#i like when spice does dog stuff

[hoofpeet]

Playing fetch with the least dog-like dog ever

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Hear me out.....pretty...pretty Please, some general fluff headcannons for 141 and Konig?! I'm desperate for some fluff. Stuff like how soft they r how they r at home, kisses that sort of thing? Id die of happiness if u did!!!!!?????

141 + König General Fluff Headcannons

Warnings: fluff🩷, mild NSFW references

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Simon Ghost Riley-

It takes him a while to open up to you, but once he does? He's yours forever.

He is more of a listener than a talker, and he is damn good at listening

You always have to be within his line of sight. He always wants to make sure you're safe.

Definitely gets up before you in the mornings and loves to wake you up with coffee

Not big on PDA, but he doesn't mind holding your hand out in public.

Doesn't say I love you often, but when he does, it turns your whole world on an axis

Says no to a getting a dog at first, but when you finally get him to say yes? The dog is that man's best friend.

He's not a very good cook when you first get together, but he teaches himself in secret one year to surprise you on your birthday by making you your favorite meal. (Your heart nearly melted at the proud smile on his face when he told you he made it)

This man is loyal as hell. You will NEVER catch him looking anyway at anyone the way he looks at you. No person's beauty in his mind will ever compare to yours

Loves going for long car rides with you. Weekend trips, day trips, whatever works for him. Will ALWAYS have his hand resting on your thigh

He developed a ritual with you, where he will wear one of his hoodies for a few days straight so it smells like him when he goes on deployments

Secretly loves when you wear his dog tags. It's a kink of his he won't voice out loud

Loves to spoon you in bed. Very rarely will he not be holding you, or touching you in some way when he sleeps

Takes him a while, but he'll start to look forward to holidays with your family. They welcome him with open arms, and for the first time in a long time, Simon feels like he has a true family who loves him

John Price-

Loves to hear about your day. First thing he asks you when you come home after work is how was your day? And this man GENUINELY listens

Loves to spoil you. Man gives inadvertent sugar daddy vibes. You even hint at something you like or want? He will get it for you

Huge on spontaneous dinner dates. Loves to come home randomly and tell you he's taking you for a night out

Literally has the hardest time saying no to you. For ANYTHING.

He tries to act all tough, but this man is so whipped for you

Loves when you rest your feet in his lap on the couch, as he loves to massage them for you after a long day

Fight me, but this man loves to take baths with you. He loves to relax in the hot water, with you against his chest. He can literally fall asleep like this

Always insists on paying when you go out to eat. Never, ever let's you foot the bill (if you pout enough, he may let you, but will feel bad about it afterward)

Will watch any TV show you want. He says he hates romantic dramas, but he's just as invested as you are

Kisses with him are always longing, and always want you leaving more

Man is a Valentines Day legend. Flowers, chocolates, jewelry, fancy dinners THE WORKS

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

An amazingly fun boyfriend to have.

Johnny always wants to do something fun, go somewhere fun

He's surprisingly amazing at giving massages

Doesn't mind PDA, he'll randomly kiss you in public, hug you, and hold you close. He doesn't care who sees.

Loves to try new things. Whether it's food, movies, or something to spice up the bedroom, the man will never say no to trying something at least once

Not a morning person, and he will have an iron tight grip on you in an attempt to force you to stay in bed longer with him every morning (he always ends up succeeding)

His ideal date with you is a pub. Something with good food, good beer, and even better company.

Loves to "mislead" you about when he's coming home from a mission, because he absolutely adores the look on your face when he surprises you earlier than expected

Adores double dates. Loves to hang out with couple friends.

When you're walking on a sidewalk, he'll always push you on the inside so you're away from the cars

Definitely is that boyfriend that will send you a dozen tik tok reels a day

Please go to an amusement park with him. He'd be so happy winning the various carnival games for you, getting you any stuffed animal of your choosing

You two cannot do surprises for one another. You get too excited and end up telling each other gifts or surprises the minute you plan them

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

This man loves to surprise you with flowers. Had a bad day? Flowers. Wants you to feel a little extra loved? Flowers. Thought you looked cute one day? Flowers.

Loves to go to furniture stores with you. Even if you don't actually need it, the two of you can spend hours looking around at various stores

Enjoys cooking for you. He's one to try new recipes, and loves seeing your reactions to them.

Firmly believe this man loves to dress up as a couple and that Halloween is his absolute favorite holiday.

Adorably loves to have a "chore" day once a week with you, where you both do house chores together for a few hours, while each of you gets to pick what song plays in the background

So supportive of any hobby you might have. Like to paint? He'll continuously buy you paint brushes. Love video games? He'll buy you any new one that comes out he'd think you'd enjoy.

Whenever you guys go out, he always orders something you like for his meal, in case you don't like yours

If you have longer hair, he loves to play with it and help you style it

Best movie buddy ever. He LOVES going to the movies with you, and will get you all the popcorn and snacks you desire

Will hold your bags for you while you shop, and will fight you if you try to carry your own

König-

Possibly the sweetest boyfriend out of all of them

You will catch him staring at you ALL the time. Any second he gets, he will be looking at you

Loves date night ins. Cooking together or getting takeout and cuddling on the couch together while watching a movie? This man'll be in heaven

Loves to offer you his arm in public. Plays into his size kink when your small hand wraps around his bicep whenever you walk anywhere.

Man will WORSHIP you in bed. Wants nothing more than to make you happy in every aspect of your life.

Is more of a cat person than a dog person, so you two end up getting quite a few kitties around the house

Always kisses you like you're delicate. Loves to place gentle, loving kisses to your lips when you least except it, and his cheeks always flush a deep pink when he does

Will always shower with you. When he's home from missions you very, very rarely shower alone. Loves to help you shampoo your hair

Adores ADORRESSS when you wear his clothes. Triggers the man's size kink like no other when his shirts are like dresses on you

Amazing at aftercare. Always wants to make sure you're satisfied. Will warm a towel for you, get your water-whatever you need.

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[libraryofloveletters]

chapter seven: what's the worst that can happen?

Sebastian Vettel x Fem!Reader

Warnings: babysitting/playdate uncle mickey for the girls, a sweet mention of michael <3, seb is sooo love sick, < mick thinks it's hilarious, fun date stuff, some kissing because seb is loving on his lady, mick teasing the two of you, a few cheeky comments, illusions to 18+ stuff at the end ;)

Word Count: 2.7k

Author’s Note: finally giving y'all wanted to see; the y/n and seb date! there's a fun lil surprise at the end for you freaky fuckers ;) enjoy it :)

sugar and spice; all things nice masterlist

---

"Which one?" Sebastian asks, the one hanger in each hand.

Mick looks up from his phone, finding Sebastian in front of him extremely serious about which shirt he should be wearing on his date with y/n. "Oh Seb," the younger German laughs, "you're nervous!"

"I am not!" He groans, rolling his eyes at Mick's teasing - he was sooo nervous. "Just help me pick a shirt, Mick."

"You're like a teenager with a crush," he smiles, making Sebastian groan once again but he nods towards the baby blue button up. "That one."

"You're a pain in the ass, Mick." Sebastian tells him as he hangs the white shirt back in the closet.

Mick shrugs, making himself comfortable on Seb's bed. "Just doing what dad would do." He says, both of them sharing a smile at the thought of Michael; he would have definitely teased Sebastian about his nervousness, but he would have been the first person to support whatever this was between him and y/n.

The thought is pulled away when they hear the little footsteps coming towards the room, Milly pushing the door open as she flings herself into her uncle's arms. Mick catches the girl, hugging her before he pulls her up onto the bed with him.

Sebastian smiles at the sight of them; Mick's holding the girl, Amelia sitting on his lap as she tells him all about the stuff she has planned for her, Olivia and Mick to do.

Had you told him when he met Michael all those years ago, as a young RedBull driver, that his daughter and Michael's son would be like siblings, he would have never believed you.

The doorbell rings and the girl jumps off of the bed, pulling Mick behind her. The man follows her without much of a choice.

"That's Liv! C'mon uncle Mick!" She shouts, running out the room with Mick right behind her. The two of them make it downstairs, Angie pawing at the front door while barking. Mick opens the door, the little girl runs in and hugs his legs.

"Hi Mickey!" She smiles at him and he smiles, reaching down to pinch her chunky cheek.

"Hi sweetheart, come in." He steps aside, scooting Angie back a bit so they had space to come in.

Angie was licking Liv's hand, Milly making the introduction between her best friend and her fur friend. The two girls run off towards the living room after Milly waves hello to you and Mick shuts the door behind you.

He smiles when he sees you, "wow.. you look beautiful."

"Thank you, Mick." You smiled. Angie was running up to you, standing on her back legs as she put her paws on your thighs, barking for some attention.

"Angie! Down!" Mick wags a finger at her and she does drop back down but she barks at him, giving him a look that you can only assume was for ruining her fun. You laugh, kneeling down to pat her side. "Hi pretty girl, dad's no fun huh?" You made a face at her, the dog nuzzling into your arm as you scratched her belly.

"You're spoiling her," Mick laughs when you stand up, Angie running off when Milly calls for her.

"She's adorable. Is Seb ready?"

There are footsteps from your left, you both look towards the stairs where Seb was coming down. "I am."

Mick can't help but laugh; "you know you're supposed to be picking y/n up. This should be the other way around."

You smiled at the boy's comment and Sebastian rolled his eyes, coming down to kiss your cheek. "We're not a very traditional couple, Mick."

Seb takes a moment to admire you; a red top that fit you perfectly and was just low cut enough to leave him wanting more, jeans that were made for you and only you; he resisted the urge to grab your ass in front of Mick - don't want to traumatize the man that's babysitting your children.

"You look.. wow." He smiles, making you chuckle. "You look pretty wow yourself."

"God, this is like watching my parents flirt," Mick gags, walking into the living room.

Seb takes that as his chance; his arm wrapping around your waist to pull you flush against him, hand slipping down to rest on your ass when he kisses you.

"Behave," you mumble, wiping the lipgloss off of his lips. He rolls his eyes playfully, "says you."

The girls were playing with Angie on the floor, Mick stretched out on the couch with the TV playing; very big brother, little sisters coded of them.

"We're heading out now." Sebastian announces and the girls come over, hugging you both goodbye. You give them both a kiss on the cheek, making them promise not to give Mick a hard time while Seb was off to the side talking to previously mentioned man.

"So do I get one of those too?" Mick asks when Seb finally lets him go.

Your brows furrow but Mick glances at the girls but turning his face to the side and leaning towards you. Laughing, you kiss his cheek and leave a red kiss shaped mark on his cheek as you had done with the girls.

Sebastian holds your hand, leading you out of the house before you get a chance to change your mind.

You shout on the way out of the door. "Have fun, you guys! Call if you need us!"

The two of you ended up taking Seb's car - he didn't let you drive, claiming that you driving over was all the driving you'd be doing for the night. Sebastian had planned the date, you had no idea where the two of you were going, or if you were even dressed for the right occasion.

So when he pulled up to the parking lot and the neon sign read mini golf, you looked over at him a bit confused. "Are you serious?" You can't help the laugh.

Sebastian shrugs, "Mick suggested it."

"No wonder," you chuckled, getting out of the car. Seb's cheeks are red, his hand resting on your lower back as you two walk towards the front door. "We can leave.. I can think of something-"

"Relax," you reach for his arm, giving it a squeeze. "It's an odd choice but, I'm sure we'll have fun."

"Okay," he nods, exhaling as he opens the door for you. "I haven't been on a date in a long time.. so I'm a little out of practice." The man admits his thoughts and feelings to you and yet there you were making a joke; "Right, I forget you're 800 years old."

Sebastian rolls his eyes. His hand that previously rested on your back reaches over to pinch your hip teasingly, making you smile. You often tease bit about him acting older than he actually is; a lot of the things that you tell him or show him, he doesn't even have a clue about.

Despite the two of you only having a five year age gap, Seb was an old soul in comparison to you.

Not that you minded, you appreciated the stability that he brought into your life as well as Olivia's.

"But don't worry, me either." You tell him, referring to his dating comment. "At least not a good one, anyways."

"So you're certain this one will be good?" he raises a brow, making you laugh yet again as you two walked in.

You nod, smiling at the man. "I think so."

The two of you decide to play a few rounds, making it around the course. It wasn't until you made it to the last hole that the two of you decided that you wouldn't be playing another round.

"Go on," he tells you, letting you hit the ball into the hole. It misses the hole by an inch and you watch as Seb purposefully misses his shot as well.

You line your club up with the ball. "You didn't have to do that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He smiles, clapping for you when you get the ball into the final hole, you take a small bow and hand him your club.

His hand rests on your lower back yet again, leading you towards the exit. "Shall we get out of here?" He asks and you nod. "Where to?"

Sebastian, a gentlemen as always, opens the door for you to get into the car. "I know a place," he tells you before shutting the door and getting in.

It was about an hour drive away. The two of you chatting away as Sebastian drives down a lonely road that leads to what seems like the middle of nowhere. You look over at the man, a bit confused before turning to look out of the window yet again.

There's a big blue sign coming up to your left that reads; drive in movies.

You smile, turning back to Seb as he drives through the gate. "What are we watching?"

"I believe they have the cabin in the woods running tonight." He tells you, pulling into a spot towards the back. It was fairly empty so you could still see the big projector screen.

"You know," you start as you two get out of the car, meeting by the side to walk towards the snack booth. "I hate scary movies."

Seb's arm links with yours, pulling you into your side. "I'll protect you," he says, a goofy grin on his face as he raises his eyebrows.

You roll your eyes, laughing as you two pick out some snacks.

The two of you return to the car, settling into your seats as the movie begins. It's gotten about 30 minutes into the movie before the first scary thing happens, causing you to jump in your seat and spill popcorn everywhere.

Sebastian looks away, his hand over his mouth as he snickers and you can't help but laugh, your hand reaching out to smack his shoulder. "It's not funny!"

"It kinda is," he chuckled, leaning over to give you a kiss.

The popcorn is long forgotten, Sebastian's hand resting on your jaw as he kisses you. Your own hand wraps around his wrist, pulling him closer. Leaning over the centre console, Seb's hands begin to wander, his lips traveling from your lips to your jaw, down to your neck.

Your cheeks flush red when you realize you're still in public, anyone can look over and see you. "Seb," you whispered, the man mumbles against your neck, moving further down.

A hand holds his chin, forcing him to stop and look up at you. "What?"

"Not here," you smiled at him, giving him one more kiss before wiping the lipgloss off of his face.

It made you smile; at your grown age, he still made you blush and giggle like a teenage girl.

It was nearly 10:30 when the movie ended and Sebastian asked you if you'd like to get dinner. You nod, "but will Mick be okay with the girls?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. We can call if you'd like?"

"Please," you smiled and Sebastian pulled his phone out and called Mick, the two of you watching and waiting to see if they'd pick up.

"Hey," Mick smiles when he answers, sitting on the couch. "Hey," the two of you say at the same time, making you laugh.

"Girls!" Mick calls out to them, knowing that's who you wanted to talk to. Milly and Liv come running in, Angie running behind them as they climb onto the couch with Mick.

The two of them shout hello, overlapping each other as they tell you how much fun they're having with Mick. Liv holds his hand up, "mom look!"

Mick had blue and purple nail polish all over his nails. The man bites back a smile, Milly giggles. "He let us do whatever colour we wanted!"

"That's nice, girls. We're gonna be out a bit longer, will you guys be okay with Mick?"

"Yeah!" They say together, making you smile. Seb tells them to listen to Mick and that when he says it's bedtime, they've got to go to bed. They agree and run off to play again, leaving Mick with the phone.

"Soooo.." he smiles when he gets the phone back, "how's it going?"

"Good," you tell him, "we'll be out a bit later though, you're sure you'll be okay with the girls?"

"Absolutely, I'll put them to bed. You two take as long as you need." He says and you smile when you thank him. You hand the phone back over to Seb and the younger German laughs when he sees his friend.

"Why have you got sparkles on your face, Sebastian?" He asks, a smirk on his face.

Seb rolls his eyes, "shut up, Mick."

Mick can hear your snicker from behind Seb, making him laugh. "Gross you guys. Okay bye, have fun.. but not too much fun!" He says in a fit of laughter when Seb hangs up on him.

"Where to now?" You looked over at him and Seb shrugged. "Dinner?" He suggests and you nod, "but what's open? Most places close at 10."

"I think I saw a diner, unless you want McDonalds or something?"

You hum, taking a moment to think. "Either is fine with me," you smiled.

The man nods, pulling out of the lot. You two end up in the parking lot of the diner only to realize they were closed. It wasn't until you were almost back home that Sebastian pulls into a McDonald's, the only place that was open at this time of the night. You aren't sure since when restaurants close at 10pm on a Friday, but you went along with it anyways.

A brown paper bag sat on the middle console as the two of you ate chicken nuggets, at midnight, in some sketchy McDonald's parking lot.

"You didn't actually say that," you look over at him, taking a bite of your nugget. Seb nods, "I did; I was racing, I was faster, I passed him, I won." The man shrugs, a wicked grin on his face.

You roll your eyes, "you were so cocky."

"If only we had met sooner," he says, leaning back in his seat, head turning to look at you. "I would have charmed the panties off of you."

You snorted, smacking his arm. "You can still do that now, Seb."

He smiles, his head reaching over for yours. Seb's fingers interlock with yours. "Shall we go home?" He asks.

"Will Mick be okay with the girls for a bit longer? I was thinking.. we could, you know.. go back to mine."

"Yeah?" Seb raises an eyebrow, "what for?"

You shrug, smiling at him. Seb gets the hint; "I'm sure he'll be fine. Shall we?" You nod, smiling. "You're the driver, so please."

It's a short drive back to yours and Sebastian follows you inside, his hand holding yours as you walk in. He stopped in the entryway, you were up the first two steps.

"What?" You look at him and he shakes his head, smiling as he follows behind you. You make it up the staircase, stopping again outside of your bedroom and Seb looks at you.

You weren't sure if you were making the right choice; you wouldn't be able to go back if you did this.

"Are you sure?" You asked him quietly and Seb nods, his hand cupping your jaw before he leans in. HIs lips ghost over yours, "I've never been more sure in my life."

Sebastian closes the gap between the two of you, your hand fumbling behind you to open the door. The two of you are tangled together, hands all over each other, lips moving from one spot to the other as you stumbled to the bed.

He lets you get on before joining you, moving to settle between your legs before kissing you again. One by one, the clothes end up on the floor in the pile.

"You're sure?" Sebastian looks down at you, your leg on his hip.

You nod, pulling him down for another kiss. "I've never been more sure."

--

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[konigsblog]

Hi! This is my first time asking something :D 

Do you do anything, not nsfw? And if so, what would some random könig headcanons you agree with? Like habits and stuff you’d think he’d do? (does that make sense lmao)

If you just do nsfw you could make them nsfw headcanons.. Or just combine both aha

**HII.. i do write for sfw and fluff, as well as angst it's just not really requested as much as smut :) but here, hope you enjoy this!!! 🌙

silly könig headcannons

⭒ mentions of weed use, fluff.. 🌷🎀

⭒könig who prefers cats over dogs. they're quieter and calmer, has a ginger cat called ‘spice’ that's fiesty to new people. he loves the animal to death, and hands it to his oma when he's on deployment.

⭒i've mentioned this before, but i feel like könig was in a band as a kid, just a school one. he played the drums and was pretty emo in his teenager years...

⭒he sleeps in the weirdest positions. he'll either wake up with his body contorted into different ways, his arms above his head and across his chest with his legs intertwined with eachother.

⭒he's an easily jealous person, always top of his classes and getting 100% on his tests. his mother always wanted the best outcome for her son, so she was shocked when he decided to join the kommando spezialkräfte instead of becoming a doctor or a lawyer.

⭒has 100% attempted to get up but fell because his legs were stuck and tangled in his bedsheets.

⭒gets second hand embarrassment far too easily. he's cringing on the inside when someone does/says something stupid.

⭒absolutely hates the summer. it's horrible; everybody's sweaty and stinks, missions make him want to peal his skin off. definitely prefers autumn/winter.

⭒his favourite food to eat whilst sick is soup, a special homemade soup him and his mother made together while growing up. her own special recipe that he only teaches to his closest of friends.

⭒loves late night conversations. they're so deep and understanding, chatting for hours 'til your jaw hurts and the sun his peaking through the curtains.

⭒either drinks black coffee, really bitter. or drinks the most sugary coffee ever, no in-between. (tell me your opinions)

⭒is a morning person. gets up early and has his breakfast, something quick and easy, like toast or porridge (oatmeal), has a morning shower 'nd everything. (i love adding salt to my porridge/oatmeal)

⭒hates when people say germany and austria are the same. will definitely have a whole rant about the differences 'til you understand fully.

⭒smokes weed a lot, pretty much an addict. he says it's to calm his nerves down but he gradually started doing it more and more often. a stoner fs.

⭒enjoys movies, a lot. he loves sitting down with a blanket beside him, covered in orange cat hair. will probably make a bowl of popcorn to eat whilst watching, but ends up eating it all before he's even 30 minutes in.

big, bear hugs. we all know that the big, brute and towering man gives amazing hugs, but he really wants to lay atop of you, to cage you with his warmth.

⭒has a tendency to over share, rants sometimes while pretending to be confident, finding anything to talk about before feeling a bit uncomfortable with what he'd said.

⭒isn't shy. it's my biggest pet peeve when people make könig out to be someone shy, scared, ect.. he's not shy, he's socially anxious, but that doesn't make him quiet. he either puts on a front and pretends to be confident with a cocky, loud personality.

⭒absolutely adores milk. he drinks like a gallon in two days, that's why he's 6’10.

⭒enjoys mint chocolate chip ice cream, hates strawberry, especially if they have chunks. (self projecting)

⭒enjoys doing the dishes, finds it satisfying. until he touches food and gags.

⭒avid banana hater, the texture to the taste, everything about it makes him feel ill.

⭒listens to music for hours, usually something rock or heavy metal, loud music in his ears and the loud explosions gives him some hearing damage.

⭒usually smells woodsy, fresh cut trees and vanilla.

⭒germaphobe. doesn't like being near people when they're sick and will avoid them, probably because he gets sick too easily, despite having a strong immune system.

⭒isn't a very emotional person, he has sympathy for others but can't express it through tears and emotions. he's cold and aggressive to the recruits, blaming them for his issues because he struggles taking blame and fault for situations and needs a punching bag.

⭒owned a fish when he was around 7, cried because it died. turns out it was alive and he saw it swim down the toilet. never got another fish again, traumatized.

⭒doesn't like being told he's in the wrong, will refuse and deny it 'til he's forced to either apologise or end the friendship.

⭒curly ginger, or wavy ginger, you can't change my mind.

⭒doesn't really understand tiktok that much, or instagram. not really something that he's interested in, but occasionally uses twitter for like 5 minutes.

⭒has anemia, or iron deficiency. takes a couple naps a day because he doesn't like taking his supplements.

these are all i could think off 😵‍💫 tell me your personal headcannons!!

banner credit; @cafekitsune

[konigsluvr]

Hey hey! I'd like to request König headcanons please. I was thinking more of his childhood but it can be anything really :D thanks x

Also I'm an Avatar fan too! Don't seem to know a lot of people who are into both #teamneteyam

Hey!! I looooove Avatar so much, I haven't been reading it much lately but 2 months ago I was on tumblr all day, everyday just reading various Avatar fics (best days of my life). I miss neteyam so much :(( I really hope this is to your liking<3 i have included some NSFW headcannons, but there will be a warning, if you are uncomfortable, just skip. Reposts are highly appreciated. I will literally marry you. And of course, here I present...

★ navigation ★ masterlist ★

König Headcanons

Includes: Childhood König. König x fem!reader. Fluff. Spice. Smut.

☆ As said in his biography, he has suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life. This probably started developing in maybe late childhood/early teens.

☆ I can picture him as the quiet kid in school. Had a couple chill friends that he was comfortable around and hung out with after school.

☆ I think König was average grade student (like me lmao), not bad grades but not super good either, he just did what he had to do at school.

☆ He liked helping around the house so he could contribute and help his parents save time.

☆ He applied to the military at 17, having a job that allows him to blow off steam would help with his anxiety sometimes but if it's a more dangerous mission than usual, his anxiety might peak but he could have coping mechanisms.

☆ Even though he is 6'10" and literally all muscle, he can't stay still. Due to his anxiety again, he is fidgety at times depending on the social situation he is in. Now this leads onto the relationship stuff.

☆ With him being fidgety, I feel his love language is physical touch. He can sometimes struggle with his words but you always know that he loves you when he cuddles you or does little things like playing with your hair or holding your hand whenever you are in public.

☆ König isn't the best at working with technology but you'll show him how he can text you and phone you, so whenever he has free time at base or whenever he isn't with you, expect him spamming you with texts because he misses you so much :((

☆ He has a gym at home for when he wants to work out but with him having such a physical job he doesn't feel the need to workout everyday, maybe 3 or 4 times a week when he's home with you but at base he'll do it more as its like the only thing to do there.

☆ He enjoys going on walks. When he's home with you he'll love going on a walk in the woods or just wondering around town with you, go shopping to get food for supper or something, he'll sneakily buy flowers to surprise you. At base, he sometimes can't sleep well so he'll just walk around for some fresh air to clear his mind.

☆ His down time with you would be watching your favourite show or a random movie. He would do it just to cuddle up or be with you but he will get invested. Like I watched the notebook last night and I was thinking about König crying as you watch the notebook together.

☆ Like you'll be watching the movie and a sad scene comes up, you are already crying and you hear a sniffle but it isn't from you. You turn to your left and see a tear rolling down Königs cheek. This will make you cry harder as you wipe away his tears and cuddle into his neck.

☆ With König having a high payed job, he has a lot of money that he doesn't know how to spend. Lucky him, he has you. You would tell him its no bother, that you have enough clothes and pretty jewellery to last you a lifetime but he drags you to the car to your favourite store and you can't help but give in.

☆ He would get a former guard dog and train it to only command you and him, this dog would stay at home with you all the time. You would take it out walks and just spend your whole day with it. He wants to make sure you are safe all of the time.

NSFW AHEAD!!

☆ He likes to take it slow, make ethereal love to you and treat you like your made of glass. You would let a few tears roll down your cheek from his sweetness.

☆ Pussy eater!!! He is like a god with his tongue. Worships your clit like its his favourite thing while his fingers work in and out of you. It doesn't matter if you are crying from overstimulation, you have a safe word. His only mission is making you cum.

☆ Loves face sitting, literally just loves your pussy on his face and your thighs pushing against the side of his head. You would tell him that you are too heavy, he huffs frustrated and pulls you down on him and instantly gets to work. Let's just say, you forgot about what you said 3 seconds ago.

☆ Breeding kink. Sorry, not sorry. In all his fantasies about you, it's you all pretty n pregnant with his baby. You will have that pregnant woman glow and he just can't keep his hands off of you. He doesn't really wear condoms but you'll usually be on the pill, he still struggles to pull out but it's nearly impossible for him. But when he does cum in you, he finds it the sexiest thing ever. He'll use his fingers to plunge his load back into you to feed his growing hunger.

☆ He loves when you top him and take your time with him, but he also enjoys being in charge and having his sole focus on you, even if you just came for the fourth time from his tongue and his cock is rock hard.

☆ The ratio between him giving you head and you giving him head is very diverse. He loves a good blowie but only does it when you want to, he will never ask you.

☆ Isn't one for quickies, he wants to take his time with you. He wouldn't like the risk of someone else seeing you being intimate with him, that is a sight only for him to see.

☆ Isn't afraid to make noise in the bedroom. Whimpering. Moaning. Whining. Groaning. He does it all.

I hoped you liked this!! If you have any more requests don't be shy. Stay safe and take care of yourself my lovies xx

[skylarsblue]

✦Random Sinclair Headcanons✦

(I was bored and I have nowhere else to put them)

Lester's got a slight allergy to certain citrus fruits. It's not terrible, but it did get stuff like orange juice banned from the house when the brothers were younger. But that's Bo's favorite. So he always has a jug specifically for himself in the house since Lester's no longer living with them.

Vincent's hair is well kept in turns of how he washes it, but their lifestyle ruins it constantly. Some parts of Vincent's hair is a lot shorter than the rest cause he got too much wax caught in it, so they have to snip a strand. It's like terrible layers.

All the brothers have bad teeth, Bo's looks the best on the surface, but mans got at least 8 fillings in the back.

Bo is shit at telling people's accents, Vincent's decent at it. But Lester? Somehow he's the gibberish translator. Someone could come through with the most unintelligible accent and he'll somehow know what they're saying.

I've said Bo can play piano, and so can Vincent, but they're more adept with the violin. Lester can probably tear shit up on the harmonica

Vincent's art mediums are; wax sculpting(duh), painting, and charcoal.

Bo's art mediums are; photography, musical(though he dropped that one), and he used to be pretty good at pen doodles(but he dropped that too, fuckin' thanks Trudy)

Lester's art mediums are; scavage-crafting, wood/bone carving, and scrapbooking.

Bo had a phase where he was really good at producing poems/poetic song lyrics. But he stopped doing it because he got made fun of once. Basically anytime he does anything artistic, he drops it, because he gets made fun of or told Vincent is better.

Bo & Lester bond over old cars and Lester knows a good amount about cars because of it. By proxy, Bo knows a lot about Lousiana wildlife thanks to Lester.

Lester & Vincent bond over sculpting & carving. I think almost everyone agrees Vincent's dual dragon knives were carved from bone that Lester found.

Lester wasn't good in school but mans was fantastic in woodshop. He outdid everyone. Without even trying! Fuck a bird house, get a bird MANSION.

Vincent's an insomniac, Bo's got night terrors, and Lester is the type to wake up every hour. What's funny is that when they were younger, Bo was the insomniac, Lester had night terrors, and Vincent was the one who woke up every hour. They all switched problems somehow.

They all have two matching moles on their lower ribs and right beside their belly button.

Bo's first job was at a mechanic's shop, Vincent's was at a music shop, and Lester's was at a gas station. Bo was fuckin' trash at customer service, Vincent silently judged people's music choices, and no one talked to Lester(sadly).

Lester makes all his food too damn spicy. He adds spice to already hot things. Both his brothers think he's a demon as they watch him add chili flakes to things.

Bo hates reality TV, but in the way that he'll stick around to watch it and yell at the TV if he sees it on. It's actually pretty funny.

There is one mixtape in Lester's truck, it's the only one he listens too, and it's an old one he stole from Bo when they were teens. Bo still wonders where it went but Lester refuses to tell him.

Bo says he hates hugs but somehow gives the best ones. They're like, engulfing dad hugs with the perfect amount of pressure. Lester's hugs are a bit too tight but it's cute. Vincent's are soft and delicate, like a blanket.

If Bo's had a night terror and he can't calm down, he'll look for Jonesy. And she'll lay on top of him on the couch until he calms down. Vincent's found them a few times, but chooses not to comment on how Bo holds the dog he swore he didn't want like a teddy bear.

Vincent had a Greek Mythology phase, Bo had a WW2 History phase, and Lester had a Dinosaur phase.

Vincent's favorite colors are beige & lilac, Bo's are midnight blue & charcoal black, & Lester's are fern green & dandelion yellow.

Lester's house is cleaner than the twins, ironically. It's cluttered, yes, but he actually keeps a decent living space. There aren't even coffee rings on his tables, he made his own coasters. He's got a messy job so he likes his house to be clean.

Bo & Vincent don't know how to load a dishwasher. They wash their dishes by hand, but, they also don't cause they hate doing it When the sink is too full, they do rock, paper, scissors. Bo tends to lose.

[cillianhead]

oppie (cillian’s version) is a sub change my mind

i think oppie (cillian's version) is a freak in the sheets. (listen this is all just me daydreaming more about Cillian AS OPPIE just doing stuff BUT LIKE I DO SAY STUFF REFERENCING OPPENHEIMER KIND OF??? SO SORRY IF ANYTHING IS INCORRECT (tbh this ain't that freaky it's just me writing a short little random blurb lol) (also i sorta switch in and out of using she / you)... 18+ OBVIOUSLY MINORS DNI!!!)

i think he's probably more than happy to be a dom or a sub, he doesn't really care. I think he'd also be into being pegged by his woman or pulled around on a leash or slapped around. oppie is pretty open-minded and pretty eager to 'spice' things up. but this is all just me daydreaming

i can imagine you in the Los Alamos home, waiting for him in bed after a long day's work of telling men what to do. And finally... the time when he got told what to do... whether it be fuck her harder until his back aches or let him be the chew toy he usually was. she liked to joke she'd make him his own personal collar to go along with his clothes... and the thought of that did turn him on, not strange at all to him who stares into the making of the death of mankind. The idea of sex was something just as complicated and interlaced with deep intricacies we will never understand but also something more primal. Something that reminded him he was human. And fuck... staring into your sticky pussy you fiddle with as he starts to undo his tie was like frying every cell in that brain of his.

"No... keep it on..." You shake your head, fingers still drawing circles lazily on your clit barely teasing yourself as you lay there proudly for him. His eyes soaked in your body and how utterly breathtaking the sight of what lies in between your legs was. "I wanna pull you around on it..." "Well... yes, ma'am," He'll flare his nose in a tone of amusement as he tips his hat off to her and sets it down on the dresser as he unbuttoned his shirt. Robert would watch you in the mirror as you slid your sticky fingers to your thinly-veiled tits, slipping your fingertips under the lacy top and toying with your hard and incredibly sensitive nipples. You drove him crazy in the best of ways... in the ways he should be crazy. "Now don't look at me like that, bunny..."

"You're taking way too long to undo those buttons of yours..." You complain and he'll roll his eyes as he always does once he gets off his top pieces, he's undoing his belt and pants within a matter of seconds. His tie still around his neck as he stood fully naked and fully erect for you as you got up on your knees on the bed, perched up and facing him as you leaned in. You'd grab his chin and he'd feel how wet your fingers are. "Are you gonna behave tonight, daddy?" You asked, tilting your head as you yanked on his tie a little, enjoying the way he flinched.

"Yes, of course, my darling..." He nods desperately, mouth full of drool for your demands. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it... command me, I'm your slave." "Get on your fucking knees and beg..." You whisper harshly and then slap him across the face and he lets out a delightful sigh at the familiar burn and the handprint on his face. "You like that don't you..." As he collapses to his knees, Oppie nods and prays for you to give him something.

"Please... Y/N..." Oppie tries, head tilted slightly down as you lower your feet down to the floor and run your fingers through his short hair, treating him like a dog. "I'll be a good boy." You pulled his face to force him to look at your pretty pussy, close enough to smell but not close enough to taste... you were teasing him. "I beg of you..."

'Tsk Tsk Tsk' You shook your head with a smug grin on your face, swaying your hips and tantalizing him with his favorite view. "More."

"Darling," He pleaded, eyes so big and blue, he was defenseless to how he showed his emotions through the dread of the irises honesty. "Please let me taste you... I've dreamt about you in my head all morning and all afternoon..." "Dreamt of me?" You mused.

"In the daytime," He mumbles, trying to shake his head from your grasp like a feral dog trying to get at its prey. "I see flashes of you... pictures of you... traces of you everywhere... I see you in my mind wherever I go."

"How very romantic of you," You chimed, letting go of his hair to lean back on the bed and prop your legs up on his shoulder, spreading yourself out on display for him. His pupils expanded like black holes on the horizon of a dying sun that shone blue. "You can taste..."

No other words were said by him as he (for once) mindlessly dove in and buried his face into your wet cunt. Oppie wasn't sure there was a god up above but he knew this was heaven right here with his head between your thighs and your lips slipping his name loudly and endlessly.

He loved being bossed around, being possessed, it reminded him of his body, and for once not his mind.

??? did any of this make sense??? sorry??? lol

[saint-johnny]

love language , ghost

note, this is my first piece in this world. i write hockey and some other stuff on a different account (@ilyasorokinn if you want to check it out), but this is the first piece i've written for ghost and cod in general, so please be kind. anyways, let me know if you'd want to see this for any other guy, and i'm so down :) another note, a huge shoutout to @nsharks for everything she does. this fic and acc wouldn't exist if i hadn't read your stuff, so you're so slay. pair, simon "ghost" riley x reader summary, simon checks out a book at the library about the five different love languages. warnings, soft simon <3 word count: 2327 words

(gif not mine)

Out of curiosity, Simon checked out a book at the library. It was about the 5 different love languages. He was expecting it to be a bore but was pleasantly surprised when he didn't want to claw his eyes out.

He was trying his best with you, he really was, but he wanted to show you how much he cared, and this book was going to help him show how much he cared about you.

i. acts of service - "Do chores together or make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload."

Saturdays were dedicated to laundry. Somehow it piled up, and you were often confused as to how. You let out a sigh as you started yet another load of laundry.

"I think we need to clean out our closet again."

"You say that every week." Simon pointed out, a hint of a smile on his face.

"And every week I mean it. I mean, how do we have so many clothes. I feel like I'm drowning in clothes and laundry detergent." You flopped back onto the bed, the same one Simon had just made.

"I'll do the next load." He volunteered.

"Will you really?" You peeked an eye open at him.

"Yeah." He nodded. He hated laundry almost as much as you did, if not more.

"You are a saint, Simon Riley." You leaned over and placed a dramatic kiss on his cheek.

"I wouldn't say a saint." He muttered but you didn't hear.

-

You watched him from the chair in the corner of your room as he folded clothes, "So, what do you want for dinner? We can have leftovers or there's some frozen chicken nuggets, I know you like those."

You spotted something of a smile on his face, "I'll take care of it."

You looked up from your book, then looked down at Stanley, your dog, who was laying at your feet and looked just as surprised as you, "You're going to cook tonight?"

"Don't sound so surprised." He grumbled.

"All right, you take care of dinner then. One less thing for me to do." You shrugged happily.

-

After laundry, you watched from your spot at the kitchen island as Simon moved around the kitchen. He was grabbing different things from different cabinets and from the fridge.

It was almost foreign for him to be in the kitchen, not that he had ever not cooked, it was just you were cooking (or ordering) for him because he was tired from a long mission.

"You know what you're doing, right?" You joked. He hardly heard you as he meticulously measured out his spices. You decided to wait it out in the living room, and you grabbed your glass and made your way over to the couch.

He finished his dish and carried the plates over to you. He sat down and handed you your utensils before handing you your plate. He watched your face the entire time for your reaction as you chewed on his dish.

"So?" You looked up to see the nervous, almost panicked look, on his face, "What do you think?"

"Simon, it's delicious." You complimented without hesitation, "Really." You set the plate down and reached over and hugged him.

You felt his body deflate as he relaxed, "I'm glad."

"Well now that we know you can cook, looks like you'll be in the kitchen." You nudged him jokingly. Stanley propped his front legs onto the couch, his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out, "I think Stanley wants to try some too." You smiled.

ii. physical touch - "Hug, kiss, hold hands, show physical affection often. Make intimacy a thoughtful priority."

Simon had only been away for a week and a couple days, but you couldn't help but feel nervous. This was, by far, not the longest mission but any mission was still too long in your eyes.

You had just talked to him the night before, and he had vehemently reassured you that everything was okay and he was on track to get home sometime in the afternoon.

You were riffling through your closet trying to find something to wear. You knew he didn't care what you wore, but that didn't mean you didn't want to look good.

"What do you think Stanley?" You were trying on different outfits in front of the mirror and had no one to show these outfits to except the dog.

You turned away from the mirror to look back at Stanley who was laying in his bed, his head resting on his legs, "Too colorful?" He tilted his head to the side.

You sighed turning back to the mirror, "You're right. I'm overthinking it. Just go with something simple." You nodded, "You've done it again, Stan."

You piled yourself and Simon into the car and drove to the base where everyone was landing. You waited in the designated area where you and Simon agreed you would always wait for him when you could.

You sat on the floor with Stanley, giving him all the love because you knew the moment he saw Simon, he would abandon you and charge straight for his other parent.

And you were right to think that. The moment the door opened and Stanley spotted Simon, he was jumping up and ran over to greet him, "It's good to see you, too, Stanley." Simon greeted the dog, bending down to give his head a pet and a scratch.

He set his bags down before his eyes finally landed on you. He carefully moved past Stanley before making his way over to you. You stood up and wrapped your arms around him, savoring the feeling of having him home and in your arms.

"Did you miss me, too?" You asked.

"Of course, love." He muttered into your hair, pressing a kiss to it, "Soap doesn't hold a candle to you when it comes to hugs." He joked, cracking a smile when you laughed.

With him in your arms, it was almost liked time stopped. You didn't know how long you stayed in that position but you honestly didn't care, "You ready to go?" Simon broke the silence.

"Not yet." You murmured.

"All right, we'll stay here, like this." He hummed.

And so you did.

iii. gift giving - "Give thoughtful gifts and gestures. Small things matter in a big way. Express gratitude when receiving a gift."

You were ready to give up on work. Everything was starting to blur together and the caffeine you were drinking could only help for so long.

You glanced up at the clock and groaned when you realize you had a couple more hours to go, "She's right over here." Your co-worker stopped next to your desk.

Your brows furrowed together but your questions were quickly answered when Simon stepped out from behind her, "What're you doing here?" You asked, getting out of your chair and wrapping him in a quick hug.

"You forgot your lunch at home, so figured I would drop it off." He held up a bag, which you assumed your lunch was in.

"You didn't have to bring it. I would've just ordered something."

"Wanted to see you, too." He responded, producing a bouquet of flowers from behind his back, which you had somehow missed.

"They're beautiful." You gushed, taking the bouquet in your arms, "Thank you."

"And I thought I could have lunch with you." He suggested, almost nervous.

"I don't have lunch for another 20 minutes."

"I can wait." He stated.

"All right, you can sit there." You pointed to a chair somewhere in the office. He sat there for 20 minutes and once those 20 minutes were up, he got up from the chair and walked over to your desk.

"Lunch time." He announced, pulling up a chair next to you and sitting down, giving you no choice but to stop working and give him all your attention.

He began unpacking the bag, and it was then you realized he was pulling out stuff you hadn't prepared the night before to bring. He had prepared food for you and brought it.

"Si, did you make this?"

He shrugged, "Figured if I was gonna bring you lunch, might as well be good." You made a face, "Not to say your sandwich isn't tasty, love." He quickly corrected himself, "Just sayin' you eat that sandwich every day. Why not try something new?"

You smiled so big your cheeks started to hurt, "Thank you, Si." You reached over and squeezed his hand, knowing he wasn't big on PDA.

He squeezed your hand back, "Eat, please." He scooped up some pasta and held it in front of your face.

"All right, all right." You grabbed the fork.

iv. quality time - "Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your partner. Weekend getaways are huge."

Out of the blue, Simon surprised you with a mini getaway to a cabin in the woods, away from the rest of the world, something you mentioned to Simon a couple of times.

You spent your days doing whatever you wanted. Whenever you went on trips, you usually had a plan or at least an idea of what you wanted to do, but since Simon had planned this trip and had sprung it on you, he didn't really have anything planned, which was his plan.

He knew you were organized and always liked to plan ahead, so instead, he planned, for your trip, to do absolutely nothing.

After lunch that you and Simon had cooked together, something new that you were doing now that you knew he knew what he was doing in the kitchen, you decided to go for an afternoon walk.

When Stanley heard his leash being picked up, he was sprinting down the hall and jumped up on Simon, who just so happened to pick it up.

"Whoa." Simon stumbled back but quickly caught his footing. He bent down and clipped the leash to Simon's collar. Once you were both suited up, you finally stepped outside.

Stanley happily trotted in front of you and Simon, taking in everything. He was sniffing everything and even tried to eat a mini pinecone.

"Aye, no." Simon gently yanked Stanley back, who looked up at Simon like a scolded child.

You smiled, walking ahead of the two of them, completely oblivious to the picture Simon snapped of you. He caught up with you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, "Thank you for this trip." You hummed happily, looking up at him.

"You seemed like you needed it." He shrugged.

"Still, this was so out of left field, I didn't even see it coming."

"That was sort of the point, love." He pointed out.

You rolled your eyes, "Thank you, Si."

"You're welcome, love."

v. words of affirmation - "Send an unexpected note, text, or card. Genuinely encourage, and often."

When you woke up, Simon was already gone, off to work out. You selfishly lay in bed for a few more seconds, debating if you should cancel your plans for the day and just stay there.

You eventually pulled yourself out of bed and made your way into the bathroom. As you reached for your toothbrush, you found a post-it sitting on the front of the cup holding your toothbrush.

You smiled to yourself when you saw Simon's chicken scratch messily written on the note.

"Hope you have the best day. Give Stanley an extra kiss from me." - S

You looked down at your dog Stanley who stood guard at your side. The funny part was when you first adopted him, Simon wasn't too excited about it, but he often found it hard to say "no" to you.

Even so, it took Simon a while to finally accept Stanley. But they quickly became best friends and you would often have to fight for your spot in bed.

You gave Stanley a few extra kisses before moving on with your morning routine. By the time you got to the kitchen, you were hungry, so when you saw the donut box sitting on the counter, you dug right into it.

You spotted the note when you were halfway through your donut. You reached for it and it brought another smile to your face.

"Something sweet for my sweet." - S

That one made you laugh.

-

Throughout the day, Simon would send you texts. They were nothing big, but they were from Simon, and they were new. It was a nice surprise.

"Hope lunch is good. Don't forget to drink water." - S

"Me and Stanley miss you" - S

"Get home safe." - S

As you drove home, you couldn't help but smile. You don't know what caused Simon to start writing you sweet notes and texts, but you weren't complaining.

When you got home, you were happy to finally spend time with your little family. Just you, Simon, and Stanley. You spent the night catching up on episodes of Hell's Kitchen, and no matter how much he denied it, Simon did like the show.

You turned the bathroom light off and were very much ready to crawl into bed and crash. But right as you were about to climb in, you saw another post-it sitting on your pillow.

Your heart fluttered as you read it, then reread, then reread it again.

"I love you." - S

-

The next morning, Simon woke up alone. You had mentioned the night before that you had to leave earlier than normal the next day to finish up some work.

Stanley laid next to him, taking advantage of you not being in the bed. He smiled, carefully petting Stanley's head and then climbing out of bed.

He flicked on the bathroom light and got ready to burhs his teeth. He stopped when he saw a post-it sticking to the front of the glass. He picked it up and read it, then reread it, then reread it again.

"I love you, too." - Y/I

-

tagging @2manytabsopen cause you're slay <3

add yourself to my taglist!

[venomous-ragno]

Random ass König thoughts I have that no one asked for

Tags: König x reader, gn!reader, fluff

Warnings: Not proofread

• He strikes me as a Dominik, Alexander or Maximilian. I can't explain why, it's just the vibes. Also pls don't name him Hannes. While it is a German name it's also (very well known) slang for idiot.

• Dog person. Loves the big, clumsy ones he can play rough with and cuddle to his hearts content. Picks up and carries big dogs like it's the easiest thing in the world.

• Cuddles in his sleep. All sweet and cute until you try to get up but can't because he just doesn't budge. No chance of getting out when he's got his arms around you.

• The worst at saying no to his s/o. He'll walk around half naked cause they asked for his hoodies and he just kept saying yes until he ran out of stuff to wear.

• Your scent grounds him, reminds him of home. He takes the process of buying perfume for you very serious; spends hours in shops sniffing everything until his nose goes numb. Poor shop clerk won't understand a thing as he tells her he's looking for something "you" that's "just right" but can't describe any further.

• My man cannot take spice well. At all. Germans are rather scared of spice in general and he's no exception: The most out there condiment he'll eat is curry ketchup, but that's about it.

• Has once broken someone's nose for repeatedly making jokes about his height. Straight up whipped around and struck, fast and without mercy. Did he get into trouble for it? Yes. Does he regret it? No.

• Horny drunk. Absolutely, shamelessly, obessively horny about his s/o.

• Will purposefully listen to music that's more hardcore when out in public, like metal or punk rock stuff. Helps him be more confident and less mindful of other people's stares; Germans stare a lot by nature.

• Enjoys picking up and carrying his s/o around. He just loves seeing them all happy and giggly, arms around his neck as he moves them wherever they tell him to.

• Forehead kisses. Pls give this guy some forehead kisses. He'll melt.

[carlyraejepsans]

> "Is the King... y'know..."

"How... big is this kingdom exactly?"

Sans considers the question for a moment.

"...eh. it's hard to tell at this point. hundreds? maybe a thousand subjects, but i wouldn't count on it. whoops, sorry. fans."

"That's all?"

"yup," he said, his distinctive lack of lips not preventing him from popping the letter, "used to be more, of course. this place was pretty crammed just a few years ago..."

He looked away for a moment, then back at you, face carefully blank, "but now we're not. lucky us, huh?"

You can feel something bigger than you bubbling under the surface of the conversation. You decide not to press your luck.

"Is everything like this around here?"

"like what?"

"You know..." You wriggle your hands, vaguely pointing at the discarded suit.

Sans gets your meaning, "sugar and spice and everything awful? heh, nah. not that mettaton isn't trying."

He scratches at the side of his skull.

"but it's just easier to focus on the capital. and the stuff immediately around it. new home, the core. hotland. anything past waterfall though, THAT'S where it gets tricky. it's, uh, not easy if you wanna build anything big over there. you better count on having help from the local folk. and those folks REALLY don't like change. specially the, uh, glittery, brainwashy brand."

"There's opposers to the king?" you ask, growing hopeful.

"sure thing. the further west you go, the less they like the guy. as a rule."

The thought doesn't half form in your mind before he snorts, again.

"yeah, uh, i wouldn't do that if i were you."

"What d—"

"you wanna leg it, don't you?" he interrupts you, "you're thinking "if the king wants me here, well, i should hide where they don't like the king". it's sound enough as far as plans go. but..."

He swirls the contents of his cup around once again.

"human SOULs are powerful stuff down here. it's just the sort of thing you'd want your hands on if you planned to, say, overthrow a king or something. heard they're plotting something big around snowdin, so i'd definitely avoid the area. although, you didn't hear it from me."

"...I don't get it," you say, "They're threatening the King. Shouldn't you do something? I thought you were his guard dog, or something."

"honorary. does it look like i have a tail? not that i'd let you check. but uh, yeah, pretty much. you're forgetting something, though..."

He takes a swig from the mug and winks.

"i'm REALLY bad at my job."

You don't respond. It would be funnier, you think, if you didn't know how false that was.

"I don't see the problem. If they want a human SOUL, I could help them—"

"yeah, no. SOULs are the kinda thing that's only useful when you're dead," Sans interrupts again. Seeing you deflate, he adds, "sorry."

You breathe in. Out again.

"You said the cave expands West, but it can't go on forever. What's at the other end?"

"nothing," he says plainly.

"Nothing?"

"nothing you're looking for, anyway. the..."

To your surprise, he falters. His eyes close for a second as his finger taps against ceramic.

"snowdin forest. that's as far as you can go. anything beyond that is off limits. magical seal: everything can come out, nothing can go back in. whatever's on the other side of the door is dead land, anyway."

"So you're saying you don't know?"

Sans looks up at you. For the first time, his mask of amiability cracks with annoyance.

"i'm saying you'll freeze to death before you can move that door a single inch. but you're free to get yourself dead if it makes ya happy."

You feel giddy, "Is there another entrance to the cave?"

"dunno."

"You don't know?"

"i don't care," he snaps. He takes a breath and leans back, forcing his pose to relax, "it wouldn't change anything for me. or anyone, for that matter, so. why bother?"

But you bother. The human in the photograph still smiles in your mind's eye.

"How do I get out of here?"

"the door," Sans says flatly, "i thought that was obvious, but considering how you came in—"

"How do you leave the Underground," you cut him off. You have no time for this.

Sans inspects your face for a moment, his momentary frustration from before scrubbed clean, in a perfect poker face.

He tips the mug to check that nothing is left in it, then drops it on the floor with a clunk.

-->

[ghostlythunderbird]

How they show their love ~ Task Force 141 

Pairings: Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, John Price X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Sugar (SFW), Little bit of Spice (NSFW), and everything nice!

Author Notes: My brain do be shutting down while writing these HCs but that’s ok cause a little violence and sleep deprivation never fully hurts anyone, right?

Simon “Ghost” Riley

So to start things off personally Simon isn’t one to really go out with his love due to his past but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t show his love in general. Simon’s love language is gift giving but he actually does it more subtly, in ways not many can see even when watching him do these things. 

Believe it or not but this big guy loves to leave small gifts in places that only you would know to look at. These small gifts include but not pertained to Candy, Favorite Drinks, a Single Flower, etc. If one day you have a headache/migraine and don’t have any pain meds, a random bottle of your preferred pain killers appear randomly in your backpack.

I’ll add this in but all of this starts once Simon starts to feel comfortable around you, maybe even trust you outside of a mission. It becomes deeper once you catch him in the act of leaving a candy bar you’ve been “Whining” about for the last week according to him. Having caught this looming giant in the act seemed to paint the picture that this guy isn’t as subtle as he seems.

You can’t help but smile seeing only small streams of who he really is. Of course you don’t want to make the poor guy melt into the floor in front of you, but he didn’t seem to stop you as you stepped towards him. Reaching up to touch his covered cheek you couldn’t stop the words pouring from your mouth “You know Ghost, I’m starting to think that heart isn’t as cold as you let on.”

John “Soap” MacTavish 

This man is a teddy bear when it comes to showing his unconditional love for you. His way he shows his love is not just with quality time but physical touch too, like good luck getting this man off of you when he’s home. Johnny just loves to be around you but he will respect your space if you say you need to take a break from him.

Another way this man will show his love is by pranking you, whether it be small pranks or full on scares you better be cautious of this cheeky gremlin.

His best one he’s done was him placing EVERYTHING in different spots and acting as if it was normal. The dishes are now in the refrigerator, the pantry food is now in the cupboard with your favorite snacks in the very top, all the frozen stuff is now in the sink on ice. It may be a small harmless joke but it was still irritating regardless, mostly because now you couldn’t find your snacks.

If you end up being a little angry at him he will cling to you afterwards asking for forgiveness “Come on Bonnie I thought it was funny.” Does this end up with apology sex? You're goddamn right it does.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick 

Now this sweet human here I feel like is a mix between a few of the love languages, he loves to give you small gifts that he’s collected off of his missions. While he’s off on missions for months at a time he ends up having a whole bag to bring back to you consisting of necklaces, bracelets, clothes, and small trinkets that he would think you would love.

Kyle also loves to help you whenever he can, he often feels that if he can’t help with anything that he’s not doing anything productive. Even after you tell him you don’t need help he will give you puppy dog eyes until you decide there is something he can help out with. No matter how small the task is he will see it to the end.

His favorite thing to do is help you redecorate your shared flat. From picking out new paint to new furniture if something in the flat has lost its functionality he loves to be part of the whole process. If anyone says that they don’t like your style you choose, prepare to hold him back cause this man will fight for you.

John Price

All I can truly say what johns love languages are both Physical Touch and Quality Time and y’all can fight me on that. Due to his job he can’t be home as often as he would like so the best way to get around it is with phone calls and face time. Of course if our dear captain if feeling more wound up than usual its bound to end up with phone sex.

But once he returns home after however long your not gonna be leaving the bed for the first week. While yes this might be a different form of quality time and personal touch, it still is the basic form of him showing how much he loves and has missed you. After the first week though he will be more doting on you more than usual.

Weather its watching T.V., cooking, going shopping in town, he has a hand on you as much as possible. It also grounds him, reminding him that he’s returned home safe for now. As much as he would like nothing more than to be cuddled up on the couch with you in your home, he understands if you want to go out during his time home so he’s willing when you drag him off to who knows where.

Sorry if this is super short, my brain isn’t as functional today. But if you enjoyed this post please leave a like and a reblog!

[cerise-on-top]

hi :D if you do character x character (with possibly x reader, too) headcanons, may i request nikprice hcs? aghh.. i love them so much, but there's (in my opinion) little content of them compared to other ships.. if you do have to add reader into it too thats okay :) i don't mind poly (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

but besides that how are you doing? i hope youre doing good :]

Hey there! I'm doing well, thank you! I've actually got five days off next week, which I'm really looking forward to! Plus I get to go to my regular department again too soon enough! But unfortunately, the other apprentice left me with so much work ^^;

NikPrice and NikPrice x Reader

NikPrice:

Although the two of them may be a bit older than some of their peers, they can still be considered idiots, especially when they’re with one another. Sometimes they get weirdly competitive with each other, which can result in either of them getting hurt. Nikolai leads Chimera and Price leads the TF141, both of them sometimes need to show off just how good they are at some things. Nikolai is usually a pretty calm guy, but he does get a bit cocky with Price, so he’ll instigate some competitions. Who can carry the most groceries. Who can find the most dogs and take pictures with them. Who will be favored the most for the week among their boys. It’s just dumb things, and Nikolai does try to cheat his way through most of them, but Price knows him well enough by now to know how he will try to weasel his way into victory. Price usually plays fair and forces Nikolai to do the same. The winner gets bragging rights and that’s about it. Sometimes they poker on who pays for dinner, but they don’t really mess around too much when it comes to more serious stuff. However, they both also compete with each other to show off just how good of a partner they are, even if there’s no need to do that anymore. They can both be proud as peacocks and always need to outdo one another.

Although it may sound stupid, the two of them do spar with each other from time to time. Since they’re about equal in strength it’s actually quite interesting to watch the two of them fight, both have a pretty good technique as well. However, Nikolai has more experience under his belt since he’s quite a bit older than Price. Again, he’s also not above cheating by trying to entice Price with just about anything he can think of. They’re adults, they’re leaders, but they are still morons with each other. Sometimes they fight over the TV remote when Price wants to watch his football game and Nikolai wants to tease him. Price gets mad every time he misses the football game just because he lost to his stupid lover. Nikolai gets a good laugh out of it every time. Although he may love Price more than anyone else, he can be a playful and cocky bastard at times. He makes up for it by taking Price to a real football game in a stadium, though. Can’t enrage the boyfriend too much all the time. Price is usually overjoyed when he does since he gets really into it. There’s nothing better than enjoying some football with Nikolai. Unless Nikolai teases Price about his team losing. In that case the two of them won’t be talking more than necessary for an hour. However, Price goes back to normal after the initial anger of his team losing has worn off.

Nikolai is actually a chef of the master class. He can cook just about anything and make it well at that too. Since he’s been pretty much everywhere at this point he’s learned quite a few recipes from all around the world. He also knows how to use his spices well. Though, his favorite recipes to make are still Russian ones. The two of them cook together often, it relaxes them. Besides, Price gets the privilege of eating Nikolai’s pirozhki before anyone else does. It’s an honor to him since he’s never had anything better in his life. Loves being Nikolai’s taste tester as well. Price isn’t as good a cook as Nikolai, but he does like showing his appreciation for all the good food by cooking something in return. However, his food is kind of bland. It could be worse, but it could also use a lot more spices. Nikolai used to tease Price about that before, but he’s stopped since as Price really does put a lot of effort into cooking for Nikolai. The latter really isn’t so mean to genuinely hurt his boyfriend like that. He does give Price some constructive criticism, though. Offers to help with cooking next time, but both of them know that Nikolai will just take the lead. But in the end, they both really do enjoy cooking with each other, regardless of who makes the main dish. They also get really chatty during it.

NikPrice x Reader

Considering how long they’ve been with each other, they've gotten used to it, but you genuinely cannot cuddle them during summer. You’ll become a sweaty mess and won’t be able to sleep at all since they’re both very warm. Nikolai more so than Price. However, the two of them can cuddle each other just fine since they’re used to warmer nights because of all the missions they’ve gone on. However, it’s pretty nice in winter. They’re two big, burly and warm men who love to make you feel toasty. Price is actually a pretty cuddly guy and Nikolai can be too with the right people. If you’re not on the cuddly side then they’ll settle for giving you a pat on the back every once in a while or just holding your hand. But Price loves touching you and Nikolai. He doesn’t need to do it every single waking moment, but it’s nice to hold your loved ones. Nikolai can go either way, but he’s pretty cuddly with Price. Sometimes the two of them fight over who gets to be the big spoon, other times they’ll just plop into each other’s arms. If you’re shorter than them then you’ll likely get sandwiched between them. If you’re as tall or taller than them then they might ask you to take on the role of big spoon. Sure, they won’t mind it when you’re shorter than them, but they’ll chuckle since you’re just a little backpack.

Both of them will try to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Even if you’re capable of that already, they’ll teach you something anyway. They’re both military men, they know what they’re talking about. Besides, it’s not as unlikely as one might think that you might get hurt because of them. You need to be able to defend yourself. They’ll take turns teaching you, improving your form and all. They’ll sometimes even deliberately spar in front of you so you could learn something from them fighting with each other. They won’t be as rough with you as they are with each other, especially not if you’re not part of the military, but they’ll be diligent in teaching you either way. If you’re part of the military then they’ll be rougher with you, but not as rough as with each other. Nikolai and Price have known each other for so long, they know where each other’s limits are. You’re the newest addition, so there’s still things they need to get to know. But I can assure you they will take good care of you. They’ll also reward you if you’re doing especially well during your little training lessons. Nikolai tries to bribe you into doing well by offering to cook your favorite meal if you do so.

The two of them actually spoil you rotten, especially if you don’t earn as much money as they do. Nikolai earns even more money than Price, so he has quite a lot to spend. Loves buying you and him all kinds of things. These can range from something useful to just something he saw and thought you might like. Price doesn’t like being indebted to people, so he always tries to buy Nikolai something back, even insisting that he shouldn’t buy him as many things. Nikolai never listens to him in that regard. And since Price buys Nikolai things he has to buy something for you as well. Sometimes it’s just your favorite kind of cake, sometimes it’s some nice and expensive jewelry. It’s always a mystery with Price. You don’t have to feel obligated to buy them something either. You’re more than welcome to if you have the finances to do so, but if you usually barely get by then you really shouldn’t have to. In fact, if you don’t have a lot of money then the two of them will pay for just about anything you need. Clothes, food, other necessities. It doesn’t matter. Together they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. It’s nice to spend it on someone you love and make them happy anyway. Don’t pay them back, they’ll find your bank account and return the money. They love you, let them pamper you like the little royalty you are.

[havendance]

Tim joins the family early/Jason Todd never dies fic

I figured since I’m coming up on nearly a year of reading far to much batman fanfic, I might as well share some it with the rest of y’all. Doing this by trope because I was in the mood a week ago when I was tracking all of these down. Anyway, if you got any favorites in this genre that aren’t on this list, add them on! I’m always looking for more good fic to read.

Latchkey by goldkirk

55k, complete. This fic is one of those fandom classics and one of those central touchpoints for the genre. I don’t know enough to say for certain but anecdotally, I’ve seen a lot of fics drawing on it’s combination of baby-stalker!Tim, Tim befriending the Waynes, and getting adopted.

5 Times Tim Spends the Night at Wayne Manor + 1 Time He Comes Home by motleyfam

50k, complete. What it says on the tin. If you like sickfic, this is the one for you. Tim manages to get himself sick and/or injured in just about every chapter of this baby.

Belonged Here All Along by Raberba girl

25k, wip but the main story’s complete. Tim bluffs/gaslights his way into getting the bats to adopt him.

birds fly in every direction by distracted_dragon

170k, wip. Plotwise, in broad strokes this was inspired by and is pretty similar to Latchkey. You’ve got your baby-stalker!Tim, Tim befriending the Waynes, and Tim getting adopted. It does put it’s own spin on everything though and is definitely worth checking out!

Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding

10k, complete. A 13 year-old Jason does his level best to adopted a 10 year-old Tim after Tim puts an ad in the paper for a big brother.

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge

25k, wip. As of the time of the post, this fic is still updating on a regular basis so the stats will probably become outdated sooner rather than later. Anyway, Jason doesn’t die, but Tim’s parents do and the family member who gets custody of him afterwards is slowly murdering him so Tim goes to the bats for help.

In this Town We Call Home by Vamillepudding

20k, complete. You’ve got your standard mix of baby-stalker!Tim, Tim befriending the Waynes, and adoption now with the added spice that the Drakes used Batman as a boogeyman and now Tim is kind of scared of Batman. Robin’s fine though!

On the Way Home by ignesfatuis

130k, complete. This one’s a little different than the rest of the fics in this list in that rather than taking place in a vaguely canon-ish universe, it takes place in a AU where there are wolf-shifters. Tim gets kidnapped, stuck in his wolf form, and is eventually rescued by the bats (who are also wolf-shifters).

Runaway Robin by DangerBeckett

10k, complete. Robin!Jason keeps running into baby-stalker!Tim on the roofs of Gotham. Very funny.

The Power of Family and this Stalker I found by JackHawksmoor

25k, wip. Technically, Jason did die in this one, he just came back at the earliest possible opportunity. Anyway, we’ve got baby-stalker Tim, we’ve got a Tim & Jason friendship, we’ve got a Dick and Bruce who’re dancing around each other and majorly miscommunicating. In other words, we’ve got all the good stuff. 

These Were their Crimes by Moe64

55k, complete. Unlike most of the works on this list, I haven’t finished reading this one yet, but from what I’ve read so far, it’s good! Jason doesn’t die, but Tim’s parents still do and now Tim and Step wander around Gotham at night to fight crime (Tim doing more of like a stalker/detective thing). 

Tim Pennyworth by April_Ace

10k, wip. Tim becomes Alfred’s foster child during Jason’s robin career. While this fic hasn’t been updated in a couple years, what there is now stands on it’s own quite well.

two against the world by carolinaa

35k, complete. Tim adopts a dog while out being a baby-stalker. Things escalate from there.

Fics that don’t quite fit the brief but that I still really like:

If I’m being honest, what goes on the main list or not is based almost solely off of vibes. Take that as you will.

Fairy Godbrother by envysparkler

30k, complete. The Tim joining the family early component of this is mainly in chapter 2, and is part of a larger plot where just about all the robins join the family early due to meddling from another dimension.

Surveillance by smilebackwards

7k, complete. Jason doesn’t die, and at the time this fic starts, Tim is seventeen, running around as a teenage stalker, and picking fights with Lex Luthor until he ends up tangled up in the Batfamily. Not on the main list mainly because Tim is nearly an adult.

The Man and The Nothing by Souliebird

5k, complete. 10 year old tim is being haunted by… something, and is just not doing well in general, so he goes to Batman for help.

[sugar-r-rush]

My Octavian(pjo) Headcanons because nobody gaf😝 + doesn't have a very good story.

Random little family stuff and him:

Born deaf but forced into hearing aids from a young age by his parents. Doesn't use them now that he's older.

Parents: Mom is German, Dad is Korean born and raised in Korea. They met on a business trip. (Mom, archeologists. Dad, biologists)

Parents crazy Roman religious

Parents are incredibly strict and it affected the way he acts greatly

Fluent in ASL a little Korean, and German.

Has 4 other siblings all younger than him, he's the oldest who was sent to CJ.

He and his family live in Alaska.

He HATES sweating

hes winning the idgaf war

Legacy of Apollo and Vejovis(@cupioriot creds for hc)

Birthday: November 11th, Scorpio

17 Years old, 5,11

Has no problem dating men or women, he's literally roman (JOKES)

Highest spice tolerance you'll ever see

Sleepwalking, and talks during it (about prophecies) its a good luck charm (got from someone here and struggling to find it im sorry!!)

Him, Jason, and Reyna are like 🤞🤞🤞 (when they were younger obv)

Prefers mint tea (self projecting)

Has family pets (Doberman, and St. Bernard) Both named after Roman leaders because you know what's up

Visited Camp Half blood and was disgusted

he wrote a 2 paged essay front and back to Chiron explaining to him as to why his kids aren't making it to 18(jk...)

"There are 89 year old demigods at Camp Jupiter." Chiron: 👩‍🦲🐴

Reyna's dogs ADORE him, though he's more a bird person he liked dogs a lot

Gets HEATED when told he's lying and isnt

Legacy kind of stuff

Similar to Samirah during Magnus Chase and the norse gods .his family goes very far back with the Roman gods

He has wings because I think wings are cool🙄

When he has visions it kind of looks like when moonknight does the whole star moving thing

He talks to birds like full conversations, the birds squawk back.

Frequency nose bleeds from the visions

That is all for NOW but I want to get this out before it gets too long 🙄🙄

[overwatchfics]

For the Homie Moss

COMFORT HCS DURING PERIOD

A/N: Some period comfort stuff for the homie, I didn't add widow since this is purely for you to indulge, but I can add her if you want. While this is for my homie, please go check out their writing below this paragraph super friendly writer. This is to you homie! Enjoy!

@enforcermoss

Ashe:

Oh honey she's rich and a milf she is going to spoil your ass

The giant love seat in the main room is ACTUALLY A MASSAGE CHAIR WHATTTTT

She also has a sleep number bed that allows you to change the position

Ashe will have you cook with her, she won't have you doing anything too strenuous.

Ashe actually would be fucking killer at barbeque, always has spiced meat that she's marinating in the fridge to cook on a weekly basis and she'll create a big meat feast for the two of you along with cooked veggies and some sweet tea or your beverage of choice.

AND TEXAS TOAST OML MAYBE SOME GARLIC BREAD TOO

The hard strenuous work is for BOB to do.

BOB is your homie too though, legit takes care of everything around the house so Ashe can take good care of you.

For once will let you wear her hat while chilling on the couch.

Ashe is pretty good with her hands (maintaining a rifle and firing one consistently takes methodical care) and she'll rub your thighs and lower abdomen to relief any cramps you may have.

Anything you need from the store BOB's on the way!

y'all are going to kick back and watch epic fails on TV because hearing Ashe watching pure dumbassery on tv really does something for you

Lathers you in kisses, cuddles, and sweet pet names

sweetheart, sweetpea, pumpkin, etc

if you care about make up she's doing yours no question.

Mercy

Literally a goddess sent from heaven.

Any painkillers you need? She's got them.

Will take time off of work just for you.

Angela is going to order whoppers with cheese from Burger King (not sponsored) and you two are going to kick it and watch NCIS, Law and Order, Bones, and all those cool crime science shows

Has her arms wrapped around your waist

BREWS THE BEST HOT COCO

Will call moira and ask to borrow her dog so you can see fluffy friend (I looked it up and apparently moira has a dog)

When watching TV you see Angela become so unhinged and get all super science nerd it's so cute

She'll discuss all the little details and maybe you can get her to share some crazy stories as her time as a doctor.

Idk if you like weighted blankets but she's got them.

Also a lot of hand warmers to help you stay warm

Angela herself has a very warm body that she'll press into you to help warm you up.

runs her hands through your hair and massages your scalp

If you're lucky she'll sing to you and she'll put your head in her lap.

Many cheek and forehead kisses.

If you're feeling emotional, she'll pull you into her lap and reassure you.

Kiriko

Her mom is cooking for the 2 of you no questions asked, and you bet Kiriko already has a stash of donuts ready to go.

Kiriko, as part of her connection to Inari, has superhuman senses, and she knows when you're about to be in pain even before you sense.

If you've got really shitty cramps, she's there at your side ready to support you and lead you to her futon.

WARM BLANKET AND FOX PLUSHES YES

Very cuddly, big spoon most likely, but doesn't mind being a little spoon either

I really cant explain how cuddly she is.

Always finds a way to be wrapped around you throughout the house.

She brews some seriously good tea though I'll give her that

Honestly youtube and maybe a job session with your guy's spotify playlists

BLANKET/PILLOW FORT

On a side note Kiriko will give you back and shoulder massages and she is the best. She typically has cold hands but can warm them up with some healing magic and work your tense muscles down.

Powerful hands from climbing can really work those knots too.

HAND HOLDING IN NEARLY EVERY POSTION.

She'll pull you into a hug the moment you have the urge to cry, she'll be there with hand smoothing down your back

D.va

Gaming, sorry you chose Hana so gaming.

that's it sorry.

JKJK SORRY

ANYWAYS

HEATED BLANKETS, HANA SUCKS WITH THE COLD SO HEATED BLAKNETS

has like 3

Tells her mechanic friend to get supplies for you, she doesn't want to leave your side.

Since same height if there's gaming involved, she'll either sit in your lap or you sit in hers when she's playing a game or the two of you are.

Hana knows how to relax in healthier ways too, she boils water and puts sliced lemon in the bowl of hot water and has you wear a towel over your head and breath in.

Super relaxing.

Has so many onsies if you want to borrow one just ask.

Expect a lil teasing though.

Very good at cheering you up if you're feeling down, is the biggest goofball of the group and knows just how to make you smile and promptly shows you a video of D.mon tripping over a wrench in the workshop. Or when she sprayed Liquid Ass in Cassidy hat.

Will not hesitate to give you a piggyback ride to the kitchen for some snacks but will also order take out so you aren't loading up on pure snacks.

Hana can't cook for shit I'm sorry.

If you're down for it, she'll take you out flying in her mech and see the night lights in Busan.

When she's out there she's the calmest, and that's when deeper philosophical conversations about existence on Earth.

WESTERN BACON

The utimate comfort burger

The Cajun fries will warm you up and the burger is an excellent savory flavor

The burger is the comforting source, very big into cuddles and comforting kisses.

Loyal faithful burger and her army of cajun fries are at your service and will give their lives for you

very seasoned soldiers

Very lovable meal and is good at any time of the day

[swiftiebookwormlogastellus]

ATYD Characters As Stuff My Friends Have Said:

……..

Sirius: Is it Arthritis when your heart clenches?

James: I���m pretty sure that’s love

Remus: No, that’s a heart attack

………..

McGonagall, about the Marauders: I wanted to say no but they didn’t give me enough time

………..

Lily, during potions: BOILING WATER WILL NOT CATCH FIRE

…………

Remus, when asked about money: I have 1.90 plus a paper clip

…………

James: Keep my dog’s name out of your barking mouth. Woof.

………..

Peter: Is lactose intolerance ice cream phobic?

………..

Lily: Pregnancy is not a birth defect, Sirius.

……….

James, when asked about quidditch: Hustle. Slay. Repeat.

………

Grant, concerned: Remus is like thank u, next to my next life

……….

Regulus: History is one big meme and we’re all fools in it

……….

*texting*

Regulus: Who’s drowning Debbie?

Regulus: wait

Regulus: that says downer

Regulus: nvm

Voldemort: I mean if someone’s drowning it’s gonna be you

……….

Sirius: You’re gonna be proud of me.

Regulus: Doubtful, but go on.

………

*while doing a presentation*

Remus, just before a full moon: Lily, if you see anyone talking, throw your shoe at them.

Sirius, from the back: You sound like my mom

………

Sirius: *rapid French*

Peter: Si?

……….

Sirius: I will sue my bloodline

……….

Remus: I met 5 people today. I hated this experience. I’m an introvert.

………

Walpurga: What are you gonna sue me with?

Sirius: ….A lawyer.

……….

Snape: It’s not racially motivated if you hate everyone equally

………

Peter: I’m attracted to cheese

……….

Remus: I traded intellect for chocolate.

……..

Chris: 10/10. I’m recommending it to the person who recommended it to me.

……..

Grant, about Sirius: And that, my friends, is what we call materialistic.

……..

Sirius, during PoA: This is animal abuse at it’s finest! *kicks rat*

……..

Sirius to Professor McGonagall : Have you tried hop on?

……..

Remus, holding up a scrabble tile: Stop giving me D!

……..

About Fenrir: His favourite food is gay people.

……..

Sirius, when trying to become an animagus: I have a condition in my hair where my mouth won’t move.

……..

Lily, trying to explain muggle technology: Do you know what a gigabyte is?

James, completely lost: Gigachad?

……..

Mary and James about English cuisine: Isn’t it ironic how you colonized places and started wars over spices but still have the blandest food ever?

……..

Sirius: *kicks snow at James*

Remus, narrating: As you can see, the Cold War has begun

……..

Sirius, drunk: J’ai no stupid

……..

James: What does KFC stand for?

Sirius, to the tune of California Girls: KaliFornia Curls

……..

Remus: *starts beatboxing*

Peter: *starts dancing*

Sirius: *raps about peppa pig*

James: BUM BADA DA DA BADADADA DA DA

……..

Snape: Pigeons are fat and ugly.

Sirius: Look who’s talking

……..

Walpurga: You can punt kids without legal repercussions.

……..

Sirius: I’m gonna do what the Canadians did to the First Nations. *stabs someone with an exacto knife a wand*

……..

Sirius: Applying cell theory to my hair to dye it…

……..

Marlene, after meeting James' mom: GUYS I JUST MET A MILF

……..

Dorcas: Lucrative! That's a big word for...

Barty: Elmo?

……..

James: A PUNK ROCK DRUMMER AND HE'S SIX FOOT-

Sirius: *tackles James*

……..

Pandora, about Barty: Evan! Talk some sense into this British goblin!

……..

Sirius to Snape: I will drain your spinal fluid and shove it up your butt.

……..