#dc comics tw

[ashoss]

patrol is fun :DD

[frownyalfred]

It actually makes a lot of sense that Bruce was one of the few people left standing in the crowd at Haly’s Circus when Dick’s parents died.

Watching two innocent people plummet to their deaths is gruesome. It’s shocking. It can be horribly traumatic, depending on the blunt force trauma of hitting the ground. They might not have died right away. They might have bled and made awful noises that were heard even above the sounds of the crowd.

But Bruce is Batman. Bruce saw his parents get murdered right in front of him. And he knows the sounds and sights of someone dying. He’s hardened himself to stay calm in a situation like that, both through trauma and practice.

I think the image of a young Dick Grayson making eye contact with the one unshaken person in the crowd is chilling. A man standing resolute when everyone else is screaming, sadness etched across his face. But not panic. Not confusion. Resignation, maybe.

[secretidentie]

Tim for literally no reason: Hey Jason do yk where I can get some cocaine

Jason: Why tf do you need cocaine

Tim: I'm a teenage CEO why tf do you think I need cocaine

Jason: Fair enough. But I'm still not selling you cocaine

Tim: Why not? I just want to hang out with the other young finance bros

Jason: Hey dick head, tell your brother I'm not giving him cocaine

Dick: Tim are you okay? do you want to talk about this??

Tim: Uhg I'm fine. You're the one ones who said I should stop drinking coffee

Jason: and you thought this was a good alternative???

Tim: Come on I'll only do a little

Dick: Is this coz we spoiled the ending of wolf of Wallstreet

Tim: Why can't I just have some? You do!

Jason: No I don't

Tim: You're a crime lord

Dick: Yeah isn't it like part of the job

Jason: WHAT NO Stereotype much. I've never even seen cocaine up close

Tim: YOU'RE A CRIME LORD

Jason: Yeah not a drug dealer THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

Tim: I should have known your not cool enough to have drug dealer connections

Jason: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA BUY A FUCK TON OF COCAINE AND DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU JUST TO RUB IT IN

Dick: Woah woah that's enough both of you. No one in this house is doing drugs. If anyone talks about cocaine again I'll tell Bruce you said you want to start a new crack epidemic. He'll make you sit in at strangers AA meetings and read through old case files of ex dealers and their autopsies. Don't. TEST. me.

Tim: ............

Jason: ............

Tim: Can you sell me meth?

[ashrayus]

get lazarused king!! (so i can draw your hair fully white)

[rhinexstone]

My fav version of poison ivys power origin story is a lá Thorns (medically tortured as a kid) and when she learns about a literal child following batman around she FREAKS OUT.

Ivy gets batman alone then serves him a total curveball: she wants to vaccinate Robin from most of her toxins. Bruce thinks it’s a trap until word on the street is that Scarecrow and joker had multiple poisons stolen. He confronts ivy and she admits to stealing them but it’s for the proposed vaccine for Robin.

The rules are that he’s not allowed any samples of the vaccine, and Robin stays with her for three hours for the vaccine to fully absorb into his system. Batman can stay with him, but only in the same room as she might need to use lab equipment.

So every Robin gets the very odd experience of having their biannual vaccine from Dr. Poison Ivy, where they are all on their best behavior and get biodegradable stickers while Bruce just very patiently sits next to them like >:| with one of those temperature guns aimed at their heads

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[itsdabatt]

Tim Drake: The Opportunist

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

as misery loves orphans

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

this is what I'm getting from the DC fandom right now

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce’s Favorite Batkid…according to the Batkids (aka the most biased narrators possible):

Dick: “Well, Bruce adopted Jason first, and hit me over his death, so Jason, obviously.”

Tim: “Bruce nearly killed people and himself over Jason’s death…he just used me as a guilt trip.”

Jason: “Uh, the Golden Boy, obviously. *cough* KGBeast *cough*”

Steph: “I mean, he only revived one of us…so it’s gotta be Damian, right?”

Duke: “Can you guys stop competing over whose death he reacted the worst to? Anyway Barbara’s so useful with the tech and also kinda scary, so it’s gotta be her.”

Damian: “Drake is most similar to Father and inherits his company. He is clearly in the favored position.”

Barbara: “He remembers literally every problem you guys have caused; Duke just hasn’t had the chance to cause as many problems yet. No offense, Duke.”

Cass: “Me. He thinks…I am him. He is wrong.”

No one thinks Steph is the favorite.

[missingnightwingsmullet]

white streaked jason todd 🤍🖤

[frownyalfred]

a random socialite at a fundraiser: you know Bruce, that boy of yours is getting to be a little too pretty. heh.

Bruce Wayne, who was also "too pretty" at fourteen and is absolutely ready to castrate anyone who even looks at Dick directly: oh?

[foolnamedjoey]

To be one of violence.

[radioactivespiderblood]

Damian Wayne ∣ Robin: *exists*

Jason Todd ∣ Red Hood: He's so cute, I used to change his diapers ya know? *ruffles Robin's hair*

Henchpeople: *laughing*

Damian, annoyed: I liked you better when you were an invalid.

Jason: *is sad*

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[not-another-robin]

I think Bruce was a chip off the ol block