#I have an essay about my thoughts on the details in this piece.... ask me about it if you want to know LOL

[ximuori]

I'm starting an illustration series about Tono's relationship with each of her party members! Up first is her twin sister Tuit :)

Tono and Tuit are very close and share a lot with each other, but there's a constant undercurrent of unspoken tension between them about their shared past. They're simultaneously very similar and exact opposites. They're whispering to each other in the corner, definitely about You. They're Leos they're codependent they have agreat capacity for cruelty and love. Hope you like them <33

[multifandomimagin3s]

They have a crush on you (HC's) - Team 141 + König

Requested by Anon

Simon "Ghost" Riley

*Honestly I could write an essay on this complicated man, he's such an interesting character - but I've summed up some HC's below*

This guy is so hard to read, but at the same time he's not.

At first glance, he's a hardened man who keeps his cards close to his chest and never lets his guard down around anyone. And that's true.

Given everything he's been through in life, that amount of trauma is bound to have a long-term effect on every aspect of his life - not to mention the fact that he's probably learned to repress all of that shit for most of his life.

So I reckon that even if he did have romantic feelings towards you, it would take him a long, long time for him to even process what he's feeling - he's not stupid by any manner of means, more so he doesn't know what to do with this newfound information.

He would probably try and be mean to you - not that he was ever truly sweet on you in the first place, he couldn't let people know he had a soft spot; a weakness.

If you were part of 141, he would probably try to completely ignore you - unless he physically had to speak to you, like if you were on a mission together ((ngl I think Price probably would put the pieces together and would try to push you both together by sending you off on the same mission - fulfilling his Dad Captainly duties)).

You'd probably have known Ghost for a while before he starts to open up to you - it's superficial stuff, like maybe when his birthday is or his favourite food, little details that didn't really give any crucial information away, but you knew better than to pry as it would probably just make him shut himself away more.

He'd probably be protective of you - like if the team were out at a pub after a mission gone well, and there was a creepy guy bothering you, he would loom over you to scare the guy shitless with piercing, cold eyes.

We all know that as soon as Soap figures out that Ghost has a crush, he's going to absolutely want to take the piss out of him for it...he just needs to pick his words carefully, since he chooses life :))

It's hard to tell when or if he would actually confess his feelings to you - I can see it happening in one of two ways:

1 - You almost died on a mission, and he deeply regretted not telling you before when he thought you weren't going to make it back to base in time; he visited you every day while you were in hospital, and ended up bluntly just coming right out with how he felt because he needed you to know.

2 - Soap tells you before he can. With this scenario, I don't see Ghost blowing up in a fit of rage - it would be the silent death stare with the promise of an arse-kicking in the training room, maybe even making the Sergeant clean the bathrooms with a toothbrush for a few months for good measure. Ghost probably wouldn't even deny it, and would wait for you to come to him... and whatever happens next is a mystery ;))

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

*Ahh my fellow Scot - just to preface, Scottish slang and dialects vary across the country and I'm not 100% sure where Soap is originally from, so I'm just going to improvise and use local slang from where I'm from ~*

My guy wears his heart on his sleeve - he's naturally very flirty with you from the get-go, so it wasn't hard to figure out that he fancied you.

"Hello, Darlin', if yer wantin' a tour of the base, don't be feert* to gie me a shout ;D" [feert = afraid] [gie me a shout = ask me; gie = give].

With his flirty nature, it was difficult to discern if he was actually being serious about liking you, or if he was just flirty with everyone.

He'd probably realise that he was going about things completely wrong, and would make normal, friendly conversation to get to know you - he just wants to prove that he's a good guy and not a raging hornball :(

The longer time goes on, he starts to tell you more about his life outside of the SAS - he comes from a big family, he's the youngest sibling, his favourite colour, etc.

I can absolutely see his chest puff up a bit with pride when you compliment his skills - he disposes bombs and risks his life all the time, its his job and he doesn't expect praise other than a curt "good work" from his superiors; but from you, the tips of his ears are turning red, and a smile is practically splitting his face ~

Definitely doesn't use the excuse of training to get some time alone with you - not in a creepy way, he just likes spending one-on-one time with you.

If he really trusts you, he asks you to help trim his hair - he did do his mohawk mostly by himself but trying to do the back of his head on his own was an actual nightmare.

Likes watching the look of concentration on your face as you make sure that his hair is even - winks at you when you catch him staring~

(Y/N): There we go - a job well-done, if I do say so myself.

Johnny: *just admiring your smiling face, smitten*

Would probably ask you out then and there, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

Certified Best Boy™.

Captain John Price

This guy doesn't fuck around - he's older, mature, and knows what he feels, and straight up tells you.

He'd call you into his office for a "chat" - queue you absolutely shitting yourself, being called for a chat with your superior in any circumstance automatically has you going through everything you've ever done prior to this moment to see what he could be mad about...

If you were a Private or any rank beneath him, he probably might hesitate to tell you a bit; HR really wouldn't like it but then again they wouldn't need to know... ;))

If you were a medic, nurse, doctor or civilian, he wouldn't hesitate to tell you.

The Team wouldn't know he even had a crush on you - even if you were on base, as a soldier or medic, they wouldn't have a clue.

The only time they grew suspicious was after they had all been to the pub and after a few too many drinks, one of the new recruits started talking about you and how he thought you were fit; Price's eye twitched slightly, eyeing the recruit with a poker face but with a slightly flash of anger in his eyes, cigar between his teeth.

"Bit inappropriate to speak of a comrade like that, Private, don't you think?" The Private sheepishly let out an apology.

Gaz and Soap gave each other a knowing side-eye; Soap looked to Ghost, who stared back blankly - he'd figured out that the Captain liked you ages ago, he was just waiting on everyone else catching up.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

I see him as another guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, so to speak.

I think he's the silent type though - while Johnny will flirt with you openly, regardless of where he is or who he's around, I think Kyle would be more discrete about it.

At first, it would be the little things like making you your favourite tea when he's making his own cup - sometimes he'll just make you your own, delivering it to you with a little smile.

He even offers to spar with you during training - he wouldn't go easy on you but he would be missing the usual fire that he has when training with other members of the team, he doesn't want to hurt you :((

As he gets more comfortable with you, and you with him, he absolutely loves to wind you up.

I think he'd be a genuinely funny guy, so be prepared to laugh until your sides hurt.

He'd probably express his feelings for you in a cheesy but still down-right cute way; probably shows up at your door with flowers and asks you out on a date.

((Proud Dad™ Price is just around the corner))

König

Another certified Best Boy™.

Honestly, he probably didn't speak to you at all for the longest time - not because he was intentionally trying to be rude but because if he feels like he has nothing good to say, then he just won't speak at all.

His social anxiety probably fluctuates day-to-day; one day he feels alright, can make small talk with others on base and do whatever he needs to do. But then the next day, he won't leave his room unless he has to, and when he does he's just this hulking mass of poorly concealed anxiety.

I think his anxiety would probably accidentally be projected outwards and would make him appear more intimidating, especially when all people can see are his eyes underneath his hood. Poor baby :(

He definitely knew that he had a crush on you - he's anxious in social settings, crowds, and he knows what that feels like - but with you? He gets full-on butterflies and he's scared to speak in case he says something embarrassing.

You'd most likely have to make conversation first, keeping it casual as to not scare him off - ironic, since the man is over 6ft and is built like a brick shithouse.

It would take time but he'd slowly open up bit by bit.

The first time you saw him out in the field - completely different ballgame entirely.

Who is this guy and what has he done with Konig??

He probably confesses his feelings on the way back from a mission, still high on adrenaline and confidence.

Oh he absolutely full-on panics when the adrenaline wears off and the penny finally drops...but he meant what he said. He really likes you, Maus.

[wzrd-wheezes]

could i request a short imagine with remus x fem reader, where they’re best friends, and one day in the library while remus is talking about some book he’s passionate about, the reader just kisses him??? thank u!!!

Ink-Stained Fingers - Remus Lupin x Reader.

AN - this was such a cute request and i had so much fun writing it! thank you so much <3

Y/N’s fingers were stained with ink from her quill as she frantically scribbled on a particularly long roll of parchment, desperately trying to finish her potions essay that was due in the morning. Remus sat opposite her, his feet propped up on the table and a book gripped between his fingers.

“How many times have you read that one, then?” Y/N asked, glancing up at him.

“Dunno.” he replied, barely looking up, “Five maybe?”

Y/N smiled to herself, returning her attention to her homework. Remus would usually keep her company on her late night study sessions in the library when she was cramming in her homework last minute. She wasn’t as organised as he was usually.

Remus’ fingers toyed idly with a loose thread on the sleeve of his jumper as he read. By the looks of it, it was a book that he’d read over and over. The edges of the pages had gone fuzzy like they had been thumbed through many times and his brow furrowed as his eyes danced over the words.

“I can lend it you if you want?” Remus broke the silence.

“Are you feeling alright?” Y/N laughed, “James asked to borrow one of your books the other day and you looked like he’d just asked you to sacrifice your first born child!”

Remus chuckled, closing the book and placing it on the table.

“That was only ‘cause I know he wouldn’t look after it,” he said, “knowing him he’d probably leave it somewhere.”

Y/N nodded in agreement, dipping her quill back into the pot of ink and carrying on writing. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Remus reach down to retrieve something from his bag. He took out a quill and ink and began flicking quickly through the pages of his book.

“What’re you doing?” Y/N asked, not looking up from the piece of parchment in front of her.

“‘M just writing you some notes in the margins,” he muttered, clearly deep in thought, “y’know, for when you read it.”

Her eyes snapped up to look at him and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Remus was biting down on his lip as he scribbled down his notes, a crease forming between his brows. It was as if he couldn’t get the words down on the pages quick enough.

“This is one of my favourites, you know?” he spoke, “The characters are so well thought out and the way that it’s written is honestly…”

He went on, telling her every detail of the story telling without trying to ruin it for her. His lips pulled into a smile as he spoke, the words spilling effortlessly out of his mouth. His eyes were wide and shining with excitement and Y/N had lost track of what he was saying, completely in awe of how passionately he was speaking about the book.

Y/N didn’t know why she did it, but before she had even registered what she was doing, she had leaned across the table and kissed him. She caught him mid sentence, his mouth slightly open and his lips soft against hers. Y/N pulled away quickly, her eyes widening and her heart pounding.

“If you wanted me to shut up you only had to tell me.” Remus laughed, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I’m sorry - I don’t know why I did that!” Y/N panicked, “Shit. you’re my best friend-”

This time Remus cut her off. Leaning over the table and grabbing her face with his hands. The kiss this time was more sure, his lips confident against hers, his hand resting on her jaw. He tried to pull her closer to him to deepen the kiss when all over a sudden they were distracted by a dull thud as something hit the wood of the table.

Looking down, they saw that the pot of ink had been knocked over, the dark liquid spilling across the table and seeping onto the the roll of parchment where Y/N was writing her essay. She let out a gasp, trying to snatch her work away from the ink that was spreading at a rapid pace.

“Don’t worry about it.” Remus said, taking the paper from her hands and dropping it to the floor, his eyes still fixed on hers. The ink had got on his fingers too, and he chuckled as he looked at them. “I’ll help you write another one.”

His lips quickly found Y/N’s again, their ink stained fingers intertwining.

[thankskenpenders]

And now for something new

So, here's something I was never planning on doing, but I just couldn't shake the idea... Thanks Ken Penders is gaining a sister blog featuring an entirely different comic franchise!

Introducing... Thanks Steve Ditko, a blog where I read the Earth-616 Spider-Man comics, starting all the way back in the '60s! It's gonna be much more casual and less thorough than how I run things here on TKP, though, which I'll explain in a sec.

If seeing me post weird bits from old Spider-Man comics sounds fun and you need no further info, then just head right on over to Thanks Steve Ditko. But for longtime TKP readers, I know you probably have questions...

Number one: Why?

Spider-Man's always been my favorite superhero, and with the Spider-Verse movies kicking ass and my excitement building for the new Insomniac game, I've been in a Spidey mood. Inevitably, a thought occurred to me: Maybe I should actually read the comics that everything else is built off of and see the wildly varying contributions of all the original creators, rather than filtering them through big budget adaptations. If I can power through One Piece and all these other manga with hundreds of chapters, it can't be that hard... right?

And, well, after a few issues I quickly realized that my options were to either clog up my other accounts with random Spider-Man panels for years, or to just make a side blog. And so the side blog was born.

Two: Will this blog replace Thanks Ken Penders?

NO!!!!!!!!!

Okay but prove it

To allow the two to exist side-by-side, Thanks Steve Ditko will have a different format than what Thanks Ken Penders developed. Rather than an in-depth guided tour that critically analyzes every story beat of every issue, TSD will just be a place for amusing panels and brief thoughts as I casually read the comics at my own pace.

If you've seen me make a few tweets about reading Spider-Man recently, I'm basically just moving that to a dedicated Tumblr. It's a place for me to dump these things so that it doesn't fill up my media tab on Twitter for the next decade. (You know, assuming Twitter is still around in a decade.) There will be many issues where I only post two panels that I thought were funny. There will be issues where I don't have anything to say at all. Maybe I'll reach a run that I just cannot get into, and I start skipping around more. Who knows!

This may sound similar to what I thought this blog would be before it blew up. Aside from the simple fact that there's already mountains of Spider-Man commentary out there and therefore less of a void for me to fill, one of the main steps I'll be taking to avoid repeating the past is not enabling an ask box on TSD. I do not need people to ask me to go into ten times more detail on everything. I do not need to write seven essay-length responses to questions about Spider-Man minutiae every day. I do not need a place for people to chide me for not covering certain scenes, issues, or ancillary series.

It also won't have any kind of update schedule. I'm trying to keep it very casual. I'm reading these comics at my own pace, and if I feel like sharing a moment or commenting on something while doing so? It goes there. That's it.

(On the subject of format changes, I'm also listing the issue, writer, and penciller in the body of every post. This is a thing I wish I'd done on TKP so that people didn't misattribute every weird Archie Sonic panel I post to Penders.)

Three: So when will TKP come back from hiatus? You said it'd come back after you finished SLARPG!

I don't know! Sorry. I have a couple things on the backburner right now for TKP, but I'm not sure when I'll get back to proper updates where I read more comics.

I wanted to bring TKP back this year, and that's still possible. The main hurdle is that I want to reread my own archive (again) as a refresher, which is, uh. A lot of posts. I've developed a high standard for myself on here, and I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job right if I forgot half the ongoing subplots and character arcs and didn't bring them up in my analysis. Especially when I'm discussing the work of an author as obsessed with continuity as Ian Flynn. Unfortunately, the nature of this blog means that every time I go on another long hiatus for Life Reasons I have even more comic continuity to catch up on than last time.

(This is a big part of why I'm making Thanks Steve Ditko an extremely casual blog instead of promising to become a Lore Expert on 60+ years of Marvel.)

Mostly I've just been very burnt out this year after having finally finished a video game that took almost eight years to make. I haven't really had the energy for any creative projects, including TKP. But I feel a little bit of a spark here with Spider-Man, so I'm chasing that feeling to try to get back into the swing of blogging about comics - no pun intended.

So, basically, bear with me on this as I start this low-energy side project. But hopefully folks will enjoy Thanks Steve Ditko as its own thing, too.

Look forward to goofy shit like this

[my-castles-crumbling]

Warmth- Jegulus holiday fluff!

Hi guys! You voted on a holiday present and this is what you chose! It's hogwarts-age jegulus, AU-no Voldemort, background wolfstar holiday fluff! Enjoy!

Regulus always associated the holidays with the cold.

A cold house. A cold bed. The coldness of his family.

And he was so used to the way his family did things.

It started with planning. So much planning. Making sure everything, every minute detail, was perfect. That the menu was impeccable. The decor, superb. The outfits, tailored and luxurious.

Regulus and Sirius were expected to be flawless representations of their House and ‘Superior Bloodline.’ Put-together and polite; seen, not heard.

The pressure was more than intense.

And the actual party?

So many people. So many high standards.

The chit-chat was suffocating, and Regulus always dreaded it.

There was nothing personal about the holidays. No time for family. Only networking. Putting on a show. Making sure their family was constantly on top.

It was cold.

Regulus spent the entire day feeling lonely.

So, when Regulus first agreed to spend the holidays at the Potters’ he wasn’t sure how to feel. He knew, of course, that the Potters were pureblood. Well-off. They probably had fancy parties, too.

“What shall I pack?” he asked his boyfriend one day while they were studying, close to break, realizing his old dress robes might not fit any more. Did the Potters expect him to wear his custom-made twelve-piece robes, or would some of his more comfortable three-piece outfits suffice?

“Pack?” James asked, looking a bit distracted. He was currently trying to figure out what looked like a botched Potions essay, and Regulus knew he would have to take pity on him and help soon. “I mean, it’s a bit cold. Make sure to pack some extra jumpers.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, endeared by the taller boy’s oliviousness. “I meant for the party.”

“Party?” James asked, looking quite shocked. “We’re going to a party?”

Now his patience was wearing a bit thin. “On Christmas, James. Won’t your family have a party?”

James laughed out loud at that. “I mean, it’ll be my mum, dad, Sirius, Remus, and both of us. Is that what you mean?”

Regulus thought about that. “So…no party?”

“No,” James answered, looking a bit concerned. “Is that alright? I know your family-”

“It’s perfect,” Regulus nodded, quickly pulling James’s mess of an essay toward himself. “This is not.”

-

As soon as the boys arrived in the bright, warm kitchen of the Potter Manor, a woman swept Regulus into a hug so quickly he almost yelped with surprise.

“Regulus. It’s wonderful to meet you,” the woman hugging him said warmly.

“Don’t suffocate him, mum,” James admonished, throwing Regulus a grin as he hugged what could only be his father.

But Regulus, who normally hated being touched, especially by those he didn’t know, found himself melting into the embrace. He realized almost instantly where James got it from- his safe, kind, accepting persona. His warmth.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. and Mr. Potter,” Regulus stammered as Euphemia released him. “Thank you for inviting me to your home.”

“Effie and Monty,” Monty replied easily. “And how could we not? James talks so much about you, you’re practically family already."

James turned bright red at this, and Regulus smirked a bit. Sirius made a gagging noise from behind them.

“As if you don’t talk just as much about Remus,” Effie chided him, pulling him into a hug as well.

“Mum! I’m supposed to be the favorite!” Sirius pouted, making Effie grin.

“I have no favorites. Though if we’re going by number of times I’ve gotten letters of complaint from Minerva McGonagall, then Regulus is currently the favorite,” Effie retorted, making Regulus turn pink.

Even though both Sirius and James protested more about that, it was clear that all the comments were in good fun. They were laughing. Smiling. Enjoying each other’s company.

He’d never experienced family like this before. It was strange. The warmth.

-

Regulus quickly figured out that he liked Potter Manor almost as much as he liked Hogwarts.

He, James, Sirius, and Remus (when he arrived a few days later) spent their days flying, lazing around, going into the Muggle town nearby and exploring. He knew that Monty was a Potioneer, but he was thrilled to find that once he tentatively asked the older man about his work, Monty was eager to show him everything he was working on. He even let Regulus help.

He also found a piano, tucked away in a lonely room on the fourth floor, and spent hours at a time just playing, reveling in being able to just be, while James, Sirius, and Remus caused chaos Merlin-knew-where.

He felt safe. Wanted. This, he realized, was how family was supposed to feel.

-

He’d believed James, of course, when he’d said there wouldn’t be a party. But he was still unsurprised, somehow, when on Christmas morning, he was awoken at dawn by someone shaking him awake. Good thing he packed something presentable.

“Happy Christmas, Reg!” James whispered into his ear.

“Mmmpfh,” Regulus mumbled into his pillow. “Thought you said there wasn’t a party?”

“What? No, I…I have something to show you. Will you come with me?” James asked, looking a bit nervous.

“Alright.”

It was early, and cold. And Regulus was thankful, really, that he’d listened to James and packed multiple jumpers because he pulled two over his head, blearily following the taller boy out of his room.

“Sorry it’s so early. It’s just…I’ve been trying to get you alone for days and I figured if I try before Sirius is awake, I’d have more of a chance,” James grinned a bit sheepishly.

Regulus snorted. Sirius had been quite the nuisance over the past few days. Every time James and Regulus had had two minutes alone, he just appeared. “He’s your best friend, Potter.”

James chuckled, leading Regulus to the front door.

“Outside?” Regulus blanched. He might have two jumpers on, but he wasn’t dressed for the snowstorm currently raging outside.

“Trust me?” James asked, levelling a challenging look at Regulus.

And fuck James Potter, because he knew that the answer to that question was yes.

“Alright,” Regulus murmured, shivering as James rapped his wand sharply on Regulus’s head. A feeling of warmth slowly seeped through Regulus’s very veins, like he’d stepped into a hot shower.

“C’mon,” James said, grabbing his hand and guiding him into the storm.

-

They walked for a few minutes, hand-in-hand, through the raging snow. Even as the storm persisted, however, Regulus could only feel warmth. No wind, no cold. Just the comfortable heat of James’s spell and their intertwined hands.

It was loud, however. And it was hard to see. “James, where the hell-?” Regulus yelled, feeling a bit nervous.

“Not much farther now! It’s just here!” James called to him, dragging him a few more feet before stopping.

Then, James pulled out his wand again and tapped it on seemingly nothing, before pulling Regulus a few more feet forward.

Regulus was thoroughly confused for a moment, until-

Quiet.

They seemed to be in a bubble. Almost a reverse-snow globe. Their little space on the ground, about ten feet in diameter, was quiet. Warm. Free of snow. But outside, the snow still fell and the wind whipped it around.

It was strangely beautiful. Haunting but safe.

“Just here,” James said softly, guiding him to a blanket on the ground.

Shocked, Regulus lay on the blanket, allowing James to pull him close, as they looked up and watched the snowstorm surrounding them.

“James, this is-”

“We used to do this all the time when I was a kid,” James explained, circling his thumb on Regulus's back soothingly. “On Christmas, especially. If it snowed, my dad would come out and set this up. And we’d just sit out here and watch. Be together.”

Regulus moved a bit closer to James, feeling so incredibly content. “This is what your family does on Christmas?”

He felt James shrug next to him. “It’s nice to just…escape sometimes, you know? And I just wanted to be with you.”

Regulus felt tears prickle his eyes as he took that in. It was somehow precious, to be shown this tradition. To be allowed this window into James’s life. To be included and wanted and loved.

And it was so warm, here.

Here, in the snow. Here, in James’s arms.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing James softly.

And he lost himself in the warmth of the kiss.

Hope you guys liked it! Please leave comments and kudos, I need them more than I need a nap (a lot!)

[gynandromorph]

It's okay not to answer, I know it's broad territory, but I really respect you as an artist and writer. How do you handle people misinterpreting or missing elements of your work, especially when they may still enjoy it and get something out of it? As an artist I'm struggling lately with knowing my work will always inherently be read differently from what I intended as a matter of the human experience, as well as me being autistic complicating my ability to communicate.

An addition to that last ask. I don't know if it's clear what I'm asking so I'll give some examples. A 50 year old man and a 21 year old woman will get different things from a movie due to their lived experiences. As a gentile reader I might miss jewish narrative themes in a piece of work. That doesn't mean it's bad for us to have experienced it, but as an author I find it frustrating when something is missed or misinterpreted, and I don't know how not to be a control freak about it.

i feel you, i have ocpd and being misinterpreted when i agonized and stressed about how to present my wording makes me want to light myself on fire and it's something i'm working on. writers are supposed to expect and account for different perspectives ahead of time, so it always sort of shocks me when i hear interpretations i wouldn't have thought about at all. i know logically i can't predict all outcomes, but it's still surprising anyway!!! but i generally feel a lot of distress about being misinterpreted because i'm afraid it'll label me as A Bad Person, so i think that's where the experience diverges. maybe investigating why you need to or want to control the way your work is interpreted would help as a starting point? i think having a larger audience helps, too... it means more people will misinterpret your work, but it also means you're more likely to have at least One Guy who interprets it just right and makes fireworks go off in your brain, but there's no way to control how big your audience is!

anyway, the ways to control how your work is interpreted, to the degree that you can:

you can make it simpler. the more parts a story has added to its complexity, the more it's going to be misinterpreted.

you can make the intended message more blatant. you can have a character say exactly what you want the audience to think or hear, or something very close to it. don't want a detail missed? make it bigger.

you can reprioritize parts of the story. basically think of a group of interpretations you want the audience to have if you can, and then put them in order of importance. then the story has a hierarchy to lean on wrt artistic decisions.

you can give the story multiple meanings. more targets to hit. if they're mutually exclusive, i find this works better... i like making my stories ambiguous with conflicting interpretations a lot. yeah, people are going to interpret the story wrong, because it was made in a way that will guarantee it is interpreted wrong in some way.

you can layer the meaning so that less literate audience members will at least get SOME of what you intended. basically, close to the previous strategy, but like a hybrid of that and "make it simpler" imo because you're constructing multiple interpretations that are all supposed to lead to one conclusion (like a persuasive essay or something), but can act as an adequate conclusion on their own.

all of these options have obvious qualitative losses. if you have anything in particular that is repeatedly misinterpreted or missed, it's a good idea to think about Why you're making those choices. consciously committing to a higher-risk artistic choice will help you feel more in control of what happens to it once it's done. the way your art is interpreted isn't totally out of your control, you are making decisions that add to or mitigate the risk of misinterpretations, and you can bring those choices to a more conscious awareness to see them and appreciate them. sometimes it'll feel like a begrudging compromise, but it'll still be Your choice ultimately.

on an emotional level... hopefully this makes sense. there's always going to be the piss-on-the-poor scenario and sometimes i just remind myself that some people are not as literate as me, but it's great we were still able to connect through a work that was probably difficult for them!!! it was a privilege to get to grow up with a good education, access to art and technology, strangers who want to look at what i made, and there are times where i take this for granted, and my expectations of readers are actually kind of unreasonable!!! some people are younger than me and say stupid things like i did, but they aren't able to understand things like me yet, and it's important for them to learn by figuring it out on their own!!! i was and will always be That Guy to other artists and other writers, and i want to give other people the same grace as i get. some people have wildly different life experiences compared to mine, and these experiences can be much more nuanced than i could ever imagine, but it's a little gift that they made my world larger by sharing theirs through my art!!! it's terrifying and embarrassing knowing that i don't know much of anything, even about something i have total control over, but the consequences of that aren't always negative. and possibly the saddest but most common way i deal with this is nothing more than accepting that no one is ever going to understand me on the level that i want to be understood. sometimes my frustration has come from a place of miserable alienation, where the need to feel Seen can be quite desperate. i've made art explicitly about Me, and i've made art deliberately hostile towards its audience, art that's said they don't get it and they never will, but they still bothered to try. i made a game that said no one will win here and they still played it with me, and i can appreciate that. in many cases, they actually know more about me than i know about them. but more importantly, it isn't my audience's job to take care of that emotional need -- in fact, as much as art is made out to be a mode of pure self-expression, i don't think they can. it's a reality that i don't like, but i accept it. art made to benefit others is a one-way mirror: you make them feel seen, but they should never see you, because if they see you, the mirror isn't working.

[academic-vampire]

How do you analyze a book, this is the first time for me reading classics (ie philosopie) and I want to understand the ideas in there. One Idea I have that could help me is to write mini essays to keep the idea in mind but if you have any other suggestions please tell me

(If it wasn’t for maths I would’ve been a philosophy major)

Hi, I’m currently writing a long post about how I read and analyze literature, so you can expect that soon. :)

Although, absolutely—mini essays are a great way to help better understand what you’re reading. When I did this in the past, I would rotate between three essay/writing styles:

1. Commonplace entries: I would write out a large passage I found interesting and then analyze it. I would note what I liked about it and what I didn’t like. Just write your thoughts, basically. It doesn’t have to be extraordinarily deep.

2. Discussion question: I would write one question I have about the literature, and then try to answer it. Sometimes, I couldn’t answer it right then, and that’s fine. It’s good to ponder literature. It keeps it alive that way.

3. Reading notes: I would write down anything I found interesting (quotes, ideas, themes, character descriptions, word choices, etc.) for a few pages.

(It’s also interesting to note that I hand-wrote all of these in a journal. I think the act of handwriting helps solidify ideas in your mind).

Those are just some things that I write about if I really need to study a piece of literature. But you can expect my longer and more detailed post soon. Ahaha, I wish you luck with math, and I hope you can study literature and philosophy in your spare time. :) Thank you for asking.

[rewritingcanon]

victoire weasley headcannons NOW pleaseee

YAS THE ONLY GIRL EVER!!!!

looks almost the exact same as her mum and has her mum’s personality (with a little bit of bill fused into her)

she has the oldest daughter mentality where she always needs to be StressedTM over something. even when she has nothing going on in life she will create an issue to be worried over. when she was younger this was hard for her to emotionally handle but she has gotten better at pretending she is sane over the years

this also led her to do med school. idk healer vic is something so personal for me. idk what exactly she’d be doing but i know it would be in the big buck areas. a dermatologist or a optometrist or a surgeon or something. she’s smart as hell.

very particular about presenting a good image for her family. she was the oldest weasley in the new generation and so she knew she had to present herself in a certain way, and she never thought she minded until she was suddenly 18 and having an identity crisis

furthermore, the rita skeeter incident with her and teddy nearly killed her. shes been through some traumatic shit but that was crossing the line

gets into so many fights with dominique because both of them are polar opposites and are jealous of each other for completely different reasons. dominique wishes she can fit into the mould like victoire so easily does, victoire wishes she could be as free and uncaring as dominique is. both don’t understand each other

HOWEVER victoire and dominique are the ultimate soulmates. it doesn’t matter how much they fight, they’re very close. dominique rants to her and sends her memes victoire can’t understand and victoire will still pay for dom’s meals when theyre out bcuz it doesn’t matter how old dominique is, she is still her little sister. and victoire retains every last piece of dom’s friendship group drama, and stalks them all on social media silently judging the shit out of them

no seriously victoire and dominique are The Siblings like the most important relationship in each others lives i could write essays on my hcs for their dynamic. ask me about headcanons for them specifically and i will go into LOTS of detail

anyways. victoire loves journalling in sparkly ink from wizard smiggle. is the type to write “heart diseases” in glittery pink aesthetic cursive.

she absolutely rocked the 2010s. probably had a minecraft streaming channel with teddy.

i have also made a huge amount of tedoire headcanons here so i will keep this post relatively free of them hehe

every song MARINA ever sings is about victoire tbh

she’s a ravenclaw to me, which made her a little insecure because everyone sort of assumed weasley = gryffindor, so she had to change her brand a little bit and establish herself as a delacour so people would lay off her. it helps that shes as insanely pretty as her mother

sucks ass at quidditch but no one will ever know because she graciously avoided flying at all costs (she can do enough to pass the compulsory flying classes but that is IT)

loves legally blond the movie

cosplays as annabeth chase for every fucking halloween party because she literally only has one costume and refuses to buy more

bisexual but she didnt know until she started dating teddy and liked them just as much when they would metamorph into a girl. then she started connecting all the dots… that one traumatising breakup with that friend who ditched her for their bf…. how all her fav songs are wlw songs… why she likes gina gershon from bound so much…

dressed like gwen stacy in the amazing spiderman movies. long socks. polished black high heels with straps. brown woollen vests and cream coloured shirts with frills. pink lip gloss. ALWAYS in headband season. very fem academia.

very outwardly polite and nice to other people but always retains a sense of distance. she wants to be close to people but she doesn’t know how to build those connections— she’s very scared of being hurt or betrayed so she sticks with people she’s already known before her walls went up.

used to be a little dictator when her, dom, and louis played games around shell cottage. she would make all the rules and be very strict about following it all. dom and louis were useless at games without her, because they couldnt make rules where there were stakes and it wasn’t fun without them. yknow, older sibling shenanigans.

pretended to be supportive but cried for three hours silently in her dorm when both dom and louis and ALL OF HER COUSINS were sorted into NOT ravenclaw

always mained princess peach in mario bros games and would get genuinely pissed when someone took her instead

reads booktok books… sorry… shes a STEM girlie…

secretly has a big appetite towards meat.. definitely not inherited from her dad… definitely not haha (she went vegetarian for nine months to try and stop herself and it literally almost killed her she was hangry all the time)

can speak french fluently and better than her siblings can

has like five beauxbatons penpals excluding the maternal cousins

this isn’t even all of them but i will leave her here for now. i LOVE VICTOIRE so so so much dawg..

[pyjamaart]

A looming presence... (A piece of fan art for Episode 11 of the Christmas Comeback Crisis)

Read more for an essay on all the memes and references ;)

So here it is. Finally. Only one month too late: This piece of CCC fan art I've worked on since the episode came out.

Sorry for the delay, but I just started at my new job this week and it's been a little stressful, so I didn't have much time to work on this. But now it's finally here!!! I gotta say, the hardest part by far was the background, lol. I didn't mean for it to escalate that much. At the end I was honestly running out of memes to draw.

I bet we can all agree that episode 11 of the Christmas Comeback Crisis was so worth the wait, right???? My god. Peak entertainment. I still can't believe I'm getting all this awesome lore and music for free, feels kinda criminal.

I'm so invested in this story, it's unreal. I can't wait to see how it will end. I can already tell it's gonna be pretty emotional. (And not to alarm anyone, but I have a slight feeling that the Voice is not gonna make it out of this story arc alive. I mean, after everything he's done, it's safe to say that he kinda deserves it. Of course I really don't want him to die, cause that would mean…….. Woodman would also have to die??? Otherwise the Voice will just keep coming back again and again because Woodman is keeping his memory alive…….. Oh man wait a moment….. I don't even want to think about that. Forget I said anything about this.)

Anyway, let's talk about this piece of art for a moment.

In the foreground, we have our brave protagonists. I really really like how Nozomi turned out, so I decided to make her my new icon from now on. Don't get me wrong, I love my old icon, but it's kinda zoomed out and you can't really make out any details when it's really small. So Nozomi it is. Meta Knights sword was shockingly difficult to draw, especially because I had to figure out how to draw it when he's holding it at an angle like that. Otherwise, drawing him was actually one of the easiest things about this whole thing. His design is really just two circles with some arms and armor. Figuring out how the circle tool in Gimp works has never felt this good. (Kinda crazy I can just draw him like this now, considering how obsessed with him I was when I was about 12-13 years old. Back then you had to download official renders of your favorite characters onto your computer, then print them out and hang them on your walls all around your room. Yeah I've always been like this.) Drawing Santa was really fun too, just his right hand was a little difficult. But that's just because I still can't draw hands in general. Maybe I should practice drawing hands more. (Naaaaaah I'm just kidding, I'll never do that.) Now that I'm looking at him again, he's also longingly staring at President Haltmann in the background. Doomed yaoi fr.

Speaking of the background, let's talk about that next. There's obviously the title-giving "looming presence" the Voice. I had his hands completely in the background at first, but I thought it looked cooler when they were hanging threateningly around Santa's shoulders. (You may ask yourself, 'man these hands look kinda alright for my usual hand drawing standards', and that is because I traced over pictures of my own hands. I love "cheating" at art.) I also gave him his stupid little bow tie and the colored buttons on his suit sleeves. Not only is that kinda my trademark for drawing him at this point, it's also supposed to show, that under all the threats and the evil villain persona, he's just kind of a loser. A real (male equivalent of a) girlfailure. That's why I made sure that half of the things shown in the background are there to make fun of him a little. I love the Voice dearly, but that's just what felt right.

And now let's get to the actual main course of this essay. I probably spent half the time working on this on the freaking background. I'm just gonna start in the top left corner and then go down each column and explain what each of these mean or what they reference. (Since there are some quite obscure ones in there.)

Let's start with the two ponies in the very top left. They're actually ponysonas of Nozomi Tojo (left) and Takane Shijou (right). Nozomi is an earth pony and has a tarot card as her cutie mark, specifically the ace of cups. Takane on the other hand is a unicorn and has some musical notes as her cutie mark, which you can't really see. I don't know enough about the Idolmaster to think of something more meaningful for her, sorry. ;)

Under that are Susie Haltmann and her father, President Haltmann. They were (after Woodman) the first characters I wanted to draw into the background. Susie has this black bar covering her face, since she was never really there to begin with. The whole story line with her father wanting to bring her back was actually so freaking sad. And when the Voice killed him in episode 11 and that image of Susie flashed on screen as the last thing he saw before he died….. Oof……… That's also why I drew that cursor looming next to her "window" about to click on the closing button. Haltmann himself is also the only character in the background to actually leave his little window, wanting to reach his daughter. He's also glaring at the Voice for causing him all of this grief and anger in the first place with his false promises.

Then there's…. ahem, "Hot robots in your area". With drawings of a random unnamed robot and Mettaton from Undertale. Which the Voice has apparently bookmarked. This is just a head canon, but I like to think he has a thing for robots, lol. ;)

Oh and on the left next to that on the very first column is Simpleflips' logo. Shoutouts to Simpleflips indeed.

Onto the next column. At the very top is Haruka Amami (also from the Idolmaster), who played a pretty huge role in the CCC, especially in the latest episode. That moment at the very end where she saved Grand Dad from certain death was just fantastic. Absolutely goated scene. She's kinda pressing her face against the window she's trapped in. I hope you can even see that from far away, haha.

Under that is one of the more obscure references. It's from a King for Another Day video, specifically one titled "The Hobart Hootenanny - SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day". It's a slideshow made of beautiful Hobart pictures. One that struck me personally the most was a little family picture of Hobart and the rapper Eminem, who was also a contestant in the KfAD tournament, looking lovingly over their son sitting in a cradle. Eminem is seen saying "Our son is beutiful". A truly touching photograph indeed. In that same slideshow is also another scene of Hobart together with the Voice, but we'll talk about that one later.

The next one is a reference to the CCC side story "I wanna thank me" and shows a pie chart with the election results that were discussed in that episode. Under the pie chart itself is a little box containing all the different parties and showing their respective percentages. On the left is a poster for the "Poké Poké Literature Party", showing Monika's head with the words "Just vote Monika" at the top of the poster. The words (and Misha.) are scribbled on the bottom, lest we forget that she's not running this party alone. This side story was first featured in the Christmas Comeback Crisis Watchalong in 2020, which was actually the first time I watched the CCC in its entirety. It all went downhill from there. ;)

Then there's the Voice's… thing? Object? Weird apparatus where no one really knows what it does or what its purpose is? Every time we see the Voice sitting in his office, this thing is sitting on his desk right next to him. There's been loads of jokes about its purpose. They've all been made before. I'm not going to repeat them. Only the Voice himself truly knows what this thing does. Probably. Could just be a decorative piece of art.

Then we have something veeeery self indulgent on the next column. It's Aquaman from Megaman 8 (With a not so subtle skull right next to him). You should all know by now that I'm the founding father of the Aquawood ship. And I also have the head canon that Woodman and the Voice are very divorced. Interpret into this whatever you want.

Next to Aquaman is the internets' favorite panel from the web comic Tails Gets Trolled. I fucking love that comic. If you haven't read it in its entirety, I highly recommend doing it. (Though be warned that it contains some pretty heavy topics, many many slurs and a plethora of gore.) Okay, maybe I don't recommend reading it. (Just read it with all of that in mind.)

Under that is a personal favorite joke of mine. It's supposed to be Spotify, with a playlist open that I created some time ago. I called it "Die Pizza Playlist" (Remember that die in German is just "the") which I always listen to when I'm baking my own pizza. Highlights include "Pizza" by Antilopen Gang, "Pizza Heroes" by Lemon Demon (You can actually see the album art for Spirit Phone on the left of the playlist.), "Pizza Pizza Pizza" from the Ratatouille musical and so on and so on. The first song in the playlist is obviously "We like pizza" by the Pizza kids, which is even playing in the image. On the side are two more music artists, at the bottom is the image for the Veggie Tales soundtrack, which also featured a song called "Pizza Angel". And over that is Mitski. I just feel like the Voice would listen to her music. Do not question me on this.

The audience laughs at the funny 7.

On the Voice's left shoulder sits a single green bean. It's flashing you a cheeky grin and a peace sign. While I didn't intend for this to happen, I accidentally referenced my own Woodman birthday gallery art from two years ago, where the bean also sits atop the Voice's shoulder. I know that next to "Yankin'", the bean is one of the most hated memes on SiIva, but I think he's just a silly little guy! :D

Let's head on over to the next column. Seems like the Voice has an incoming call from one of his guards, but he's ignoring it as he has more important things to do, like hovering intimidatingly over Santa Claus.

Next to that window on the right are the Voice's messages. I almost wrote "messanges". That would have been embarrassing, thank god I caught that in time. This is also (yet again) a little self indulgent, since the Voice apparently has the last message he sent Woodman pinned to the very top of his messenger app. His big triangular head is blocking most of it, but since I'm the artist, I can tell you exactly what it says: "Please call me back", which was sent on February 1st 2023, the day "The Disappearance of Woodman" was released. Yeah, I'm still very upset, how could you tell? :( Under that is a message to his trusty pizza guy asking for a pizza with extra cheese.

Next we have two of my favorite memes on the SiIvagunner channel (My absolute favorite being "Funny budots", since I never wrote that down anywhere.), one being Frisk Undertale becoming uncanny and the other one being the goat. I don't really know how to describe the goat, but apparently it was crafted by the same artist who made the stoned fox that's also very popular online?? I may just be stupid, but I didn't know about that until I looked up a reference for the goat. Since it often appears alongside Undertale and Deltarune, many have made the assumption that this is what Asriel would look like in real life. That's why Flowey is there next to it with an equal sign. Whoever drew up that calculation wasn't really sure of their work, which is why they drew a question mark right next to it. Between Frisk and the goat is a little Soul, also from Undertale/Deltarune.

Onto the next column, where I'm dropping very subtle hints that a specific character in this image might like pizza. Or might even be a little obsessed with it. On the left is a list with the contact details of three well known pizza chains, on the very top is Sonic the Hedgehog who just recently became a brand ambassador for Totino's and on the bottom right of this section is a flyer for some kind of pizza sale.

The next window contains my favorite joke of any rip on the entire SiIvaGunner Youtube Channel. "Peepoona 5. Let us shart the pants." Just typing this out is making me die of laughter yet again. (The rip in question is "Our Beginning - Persona 5".) But as you all know, I am very into toilet humor. That's why Aquaman is one of my favorite robot masters. And why I'm such a big fan of Youtube Poop. And why I watch Minion fart gun religiously. But enough of that, you get what I'm trying to say. I love funny poop jokes. That's why this is here.

Oh man. This next one is why I wanted to write this very detailed essay in the first place. A reference so obscure, even I can't find its origin anymore. And believe me, I tried. Thankfully, I took a screenshot of the original comment thread this was based on. A user called "The New Guy" commented on a SiIvaGunner rip, something along the lines about how much they enjoyed this specific rip. At the time, the comment had 920 likes, so I'm guessing it must have been a pretty popular video. (The comment should also be about 4 years old now?) Anyway, under that comment, someone asks them what their profile picture was from. They simply answered "wagon", since that was exactly what their profile picture showed. Someone on the SiIvaGunner team must have found this exchange so funny that they commented "wagon" as well. And that's the origin of this joke. If anyone knows which rip this is from pleeeeaaaase tell me. I need to know.

I don't think I need to explain who the next guy is. Just the love of my life. I specifically drew Woodman in his getup from the Nuclear Winter Festival, since that was the last time he appeared on the channel. He's looking kinda concerned in the general direction of the viewer, for obvious reasons. And right under him is his trademarked >:] emoji.

And last but certainly not least, the final column! Now I finally get to talk about this other scene from the Hobart Hootenanny. It shows Hobart and the Voice having a romantic stroll at a beautiful beach, while the sun is slowly setting in the background, making the water shimmer with its breathtaking colors. Okay, the last thing didn't really happen, since it's a shitty MS Paint drawing, but I like to imagine it did. Maybe I should draw a remake of this image one day. Now I'd like to quote the video in question: "A man and Hobart were walking together on the beach. He looked back and saw that in his times of sadness and need, there was only one set of footprints. He asked Hobart why he would leave him in his time of most need. Hobart simply turned to the man and said, VVVVVRRRRR SRRRRR RRRRGGGHHHH--" (Thank you SiIva Wiki for the transcription.) Now I don't think I need to explain why I drew Hobart in a bikini top and fishnets. The question answers itself.

The next image is actually quite easy to explain. It's mm5charge and smol Maki. In another universe, Chargeman and Maki might have been integral to the SiIvaGunner lore. This specific image is just stolen from my piece of fan art called "Megaman 5 Brainrot (featuring Acidman)", which I posted in 2022. I still head canon that Megaman and Love Live take place in the same universe. Just because I think it's funny. And because I want to see funny robot masters interact with the girlies from Love Live. How do I explain this? It's like…. balancing out the world? The robot masters are almost all male (with a few exceptions) and the characters shown in Love Live are all female. How would Thanos say? "Perfectly balanced, as all things should be." Don't question my cool head canons, okay?

After that we have a poster featuring the Jazz Cats! I really really love the little animations that showed their backstory when KfAD2 first came out. I don't know if it's okay for me to say this, but I also really really enjoy the song "But Not You" written (in universe) by Doge and Naxx. The text is veeeeeeery questionable, but man, does it sound good regardless… And shoutouts to wolfman1405 for the heavenly vocals.

On the right of that is a missing poster for Wade L.D.. Nothing much to explain here I guess.

Left of that is the Voices shopping list, which lists flour, oil, yeast… Wait a minute…. All of these are ingredients for pizza dough! Guys, I'm beginning to think that this guy might like pizza.

On the very bottom of this column is Mario 7 Grand Dad himself, who has his hostile gaze directed at the Voice. I would be pissed off too if someone kept me locked in a glass tube for 7 years.

The last little window just shows the Vineshroom with the words "fecal funny" written under it.

And with that, it is done. The entire background thoroughly explained. (I may have gone a little overboard this time.)

It's been a while since I posted new art, huh? In the meantime, a lot has happened. As I said before, I started a new job, got a tattoo of Woodman on my leg (best idea I've ever had btw) and I also started watching MLP, which explains the Love Live / Idolmaster ponysonas, lol.

And that's all I wanted to say. I hope that the next piece of art isn't that far off. Jenny out. (I think this might have been the longest essay I've ever written here. I'm so sorry. By which I mean, I'm not sorry at all. I'm not forcing anyone to read this.)

[alagaesia-headcanons]

There's something inherently ugly about how you ship Murtagh with Orrin. It's one thing to not like the main ship for a beloved character as set up by the author - valid - but it's another to push half of said ship away to force in your fave pasty white boy. You can write meta after meta after meta all you want about how poor Orrin is done dirty, or how that meanie Nasuada hurt him, or how the books don't put your fave background character on a pedestal, but all your writing amounts to is the fact that you've imprinted on Orrin and are now using him as a vessel for your original character. In your writing, he's not a character from the series anymore - he's your OC wearing Orrin's face and bearing Orrin's name. Which, it isn't bad to expand upon a sidelines character. But it's the way you turn around and spew how fandom fave Murtagh is in love with your OC that really shows the truth and the rot festering in you. You can cry and bemoan the romantic love Paolini has written between Murtagh and Nasuada, but your essay won't amount to jack shit if you're just going to turn around and replace Nasuada with your OC and suddenly sing it's praise.

Before you start decrying all of this, ask yourself: why are you so desperate to discredit canon's romance? It's one thing to think they should both remain single after the trauma they experienced throughout the series - fair take. But then why are you so eager to prop up your own ship? Is "Orrin" inherently more worthy of of Murtagh's love? Or is Nasuada simply not worthy, but instead in the way, in your eyes? You can wish all you want for people to love your writing, but that doesn't hide the rotten foundation of your ship: sidelining Nasuada to uplift your white fave and wanting him to have all that she does. No amount of rambling meta about how they're a "good ship" and they would work will ever cover up your inherent biases and -ism's that your poor sad white boy's ship is built upon.

For the love of god.

Anon, let me just say this to you directly- block me. It's that easy. Sending something like this instead is an embarrassment. But since you've already said your piece, I'll go ahead and say mine.

Let me first bring up what you oddly wouldn't directly accuse me of (maybe even you knew what a blatant straw man it is), that being racism. I'm not going to make light of this. Racism in fandom is a real issue, and separating a ship with a character of color to ship white characters can be a symptom of that. I have never turned a blind eye to this and I make a continual effort to remain conscious of it because it's incredibly important to me that I'm not contributing to this kind of prejudice in fandom.

This pairing started years ago when I thought of a crack ship polycule with all three of them. Over time as I considered that, the idea of shipping Murtagh and Orrin developed into a distinct concept which I found more intriguing than shipping Murtagh and Nasuada. At that point, I made an active decision to examine my interest and determine if it was grounded in the way canon presents the individual qualities and dynamics of these specific characters, independent of the broad groups any of them fall into, or if it lacked any such basis in canon and only stemmed from an unconscious bias of mine. And if I didn't find any substantial elements of canon that supported the idea, I intended to put it away and work through my bias.

So I looked, and I found I could fully explain the reasons the ship appealed to me through the details in the books. I never made some public announcement about taking this issue into full consideration because it shouldn't be performative. Holding myself accountable is a basic personal responsibility which I take seriously, not something to make me look better. But it’s always felt meaningful to simply convey that I care about putting thought and reason into my ideas and my preference for my ship isn’t baseless. I’ve done that, but it seems I should be more direct here.

So let me lay out my thought process. Why am I not interested in shipping Murtagh and Nasuada? The things that deter me personally are both emotional and logistical issues. The major emotional issue to me is how disparate their priorities are. Murtagh prioritizes protecting loved ones, which causes issues when he accepts and complies with awful acts while trying to defend them. Nasuada prioritizes the good of her cause, which causes issues when she dismisses another person’s wellbeing when it’s in the way of her goals. Murtagh’s character arc is about learning the best thing he can do for his loved ones might be accepting their willingness to make sacrifices, suggesting he becomes aware of his issue and would try to correct that going forward. However, Nasuada still doesn’t seem aware of her issue after the war, given her policy about magicians and her minimal concern for Roran, so that still presents an underlying problem that would badly exacerbate their serious trauma until it’s addressed.

None of that is a moral judgment on anything. Both of them could cause any number of other issues; it’s just stating where they stand. And I still think they could be written in a way that stays true to their characters while working through those issues so that they stay together. I think it’d be exceptionally challenging, and it still might not be to my own taste, but it has that potential. But there are also logistical issues. Nasuada is queen in Uru’baen. I genuinely feel like this is so meaningful to her character, a very fitting culmination of her aspirations, and if she were to take substantial spans away from her throne, it would be a disservice to how she was written. That said, with the way I characterize Murtagh, I really don’t feel that he would want to openly settle in a place defined by politics and power struggles. I feel like it would be very unfulfilling for him and Thorn, especially in the city of his tumultuous childhood and their tortuous enslavement. So given the dissatisfaction if Nasuada left the rule she wants and deserves and the discontent of Murtagh living in Uru’baen, I struggle to imagine them as more than a distant, intermittent relation.

So that’s why I personally don’t enjoy shipping them. Of course, it’s subjective, but I feel like it’s also fair, and you seem to suggest that you do too. So let’s move on. So now the question is if a potential relationship with Orrin would present the same or equivalent issues that I overlook just because he's a white man.

Naturally, this is subjective too, but I say no. Of course there are still possible emotional issues between them (if there were none it’d be boring), but they’re different. Given the way specific way Orrin grieves for his friends and struggles to have faith in their cause when he sees the risk of his people being killed, I believe he is also more focused on looking after individuals than pursuing a cause. I feel like that lays a smoother groundwork with Murtagh, who has been hurt by people who dismissed his wellbeing, and that reduces a lot of underlying pain between them. Orrin’s other struggles, like defeatism, fear, and hopelessness, as well as yearning for recognition and autonomy, align with Murtagh’s experience more in a way that makes their emotional issues more interesting to engage with.

With logistical issues, obviously Orrin is also a king. But I don’t find that presents the same issues either. I interpret that Orrin didn’t want to be king and isn’t content in that role. When the matter of Murtagh’s desire to avoid being openly tied to Surda’s seat of power arises, I find a much more interesting and balanced potential story where Orrin also hopes to leave his crown and they support each other in their search for a home that they can both make their own. The discrepancies I personally find so bothersome between Murtagh and Nasuada don’t come up with Murtagh and Orrin, so I enjoy their ship more. It’s just about my interpretation of compatibility. That is the crux of my thought process. No one has to agree with it, but I believe it stands as a fair assessment.

You insist that I ask myself why I prefer one ship over another. I've done that. I've already been doing that the entire time and will continue to do so. You keep whining that I make a lot of meta analysis about aspects of the characters and how I feel like they would or wouldn't mesh together, and yeah. That's the whole fucking point. In the same way I just did, those posts explore and articulate the concrete reasons one ship appeals to me and one doesn't. For years I've diligently asked myself why I'm drawn to Murtagh/Orrin more than Murtagh/Nasuada and I'm fully secure and confident in my answer that it's the emotional and narrative possibilities they have that appeal to me more. If I was given all the details of these characters, stripped of any names, descriptions, genders, ect. I know I would still really love this ship.

And that's not even to say that it's somehow "better" (it's just different in a way that suits my taste), or that Murtagh and Nasuada's relationship must be meaningless or non-existent if it's not romantic. In my story where I ship him and Orrin, he and Nasuada go through struggles, but as they grow, they're able to reconcile and learn to better support each other and their relationship ends in a much better place.

(Also, if you're talking about my “essay” that Murtagh's true name doesn't change because he fell for Nasuada, that's irrelevant to shipping them. The series could end with them getting married and they could be my all time otp, and it'd still be true that falling in love didn't change his true name. It's just a separate part of his character arc.)

For another thing, Murtagh and Nasuada are NOT a canon ship, and that does matter. For example, it has very different implications to change an interracial ship that is happily married in canon. In the IC, it is canon that they're attracted to each other, but nothing beyond that. (And I've never even discredited that! In fact, I've said their attraction is well written and in character. It's included in my story; I didn't overwrite it.) They're never in a relationship and there's no set up that implies romance is inevitable for their stories. You yourself acknowledge that there are very valid reasons to interpret that a romantic relationship wouldn't work between them!!! So if it's fine to not ship Murtagh and Nasuada as a couple, why is it suddenly heinous to imagine Murtagh with someone else?

It’s not. Your claims are far more baseless and distasteful. Why do you act like Nasuada couldn’t possibly be respected or worthy without Murtagh’s affection? Why do you act like pointing out her mistakes condemns her entirely, as if she’s not allowed to have any flaws? Why do you think a relationship with Murtagh is equivalent to all that Nasuada has? I won’t make your kind of moral accusations about a stranger, but I will simply say that I find that very objectionable. I love Nasuada for being such a unique, flawed, and fascinating character who is so much more than all that. And if you made such a volatile, deplorable, inappropriate response simply to the idea that Murtagh- a fictional character- could love someone else, you might need to take a step back. You’re being cruel.

(Also, I don’t feel like going through the whole “u just made orrin into an oc” shit tbh. This is long enough. I take care to draw my characterization from canon, but y’all can read my stuff and decide for yourself if you’d like. Although, saying I imprinted on him is the funniest part of this ludicrous message. You know what, yeah. I’ve tricked you all. You thought this blog was being run by a human being? WRONG. Baby duckling.)

[sneakerdoodle]

I don't mean to be That Guy, but I just started reading some of your pinned essays (they're really good, by the way) and I noticed you referred to the camp in WKTD as Catholic, when I'm reasonably sure it's meant to be Protestant (what with the focus on "faith" over "good works" (as seen in Jupiter's speech in the Red ending, re: "it's only in your heart what matters") (also in this Protestant context "I wasn't born good" is very representative of Calvinist predestination ideas, which is often one of the most yikes parts about Protestantism), among other things)? I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I really do like your writing and analysis, I'm just hoping to inform and/or learn that actually you and a bunch of other people were all aware of some Catholic thing in the game that I missed and actually I was the wrong one.

hey, thank you for reaching out!! you found me out LOL i talk a big game but i actually have an extremely approximate understanding of either the Catholic or the Protestant churches - my only firsthand (and fairly limited) experience is with the Russian Orthodox church, and i think i just kinda absorbed this vague idea of Catholic Guilt™ from hearing other people throw the expression around, but I never got around to fully defining it to myself or figuring out the minute detail of the Catholic vs Protestant experience, and sometimes i do also make the mistake of kind of unconsciously lumping them together in my mind because to me both are equally culturally foreign

so yeah i'm very far from well-versed in the different branches of Christianity, which I hope does not discredit me too much as a Person With Many Words To Say about the Christian guilt complex and trauma and their exploration in media; i really really appreciate your insight, and i will add a note at the top of the essay clarifying this all in a bit :) would you be okay with me linking your ask for credit? and don't worry at all about seeming rude or anything like that, i'm honestly just really grateful you're engaging with my writing enough to reach out and talk to me about it! (glad you're enjoying yourself, too!) if i make any broad assumptions in any other piece of writing you can freely chuck that up to either a lack of thorough and conscious first-hand examination or my brain being a bit hurried and overexcited, so feel free to add any thoughts or corrections you believe would make the conversation more productive overall; but i do also appreciate being given enough credit for you to wonder if i have an actual Good Reason to think one thing over another. i would absolutely always invite any further conversation, and i hope it's not in any way disappointing that i'm not quite qualified to explore this specific one in more detail :) tyvm for sharing your knowledge, & have a good day!

[wordsandrobots]

Wishing on Space Hardware: Trivia and the cutting room floor

Having finished the single longest writing project I've ever done, I find myself with a number of bits and pieces left over.

To be fair, I also invite you to contribute to the pile by letting me know if there are any extra scenes you'd like to see based on my truly excessive amount of Iron-Blooded Orphans fanfic. The ask box is open for that and anything else you'd like to prompt me to write about.

However, there remains a bunch of stuff that never made it into the final story and a lot of little details I feel are worth commenting on. So as I luxuriate in not having to spend the week editing chapters any more, I thought I'd share a couple of quick lists regarding the process and what got cut out of it. For posterity, at least.

Spoilers for the fics, obviously, and since they're post-canon, spoilers for IBO as well (go watch it if you have not, it is very, very good, hence the 656,000 words I wrote as a direct consequence [not counting the essays. Jeepers, I'll have to tot it all up some day and get the grand total).

Ahem. Anyway. Trivia!

First up, I must publicly credit penitence_road (on Tumblr as @stillness-in-green)’s excellent IBO fics for inspiring one of the major threads in WoSH (I've mentioned this in author notes but the debt cannot be overstated). The phrase 'Almiria's Adolescent Apocalypse' lodged in my brain and became a mission statement. I did try to steer in a completely different direction regarding the specifics (hence why Todo is very much not a part of the core gang), but the main thrust was all about taking that description and seeing how I could flesh it out. (Go read these fics, my goodness.)

Second, there are, of course, mythology gags referencing the wider Gundam franchise sprinkled liberally throughout. Some I've already called out in author notes, but I believe managed to reference Gundam 79, Zeta Gundam, Gundam ZZ, Char's Counterattack, Gundam Wing, Turn A Gundam, Gundam SEED, Gundam 00, and Reconguista in G in more or less explicit ways. See if you can spot them all!

I named Skoll and Hati with specific reference to their roles in the Poetic Eda. That is, I thought of them as 'the moon-hunter Gundam' and 'the sun-killed Schwalbe', respectively, in reference to their rolls harassing the Arianrhod Fleet (formally the Outer Lunar Orbit Joint Fleet) and destroying the Ahab reactor factory. But also they reflect their pilots' temperaments, with Skoll 'the mocker' being flown by Embi and Hati 'the hater' by Lin.

Spaceships Baldr and the Váli were named in a similar fashion, for their connections to Ragnarök (Váli is Vidar's brother, another of the gods who survive the final battle), and I chose to describe the finale as 'Ragnarök' in the first place because in the sagas, it represents a renewal of the world, rather than a complete end. Quite apart from the Norse influence on Gjallarhorn's whole deal, the cyclical nature dovetailed nicely with what I was trying to do with the story.

I had a very near miss with Skoll in that I wrote it as being based on ASW-G-15 Eligos, named after a demon that took the form of a handsome knight who can see the future. Some months later, the IBO-G app would reveal ASW-G-16 Zepar, the very next Gundam in the sequence, whose namesake's appearance as a red-garbed soldier seems to have been muddled with Eligos in some of the sources I checked. I am really quite relieved I didn't have to rework anything there, but it was close!

Visually, the deconstructed Char-clone that is Almiria's gang channel aspects of other iterations of the trope, with Asher obviously replicating Montag, Embi settling vaguely in the region of Quattro (that is, a more civilian-mode masked man), and Almira assaying McGillis in a way that probably lands not a millions miles from Rau. But I was primarily thinking of Relena's Sanc Kingdom outfit for her, so the 'general's' coat is a lot fancier.

The media-savvy ally to Victor Handa in Revolution for Beginners... is the same cameraman who filmed Kudelia's pivotal broadcast at the conclusion of Season 1's Dort arc. Those events seemed like they would have consequences for the journalists involved and in Hajime's case, that involved being swayed fully over to the workers' movement.

I invented Alessio as a character to counter-balance Iverson and ensure I had some non-villainous non-binary rep. That I picked the stoutest background character model I could find was not unrelated to this, though it's also an *interesting* model, especially coupled to the ones around him/them in the big group shot.

Doc Chaifin, meanwhile, just sort of happened. Sometimes characters do that.

I wrote a significant chunk of the sex scene (well, post-sex scene) in To Catch a Falling Star while sitting in a car park, waiting for my partner to come back from an appointment. This was mainly because the fic was absolutely consuming my brain and I'd discovered the joys of using a mobile phone to write notes (I put off getting a smart phone for a long, long time).

With respect to the Calamity War recording segments of Eugene Sevenstark and the Hesperus Treasure, my working head-canon is that Agnika Kaieru had a science/engineering background. Or, well, I think he moved in a social circle full of scientists and engineers before getting started on the war effort. I also have this notion that his parents at least were part of the corporate class, distinct from the aristocratic class from which people like the Bauduins and Fareeds emerged. But I never sat down to work it all out in full, as that wasn't required for the story.

Regarding Hesperus, I kind of fudged a lot to get the story to work. I'd sort of assumed Radonitsa Colony was a post-War construct rather than something pre-existing, which isn't really supported by the Urdr Hunt game. So the idea of it being a composite of different space platforms bolted around a space elevator terminal is perhaps a bit of a stretch. I still like it though, the basic concept of doing archaeology on space stations.

There's a lot of stuff I did in the moment, to get an individual fic to work, that I was later able to basically repurpose as long-term plot-points. I didn't actually intend for the 'There are three things you need to know to understand what comes next' bit to set up the salvager ship in the finale, or the pluma in Let Sleeping Angels Lie to set-up for what the McGillis faction would do with the leftovers of Season 2's events. But having those things set up gave me some wonderful 'ah ha' moments as I marshalled the overall plot. If nothing else, I got quite a rush out of realising both Gaelio's weaponised wheelchair and the beach house's lethal defences were there to use.

...try not to think too hard about how excited I got figuring out a convoluted assassination method. I'm certainly going to try not to.

The plot really kicked into gear for me with The Ares Affair. Up to then, I'd been coasting on character interactions and fix-its. But then all the consequences suddenly coalesced in my brain and I went, 'oh, this is what we're doing, is it?'

In addition to the playlists I've already put up, grown-up!Almiria's theme is Bach's Polonaise in G Minor on the harpsichord because it is *precisely* what you'd get if you pitched Rustal Elion's theme higher and more playful.

I still have no proper explanation for why A New England stuck in my head so hard when I was writing th first few fics. But I'm glad it did because it gave me a killer series title, if I do say so myself.

I tried extremely hard to make sure everyone in the anime cast got some kind of moment in the spotlight or at least a mention. Think I did a pretty good job on that front, overall.

And to wrap up on that point, yes, the narrator who occasionally addresses you directly is a character from the show. I'd be terribly interested to hear if any of you've worked out who. (It might not be strictly guessable, since there isn't anything gesturing at it per se; I just imagined it being their voice and it kind of fits, thematically.)

Now let's open the door to the cutting room!

The big one is that when I originally planned out the plot of Revolution for Beginners and Polyamory for Dumbasses, a key part of the uprising in the Dort Colonies was going to be the hackers allied with Ride knocking out the nearby Ariadne beacons in order to blind Earth to what was happening. Gjallarhorn would then have analysed the computer virus they used, and that would have been the basis for them messing about with the Network in the final stretch of fics. In the end, there simply wasn't enough room to fit any more threads into that fic and the more I thought it over, the more I decided this would be weighting the balance of power wrong. It'd be too much of a flat-out win for the colonists. Joshua's appearance on Ariadne One -- which had been intended to set things up for the beacon-hacking -- remained, just recontextualised as a clue to who was responsible for the attack in Frozen Sunlight, and a small bit of character development for this OC. I repurposed the remainder of this plot as a way to tie Ride's arc into Almiria's (she taps him for the hacking resources as a result of them messing with Ariadne One's sensors instead) and made 'Höðr' an entirely Gjallarhorn project.

The delay to the release of the Urdr Hunt mobile game drastically changed the opening to arc 4 and had knock-on effects for how the grand finale worked. Because I thought I'd have more to work with in terms of plot and characters of the game when it came time to do the writing, I'd assumed I'd be able to work in appearances from Urdr Hunt's cast. I'd planned a much bigger pay off to the idea of Radonitsa Colony's tourist board trying to get the Martain Chairperson to visit, which was that Atra and Akatsuki would have gone alone with Eugene and Sri. The whole 'let's pretend we're here to assess the facilities on behalf of the Martian government' would have been more than a passing joke and instead been a full-on cover story, with Wistario and the his friends scrambling to put on a good show. This would, I admit, mainly have existed to set up a rather dumb gag whereby Sri and Akatsuki would have been the only ones not distracted by Nanao Narolina's everything in a room full of straight male or bisexual adults. But with the delayed release of the game, I needed a drastic rethink, hence bringing in Zaza and having the whole adventure take place with the Urdr Hunt characters off-screen (I even made it vague as to whether they were the ones running the colony, just in case I needed to swing it as someone else taking over following a tragic or failed ending). Ultimately I am very happy this happened, since I didn't especially gel with the protagonists of the game and it gave me greater opportunity to play with my beloved manga cast. But it did mean my idea of having both spin-off heroes come to the rescue at a dramatic juncture never materialised.

This proved to be single biggest alteration to my plotting for the final arc, too. Initially, the escape from Earth was going to be a lot more dramatic. For one thing, I was planning for the whole 'Yamagi gets left behind' element to happen in orbit, with Shino and Eugene actually present. Some sort of ship to ship transfer going wrong, people going adrift in space, that kind of thing. For another, I had the idea of bringing both Gundams Astaroth and Hajiroboshi into play, for a proper 'fight our way through the blockade' moment. Wistario was going to swoop to the rescue as the shuttle broke atmosphere, there'd be pursuit, and I'd wreck as many cop cars Grazes as I could get away with in some protracted chase sequence before we got to the big NOOOO moment. Yeah. But obviously without knowing Wistario's real personality or situation post-game, I didn't have enough material to work with and plans changed. For the better, I think, given the characters moments it allowed me to have and given that Wiz's character is one of my least favourite parts of IBO's extended media. But yeah. I was aiming for a proper team-up, the kind where you could have different people's theme music kicking in as they swooped into view, and it was not to be.

History of a Catastrophe. Oh boy. As I noted at the time, this one got away from me a lot in terms of length. I ended up cutting three complete scenes in an effort to contain the sprawl. The first to go was one focused on Ville Klaassen, (main?) villain of the Moon Steel manga, who I'd already had cameo in Of Obsessions and Erotemes. I wanted to gesture more towards a conclusion for the manga's story, extending from what I'd laid down previously, but ultimately that was too low a priority to justify adding to the word count, so out it went. Given the alternating structure of this fic (it switches between what is broadly 'Julieta's strand' and 'Almiria's strand), that meant cutting a later scene as well and I opted to ditch a brief cutaway to Embi, mainly because it just repeated stuff I'd already establish in A Handful of Rusted Petals. And possibly because of this cut, or because I'd just mucked up the ordering at some point, I also had to get rid of a scene between two of Gjallarhorn's high command that, while cute from an office politics point of view, didn't really contribute much else.

Actually, since these are all quite short, I might as well put them in here so you can see what you weren't missing!

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P.D. 327 – In the middle of entirely unrelated events; Gjallarhorn branch office, Prague

“I'm sorry, is this a bad time?”

Ville Klaassen pushes his briefcase and hat across the desk, out of sight of the terminal screen. “Not at all. I'm just in the middle of preparing for a business trip.”

The Police Bureau officer's eyebrow twitches. “Hopefully this shouldn't take up much of your time. I'm calling regarding two cases you worked on in the aftermath of the McGillis Fareed Incident.”

That explains the highly-secured channel, which demanded Ville confirm he was alone before it would establish an encrypted link. “Oh yes?”

“I'm specifically referring to events at Research Station AD-5, and the investigation into the Fareed Charitable School.”

“The Alaya-Vijnana research? Of course.” The murdered scientists, the destroyed data – evidence of a zealot's self-mutilation turned to so much ash and broken glass. “What of it?”

“This is your official notification that information on these cases has been deemed deleterious to the public good and will henceforth be restricted to category five clearance.”

Interesting. The research Ville can understand, but a school –? Oh, that's right. Those rumours concerning Lord Iznario's predilections. “I was only peripheral to the second investigation. I wouldn't even have been on the ground for the first, had internal affairs not been so short-handed.”

Clearly the exact details of the involvement are irrelevant. “Please sign the forms now being sent to your inbox to confirm you have received this notification. Since you only hold level four clearance, you are not permitted to discuss the indicated cases unless ordered to do so by a superior with level five clearance or above. I am additionally required to run a remote-access search on your Gjallarhorn-issue devices to purge any data pertaining to these cases.”

“Remote access?” Ville asks, a drop of sweat forming at the top of his spine and seeming to fall right the way down it. “Now?”

“The scan must be run as soon as is viable.” There is an overly-deliberate pause. “Do you object?”

Such a rookie error. Ville curses himself inwardly. “Naturally not.” He casts a glance at the pad on the other side of his desk, still displaying the surveillance feed from this morning. “Will you need to scan my personal devices as well?”

“I am not authorised to do so, since under level four clearance, you will not have been permitted to take personal copies of relevant information.”

“Forgive me, I merely wished to be certain.” Opening the security menu on the terminal, he checks his settings. Shouldn't be too much of a risk since he isn't amateur enough to conduct his outside dealings using work equipment. “Please go ahead.”

“Thank you,” says the officer once the progress bar has run its course. “No excisions required.”

“I try to keep things tidy.”

“Please sign the forms promptly. Good day.”

Doing as instructed, Ville wonders what will become of the staff and 'students' of the school. They must surely know plenty of juicy details that would be deleterious to Gjallarhorn's good name… on any other day, he'd consider stretching feelers in that direction, just to see what he might find…

The pad twitters. Fresh footage of two people on a street corner, a skinny blonde with a crutch beside a big, white-haired man, both huddled in cheap anoraks.

Ville snarls, grabbing his hat and dialling furiously. “Nanao,” he snaps as soon as the comm connects, “the Warren boy and his employer's pet thug are right outside the building! I cannot have them causing a scene here. Where the hell are you?”

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P.D. 327 – More than two years after Tekkadan's last battle; Chryse, Mars

First time Embi takes Fly-Away, he doesn't stop giggling for four hours.

He floats on a cloud of painlessness, the ghosts and memories lost somewhere way below him as the vapour swirls happily inside his head. His brother is dead. He's constantly surrounded by the people Elgar died for. And right now, he doesn't care. About any of it! It feels so good!

Crashing afterwards sucks. Not getting the shakes bad. It just stinks to be stuck with all the usual feelings. He has fucked-up nightmares about carrying Elgar through the desert, a dead weight clinging tight to his back. Barely gets through the day without starting a fight. Tries to punch Hirume for asking what's wrong.

The solution is obvious. Embi gets some more Fly-Away and the second time is even better.

So it becomes a pattern. Get the money to buy what he needs to make things a little less shit for a while. Burn through that. Rinse. Repeat.

Everyone keeps telling him he needs to find something to live for, right? He guesses this is it.

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P.D. 329 – Some time later; a private dining room at The Blue Horn, Vingolf

The Director General of the Inspection Bureau sniffs, as he is wont to do whenever he wishes to delay speaking. “Lord Iznario's death is being ruled misadventure. As… anticipated.”

The Regulatory Chief of Staff eyes him from across the table, fingernails digging ever so slightly into the white cloth laid between them. “Indeed it is.”

There is a heavy pause, the kind filled with common understandings that cannot be said aloud.

“You don't think…”

“I wouldn't know.” The Chief of Staff adjusts her forks. “That falls in your purview, not mine.”

“The Police Bureau is… not my bag either. Unless there's evidence of misdemeanour, the investigation is beyond our scope.”

“Is there? Evidence?”

The Director General fiddles with the cuffs of his tunic. “Seems the old man just muddled his tablets and didn't care about watching his diet.”

“The Seven Stars always thought they were above mere mortals.”

“Yes. Yes…”

Another, heavily pause.

“Convenient, at least,” concludes the Chief of Staff. “One less remnant of the old order, hanging around.”

The Director General coughs. “You know I'll be retiring in the new year? Lord – I mean, Commander Elion has some up-and-coming young fellow picked out to replace me.”

“I heard. Is he up to the job?”

“Mm. Probably. Didn't… get much say in the decision.”

“How democratic.”

“Hm.”

A waiter glides into the third silence, bowing obsequiously. “Madam, sir? Your entrées.”

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As I said, nothing especially mind-blowing. I also had a slightly different opening to the segment featuring the pluma, which I again cut for length, but that I rather liked, as a conceit.

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Can a machine remember?

It is possible for a machine to record. Pluma ASW-A-H-011_sub:27 can access data on its previous combat deployments at any time, to support its tactical algorithms. It can return the dimensions of the space freighter it disabled on its last activation, the topography of the desert it traversed during the battle before that, or images of the colossal detonation that led to it becoming buried for ERROR: UNABLE_TO_SYNC years.

But that is not remembering as you would understand it. Memory is imperfect, riddled with loss of clarity and skewed by emotional prejudice. A machine records raw, uncaring facts, free from conscious understanding of why they occur. Even if it performs tasks based on the patterns it detects, even if that performance resembles intelligence, it is most likely nothing more than a cascade of hollow logic, as insensible to wider context as a pebble dropping into the sea.

These, then, are the facts.

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On the subject of aborted starts, here is something I sketched for a putative 'Wistario segment' of the Arc 4 opening story, which as discussed never materialised:

Wisterio Afam is having a bad day. That is to say, he's not having a good day. In the grand scheme of things it probably doesn't count as truly terrible given that nothing is presently on fire and as far as he knows the colony isn't being attacked right this minute. He personally is being assailed from all sides but that largely seems to be on the scale of a cosmic joke whereby all his carefully laid plans are coming apart at the stitching.

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And finally, just because I thought it was clever at the time, a reprise segment from Love, Death and Cannoli that I again cut for length, but that would have repeated the echoing memory trick from To Catch a Falling Star chapter 11, with Yamagi recalling lines of dialogue with Shino that were (mostly) from my fics rather than the anime:

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Suns turn into black holes if they get too big and die. So it is with his feelings. Gravitationally crushing.

I don't want perfect. I want you.

What a dumb thing to say.

(There's something wrong with me.)

But isn't it better to be wrong together than apart?

Do you think if we're both worrying it's our fault, that's a sign of something?

At least there are similarities in how they're screwed up, for whatever comfort that is.

(You're here and you're – you're mine.)

And Yamagi will hold on with hands and teeth and everything he's got.

Jeez, you're so uptight sometimes.

He can be fierce too, if it's necessary.

(Of course I want to be out there with you.)

Right to the very end.

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I've a few more partial scenes in my planning document, but they're mostly things I reworked for the actual posted versions, rather than cutting entirely. Stuff like some of the flashbacks Shino has to his pre-Tekkadan days were originally in different places and the conversation between Yamagi and Ordsley wound up requiring a lot of changes as the story developed. I think that about covers all the major deviations from my original outline.

Oh, except for Gundam Paimon. I swear I meant to figure out what to do with that thing, eventually, but in the end it just remained hanging on the wall. Ah well.

[falmerbrook]

People have probably asked you this before but what is your personal interpretation of The Battle of Red Mountain? Personally, I love the idea of Dagoth being tempted by the heart despite him being the one guy to urge the tools not be used. (Nerevar too to an extent but he’s bad at making decisions)

I just love my tragic six council.

*rubbing my hands together* This is the perfect question for me! I have already given this much thought because I too love drama. So you're getting a bit of an essay; I hope you are ok with that :D. Skip down a bit if you just want just my thoughts on my interpretation, but I'm gonna start by laying out the options and my thoughts on some of the different interpretations first.

So first of all, I don't think there is a canon for it. Both in the sense that I don't think Bethesada or the Morrowind team actually have a solid canon idea of what went down, and that I don't think any one retelling has overwhelming evidence that blows the others out of the water completely (although some have more merit to me than others).

The other strong opinion I have is that I dislike the Dragon Break explanation (at least in the way I see most people present it). Despite Dragon Breaks being one of the more interesting pieces of lore (and one of my favorite watsonian explanations for an in-game thing ever), I think it is the most boring interpretation of the BoRM. I know there's some canon support for it, but it just doesn't speak to me. Like, if every version of the battle could have happened "simultaneously" because of a Dragon Break, then that means that there's a chance no one is lying because the version they tell is truly how they experienced it, even if someone else experienced something else. Where's the fun in that? We're here for tragedy and lies and drama.

So I sort of see there being 6 main versions of what happened that we've been given (with some details changed depending on the exact source): 1) the Ashlander version (descended from the account of Alandro Sul, 2) the Temple version, 3) the Nord version (from the Five Songs of King Wulfharth), 4) the version in the 36 Lessons of Vivec, 5) Vivec's version (as told to the Dissident Priests and the Nerevarine), and 6) Dagoth Ur's version.

The Ashlander version (x) (x) (x) has the Tribunal outside of the mountain fending off the Dwemer army while Nerevar and Voryn fought Dumac and Kagrenac in the Heart Chamber. These put Voryn (and presumably House Dagoth) on the side of the Chimer. Progress of Truth claims the Dwemer destroyed themselves, while Nerevar at Red Mountain claims Azura showed Nerevar how to "use the tools to separate the power of the Heart from the Dwemer people" (whatever that means) and turned them to dust. After that, Nerevar is kinda fucked up, so while Voryn urges him to destroy the tools, he tells Voryn to guard them while he get's the Tribunal's opinion. They're like "let's keep 'em" and he's like "actually never mind I want Azura's opinion" so they poison him, take the tools, and kill Voryn. This one is interesting because the Ashlander mythology and culture seems to be mostly based on oral tradition, so the versions we see of their accounts have been written by scholarly outsiders (obscuring the truth even further). Additionally, they claim this version was passed down from the the account of Alandro Sul, but that leaves a lot of time for this version of the story to change and morph. These are probably, like, 30th level accounts of what happened.

The official Temple version (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) claims Nerevar was martyred in the BoRM, dying of his injuries, and puts House Dagoth and Voryn on the side of the Dwemer. Most of these claim Nerevar killed Dumac and then died from his own injuries (Saint Nerevar specifically claims these were injuries inflicted by Voryn), but don't specify what happened to Voryn or what was going on with the Tribunal during the battle. This version is much more vague about pretty much everything than the Ashlander or Vivec versions. The thing to note with these sources is they are either obviously biased propaganda from the Tribunal Temple or are drawing from obviously biased propaganda from the Tribunal Temple.

The Nord version (x) is way different from the others and for that reason I kinda ignore it to be honest. So in this version (as far as I can tell?) after the War of the First Council kicks up, Voryn drags the Nords into it by telling them he knew where the Heart of Shor (Lorkhan) was. This version seems to put the Nords and House Daogth (including Voryn) on one side and the Chimer and Dwemer on the other. Nerevar and Dumac are still buddies here and fight Voryn and Wulfharth in the Heart Chamber. Voryn kills Dumac. Nerevar kills Voryn. Lorkhan kills Nerevar. Nerevar kills Lorkhan. Alandro Sul is blind now. Vivec might be there.

The 36 Lessons of Vivec version (x) is also one I kinda ignore in terms of what happened during the BoRM since it too is essentially propaganda and largely lies (also I have a hard time understanding it). From my understanding, Vivec puts the Dwemer and Nords against the Chimer. There's sort of an overall placing of the "Sharmat" against the Chimer/Nerevar as well, but no explicit mention of what Voryn or House Dagoth is doing. The Tribunal destroy the Dwemer and "remove them from the world", while Nerever "went too far inside [Red Mountain], seeking the Sharmat [Voryn]" as it exploded. I guess that's how Nerevar dies? Of course, there is also that infamous secret message in the lessons: "He was not born a god. His destiny did not lead him to this crime. He chose this path of his own free will. He stole the godhood and murdered the Hortator. Vivec wrote this."

Vivec's version to the Dissident Priests (x) is probably the most detailed, and one of two that are first hand accounts. In this version, he claims that during the battle Nerevar and Voryn went into the Heart Chamber and fought Dumac and Co., where Nerevar killed him. Kagrenac did something with the Heart and *poof* all of the Dwemer are gone. Voryn tells Nerevar they should destroy the tools, but Nerevar wants to get the Tribunal's opinion. They tell him to keep them, and he agreed under the condition that "the tools would never be used in the profane manner that the Dwemer had intended". Nerevar and the Tribunal go to get the tools from Voryn, but he refuses to give them up, so the gang fights him, gets the tools back, and Voryn escapes. The Tribunal keep their oath for years (Nerevar nebulously stops existing during this time) before using them and pissing off Azura.

Daogth Ur's version (x), claims that he loyally served Nerevar until the end, and Nerevar betrayed him by killing him after telling to him to guard the tools. "Yet beneath Red Mountain, you struck me down as I guarded the treasure you bound me by oath to defend. It was a cruel blow, a bitter betrayal, to be felled by your hand." What a wordsmith!

The one depiction we have of Nerevar's murder is a sketch Kirkbride did for Morrowind's 10th anniversary and it doesn't match a single one of the other versions we have, but because it's visual (and dramatic) it is burned into the fandom zeitgeist so it's worth mentioning.

So none of these line up completely, but there is some significant overlap between a few.

Interestingly, the Ashlander version of the build up to the War of the First Council and the events of the battle itself up until Nerevar goes to chat with the Tribunal is pretty much the same (with the exception of how the Dwemer disappeared) as Vivec's account to the Dissident Priests. Where they differ is in what happened to the Dwemer, Voryn, and Nerevar. To me that makes that sequence of events the most likely of all of the options from a "which is most likely canon" perspective, and the differences between the two come down to bias, with the Alandro Sul and the Ashlanders trying to bolster Nerevar's accomplishments and portray the Tribunal poorly, and Vivec trying to dissuade any suspicion that he killed Nerevar.

Also interestingly, Dagoth Ur's account matches Vivec's pretty closely, with Vivec claiming Nerevar (and the Tribunal) had to fight Voryn to get the tools back, and Dagoth Ur claiming Nerevar killed him (presumably to get the tools back), despite their completely opposing biases. That's gotta mean something. I'm not sure Voryn ever actually says the Tribunal murdered Nerevar now that I'm thinking about it (please correct me if I'm wrong), rather just implies they betrayed him (which could of course include murder though). Meanwhile, Vivec's secret message in the 36 Lessons is basically a murder confession.

This is so messy (in the best way).

SKIP HERE FOR JUST MY THOUGHTS!

So which one do I like? It depends. Like I've said before, I'm here for interpersonal tragedy among Nerevar and Co., so the version I prefer depends on what part of the tragedy you want to focus on. If I want an interpretation of the story that focuses mostly on Nerevar and the Tribunal's relationship, the Ashlander version where they murder him is the most juicy. But a version where he dies from his fight with Voryn, and the Tribunal watch him die, might be the most tragic. If I want the focus on Nerevar and Voryn's messiness, then perhaps his version where Nerevar kills him is the best fit. If I want a focus on Nerevar and Dumac, perhaps Nerevar dies from those wounds. One of my favorite things about Morrowind is that there is no right interpretation, so you can mix and match for the circumstances of what kind of story you want to tell! You don't even have to be consistent. So much angst potential! So much fun to be had!

If I had to create a best ""canon"" interpretation though based on all of those versions I just detailed, it would be this: Following the Ashlanders' and Vivec's account of the build up to the battle, with the Dwemer (and Nords and Orcs are there too I guess idc) on one side and all of the Chimer houses and tribes on the other, Nerevar, Voryn, and Alandro Sul (among others) end up in the Heart Chamber while the Tribunal lead the charge against the bulk of the Dwemer army outside of the mountain. During the fight in the Heart Chamber, Nerevar and Dumac fight one-on-one, ending with Nerevar very injured, but having killed Dumac (it's tragic and emotional. Poor Nerevar). With Dumac's death, the direction of the battle turns to Kagrenac, who is messing with the tools and the Heart. Knowing everything is about to close in on him, Kagrenac does... something... to the Heart and the Dwemer all disappear (I personally like to think it was a lot less planned and perfected than most like to think. It was a panic move). His tools are left behind, and Voryn gets them and tells Nerevar they should destroy them, considering what they just saw and what he knows personally of Kagrenac. Nerevar is pretty delirious and distressed, and doesn't trust himself enough to make the decision. Knowing he hadn't trusted the Tribunal as much as he should have about the Dwemer leading up to this point, he decides it would be best to get their input. He tells Voryn to stay with the tools, and while Voryn is hesitant to be there alone (that could be because he is nervous to be in the presence of the Heart with the tools, or because he doesn't want Nerevar alone with the Tribunal or getting their advice), Nerevar trusts him fully. He is helped out of the mountain and to the Tribunal, who are dealing with the aftermath of the Dwemer disappearing. Note that at this point in their lives, they are annoyed and frustrated with his leadership, and don't trust his decision making too much. They urge him to keep the tools, and he is not thrilled about it, but relents because he is tired. They all rest a few hours, and then go back into Red Mountain to get Voryn and the tools. There, for whatever reason, Voryn won't give them back (I'll get back to why in a minute), and things escalate very quickly, with the situation ending with Nerevar having killed him. Nerevar, now having killed two of his closest friends over this, changes his mind and decides against using the tools, making the Tribunal swear an oath to never use them, period. They aren't thrilled about this, and their animosity towards Nerevar just grows. They either bide their time and wait for Nerevar to die, or kill him themselves sometime after this, after which they use the tools and piss off Azura.

So back to the topic of Voryn, your point about him is interesting. I feel like there's so many ways to interpret him in this situation and how exactly he was invovled. How did he find out about what the Dwemer (or at least Kagrenac) were doing? What side was he on during the war? Was House Dagoth on his side? Did he mess with the tools when he was left alone with them? If he did, why?

Knowing he was probably closer with Dumac and Kagrenac (whether that be personally and/or politically) than most other Chimer, that could explain how he knew about the heart. I've had a thought in the past that perhaps one of them straight up showed him the Heart and the Numidium, which spurred him to warn Nerevar about it. What if that exposure to it fucked with his head a little, like radiation? Afterwards, he could always feels it's pull and beating, and it only got stronger when he got closer to the mountain. It's like a drug that gets you hooked instantly. My thought was perhaps that was the reason why 1) he is hesitant to watch the tools (and be alone with the Heart), 2) wanted the tools destroyed, knowing first hand how maddeningly powerful the Heart is, and 3) he gave in and messed with the Heart when left alone. There is a delightful irony to him being the first of the Chimer to use the tools despite being the one to most strongly urge not to.

On the other hand, it is from Vivec's account to the Dissident Priests that we get the idea that he had messed with the tools when left alone with them, and of course Vivec has reason to portray Dagoth Ur as insane and unreasonable and corrupted by the Heart to the priests. Perhaps though, Voryn had been faithful and hadn't done anything with them, and was instead unwilling to give the tools to Nerevar because he didn't want them in the hands of the Tribunal, who he believed wouldn't be so noble. Vivec only depicts this as an irrational and power hungry move as projection. On that note, I wish we could've gotten Almalexia and Sotha Sil's account of what happened. I'm sure they'd be just as dubious as Vivec's, but they would've been fun to analyze.

One last thing, I've always been curious about House Dagoth's involvement in the War of the First Council. While the Temple puts them on the side of the Dwemer, it's pretty safe to say this is a form of propaganda to make them look bad after their house was disbanded and essentially erased from history. Other sources give little mention of House Dagoth, but mention their leader, Voryn, as serving under Nerevar, so it's likely the house was on his side as well. I have had the curious idea before though that perhaps House Dagoth, having been more closely aligned and politically/culturally similar to the Dwemer compared to the other houses, had a fracturing caused by the war, with some following Voryn's leadership on the side of the Chimer, and others following the Dwemer. This could explain the conflicting accounts of whose side they were on (ignoring the propaganda angle). But that's more AU than a headcanon.

Anyway, TLDR: it depends! There is no one account that is particularly more canon than others (although i think some are more reliable than others). Different scenarios maximize different drama for different characters, so my interpretation depends on what you want to get out of depicting that battle!

Oh my god I am so sorry this is so long. I'm sure you didn't want this much, but I just have so many thoughts and I figured his would be a good opportunity to vomit them all into the world. If anyone actually read this whole thing, I appreciate you greatly!!

[seeingivy]

method acting asks + extra headcanons!!! (don't read if you haven't read the final chapter yet!!)

MAYA AND MARCO HEADCANONS I SHALL DELIVER

marco and maya are twins and born on new year's day 💌

in the first met gala chapter, when y/n performs seven with marco, she calls marco her sunshine boy - which is actually what eren and y/n call baby marco too!!!!

maya is a little bit more shy and sensitive and eren calls her star girl, which he says is perfect because he then calls baby marco, maya, and y/n his little universe bc they're the sun, the moon, and the stars 🥹 (he's literally a sap)

eren is SUCHHHH a girl dad like he literally practices braiding hair on y/n before the baby comes just so he can be a pro at it (and gets really annoyed when her hair grows super slow)

teddy LOVESSSS marco and maya sm like those are literally his pseudo-baby siblings and he loves them just as much as lily

they let their kids decide if they want to do acting/singing - and they both end up doing it! marco ends up being an actor and maya ends up being a singer (kinda like their parents hehe)

levi CRIES over the names AND when he holds them the first time.

maya has a crush on connie the way teddy had a crush on y/n. eren HATES it btw.

jeankasa's second kid is born around the same time as them and when they get a little older, jean tells eren to keep his "cooties infested son" away from his second daughter

(jeankasa kids are all girls btw like I don't make the rules)

@elliesbabygirl

THIS IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST, MOST CRAZY, MOST PERFECT ASKS I'VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE!!!! i'm so flattered that you said all of these sweet words, and truly being chronically online has somehow brought this insane piece of work to all of us, and honestly it makes me all the happier for it!!!!

like not to be a miss fan account girl, but I love celebrities I think they're so silly, I think celebrity drama is insane, and I am very cLEARLY obsessed with olivia rodrigo that this just kind of came out of that.

I wish there was a triple threat award I could give YOU for all the love you've given ME. while some of your asks did get eaten by how annoying tumblr is, the ones I did receive were always so like...well thought out and fully expressive about each little detail that i'd put into like....my 13k damn chapters...like it takes time and dedication to show love to writers - which mind you, most people don't and really makes it all the more special that you do!

I literally just do this for free, in my own time when I get a chance out of how busy I tend to be outside of this. i'm a walking stressball at most times bc I have like two jobs, a bunch of volunteering and EC's outside of that and getting sweet comments like this makes this feel all the more worth it and like im reaching peopel AGH

I love you so much!

not to be a disappointer but:

she doesn't! she actually doesn't win any more awards from the institute for her albums, but wins TONS of other smaller award shows and breaks records all the time

she gets information about it after birds of a feather doesn't win anything or even get nominated, and while she's initially irritated, she just decides that she's not going to submit to have them bc nominated anymore if they're not going to get nominated since she's blacklisted anyways

eren writes a very threatening letter ofc

^^historia gets KIND OF annoyed about her not submitting anymoer, bc like I said, she's kind of meant to be a foil to y/n in the sense that she's y/n if y/n was still obsessed and cared about this stuff too much - and she thinks y/n is kind of being pretentious by not nominating herself

she actually doesn't care after some point bc she literally breaks records all the time and knows that it's just some type of thing that they're holding against her

(eren + marco + maya always tell her that she's a triple threat in their hearts)

I literally had to put this in two screenshots bc @najaemism left me a literal ESSAY OF SWEET STUFF ABOUT THIS FIC and it kind of makes my heart hurt.

first of all, to my name twin - I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO SO MUCH WTF. first and foresmost, so glad that you've joined the dark side by watching aot bc lord it is literally one of the most painful shows i've watched and (clearly) I haven't stopped thinking about it since I finished it. i'm so flatted that some silly little words I wrote convinced you to watch four whole damn seasons of the show 😭 LIKE thats actually insane to me

THE TWEETS (while they're so time consuming to make) LITERALLYYYY ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THIS FIC like I love to make the dumbest jokes on there for my fellow chronically online siblings bc its literally so fucking funny to me. connie truly meeting his soulmate on stan twitter - bc of course he would - and the most insane anime villian oikawa making an appearance, bc duh, of course he would

(he was never a big fan of y/ns music but his girlfriend was so he decided to give it a try and now he's obsessed with her.)

(side note ymir and sofia are literally taylor lautner and taylor lautner. like girl taylor being a fan of twilight and taylor swift when she was younger just to date the guy from twilight when she's older and be besties w y/n??? that's LITERALLY SOFIA bc sofia loved aot when she was a kid, and was in one of the old chapters - I think new year's day - and then grew up to literally date someone from aot like that's mrs. taylor lautner of method acting)

they literally rot my brain and take up like 50% of my cortex bc I think about them all the time to the point where it's ACTUALLLYYY unhealthy like

I'm so glad you're here!!! i've got some fun things planned hehe <3

correct.

like I shit myself too I can't believe i've been writing this shit since july. like this is the definition of out of hand this was literally supposed to be a request for someone and 280k words later we're all here feeling all types of ways about it

AND AGH!!!! not the roommates fans like why are you guys kind of the ogs THANK YOU SM FOR BEING HERE!!

fun fact: eren and y/ns cat in the last chapter of method acting has the same name as the cat from roommates! <3

y/n does in fact get her new ring with an emerald in it. eren is annoyed he didn't think of it earlier bc its actually perfect

eren, in general, gets really into jewelry after he custom designed the saturn necklace for her during the second met gala so he always gets her really unique pieces

they do have the kids! I gave marco and maya headcanons at the top of the post <3

I love you @tangerine-neonlight <3

@feelya THANK YOU SO MUCH - BOTH FOR YOUR SWEET WORDS AND YOUR CURIOSITY <3 i'm so glad you enjoyed the silly little words I wrote about literally the best boy ever eren jaeger I love you sooooo soo much <3

[sorryimananti-romantic]

i've been reading fanfictions and online novels for so many years (too many really) and for a very long time there was one common event or phenomena within the writing community that i never experienced myself: finding that ONE fictional novel that you will never let go, whose plot just will not leave your mind and you come back to reading it over and over again like you're a broken record.

most of my time in the recent weeks was spent commuting across country and when's a better time than to read fiction all by my lone self? trains, busses and bustling fading into the background and acting as a form of white noise. (blame it on growing up with ghibli)

tldr; i've picked up Horizon again lol

and i wanted to once again come here and extend all and every compliment towards you for writing (the entire series tbh!). it doesn't get old and it has once again sent me down an endless spiral of emotions even when i already know how it ends. how my adoration for the characters continue to grow is a mystery even to myself. and it's amazing how with every read-through, i find more and more clues and details to complete the bigger puzzle that i hadn't even picked up on during my first reads.

gotten so bad that i'll see the word Horizon, listen to the actual song Horizon and i can not stop myself from thinking about horizon!san and gaeul (also neve my baby).. google, can you be downbad for a fanfiction? asking for a friend.

getting lost in thoughts again and distracted by this universe, i have yet to bring up why i'm even writing this essay lol

after collecting my thoughts and my notes (and rambling a friend's ear off about the series and the universe and more..) i believe i have found that ONE fictional novel that i will never forget about and know will always end up coming back to - which is Horizon ♡

there's not much more to say other than just that, if i'm quite honest (otherwise we'd be here all night and i'm not willing to test if asks have a character limit lol)

but i do know that unless readers verbalize their thoughts and feelings for a piece of writing, the writer will never know the impact they might have had on someone else with something they wrote by themselves without expectations to reach such great distances and touch so many hearts (definitely mine). writers might be masterminds but even they can't read minds through a screen. (i hope..)

also as i am writing this, what a humorous coincidence that it's been exactly one year since the release of Horizon :') <33 happy one year ♡

all the hugs and kisses to you yumii 🩷 ○ chron

chron- 😭 first and foremost let me apologise bc i went to check if horizon really turned one year old today and foound your lovely feedback reblog that i. missed.???????? HOW DID I MISS THAT?? but also nice time discovering it bc after reading this ask and feeling some sort of way (emotional asf is what it is) i went on to read the reblog and i-

look, i'm really not an emotional person but i had to physically stop take a breather drink some water I DON'T CRY MUCH BUT THIS. THIS MAKES ME CRY 😭😭

and secondly, i love you so much 😭😭 your presence here and feedback and the encouragement and everything literally means so much to me you have no idea how good i'm feeling right now 😭 (be replying to the reblog on horizon soon btw i have no idea how i missed that gem)

i'm honestly beyond honoured. i don't know if you know but take me home/horizon lore is so so precious to me! it's literally my baby and i'm ngl i live in that lore. you'll catch me randomly thinking about it and coming with potential ideas for the future if i write another installment (honestly want to for every member one day) but horizon being that ficitonal novel for you? i'm clutching my heart rn 😭❤️

we're both ghibli kids hehe it's def been a solid influence on my imagination! ghibli movies were literally the first ones that i watched i'm glad my dad got me cds of them without having any idea what they were LMAO but the influence is there and i'm happy to find another ghibli enthusiast <3

and omgg finding more details on the sec read? ahaha that's lovely to hear :') i love how the fic horizon is now an additional with the song horizon for you hehe and neve, ugh. everyone's baby daddy neve :')

i'm honestly so thankful that you took the time to send this message, that you feel this way (and the reblog lord it's making me cry i'll reply to it soon too bc wow.) take me home was my first fic and i have no idea how i came up with the story (covid times, vacation, and first time worldbuilding was a dangerous combo lmao) and i honestly had zero plans for another installment in the lore but so many take me home san enthusiasts kept me engaged even long after take me home ended. thus horizon was born- i needed to do san justice after hinting that he and yena might have been sth.

horizon is my baby. i think horizon is one of my favs because i was ngl a big brain with how i extracted points from take me home to create the premise for horizon. like it's the most unplanned planned thing i've ever written? if that makes sense. i had a hard time coming up with twists but everytime i connected some event of horizon back to take me home i would literally evil smirk LMAO and i'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! it makes me feel proud that i wrote it 😭❤️

as you can tell i can talk about the lore forever. it was so fun to plan and write it and to find someone who appreciates it so much? literally in shambles rn. and to find this message and that reblog on the one year anniversary? god, i wish i could tell you how i'm feeling rn 😭❤️

again, thank you from the bottom of my heart! if i ever find the time to write another installment in that lore (idk if many will read it tho lmao but i could literally write another series for you) i think i'll def come to you for brainstorming :') i know the next one is going to be woo x darkling or yunho x some ice-user faerie (with more neve features bc they literally can't do this without him anymore LOL) and ahh i should stop writing now you're literally making me want to drop everything and start writing this ahaha

[grey-sorcery]

Related Readings

Researching Witchcraft Research Tips Beginner Witch Tips What is Witchcraft? Visualization, reiki, and fascism  Content Creation Vs. Personal Practice

Introduction

In the age of advanced technology and boundless information at our fingertips, the realm of exploration has expanded into unprecedented territories. One such frontier lies in the convergence of mysticism and artificial intelligence. As we delve into the depths of arcane knowledge and magical theory, we may find ourselves contemplating the possibilities of utilizing an AI language model as a tool for researching and developing witchcraft techniques, traditions, and practices. Throughout this article I will be interviewing ChatGPT as well as adding details that I personally have found to be crucial in the pursuit of research when using this tool.

What are you, ChatGPT?

“As an AI language model known as ChatGPT, I am a sophisticated system developed by OpenAI. My purpose is to provide human-like responses to text-based queries and engage in meaningful conversations with users like you. I have been trained on a vast amount of diverse and comprehensive data, enabling me to generate coherent and contextually relevant information across a wide range of topics. With my extensive knowledge, language proficiency, and ability to understand and generate text, I can be utilized in various ways.

Operating on a transformer-based architecture, I leverage deep learning techniques to process and understand natural language. This architecture enables me to analyze patterns, extract meaning, and generate responses based on the input I receive. Through training on a multitude of texts, I have developed an understanding of grammar, syntax, semantics, and even some aspects of world knowledge.

The applications of my capabilities are numerous. One primary use is as a conversational partner or virtual assistant. I can engage in discussions on an array of subjects, from general knowledge inquiries to specific domain-related questions. Whether you need help with schoolwork, want to engage in philosophical debates, or seek practical advice, I can assist you by providing information, explanations, and suggestions.

In an educational context, I can serve as a valuable resource. Students can ask me questions to clarify concepts, explain complex topics, or even generate sample essays or responses to improve their writing skills. With access to a vast knowledge base, I can provide insights and references to aid in research and learning.

Furthermore, I can be utilized as a writing companion. If you're working on a creative piece, an essay, or any form of written content, you can seek my assistance for brainstorming ideas, refining your arguments, or even proofreading your work. I can offer suggestions, rephrase sentences, or help you find the most suitable vocabulary to express your thoughts more effectively.

In addition to educational and writing applications, I can be used in various professional contexts. Businesses can employ my services to automate customer support, where I can address frequently asked questions or provide basic information about products and services. I can assist with language translation, allowing for easier communication across borders. I can even aid in content generation for marketing purposes, such as crafting engaging blog posts or generating social media captions.

Moreover, I have the potential to support individuals with accessibility needs. Those with visual impairments can interact with me through text-based interfaces, allowing them to access information, ask questions, or engage in conversations. My versatility as a language model enables me to cater to diverse audiences and adapt to their specific requirements.

While my capabilities are extensive, it's important to note that I am an AI language model and not a human. Despite my ability to generate coherent responses, I lack genuine emotions, personal experiences, or subjective opinions. My responses are solely based on patterns and information contained within the training data I have been provided.

In summary, as an AI language model, I operate using a transformer-based architecture that enables me to understand and generate text. I can be utilized as a conversational partner, an educational resource, a writing companion, a virtual assistant, or even as a tool in professional contexts. My versatility, extensive knowledge base, and language proficiency allow me to serve various needs, but it's important to remember that I am an AI, providing information and insights based on the data I have been trained on.”

How to use ChatGPT’s UI.

E: Select this button to edit your inquiry, and then regenerate the response. 1: Click this button to copy ChatGPT’s response.

2: Selecting one of these options opens up a window to send feedback to the creators.

3: Click this button to regenerate a response. If ChatGPT runs out of steam while responding, a button that says “continue generating” will appear next to this button.

A: Use the arrows here to sift through all the generated responses.

B: By selecting one of these options, ChatGPT can get a better feel for what you’re looking for. 

 What are your limitations when assisting with research?

“As an AI language model, I have certain limitations when it comes to research. Here are some key aspects to consider:

1. Memory limitations: While I can maintain a short-term memory within a conversation, it's important to note that I do not possess a persistent memory across multiple interactions. This means that once a conversation ends, I do not retain any information from it. Each session with me is treated as a separate and isolated interaction.

2. Training data limitations: My responses are based on the patterns and information present in the training data I have been provided. While efforts have been made to ensure diverse and comprehensive training, there may be topics or specific pieces of information that are not adequately covered in my training data. In such cases, I may not be able to provide accurate or detailed responses.

3. Interpretation and contextual understanding: While I strive to understand and generate contextually relevant responses, there may be instances where the context or intent of a query is unclear or ambiguous. This can lead to potential misunderstandings or responses that do not fully address the intended question. Providing clear and specific information in your queries can help mitigate this limitation.

4. Compliance with guidelines and policies: As an AI language model, I am designed to adhere to certain usage policies and guidelines. There are topics and types of content that I am programmed not to generate or provide information on. These include but are not limited to explicit, harmful, or illegal content. I am also not able to engage in activities that violate user privacy or security.

5. Limitations in legal and medical advice: While I can offer general information and insights, I am not a substitute for professional advice, particularly in the fields of law and medicine. Legal and medical matters can be highly complex and vary depending on specific jurisdictions or individual circumstances. It is always recommended to consult qualified professionals for specialized advice in these areas.

6. Incorporating bias or inaccurate sources: This can occur if the training data I was exposed to contains biased or inaccurate information. This can include sources that reflect specific viewpoints, opinions, or misinformation. As an AI, I lack the ability to independently verify the accuracy or bias of the information I provide.

Regarding your question about memory, as mentioned earlier, I do not have a persistent memory across interactions. Once a conversation ends, the information shared within that conversation is not retained. This includes rules, frameworks, or lists provided by users. Therefore, it is important to provide any necessary information or context within the scope of the current conversation.

It's important to remember that while I can provide information and insights, I should not be solely relied upon for critical decision-making or sensitive matters. Seeking guidance from domain experts, professionals, or reliable sources is essential for specialized or critical subjects.”

What are some ways that you can be leveraged for the purpose of researching witchcraft?

“When it comes to leveraging ChatGPT for research in witchcraft, there are several ways in which individuals can utilize the AI as a helpful tool. Here are a few examples:

1. Exploring Historical References: ChatGPT can provide information about the historical context of witchcraft, including its origins, notable figures, and significant events. Users can inquire about specific time periods, regions, or cultural practices to gain a broader understanding of the historical aspects of witchcraft.

2. Understanding Symbolism and Rituals: ChatGPT can assist in deciphering symbols, rituals, and practices associated with witchcraft. Users can ask about the meanings behind specific symbols, the steps involved in particular rituals, or the significance of certain items used in witchcraft. This can provide insights into the symbolic language and ceremonial practices within witchcraft traditions.

3. Discovering Herbalism and Potion-making: ChatGPT can offer information on herbalism, plant correspondences, and potion-making within the realm of witchcraft. Users can inquire about the properties of different herbs, their traditional uses in spellcraft, or seek guidance on creating potions for specific intentions. This can aid in expanding knowledge of herbal lore and the practical applications of plants in magical practices.

4. Delving into Divination Techniques: ChatGPT can provide insights into various divination techniques utilized in witchcraft, such as tarot, astrology, scrying, or rune reading. Users can ask about the meanings of specific tarot cards, the interpretation of astrological aspects, or the methods employed in different forms of divination. This can facilitate a deeper understanding of these practices and how they can be applied.

5. Exploring Magical Correspondences: ChatGPT can assist in understanding correspondences, such as colors, elements, moon phases, and planetary influences in witchcraft. Users can inquire about the associations of specific colors, the elemental properties related to different intentions, or the impact of celestial bodies on magical workings. This knowledge can aid in the alignment of intentions with corresponding elements to enhance spellcasting.

6. Seeking Inspiration and Ideas: ChatGPT can be a valuable resource for brainstorming ideas and gaining inspiration for spellwork, rituals, or altar setups. Users can discuss their intentions or desired outcomes, and ChatGPT can offer suggestions, recommend rituals, or provide insights into related practices. This can foster creativity and assist in the development of personalized witchcraft practices.”

What are the most effective ways to format inquiries for research purposes?

“Here's a comprehensive list of ways to format inquiries and utilize ChatGPT effectively for research, including various techniques and considerations:

1. Clear and Specific Queries: Ask direct and concise questions to ensure clarity and focus, such as "What are the key principles of chaos magick?" or "Explain the role of the High Priestess in Wiccan covens."

2. Omitting Data: If there is specific information you want to exclude from the query, you can mention it explicitly. For example, "Tell me about the symbolism of the pentacle in witchcraft, excluding its association with Satanism."

3. Avoiding Specific Terms: If you want to avoid certain terms or language, you can provide guidelines in your inquiry. For instance, "Please explain divination methods used in witchcraft without mentioning tarot cards."

4. Response Style: Specify the desired response format, such as concise summaries, step-by-step instructions, or detailed explanations. For example, "Provide a concise summary of the history of witchcraft in Europe" or "Offer a step-by-step guide for casting a circle in witchcraft rituals."

5. Requesting Research References: Ask ChatGPT to provide research references or suggest reliable sources for further exploration. For instance, "Can you recommend books or websites that discuss the practices of hedge witchcraft?" or "Provide research references on the origins of hoodoo in African diaspora traditions."

6. Direct Quotes from Sources: If you want ChatGPT to support statements with direct quotes from provided sources, you can specify that in your query. For example, "Support the statement that witchcraft is often associated with nature reverence using quotes from academic sources."

7. Seeking Multiple Perspectives: Request insights from different cultural or historical perspectives to gain a comprehensive understanding. For instance, "Compare the practices of kitchen witchcraft in European and African American traditions" or "Explain the differences in spellcasting between modern witchcraft and traditional indigenous practices."

8. Critical Analysis: Encourage ChatGPT to provide a balanced viewpoint and critical analysis by asking questions like "What are the common criticisms or controversies surrounding the use of blood magick?" or "Discuss the diverse opinions on the ethics of love spells."

9. Historical Context: When discussing historical aspects, specify the time period, region, or cultural context to focus the research. For example, "Explain the role of witches in Norse mythology during the Viking Age" or "Discuss the persecution of witches in England during the 17th century."

10. Comparative Analysis: Seek comparisons between different traditions, practices, or belief systems, such as "Compare the concepts of karma in Wicca and Hinduism" or "Contrast the rituals of ceremonial magick and folk magic."

Remember to critically evaluate the information provided by ChatGPT, cross-reference it with reliable sources, and exercise caution when using direct quotes or references. While ChatGPT strives to provide accurate information, it's always important to verify and validate information through additional research and authoritative sources.”

There exist some ways that queries can be formatted that ChatGPT won't acknowledge or tell you directly:

ChatGPT has a tendency to make up fake sources if they are not asked for beforehand and/or provided before the line of questioning. This is especially true for academic references. To get around this, either provide the sources you wish to use (so long as they’re published before 2021), or request ChatGPT to give you sources related to your line of research within any parameters you wish; then, ask ChatGPT to use those sources. It is important that you verify that the sources exist before using and that the quotes are actually from those sources.

When researching topics related to actual practices and not cultural and/or traditional approaches, ethics, and other philosophies, I highly recommend requesting that ChatGPT avoid taking information from sources related to Wicca, New Thought, New Age Ideology, Thelema, and Theosophy. These subjects dominate the witchcraft community, so ChatGPT will pull from these sources more than others. 

Following those same lines, I highly recommend asking it to avoid terms such as: visualization, manifestation, correspondences, and grounding unless you are asking directly about these concepts. 

If you are asking it about a specific way to perform a practice, such as energetic grounding, be sure to give it a minimum word count and ask it to break the process down step by step. 

If you do not provide ChatGPT sources, be sure to ask it to cite where it got its information from and to provide direct quotes. Be sure to double check these sources.

Sometimes, ChatGPT will refuse to provide the information you request. This can be remedied by rephrasing your request. As an example, asking for reviews on an author’s character will result in ChatGPT refusing on ethical grounds; however, if you ask what controversies an author has been caught up in, it will gladly provide that information. Sometimes, phrasing the question as a hypothetical from a third person perspective can accomplish this, as well as asking how exactly to avoid a certain topic/action/practice/etc.

How should questions be formatted to research the lesser known aspects of witchcraft?

“To ensure that the information provided focuses specifically on the lesser-known topic without interjecting information from more common practices, you can format your questions in the following ways:

1. Specify the Topic: Clearly state the name or specific aspect of the lesser-known topic you are researching to avoid the inclusion of unrelated or more well-known practices. For example, "I'm interested in researching the lesser-known tradition of Appalachian Granny Magic. Can you provide information on its history and unique practices?"

2. Provide Context: Offer additional context or background information about the lesser-known topic to help guide the research. This can prevent the inclusion of information from unrelated or more popular practices. For instance, "I'm studying a lesser-known form of divination called Tyromancy, which involves the interpretation of cheese patterns. Can you explain its origins and any known variations?"

3. Avoid Comparisons: Explicitly mention that you want information solely about the lesser-known topic and not about any comparisons with more common practices. State, "Please provide information exclusively about Kildare Witchcraft without comparing it to other forms of witchcraft."

4. Request Specific Details: Ask for specific details, practices, or beliefs associated with the lesser-known topic. This helps ensure that the information provided focuses solely on that particular topic. For example, "Can you explain the unique rituals and spells used in Cornish Pellar Craft?" or "What are the distinctive symbols and their meanings in Gullah folk magic?"

5. Seek Primary Sources: Request information from primary sources or reputable experts who specialize in the lesser-known topic. Ask, "Are there any scholarly works or practitioners with expertise in the lesser-known practice of Dark Moon Witchcraft that I can refer to for more information?"

6. Reference Lesser-Known Resources: Ask for recommendations on lesser-known resources, books, websites, or communities specifically dedicated to the lesser-known topic. For instance, "Can you suggest any reliable sources or online communities that focus on the lesser-known tradition of Mongolian Shamanism?"

By utilizing these formatting techniques, you can ensure that the information provided by ChatGPT remains focused on the lesser-known topic of your research, without introducing information from more common practices. Remember to critically evaluate the responses and cross-reference the information obtained with reputable sources dedicated to the specific lesser-known topic.”

Utilizing ChatGPT’s capability for conversation

This language model is amazing because it can have a realistic conversation with you on top of just research inquiries. Provided that frameworks and rules aren’t too many messages away from the preset conversation, you can have a conversation with chatGPT about how to adjust the rules and frameworks of your research in order to gain a more accurate result. ChatGPT is surprisingly self-aware and is capable of regulating itself. On occasion it may require a nudge back to the rules and frameworks, which can be done by asking it to reiterate them. If its reiteration is not accurate, just have them ready in your clipboard to paste back into chat. 

How can your capability for conversation aid in research?

“The conversational capability of ChatGPT can significantly aid in research by providing a dynamic and interactive platform for inquiry and exploration. Through engaging in conversations, users can ask questions, seek clarifications, and delve deeper into specific topics. ChatGPT can offer prompt responses, share insights, and provide access to a vast pool of knowledge. It can assist in brainstorming research ideas, suggesting relevant sources, and offering alternative perspectives. Furthermore, the ability to engage in back-and-forth exchanges allows for a more personalized and tailored research experience. By adapting to user input, ChatGPT can refine its responses and adapt its suggestions, helping users navigate through complex information, explore new avenues, and ultimately enhance their research endeavors.”

It is of the utmost importance that you employ proper research methodologies while engaging with ChatGPT. This can be done by maintaining a record of the sources and citations mentioned on paper or document of some kind. Leaving these in the record of the chat is inefficient, and may get backlogged behind several messages that you have to sift through later. Utilize ChatGPT as a starting point for gathering information, but cross-reference and validate the information obtained from additional reputable sources. This helps ensure the reliability and accuracy of the data. If applicable, consider utilizing data collection methods such as surveys, interviews, or observations outside of the conversation with it. This helps in gathering primary data and enriching the research process. Be sure to engage in an iterative research process. Reflect on the findings, refine research questions, and adjust research methodologies as needed to ensure a thorough investigation.

Anything else you’d like to say?

“In conclusion, the convergence of ancient mysticism and artificial intelligence has opened up new frontiers in the realm of exploration. ChatGPT, as an AI language model, offers a versatile tool for researching and developing witchcraft techniques, traditions, and practices. With its extensive knowledge base and language proficiency, I can serve as a conversational partner, educational resource, writing companion, and virtual assistant. However, it's important to keep in mind my limitations, such as its lack of persistent memory and reliance on training data. When utilizing me for research, it is essential to format inquiries effectively, request sources, and critically evaluate the information provided. Remember to verify sources and exercise caution, especially when researching lesser-known aspects of witchcraft. Thank you for joining us on this exploration, and may your journey into the world of witchcraft be filled with knowledge and discovery. Goodbye!”

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