#Jamil: *facepalms*

[mysteryshoptls]

Twisted Wonderland LINE Stickers: Bkub Okawa Collab

These are the next set of LINE stickers, sorted by dormitory. You can find previous requested batches here: [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle (1): Good!

Ace: No sweat

Deuce: [crackle, crackle]

Cater: [snap, snap]

Trey: [sudden toothbrush]

This isn't a literal translation of Trey's sticker, I just interpreted the vibe of the sticker from the way it says "su..." with him lifting the toothbrush up.

SAVANACLAW

Leona (1): Resting's hard work, too.

Leona (2): Meat.

Ruggie: [nom, nom]

Jack: Don't get me wrong!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul (1): [gleam]

Azul (2): I hate thiiis～!!

Jade: May I ask a question?

Floyd: Hey, hey～

SCARABIA

Kalim (1): Yay!

Kalim (2): My bad!

Jamil: [smug]

POMEFIORE

Vil (1): Thank you.

Vil (2): Absolutely Beautiful

Epel: [teary-eyed]

Rook: Oh là là!!

IGNIHYDE

Idia (1): A totally impossible game...

Idia (2): Workin' it for my faves ♪

Ortho: Zoom!

Idia (2) is a play on words: "oshi-goto" is what it says here, meaning "doing activities that show support for my oshi," which plays on "o-shigoto," meaning "work/job."

DIASOMNIA

Malleus (2): [stares]

Silver: Zzz...

Sebek: Wake up!!!!

Lilia: Khee hee hee

NRC

Crowley: I am so very kind.

Grim (1): Myaha!

Grim (2): Yanno

Grim (2) is literally just the verbal tic he has in JP so I used what many fan translators used for it way back when

ALL STUDENTS

Trey/Jamil/Rook: La dee dum ♪

Azul/Jade/Floyd: [intimidating aura]

Kalim/Silver/Ruggie: Facepalm Brigade

Jack/Epel/Sebek: [wham, bam]

Idia/Ortho: GG!

Requested by Anonymous.

[harunayuuka2060]

Asmo: In every seduction exam we had, MC would ace them without a problem~.

Azul, Jamil, and Leona: ...

Azul: Interesting. Do you have any photos to prove that?

Asmo: Photos? We don't have those, dear~.

Leona: *looks a bit disappointed*

Jamil: *gives Leona a side eye*

Asmo: But we have videos~.

Azul: My! How convenient!

MC: *walks into the room, carrying some boxes* What's convenient?

Asmo: Darling~ Can I watch with your besties in my room~?

MC: Sure. But for the love of the whole Devildom, Asmo, don't make them watch anything questionable.

Leona: We're not kids.

Azul: Indeed!

MC: ...

MC: Azul, that face-

Jamil: Mr. Asmodeus wants to show the videos of the seduction exams you took.

MC: ...

MC: Asmo-

Asmo: You have already given your permission, darling~

MC: Why you-

Lucifer: MC, you need to check on Levi and Idia.

MC: Huh? Why?

Lucifer: Levi is on the verge of summoning Lotan.

MC: *facepalm* I'll be there in a second. Asmo-

*Asmo, Azul, Leona, and Jamil have already left.*

MC: ...

Lucifer: MC.

MC: Yes, yes. I will go there now. Luci, keep an eye on Malleus for me, okay?

Lucifer: Oh. Don't worry about him. He's doing well with Beel and Belphie now.

Belphie: I see.

Beel: So you're not a threat at all.

Malleus: ...

Malleus: What does that mean?

Lilia: Yes. He's only said that he's a prince and an heir to the throne.

Belphie: Yeah. I mean, we have a prince too back in Devildom.

Beel: Lord Diavolo is his name.

Belphie: He's MC's lover too.

Beel: But he could barely spend time with them.

Belphie: He was too busy.

Lilia: That sounds tough.

Malleus: Even so... How did they become lovers?

Beel and Belphie: ...

Belphie: Because of Lucifer.

Beel: Yes. Because of Lucifer.

Lilia: *understanding it immediately*

Lilia: I didn't know MC also works that way.

Malleus: Huh?

Vil: I don't like how we are separated by sins.

Riddle: Yes. Why was I grouped with Mr. Satan, Grim, and Cater?

MC: ...

MC: I'm not gonna answer that.

MC: Anyway, has anyone seen Mammon and the others-

MC: *received a call from him*

MC: Hello?

Mammon: Yo, MC. Uh. Is it okay if we do a separate party?

MC: ...

MC: What do you mean?

Mammon: I'm jamming with your buddies.

MC: Hmm. Yeah. It's okay-

Ace, Deuce, and Epel: I'M JUST CRAZY FOR YOU!

Kalim: *the sound of him and the others cheering*

MC: ...

MC: Call me again if you need some food or something.

Mammon: Okay~. *hangs up*

Vil: Was that Epel and the other two potatoes?

MC: Yes. How about we enjoy this party too?

Riddle: I walked past Mr. Asmodeus's room earlier.

MC: Right. I almost forgot about THAT.

[dilvuc]

『TWO HOUSEWARENS, ONE IDIOT』

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: comedy

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗: male

𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖑𝖊: two housewarens, one idiot

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: idia x m!reader x malleus

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: none

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: you're from the scarabia dorm, kind, gently, also…dense, but that doesn't stop two housewarens from having a crush on you.

The flame blue haired male peaks around the corner with his little brother watching you hanging out with Kalim. The tips of his hair turned pink as he listened to the melody of your laughter.

"...S-should I…tell him my feelings…?" Idia whispered to himself. "But he's so dense like every boring MC in anime, tho, [Y] is different…"

The Ignihyde housewaren plopped down on the floor and hid himself with his hood to cover his red face, "What can I do? What can I do? Could I just walk up to him and confess? Can I do it?"

"You can do it, oniichan! I know you can!" Ortho cheers for his brother. Idia smiles timidly, feeling motivated by his little brother, "Y-you're right. I can do it! I know I can—"

"Hey, Idia." You greeted the male, causing him to let out a high-pitched scream. You chuckled, "I saw your hair around the corner, so I thought I could check on you."

"[Y]! Oniichan has something important to tell you!" Ortho beamed. "Right?"

"I-I-I-I-I…" Idia stammered with his face steaming like a kettle.

"Idia…?" You tilted your head. The flame blue haired male whines then runs away with full speed, "I'm sorry, I can't!!!!!!!"

"O-oniichan!" Ortho called out for his brother before turning to you and apologized, "Sorry, [Y]! Bye-bye!"

"???" You watch as the Shroud brothers run away, bewildered on why Idia was turning red. Is he sick? Does he need to go to the clinic to rest? Whatever it is, you will never know.

"Odd…why did he run away…?" You wondered to yourself.

"...It may be oblivious that he likes you." Jamil mentioned. You tilted your head, "Like a friend, right? Cuz' I like him too. As a friend."

The tan skinned male facepalm. You and Kalim are almost the same, but you're denser than he ever was. You're gonna need to understand more. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I need to apologize to Kalim for this one."

"Eh?"

"You're intelligent." Jamil stated. "However your stupidity is at an even higher level when it comes to love."

"H-hey…Your compliment suddenly turned into an insult…" you sweatdropped.

"[Y]." A deep voice startled the both of you, swiftly turning your attention to the Diasomnia housewaren, Malleus.

"S-sir Malleus." Jamil shuddered.

"Hey, Mal. What brings you here?" You greeted the raven haired male. Jamil turned to you in shock and nudge you with his elbow, "Don't address him by that nickname."

"Why?"

"Don't you know…?"

"I know, but why do we need to address him as Sir Malleus?"

Malleus chuckles at the conversation between you and Jamil, turning your attention to him, "No need, Viper. I'm fine with him calling me by that nickname, but I've come here to discuss important matters with you, [Y]."

Malleus glanced over your shoulder where Lilia, Sebek, and Silver(who's asleep), cheering for him. The raven haired male fiddling his thumbs timidly, trying to think of how to confess, but failed, "Nevermind…"

"Eh?" You and Jamil hummed in question as Malleus disappeared, leaving behind green fireflies. The Diasomnia students ran past you and Jamil to find the raven haired male. Sebek stopped and pointed his finger at you, "You're no match for Malleus-sama, human! Remember that!"

"I'm so confused why Idia and Malleus would run away from me. Did I do something wrong?" You scratch the back of your head.

The tan skinned male tries to progress on what's going on here. Not until his brain finally made progress. "N-no way…Don't tell me they have a crush on [Y]!"

"Heh? Why are you looking at me like that?" You sweatdropped.

twst masterlist

rules

[ppnuggiex]

Howdy! I saw requests were open, but if not then please do ignore this one!

It's kinda crack? But mostly angst to comfort, essentially something goes wrong in reader's alchemy class and they get hit by an extremely strong spell that makes it seem as if they're dead, but really they're just in a super deep sleep. So once the spell wears off, they wake up right in the middle of their own funeral cuz everyone thought they were dead. Gender neutral pronouns for the reader with riddle, kalim, malleus and floyd as the love interests! In headcanon format as well pretty please!

　　　　　　TWST x gn reader

　　　　『　riddle ,, kalim ,, malleus ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader    』

　　-> reader gets hit w/ heavy deep sleep spell n characters think theyre dead

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, a bit of angst

　　— this ended up being a little more on the humorous side 😭

- kalim

| • hes so distraught ,, hands on his head as he freaks out and shakes you violently . jamil finds out and facepalms . mr crewel told him nothing was wrong ,, to just give you time but kalim couldnt .

| • he swore you had died ,, and because of that he done held a big fancy funeral . he done invited all the dorms and everything .

| • you woke up when he was in the middle of talking about how you were such a nice and loving partner ,, how he wished you didnt have to die this soon .

| • get this man a tissue bc he starts bawling when you whip that coffin open .

- riddle

| • hes a bit more calmer than kalim in this situation ,, taking care of you whilst you sleep . but he always felt like something was off .

| • that was until one day he went to check up on you ,, your skin was oddly cold and he couldnt feel your breathe or see your chest move when you did breathe .

| • he may or may not have panicked at that point ,, checking your pulse and not feeling anything .

| • riddle thought the spell done killed you then ,, after all you didnt have any sort of resistance to magic so it was a possibility .

| • cue him tending your funeral and trying his best not to start crying in front of all those people .

| • you were his partner ,, his life and joy and now youre gone . or so he thought until you threw that coffin door open and smacked the person speaking right in the face .

| • and standing up in the coffin and falling face first out .

- malleus

| • bro acted the same as kalim . he did not stop to think about checking your pulse or anything . his immediate reaction was that you died . and all the sudden it started to rain very hard .

| • he starts acting like a child who lost his mom ,, panicking and shaking your body as much as he could .

| • then he pulls out some shakespeare typa shit ,, going on about how woe is me ,, my beloved hath died ,, taking from his grip as your soul was dragged away from him .

| • he has a small funeral for you ,, ready to speak for you when a miracle happens .

| • you awaken !! malleus is so shocked he gets a little teary eyed ,, running over and making sure youre okay before getting all baby girl .

| • in the end you walk out carrying him bridal style whilst sebek is fretting over his image .

- floyd

| • he thought this was one of those pranks people do to their pets . where you record yourself pretending to be dead to see what your cat does or something .

| • so he kinda ,, kicked you a few times and is all like ,, wake up shrimpy this isnt funny .

| • then jade has to break the news of the possibility you mightve been struck too harshly by the potion and maybe youre just ,, yknow ,, passed on .

| • floyd refuses to believe it ,, you couldnt have left him . you wouldnt do that to him . you wouldnt abandon him like that .

| • as much as he hates to admit it ,, he definitely cried a bit that night . he shows up for the funeral ,, still in disbelief youre dead .

| • but boooyy is he whipped when you ended up being asleep . he doesnt care who’s there ,, he runs over and rips you out that coffin so fast .

| • blames you for worrying and leaving him ,, and makes you promise not to do something like that again .

[traumxrei-archive]

【 these returned affections 】

prompt #3: They just told him they liked him but they get shy and say “never mind, forget it” …and he wasn’t letting them dismiss it just like that (ft. jamil viper, kalim al asim)

gn! prefect (you/yours), drabbles, word count: 584 words

a/n: back at it again with the drabbles featuring, coincidentally, the scarabia duo !! it's so fun making scenarios for the both of them bc of how different their personalities are... anyways, hope you enjoyyyy

Kalim Al Asim

Kalim was...sleepy. Why was that? Well, he was lying down on his bed. And on a normal day that would've made him sleepy already. But there was a hand meticulously raking through his hair. The gentleness of it made him so...so sleepy....

"Senpai?" Your voice cut through his sleepy haze and he hummed in reply. "No, it's alright, you go to sleep." That was...a good suggestion. Kalim closed his eyes, feeling his breathing even out when he heard it.

"I adore you so much, Kalim-senpai," You sounded like you were smiling as you whispered.

Maybe he wasn't meant to hear that.

But Kalim was sleepy and he felt a smile unconsciously forming on his face, "I like you too." He was about to get comfortable again when your hand froze. Actually, your whole body froze.

He mustered the strength to blink the sleepiness out of his eyes, sitting up, "What happened?"

"Y-you just— Nevermind, I didn't...mean that in that way."

A pause.

"Oh," Kalim tried to swallow down the sadness he felt.

And the disappointment must've been plain on his face because you immediately backtracked, "Wait, no I mean, I do like you. A lot. But like I didn't mean to—"

"Does this mean we're dating?" Kalim blurted before facepalming. "Gah, sorry I interrupted you! What were you about to say?"

Your mouth drifted open and shut before you mumbled out, "Okay..."

"Let's go on a carpet ride," Kalim said excitedly before yawning. "Oh, maybe let's do it after we nap?" You just nodded, looking a lot more at ease. He poked your cheek, trying to see your smile that he loved so much. And he was successful, seeing a bashful smile spread on your face.

Kalim dragged you down to the bed with him, and this time, he fell asleep peacefully with you in his arms.

Jamil Viper

Jamil had been studying. Emphasis on the had, because truthfully his concentration fell into shambles as soon as you sat next to him. He understood, afterall there weren't many seats empty at the library. He still couldn't help but glance over at you every few seconds. If it were anyone else, He would be more than unruffled, but being face with you, the object of his affections...

Jamil turned off his music, keeping the headphones on his head as he drew in a deep sigh. That was when he heard your voice, speaking so low that he was sure only he could hear it.

"Jamil Viper, I like you so much."

Did...did you just—

Jamil ripped off his headphones with little grace, his voice breathless as he spoke, "What did you say?"

"You heard that?" There was panic laced in your voice. "I was just, uhm, complaining about Grim. Yeah."

"No," Jamil swallowed back a hysteric laugh. "You...you said you liked me. I had just turned off my music when you–"

There was a hand to his mouth, "Okay, okay, you can stop! Everyone's going to hear!" You lowered your hand when he nodded and you sighed, "I'm sorry. I do like you."

"You don't have to apologize for a thing, nur eini," Jamil said, grasping at your wrist. "I return those feelings. Of course I do." He pressed a kiss to your palm before entwining his fingers with yours and putting it under the table. Safe to say he spent the rest of his time at the library staring at you and squeezing your hand rather than studying. But it was worth every moment.

i hope you enjoyed the drabbles !! if you'd like to see more drabbles and ficlets with these prompts, check out the rest of ye olde 600 followers event. if you wanna see more of my other writings, check out the masterlist >:D

[ tiny translations !! 'nur eini' means 'the light of my eyes' in arabic >:D so jamil's calling you by that endearment <;3 ]

[violetlunette]

Yuu: Hm, Kalim, and Silver seem to be spending a lot of time together. I wonder… GASP! Grim: Oh, no. Not again! Ace: Yuu, do you think that everyone who talks to Silver for more than 10 seconds is in love with him? Yuu: Yes, because no one can look at that angelic and not fall in love instantly. Ace and Deuce: Facepalm Oh, brother. Yuu: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE! ~Later~ Yuu: You may have seniority in this battle of love and the moneybags to buy the weapons you need, but this battle won’t be won with gold! Yuu: It’ll be won through determination and body language! And boy, do I got determination and body language! Sways body and throws hip out OUCH! Kalim who has no idea what’s going on: :D ?? Kalim: Okay….? Well! Good luck to both of us, then! Yuu holding hip: Look, I am issuing a declaration of war, don’t look so happy about it. Kalim: Oh. Sorry? Yuu: Don’t apologize! We’re enemies in the battle of love! Glower and put on your war face! Kalim: ?? Uh, I don’t really get it. Kalim: But hey! You wanna have lunch? Yuu: No—well, yes, actually. Can Jamil make baked chicken? And something with tuna for Grim? Kalim: Sure! – part of this series

[ye-local-simp]

During SDC

Jamil:The light isnt working

Yuu:looks like the power is out.

Kalim: Power, you can come in now!

Yuu and Jamil: *facepalm*

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

I headcanon that even though the NRC boys are much more mellow than their OG counterparts, they still are ‘villainous’ kids. I can’t remember who says it but it is mentioned that every student is twisted in some way so I can imagine that they have a sort of leaning towards things that are a bit out there for normal standards.

Imagine in the House of Mouse AU, Yuu decides that it would be nice to have a Dorm and Vice Dorm Leader meeting at the club for a change of scenery (the place has gone completely silent as everyone attempts to (read: fails to) act as if they’re not shamelessly eavesdropping) and the conversation derails to someone (most probably Crowley) who had wronged Yuu. Yuu wants to just forget it and let the incident slide. The boys (except Kalim because he is sunshine in human form) want revenge.

Riddle: I’ll have his head!

Leona: As if that’ll do anything. *turns to Ruggie* I think that a little push from a great height might would certainly be entertaining.

Azul: I’ll rope him into a contract faster than you could blink.

Idia: I’m sure that I can think of a better deal. He’ll wish I sent him to the Underworld once I’m through.

Jamil: Please, my sorcery is superior to whatever it is you lot are planning. I’ll have him under my control in seconds.

Vil: Gentlemen, gentlemen, why must you brutes use such ugly methods when a lovely poisoned apple works wonders. Of course, I could always get Rook to gift wrap his heart in a this wonderfully ornate box.

Malleus: I can curse his entire bloodline, if you wish?

Yuu, whose shock and disbelief becomes more and more visible as the conversation goes on: NO! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE IDEAS ARE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! Who on Earth thinks that is how to get revenge?!

Meanwhile the Villains are nodding along to the NRC boys like they are making perfect sense with some even sporting proud grins as the Heroes collectively facepalm.

@adrianasunderworld , what do you think?

[wonderlandhour]

TWST Characters (+OCs) as Vines

-

Ash: this place is nice. What happened to the last owners?

Silver: they were eaten live by pirates, my man.

Ash: I wanna raise my kids here.

-

Ace: can my cat play basketball?

Jamil: . . .

Floyd, whispering: I'll give you 10 dollars if you say yes.

Jamil: sure.

-

Cater: ~I think I found myself a cheerleader~

Lilia with his deep ass voice: My name is Brian, captain of the cheer squad.

-

Floyd, peeking out of the pool: drugs?

Talia: no thank you.

Jade now next to Floyd: drugs?

Talia: no i-

Floyd: Drugs?

Talia: who invited you?

-

Ortho: Hey, what do you want for dinner?

Sora, sitting on a cabinet: chicken nuggets

-

Lilia: -then all we've got is the Master Bear Room-

Ash: you mean Bedroom?

Lilia: Pretty sure I know what I fucking said.

-

Malleus: *snorting smoke at a party*

Ash: wooww

-

Cheka: look at all those chickens!

Leona: *facepalm*

-

Alicia: how much money you got?

Deuce: like 69 cents.

Alicia: oh! You know what that means!

Deuce, on the verge of tears: I don't have enough money for chicken nugget-

-

That one vine of the seal playing the sax but it's just a high Floyd in the Mostro Lounge

-

Idia: ah, I would. I just got too much to do tonight.

Later Idia: *hard-core gaming with Muscle Red*

-

Leona: 2 shots of Vodka- *fills half the glass*

-

Epel: I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag.

Vil: You spilled- wha- wh-i- LIPSTICK in my Valentino White Bag?!

-

Namja: hey, I'm lesbian.

Kalim: I thought you were scarabian?

-

Idia: hello mister kitty. Can I pet mister kitty-

Grim: *bolting away*

Idia: kitty where you going?! KITTY COME BACK HERE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

-

Ash: you want something to eat?

Thalia: a bagel

Idia, hiding behind her: the souls of the innocent!

Thalia: two bagels

-

Ortho: ASHLYNN JACKSON EXCUSE MY POTTY MOUTH! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

-

Join us next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

[yuurei20]

Silver Info Compilation Part 1: Humor

Silver tends to take what people to say to him very literally: when Leona says he must be dreaming in responds to Silver’s assumption that Leona and Malleus are friends Silver responds, “In fact, I am very much awake”, much to Leona’s annoyance.

A similarly annoyed Jamil encourages Silver to talk turning the Spectral Soiree event as “Talking to us might help you stay awake” and Silver responds, “That’s very considerate of you. I was actually getting a bit drowsy.”

Ruggie attempts to joke with Silver about teaching him to haggle should Silver “ever end up out on the street”, and Silver responds with “Thanks”. Ruggie explains he is supposed to say something like, “Me, living like a peasant? That’d never happen!”

When Silver refuses to give up on pressing Leona for information about Malleus’ whereabouts Leona lies about having seen Malleus in the greenhouse, and Silver believes him without question.

When Leona appears at Diasomnia Silver says that Lilia would be overjoyed to learn that Malleus has made a friend, leading Leona to ask if he doesn’t listen to a word anyone says.

During Vargas Camp the Equestrian Team is able to earn a Vargas Badge thanks to Sebek’s efforts (he had to wander through a bog), but rather than complimenting him on the work he did for the badge Silver compliments him on getting dried off and cleaning his clothes, much to Riddle’s confusion.

Vil attempts to press Silver into being an extra in a Film Club project but Silver cannot figure out when it is he is supposed to act surprised; Vil says that his “lack of talent is…astounding.”

Original Vil: Are you just a scarecrow with an attractive face…?

NA Vil: Is your head utterly empty? Are you a mud doll?

After a dramatic call for vengeance during Beanfest (and a retelling of his childhood, befriending bears), Jack, Vil and Jamil all marvel at how difficult it is to tell the difference between when Silver is joking and when he is being serious. (“Is this some form of absurdist Diasomnia humor than I’m missing?”)

Silver also misunderstands Sebek, at times: he explains that ever since Sebek has grown taller than him, Sebek gets a “triumphant look” every time Silver asks him to get dishes from a high shelf.

Not realizing that Sebek takes pride in being the larger of the two (during Glorious Masquerade he boasts to Malleus that his outfit is one size larger than Silver’s), Silver decides that Sebek simply “gets enjoyment out of fetching things from high places”, and he does not want to spoil Sebek’s fun.

For this constant obliviousness to everything around him, Ruggie has dubbed Silver one half of what NA calls “the Facepalm Brigade”, known on JP as “ira-fuwa”: it is a combination of the word “irritating” (ira-ira) and “fluffy” (fuwa-fuwa) to describe how people get annoyed with how oblivious Silver and Kalim can be.

[yuratheicequeenn]

A/n: Heyyy Yura here! I don't see much My Little Pony x Twisted Wonderland fanfics, so i decided to write my own! My little pony was my favorite show i watched when i was a kid! Even now i still watch and enjoy it!Enjoy reading! And remember to always stay healthy and do good deeds! 💕

A Twisted Harmony (MLP x TWST)

Chapter 1: Falling into another world

"Why are we out here again?" Leona sighed walking into the deep woods with everybody from NRC

"Becauuseee! We decided to go out camping like a family! And Lilia's the dad! And Riddle's the mom!" Yuu smiled as she pointed at Lilia who was floating and giggling and Riddle making a confused expression "Why am i the mom...? What gender roles are we pushing here?" Riddle facepalmed which made everybody giggled

"I know their probably thinking i'm like the son, but i'm not. I'll be the gay emo cousin" Idia smiled jokingly

"I will be the son! The hot shot! Who's only dream... is to be a star" Deuce chimed in

"I feel like i'd be uhhh... fresh out of jail uncle?" Ashton shrugged

"And i'm the sassy aunt, who talks sh*t about everyone" Vil smirked looking at himself in his mirror

Everyone laughed as they all talked before Ortho stopped floating before scanning an area

"Everyone, there's an area with an aura i cannot explain" Ortho pointed as he started typing his scanning files

Everybody looked back at where Ortho was pointing at before Ace stepped forward to check it out, he removed the bushes out of the way before seeing a place with a magical portal...

"What... is that?" Silver blinked twice as he looked shocked seeing something like this in a forest

"Ooohh~! It's so bright and pink!" Floyd grinned as he hugged onto Yuu

"Umm... do you think we should-?"

"Hold it! We don't know what might happen if we get sucked in!" Riddle held out an arm to stop Yuu from getting closer

"Riddle has a point... but... why do you think it's here?" Jamil put a hand on his chin looking at the magical portal

"Ehhh, let's go insideee! This interests me! Even Shrimpy wants to go in~! Don't ya?" Floyd laughed looking down at Yuu

"Mhmm! Let's go go gooo!" Yuu ran towards the portal with Floyd following her

"HENCHMEN WAITTTTT!" Grim flew quickly into the portal catching up to them

"GRIM!" Riddle immediately ran to the portal

"FLOYD!" Azul and Jade shouted as they also ran

"RIDDLE!" Trey and Cater ran to the portal trying to catch up as well

"PUPPIES! NO!" Crewel ran to the portal getting sucked in

"CHILD OF MAN?!"

"WAKASAMA WAIT!"

"POTATO!"

"HERBIVORE!"

Everybody panicked and they all went into the portal and they screamed as they we're spinning around

Soon, they all fell into another world

"Ughhh..." Riddle groaned as he tried getting up rubbing his forehead as he saw the others still laying on the ground, his vision started coming back as he saw... a village, he quickly regained his senses as he quickly tried to shook the others

"Trey! Cater! Ace! Deuce! Everyone wake up!" Riddle shouted as he continued shooking them, making them groaned and some of them trying to get up "What... what happened...?" Kalim asked rubbing his eyes

"We all fell into the magic portal we saw from the forest, and somehow we ended up in another world" Riddle responded

"Sorry Riddle..."

"No no, it's ok Rose" Riddle sighed patting Yuu's back

"Well, we should probably explore and try to find someone who can help us" Epel got up dusting himself

"Epel's right, we need to find a way back to our world" Jack nodded

"Well right now we need to find somebody!" Crowley put his hands on his hips

They all nodded and went to go to the village, Yuu was blinking looking at the place 'Is this what i think it is-?' Yuu thought to herself, then they we're all stunned to saw... horses?!

"What the... horses?" Leona looked dumbfounded

Yuu gasped as she recognized this place "It's... Ponyville!"

They all looked at Yuu, surprised she knows this place

"Prefect... you know this place?" Ace raised an eyebrow

"Mhmm! This is Ponyville! It's from a cartoon show i watched when i was a kid!"

"So... a cartoon show about... magical... horses?" Ruggie crossed his arms tilting his head

"Their 'ponies' to be exact-" Yuu corrected

Yuu then pointed at the skies and the rest of the other ponies "Those are regular earth ponies, and those are unicorns and up there are pegasus'" Yuu explained

"Hmm... how fascinating" Malleus put a finger on his chin "Might be a little weird... cause we're humans here minus the merfolks, beast men, Jamil, Malleus, Lilia and Sebek" Riddle replied

"That's trueee... i mean, it's the least weirdest things the ponies have seen" Yuu shrugged

"What... do you mean by that exactly potato?" Vil raised an eyebrow

"Oh- nothing" Yuu smiled

"What are those tattoos they have near their butts-" Ruggie pointed out, making Yuu laughed at what he said

"Those are called 'cutie marks' it's what kind of talent they have based on the appearance of the mark"

"Oohh~! So like, when they find their talent it magically appears?" Lilia smiled floating beside Yuu

"Mhmm! That's what it is"

The ponies all looked at them wondering what kind of creature they are but just shrugged it off, some keep staring, suddenly there was faint sounds of bouncing was heard, as they all turned to see a pink pony with curly hair and a balloon cutie mark which was blue and yellow.

[harunayuuka2060]

Leona: I don't understand why we're doing this.

Ruggie: Hey, but admit it. It's kind of fun. Not your usual writing your research papers.

Kalim: *yells from afar* Leona! How's your investigation??

Jamil: Kalim, mind your own business. We still need to gather evidence for the mystery they tasked us.

Kalim: But our stories need to be aligned, right?

Jamil: *facepalm* Yes and no. Sensei specifically asked that we do our own task and once we're done, we shouldn't bother the others.

Kalim: Aww...

Leona and Ruggie: ...

Leona: This is going to be chaotic.

Ruggie: Yep. Definitely.

Riddle: Hmm...

Riddle: This is not adding up!

Jade: The alibis have to make sense for them to work.

Azul: You need to do your job right because we're going to re-enact that.

Floyd: I like being the suspect.

Malleus: What are you all doing?

Them: AH!

Riddle: Oh. It's you, Malleus-senpai.

Azul: We're currently solving a mystery.

Malleus: Mystery? Like solving them?

Floyd: Hm... Not exactly. You see, MC-sensei asked us to do one of the steps.

Jade: And ours should be in line with the others.

Malleus: Hm. I didn't know mysteries could be solved like that.

Azul: Floyd and I will be the actors showing how the mystery worked.

Azul: While Riddle and Jade are tasked to arrange the alibis and select which ones are plausible.

Malleus: *nods* I see. May I sit in to your class to watch?

Riddle: Well, MC-sensei wouldn't mind the least. So yes, you could.

MC: *chuckles* I'm quite excited for this. Are you feeling the same, sophomores?

The sophomores: Hell, yes!!!

MC: *laughs* *then noticed Malleus* Oh! We have a third-year here! Hello, Mr. Draconia~!

Malleus: I apologize for not asking you first before I came here, sensei.

MC: No worries! You've asked Mr. Rosehearts. That should be fine.

Riddle: ...

Riddle: How—

MC: Now, I believed everyone have completed their tasks. Let's see how your stories would be aligned.

Malleus: *has been cackling since he came back from Professor MC's class*

Lilia: Malleus? Malleus? Care to share what happened?

Malleus: It was hilarious.

Lilia: *pouts* Just tell me already.

Silver: You can ask me, father. I was there too.

Lilia: Alright. So what happened?

Silver: We were tasked to complete a mystery. We completed each a step and we started off good. Leona and Ruggie provided what was the mystery within the situation and who were likely the suspects.

Silver: Sensei applauded them, but that was when the chaos started.

Silver: The second step up to the last didn't match with what Leona and Ruggie's group provided.

Silver: The only saving grace we had was when Floyd and Azul managed to guess how the victim died.

Malleus: Rosehearts' team had guessed that it was due to a powerful curse and the reason behind it was jealousy, however— *starts laughing again*

Silver: It was only a huge misunderstanding. The suspects were guilty of attempted murder for trying to poison the victim's food. But the victim...

Silver: ...

Malleus: *still laughing*

Silver: Just died from choking...

Silver: After eating a huge meatball.

Lilia: ...

Lilia: Wow.

Malleus: And the meatball wasn't even poisoned—

Crowley: Professor MC, the third-years are now requesting for you to be their teacher as well.

MC: Hmm... That's too sudden.

Crowley: Mr. Draconia has shown some interests in your class which is a really good thing.

MC: Hehe~ Headmage, since my workload seems to be increasing... Does that mean I'm getting a raise?

Crowley: ...

Crowley: How much do you want?

MC: My mom's birthday is next week and I badly want to treat her to something fancy.

Crowley: Er... Double?

MC: Yes. Thank you~.

[yunarim]

May I request a one shot for Kalim inspired in "fool" by red velvet? Thank you so much <33

「 — why are my cheeks all pink? fool, fool! 」

♡ tags : gn reader, fluff (like an extremely sweet fluff :D), basically kalim and reader being fools in love ^^ ♡ song : fool — red velvet ♡ 1.1k words

Jamil is smart. He knew from the very beginning that Kalim’s genuine hospitality wasn’t something new and exceptional towards you only. The way you tenderly smiled at him and how you two sung fairy tale songs together wasn’t concerning, too. Well, he got two little clueless sunshines colliding together in one room, that was troublesome but he only worried of you two exposing your sunny selves to a cruel dark world, maybe that was it. 

When Jamil finally started catching on to something sweet and especially vivacious was when Kalim put a hand on his chest when you left Scarabia dorm after agreeing on helping Kalim with his homework. 

“Should I call a doctor?” The vice dorm leader threw a quick glance at Kalim, who was too preoccupied with observing his heart beat and seeming stupidly dumbstruck. 

“Oh?” Kalim reminded Jamil of an unfixable phone application with how perplexed he looked, not to mention the dorm leader’s got a habit of downloading all the trash apps he saw during intrusive ads. “Oh, a doctor. No need! I’m okay!”

You suddenly came back, a rosy cheeks of yours still hot and bright after running back here, and your smile… Ugh, were you actually some kind of an extraterrestrial heavenly dulcet being and he wasn’t aware of your divine origin? 

“I completely forgot to mention I’m free tomorrow too! Text me if you want to hang out. Well then, see you!”

A delicate giggle escaped your lips curved in a soft smile, and you dissolved somewhere in Scarabia corridors, leaving Kalim smiling like an idiot and sliding down the wall. Jamil, now truly agitated, rushed over to his master and was ready to do anything to calm him down, but Kalim just pressed his hands to his obviously red cheeks and tittered. 

“Call a doctor, Jamil,” Jamil took his phone out of his pocket. “Something’s wrong in my heart.”

“What exactly? I’ll try to describe it briefly to the doctor.”

“It’s beating so fast after skipping a bit a few seconds ago.”

Oh. Oh.

At this point Jamil facepalmed, realizing Kalim didn't need a doctor but called for one nevertheless. Just in case. 

His therapy would be watching some cringe soap operas and maybe a message from you. Most definitely a message from you though.

Kalim tossed on his bed and tried falling asleep with his eyes wide open. He did a whole research on whether it was even possible for human beings to fall asleep with a mind full of thoughts of someone. There was no way he could throw himself into the arms of Morpheus when your smile was the only thing remaining in his brain.

He was ready to write a doctoral thesis regarding you messing up his heart. Not just Jamil, but all the teachers in this college would be extremely proud of him actually studying at least something. What was the difference between ramifications of magical currents in his blood and the reason sparkles in your eyes shone brilliantly whenever you saw him? Both of those were complicated and enchanting.

Notification sound, a bird's chirping one he set just for your messages only, filled his room. He jolted, screaming out of pure joy, but was quick to tightly press his palm to his mouth so Jamil wouldn’t hear him. He felt foolish by behaving like that, it wasn’t even 11 pm to be so alarmed! And yet here he was, some incoherent mess escaping his lips. 

“Good night, Kalim!! See you tomorrow!” “Oh, I already said it today…” “Then see you tomorrow and the day after!”

He felt like something would go wrong because of how extremely gentle you were. No, no way. Not after a kitten sticker you sent to him. 

Ah, really there definitely was something happening with his heart! Moreover, was it spreading so much he got his stomach tangled and all fluttering all the times he saw you waving to him in a cafeteria full of students? 

He realized he hadn't replied when he just stared at your profile pic for an unholy amount of time. A colorful floral kaleidoscope entangled you in a fabulous dance in a meadow, gently embraced by the sunrays.

Ah really, Kalim couldn’t sleep. You were the sunshine itself. His heart was beating so unbelievably fast he almost thought it was surreal. 

Would your hands be as warm as your lips curled in a heartwarming smile if he took them in his?

He felt his legs turning into jello and ready to dance at the very same time. You just entered Scarabia, and he felt as if melting. By the way, was the sun shining especially bright today?  

“Bet you haven’t had a picnic during the magic carpet ride. Well, you gotta try one now!”

He pinched his cheeks, giggling and ignoring Jamil’s “The hell you’re doing??” gaze full of viperous bewilderment. Ah, really, what a fool he was for wishing you could just touch him at least for a mere second. He fell into his imagination where it’s him who is on your profile pic with you, dancing in the meadow. 

No, no, that was a fascinating dream he longed for, and he should return to the real world where you were questioning his behavior and whispering to Jamil if everything was okay. 

It definitely wasn’t, given Kalim felt like a fool and somehow liked the feeling. That lingering, surprisingly gentle sensation overlapping his other thoughts and leaving a room for your smile only.

“Have a safe trip,” Jamil waved to you two as you took off and genuinely wished Kalim’s heartbeat would survive such a tough test.

He spent all night imagining how phantasmagoria of different emotions would fill him up, almost breaking, but he found himself absolutely light and a little bit giddy instead. Colorful fireworks exploding in his chest whenever you switched your gaze from the evening scenery intermingling with the warm shades of a gentle sunset embracing the city to him, smiling to you as if he was under some sort of sorcery. 

Sevens, he just wanted to give a certain name to the feelings blossoming in his heart, making him all cheerful, his emotions flamboyant and light. 

If it wasn’t a disease, then what exactly?..

“You’ve got an ice cream on your face,” you chuckled, drawing your hand to his chin and pressing a finger on his warm skin. “Here.”

Oh. Oh Sevens.

Why were his cheeks so pink? Fool, how foolish! Kalim laughed, causing you to blink in an incomprehension. 

He got this. Such a bright tender feeling, as if sunrays embracing him every time you looked straing into his ruby eyes. He finally realized what it was called!

“Oh, how foolish of me, hehe!”

It was such a dream, having you beside him when a lovely captivating sunset was unfolding underneath, and a gentle evening breeze caressing your features, making you even more charming than you already were.

But you’re strange too. You kept smiling when you looked at him.

Just like him, fool in love.

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[cerealmonster15]

Now I'm very curious about this Ruggie 2nd Years Rizz...

oh shit now i gotta back up what i said LOL omg lemme think um um ok here are scenes off the top of my head that TO ME are certified ruggie moments w/the second years and also me talking about their vibes,,,

that one vignette story [i think ruggies ceremony robes] where hes helping out at mostro lounge and he and azul have a hive mind moment where theyre bonding over their money grubbing ways, and jamil is also there and says something like 🧍 hmm wow you two are unnverving when you are together actually. and theyre both like "yeah normally i cant stand his fake ass but we can unite over money ♥" what the hell ever common gay goals i guess 😒kljksldfjdskljf they could come up with SO many money schemes together,, a slowburn via ruggie doing odd jobs at mostro lounge... it could happen ejlekjwrlkdjfsf

actually kalim has a flavor of rizz too but in his case it's like "everyone is my best friend and i cannot be deterred even tho it's kind of off putting in hater school but also it's kind of cute" while ruggie is that "lovable scamp who is kind of a bitch and definitely scheming behind your back" vibe LOL and theyre so funny together. i think kalims lab coat story is the one that comes to mind for them where kalims like OH FUCK i have to cancel the party bc jamil said so and cant help sorry everyone :( and ruggies like NO i will NOT forgive you we HAVE to throw the party. with food. and then they go make food together in the cafeteria and it's cute. i think thats also the one where ruggie was like lol teeehee what if we got this outrageously expensive mushroom for the party haha teehee- and then sam was like yeah i have it in stock and kalim was like yeah ok sure ill buy it. and ruggie was like WAIT FOR REAL??? they are just always a silly combo when theyre together fdlskjfskl like prince and the pauper or whatever... ruggie is doin whatever it takes for a free meal or a quick dollar and kalims like "i am sweating cash money and i love my friends ill buy you whatever you want :)" ruggie has the street smarts to keep kalim alive and kalim can keep ruggie fed lol. ruggie would have his hands full forever but i believe in them LOL. but also ruggie calls silver and kalim the "ira fuwa" "facepalm brigade" and how theyre so frustratingly like. nice and/or oblivious and i think that's FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY i like when ships are FUNNYYY so to me. thats more points fklsdjfkls

ruggie and jamil. they are so funny. i already liked them as 🤝 fellow working class boys [similar to why i LOVE ruggie and epels bond but sorry epel youre banished to the first year realm this post aint about u] i lied when i said off the top of my head, bc i had to double check this one but in JAMILS R card regular uniform story it's jamil ruggie kalim and leona at lunch, jamil and ruggie have like a 2 second bonding moment of basically being the attendant of the other two. once again ruggie likes food and jamil really likes to cook so i do feel theres promise there. but then also when GLOMAS halloween event dropped, that was more proof. that one scene where theyre paired off running together and manipulate those npcs to buy themselves more time,,, w/their schemes and lies and similar style unique magic/signature spells.... sjdklfjdskf they could be such an awful little duo together and i love that for them. truly an iconic moment of partners in crime

RUGGIE AND RIDDLE!!! this is one i initially was like "huh where is this coming from" back in ye olden days of twst bc i'd randomly run into this one person who kept making fanart of them and every time it would end up being by the same person lolol. and back then i think they hadnt interacted too much outside of that one scene in book 2 where ruggie steals riddles magic pen [teehee enemies 2 lovers potential,,, tried to push riddle down the stairs/got his best friend instead... also could apply a lil with jamil considering jamil was also one of his victims] anyway i like their opposite energies, kinda like a lite version of floyd/riddle with ruggie taking the role of one being more loose and, again like w/kalim, hes more street smart. riddle was sheltered all his life. i think theres potential to balance each other out. AND THEN ALSO later we got halloween 2 event where riddle ruggie and ortho were in a group together searching for mirror shards. i thought it was cute when they bonded doing a lil puzzle and all talked about doing an escape room together. I saw cute fanart of that once and it hasnt left my mind

ALSO speaking of riddle but also kalim and silver theres the beloved anthology comic which counts in my mind. the one where silver was struggling to stay awake and asks ruggie for his notes and then kalim is like LETS HAVE A STUDY PARTY ILL ASK JAMIL TO HELP!!!! and ruggies like YEAH FREE FOOD also we should invite riddle.

look at that. like ruggie even openly admits later hes literally just there for the feast but he made a point to be like We Need Riddle Here Also and i literally cant stop thinking about it actually. like sure hes right in terms of studying but like did he even give a shit about that part. also since im here and i need to talk more silver/ruggie theres also the part of this same comic where silver touches ruggies ears and he immediately falls asleep

like wtf thats so cute [source btw...] [i cant remember if they had any rule on reposting screenshots but i didnt see any when i was glancing around so i hope i am not killed for this!!!!]

once again ruggie has the street smarts that can assist silver who grew up in the woods with his only other socialization boy his age for years being Sebek Zigvolt jklJFDKLSJKFLS blease teach him what regular(?) boys behave like. and then back again like what i said in kalim's part, where ruggie called them in one of those laundry stories [i cant fuckin remember which vignette it is bc at least 2-3 of them are about laundry and i MIX THEM UP] but i think it's one where ruggie goes with leona to diasomnia and are like "hey bitches malleus' robes got mixed up with leonas" and silver is there and silvers like "oh my god malleus made a friend" and leonas like "i literally do not like that man what the hell" and ruggies like "sorry leona silvers just like that. so is kalim btw." like im obsessed with the concept of silver and kalim being So Sweet And Oblivious that apparently the other second years are all looking at them like a unit and being like "man what is their problem" thank you ruggie for this lore. for my life.

ruggie n the twins r also funny. like what i said with azul i could see him having a slowburn when hes working at mostro lounge lol and i could see it as a haters to lovers thing bc everyone in this place is a BITCH but we love that for them. i think ruggie would be fighting for his life with floyd but tbh who wouldnt be. actually idr much of their interactions except i think they were both in portfest on team performer and even then i cant recall specific interactions fjklfjeklwjflew bc floyd was like fuck this im already good at shit you bitches are on your own LOL but also i remember floyds whole thing bein he can just pick up whatever skill as needed whenever it suits his fancy and he learns real fast. i think ruggie could #respect the grind except i dont think floyd gives a shit about doing it for money. redirects to azul and his schemes JFKLDJSKLFJSD still. i think they could be funny plotting scheming bitches together if they wanted. i think this is my weak spot i cant remember many specifics BOYS WHERE ARE YOU!!! but also theyre the 2 odd ones out in terms of second years w/o an onscreen classmate. thats one point in their box LOL. i think floyd would join ruggie in a little snooping and stealing of snacks. for funsies.

okay and then jade the reason i even brought it up in the tags of this post lololol even they i think havent interacted too much that i can remember <- suddenly remembering book 3 was all about bananaclaw helping destroy octavinelle. except i think ruggie was barely there actually and the twins were mostly in the water so this still tracks. i think. well anyway that's not the point MY POINT IS RUGGIE AND JADE in ruggies R card uniform story is funny. i love that ruggie was in the cafeteria in the middle of the night looting for snacks and then jade just. Was Also There. hello fellow student i am very normal and taking a walk at night <- i actually did this in college all the time so idk why im bullying him but. dont fancy boarding high schools have CURFEWS actually idk. anyway. i love how quick and crafty ruggie is the second he realizes hes FUCKED UP and jade might KILL HIM [and then jade just. god i literally never know when hes being coy or genuinely like 🧍what do u mean i am a regular teenager why ever would anyone fear me.] anyway they kinda matched each others freak A LITTLE a little bit. jade is a bigger freak but i like that ruggie sorta has that octavinelle schemer vibe to him sdkjfklsd "hey you ate my vegetables" "oh FUCK well ill trade u with recipes" "wow these r awesome teach me more" "NO that will cost you >:)" "ohoho i see how it is >:)" like ruggie feared for his life for a second but as soon as he did what he promised he was like alright fuck u im outta here teehee. fears deleted. bastard mode returned. a scheming silly little guy who is good with cooking fits right into the little octavinelle pocket

ok that's enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually think about the second years a lot more than i care to admit LOL they are really fun to mix and match but tbh i say that about every group of students. divorce vortex third year toxic yaoi polycule.... second years are all shoved in a barrel that im shaking back and forth at top speed.... the first years are always trying to kill each other but are also kinda ride or die,,, ough it's cute i love sorting characters into groups and drawing connected lines to them jKLFJDSKLFJ ok i have to go draw overblot yaoi now. thats not related to ruggie but it's related to second years. bye!!!

[britishassistant]

People Die When They Are Killed (So Let’s Keep You Breathing)

“Kalim!” His footsteps pound as he races through the hallways of the school, breath coming in harsh pants. “Kalim!!”

Not here. He’s not at the front desk, not in the classroom, not in the Light Music Club room, so where—?!

Jamil’s eye catches the full moon rising outside the window.

He grimaces and throws open the next door.

He’s got to find him. The punishment for returning to the Asim compound without Kalim doesn’t bear thinking about. And that’s even if his stupid master has just done something totally innocuous in the name of having a “proper Japanese high school experience”, like go over to one of his many, many friends’ places for a “jam session”.

On the night of the start of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

The back of Jamil’s hand itches.

He grits his teeth. It’s a rash, just a rash, nothing more. He’s Kalim’s aide, a servant, maybe one with the potential for magecraft, but nothing compared to the Asim heir, one of the seven participants in this new Grail War.

He’s the one to do the dirty work, take care of the practicalities of technology and slit throats in back alleys. If they ever thought differently…

Why did he humor Floyd’s mood in basketball club this evening?! If he hadn’t, he and Kalim would be safe in the compound, preparing for the summoning. Instead he’s running through a dark school, searching for—!

“Jamil?”

He whips around on his heel to see Kalim emerge from a storage closet.

“Ah! Jamil!” The stupid, asinine, self-absorbed, obsequious, pusillanimous blockhead cheers as he waves. “Did’ja come here looking for me? Sorry I’m so late! Lilia asked me and Cater to put all the stuff back after club this evening, but Cater had a date to get to, so I told him to go ahead so I’d do it! But then the guitar amp got jammed, and it scraped the wall, so I was looking for some paint to—”

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you?!” Jamil hisses, marching over. “We need to get back to the compound right now!”

“Huh? Why?” Kalim tilts his head to the side.

Jamil fights the urge to pull his hood over his face and scream.

“It is,” The very edges of his tone are teetering with enforced politeness. “The first night of the Holy Grail War. The one that you are summoning a servant for, and participating in. It’s not safe to be outside right now.”

Kalim frowns even as Jamil begins frogmarching him away from the closet and towards the stairs, bucket of paint still in hand. “Well, yeah, but Uncle said that they wanna wait until like, really late to try it, right? And it’s just the first night, everyone else will still be summoning themselves.”

It takes everything Jamil has not to facepalm.

“Except,” He grits out. “There are certain times that are more ideal for summoning certain servants. You’re aiming for Caster at 2AM, but some servants will be summoned later than that, and most will be summoned earlier. And it’ll be a win for the master of the Shroud family or the Kingscholar family if they manage to take their opponents out right away rather than wait until everyone’s summoned and ready. Honestly, do you pay any atten—?”

He doesn’t even see anything coming.

One moment, he’s pulling Kalim along, intent on getting back to the Asim compound—

The next, he’s hitting the ground, instinctually throwing his master under him as the windows next to them explode.

It almost sounds like the very wind itself is trying to kill them, the whines and shrieks of gusts as wave upon wave upon wave of arrows pierce the walls and doors on the other side of the corridor.

Kalim is screaming, crying, and it’s all Jamil can do to try and push him to crawl towards the stairwell.

It’s a servant, he thinks as he tries to ignore the way his heart is pounding, the terror trying to get him to lose focus. The servant of a rival master, taking the opportunity presented to murder the heir to the Asim and any witnesses. Probably Archer, if the arrows are any indication, though Caster or Berserker aren’t totally out of the realm of possibility—

Kalim shrieks again as the windows on the floor below are shattered, the brightly colored fletches quivering where they’ve embedded themselves in the floor.

Right. Enemy servant. They need to either get out of the building (bad idea, open space with nowhere to hide from the threat, death sentence) or else find somewhere to hide and call for help.

Somewhere the servant can’t easily pick them off from the outside—!

“The coach’s office,” He gasps, “Behind the locker rooms, go Kalim, go!!”

Kalim’s eyes are wet and scared, but at least he responds to Jamil’s order, nodding and darting down the stairs as fast as he can, running bent double with Jamil hot on his heels.

The locker rooms are on the ground floor, right by the stairs. While they had thin slits of windows near the ceiling, to provide some natural light for the occupants, Coach Vargas’ office, piled high with dusty paperwork and sparkling trophies, does not have the same luxury. Small, contained, with no easy access from the exterior—it’s the only truly secure room in the building that they can easily reach.

Kalim raced through the door and Jamil pushes it shut behind them, frantically straining to drag the coach’s desk in front of it and fumbling around in the dark to find the fire extinguisher and loop it’s cord around the handle, just to be sure.

There’s a moment where he and Kalim are panting in the dark, ears straining to hear anything.

A distant crash.

His phone is in his hand before he even knows what he’s doing, jabbing in the number for Jakuzure-san, the senior steward of the Asim compound in this country.

“Viper-san?” Comes Jakuzure-san’s indistinct, shaky voice. “Where are you and Kalim-sama? The masters expected you both back—”

“We’re at Night Raven College.” Jamil says, barely able to keep the panic out of his tone. “Kalim and I, we were—there’s a servant outside. They’re using arrows, they’re trying to kill us, I, I don’t know if the master is nearby or not. We’re in the coach’s office, hiding for now, but it won’t last long. We need help, backup, now.”

“A-ah! Right!” Jakuzure-san’s voice gets even more tremulous, if possible. “I shall inform the masters, and they shall have our contingent of mages—!”

“Jakuzure? Who’s that?” Are the muffled words that Jamil can barely make out.

“Namir-sama! It is Kalim-sama’s aide, Viper-san. They are trapped at Night Raven College by a rival servant!” Jakuzure-san wails.

“What?!” Jamil can hear Namir Al-Asim’s voice much more clearly as he raises his voice and gets closer. “That little fool is…wait. Stop. Don’t you dare—! Give me that you doddering old fool—!”

“But Na—!”

There’s nothing but a dial tone.

Jamil stares at the phone in disbelief. He hits redial, and again, and again, and again—!

“Ja-Jamil?” He looks up to see Kalim’s quivering form in the corner, barely able to make out his features in the dark. “Th-they’re coming, right? W-when are they getting here?”

He wants to tell the truth for once, just once. No one’s coming, Kalim. They’ve left us for dead, so that Jawad or Namir can take your place as heir. We’re going to die. We’re both going to die here, in Coach Vargas’ office, and it is all. Your. Fault.

His throat tightens.

“They’re held up. Some other master is trying to get into the compound.” He lies. “We. We need to get ourselves out of this.”

The distant crashes are getting closer.

“Oi~~! Young masters~~! Come out, come out wherever you are~!” The voice calling out is light, boyish, like it could be one of their underclassmen. “It’s seriously lame for super powerful mages like you to go playing hide and seek like little kids! Won’t you come give me a challenge~?”

Kalim’s whimper is like a gunshot. Honestly, does he want this servant to catch—!

Wait.

“Kalim,” Jamil’s whisper feels too loud, far too loud, but this may be the only way they survive this. “Do you remember how to draw the summoning seal?”

“What?” It takes a moment, but he sees the metaphorical lightbulb go off. “Oh! Oh, so if we summon my servant in here, we can deal with the guy outside and go save everyone at the compound!”

“Yeah,” And, Jamil adds in his head, if you have a summoned servant already, then Namir’s plans to usurp Kalim’s place as the Asim representative and heir will come to a screeching halt. “You didn’t drop that can of paint?”

“Nope!” There’s a sloshing sound. “Ah! I think I spilled some.”

It’s hard, trying to ensure the lines and characters are correct when daubing white paint onto the carpet with their fingers by the dim light of Jamil’s phone screen.

Kalim shifts as Jamil places the finishing touches. “Wh-what about the catalyst? It’s back at the compound.”

“We’ll have to do without.” Jamil replies brusquely. “It’ll be harder, but not impossible. Just means we won’t know which servant will come.”

He hears Kalim’s intake of breath as he prepares to ask another question.

The next crash is right outside the office.

“Huh,” The servant’s voice is bright, slightly exasperated. “Are you hiding around here, little princelings? I’ve torn most of the building to shreds, so this is the last place left to look~! Jeez, you brats really love to make a guy work for it, ya know?”

Jamil tries to stifle the terror in his gut as he finishes the last sigil. “There! Kalim, do it now!”

“R-right!” Kalim’s whisper is filled with resolve.

He rubs his hands together, and Jamil feels the small room begin to fill with the cool feeling of Kalim’s magic, like standing by one of the canals or in the spray of a fountain on a scorching day. The incantation rises and falls, like steps to a song almost forgotten.

There’s a muffled thump.

Nothing happens.

“Kalim?” He whispers. “What—?”

Three arrows pierce through the thick, reinforced wood of the fire door to Coach Vargas’ office with sharp, staccato thuds.

“Found you~” The servant sing-songs.

“Kalim,” Jamil starts, volume rising with the number of arrows destroying the door. “Any day now would be great!”

“I-I can’t!”

“What do you mean, you can’t?!” Jamil snaps, stress making his voice crack. “Either you do this Kalim, or we die!”

“I’m trying, I am, but I, I, just—!” And there’s the wobble in his voice that Jamil has hated ever since they were kids, the one always heralded a crying fit, that lead to his parents taking him aside and saying be nice and let Kalim do better than you this time, you need to let him win, he is an Asim after all. “I can’t, Jamil!”

The noise that emerges from his throat is inarticulate and nearly bestial with frustration.

“Get out of the way then!”

“Wha-Jamil!!”

It may be fine for Kalim, who can mess up and mess up and mess up and still be fine because he’s the heir of the Asim, doted on and praised and adored.

But Jamil is a Viper, is the one who always has to clean up these messes, who has to cover for these mistakes, and he has never ever had the luxury of being anything less than perfectly vigilant. Not when it was the life of his master and his own head on the line.

Please, he thinks as he opens the magic circuits he’s avoided using, that he’s been taught to pretend aren’t there, as he recites the incantation he’s not meant to know, somebody, anybody, come here and help me fix this. Don’t let me and my stupid master die like this!

He pushes—!

It burns, like sand scraping the nerves of his arms raw.

There’s a blast of bright light that fills the tiny office and whites out his vision.

The first thing he feels is the cool night breeze on his face.

The next is Kalim, quivering behind him. His hands are fisted tight in his hoodie.

When he finally blinks his eyes open, he finds his master unharmed, if ruining his favorite hoodie with the white paint coating his fingers. Instead Kalim seems to be staring at something…behind…him…

Jamil Viper turns to look.

The figure standing silhouetted in the moonlight is a monstrous one.

Towering horns protruding from its head, its eyes bulging and yellow, the stark white of its face contorted into a fearsome grimace which bare the tusks erupting from its maw. It looks like it walked out of the museums Kalim dragged him to when they first came to this country, thick leather and tarnished steel buckled over flowing, bloodstained silks. It clutches a polearm, the long, thin blade at the top gleaming viciously under the moon.

Behind the figure stands a grotesque beast that can neither be cat nor weasel for all that its features bear some resemblance to those animals. It’s head is maned with what could be an octopus’ tentacles, and its tail and hindquarters are scaled, with a hood cobra head swaying at the end of its tail, tasting the air. The grasping hands which serve as its forepaws clench and uncurl, the black skin of them cracking as the main head swings around to take them in, phosphoric blue flames leaking from its eyes, it’s ears, seeping out from between its bared teeth.

Jamil stares, mouth dry. There’s a throbbing in his right hand.

“I ask of you,” You say. “Which of you is my master?”

The boy with short white hair lets out a whimper and shifts closer to the one with long dark hair. “Ja-Jamil…!”

That one hasn’t stopped staring at you with a mixture of shock and awe since you materialized. Maybe not the most conventional summoning, especially since you can’t really feel much mana flow from him to you, but hey, you’re here, aren’t you?

In a physical body and breathing again since you died, what? Two hundred, three hundred years ago?

You shift your mask to the side of your head to get a better look at the boy you’ll be calling Master for the rest of this Grail War.

Hm. Skinny, but not underweight, some muscle on him from the way he’s crouched in front of his friend (who, white-haired, better fed, less muscular, better quality clothing, adorned with jewels, hiding—silver spoon heir or you’ll eat your mask). Wary line of the mouth, so not some idealistic brat you’ll have to babysit and cater to the whims of. Maybe a bit untrained in the magic department, but there’s potential there, you can feel it. Lovely hair, silky and well cared for, worn long as a samurai’s should be.

And your command seals on the back of his hand.

Not bad. No, not bad at all.

You kneel before the boy—this “Jamil”— and bow your head respectfully before your liege lord. Behind you, you can feel Grim mimic you, as best he’s able.

“Well met, Master. I am servant Rider. I and my allies will be in your care from now on.”

Your Master swallows, licks his lips. Is he nervous?

That’s kind of cute.

Which is, naturally, when you hear a bow being loosed.

Your naginata snaps out, slicing the arrows in half before they can touch your new master.

“Excuse me,” You lift your hannya mask back over your face, turning to confront the interloper. “We are trying to have a civil conversation here.”

The red-headed Archer gasps. “Oh no! I’m so sorry mister, I’ll just put killing you on hold…not. You’re in the Grail War now, newbie! Ya snooze, ya lose.”

“What was that, ya punk?!” Grim snarls, tail lashing and hissing. “Minion! This guy is challenging the authority of the Great Grim Sama! The strongest yōkai and the finest hero who ever lived!”

“And I’ve never heard of you!” The Archer says cheerfully.

Grim lets out an inarticulate shriek of rage.

You sigh as you study the Archer.

That garb…definitely old Europe, pre-1600s at the very least. Noble bearing, but someone who’s got used to roughing it. Plus that red hair and those arrows that strike as fast and true as the wind…

“You know, I always thought you’d be a bit nicer.” You say conversationally, “With the whole tragically dispossessed noble, steal from the rich and corrupt shit. Right, Ace Trappola?”

Ace Trappola, servant Archer, actually begins choking on his own spit.

You guess this is why people say never meet your heroes.

“Wh-how the hell does some freaky-ass masked weirdo know who I am?!” He demands.

“I was born in 1853,” You deadpan. “Even we’d heard of legends like you by then.”

The guy actually scuffs the floor with his boot, lets out a borderline embarrassed laugh as he scruffs a hand through his hair. “W-well, of course you have! You’d hafta be from some backwater to not have heard of—!”

Your naginata swipes across where his throat would have been had he not sprung backwards.

“Yes.” Your sweet smile under the mask is apparent in your voice. “I also heard how you unfortunately died to some monk bleeding you like a stuck pig. I may not have the same level of finesse as he did, but please forgive me if I get too rough, okay?”

Ace Trappola lands in the center of some kind of dusty field, teeth bared in a fierce grin. “That wasn’t cute at all, you know! Ah man, just my luck that I’d be stuck educating a crazy upstart of a junior.”

“First lesson,” The arrow in his bow quivers, appears to split into hundreds and thousands of itself even before being loosed. “Don’t get so cocky, brat.”

The arrow screams as it is fired, blotting out the moon and the stars with how many of them are covering the night sky and converging on you and your master.

“Grim!” You bark.

“On it, fgnah!”

Grim inhales to the point where he’s swollen to almost twice his usual size, the flames around his head sputtering and almost going out.

When he exhales, the night is lit with a torrent of his blue fire.

You knock away a few errant arrows from your master and his friend that managed to escape being melted in the inferno.

“W-wait!” The friend cries. “You, you can’t fight him!”

You blink at the inherent ridiculousness of this statement. “Yes I can. That’s what we’re doing right now. Fighting him.”

“N-no! I mean,” The friend wrings his hands, flaking white stuff. Is that…is that paint? “I mean we don’t have time for you to fight him! There’s, there’s a master attacking the compound, we gotta get there and help them out right away! Right, Jamil?”

Your master says nothing, still staring at you.

“Jamil?!”

“Huh? Oh, ah,” He coughs, suddenly looking anywhere but you. “Yes, Rider, it. It would be best if we made a strategic retreat for now. We need to return to the Asim compound, as we don’t know what Archer’s master is planning.”

You could take him. You and Grim could make mincemeat of Ace Trappola, given enough time and property damage. But if your master says otherwise…

“Alright.” You nudge Grim’s flank. “If that is what my master desires, your wish is my command. Would you be able to direct me and Grim if you rode in front?”

Your master and his friend nod.

“Heh! Be grateful, humans!” Grim boasts as he kneels down and you hoist yourself onto his back. “Thanks to my minion’s begging, I, the Great Grim Sama, shall allow you to ride me!”

The friend scrambles up with all the eagerness of a child mounting their first pony. Your master looks a little more wary as he approaches and grips Grim’s fur to get a good handhold to swing himself up and over.

“Don’t worry,” He stiffens up as you murmur to him. “I won’t let you fall.”

Oh, you think as he clutches at his ear and twists around to stare at you, wide-eyed. You like this one.

“Running away so soon?” Ace Trappola jeers, nocking another one of those multiplying arrows. “As if I’d let you!”

You lean over your master as Grim begins to run, your body weight pressing him and his friend down below the protective mantle of Grim’s manes. You’re not exactly eager to find out what those arrows will do to you if they lodge into you, but better you get turned into a pincushion than your master.

And if this Archer thinks that wielding your naginata one-handed will make you any less precise, then he’s about to pay dearly for it.

You see his arm prepare to let the arrow(s) fly—!

Something large and black comes hurtling through the air and hits Ace Trappola in the face.

You stare as Archer topples over under the weight of…

“Is. Is that a pot?” Your master asks, squinting.

“It’s a cauldron. I think.” You tilt your head.

“Nyaha! Nice one, minion!” Grim cheers, “That’s what you get for messing with the Mighty Yōkai Grim!”

“But that wasn’t—”

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Ace Trappola screeches, flailing under the huge mass of cast iron. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! DID YOU SERIOUSLY THROW A FUCKING CAULDRON AT ME?!”

“It’s dishonorable to attack an enemy’s back.” A serious voice calls. “As heroes, we should obey the laws of chivalry when engaging in our battles.”

The servant who has entered the field is the very picture of a knight in shining armor at first glance. His plate and chainmail gleam under the moonlight, his spear polished to an unearthly sheen.

But his face is decorated with a blue warpaint that makes you suspect his legend is much older and less clean-cut than he initially appears.

“Oh yeah, and it’s real fucking CHIVALROUS to throw COOKWARE at someone fighting a battle that YOU AREN’T INVOLVED IN, DUMBASS!!” Ace Trappola finally unearths himself, looking worse for wear. “What, did your mom drop you on your head ten times over or something?!”

The new servant’s expression darkens.

His posture shifts until he resembles a rowdy brigand more than a noble warrior, the new shadows blotting out some of the gleam from his armor, making it appear rougher and used.

“Hah?!” The blue warpaint turns his face into a mask almost as terrifying as your own. “Ya got somethin’ t’ say about ma lady mother you snot-nosed little fuck?!”

And there it is.

“A lady?” Ace Trappola smirks, bow now aimed at a new target. “That wasn’t what she sounded like last night~”

Wow. You didn’t know someone could turn that color from rage.

The servant—probably a Lancer—launches himself towards the Archer with a war cry.

“As fascinating as this is,” Your master mutters in front of you. “Maybe we should use this opportunity to make our escape?”

“Seems like it could be fun to watch,” You gently nudge Grim’s flanks. “But that probably would be best. Now, we’ll just make our escape qui—”

“FGNAH! SO LONG, SUCKERS!” Grim proclaims at the top of his lungs, heedless of your and your master’s attempts to get him to shut the fuck up. “YOU MAY LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY THIS TIME, BUT THE GREAT GRIM SAMA WILL RETURN TO CONSUME YOUR MEASLY SOULS!!”

With a single bound, Grim leaps from the ground to the roof of the ruined building your master was taking shelter in. He takes a running start, and vaults over the flimsy fence at the top into the air.

Your master and his friend scream.

You grin.

The flames that form beneath Grim’s legs aren’t like wings, you don’t think they serve any practical purpose to help him fly. But it makes for an astonishing sight nonetheless—looking down and seeing blue fire between you and the sprawling city below.

“Fl-flying!” Your master’s friend gasps. “We’re—we’re actually flying!! Look, look Jamil! It’s like we’re on a magic carpet, for real!! We’re flying!!”

“Kalim, be careful!” Your master scolds as he yanks him back from where he was leaning over the side to get a better look. “You are not going to break your neck after everything we’ve gone through to get out of this!”

“It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Grim rumbles beneath you dismissively. “Even if he fell, the Great Grim Sama would catch him, ya know?”

“That’s not the point,” Your master groans.

There’s a faint crash behind you.

You twist around to see Ace Trappola pull himself out of the roof of the ruined building and begin yelling at the Lancer back on the ground.

Did. Did that Lancer try to stop you all from escaping. By throwing another servant?? At you???

You shift back around. “What kind of troublesome war have you gone and got us involved in, Master?”

Your master groans, burying his face in his hand. “Don’t blame me for his incompetence.”

You can’t help the huff of laughter that escapes you with that sentiment. How many times in life have you thought the same thing?

You think this is the start of a beautiful partnership.

[twistedroseytoesy]

Dumb ways to die twst edition

Exactly as the title says. A parody based off of the many many shenanigans the twst gang goes through. Not exactly deaths for many of them but it’s still fun.

Wrote this for myself to take a small break from asks hopefully that's ok with y'all. also needed to hop on the inspiration while it lasted. you all know the song.

Warning: there is some book 6 spoilers!! no book 7 stuff though. Also mentions of death and some body horror.

Grim flinging fire at the ceremony: set fire to the place mc in ramshackle: avoid death from a ghostly embrace Ace moments before disaster: eat a tart and you got seen Riddle's overblot incident: Get collared and fight an overbloted queen!

Grim on fire: Dumb ways to die Ghost mc: So many dumb ways to die Ace holding his decapitated head: Dumb ways to die-ie-ie Deuce with blot spears through his front: So many dumb ways to die

The group chasing after Ruggie: Get involved in a hyenas work Leona sending his goons to fight the group: mess with a prideful jerk Leona’s overblot incident : almost get turned into sand Mc facepalming at the trio with anemones on their heads: don't shake that shady octo mers hand!

Riddle in a full body cast: Dumb ways to die Jack covered in cuts and bruises: So many dumb ways to die Ruggie as a pile of sand: Dumb ways to die-ie-ie Ace covered in bite marks: So many dumb ways to die

Azuls overblot incident: fight an octomer and drown Mc behind a barred window: get locked up in a desert town The octatrio+mc and kalim flying to the edge of the desert: Get flung away to another place Jamils overblot incident: fight a snake guy with a crazy face

Deuce looking anemone creature: Dumb ways to die Skeleton mc: So many dumb ways to die Kalim frozen and blue: Dumb ways to die-ie-ie Azul with hypnotized eyes: So many dumb ways to die

Ace and deuce on the ground paralyzed: get poisoned in the night Dancing practice for the SDC: dance with all of your might Vil’s overblot incident: fight some blot ful of jealous rage Ortho causing chaos on the island: be careful with the phantoms in that cage!

Zombie looking epel: Dumb ways to die Jamil exhausted: So many dumb ways to die Rook half dissolved: Dumb ways to die-ie-ie Old withered vil: So many dumb ways to die

Bean blaster pointed right at the camera: fight eachother for a harp during bean fest. Ghosts going after the students collecting mirror shards: get chased down and captured by a ghostly guest Magicam monsters causing chaos: deal with people messing up your horror Vargas chasing down the students: get chased by a beast when you're out camping The guys getting slapped by Eliza: flirt with a ghost and try to woo her

Mc shaking their head as they stand next to a mirror with Mickey in it: They may not make sense but they're quite possibly Azul covered in gullet holes: Dumbest ways to die Possessed students: the dumbest ways to die magic cam monster wrapped up in mummy stuff: Dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie~ The first years: So many dumb Mc and grim pointing at Crowley: So many dumb ways to die