#the internet here is so fucking back i have half a mind to run to the nearest cafe and steal theirs to upload my garbage

[lanatusnebula]

X got an upgrade, Zero!

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[bitterbutblue]

What if i request Robin x Fem!Reader where Robin felt a bit pressured from the media and as her beloved girlfriend you help her relief stress :33

It can be fluff or smut, i dont rlly care i just want more Robinnn content :333

Thank you in advance!!!

Also can i be 🍷 anon? :3

you're not bad, but rather good ☆ robin x fem!reader

~ omg hi!!!! ur my first anon this is so exciting.... i don't do smut but i can totally do fluff.. anything 4 u <3

gonna start naming out the song lyrics i've been using as titles

loveable ~ jo yuri <3 ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Robin's recent comeback- a miserable failure.

Robin's new EP 'Welcome To My World' has been nothing but a colossal failure. With each new album, Robin continues to disappoint- fans are sick of her low effort songs and lack of stage presence. Her comeback stage shows her clearly lack of passion. Just because she has made a name for herself does not mean she can now slack off on stage when fans pay thousands to see her-

You closed the article before you finished reading it. If you continued, you probably would've ended up throwing your phone across the room or do something along the lines of that sort of stupidity that you would end up regretting later. That article was like a knife through the heart for Robin but for you it was a knife through the author's decaying and bleeding out body as you stab that fucker over and over again. Okay, maybe that was too violent but fuck you can't stand to see people say such bullshit about your girlfriend. She called you at work, crying and saying she couldn't do it anymore. You could barely make out her words through her sobs and the bad signal (which led you to believe she was hiding in the bathroom).

"I worked so hard, I don't know what they want from me. I can't-"

"Robin, baby, deep breaths- okay? I'm right here, it's okay."

It infuriates you, how people can run their mouths and say whatever bullshit that comes to their mind just because they're not satisfied with their own miserable lives. Just because they feel like dragging someone down would perhaps make themselves feel better about the fact that someone half their age is more successful than they will ever be. You want to tell her that you'll fucking find them and make their life a living hell but that's definitely not what she wants to hear right now.

"What do they want from me? I'm so tired, I don't wanna do this anymore."

All you really could do was continue to comfort her, hoping that she can pick up what you're saying through the static and cut offs due to bad internet. You just stayed with her until her cries became sniffles and she stated that she has to go before they suspect anything. You swallowed back your worry and just nodded.

"Okay. I love you, Robin.

You can feel her smile from across the phone.

"I love you."

That night you spent the entire evening in the kitchen, prancing around and trying not to burn the eight things you have going on the stove as you flip through your phone to find that recipe for the thing in the oven that looks horrifically bad.

"Ah fuck..."

You check the time- 8:03, she should be back soon. You finally find the recipe page and you feel your heart drop. Fuck, you were supposed to bake it for 30 minutes- not 50! No wonder that shit looked so wrong! You scramble to pull it out of the oven, the timer with 5 minutes left. You groan when you see how it looks- first it looked wrong and now it was probably burnt too. So much for making your girlfriend's favourite dessert.

"Love?"

The soft voice startles you, yelping as you dropped the cake pan.

"Shit!"

Robin stands there in all her glory. She looks exhausted, eye bags worse than before and shoulders sagged but to you she was still the most beautiful woman you have ever laid your eyes on.

"Everything okay?"

She tries to smile at you but it looks so forced. You feel your heart clenching in your chest as you pick up the cake pan from the ground, moving it back onto the counter.

"Baby, just let me take care of you tonight?"

You pull her in close, hugging her tight. She freezes at first, before completely melting in your grasp. She lets out a shaky sigh as she buries her head in the crook of your neck.

"I missed you."

Her voice is muffled against your shoulder but you just smile as you tiptoe to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I missed you so much, baby." You pull away, cupping her face with your hands as you brush your thumb against her cheek. "You look beautiful."

"Don't lie."

She gets flustered so easily, face turning pink as she looks away but she can't stop the small smile from forming on her face.

"I'm not. You look beautiful."

She sighs as she looks back at you, and the tired expression on your usual warm and happy girlfriend really does hurt you. The way the media can tear people down into nothing but the most insecure parts of themselves has always rubbed the wrong way with you but watching it happen to the one you love most is absolutely heartbreaking.

"I made you dinner?"

"I saw."

Her smile is not as forced now as she looks around the kitchen, a soft giggle escaping her lips.

"Quite a mess you made."

You just shoot an embarrassed grin at her as you tried to hide the cake pan behind your back.

"Well, I'm not a good cook."

"I think you did amazing."

She steps forward, caging you between the counter and herself.

"You make the worst days brighter, you know?"

"You make each of my days better. It's only fair I do the same to you."

Robin looks down, playing with her hands.

"I don't deserve you."

"Oh shut up."

The kiss was soft, gentle and loving. She cups your cheeks as she steps closer, bodies pressed against each other as you pour all the love you can convey through a simple act.

"I love you. I really love you so much, Robin." You say breathlessly to her when you pull away. She doesn't say much, only resting her head on your shoulder as she takes your hand into her own, lacing your fingers together.

"And I'm so proud of you for your new comeback. You've worked so hard and it paid off. You keep outdoing yourself and the people who don't see that can fuck off and die."

She sighs.

"No need for the violence, yeah?"

"Violence is always the answer."

You feel your heart flutter when she lets out a soft laugh, like a songbird's first melody of a new spring.

"You do whatever you want." She says, resting a hand on your chest as she leans in to press a quick but soft kiss to your lips. "Thank you- for this."

"Always."

The food you cooked was mostly inedible- resorting to the two of you ordering takeout together but you couldn't care less about the burnt cakes or undercooked mac and cheese. Robin is smiling again, and that's all you wanted to achieve for the night.

Response to: Robin's recent comeback- a miserable failure.

Robinsdog: op do u not have a life

servallandau_official: No one thinks this.

⤷ talesofthewinterlandsfan222: serval spitting facts but also what r u diong here

⤷ servallandau_official: Do I know you?

⤷ talesofthewinterlandsfan222: ENEVRMIND

march4robin: im giong to find u my entire crew is oing to find u we will run out train into u

galaticstelleballer: i am also going to run my train into u. and my bat. both at the same time.

⤷ dh: Guys please.

Sunday_Oakfamily: We are taking this post and the writer off the platform.

The article you are searching for no longer exists.

[paperstorm]

Is it Wednesday already 🥴 3x17 missing moment is nearing completion. Proposal here we come. I am in a dusty archive with terrible internet this today so I have this scheduled, excited to read all your snippets when I get home!

-

“Hey, baby,” TK pants, smiling at Carlos as he steps into their apartment.

He watches, feeling a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, as Carlos stops in his tracks and for a moment just stares across the room at him. TK cocks his head to one side, confused, and slows his speed. He sits back down onto the padded seat as Carlos turns to close and lock the door behind him.

“How was your day?” TK asks, reaching for the towel he’d slung over the handlebars so he can wipe at his damp face. His legs peddle slowly, letting himself come down from the zenith of his workout. He’s already a little light-headed, endorphins kicking in and leaving him buzzing.

“Fine,” Carlos says evenly, dropping his bag down and making his way across the room. His shoes click on the poured concrete, measured and metronomic as he approaches.

“Hey,” TK says again, laughing a little in confusion, as within seconds Carlos goes from yards away from him by the door to right in front of him.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Carlos murmurs, reaching for him and running his hands up TK’s arm, his shoulder, down his bare chest.

Caught off guard, TK giggles and stumbles a little, having to grab for the handlebar to keep himself from falling off the bike.

“Look at you,” Carlos rasps. TK gets a brief glimpse of the black that’s taken over his irises and finally his brain catches up with what’s happening. It shouldn’t have taken so long, they’ve both been so into each other lately that TK seems to spend more time with his legs in the air than he spends doing almost anything else, but his stomach flips once he realizes.

“Oh.”

Carlos steps in closer, chest against his arm so TK lifts it and wraps it around Carlos’s shoulders half a second before Carlos surges forward and kisses him hard enough to bruise. TK mmph’s into it, another surprised and breathless laugh tickling the back of his throat as Carlos’s tongue is in his mouth of all of a sudden.

“Babe, I’m sweaty,” TK protests half-heartedly, aware that his wet armpit is pressing against the shoulder of Carlos’s nice shirt.

“Yeah,” Carlos agrees shortly, in a way that communicates it’s the very opposite of a problem for him. He attaches his lips to TK’s neck, inhaling deeply like his damp skin is the best thing Carlos has ever smelled; big hands enclosing TK’s waist and squeezing him while TK struggles to balance on the small bicycle seat.

“What got into you, today?”

“Nothing. I had the most boring day of all time, spent like two hours on my phone playing Angry Birds and half listening to Lexi tell me why Lemonade is the best album of all time.” Carlos licks a stripe up his throat.

TK swallows as desire stirs in his groin and sends blood southward.

“And then you,” he continues, in a voice that’s low and rough and sending rocket fire right to TK’s quickly hardening cock, “who insisted on putting an exercise bike in the middle of my dining room not once, but twice – ”

“I didn’t insist shit,” TK interrupts, a cramp starting to ache in his hip from the awkward way he’s twisted and hissing softly when Carlos lightly grazes teeth over the junction of his neck and shoulder, “you put it there twice, I asked both times if you wanted it somewhere else.”

Carlos continues as if he hadn’t spoken, “ – and then barely ever fucking use the damn thing, thought you could just be here, shirtless and sweaty, when I got home, and thought I wasn’t gonna lose my whole mind about it?”

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@carlos-in-glasses @actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @heartstringduet

@goodways @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry

@liminalmemories21 @nancys-braids @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh

@bonheur-cafe @reasonandfaithinharmony @thebumblecee @never-blooms

@sanjuwrites @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @honeybee-taskforce

@fifthrideroftheapocalypse @fitzherbertssmolder @butchreyes @just-inside-her @firstprince-history-huh

@captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @anactualcaseofthetruth @ironheartwriter @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@ditheringmind @emsprovisions @irispurpurea @nisbanisba @corsage

Want to be added or removed from the list? Lmk

[incorrectbatfam]

The 'Batfam on Reddit' post was fun and I won't mind another one! (I have nothing specific in mind besides more sibling shenanigans)

Going down the list, here's Jason

———————

Posted to r/AmITheAsshole by user local-zombie

AITA for changing my grandpa's cookie recipe? 

Earlier this week, one of my (22M) sisters decided to fill my rifle with purple glitter. As revenge, I swapped the salt and sugar before she made her waffles this morning. Prank worked, yada yada, that's not why I'm here though. 

See, like a dumbass, I forgot to switch them back. I've been running on 4 hours of sleep and I'm not even home half the time, sue me. It didn't really hit me until I was watching my grandpa make his signature chocolate chip cookies. 

This was some cinematic shit, I tell you. Everything happened in slow motion. Before I could say anything, he dumped an entire cup of salt into the batter followed by a teaspoon of sugar and started the stand mixer. It seemed then that all was lost. 

Out of nowhere, my dad—and I can't believe I'm saying this—descended like an angel from the heavens and asked my grandpa to help him with his hair. And lucky for me, I'm the only other person trusted to be in the kitchen. My grandpa told me to put the cookies in the oven before he went upstairs. 

This is where I might be the asshole. 

I needed to fix the dough immediately, so I added extra sugar and chopped up some caramel candy to (hopefully) turn it into some halfway-decent salted caramel chocolate chip cookies. Then I scooped them out, threw them in the oven, and prayed harder than the goddamn Pope himself. 

Apparently God had a high call volume though, because as soon as the plate hit the table, my ENTIRE family knew something was up, like a bunch of fucking detectives or some shit. And they immediately blamed me. They're not wrong, but the fact that that's their first reaction is totally unjustified. 

Anyway, now my family's pissed off and my dad thinks I should've just told gramps, but I think trying to fix the situation should count for something. So, Reddit, AITA? 

Comments

bluebirdz: Did they taste good? |— local-zombie: Not like the original, but a solid 7/10 |—— bluebirdz: All's well that ends well. NTA

redrobin: yta |— local-zombie: At least provide some reasoning |—— redrobin: no

starfire: NTA but next time give them a heads up |— your-tired-librarian: Also voting NTA but OP should've fessed up from the beginning.  |—— thatpurplething: I'm saying YTA for the waffle part |——— orphanized: not relevant |———— thatpurplething: It is to me

i-am-the-darkness-i-am-the-light: NTA for the way you handled it, that was pretty smart. YTA for tampering with food as a prank tho :/

notmysecretanimeaccount: You are indeed the donkey cavity for the poor setup and execution. |— local-zombie: Dude just say ass |—— notmysecretanimeaccount: Ass cavity. Happy? |——— local-zombie: Not what I was thinking but I'll take it |———— lesbian-premium: Congratulations on the worse conversation the internet's ever had

kyle-rayner: YTA. Just in general

assenal: nta. your family is overreacting

dickwings: soft yta. how would you feel if you were expecting one thing but got blindsided by something completely different? |— local-zombie: I'd just deal with it instead of whining like a pissbaby pretty boy |—— dickwings: nvm make that a hard yta |——— local-zombie:🖕

kitty-central: ESH. You for what you did, your family for how they reacted |— pennyworthy: At last, a sensible answer. 

official-batman: YTA. And grounded. 

[meaninglessrambles]

i don't like a gold rush.

ship: spencer agnew x gn!reader.

summary: it’s really hard working for someone as pretty as spencer.

warnings: none, really. spencer is technically in a position of power which could make for some potentially icky dynamics if anything were to actually happen. but, if even the thought of that makes you uncomfy, read with caution.

author’s note: i always considered gold rush to be the delusional girlie (in the most gender neutral way ofc) anthem so i thought it’d be fun to do something playing off that.

my mind turns your life into folklore, i can't dare to dream about you anymore.

you're spiraling. you can feel it as you sit there, chin cupped in the palm of your hand, eyes—despite your best efforts, no, seriously, you're trying—peering steadily over the top of the monitor, you're over the edge, crossing metaphorical lines you hadn't even thought possible a matter of months ago.

the butterflies you once thought had long gone dormant, the giggles you can't suppress, the almost desperate desire for even the tiniest bit of attention—it's all so utterly unserious. you're too old for all this, having left behind the silly school yard crushes decades ago and, yet, here you were, ogling your boss from across the room.

he's hunched over alex's desk, iphone held eye level as he swipes a digit across the screen. "look," he guffaws, "you see what i'm seeing? dude's straight jorking it. we're so playing this."

spencer's enthusiasm, so endearing, is quickly tuned out as you drop your gaze to his hand, pressed hard against the laminate, fingers splayed out, holding the rest of his body upright, steady. then up to his forearm—you don't know who half of the little characters are or what they did to deserve being immortalized in such a fashion—and the sleeves of his shirt. this one you don't recognize but you've made yourself familiar with the rest of his wardrobe, wondering how various articles would look thrown around your room or draped over your own body as you tip-toe out of the room, ready to make breakfast or shower or run errands.

for all intents and purposes, it's wrong. feeling this way is one thing, but fantasizing like this another. this is someone you spend forty-plus hours a week with, your boss. but hey, you're not the first person to fall for a silly little guy. a silly little guy with pretty eyes and nice hair... and a killer sense of humor.. and charming disposition. and... oh, fuck.

you're not the first person.

and there it is. just like every time you let your imagination run a little too wild, you have that moment where you crash back to earth, when your bubble pops.

this isn't just a fun little workplace crush on some co-worker—or superior, whoops. sometimes you forget just due to familiarity, but spencer is a highly sought—lusted—after internet personality. your thoughts have been thought before, your feelings are not new or special or unique, any number of people are having the same daydreams.

reality hits as you sit back in your seat and let out a huff of air. "okay," you mutter, tapping your cheeks with just enough to force to really get you to focus, "get it together."

everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Title: Don’t Take My Sunshine Away, Part I

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader (Sunshine)

Fandom: The Gray Man

Word Count: 2.5K

Series Summary: You lived your life on a schedule. Everything is planned out from sunrise to sunset. But what happens when you go out on a limb and out of your comfort zone? Will it have dire consequences?

Chapter Summary: You’d agreed to meet someone from the internet and you find yourself tied up in a basement. 

Warnings: dark fic!, attempted mugging, drugging, abduction, suspension bondage, Murder Daddy™️, oral sex (m receiving), dub-con, non-con, unprotected p-in-v sex, knife play, biting, blood play

A/N: I had an idea about Lloyd Hansen. Here is that idea. I haven’t written for Chris Evans’ character since Steve Rogers pre-Infinity War so this was an exercise and a half! Also, many many many thanks to @peyton-warren and @raccoon-eyed-rebel for helping me entertain Lloyd and for helping me to not lose my mind whilst writing this. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics 

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art: by me

Spotify Playlist is here. 

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

It’s just your luck, honestly.

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The place was a dark street. The time was 9:03 pm.

Well, technically you could blame your Tinder date for this. He didn’t fucking show up and he didn’t respond to your texts or calls. Like he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. You ended up waiting for an hour and decided to just pay for your third cup of coffee and leave.

Luckily for you, the buses were still running and there was a stop just across the street from the diner. You climb off your stool at the counter and exit through a particularly noisy door. It alerts some guys down the street and they turn to look at you before turning back to each other. Your sigh of relief is reversed when you get across the street and hear one of them shouting at you before moving closer.

You check the bus schedule that hangs in the bus shelter. You only have to wait for five minutes for safety. 

What could go wrong?

“Hey baby, can I have your number?” The overwhelmingly strong skunky smell of bad weed hits your nasal passage and you gag. “Oh, what? I’m disgusting to you? Stuck up, bitch!”

“Look, I’m just trying to get home. I don’t want any trouble.” Your hand went to your pocket where you had your safety keychain on your keyring.

“Too fucking bad because you just landed yourself in trouble, cunt,” Three long strides and he has you in his grip, pulling you behind the bus shelter into the empty alleyway. He pushes you onto the wet pavement and is on top of you in seconds. He watches as you open your mouth to scream and he clamps a hand around your throat, cutting you off. “Who do you think is coming for you, unlucky bi–”

“What the fuck…hey!” A voice is coming from the street and getting closer.

Your attacker is being pulled off of you and it’s so dark in the alley that you can’t fully see who grabbed him. You see a dark blur and you hear sounds of a struggle before a strong pair of hands is helping you up. 

“Are you ok, Miss?” You’re being ushered down the alley to the only lit streetlight. The more you walk under its glow, you notice the man who saved you. Your eyes are drawn to the push broom on his lip first, then to his slicked-back hair, and finally to his dramatically-patterned polo and pastel chino pants.

“Yeah, I’m fine…I think. Thanks.” You reach out your hand to touch his where it lingers on your arm. He doesn’t attempt to remove his hand, even after you squeeze it with yours quickly.

“No problem, why don’t I take you home? My car’s just around the corner here.” He does attempt to pull you towards the street. You know better than to let anyone take you to a second location, so you put your hand up with a smile.

“That’s quite alright. I’ll just wait for the bus if you don’t mind.” You try and remove your arm from his hand but his grip on you gets tighter.

“Let me at least walk you back to the bus stop?”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” You try to turn away and he pulls you closer to him.

“Why did you have to make this difficult, Sunshine?” His angry growl is quiet but no less intimidating.

“I’m sorry, wha–” You don’t get to finish as you feel a sharp prick in your bicep. Looking down, you see a syringe sticking out of your skin. You go to pull out the needle but darkness fades into your eyesight and you slip off into the void.

You awake to a pounding in your head. Your arms are sore. Your legs are numb. And you can feel the stiff presence of duct tape over your mouth. Opening your eyes, you try to raise your hand to shield your eyes from the sudden brightness but you realize your arms and legs have been immobilized.

Looking around, you see that you’re suspended about three feet above the ground in some pretty elaborate rope bindings. Your wrists are crossed against your bare chest. Your left leg is being held up straight, while your right leg is only supported by two lengths of rope on your thigh, leaving your foot to dangle which means your pussy is on full display. 

You hear a door open and two sets of footsteps walk down the stairs. As the steps get closer, you hear two voices as well. 

“...didn’t have to punch me so fucking hard!”

“Yeah? Well maybe if you didn’t have your slimy hands all over my things, I wouldn’t have had to bruise your fucking spleen. Don’t be such a pussy, Dougherty!”

 “Fuck you, Hansen.”

“Don’t be sad I have a new plaything and you don’t.”

“Yeah. Just don’t wreck this one like that last girl.”

You struggle in the ropes and try and grunt loudly through the duct tape and the metal anchor that holds the rope loudly jostles. You pick your head up and look to your right as the men come into view.

As you recognize the man who had you on the ground, you couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw the geometric-patterned polo-wearing man who tried to “save” you. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake. I know you must have a lot of questions. But, you’re gonna listen first,” He walks until he can grab onto the ropes that hold you up. Looking down at you, he smiles sweetly. He begins to swing you toward him, letting go and watching as you swing back and forth, “Now, my name is Lloyd Hansen, but you are to call me Sir. You now belong to me. From every thought you have to every step you take. I own all of it. You may be wondering why I chose you of all people. Well, it had to be you, Sunshine. You’re the one.”

You are at his mercy as his hands grope at your tits and he pinches your nipples. You turn your head to look away but he just grabs you by the chin and makes you look at him.

“Now, Sunshine, you take what Sir gives you and you are appreciative. Trust me, this will all make sense later. But for now, I think it’s time I claim what’s mine.” He stalks over to your legs, standing between them. He places a kiss on your left ankle as he grabs at your right thigh. Pulling your core flush with his clothed hardness, you can feel exactly how excited he is to own you.

“I’d hate to interrupt, but–”

“But yet, you are interrupting. What?” Lloyd says as he trails kisses down your calf, his mustache tickling you as he moves.

“Well, I just…you said you would pay me. And I don’t really wanna stay around for whatever this is, honestly.” 

Lloyd finally turns his head to the other man in the room before patting your leg, “I’ll be right back, Sunshine. Don’t you go anywhere, ok?”

Fucking asshole.

Pulling out a wad of cash from his pocket, Lloyd starts counting bills, “So what do you say to…a hundred bucks?”

“I say fuck you if you think I’m taking less than half a yard. Shit, I didn’t even get to fu–”

The pop of a gunshot cuts through not only his sentence but also his left eye. You watch as Lloyd pockets the money and turns back to you with a smile.

“Fuck, ok. I didn’t plan on shooting him in front of you. But…well, I did,” He caresses your cheek before ripping off the tape from your mouth. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, expectantly waiting for you to speak.

“What do you want from me?” Your wrists hurt from struggling against the ropes.

“Oh, Sunshine. I want everything from you…eventually. But for now, I want to use your mouth.” He unbuttons and unzips his pants, “Those fucking lips of yours look so delectable.” He traces your bottom lip with his thumb and you debate biting it. Then, you remember the dead guy in the room.

Just comply. He won’t have to hurt you if you comply.

You clear your throat to get Lloyd to look at you. “Um…S-Sir?”

“Look at you calling me Sir already like a good girl,” He beams, looking down at you and holding your face in his murderous hand, “What do you want to ask me?”

“Are you going to kill me, Sir?” You couldn’t stop the fat tears from falling as you blink up at his face. You watched as his smile fell and he crouches to bring his face to your eye level.

“I would love to tell you that I won’t kill you, Sunshine. But it really all depends on you. If you don’t give me a reason to kill you, I won’t kill you. It’s as simple as that, Sunshine.”

You feel your eyes glaze over as you thought about what Lloyd had said. You didn’t want to give him a reason to kill you. You also know that there was no one coming to save you. You had no family, no friends, no roommates. You had lived a solitary life. 

The sound of Lloyd clearing his throat brought you back to reality.

“Use my mouth, Sir.” 

No sooner does the half-sultry half-terrified sentence leave your mouth, than Lloyd is reaching into his chinos to pull out his fat dick as he walks around you. You tilt your head back and are met with his impressive package. Eight inches of veiny length in your face suddenly is a lot to handle. As he strokes himself, he makes sure to keep it just out of reach. You hate yourself for licking your lips and following his hand with your eyes.

He positions his dick slightly over your mouth and squeezes his length from base to tip so that a dribble of pre-cum hits your lips. You snake your tongue out to taste him, the salty bitter taste you expect turns out to be almost sweet. Why couldn’t he just taste terrible?

“Open up, Sunshine.” He steps closer to you as you part your lips. He doesn’t stop pushing in until you feel his balls touch your nose. You close your lips around him and breathe through your nostrils. 

Inhaling deeply, you’re hit with the familiar scent of sweetness mixed with musk—sort of Earthy. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it was African black soap. You knew the smell very well, you used the body wash every day.

“Fuuuuck, baby. Gonna fuck this throat.” He wraps his large hands around your throat as he pulls out slowly, leaving just the tip before he slams back in making you gag. 

He starts a steady rhythm and soon his balls are slapping you in the face. You can deny it all you want, but the way he fits perfectly in your mouth is obvious. The way your hands clench into fists and unclench denotes the urge to grab him and pull him deeper. 

One of his hands moves from your throat to your tits. Pinching your nipples and groping the soft flesh must not be enough because soon he is slapping at your breasts, getting you to grunt around his dick. The groan that leaves him is so sinful, you wish you could squeeze your thighs together.

But you don’t have time to worry about that because Lloyd is pulling out of your mouth. A string of saliva connects you until he steps back. You try to follow him with your mouth but he’s out of reach too soon.

“Sir?” You don’t like the air of desperation in your voice when you speak. You watch as he moves to the other end of your body and you soon feel his hand roam from your thigh to your pussy.

In one swift motion, Lloyd is inside your cunt. With the grip his hands have on your hips, you know it’s going to hurt tomorrow. But, that’s a later problem because Sir is fucking you like he hates you. You should hate this, but you don’t. At least not yet.

“Fuck, Sunshine…knew your pussy was gonna feel good but DAMN!” 

You can’t help the slew of sounds that escapes your mouth as he fucks you. The last of which sort of sounded like “Hnnnngg”. You feel as if you are going to explode at any minute but a spike of fear hits you as you think about where Lloyd is going to finish. You’re not on birth control. The speed of his thrusts picks up and you can feel him swell inside you. Fuck it.

“Sir, cum with me!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuck…” Lloyd latches onto your stretched left leg with his teeth, leaving behind deep and angry bite marks as he empties inside you. Pulling out, he watches his spend leak from you, righting his pants.

You are in a state of bliss so deep that you barely register as Lloyd bites into your right thigh enough to break the skin in a few places. But you can feel the sting of his butterfly knife as it moves over your skin.  The letters “LH” well with blood on your leg as silent fat tears roll down your face.  

“Now you can wear my bite mark like the badge of honor that it is. And when that fades, you’ll still have my initials so you can be returned to me if you are ever lost. I don’t plan on losing you, so you better not plan on getting lost, Sunshine.”

“I don’t want to get lost, Sir. I like it here with you.” The tremble in your voice doesn’t hide your fear, and part of you doesn’t want it to. You want him to know he doesn’t have to worry about losing you somehow.

“Think you can behave for a bath and a meal? I’ll have to supervise the bath, of course. And we’d be eating together. Unless you like being hungry, in your own filth with my cum dripping out of you all night. What do you say?” Lloyd offers, the fingers of one hand ghosting over his initials on your thigh.

“Would I still have to be tied up, Sir?” So many questions you could have asked, but you picked this one. 

Maybe if your hands were free, you could…do what? Fight him? Pick a lock? 

No, just comply. You can do this. 

“You won’t be tied up, but I do have a gift for you upstairs. But you can only have it if you’re a good girl. Are you gonna be a good girl, Sunshine?” While he spoke, he dragged a fingernail from your thigh to your upper torso as he walked around your body to your head.

“I’ll be a good girl for you, Sir. I promise.” The words on your tongue felt both foreign and familiar. Almost like you weren’t afraid for him to hurt you. 

You were afraid that he wouldn’t. And that scared you more than anything. 

Part II

A/N: There will be more of this. I’ve never written for Lloyd before but I enjoyed him as the little devil on my shoulder.

@raccoon-eyed-rebel @peyton-warren

If you would like to be tagged in the next installment, lemme know 🫣

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan (Part II)

MY KINK IS KARMA

We broke up on a Tuesday.

Who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended.

Karma's real.

Hope it's your turn.

I heard from *Name*, you're losing it lately.

It's hot when you have a meltdown.

It's hot when you're drinking downtown.

You're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth.

It's coming around.

People say I'm jealous but my kink is watching you ruining your life.

People say I'm jealous but my kink is karma.

Wishing you the best, in the worst way.

Using your distress as foreplay.

Six months since April and I'm doing better.

No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater.

It's hot when you're going through hell.

I'm feeling myself.

It's hot when you know that you're caught and you're getting pissed off.

It's getting me off.

PICTURE YOU

Draw the blinds.

Slip off my pretty dress down my chest.

It's ritualistic.

Counting lipstick stains where you should be.

I need you around.

I'm getting close now.

Do you picture me like I picture you?

Am I in the frame from your point of view?

Do you feel the same?

I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you.

So, tell me now all your perversions.

KALEIDOSCOPE

Here we go again.

Everything is fine.

I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line.

Ever since that day, everything has changed.

The way I write your name

If you really wanna leave, I'll never make you stay.

Whatever you decide, I will understand.

It will all be fine.

Love is a kaleidoscope.

How it works, I'll never know.

It's somehow all the same

It's beautiful somehow.

It's never just a shape alone.

Well, I'd love to see them try.

There's no one else who could.

The only one is you.

If you change your mind, I will understand.

It'll just take time to go back to being friends.

Don't be afraid to hold it close.

PINK PONY CLUB

I know you wanted me to stay.

I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in *Place*.

I heard that there's a special place where boys and girls can all be queens every single day.

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving.

I swear it's calling me.

Won't make my mama proud.

It's gonna cause a scene.

I know she's gonna scream.

God, what have you done?

I'm just having fun.

It's where I belong.

I'm gonna keep on dancing.

Every night's another reason why I left it all.

I thank my wicked dreams.

You've been too good to me.

Don't think I've left you all behind.

You're always on my mind.

I can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away.

NAKED IN MANHATTAN

I know you just landed.

I know you're probably busy but I would love to see you.

Call me when you can.

I'll never cross the line.

I pushed you down a million times.

I'd love if you knew you were on my mind.

Boys suck and girls I've never tried.

We both know we're getting drunk tonight.

Touch me, baby.

Put your lips on mine

Could go to hell but we'll probably be fine.

I know you want it.

You can have it.

I've never done it.

Let's make it cinematic

I wanna know, baby, what is it like?

An inch away from more than just friends.

If I don't try, then it's my loss.

Won't you fucking touch me?

I just want to touch you.

I want all of your love.

CALIFORNIA

I stretched myself across four states.

I trade amber clay roads for the sea foam and the endless sun rays.

I was never told that I wasn't gonna get the things I want the most.

If it hasn't happened yet, then maybe you should go.

Come get me out.

Thought I'd be cool in here.

I'd make you proud

To think I almost had it going, but I let you down.

Too hard to find reasons to stay.

GUILTY PLEASURES

Learned it on the internet.

Wild thoughts that make me melt.

Sometimes I scare myself.

I can't help what I can't help.

So shame on me, and shame on you.

I fantasize what we would do.

How would it taste?

Some good girls do bad things too.

I want this like a cigarette.

Can we drag it out and never quit?

Oh my god, you are heaven sent.

You give me guilty plеasure.

You're a pothead.

You're a cinephile.

It's been awhile since you turned up the dial.

[clotpolesonly]

from one hurricane sufferer to another: sterek hurricane??

oh god, throwback to a supremely half formed idea with very little to actually do with hurricanes 😂😂😂

this was from my "craving sex favorable ace rep" period, and the premise was that a hurricane knocks out the power for a few days and it's super hot and super boring, and with nothing else to do Stiles figures he might as well lay around and jerk off until the lights come back on. and Derek, checking up on all his people personally cuz the cell towers are down, walks in on it and is like 😳 but also a tiny bit like 👀

i don't remember if there was supposed to be a song and dance about it or if it was gonna jump straight in, but it was definitely meant to be ace!Derek to whom fucking Stiles hadn't really occurred before but now that the option is right in front of him, he's down!!!

there is less than one page written lmao, sooooo here, have the whole thing:

The hurricane knocks the power out all over the city. That’s about it, though, at least in Stiles’ neighborhood. Lots of branches down, trees blocking the roads, but for the most part it’s just a very inconvenient excuse to have three days off of work. And to be bored out of his mind, of course, considering no power means no internet and no TV and no games on his phone unless he wants to run the battery down and be stuck with no way to communicate with anyone in an emergency. Not that the communicating is really happening either because the cell service is spotty at best and completely non-existent the rest of the time, and it’ll be days before everything is restored to proper working order. So really there’s only one thing left to do. Not quite as much fun without his porn collection, but Stiles is more than capable of jerking off in the low tech fashion, just like all his ancestors before him. Returning to his roots. It’ll be cleansing. Stiles sprawls out on top of his bed, naked as the day he was born because it’s fucking hot without AC, and gets to work. He’s got plenty of time, but he has also never been a patient man. Why delay gratification when he can be gratified now and then have time to do it again later? He’s well on his way to the grand finale and almost too distracted to notice when there’s the clomp of heavy footsteps in the stairwell outside his apartment. He barely has time to scramble for a pillow and cover his junk before his door is swinging open—he’s really gotta start locking that—and Derek is waltzing right on in like he owns the place, in the middle of saying something that Stiles isn’t paying any attention to. They both freeze. Derek looks taken aback, which Stiles can’t help but be sort of entertained by since he’s normally a pretty unflappable person, but Stiles is also naked and still hard, and that is a very awkward thing. Finally Derek clears his throat. “Um...were you…?” He makes a vague sort of gesture. “No,” Stiles says with an extensive roll of his eyes, “I was knitting a sweater. Yes, Derek, I was—” He gestures vaguely right back. “Are you here for a reason?” There may or may not be a slight blush on Derek’s cheeks. It’s sort of hard to tell with just the light from the curtained window. He is shifting on his feet, though, in an uncomfortable sort of way. He’s obviously trying to keep his eyes averted, but he keeps glancing up at Stiles and immediately looking away again. “I was just, um...I was making the rounds, checking that everyone in the pack is okay, since the phones are mostly down. Everyone’s fine.”

that's it lol

.

ask me about my WIPs!

[cookinguptales]

So my dad and I went on a road trip a few years ago. We hit a lot of national parks, ghost towns, bizarre little tourist traps, the weirdest things we could find in Vegas, etc.

(Also, we accidentally went to an alien-themed brothel but I guess that's another story.)

We did... go to Death Valley... but it was not a great experience. lmao

To preface, it had been windy for a lot of our trip, which affected our stops to varying degrees. By far the two worst situations were in Petrified Forest and Death Valley. We still sort of enjoyed Petrified Forest, even though I literally got blown over a few times and the pictures weren't great. We actually talk about going back there some time to see it better because I do love fossils.

Death Valley tho...

I do like deserts, to be clear. I think deserts can be really, really beautiful. And I think maybe in much, much better circumstances, Death Valley might be beautiful. But it was not beautiful that day, and we are not making plans to go back.

We'd actually planned to stay there a couple nights, but the wind had basically kicked up a dust storm that was so bad that it cut power to the entire park. This is very dangerous in a place like Death Valley, where you can literally die if you get stranded. Like... they call it that for a reason. It was April, so less hot than it would be later, but it's still a desert in the middle of freaking nowhere.

When we finally got to our hotel, we found that it had lost power and probably wouldn't be getting it back for a day or two. That meant very little by way of food options, absolutely no internet, and, probably more importantly, it meant we wouldn't be able to charge our cell phones. The gas station also was not working.

So even though we had quite a bit of gas in the tank, the prospect of potentially running out of gas with no cell service or internet in a place called Death Valley was enough to run us out of town. We saw a little bit of the place before we left, but visibility was so poor that it was difficult to see much.

(And... I have to be honest with you, it was not the most visually interesting desert I've ever seen.)

In the end, we ended up just canceling our hotel stay (they couldn't check us in anyway) and driving to Lone Pine. Which was beautiful.

So uhhhh here are some scenes from Death Valley. Mostly, after a certain point, taken from inside a car. Because we were in a fucking dust storm.

To know just how bad the wind was, here's a video from when we stopped at the hotel/fuel center. Please keep in mind, if you turn the audio on, that I was in a truck.

For this next section, the gas station we stopped at just outside of the park, please just know that I double-checked the time stamps and this was early evening but it was not dark yet. You can kind of see how the sky was blue from some angles, but the sun was still being blotted out by the storm. The closest I've experienced to that otherwise is the odd sort of half-light you experience during an eclipse.

And then we got to Lone Pine and it looked like fucking this when we woke up. lmao. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been. What the fuck.

[makeste]

update part two: THE SPOILERING

~*~THIS POST IS ENTIRELY ABOUT BNHA MANGA SPOILERS.~*~ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE CURRENT EVENTS OF THE BNHA MANGA, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST. I do have a separate "hey guys I'm back" update post here which is spoiler-free!

THIS POST, THOUGH, IS NOT SPOILER-FREE. IT IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPOILER-FREE. IT EXISTS SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSING THE BIGGEST, MOST SPOILERLY SPOILERS EVER. IF THAT IS NOT YOUR DESIRE, PLEASE PROCEED AWAY FROM THIS POST WITH ALL HASTE.

I am, however, assuming that something like 90% of this blog's readership does, in fact, know exactly what this post is about, which is why we are going to TALK ABOUT IT right here and right now underneath this tidy read-more.

okay, so! gonna stick with the random imaginary Q&A format from my other post just to make things easier.

1. "wow makeste, way to randomly go on spoiler lockdown hiatus for NINE WHOLE MONTHS only to MAGNIFICENTLY DROP THE BALL by running smack dab into THE BIGGEST BNHA SPOILER OF ALL TIME."

I know right??

2. "so what do you have to say for yourself."

short version: I made the critical tactical error of existing as a human being in the general vicinity of the internet in early August 2022. very poor move on my part. rookie mistake.

long version: so there I was, minding my own business, watching the trailer for BnHA season 6, as one does. when out of nowhere, YouTube's algorithm decided to be all "OH? THIS PERSON LIKES MY HERO ACADEMIA? BOY DO I HAVE A RECOMMENDATION FOR THEM." next thing I know, I'm scrolling through my YT home page and ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S A DETAILED PICTURE OF MY SON'S MANGLED BLOODY CORPSE, RIGHT NEXT TO AN ALL-CAPS DESCRIPTION READING -- I SHIT YOU NOT -- "BAKUGOU REALLY JUST DIED!!! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

seriously though. that is word-for-word verbatim what it said. the internet literally got right up in my face and said "OHOHO!! LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO DELETE LITERALLY ONE SINGLE MHA-RELATED VIDEO FROM THEIR WATCH HISTORY! TIME TO DESTROY HALF A YEAR'S WORTH OF PAINSTAKINGLY DILIGENT SPOILER AVOIDANCE IN ONE EARTH-SHATTERING BLOW!" and just like that, my miraculous fate-tempting seven month spoiler-free streak came to an end. the sequel to blah blah SIXQUIRKS. something something BAKUGOU DIED. JUST THOUGHT WE'D SHARE THAT LITTLE UPDATE WITH YOU. HAVE A GOOD ONE, AND DRIVE SAFE!

so naturally my first reaction was basically just. looooooool :) :) :) what the fuck.

here I am. a working mom. who left her seventeen-year-old fictional son in the care of a 36-year-old Japanese man for the better part of a year because HE SAID he would take good care of him. Jump Festa 2022!! quote unquote!! "I’ve said this to Okamoto [Nobuhiko]-kun in LINE, but Katsuki will be having his greatest scene in the manga in future developments. I hope people who like Katsuki and hate Katsuki will look forward to it." bruh. we have the receipts right here! "greatest scene," he said! oh, goody, I said! something to look forward to when I finally have the time to catch up! "yes," Horikoshi smiles evilly. "something to look forward to, indeed." this fucking guy. can you even believe.

and just to be clear, when I say that I was otherwise 100% not-spoiled up until this point, I mean it. one hundred percent. I had absolutely ZERO knowledge of anything past chapter 339. the last I saw of Bakugou, he was hanging out with the rest his class showing off his cool new moves to Deku and being blindsided by Aoyama's betrayal and stuff. then bam. seven months later, fate mails me a postcard of him lying on the ground with a bloody hole in his chest. like WOW, OKAY. ZERO CHILL. OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE ONE TIME I DECIDE TO GO ON HIATUS FOR TWO HUNDRED DAYS, SMDH.

anyway so that's my story.

3. "so exactly how spoiled are you?"

lol I'm not even sure. I guess my best answer would be, "SOMEWHAT?"

or, if you don't mind reading more words, I can tell you exactly how spoiled I am by summarizing the Things That I Do Know in a bullet list.

THINGS THAT I KNOW

all of this apparently takes place between chapters 359 and 362, with 362 being the big "oh he DEAD dead" chapter. I think. based on all the fics that have since cropped up on AO3 with ominous chapter 362 spoiler tags.

I am pretty sure Bakugou was fighting either Tomura or AFO when it happened.

I have this vague idea that somehow his heart exploded or something?? like I don't really know the details, but that's what I've been able to glean.

apparently Jeanist and Edgeshot were involved in some sort of effort to save him?? but apparently that didn't work out too well I guess. OR DID IT? I actually do not know.

I have the vague impression Edgeshot may have also died, somehow, as a result of those heroic efforts. OR DID HE? again, I actually do not know at all. this is basically the knowledge equivalent of me overhearing half of a phone conversation between two people who were trying to recollect half of a phone conversation that they in turn overheard, several months earlier.

lastly, I know that Bakugou was apparently carrying around his All Might trading card from waaaay back in his chapter 118 flashbacks, in his pocket or something. because he's a giant fanboy nerd. who wanted All Might to sign it. but was too shy to ask I guess. "WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS SENSITIVE SIDE OF HIM COMING?? BAKUGOU CARES ABOUT THINGS??? HE REALLY DID LOOK UP TO ALL MIGHT JUST AS MUCH AS DEKU THE ENTIRE TIME??? WHAT A DEVASTATING REVEAL?!?" is how we were supposed to react to this, I'm guessing, lol. but I'll have you know that SOME of us have already written approximately 1200 essays on how much of a secretly sensitive All Might weeb Bakugou is, and so WERE ACTUALLY NOT SURPRISED AT ALL! yeah that's right! TAKE THAT HORIKOSHI. TRYING TO CATCH ME OFF GUARD AND MAKE ME CRY. WELL YOU WASTED YOUR GODDAMN TIME, because I would have cried anyway! and I did cry! and I will cry again!

anyway so yeah. and I think the card got blown up and/or otherwise destroyed somehow, just to add insult to injury. which, don't tell anyone, but between you and me, I'm not sure what he expected. "let me just take my precious limited edition All Might trading card, my most prized possession, along with me into the intense final battle with the final villain. for good luck or whatever. there's no way this could possibly end badly." did he even bother to put it in a zipper pocket. wtf were you thinking Katsuki. again I do not actually have the slightest idea since I have not actually read this chapter lol.

anyway! so that's everything I know! and let me just add to that a quick summary of things which I in turn do NOT know, the short version of which is: Literally Everything Other Than What I Just Typed Above. including but not limited to:

whether Bakugou actually was fighting Tomura, or AFO, or both. ??

who was fighting with him (except that for some reason or another Deku wasn't there, because I guess he fucked off to go do something else?? you and I fell into the exact same trap there, Deku. "surely Kacchan will be fine and dandy for the next five minutes or hours or days or however long while I go take care of this Other Important Business." yeah, you would think so, wouldn't you? BUT WE LEARNED OUR LESSON, DIDN'T WE.)

what Deku’s reaction was (but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say: PISSED)

literally anything else about the context of this fight, including where, when, and why it took place.

literally everything else that has happened in the manga since chapter 339. for real you guys. I just have to stress again how utterly out of the blue this was for me. to read this spoiler completely without context. WHAT HAVE THESE CHILDREN BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST NINE MONTHS. I'm terrified to learn the answers lol.

anyways but moving on now to the most important section of this post, starting with the one question which I think is by far the most pressing and important, and which I can thankfully answer with a single sentence.

4. "so... do you think he actually is dead?"

no lol.

but since you insist, here is my list of Reasons Why I Don't Think Bakugou Is Actually Dead, based on my nonexistent knowledge of the events of the past 40 chapters, and the actual context and details of his death. and I guarantee there is not a single point here which has not already been discussed to death on thousands of other blogs, but dammit I've been stuck without an outlet for all these thoughts since August, so the hell with it:

so for starters, in my experience, characters whose older selves narrate the story From The Future ("in that moment, there were no thoughts in my head... my body just moved on its own") tend to be pretty immune from dying, overall. just throwing that out there.

from day one, the series has made it very clear that this is the story of how Izuku becomes "the greatest hero" (more recently retconned/updated to become a pluralized "this is the story of how we ALL became the greatest heroes").

also from day one, Katsuki's narrative arc has been set up as a (first contrasting, and then later evolving to be more complementary) parallel to Izuku's, down to them having the same goal.

as the series has progressed, that concept of "becoming the greatest hero" has been further defined as "becoming a hero who always wins no matter what, and always saves everyone no matter what."

Katsuki in particular has expanded on this idea to emphasize that the greatest heroes are the ones who save EVERYONE, no matter what. "I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we're taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don't settle for anything less!" and more recently, "because to live up to those ideals and surpass All Might... we gotta save you, the civilians at U.A., and the people on the streets. because saving people is how we win."

therefore, any victory in which either Katsuki or Izuku dies in order to defeat AFO is not a perfect victory, and will not result in them becoming the greatest heroes.

this is also a flagship Shounen Jump manga and the spiritual successor to the Big Three, meaning this would basically be the equivalent of killing off Sasuke or Zoro or Rukia. a.k.a. not gonna happen ever lol.

on top of that, it's also Horikoshi's tribute to Western comics, particularly those produced by Marvel, a.k.a. the guys who practically invented the No One Ever Stays Dead trope.

and last (actually not last but this really is getting too long) but not least, the number one reason why Katsuki cannot and will not actually die: because AFO does not get to win. seriously. he just doesn't. he got to kill All Might's important person and be all smug and cruel about it. he killed Nana's family and was all smug and cruel about it. he's tormented generations of heroes by deliberately targeting the people they love most. and so even without me knowing the actual context or circumstances of Katsuki's supposed "death", I have no doubt that's why it happened, because that's what AFO does. and that's who Deku loves. and so of course AFO would try it, yet again. that's his fucking modus operandi

but, because he is the final villain, we know he is going to lose in the end. and so this, imo, is the biggest and simplest reason why Katsuki isn't dead: because if he is actually dead, then AFO wins. even if he himself dies in the end. he gets to go down knowing that he took a part of the hero with him. he gets to hold on to that one last triumph. even though he loses, he keeps the hero from winning and saving, and he gets to savor that.

so, since we know that he's NOT going to win, because this is a "good guys win" type of story and not an "evil prevails, sorry, it's called REAL LIFE, bitches, enjoy your tears" type of story, that means that Katsuki is not actually dead. or will not stay dead. either way. period.

anyway so yeah! that's basically the gist, though by no means are these all of my comprehensive thoughts, and I can safely promise you many more rants to come, especially as I prepare to take on the challenge of reading through 39 new BnHA chapters with the foreknowledge of my son's untimely not-death looming in the back of my mind the whole time! looking forward to that! both ironically and unironically! should be interesting to say the least lol.

so on that note, one final q&a before we conclude:

5. "is it cool to discuss other manga spoilers with you?"

I would prefer not to, mainly in the hopes of trying to preserve as much of the "pure" unspoiled liveblog experience as possible, both for myself and for anyone else who cares to actually read said liveblogs. I do already feel bad for depriving people of the experience of watching me naively frolic my way through the upcoming arc(s) all BLISSFULLY UNAWARES lol. instead you'll have to settle for watching me timidly cry my way through while yelling at every single character who blindly tempts fate with their stupid foreshadowing comments. and don't even try to tell me there won't be foreshadowing comments. I know what type of story I'm reading. and more importantly, I know exactly the type of person who's writing it. ~*~gReAtEsT sCeNe~*~. you son of a bitch. THIS ISN'T OVER, HORIKOSHI.

anyway, so basically I would prefer to be as spoiler-free as possible, same as always. but I also no longer have the time or frankly the will to police every potential spoiler out there, so at the end of the day I'm pretty much just going to leave it up to you guys! also because I figure that at this point, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN lol. (but for real there's probably a ton of important stuff that could easily be ruined still, so yeah if you don't mind let's just try to steer clear of all that lol.)

[fratboykate]

And that time Yelena took 2 to the chest for Kate... does Kate kiss those scars? Does she run her hand across them in bed when she feels nervous?

Again...not EXACTLY this, but I think sort of answers your question :) Here's 1.8k of fluff.

---

Yelena is stretched out on a chaise lounge, sporting a bikini top and board shorts. Her toned arm is draped over her face, shielding her eyes from the sun's glare. Marrying a celebrity undeniably came with many downsides, but having a luxurious 60-foot lap infinity pool in her backyard, overlooking the sprawling expanse of Los Angeles from the hills, wasn't one of them. Yelena just capped an intense hour of training with a hundred laps in the pool. Now, she basks in the sun, not only to dry off but also because her body is fucking sore, rendering her temporarily immobile.

Unexpectedly, she feels the lounger sink slightly under the weight of another person. Before long, Kate's lips start a reverent trail up Yelena's body. A smile tugs at Yelena's lips, but she remains still, not uttering a word or moving a muscle. Kate's kisses explore every inch of exposed skin, pausing to give special attention to the two prominent scars on Yelena's chest. Among the other smaller scars, remnants of injuries sustained during basic training or deployments, the larger and darker ones beneath her right clavicle and left sternum stand out.

Kate does her best to block out that fateful day. She knows there's footage of the incident floating around the internet, but she’s never had the desire to watch it. Experiencing it firsthand was traumatic enough. She doesn't need to relive it. The only thing Kate vividly remembers from that exact moment is talking to a fan then seeing Yelena rush to move in front of her and shove her out of the way immediately before a series of deafening bangs shook the meet-and-greet room. Yelena went down, and chaos ensued. Kate remembers more about the aftermath than the actual shooting — the warmth of Yelena's blood, its viscous texture, and the distinct smell. Kate doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forget the scent of Yelena’s blood as it poured out of her and onto Kate’s hands and thighs. She’ll also never forget how it felt as it dried on her skin or the feeling of desperately scrubbing her fingers in a hospital bathroom, attempting to cleanse herself of the stains. Those memories are forever etched in the brunette’s mind, so Kate kisses those scars with added reverence, hoping to keep the haunting images at bay.

"How am I supposed to memorize any of my lines when I look out the window and all I see is my hot wife lying here half-naked and alone?" Kate playfully remarks.

"Sounds very inconvenient." Yelena retorts, her voice tinged with amusement.

Kate continues her ascent, planting kisses along Yelena's body until she reaches her neck. She lingers there, placing a series of long kisses on and around Yelena's pulse point. Finally, Yelena moves the arm that rested beside her on the lounger, using it to wrap around Kate's waist and pulling her in close, effectively trapping her. Yelena keeps her other arm atop her eyes.

"I was trying to sleep.” Yelena complains.

"How rude of me.” Kate teases, nuzzling into Yelena's nape. With her left hand, she toys with the baby hairs at the back of Yelena's neck while her right hand delicately draws lazy figures over Yelena's torso. Once again, her fingers linger around the two scars, tracing circles with veneration. "Do they still hurt?" Yelena shakes her head slightly in lieu of verbalizing an answer. "I had a dream about it the other night. There was so much blood, it just kept coming, and you were lying there. I kept screaming your name, but your eyes were sort of...blank. Empty. Nothing behind them...I guess that sounds more like a nightmare."

Yelena's hand tightens its grip on Kate's waist, silently offering support and reassurance. Her touch is meant to be tangible proof that she is indeed here and that the dream was nothing more than a cruel trick her mind played on her.

"When was this?”

"A few weeks ago. When I was doing press in London. Maybe it was just the jetlag messing with my head."

"Sounds like it." Yelena mutters as she lazily caresses Kate’s hip.

"It scared me. It felt so real. I kept trying to feel your heartbeat, trying to make sure you were alive, but I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t.”

Yelena’s hand moves up from where it sat on the younger woman’s hip to clutch Kate's hand. Yelena briefly brings Kate’s hand to her lips for a tender kiss before placing the open palm over her chest, where her heart beats steadily. Kate can feel the rhythmic thumping against her hand.

"Still beating...that's real.” Yelena assures her.

Kate raises her head and seals their lips together. Yelena slightly shifts her forearm off her face, cracking one eye open to meet Kate's gaze, the vibrant blue orbs locked onto her own.

"You can never leave me. It's not allowed. I’d die.”

"So dramatic, Kate Bishop." Yelena ripostes with a faint smile.

"I mean it. You're like…vital to me. I need you."

"Seems like it's a good thing I'm not planning on going anywhere then." Yelena cups Kate's cheeks in her palms. "I'm here…it was just a dream."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Yelena lifts her head and leans in, kissing Kate's lips tenderly and reassuringly.

"But..." Yelena interjects, swiftly wrapping her arms around Kate's waist and lifting them both, effortlessly throwing Kate over her shoulder as she stands. Kate shrieks in surprise.

"Yel, what the fuck?!"

"...there have to be repercussions for not letting me sleep!" Yelena hollers mischievously as she charges forward and dives into the pool, still carrying Kate on her shoulder.

The fully clothed Kate gasps as they hit the water.

"Oh, that was uncalled for.” Kate grumbles, spraying water at her wife in retaliation.

"I was this close to a great nap.” Yelena retorts, splashing her back.

"Why does that mean I have to go swimming?!"

"My heart told me it's what you deserved, and I always listen to it.” Yelena offers with a grin.

Kate swims closer to Yelena, wrapping her legs and arms around her waist and neck, effectively clinging to her.

"Do you?" Kate asks.

"Always.” Yelena utters with certainty.

"Is it saying anything about afternoon sex?" Kate teases, her voice dripping with lust.

Yelena pretends to listen attentively to an invisible voice.

"Not that I can hear, no.”

"That's a shame... cuz I was gonna put out." Kate playfully laments.

"Were you?" Yelena raises an eyebrow.

"OH YEAH. It's kind of the whole reason I walked out here. The abs are distracting, but it's because they're verrrryyyyy sexy. Make my mind wander.”

"Is that so? Interesting."

"Uhum..."

"Where does it wander to exactly?" Yelena asks, her tone suggestive.

"You. Me. That lounger. No clothes."

"You do know there’s cameras everywhere, and the guys out front can see them, right?" Yelena reminds her.

"Free show! They can call it an employment perk." Kate suggests cheekily.

"I'm not having my guys watch me have sex with you." Yelena argues, shaking her head.

"LAME... I think that might make you a bad boss. They're probably bored. It would make their day infinitely more interesting." Kate argues in jest.

Yelena bursts into laughter.

"I'm still going to pass." Yelena insists.

“There are no cameras in our bedroom.”

"Correct.”

"Although... I wouldn't be opposed to that." Kate adds roguishly.

Yelena hangs her head back, amused by Kate's audacity.

"We're not making a sex tape.” Yelena states firmly through her chuckles.

"Once again...lame! I could use some...content when I go away on Wednesday. Something to keep me busy while I'm all alone at night.” Kate pouts, trying to convince Yelena.

Yelena leans in and presses her lips against Kate's before responding.

"I'm sticking by my answer."

Kate sighs, feigning disappointment.

"So unfair. Three whole months, sleeping by myself. Without you. What's a girl to do every night?"

"It won't be three months. I'm coming in June for a few weeks and then again in July AND August.”

"But you won't always be there! A little video might make me miss you less. That's all I'm saying.”

"No cameras while we're naked. That’s me speaking as both your wife and highly trusted security expert.” Yelena tells her categorically but lovingly.

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

Kate grouses in response and Yelena's laughter fills the air.

"Do I at least get to see you naked? Without the cameras?" Kate asks with a pout, leaning in for a kiss.

“Now?”

“When else, babe? Yes, I’m trying to get laid right now.”

Yelena shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Don’t you have a dinner to get ready for?”

Kate groans in realization.

“UGH. I totally forgot I have that thing with Eli. I would so much rather be here with you. I can cancel.”

Yelena gently caresses Kate's cheek.

“It’s work, Kate. Don’t cancel.”

“It’s not like I HAVE to meet him before we start shooting. I can meet him when we get to set.”

“You’ve said it helps you when you get to know your costars beforehand. Go to the dinner.”

Kate sighs, a mix of disappointment and desire evident on her face.

“I hate that you’re so good to me. Be less rational, please. I’m horny.”

Yelena cackles and walks to the pool stairs with Kate still clinging to her. Yelena effortlessly carries Kate’s extra weight around and makes her way to the lounger. She wraps her beach towel around both of them, creating a cozy cocoon, and starts heading in the direction of the house.

“Babyyyyyy...Come onnnnn…” Kate pleads. “I have time. I don’t even have to do my makeup. It’s just dinner. I’ll be a really good girl. Yeah?”

"Where do you think I'm taking you now?" Yelena's teasing smile widens as she responds.

"Ugh, you're the best wife ever.” Kate exclaims, holding onto Yelena tightly while they climb the stairs to the third floor.

Yelena's hands find their way to Kate's ass, giving her extra leverage as they make their way up. Suddenly, a thought crosses Kate's mind.

“Bed's gonna get wet.”

"I wasn't planning on using the bed." Yelena confidently tells her.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm FULLY invested already.” Kate responds, excitement evident in her voice.

Yelena chuckles and closes the door behind them as they enter the bedroom, ready to enjoy their intimate time together.

---

Three days later, Kate boarded a plane bound for Prague to begin filming the movie that would later garner her a second Academy Award nomination. Little did she know that this very film would also be the catalyst for the downfall of their marriage.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Karneval and Fairy Tails ?!

Of course! This one was tough but fun to work on and I hope you'll like the direction I went with it. My apologies on this taking so long to get to you!

Okay, so the basis for this AU is probably the most tropery and cliched out of all the ones I've done so far but it's really the direction my mind kept going and an idea that I really liked despite those drawbacks.

So, I see this less of a traditional AU and more of a switched between worlds style AU. Kafka was, of course, responsible for the switch, using some magical means to send the characters working for and involved with Circus through the universes. Each character gets sent to their own unique fairy tale, which they must live through, survive, and find a unique 'key' that will allow them to escape that fairy tale world so that they can travel to other fairy tales to find the others, as they all just instinctively know, through that same magic that sent them there, that the only way back to their original world and lives are if all the keys are found.

So, I will admit that initially I had looked up all these different fairy tales and really hunted down the ones that metaphorically and in terms of content I felt really suited each of the characters but, half-way through writing it, I really had felt that it was too easy for each of the characters to get out of them and really, in the end, it was a bit too on the nose for me as a writer. I felt heavy-handed and didn't really feel it was great story-wise and knew that that would also show through to you guys, the readers.

So I took an abrupt twist and turn and looked up what were considered the ten most popular fairy tales, since there are ten characters I'm working with really here and covering. After that, I let the internet's random pickers match the characters for me and that made things just a bit more interesting I hope.

So, we're going to start with Jiki first, who wakes up in this strange new world to what is, yes, an absolutely beautiful fairy. But she becomes much less beautiful when she tells him how she has no choice, she must do this for his own good and then turns him into a frog. That's right, Jiki got himself landed straight into the good old classic tale of The Frog Prince. Though he isn't really all that familiar with the fable himself, he just goes by what the fairy who cursed him told him, which was that he must get a beautiful princess to love him, to take him in and care for him, to let him drink from her cup, eat from her plate, and sleep on her pillow. Now, initially Jiki really does think the fairy is setting him a really impossible task and that he's going to have to risk his life just trying to invade a castle, steal onto tables and beds without being seen, and cheat to get those conditions fulfilled. Once he figures out, though, that as a cursed animal he can communicate with humans and have them understand him, he really does think the whole thing will be so much simpler. He lays on the charm, the good manners, smoozes each princess he can come across but every time he's met with either fright, disgust, fear, or them running away because 'eww, this frog is going to give my delicate little hands all kinds of warts'. By the fifth or sixth princess he's tried the routine on, Jiki is just getting sick of it all so when he meets the next princess, he does try the same routine, at first. But when that princess reacts exactly like the others had, Jiki loses a little bit of his composure. He looks at her and is just like 'holy fuck, you're kind of an idiot, aren't you? I mean, obviously I'm no normal frogs. Look at all these other frogs…any of them speaking to you? No, because frogs can't talk so there's proof towards what I'm telling you, that I'm a cursed person. Also, I'm not asking for your first born child or any shit or even for true love's kiss, just need to drink from your cup, eat from your plate and sleep on your pillow. The fairy didn't even say you had to drink from the cup after me, eat the food on the plate after feeding me, or even sleep beside me on that pillow. Just do those things, get a new cup and plate, change out your pillow, and I'll be out of your hair, you spoiled brat. Also, there's no amphibian that will give you warts, that's an old wives tale and I honestly thought the education system for princesses would be so much better than this, you might wanna fix that when you rule this kingdom.' Thank god for Jiki but this princess was actually a little into degradation so him being a jackass because he is just so fed up with this and wants to get out and back to his normal life really works on her and she does what he asks. And poof, Jiki turns back into a human on her bed, wearing a crown because the frog was always a prince and the second he reaches up and touches that crown, he knows it's his key. He actually says a really nice farewell to the princess before he takes the crown and skeedaddles on down the road, which he just sort of knows with certainty will now take him into the tale one of the others is trapped in.

And it's a good thing he did, because the tale he falls into is Kichi's. She has made zero progress in her tale, though it really wasn't her fault, something she makes clearly known because boy, does it kill her pride that she hasn't been able to find her key, especially when Jiki had found his. But how could she? She was at a disadvantage from the start because, though she knows she could do this alone, nobody seems willing to allow the tale to move forward, they just keep talking about how they need to wait for her 'brother' to get back from playing outdoors and they keep repeating the same day over and over. To say this annoys her greatly is an understatement. Everything about her life there is horrible - her 'parents' seem to hate her and are mean to her, their house is small, cramped and poverty stricken and she just wants to leave this place but cannot seem to manage it. She's honestly a little relieved to see Jiki when he shows up and is declared her brother, just because it means she can finally leave. Not that she'll ever let him know that. The two bicker and argue, but the story finally progresses, with them both being brought into the woods by their 'father', who abandons them in a deep, dark part of it. While searching the forest, the two of them come across a huge house made out of gingerbread, cake and candy. Kichi has, quite honestly, been starving in the house all this time, subsisting only on bread and water once a day because that's all the family could really afford. Needless to say, she doesn't care that it's destruction of someone else's property, that the candy and cake are all stale as fuck, she sneaks some candy off that. When the witch comes out and starts offering to feed them…Kichi and Jiki have both seen enough as Circus members, they know where this is likely heading. They both accept going inside the house but both are on their guard. While the witch had obviously been intending on fattening them both up first, the constant snide little remarks and bickering between Jiki and Kichi drove the poor witch up a wall and yeah, she figured they were healthy enough for her to just cook and eat as was. Once the duo knew that yeah, they were right, obviously this nice old lady had bad intentions, I like to imagine them really kicking her ass and going back to back badasses, just because I love the trope so much, all while still kind of picking at each other, teasing each other. The witch gets pushed into her own oven and Kichi learns that the oven handle is actually her key so that gets taken off the oven pretty quickly, once the two of them figure out how to do so. With Kichi's key found, they leave the now melting house of goodies and know that when they do, they'll find their way into someone else's tale.

We're going to take a short break from where Jiki and Kichi end up to switch to Iva, who finds herself waking up in her story already leading this poor, way too skinny cow down a country road and with the knowledge in her head that to get back home, she needs to find the golden goose. She's walking down the road when this dude just walks right up to her and offers to buy her cow from her. She isn't really all that attached to the cow and would rather have money that will let her find that golden goose, since money seems much more useful than a cow, so while the dude is kind of gross in her opinion, she's more than willing to do business with him. Well, she is until she learns that he's not even offering to give her money for the cow. No, all this cheap-ass dude, who's looking way too closely at her boobs, is offering to give her is a lousy handful of beans, which he tells her are magic beans. Yeah, she's had experience with con-men before and she loses her temper a little bit. To try to stop the beating Iva gives him early and to make her go away because yeah, she was beautiful but lord is this woman scary, this bean salesman has learned, he's begging her to just let him show her and hell, she can keep her cow too, just please stop hitting him and he'll plant the beans for her. Iva relents a little, the man plants the beans, adds some water, and what do you know? Turns out, Iva discovers, that the man was telling the truth because this humungous beanstalk starts growing and doesn't seem to stop growing, as it disappears up past the clouds. She might not like the man, but a fair trade has to be a fair trade, and she does send him off, now bloodied, with her cow in exchange for his beans and the advice to climb the beanstalk to find unimaginable riches. So that's precisely what Iva does. When she finds herself at the top of the beanstalk, she's in the castle of what she soon figures out in a very bad-tempered giant who tells her he can smell her and is going to grind her up and eat her. She really doesn't take too kindly to this but even for her, taking on a giant single-handly isn't going to be great. So she does everything she can to evade him, finding and stealing some of the riches of his castle as she goes along because honestly, it seems fair to her that she should be able to take some of these jewels and gold in exchange for the fact he's trying to kill her, right? She eventually, while evading the giant, comes across the golden goose, which she grabs right away because yes, this is the thing that will take her home right and she needs that because the giant is now right behind her. Except she grabs it and…nothing? Literally nothing happens, she's still stuck in the story. The giant is right there now and to distract him and because Iva's now really angry that she found this goose and it didn't work, she chucks the bird, full force, towards the giant. The bird is so flustered that out pops a golden egg. Iva sees this and dives just as the giant reaches out his great mitt to grab her. She catches the golden egg, just barely, just by the tips of her fingers, and knows that is her key and that all she needs to do is find her way back to the original beanstalk. Filled with new purpose, she uses a knife she found along her journey in stab the giant in the thumb before he can grab her and, still clutching that golden egg and with the other things she'd stolen strapped onto her, the chase is back on as she runs back to the beanstalk and literally tosses herself down it, knowing that when she lands, it will be in someone else's story.

And Iva finds herself so relieved to find that the first person she sees, the first tale she falls into is Tsukumo's tale. Tsukumo is very glad to see Iva, though she doesn't really need the woman's help. She has her tale very well handled, honestly. Tsukumo had found herself being sent from her 'mother's' house, wrapped in a bright red cape and hood, with orders to deliver a basket of wine and cake to her grandmother's house and not to leave the path. Tsukumo wasn't quite sure what was going on, but she has always been good about following orders. So she headed off along the path, where she found herself approached by a talking wolf, who, upon learning of her task, suggested picking a bouquet of flowers to add to the basket of goodies going to her grandmother. While it did seem like a good idea, Tsukumo pointed out that there weren't too many flowers along the path proper, to which the wolf had responded that there were all kinds of beautiful flowers just a bit off the path, just to her right, not even more than three minutes walk. Tsukumo hadn't even hesitated in her answer that, thanks for the suggestion, but she'd been told not to leave the path and she had no plans on breaking those rules and if the wolf would please excuse her, she had to be getting on her way. This was about the time the wolf gave up its pretenses and just attacked her, and it was while Tsukumo was fighting the almost magically strong and vicious wolf that Iva dropped into the fight. To say the wolf was toast goes without saying. The wolf slain, the tale should have been complete but Tsukumo still had no idea what her key could possibly be. Iva had suggested they make a picnic out of the goodies meant for the grandmother and figure it out together, but Tsukumo refuses. The goodies are meant for the grandmother after all, she couldn't take them from her. Instead Tsukumo insists on finishing the journey to the grandmother's house, which turns out to be the right call. Tsukumo knows, upon setting eyes on it, that her key is the grandmother's sleeping bonnet and she makes the elderly lady a trade. Tsukumo and Iva have a lovely meal of wine and cake with the grandmother and then Tsukumo gives the old lady her cape and hood, while she wears the bonnet out the door, knowing that by doing so, her and Iva will leave this woman and this tale forever and will find themselves in someone else's story.

Which is how Iva and Tsukumo join Kichi and Jiki into falling into Tsukitachi's story. What they find though? Honestly, it annoys all of them to varying degrees. See, Tsukitachi fell into the story of Puss in Boots, where he had to take the role of the cat and use all his cunning and wisdom to make his master a grand marquis and get the King's daughter to marry him. Which, honestly, Tsukitachi managed without too much trouble at all. When everyone falls into his story, he's completed it, found his key in the boots, and is just simply having too much fun, since the wedding had turned into a days long party, to want to leave quite yet. He greets everyone so happily (and slightly drunkenly) and lets them know what's going on, encourages them to stay and enjoy themselves a little, why not, he's not quite ready to leave yet…needless to say, Tsukitachi is left with no other choice but to leave his tale and might have been forcibly dragged away so that they can all move forward. He takes it all in good humour though.

Especially since the next tale all of them fall into is Doctor Akari's. Akari had gotten sent into the tale of Sleeping Beauty, where he had learned that he was taking the place of the princess, cursed to prick his finger on a spindle when he turned sixteen and sleep for a hundred years until a kiss awoke him. But, since he got sent back to when the fairy cursed him, he put the extra time to use and while he still ended up pricking his finger, the tale's progression too strong for him to resist, when the others find him sleeping beside this spinning wheel (because everyone else in the tale falls asleep with him so there's no one to carry him to a bed), they find there's a note he pinned to his chest so that no one could miss it. 'Do not kiss me. There is an antidote to this magic in my pocket, inject that into me instead.' And honestly, everyone is getting ready to follow Akari's orders until Tsukitachi stops them. Because like…it's fun to mess with Akari and can you just imagine his face if someone were to kiss him and wake him up instead? Tsukitachi actually becomes somewhat insistent on this because he sees a way to mess with Akari and that is too good to pass up and the others really see it as just easier and quicker to go along with Tsukitachi, as the man takes the antidote from Akari's pocket anyway, so they would have had to get it away from Tsukitachi to give it to Akari. I just find it a funny idea, but they all play rock paper scissors to decide who has to kiss Akari because while the idea amuses Tsukitachi, nobody really wants to kiss the man. Poor Tsukitachi loses anyway, when it got down to just him and Iva (because there was no force in nature that was going to make Iva kiss Akari and she made sure Tsukitachi knew that) and he plants one on Akari, who wakes up. And lord, Akari is pissed because like…he left solid instructions. Do they know how long he had to work to come up with that magic antidote? They wasted so much of his time and efforts and eww, he did not want to be kissed, especially by Tsukitachi. Tsukitachi handing Akari his antidote back and assuring the man that it could probably come in useful elsewhere along this whole journey, as they still had others to rescue, really calmed Akari down. Akari breaks off the spindle, which is his key, and they all progress into the next tale, since honestly, Akari is just so ready for this all to be done and over with and is in a bad temper.

Tsukitachi doesn't seem to be immediately right though. The next tale finds no use for Akari's antidote, but does jolly Akari up somewhat, considering it's Hirato's tale they fall into and boy, is it nice to see Hirato be 'in distress' for once. Though honestly, it turns out Hirato was less in distress than they thought. See, he had fallen into the tale of Rapunzel and found himself locked up in a tower, his hair growing at a super fast rate, with no way to escape that he could immediately see. A witch would visit him once a week and though Hirato had come up with a few escape plans before very long, he kept still in his tower, trying to see if he could garner any information from the witch. The others pop into his tale about the time that Hirato decides that he has learned all he possibly can from the witch and that he would make his escape that day. The others stumble across this tower, see Hirato at the top window and the witch climbing back down his hair to the ground below. Once the witch is truly gone, they all hurry to the tower, yelling at Hirato to get his attention. He pokes his head out the window, sees them and just politely smiles and tells them to give him a second. The next thing they see is Hirato, now with much shorter hair, wrapping this super long braid around a hook by the window. Turns out he had pickpocketed a knife the witch had brought to cut up his weekly food for him before she left and he used the braid he had been sporting to climb down and join the others. He digs a rock out of the surface of the tower with the others help, knowing that the tower itself is his key and he must take a piece of it with him to be able to leave. The group walk into the forest and poof, into the next tale.

Honestly, this tale makes Akari much happier, if only because it's in this one that Akari does find a use for his magical antidote. The tale they come into is Yogi's. Yogi had found himself in the tale of Snow White. While he had been quick to figure out the Huntsmen had been planning on killing him when he was sent to accompany Yogi, on his evil stepmother's order, and had fought and defeated the Huntsmen, Yogi was still completely unsure of how to get out of his tale. His key wasn't anywhere around that he could see and so he stumbled through the woods, trying to figure out what to do next. He came across the seven dwarves cottage and they took him in. Honestly, Yogi was having so much fun with the dwarves, and really began to care about them greatly, that he got kind of distracted in finding his key and getting to the others. Too bad his key was also his undoing. While he knew the apple his evil stepmother, disguised as a passing elderly woman, was his key, the magic on it was too great and he couldn't help himself from biting into it, the curse on the apple causing him to fall into an enchanted sleep. The dwarves grieved him greatly and put him in a glass coffin in the forest, which is where the others all find him. They remove the glass cover and there's some talk of trying kissing again, since that helped the last sleeping person but Akari is having none of that bullshit again and Yogi gets unceremoniously stabbed and injected with Akari's antidote. He awakens to find himself still holding the apple, thank god, as that is his key, and with all his friends around him. He says a tearful goodbye to the kind dwarves, and they all move along to the next tale, all of them feeling good because like…they're almost to the end. They can think, really, of only a couple more people they may have to rescue.

Gareki is having one hell of a time and it's putting it lightly to say he really hates the tale he fell into. He had awoken in his tale to find himself in the process of being cursed by a fairy to assume the form of a monster until he could truly love another and find that love returned to him in kind. Now, problems with that…one, Gareki himself has a really hard time allowing himself to grow attached to other people, it turns out it's not really love if you're simply trying to grow attached to break a curse, and his monstrous form really does tend to send almost everyone running and screaming away from him. He's beginning to think there's no freaking way he's ever going to find a way out of this bogus, stupid tale when the others make their way into his tale. And honestly, things didn't go so well at first because all the others saw, when they stumbled onto this castle, was a monster. It took a little bit for Gareki to really get them to accept, without any doubts, that he was the monster. After that, the curse became a lot easier to break…though still not easy because Gareki? Admit and accept his feelings? Boy oh boy, is that one of the toughest things in the world for him. But it's only through accepting and admitting out loud, even as a whisper, that he truly does love and care about his comrades, and their own assurances that hey, they need Gareki around and he's part of their family (along with a few cracks about how they accept his new form because hey, there's really not much change from his normal face and this monstrous one) and that they care about him for the spell to be broken, though it takes a lot longer than it would if it was anyone else than Gareki cursed. When the curse fades, Gareki realizes that his key is one of the roses in the castle garden and plucking it, all of them make their way into the final tale.

That last tale, of course, being the one Nai got dropped into. Nai found himself dropped into a world where he quickly lost the man who said he was Nai's father, and where his stepmother and stepsisters quickly put him to work. Of course, his tale is Cinderella and we all know how the story goes. Nai really is too nice for his own good though and too blindly following…he really works hard and does what's demanded of him because by doing so, he gets a bed and regular meals and he actually gets really used to his new life, though he cries every day because he terribly misses his friends and life with Circus and wishes to go back to it. But he really doesn't know how to find his way back by himself and he doesn't want to be turned out into the street with no home at all and no food, like he keeps being threatened with. And in his own way, he does grow to care about his newly found stepmother and stepsisters and really wants to make them happy. He seems to think that if he just does everything they ask and does it really well, they'll start being nicer to him so he tries really hard. And when the ball comes around and his stepmother forbids him to go unless all the work is done, knowing that breaking her rules will make his stepmother really mad, he keeps turning down the fairy godmother's offer, and the story just keeps repeating itself every so often, over and over, because, though he doesn't know it, the story can't progress without him saying yes to his own freedom. Which is why it's so lucky that the Circus members drop into his story and find him out running an errand for his stepmother. Flat out, after learning the kind of life he's living and seeing how dirty and run down he is, no one is letting Nai go back to that. And he's perfectly okay with that because all his friends are there now, they can help him get home and protect him. And lo and behold, the fairy finds all of them in their new location, a set of rooms Iva rents for them in this world with all her gold and still makes the same offer to Nai. With encouragement from his friends, and an assurance from the fairy godmother that they can go to the ball with Nai, Nai accepts the fairy's offer and finds his key in the glass shoes he's gifted, along with new fine clothing.

With all the keys finally gathered, the Circus members all return to their world, glad to be back there, intent on studying the magic that caused the switch in worlds and, in a couple cases because let's be honest, a few of these people are very much not opposed to the idea of revenge, very intent on dealing out some much needed punishment to those that put them through that.

[elizabethplaid]

Saturday's notes, part 2 - May 4, 2024

Part one here

Things got better as the day went on, after the alarm debacle in the morning. LL-K shared cookies with me from our fav local bakery, the one with the huge cookies.

When I went to pick up my take-out order, they didn't have it. Turns out, dad never hit the confirmation thing to finish making the order on their website. I almost asked to make the order right then, but I just wanted to go home. I texted my dad before leaving, then tried calling him, but his battery had died. So yeah, just go home; didn't want to wait another 20 minutes.

(Plus my Lego friend was starting her stream soon, and I wanted to chat with her as much as I could. Still ended up being like half an hour late, but she was still just getting started.)

THEN, on the drive back, I re-encountered the same lawn ornament I'd forgotten about from my drive out that morning. Remember the shadow-silhouette cut-outs that were popular in the late 90s? (Well, at least they were popular in NC, back then.) Some motherfucker had a human-sized one, like it was walking out from behind the power pole. Freaked me the fuck out, thinking someone was walking into the road.

Then I'm like, "Wait, those arms look familiar." IT WAS FUCKING SASQUATCH! And then it got me again, as I drove home! It wasn't even obscured by the pole on this side, and it got me even worse. Like, of all the shit that happened, that's the one that pisses me off the most. It's the only one that I can't let roll off my back.

Ok, so I got home, confirmed with dad that he forgot to finish the order. He was pretty apologetic about it. I put it on-par with how I fucked up the alarm that morning, so eh *shrug emoji*. He made some frozen stir fry meal for us instead. Certainly not the best, because it's a frozen thing and not made by responsible chefs, but it hit the spot. Plus dad did the work, as I ranted about Sasquatch. Very sweet of him.

Got to my friend's stream and chatted with her. Looked up some Lego stuff, shared links, etc. After finishing my food, I told her about my day. She encountered the same Sasquatch cut-out in her area, too. Big laugh with that.

She started her stream at 6pm, and she was on bag 10 of 22 by the time I bailed. (She intends to start at bag 12 for the next stream, I think.) It was after 1am, and I admitted that I'd been up since 5:30pm the previous evening. She's like, "Go to bed, girl." I texted her a pic of me in bed, with my Monty Python rabbit biting my face, to confirm I obeyed her order, haha. Still felt antsy (a "toddler tantrum" of resistance) and played on the phone for a bit. Finally put down the phone at 2am.

Woke sometime after 8am, to my daily "good morning" message. Text-chatted with phone friend, kind of explained how frustrated I was feeling. Both over- and under-stimulated, body-fatigued and brain-wired. Writing out my thoughts helped me vent the feelings, thankfully. Vocal-speech talking is tough on me, trying to find and form the words. But texting is easier, so I was able to form a lot of thoughts, and it got easier as I kept writing.

Texting with phone-friend and Lego-friend have really helped me. I don't know why they're different from other people I've talked with in the past. Maybe it's because they're both in Maine, or that they've met each other in person and I've met phone-friend in person. They're more tangible than other internet friends, even though we're still apart most of the time. =======

I'm still jittery, now that I'm more awake. Just a bouncing leg. My mind has calmed to the point where I could probably doze off if I laid down again. Briefly considered going to Ellsworth with my dad, at least to pick up fast food. Nah, I think I want to nap; it's probably wiser in the long-run.

As usual, I have library on Tuesday. Thursday is a dental appointment in the morning (fillings on back molars), followed by meeting up with my phone-friend. They've convinced me to try boba tea for the first time, so that's my plan for Friday, before heading back home.

It'll be a lot of chilling again, snacking in the room instead of going to a restaurant. After dental stuff, I want to take it easy anyway.

Just need to make sure I have my gifts for phone-friend's family wrapped, and I'm all set. I'm glad I went with an alternate plan. The embroidered drawstring bag will wait til Christmas, thankfully. =======

So yeah, I had a fucking day, my god. I'm in a better mood now, though more venting will be necessary. Still feeling like an over-stimulated toddler, somewhat. Struggling with the weight of fabrics on my skin versus feeling chilly. Had to close my window after I woke up.

Will probably go back to bed soon, though I might read webcomics or that Jane Eyre thing. (They just had the scene where the ~mystery person~ set fire to the dude's bedroom, hahaha.)

[faded-neon]

It was quiet in the house. Peaceful. Leo couldn't quite bring himself to slip off into dreamland just yet--which, come to think of it, was probably a left-over habit from years spent on the run, constantly forced to be on alert for even the slightest sign of Krang intrusion, constantly forced to be a light sleeper on principle so that he might be able to help with evacuation at a moment's notice. It wasn't as though he was trying to be an insomniac. Sleep simply wasn't something that came to him very easily anymore, if it had ever come easily. And try as he might to follow the advice that the Internet gave of quietly reading or something before he turned in, he couldn't quite shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

Leo groaned, swiping a hand down his face as he set the book that he'd been trying to read for the past twenty minutes aside. It was something Lysias had recommended to him, he thought--some kind of mystery novel--and while the book had thus far been interesting, the fact that he'd read the same page about five times by now and still hadn't managed to retain any of the material probably didn't speak well to its use as a relaxing technique. And though he was at least ninety percent sure that everything in the household was fine (because the Krang were gone, for fuck's sake, and they were alive), his ever-present paranoia wouldn't stop him from checking anyway.

Mikey's room first. His little brother laid with his hair strewn every which way and his markings softly glowing, healthy and smiling and so very alive, not dissolved back into golden dust as a part of Leo feared that he'd open the door to see. Smiling softly, Leo closed the door as gently as he possibly could, exhaling. Right. Okay. Time to check on Donnie and then head off to sleep himse---

Thud.

The sound was loud, and near, and Leo found himself reflexively reaching for his katana when he was able to determine that the sound had come from Donnie’s side of the apartment. Scenarios ran through his mind one after the other—Donnie was hurt, the Krang infection had come back, he was having a seizure and he wouldn’t be able to get there in time—and he sprinted to the guest bedroom, flinging open the door and—

Oh. Donnie was just sitting half-sprawled on the floor, wearing a very “deer in the headlights” expression as he twisted his good eye to view Leo. “Oh. Uh. Greetings, ‘Nardo—“

“Don, what the hell are you doing out of bed without your crutches.”

“I was only trying to go to the bathroom. It’s only a few steps away, I can manage that much without the crutches, it’s fine—“

“It’s not! What if you’d been hurt and I was asleep and couldn’t get to you in time?”

Donnie gave a dismissive wave of his hand at that. “Oh, please. Everyone knows your sleeping habits are absolutely abysmal even at the best of times—“

“That’s not the point. Don, you can’t rush through the healing process, alright? Trust me on this. You’re going to fuck up your legs and then you’ll have to spend twice as long in bed, which I don’t think either of us want. And besides, I’m supposed to be looking out for you—“ Like I didn’t before. Like I didn’t get the chance to, because I refused to take your very real concerns seriously. He wanted to say the words, and yet they clogged in his throat, sticking like a piece of food that hadn’t quite managed to go down the right way.

“I’m not rushing. I’m not trying to. I just wanted to prove that I was ready. Maybe then you’ll stop mother-henning me all the damn time, honestly, I got enough of that from Raph—“

“I’m not trying to mother hen you! I know it’s stupid to think the same thing that happened the last time you were sick is going to happen again, I know it is!” He snapped it out before he could stop himself, spinning away from Donnie and pacing and worrying at his scarf. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Alive. Here. That this isn’t just some dream of mine again. I want us to be able to have that bond again, but you keep pushing me away whenever I try to get close. I just….I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong here, Don. I really don’t. Are you angry at me? Did I mess things up somehow? I would get being angry at me for….but at least tell me how I can make up for it. Please. I want to so badly—“

He broke off as Donnie tried to push himself to his feet, tried to take a step, seeming like he was frozen between walking out of the room and going to Leo's side. And then his twin's legs buckled again, and before Leo could even stop himself he was there, holding Donnie steady as they both sagged back towards the floor. For a moment, it was like the years melted away again. He was cradling Donnie through a bad shutdown, or distracting him with bad jokes as he bandaged a scrape, or wrangling him into submission so that he could get his yearly vaccinations, honest to Pete, why were all of his family such babies about getting shots--

But then he blinked, and he was back with a brother who was down a few parts, who had been through hell and back with him, who was currently trembling like a leaf against him. "Don?"

".....It hurts, Leo. Is that what you want to hear? It hurts so much. Fine. You win. Drag me off to observation or. Whatever."

He reached out towards his twin then, words soft. "Hey. Donnie, it'll be alright-"

"No! Nothing about this is alright! Stop saying that!" Donnie spun towards him now, hissing under his breath, words sharp. "You're supposed to....why don't you hate me?"

Well. Didn't that stun him into silence. His arm fell back to his side limply, voice strangled. "....hate you? Wh....why would I--"

"Why don't you! Why are you helping me? Why are you bringing me back and leaving me in this body that's in pain all the damn time and--why are you being so nice--" Donnie's arms flailed around then, karate-chopping the air as if to add import to his statement. "I said....I said I'd never leave you! And I left! All because I was too stupid to listen to reason and give up on the Technodrome mission! We promised each other we'd be there for each other! You're my twin! I'm s-supposed to look out for you and I couldn't even-"

All Leo could do was stare dumbly at the tears tracking down from Donnie's good eye, even as he angrily swiped at them and hissed under his breath. "I could have been here. I could have stopped you from getting so low that you'd use a spell that almost fucking ate you. I could have....I could have fixed things. We promised we'd never....I hurt you. I tried to. And I made you have to hurt me, so why don't you goddamn hate me. Shout, scream, get it out of your system, something! I broke our promise, I....you should....why are you being so....it doesn't make sense--"

Leo couldn't listen to this. He couldn't listen to his own twin spitting out all of this self-hatred. He pulled Donnie into a hug before he could stop himself, ignoring the startled hiss it drew from the softshell. "Yeah. You did leave. And it sucked for a really long time. And I thought I could have fought harder to keep you from going on that mission, but....Don, if there's one thing I'm learning, it's that you can't beat yourself up for mistakes you made when you didn't know any better. You can't plan for everything. Even if you think you can. I couldn't plan for losing the key being the thing that would set off an entire apocalypse, and you couldn't plan for them leaving a weird Krang virus in there for you."

"But I-"

"Don. Seriously. I don't hate you. Hated myself for a while, sure, but I could never hate my twin, alright? No matter what you did. And maybe having you here would have helped more, yeah, but....I still had people who got me through it. And you know me, I'm a stubborn bastard who doesn't want to admit when I'm actually having a problem with something. Who knows whether having you here would have actually made things easier or not.” He cupped Donnie’s face then, gently forcing him to make eye contact. “I’m being nice because you’re my twin and there’s nothing you can do to change that. And I want to make up for promising I’d protect you and then coming up short.”

“You didn’t come up short—“

“If I didn’t, then you didn’t either.” At the snort he got from Donnie, he continued. “Seriously. Remember that stupid song we always used to sing to each other? We’re sticking together through thick and thin. No matter what. Don, I brought you back from being dead. I loved you enough to do that. If I hated your guts, I wouldn’t have.”

Sniff. A swipe at his eyes. “No matter what I do….I’m always stuck with you….”

“Exactly. You’re stuck with me. No matter what. So stop pushing me away. I’m here now and we’re gonna make up for the time we missed.”

“…..okay.” Donnie’s voice was small, wavering, but he leaned into Leo all the same, inhaling and exhaling heavily. “I’m alive. Things will get better. I’m with you guys.”

“Yeah. You are. And we’ll make sure you don’t forget it.” He nuzzled into Donnie, churring softly under his breath, and smiled when his twin responded with a nuzzle and his own soft chirp.

“Make a “Purrytello” joke and you’ll find out whether I’m above throat-punching someone I just had an emotional moment with.”

“You’re no fun.” He huffed out a laugh against Donnie’s shoulder, smirking softly. “Hey. Don-tron.”

“You haven’t called me that since we were teenagers.”

“Well, I’m doing it again. What did the medical examiner say about someone that was attacked with a hammer.”

“No idea.”

“He died of a brain hammer-age.”

Snort. He could feel Donnie’s shoulders shaking against his as the softshell let out a wheezing laugh, singular eye glimmering with mirth. “That’s so stupid.”

“I missed that smile.” For a moment, he sat there, gently rubbing circles into Donnie’s shell while his younger twin nuzzled against him and chirped and let his instincts-driven brain rise to the surface. And then he yawned, stretched, gave Donnie a bit of a firmer pat on the shoulder. “You need help getting back into bed or whatever?”

“Bathroom first.”

“Got it. Alright, hop on, squirt, I’ll give you a ride.”

“I am literally a good several inches taller than you and you have the posture of a toothpaste container—“

And despite his twin’s offended squawking and his own cracking laughter, Leo felt the warmth between them blossoming, brighter and warmer than ever. Donnie was here. His brilliant, hard-working, stubborn twin was here to have his back again. Donnie was here, and so very alive, and the world seemed so much more full of possibility now. They would get through whatever else came their way together now, as they had from the very beginning.

And that old song came to his ears again—

You and me, me and you, two by two—

Only this time, it felt hopeful.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 09/03/2024

ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More) Fiddle de Chocobo - Final Fantasy VII

Ripped by Heboyi

It seems to be a running theme with the posts of Season 8 thus far to talk about all the possible new jokes that are growing in prominence on the channel. Joke-Explainer™ 7000 Fusion Collab covered a whole boatload of them in a medley nostalgically blending the old and new, while Willievan Afton Polkka was a deeper delve into one joke in particular, Stuck Inside. (By the way, a funny addendum: just a few days after KnightOfGames commented on that post saying there were more Stuck Inside rips to look forward to, we got another one - once again by KnightOfGames - mixing it with fucking PPAP of all sources. The guy knows no limits.) But anyway, in that aforementioned medley rip, there's one particular joke featured that stuck with me. A joke that, though its been featured in the back half of Season 7 already, I am vocally advocating for becoming the crowning jewel of Season 8. Because in case you weren't aware, 2024 is the year of the meat - The year of rips just like ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo.

Amidst the vast sea of internet personalities, IShowSpeed is certainly one of the loudest: a 19-year old streaming video games shirtless in his bedroom seemingly blew up overnight for his erratic, over-the-top reactions and genuinely fantastic knack for the dramatic and improvised comedy. As a result, the guy is an absolute goldmine of funny clips and bits, and much like someone like Jerma985 and Going Somewhere Jerma?, it was bound to inspire some rips by proxy. Hell, I'm half convinced it was IShowSpeed's infamous stream of the Talking Ben game that inspired the use of Talking Ben as a source in Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny: as far back as Season 6, Speed's influence was spreading onto the SiIvaGunner channel. Yet he was missing that...X-factor, that special sauce to make his legacy one to be remembered for all time. He was funny, sure, but was he stuck in people's minds yet?

And then, in late 2023, in a frantic response to being jumpscared by Chica in a Five Nights at Freddy's game, he accidentally "showed his meat" to his entire stream. A new legend - IShowMeat - was born.

On the one hand, I am incredibly out of touch with whatever Speed gets up to - most of what I'm telling you here is only my take on things from the small snippets I've seen online. But the meat incident truly escalated like nothing I've seen in recent times - the absurdity of the reaction that resulted in its reveal, Speed's own reaction to what he'd done, and of course - the tounge-in-cheek song released by Speed's own dad making fun of the incident, I Show The Meat. This was the last thing needed to make Speed a regular on SiIva, as rips using I Show The Meat and various IShowSpeed clips together have become a recurring trend - one that, due to all that I've talked about and the genuinely fun qualities of I Show The Meat as a song, I'm absolutely enamored with.

I had a vast array of options available to me for this post, to forward 2024 as The Year Of The Meat. Yet as Big Sus Chocobo showed all the way back in the blog's beginnings, I have a very exploitable soft spot for fun uses of Final Fantasy's Chocobo theme, and ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo thus became the one meat rip I kept returning to. That is also, of course, because the rip is just genuinely well made and funny - I Show The Meat's simple but recognizable beat already infuses a new energy to Fiddle de Chocobo, and the song's vocals are done to absolute perfection, utilizing parts from another Daddy Speed song in I Love Bowling. It becomes a sort of call-and-response dynamic, with the Chocobo theme's main melody utilizing I Show The Meat and the breaks and segments inbetween using I Love Bowling - yet the two songs sound so similar that it flows from one to the other incredibly seamlessly. Despite the completely different melodies of all three songs, the lyrics are edited just enough to fit whilst still being completely audible: In other words, it's the kind of rip that is incredibly easy to sing along to. Plus, yknow, there's just something incredibly funny about hearing a song about showing one's meat layered on top of such a silly fun-time melody as the Chocobo theme!

IShowSpeed only appearing this prominently on the channel due to a big embarrassing incident sort of reminds me of the Minecraft YouTuber Dream, with rips like Five Dreams at Night 1.16 and his entire event during Season 5 effectively poking fun at him for something that was...quite harmless, in the long-run. SiIvaGunner touches upon and references a big number of YouTubers, and I think this kind of playfulness is the perfect way to go about things. Because even though I'm not much of a fan nor much of a detractor of Dream or IShowSpeed, it is absolutely hilarious to follow the creative ways that their infamous moments have been used for laughs by the SiIva team. ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo digs deeper into Daddy Speed's list of songs to make something yet funnier, but still remains completely understandable to goobers like me who just think the phrase "I Show Meat" is incredibly funny. In my eyes, having that flexibility whilst remaining funny is a telltale sign that the joke is here to stay.

(Real quick, as I couldn't find a way to properly fit it into the text - I really want to shout out i show rottytops my meat (Consensually) by circunflexo of You Are Book Smart fame as another incredible meatpost of Season 8. I may write a post about it in the future, but put simply: its incredible in its own ways, using the Talking Ben sample just like Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny and a track with a crazy fun energy to it. Go listen to it after ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo - they're like two sides of the same juicy steak.)