#dissociative disorders are neurodivergencies

[fictionkinfessions]

A long (I apologize for the length) response to https://www.tumblr.com/fictionkinfessions/748773698635513856/ive-seen-enough-asks-on-here-about-the-topic-so?source=share

Aka "get therapy systems" anon.

1) Please don't tell us what to do. Some of us are already in therapy. Some of us have trauma surrounding therapy. Sure it's not normal... FOR YOU. That's dangerous and abelist thinking. It's comparable to saying neruodivergent people need to be in corrective therapy because they're "not normal." (Which is a disgusting thought process! And we here are already in therapy!)

2) We can kin whomever we want and have as many kins as we want. For copinglinks, there might be a plethora of characters helping cope with things in life. For systems, we all have our own exposure to media at varying levels. And for spiritual kin, time is not linear and someone can have infinite number of kins. But we have more important topics to touch on and I'd be happy to get into that later.

3) How would you like it if we told YOU to get therapy? Because coming into a safe space for people who ARE systems and HAVE many kins, seems insane to us here in this system.

4) You're correct in the fact that ADHD, Autism and CPTSD can cause dissociative episodes but guess what? DID and OSDD are caused by repetitive traumatic experience in childhood. Which did you know? Being neurdodivergent and not getting your needs met due to lack of communication/understand and overstimulation (amongst other various factors) can be considered traumatic? Especially to children? It sounds like you've done BARE BONES research into dissociative disorders and have made assumptions based on research into neurodivergency. (And we are a nerurodivergent system so we've had to pay attention to the differences and sort things out in therapy!)

5) Final note from a system (THAT'S OVER 30 BTW), don't ever get upset over systems with over 100 alters because that system might just have a low split tolerance or has experienced a lot of different traumatic events and need a lot of extra support.

SO TLDR; instead of coming into a safe space and being an asshole, show compassion to people who have clearly GONE THROUGH IT. Kindness and understanding helps heal more than harsh words. I hope you have a lovely day and learn a lot more that will help open your mind further in the future.

x

[worms-in-my-brain]

People with psychotic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with personality disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with substance abuse disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with tic disorders are neurodivergent too.

People with bipolar disorder are neurodivergent too.

People with dissociative disorders are neurodivergent too.

Neurodivergence isn’t just ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression. (Plus those last two also get left out sometimes!) Neurodivergence is anything that affects your brain.

“Neurodivergent people hate loud noises” is actually just as valid as a statement as “neurodivergent people have delusions,” “neurodivergent people have tics,” or even “neurodivergent people have low empathy.”

[the-toybox-sys]

reading the symptoms of autism as a now grown adult after being bullied for no explainable reason all your life

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[madpunks]

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

[midnightmothnest]

if you can’t eat a whole meal, eat half. you ate, that’s what is important.

if you can’t get out of bed, try and sit up instead of lying down. it’ll be better for your back and your blood pressure.

if you can’t shower or have a bath today, try and brush your teeth and clean your ears. it’ll keep you a little cleaner, and we often forget those areas. 

if you can’t get dressed today, change underwear and use some deoderant. it’ll leave you a little fresher until you have the strength to change fully.

and remember, i’m very proud of you. your best will look different every day, and that’s okay.

[met4lwhore]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[c-0-yote-teeth]

When you tell them you have ADHD and autism and they say that's fine but then they find out it's not cutesy collecting hello Kitty and bouncy stimming autism and oopsie I can't pay attention ADHD,

its I can't go in the grocery store I can't vacuum I can't do dishes because of the sensory overload

it's we can go eat at a restaurant but as soon as I start getting overwhelmed I'm going to shut down completely and dissociate but tell you I'm fine

It's please snuggle me but I have to keep my headphones on because hearing is too much right now

It's thank you this new shirtjacketbraceletnecklace you bought me is amazing and I love it but I can't wear it because it feels weird

It's I love you but sometimes your voice is too much noise and I can't look into your eyes

It's I need you near me but please don't touch me or talk or breathe too loud or cough because my brain feels like it's about to explode

It's I'm sorry I forgot you asked me to do the dishes but I know when your entire family's birthdays are and will never forget them

It's I meant to cook dinner four hours ago but I got lost in my brain and I just found my way back out and realized it's already 10pm

[genderqueerdykes]

honestly one of the funniest parts of the internet is total strangers actually, seriously try to un-diagnose you. like i have literally been diagnosed with schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder numerous times by multiple psychiatric professionals, but 1 guy on the internet decides he's suddenly a mental health professional who can assess a total stranger via their blog. how do you not see how funny that is, like my brother in christ you can't even see me

[schizopositivity]

[semi-precious-stoner]

a "horror" movie where the main character had DID/OSDD and they’re possessed by a demon but didn’t realize because the system just thinks there’s a new alter

[reimeichan]

Stop trying to get a good grade in therapy!!!! What you need to do is get a BAD grade in therapy so that your therapist can see how fucked up you are and get you the care you need!!!

[system-of-a-feather]

BTW if you think calming corners, sensory rooms, and other forms of dedicated spaces to handling overload, anxiety, or intense emotions in your house is something only for kids - or even worse - only neurodivergent kids, you are largely denying yourself a very helpful resource based on social norms.

Having a space dedicated to being safe and with easy access to things to help lower overstimulation and calm intense internal experiences is something that everyone can benefit from having

Not just kids

Not just neurodivergent kids

Not just neurodivergent adults

Not just mentally ill adults

Everyone - even the hypothetical person with no mental illness or physical disability

There is nothing "immature" about having spaces organized to make your difficult times easier to handle and I think everyone should consider dedicating maybe even just a shelf or corner in their place to having an abundance of self care resources

Self care is not a limited resource and not something that you have to be "bad enough to have"

If you think its a good thing for parents to provide their kids with rooms / spaces dedicated to different ways they can self regulate, then you should agree that if you are also dealing with any levels of difficulty self regulating, that it should be a good idea and good thing to provide yourslef with rooms / spaces dedicated to ways to help you self regulate

Children and adults both have emotions and life experiences that are hard to regulate / handle and both need ways to relax and calm down

Self care, sensory rooms, and coping / calming corners are resources that can help both children and adults with those difficult moments

[zenithsys]

Do you feel, like, constantly overwhelmed? Unable to focus on tasks and self-care like showering? Have I got the tip for you

I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.

You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.

But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.

"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."

For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.

This stupidly simple journaling technique (which doesn't even feel like journalling to me) has caused me to go from being chronically overwhelmed to feeling like, even just for a little bit, everything is going to be okay.

[madpunks]

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".