#but they were friends with the RA so they didn't even have to hide it 🙄

[spider-jaysart]

Okay soooo fun mash up idea that I've created recently, which is DC crosses over with The last of us part 1! (But the game version though with some parts of the show included)

So it would be like this:

Joel: Bruce (for many obvious reasons, like for example being the old grumpy, cold man who grows into the Father figure role once warming up to the kid that changes a part of his life, causing him to become more of a softy)

Tommy: Dick (the one who eventually became tired of Bruce's bull and went his own ways in the future, but reconciled after reuniting with him in their next meeting)

Sarah: Kid!Jason (the innocent kid who didn't deserve to die)

Ellie: Damian (has her attitude, stubbornness, fearless determination, shameless cussing, loyalty, humorous side but in his own way, artistic side, and stabbing skills, so he fits perfectly well. It would also be interesting that him and Bruce have no idea they're related to eachother at all, so they don't bond because of known shared blood, only because of the many things they've been through together that brang them closer overtime to being like a Father and Son, and then they find out this secret about themselves much, much later after the end of their very long journey)

Riley: Maya (not a love interest like in the game and show, but just the first good friend and a trusted sister figure to Damian who knew things well)

Tess: Diana (A well trusted and respected partner for Bruce in work)

Maria: Starfire as Dick's wife

Sam: Jon (shares that innocent vibe with Sam and just like him with Ellie, he'd be quick to want to befriend Damian and see him as the cool older kid he'd like to impress)

Henry: Kon (is young just like him and is just trying his best to keep his baby bro safe the way he believes is best, since he is the only one who can now)

Marlene: Amal (Talia's only known friend in comics, so she fits as Marlene who used to be close friends with Ellie's Mom and made the promise to always watch over Ellie for her, so here she does that for Talia with Damian)

David: Joker (both a total weird, creep that can secretly hide who they truly are whenever they felt like it for their own benefits and then reveal their horrible sides and true intentions by surprise)

Bill: Lucious Fox (because he makes Bruce's gadgets and vehicles in canon and since Bill has a skill of doing just that for himself and gives Joel a new gadget and also a needed car, he is fitted enough for the role in this way)

And then for some small details and also additional things that help make the au stand out a little more differently:

Chris will be included with Jon and Kon here just to have all the Superbros together

Mar'i and Jake exist here but are really young twins (6 years old)

When things were still normal, Bruce was married to Talia here and they both were raising Kid!Jason together. They both got separated during the event of the outbreak and never found eachother again after that

Instead of 20 years of the apocalypse, it's 14 years here instead, because Talia was already pregnant with Damian when things began going wild

Damian will be immune just like Ellie (well obviously loll), but just for a little bit of play, it's cause it actually has to do with mixed Lazarus blood in his body that saved him, which comes from a small, strange part of his brain that keeps creating and pumping it out into his veins. This was naturally passed down from Ra's always over using the pits so much for years, causing the body inside to develop and grow in becoming much stronger and different in unique ways. And Lazarus pits are gone now, so Damian is like the only source that holds it in him as the possibe cure of the world

Unlike Ellie's Mom, Talia survived the birth of Damian and lived until he was 7 after saving him from an attack in a herd of infected that they were both trying to outrun. Damian stayed always feeling heavily guilty about it ever since and blames himself, even though how it happened wasn't actually his fault (still kind of debating on this one just a little bit for small reasons though)

Jon won't be 8 like Sam from the show, he will be around his canon age from the game instead. He will also be Damian's first love instead in this au and they will both have crushes on eachother

Instead of the games original cities and other places as settings, things are set in Gotham and other known DC cities Instead

Instead of a switchblade, Damian was left with a dagger from Talia, and all collected comics in his backpack from his adventure are mangas. He also carries around old special photos of Talia and him to remember and cherishes them very much, since that's all he has left of her besides her dagger

All characters wear their own versions of the tlou outfits to fit their style better instead of just using the existing ones

One of the things Damian would never want is to get killed by a bloater the most, because they actually just kill kids with only a slap instead of tearing up their jaws like the adults, so he would feel SO humiliated if it ever happened to him too (based on how this actually happens to Ellie in the game whenever she gets caught by them because she's underage loll, which makes the bloaters look like a bully to children)

Despite killing in this au having to be done against all kinds of enemies in order to survive, Bruce never feels comfortable with it, but he does what he has to. He also has sympathy for all the infected people, usually seeing them more as victims who didn't ask to become what they are now instead of just harmful, angry creatures, but knows he can't be pity them too much, cause at the end of the day it's either him or them during encounters. He also tries taking the pacifist route whenever he sees he has the chance to in a situation where confrontations aren't actually nesscarry, allowing him to flee without notice instead, and during stealth he will choke human enemies in a way that he knows will only make them pass out and not die

Annnd I think that's probably it for now!

I also have a lot of drawings from this au that I really wanna make and also put out soon heheh and I'm also working on Damian outfits that replaces all of Ellie's, which I'm almost done with!! And if anyone maybe has questions for the au btw, feel free to ask anything!

@pin-crusher2000 @camo-wolf @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 @dunkinsthings

[softpine]

when i was in college one of my friend's hid his toaster in his closet since weren't allowed to have them, so one time i was hanging out in his room w/ him & some of our other friends & he asked if we wanted some poptarts. ofc we said yes, but then we all lost our collective minds when he went to his closet without a word & just pulled out a toaster. iconic behavior.

fjksjds i feel that, you can't have poptarts without a toaster!! it's not the same!! my suitemate (we shared a bathroom but not a main room) kept a freaking waffle maker in her room so whenever room inspections happened she would hide it in the bathroom cabinet because no one ever looked there lmaoo

[satoshy12]

My wife's dad is more scary then Batman and my grandfather Ra's al Ghul

Estelle as name for Dani or Estrella 

4 Baby Talons (clones of dick Grayson)

It had already been a few months since Damian got married to his friend Ellie, and he was very happy. I'm not sure how to explain it to his family or, worse, her family, but that can wait. It happened while he was traveling with her together on vacation through the countries. And he chated and wrote her like four times a day.

While Damian hid it from his family, Dani didn't, as she first told Sam. Jazz and Maddie are working on how to tell Danny. And then Danny learned about it, and he left to meet that boy in Gotham. It had been a long time since he had been in Gotham. And the observers wanted that one person called Doctor Simon Hurt; too many souls died thanks to him.

He was joined by Skulker on this mission. Skulker was just happy to hunt something new, as he didn't try to hunt Danny anymore. The pain that Danny did to his Robot Body he felt on his real boy!

Well, Dani kind of followed Danny; she wanted to make sure he didn't turn her into a widow! She didn't even tell him about her being a meta!

There was something not many people knew about Danny that he himself never noticed, as Amity Park had known him since he was a baby. And being pretty carefree in your demeanor doesn't help. But once outside of Gotham or at Gala with Vlad, people notice it, like Lex Luthor that very short moment in the Gala.

Here in Gotham,

Danny met his son-in-law, and he found the boy interesting. Sam had told him about the child of Bruce Wayne, the playboy billionaire. But he wasn't sure why the boy was so jumpy. I mean, Skulker isn't even near them; already, with few of his duplicates had found Dr. Hurt and captured him already. And Danny others looked if that Owl group still existed since the last time he cleaned them up.

Danny is too powerful for most normal people to fear. Only with good instinct will he notice how formidable he truly is.

So poor Damian's whole body was in horror at this moment. His instinct made him able to notice it fully.

Damian twitched as he was just near Dani's Father, no matter how he tried to hide or stop it. This man made him think of his grandfather, General Zod or similiar. He wanted to draw his Sword, but he didn't have it near him.

Damian smiled at Dani as he tried to play it cool. But when you notice your father-in-law's shadow moving, HE HAS SEEN WORSE! He can do this!

And after a good dinner and talk he got the support of Danny; Ellie smiled; she wouldn't be a widow; and Damian was happy he was accepted and didn't have to fight this villain, maybe? or in the future. Damian didn't get to sigh in relief as Danny left and whispered something about collecting something.

No! Damian, doesn't care!

He wants alone time with his wife. Only to be told "he was to come with his family to Amity Park to meet the Fenton. Damian's family should meet theirs."

Dani told him they would come, and she would Call them 1 or 2 days bore that first before Damian could say anything.

+++++

As Danny was outside of Gotham, Skulker came to him with his few duplicates, holding four tiny blue-gold mixed-eyed children. "Skulker, you destroyed how they were created and so they can't do it again?" Skulker:"Yup, destroyed both Dionesium and Electrum and let few pets out to eat them, it wasn't Lazarus Pit which is needed after all and has nothing to do with us in the Zone. Also I sent copies of the Court members, very damning evidence of their crimes to many newspapers and reporters all around the US. Did you know they blackmailed a few Senators? It will be a comedy in a few days; you can tell that goth girl to tell her family." Danny nodded his head at that. " The cover-ups for this one?" Skulker:" Yes, Mr. Freeze will do it, as last thanks for helping to heal his wife." Danny:" Good, we can leave then. I am hungry."

Skulker:" Didn't you just eat?"

++++

At Amity Park, it didn't take long for Jazz to just accept the new 4 Owlet babies and raise them, she really is wanting to raise them. True, Danny had no plan for them, but that works too. And now they just have to wait for Damian to visit with his family.

++++

At Gotham, after the chaos was fixed by Mr. Freeze and the new chaos started by the news and police forces and even villains attacking the higher class… Bruce meets and learns about his son's wife, and he is told to meet her family in Amity Park. Damian warned his father, his new father-in-law, that this is very scary and not normal.

[dairy-farmer]

I call this the Highlander Au! >:Dc There can Be Only One! (Unless he REALLY enjoys the process and the world stops going to shit for like... FIVE god damned minutes!) (The second is sadly unlikely)

Tim? Fully Cis gendered male. Not terribly ATTACHED to this, physically, but certainly identifies as Male and has a male body.

Maybe it's been all the near misses. The "all my friends fuckin DIED on my and I mentally spiraled like you wouldn't believe". Could be him finally reclaiming his life. Or yet another horrible mental spiral. Who knows!

But he's decided.

He wants to be a Dad. *sound of various Bats choking and/or dropping things*

Is even seeing anybody? Nope. How the FUCK is he gonna get a baby?! Oh, normal, Bat Paranoid fashion. Cloning tube. Same way Damian happened. He just needs to figure out the maternal DNA and he's golden. Figure out where to hide his tech to stop Villainous Baby Snatching Plots.

Because that's a very real concern.

No you can't talk him out of this. Timmy want himself a baby. Is already designing a nursery and studying child development books. Parenting manuals, getting those little animal onsies, lazer death grids to ward of Ra's ninjas. The works.

Bruce is off to the side, quietly having an aneurysm and choking to death on his own spit. Baby boy? Fatherhood? OFFSPRING!? Alone and not going to LET HIM HELP!? But why would he help!? Bad idea! But. But he needs to BE THERE to TAKE CARE of TIM and the future BABY! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

It's a... "Fun" time. Dick is nearing a nervous breakdown. Bruce not far behind. Damians having Feelings(tm).

Then! At a Wayne Charity Event(tm)? Small glowing child. Looks alien. Is getting upset. People backing away IN A HURRY because they just watched this child WARP REALITY to turn the nearest table into candy.

Tim is there as the face of the family. A hero. Already feeling generally Paternal. Upset baby is Bad. So he goes in, dispite clear protests. Gets low and talks soothing.

But the alien Wants Her MOMMY!

And? Oh. Well there goes the protective amulets JLA Dark made for him. Now he's in an alien dress and? Very much no longer Cis. Guess he would have and DID inherent from his dad's side of the family, no boobs. Tiny. At least he got his mom's killer legs.

And the kiddo isn't scared any more. Since he "looks like mommy".

Except not even remotely, because she warps into being an HOUR later, looking for her daughter and is made of pure light. Thanks him. Doesn't FIX anything. And just leaves. Gee, thanks lady.

There were REPORTERS there. Tim Drake has tits now. Front page news. Great. Ra's is GOING to know and get WEIRD about it.

Tim shrugs. Off to Leslie we go, though. Check up time!

Yep. Full lady bits action. And, hey! Shiny new spleen! So that's nice.

It DOES change his plan though. He didn't, you know, collect any "samples" yet. But? Does... does he NEED too? He COULD concoct a story of "rich person hires mystic to get penis back" after going and getting magiced back.... OR?

He could have someone put a baby in him! *simultaneous Bat Choking Noises*

MUCH easier to defend. THEN he could be changed back, after the baby is weaned. The problem is who to trust? Ra's is ABSOLUTELY going to do everything in his power to get his seed inside Tim new puss. So a seed bank is out. And-

*hands slam on the table*

Obviously! We can't trust anyone outside this house! Villian plots and Ra's specifically! Bat paranoia! W-we will just have to make this sacrifice for you!

.....Weirdly intense, but okay.

Objection! Says Tim's newly no longer Dead team mates. Tim tried to CLONE Kon! OBVIOUSLY it should be Kon! And Bart! Bro Threesome! Let nature decide! (Then kid number 2 is the other Bro, is only FAIR)

ALSO a good point. He did have that promise, if one of them ever got turned into a girl. And a Kon baby WOULD be nice...

Shit! Grayson pulls "last of my legacy and I have so much to make up for" cards!

Is betrayed by his OWN FATHER (Bruce! How COULD YOU!?) Who plays "you saved me from the time steam and nearly died for me, let me help(emotional)" to devastating effect!

Cheating! Howls the Speedster! You're CHEATING!!!

And Tim stands there... kinda confused but finding he's actually Really In To This as people argue over how much THEY want to be the one to put a baby in him? He's never felt this badly WANTED. Desired.

He may not want to go through the whole "actually carrying a baby for 9 months then pushing one out" thing more then once.... but the fighting over him thing? This might be awaking something.

And, well, Kon already made a good point. Why try to control it? Let nature decide~

Everyone can help.

The argument stops dead. For all of the seconds before "who goes first?" Occurs to everyone.

Sadly for THEM, Bruce is a bastard willing to play dirty to get what he wants. And his house his rules. He goes first. After all, he no doubt smirks, none of THEM have the... experience, to handle a virgin properly.

He refuses to allow Tim hurt on his watch.

Got it? Good talk. Tim, with him.

Which is what leads to Tim clawing at the bed and begging like his life depends on it, soaked in sweat, hours later. As Bruce STILL gently, teasingly, RUTHLESSLY eats him out. Puddles worth of lube ruining the sheets and easing his way, as he works calloused fingers DEEP to find spots Tim didn't know he had yet. As they rub and tease and fuck against those spots so relentlessly it feels like Tim's coming apart.

He didn't even know he could MAKE half these noises.

His hole is so wet and sloppy, it's like it's given up. Like his body can do nothing but quiver and twitch under Bruce's hands. Given how big he is? Probably the point. Because he crawls up to loom over Tim like a giant. Presses kisses to his whimpering, sweaty face. And rocks into his exhausted body, filling every inch of him.

It doesn't even hurt. Something that big probably SHOULD for his first time, but Bruce isn't a legendary playboy for nothing. And it just fills and Fills and FILLS. Rubs against everything in a way that makes his toes curl. Makes him want to gasp and cling, even though he's so exhausted.

Bruce just shooshes him. Pulls him close. He won't have to do a thing. He can just cling to Bruce and feel good. Bruce is here. He's got you.

And it's the best thing Tim's ever felt. Forget masturbation, sex is AMAZING. Bruce rocking then thrusting then pounding into his body. Holding tight like something precious. Hammering his good spots still he sees stars. Til he's nearly sobbing, hiccuping, from how good it feels to have his insides all messed up.

Bruce fills him up. All gooey and warm. Picks him up and carries him to a clean bed to get wiped down and tucked in. Cleans up then joins him. Fills him back up and tucks him close. He feels boneless and precious. Sleeps like the dead.

Discovers sex with a puss is AWESOME.

Next morning, he's barely out of Bruce's room before Dick is scooping him up and dragging him into his room. Almost franticly bending him in half as he presses him to the bed, kissing the air out of him. Holding his face as he whispers filthy praise into his lips. Hips relentless as they slam home, pounding at just the right angle.

Like he's trying to make for YEARS of mistakes by pouring it all into pleasure NOW. Clinging tight and trying to fry Tim's brain with how good he can make him feel. Dick buries his faces against Tim's neck and rutts like he's making up for lost time. Fucking Tim through orgasms, spilling again and again, like he's determined to drain his balls dry and wring every last bit of pleasure he CAN out of Tim's exhausted body.

Tim has to threaten to hit him with an alarm clock to let him up. Tim wants LUNCH damn it. They missed breakfast. By a LOT.

But then work calls. Damn it. So he has to get dressed. Double damn it. And he does it, but refuses to be pleased about it. Resolves things. Even gets ahead on work. Only for DAMIAN to walk stiffly into his office. Sus.

The gremlin hands him a frankly VERY well put together report on why he, Damian AL Ghul... should be allowed to fuck a baby into Tim. He has brought along a slide show and genealogical report.

.......Explain.

Damian does. He REALIZED some things about himself. When Tim was discussing becoming a Father. Using the same method as he, himself, was created. Went through a whole "go to the Kent farm and have a life change adventure" character growth arc, as you do. And? Now realizing that he potentially COULD be DIRECTLY involved in the Hypothetical Child's life instead of as an uncle?

He wants in. They could be glorious, combined. AND he firmly believes Tim will be a magnificent Mother. Let him Father your child.

It's a bad idea. Tim knows this. He literally JUST slept with Bruce yesterday and nothing good comes from sleeping with AL Ghul's. They Obsess. But? Fuck it. Maybe THIS is the thing that finally stops the Tim-Gremlin cold war and bring peace to house Wayne once and for all. He unbuckles his belt. Walks over to his resting room.

And Tim KNOWS, even as he's being urgently fucked into the fold out bed, that this is an AWFUL idea. No way in HELL, from the desperate and sloppy thrusts, clinging, panting and whines, is this NOT Damian's first time. He's utterly undone.

Pounding load after load into Tim because it feels too good to stop. All enthusiasm and no skill. Half the pleasure Tim's even GETTING is his own hand, relentlessly teasing his own clit. But? Oh. The feeling of being wanted so BADLY. Of cum, gushing and gushing into him. Knowing it's HIS hole that's so good, it's driving Damian incoherent.

He feels... sexy. It DEFINITELY does something for him. He may not be able to go back. Could see himself enjoying being a milf.

But of course. Business hours end. And he PROMISED! Is swept up by Bart for their threesome. Which, after several rounds and untold loads of near-no-refractary-period speedster cum dumped inside him? Is kinda spotty, in his memory.

All he knows for certain is he wakes up to his sheepish best friends, "Sorry we fucked you unconscious repeatedly" bribes, no voice, and a warm bath. He's also plugged up and FULL full of that premium speedster/half-kryptonian blend cum, because apparently his friend intend to WIN and nothing says victory like overwhelming odds. He'd call them fuckers, but they ARE and hold no remorse. He can't move.

Carry him you bastards.

When he asks where Cassie is, he learns she's apparently trying to harrass the magic users into a making her a temporary "turn me into a dude" amulet. Both as a gift AND so she can join the race for Father Of Tim's Baby. Huh. Interesting new options.

Obviously, throughout ALL of this, ninjas. Because Ra's has never wanted to smash so hard in his LIFE.

Instead, Tim is out here, on Jason's shitty couch. Getting lifted up and slammed down onto his cock. Called baby girl. Princess. Jason's never been harder. Already planning their kids graduation dinner and baby number three.

Tim feeling precious and taken care of and DESIRED. Like the young adult with a first shitty apartment he never got to be. Something so close to normal. Put a baby in him. Fuck him like you love him, like they do this every Saturday night, then eat pizza and watch trash TV. Fill him up.

And if course~ it's a VICIOUS game of Fuck The Tim keep away, up until one day he starts to show. Then Everyone is loving and coddling and in a "No I Am The Father" cold war. The birth is a nightmare, because Tim is slender and more scar tissue then not. But?

Adorable quarter-Kryptonian! With the biggest blue eyes and Tim's porcelain doll face.

Tim is NOT doing that again. Ffffffuck giving birth. And being pregnant! Granted, the EARLY part? He loved. He glowed. Getting pregnant was AWESOME. But later stages? God awful. Clone tube babies from here on out.

Absolute Devastation in the Tom Fucking Community. Babe no! You can't MEAN IT!

Woah, hey! He never said he'd STOP. "Getting Pregnant" is very, VERY enjoyable. He's just refusing to carry SHIT. Birth control for HIM. Scooping that slurry of "leave it up to Nature" out and storing it. Now... Kon stop being smug and hold your son.

-🐼🐼🐼

😭😭😭 tim getting everyone to come to dinner and they all think it was alfred and are like 'this was a great idea alfred! we should all get together like this more often' only for tim to cough and say well actually i called you all here, i figured you all deserved a heads up since i'm going to be undergoing some serious life changes. everyone's confused and then tim says he's going to have a baby.

immediate panic and some disappointment from bruce because he thinks this is a teen pregnancy and he expected better from tim only for tim to have to yell to interrupt everyone and say there is no 'girl', not yet anyway. he's just announcing that he's GOING to have a baby. they're not yet conceived and now the family is dealing with whiplash of how of course TIM would do something like this now they're sitting their listening to him talk about the ideal gene pool given tim's family has a history of mental issues and he's going into some very detailed things like nurseries and everyone just wants him to slow down because tim is still a kid!!! dick is older than him and even HE doesn't feel ready. so everyone is trying to talk tim out of it while tim insists he's ready, he's been going to a therapist for 11 months trying to deal with his issues so he COULD be ready to be a parent.

which of course baffles them even more because???? dick has been trying to get them all into therapist for years and tim just???? went??? on his own????

bruce is of course the least welcoming of tim's ideas of teen parenthood. because what about highschool, college? at least ONE of his kids has to go to college!

tim however says no, says his GED is more than enough.

bruce tries finding other angles, asking what if he just sets tim up with babysitting gigs? make him see kids aren't that great and tim just huffs and said he already did a bunch of babysitting and volunteering at the children's centers in gotham as part of his adoption application!

which ???? just stressed bruce out even more?! because tim had tried to adopt a baby first? but apparently got rejected because of his age, lack of partner, and lack of job which tim loudly says is unfair because bruce was in his 20s when he took in dick and HE hadn't had a partner or a job!

so the family is protesting, despertly trying to get tim to change his mind,,, then tim gets a womb and suddenly the protests die down VERY quick.

[mysteryshoptls]

Hello Ras! I hope that it is okay submitting an ask about a personal story that has not been requested. It is about Cater’s PE Uniform Personal Story/Vignette. The first time I read it would be with the official English version, and I recall being taken a bit aback by Trey’s: “Plus I’m the vice housewarden. You [Cater] and me are tight, but me and Riddle are tighter,” line. I recently have seen some fans online who were taken aback as well. It honestly made me curious what Trey said in the original Japanese and to hear your thoughts when comparing the English line to the Japanese line. Thank you very much!

Sure! Here's the JP and EN line side by side:

Leading up to the line above, in the previous two lines, Cater calls Trey out as a traitor (Trey-tor, hehe) and asks, "Aren't we supposed to be buds!?" Trey responds with, "That's why [I did what I did]. If you lied to Riddle, you would've been in worse trouble later on." Then, in the above picture, the line you mentioned, he says:

"Besides, I'm the Vice Dorm Leader. That also makes me the Dorm Leader's strongest ally."

In giving my thoughts about the original JP line, I think what's important here is two main things: Trey's known relationships with both Cater and Riddle, and the words that Trey specifically chooses to use.

1. Trey's known relationships with Cater and Riddle

Trey and Riddle were friends when they were kids, but they didn't get to see much of each other after Riddle got in trouble with his mother for hanging out with Trey and Che'nya. Their partnership as Dorm Leader and Vice Dorm Leader is pretty strong (although Trey says that all he's doing is working hard so that he doesn't lose his head - Lab Vil's vignette), so although Riddle really doesn't need backup, it would make sense for Trey to be the voice of reason supporting Riddle's decision. Trey and Cater have been friends while at NRC, both third years, were even roommates. Trey is probably one of the only people who can actually read the real Cater, although Cater still tries to hide it from him. They are close friends, built over three years. So, in this vignette example, he basically turns Cater in because they are close friends and he knows how it could get worse for Cater. Cater may not appreciate it in the moment, but you could effectively see that Trey is thinking of Cater's wellbeing by not letting Cater dig that hole any deeper.

2. The words that Trey specifically chose to use.

Trey chooses to say that "as Vice Dorm Leader, I am the Dorm Leader's ally." He has to have Riddle's back, as his right-hand man. Of course Cater is still free to take offense to that, because his friend is "betraying" him. But in the JP version, Trey doesn't say, "[Trey] is [Riddle's] ally," he says "[My position] is [His position's] ally." In the EN version, brushing off Cater's wails by essentially saying that he's not as close of a friend to him as he thinks kind of feels off, in a sense. So I can see why there were people confused.

[hymn-of-muse]

A Haunted Mind 4 | Nightmares

[a haunted mind 4, nighmares]

chapter 4 in whats now a series. see below for announcements!

parts one(link) / two(link) / three(link)

A murky coloured dust brushed through vacant and still air, settling on the ground at her feet before a sudden hot breeze lifted it up and created a thin haze in front of her, obscuring her vision.

Some sort of light source from an unclear direction shone through the misty dust clouds, a stench like smoke filling her nostrils and clogging her lungs as she stepped forward to try and find some sort of sense of direction. 

Catra placed an arm in front of her face to shield her, squinting against the tossing dust and raising heat. Had an explosion gone off? Something was burning... machinery was burning. This was familiar, she'd been here before.

"Catra?" A voice called out in the midst of the flurries of hot dust. Worried at first, soft and inviting, beckoning even. Then it came again. "Catra."

"Adora?!" Catra called out in response, steps picking up pace in the direction of the voice. "Adora, where are you!?"

"Catra!" She called again, a figure vague in the haze of her vision. "Why?"

Why? Why what? What did she mean why? Why wasn't the question to be asking right now! 

"Adora, what's going on, can we-" she paused, two figures becoming clear as the dust parts and clears away to the sides. Before her stood adora, red jacket missing and replaced with some fabric over her back to hide the horde symbol on her back, the other person...was her. 

She'd been here before alright.

"Why didn't you tell me?! You knew?!" Adora shouted, voice more angry and accusatory than the inviting tone from before.

The catra she saw, her younger self, took a few silent steps back before fleeing.

"No, idiot, go back, don't leave her!" Catra hissed at herself. But she had no effect, things still played out in front of her.

"Why?!" The adora before her turned her gaze directly at her, a glare that sent a cold chill down her spine despite the heat around her. "Why did you lie to me!? Why did you leave me like that!?"

"I-i didn't- I...I was hurting! I didn't know how to handle it! Things were changing and I was scared!" She blurted out, taking a cautious step back as her ears flattened and fur stood on alert.

"You lied to me catra!" Adora shot back.

"I wanted to keep you around! I was scared you'd leave if you knew and you did!" She cried out, holding her arms around herself and shutting her eyes tightly. 

A hot gust of wind surrounded her, blowing back her hair and wiping it around until it settled and she reopened her eyes to see adora gone, replaced by she-ra, harsh glare still on her face and bow and glimmer at her side with the same expressions.

"You lied, you hurt us, you fought us, YOU ruined things. You should be glad we even keep you around, you belong in a cell for everything you've done." She-ra scoffed. "Who am I kidding?" She laughed threateningly "you don't even deserve that much, we should honestly just forget about you" she turned her back to catra.

"What? Wait! No! Adora please!" Catra made and attempt to reach out and catch up but the dust returned, particles hitting her face with sharp pricks and slowing her steps as well as clouding her vision again.

"Wow, kitten, you really messed up, huh?" No, not them too. Not again.

A hand slid softly and gently under her chin and tilted her face in the direction of the voice, a toothy grin flashed her way. "Poor, catra, so alone. And it's all your fault too." 

Double trouble chuckled in amusement as catra stumbled back, retracting from their touch. "Stop it! Back off!" She snapped.

"Awe, throwing a fit again, kitten? You really need to stop driving people away, no wonder no one wants to be around you" they snickered, stepping around her and shifting their appearance.

Scorpia walked to her other side, a hurt frown and sad eyes locked on her. "I would have stuck around for you kitty cat, you know that. But you were so...mean, the worst friend. I can't believe I called you a friend in the first place, I was nieve.."

"What? No I know, I should have done better, I get that! But-" her please were cut short by two hands softly combing the Tufts of fur at behind her ears. 

"Sweet, sweet, idiotic, dear child..." The sickeningly sweet motherly voice of shadow Weaver rang through her ears like a toxic honey. "Stupid fool of a girl, you're such a failure. Adora would have achieved so much more if you hadn't gotten in the way." 

Her hands clawed into her shoulders and the air went icy, almost sufficatingly cold. "I had hopes for you, you know? You turned into SUCH a disappointment." The woman growled into her ear before releasing her hands.

"Stop it! Just stop! Why are you doing this!? I said sorry, I'm trying! Why is this still happening?!" Catra cried, curling in on herself and clutching her hair at the sides of her head and pinpricks of tears threatened to sting the corners of her vision.

"Why!?" A pitchy laugh rang out through the dark dusty area she was in. "Why do you think?! You did this after all" 

Catra looked up to see herself, wicked grin and half obscured by a purple, glitchy sort of corruption, the reality around them seeming to break with the same effect.

"You know exactly what we did, don't deny it" her voice came out choppy like a call with bad connection. "The power, the destruction...it all felt so good to do, to let it out and control...you still want that."

"No! I'm DONE with all that! I don't want to hurt anyone! I don't want any of that I never wanted any of that! I don't want to go back!" Catra whimpered, stepping back like a frightened kitten.

"You fear the pain, you're still suffering..." A calmer, clearer version of her voice rang out from the other side. Turning her head catra saw herself in white and green, eyes glossed over with an eerily familiar green light that made the pit in her stomach boil and the fur on the back of her neck raise on end.

"All that hurt and longing, that fear...you were set free once, he can set us free again, if you just let him" she spoke smoothly, extending her hand like offering an olive branch.

"No! No I'm not letting that-that THING back in my head!!" Catra screamed. Desperate now to break from whatever situation this was.

"But you know how nice it is to finally let go, be free of worry, if your mind is at ease. And you know it can be-" a hand appeared on chipped catra's shoulder and catra felt her heart raise as she watched him step out and finish her sentence.

"If you just joined me." He mused, a threatening look in his eyes as he gave that chilling smile. "You know I'm still here. I will always be here" he stepped closer, glowing green lines spreading out from his steps and reaching for her as his low voice grew closer.

"I'm here, you just need to give in. I'll always be here, because I am a part of you now." He grinned maniacally.

Catra felt the green toxic corruption crawl up her limbs, a pain on the back of her neck. "NO!!"

"NO GET-" she bolted upright and her eyes shot open to a dimly lit room. "...away.." her voice fell.

"Mmn? Catra?" Adoras groggy voice could be heard from beside her, limbs still tangled over her body. She had been cuddling her girlfriend before falling asleep with adoras arms and legs wrapped around her like a bear hug.

Adora lifted her head and sat up, noticing catra's heavily breathing and tension. "Hey, hey, you okay? I-do you?"

"I'm fine" catra sighed. "I'm okay...just...just a bad dream" she told her, attempting a smile. A frequent nightmare, something she couldn't shake no matter how many variations played out, they just seemed to get worse.

"I'm here for you catra" adora wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. 

"Thanks.." catra said softly, fighting back tears that wanted to soak her cheeks and replace the dried streams that matted the fur on her face. 

"Wanna just lay here for a bit? I think it's bow's turn to make breakfast" adora said softly, leaning back against her pillow as catra placed her head on her shoulder and nuzzled into her.

"Yeah..." Nothing could chase the nightmares away..at least she got to be in adoras arms when she woke up from them...but for how long would that last? Or would that become part of her nightmares too?

announcement!!

hey! so, i turned this oneshot series into an actual story! and its now available on both quotev and wattpad as a book!

links below!

tagging: @mariabrightmoon

i may have stayed up late putting this together and just threw a book cover together this morning

reblogs are appreciated!

feel free to request more angst, fluff or whatever comes to mind!

be sure to check my pinned post!

[waterfire1848]

Entrapta/hordak + 22

-📖🔭(L)

Hello @xtratooth thanks for the ask!

22. two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

Hordak sighed as he took yet another sip of his drink and leaned back in his chair. Why was he here? Seriously. Why was he at Adora and Catra's wedding? Less than ten years ago he had been trying to kill them and now they invited him to their wedding.

--------------------

"We want you to come-" Adora looked at Catra, who had a raised eyebrow, "I want you to come. It'll be good for you. You can't just hide away in your lab forever."

"I did it for decades and I was content with my life. Why should it be different now?" Hordak asked.

"No war for starters." Adora reminded him.

"He wasn't really doing much for the war anyways." Catra mumbled.

"Catra." Adora moaned, "Please."

"You can't keep me from making comments." Her fiance smirked, taking a bite of a cookie in her hands.

"I appreciate the offer, Adora, but I think it would be best if I stayed out of your wedding ceremony. I don't even know that much about them." Hordak added, but Adora refused to give up. He did have to give her credit. She was persistent. It was why she made such a good soldier. Hordak had once seen her get hit in the face with a metal pole and get rid back up.

"Which is exactly why you should come! Catra and I didn't even know what weddings were until a few months ago and now we're having one. Please, Hordak. It'll be fine, I promise." Hordak growled a little as his ears pinned down. Behind Adora, he could see Catra's ears pinned down as well, clearly against this idea. Adora's blue eyes continued to stare right through him though. Was this a power of First Ones? Being able to make people do what they wanted with a simple stare?

"Fine. I'll go."

"Yes! Thank you! You'll see! It'll be fun!"

------------------------

Hordak would not describe tonight as fun.

The only people who spoke to him were clones that had been invited to the ceremony and party as well. Everyone else avoided him like a sickness. Not that he could blame them. When you tried to take over the planet and murdered hundreds of people, it was very hard to make friends. The only reason he wasn't dead in a grave someone was-

Entrapta.

She was here.

She was sitting at a nearby table. Her long purple hair hanging in it's typical fashion. She was wearing her traditional clothes, except these had no stains on them, but she looked upset. Hordak hadn't seen too much of her recently as she had been needed by her people in Dryl. Honestly, he sometimes forgot she was a princess with people of her own that she was responsible for.

"May I sit?" Hordak asked.

"Of course!" Entrapta chirped, instantly perking up, "I didn't see you at the ceremony. Did you just come?"

"No. I just wanted to keep myself hidden. For everyone's sake." Mostly for Adora's though. She had been one of the few people who actually gave her a chance after everything he did. Having She Ra behind him really did help his case in many instances. Adora and him, both being aliens from other worlds, spent many days bonding over that. Hordak told her as much as he could about the First One's and Adora clung to his every word.

She had done so much for him. He didn't want to be the reason her wedding went wrong.

Entrapta nodded, "Understandable."

"Why do you seem so upset?" Hordak asked.

"Catra and Adora took all my equipment for tracking this social experiment. They even took my notepad." Entrapta put her mask down over her face. At least they let her wear her regular clothes and a mask. Neither woman seemed to have any want to force Entrapta into a dress or suit when she was incredibly uncomfortable in clothing that wasn't her regular clothes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?" Hordak asked.

"Do you have tech?" Entrapta asked.

"None to spare I'm afraid." Hordak clicked the metal on his outfit, one Entrapta had made to help him stand out from the other clones, with his claw.

"Brother!" Another voice yelled.

Hordak looked up to see Wrong Hordak, why he kept that name Hordak would never know, walked over to him, "It is so good to see you! Did you enjoy the ceremony?"

"I did. It was quiet beautiful." Hordak said.

"It really was. I wish I knew more about these Etherian celebrations though?" Wrong Hordak said.

"What do you mean?" Hordak asked.

"In most of the plants Horde Prime took us to, the point of festivals like this was for the couple to share their love and announce it to the world but also to ensure that they would have children and continue both their bloodline and add to the population." Ohhhhhhh. Hordak could already see where this was going, "I congratulated both Adora and Catra on their celebration of love but when I wished them many children they ran away."

“Yes. That is generally something people don’t say to a couple.” Hordak winced.

“Queen Glimmer explained that to me. After I apologized to Adora and Catra, Catra they showed me a new game to play to help me have fun.” Hordak instantly narrowed his eyes. Catra showed him a game?

“What game?” Hordak asked.

“You look at people around you, make a prediction about what will happened and, if it does, take a drink of this beverage she gave me.” Wrong Hordak explained.

“Oh. Wrong Hordak that’s-“

Entrapta was cut off by Wrong Hordak’s smile, “I’ve never had more fun!” He walked off leaving Hordak and Entrapta to share a concerned look.

“He’ll be fine. Clone bodies can handle a good amount of alcohol before becoming intoxicated.” Hordak explained. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head, “However, I think I do have a way now for you to do your experiment even without tech and a notepad."

"Tell me!" Entrapta yelled, using her hair to hold herself up.

“We do what Wrong Hordak is doing.” Hordak explained.

“I don’t want to drink. Alcohol is…” Entrapta just shook, “No. I’m just drinking my fizzy beverages.”

"We wouldn’t drink. We would simply have a competition between the two of us. We’d make predictions about what we think people will do and see how they will react during the party. The one who guesses right the most will get to use the new First Ones tech Adora discovered on her latest mission.” Entrapta’s eyes lit up.

“Let’s do it!” She grinned.

The two began to go around the party, looking at the guests carefully and trying to see if they could pick up a pattern. The two were pretty evenly matched in this respect. While Hordak had been on the planet longer than Entrapta, he hardly left his lab in years and was rusty with interactions with other people. Entrapta, while having been forced to be around some people, simply wasn't good with people. It's why she stuck so close to technology.

After making a couple rounds around the party, the two returned to their table and compared their findings.

"I believe that Scorpia will ask Perfuma for a dance and knock someone out with her tail." Entrapta told him.

"Indicate your reasoning." Hordak said.

"I saw her watching other couples dance but she and Perfuma weren't because Perfuma was speaking with Bow. I also saw her drinking with Catra. I think that, combined with her nervousness, will cause her to paralyze someone on accident." Entrapta predicted.

"Impressive. I believe that Catra will hiss at at least one guest." Hordak said.

"Too broad. You have to make a more specific prediction." Entrapta created a hand out of her hair and pointed at him.

"Very well. She'll hiss at one of the clones." Hordak specified, "Catra has a history of hissing and using her claws when she gets nervous. While this is a happy day for her, I can tell by her tail movements that she's also incredibly nervous. Queen Glimmer and Adora won't stand for her hissing at one of their friends or a citizens, but the clones are still not viewed as full citizens by everyone on Etheria meaning Catra will most likely take her nerves out on one of them." He calmly explained.

"Ohhhh. Good catch with the tail movements." Entrapta created a seat for herself with her hair while Hordak simply leaned back in his chair.

The two watched the celebration continue to unfold until they were disrupted by the sound of a yell. They looked to the dance floor where, sure enough, Scorpia was apologizing over and over to some poor dancer she had hit. Entrapta looked at Hordak with a wide grin while Hordak deflated upon seeing Adora place a hand on Catra's shoulder before she could take her nerves out on a clone that had walked into her.

"I forgot to take Adora calming her down into account." Hordak said.

"One point for me! Let's do another one!" Hordak chuckled lightly upon seeing how happy Entrapta was.

The two continued throughout the night to make predictions and see if they could put their previous studying of social experiments to use. Eventually, the party began to wind down, leaving Hordak and Entrapta as the last ones to leave.

"Entrapta." Hordak whispered, "Entrapta, it's time for us to leave." Finally getting a good look at her, Hordak could see that Entrapta was asleep with her head against his shoulder. Smiling, Hordak took the princess in his arms and brought her to Bright Moon castle where the guards took him to a spare bedroom to use.

"Goodnight, Entrapta. Thank you for a great evening." Hordak was about to turn and leave but Entrapta grabbed him by the waist with her hair. It seemed her hair had a mind of it's own because it acted without Entrapta even waking up, dragging him back to the bed, "Alright. Alright." Hordak's words seemed to calm the hair enough to let him go.

The former leader of the Evil Horde climbed into bed with the scientist and got under the covers. Once again, Entrapta's hair worked it's magic and brought him closer to her until they were only an inch or two away. The hair refused to let go until Hordak was holding Entrapta. His eyes grew heavy watching the princess sleep until they closed, leaving him and Entrapta fast asleep inches apart from one another.

[twig-tea]

Bump Up Business Review

I just binged the entire show, and...really don't know what to think lol This is a drama in which idols from a group that first gained notoriety by overtly appealing to shipping culture in their choreography and MVs and then moved to making explicitly queer music videos that were dedicated to giving visibility and garnering acceptance for love between two men [the song dedications are in the official video descriptions], are starring as idols being asked to follow a "business gay" concept but who actually fall in love. This is...complicated.

Overall, this was better than I was braced for. It was a lot of fun watching OOO act, and the OST is great. Lots of flaws but I didn't feel like I wasted my time.

Spoilers below the cut.

Things I liked about the drama:

Both of them already knew they were gay from ep1 (it's unclear whether Eden is homophobic based on his childhood experience, but my takeaway was that he was trying to hide his homosexuality rather than being in denial. He is clearly super interested in Jihoon from jump and has to keep talking himself down. And we get him explicitly calling J his first love, which to me makes it clear his 'what do you mean, how could a guy be a first love' to Jihoon was his attempt to wave that off without outright saying Jihoon was wrong.

This means that unlike what I was bracing for, this was two various-states-of-closeted gay men in a homophobic but also ship-driven industry being asked to pretend to have affection for one another for views while they develop real affection for one another. Much more interesting than thought-I-was-straight drama!

The chemistry between Nine and Mill is of course excellent; for those who don't know OnlyOneOf they were already a ship before this series and are the stars of the last two music videos in their Be series.

Real kiss on camera (though see the list below)

I liked the OST main song , which is lucky because it repeats a couple of times

The we-met-in-childhood couple was not endgame for once!

Things I did not like:

This drama is really short, and the story is too complicated for the length (there are TWO love rivals?!; just generally it tried to give emotional weight to too many things and as a result nothing had emotional weight)

What happened between Hyunbin and Jihoon is not clear; it seems like Hyunbin conspired with Go Ra-eun to drug and take compromising photos of Jihoon so as to create rumours...I'm really not clear whether this was to hide their romance or to make him stop his idol activities, though I'm guessing the latter.

This drama didn't seem like it could decide whether it was in the BL world or the real world (in which homophobia exists). The CEO seemed fine with the idea of Jay and Eden dating; but Hyunbin challenged Eden that if he pursued Jihoon he'd have to tell his family and friends about him.

The acting was very uneven (Nine and Mill's acting was surprisingly good for most of it; I liked Mill's version of sunshine and Nine's version of grumpy)

The CEO is somewhat villainized as only caring about her agenda and not caring about the wellbeing of her idols, but this is also shown to be good business, so I'm not really sure it is successful in making a point about the industry, if it was trying to.

Similarly there was not enough in the way of exploring the impact and consequences of feeding into shipping culture for my taste; I feel like this show wants credit for criticizing this type of approach without actually criticizing it (other than the one moment where Eden says it's wrong and is ignored).

It drives me mad that the kiss we got was explicitly stated to be "business only" even though it clearly wasn't; it was also (less clearly) a drunk kiss; why do a kiss fake-out at the end? I assume it was to not encourage fans in thinking Nine & Mill are real, but if that's the concern then don't do this plot in the first place?

There was no good explanation for why Jihoon was avoiding Eden and why he was so successful; how had Eden gone from "I'll talk to him directly" to not going into Jihoon's dressing room to talk?

The water trauma was really glazed over

It ends in a really precarious spot, it's not clear at all what their future will be, whether they'll be allowed to stay in the group and date, whether they'll continue, etc.

Just generally this show started a lot of threads and did not do a good job maintaining them or keeping things moving evenly.

I don't have a rating system, so I'll just say: It's a good binge if you're bored. I feel like I still need to sit with the storyline about the idols but as it stands: it's complicated.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Listen there is so many characters that represent intergenerational trauma in bemis run, (Ra as Khonshu's dad and a foil to Elias, Ernst as the personification of the people who killed Marc's family) but then Bemis doesn't explore that or botches the exploration

Like we already the Khonshu-Elias foil from Lemire run and then there's the grandfather Marc never knew. Who he only knows about through Yitz. and like I hate Yitz and Ernst being the same person (and a rabbi, it's not egdy it's just antisemitic) but Ernst is compelling to me (you are allowed to also be bored by him).

Here is the personification of what your father escaped and hey maybe if you kill your grandfather's murderer you'd get closure? Ha ha no.

But also clearly that's a story that Jews, not edgelord messianics get to tell.

I refuse to ever say anything nice about Bemis.

So the characters that represent intergenerational trauma do NOT come from Bemis' run.

Let's head back to "Death of Elias Spector" by Zelenetz.

This is where we get the story of the generational trauma and start to understand Moon Knight… Where we start to understand Marc Spector.

Up to this point, we have seen him be angry about Antisemitism, fight neonazi scum, and protect Jewish shop-keeps and the likes. We see him get angry about the bombing of a Synagogue and we see him become emotional over the loss of friends.

Before Zelenetz, we understood these to all be proper responses for a Jewish man. Or even just a man in this time period.

But it's when we see the generational trauma that was put so heavily on Marc's shoulders that we start to see those responses as more. We start to see his inner struggles with identity and expectations. We see him be a good man that sees himself as a bad one.

Bemis didn't see any of this.

Bemis said "What if the Rabbi is a Nazi and Marc witnessed him killing people?" He wants it to be more about personal betrayal and revenge than about the horrors of what an actual Nazi is!

There was no undertone. There was nothing deep. This was a man TRYING to tell a deep story for the sake of feeling an egotistical rush so he can pat himself on the back and let people think he's a good Jew.

You don't have to make a Nazi into a supernatural serial killer out for blood to make them into a horror figure.

The real horror lies in the fact that they were regular people that did these things because someone with a little power told them that it was okay.

But let's play with the story a moment. For argument's sake.

Ra as Khonshu's father SHOULD have been a fantastic foil to Elias. Much like in MCU when Ammit was a foil to their mother.

We should have gotten the dissapointed father. We should have gotten the failure for Khonshu to change the world for the better. We should have seen Khonshu change and grow and be able to rise up and declare that HE protects the travelors of the night. That he has chosen a perfect Avatar that can change the world. That he is the Pathfinder, the Embracer, the traveler, and the Defender.

And with that, there is more than violence and fighting. that he can be gentle and kind too.

But we didn't get that.

And Khonshu remains the same.

Moving on to the grandfather. Marc's whole family was murdered in WWII. None of them made it out except for his father and mother.

We don't need an enemy to be a murdering Nazi that specifically targeted his grandfather to make Marc angry.

We don't need a revenge story. That isn't what Moon Knight is about. Because he can't forgive a Nazi. And a Nazi should not live. And there is no way Marvel is going to show him killing a former Nazi out of pure revenge and not have that mess up the character of Marc Spector.

This isn't a revenge story of him hunting down Nazi.

He should never have touched on this. Because there ARE real Nazi that got away with it. There are real Nazi fucks that did terrible things and then wandered off to live normal happy lives.

Having him hide in plain sight AS A JEWISH RABBI is such a kick in the teeth.

And I'm going to do a review specifically on this run in a bit. Expect that soon.

I liked having Yitz as YITZ. Marc getting close to an older Rabbi because he couldn't get close to his own father is a good story. It shows his disconnect with people his own age and his father. It also shows him studying the Torah and working hard to be a good perfect Jewish boy, which leads into Steven's side of things and then further into Jake's take on the spiritual protector.

Heck, an interesting story would be if Yitz had done something that he felt betrayed his trust because then we have a good solid role model that somehow abandoned him or hurt him in some way. And it wouldn't have had to be something terrible. Maybe he left to another state to be with a different Synagogue without warning. Maybe he died suddenly? Any of those things could have hurt him and made him feel alone, since he already didn't connect to children in his school or his own father. We know that Marc feels alone and worthless. It's not a far stretch to show that maybe it started from losing someone he looked up to as a good Jewish person and then not having a role model anymore.

I did not like Ernst. Was he interesting? Probably. I get where he can be compelling as a villain. We all want to hate a good Nazi villain. It's one thing Hollywood has shown time and time again.

But there is no closure in this. There will never be closure in this. Marc still lost his family. His grandfather was a drop in an ocean and if they REALLY wanted to put Nazi fucks in the story, they should have just had young Marc accidentally walk into a KKK rally or something. Because we don't need the threat of the old Nazi. The Nazi just changed their hats. They're still out here today.

This is a story Bemis should never have touched.

I apologize it if sounds like I'm angry. I'm not angry at you by any means!

I'm just so pissed off at Bemis. I respect your wanting to see a better story from the stones Bemis laid before us. It's nice to dream that he could have been a better writer.

Marvel has a lot to answer for and this is just one more thing they managed to really screw up.

[darkcat8]

Amunet, the leader of ankh tribe.

I want to write more info about anubis's and wepwawet's mother amunet and draw what she looked. Amunet was born blind. However, despite her blindness she is the most strongest warrior in her trib. before she died in battle, Amunet was the guardian of the dead and the afterlife. (Think of amunet being Osiris from egyptians Mythology) amunet created ammit use some of her essence, so technically, ammit is anubis and wepwawet's sister.

She is also as powerful as Ra himself. However, amunet has a rare egyxos disease that is known to be practically a death sentence for anyone who is unfortunate enough to contract the dreadful sickness. Centuries before the war between Exaton and Kefer, a greater threat apopis. Kefer and exaton are only children around this time. Ra Suspects that their is a trader among egyxos working for apopis. When Ra was close to finding out who the trader was. kefer, who is 10 years old at this time, mysterious was poisoned, most likely by trader working for apopis, causing fall into a comma. The kingdom of egyxos about Amunet and her tribe but what did not know she had the ability of camouflage. she was the last being who had this ability because of try hunter other who have kind of ability. By using that ability, she made her way into egyxos, the reasoning being she had uncovered that apopis need the book of the dead that was hidden locked way in egyxos to escape the Netherrealm While searching the pyramid, amunet comes across kefer. Amunet didn't know that one of the apopis minions had poisoned kefer one of ra's heirs to the thorne. Seeing this made Amunet angry and more determined to stop apopis minions. It wasn't the fact that kefer was an heir to a thorne that made her so full of rage us was the fact he was a child, an innocent soul that was not much older than her twin sons who partly the main reason why she try to stop apopis plans in the first place. Apopis had sent one his minions to her trib and attacked her sons. Anubis and wepwawet were somewhat skilled at this point so they could defend they, but the minions attempted attack ended scaring both of them. Luckily, Amunet knew the kind of infliction Kefer was exposed to and knowing that he still was fairly in the first stage of the infliction, which meant that the inflation could cure. Amunet removed the poison from Kefer before falling on the ground weakly, as one of the symptoms of sicknesses manifested though she was powerful. Her illness couldn't be cured even with her power. All she could do was slow the process down and hide the symptoms, which one of them were markings of white lines on her limbs looking like veins. Amunet concealed markings before being caught by one of the slaves of Apophis. A battle started between Amunet and slave. the slave was no match for Amunet. she tries to tell the slave that was is working for Apophis is manipulating them into doing this. she had no choice but to use her power. but as a result, the symptoms of her illness manifested once again, but this time, it was far worse. Amunet grew weak, the markings spread on her body, and she became dizzy as she fell to the floor. she wasn't unconscious, but with the amount of pain, her sickness was causing her wish she was. but it was only temporary as she used her power to conceal her symptoms before looking up to see an old friend Ra. The reason egyxos knows about amunet is because she and Ra are old and very good friends. (Think of mufasa and rafiki from the Lion King amunet is the spirit Guardian, and Ra is the great king.) Long story short amunet reveals to ra that Apophis need the book of the dead to escape the Netherrealm. While keeping an eye on kefer, Amunet works with the first gen GA, use the book of the dead they do stop apopis from breaking free and taking over. Amunet and Ra both agree that it is too dangerous to keep the book of the dead, so they decide to split the book into pieces since it couldn't be destroyed. Even though they stopped apopis, they hadn't found out who poisoned kefer. (I think we all who did it. "cough" exaton "cough") before she left amunet reveals to Ra that she had unintentionally saw into kefer's soul, and even though he hasn't shown it yet he has the makings of a warrior and he most likely will become as powerful and as great as of ruler as his father.

[keicordelle]

The Daily Inconveniences of an Au Ra: Funerary Rites

Death in Eorzea confused Keshet. Not because it was particularly different than death on the Steppe - he was already familiar with the fact that others outside the Dotharl did not return when they died, even if he wasn't used to losing friends to that fact. Hyur and Miqo'te and the rest died just as readily as Au Ra - more so, perhaps, given their lack of protective scales, but the same methods still applied. No, it wasn't the death itself that perplexed him. It was the rituals that came afterwards.

The sun shone brightly overhead, it's cheerful gleam in stark contrast to the tear tracks that glistened on Alphinaud's cheeks and the silent sorrow that permeated the air. The stiff black fabric itched at Keshet's skin and tugged at his chest, the borrowed suit as uncomfortable as the Au Ra who sported it. He shifted from foot to foot as subtly as he could, trying not to draw attention to himself as he tugged at the tie pulled snug around his neck. He didn't really understand why he had had to trade his usual attire for Ishgardian formal wear, but Alphinaud had insisted that it was a matter of respect. Keshet suspected it had something to do with making you as uncomfortable on the outside as you were on the inside.

All around him, others wore the same sombre garb, lace veils hiding tear-streaked faces and embroidered handkerchiefs blotting runny noses. Keshet stared up at Artoirel at the front of the crowd, the great spires of the Vault looming over him, and felt even more out of place than usual. No tears choked the back of his throat, and if his eyes watered, it was only because the cold bit at his face. It was not the response that was expected of him, that much he knew. Everyone seemed to expect him to break down and sob, or to erupt in some sort of sorrowful display, but he mostly just felt lost beneath those stolen glances and murmured consolations. It was like they were waiting for something, but he didn't know what.  He felt like he was missing something, like there was some universal truth he'd overlooked that everyone else seemed to understand implicitly and that no one seemed inclined to share. But... Haurchefant was dead. It was tragic, yes, but Keshet didn't see the point to all this ceremony. Haurchefant didn't care if they got all dressed up to cry over him; he was past caring about anything. Why couldn't they just mourn on their own and each remember him in their own way? Keshet could understand drawing support from your community, of course, but it seemed like half of Ishgard had turned out for this funeral, and he knew for a fact that a not insignificant number of them wouldn't have so much as given Haurchefant the time of day a week ago. The ritual was meant to "honor his memory," Alphinaud had said, but Keshet failed to see how any of this honored Haurchefant. If they wanted to honor him, they should avenge his murder - or at the very least carry on his legacy through action rather than this uncomfortable gathering that was more about politics than the man it claimed to honor.

And don't even get Keshet started about the box with the corpse in it. That was... He had no doubt his Eorzean comrades would consider his people barbaric for their treatment of their dead, but to him the concept of entombing the body in stone to preserve it and burying it far beneath the ground was abhorrent. Far better to allow the dead to return to nature in peace than to try to stave off the inevitable decay. When a Dotharl died, their body fed the animals of the desert - the same animals that the surviving tribe members would then hunt down and eat themselves. The dead aided their living comrades even beyond the bounds of their mortality. To have your corpse paraded around for others to look upon and wet with their tears... It was macabre. 

But Keshet stood there like he was supposed to, staring at Artoirel and Emmanellain and Edmont and just anything he could other than the stone box that held the lifeless cadaver of his dead friend. The endless speeches turned into a wordless drone as strangers who'd once whispered cruelties behind Haurchefant's back spoke of how wonderful he had been and all the good he had done for them. Inside, Keshet’s stomach churned, but he held himself still and respectful against the freezing chill beneath the heartless sun.

Artoirel's voice cut through his silent discomfort. "Would you like to say a few words, Keshet?"

Keshet froze, panic singing through his veins. Say a few words? Words about what? About Haurchefant? What was he supposed to say? 'I'm sorry I got your brother killed'? Somehow he suspected that was not the sort of sentiment they were looking for. But everyone was watching him, and they assumed he knew the steps to this dance even if he was pretty sure he was about to stick his big old foot in his mouth. He glanced anxiously at Alphinaud, but the boy had the same expectant look on his face as everyone around them, waiting for him to say something profound or at least situationally appropriate. Right.

"Uh. Haurchefant died a noble death, and if he were one of my people, there's no doubt in my mind that the next child born would bear his soul. But, uh. He's not, so. The best I can do is avenge his death. And um. Remember him?"

The low muttering that rose in the wake of his words was not particularly reassuring, but Artoirel clapped him on the arm and Edmont offered him a watery smile and a respectful nod before continuing on with his own remembrances. And so Keshet returned to awkwardly shifting from foot to foot and trying not to stare at the corpse of his friend, longing fiercely for the easy death rituals of his own people.

At least if he didn't want to attend any more Eorzean funerals, the solution was easy enough: he just had to make sure no more of his friends died.

-

Read the rest of the series on Ao3!

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[runby2]

List of revealed therapy robots in @rar-archive and if they're valid or not

Mang - the mango themed therapy robot - NOT VALID. even if mang was brought to magical existence in a good factory he would have fought back at authority. it is merely the time and place of mang's existence that makes him an activist and hero. huge ego despite looking humble. messiah complex. 0/10 FREAK

Pash - The passion fruit robot - NOT VALID. punches their peers into submission and got five other robots killed. even if it was by accident that's a little fucked up. theater kid. probably says mental illness slurs. 0/10 FREAK

Lych - The lychee robot - NOT VALID punches his boyfriend, fell into the homophobia pipeline online despite being genderless. graffitis over his own rights activism. definitely says mental illness slurs. gamer. 0/10 FREAK

Concord - The grape robot - NOT VALID punches his boyfriend. hates women despite being genderless and having he/she pronouns. vandalizes other people's property, even his own. says mental illness slurs. 0/10 FREAK

Seckel - The pear robot - NOT VALID writes fanfiction of their peers and shares it with Kii. 0/10 FREAK

Kii - The kiwi robot - NOT VALID applies anime logic to real life and wants to be a cat boy. spies on peers. 0/10 FREAK

Palm - The coconut robot - NOT VALID Wants to date old rich men and doesn't even care if the old rich man killed people. 0/10 FREAK

Ras - The raspberry robot - NOT VALID A snitch. Wants to befriend old rich men and be above their other peers. Universally hated. 0/10 FREAK

Macintosh - The apple robot - NOT VALID Dated everyone they ever saw, held grudges despite pretending they didn't, talked behind other peers' backs. Didn't want their boyfriend to die in the activist movement. 0/10 FREAK

Berry - The blueberry robot - NOT VALID Accepted shoes as a bribe to stay silent about Mang's actions. Blames himself for Mang's death. Sleeps through his work shifts despite telling others not to. 0/10 FREAK

Lime - The lime robot - NOT VALID Knew his peers would die if they broke rules and still enforced the rules. Liked to scare Lych and Concord over the intercom speakers when they were caught touching antennas in the back hallway. Lives for capitalism and would sell their friends to their death to stay alive themselves. 0/10 FREAK

Lemie - The lemon robot - NOT VALID loves to prank people, is a tiktok influencer, says "cowabunga" and "broski", lied to his boss about being able to read big words, hides under his boss's bed and attacks her talons when she comes into the room at night. 0/10 FREAK

Cado - The avacado robot - NOT VALID would blackmail anyone in a heartbeat if they so much as critiqued room 444. Spread rumors about room 111, indirectly fueling the fire to get the childcare robots taken out. Would definitely kin veronica sawyer. 0/10 FREAK

Blackberry - NOT VALID Cooked food that was amazing but regularly engaged in cyber bullying his peers. Dressed nicely and spoke politely despite hating everyone in TTH. 0/10 FREAK

Huckleberry - NOT VALID Claimed to be pro life, died anyway. Labeled his peers as fictional characters to help cope with the fact he could never be friends with any of them except Dew. 0/10 FREAK

Dew - The Honeydew robot - NOT VALID everything Dew said that wasn't directed at Pash or Lightman was fueled by hatred but delivered as gentle as a butterfly's fluttering wings. Likes Kpop 0/10 FREAK

Husk - The pineapple robot - NOT VALID never did any work and was never present enough to respond to people asking him not to talk to the walls instead of the patients. 0/10 FREAK

thank you.

this is satire

[farmerlesbian]

5, 15, 21, 33

5. Are you “out” publicly? yeah! i am visibly lesbian and visibly trans/nonbinary/gnc and i flag very obviously almost all the time. i am publicly out to everyone. i'm not really able to hide it either if i wanted to.

15. How has your identity changed over time? oof well.. i .. hm. i spent a long time essentially unlabeled for my orientation because i struggled to reconcile being nonbinary and being into Ladies. and i hadn't really had many homo experiences so i wasn't even sure who i was into.

ok let's wind back a bit. so when i was a kid i knew something was.. there. i was incredibly afraid of it. (i guess now we're gonna answer the neurodivergent question haha) i couldn't even name it for myself in my own head. i would not. i was absolutely terrified.

now for context you need to know i was somewhat.. ostracized? i was lowkey bullied and i was very self-conscious, socially awkward, insecure, lonely. you know how people say little girls can tell someone is neurodivergent better than doctors? yeah. so i was extremely concerned with being Normal and being like accepted and having successful social interactions. i did not face concerns about family acceptance or religious homophobia or transphobia. this was about peer acceptance and social isolation/success.

so this is why i was terrified of the ... thing i could not name. so i wouldn't even say i was closeted because i wasn't out to myself. i remember.. telling myself something along the lines of.. like needing to be strong, and keep this secret forever and never let it out never tell anyone, ever. if i can do that it will be okay. this hyper-vigilance.

so i self identified as "boy-crazy", as a half-subconscious strategy to avoid scrutiny. i also tried very hard to make sure to act very Normal about girls and not be too avoidant with my eyes. i developed crushes on boys. now to be clear looking back on it, i intentionally did this and made sure to be conspicuous about it. oh what a time. i even had boyfriends.

around high school time i was on the internet a lot. i added tumblr to the websites i was going on and i found nonbinary people. i was fascinated by androgyny and nonbinary people, and i was learning about like social justice stuff a lot and i was like kinda Ally mode. i can't remember much exactly, i was also very much sleep deprived for much of later high school and mentally not well. i was friends with some gay people. i knew some people who were out by this time. i don't think i was thinking of myself as gay at this time yet. probably open to the idea of neutrality as a gender at this time. if i'd known a word for it i probably would have claimed it and identified with it.

then i went to college and i think something inside me knew i was like planning to be gay in college? like i completely subconsciously was like waiting for it. i was still deeply nervous and afraid but i was around a lot of new people and it's socially acceptable / normal to like experiment and stuff in college. i started experimenting with expressing attraction to women when talking with friends, or using words for myself like butch or dyke. (i didn't really know what the words meant i just was trying them on). i was around a lot more people who were out. i started trying out flirting with girls. i probably thought of myself as bi around this time.

then sophomore year i ended up on in 'gender inclusive housing' - a floor of one door building where any people could be roommates regardless of gender. we called it the queer floor. my RA was trans, manyyy of my floormates were lgbtq. there were a handful of straight people of the floor but the majority were queer. it was dramatic but fun honestly and an incredible experience being surrounded by that, and all the people i met through these people. i definitely started identifying as nonbinary and neutrois and using they/them around this time. i think i used demigirl a little bit but didn't feel super strongly towards it. i met my now-wife in the spring. i don't recall using any super specific words for my orientation other than like queer. i didn't know for sure what my orientation was so i was just keepin it vague. i didn't even really know for sure my gender i just knew somethin was going on!

couple years went by and i met a lesbian friend i became close with and i became more comfortable claiming it as an identity, at the same time as being nonbinary. around that time i started this blog.

and more years have gone by and i still feel like lesbian and nonbinary are true. I feel more secure and confident in being able to be both not a woman or girl or aligned with it at all and also being a lesbian, as well as confident in being into some nonbinary people and still being a lesbian. i think the specifics of my gender labels would include: trans, nonbinary, transgender and transsexual, transmasc (i guess? i'm unsure how i feel about this label and its usefulness in general or its accuracy for me. i kinda feel like sure i guess it is technically correct), neutrois, androgyne, neutral. stuff along those lines.

21. What message would you give to your younger self? bro... i don't even know. "it doesn't have to be great or even good, it just needs to be done". "it's okay to be gay it's okay to say it, it isn't going to help you to try to hide it and you shouldn't expect yourself to keep that hidden away forever it will eat you up inside and you don't deserve that".

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate? I'm proud that I'm me! I'm proud to be a dyke. I'm proud to be nonbinary. I'm proud to be exactly who I am, whether it's popular or not, whether anyone else gets it or not. I'm proud to be one member of a vibrant and beautiful and messy family. 🌈

send asks / #ask farmer lesbian

[oathofpromises]

“Your absence has gone through me like a thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

( my absent lover starter for the WoL from the Crystal Exarch )

Stella held a hand to her heart, as she listened to G'raha speak. How long she had yearned to hear him say he missed her. That she wasn't the only one who suffered during the other's absence. It had been unbearable to see his back fading. The tears that had slipped passed her eyes, as the Au Ra tried to remain calm. Her heart, a whirlwind of emotions. He always did have a way of making her feel such affections. The two were alone in the Ocular at this point, the rest of the scions retired for the night.

"Raha....you want the truth? My heart burned for you since that day. There has never been anyone else that I feel like this for, despite the stories written. I can’t think of anytime I didn't think about you. Seeing you here, in the first...I'm left with so many questions. How exactly did you end up here? The amount of pain you suffered just to get to this point...I can't bare to think of you alone all these years."

It made her heart ache, imagining him enduring all of this without anyone to lean on. Yes, he was the Crystal Exarch to the people of the first, but to her he meant the entire world to her. Slowly, she walked closer to the other, his hood down now. They had no need hide anything from the other.

“Your absence shook my very soul.. There wasn’t, nothing I wouldn’t do to bring you back…even if that meant losing myself in the process. You mean the universe to me..I chose you Raha. It's always been you."

Her hand slowly reached up, cupping his face, feeling the cold of the crystal against her touch. Oh, how she missed him..no matter how much time had passed, he was still the beautiful man she had fallen in life with during the Crystal Tower quests. The one person that could cause such a stir of emotions within her chest. This was new to the traveler, no one had managed to work their way into her heart to the point she could hardly think of anything else.

"If I could've given up everything to join you back then, I would've in a heartbeat...there wasn't any day that passed that I didn't recall our adventure into the tower. How quickly you managed to warm into my heart. I didn't want to let a single person that close...usually anyone near me ends up getting hurt, or worse..."

Stella glanced away, a sorrow behind those pink eyes. Her mind wandering to the moments she had lost dear friends. They had given up so much just save her. Why was she worth so much to everyone? Is it because of her title. That only she could prevent the darkness from consuming the world. Surely, the weight was starting to tell.

"I am not worth such affections Raha...no matter how much I love you. In the end, you will only suffer more being close to me..." A part of her didn't mean that, but could she risk losing him all over again? No..the very idea of saying goodbye did nothing to soothe the storm inside her chest. The others were gone, surely it was okay to be a little vulnerable around Graha, but he had so much on his shoulders too. Her body refused to listen to her mind though, as her forehead leaned against his chest. Fingers grasped at his robes, as her face was hidden from his view. It wasn't like the warrior of light to show such emotions in front of anyone. People expected her to be the hero, so no matter what she would always put everyone else first before her own needs.

'I missed you...my heart it aches just knowing how much you went through to keep me safe. Why did you go far for someone like me? Raha.." muttered the Au Ra, as she allowed tears to fall down the sides of her face. It hurt to keep acting like she wasn't hurt by all this. That she didn't want to be close to him always and the further apart they had been the emptier her soul had felt.

"Please don't leave me again..."sobbed Stella, as her tears hit his chest. It was moments like this that the Dancer would allow herself to show those deeper emotions, but only to him. To her Raha.

[chouchinobake]

Ten characters, ten fandoms, ten tags

i've been tagged by @b-lizi, thank you dear x) sooo *cracks knuckles*

Nico di Angelo, 『Percy Jackson series』 : this character is one of the most interesting in the whole riordanverse, and my fav obviously. he's been through so much, and alone, he faced death, horror, time, his own feelings, the way he's been educated, loneliness, literal hell, and still he's fighting and stays a sarcastic badass bitch with an enormous heart. love my emo boy <3

Grell Sutcliff, 『Kuroshitsuji』 : my supreme goddess *^* no seriously this woman is my big crush of the series (with Gregory Violet, sweet baby), and i wish we get to know her backstory soon because yana you can't drop an information like that and not developing it, you c a n ' t. i really like the way she just lives her life the way she wants and doesn't give a shit about what others can say about her. she's so strong, and completely insane, and funny, and a sweet dumbass, and passionate, and i love her sm dnfkfksfn

Shougo Makishima, 『Psycho Pass』 : as an antagonist, he's to me the best. one. ever. i mean, his motivations to do what he did were just so valid?? he did use the wrong methods, but he was so right, he even realized what was wrong in this society before the main characters did, and he's the one that enabled them to open their eyes and really think about how dystopic their system is. many would compare him to light yagami but i do not agree. he sticked to his convictions from the beginning to the end, know : "i want people to be able to think by themselves and make their own choices, may them be bad or good". what a king

Double Trouble, 『She-Ra』 : my absolute crush of the series. they're so chaotic, so sassy, so dramatic, that's everything i want, that's everything i need. AND ofc they're the first enby rep i saw in a piece of media x) if they were to order me to join the dark side i totally would lmao i'm a chaotic evil for them

Irene Adler/James Bond, 『Yuukoku no Moriarty』 : she's THE love at first sight of these last years. i didn't have any crush in ynm, and i thought it was strange because they're all so good(-looking lol). and then i understood my heart was only ready for her, call me a silly romantic person but arghkgkfl she's incredible. her convictions are beautiful and she uses her status to break the law in order to piss the nobility off and destroy a society she thinks is rotten to the core. thinks outside the box, doesn't give a darn about people's judgment, assumes her choices, doesn't let people walk all over her. she's perfect

Jung Myeong-Seok, 『Extraordinary Attorney Woo』 : okay i haven't even finished the series yet, i have two episodes left tbh, but i couldn't not mention him. he's kinda different from the type of characters i like, but i recently realized i liked characters like him : strict, serious and professional, but who actually are big softies with a golden heart and who care for others. he completely got me the sec he smiled, i'm so weak omg. (andhessogoodlookingimlosingit)

Haruka Hashida, 『Blue Period』 : my tastes in side characters being so high in this list i just realized. anyway. this man is so weird and yet so down-to-earth and logical it's almost weirder. his thoughts about art, painting and likes and dislikes are just so true, he manages to bring the readers to really think and reconsider their perspective. he's also the one that helps the most the mc re-think about his own art and kinda frees him from his prejudices and the limits he imposes to himself. supportive character/20

Pina, 『Beastars』 : mamma mia is anyone surprised by this ? he's the kind of sassy bad bitch i love and manages to hide his big heart and actual care for his friends behind a sarcastic and self-absorbed attitude. he's so goddamn funny, pretty (in an animal beauty scale) and just brings the peps and light atmosphere the series needs since it gets darker and darker

Esmeralda, 『The Hunchback of Notre-Dame』 : i'll only be talking about the disney movie here because i haven't read the novel yet (gonna do it soon, victor hugo is a god). she's my favorite disney character tbh, for a lot of reasons. she's to me the most altruistic, just, kind-hearted and lovable character of all. she has every right to hate religion since the whole world hates her for "religion said so". she has every right to ask for something for herself since she's always had to fight in order to just survive. instead, she asks to a god (that she's been told hates her) love and justice for those who live without, reminding that everybody is a child of god and has the right to be loved, and doesn't ask for anything for herself. she plays with laws, she helps others and she fights for justice with joy, passion and insolence

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, 『Bungou Stray Dogs』 : i really hesitated between him and chuuya, but i think i have more things to say about aku. i didn't like him at first, but i progressively understood him and had affection for him, he's my son now. his psychology is very interesting, especially when linked to his past and the original author's life. he's a really sad character, but also kinda funny, touching and such a stubborn brat omg. his evolution his the best and i look forward to see what he'll become (and i prey so he can actually have a chance to become something fjfkxks guys i'm so scared rn)

i talked sm lmao, never ask me about my fav characters i'll give you 500-page essays. i don't think i can tag many people, so it won't be "10 tags" sorry sorry. soooo i tag @gradually-watermel0n @shimy-deko @mariaoz @orphabirds @the-bloody-sadist + anyone who wants, have fun x)

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

A Not Literally Real But Essentially Real Part (With a Short Reason For Why I'm Sharing It Today)

Yesterday, J and The Boy and G the Psychotic Clown Dog and I took a walk in a county park. There are two parks closer to our home, but we went to the one with the long trail yesterday, sort of as a 'treat.' You know...for G mostly, but for all of us since it's the one we don't go to as much and it's obviously a longer walk outside and a longer time together. We all expected it to be a nice time. As we turned one trail corner, another couple was walking a cute little corgi (we love corgis). All of us focused on the adorable dog, but as they got closer to us, the man half of the couple was someone who emotionally abused and kind of terrorized me seven years ago, back when I considered him a friend. I won't get into the specifics of what he did here, but I guess if you want those details, I probably should talk about it more to deal with it, since even with not seeing him at all for seven years, and never thinking about him at all for most of those seven years, seeing him for maybe 10 seconds yesterday still triggered me. I've written recently about how being lonely in my life has led me to connect to some pretty shitty people. I've never had an easy go of things making and especially keeping friends. So I've fallen for users and narcissists more than my fair share of time in the friendship department across my life. J is the most important and easiest connection I've ever made in my life, and yeah...I've had bad luck with human connection, particularly making lasting friends, but J isn't my only good connection, and I do have some good friends. I really do. So today I'm sharing a piece of my novel, Community, which is the sequel to the first novel I wrote and let other people read, so it's the same characters.

I didn't literally meet my friends A and D this way in middle school, but I DID meet them both in middle school, and they were the first two people to be genuinely kind to me at a new school where I didn't know anyone. I wasn't bullied in elementary school like Jess was, but I did feel separated in a permanent way when I left my old district, and I was really separated for partial days from the other kids while I was there, into a group of me and just boys. Josh Shepard is heavily inspired by my real life bestie, A, and Kurtis Richardson is heavily inspired by my real life dear friend, D, who truly was literally the first person to be nice to me when I moved to my middle/high school school district. I am so grateful for these men. They're real. They befriended me despite how weird and quiet I am, and have always appreciated the quirky shit about me, and have never lied to me, and have never used me. So anyway...this isn't literally real, but it's how I emotionally feel about meeting A and D, and how I feel about their continued friendship and positive, kind, supportive presence in my life. They are my old friends.

Excerpt from Community:

Josh Shepard drew a snake-like, fire-breathing dragon on the slick top of his seventh grade pre-algebra desk in number two pencil. It was incredibly ornate and lifelike, but when Mr. Ramos entered the class with a new student practically hiding behind him, Josh licked his thumb and erased his work, staining his skin, so he looked like he’d just had a thumbprint taken.

“Why don’t you draw that stuff on paper, man? So you can save it? That’s good stuff,” Kurtis Richardson said from the seat to his right. They were the first two students in the first row. Mr. Ramos was known for making his classroom hyper-competitive, which Kurtis thrived on and Josh hated. They were the highest two averages, thus the seating positions. Sometimes Kurtis and Josh switched chairs at the beginning of a week, but they always occupied the first two seats. Three other students sat to Kurtis’s right, but there was an empty seat at the end of the row, because there were only five A’s in the honors class. The rest of Ramos’ tough math section were B’s and C’s.

“Wastes paper. Besides, it’s all up here,” Josh said, tapping his temple with his pencil eraser. “I can recreate that dragon whenever I want. Worst case? I improve on it next time I draw it.”

“You got a real unique view of the universe, Sheep.”

Kurtis and Josh met in preschool, and were virtually inseparable despite their rather significant personality differences. Kurtis was outgoing and popular. Josh kept to himself, mostly. Kurtis was an athlete. Josh was an artist. They were both quite bright, though, and because of their congruent academic talent, they made fast and lasting friends.

“Who’s the new kid?” Josh asked, still unable to see anything around Mr. Ramos but a pair of skinny, denim-clad legs and blue Chuck Taylor sneakers.

“Dunno.”

Jessica Fielding stood staring at the floor, feeling all the eyes in room trying to see through Mr. Ramos to get a good look at her. She usually didn’t register anyone looking at her, but couldn’t be immune to it in an enclosed space where everyone was. She stayed behind her new math teacher and tried to slow her breathing. She felt anxious, and knew she had to calm herself before anyone asked her to speak, or she was sure she wouldn’t make any friends. She’d go too fast. She’d stutter. She’d end up in the same boat she was at her old school. Jessie liked herself, awkward dorkiness and all, but she expected it to be difficult starting over finding other people that she felt comfortable around; that would be comfortable around her. She knew she was an acquired taste. Her own mother had told her so repeatedly. And the kids at her old school, especially the girls, ostracized her for it.

Jess had been part of a select gifted program there; herself and four other students, all boys. She was already inclined to like ‘boyish’ things, and those interests naturally developed and blossomed spending most of her time with only boys. She didn’t like wearing dresses or playing with dolls as a little girl; she liked wearing sneakers and overalls and watching sports and learning how machines worked. She didn’t draw pictures of horses and rainbows and princesses; she drew knights and dragons (but still rainbows). In the first grade, she’d had her hair cut short like Mary Lou Retton. This, added to being part of that program where she was removed from ‘regular’ class for a large section of the school day to be the only girl in a group of boys, triggered the girls in her class to start callingher a boy. Instead of Jess, they called her ‘Jeff.’ That name stuck even after she’d grown her hair back out long. ‘Jeff’ lasted all the way into early seventh grade when she’d left. She didn’t miss her old school at all, but being in a new place made her nervous in equal measure to relieved. She couldn’t help fretting that this new place could be worse.

“Shepard? Richardson? First row? Move on down a seat,” Mr. Ramos said. Kurtis and Josh looked at each other and stacked up their books to move over, already impressed that whoever the new kid was had unseated them in spots one and two.

“Smart new kid,” Kurtis whispered. They took their new desks as a tiny, red-haired girl sat in the far left front row seat. They both smiled at her. She smiled back, but it was an obviously uneasy smile.

“S-sorry.” She apologized for uprooting them on her behalf, and pretty much existing in her current form. She put her head down on the desk, fevered that she’d stammered even just that one word already.

“Not ‘sorry,’” Josh insisted. “You earned the top seat. I shouldn’t have drawn on it like it was mine before you came in,” he said, apologetic himself, still two minutes to the bell.

“You made the dragon?! That’s amazing,” she said clearly, smiling wider now.

“You...can still see that dragon? I thought I...” Josh stared hard at the spot on the desk where he’d drawn, unable to see any residual lines, then at his dark gray thumb.

“Yeah. I’m um...good at that. S-sorry,” she said again.

“Don’t be sorry for what you’re good at. Be proud of it,” Kurtis said. “Whatcher name?”

“Like you’re ever gonna call her by her name...” Josh laughed. This sentence made Jessica panic, wondering what it meant, but she answered him anyway.

“J-Jessica.”

“Ok, J-Jessica. Imma just call you ‘J.’ I’m K. Ramos is gonna say ‘Kurtis Richardson’ on the roll inna second, but I’m K. Yeah?” He nodded at her, his already friendly smile becoming friendlier. She already reminded him of Josh. He’d reacted the same backward, halting way when they’d met as four-year-olds.

“Okay. K. And then you’re…?” she bashfully addressed Josh.

“That’s Sheepherder,” K answered over Josh.

“What?” Jessie said, totally confused.

Josh and Kurtis both chuckled that she seemed to not understand it was a nickname. “I’m Josh. Shepard. Shepard. Y’know? Shepherd’s a sheepherder?”

“Oh. R-right.” Her face turned red, feeling silly and stupid that she took Kurtis so literally.

The bell rang, and Josh leaned over to inform Jessica, “Y’know, K is likely to change up your nickname once he knows you better. Just a warning. I’ll be surprised if just ‘J’ sticks long term.”

“Oh. Well, that’s okay. I mean, y-you guys um...you can call me w-whatever. I don’t care. Long as it’s not mean. Y’know? Like...not mean stuff.”

“K would never ever give somebody a mean nickname. Unless the person was actually mean.”

“That’s enough, Mr. Shepard. Class is up here now,” Mr. Ramos said, knocking the chalkboard with his elbow. “Ok, radicals and exponents...”

“Seriously, Jess...Jess ok?” Josh asked, not much caring if Mr. Ramos called him out again. He wanted to put her at ease; which is the other reason Kurtis called him ‘Sheepherder.’ ‘You’re a real ‘go get the lost lambs’ kinda guy, Sheep.’ Jess nodded, her eyes darting from Josh to Mr. Ramos frantically, fearful he’d get in trouble for her. “We’re gonna be friends. No mean stuff. I promise.” Josh smiled at her, and she felt more comfortable than she’d ever felt at her old school. Josh didn’t make fun of the anxious stutter or her red hair or her perfect math score. And he liked to draw things, just like her. And Kurtis had already given her a nickname. Not Jeff. A nice one. That’s what friends did. She visibly relaxed, and paid attention to the lesson in front of her, even though she’d already gone over radicals and exponents weeks ago in her previous pre-algebra class.

***

“So...tell me ‘bout yerself,” K kindly demanded as he set his tray of square cheese pizza, carrots, corn, and chocolate milk next to Jessica’s. He planted his feet firmly on the floor, turned toward her, engaging in direct eye contact with a goofy grin on his face, and rested his chin in his hand, giving her comical but clearly undivided attention.

“Can you maybe turn the volume down?” Josh said. Kurtis was the stand-out in this new group of three they’d formed, and Josh wanted to keep it a group of three. He loved K, but sometimes, he wanted the opinion of someone more like him; another obvious introvert. He didn’t want K’s ostentatious manner to frighten her away. But he shouldn’t have been so concerned. Jessica was giggling.

“No, don’t,” she laughed. “I like you loud.” Kurtis looked across the table at Josh, his expression saying, ‘How ‘bout that then?’ Josh thought for a moment K might actually stick out his tongue. “Um...I don’t know what to say,” Jess offered.

“Why’d you move here mid-year?” K asked.

“Moved to a bigger house ‘cause...um...baby brother on the way,” she said.

“Yeah? How many brothers and sisters do you have? I have a brother and a sister,” Kurtis informed her. “Big brother, little sister. George and Aisha.”

“Just the baby brother on the way.” She shrugged.

“You’re almost an only child. Were one for a long time. No wonder you’re just like Sheep.”

“No siblings?” she asked her counterpart as he drank his milk directly from the carton without a straw.

“Nope. Just me and my mom.” Josh quickly turned the subject back to Kurtis’s family, because he didn’t want to discuss his own. “George is in high school this year. Aisha’s a fifth grader.”

“Cool,” Jessica said, nodding at Kurtis.

“New baby’s pretty cool,” Kurtis said. “You’ll be able to really teach him stuff and not fight with him. You miss your old friends?”

“What old friends?” she said, shrugging again. Kurtis and Josh looked at each other and made a wordless pact that she’d never say that sentence again. They’d become her old friends.