Blondie would *love* this. 

“Don't even think about it,” Tim warned. “You know Steph would sell me out in a heartbeat.”

“How did you know I was talking about Blondie?” Jason demanded.

“Who else were you going to tell?” Tim asked. “Bruce, Tim let me call his boyfriend Cannon Fodder even though he can probably beat up the Riddler.”

“Did he beat up the Riddler?” Jason asked, because the Riddler *had* been rampaging last week and at this point, he’d believe it.

“No,” Tim said and then blushed. “A couple of his goons, yeah. He solved some of the riddles, too, which was fun.”

“Huh. Didn’t realize he knew the Secret. Does he know who I am?”

“What? No, he doesn’t know I’m Robin,” Tim said. “Riddler did the thing like in Keystone City a few years back and just airdropped a bunch of riddles on Midtown. So I picked some up and we figured them out, but he just thought we were doing it for fun.”

“Are you sure?” Jason asked, thinking of their most recent interaction. “Because I think he knows.”

“Wow,” Tim said with a sigh. “My life would be so much easier if he did.”

~

Turns out Bernard knew exactly who Tim played dress-up as at night. He spilled the beans by rounding up Batman and Robin, Nightwing and Batgirl, Spoiler and Orphan, and half the marina to save Tim and Kate from the weird cult they’d infiltrated.

Jason wasn’t invited.

It was fine.

~

It wasn’t actually fine. Tim’s pupils had officially gone heart-shaped and being around him made Jason want to throw up a little bit in his mouth. He and Bernard did a lot of canoodling on the boat and Tim didn’t seek out Jason to discuss investigations or be extra muscle on his cases.

Jason missed Tim.

It wasn’t exactly something he was going to advertise so he kept to himself and patrolled his area of Gotham without venturing into anyone else’s territory.

Some people didn’t have the same compunction.

“You’re not coming to Tim’s birthday party?” Batman demanded. Because of course Bruce got dressed up in his scariest costume to come harass Jason about his social calendar. “I thought you were working to integrate more closely with the family.” 

*I thought you were trying.*

“Maybe that was a mistake,” Jason said roughly. “Maybe I fucked up, old man.” He stared out over at the city, a collage of lights and shadows, beautiful and deadly, and superceding everything else, *home*.

“Hrm. Oracle. Is this roof blacked out?”

Jason didn’t hear the answer but a second later, Bruce pushed the cowl back. Jason turned his head automatically, like he was compelled to make sure it really was Bruce under there.

“Tim’s disappointed we haven’t heard from you. He assumes you’re not coming.”

“Good detective work on his part.” Jason approved. “Because I’m not.”

“When I was your age,” Bruce said, and then winced. “This is making me feel old.”

Jason tossed him a look that was meant to mean, *get on with your point or get off my roof* but may have included some, *there’s some self-awareness for you.*

“Anyway. I had a crush on someone I shouldn’t have,” Bruce confessed. “Someone married, actually. He wanted to stay in the closet. And he did. I never told him how I felt. And I lost him.”

Bruce put his hand on Jason’s shoulder and Jason felt like his insides were caving in.

“I have a lot of regrets,” he said. “Don’t be me.”

“So you’re saying I should just barge in and break up Tim and Bernard,” Jason asked, letting go of all his secrets. After all, who was he, trying to hide something from Batman?

“No,” Bruce said. “But I’m on your side, Jaylad.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Bruce said, pulling his cowl back up. “I don’t want that kid to be cannon fodder but he’s really intent on putting himself in the middle of everything.”

“You’re never on my side,” Jason accused.

“How are you always so sure which side I’m on?” Batman asked, and stepped onto the brick wall lining the roof. He shot a grapple and paused before jumping. “Don’t let this be the thing that defeats you.”

And he was gone.

~

[childhoodmeetsfromsoft]

Spiny

To the tune of "Shiny" from "Moana" (We open on the TARNISHED entering BAYLE the Dread's arena, with IGON behind him. BAYLE looks up at them and starts singing) BAYLE Well, this old dragon is a massive fucking deal I used to break every drake once Then Placidusax made me a three piece meal But I'm not pitiful, baby Did your maiden say, level up your stats And dodge and roll with each new try I need three moves to tear her argument apart And then you die Because I'm too spiny I'm a middle finger plus a vigor check LOL get wrecked Because I'm so spiny And next to my hitbox you are just a speck Save your neck And just go You're so dumb, dumb, dumb Chasing healthbar-having critters Beginners And so you come, come, come To the lord of firespitters You're such winners I just love good grub And you should get good, scrub

IGON (spoken) CURSE YOU BAYLE! I HEREBY VOW-- (BAYLE lazily crushes him with one claw and picks him up) BAYLE Well, well, well, little Igon's making trouble in this bout You fake mistake of a drake warrior, oh, What a terrible performance, bail out (get it?) You don't shoot me like you used to, man And yet I have to give you credit for your schtick And your revenge-driven design At least I would, but you stole that from Moby Dick Now suck on mine It's huge and it's spiny Like my hitbox, which is half the fucking map It's a trap My trap is so spiny Like this fight, you are a broken piece of crap Now get clapped, Igon man You can try, try, try But you can't expect your arrow war To beat a pterosaur (look it up) You will die, die, die Now it's time for you to curse my name And close the game Go touch some grass and abandon your console. Defeat of Souls bosses won't make you accomplished. Your skill is just cap Like that dumb Ahab-cosplaying sap Loser! Cope and seethe and get all whiny 'Cause my moveset is so spiny You can't dodge it 'cause it never ends you see Can't beat me, little flea I'm too spiny Every move I get another AOE Just for free You'll never be quite so spiny Your hitbox isn't quite so spiiiiiinyyyyyy! (The TARNISHED stabs him in his rear claw and his health bar ends) BAYLE Fuck.