#incorrect jayroy quote

[jakascoo]

Jason: Roy, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break. Roy: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Oh shit, he texted you ‘hi.’ punctuation only means one thing.

Tim: He's mad at you.

Dick: No, it's Jason. He's just being grammatically correct!

meanwhile

Jason: And then I used a period so he'd know that I'm mad at him.

Roy: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Jason: I stand by my choice.

[elizabethhood]

Roy: Damnit, I cut my finger

Jason: Want me to kiss it better?

Roy: That works?

Jason: Yeah, my mom used to do it when I was little

*later* Roy: I need you to punch me in the mouth

Artemis Fucking finally

[maromarlade]

Dick: *aggressively staring at Roy*

Duke: what's happening..?

Tim: just wait

Dick: *starts glaring at Jason, who is sat next to Roy*

Dick: *gaze flickering between Jason and Roy*

Duke: wait for how long..?

Dick, pointing at Roy: you disgust me!

Dick, points towards Jason: That's a child! You hear me!? A child!

Jason: Dick, I'm 25

Dick, hands on his hips: a child I say

[personfrommars10dccontent]

Roy: Dick, I have something to tell you

Dick: yeah? What is it man, you can tell me anything

Roy: I'm in love with your brother

Dick: which one??!???!??

Roy: which one do you think

Dick: no, nope, you're not allowed to date my little wing, keep your filthy little slut hands off Jaylad

Jason: *popping up out of nowhere* too late Dick, we've been dating for months

Dick: FUCK

[foolilazuli]

Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you

Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?

Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner

Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes

Lian, turns off phone: 🙂

[nofingjustaninchident]

Roy: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss, what should i do

Damian: punch him in the stomach so he’ll double over

Tim: tackle him

Steph: dump him

Jason: please just ask me to bend down

[speedyarrows]

Roy, walking in with Lian and Jason close behind: “Sorry we’re late. We had to wait out a terrible tantrum.”

Dick: “That’s okay. ‘Terrible teens’, am I right?”

Jason: “Oh no… it was me. It was my tantrum… Anyways, I’m fine now.”

Lian: “You’re thinking of terrible twos, Uncle Dick.”

Roy: “You’re both wrong. This is terrible twenties.”

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *reading Lolita and tearing out each page as he goes so everyone on the bus knows he's critical of his interests*

Roy: *sitting next to Jason and eating each page like a goat in a petting zoo*

[headcanonthings]

Roy: Love, tell Lian about the birds and the bees. Jason, to Lian: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.

[jakascoo]

Jason: I love you. Roy, not paying attention: What was that? Jason: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

[foerchen]

POV: Bruce meets Roy

Bruce: *minding his own business in his study, staring at the multitude of pictures of his kids on his desk*

Jason: *knocks on the door before hesitantly opening it*

Bruce: *confused because it is very un-Jason-like behavior until he sees Roy alongside his precious little baby*

Jason: *nervous*

Jason: Hey, B… I gotta tell ya something.

Roy: *takes Jason’s hand with a soft smile to comfort him*

Bruce: *eyes narrow and stands up to walk towards where they are in the door opening*

Bruce: Which is, Jaybird?

Jason: Roy and I… were dating now and-

Bruce: *interrupts Jason with a furious and desperate look on his face*

Bruce: WHAT? Absolutely not!

Jason: *shook*

Jason: But Dick and Wally-

Bruce: No.

Jason: *getting angry because obviously the old man just hates him and he should’ve stayed dead*

Jason: You are such a fuCKING HYPOCRITE! YOU HATE ME-

Bruce: *swiftly pushes Jason out of his study and kisses his forehead before slamming the door shut and locking it with Roy still inside*

Jason: *stares at the door with an open mouth*

Jason: *very annoyed and waits in front of the door with gun in hand ready to shoot Bruce for being a bastard when they come out*

— *one hour later* —

Jason: *still waiting, hears the door unlock before seeing Roy rush out*

Roy: *quickly walks towards where Jason looking all frazzled and as if he just went through torture*

Roy: Jase, do me a favor and never ever say that your Dad doesn’t care about you anymore.

Jason: *confused af*

Jason: Wha-

Roy: He interrogated me, Jay. He made me confess my deepest darkest secrets and forced me to sign a contract stating that I wouldn’t ever take the Queen name from Ollie because he doesn’t want it associated with you. He literally threatened to feed me to the bats if I even dared to think about hurting you. Oh, and he told me we are expected to go to Saturday brunch this weekend.

Jason: *Jason.exe stopped working*

Roy: Face it, your Father loves you. Now get me out of here before he wants a second round.

— *back in Bruce’s study* —

Bruce: *sobbing, holding a picture of Jason*

Bruce: Another baby is growing up…

[chaoswiththeprettyspine]

I don't even know what this is.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Roy: Okay, enough! No more talking about Bruce!

Jason: You told me to get it all out of my system.

Roy: I had no idea how much you had in your system!

[ktkat99]

Roy- Listen to me. You're new, so you might not know this yet, but what's the worst thing about dating a Wayne?

Bernard- Uhh, Bruce's shovel talk?

Roy- No.

Bernard- The late hours they're always working?

Roy- No.

Roy- You'll never be able to steal their clothes.

Roy- They all steal each other's clothes and no one knows what belongs to who half the time.

Roy- I swiped Bruce's housecoat last Christmas because I thought it was Jason's and I still can't look him in the eye

[iwannabealice]

part 4