#but fuck it’s so mentally draining

[insignificantfailure]

Why the fuck am I the way I am

[nessproblem]

i think the solution to my problems is to just kms

[endlessmidnights]

I hate that everywhere I go and everything I see, involves me thinking of a way to kill myself

[afterglowkatie]

i may not be good at much but i’m great at pushing people away :)

[hxhhasmysoul]

Hey so i have been seeing this sukuna hates yuji thing very often and i feel like sukuna is still indifferent to him very much as I don't see difference in his behavior even after chp 248 .

Did I miss something?

I think we see Sukuna’s attitude towards Yuuji quite differently. To me, between the two of them, the person who’s been showing indifference, has been Yuuji. 

In the beginning Yuuji had tried to establish some rapport with Sukuna. He even approached him with some dose of sense of humour right after Sukuna ripped his heart out. 

But the moment he realised Sukuna can’t be reasoned with, when Sukuna refused to help Junpei and mocked Yuuji for asking, Yuuji crossed over to cold hatred. He repeatedly doesn’t let Sukuna bait him. Not when Sukuna blames Yuuji for people’s death in chapter 63, not when Sukuna tries to get Yuuji to keep quiet when they meet Angel. Yuuji just dismisses him. Even Yuuji’s reaction to Shibuya isn’t directed at Sukuna. It’s directed inward. He hates Sukuna but in a passive way, he prioritises other things. Trying to do at least something good after Shibuya, getting Gojou out, saving Megumi. Sukuna is an obstacle, but Yuuji tries to engage with him as little as possible.

The opposite is true for Sukuna. He talks to Yuuji, he tries to actively torment Yuuji and constantly questions Yuuji and his worldview. Tries to mock Yuuji.

I personally don’t like the word hate, when it comes to Sukuna’s attitude towards Yuuji. I think Yuuji unsettles him, causes him discomfort, irks him. Yuuji’s existence and especially perseverance go against what Sukuna believes to be true. He believes that only power matters and those who can’t go toe to toe with the strong are insignificant. He deems their lives to be pointless misery. Yuuji on the other hand cherishes human life, it matters to him on a very personal level. 

And even though Yuuji seems weak to Sukuna, someone not on par with him. Still Yuuji has power over Sukuna, he might be the only one apart from maybe Kenjaku and possibly Tengen that has ever had true power over him. Anyone else he can kill and keep his independence from, but Yuuji. He needed a plan, he needed to trick Yuuji into a binding vow to get out. 

When Sukuna was inside, Yuuji unsettled and irked him. But now Sukuna is slightly drifting towards fascination. He’s been introspecting a bunch after he got out from Yuuji, he asked Yuuji directly why he keeps going. He is trying to understand, while he never does that for Yorozu, Gojou or Kashimo. The groupies don’t interest him because they represent the status quo he’s always believed in. Yuuji is its contradiction, a glitch in the system Sukuna’d lived by before they cohabited a body. Sukuna ignores everyone else who’s jumping him. The only other person who’s sparked his curiosity is Maki. Though with her it’s more of a jujutsu nerd kind of curiosity. Yuuji interests him on a far more personal level. 

Of course he’s trying to put on a dismissive front, he constantly insults and diminishes Yuuji, but he’s also constantly thinking about Yuuji. It’s kinda “the babygirl doth protest too much, methinks”.  Especially that Yuuji is still not giving a rat’s ass about Sukuna. It’s kinda like notice me at this point. Like: I can’t get you out of my head, react to my crude cries for attention.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

please reassure me please reassure me please reassure me please reassure me please reassure me please reassure me

[scissxrluvv]

~Y’all smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die.~

[a1m05t-en0ugh]

Please

[princemick-archive]

"did it feel quiete shit? yeah yeah it did" mick post Austin GP

[princess-peaches671]

that feeling of forever being trapped as a failure no matter how hard you try, can’t even see the point anymore

[im-sad-too-lol]

I hate that I have to deal with things that aren’t my fault, and heal from the traumas that I’m not the cause.

[nessproblem]

I can’t stand fighting with my own thoughts anymore, I just want to die

[endlessmidnights]

Does anyone else have no idea how to make friends or is it just me?

[alwaysneedyforsir]

is a hug too much to ask for

[deepdepressingtruth]

To be trapped between hating life, and not wanting to end mine… is a special kind of hell

[monstersandmaw]

Good news: the desire To Write is back *yaaaay, cheering*

Bad news: actually doing The Writing is still completely overwhelming *ugly sobbing*