#incorrect quotes (?)

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: Accidentally indulged in too much "free time" and turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

[vik-the-prik]

Niko: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he like liked Apollo?

Edwin: ICARUS?

[cod-dump]

Laswell: Group therapy would be fun

Nik: … Kate what the fuck

Laswell: I don’t know how else to get John to go! Maybe if we’re there he’ll actually see a therapist

Ghost: Wait- Price doesn’t see a therapist?

Ghost, yelling down the hall: PRICE YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE

Price: SHUT THE FUCK UP-

[lavenderstobins]

stranger tweets part 8

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 5.5] [part 6] [part 7]

[mimisempai]

Better forget…

Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 1 : here

Incorrect Good Omens Quotes Masterpost Part 2 : here

[galaxymagitech]

Dick: I’m not hurt.

Jason: You’re not my dad.

Tim: I’m not tired.

Steph: I don’t care what you think.

Damian: I am not a child.

Duke: I’m not crazy.

Cass: …liars.

[multifandomnonsense]

Luke: I remember back when I knew Obi-Wan as old Ben he used used to live with his roommate Cody who I’m pretty sure was his husband

Ahsoka: *spits out drink* wHAT

[vik-the-prik]

Edwin: The clock is ticking! We don’t have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Crystal: This unmitigated poppycock?

Charles: Extravagant hogwash!

Edwin: Okay, stop.

[cod-dump]

Soap: Thank you for taking the time for explaining this to me but…

Price: But?

Soap: … can you explain it again?

Price:

Soap: The ADHD took my brain for a moment

Price: … you’re fucking joking

Soap, voice cracking: I’m so sorry

Price: I was talking for like thirty minutes! Why didn’t you say something sooner?!

Soap: I didn’t realize until you finished and I noticed I didn’t hear a fucking thing you said

Price: Oh my god-

Soap, laughing: I’m sorry, cap

Price: You’re almost as bad as Ghost! Where’s Gaz? He’s my unproblematic soldier

Soap: *wheezes*

[plistommy]

Dustin: Why are you being such a dick, Steve?!

Eddie: Yeah, man. What’s gotten into to you?

Steve: Well obviously not you, Eddie!

[pause]

Dustin: HUH?!!!

Eddie, pushing Dustin out of the room: GO EAT YOUR LUNCH!

Dustin: IT’S 8PM—

Eddie: EAT IT!! *slams the door*

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: if you normalized something (non-awful) because your family did it and then realized it was not, in fact, normal or remotely common, i would love to hear about it. i'll start.

JOHN: the villain in my bedtime stories was always the president of the home owner's association and i was sooooo confused when no one else had heard of him.

JANE: When I was a kid, my dad and I would play that game at the playground where the kid stays up on the climbing structure and the adult stays on the ground to chase the kid. Usually the adult is like a monster or a lava monster, or something. But my dad always pretended to be George Bush?

JOHN: OKAY?

ROSE: My mom never let me roll down the windshield when we were on highways, because, and I quote, "the car is goign so fast tht the wind can topple cars". And I just... never questioned it until years later. Turns out she just didn't like the noise.

DAVE: oh yknow that game grown ups do with young children where they chase you around and go "oh youre so cute i could eat you up! im gonna eat ya!" that kind of thing

DAVE: ok well when my bro did that i used to go "no you wont you love me. also im your only brother"

DAVE: then my bro would go really silent and tell me that actually No i had another older sibling that he cannibalized. i only survived because i was a cute baby and he waited too long and i got too big to fit in the pot anymore

DAVE: and it would make me really angry because i knew he was lying but i had no way to prove it and he thought it was the funniest thing ever

DAVE: anyway i only found out in school when i was trying for a "lol so relatable" type of joke with my friends that apparently being told your whole life that you had a dead middle sibling that my bro cannibalized isnt a common thing that other families also do

JOHN: ...dude,

[percabethownsmybutt]

annabeth: it would help if you two showed up looking like a loving, supportive team

percy: for how long?

annabeth: 10 minutes, tops

clarisse: see if you can get it down to 5

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Grace: Do you think Steph is.... *whispers* gay?

Ruth: I dunno. Maybe not?

Grace: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

Ruth: Hope???

Grace: Think.

[vik-the-prik]

Charles: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Crystal: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Charles: Not when you’re playing with Edwin, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[cod-dump]

Price: I think I’m in love with Graves…

Ghost: Say sike right now

Price: Simon-

Ghost: SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW. I DON’T WANT HIM AS A STEPFATHER

Price: … there’s a lot to unpack here- Do you see me as a father figure??

Ghost:

Ghost: *runs out of the room*

[tupayapsina]

Jacques: You are not good enough for my daughter

Ruby: You're not good enough for your daughter

Jacques: Excuse me?

Ruby: You heard me