#they're middle-aged and in love and that's actually so important

[tervaneula]

Yuichi hadn’t expected to run into two of his best friends from Neo Edo at the Hidden City markets and he definitely didn’t expect the direction the conversation had eventually taken. 

"You're dating a ninja?!" Chizu laughs so hard her breath wheezes and Kitsune stifles a snort into her sleeve. Yuichi's cheeks flush crimson under his fur. 

"W-what's so funny about that? You're a ninja!" 

"Yes, but I'm not dating an idiot samurai," Chizu says. That makes Kitsune burst into laughter, right in Yuichi's face. 

"Oh my gosh, Chizu is right. What does that guy see in you? Is he as big of an idiot as you are? When are you gonna introduce us?!" 

Yuichi resists the urge to pull his ears over his eyes and pretend this conversation never happened when he catches a glimpse of a familiar shade of blue against green on the other side of the street. Leonardo is tall and it's not hard to spot him in a crowd, even among yokai. 

"Well uh, you're just about to meet him," he mutters, desperately wishing for the heat on his cheeks to cool down. It’s not too obvious say, to a stranger, but Leonardo most definitely isn’t one and he can't have the red-eared slider see right away how embarrassed his friends are able to make him. "And he's not an idiot!" 

Kitsune just laughs but her eyes are sparkling with curiosity. Chizu seems interested as well and Yuichi thanks his lucky stars that she's quick to calm down, he doesn't know what he would do if both of his friends were unable to behave in front of his new boyfriend. Luckily (or not) he doesn’t have time to fully spiral into a flustered panic when a voice calls out to him. 

“Yuichi!” 

He turns towards the approaching turtle and can’t help but smile at the sight of him. The answering grin on the striped face is stupidly handsome and Yuichi forgets all about fighting down the blush on his face. He’s smitten, so what? If he wasn’t already flushed he certainly would be now and Leonardo deserves to see how much he likes him, actually. Something in him settles and the rabbit is certain that despite their teasing, his friends will love Leonardo. 

—

“Your friends seem nice,” Leonardo hums on their walk back to Yuichi’s house. The slider had offered to portal him home but instead, Yuichi had asked for a walk and invited him over for a cup of tea. He wasn’t quite ready for the day to end yet. 

“Glad you think so,” he smiles, “they really liked you. Not that it was a surprise.” 

Leonardo looks a little taken aback by that but he just chuckles and leans against the wall as Yuichi fishes for his keys. He looks a bit tired and the rabbit wonders if it’s the phantom pains again. Well, nothing a big cup of his auntie’s tea won’t help soothe, he smiles softly to himself as the door clicks open and he gives a little bow to the turtle. 

“Ladies first!” he jokes, and Leonardo laughs. He ruffles Yuichi’s hair on his way past him and the rabbit sticks his tongue out at him. He might be over forty but age will never stop him from being the impulsive little shit that he has always been. Leonardo, with surprising grace, pretends not to notice and slips on the guest slippers before quickly snatching Yuichi’s bag from his shoulder and disappearing into the kitchen to unload the groceries, humming a tune Yuichi can’t place. 

"You two seem like a good match." 

Yuichi turns to look at Chizu. She's looking at Leonardo and Kitsune squabbling over the last piece of mochi, a thoughtful expression on her face. 

"What?" 

"You heard me," she chuckles, shifting her amber eyes to Yuichi. There's a softness in them that takes the rabbit off guard. 

"He's a true leader. A brilliant strategist with charisma to match. I can tell. But there's also the burden that comes with it," she lowers her voice toward the end. "He's been through hell – don't look at me like that, he didn't say much but what he did say was enough for me to connect the dots – and this is where you come in. He needs to goof around and be stupid, things that were taken from him too early. He needs to be looked at with fresh eyes, to be loved for who he is now and not for the role he was born to fulfil – and who else is better suited for that than our very own silly rabbit?" 

Yuichi belatedly realises his jaw is hanging open and he closes his mouth with a click. Chizu has always been bright, brighter than anyone else in their little found family, maybe save for Karasu-Tengu, but despite the obvious parallels between the two he was not expecting her to jump right into analysing the mutant turtle to the core on their first meeting. As dense as he may be, it doesn’t slip past him how most of the things Chizu said were very true for her all those years back. 

"And how is he good for you, in turn?" the cat's eyes glimmer as her mouth twists into a smirk. "He can lend you some of those brain cells you so very desperately need." 

Yuichi groans and punches her on the shoulder. She doesn't even flinch, brushing it off with a grin. 

Yuichi closes the door behind him slowly, staring after his boyfriend. Chizu's words echo in his mind, I'm happy for you, and his chest feels odd. Full and tight and so, so warm. 

He takes a deep breath and feels the expected burst of butterflies settle into something new, calm and gentle. It’s a feeling he hasn’t felt before but somehow he knows what it means. 

He can’t wait to feel it more. 

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

points at u. how do u play eridan so well!!! hes such a tricky bastard to write for 4 some reason

It's because he's got so many problems and playing him is basically Mental Illness Simulator :') Whipped up a small (that's a lie, it's large and extensive) guide under the cut

ERIDAN DOES NOT HAVE FUN

First most important thing about playing Eridan: THIS BOY DOES NOT DO JOKES. He does NOT DO BITS. He does NOT HAVE FUN. If you check out his logs, pretty much every time he talks to somebody, he has a very clear purpose in mind (usually flirting or grandstanding). One of the few times he does strike up a conversation without a clear goal in mind, it's absolutely disastrous:

CA: fef CA: hey CC: ? CA: glub CC: Glub glub! CC: 38) CA: yeah CA: hm CC: W)(at is it!!! CA: wwhat

He's sooooooo so so so bad at conversation. He doesn't tell jokes. He doesn't know how to lighten the mood. He has no chill. He has no sense of humor. When playing him, if you are making jokes, you are doing it wrong!

The reason for this is because, psychologically, you have to imagine that he is constantly teetering on the edge of a murderous freakout. If he is not, at all times, Being Useful (AKA murderous, sea dweller-y), then Something Bad Will Happen. His entire life is about duty, pressure, responsibility, and, accordingly, at ALL TIMES, he feels an extreme, anxious weight on his shoulders, which makes him incapable of indulging in "frivolous" behavior, like making smalltalk or doing things for fun. In fact, sarcasm and facetiousness are literally considered childish by Alternians, and Equius associates it with lower blood colors:

CT: D --> Humorous insincerity is for pedantic wigglers AG: Pshhhhhhhh, I know! I know you never make jokes. I was the one 8eing sarcastic, you stooge! AG: I was 8eing sarcastic a8out you 8eing sarcastic. Duh. CT: D --> That's because you're a little worse than me

That's why it's also kind of important to make him not really have hobbies. Eridan DOES have interests: he loves wizards and magic, and he's a hipster. HOWEVER, he only ever talks about magic in pursuit of some other goal, like finding a date or winning at a rivalry, AND he's constantly denying his own interest in these things, because they're frivolous, stupid, ridiculous, and deviations from what he "should" be like. He actively distances himself from things that make him happy. In fact, we only know he's a hipster because it's part of his design and Karkat mentions it once - Eridan himself has never talked about it. That's how far he's buried anything that actually brings him joy.

If your Eridan is smiling for ANY REASON, you are DOING IT WRONG!

While we're on the topic, things Eridan is NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN:

History (he only ever talks about history in the vaguest possible terms; I think he is book smart and genuinely knows a lot ABOUT history, but his actual interest in it is middling. He's just expected to be really obsessed with history, especially military history, as a member of the aristocracy, and he reads it in the same way as one doomscrolls on twitter - it's a way for him to self-reinforce his own mental illness and soothe his cognitive dissonance)

Marine life/marine anything (he's TERRIFIED of the ocean, and has spent a few days underwater TOTAL. He knows nothing of the sea.)

Weaponry (he HAS a lot of guns, so he definitely knows how to use and maintain them, but there's a reason he outsources the building of all his doomsday devices. Also, he got a "god weapon" early on in his life, and has kind of just been... using that. He neither has a need to know much about weaponry, nor has ever displayed any particular interest or knowledge. He leaves fully loaded harpoons just lying around on the floor of his house. It's knowledge of necessity, not interest.)

Hunting/Violence/Murder (he's really good at it, he knows a lot about it, he will teach you on request, he will mention it constantly, but he doesn't actually derive any particular joy out of it, especially since we know his thought process after each kill is "that's going to make an orphaned troll very sad. they will be culled soon :/")

Fashion (he has more of an interest than the average Alternian, but it's still not a lot. He dresses up to emulate Dualscar, and his actual clothing choices beyond that are pretty disastrous. Canon Eridan has never shown an interest in fashion. Even if you do want to play him with an interest in fashion, which I think is fine, you have to remember that he deliberately distances himself from anything that brings him joy, so even if he likes fashion, he'll keep that a secret and insist he only does it for utility purposes.)

Pale Romance (just throwing this in there, it's the one quadrant he is *never* shown to pursue. He's tried Feferi and Nepeta in flushed, Sollux, Terezi, and Kanaya in ashen, and Rose and Vriska in pitch. if anything, he goes out of his way to AVOID pale romances, both because he just had a painful pale breakup, and because he freaks out at the implication that he's weak in any way, which pursuing a pale romance would all but be admitting)

The thing that makes playing Eridan so hard, I think, is that he's abjectly fucking miserable, BY CHOICE, and for most RPers, playing a character who's abjectly fucking miserable kind of goes against the appeal of RPing in the first place (that is, having fun). All of the things he says he's really into are things that he either has no interest in, or that actively make his life less enjoyable. All the things he spends all his time thinking about are things that make him feel anxious and hopeless. All the things he actually likes and would have fun with are the things he actively, deliberately, and loudly decries and suppresses.

So that's point 1: Eridan does NOT have fun.

ERIDAN IS AGGRO AS *FUCK*

The next most thing I see that trips people up is that they make Eridan too friendly, usually as an extension of accidentally giving him too much chill. There are two main factors here at play: the first is that he's desperately trying to be a violent, casteist, oppressive, dangerous sea dweller, and outright pushes that image, and the second is that he's really fucking anxious ALL THE TIME, and most peoples' sociability goes down when they feel the cold breath of the reaper on the backs of their necks 24/7.

When looking at the 4 responses to danger - fight, flight, freeze, and fawn - Eridan will overwhelmingly choose "fight," with "fawn" as his secondary option. This makes absolute sense in context: all his trauma comes from its inescapable nature - if he tries to run from his duties, everybody dies; if he freezes up and fails to complete them, everybody dies. Therefore, his only two options are to Fight, and to channel that violent response into completing his duties, and to Fawn, to capitulate to the things that are hurting him - much moreso the former than the latter. Unfortunately, that bleeds over into everything else. Great!

We can see this illustrated really well in his conversations with Kanaya: Eridan does not ask for favors or help, he makes demands:

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin ... CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

ERIDAN: you should of told me about this ERIDAN: if theres goin to be any sort a hope for our race as the prince of hope i demand to be invvolvved ERIDAN: so dont go anywwhere wwithout me got it

The only time he ever really backs off is in confessions, where he's willing to be like "hey, I think we really got something here, don't you think so?", or when talking to Karkat (Karkat is really the only person that Eridan doesn't feel the need to put on airs around, and we can only speculate as to why. It's because they're destined moirails for each other.)

He will also do this for statements that he isn't 100% sure about. If he's going to say something, he is going to ASSERT IT as if it is IMMUTABLE FACT, even if he's immediately disproven. In which case he will admit fault, but then his NEXT wild assumption is the IMMUTABLE FACT.

CA: wwell fine you dont havve to behavve vvillainous if youre bent up on actin against the grain a your nobility or somesuch CA: i can play that role its not like i evver didnt get my gills dirty before TT: Nobility? What are you talking about? CA: wwell arent you TT: No. What gave you that idea? CA: the wway you CA: ok CA: i had a misconclusion about that so my fault CA: obvviously you got rich blood so maybe when you crash landed you wwerent recognized for it by wwhatevver vvehicle upholds the class structure in human society

I feel like he's the type who, if he's genuinely unsure about something, he just won't say it at all. Basically, Eridan is always operating at either 0% or 100%, with almost no in-between. NO CHILL. Given that he only strikes up conversations when he's trying to achieve something from it - whether that's actively getting someone to do something for him, or just trying to assert that magic is fake - he treats every conversation like it' i's a battle, where the prize is whatever it is he's attempting to do, and his conversation partner is an enemy that he has to beat into submission. (Karkat is the only exception. He actually just likes talking to Karkat, and will do more traditional "hey man you wanna talk about your feelings" kind of dialogue with him.)

If your Eridan has chill, you are doing it wrong!

ERIDAN STRUGGLES WITH EMPATHY

This really needs to be qualified: he does HAVE empathy. He DOES care about his friends. But his brain is really cooked, and he has an extremely difficult time actually working up the emotional energy to express or experience it.

He's kind of downright sociopathic, lol:

ERISOLSPRITE: iim of the miind2et that wwhen you havve a rock 2oliid piiece of a22 tiied twwo the dock, you dont bloody wwell tug the knot loo2e and 2hovve the fucker off wwiith the heel a your boot. ERISOLSPRITE: but then another part of me ju2t wwonder2 wwhat the FUCK ii ju2t 2aiid there? liike that wwa2 ju2t 2uch a wweiird 2ociiopathiic thought ii had, ii hone2tly had no iidea howw bad ii could po22iibly feel about my2elf untiil ii BECAME my2elf, iif THAT make2 2en2e.

Like, okay, how do I explain this. His body count is 2000+. He has an EXTREMELY difficult time caring about life or death. He's had to watch kids cry over their dead parents. He has had to kill kids trying to protect their parents, whom he has then had to kill. And he has done this over, and over, and over again, as long as he can remember, to the point where he calls it "all i evver done practically."

Just for the sake of preserving what's left of his sanity, he's had to learn how to not care about that. If he sees someone crying in front of him, it's unlikely to even emotionally register to him as anything beyond "factually, this person is sad." Shit happens, people die. Violence, tragedy, murder, injury, and death are literally daily occurrences to him. For you, the day I killed your lusus was the most important day of your now tragically short life. For me, it was Tuesday.

Vriska is in the same boat, BTW. I think a combination of just being a less sensitive person to start with, the existence of a support network (Equius and Kanaya and Terezi as friends + she was friends with Team Charge before the... incident), and the lack of all the Duty(tm) and Responsibility(tm), helped her cope a bit better, and be better about opening up to people and relying on them for emotional support.

What this means, in terms of playing/writing him, is that his priorities are extremely skewed, and he is genuinely not going to understand things like "maybe I shouldn't tell this land dweller I'm trying to kill all land dwellers," or "maybe this person is sad and I should comfort them," or "maybe my constant talk about murder and death is offputting to other people." Here he is, literally not understanding why insulting and belittling Kanaya has led to her not wanting to help him, as well as not understanding why Vriska might've blocked him:

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery Ovverbearing GA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

His brain is constantly running at a fevered 100% full-tilt run; he doesn't have the space, leisure, or energy to spend considering things from the perspective of other people. It leads to weird paradoxes, where he IS considerate of other peoples' feelings, but doesn't actually consider their feelings. After spending almost the ENTIRE conversation with Kanaya belittling her and demanding she be his and Vriska's auspice, he abruptly switches gears:

CA: fine i get it ill step off CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

Because he LIKES Kanaya, he REALLY CARES ABOUT Kanaya, he WANTS GOOD THINGS for Kanaya... and yet is entirely, wholly, not taking her feelings into account at all.

BUT! This also applies in reverse! You can make all the death threats and casteist insults and demands towards Eridan as you want, and he won't give a shit aside from his usual grandstanding protests. The only time we ever truly see him offended is when he's genuinely trying to do Jade a favor by giving her the code to his gun, and she calls it a piece of shit and tosses it out with the trash - and even then, he doesn't take THAT much offense. Judge for yourself:

GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it! CA: god damn it CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me! GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do! CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species

After all, he's accustomed to much, much, much worse. His emotional response here is indignation, not even really HURT. Karkat also makes a bunch of genuine death threats towards Eridan, which get entirely written off as "wwitty repartee." He's just really bad at processing hostility! Hostility is very normal to him!

So basically, before letting Eridan engage in any act of empathy or compassion, you have to ask whether or not he's going to recognize that the situation would call for that in the first place, which he is REALLY BAD at identifying. He only asks Karkat if Karkat wants to talk about his feelings after Karkat explicitly says that he's freaking out in every possible way, and without that explicit indication, I don't think Eridan would've even noticed.

If your Eridan has social skills, you are Doing It Wrong!

This also means that, even if Eridan has realized that he needs to act compassionate, he's still going to be really fucking trash at actually providing emotional support. He can't even emotionally support himself, you think he can figure it out for other people?

The most he can do is call it like he sees it - "this is a stupid thing to get worked up over," for example. Or he can jump straight to solutions, like "so what, are you gonna kill that guy?" Being as charitable as humanly possible, he might be able to fire off a "that's rough, buddy" at ABSOLUTE maximum.

ERIDAN KIND OF JUST SEES SLURS AS FACTUAL DESCRIPTORS (AND OTHER GENERAL NOTES FOR HIS SYNTAX AND VOCAB)

And, let's face it, on Alternia, they kind of are. Kanaya doesn't even bother to call him out for calling Karkat an assblood, Terezi and Feferi and Sollux don't bother taking offense to calling Sollux a mustard blood, and Karkat calls himself a gutter blood at one point. Like, even if you're playing/writing an Eridan who's rejected Alternian society, he'll still probably be out here calling people slurs? Things that would be considered hostile from other characters are very much just neutral coming from Eridan. There is no emotional difference to him, calling someone a rustblood or a burgundy, but he's expected to say rustblood because of his sea dweller status, so that's what he goes with.

Also, make some grounded but wild assertions about people and things. This boy loves to Assume. Writing Eridan is a lot of going "ERIDAN DON'T SAY THAT!!!" it's great. Really painful. Highly unrecommended.

He's obviously quite book smart and uses a lot of big vocabulary words. You guys need to have Eridan go on these insane purple-prose rants more often. They're so fun to write and so cringe to post.

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

For no reason at all. I'm going to post a little Karkat for comparison.

PCG: THE FUNNY THING IS IN THE FUTURE EVERYONE WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS THE UNDISPUTED LEADER, EVEN YOU. PCG: YOU WILL BE STANDING ON THE TIPPYTOES OF YOUR IDIOTIC METAL SHOES, TAKING DELICATE PURCHASE OF MY NUBBY HORNS AND HOISTING YOURSELF OVER MY HEAD TO PUT YOUR SWEATIEST TOUGH GUY SMOOCH UPON MY TWITCHING SPINE LUMP. PCG: IT WILL BE TENDER AND DEFERENTIAL, LIKE A PAUPER KISSING A NOBLE'S RING. PCG: JUST SCROLL DOWN, READ THE LOGS.

Also, notes about his typing quirk:

First, the ww and vv stuff is actively a fake accent he puts on for the #Aesthetic, and his natural way of speaking doesn't include those at all, so it's entirely likely that if you're writing him after he's rejected Alternian society, or if he's trying to be really really emotionally sincere, he wouldn't be bothering with that part of the quirk specifically.

He doesn't ALWAYS drop the G at the end of words ending in -ing. It's frequent and common, but don't feel bad about letting a word end in a g, especially if it would sound or look better (for example, "being a kid and growwing up" doesn't bother to drop the g's at all).

Similarly, he doesn't ALWAYS change "of" to "a," especially preceding a vowel sound. You gotta be careful with when you change this up, because he pretty much only does it when it would make sense spoken aloud.

In phrases like "must have" or "could have," he will often (but not always) change "have" to "of" (so "must of" or "could of").

Dropping the D from the word "and" happens only one time in the entire comic, so it's probably a typo, and if it isn't, it's REALLY REALLY infrequent.

He will sometimes use shorthanded words, like "em" instead of "them" or "ya" instead of "you." I'd say it's occassional, a bit rarer than the G-dropping. He does tend to use "got to" instead of "gotta," however. Again, try saying his lines out loud, to figure out when best to use what.

Given his loquaciousness and clear command of the language, it's likely that this is for Style, but he also doesn't always bother with proper grammar. Places where "[person] and I" would be used are often switched out for "[person] and me," and he might forgo a contraction like "I've" or "we've" and just post the pronoun (for example, "you got to" instead of "you've got to."

He references ocean shit, and ocean anatomy, like his own fins and gills, pretty often! He just doesn't do the puns. Try using "flippin" instead of "fuckin" every now and then, or "glubbin" instead of "talkin," or nautical analogies.

Also throw in some British "bloody"s every so often.

Cusses like a sailor, though, has one of the highest "fuck" counts relative to wordcount out of all the characters (cough like Karkat cough).

HE DOES NOT USE PUNCTUATION. EVER. (Ok, he does use a period once while talking to Terezi in Alterniabound, but I think that that's a mistake because it's literally the only time). This is actually in STARK contrast to other characters that don't generally use punctuation, like Aradia or Nepeta, who will still use ellipses, exclamation points, and question marks. Eridan actively, consciously forgoes using ANY punctuation, EVER, even for questions (which you shouldn't be asking too many of, because Eridan makes DEMANDS).

ERIDAN DOES NOT ANGST

This is another thing that I see a lot. Yes, Eridan thinks that he's worse than everybody. Yes, he deliberately keeps fun things at bay and focuses on things that make him miserable. Yes, he's sad, anxious, emotionally neglected, etc. etc. But I often see this self-loathing played for dramatics - Eridan being withdrawn, quiet, moody, and sad. Or being consumed with guilt and regret, and wishing he didn't have to be a murderer or wasn't forced into the position he was. And that's just not the vibe.

Because Eridan has a lot of pride. He refuses to appear weak, and he has genuinely lost the emotional capacity to feel too guilty about all the killing. Moreover, here's something I often see get overlooked:

He would think of the murders he committed, and the fact that he's so good at murdering, as good things.

It's not only useful, but oftentimes NECESSARY, for somebody on the team to be willing to make those kinds of sacrifices, to be willing to pull the trigger. Very literally, murder kept him and his friends alive long enough to play the game.

There's no universe in which Eridan would denounce killing and violence, because to do so would be to say that he shouldn't have kept his friends alive. Even in a hypothetical golden ending, where everybody survives to the end, Eridan would be the guy on the team who posits murder as a potential solution to problems, reminds people that society is built on sacrifices and suffering, and offers to do the dirty work himself if nobody else has the stomach for it. As much as being the orphaner was DISASTROUS for his mental and emotional well-being, he wouldn't regret the things he did.

And this is reflected in the comic - the rare times he does break down and show that he kind of hates himself, the focus is never on guilt or regret, it's on his perceived shortcomings - calling himself an idiot or pathetic. Because that's what his real insecurity is - he doesn't hate himself because he sees himself as this awful piece of shit, the way Sollux does, he hates himself because he thinks of himself as not good enough, because if he's Not Good Enough, then Something Bad Will Happen.

Remember, his danger response is FIGHT. It's a different paradigm than what most of us are used to, which is why I see his inner turmoil so often represented by him being moody and broody, which he's never really done in the comic. Eridan doesn't get sad, even though he is sad; he gets mad, aggressive, combative. He doesn't wallow; he just keeps swimming.

CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

Again, his response to being insulted is indignation, not hurt. He doesn't sit in his room feeling sorry for himself, he obsesses over genocide and murdering all the land dwellers. His response to seeing the love of his life turn on him with killing intent is to flip out and start killing right back. After being broken up with, his response is to go and pester his friends (and yell at Gamzee a bit) until he can get some emotional support. He doesn't angst, he tries to solve the problem, and, if he can't solve the problem, he starts shooting.

He's awfully violent! If your Eridan is not awfully violent, you're probably doing it wrong!

BUT, ERIDAN LOVES HIS FRIENDS

At his core, however, as tangled up in all of the above as he may be, Eridan loves:

His friends

Wizards

Magic

Probably hipster shit

Happy endings

He is still, after all, a HOPE player. He struggles as hard as he does because he can't give up on the idea that things will get better, eventually. Even if he's struggling in the wrong direction, toward the wrong ideals, and even if emotionally, he's feeling more and more hopeless and closed in, he can't stop himself from trying, and trying, and trying again.

He loves magic. As much as he tries to push it away and calls it stupid and fake and lame at every turn, he still brought his shitty wands onto the meteor. Why does he love magic? It's an extension of his inability to give up. No matter how hopeless the situation, no matter how awful he feels, no matter how unrealistic salvation might seem, if only magic is real, then there's a solution. He wants to be a wizard so badly because wizards can do magic, and magic can overturn reality, and reality is this awful, inescapable nightmare. He is constantly being caught between nihilism and pessimism and hope and belief. In the comic, the nihilism won, but that's the great conflict at the core of his being.

So ummmmm yeah, I hope any of that helps with writing the fish boy at all. Basically, if you aren't constantly cringing while writing the bullshit that comes out of his mouth, you're probably doing it wrong...

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Musing on Ages, & Dragon Prep

"Desire" mention - how much does Tensu know of the details of the origin of dungeons? (More than I do, probably...but I know this is thematically important.)

"Us"? Aren't gnomes another long-lived species? Ok this is going to be continuously relevant to the geopolitics so I need to break it down. From the wiki:

Elves: lifespan: 400; adult at 80

Gnomes: lifespan: 240; adult at 40

Dwarves: lifespan: 200; adult at 40

Tallmen: lifespan: 60; adult at 16

Orcs: lifespan: 55; adult at 14

Kobolds: lifespan: 55; adult at 13

Halffoots: lifespan: 50; adult at 14

I see - so really we're dealing with 3 factions: Elves, Gnomes & Dwarves, and Everyone Else. I find it interesting that the longer-lived races reach maturity at 17-20% of their average lifespan, while the younger-lived races all do so at around 25% of their average lifespan. I feel a little like this is a cop-out on the writer's part in trying to keep the ages of maturity a little closer to one another - though of course it's a cultural thing by each race (and, I'm sure, each culture within each race - idk how monolithic the whole comic will treat them, but it would track with the thematic worldbuilding for their to be multiple distinct social groups within each race, even if they do tent to band together against the other races!)

Based on the categories of "long-lived" and "short-lived", the latter seem to view all of the former as much the same - but I'm SURE the Elves have a different view of it, and I'm sure the Dwarves and, as we see here, Gnomes, are very aware of and irritated by the Elves' view.

...and as we see here, and earlier with Chilchuck admitting to being 29 (solidly middle-aged!) and Marcille going, "Aw, so you are a kid!", people rarely make any effort to understand each others relative ages, instead just coasting on their own life-based assumptions.

With reference to above, we can see that Namari at 61 is pretty exactly equivalent to Kaka and Kiki at 20.

Also: this little scene wasn't in the show at all and I love it! Namari in mentor mode!

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ALRIGHT RED DRAGON TIME!! Hey look, literally the 2nd panel in this ghost city is 2/3 winged lions by volume. Hmmm...

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I love how it's explicitly Shuro's job to get the final killshot, presumably because he has Feats for this (ie, cool-looking moments) as a "real" anime character (Easterner). This literally bears up with what we see of him in the future.

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Chilchuck: I will NOT fight!

Chilchuck: I'll totally be dragon bait with you, though.

Chilchuck: Not that I care if you succeed or survive or anything! I'm only here because you paid up front.

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Laios using the Inspiring Leader speech feat! They're all having a Heroes' Feast before fighting the dragon, a classic pre-dragon act for bonus HP and immunity to being Frightened! I know this isn't actually D&D but that post that I think came through my queue earlier today is right: it DOES have the same bones. It's like reading the Locked Tomb and being aware that this author was deep in Homestuck, or Scholomance vis a vis Harry Potter canon and fandom. I know where this writer has been, because I have been there too.

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THE BOY IS HERE! THE MAN THE MYTH THE OVERWORKED* LEGEND!

THIS SISTER-EATING MOTHERFUCKER!!

*Crack AU where the whole dragon fight is averted because it talks and somehow the conversation leads to Chilchuck going, "And the Mage isn't even letting you sleep? Tsk. You've got to start a union." And then Laios gets all starry-eyed, "A Monster Union?!" And then the Mage is eventually defeated by all the monsters of the dungeon, and also the poor sane ghosts as well, unionizing against him, and "king" becomes just the title for the Union Rep, whose main job is to honk an airhorn at presumptuous Elves and tell them to fuck off like a Canadian goose.

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I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[greenqueenhightower]

Hey.

I constantly argue back and forth with TB stans that Jace, Luke and Joffrey aren't legitimised just because Laenor, Corlys and Viserys go along with Rhaenyra’s lie about them being "trueborn". As I'm sure you're aware, in Westeros only a king can legitimise the illegitimate by first declaring their bastardy and then legitimising them afterwards. And TB stans. Just. Don't. Get. It. They also seem to think that the King's word is law in Westeros. They don't understand that this a feudal monarchy where the king and his vassals are reliant upon each other and both must respect the social contract in order for the Westerosi social structures e.g. monarchy to be maintained.

IMO, they fall for the narrative trap of the Targaryen characters. Just because Viserys and Rhaenyra say that the King's word is law doesn't actually make it law. It's only law as long as the king has the ability to enforce it. Therefore, if a king did something insane in the eyes of his noble polity, e.g., try to place his bastards in the line of succession, they'd rebel proving accurately that the King's word is in fact not actually law. Aerys's overthrowing is a great example of this. As is the reign of Daeron II: if his word was law and everyone had to obey him, no one would have joined Daemon Blackfyre's rebellion.

Anyway back to TB stans. I think alot of them don't actually realise how the world works. Even GRRM confirmed the bastardy of Rhaenyra’s 3 son's for goodness sake. Every time they try to deny it using the aforementioned argument it only confuses me. Are they insecure about Rhaenyra having illegitimate children? Is that how far they're para-social relationship with her goes?

They also have another stupid argument that Rhaenyra's kids having her blood means that they can inherit her throne. No no no no no no no no no. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS TB. If it was Westerosi lords with bastard relatives, it would allow them to inherit. You have to be trueborn. It's unfair but these unfair laws are what keeps Westeros from constant civil war. That's the point of inheritance law in the Seven Kingdoms.

Anyway, sorry about the rant. It's just that sometimes when I argue with certain TB stans they don't seem to understand the laws of the world they're fans of. They will bend over backwards to excuse their faves, not understanding that you are allowed to criticise a character you like (& in their case love). I think Rhaenyra is an interesting character - moreso in the book TBH - I just don't get why so many TB stans willfully refuse to understand the way in which the laws of the world she inhabits work. Any thoughts?

Hi anon, it took me forever to get to your ask but you're right! 💚

Not all TB stans share the same views, and there are people in here with whom you can converse intelligently, but I have also seen the discourse you're referring to, and it is very annoying when the stans don't get it.

You put the Westerosi legitimization process very well. If we consider the greater Middle Ages-inspired world-building context that Westeros is based on, it makes sense why bastardy is a stigmatized social issue. Blood "purity," lineage, and legitimacy are important because they are the only way land and titles are bequeathed and inherited.

The King is the only one who can legitimize his own illegitimate children as heirs, but he can do so for other illegitimate children, regardless of whether these are related to him by blood. King Louis IV, for example, legitimized John II Duke of Brabant's son, Jan Cordeken, after a petition John wrote to him thus enabling him to inherit his father's fortune and found the House of Glymes. From Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome to Enlightenment Europe, there are examples of Kings legitimizing not only their children but also the children of their officials, courtiers, and friends. It was seen as granting a favor to them, and when it came to personal matters, a King might choose to legitimize his children when he ran out of heirs, or in the case of Louis XIV, because he could and wanted to.

In other words, Viserys, who knew of but chose to ignore Rhaenyra's sons' (his grandsons') bastardy, had ample time and opportunity to legitimize them but chose to blind himself to the truth instead. What was that about Alicent calling Viserys "weak" in one of the deleted scenes of S1? Well, "weak" isn't the only word I would use to describe him... also irresponsible, foolish, and inadequate.

Nevertheless, the legitimization process in history was seldom favored by the court, the King's vassals, and the people, and caused quite a stir. As you say, the King's law didn't hold up that much ground compared to the law of tradition and at times the Church. The people didn't care if a King legitimized a child by naming them heir... the stigma of being born "illegitimate" wasn't washed off that easily, because bastards were seen as devilish, impure, half-breeds, unnatural hybrids, and so forth. So Viserys choosing to ignore the issue face front was bound to be catastrophic, because no matter how he tried to silence the tongues that wagged by threatening to cut them off, the issue of his grandsons' apparent bastardy remained, and THE REALM would not accept any of them on the Iron Throne, for the same reasons.

And Viserys did nothing about it. He could have confronted Rhaenyra when Jace was born and reminded her of the stark reality of the consequences of what she was doing. Not only did he name Rhaenyra (a woman) as his heir, which alone was controversial and unprecedented, but a woman with three illegitimate children, whose existence never even tried to correct or prevent. Viserys alone weakened Rhaenyra's claim with his lack of foresight and counsel.

If TB uphold the "Viserys loved his grandsons and he accepted them as they were" narrative, they are not only deluded but lack media literacy as well, because Viserys DIDN'T CARE if his grandsons were trueborn or not, or if that would plunge the realm to war, the same way he didn't care that he had named Rhaenyra as his successor when the realm, who was so used to having Kings for centuries, knew he had THREE legitimate sons of his own.

So my two cents on the discourse would basically be that those who don't understand the social and political repercussions of Rhaenyra having bastards, not being counseled as to why this is destructive, left on her own to raise them, and having to cope with the consequences of her actions as she realizes that the father she so loved and admired didn't protect or support her at all, are missing out on a much more interesting character in Rhaenyra and a more complex dynamic with her sons, who she now understands are exceptionally vulnerable and potentially threatening to her cause.

This is a far more intriguing reading than anything TB stans are getting at with their "no criticism" ban on Viserys and Rhaenyra.

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP

Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart. Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.

Wela and Khemtid

These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.

Then we have these three dorks

The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.

Freya and Meiji

They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.

Khem and Freya

gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK

Also we cannot forget Dai

I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold. Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me. Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly. THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.

[erinthesails]

god. the botched first time together is such a good way to play it. like im personally in hell and praying for a swift death of course, but i feel like.

the entire point of the show is not getting things right the first time. it's about trying again and again and realizing that it's never too late to find yourself, learn more about yourself, grow and change and discover things that are important to you. we've been talking about this all week with the differences between the season 1 "you wear fine things well" scene and this one, where the first time everything is picture perfect but doesn't go how they want, while the second one is real, grounded, imperfect, but honest. their first kiss being, again, when they were in totally different places, and not able to really connect in the way they needed to, even if it was grounded on the romantic notion of running away together (and maybe even BECAUSE the whole premise of that first kiss was so romantic--that's a lot of pressure!)

i think we're going to get something similar with them sleeping together. like, this first time was passionate, intense, romantic, etc. but notice, we don't see a genuine smile from ed the whole time. he's swept up in the moment, he wants stede, i dont think it's an issue of consent, but he KNOWS that this isn't right. that they're STILL in different emotional places and probably shouldn't be doing this here, now.

there's so much emphasis placed on firsts, just generally, in life. your first kiss, your first love, your first time having sex...getting it not just right, but perfect, ideal, the first time is so fucking important in western culture and the very premise of this show refuses to give that impulse to perfection validity. this is a show about two middle aged men who have had loves, marriages, lives, careers, families, whole histories before they met each other. two men who have, to various degrees, settled with the "first" things that came along to them in life because not to do so was a sign of failure. and all it got them was unhappiness and decimated senses of self worth

i actually really like that their first time together is the same way. i think it's setting us up for a second time that blows the doors off the first, and a lifetime of even better as they listen and learn and understand each other better. nothing ever ever has to be perfect the first time, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it to try again and again til you get it right!!! and they each know that the other person is worth it! worth fighting for and trying again for! i think they both just need to learn that they themselves are worth it too

[gabessquishytum]

Dream is a virgin. Which is insane, considering that he's a bazillion-years-old concept, and he's not sex-averse, he's just been very busy, okay? He's tending to the dreaming minds of the whole universe, and he's also a workaholic. He had a few romantic interests here and there, but somewhere between his dedication to his work and purpose and social awkwardness, his romances died out before taking flight, and he never got anywhere sexually. He had occasionally brief moments when he wondered if he might be missing out on something, but he had the whole kingdom to run and yada yada. So, when after the fishbowl Dream somehow gets himself a boyfriend, everyone is surprised, but most of all, Dream himself. His romance with Hob is blossoming, they're taking things very slow, and Dream's flying (sometimes literally). He doesn't even think of his little problem with lack of experience until eventually, he and Hob end up in the bedroom, both half-dressed, and things are obviously heating up. Dream realizes what's actually going on and internally freaks out: he does want to know what it feels like to be one with Hob, want to feel the shape and weight of his cock inside this manufactured body, wants to...how did Matthew put it the other day? Wants to have his guts rearranged, that's it! But he's also suddenly scared. What if Hob would be disappointed if he told the truth? Hob knows what he is now, what if he expected a skillful lover, taking into account that he's about to fuck the manifestation of all fantasies? Also, what if it's going to hurt? And okay, this vessel technically cannot be hurt by such a paltry activity, but Dream's very core can be. Because he loves Hob. He wants their first time - and his first time - to be good and special. Hob doesn't understand what's wrong, but he notices that Dream starts to spiral. He nudges the truth out of him with patient kisses and gentle touches until Dream shyly confesses he's never had sex before. Hob is equally shocked and turned on (you can take a guy out of the middle ages, but you can't take the middle ages virginity king out of a guy), but he can work with that! Dream is about to be ruined.

So sweet. I kinda love the idea of Dream just. Not having time to have sex. He's been busy, okay, time flies when you're a very important cosmic entity!!! He managed to conceive Orpheus with Calliope as like a..... meeting of artistic minds. Nobody took their clothes off, though.

And Hob really does think that it's rather lovely. Of course it's daunting, being the one who gets to pop Dream’s cherry. But it's unquestionably a lovely privilege. And it's hot. It's really fucking hot to see Dream blushing and spread out on the sheets of Hob’s very ordinary double bed. Hob is so fucking in love with him. It's doesn't matter that he's Dream of the Endless, who contains all of the fantasies that every human has ever had. Right now he's Dream, Hob’s boyfriend, squirming and shy and flushed pink from his cheeks to his cock.

Hob is also very very good at sex, and that is quite helpful because he knows how to make Dream whimper by kissing the inside of his thigh or thumbing over the crown of his cock. And when Dream is whimpering, he's also forgetting to be nervous or think about how he might be doing this wrong. He's mostly just thinking "more" and "please" and also "fuck".

And they do fuck. Eventually. When Dream is loose and trembling, practically undone already. It's a dream come true, which is the highest compliment Dream can come up with. He'd like to do it again, when he can remember how to hold a physical form without melting a bit into the mattress.

The cuddles are an unexpected but wonderful bonus. And Dream is quietly hopeful that Hob will always, always hold him. Sex or no sex. Because he loves Dream as much as Dream loves him, and that means that he's never ever letting go.

[incorrectbatfam]

Can Bruce read his gremlins a bedtime story?

Once upon a time—

Ugh, no. Go back and try again.

Jason, let the man read.

Not when it sounds like that. It's Sleeping Beauty. A fucking five-year-old can do it.

Alright, starting over. Once upon a time, there lived a princess in a castle.

Where else would she live?

I get what you're saying. Where was I? Right. When she was born—

Can we go back for a second? What kind of castle are we talking about?

Not again.

A good story has detail, Cass. Now give me the layout. Is it more mid-century or a little earlier? What fortifications do they have? Do the floor plans allow for guards to covertly sneak around? Are they prioritizing enemy intimidation or civilian—

Mid-to-late-century, reinforced walls with hidden cannons and watchtowers, they have underground tunnels, and civilian trust because their only enemy is Maleficent. As I was saying—

What's their contingency plan?

Tim!

The story is the contingency plan, you wet sack of hamburger meat.

Wow, spoiler alert.

Someone called?

I thought you went home?

And miss this trainwreck? As if. Too bad Tumblr doesn't have more colors because Duke would love this.

Huh?

It's a fourth wall thing. Don't worry, I've been working on my impression of him.

Let's see it.

Please don't.

"My name is Duke. I cry at Lord of the Rings."

In his defense, Frodo and Sam have a beautiful friendship.

Back to the story. When she was born, her parents threw a grand jubilee where all the kingdom and its fairies was invited. The fairies all arrived with presents—

You think they would have a baby shower before the baby is born, right? What, the first few days they're just going without diapers?

This was the Middle Ages. They believed in leeching the humors out for a common cold.

Also, you can throw showers after the kid arrives. Our own dad did it.

At least you weren't the guinea pig. Try explaining to a bunch of important rich people who brought gifts that actually, there is no baby, it's me and I don't need diapers or footie pajamas.

Says the guy wearing a Kid Flash onesie.

Says the one in a Superboy shirt and conspiracy theory pants. Pick a side.

I have two hands and I'm not ashamed.

Okay, there's a lot to unpack there—

Jason married Roy!

What?!?

It's for tax benefits. Not all of us can own a multi-billion-dollar corporation.

Your name's on the will.

Yeah but I'm never gonna get it 'cause Bruce isn't gonna die long enough for me to use it.

What do you mean?

He's talking about the retcons. You should ask Duke, he can see into other dimensions.

Ooh.

Ahem, I believe Father was telling us a story. I speed-read it so I know they all die at the end, but I'd like to hear your delivery.

Damian, you're reading this morning's obituaries.

Same thing.

Truelove'skissbrokethespellandtheylivedhappilyeveraftertheend. Terrible job everyone, now lights out.

[greenerteacups]

my heart aches for one Theodore Nott after reading the latest update 😭 GTC, could you tell us more about your thoughts on him, his characterizations, how you manage to write him so poetically and beautifully, and (a shot in the dark, but i'll bite) the role he'll play in books 5, 6 and 7? congrats on another chapter GTC, i love you tons 🩷

Thank you so much, friend. I love talking about Theodore Nott. I'll gladly bite on that question.

To start off, Theodore's middle name might as well be "THE FOIL," because everything about him is tailor-made specifically to Say Things About Draco Malfoy. He practically hands Draco a card saying "I AM YOUR JUNGIAN SHADOW SELF, PLEASE HANDLE WITH CARE" upon introduction. They meet when they're both fresh off the train. (Hermione beats Theo to Draco by a matter of hours; there's a ton of ways this story spins differently if minor details about the first chapters were changed, and that's definitely one of them.) Then Theo and Draco ride in on the boats together. (Admittedly, I was not aiming for subtlety points with this intro. They are literally "in the same boat.") Immediately, Theo is throwing out narrative parallels like he's getting paid for it: they both have a dead parent. Both parents died under weird circumstances. Their fathers were both Death Eaters. Both of them are the sole heirs and only sons of great wizarding houses. Then they go into the Great Hall together, standing in line, but — and @piedrafundamental left a really banger analysis of the Sorting Hat scene in the comments on that chapter, but I'm going to crib just one line — crucially, "M comes before N." Draco's sorted before Theodore is, and he goes into Gryffindor. Immediately after that, Theodore's shunted into Slytherin, and their paths diverge. Call this the prologue of their relationship. They're not actually gonna get to know each other until Book 2 and Book 3, but this is the part where the narrative is basically jumping up and down and waving its arms at you, going "HEY! THIS GUY! IMPORTANT TO THE STORY! GET WORRIED ABOUT WHAT HE'S DOING, OKAY?"

Then we meet him again in Book 2, and just like Draco, a year at Hogwarts has changed him. He's a little more confident, a little more cocky, a little more comfortable, and — hey, look! He's got a weirdly intense friendship with a girl around his age, too! (Surprise, surprise, Draco is with Hermione when he meets Theo again, and who makes her debut in that moment but Pansy Parkinson?) And there's Daphne, the third leg of the Slytherin Trio, the kind of girl Draco probably would end up with in Slytherin — pretty, sociable, cunning, knows his family history (literally cites it to him in their first introduction, like c'mon), is the sister of his canonical wife, etc. etc., we got layers to this shit like lasagna but this post ain't about Daphne so we gotta move on — point being, either way he flips, Draco's going to be the fourth of a quartet. Which is the entree into the Slytherin politics storyline of Book 2, a.k.a. "the temptation of Draco Malfoy," where Theo is — I mean, to be honest, for once he's really not doing anything that sinister; from his perspective, he's kind of just putting his fucking back out trying to make a friend? He's drawing Draco in a regression towards prejudice and comfort, naturally, but that's not how he sees it. But there's a counterpoint between what Theo's offering and what waits for him in Gryffindor.

So that's the starting block of his character. The rest of the work is building a real person out of that; obviously, you can't just go "this is Foil Man, does whatever a Foil Can" and expect people to be interested. Part of what makes Theo interesting, to me, is that the traits he shares with Draco include a lot of what we tend to like about him — he's driven, intelligent, cunning, and brutal in the defense of those he loves — it's just that the people he loves, the people he surrounds himself with, are deeply prejudiced people committed to doing profoundly bad things. He's been trained from birth in the art of making bad people happy, and he's gotten good at it. And he's just enough of a coward (again, pot and kettle) that he can't imagine a world where that's not the case.

And it drives him fucking crazy that Draco won't admit that. Because I think Theo thinks if he can get Draco to admit they're similar people, it'll validate the choices he's made — like, yeah, he's fucked up horribly, but anyone would do the same, if they had to face what he has. Even Saint Draco. And of course, Draco is absolutely unwilling to go there with him, because:

(a) he very much does not want to believe that his years of grueling internal growth and struggle for betterment are just the product of some good luck with a hat; i.e., a suggestion that is not just insulting but terrifying because it suggests how very close he could be to regression at any time; but also:

(b) it is a fundamental tenet of Theo and Draco's dynamic that Draco does not like Theo as much as Theo likes him. Because where Theo sees his mirror in the light, Draco sees his mirror in the dark. And it's an increasingly ugly picture.

[rrat-king]

And what if I tell you my Fight, Flight, Fawn theory for the Appleboys reuniting with Kristen. What then? Going by your age gaps of 2, 4, 8 because they're canon adjacent and the idea of the Applebees having a playpen when three out of four kids were 14, 12 and 10 is too funny. Assuming a reunion between Kris and the younger two happens post her birthday so it's 17, 13 and 9 respectively. Buckys is analysing his actual response we saw from 14 year old him. When I say leave in reference to Kristen, know that I know it wasn't her choice (Mac and Donna when I fucking get you)

Bucky got the Fawn response. I'll be real, when I began theorising that an Applebees brother would feature I thought "Oh god here comes the angst. There will be resentment, Mac and Donna have undoubtedly been talking shit for two years. But we see him and he's happy. He missed her. He hugs her. He wants to hang out. And yeah that probably stems from the fact you'll naturally miss your sibling and the fact he probably had to take the oldest sibling mantle. But he barely even commented on her life and friends (aside from the half baked comment about her living in sin and side eyeing Fig). I was expecting more problematic behaviours to be honest. The theory is he entered full people pleasing mode, desperately tampering down any complicated feelings because he NEEDS to make himself a good brother that Kristen will want to stay for this time (of course not realising Kristen will stay the best she can no matter if he kicks and screams)

Bricker got Fight. Was like 10 when Kris left, and I say this with love, in the absolute throes of puberty. I don't know what it is but this kid just gives me angry vibes, maybe it's the middle child. Very Nico DiAngelo "He looked too young to be so angry". When you're a kid, especially in that horrific period of 10-13 you go to the easy solution which is being mad, and you go to the easy target which is the one who "started" this huge upheaval (read Kristen). To a lesser extent, Bucky, for trying to play big brother (Bricker doesn't even realise this but the anger mostly came from a subconscious desire to preserve Kristen's place in the family for if she comes back).

(Bonus: Once they have a very good conversation and Bricker is reassured Kristen never did stop thinking about and loving him he will cry three years worth of pent up tears and beg her not to leave again)

Cork got Flight. He was only 6 when she left, its been 3 years of experiences (little man went from first grade to third in that time its a Lot). Kristen has physically changed a lot since they last saw each other. All this to say, he takes a minute to recognise this older person who's eyes are all wet at the sight of him. Some part of his brain blocked out memories of her because the way she was just gone one day was so scary to his little brain. When it does register who she is, Cork becomes completely unlike himself and gets shy. He makes Bucky stand close by because all he knows is that 1. This is a heathen who rebuked Helio's light 2. This is Krissy, back after what felt like forever and 3. She's so cool looking and why would someone this cool ever want to talk to him.

(Bonus: She played it off but Kristen's heart did break seeing Cork, the little boy she raised, take a minute to work out who she is, when she never forgot him. Not to quote Taylor but very "And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe")

god yeah kristen having partially raised cork only for him not to know who she is anymore/barely recognize her haunts me so much. bucky as a people pleaser is such a good read especially as he is forced into kristen's role as head of the siblings I just. yeah. also angry bricker is so important to me. he got left behind! he's not ok with that and he's gonna be angry. god I just. applebees kids make me crazy this is such a good read.

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 28

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 5.1k

IMPORTANT a/n: Hello! This chapter is all flashbacks!

Next chapter things start to pick up. I will still be loosely following the plot of Narcos but not the exact timeline for times sake. Would just feel cruel keeping the babies apart for five more chapters! I hope this doesn't hinder anyones reading experience.

Send asks! Enjoy

Summer 1986

There is a heat wave and you find it as a personal punishment.

You stand in the middle of your empty room and feel nothing. You see the wallpaper lifting, small drawings you made when you were a child and you see dust untouched and you feel not much.

You’re in a dress.

One you hate, but you let your mother have some control for one last time. Baby blue with off white stripes, ruffling at your neckline. Blue little heels leaving an indent in your vacuumed rug. You bought that van you passed on your way to work with the black and red for sale sign.

Packed all your belongings and held a tag sale on all your furniture. 

It wasn’t common in your culture what you planned on doing. You family is meant to be by your side forever. You don't leave.

Up and leaving like spoiled Americans, that's the way your mother saw it. She kept her thoughts to herself but you heard her on the phone with her friend.

Ranting in Spanish about your ungrateful ass. That you were given the world, you had a roof, you had a bed, and look what you give in return.

The truth is, if the endless cycle of familial guilt didn’t exist in immigrant households everyone would grow some balls and leave behind those who mistreated you– even if they were family. 

You see your mother and you see someone who wanted to leave parents that never seemed to care for her either. You see her as a young woman determined to build her own life. If they hadn’t died she’d still be in Florida in their basement hoping one day they’ll care to show love to their daughter. The cycle continues. You suppose you’re breaking it, or maybe creating a new one–who’s to say.

You’ll ask your kids when they're in their twenties.

Your mother lived for approval. It’s why she spent hours on the phone with random “friends” who acted as yes men while she described all her flaws and missteps without shame. They will tell her how she is so strong and doesn’t deserve a spoiled brat like you.

An overgrown popular girl. Your mother was.

She scurries to the feet of the Smithfield's to help with their wedding. In an attempt of kindness, she’s never been very good at this, she promises not to be so involved in the wedding considering it– "makes you all depressed.”

You looked at her with a squint but decided to nod, reminding yourself that soon you’ll be gone. You planned on sleeping in the morning of the wedding. To which that idea died when your mother frantically barged into your nearly empty room. 

“The air conditioning in their church is out! We have to move services outside. I have to get it set up.” And then she slams the door and bolts. You shut your eyes tighter and let out a scream that was actually quite liberating for 30 seconds until you were reminded that your step father was still in bed with the baby.

You pretended to be asleep when he banged on your door as a warning. You eventually do doze off and find yourself waking up numb in more ways than one at 1:30 pm. 

You told yourself that you will only attend the ceremony. You knew if you stayed for the reception you might throw down one too many mimosas and end up vomiting on Lorraine and crying for Javier.

So… yeah no.

You dress up, paint your face like a fraud and you can’t cry so there's that scary truth. You were floating, finding yourself nowhere in the middle of your empty room. So that’s when you find yourself giving your room one last look for a little while. In the dress your mom bought. Rugged floor with a mattress splayed in the middle and nothing else but cobwebs and wall drawings. You don’t dwell, you don’t think but your nails are picking at each other and you’re so scared to be alone again. 

You leave and load your new truck stuffed with your entire life and drive to church. 

You think of making the wrong turn at every light, because you could just leave for good now. Save yourself from reality.

Javier and his father spent a few nights the past week having hard conversations. They smashed down cases of beer and Javier attempted to absorb all of the golden stories his father had to offer. 

Ultimately Javier wanted to know what he felt when his mother was pregnant. 

He said to him that he felt this pull towards her, Flaca.

Despite their rocky relationship it was like her hormones and his existed as one and all they could ever think about is how they were going to be having their own little family.

Chucho says that it’s common amongst new fathers to feel guilt when they take any small glance at their partner. Because what a task it is to grow a person inside of you. He says it isn’t the typical feeling you get when someone you know is pregnant. It isn’t just a, let me be nice to her she’s with child. No, Chucho had the urge to worship the ground she walked on, thank her—he said if she was craving pickles at 2 am he’d go out and buy some. He said this pull was biological, there was no explanation for it. 

Javier wonders when he’ll begin to feel that. At all.  

“Can I be honest with you?” Frankie flattens the lapels of his tux in Javier’s poorly decorated room. Javier flicks ash in his tray, he was beyond grateful that the heat wave hadn’t fucked with the power at his dad’s ranch. If it had, the heat might have triggered him at the wrong moment and he’d be running on foot away from the altar.

That’s just the sort of mood he was in.

He was almost looking for an excuse to not get married today, to give him some time so he can find a way out while also still obtaining the right to see his child grow. 

Lorraine slept in his bed all week, Javier slept in the living room most nights. It was two nights ago when he slept in the same bed as her. He had snuck into the room for his new pack of reds he left in his jacket late at night when he heard her crying. They talked about their fears, or he explained his anxieties and guilt and she stayed silent. He dozed off with a small bump below his hand and a promise of being a good father.

He thought it was you next to him and woke up in a cold sweat. 

Today he woke up numb. Chucho had been silent and to himself ever since Lorraine made her place in the home. Chucho was going through his own grief in ways, he was losing his son all over again. He was losing you too and soon he would be completely alone like he was when Javi was in Houston and you were in college. Javier supposes he’s also angry at his irresponsibility. Just a month ago they were knee deep in dirt and Chucho begged him not to hurt you again. 

Javier’s father left the house early to help with setting up the small wedding. Lorraine was at her parents place getting ready with her mother and Javier was here, at home with Frankie.

Javier was stalling a bit, he got the call that Lorraine was already on the road and Javier hadn’t even perfected his tie yet. He shoots a glance at Frankie. “I feel like you’re always honest, even if you’re being a fucking dick.” Javier mutters, pulling his tie over his shoulders. Multitasking, taking a drag with one hand and assembling his tie with the other. Frankie chuckles. 

“When you asked me to be your best man a few days ago I thought about punching you.” He shrugs, swiping his curls out his face and sipping the beer at Javier’s nightstand. Javier frowns because he knows this isn’t just a little joke amongst friends. “And listen, you were dealt some shitty cards, this whole situation is fucked up. Luckily the impending doom of fatherhood has made me soft and I know you probably need me to be your friend right now– and I will but just know it’s really hard.”

Javi looks at the ground, he can't look your brother in the eye. He felt like he did last Thursday when he saw you in 7-11, when you looked at him and pretended he didn’t exist.

He knew it was really over, and he felt like nothing.

“I wanted to marry your sister.”

“I know.” 

Javi looks up at Frankie and find him looking away. They were best friends but their vulnerability never stretched beyond reflecting on their childhood. This was new and they couldn’t look each other in the eye. “Before… all of this. Me and Andrea planned on telling you about us.”

“Hmph.” He clenches his jaw.

“Would you have… been okay with it?”

It's silent again, just the distant white noise of his clunky AC.

“Yeah. I was angry when you first came home and honestly still upset until recently about how you left her. But my priorities shifted so I guess I would have been grossed out but ultimately happy that you know… finally.”

Javi chuckles, “Yeah… finally.” It all could've been so simple. "She would be better off without me. I'm glad she's making this move." Javi mutters.

Frankie doesn't agree but his silence is enough answer. “I don’t like Lorraine very much. But I’m about to be a dad, you're about to be a dad. I feel like this was an opportunity to be a better friend to you. I hope that our kids become best friends so I feel like you know… I gotta be here now to make that happen.”

There was the silver lining in all of this.

 The promise of a family. Even if the family was just Javier and his child. That could be enough, it was enough for his father. Javier grins at Frankie and he grins back. 

“She’s probably waiting at the altar. Let's go.” Javi jokes and adjusts his tie. Frankie gets to his feet and points to the ceiling and looks up with it.  

“Padre ruega por nosotros.”

“Thank god you’re here. They’re running so late. Lorraine is cursing up a storm inside.” 

Genie grabs your arm and pulls you into the makeshift ceremony set up. You’ll give it to your mom, she did a decent job making this look alright. The guests weren’t seated, instead they were gossiping in small groups. It was far too hot to have a wedding outdoors. You scan and realize this wasn’t the modest little wedding that was on the invitation. 

Surprise! We’re getting married at Laredo Baptist on June 21st . 

It was handwritten and left on your counter by your mother last week. You would be surprised that so many people showed up in such short notice but it’s Laredo, and it’s the preacher's daughter getting married to Laredos DEA prodigy. There were so many people from your high school you swear you could faint. 

“Isn’t the ceremony scheduled to start in 3 minutes.” You rushed out of your truck when you saw the time on your stereo. The last thing you wanted to do was walk in late when Javier’s saying his vows or what not. 

Vows.

Why am I here? 

Genie nodded in annoyance, “Sit down on the third row next to my purse. Your mom was in shambles arguing with Chucho inside about Javier’s tardiness. I’m going back to that.”

“Do you want me to come with-“ You don’t know why you asked, it would be mental warfare for you. Your mother rowdy and Lorraine cranky. It’s like your least favorite people in one room, dumb idea. Genie knew it too and just squeezed your shoulder and walked back towards the church. You watch her go with a sigh and make your way to your seat. 

The hair on the nape of your neck sticking to you like glue. You missed the seventies, you missed when the dresses your mother bought you were flowy— not stiff and hot and ruffly. It was a sensory nightmare on top of the fact this whole thing was a nightmare-nightmare.

If anyone knew your situation besides your lovely sister in law, they’d smack you upside the head and force you leave because good. Lord, was this stupid. You wondered every six minutes of today why in the world you were doing this to yourself. It wasn’t as if the situation alone made you forget what it felt like to be happy. 

But there comes that sliver, the tiny line of delusion that has you believing that this is all real.

 That it’s a hoax, that the cameras are rolling and they’ll be revealed soon. So maybe you’re at the wedding in hopes of the camera crew to come out with a surprise before the I do’s. It’s healthier to say that you’re here because watching it happen will officially end a chapter about the thing you once thought was meant to be the premise of the whole book. 

Two rows behind you, you could hear the chatter. 

“I don’t get it. He’s been home for two months without her. Now all of sudden he’s getting married. It’s fishy.”

“Exactly! It seems like a shotgun wedding. Lorraine Smithfield would never get married in a such a disorganized manner if this wasn’t obviously some front.”

“Not to start anything but I swear I saw Javier kiss Andrea outside that party Xavi threw for memorial day.”

“Andrea? Like Frankie Diaz’s little sister?”

“Yes! I heard that they hooked up in high school. I always thought they would bang.”

“Javier hooked up with everyone in high school.”

“Nah. This was different. I think he was dating Lorraine when they did. Super sneaky because Lorri and Andrea were buddies.”

“I don’t think so. I know Andrea, she's shy, she doesn’t peg me as a homewrecker.”

“Eh I guess. I don’t know, regardless it’s too bad for her. I remember she had the craziest crush on him, now she’s watching him get married.”

“Tragic.”

“Speaking of, why is he so late?”

Lorraine didn’t feel like Chuchos beat up truck was an appropriate ride to roll in for their wedding so she left him her car. Frankie loaded into the passenger's seat all fidgety and nervous. Javier still had been on a rare mental high of picturing holding his child for the first time. Frankie really brought it out of him and despite dreading getting married—he saw the slightest glimpse of hope. 

But ultimately he knows at the end of the his short ride will be an altar, and you in the stands. It was his worst nightmare. He knows married life with Lorraine will be unpleasant. Just dating life with her left him a bit scarred. Tantrums and shattered plates. Holding her wrists so she couldn’t claw at him in a fit of anger. He tried to understand her, he really did.

She told him about her parents cheating on each other constantly. The yelling and constant fighting. Mrs. Smithfield was an explosive partner, Lorraine took after her he supposes. 

They were the classic case of town socialites. Pristine and prim and perfect to everyone else. Behind closed doors, toxic and unhealthy. She told him all of it after one of her blow ups over him working later than usual. In hopes to excuse her actions. He listened, still he grew more and more resentful of their relationship with every argument that ended in him consoling him. He found it difficult to empathize with her. You can only be so awful so many times, only a few times could be excused by trauma. 

Javier rolled his tongue on the side of his mouth, clenched his jaw and held the steering wheel tightly as he inched out of the driveway. Driving as slow as he could, he needed more time. Frankie was fidgety, the same way he was two weeks ago when he was getting married. He was rambling the same, Javier tried his best to keep it together. The air on Lorraines car was shit. The suit was thick, and itchy and a bit too big. He didn’t have time to be tailored. 

Didn't have time to be tailored. How fucked was that. 

His eyes had bags and he wasn’t smiling. His chest was tight every second, it loosened at the thought of being a father. He still almost had that. He was close to telling Frankie to shut the fuck up. He was so deep in his own ramblings he hadn’t noticed that Javier purposefully drove in a loop, finding the courage to make the left on main street. 

“You know maybe it isn’t all that bad. You two aren't doing vows, service should be quick.” Frankie drummed his fingers along the dash. Wiping sweat from his brow and settling back into the car seat. 

Javi mumbled in blind agreement. 

“It’ll be nice, me and you with baby carriers. Women love that shit, not that I’m interested but you know for you.”

“I’m literally about to get married.” Javi deadpanned. 

“Well, you know it’s not like traditional. Or maybe it's very traditional, most marriages around here are arranged in a way you know? Like preordained. Half of the married people here are with the only person their parents let them around growing up. Always a family friend, or a high school sweetheart. Not me, I found my wife. She rejected me a few times but you know I found her.” He gleams and Javier can’t imagine feeling the same way he does. Maybe he was familiar, but he isn’t anymore.

Javi shoots him a side glance. “Genevieve was your high school sweetheart though.”           

“I guess. We broke up like ten times though so we both had our fun. We lived before we settled. I’m happy she took me back that last time. I wouldn’t want a family with anyone else.”

How lucky, Javier is tempted to verbalize but he keeps it to himself. “Hm.” Javi circles the street one more time. 

“If you’re going to keep stalling we might as well…” Frankie reaches into his jacket pulling out a zip lock baggie with a perfectly rolled joint. He noticed then, Javier wasn’t sure if he should feel embarrassed or not for being so shameless in his anxiety. Javi chuckles and nods in approval. “Lighter?” 

He shrugged, “Never been in this car, check here.” He leans over, tapping the glove compartment and straightening up. “You think they're going to kill us for being fifteen minutes late.”

Frankie shrugged, tucking his hand on the handle and opening the thing. A yellow lighter and three papers fall out. Two white with black type on it, and one little black square. A sonogram. Javier smiles at the sight, it seems a bit different from the picture Lorraine let him have. The baby seemed smaller, it must have been an earlier appointment. Far before she came back to Laredo. Frankie seems to not care, he was zeroed in on that lighter. “Clean that shit up man.” Frankie chuckles, grabbing the papers. 

He smiles at the sonogram. “Little guy. This shit is crazy. Lorraine Smithfield, June 6th 1986 12 weeks pregnant. Who would have thought?” Frankie chuckles, losing the doctor's note back in the compartment. Oblivious to Javier's silence, he flicks the lighter on. His brows furrow at the stoplight and make the left to take him right back to the house. His chest tight, and jaw tight. Frankie turns his head. “You alright.”

Javier blinks, once, twice. He holds the third time, the tips of his ears hot. Knuckles white. Frankie catches on, and in a panic grabs the paper again. Flipping to the second page, another note, from another appointment. And from Frankies, quiet, You’ve got to be fucking with me, the time was confirmed.

 Javier closes his eyes again, sees your face, feels the blistering heat. 

He turns his car around.

The chatter is unbearable. The people are getting antsy and the sun is getting hotter, somehow. Your dress is itchier, you’ve scratched your thigh about twenty six times. A nervous tick, you dig your heels in the grass. Dirt surfacing at your fidget.

He’s nearly half an hour late now. You’ve listened to your ex classmates gossip for far too long, you’ve been tempted to turn around and make your presence known for minutes now. Mr. Smithfield came out ten minutes ago blaming the wait on a wardrobe malfunction which earned laughs from everyone but you.

You read straight through the lie. 

You were about to reach for your twenty seventh scratch when a cold hand grips your shoulder. You turn your head and flinch at your mothers closeness. “We need you inside. Now.” She doesn’t give you a moment to think. She's taking your hand and making heads turn while she drags you to the front of the church. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the dark surroundings of the powerless cathedral. It's loud inside, Spanish and English overlapping. Arguing, yelling, crying. 

You drop your mothers hand and stride toward the noise. Afraid, and confused. Your heels tap against the polished floor. And your mother scurries behind you as you turn the corner and find the scene. Chucho cursing in his mother tongue. Lorraine crying, holding her stomach and Genie yelling at Mrs. Smithfield.

You blink, once, twice and wave your hands. “Woah– What's going on?!” You shake your head. Placing your purse on the ground. Lorraine looks up at you and breaks into more tears. Her mascara ran down her blushed cheeks. Her dress poofing beside her on the pew. Her father held her shoulder, with his nose pinched. Your mother is holding your arm. You shake her off. You silence the room with your presence. 

Genie turns to you fully, her cheeks red from anger. “He’s not the father.”

You don't register what she means. You stare blankly at her for a moment. You look at each of the people in the room, and it hits you.

It hits you and you take a step back like it was a physical threat. Your eyes flick to Lorraine and she's looking at you with eyes like an apology.

“I thought– I thought it would fix us– I”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” It has your head spinning, it echoes off the walls, felt like it could rattle the stained glass windows. For a moment you're unsure who it came from. You have never heard Chucho raise his voice and it strikes you. It blurs for you. 

“Do not cuss at my daughter. It was what we felt was best for her situation.” Mrs. Smithfield strokes Lorriane's hair and she leans her forehead to her mothers stomach. Chucho shakes his head and removes his hat. He holds it over his chest, with a face of absolute devastation. He takes one look at you and walks away from the scene. 

You swear you hear him rip a sob as he walks away. Torn from head to toe at the pain his son must be feeling. You want to forget the sound of the strongest person in your life crumbling.

But you– you- you're angry. You close your eyes and breathe slowly, shake your mothers grip away. You hear Genie take some steps towards you and you accept her hold. You feel anger burning so bright, the reflection in your sockets burn orange. 

Calmly, you ask, “Could someone please tell me what's going on.” 

Genevieve is angry too, she jumps to it. “She’s been lying– she knew it wasn’t Javi’s he–” She takes a deep breath. “I can't believe I called you a friend.” Genie cuts straight through Lorraine and she racks another chest heaving sob. Genie rolls her eyes and moves to stand in front of you. Blocking a view of Lorraine.

She walks you around the corner and away from the family entirely. It’s just the two of you at the entrance of the church.  “Frankie called me. He found notes from her most recent appointment. The timeline doesn’t add up– Javi– he– He’s so hurt. He’s not coming. Frankie’s on his way, he doesn’t want to be around anyone.”

Your chin quivers and you're embarrassed by it. You do not want to cry in front of her. 

“He shouldn't be alone.” You frown, lip trembling. “He shouldn’t, I have to go– I can't believe this.” You nearly take a step but she grabs you again. 

“No– No. Chucho will go see him. Her parents knew– they were trying to save their image because she doesn’t know the father. And she–she believed this could fix them. She planned on getting back with him before she even knew she was pregnant. She’s only three months along, Andrea… I– I’m sick to my stomach.” Tears form at the corners of her eyes and she holds her own stomach. You hold her this time, rubbing her arms. You weren't sure if you were trying to soothe yourself or her. Maybe the latter.  

“Hey, hey, take it easy for her.” You join her hand on her stomach and she breathes steadier at that. You stay like this for a moment, grounding her while you float. While your heart is filled with pure rage. While you think of how upset he must be, how many irreversible changes you’ve made to your life because of this situation– this hoax– I have to see him. I have to tell him I love him, that I’ll break my lease. I’ll lose all the money I threw away to run away from him. I will be there, tell him it was never his fault. That I will never be angry with him.

“Please…” You whisper, “Please I–” You’re cut off by Lorraines audible sobs and fuck it, you’ve had enough. You let Genie go and she watches your face contort in genuine discontent. You shake your head and you begin to walk away.

“Andrea!” Genie calls for you but strut right back into the nave. Lorraine looks up at you and all you see is self pity. 

You reach down to grab your purse and you tuck it under your arm. You hold your chin up high and there are no tears.

 “You are an evil person. I spent years feeling guilty about my crush on Javier- feeling guilty because you were so kind to me to my face. But really Lorraine, you're just a mean girl. I would never wish anything bad upon you. Living the rest of your life as yourself is enough karma.” Her nostrils flare and she deserves all of this. Being left in tears at the altar. You hope to god that Javier never speaks to her again. That she repeats this day in her head forever. Without closure. You look to her parents who seem to be praying. Eyes closed, holding her shoulders. You take a step forward and slam your hand against the pew. It echoes loudly and they snap from their performance and look at you. “Pray harder, all three of you are going to hell.” 

You turn at their gasps and walk back into the atrium where your mother is sat at the stairs to the basement with a frown. Genie is still in the same spot, rubbing her stomach. You dig in your purse for your car keys. You almost forget that your entire life is packed in that thing right now.

“I’ll call you later. I have to go make sure he’s alright.” You wave to your mother and begin to walk when you hear Genie call your name. 

“He asked not to see you.” It rings around the halls of the church. Echoing, a satisfying sound to no ones ears but Lorraines. Your heart dips low.

“What?” But you aren’t sure you heard correctly. 

Genie looks at her shoes and begins to cry. “I don't know Andrea– he- he said to not let you in the house. He can't– he doesn't want to see you.” Your breathing hitches and your eyes gloss over.

“What do you mean I–”

The church doors open and your body whips around to face your brother.

He had been crying too, he looks at the car keys in your hands and back up at your tear stained face. And he knows.

“You can’t go. He– he doesn’t want to get in the way– not again.”

And fuck it, you're bawling in the middle of your childhood church. “Get in the way of what?”

“He knows you're leaving, he knows you signed the lease. He knows you got a job in New Orleans.”

Shaking your head again you try to walk past your brother but he steps in front of you again. “Frankie–please just move. I– I’m not changing my whole plan– I just need to see him.” You move your way around him and near the door when he calls out once more.

“He knows that isn’t true. He told me. He knows nena. He knows if you see him again you will never leave. He knows you’ll give up all your plans for him. He does not want to see you.”

He's speaking to the back of your head and for a moment you pause. Each word hit like slices. You, an open wound in front of everyone.

Soaking it all in. Feeling everything and nothing all at once. 

You open the church door and step back into the sunlight. Looking at the grass full of people still waiting on a wedding that was never going to happen.

Every step you take, you nearly trip, you quicken your pace once you see your packed car. Your eyes so full of hot tears you can barely stick you key properly. Cussing at yourself between tears until you can figure it out. You're not sure how long you cry in your car but you cry long enough for people to start leaving the wedding.

You lay your head on the wheel for most of it, afraid to be caught by onlookers. Your chest rips in stomach churning sobs. You know he’s right, you know you'll leave it all for him. You were ready to be nothing and no one together. Hold him until he’s had enough, until Colombia. Revert to your original plan of just… you and him and the summer. Just us. And if you did, it would hurt all just the same.

Your head hurts less.

Your eyes dry.

Your dress discarded in the passenger's seat, changed into a t-shirt and shorts.

Milk shake in your cup holder, eyes still puffy.

Chest tight but the sun sets and you think you’ll just cry more when you get there. 

You drive to New Orleans and don't look back.

[glorious-spoon]

46. …out of envy or jealousy. for any pairing you'd like! only if it sparks joy, if not, no worries!

thank you! a bit of idiots-in-love buddie fluff; i hope you like :D

-

Eddie does not, in his defense, actually plan to do it.

Not like this, anyway. Not in the middle of a crowded bar, not without actually talking to Buck about it first. He's been planning on talking to him. He's even worked out a rough script of what he wants to say. The main points anyway—the things it's important for Buck to know.

I want to take you out on a date. I think we might have something really good. I love you, I've been in love with you for years.

Probably not those last two parts. Not before he even manages to take Buck out on a real date, although the truth is when it comes to Buck there's really no such thing as coming on too strong. He still expects everyone around him to be one wrong move away from leaving.

So that explains this. Maybe.

Buck is warm in his arms, and his mouth is soft and startled against Eddie's, but he gets with the program fairly quickly. He doesn't shove Eddie off like Eddie half-expects, in that instant after the kiss starts when it's too late for him to change course or try to play it off. Instead, he melts into Eddie's arms.

His hand finds Eddie's hip, clutching and warm, and Eddie pulls him closer. Buck makes a soft, happy noise into his mouth, too quiet for anyone else to hear over the noise of the bar that seems very distant now, and tilts his head. His lips part; his tongue is hot, and this—is definitely the kind of kiss that shouldn't be happening in full view of the entire goddamn bar, even if it is late and dimly lit and it's just the two of them here in this corner of the bar.

Well. The two of them, and the guy who was over here blatantly flirting with Buck when Eddie came back from the bathroom. But he's gone now.

"Hey," Buck whispers when they finally part. He sounds breathless; his cheeks are flushed.

He looks happy. Eddie clings to that. He kissed Buck, and Buck kissed him back, and he looks happy.

"So, um," he says, when Eddie doesn't answer, too busy trying to throttle down a rising tide of panic. "Not that I'm complaining, at all, but where did that come from?"

"Uh," Eddie says eloquently, and to his mortification finds himself glancing toward the pool tables, where the dark-haired guy who was here a moment ago has long-since vanished into the crowd. He jerks his gaze back to Buck, but it's too late: Buck has already caught him.

"Wait," he says, starting to grin. Eddie kind of wants to sink through the floor, but for the fact that it isn't mocking at all; Buck looks absolutely goddamn delighted. "Wait, were you jealous?"

"No," Eddie lies defensively.

"You were! You came back, and he was flirting with me, and you were jealous." Buck savors the word like it's the finest wine he's ever tasted. "You were marking your territory, that's why you just kissed me!"

Eddie puts both hands over his face. "That's not why I kissed you."

It is, sort of, but it's not the main reason. Just the last little nudge to his self-control, which has been crumbling for ages now. That last little moment, when he saw a dark-haired stranger leaning into Buck's space, laughing, and some furiously greedy part of Eddie that he barely even knew was there reared up and snarled, no, mine!

And now he's here, mortifyingly exposed, and—Buck hasn't run. Buck is, in fact, still touching him: a warm hand on Eddie's hip, just above his belt. He's smiling. He looks happy.

"No?" he asks.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and makes himself look back at Buck. "I kissed you because I wanted to. I've wanted to for a while." 

For an agonizing moment, Buck doesn't answer. His eyes scan Eddie's face; his lips are softly parted. They're red where Eddie was just kissing him. He desperately, desperately wants to do it again.

"Oh," Buck says finally, softly.

"Is that okay?" It doesn't come out as steady as he wants it to. But Buck smiles then, sudden and bright, and he pulls Eddie in with unmistakable intent.

"Yeah, it's okay," he says, and kisses him back.

-

(For these kiss prompts!)

[thekrows-nest]

The Super Special Secret Krow Lore Post

Aight. So according to the last poll y'all wanted to get the secrets of Krow in nitty gritty detail. There may be still those who don't wanna know (yet) so I'll put it under a read more. Also because it'll likely get long lmao.

His name

So I mentioned that his legal name is Isaiah. His full legal name is Isaiah Kolan Johnson. Isaiah is a biblical name meaning "god is salvation" and his middle name Kolan as well as sounding pretty fucking unfortunate also means "dove keeper". Johnson I just tried to think of the whitest sounding surname I could lmao. Krow was adopted/fostered by a conservative fundamentalist Christian family that valued reputation more than the well being of their kids. The parents have three bio kids and, not counting Krow, eight adopted and/or foster kids. Essentially they adopted/fostered kids to show to their community and church that they're "such good Christians taking in impoverished and/or PoC kids cause they're SUCH good people" but really the only kids that got ANY positive attention or care were the bio sons (the bio daughter was just expected to look after ALL her siblings). All the other kids were pretty neglected both physically, mentally and emotionally. The parents are John and Esther The names of his fellow foster/adopted siblings are: Jacob, David, Matthew, Noah, Peter, Sarah, Abigail and Leah The bio kids names are Adam, Joseph and... Mary. (: Krow ran away from home before he was set to graduate high school.

Krow's Secret, and his birth family

Before I can really get into what "Krow's secret" is, I need to mention is bio/birth family. As I've mentioned, Krow is Indian and Bengali. His parents are immigrants to America, and Krow was born in America. So his nationality is American, but race/ethnicity is Indian/Bengali. Krow's birth name is Sarveshvara Banerjee. Sarveshvara is a name derived from the god Shiva, and specifically means "determination, energy and confidence". His last name, Banerjee, are from a family of which their caste are descended from priests (so Krow actually comes from a pretty darn important caste back in India and Bengal). His father is named Riyan and his mother is named Khushi. They were essentially a victim to racism and classism in America. Krow was taken from them at a very young age and placed into foster care and that is how he was scooped up by the Johnson's.

Now, what is this big secret? As some of you may have guessed, Krow... isn't entirely human. He is descended from Naga (specifically on his father's side), and specifically... his Naga clan were cursed by the goddess Manasa. A long, long time ago, Krow's Naga ancestors were giving terror to the mortal human populace. Doing what they pleased in torturing and abusing humans within their territory. This angered Manasa. Naga were not supposed to be giving humans such grief.

In retribution, Manasa cursed this Naga clan. Cursed them with each suffering their own personal hell and anguish, just as they had caused the humans. For millennia, these Naga and their descendants have each suffered from a curse of their own personal torment, the only salve being that each generation got a more diluted form of the curse... that is until Krow came along.

For whatever reason, genetics just... played out differently and he got a bit more of the Naga bloodline and their traits, and also got a bit more of the curse. What is Krow's own "personal torment"? Well... family is the most important aspect to him. Essentially, he is doomed to never... really a happy family, or a happy life with family.

There hasn't been a way to break the curse, but there have been ways of mitigating it and managing it. If Krow was not taken from his bio parents, he would have grown up learning of his heritage and how to manage. But because he wasn't...

The curse essentially manifests primarily as extreme jealousy, clinging onto those he loves, or pushing away others (sometimes violently). This also explains some of his other traits (getting cold easily, a bit more strength, his teeth). Speaking of his teeth, Krow IS venomous. It's... a bit more diluted than it would be if he were a full Naga, but it's there all the same. His venom has a bit of an aphrodisiac effect on those affected by it. The more one is bitten, the more this takes effect. In essence, if Dove is one who likes being bitten by Krow, they will grow more and more comfortable in his presence unwittingly, writing off red flags and excusing some of his more problematic behaviors. ...Unfortunately though, it is still a venom. Get too much in your system, and it WILL kill you.

All of this to say, once Krow finds out all of this, that he's descended from a cursed Naga blood line and all these physical quirks, it would freak him out so badly that he would, yes, leave Dove in a desperate hope to protect them.

But yeah, that's the big secret I've been keeping hidden for the past couple years. I do have a hope to draw a "what if Krow was a full Naga" drawing at... some point.

I have been in discussion with some friends who are Indian and Bengali about all this. I tried to be as respectful about the culture as I could.

[ernmark]

There's a piece of writing advice I heard ages ago-- if two characters need to kiss or say the words "I love you" for the audience to know that they're in love, then you've written it wrong.

(My own addendum: if the reality of them being in love feels like it comes out of the blue, it had better be a deliberate choice on the writer's part for those feelings to be completely hidden from the audience and characters. The above writing advice is aimed specifically at those awful obligatory comp-het romance subplots shoehorned into so many mainstream stories.)

What's funny is that right now I'm in the middle of writing something and I'm continually undecided about whether to write it as romantic or queerplatonic, and a good deal of it comes down to this.

There are no tearful love confessions, no passionate kisses in the rain. But there's the constant fondness and prioritizing the other person and thinking about them and being there for them. They are each other's Most Important Person. They love each other, your honor. The only actual question is whether or not they're making out or fucking nasty or whatever right off screen, and even that could be a coin toss, honestly.

(I should add here that I'm gray-ace. Am I on the aro spectrum? Fuck if I know.)

But it also makes me think of the way fans-- and particularly queer fans-- spot romances between characters that are ostensibly written to be Just Friends. Because we look at the Designated Romance and so often see two people who don't have anything in common and don't even like each other, and then we look at the characters' best friend and/or antagonist, and it's Love. It's obviously Love. The only thing missing from it being Love is that they aren't actively making out on-screen or tearfully confessing their feelings to each other.

[tanoraqui]

I love your world building! Your name ideas are awesome. Love the idea of Indis being a true prophetic mother name

-@outofangband

Belated thank you! Also, sharing my thought process on that one because it's a very classic Silmarillion headcanon origin: it bothers me that Indis's name means "bride." I hate how it reduces her to a feminine trope - at "best", only here to have a troubled marriage; if you're a staunch Fëanorian, a femme fatale homewrecker. I immensely dislike how this is, in fact, an fairly accurate description of her role in the story...

Which is deliberate on Tolkien's part! The "canonically correct" way to ameliorate this misogyny (though neither erase nor excuse it) is to remember that this whole text is a mixture of history, legend and myth passed through multiple storytellers over thousands of years, translated and re-translated and interpreted through the eyes of elves and men and hobbits and men again, until even if this person ever actually existed in the history of Middle Earth - IF! - "Indis" probably wasn't even her epessë, much less her commonly used name. Probably her name got ink blotted on it at some point, or mixed up with someone else's name, and the next Númenorean scholar to rewrite the text followed the Archetypal School of historical interpretation and decided to name her "Indis" because of her role in the story...

But this, too, bothers me. Because I love the framing device of these various books, I love the historian-given dubious canonicity of literally every detail of The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and especially of The Silmarillion. But! We need some solid canon upon which to hang all our headcanons, so it's imperative to retain a delicate mental balance of knowing everything could be made up (more than it already is by being fiction!) while also adhering to as much as possible as something that Really Did Happen - and names are pretty solidly in the latter category. I mean, everyone has multiple and for those who don't, we tend to make more up, but a belief in the basic premise of the text is necessary in order to function in any fandom, and "names of characters" is pretty "basic premise."

So it's impossible to ignore that her name is Indis; and it's impossible to ignore that the name "Indis" is closely connected to her place in the narrative, more than most characters, and that said place is uncomfortably non-feminist - you can round out her character all you like, but you have to admit that her role in the story is to be the Second Wife and Mother whose acts of being a wife and mother cause trouble! That's a fact! And it's not great! And the name "Indis" isn't helping because if she was named anything but her literal narrative role, that would be characterization! She could be noble like Artanis, she could be of the sea like Eärwen, but she's not! She's just "bride"!

...so, I redeem this by making this definition of her life deliberate within the text - and not just by a future Númenorean scholar, but by Indis's mother. (Female! O! Cs!) Furthermore, names of prophecy are implicitly grand (even if they're not necessarily either good or bad). It makes being a bride itself feel more active - and why not! Do Indis's acts of love and marriage not change the fate of the world just as much as Lúthien's? Consider that Indis's act of marriage is so important that it echoes back through the Great Music to be known by her mother as she held the future bride as a babe in arms. Consider a mother holding her child under stars beside a lake and going, "damn, this kid is gonna have ripple effects. I should add a bragging warning label."

Also, if you accept the headcanons that

a) most Elvish languages treat "sex" (physical) and "marriage" (soul-bonding) as basically synonymous; and

b) Indis spends thousands of years in the Second/Third ages patiently and stubbornly figuring out how to Make It Work between herself, Finwë and Miriel, such that all three of them can marry with genuine all-around mutual love unto the end of days, for peace among the still-troubled Noldor but mostly for happiness for herself and those she loves most (also an act of bride-ship worthy of prophecy, note) -

then you can with a straight face imagine Indis saying, "I fucked my way into this mess and I'm going to fuck my way out of it."

Feminist critique + consideration of canonical historicity + elaborate headcanon web = sex joke! Now that's good fandom!

[dairy-farmer]

Back at it again with my love of under represented dynamics! A/B/O remember? It's NOT A/O! Where's my Beta love?! Just because you get the most common presentation, you don't deserve to be sexed up??

Lies! Slander and defamation! We shall not tolerate this Anti-Tim Sexing in THIS Good Tim Sexing household!

And imagine it: Tim's parents. Strong independent Betas who would prefer all these Scentheads stop trying to trap them in their packs just to get at the Drake family fortune. Forever out of the country, both to AVOID the fuckers and to pursue their own interests.

A tiny pack of just Betas.

Tim doesn't need an Alpha to protect him. What is this, the middle ages? And he's not incompetent. He doesn't need an Omega to control and manage the household. Yes, he GETS that's a wildly over simplified version of the social dynamics. Still doesn't need them.

Unlike Alphas and Omegas, Betas don't actually HAVE that extra strong compulsion to group up. They just kinda prefer too.

But? Tim's classmates are GROSS. They stink and are dramatic, swan around like they're hot shit (Alphas) or try to manipulate people into liking them and protecting them (Omegas). And it's? So SOAP OPERA.

Unlike Batman.

Batman doesn't stink. He ACTUALLY protects people. ACTUALLY takes care of people. Both in and out of the mask. THAT is how you're supposed to act!

And Dick Grayson? Best Omega you'll EVER meet! Strong and caring, remembers your name even if you're not important. Was ROBIN. Protects his city and started the Titans! So cool!

But Tim likes Jason the most. Even if he CAN be a growly little Alpha scenthead at times. Cause he CARES. About everyone. Doesn't get wrapped up in presentations and what he's "supposed" to care about or do.

But then Batman's in his rutt. Tim knows, cause Batwoman's taken over, but instead of staying in a guarding the Manor... Jason's sneaking out? Tim knows there's been tension. But how has it gotten THIS BAD?!

He may not be pack... but he cares. A LOT. So he decides to stop him!

And Jason? His quest to find his Mom is completely derailed when he gets body slammed by history's gangliest Pup. Dear FUCK, does no one FEED this kid!? Why is he in Jason's yard?! Ow! Stop scratching!

He THINKS the kid might be trying to growl, but it frankly sounds ridiculous. All crackly and hesitant. It takes him forever to recognize the squirming little monster as his neighbors kid. Okay. He adjusts. Drop the kid off, THEN find his mom.

Except no, the kid is refusing to unlatch. Fucking BIT his shirt with all his little puppy strength and won't let go. Are you KIDDING him?

And the longer it takes to struggle free? The more his nose catches up with him.

The house... smells weird. He can't quite place it. It's like something SHOULD be there, but isn't.

He stills when it finally sinks in. Barely any scent but the Pups. And no Alpha or Omega scent AT ALL. The fuck? He stops fighting the kid. Drags him closer. Tim squeaks but let's himself be manhandled. And...

Nothing.

Kid smells like a pup that's DEFINITELY gonna be a Beta, from the way it mixes so strongly as an undertone, but? No adult scents are anything close to recent. They're barely even THERE. And Alpha scents? Non-existent. Same with Omegas.

Sure, there's some on his clothes, but that's just "he sat near some". Not scented. The fuck? In a big ol house like this??

It pisses Jason off.

What, is the kid not GOOD enough? USEFUL enough? They didn't get some bartering chip Omega or perfect heir Alpha, so fuck um? Did the kid ALSO get accused of some shit he didn't do? Maybe get blamed for turning out Beta, like he had any fuckin CHOICE in the matter?

Do they think they can just toss the kid aside? Leave him waiting for scraps of affection whenever THEY decide he's finally Good Enough again? Fuck um. They don't NEED adults like that! Jason can be the kid's pack! He's an Alpha! Planning to go look for his mom. They'll have a NEW pack!

And Tim? Veeeery close to Smells Good and Robin Being Persuasive(tm). Common sense has left the building. Okay! Tim is On Board with this likely fatal plan! Please keep hugging him. Rub scent aaaaall over his face.

Thankfully? Bruce has coworkers(friends) who care. And are aliens. Immune to the whole "scent" thing. Clark brought over some water and food for his buddy. Rutts are tough. And oh? Is that a note? Better bring it to Alfr-..!!!!?!?!?

They get caught by a VERY alarmed Superman.

It's quite stressful. Tim presents a month early. Now every body STINKY and his skin feels weird. Presentation sucks no matter WHO you are. It'll be days before his body calms down. Small problem?

Getting dumped back in the same house as Bruce, getting caught, and then learning the joker POISONED PEOPLE then Blew Up His Mom? Kinda caused a stress Rutt. And Jason is extra super clingy ON TOP of everything else.

He's upset. ANGRY. And the ONLY thing that DOESNT make him upset and angry? Timmy. Who is warm and soft and feels good to rub against. Who smells nice. Not, like, Omega nice... but NICE. Soothing. He can wrap his arms around him, bury his face against his neck, and just? Grind against that warm body until it gets too good. And he spills all sticky and slick.

Gets his scent spread even MORE all over him.

But... but where's HIS scent? They gotta smell like each other. And Timber's skin is so sensitive right now. Rubbing too much hurts. He can't get enough to cover himself. And it's not like he has a dick Jason can rub against, like HE rubbed.

Wait.

Jason's never tried it before... but he bets he can make his Tim feel good. But.. those classes and lectures and stuff, said betas aren't exactly? BUILT to handle Alpha bits. Can he even FIT inside Timbers? He doesn't wanna HURT him!

He works a hand down instead. It takes him a bit, to find what he's looking for, but... it's warm. Soft and a little wet. Gets wetter as he rubs. Tim squirming and twitching, his heart rate picking up. Body getting warmer. Scent getting all OVER him. It's even better when he squishs a finger inside.

It's AMAZING in there.

He rubs and rubs, inside and out, until Tim is shaking apart. Bites him n makes him PACK. No take backs.

The adults are furious. Fuck um. It takes Timmy's parents WEEKS to even come back and notice. And Bruce was gonna get rid of him anyway!

Except... except apparently he WASN'T. He just sucks at everything and can't use his words. Dick is apoplectic. Might actually KILL Bruce this time. When he comes back from space and Robin has a baby pack within Bruce's pack because Bruce fucked up so bad, he thought he'd be getting DISOWNED.

And the thing is? They don't notice. Are too busy tearing into each other, threatening lawyers and bodily harm, to notice Jason's little pack and how it operates.

Cause THEY decided they LIKE how they "scent". It feels nice. Beta scent is light. Takes a lot to scent properly. Which is easy if there are a lot of Betas, not so much if it's just Tim. But they "figured it out"! And it feels good.

Jason LOVES exploring Timmy's interesting bits. Tasting and rubbing, working his fingers as deep as he can go, to rub and rub until Tim is tensing up and twitching as he falls apart. It takes a lot of practice, but Tim can take MORE fingers now.

Jason even did some research. There are tools! Well, they're called "toys" but they're tools. Made to help when you can't fit! When your little hole is too small. Jason had to break in after hours to get um, but he DID leave money!

He got all sorts of stuff. It was awesome. Timmy LOVES it. And JASON? He loves watching his Beta's body stretch. Take it for him. Getting looser and looser so it won't hurt. So he'll feel so, SO good for Jason. Get off again and again because he can't help but feel so good.

Jason's gonna take SUCH good care of his pack.

And the adults may not notice the scenting? But Dick DEFINITELY notices Jason's next Rutt. More specifically, how quiet it is. No misery, no complaining, no pressing up against Dick, trying to escape the heat. Just... quietly locked up in his room? Suspicious.

So he goes to check.

And finds him fucking his little Beta. It's a worst case scenario. Oh god. Did he lose control?! He's hurting his-! ...except as his mind catches up to his eyes, no. He's not.

Hips thoughtfully propped up on a pillow, whimpers don't sound pained, and that is clearly a bottle of artificial slick. Jason is pounding into his Beta like it's his sole mission in life. Dragging him back to meet each thrust, HARD. Poor thing is starting to look overwhelmed. Must be the first time he helped someone through a proper heat.

So Dick steps inside, closes the door, and locks it.

Strips. Distracts Jason as he detangles the poor little Beta who's looking positively fucked out. Shhhhh. Come here sweetness.

Letting Jason pant against his skin, as he rutts against his leg, is hardly a hardship. It let's him cuddle the cute little Beta close. Press kisses to his precious, drooling face. He lazily pumps his fingers in and out. Keeping from getting too tight again. He wouldn't want the cute little guy to get hurt.

But... in the end, the curiosity gets the better of him.

After all, he feels so warm around his fingers. Soft and delightful. He's obviously bigger the Jason, he's an older man. He wonders if it'll even fit...

He aligns the little hole over himself, the Beta limp onto of him. And lowers him slowly. Watches with wonder as he gasps and whines.. but TAKES it. His poor little body stretching to the brim. So deep it must border on painful.

Fucking him is AMAZING. Jason crawls up, to hold him. To rutt against his back, face pressed to his shoulder, holding him still. Dick helps, hands holding those little hips, as he pulls back and fucks up into that heat.

Every thrust punchs a little gasp, a whine, a whimper, out of their pretty little Beta. He takes it so WELL. Legs shaking. Inner thighs drenched. But no where to run. For the first time in YEARS, Dick let's himself cum deep inside someone. It's so GOOD. Gushing, frothing, and wet. He let's himself drift.

They barely remember to keep hydrated. Fed. If Dick didn't have access to after-heat care, Tim would undoubtedly be pregnant.

Of course, Tim is training to be the "man in the chair" like Oracle. Is over constantly. And Tim's parents? Still take their ill fated trip. The quiet hostilities screech to a halt. Bruce does all he can. But... well. He never wanted to "win" like this. He takes Tim in.

And in short order... notices how unusually CLOSE his sons are to the young Beta.

The Beta who smells like Pack but not HIS pack. Hmmm. Fixable. He starts scenting the boy. But can't shake the feeling he's missing something. But... life distracts. Cases pop up. At least his sons are getting along, right?

But then? He needs Jason for a case. The day is not a special one, just inevitable. He goes looking. Finds Jason with a tied up Tim. Bullet vibe tormenting his poor little clit. Working a knotting dildo into the boys poor, sensitive, body. It's just slightly smaller then he is.

Jason doesn't notice him. Is too focused. Tim's whimpering, straining, but Jason's relentless in working it in. Telling him he's gonna be good for him. Take his knot. Keep it in him till he's all stretched out. How he bets after this, Tim can take BIGGER. The knot is slowly sliding in until... pop! In it goes. Tim gushes and comes apart.

Not Natural behavior. You have to train yourself to cum like that, just from getting knotted. ESPECIALLY a Beta. It's a distant thought as Bruce quietly backs away. Before he can be noticed.

But now? The thoughts won't LEAVE. He notices know. The days when Tim's gait is stiff. What he now knows that MEANS. What's inside him. Can't help but wonder about the other days. Is he empty then? Left craving? Or does he have something else to...

No. Do not. It's inappropriate.

But he can't stop. And the gods must hate him, because his rutt hits full force when it's just the two of them in the Manor. He barely remembers getting naked. Hunting him down.

He's full today.

He kisses like he's devouring the little Beta. Licks and sucks, all but rips the clothes from him. The boy's startled but not opposed. Is embarrassed to be caught full. It stretches him so gloriously. Bruce makes him SQUEEL with his mouth. Fucks him with his hidden companion until he's wet and ready. Then it's out and he's plunging in deep.

He shudders.

So good. A wet little vice, dispite all the stretching. Fucking him up and down his cock like a toy, he enjoys the feel of it. Before lifting them both. Heading for his room. Bouncing the boy on his cock the entire way.

He loses count of how many times he knots him. He takes it so WELL. Even when he's overflowing. Whining and exhausted. He goes to sleep buried deep. Wakes up already rocking. Soon fucking desperately again and again.

The house stinks of them. Jason is not amused. Dick is HIGHLY amused. Tim is unconscious from exhaustion again and won't be walking for at least a week. The Pack is united.

......you know... until Talia decides its finally time to inform Bruce HE HAD A SON.

-🐼

!!!!!!!!!! tim being the perfect little packmember!!! doing such a good job of taking them, better than any omega they ever had and without all those headache-inducing pheromones because some omegas overdid it !!! tim being a nice little beta who trains to take their cocks so well!!