#it is physically and mentally exhausting
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starry-bi-sky · 8 months ago
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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schizorrs · 4 months ago
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i hate being so fucking fragile
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bisexualbellamyblake · 3 months ago
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moonstonecanyon · 26 days ago
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(06/07-09/2025.)
I might have a new babygirl,
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ghostlygothicgay · 3 months ago
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IV doodle ❤️
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pr1soners-d1lemma · 3 months ago
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moongreenlight · 1 year ago
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Soap as serial killer!reader’s henchman and he’s just so fucking clueless. Reader yells and screams and makes him drag bodies into the trash whatever and when he talks to the guys about it he’s like “yeah she’s my girlfriend but she doesn’t know it yet she’s just a little high maintenance I have to figure out how to get her to relax for a second because any time I go into her office she threatens to kill me but sometimes I get lucky and she’ll put her hands around my neck and then yell at me more when I get a boner” 😍
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andr3yvishn3vsky · 21 days ago
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Just got diagnosed with PTSD. Who knew that medical neglect can lead to that... Well, basic chronic illness experience.
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shinfuransan · 1 year ago
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I probably deserved it. Maybe next time I'll offer a bucket of fried chicken and avoid shit like this?
I'll bite back. Just give it time.
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likesdoodling · 3 days ago
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Y'know those times when you just don't have a single scrap of emotional strength in reserve to deal with anything? Or physical energy to make up for it? Drew this because this Annatar was the first character to come to mind to embody that emotion~
@chthonion
Feel free to apply this to whatever chapter of The Harrowing fits the best~
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gossippool · 8 months ago
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wade and logan being so protective of each other not because they can't die but exactly BECAUSE of that. because no one else thinks they need to be protected when really that's all they want, and this is something that only the other person fundamentally understands
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sunnixsunshine · 3 months ago
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"how would Sanji deal with the eating habits of a toddler?" I ask myself. And then I remember Zoro is there too and how he would absolutely eat whatever it is their kid doesn't because he knows Sanji's hatred of food waste so yeah he jumps ahead of Sanji and eats off her plate most meals. And if he doesn't eat it either then Luffy does of course! Sanji rarely does it himself because it is always either Zoro or Luffy who gets to it first.
Though he does struggle A LOT to adapt to the ever changing flavor palette of a toddler. Like one second their kid really really likes yogurt so oh yeah totally, he's gonna pick up a few things of yogurt on their next stop! Oh don't tell me you hate yogurt now, the stuff is expensive 😫 you like pudding now? Since when do you like pudding!? You haven't had pudding in, like, WEEKS!?!?!?
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gotyouanyway · 5 months ago
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play Torture Characters with me
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dailygihun · 20 days ago
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day 28 || junhun morsel
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schizorrs · 4 months ago
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unfortunately masturbating is the only way i can cope and unfortunately after it i feel even worse
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girl-named-matty · 3 months ago
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Hi everyone 💕
So some of you may have noticed that I've been posting a little less and this is because I feel quite burnt out. I know I've just come back from a hiatus a few weeks ago but so much has already happened since then and I am feel the effects of exhaustion lol. And of course, exhaustion has made me unmotivated or I simply just have not had the time.
I'm not going on another break or anything but I felt like I should be transparent because creative burnout is real, especially when irl is just crazy. So never feel guilty about not being able to do what you love as often. I'd still like to post & interact but if I post/interact less, that is why.
I love you all so much & thank you for your continual support! 🥰
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