#if you hate steph or damian or any of the Batkids I hate you sorry

[spite-and-waffles]

Pros and cons of stealing a very delicious JayTim plot from an author who bashes Steph and Damian in what seems like every fic they write, without tagging the character hate, despite repeatedly being asked to, who also puts that shit in the TimSteph tag. Discuss.

[brucewaynehater101]

That Wingless Wing AU, I’m guessing that it’s probably like a 25-75 of whether people have wings or not? Because otherwise Jack and Janet wouldn’t hate the idea of wings, because they’d be normal, expected.

Anyway, what would the wings look like? Would they be regular bird wings? Angel wings? Bat wings? Dragon or devil wings? Any and all combinations? What do you think everyone’s wings would look like, and is there any meaning behind them?

Also, if the Joker removed Tim’s wings, I can only guess that it would leave a NASTY couple of scars. It would be easy enough to hide them… at least until Tim gets injured. How do the Batfam react when they realize what happened?

Finally, you specifically used the word “hybrid” to refer to winged people. Does that mean they have other instincts/characteristics, and are there other types of hybrids?

(Sorry it’s such a long ask!)

Og post for anyone who wants to check it out!

Fantastic questions! Let's get into it ^^

I didn't think about specifics for winged/hybrid population distribution, but it would be on the lower side. Less than 50%, but you could play the Drakes' attitude as a common sentiment of rich folk (something about dehumanization, lack of rights, history, increased prevalence of hybrids, etc).

In Gotham, the social attitude about hybrids is better. The Waynes are famous for their wings, after all, and Martha Wayne had gorgeous wing decorations/jewelry.

As far as wing type, it depends on how far you want the AU to go. For this one specifically, it's simpler for there to only be winged hybrids. This still opens the AU for tons of exploration on the types of wings each person has (although, I'm curious if Penguin is a hybrid and how that works).

Overall, their instincts/needs/behaviors are similar. There may be some small distinctions (like wing type care or personality), but they all desire connection, a nest (both in a metaphorical "home" sense and a physical cuddling space), helping their loves ones, preening, and calls/coos/vocal stuff (not all of them are birds). Add more if you'd like!

Dick's wings are colorful. He's also more vocal and cuddly. He's often cooing and being physically affectionate with others (such as rubbing his face against someone else like some birds do).

Jason's were white. Because of his inability to take care of them, they were grey/dirty and wilted at first. If you want to hc the Lazarus Pits gave him his wings back, then they came back black (like a crow or raven).

Oof.... So I know I said Joker saw Tim as a bird with his wings... But I really love the idea of Tim having dragon wings. They had holes and were shriveled due to his constant disuse and the amulet. The wings he makes for Robin are mechanical bird ones, but he does miss his own wings.

Cass isn't a hybrid, but she does understand the others' instincts. She gets eerily good at mimicking different calls and will be first to drag someone into the nest.

Steph has gorgeous bird wings that are one vibrant color. Purple sounds like a cop out, so maybe a midnight blue or deep pastel yellow.

Damian and all of the al Ghuls have bat wings. Bruce, on the other hand, has red wings that he uses black temp die for patrols.

Jim Gordon doesn't have wings. He would not have made it to Commissioner if he did (anti-hybrid sentiment has gotten better, but not enough). I can't decide if Barbara should have wings or not. Either way, she can't use them when she becomes paralyzed :(

Duke's wings are either orange or yellow with cool black highlights and patterns to them ^^

Alfred is not a hybrid, but he was in a thruple with Martha and Thomas Wayne. He helped them with their preening and helped Bruce (and later all the batkids) as well

I could give all of them specific meanings behind their wings/what animal they are closest to, but not now. Instead! Let's get into Tim's scars.

TW: wing removal, torture, JJ

The Joker was not kind nor careful about the removal. The pain and gore were as much the point as the removal themselves. Tim still wakes up choking on his breath over the feeling of his wings being removed. The physical pain, emotional, and hybrid instinct hell were brutal for the kid.

The scars were gnarly, but his parents paid for treatments to lessen how much they etched into Tim's skin. By the end, they were a bit thinner and paler. They were still very visible but not as painful to look at.

For humor and angst sake, let's say the batfam learns about Tim's missing spleen. He shows off the scar and shrugs.

The others are having a reasonable breakdown over Tim losing his spleen when one of them asks, "Have you lost any more body parts?"

Tim pauses too long.

The Bats freak out some more.

[igotanidea]

The L word: Jason Todd x fem!reader

Summary: How the hell did these two end up together? They constantly tease and spite each other.... Well, Jason and Y/N had their banter on at all times, but there were something more behind the surface.

A/N: I caught a cold so this might suck. And I am a sucker for WFA Jason so bear with me......

5 years ago.

Y/N Y/L/N was a part of batfamily since she could remember. Never really adopted, just taken in due to her skills and urge to do something good. Unlike many of the kids Bruce decided to put under his wings, she was more of a teenager when he first offered her his protection and care. Which meant that when she first arrived at the Manor there were like 10 people inside, all eyes on her and it made her feel a bit uncomfortable.

“Hey little one. You must be Y/N. I’m Dick. The oldest brother. So nice to meet you.” the black-haired boy almost crushed her in a tight grip.

“I… um.. hi. I’m not really a hugger, but…..”

“You’ll get used to it. Believe me, you will never have a single alone moment here.” The boy just smiled before letting her go. “Let me introduce you to the others.”

“I am fairly sure we can introduce ourselves.”

“Right. Cause you are the first one to do this.” Dick smirked and rolled his eyes “Y/N, meet my little unruly brother Jason. He’s the black sheep in the family.”

“Looks like he’s proud of this title.” Y/N tilted her head slightly “but from what I heard you prefer color red than black, don’t you?”

“You cracked me. Good for you. At least you know who to look out for.”

“Can’t wait for you to show me if you live up to your name, red.” She smirked and Jason’s eyes glistened a bit.

“All right. That is not disturbing at all” Dick rubbed his forehead “Let’s move on. Where is Tim?”

“Batcave. The entire team is there. Something about debriefing, I guess.” Jason muttered

“And why aren’t you there?”

“Hm. I don’t know. Partially because I don’t give a …..”

“JASON!”

“….and partially because I’m busy.”

“With what exactly?”

“Honestly? Everything else.” He shrugged and resumed his reading.

“I’m so sorry about him, Y/N. Jason can be a little …. Intense.” Dick turned towards the girl apologetically with a bit of embarrassment on his face.

“I can tell.” She smirked watching the other boy carefully. There was something about his attitude and sarcasm that captured her attention.

*** 

The second she came inside she got Jason’s attention. She was different than any other batkid. She wasn’t like  Dick and Steph with all their joy and sunshine and rainbows, and yet she had this quiet optimism inside. She wasn’t like Tim with his workaholic tendencies and yet she always did so much, never talking about it. She was not like Cass and Damian with their assassin origins, and yet there was something about her that warned not to cross path with her. It was like Y/N Y/L/N was a perfect mix of every trait he liked (or rather was willing to slip) and hated about people. A walking contradiction. Oh, and her fluent irony and sarcasm….. She was the only one good enough with that to ever come close to him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed their little bantering and spiteful conversations. Which were happening way to often for the comfort of the rest of the family.

“Jason Peter Todd.” She stood in the middle of the room, in front of the couch he was sitting on with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You found out my dirty secret I see.” He smirked, eyes fixed on her face

“Your middle name? Sure, I will never let you live through it.”

“Not sure how I’m gonna survive it.”

“You won’t. Trust me, you won’t. After all, it’s the same name as the one famous boy who never wanted to grow up. Maybe the same happened to you, judging by the way you act sometimes.”

“Really?” he stood up, towering over her, but she did not falter even in the slightest

“Yes.” her face expression was stone cold

“See how much I care.  Dick told you at the beginning I’m the black sheep of the family.”

“With that hair you are more like Cruella de Ville of the family.”

“Auch. Y/N. Are you aiming to be Elsa?”

“What? I don’t….”

“ Talking about the Disney villains? You are Elsa from Frozen. So… damn… cold.”

“Elsa was not a villain, you idiot! And besides, since when are you so familiar with Disney movies?”

“Dark times in my life…..”

“Cut the crap. Where the hell is my gear? I know you took it.”

“I did not. I mean, I didn’t literally take it.”

“What did you do, Jason?”

He hung on the rooftop like a flag.

***

2 years ago.

“Are you trying to replace me?” he was leaning on the doorframe watching y/n punch and kick the opponents in a simulation fight.

“I’ve been trying to do that for the last three years. Not much of a success, though.”

“Hm. Maybe it’s time to give up?”

“Nah. Not really my style. I will take you down Todd. Eventually.”

“Sure. You keep telling yourself that.”

“Why are you here, again, Jason? Wanted to have a look at my ass during the training?” she smirked turning around. “Be my guest.”

“Honey. Why do you think we got mirrors in the training room? I got the view onto my ass, that’s all I need.”

“UGH! That is gross!” she flinched

“You asked for it.” He shrugged

“What do you want Todd? I’m busy.”

“No. Angry is what you are. And I don’t like it. I’m the angsty one in this household.”

“You don’t like being dethroned, do you?”

“Y/N.”

“What?!” she turned around so fast that only due to his instincts he avoided being punched right in the face.

“Let’s get some of this energy out.”

“Jason Peter Todd.” She stopped and grabbed her heart “Are you asking me to spar with you?”

“I know, I know. It’s an honor for you. but what can I say, I am feeling generous today.”

“Bring it on, Red.”

***

1 year ago

“How the hell did these two even got together? I mean I get why Jason fell for her, but the other way round?” Tim scratched his head in confusion watching Jason and Y/N tease each other mercilessly on the other side of the table during the family dinner. No one in the universe would guess these two were a couple.

“They are both crazy that is how.” Damian muttered chewing on his veggies.

“I think they are sweet.” Steph grinned and immediately met with two pairs of surprised  eyes “what?! They get each other.” She added innocently taking a sip of her drink

“That is ever more concerning….” Tim muttered

On the other side of the table

“You sure you can eat that, Todd? I heard your gear is getting tight in some areas.” Y/N teased him without caring about anyone else being forced to hear it.

“Care to specify what areas you have in mind Y/L/N? Any of them you like more than others?”

“Surely not your head, you pinhead. That helmet will fall off if you don’t adjust it soon.”

“Hm. Speaking about the gear. Some little bird told me you are making changes to yours? Something about the shortage of material?”

“ It’s been a while since I modernized. If Dick could have had his Discowing, maybe I can try something new as well….”

“Care to share any of your ideas?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Y/N.”

“Hm, you know, looking at you right now I call back everything I said. You don’t need a helmet at all, your face is already red enough.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. And I don’t care.”

“I’ll take my revenge on you. “

“Is that a promise?”

“COULD YOU TWO JUST STOP IT!?”

“Look what you did, Y/n. You angered the Batman. Now you will have to apologize.”

“How about I kick your ass and humiliate you publicly as a form of compensation?”

***

Now.

“Stop hiding there, you creep. I can see you.”

“ Todd.” The youngest Wayne took a few step forward observing the scene in front of him. Y/N was curled up into Jason’s side, half-asleep, breathing slowly, while one of his arms was wrapped around her, pulling her in softly, the other holding the book he was reading to her out loud.

“What the hell do you want?”

“I…. I wanted to ask you something…..”

“Ask?” he raised an eyebrow and shifted his position slightly not to wake the girl up and still face his brother.  “Since when are you asking?”

“Shut up!” he hissed and Y/N squirmed

“No, you shut up, demon. I swear if you wake her, I will make sure you never get any sleep in your life ever again.” Jason growled. Much to his surprise, Damian just looked down a bit saddened “Hey, are you losing your mind more than usual under that dome?”

“I’m thinking. “

“Well that is new.” Jason rolled his eyes.

“I am not good with all this relationship stuff. And I wanted to know….”

“And you came to me to ask?”

“Well in case you did not notice, you are the only one in the family with the girl next to you!” Damian hissed. “Even Grayson failed in that area with his on and off romance.”

“Fair point” Jason smiled and rubbed Y/N’s side affectionately causing her to lean into his touch and humm quietly.

“How?”

“What?”

“How did you do it? You are harsh. You tease her constantly to the point where it becomes mean.  You are full of emotions and yet are emotionally unavailable. You tend to be impulsive and act before you think. And you…. you are not really prince charming, Todd.

"Careful with the words there...." Jason warned

"All I'm saying, and we both know that, is that you are not exactly a boyfriend material. So … how?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. Guess I was just myself? Never pretending? Maybe that is why? Because she knew all of me from the beggining? But I don’t know. It's like she sees something more to me” he sighed deeply “there were multiple times when I thought I don’t deserve her, but….”

“What?” Damian was just standing in the room, his face half hidden in the shadows. Even that little menace knew better than to ruin the moment of Jason's honestly and vulnerability.

“I don’t know.” Jason sighed deeply consumed by the thoughts. Just like he said, there have been hundredths and hundredths moments were that little question creeped in his mind. Why? Why did she want him? Of course, he was the best in this family of vigilantes, the most handsome and surely the most skillful, but still… she was just too good for him. And yet, despite his anger, his past, his everything she just accepted him constantly choosing to give him attention (or harassment at times), time and her best (and worse) self.  Hell, she adjusted to him, and without even realizing it, he did the same. He adjusted to her. Like two puzzle pieces in a two-piece jigsaw. He felt that every time she was next to him, in his arms and every time he kissed her, but also every time she laughed at him, because he did something stupid and every time she kicked his ass during training and definitely every time she iced him because he went too far in his action, and when he realized how much her presence changed his behavior and how much he wanted and needed her.  

“Todd?” Damian almost whispered throwing Jason out of his reverie.

“What?”

“Do you …. love her?”

“Love?” Jason repeated this word, letting it roll of his tongue, his eyes drifting to her beautiful, sleeping face and he smiled like never before, sudden realization dawning on him.  “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love her.” He closed his eyes enjoying the warmth spreading in his chest going up to his cheeks. He never thought about it before neither did he say it “I love her.” He repeated. It sounded nice and right. “And if you ever tell anyone about what just happened, I will….”

“I won’t Todd. Just this one time I’ll keep your secret of your soft side safe. ”

Two brothers looked at each other in the silent agreement. None of them would ever say that but thanks to this little exchange of words a lot of things made sense for both of them. Damian sighed, Jason nodded and the younger one left without saying anything more.

***

Raindrops on the windowsill woke her up. Jason was already awake, lying on his side of the bed, reading a book from the previous night, now keeping his distance from her.

"You're reading our book without me?" she tilted her head, eyeing him carefully.

"Not my fault you fell asleep in the middle of the chapter. Did you think I'll be able to resist continuing?"

“I guess not....." she muttered, her gaze turning a bit sad and it made his heart skip a bit. Did he hurt her?

"Y/N. I didn't mean to...."

"Of course you did. You always do. And I'm gonna explain it to you why I don;t give a damn about it ......” the girl trailed propping herself on the elbow and he immediately looked at her, only slighly surprised. They have been together for a while, but what if she didn't feel the same why about him? What if she didn't L him?

“Do you have anything smart to say, Y/L/N?” he teased rolling his eyes.

“You love me, Jason Todd?” she raised an eyebrow and he turned slightly red. Oh, shit.

“I guess you really are a light sleeper, huh?” that little embarassed tinge in his voice which he tried to cover desperatly did not pass her.

“Um, hello? Did you forget who raised us? Apparently alerted sleep comes in handy. Sometimes.” she moved a bit closer to him smirking.  “Jason.” her voice turned a bit more serious. “I need you to be honest with me. Can you handle it?”

“Not sure. Depends on what are you going to say next.” shit, he was shaking in anticipation for her words to come, becoming so freaking nervous.

“Was what you said true? Do you…. do you….?”

“Yes.” There weren’t any sign of hesitation in his voice. However, the harder part was saying the L word to her. How the fuck was it possible that he used it for the first time while speaking to Damian and not her!?

“Well…. Me too.”

“You too what?” he teased grabbing her chin forcing her to look at him and slowly leaning in.

“I too wanna hit your face.”

“Define “hit.” he leaned even closer. “the meaning of the word can vary under given circumstances. Like what do you wanna hit me with?”

“ I’ll let you figure it out by yourself.”

“I can handle that.” He whispered, brushing his lips over hers, so freaking close her breath hitched involuntarily.

“Come on you two lovebirds! Breakfast is on the table! Get up!” Dick busted through the door, making them jump away from one another at once, grinned playfully and disappeared again.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Jason groaned falling back onto the cushions, facing the ceiling and hiding his flushed face in his hands.

“I call dibs on that!” she laughed, quickly getting out of bed.

“You promise?” he grabbed her hand before she left the room, spinning her around to face him.

“Guess you will have to wait and see. Now come on, Alfred will kill us if we’re late for breakfast.” she raised on her toes, pressed her lips against his briefly and rushed off the room. "Last one at the table's a sucker!!"" she yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, causing all the sibilings to run from their rooms to avoid loosing.

Well, all the siblings, except Jay. Poor (or not) boy, was left alone, unable to move a single muscle, wondering why her kiss tasted differently this time.

Maybe it was because he did love her.

@pinksirensong

[bruciemilf]

I'm sorry but. Aunt Diana. With the baby batkids. Dick's the oldest at fourteen and Damian’s like three.

Damian bites her once, she doesn't flinch and he feels a sudden intense amount of respect for her. He stomps over to Bruce and demands that he introduce Diana to his mother (Talia) because "they are both mighty warriors, Baba."

Steph's almost nine and has the biggest and most obvious puppy crush that she denies with her whole heart, only for Diana to smile at her and she trips over air, lands flat on her face, and chips a tooth. Diana finds it amusing and very adorable, Steph is mortified.

"It's fine, Stephanie, it was an accident," Bruce reassures as he holds a crying Steph. "Diana thinks it was cute."

Steph wails. "She thinks I'm a baby!"

Dick sticks his head in, snickering. "She won't be really wrong-"

"Go die in a HOLE, Dick!" Steph yells, shoving her face farther into Bruce’s shoulder and sniffling.

Tim's eight and content to simply watch her from a distance like the little stalker (affectionate) he is

"Bruce," Diana says worriedly, "young Timothy has been following me all day, yet whenever I turn to look at him, he runs away. Have I upset him in any manner?"

"He's observing."

Diana blinks. "What?"

"It means he likes you," Bruce explains. "He did the same to Dick, Jason and I during his first few weeks in the Manor."

"Oh." Diana beams. "I'm glad."

Cass is (probably) almost twelve and very happy to just stare at her in wonder. She takes mental notes while Diana tells her her powers and nods very politely.

"I would die for her," Diana tells Bruce seriously.

Bruce nods. "As would I."

Jason’s eleven and in awe. Complete and utter awe, like serious hero worship. Can't be in a room with her without vibrating out of his skin with nerves.

Diana thinks he hates her. Jason thinks she hates him for avoiding her. Dick thinks they're both ridiculous and drags Jason begging and kicking to come say hi properly.

"This is Jason, my oldest little brother," Dick says cheerfully, as if Jason isn't actively clawing at his arms to get away. "Say hi, Jay."

Jason, pushed forward by his older brother's steel grip on his shoulder, is beet red. "Hello. You're Wonder Woman, and, um. I think- think you're really cool."

"He's very shy," Dick says. He pushes away Jason’s face that attempted to bite his hand. "Ew, Jay, gross! Don't be like that in front of the princess!"

Diana is touched and immeasurably relieved that Jason doesn't hate her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jason."

Jason shuffles his feet. "...Can I have your autograph?"

"Of course."

"You're so cool," Jason whispers.

Duke is six and turns invisible the first time he meets her out of nerves.

"Oh my God, that was so embarrassing," Duke frets to Tim later, on the verge of tears.

Tim pats his back. "At least you didn't avoid her for almost a month like Jason did."

Duke sniffs. "That actually makes me feel a lot better."

"I thought it would."

Dick's fourteen, has known her since he was four, and is very amused watching the other batkids freak out about his Auntie Di.

"I'm the best big brother ever," Dick says proudly to Bruce.

"You sure are, chum," Bruce says fondly.

AUNT DIANA WITH THE BABY BATKIDS

AWWWW THIS IS SO ADORABLE! Damian works harder than God when he tries to parent trap Diana and Talia together. Sadly, they're permanently in " I'm In love with Bruce Wayne and I'll never truly erase it" mode

(Seriously, let Talia be pathetic ex husband coded!! Give her the Harvey Dent treatment, cowards)

Diana with her sunstream smile, carrying bandages, uniquely themed, for the batkids, because one of them will almost always injure themselves when they play.

Jason's are pink with flowers. Always on his nose and knees. Dick hurts his elbows a lot when doing flips, so blue bandages with little birdies for him!

Cass can be spotted showing an amused Bruce her sunflower bandages, soaking up her bleeding eyebrow after Jason pushed her off a swing by accident, " I hope - I, get... Cool scar. Like papa."

" You're always cool."

Damian tries his best to be still under Diana's loving hands as he proudly receives his frog bandages like they're a medal and he's a soldier who earned them bloody. " You saying it makes it uncool."

" I think you're the coolest, then."

" Baba!"

Years later, when they almost all outgrow her (short Diana rights, unfollow me about it. or pin me against the nearest surface with a dagger and make out with me. Execute me or shut up.) It does not change.

" Does that feel better? Dick?"

" Chillin' like a pepper, mommy-o!"

" Steph?"

" I'll live, mother."

" Cass?"

A thumbs up.

"Timmy?"

" Just a scratch, mom, jeez. You're worse than dad."

"Duke?"

" All fixed up, Mrs. Batmom."

" Damian?"

Damian sniffs, because god damn it, it stings. He can't wait for Baba to kiss it better. " I've had worse."

" Jason?"

" All good, Wonder Woman."

Diana raises a brow, folds her arms and taps her foot. Jason, full red hood get up, slumps his shoulders as bubbles of ' Oooo' from his annoying siblings surround him.

" Wanna repeat that?"

" No," he sighs, " I'm alright. Thank you, momma."

" Good. You'll be joining us for dinner tonight."

" Yes, momma."

" And you'll spend the night."

" Okay, momma."

Diana finally smiles and pulls him down to press a kiss on his forehead as the others snicker.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

psssst got any headcanons about the batkids being turned into animals for a day thanks to some fucked up magic rogues?? (i saw you reblogged some of that shifter au so i had to get your thoughts on this because uhhhhh i need it)

(i’m expanding it to a week because this au deserves as much content as i can give it holy shit i love it already)

dick gets turned into a golden retriever and he is having the time of his life. his only responsibility now is wagging his tail when he’s happy and barking at the mailman. no stress. no worries. he can do whatever he wants now. dick will run up and down the stairs fifty times for no fucking reason and has an absolute blast. he will plop on bruce’s lap while he’s trying to work and take a nap there and bruce can’t do a single thing about it. just sits there under the weight of his giant fluffy son.

dick tries to call wally and invite him over to the manor so they can play frisbee but all he can communicate is with woof woof bark. so he texts him with his giant paws, “pls coem ovetr im bored :’((” 

“sorry but i don’t want this to awaken any furry genes in me,,, you’re on your own pal”

timmy is a CAT. because i LIKE IT. he’s this fluffy lil black kitty who disappears less than five minutes after bruce wrangles them all back in the manor. he’s phantom of the opera now. the only reason anyone even knows he’s still in the house and alive is because alfred keeps finding him napping in the laundry room because it’s warm and he likes to squeeze himself into teeny tiny spaces. bruce nearly kills him when he turns the oven on one day and it’s sheer luck that he opens it to make sure it’s empty and oop! there’s tim! curled up on the bottom rack sleeping his life away in a hot box of death! bruce has a goddamn stroke.

barbara visits and tim spends the whole day sleeping in her lap. at one point he climbs up on her shoulder and snuggles into her neck like a fluffy lil angel, purring his heart out. babs has never felt so blessed in her life.

bruce: “son please. i have work to do”

tim, stomping all over bruce’s keyboard and headbutting him in the chin: “oh??? you have work to do huh??? more important than paying attention to me??? your son??? you hate me??? you want me to die??”

bruce’s very important email to lucius fox: “mkkkkkkkkkkkkghjkkkkkkknj.////////////,” 

steph!! is a mouse!! what a fuckin ride!! she is a small squeaky creacher, here one minute and gone the next. you grab a box of cheez-its from the pantry and find it empty but for a little blonde mouse snoozing in there like “fuck ok i guess this is how it is now.” one morning bruce discovers her using his coffee mug as a jacuzzi. he is dead inside.

damian is a wee tiger cub. he is cute but miserable and will run at bruce from across the room and smash into his shins because “father!! this is terrible!! fix it father!! you bitch!!” he snuggles with dick whenever he can though, purring like a car engine. 10/10 adorable, would definitely adopt.

bruce: “damian”

damian: :3 

bruce: “damian”

damian: :3

bruce: “you will spit stephanie out right now or you’re grounded”

damian: >:3

jason becomes a hawk. the first thing he does after getting turned is land on bruce’s head and screech in his ear because fuck you that’s why. this is karma supreme. once they’re all safely at the manor he carries off a screeching steph in his talons and drops her in the toilet. familia.

bruce: “jason. sweetheart. please tell me you didn’t just shit on my car.”

jason: “ok :) then i won’t tell you”

ironically, cass is a sloth. slow sleepy girl. only three toes nothing more. she is shockingly okay with it and just,, hitches rides on people,, all day. she hangs around bruce’s neck like a gucci scarf and sleeps there for hours. snzzzz.

duke is a freckled bunny, floppy ears and twitchy nose hell yeah. bunny duke is too good for this world. too pure. sleeby twitchy boy. he dropkicks damian in the face during dinner and lands in a bowl of mashed potatoes. babey. 

a few days in, alfred calls up the teen titans that way beast boy can come over and interpret what the batkids are saying since they can’t exactly speak anymore.

bruce: “so?? why does duke keep biting me??”

gar: “well uh. he said something about how um. you confiscated his xbox last week...”

at one point bruce isn’t looking where he’s going and steps on a cherry tomato and just. bursts into tears. because he thinks he stepped on steph’s tiny mouse body and killed her. a minute later steph swan dives off the chandelier with a parachute she made out of one of alfred’s handkerchiefs and lands on bruce’s head, giving him a fucking heart attack.

bruce goes to the pet store to buy food because apparently cats aren’t supposed to eat caviar?? wack. he stocks up on all kinds of pet food and the cashier asks how many animals he has. 

“oh no these are actually for my kids.” 

cashier: ಠ_ಠ

[emixion]

Texting - Day 8 - Maribat March 2021

Group chat shenanigans ahead. @maribatmarch-2k21 ao3 link Key Mari: maribug Dick: bigrichardenergy Jason: jaybird Tim: timmyturner Steph: spoilersport Cass: casshole Duke: thenormalone Barbara: babs

Batkids

{spoilersport added maribug to the chat}

spoilersport: welcome mari!

jaybird: hey pixiepop

timmyturner: oh cool it’s mari!

casshole: hello marinette

maribug: hi guys!

Damian: Angel? 

maribug: hi Dami! Steph invited me to the gc

Damian: I see that. 

Why didn’t you let me know, Steph?

spoilersport: i wanted it to be a surprise 

maribug: are you upset?

Damian: Upset? Of course not. 

You have every right to be here.

bigrichardenergy: yeah mari you’re part of the family now!

thenormalone: you’re definitely my favorite sibling

bigrichardenergy: D:

timmyturner: woooow

thenormalone: don’t pretend you all weren’t thinking the same thing

casshole: I was thinking it

thenormalone: thank you for your honesty cass

spoilersport: CASS I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL 

casshole: you are stephy, but mari makes the best macarons

and she’s the best at asl out of all of you so

timmyturner: gasp

jaybird: you take that back

casshole: ://

Damian: Angel, feel free to leave if this is too much. No one would blame you.

jaybird: hey!

spoilersport: you love us baby bird

——

babs: hey sorry i’m late but welcome marinette!

maribug: thanks babs :D

babs: no prob :)

Now before he comes in here and says otherwise let the record show that i just kicked dick’s ass at smash bros 14 times in a row

bigrichardenergy: IT WAS 11 AT MOST

babs: no you just didn’t count the first 3 rounds bc i played as kirby

bigrichardenergy: HE’S TOO OP BABS

jaybird: haha everyone point and laugh

spoilersport: points and laughs 

maribug: wait Dami and I just got back to the manor, can we come play too?

babs: of course bug! come on up!

maribug: yaaay

Damian: I didn’t agree to playing Smash Brothers with Barbara.

babs: too bad

——-

spoilersport: ENSISJJSKSK

thenormalone: ???

Everything ok Steph?

spoilersport: TIM AND I ARE ON PATROL AND I DARED HIM TO TIK TOK DANCE AND THE MAINTENANCE MAN CAUGHT US DJDJSJ

timmyturner: STEPH PLS IM SO EMBARRASSED 

jaybird: wait what tik tok dance was it

timmyturner: ....

sasageyo

jaybird: HA YOU FUCKIN WEEB

spoilersport: wait i think i see mari

SNSJKSJD

SHE SWUNG OVER HERE AND YELLED “PARKOUR”

bigrichardenergy: omg

casshole: that’s why she’s my favorite 

thenormalone: same

Damian: What the hell is parkour?

spoilersport: JDSJSJSJ

NOT DAMIAN NOT KNOWING MEMES 

maribug: HARDCORE PARKOUR

timmyturner: HARDCORE PARKOUR 

Damian: This chat was a mistake

—-

maribug: everybody come down i made cookies

jaybird: COOKIES

bigrichardenergy: COOKIES

timmyturner: no fair i’m out 

jaybird: sucks to be you little wing

timmyturner: ://

casshole: YES!

spoilersport: i’m comin i’m comin

babs: wait there’s cookies

i’m coming over save me some

maribug: wow you guys like my cookies that much?

thenormalone: um yes???

Damian: Angel, have you tasted your own cookies?

Even Father can’t resist them.

jaybird: they’re like a tiny circle of heaven ~_~

maribug: well damn okay

come get them while they’re warm ig

——

Damian: Marinette is sewing right now but she wants me to ask if anyone would like to have a movie night tonight and if so what would you like to watch?

bigrichardenergy: FINDING NEMO

babs: baby you also say that

bigrichardenergy: and i’m always correct

jaybird: zombieland

bigrichardenergy: no

jaybird: fuck you

timmyturner: can i make a suggestion? 

bigrichardenergy: we’re not watching any my hero movies

timmyturner: i hate this fuckin family

casshole: what about a marvel movie?

spoilersport: i’m down for that

Damian: Angel said she’d love that, So Marvel it is.

thenormalone: what about into the spiderverse?

I mean it’s technically sony but w/e

Damian: Mari just yelled “Yes.” Looks like we have a winner.

bigrichardenergy: i’ll go make popcorn

[peppersonironi]

12, 21, 19

(Is this late? Oops. Sorry!)

12: Favourite character to write about this year

Stephanie Brown, easy. She's my spirit animal, so I might be doing a touch of projecting, but I honestly don't care. She's just pure chaos in the best way. Some of my favourite lines that I've written are for her. Such as:

"What's up bitches? I brought donuts!"

"My waffles await!"

"FEAR ME!"

"Welcome to Steph’s Glitter Bomb Palace, Where Snitches get Stitches™! So don’t tell Bruce or I’ll sic Jason on you."

She's also the character I've gotten the most comments on. People really seen to enjoy how I write her!

A close second would be Duke Thomas. Bliss, a fic I wrote for the 2020 Duke Week, was one of my favourites! Or maybe Damian? His dialogue just comes easy to me.

21: Most memorable comment/review

the batfamily exist:

everyone: is,,is that allowed?

On Code Orange (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover)

*Or*

I have wanted to read a DCU/MCU crossover for a VERY long time. This story is such a delight. Your characterisation (and for me an introduction to The Signal) was fascinating in the extreme. I loved the game playing and the fact that I could watch (open-mouthed) as Bruce Wayne enjoyed childlike fun with his children and Alfred(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) was the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake. I look forward to your updates in a way that you wouldn't believe.

On Batfam/Avengers Crossover

19: Any new fics to start next year

Oh boy. So many. You know what? Here's a list. It'll be good to get these ideas out. Plus, you guys can tell me what you'd rather see first!

Gen/just Batfam

Crack fic based off this piece of dialogue (came from a convo between my sister and I): Tim reached forward and poked Duke's face. "You're right!" He exclaimed. "You really *do* squish like a block of wood!" Duke Centric.

Based on THIS Incorrect Quotes. Talia moves into the Manor because she's sick of Ra's. Featuring a bunch of good mom!Talia.

Based off THIS Incorrect Quotes. Jason runs for President as Red Hood. I have so many ideas! This'll be really fun.

Loosely based on THIS post. It explores Jason and Cassandra's relationship, and how it evolves.

Duke Thomas Big Bang Fic (can't say much, but it'll be great!)

Platonic (need to be certain you understand that. There were some misconceptions w/ my Discord server) Slow Burn between Tim and Damian. At the beginning the absolutely despise each other. But over time they realise their own insecurities, and how they don't actually hate the other. And by the end they fully admit and embrace their being brothers.

Reverse Robins with Damian as the oldest (I made THIS post talking about it a while back. But I've highly revised it.)

Reverse Robins with Duke as the oldest (I wrote THIS fic, but I think I want to change this into a series!)

Cassandra as Batman. Stephanie as Catwoman. Carrie Kelley as Robin.

5 Times Bette Kane was the mastermind behind the batkids' pranks without Bruce's knowledge, and 1 Time her brilliance was brought to light.

5 Times Duke thought that he couldn't possibly get any more siblings and 1 Time he met the cousins (AKA: Duke meets the extended family)

Birdflash

Birdflash in the JL/JLU universe (based off that one hexagon by @novaviis ! Super fun!). The league is inviting potential members to the Watchtower one day. Except Wally wasn't there during the choosing of said members. So he's completely shocked when his husband Nightwing shows up. They have to act like they don't know each other, which basically involves Dick flirting his butt off with Wally, Wally trying desperately to remain professional, Bruce digging in the corner, the rest of the League in varying degrees of disapproval and confusion (at least a couple have seen Wally's wedding ring. So that adds a while 'nother layer).

Young Justice soulmate au. Dick, and eventually everyone else, knows that Wally is his soulmate. Wally is oblivious. Lots of pining and angst in this one. Slow burn to an extent (depends on how long I make it). But definitely a happy fluffy ending in sight!

Batfam Meets Young Justice

THIS fic.

Duke gets yeeted into the YJ universe, and promptly passes out. He wakes up in the Watchtower, and breaks out of the confinement the Team has set up for him. Pulls shenanigans (some unwittingly) and used his powers. The Team and JL are confused, and panicking. Because this guy keeps muttering things about the Batfam. And he has a bat on his chest.

The Team break into some ancient temple after getting info on a new Supervillian plot. They find purple clothed woman draped across a throne. She talks, and they panic, as she knows all their secret identities. The only one who isn't, is Tim. He looks bored. Alternatively: Steph needs Tim's credit card to take his sister out on a date, and absolutely refuses to text.

While the Team is on a mission to stop Lady Shiva, a dimensional portal opens up and spits out a strange Robin (Damian) and what seemed to be a female Batman (Cass as Black Bat). This new dynamic due promptly defeats Lady Shiva and all the goons. The Team is freaked out, and 'apprehends' the dimensional anomalies, bringing them back to the Watchtower. Where the due promptly break and and start chaos. Featuring "Toxic" by Britney Spears. I will not explain why.

The Watchtower gets a sudden emergency message from the Batcave. They accept, to find a stranger calling himself Signal panicking about Robin being missing. They all look at Tim, who ignores them, and says that he doesn't know where Robin is. Some naming shenanigans occur.

(Not sure if this fits here, oh well) Set in Season One, Bruce is tired of Clark's attitude towards Superboy, and adopts the clone himself. Not sure how far this'll go, but at least goes through Dick's time as Robin. (Based on THIS Tumblr post)

(Also iffy on placement) a continuation of one (not sure which? Probably Damian as older) Reverse Robins fics. It's a retelling of Season One of YJ, with Dick as Robin. Nightwing (Damian) feels protective of his brother, and so takes on the role Black Canary had in the show, training the Team. But as time goes on, he ends up being more of a big brother to the group. Cameos from the rest of the Batfam as well! And an Identity Reveal (including finding out Dick and Dami are brothers) at the end!

Batfam Meets the Justice League

Cass takes over being Batman for a bit, because Bruce was an idiot and broke his leg. This happens to line up with when the Justice League reach out to the Dark Knight, in order to extend an invitation to the league. They eventually meet Bruce as Batman, and are confused as to why he is so tall. And male.

Joyfire

Lian accidentally reveals her three parents' relationship by calling Bruce 'grandpa' over dinner.

Museum Heist

THIS fic

Operation: Seduce Nightwing. Based on a post for an ATLA ot3, Wally and Artemis realise silumaneously “Hey, we kinda have the hots for Dick” and decide together to see if he likes them back. Which involves a heck ton of over the top flirting, and shenanigans. The Team is sighing on the sidelines at their idiocy. Dick is internally combusting and thinking “Do they like me back? I’’m not sure.” 

5 times Dick and Wally fought over being the middle spoon, and one time Artemis had had enough.

Set in Season 3 (but ignores some canon), Bart is kidnapped by some mad scientist obsessed with the Speed Force. The Team mobilizes, and gets Bart back from the evil base. But when they get there, they find Wally West freed from the Speed Force. He and Artemis reunite, and everyone is happy. They prepare to leave. Then the Pick-up Squad arrive in the bioship, and Dick gets out. Everyone is expecting Dick to give Wally a hug, because hey, he's his best friend! What they weren't expecting was him to run forward and pull the speedster into a passionate kiss. They go back to the Watchtower, and some more stuff happens.

Soulmate AU where the first thing your soulmate says to you after they fall in love with you is tattooed on your body.

Post Season Two Get Together. Starts with Artemis living with Dick as opposed to Will. Might be Slow Burn? (They come pretty close to kissing) Eventually Wally comes back. Arty and Wally are back together. They both live in the same house as Dick, for convenience. Then some more Slow Burn happens. Maybe some Birdflash moments. Arty tells Wally she kinda had a thing for Dick. Wally admits the same. Maybe a touch more Slow Burn. They Eventually get together.

Batlantern

AU where Bruce met Hal back when he first came back to Gotham. Fic goes through how their relationship evolves over the years (up until current time, when Damian is 13). I'm considering a relationship reveal with the Justice League.

Hal's interactions with Bruce's kids.

Green Lantern Corp acting protective of Hal when Bruce comes to Oa. This was an ask that I got, and I'm holding off on writing it till I get as much into on the GL's as possible, as all I know if their characterization comes from that animated series, and Guy Gardener's (Hilarious!) parts on Young Justice.

Marvel

Like 3 different versions of the Peter Parker Field Trip to Stark Tower Trope.

2-part Crossover with the Batfam (they exist in the same universe), where the Avengers go to a Wayne Gala, and interact with the family. The second chapter involves them heading out the next night to try and contact Batman.

THIS fic.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

I am personally offended that you discount Bruce Waynes 5 non blood kids, like bro he's their dad? And on a less fandom wank note maybe don't imply that adopted children aren't real children? Seems bad. Just cos dc did it doesn't make it ok. Like people are allowed to ship siblings, just cos most people think it's icky doesn't prevent anything. Or people can do AUs where whatever is different, whatevs. I don't get why you feel the need to dismiss the whole batfam but I sure hate it

I’m sorry but not really that you’re personally offended. But that’s probably because you either misunderstood my post or are conflating headcanon with canon. Or both.

I, personally, as in me the individual, don’t discount Bruce’s 5 non-blood kids (I, personally, put the number at 7 because he’s made himself responsible for Steph and Duke, regardless of their the status of their parents). I just pointed out that DC does. Officially. Canonically. So when antis get all pissy and grossed out about incest shipping between the batkids, they’re not basing that off anything concrete in canon. Theirs is the headcanon. They can’t get upset when people ship “batcest” because canon doesn’t support that most of them are siblings at any given point.

I also didn’t imply that adopted children aren’t real family. I legitimately have no idea how someone can can read “the batkids aren’t adopted in canon, it’s not incest to ship them” and come away with “adopted kids aren’t real families”. Like, the implication is clearly the opposite. The implication is clearly “adopted siblings are real siblings, good thing they’re not adopted”.

I stated that the batkids adoption status is up for individual interpretation and that DC considers only Damian Bruce’s son. I also very heavily implied that adopted kids are family in the traditional sense.

Incidentally, I also agree that shipping incest fine. No caveats. So it appears that we’re fully on the same side here.