#aromantic and asexual people are valid

[nothing-an-iratze-cant-fix]

I’m curious - people always seem surprised that multiple siblings are queer, as if it’s amazing the gay lightning struck twice so close together.

But human variation is down to our genes and external factors. Siblings are logically more likely to both/all be queer than not.

So a wee poll if you don’t mind!

Anyone can take part, there should be an option for anyone but please let me know in notes if I missed anyone.

For reference: queer is anyone who wouldn’t describe themselves as heterosexual or cis-gendered or allo-sexual. Anyone we would include in the queer group. And if you’re not including people by their own identification, we can have words after…

Notes:

If you only have one sibling use the relevant all option.

If you have an issue with the word queer I truly don’t want to hear about it - that’s your choice, this is mine.

Reblog if you fancy! If you don’t then no worries, but if you can it would be nice to get a lot of replies!

And hey everyone, happy Pride!

[yagikidd57]

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

[aroacewolfic]

I hate it when people's first reaction to me saying I'm aroace is "oh but don't you wanna have a partner and kids in the future, won't you be sad without that" Like no bitch I'm gonna be happy living alone in the peace and quiet with my cats and dogs and 1000 books to keep me company and I'm gonna be just as happy and complete as every other person out there if not happier.

[shmaroace]

i don’t need anyone’s permission to exist!!

[softandwigglybones]

This one is for all the aspecs who didn't feel like there's something wrong with them. To all those too oblivious or too indomitable to feel alienated. You're still awesome and you're still valid

[meaningless-mayhem]

Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"

But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.

One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo

[scaley-moth-wings]

Asexual Pride

Aromantic pride

Aroace pride

Aro/ace umbrella pride!!

Honorable mentions:

Cupiosexual/romantic

Demisexual/romantic

Aegosexual/romantic

Acespike

Arospike

Aroace lesbians/pans/bi’s/gays

Feel free to rb with more honorable mentions!!

Everyone is loved here <3

[redysetdare]

Oh so when repulsed ppl or non-partnering ppl bring up their experiences it's suddenly "not all aros/aces! Don't generalize the community!" But a choir of assholes crying out "Aros and aces can still date!" In response to ppl pointing out the erasure of those who don't is not generalizing and totally fine? Yeah, uh huh ok.

[biscuitpenguin]

"you're aroace? how do you survive?" well I'll tell you how I survive susan I adore my friends with every fibre of my being. I would take a bullet for them I wouldn't even think twice. you can take your traditional marriage values and stuff them where the sun doesn't shine because me and my favourite human in this hell-forsaken universe have been talking for seven hours and we're seeing how many grapes we can fit in our mouths and that's better than romance actually. do you even know how much I love them

[mybrainsrottingwithmcd]

Since theres been a concerning amount of acephobia and arophobia on tumblr I’ve drawn my fave aroace hc Aphmau holding a few of the many many aspec pride flags :)

All aspec people are just as queer and as valid as anyone else in this community and hold an important place.

Get over it :)

(i made some of the flags a lil lighter cuz the colours were making my eyes hurt)

[somelonelywordmonger]

Why did I have to choose identities that require explanations only to be ridiculed in one way or another? Asexual, Aromantic, Agender. Why do the pronouns I feel most comfortable with have to be something put under a "Ask Pronouns" category to make others more comfortable? It/Its. Why is it that the way I identify as and experience the world something that pisses off people in my own community? What the fuck do they think the A stands for or the +?

[braincloggedwithcats]

Hey . Kissing repulsion is always ok. If you're kissing repulsed you're awesome and I care you. It doesn't make you silly, it doesn't make you childish and you deserve respect. It doesn't matter why you're kissing repulsed, if you have a reason at all, how old you are or how much or little you can tolerate, you're not hurting anyone and it's ok. I'm sorry if you've been made to feel bad for it, I'm sorry if you've ever made yourself feel bad for it, I'm sorry it's so hard to avoid. You're cool and you're allowed to feel however you want about it and that should be respected. You're ok

[mirnightghost]

I've been feeling so much emotion lately about these things that I did this: Mir with the asexual flag, look at him go!!

And I made a lot of drafts of the text that I would like to write, because this is a post with my set of thoughts, so-

I recently took random quizzes and saw that the character was headcanoned as an aroace, although before that I had seen only bisexual headcanons.

Oh fuck, this made me so happy that I even wondered why..why if it’s important to me, I can’t talk about it on my damn territory. Allonormativity has been burning me out for as long as I can remember, it has led me to negative points in my life, I don’t like it.

So I have to clarify: All fandom/OC content here is asexual/aromantic (platonic, in general). I have no idea why it’s hard for me to talk about this, but I need to talk about this, because otherwise I start to hate what I do, and that’s terrible. What's the point of wasting time and effort on a piece of art that I can't even talk honestly about? End of statement.

[flora-tea]

My bloodline ends with me. I'm the grand finale 💪✨

[ijustreallylikepirates]

YALL PLEASE HELP ME OUT 😭🙏🏻

I feel like I might be aroace but idk just yet

I’ve been fantasizing about being in love since like 6th grade but now that I’m finally in a relationship and kissing and stuff I just now realize how many normal things couples do I don’t want to do

Examples: making out, spooning, kisses anywhere besides like my face or my hands, sex (im already asexual tho)

It just feels so weird and I’m not enjoying being in a relationship as much as I thought I would

I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend tho because he is so sweet and would be so heartbroken if I broke up with him because I’m like his whole world but I also want myself to be happy

What should I do?

Do you guys think I might be aroace?

Please help