#oh I also blame Batman

[starlooove]

If ur blaming bad writers for why you only read WFA and fanfic…boy have I got some news for you!

[desperatecheesecubes]

I say I’m OK but deep down I know that if a new Babsgirl ongoing we’re announced today I’d be one the chucklefucks preordering it 😞

[radiance1]

"I need to find my darling husband!" Said Danny, dressed to the nines in a very elaborate royal dress with a lot of jewelry running through the ballroom after having been on the opposite end of a very worrying phone call.

"Seriously, what do you even see in that mortal!?" Screamed an observant and Danny stopped and leveled them with a glare cold enough to freeze over an active volcano and sharp enough to cut through obsidian.

"He makes me laugh."

Unlike those dead suitors went unsaid, but everyone at the ball (read: search for a bride/groom for the royal ghostling) practically heard it anyways.

Meanwhile over in the land of the living

Okay so Jason may have messed up. Now you see, he hasn't seen his platonic husband for tax benefits in a while, and he's been very careful to not let his identity as the Red Hood slip up before . Not even once in their relationship.

(He's not counting the time his in-laws sniffed him out as a Crime Lord, because Danny never believed them.)

Now, it wasn't exactly his fault he slipped up. You try to fight off an entire group after being pulled up on out of nowhere on the phone while trying to hide said noises of fighting.

Who was he calling? Danny of course since he said he was away for business. What business? Never specified and Jason wasn't going to pry.

So now here he was, bound 'helplessly' as Jason Todd along with a few other random civilians. Which, like, rude.

Wasn't he already good enough for this ancient ritual or whatever?

You know, he really should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device" he got that one time. Which honestly he feels like he should be surprised that such a thing exists but considering it was from Bruce. Well.

He's not surprised.

Oh, there's the Justice League now. Shame, he wanted to knock out a few guys himself- Oh, now he's being used to summon a ghost from the Infinite Realms of Royal Lineage.

Yea he probably should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device."

Wait a goddamn-

Is that-

"My darling husband!" Danny shouted, scooping him off the circle and away from the head cultist and swinging him around. "You had me worried sick!"

Now, he should ask the question anyone would in this situation when finding out your best friend and platonic husband for tax benefits was apparently a ghost of royal lineage.

"Why're you in a dress?"

"Okay, first of all I rock this thing." Danny huffed.

"That you do." Jason agreed rather easily.

"Second of all, blame those guys over there." He jerked his head in the direction of two very green floating eyeball people.

Not the weirdest he's seen, honestly.

The Observants were whispering to each other and leveling them-Jason in particular-a look.

"Now as you can see, I already have a spouse and I don't need another!" Danny hugged Jason closer for emphasis and he took the time to whisper in Danny's ear. "Did you really marry me to play the husband card?"

"Well, yes." Danny agreed. "But also because of taxes, because I love you and you're my best friend."

"So, we're still done for watching that movie right."

"Obviously."

A pained grunt came from below them and they both looked down to see Batman standing over a very unconscious cultist and looking up at them.

Hm.

He forgot they were there.

"So," Jason began, staring Bruce straight in the eyes. Batman's eyes narrowed. "Don't suppose we can push that forward to right now?"

"Yea, sure why not I'm not doing anything important." Danny leveled the Observants a look, and before either they, Batman, or the Justice League could do anything they both disappeared.

[evasive-anon]

Jason Attacking Tim at Titans Tower

Fanon vs Canon

We've all seen the versions in fanfiction but I'm not so sure everyone's seen the original so if you're one of those batfam fans who doesn't want to read the comics (regardless of reasons) but you are curious about how it actually went this is for you.

What I'm addressing:

What does Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?

Did Jason drug all the other Titans?

Did Jason really wear a Robin costume?

Did Jason slit Tim's throat or call him replacement?

Did Jason actually break Tim's bo staff?

Was Tim crying or scared?

Did Jason write a message on the wall in Tim's blood?

Did Jason's eyes glow green?/Did he follow pit rage mechanics?

Panels and details below. This is a LONG one.

What did Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?

Dialogue in fanfiction during the Titans Tower attack varies based on what kind of fic you're reading but usually its either 'time to clip Replacement's wings' if its staying a beatdown whump 'or oh no precious lil bby why is no one watching you' if its an accidental child acquisition. Not judging either option, but this ain't about them its about the real shit.

Look at these opening lines:

Hey, Tim. I was here first.You're the Red Hood. You've been cleaning up Gotham the easy way. Easy? What do you know about easy, Tim? You had a father that looked after you. You went to a private school, right? You slept in a bed. I slept on the streets, I lived in the alleyways in Gotham. Trying to survive. Until Bruce took me in. I trained as hard as I could. I did whatever he asked. . . at least at first. But it didn't matter. They said I wasn't tough enough to be robin. But today, they say you are. Show me, Tim. Show me what you have that I didn't.

Jason really puts himself out there in all of his dialogue in this encounter, the struggle of having to fight for anything and everything he got in life, even the things that came to everyone else for free, and then being told he wasn't even good enough for the things he fought for.

There's a trope in fanfics that if Jason knew Tim stalked Batman and forced his way into being Robin that it would change how Jason felt about the situation but that's even addressed in this comic:

You were a kid, worried about how Batman was spiraling down into darkness. You spent weeks tracking the dark knight. Solving a mystery no one else could. You discovered who he was behind that mask. Millionaire Bruce Wayne. You were so pleased with yourself, I'm sure that you forgot who you were really dealing with. I know Bruce Wayne. And let me tell you, Tim if someone was trying to find out who Batman really was. If someone was stalking him for weeks. He'd know about it. You can't be that good. I am. He let you find him. And I bet he said the same thing to you as he did to me, didn't he? That you had a talent to make a difference in Gotham. That he needed someone he could trust in war on crime. That you were one of a kind. The light to his darkness. Robin, the Boy Wonder.

Tim saying 'I am' is really such a moment that doesn't come through in text because he is right that he really did do that but I also completely understand why Jason wouldn't believe it.

TBH my favorite part is how done Tim honestly sounds with Jason thoughout all his trauma dumping. Like imagine a grown man who used to work the same part time job as you breaking into your house, dressing up in your work uniform, ranting about how much the job ruined his life while he beats your ass??? God, and he probably had to write a fucking report about it after. RIP Timmy.

What do you want? Do you want to be Robin again? Is that it? You... want to take it away from me? Why in the hell would I ever want that? Don't you get it? When I died no one cared! No one remembered me. Are you completely insane? No one could forget you. I've spent my entire career wearing this mask under your shadow. I had to convince Batman to let me try this. All because he'll never stop blaming himself for what happened to you. You ask me, that's the only reason he hasn't taken you down. He's holding back. But me? No freakin' way. That's the Robin I wanted to see. Still. You do realize the whole idea of training a teenager to fight against something he'll never eradicate is a mistake. It didn't even surprise anyone when I died. When I failed. I failed-- but I'm still beating you. Do you think you're that good now?! Do you really, Tim? Yes.

Tim bashing Jason across the face as he says 'no freakin' way'? *chefs kiss*

Jason drugging the other Titans to knock them out?

Little bit true, Kory was actually just already away from the tower and BB and Cyborg were about to bounce because of the drama going on with Donna's return but Jason like super tazes them and then drugs Raven who he thought already went through enough shit without him knocking her out violently.

Note: Jason says in the text here that he never rolled with Cyborg or BB but like he actually did in some comics so?? The continuity is lie I guess idk.

Did he show up in Red Hood gear or a Robin costume?

Both tbh but he spent most of the time in the Robin costume but bro actually made a stripper rip away version of his Red Hood gear so he could dramatically reveal the Robin costume underneath. I can't believe no one ever includes that in their fics its so fucking funny.

Does he call Tim 'replacement' or slit his throat?

No, this came from a Batman comic with Hush not Teen Titans. That incident takes place in a graveyard not Titans Tower and he calls Tim pretender not replacement.

Does Jason break Tim's staff?

Tragically, no. The bo staff snap would have been iconic. Instead he just takes Tim's staff and beats Tim up with it and breaks stuff. BUT!! He uses it to bust a statue in the TITANS MEMORIAL ROOM which is a place in Titans Tower just for having statues of dead previous titans and Jason is rightfully pissed he didn't get one. Like Tim is correct in saying no one forgot him still but like I would be hurt too if all my friends made cool statues of friends that died and then just left my zombie ass out, like wtf.

Note: I am seriously losing my shit that I have never seen someone bring up the memorial room in a fanfic. That is so much angst material. 😭

Tim crying/ being scared?

Hell no. He's a fucking Robin you know he's being a sassy boy the whole time, even towards the end when he's about done he's still saying he's her and I love Tim for that.

Note: There are a few different times where Tim does a flippy Robin move and then Jason just fucking copies it like flexing that he can do it too, and its just so petty and stupid he's trying so hard to be better than an actual child. 💀I get why in the context of the situation but its still so ridiculous.

Message on the wall in Tim's blood?

TBH I really don't know for sure on this one?? Like its implied that he did but Tim isn't bleeding all that much throughout this beatdown and like we don't see Jason do it just the Titans reacting to seeing it after. It could be Tim's blood, it could be red paint, and it could even be that Jason packed an actual bucket of blood to bring with him to write a message with after he finished. TBH the world is your oyster on this one.

Note: If anyone can find another comic where this event was brought up where they actually clarify it was Tim's blood hmu and I'll update this but I couldn't find any.

Pit rage/ glowing green eyes?

Fanon only at this point in the comics. Jason is seems to be himself and even thinks Tim and his friends are pretty cool at the end, and he's just like reflecting on if he had good friends if he would have turned out better as he leaves.

[hana-no-seiiki]

cat villain reader my beloved. I'm so obsessed with it already. Please tell us more.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA THEY ASKED FOR IT SO YOU CANT BLAME ME NOW F-

@sophiethewitch1 hi here’s your daily schizophrenic voice giving you even more mental illness

another short one cause im still lazy asf

I feel like a broken record just playing different flavors of the same oc/reader on my blog with the batfam i swear

tim is the only batfam member who figured out your identity prior to your own snooping

mostly because bruce’s identity was already aired out to your by selina and damian being his blood born son + appearing out of nowhere was a given.

as such it provided a lot of interesting scenarios

such as that one week where you were extremely active in your heists. like more so than the usual which was already a lot.

of course, you always tried to keep a sense of mystery as your cat villain self so asking you as robin wouldn’t have worked

so tim decided to approach you in class ( you were his senior or maybe even a young, fresh out of uni prof) and ask you why you seemed so…different or frantic lately

“oh. am i?” tim narrowed his eyes. it was so you to answer with another question, even as a civilian.

“sorry, i’m just really excited about this new limited edition robin figure of the new guy in the suit and—“

you proceeded to go on a ramble about your headcannons of the dude, saying how different and/or similar he was to robins of the past and ofc how much you admired him

this leads to his eventual downward spiral into depravation and horny

oh and unrelated to the boys, my headcannons for reader’s powers are as follows (mostly inspired from cat related cartoon characters)

invisibility/teleportation (from kitty chesire)

and cataclysm (from chat noir)

okay back to the boys

you and jason definitely had the biggest enemies to lovers arc out of everyone

like next to dick and damian, jason and you definitely hated each other’s guts

at that time you were dating dick and wanted him to stay as robin. pretty much in denial and anger, which led to you lashing out on jason.

at that time you still had hope for batman’s parenting skills and wanted jason to not take the opportunity he was given for granted

eventually you two found a lot in common and after a lot of deliberating and losing your mind with thoughts of “what ifs” and “but what about”s you broke it off with dick to pursue him

only to find out that jason was killed

people that knew you say you moved on pretty quickly. as if he was no more than a passing thought in your pretty little head.

but people like selina knew that out of everyone on this planet, the incident broke you the most

turning you into this near-empty husk, an imitation of what you were like

only filled with fear and anxiety

you would hurt people more, be more reckless

and boy do these men like playing savior to the fallen like you.

EXTRA:

i absolutely believe that as soon as you found out red hood was jason you two boned. like literally on whatever street/alleyway/battle you guys were in

emotions were high

and you two definitely cried the whole time im not sorry-

also you two always quote pride and prejudice lines at eachother

went from rabid dog that bit you several times to your goodest boy fr fr

[randomperson3736]

Trauma

Paring(s): Bruce wayne x son! Reader, batboys x brother! Reader

Warning(s): mentions of rape, kidnapping, abuse, boxing, blood, childhood trauma, swearing

Genre: angst, sad

Summary: you're Bruce's adopted son and a vigilante to gotham city, but you have a horrible past you can't escape from.

Word bank: M/N- male name, V/N- vigilante name

Two years ago today, you were found and adopted by the billionaire Bruce wayne A.K.A the infamous batman. He had found you when out on patrol with the others A.K.A nightwing, red hood, red Robin and Robin.

And not long after Bruce had taken you in, you become V/N, the newest vigilante to gotham streets. But no matter how hard the others tried, you never opened up or socialised with any of them. All you did was stay in your room and only ever came out if you wanted food, water, the toilet, school,to train or to go out on patrol.

They didn't blame you for this of course. They knew your past and how you grew up. But they didn't understand why. Even after being with them for two years now you never once did anything with them. Were you not comfortable with them? Did you not like it here? Did you hate them? These questions ran through everyone's head, even damian's.

Bruce and Alfred believed you had depression or PTSD but never said anything beacuse they wanted you to ask for help... but you never did. Everyone feard that you had let your past cloud your whole life. And you couldn't blame them for this worry and fear.

You would snap so easily, train to the point you were bruised and bleeding, never slept for more then 2 hours a night, barley ate anything during the day. They all worried about you and your mental health and you knew that,you really did. You did tried to forget your past, move on from it and be more open with everyone but the past always haunted you.

You grew up in an abusive household with you're so called mother and father. You're mother was a addict who died when you were 7 because of the drugs and you're father was a cruel man who thought he owned the world. When you're mother did died, your father never got over it and blamed you for her death. So he began beating you often, everyday of every hour to the point you nearly died.

That wasn't the worse part of it, oh no. The worse part of it was when your father, the man who was supposed to protect you from anything, would sell you off to other people for money. But he didn't care what they did to you along as he got the fucking money.

That's pretty much how Bruce came across you. It was a cold winter night when your father had beaten you and sold you off to another man who did unspeakable things. The man was also some crazy drug lord who Bruce had been trying to nail for weeks. You looked so broken and empty when Bruce had found you, his heart broke at the sight of you. All their hearts broke at the sight of you.

You were extremely grateful for Bruce and for everyone but you still felt cold and empty even with your new family around. Your past was almost engraved inro your skin like tattoos and every time you thought about it you went to train. Training was almost like an distraction for you. It helped clear your head and get your anger out.

You started punching the punching bag with brutal force, and bare hands....

"WHY?! WHY?!WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" You didn't even feel or see your hands bleeding nor the blood dripping down the punching bag and onto the cold floor.

Bruce and the others heard this and immediately stormed into the training room to find you in this... numb and empty state.

"Hey... no, no, no, what are you doing?! Hey it's okay... you're okay.... you're safe... you're fine... look at me M/N. You're okay..." Bruce said as he gently pulled you away from the punching bag and into a hug.

You sobbed into Bruce's chest, as each scream and cry that left your throat broke everyone's heart. "I-i'm sorry.... I'm so f-fucking sorry..." you sobbed out. Bruce just rubbed your back, trying to comfort you. "It's okay... you did nothing wrong, you hear me? Nothing" The others soon joined in on the hug, each one trying to comfort you in some way.

They wanted to make sure you felt loved and safe... and you did in that moment for the first time in years, you finally felt at home.

[thelesbianthespianposts]

Rating superhero/villain dynamics on how gay they are

Batman/Joker:

do i even have to say it. Usually they have a pretty one sided thing with Joker being high-key obsessed with him but Batman has no interest in that at all. Way overhyped imo. bonus points for the Lego Batman Movie 7/10

Superman/Lex Luthor

despite many factors and the fact they have a son together, there’s not a lot of tension. Plus Lex gives major homophobic vibes, (he’d make pride lexcorp merch while backing don’t say gay bills)

2/10 for kon

Green Lantern(Hal Jordan)/Sinestro

oh my god. They have the whole friends to enemies thing that you could swap for lovers to enemies so easily. The worst exes you’ve ever seen. I think they’re actually a couple in some comics (prolly an AU). That one episode of DC Super Hero Girls (the new one) where Hal fights both Sinestro and Carol and they’re said to be on the same level. good shit

10/10

Wonder Woman/Cheetah

it depends on the comic. Sometimes they’re very flirty and suggestive and other times they’re tearing each other’s clothes off bc the male author thought it’d be hot. I think that goes for a lot of woman/woman dynamics in comics tho. I honestly don’t get sometimes why they’re fighting bc they seem to have a lot in common.

6/10 they should just date

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Jesus Christ guys wtf are y’all doing. They have the funniest dynamic in all of DC comics. Old ass ‘nam vet picks fight with 15 year old who he blames his son’s death on. While I adore the 2003 teen titans show, they got the dynamic so wrong. Their dynamic only becomes homoerotic once Dick is an adult. They have profound respect for each other but they also fucking hate each other. They’re enemies, they’re friends, they’re co-parents, they’re the least mentally stable people you’ve even seen.

20/10 unparalleled

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey so I was wondering if you could do a fic/head cannons of the batfamily reacting and bonding over time with Bruce’s biological son he had 20 years ago (one night stand stuff) when he was young. The son who went missing when he was 10. And he came back as a blood witch/vampire due to his mothers heritage around dicks age now and him and dick bond in specific getting together eventually also some Damian being jealous/spiteful but warming up and bonding with him happy ending if you are willing to do this I’d appreciate it and want it so much but thank you anyways If you don’t for even considering it

Oh that's good... Vampires and witches hmm, which one should I pick.. screw it, the reader is a hybrid. Bruce really knows how to find them.

Summary: (Y/N) went missing when he was 10. He didn't come back as a human.

Warnings: mentions of murder and kidnapping, a little more kidnapping, witches and vampires, missing child.

Bruce often thought about his son (Y/N). He is his biological son, from one of his night stands. He had him just before he left Gotham to travel around the world. He came back when (Y/N) was 7 and started seeing him.

A couple of years later, Dick and (Y/N) met officially and they got along quite well. It wasn't until later that (Y/N) went missing. He was 10 at the time and that devastated everyone and Bruce was the one who was impacted the most.

He blamed himself for it the most and he carried that weight on his shoulders for years. More specifically, 10 years. In those 10 years, he adopted 2 more kids and had one more biological. All of them know what has happened to (Y/N) and they knew it's a sore spot for Bruce.

And for Dick too. (Y/N) was Dick's first sibling so to speak. The first sibling he ever had, even for a short time. Dick has never forgot about (Y/N) and he has one photo that he cherishes and takes care of. It's one of his prized possessions and Dick made if clear that the photo is off limits.

Touch it and you die.

Bruce tried to look for (Y/N), but every time he had a lead, it turned out to be a dead end. But he never stopped looking. He wasn't going to stop until he found his son. Dick was going to help him too. Whatever it takes, as Dick would say.

The truth is, (Y/N) was kidnapped and then killed. He came back to life due to his mother being a hybrid. She is a vampire and witch hybrid. (Y/N) soon turned into an immortal, but would age for at least 10 more years.

His mother didn't tell Bruce due to the mere fact that (Y/N)'s thirst, at the time, was big. He would lose control a lot and his mother couldn't allow (Y/N) to get back into the public eye until his thirst got under control.

Plus, his powers were getting out of hand too. (Y/N) was really sad that he couldn't see his father, but understood that it was necessary to get his thirst and powers under control.

He didn't want to hurt everyone. He really didn't want to.

His mom switched him to online program of his school and made sure that he knew all the proper ways to control himself. She could see that he was in pain, that he wanted to see his brother and Dick, but knew that he couldn't.

More so when she figured out that Bruce is Batman. It was the time of uncertainty and chaos in the city, with both Bruce and Batman. Bruce needed to get everything under control first, just like (Y/N) needed to get everything under control.

It was a difficult journey for (Y/N), but he had his mother with him. And his father and brother too.

(Y/N) sighed as from the anxiety he was feeling. He is getting ready to see his father and brother, well, brothers now. He had 3 more brothers, but the important thing now is to see Dick and Bruce. He knew that they were Nightwing and Batman, courtesy of his mother.

He knew that he had to do this, especially now since he got his thirst and powers under control. That was something that was and still is important to him.

Self control.

He didn't know that he would feel such fear and anxiety when it came to meeting his father and brother again. Sure he didn't see them in the last 10 years of his life, but still...

He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove to the manor. He knew that everyone would be home today and today is a special day too.

It's (Y/N)'s birthday. His 21st at that. He stopped at the road, the manor is still far up ahead, but he is going to give them all a surprise of a lifetime. He took a deep breath and started running with his vampire speed, jumping over the gate.

He stopped at the front door, pressing the bell. He listened intently for everyone in there. He could recognize Alfred coming to the front door.

Alfred froze when he saw (Y/N). It was an immediate recognition. It was quiet and then Alfred hugged his grandson tightly, not wanting to let go.

" You are alive. " Alfred said quietly.

" I know. " (Y/N) said, wrapping his arms around Alfred. " Is Bruce here? "

Alfred nodded, moving away from (Y/N) to let him in the manor. He wiped his tears, taking a deep breath to keep some of his composure. (Y/N) noted that the manor didn't change one bit. They entered quietly and (Y/N) saw his dad for the first time in a long time. Dick grew into a handsome adult.

Bruce looked up and dropped his cutlery. His eyes widened and he thought he was dreaming. Dick was silent, something that was uncharacteristic for him.

The other 3 were confused as to who it was. Dick leapt from the chair, knocking it down and jumped into (Y/N)'s arms. (Y/N) hugged Dick back, the two brothers holding each other tightly. Dick sniffled quietly into (Y/N)'s shoulder.

Bruce stood up quietly and walked to his son. Dick moved away to allow Bruce to embrace his son. Bruce's hands cupped (Y/N)'s face.

" You are alive... " Bruce said ever so softly, bringing him into a tight hug. He was afraid that if he let go that he was going to lose him.

" You could say so. " (Y/N) muttered, hugging his dad.

After a few minutes of silence, Bruce pulled away and turned to his other 3 sons.

" Jason, Tim, Damian, this is my first son, (Y/N). " Bruce said, putting his arms around (Y/N)'s shoulders, bringing him closer to him. Oh, he wasn't going to let him go. Not by any means.

" The one who went missing. " Jason said, nodding to himself. Tim and Damian looked at one another, clearly not expecting that.

" Yeah... " Dick said, wiping his teary eyes. " What happened to you? " Dick asked, taking his water and drinking it with heavy gulps.

" That's a very funny story. " (Y/N) started, chuckling a little bit. " I got killed, but since my mom is not exactly human, I was brought back to life. "

Bruce turned his head slowly to look at (Y/N). " Not exactly human means what? "

" Well, there is some vampire and witch heritage in our family. And that means that I'm a vampire and witch hybrid. " (Y/N) explained briefly.

Bruce blinked a few times. What?

" Wait so you are a vampire? " Tim asked, tilting his head.

" And a witch too. " (Y/N) said, giving them all a tight smile.

" That's cool. " Jason said, smiling at the trio. That's really cool.

" I hope you don't have any plans for a week, because you are staying put. You are not leaving me ever again. " Dick said, hugging his brother once more.

(Y/N) nodded, patting Dick's back.

Everyone was more and more happy with (Y/N) around. Bruce had a lot of time to make up for and Dick wanted to know what has happened to (Y/N).

Well, everyone besides Damian. There was something about (Y/N) that Damian couldn't really pinpoint and he didn't like it. he also didn't like how he took most of Dick's time.

Tim and Jason were interested in him, wanted to get some stories about being a vampire and a witch. They were interested in all the powers he had, both vampire and witch ones.

Damian stood on the sidelines, watching as Dick and (Y/N) were in the gardens. It's a cloudy day and they both enjoying their teas. Damian wasn't. He let out a tsk and (Y/N)'s eyes shot towards Damian.

(Y/N) knew that the youngest bird didn't like him. He thought about talking to him, but he saw that he was allergic to talking. Much like Bruce.

Like father like son.

" What's up with Damian? " (Y/N) asked, tilting his head, eyes going back to look at Dick.

" He grew up in a league full of assassins, training to be an heir. " Dick gave him a short version, but (Y/N) understood.

" I don't think he likes me. " (Y/N) said, turning his head to find the source of the sound he was hearing. A Great Dane ran over, sniffing (Y/N)'s hands.

" This is Titus, Damian's dog. " Dick explained and (Y/N) nodded, scratching the ear.

" This is a good boy. " (Y/N) said, watching as Titus ran off somewhere.

" To answer the claim about Damian not liking you, he doesn't really like anyone. He tolerates me and Bruce and that's about it. Oh and Alfred too. " Dick said.

(Y/N) hummed. Oh how (Y/N) is going to make Damian like him.

" Also (Y/N), happy birthday. " Dick said, making (Y/N) smile.

" Thanks. "

" Now we have to get drunk. " Dick said, making (Y/N) snort.

" I can't, I'm a vampire remember? " (Y/N) said and Dick shook his head.

" But you are also a part witch. " Dick noted.

" But I actually can't get drunk. "

" Did you try? " Dick asked, smirking at the sigh he got in return.

" No. "

" There you go. "

The time where Damian and (Y/N) bonded was when they were kidnapped. They were taken seemingly out of nowhere and Damian didn't know who would dare to take them.

They were tied together, back to back with chairs, in a warehouse. The place was only guarded from the outside and there were only 5 kidnappers.

" You couldn't have prevented this? " Damian asked with heavy sarcasm in his voice.

" Oh, so I have to reveal my hybrid form? No thank you. " (Y/N) responded. " Also, aren't you a trained assassin? " (Y/N) asked.

Damian let out a tts and (Y/N) chuckled.

" Why don't you like me? " (Y/N) asked, trying to turn his head to look at Damian.

" Is it because I hang out with Dick more? " (Y/N) asked and Damian went silent.

" Alright, look. I don't want take Dick away from you. But he is my first ever sibling I had. I missed him a lot when I was missing. " (Y/N) explained to Damian, twisting his wrists to check out the zip ties.

" Fair enough. "

" Did I enter the ' I tolerate you' stage? " (Y/N) asked and Damian nodded.

" Good. Now, I will get us out. It might hurt a little bit, but compared to freedom, so hey. " (Y/N) said, moving his wrists away from one another. The zip ties snapped and (Y/N) quickly worked on getting Damian's zip ties.

" Alright, there are 5 men out there and my guess it would be that they are armed. " (Y/N) said, snapping his head up when he heard something from above. It was Bruce and Dick, both immediately checked them both over.

" Can we go back? " Damian asked, glancing at (Y/N). (Y/N) could tell that he wanted to keep their conversation a secret. (Y/N) glanced at him, nodding slightly.

" I want to go back. " (Y/N) said, rubbing the back of his neck.

" We will. Come on. " Dick said, leading both of his brothers out of the warehouse.

(Y/N) sighed as he left the building.

[celaenaeiln]

Is Dick's tendency for self-destructive habits really as bad as some fics make it out to be?

oh interesting!! In some way, yes actually.

Batman (2016) Issue #689

Dick and Alfred!! The duo make me so happy <33

But anyway, it's weird that someone who's so effusive with his affection so often and readily "deflects a moment of genuine emotion." Which is also one of the reasons why Dick Grayson as a character is so fascinating because he's never what people expect him to be. He's like a puzzle box where every time you think you solved, you just opened yourself up to a hard, even more complex one wherein the process repeats on an endless cycle.

He's incredibly self-destructive in the way he drive a burning car off a bridge and he'll know it's on fire, he knows where he's going, but he'll do it anyway because the car has a bomb and it's safer with him than the civilians behind him.

You know what? I just realized he deflects intimate conversations because he wants to keep the focus on the other person. Since he was Robin, Dick has been purposefully neglecting his feelings in order to take care of Bruce's. Right after his parents died, he bottled up his sadness and sorrow because he was worried that Bruce would blame himself and he didn't want Bruce to do that.

It's always been "Tell me what's wrong, Bruce." He's been so busy raising his guardian, his friends, his siblings, his teammates, that Dick has sunk into the role of a performer - the spotlight's on him but the audience is the focus.

I didn't realize until writing this ask but self-destruction is just such a normal thing with him that it's become a part of his personality. In fics it's very obvious when he's being self-destructive or neglecting himself or etc because he's very aware of it but Dick in canon has just made it his thing. It's actually the Titans that realize this and yank him out of it because Dick has no idea what he does to himself.

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28

He's not self-destructive in a way that he's conscious of it but his habits and his lifestyle don't really give him a choice. He literally works himself sick.

The Titans (1999) Issue #9

"Maybe it's too much. Dick --have you considered that? You're working Bludhaven, even joining their force, you still clearly intend to come here to Gotham every time he calls you -- working so hard you're making yourself sick,"

"No. It's not the newness that's the problem."

People are literally telling him to calm down and he's like 'No! I'm perfectly okay. This is fine, let's continue.'

And this isn't even going into when Blockbuster blew up his life and Dick kinda lost himself to hunt him down and make him pay. People understand that Desmond burnt down the circus but Dick was still connected to the people in that circus, like he used his contacts there to sometimes inquire about things going on Bludhaven. The people at the circus raised him along with his parents so killing them was like killing Dick's aunts and uncles and friends and childhood. What happened then and after the SA was catastrophic. To Dick self-destruction has just become a part of him because he aims for perfection in every aspect of his life.

Like Donna said, "He works with the Titans, on his own, goes to school, and then he works alongside Batman..." and so on. Usually people struggle to maintain even one area of their life like just school or family but Dick's juggling, his work, his family, his friends, his relationship, his teams, and is still on call for Justice League incidents.

Titans (2003) Issue #6

He literally dropped everything to come over and break up the Titans (OF WHICH HE IS NOT EVEN A PART OF RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF DEALING WITH THE OUTSIDERS) and the Justice League full on fighting.

He's not self-destructive in the way he doesn't want to get out of bed or that he isn't clean, it's just that Dick Grayson is a machine. He's got ice in his veins and he just powers through everything. Everything he does has to be top notch, so sleep and social life and happiness can say goodbye because he's too busy for that. This is why the Titans are so important to him and for him because they realize this toxic trait of his and do their absolute best to yank him out of this bad habit because Dick certainly can't stop.

So self-destruction has become part of his personality but unlike in fics, it's conducive self-destruction. It comes from his refusal to feel any emotion that isn't for others because Big Brother Dick Grayson and Best Friend Dick Grayson are always there for everyone but the second he's asked to help himself or someone tries to help him, he flakes. He's the best at helping others and being there for them but he's allergic to getting help or talking about himself.

[damianwayne0]

In the Drawer ||

Pairings : Damian Wayne x reader

Summary : Damian and Y/n had been dating for 3 years . Damian is 19 and reader is also 19

After a long eventful mission, Bruce invited the justice league and the titians in the manor for a well deserved break. Everyone was just chilling since it was stormy outside.

Beast boy, excited : let's play a game!

Everyone : Yes let's play a game

Dick , hopefully: Are u also playing Damian?

Damian: I don't want to play with you all imbeciles.

Tim, rolling his eyes: whatever

Dick : please Dami it will be fun!

Damian: no-

Dick, ✨giving his puppy eyes✨ : And you owe me a favor

Damian, irritated : Fine.

" So what game are we playing ?" says Starfire .

"oh! oh! I know! I know! Truth and dare lets play it" says beast boy with an mischievous grin.

Jason took a bottle and spinned it , it landed on Dick.

Jason : Truth or Dare?

Dick : tru-th

" Were you the one who put fart spray in to the batmobile and blamed replacement for it?" Says Jason smirking know it was really dick.

"ye-s"says dick as he looks at Tim and Tim looks back at him with an betrayed look.

"I am sorry Timmy" says dick feeling a lil guilty.

" hahaha dude ! You really did that to batman ? That's so cool! " Says beast boy in disbelief.

" oh, that's why you were smelling so bad that day?" says Starfire with an disgusted look on her face.

"yeah " says dick with an small nervous laugh.

"By any chance was it also you who put glitter all over my bag?" Says Damian glaring at dick. He would have forgotten about that incident, if the gift he bought for you wasn't cover in glitter . And yeah you thought it was still cute regardless of the glittery mess it had become.

"uhhh" says dick nervously knowing he is screwed.

"you- " says Damian as his chasing dick with an fork begins and everyone was laughing at the sight.

After Damian literally hunted down dick , they came back and sat down , This time Tim spinned the bottle and it landed on Starfire.

" Truth or Dare Starfire?" Says Tim , smirking.

Then on then dick knows he's screwed.

"uhh dare?" Says Starfire hesitating a bit.

" ha! Don't kiss dick for a week " says Tim knowing he got his revenge.

Dick with an betrayed just stares at him . While he just shrugs.

Damian is a tiny bit impressed but he won't admit it .

Raven , impressed says " hmm he can't handle that one .

"Damn replacement you got him" says Jason to Tim while looking at dick who now has a defeated look on his face.

" hahah look at his face " says Beast boy pointing at dick, who just glares at him.

" fine, no kisses for a week I see" says Starfire giggling a bit.

Now its dick turn to spin it and it's lands on Damian.

"truth or dare Dami?" Says dick pressing his lips together so he wouldn't laugh.

"Truth." Says , Damian glaring at dick.

"How many girls have asked you out ?" Says dick already praying for his life .

To everyones suprise Damian begins to count and count and count not stopping.

"Damn dude we understood " says beast boy a shocked and maybe a tiny bit jealous.

" I don't know, I never counted" says Damian shrugging.

" yeah because who could even ask you out". Says Tim smirking.

Damian glared at Tim and Tim glared back.

" okay enough of your staring competition. It's my turn now" says Jason as he spins the bottle and it again lands on Damian.

" Seriously I got demon brat?" Says Jason disappointed.

" whatever just ask already" says Damian rolling his eyes.

" Fine , Fine demon brat. Truth or Dare?" Says Jason.

"Truth" says Damian as he sighs.

" do you hate replacement?" Says Jason with an smug

"I don't hate him but I would pull off his life support to charge my phone" says Damian.

Everyone seems shocked then they all crack up .

"Damn replacement got roasted by the gremlin"says Jason rolling on the floor while holding his stomach from laughing.

"Good one Dami" says dick out of breath from all laughing.

Tim just looks as if he saw a ghost. After everyone calmed down,they all say down and it's was Starfires turn and the bottle landed on raven.

"Truth or Dare raven?" Says Starfire smiling.

"umm dare?" Says raven hesitating .

Everyone than continuous to play. After sometime the justice league comes up from batcave to see the young heros playing. After the game ends. Damian goes into his room for sometime.

Damian than calls you and almost instantly you pick up.

"beloved, I miss you" says Damian wanting to be with her. It's not like he doesn't want to spend time with his family and friends but with you he finds peace that he cannot describe.

"My love, I miss you too but what happened?" Says Y/n worrying that something might happen to the love of her life.

"Nothing, beloved I am just missing you that's it" Damian sighs .

"I wish we could meet but this storm is not stopping anytime soon"

"you're right , beloved"

" I have a little surprise for you when you come back" you say seductively. You were waiting for him for so long because of that mission. You can't lie that you didn't miss his touch, his kisses during your time apart.

" beloved, you really love to make me suffer" Damian frowns

"hehe be patient my love, you will get your reward don't worry. Byeee love ya" and then you cut the call before he would say anything.

Damian heart beating so fast that it could beat the flash in a race . He than heard his brothers calling him for dinner. He goes down but he can't stop thinking about his reward that you were talking about. But he shook it up as his family and friends were watching him.

At the dinner table:

Everyone was seated. When Tim asked Damian if he had the cards game he took from Tim.

" They are in my room , in one of the drawers" says Damian, stabbing his vegetable with fork.

Tim than gets up to go to Damians room.

"So , Bruce did you know someone asked Damian out yesterday?* Says Jason smirking at Damian.

" oh I see , I mean he is a charming boy" says Bruce smiling.

Jon who just arrived flying says : ohhh that girl ? Damian told me about her. Apparently she tried to kiss him but he pushed her off ."

Bruce chokes on the food and Damian drops his fork due to shock and Jason just raises an eyebrow and well dick ,well he is cheering like those cheerleaders as Starfire tries to calm him down.

"He is a charming boy" says Clark repeating Bruce words.

Damian than speaks up.

"she was the daughter of Logan family and shes been trying to get my attention but I was putting her off"

Logan family are one of business partners of Bruce.

"hmm her mother tried the same" says Bruce as his scowls ,remembering those stupid attempts to get his attention.

Dick: where is Timmy? He certainly is taking his time.

Just as he said that Tim came running in and sat down on his seat. After sitting down Tim stares at Damian.

"what are you looking at imbecile?" Says Damian raising an eyebrow at Tim.

Tim with an straight face than says " Are You a virgin?"

Bruce for the second time chokes on his food. Jason starts laughing and dick is just horrid. Clark passes water to Bruce.

"Drake ,what actual heck!?"says Damian standing up .

"I mean , can you than explain why is there two packs of condoms in your drawer?" Says Tim as he puts up those boxes up in the air.

"TWO BOXES!?" says Jason

"CONDOMS!?"says Dick

"I don't think that's any of your business" says Damian. He was quite irritated but mostly embarrassed.

Damian than gets up and goes to his room

"Timmy, I don't think you should've done that"says Dick

"yeah dude"says. Beastboy

"I guess but what if he has a girlfriend?" Says Tim

"Who's gonna like that brat?"says Jason

The next day ,after the teen titan and the justice league left. Damian didn't come down for the whole day .

In Damians room

"ahahahahahahaha"

"Beloved, stop now"

"ahahaha I can't- I swear I can't-"

"seriously?"

"ok ok fine . But really? They saw it?" Pressing your lips together to try to not laugh.

"yeah and now I don't know what to do".says Damian,still irritated and somewhat angry.

"it's okay my love. That doesn't really matter"

"hmm but are you gonna wear that green one or the black one ?"

"...... really?"

"what?"

" perv" You could literally hear the mischievousness in his voice.

"Oh come on "

"Nope , you gonna have to find out"

"Fine "

"Damian, you know, we have been dating for a long time now"

"Yes , beloved I understand what you're trying to say.And I also know it's time"

"really!?", You have been dieing to meet his family for a quite time now, and he already met your family so it's only fair if you meet his.

"Yeah, I also been thinking about this. And I can't imagine my life without you anymore"

"Me too , Damian"

[halfagone]

Thank you! So this next one is a risky just a DP x DC au. Basically, Dani joins the young Justice and constantly gushes about her father Danny, with her bragging about his achievements and causing both the YJ team and the league as a whole extremely curious about him (especially Batman). When Dani finally decides to introduce them to him, they were not expecting an 18 year old who’s already ruling the realms despite his young age. Naturally, shenanigans ensue from there. What do you think?

Hmm... *strokes non-existent goatee* Now this is an AU I don't usually do... (I have a threshold for angst, as I like to call it, for any given story, and I wonder if this would've passed the threshold) I think for best comical effect Danny shouldn't be super mature like he is in, say... Off With the Demon's Head, where we see a similar father-daughter kind of dynamic between Danny and Ellie. That way the YJ and JL are all the more shocked when they realize that this is the guy Ellie's been talking about all along. Also if Ellie and Danny are only, like, four years apart so Danny's 18 and Ellie's 14 and they call each other father and daughter that would be hilarious XDD

I have been extremely picky about my Ghost King AUs recently, however, so I don't know how I would go about this. There are so many fics with this concept, I've written a number of fics with it too, and not all of them really do it for me anymore? I don't know if I just feel burnt out from the idea thanks to oversaturation or what, so I don't know what I could do for you on this idea. But! I can have a really funny exchange/reveal. >:D

---

Ellie, otherwise known as Phantom ("The Second," Ellie would always tut. "It's Phantom the Second, and don't you forget it."), hopped around excitedly as they stood at the zeta tubes, waiting for her apparent father to arrive. More than a few of them were shifting around on anxious feet, wondering how this meeting would go. Ellie had never held back on boasting about her father, and well. Could you blame them for being intimidated? Even just a little? Many of them hadn't gotten the privilege of seeing his exploits themselves, but they had seen the ripple effect across the world nonetheless. It was nothing to scoff at.

Oh gosh, they were totally going to blow this, weren't they?

Batman remained as stern as ever, even though he was just as curious and intrigued by the stories Ellie had shared. What concerned him the most at the moment, however, was how Ellie had told them to wait here, at the zeta tubes, when Batman was sure that no outsiders should be able to enter the base without the assistance of-

Before he could even finish that thought, there was a blinding ripple of light concentrated around a seam in the fabric of time and space itself. Many of them had to shield or close their eyes to protect their sight from the glare, and when the light finally abated they looked back to see a figure floating above the ground. A ebony black crown floated about their head, wisps of black fire smoking from its gemstones. A thick black coat was thrown over one shoulder, lined with a shock of white fur. It hid the royal regalia underneath, but the quality of it could not be understated.

The mop of white hair couldn't hide the toxic green eyes, no matter the fringe that laid atop of it. Those eyes were piercing, staring into their souls without mercy. More than one of them swallowed; that was fine, only the Supers could hear them... Right?

When the figure laid their eyes on Ellie, they smiled, revealing fanged, glittering white teeth.

"Dad!" Ellie shouted with excitement, floating off the ground without realizing it.

In another flash of bright light, the intimidating figure was then replaced with a young teenager, whose black hair floated gently as they touched down on the ground. Bright green had turned into calm blue, and the royal garb had been replaced with... an uni hoodie with tattered jeans?

"Hi, baby! How are you?" The teenager exclaimed as Ellie threw herself into his arms. "Is it okay if we have McDonald's for dinner? Uh, there was an accident in the kitchen again."

"Don't tell me you and Pa blew something up again," Ellie groaned with exasperation.

"Don't be ridiculous, me and your mom did this time," Ellie's father remarked with nervous laughter. Ellie shook her head at his antics. It was then that the unknown teenager turned to them. "Oh hi! You guys must be the Justice League, and... Young Justice? I hope that's correct? Ellie's told us a lot about you guys. Has she been good? How much collateral damage has she caused?"

"She burned down a lab the other day," Superman commented distantly, his shock overwhelming him.

The teenager gasped, turning back to Ellie. "You did? Aw, I'm so proud of you." He pulled her into another hug, making the younger girl giggle in happiness.

Meanwhile, everyone else couldn't help but stare. What the actual what just happened?

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Is it safe now to admit that I really don't like the Ninjago movie? Just hear me out.

As a movie on its own, it's literally just retreading the same ground as The Lego Movie. And it does it way worse.

"Oh no look it's [BIG BAD WITH ROBOTS] who is going to use [SUPER WEAPON] to destroy everything and make it into what he wants it to be! Only [SOCIAL OUTCAST] and his ragtag group of weirdos can take him down, and maybe learn that [LIFE LESSON THAT TIES INTO PROTAGONIST MOTIVATION AND ANTAGONIST REASON FOR BEING EVIL] along the way."

Like, The Lego Movie was a genuinely fun original story, and you absolutely get the sense that this is a story they wanted to tell. The Lego Batman Movie is similarly that, and is a genuine love letter to Batman and such an interesting character deep-dive through the use of parody. The Lego Ninjago Movie is just TLM but again.

And then there's how it holds up as a Ninjago movie. They adapted an existing beloved TV series with a lot of lore and unique/interesting characters. And they made it a joke.

"Alright, I'm so excited to see this movie for my favorite show. Are we gonna get some cool Garmadon v Lloyd? Are we gonna get an interesting arc for Kai? Are we gonna expand upon the existing lore?"

"Nah we're gonna ignore all that."

"...what?"

"Yeah no we don't really wanna do all that. But hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if Garmadon pronounced Lloyd's name like 'L-loyd'? Cause it has two L's?"

"... ... ...do we at least get to see the Skulkin again?"

"Nah it's goons in fish costumes now."

And also it created the post-movie era and I one-hundred-percent blame them for the loss of red-haired Jay.

[frequentderealizationcore]

If Jason's still, you know, alive and relatively well after gotham war I want him to go absolutely wild. Like murder spree unhinged, batman (idc if he's "not himself") did something absolutely horrible and so fucking disturbing which will hopefully destroy any form of relationship they have.

I want him to go oh I'm not scared anymore? Neat, I will now murder 300 people! Might as well give batman a reason to be like ohh you bad person you awful murder son I was right in robbing you of your ability to fucking function oh how despicable.

Just, idk. Of all the things they've done to his character this is really up there in making me angry but also disturbed. Like holy shit if the constant victim blaming and characterizing him as hilariously incompetent wasn't enough now they do this. I really hope this gets resolved in a way that makes some sense and doesn't destroy his character even further.

[tickle-bugs]

But You Were Mine

Summary: Still hung up on the fit of Bruce’s body against his, Clark attempts the oldest possible ritual: getting to know his pseudo-sweetheart. Too bad Bruce Wayne is the most unknowable man on Earth. Sequel to Chase the Memory of it Still.

Yet again, blame @fickle-tiction for this. Doing a midnight post and run so I don’t have to look at this in the morning lol. Also warning for mild barely even lukewarm makeouts. Probably tamer than Part 1 lol. 

Also also: the beginning scene with Clark and Lois works best if you imagine that Lois doesn’t know that Bruce is Batman but suspects him, all while thinking Clark doesn’t know that Bruce is Batman. So she’s trying to protect him from being lied to and Clark is like ‘but Lois I love him’

“Clark Joseph Kent, you’re a grade-A idiot.” Lois thwaps the back of his head with a rolled-up newspaper. 

“I know,” Clark groans into the surface of Lois’s desk. She thwaps him again. 

“So, let me get this straight.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You somehow conned your way into a fake relationship with Bruce Wayne of all people, and now you have feelings for him?” 

“I’ve always had feelings for him,” He mumbles, suddenly feeling very small in his seat. When he looks up at her, she’s glaring at him. Ah, he’s in trouble. 

“You don’t know him.” She spreads her hands on the surface of her desk, knocking aside a few Daily Planet pens. He picks them up and puts them back. 

“Yes I do.” Clark frowns. 

“He’s an airhead playboy with zero priorities. You deserve someone who’ll be honest—“

“Oh? Like Selina?” 

Lois gets very quiet. Her stare pierces like a fine needle through his throat. A few battered emotions flicker over her face, leaving in their wake a rare and unguarded Lois. Then, quicker than the cat that stole her heart, her face resigns into something sharp and deadly. 

“I’m sorry.” He circles the desk and pulls her into a hug. After a begrudging glare, she tips her head into his chest. They inhale and exhale together—a routine they’ve shared for years. She relaxes into him.

“No, you’re right.” She chuckles. “I fell for a thief. That’s on me.” 

“And I spent the night with the one guy I shouldn’t have. We can’t all be perfect.” Clark elbows her, looking for a smile. Lois’s eyes blow wide and she starts spluttering. 

“You hooked up with him?” She thankfully keeps to a hissing whisper, but he can tell she wants to shout. He contemplates flying around the Earth fast enough to undo the moment, but she’s gripping his shirt tight enough to stop him.

“Well, okay, we kissed a bunch but it didn’t go further—“ 

“Oh god, we’re both hopeless.” She groans into her hands.

“No, not hopeless. We can both have what we want. I’ll call Bruce if, and only if, you call Selina.” He pulls her hands away from her face. She huffs and smiles. 

“This optimism thing is going to bite you in the ass. How do you think you’re gonna maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t know that you, uh, work two jobs?” She casts a weary glance towards the office door and drops her voice even lower.

“He gets me, Lois.” It’s all he can say. It’s the truth. 

“Alright.” She brushes a thumb over his cheek. “Then get to know him at least. Find out if he’s the kind of guy worth being around.”

“I know he's worth it. That’s not ever in question.” Clark can’t help but smile a little as he thinks of Bruce. “It’s an internal thing. He sees me. I see him. We don’t have to pretend with each other. It’s…just us.”

Her keen eyes scan every inch of his face, even as he trails off.

“You should tell him.” She squeezes his arm. 

“What? No. Absolutely not. I only said that because I know you won’t call her. C’mon, you’re supposed to be the voice of reason here.” He squints at her. She flicks him in the forehead. 

“Okay, well the ‘voice of reason’ thinks you should say something before you lose this…somehow healthy-sounding relationship you have. With Bruce Wayne, of all people,” She mutters that last part, but Clark both hears and ignores it. 

“We’re friends and it’s good. Really good. He trusts me at least a little. I don’t want him to think I have ulterior motives. If I could read him at all, figure out what he wants…but I can’t. I can’t lose him.” 

“This isn’t the healthiest advice, but…start a list. Treat him like a case. What are some things that draw you to him? Things he hides? Things he shows only to you? If it makes you do that dopey giggle thing you do, he’s probably worth it.” She leans against the edge of her desk and crosses her arm. 

“I don’t do a giggle…thing,” he mumbles, but his face is already heating up an incriminating amount. 

“It’s cute. He’ll probably like it.” She tweaks his nose. He swats her hand away, but his spirits are far lighter.  

His phone buzzes and he checks it as discreetly as possible. 

B: Free this afternoon?

Clark smiles. 

C: On my way. :)

“I’ve gotta go.” He stands and shrugs on his suit jacket. 

“Boyfriend awaits?” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Bye, Lois.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Tell him I’d love to do an exclusive with him.” She snickers. 

“I’ll tell him that when you call Selina.” He smirks. She gasps her way into laughter, her face blooming pink. Her hand comes up to play with a diamond necklace sitting on her collarbone--a cat-shaped pendant he’s never seen her wear before--and shakes her head fondly. 

“I will after you kiss your playboy. Again.” She raises her eyebrow. Checkmate. 

“Bye, Lois,” He says a little louder. She playfully shoos him from her office. He kisses her cheek.

Clark can only smile when he hears her phone ringing and the faint “Hey, kitty” through the glass. 

….

It’s apt that Gotham is as dark and segmented as its protector, Clark thinks, because he’s never in his life met anyone as fragmented as Bruce Wayne. Everyone in the League is broken in some way, battered by traumas that still threaten to crush them, but Bruce is markedly...different. He covers the cracks in his soul with masks. For every unveiling, six more facades lay below it. 

The reporter in him finds a dark fascination with it. The lost Kryptonian in him finds it…depressing. The human in him is currently bouncing on his heels in the lobby of Wayne Tower until Bruce finally meets him downstairs. 

Bruce glides off of one of the elevators and nods at a few hushed executives who scurry in behind him. He must come off so effortless to them—not a hair out of place, a new suit and coat every day, but Clark can see the exhaustion clouding his eyes. Bruce Wayne is put together. Bruce is tired. 

“You seem eager.” Bruce gives him a practiced small smile as they fall into step. 

“I’m having the slowest of slow days. This was a much needed adventure.” Clark stretches his spine. It gives a loud, much needed crack. He’s just a little too big for his chair at the Planet and it’s starting to take its toll. 

“We’re just walking down the street,” Bruce chuckles. He bumps the doors to the building open and Clark darts out. A light flurry of snow twirls through the air as they start their walk. He catches a snowflake on his tongue before he can think better of it. Bruce’s smile grows a little wider. 

“So? Every trip away from my desk is an adventure. C’mon, I know a spot.” Clark nods to the side and they hang a left, passing under a train overpass. 

“You know a spot in Gotham?” Bruce raises a brow. 

“I get around.” Clark grins. 

………………………………………………………………………………………….

They end up at a patisserie on the East side, a small family-run shop that deserves far more business than it gets. Clark can smell the wonders within from a good mile away.

Months ago, when he was helping Lois write a scathing exposé on Wayne Enterprises, this spot had served him well. Nothing better than a building full of sweets and a decent wifi connection to get you through betraying a good friend. Shredding that article was easily the best decision of Clark’s life, especially since Lois’s pivot towards flaying Lexcorp alive won her an award. 

He buys them both coffee—black for Bruce, vanilla for himself—and sets about the intricate ritual of sweetening his coffee to perfection. This is normalcy. Normalcy is good. 

“This is the only part of Gotham I like.” Clark steals little peeks at Bruce, waiting for him to inevitably make fun of him, but his eyes are elsewhere.

A refrigerated display tower of macarons stands proudly next to the register, boasting all sorts of delicious surprises. The splash of color is welcome among the somewhat dreary day outside. 

“Hm?” Bruce’s gaze struggles to find its way back to Clark. 

“You seem distracted.” Clark pops the stirring straw into his mouth and pulls the remaining coffee out with a little slurp. He pops the lid onto his cup much slower than necessary. The first time you crush a cup of boiling liquid in public tends to change you, after all. He’s grown since then. 

“Heavy work day.” For a man so difficult to read, Bruce has never clearly been more full of shit. He doesn’t even try to look away from the cookie display. 

“Do you…want a macaron?” Clark doesn’t bother trying to stifle his amusement. 

“What? No.” Bruce withdraws slightly. 

“What’s your favorite? My treat.” Clark jerks a thumb towards the display. 

“Money isn’t the problem.” Bruce scoffs, but not unkindly. He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. Clark tries to ignore the still-fading lovebite on Bruce’s neck that he left. 

“Then what is?” Clark leans forward on his elbows. Surprise flickers across Bruce’s face for the slightest of moments. 

“…I’ve never had one,” Bruce mumbles, shuffling a bit in his seat. Clark beams. 

“First time for everything. C’mon.” Clark vigorously beckons him over to the line. Bruce trails behind with an endearing awkwardness that he’s learned to identify: slow steps, shifty eyes, and silence. 

Clark takes his time to point out his favorite flavors and make a few recommendations, but he feels like he’s stumbling around in the dark. His sweet tooth is only rivaled by Diana’s—even then, their tastes match so closely that he’s a little lost with someone like Bruce. 

Bruce stares deeply at him. Clark’s rambling stutters to a halt. He pulls on his collar a bit. Adjusts his glasses. 

Bruce’s eyes seem so warm. Must be the light. 

“If today was my last day to live and you had to give me a macaron, what would you choose?” Bruce leans close. His eyes are on the display, thank god, because Clark doesn’t know that he can handle more of that eye contact right about now. 

“It amazes me that you’re so committed to the dark and brooding thing.” Clark rolls his eyes, and after some thought: “Raspberry.” 

“Hm. Okay.” And that’s that. Bruce orders quickly and walks away with his prize, leaving Clark to scramble after him. They sit back down in their quiet little corner, the naturally-frosted window fogging slightly at their presence. 

Bruce opens his box of macarons clinically, like he’s stripping it for parts. He takes one out and admires the color, gives it a little test squish, sniffs it. Clark watches the process with vested interest until Bruce pulls out another box and slides it towards him. 

“What’s this?” Clark pulls the box close. 

“Strawberry Cheesecake macarons. I saw you eyeing them when we came in.” Bruce pokes the box again, sliding them just a little more forward. 

“I’m not subtle, am I?” Clark pushes his glasses up again. He cracks the box open and pops a cookie in his mouth. His eyelids flutter shut and he does a little dance in his chair. 

“It’s one of your more endearing qualities.” Bruce quirks a small, smug smile. 

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Clark fake sniffles. The resulting eyeroll is incredibly satisfying. 

Bruce takes a mouse-like nibble of the macaron, catching maybe an atom of cookie and filling between his teeth. He chews thoughtfully. 

“So? Do we have a winner?” Clark rests his chin on his hand. 

“I think so. You have good taste,” Bruce hums, taking another tentative bite of the macaron. A gentle, genuine smile peaks on his lips like a glimpse of the sun through storm clouds. 

“That’s the second nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Clark swipes a macaron from Bruce’s box fast enough to send a small breeze fluttering between them. 

“And it will never happen again.” Bruce peeks open one eye as he finishes his macaron. 

Okay, bumping shredding that Wayne Enterprises article down to number two. This, Clark thinks, watching Bruce smile to himself, this is easily top of the list. 

1 ) He likes raspberries. 

It takes later in the week until they have a moment to truly spend a bit of time together. Criminal roundups never leave much personal time, and Clark’s hearing has him near-constantly running to save lives. But, on a quiet Wednesday night, he has a moment. 

He loves visiting Wayne Manor. It’s been a while since he last swung by, but he adores the place. He could spend hours swooning over the architecture alone. It’s a beautiful place to disappear for a while, and he’s been doing that more and more lately. 

He gets buzzed into the gates easy enough with a lie about taking the bus, and then he’s standing in the massive foyer and hanging up his coat by the door. The manor smells of old wood and citrus. Clark draws in a big breath of it. 

He turns and jumps a bit when a flock of people are suddenly staring at him atop the stairs. Bruce’s kids, right. He knows Dick, Tim, and Jason. The others are still a bit fuzzy to him. They all leer from the landing like royalty watching a gladiator in the pit. 

“Hey there.” He waves at the smallest and angriest of the bunch. This is Damien, he’s pretty sure.

“So you’re the new guy.” A blonde—Steph, he remembers her from the Christmas card—leans on the railing with her forearms. 

“I wouldn’t mess with him, Steph. He’s tougher than he looks,” Dick murmurs out of the corner of his mouth, trying his best to be subtle. Clark gives him a friendly wave. He returns it. 

“He looks like he wears a pocket protector. I could take him,” Steph whispers to Dick. Clark tries to rein in his expression so he doesn’t give himself away. 

“I’m not sure we’ve met. I’m Clark. You’re all Bruce’s kids, right? It’s nice to meet you.” He tries to make himself look as friendly as possible. He gets a few waves, but mostly owlish stares. He sees where they get it from. 

“Is your father home?” Clark sticks his hands in his pockets and tries to kill the silence. 

“Bruce! Your boyfriend’s here!” Jason bellows. Clark bites his lip to hide his smile. 

“Clark?” Bruce peeks around the corner, then shuffles quickly down the stairs. 

“Hey. I, uh, had a few minutes. Just came by to see you before I went home.” Clark rubs the back of his neck with a smile, trying to kill the flutter in his chest. 

“Bruce, say something,” Tim hisses, crouching behind the banister as if Clark can’t see him. Bruce startles, glares at him, and then gestures for Clark to follow him. As they pass, all of the kids watch him go, whispering in a building flurry that he doesn’t bother dissecting. He tells himself it’s because they deserve their privacy, but really…he’s nervous. Severely. 

“I hope they didn’t make you uncomfortable. They can be a bit…eager.” Bruce’s smile is warm beneath the lights of the old manor. 

“They’re wonderful. Terrifying, but wonderful.” Clark chuckles and bumps their shoulders together while they walk. 

It’s these precious minutes that define their friendship more than anything. Clark tells Bruce all about his day, about his Lex Luthor exposé making the front page, about everything and nothing at all. He talks and Bruce listens, egging him on with gentle tilts of the head when he shyly falls into silence.

By the time they reach the gardens, it’s Clark’s turn to listen. Bruce tells him about the kids, occasionally stopping whenever he notices one lurking. He asks for his opinion on random scenarios. Clark can’t tell if they’re hypotheticals but he answers as truthfully as he can, chasing the little noises of appreciation that Bruce makes as he talks. 

Not only are Bruce’s masks interchangeable, taking him from Bruce to Batman to Bruce Wayne, they’re also removable. Clark doesn’t know when he was bestowed with the honor of being with Just Bruce, but he’s immensely grateful for it.  

“Good evening, Mr. Kent.” Alfred nods respectfully in his direction. “Master Bruce, you have a call from Mr. Fox. Line three, sir.” 

“Thank you, Alfred.” Bruce squeezes Clark’s shoulder. “You can wait here, if you’d like.” 

“Am I allowed to touch anything?” Clark teases.

“Anything you want.” Bruce winks at him, completely straight-faced, and disappears into the corridors of the manor. Clark’s face grows embarrassingly hot and he reclines against the lip of the fountain. 

He birdwatches as he waits, counting which of Bruce’s kids make normal, completely non-suspicious trips through his personal space. Dick’s the least sneaky of the bunch, but it lends him a genuine quality. He sits and chats with Clark for a few minutes, asking him about work and the like. He asks about his relationship with Bruce and Clark mumbles something non-committal, cheeks warm. 

Bruce, uh, never put out that statement about them breaking up. Clark thinks he might be alright if it never gets published. 

As the hours draw on, he catalogs where the other Robins like to hide. Tim and Damien have an affinity for hiding in the massive hedges surrounding the gardens, while Steph takes to watching from the windows. Cass is the hardest to spot but he catches her on the roof a few times, perched and enjoying the warm dusk breeze. He sees Jason with her once too.

If he’s learned anything from their father, it’s that staring is caring. Probably.

When Alfred fetches him hours later, he arrives at a scene he wants to burn permanently into his memory. 

Bruce is seated at the beautiful. obnoxiously long table in the dining room. He��s got a knee hiked up on the chair, picking idly at the fabric of his pants. On the table, a black kitten rolls around and bats at a toy. It’s sweet and oddly domestic. 

“Hey.” Bruce doesn’t turn. 

“Hi. Who’s this?” Clark holds a hand out to the kitten and it drops its paw on top of his palm, mewing softly. The squeaky, deflating noise that leaves him is not one he’s proud of. It’s so sweet and small. 

“Nyx. She’s a stray. I give her food when I can.” Bruce scratches her head gently. Nyx purrs and lays down on the table, tucking her head into the attention. She’s a precious baby, is what she is. Clark has half a mind to take her home. 

That is, until Bruce sneezes loud enough to send poor Nyx running. She flings herself off the table and into one of the manor’s seemingly endless corridors. 

“Bless you.” Clark chuckles. Bruce pulls a face. 

“Master Bruce.” Alfred hands him a box of tissues. 

“I can hear you laughing, Alfred,” he sniffles, hair a bit ruffled from the sneeze. Clark purposefully averts his eyes. 

“I would never, sir. Goodnight, Mr. Kent.” Alfred bows his head, sharing that mischievous glint in his eye. 

“Goodnight, Alfred.” Clark grins, settling into the oversized chair beside Bruce. 

2 ) He’s got a cat allergy, but he feeds the strays anyway. Bruce = cat person?

“Stop it.” Hearing the Batman voice and knowing it’s mostly because Bruce is annoyed is truly golden. 

“Stop what?” Clark floats leisurely alongside Bruce, arms behind his head. Keeping pace with him isn’t hard--he’s fast for human standards, but not by Clark’s. He’s made it a habit anyways not to zip too far ahead as they’ve grown closer. It kills the banter. 

“Look, all I’m saying is that if Batman started flying, criminals would absolutely take the week off. If I was a criminal and I thought Batman had suddenly gotten superpowers, I’d simply leave Gotham.” Clark flips upside down and hangs in front of Bruce, still drifting backwards in pace with him. 

He can sense Bruce trying not to smile, but when he opens his mouth to tease, karma speaks instead. Clark smacks his head into the side of a building just as Bruce slips through a narrow space between it and its neighbor. Clark flies up over the building and catches up with Bruce again, scowling. 

“I know you’re laughing.” Clark crosses his arms. 

“Me? Never. Just thinking about how great it is to be grounded.” Bruce allows himself the tiniest of smirks, just enough to be infuriating, and it’s Clark’s turn to roll his eyes. 

3 ) He restrains his emotions. Even the good ones. 

Roaming the Hall of Justice late at night is a cultivated hobby of Clark’s. The best snacks hide in the dark, after all, and he knows that no one’s gonna come bother him about a missing bag of chips at this hour. He needs time to think and food to think with. 

Clark’s feelings for Bruce could both span and fill an ocean. He doesn’t know when this happened. As far as he can remember, there’s always been this beacon of warmth in his chest guiding him to Bruce. Through every late night and early morning, through hopelessness and joy, Bruce is a constant. It’s too much to put on one person. Too risky. 

The ‘l word’ pops into his head like a dark omen, and he skids to a halt. He glances around, listening for any league members skulking around. All he hears is his own thundering heartbeat. 

Fuck. Fuck. 

He makes his way into the kitchen past a snoring Arthur, pausing to snatch the jumbo bag of cheese puffs from his limp grasp. He slips quietly out into the hall, passing by the lounge, where Bruce and Diana are laughing—

Clark backpedals, nearly tripping over his own feet, but god it’s worth it. Bruce is clutching Diana’s shoulder and giggling, stuck in the loop of overwhelming laughter that follows an unyielding barrage of jokes. 

They’re still suited up, probably fresh off a patrol, and Clark wonders how long they’ve been sitting here. A mountain of chocolates, the fancy ones, cover the surface of the table. Diana delicately sorts through and plucks the ones she wants from the pile as Bruce watches. 

“Diana’s the new team comedian. None of you are funny.” Bruce recovers from his laughter, but the smile stays, and Clark makes an active effort to be normal about it. The delirium of another late night in a row must have gotten to him. That’s the only explanation. 

“Barry will be devastated.” Clark chuckles. He leans in the doorframe and catches a cheese puff in his mouth. 

“He will survive.” The sparkle in Diana’s eye has him wishing he had tuned into their conversation. 

“If I had known y’all were partying in here, I would’ve come to hang out.” Clark crunches on another cheese puff, mostly to distract himself from the way Bruce’s eyes are sparkling. He didn’t know they could do that. 

“There’s no reason you can’t party with us now.” Diana gestures to the seat next to Bruce. 

Aw, what the hell? Eating junk food together couldn’t be much worse than doing it alone. 

4 ) Bruce can laugh--he just has to be caught off-guard. He likes to laugh (?) (who doesn’t?)

“When you said you needed help, I thought you meant with translating.” Clark wanders into the room. The concrete is irritatingly cold on his feet. 

Bruce types away wildly at a computer station with too many monitors. A pair of giant goggles on his head pull his hair out of his face. Clark leans over his shoulder to see what he’s doing, but the code flying across the screen is a nightmare. 

At the opposite end of the room, a mechanical rig sits primed on a set of rails. In the center, a gnarly looking gun barrel stares out into an empty expanse. 

“I’m trying to test new ammunition for the Batmobile, but my target system is down. Can’t reboot it.” Bruce clicks something else and the gun starts calibrating. A pathetic clicking sound picks up as targets struggle to ascend from the floor, twitching lifelessly in their compartments. 

“Do you want help?”

“With coding?” Bruce turns with an expression just shy of condescending.

“God no. I am bulletproof, if you remember.” Clark sticks his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. 

“Doesn’t help. I need to study the impacts afterwards.” Bruce gestures to a massive chunk of concrete on a stand nearby. Clark hefts it into his arms with a quiet grunt. 

“Just...keep up with the gun. I prefer my walls without bullet holes.” Bruce quickly turns away from him. Clark can hear his heartbeat pounding. He starts to ask, but the gun rig starts warming up and he sacrifices his curiosity. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready.” Clark adjusts his stance to prep for the recoil. The machine whirrs and clicks as it loads itself with rounds. Bruce types in a few things on a nearby control panel and pulls the goggles down over his eyes. 

The gun barrel spins and whines as it gains force. Clark hovers a few inches off the ground and tenses. He lines the concrete up with his chest, his eyes just clearing over top of it. 

The machine fires quicker and lower than he anticipates. 

A sharp zing zips up Clark’s side, then another, then another, and he drops the concrete, instead covering his smile while forcing himself to stay still. That’s certainly not his best idea--no block means no cover, which subsequently means getting pelted with another wave of bullets. 

Clark crumples into a flurry of giggles before he can stop himself. He curls up as much as he can—partly to stop any new onslaughts, mostly to hide his reddening face. He’s been shot more than anything and it’s never bothered him. He didn’t know he could be ticklish to touch, let alone to goddamn bullets. 

“Clark! Are you okay?” Bruce leaps over the gun rig and pulls the safety goggles up onto his head. 

“Y-Yes. I’m fine. Your machine…thing packs a punch.” Clark clears his throat to stop the rogue snickers forming a conga line in his throat. 

“I thought you were supposed to be bulletproof.” Bruce huffs, kicking the pieces of shattered brick out of the way. He swipes at Clark’s torso, probably trying to brush away the dust on him. Clark flinches under the touch and coughs over a laugh. 

“I am. It just…felt…weird.” Clark snatches Bruce’s wrist a little too quickly. Bruce’s brow furrows and he leans close, eyes glued to Clark’s stomach with sheer worry. His face resolves into tense understanding. Clark lets his hand go. 

“What? What?” He tries to catch Bruce’s gaze. There shouldn’t be anything wrong. He feels fine. Nothing pierced. Definitely not bleeding—he learned what that feels like and he hates it. But Bruce has an eye for things that Clark could never dream of noticing, and right now he’s staring like Clark already has a foot in the grave. 

“Can’t believe you fell for that.” Bruce smirks. He pulls Clark close—hello—and kneads unhurried fingers into his stomach. 

No one will ever believe him. Bruce Wayne is tickling him and no one will ever believe him. 

“B-Bruce!” Clark strains out of Bruce’s grip as best as he can, trying not to break any useful bones, but his joints keep turning to jelly. His forehead collides with Bruce’s shoulder and he shimmies rather uselessly. 

“This is very entertaining, in case you were wondering.” Bruce hums and starts pinching up Clark’s sides. His warm breath sends goosebumps flaring over his throat. 

“I wasn’t!” It’s more of a squeak than words. Evil fingers manage to squeeze beneath his arms and Clark jumps directly into the air. 

“Did you just fly away?” A genuine laugh floats out of Bruce, warm and a bit scratchy. Clark wishes he could hear more of that instead of his own dorky laughter ringing in his ears. 

“Not on purpose—shut up!” Clark aims a half-hearted kick at Bruce’s shoulder. His face burns hotter than the sun and he hides in his hands. 

Bruce grabs his ankle and tries to reel him in like a lost balloon. Clark almost falls for it until suddenly calloused hands are scritching along the bottom of his foot. He giggle-snorts. Kryptonite through the chest would be a mercy, at this point. 

A hush falls over the room. Clark dares to peek through his fingers. 

“Oh.” Bruce blinks, then the most wicked grin overtakes his face. “Do that again.” 

“You’re the worst!” Clark pulls his leg towards his body and accidentally takes Bruce with it--who doesn’t seem the least bit bothered, by the way. Every time he lowers his leg, Bruce doesn’t let go. 

“I don’t want to drop you!” Clark shrieks as if a bug is crawling on him, rather than a person. 

“Then don’t.” Bruce squeezes his calf and Clark whines his way into a fit of cackles. His body trembles with the effort to not fly directly through the ceiling. The illusion of escape makes it so much worse, especially with Bruce’s fingers worming behind his knee. 

“You coming down or am I gonna have to call the fire department?” Jesus, Bruce has a real talent for smirking out loud. Clark tries to shake him off without throwing him across the room. Bruce digs his fingers into Clark’s thigh like he’s climbing a tree and the resulting yelp has Clark resolving to flee the country. 

“Y-You’re not building a great case as to why I should!” He flinches after a flurry of giggles and slams his head into the ceiling. Plaster and dust rain down on the two of them. Clark tries to cover the crater he left behind with his hands and a bashful smile. 

“Alright, I’m done. I’d like to keep my ceiling in one piece.” Bruce pulls him down to Earth, only letting go when he’s sure that Clark won’t float away again. 

“Ticklish Superman. Who knew?” Bruce scritches beneath Clark’s chin, just like at the gala all those weeks ago, and Clark shoves his chin down with a snort. 

“No one, and I prefer it that way. Keep it quiet.” He can’t muster any severity in his voice and he’s not sure it would help if he could. The thought of Lois finding out--or worse, Diana--starts an inescapable loop of nervous smiles and a light fluttering in his chest. 

“No promises.” Bruce smirks. “I hear Lois wants an exclusive. Maybe I’ll give her a call.”

“Don’t you dare. Bruce—“

He dials her office line, jogging towards the stairs. Clark shrieks and chases after him. 

5 ) He’s mischievous. Deathly so. 

…

After a long while of staring at his pitiful little list, Clark still finds himself restless. He has naught more than a skeleton, clinging scraps of Bruce’s infinite depths. The paper isn’t suited to contain him. He might actually know less than before.

Even as Bruce beats the shit out of him, he can’t think of anything else. 

“Why don’t you let anyone get to know you?” Clark frowns at Bruce across the sparring mats. Bruce runs and leaps onto his shoulders, executing a flawless scissor grip. Clark raises his hand to support his back and Bruce swats him away. 

“What?” Bruce grunts, bringing his elbows down onto Clark’s head. He barely notices. 

“You’re always so stoic. You never let anyone see you happy.” Clark flips Bruce off his shoulders and down onto his back. He puts his hands on his hips and stares down at him. 

“No, I never let anyone see me vulnerable. There’s a difference.” Bruce wraps his legs around Clark’s and takes him down, quickly rolling atop him. Within a second, Bruce unleashes a flurry of blows that, if Clark could feel more than dull impacts, he probably would fear.  

“You’re allowed to be vulnerable in front of your friends, Bruce. That’s what makes them friends, not coworkers.” Clark catches his fists and holds them. 

“I’ll pass along your suggestion. Are you going to fight back or should I go get Diana?” Bruce raises an eyebrow, breathing hard. Clark flips them both and pins Bruce down. 

“I just think—stop wiggling—we should bond more, y’know? Know thy enemy, and all that.” Clark keeps pressing down until Bruce sighs and goes still in his grip. He knows he’s defeated. Smart man. 

“That tends to apply to actual enemies, not coworkers.” Bruce sighs. 

“Well, we’re more than that, aren’t we?” Clark presses, searching Bruce’s eyes. Bruce nods, looking all for the world like he might bolt from the room. 

“Sooo, what’s your favorite color?” When Bruce is silent, Clark rolls his eyes and sits back. “Mine is yellow. Your turn.”

“…lavender.” Bruce eyes him warily. Clark helps him to his feet and they start the cycle again. The minute they stop fighting each other’s rhythm, they find a flawless sync. 

“Nice! Okay, uh…favorite food?” Clark ducks under Bruce’s left hook and shoves him back. 

“Alfred’s chicken noodle.” Bruce kicks Clark across the face and he lets himself go down. He brushes some of the dust off. 

“That sounds nice.” He grins up at Bruce from the mat. The light haloes behind his head so beautifully. 

“Yeah.” Bruce clears his throat. “And you…?” He pulls Clark to his feet and resets his stance. 

“Can’t go wrong with a slice of fresh apple pie.” Clark sweeps forward with a wink. 

Bruce shakes his head and snickers, then punches Clark hard enough in the ribs to crack his own knuckles. 

…

Two sharp knocks on the doorframe announce Bruce before his voice does. Clark looks up from the dull light of his laptop. 

“Got a second?” Bruce leans in the doorframe, cloaked in slight shadow. He’s dressed comfortably, surprisingly, in a soft t-shirt and sweatpants that hug him well. It makes Clark wanna pull him close. 

“Always, yeah.” Clark sets his computer aside and sits up. Bruce leans against the edge of his desk and fishes something out of his pocket. 

“Found some intel. I could use a fresh set of eyes on it.” The moon casts loving light across his eyes and jaw.

“Of course.” Clark sits up more. 

“Found this nearby. I was hoping you could decipher it.” Bruce hands over a scrap of folded paper. Clark furrows his brow as he takes it, gingerly opening it up. He casts a curious glance at Bruce before he starts to read.

It’s his notes. His notes on Bruce. Shit.

He looks up slowly, horrified. Bruce smirks in full force, oozing mischief that Clark now knows is very much in character. 

“Normally, I’m not a fan of being watched. Try to avoid it as much as I can.” 

“You’re a hard man to read.” Clark clears his throat and folds the paper down to hide its contents further. 

“Yet it seems you’ve cracked the code,” Bruce hums. Clark catches the faint glimmer of that old playboy spark. Bruce’s lips tilt into a devilish smirk. 

“So, I’m right then? It’s important…for the record.” Clark scoots up against the headboard in an attempt to look casual. Bruce sits at the foot of the bed. Voluntarily. Clark stops breathing.

“I would say that parts are accurate.”

“Parts?” He clears his throat. Bruce snatches the paper from his grip. He starts murmuring as he skims the list. 

“Let’s see…I like raspberries but I’m allergic.”

“You’re what?” The color drains from Clark’s face. Bruce shrugs.

“What else? Oh—I’m a dog person. I have a soft spot for cats.”

“Huh.” 

“I am physically capable of laughter.” Bruce rolls his eyes.

“Proved that one already.” Clark smiles. Bruce scowls, then turns back to the paper. Clark remembers, in a terrible flash, the looping doodles of ‘Clark Kent-Wayne’ at the bottom of the page and chokes out a strangled scream. 

He disintegrates the paper with a precise blast of heat vision. He feels a little bad for scorching the wall, but not that bad. The evidence is gone. Plausible deniability. 

“Seriously?” He brushes the ash off his hands. 

“I gotta keep my secrets.” Clark shrugs, but his face is incandescent with heat. 

“What about that paper was so bad that it made Superman blush?” Bruce smirks. 

“There is nothing on God’s green earth that you could do to make me tell you.” Clark grins from atop the high ground. 

Bruce plucks his glasses off of his nose and sets them aside, careful not to touch the lenses. It’s a tender gesture for what is essentially a costume, but something in his heart flutters at the delicate care. 

“Are you sure?” He leans close—close enough for Clark to catch a whiff of cologne and the intoxicating sparkle in his eye, close enough for Clark to lean in on instinct, and close enough for Bruce to wrap his hands around Clark’s waist like he’d been wishing he would since that stupid gala. Clark’s lips part. 

“Okay, there might be a couple thi—“ Clark cuts himself off with a squeal, slamming his head into the headboard—the resulting crack speaks to a later promise of duct tape. As Bruce shoves his hands under his arms, Clark’s laughter bowls him over quicker than he can apologize. 

“You are such a kid!” He throws his head back and cackles, curling into the tightest possible ball that his hulking form could take. Bruce leans over him. 

“You have no grounds to call me that. You’re giggling.” Bruce raises an eyebrow, 

“Because you’re t-tickling—” Clark regretfully finishes his sentence with a snort. Bruce lights up and chases the sound, relentlessly working his fingers into the grooves of his ribs. Clark hits his head again--there goes the rest of the headboard. And part of the wall.

Between the buzz of being touched by Bruce and being unused to this kind of touch, Clark melts into a haphazard pile of Superman with embarrassing speed. Bruce manages to work his fingers up further, right into his top rib, and he punches a hole directly into the nightstand, sending the lamp toppling over. Bruce relents then, passively assessing the damage while Clark drags in a deep breath. 

“You really think it’s a good idea to tickle someone who could throw you into the sun?” Clark huffs, wobbling on a smile. Bruce smirks. 

“Never said it was a good idea. Just an alluring one.” 

“You find me alluring? Scandalous, Mr. Wayne.” Clark offers a teasing grin. Bruce’s brow crinkles with concern. He goes from fiddling with Clark’s waist to fiddling with his hands. 

Bruce gets tactile when he’s stressed. Or when something’s on his mind.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Clark asks softly. He scoots just a bit closer. 

“The day after the gala, I had Vicki write up a piece about you and I splitting. Like I promised. It was never published.” 

“I noticed,” Clark says carefully, tracking every detail of Bruce’s face. 

“I asked her not to.” 

“Why?”

“I knew if the article went live, you would stop with the affection and the dates. I know it was only for appearances, but…I really enjoyed it. I wasn’t ready to let it go. I…care about you.” Bruce looks up at him, worry entrenched in the dips of his face. It slips to something resigned and neutral, a blank mask. 

Clark smiles like a lunatic, covering his mouth to hide it. He contains the desperate urge to take a lap around the manor. Months, years, of pining bloom into sweet possibility within him. The weight of guilt sloughs off his shoulders. Bruce likes him. 

“Y’know, for the smartest man in Gotham, you miss quite a lot.” Clark leans in and waits. Bruce’s eyes flick to Clark’s lips, and in a Batman-esque flash of motion, he swoops down and kisses him. Their bodies slot together almost magnetically. Clark flips them over and bears back down, swallowing Bruce’s gasp of surprise in his mouth. 

In an insane way, kissing Bruce is like coming home. 

He flings his arms around Clark’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Clark immediately, greedily, lets his lips travel along Bruce’s pulse point. He chases the memory of the gala, littering desperate bruises along the cologne-tinged skin. His hand lingers at the base of his throat, brushing reverent fingers as he marks every inch available to him. 

Bruce yelps into a giggle, breaking them apart. Clark blinks, processing, then grins with unbridled power. 

“This feels…counter-productive.” Bruce swallows, bobbing Clark’s hand. His skin is hot and red to the touch. 

“Nice try. You already enabled me—that was your first mistake.” Clark tickles him everywhere he can reach, dodging elbows and headbutts. Bruce cackles from his core, stumbling through a few high-pitched syllables of protest as he twists. He works so hard to force his voice back into its usual octave that it cracks. Clark snickers. 

“I am going to kill you,” Bruce growls, reaching back to return the favor. Clark slams his arm down on the mattress, caressing the back of his hand with immovable fingertips. 

“Then this is a wonderful last night on Earth.” Clark nibbles on his earlobe. Bruce’s giggly scream and the ensuing threats on his life are music to Clark’s ears.

[002yb]

I cried during your whole reply to the late ask. But please consider: Dick can't stand to look at Jaybin bc he feels too guilty and sad and he still thinks its his fault. And little jaybin is sad bc nothing has changed Dick still haces him no matter how much he loves him and Jason goes full mother on him bc a) he gets it, those are his feelings b) its a kid and Jason cant stand to look at a kid sad and c) if no one is looking out for him he might as well do. Damian is very !!!! Bc his position as jasons baby is in danger but also thats Jason as a *baby*. And Jason is just mothering two kids and Dick is taken out at the knees bc Jasons so perfect and protective and omG he wants to cry everytime he sees them. (Bruce is crying ln the corner and staring holes onto them) (Jason confronts Dick about making Jaybin sad and Dick cries)

Im so sorry this is so long but i got thoughts that i wanted to share bc your posts always make me happy<33 hope youre doing good and take it slow and one step at a time<3 love u<3

The angst potential from this angle of the double-Jay!AU, oh dear. It hurts in a different way from this post. But yes, let's explore:

Where Jaybin is so excited to see what's become of the future. He's eager to see how his small family is doing and if it's grown, what all Batman & Robin have achieved - what Jason has accomplished. More than anything, he wants to know that all their efforts have made a difference for Gotham.

Needless to say, Jaybin is left...unmoored, for lack of better words.

Because everything is wrong.

Bruce won't look at him. Dick still avoids him. Gotham is still fucked up. And just - Jaybin is welcome in the mansion, but it doesn't take a detective to realize that future Jason is estranged because everyone hates him, too

And ughhh, Jaybin trying to mend those burned bridges because he's alone and without proper support, but it's like he's a ghost

So, because Jaybin knows that it must be his fault, he singles out Jason. Without really understanding what happened, Jaybin blames himself and tells Jason to fix it.

Because Jaybin wants his dad back. He wants his family.

Jason being blindsided by 'his' upset feelings although they're nothing new. He's sat with them for years. No one understands more than him how fucking bad this grief hurts.

But Jason is Jason and while he feels a compulsion to help, the subject matter strikes him dumb temporarily

So Jaybin grieves because he can't understand what went wrong. Something something, he lashes out and says some cruel things about how they should just die

And that's what Damian overhears and like. This boy does not take kindly to the cruelty.

There's a Damian/Jaybin throwdown that finally snaps Jason back into action. He separates them and sends Damian off with a promise to tend to him later, but for now - Jaybin

With Jason patching Jaybin up. And them having a bit of a heart to heart.

Where Jason hears out everything that's bothering Jaybin and answering as patiently/kindly as he can. Things with Bruce? Can't fix that. Gotham? Work in progress. Bat methods are a joke, so he's trying his own thing.

And Dick?

What about him?

Jaybin kicking out his leg and grumbling about how Dick still hates them. He avoids Jaybin like the plague.

Jason being surprised at that. While it made sense back in Jaybin's timeline (something Jason has begrudgingly come to understand), Dick seems the sort to capitalize on a situation like this. Jaybin is, objectively, darling. And easily teased.

Jason grumbling about how Jaybin must have that crush by this point in time, huh?

Jaybin flustering because what? No. Shut up.

Jason snickering, then getting melancholic and soft. He shrugs and admits nothing comes of it. Better to give it up.

Have you?

It's the biggest call out.

It's not something Jason is dealing with, so he slaps a bandage on Jaybin's face and goes to tend to Damian

Which leads to sleepovers at Jason's flat. Where Damian bristles like a territorial cat because Jaybin is encroaching on Damian's Jason/space/etc. The only reason Damian behaves himself and begrudgingly looks after Jaybin is because Jason requests it of him. Damian definitely isn't happy about it though.

Which leads to a whole other side plot of Damian learning about who Jason was before he grew to be what he is. And Damian recognizing qualities he really loves about Jason in Jaybin, but also the differences. Like how all Jason's jagged edges aren't yet so piercing. Jaded, but not yet wrecked.

And of course Damian falls in love with Jason all over again contemplates his discoveries to Dick. Who is fondly reminiscent because he remembers well and sees it all, too. ;U;

But what's more? Dick recounting stories of the sparse times Jason and he were together. Damian noticing how Dick is so soft and melancholic and regretful.

Which, like - just hang out with him? Jaybin is here. Now's the time to make things right.

Which Dick is adamantly against because he's of the mindset that he'll make things worse. He always does with Jason. And Damian is fully just l: because really, Grayson? Pathetic. He wasn't there before; be there now. If Damian knows anything with any certainty, it's that Dick is unashamedly relentless. Is Damian wrong? )<

More than anyone, Damian knows the importance of Dick just…showing up. So.

Which leads to Dick asking Jaybin to go on patrol with him.

Needless to say, Jaybin, Jason, and Damian are dumbstruck because what

Jason and Damian? Jealous af (though Jason bites his tongue while Damian spits and sputters because he's Robin, damn it). Jaybin though? Starry eyed with the most brilliant of smiles

Commence a lot of Dick and Jaybin bonding as Dick steps up in the way he couldn't before. All while Jason and Damian get all huffy and petulant in the background.

But it's cool because Jaybin invites Dick over for dinner at Jason's one night. Which forces Dick and Jason to spend time together in a domestic capacity. But before that:

Dick being let inside the flat by Jaybin. And Jason peers around the corner to the kitchen because who the fuck?

His eyes going wide because wtf is Dick doing here?

'Whatever it is - it wasn't me.'

Which makes Dick grimace because he's not here on a case, Jaybin invited him

Jason being all wary because that's just how things are at this point. Still, he lets Jaybin have his company. It's fine. It's whatever. Jason was cooking extra anyway.

And yeah, something something Dick watching Jason be a caretaker

Dick minding his own business before Damian kicks him beneath the table and glowers at him because: 'don't get any ideas, Grayson.'

To which Dick is !! because what? No! No, no.

It's just surprising/disarming/sweet, is all. Dick's never seen Jason in this capacity. //3///

And yes. More dinners. Family patrols. Dick being brought more into the loop and Jason begrudgingly allowing Dick into their family unit space. Something something, Dick running errands after work or bringing home food. Everyone going out for some outings. Joint patrols. Just strong family vibes that heal all of them, tbh. ;U;

[tourettesdog]

DP x DC prompt where, after an identity reveal gone wrong, Jazz (who is freshly 18) grabs Danny and takes him to live in Gotham where she has a scholarship. Between Danny’s ghost powers and their parents’ hatred of Gotham (something about a ghost convention gone Very Badly, and Bruce Wayne refusing to fund their research), they’re willing to risk the crime rates. 

Danny can’t resist doing his Phantom thing because of his Obsession, and within about 2.5 weeks Bruce is fighting Jazz for custody rights of him. Well, not really fighting since they could absolutely use a financial backer so Jazz can focus on school. Jazz also likes the idea of Danny getting proper training from Batman to keep him safe, since she can’t just make him stop fulfilling his Obsession.

They’ve been staying in the manor for about a week when Danny and Jazz realize that they’ve completely forgotten to address Dani. She’s continued her traveling for the last several months, but Dani told them on her last visit she was getting a bit lonely and wanted to try schooling-- after first visiting Australia, that is. 

Danny and Jazz have kept in touch with Sam and Tucker, so they know that their friends will be able to steer Dani away from Amity Park and in their direction once she gets back... But, oh Ancients, now they have to actually address the clone in the room. And probably face a massive lecture from Bruce once he realizes they never mentioned their youngest sibling (and that they also just let her fly off to Australia by herself for two months without even a cellphone).

They’re not really concerned about the bats accepting Dani (they’ve already accepted that Danny is half ghost, which is a pretty high bar to cross), but they are Very concerned about the Questions her presence will invoke. 

Danny and Jazz have managed to keep a lot of Danny’s Bigger ghost exploits under wraps (especially the time travel), but they know Bruce is going to take one look at Dani and it’s going to open up the “Hey so my arch nemesis is Vlad Masters-- yes I have an arch nemesis, and yes that Vlad Masters-- he cloned me-- why? Oh, he’s a halfa like me haha funny story-- oh and it Might be a problem if he ever finds out we’re here so you can’t confront him about any of this” can of worms.

Danny can’t be sure if Bruce will respect his tentative truce with Vlad. He’s pretty sure his new brothers and sisters will want to flog the man within an inch of his fruitloop (after)life if they ever find out about how many times he’s electrocuted Danny.

So at this point they’re just waiting for Sam and Tucker to warn them of Dani’s arrival— and trying to come up with a good cover story in the meantime. They MIGHT be able to pass Dani off as his twin (between Danny being trans and Dani mercilessly catching up to him in height, it seems doable). Only... they’re pretty sure Bruce will call immediate bullshit on them being twins once he tries to find paperwork about Dani. Hell, he probably already has access to Danny and Jazz’s birth certificates and would definitely notice a third one just magically appear (if they even managed to falsify one).

Their next idea (and the winning plan) is to be truthful about Dani being a clone, but to lie about her origins. They decide to pin all of the blame on Pariah Dark since he can’t exactly dispute clone fatherhood rights from his sarcophagus. Boom-- scapegoat.

Within the week, they get a text from Tucker saying Dani is on her way. Within the day, she’s on the front step of Wayne Manor. Dani’s hair is shorter than last time, she’s now exactly Danny’s height, and she looks a little too like him for it to not raise immediate red flags with a family of paranoid bats and birds.

It’s an absolute mess as they try to introduce Dani to the family. Just an absolute plethora of questions about clones and twins. (Apparently, the Waynes have dealt with clones before and are Very concerned? Danny didn’t even mention the word clone, they just brought that shit up in the foyer like it was common knowledge. He has to unpack that later.) 

Jason happens to be there, and he’s just staring at Dani the entire time, trying to decide if it’s worth asking why Danny’s new twin(?) feels as dead as he does.

Dani, meanwhile, hears clones mentioned and just blurts out:

“Wait, did Vlad clone you guys too?”

Danny and Jazz belatedly realize they should have ran their plan by Sam and Tucker first. In a panic, they try to pass Vlad off as Pariah Dark’s real name.

Tim just looks up the one (1) Vlad in Amity Park and it spirals from there.