#☆ what's a penguin? what's an iceberg? (self)

[chiropterx]

[Leave object on muse's desk meme.]

A bulging plastic bag was left at Kirk's office's door. Inside wasn't anything gruesome like a severed head. In fact once opened a delicious smell of the Iceberg Lounge's food billowed outward. There was an appetizer, entrée, and dessert inside their wrapped containers that were neatly stacked on top of one another. Beside the personalized take-out bag was a bottle of good wine wrapped in a paper bag. All of this, and tucked away was a small note.

"No charge. Let's talk some time. I hear you're onto great things.

Yours Truly, Oswald C. Cobblepot".

Leave an object in my ask and my muse will react to it being given to them.

This wasn't what he'd ordered. In fact, the usual deliveryman hadn't come by at all that day, security camera having alerted him to an unknown visitor passing by only to drop off this bag at his office door. Kirk notices the logo proudly emblazoned across the stark white plastic wrapping and pales visibly. The Iceberg Lounge, only the fanciest nightclub in all of Gotham. He'd never been to the Iceberg Lounge before. Couldn't afford it, especially not now he was living on his own (not that he had reason to go out partying anyway.) The logo on the bag seems to glare at him and it's all Kirk can do not to close the door and hope the bag was no longer there when he next opened it. It finally occurs to him to at least check if there's a letter attached just in case it was actually meant for one of his neighbours. No doubt they wouldn't be best pleased to find that dinner had been delivered to the wrong address and he hadn't even bothered to let them know about the mix-up so Kirk rummages through the contents, his stomach trying not to grumble at the exquisite smells emanating from within. Hell, there was even a bottle of wine included, no doubt just as expensive as the food included but finally he located a small note and is shocked to find it's addressed to him. What could Mr. Cobblepot possibly want with somebody like him? No charge? And onto great things? Kirk Langstrom was no partygoer. He barely registered on anybody's radar, his line of work too small, too niche to be of interest to anybody who wasn't deaf or similarly impaired and yet Oswald Cobblepot, owner of the Iceberg Lounge and upper-class businessman had heard of him, even taking the time to deliver a meal on the house. Part of Kirk was worried. Oswald Cobblepot, while a legitimate businessman, was also rumored to have had shady connections within the city... but then who didn't in Gotham? It was filthy and crime-ridden, had been since before he was born and would likely remain that way long after he was gone. Kirk was content to hide away from it all within the comforts of his little home, with just his vampire bats for company as he doggedly worked to find a cure for his and many other's chronic deafness. His stomach grumbled again as his nose again picked up the scents from within the boxes inside the carrier bag. Appetizers, dinner and dessert with a bottle of wine sure sounded a hell of a lot better than the scant inventory of his pantry (when had he last gone shopping anyway?) and so Kirk reached out hesitantly, picking up the bag by it's handles and crrying it inside. He would have cried at how good everything tasted had it not felt like ashes in his stomach as he wondered when Mr. Cobblepot might come calling, to discuss who knew what.

[incorrectbatfam]

batfam members being the smartest and dumbest person in the room at the same time

Damian: Here's the plan: we wait for your mother to put the pie on the windowsill to cool. Then, I'll spoof a call to her work phone in order to draw her away. That's when you come in and take it. Are we clear?

Jon: *walks up to Lois*

Jon: Mom, can Damian and I have a piece of pie?

Lois: Of course, here you go.

———————

Cullen: I tripped over my shoelaces again.

Harper: I can make self-tying shoelaces that can only come apart when you use a password-protected app.

Cullen: ...I was just thinking of wearing velcro.

———————

Duke: Check out my project! Not to brag, but I think I know who's winning the science fair.

Izzy: What is it?

Duke: It's a chamber that excites nanoparticles to generate short-term high-intensity thermal energy that can alter organic matter to make them suitable for human consumption. What do you think?

Izzy: Funny, I have one at home. Only I call it a microwave.

———————

Dinah and Babs: *talking*

Dinah: One sec, I'm getting a call.

Dinah: *answers her phone*

Dinah, immediately hanging up: Never mind.

Barbara: Was your number leaked? I have a list of possible suspects and plans for dealing with each one.

Dinah: Relax, it was just spam.

———————

Bernard, with a mic: Welcome back to MasterChef: Young Justice. We're down to our finalists, Red Robin and Spoiler. Let's see what they brought us today.

Tim: I made a nutrient-dense mass-conserving meal replacement with all essential components compressed in a gelatinous cube for a quick, on-the-go meal during our off-world missions. I'm serving it with a protein shake served in a vacuum-sealed pouch made completely out of recycled materials.

Steph: I made authentic Belgian waffles using techniques dating back to the 1958 Brussels World Fair. I'm serving it with a warm Swiss chocolate ganache, Japanese white strawberries, and homemade ube powdered sugar. For a drink, we have a cappuccino made with fair-trade Colombian dark roast beans and milk sourced from local farmers.

Kon, Bart, and Cassie: *taste and discuss*

Kon: You're both eliminated.

Tim and Steph: What?!

Cassie: Red Robin, the point of this competition is to showcase taste and culinary artistry, not just your engineering skills.

Bart: And Spoiler, you were supposed to make soup.

———————

Cass: *sneaks out her room*

Cass: *rolls down the hall*

Cass: *jumps over the couch*

Cass: *crawls through the vents*

Cass: *climbs down the rafters*

Cass: *slides down a gas pipe into the Batcave*

Cass: *lands in front of the door*

———————

Dick: I'll infiltrate the Iceberg Lounge with my state-of-the-art wearable camouflage that uses reverse psychology to throw all suspicions off of me by catching people's attention in a completely different way.

Jason: Pfft, lame. You should check out my latest tech. It's a potassium nitrate–based mixture that can be activated with a built-in timer to both create a diversion and incapacitate more of the Penguin's cronies at once.

Dick: That's stupid. We need to be subtle.

Jason: No, what we need is efficiency.

Dick: Roy, what do you think?

Roy, looking up from his phone: I think one of you wants to dress in drag and the other made a bomb.

———————

Bruce: I need the kids to steer clear of Crime Alley tonight so I can deal with a situation but I don't want to bench them because then they'll be mad at me. Any ideas?

Alfred: Give them paperwork.

Selina: Send them on a wild goose chase.

Kate: Get them to bench themselves.

Renee: Wow.

Renee: You all suck.

[gilverrwrites]

The Best You Ever Had

Jason Todd/Reader, 1.7K

A/N: Welp, as promised here’s that self-serving, mildly fucked up Jason Todd/Reader scenario I mentioned earlier. I’m working on I don’t fall, I fly chapter two I swear, but I had to get this unhinged Jason idea out of my head if I’m gonna concentrate. I don’t remember the exact details of the plotline I’m branching off of here 100% so if it’s inaccurate sue me. Warnings: Darker portrayal of Jason. Unhealthy relationship to slightly less unhealthy relationship, non-graphic mentions of death, grief, dub-con, manipulation, abuse of authority kinda, exhibitionism, unprotected sex, swearing, size difference, hair pulling.

Right so, remember when Jason went balls to the wall on absoloutely fucking ruining Penguins’ life after finding out he was responsible for the death of his birth father?

Okay, now imagine you’re working at The Iceberg at the time, as a waitress, a card dealer, dancer, whatever you fancy, it’s mainly just a cover for the fact that you’re actually Ozwald’s sugar baby.

You’re practically attached to his hip. Sure, he can be a bit much at times, a bit mean, but he’s real sweet on you. There isn’t a thing in this world he wouldn’t do for you, no clothes or gadgets too expensive, no jewels too well-guarded, 'cause you’re his favourite gal. At least you were until you watched Red Hood shoot him in the head on live TV.

Ozzie had paid your rent, your bills, everything, he’d showered you with gifts, but he’d never dealt you actual cash. Without his bank account to fund your checks, you have nothing, not unless you sell off your material possessions. So, not only are you grieving, but you’re forced to pick up as many extra shifts as you can in order to afford to keep up your lifestyle.

Being at The Lounge only reminds you of him, which makes your sorrows worse. You were never bad at the cover job, in fact, it’s how you got your foot in the door. But your emotions are affecting your performance, and when your new boss, Jason Todd, calls you into his office for a performance review, you’re pretty much resigned to the fact that you’re about to be fired.

However, Mr Todd is surprisingly chill. Understanding even. He doesn’t grill you; he just points out that your performance as of late does not match up with Cobblepots files and asks why? What can we do to fix it?

You feel comfortable explaining that you and his predecessor were close, and so his sudden death has hit you hard. You need time to mourn but can’t afford the time off.

When a tear rolls down your cheek you start to feel self conscious until he rounds the desk, crouching in front of you and presenting you with a tissue. He offers you the weekend off, paid, and promises to look into amending the shoddy bereavement policy Oz had enforced. But for now, commiserating may help, and he’s happy to listen, to be a shoulder to cry on.

So, you take the tissue, dabbing up all the tears that fall as you tell him about your arrangement. How Oz had done so much for you, got you out of a pit, how no matter what your friends and family thought, Ozzie really did have your best interests at heart, you swear. Mr Todd nods along, offering a polite laugh when you tell him a funny story, or pulling faces when you recall some of Oz’s less-than-savoury moments. His disapproval makes you feel validated in your distaste for some of the seedier things you’d let Oz get away with because he loved you.

After a while, you move from the desk to the conversation pit which sits beside a floor to ceiling fish tank. You can’t help commending him for keeping on top of looking after the fish and their habitat, it’s a lot of work. He tells you it’s one of his favourite things in the whole building and you agree, recalling how you used to spend hours watching the fish go about their existence when Ozzie would call for you only to spend the evening ignoring you whilst he dealt with 'business'. Jason says that you’re more than welcome to come see the fishes any time you like.

He's so much kinder than you’d expected. Which is why you don’t move when you feel his hand on your back, drawing you closer with strong arms until the warmth of his breath brushes your neck. It’s been weeks since you’d gotten this close with anyone. You hadn’t realised how much you’d craved the intimacy until it was handed to you.

And shit, he smells good too. Looking into his undeniably handsome face you’re struck with guilt for having enjoyed the company, the touch of another man and can’t help the second? third? who knows, wave of tears.

The tissue he’s given you is too sodden to do anything, so he reaches up with his long, surprisingly coarse fingers to wipe up your tears, and you let him.

Your weeping soon starts to ebb after that, but the few droplets that fall regardless are dried by his lips as he boldly presses kisses to your cheeks, and again, you let him.

“You shouldn’t waste your tears on that asshole.” The way he stares into your eyes as he speaks, it almost feels like he’s daring you to challenge him. “You’ll be better off without him.”

Out of respect for Oz, or maybe to defend yourself you bite back at him. “He’s not- he wasn’t an asshole! Not to me.” But you both know it’s a lie.

Before either of you say something you’ll regret, you decide to do something you’ll regret instead. In sync, you both crash your lips together, and Jason all but forces you onto your back with his body weight, his tongue pushing between your lips as his hands work at your uniform.

He’s nothing like Oz. His hands are strong and deft, free of perspiration as they pop your buttons with precision and knead at your newly exposed skin. His mouth, while steeped with a hint of beer, tastes clean. He looks at you with a reverence you’d never experienced before as he draws back to look you in the eye.

“Let me treat you the way you deserve, the way a real man should.” He begs, and when you nod, he practically starts tearing at his clothes. You work on his belt while he pulls his shirt and waistcoat over his head, too impatient to bother with his own buttons.

Your eyes bulge, heart plummeting to your stomach when he pulls down his boxers, exposing a dauntingly large erection.

“Bet you’ve not seen something this big in a long time.” He suggests with a smirk.

“No, I’ve never seen anything that big.” You offer, shuddering when he teases the tips between your slit, grazing your clit. “I don’t think I can take something like that.”

“You will.” His confidence goes straight to your already hungry centre. “Don’t worry. I’ll make it easy on you.”

You gasp when you feel friction at your entrance, and Jason chuckles into the crook of your neck, gently fussing in your ear as he slips a single finger inside you. True to his word, Jason makes the whole thing (mostly) painless and effortless, working his fingers into you one at a time, scissoring his digits and massaging your sensitive clit until you're stretched out and cumming all over his palm, staining the sofa beneath you. Purring to you all the while about how tight and plush your pussy is, how fucking good his cock is gonna make you feel, how he can’t wait to make you forget all about Cobblepot by making you gush all over his dick again and again.

When you’re partly lucid again, coming down from your first orgasm Jason lifts you with ease. He sits back against the couch, settling between your legs so that you’re straddling him. Guiding you onto his cock, thrusting from below, drawing a sinful cry from you as he fills you in one quick movement. It wasn’t unbearable, in fact, you’re a little flustered by the ease with which your pussy sucked him up, but your walls still throb from the final stretch of him buried in the depth at which his impossibly long fingers hadn’t been able to reach.   

His hands grip and caress and pinch every part of you, soaking in every inch as you ride him out, grinding your hips against his, using his body to chase your second release. His lips latch along your torso, sucking and biting his mark into your skin. This time, once you've successfully fucked yourself to climax on his dick, he doesn’t wait for you to come back down. Flipping you over and pushing you forward, he puts you on your hands and knees, presented for him on the coffee table so he can pound into you from behind.

Once he’s coaxed another orgasm out of you there, he carries you to his desk. He fucks you over and over. Revelling in every heated orgasm he rips from you, eating up your sob. He takes you on every surface. The floor, the walls, the window. He even presses you face first against the fishtank, making you watch your reflection in its mirrored back, and you are a pornographic sight to behold; lips dark and swollen from his kisses, hair tangled in his fist, tits pressed against the glass as he pistons in and out of your twitchingly overstimulated, cunt. Every thrust is slick, punctuated by the wet slap of your hips coming together. By this point, Jason’s unending strength is the only thing keeping you upright.

“That bird creep ever fuck you this good, baby?” He grunts into your ear, dark eyes glaring at you through the glass. From this angle you can see how his body practically engulfs yours; the reflection showcasing how his massive palms seem herculean when pinning you. All night he’d been throwing you around, bending and posing you to his will like a doll in his sturdy arms. Something Oz could never do.  

“No, god no Jason!” You whine. Drool spills from your lips as you try to speak. It catches on the glass, smearing back on your face but you’re too utterly fucked, too cock drunk to be embarrassed. “Nobody… never been… fucked like…”

When you don’t finish your sentence Jason laughs, it almost sounds cruel and sends a shockwave to the clit you long thought had been abused to numbness. “Am I the best fuck you ever had?”

“Yes! Yesyesyesyes.” You chant. Completely oblivious to the fact that your sugar daddy, Oswald Cobblepot is not dead. He’s very much alive, and very much not well as he watches Jason Todd fuck the brains out of his best gal from his prison on the other side of the one-way mirror. 

[hollowsart]

Penguin 🐧💕

-slaps my own headcanons on him and puts him into my own little spidersona crossover universe-

Oswald Cobblepot, 4'9" king 💖

No one is a bigger bird fanatic than The Penguin. After all, he is named after one! Well, at least no one within Gotham is.

[X] [X]

^^ info and more under the cut:

He has a bit of an ego and self pride. He definitely values his appearance and takes offense to people speaking negatively about him. He knows his worth and value and he will see to it that you see it, too, and that you respect him.

The proud owner of the Iceberg Lounge, a fancy club and bar that a lot of local gang leaders, mob bosses, and the top dogs of Gotham's underbelly like to visit on the regular, as well as the wealthy elite of Gotham overall.

The umbrellas he uses are all made by him. Every last one he uses has a different custom set of tricks and weapons implemented into their unique framework. from the outside they look entirely unassuming.. but they hide a variety of weapons and tools. Gas, bullets, knives, chains, motors, a method of taking flight, etc. You never know what to expect from one of his umbrellas.

He might not look capable, but he is extremely skilled in hand to hand combat among other things. Can hold his own against Batman and other villains within the city.

He doesn't really see the appeal or what the big deal is with Bruce Wayne. Especially when he, himself, is right here for the taking if anyone was interested.. Give him a chance? He'll treat you soooo good and right~

[keen-eye]

got really bored and made the N6 into Club Penguins. couldn’t decide whether they should look like their CC designs, or CT designs, or how they’d design their own penguins, so I did a mix of the 3 / what felt right lol

the N6 as players:

Brooklynn: obsessed with playing the PSA missions. the others always ask her to play with them and she promises to after just one more mission (a lie). investigated the Operation Blackout rumors. she’s constantly searching for secret messages on the island. she uses her coins to buy the most fashionable outfits and loves being the first to find new hidden items in the catalogs. hangs out in the Coffee Shop with everyone

Kenji: wants to have the highest rated igloo, but he’s not very good at the minigames so Yaz plays on his account to get him coins. he scouts other players’ igloos to steal borrow ideas. loves the monthly parties/themes and throwing his own parties. collects Special Actions’ Items (pretends to work everywhere). looks online to know where/when to find rare items (also uses codes). throws snowballs at other players 

Yaz: prides herself on being the best at the minigames. when she wants to play Sled Racing she yells at other players on the Ski Hill to play against her. Darius beat her at Card-Jitsu too many times and now she refuses to play (her excuse is that it doesn't take skill anyway). enjoys the Night of the Living Sled short films and dressing up for the Halloween parties. one time she submitted artwork to be displayed in the game

Darius: as good at the minigames as Yaz but he doesn’t take it nearly as seriously. his favorite game is Card-Jitsu and he’s always trying to get the others to play with him. he earned all the belts in one sitting (then did it on Kenji’s account). plays in the Arcade and reads books in the Book Room. loves anything Rockhopper related. always exploring less popular areas of the island and finding/unlocking secret rooms

Ben: very invested in the in-game conspiracy theories and lore. logs on and immediately tries to tip the Iceberg (hard hat on, pengussy out). tries to convince others of the most random theories. eavesdrops on players misbehaving and follows them around because he’s nosy. has been banned many times for refusing to leave other penguins’ igloos when they tell him to. reports “pookies” because he thinks they’re pedos

Sammy: spends most of her time in the main hangout spots chatting with everyone. she’s been temporarily banned twice for revealing and asking for too much personal information (you can’t ask for someone’s address to send them a care package, Sammy). she’s the best at Puffle Roundup and uses her coins to adopt puffles (she has to get one of every color/type). she takes naming and caring for them very seriously

comments on their designs ->

Brooklynn was the hardest in getting the right outfit/jewelry combo, but I lucked out with her hair. an alternate version of her had glasses but I wanted her to have eyelashes (does she look like a Simpsons character, maybe)

Kenji was originally going to be blue but red just went better with his outfit + vibe. an alternate version of him had sunglasses but I wanted his eyes to be visible

Yaz could have been black, her favorite color like I did with Brooklynn, but she looked better purple. she had good options for hair but not for her outfit

Darius was the easiest (minimalist king), but unfortunately Club P is lacking in textured hair options so this was the best I could do. he could have been green but brown suited him best

Ben is the best imo. the hair and outfit were perfect, but had to settle for a satchel. he could have been peach but he looks better orange

Sammy looks the most like her younger self but no other hair option matched her as well as this one. she could have been yellow but I swapped her and Brooklynn’s colors. she's the only one with expressive eyes

Everyone’s shoe choices were very easy

[aaabsinthe]

Hi! I was wondering if it was okay to request sfw and nsfw headcanons for Hanzo with a female s/o? Maybe she likes to draw too? (sometimes him as well) Thank you in advance! Have a nice day 🍵

Hanzo x Female Reader Relationship Headcanons

Hey anon, of course! To be completely honest, I think Hanzo is one of the only characters I haven’t really had a chance to get a feel for writing for - as such please forgive me if the quality isn’t fantastic - I’m sure I’ll be writing a lot more for him in the future. PS, I'd definitely like to do one for a reader who draws as a separate post - keep your eye out for that one ;)

SFW Headcanons

I feel like Hanzo is the kind of guy who needs to know someone really well before he even considers dating an option.

I’m talking friends for at least six months to a year before he even lets his guard down around you - the entire time before that, you only really see the tip of the iceberg of his personality and sense of humour, which really are what you fall in love with.

Hanzo is a long term commitment that requires a lot of patience and dedication. There was an embarrassing amount of unnoticed pining on your part for a while before the two of you finally got together.

The first few months were definitely rocky, Hanzo grew up in an unloving household and as a result, he never really had an example of what a healthy relationship should look like. All he really had was teachings from a young age that he would marry someone of his father’s choosing and that was that. There was no explanation of courting or most importantly, of love.

It’s all a learning experience for him and he’s eager to learn to ensure he is able to give you the best and only the best.

Honestly the plus side of this though is how loyal and gentle he is behind closed doors.

If he’s with you, he’s with you - mind, body and spirit.

Hanzo first tries to show his love the only way he knows with spontaneous gift giving. In the beginning his gifts seemed almost random - if you even offhandedly mention wanting or needing something, he's on to it.

Protective at times to a fault.

You come to learn with time that Hanzo's actions are never without an underlying reaction as he begins to open up to you about his past.

With enough compassion and patience, Hanzo eventually begins to drop these behaviours or at the very least checks himself when they happen and continues to work on them.

He definitely still needs you to update him on what you're up to if you're out and about for any reason without him - purely out of concern for you being safe without him present.

Eventually discovers his love language to be acts of service.

Absolutely frets over you when you are sick or injured.

I honestly headcanon Hanzo to be an amazing cook who likes his kitchen prepped and cleaned in a very particular way.

Can and will make you just about anything you ask for.

Loves self care for the both of you, especially together.

Hot baths and showers are his absolute favourite - so you can comb each other's hair - especially loves it if you trace his tattoo with your fingers when it's your turn.

Gives the best massages.

Hanzo is really uncomfortable with PDA and will pretty much never initiate.

If you need comfort or physical touch from him in public, the most he will be comfortable with is linking arms or hand holding. If you need any more from him than that, he will find somewhere private for the two of you.

In private is a different story though, he is incredibly touch starved.

Some part of him will always be touching you - most of the time intertwining legs or arms but on particularly hard days, he just needs to hold you even if that means waddling around with his arms linked around your waist.

Hanzo the clingy penguin.

18+ NSFW WARNING

NSFW Headcanons (18+)

Hanzo is the kind of guy who makes love, it's not 'sex' to him, it's something deeper and more spiritual.

Unfortunately for you, this means waiting a while for the first time between the two of you.

It was worth every second of waiting.

There's no denying that Hanzo is a dom pretty much 90% of the time.

But...

There is a part of him that you can eventually ease out of hiding with enough trust and comfort where he actually discovers he loves being submissive every now and then.

He draws the line at pegging - it's just not happening.

However, his focus is always on you and your pleasure. If you need to be on top or in charge for that, he is more than happy to oblige.

This man worships the ground you walk on so obviously, praise and worship kinks big time.

Other than that, fairly vanilla unless you are particularly kinky.

Really the only kink he refuses to engage with is pain play. Seeing you in pain is the absolute opposite of what turns him on, not to mention it's just triggering for him in general inflicting pain on the people he cares about the most.

Communication is absolutely key with Hanzo.

Will not initiate anything without explicit consent, even rock hard and struggling to contain himself - explicit consent always.

Absolute god of foreplay and aftercare.

Your pleasure is so important to him, he needs you to communicate what you need and want.

He's blunt as a hammer with you, you're going to need to do the same no matter how awkward it is.

This man is weak for eye contact. Stare in to his eyes while you suck his dick and he physically twitches.

Throw literally everything to the wind however when he's feeling jealous and pissed off about it.

You can always tell you're in for it just by the fiery, blown out look in his eyes.

Of course he still asks for explicit consent, with significantly less patience.

Will take you on any available surface.

Has broken very expensive china and vases purely because they dared to be in the way.

Expect to be bruised after he marks from the nape of your neck to your core.

If not from his tongue and lips, then from the absolutely bruising grip he inflicts on your hips whilst hoisting you up against a wall, bending you the kitchen counter.

Praises you for how well you take his cock whilst chanting "mine" like a mantra.

After he's had a chance to physically work through his jealousy, he won't let you out of his sight or arms for the rest of the night.

Lays the most gentle feather light kisses on each and every bruise.

Will carry you to the bathroom to make sure you pee before you pass out if necessary.

Provides breakfast in bed the morning after, all the way you like it.

[karmavongrim]

Poor Guide to Parenthood fanfic idea

DP x DC crossover fanfic idea which I decided to call "Poor Guide to Parenthood".

Danny and Jazz are distantly related to Oswald Cobblepot, otherwise known as Penguin. In their most desperate hour they go to him seeking sanctuary. Well, who’s he to say no to free PR, even if he didn’t read the memo of accepting the role of a caring father.

Was reading The Family Business and this Tumblr post and was inspired. You can find this on my Deviantart as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jazz really deserved this vacation in Danny’s humble opinion. She’s done so much for him and this was the least he and uncle Os could do; an all-payed luxury spa weekend with the girls which included Harley, Ivy and Selina.

What could go wrong? Apparently a lot, nothing related to the girls but to the boys. Who knew that sending away the only person keeping a hyperactive teen with zero self-control on a leash and leaving said boy to the sole care of their mildly diabolical and eccentric adoptive father was a bad idea.

A good chunk of their mansion was missing with some of it’s iced over remnants embedded to the ground around the plot. Danny looked like he’d gotten to a fight with a fridge and Oswald wasn’t looking any better either. A distance away some of the goons could be seen dragging their half frozen brethren away from the site, he’ll have to apologize to them later. It was a miracle that none of the police or even the bats were there to question them about this mess. Really, all their were trying to do was to create a new ice machine for the Iceberg Lounge with the help of his ice core that wouldn’t run out of ice as fast nor would it melt as quickly, it would safe quite a bit of money and time too.

Now, Danny was intelligent but whatever he was smart was another question entirely. He knows how to make a fully operational hoverboard equipped with weapons any day of the week, but drop some cold hard common sense in front of him and it’d be like alien language to him. In summary: an intelligent man knows how to built a bomb, a wise man knows not to go and poke at it. And that wise man was be Jazz who was absent. Danny knew exactly what to do in this scenario.

“We’re not going to tell Jazz about this.”

Oswald, who has been quietly contemplating about his life choices for a while now finally opened his mouth “…We can pin this on Mr. Freeze.” Danny nodded sagely, clad to see they were on the same page on this one. Neither of them wanted to face the disappointed rage of the red head.

“All right, let’s start planting ‘evidence’ before the girls come back and she’ll never know a thing!” Danny said as he clapped his hands, only to stop when they both heard a very distinctive voice they both didn’t want to hear at that moment.

“You so sure about that dear little brother?” Since the jig was up both Danny and Oswald turned around to face the music. Behind very disapproving Jazz stood Harley, Ivy and Selina with various degrees of amusement. She gave the boys a hard glare “Want to try that again?”

The two glanced at each other for something before Danny nervously started “Ummm… How was your weekend ladies?”

[sodaabaa]

stolen tires, chapter four

jason returns to gotham after the world believed him to be dead. heavily inspired by the film, under the red hood.

tw: mentions of death, angst, self loathing, grief, abuse

Bruce was obsessing over finding this new vigilante. He wore a red bat symbol on his chest and fought as if Bruce himself had trained him. This new vigilante was an interesting sight. He was dressed almost casually except for the red helmet he wore. The red bat symbol tormented Bruce. He wondered why this man wore Batman's insignia. The vigilante was well trained as well, he swung from rooftop to rooftop with ease, killed over ten well guarded drug lords within two hours and got Black Mask's men to join his side. All in a day. Who was he? Leaning back to look at the large computer screen in front of him, Bruce's butler, Alfred, walked in. 

"Master Wayne, there was something at the front door for you, a box sir." He said with his posh British accent. 

"Leave it here please Alfred, thank you." He said back, smiling at his kind butler. Alfred was definitely more than just a butler to Bruce. He was his confidant and almost like a father to Bruce after his parents died. 

Bruce turned away from the computer and glanced at the box. It was a plain, long, rectangular, red box. He walked towards the box and opened the lid to see a newspaper facing down. Bruce picked the newspaper up and flipped it over to the frontside. In the middle of the front page, in red ink and bold letters it said:

YOU LET YOUR FAMILY DIE.

He was taken aback. Shocked at the statement he tried to regather his thoughts. A red box, red letters, an ominous message and a new vigilante who wore red embellishments. This was surely him. The new vigilante was after Bruce for some reason. Who was he referring to when he said "family?" His parents? Jason? It was true, his parents and Jason all died because Bruce was too weak or too slow to save them but why did the vigilante care about Bruce's family? 

Bruce looked at the time, it was three in the afternoon and he had yet to leave the bat cave. Sitting and thinking who could possibly care about how his family died. Who was this vigilante. From what he knew, the vigilante wore a bat symbol, was well trained and cared about the dead members of Bruce's family. It couldn't be Dick, the vigilante's body composition was much bulkier and heavy. It couldn't be Tim either, he was far too young, too short and again the vigilante was bulky and tall much like Bruce. That left Jason. But Jason was dead. Frustrated he left the cave and walked to his room. 

As he was getting dressed he thought about where he wanted to go. The Iceberg Lounge. A club located in the wealthier region of Gotham, the Iceberg Lounge was run by Oswald Cobblepot otherwise known as the Penguin. Bruce occasionally went to the Lounge when he needed a break or if needed some information. All types of people could be found there so it was easy to gather information, especially since Bruce could offer some encouragement to those who wouldn't talk with a few hundred dollars. He went downstairs and walked towards the foyer when he heard Alfred. 

"Would you like me to drive you sir?" He asked.

"No thank you Alfred, I'm just going for a breath of fresh air into the city." Bruce smiled back and made his way out. 

Bruce pulled up to the valet and gave the worker his keys and walked towards the entrance to the club. He could hear the faint beat of the music from the outside. Once he was inside he noticed that today was a busy day. From the corner of his eye he saw a tall, tan woman. He turned to see who this woman was that stood out from the rest of the crowd. Immediately he recognized her. It was Koriand'r, Dick's new girlfriend. Next to Koriand'r was Roy Harper, Oliver Queen's former sidekick. It was funny seeing them here, it didn't seem like their scene. Along with the pair of young crimefighters was another man, unfamiliar to Bruce but somehow seemed like he knew this man. Maybe they knew something about the new vigilante. He walked towards them putting on a mask of charm and charisma. 

"Roy Harper and Koriand'r. Nice seeing you two here, how's Dick Kori?" He asked, all smiles. 

"Bruce Wayne." Roy exclaimed, smiling brightly back. Albeit a bit too brightly. 

"Hello Bruce, Dick's fine, how've you been?" Koriand'r asked politely in her sweet, melodious voice.

"Fine as always, and you are?" He said, looking at the new face.

Roy and the man shared a look between each other contemplating what they were going to say.

"Andrew Baker, Mr.Wayne, glad to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." The man, Andrew, said back in a cool and collected tone. 

Bruce nodded and smiled back. Something was off about this man. For one he could tell that his name was certainly not Andrew Baker. It sounded like something he had just come up with. Leaving his suspicions aside for now he asked, 

"So I was wondering if you lot knew anything about this new vigilante that's been stirring up trouble?" 

Roy opened up his mouth to respond when Andrew butt in before he could say anything.

"The Red Hood? Yeah I hear he has some crazy vendetta against the Batman. He's a maniac that one." He smirked as though telling a joke that no one else seemed to understand. 

"Is that so, anything else you might know about this 'maniac'?" Bruce asked. 

It was quiet for a moment before Roy spoke up. "I hear he's gonna be going after a shipment at the docks later tonight." 

Immediately after saying that sentence Andrew's icy blue eyes seemed to be shooting daggers at Roy. Bruce noted this and said, "thank you for the information guys, I'll be seeing you around soon." 

He said his goodbyes to the three and left to grab a drink from the bar. So the "Red Hood" was going to show up at the docks tonight. Kord Industries had a shipment that was supposed to arrive tonight, was there a connection?

[oneatlatime]

The Boy in the Iceberg

58 seconds in and I can already see why people say this show is gorgeous. Look at those colours! Although the double image around some of the line art is distracting.

Can water do that? Just have random fast currents in an otherwise pretty still ocean? Also, Catara couldn't have grabbed a spare paddle and helped? Actually they seemed screwed anyway. If they were going any faster they probably would have landed harder, or not on ice at all.

Judging by Sokka's lack of reaction to Catara's temper tantrum, I'd say she has that exact rant at least three times a week.

It's a face!

Maybe the giant orb created the current to summon them there?

Catara has no self-preservation instincts at all. Giant glowy orb washed up in front of you, don't poke it!

Tiger seals.

Solitaire. Neat.

That haircut is not good. Also a very unique choice for a voice. Wait this is Zuko? The guy everyone's obsessed with?

I love Appa already.

"this is Catara, my flying sister." A man after my own heart.

They really would have been stuck without Aang to offer a ride. What was their plan to get home?

Zuko is a prince? Hunting the avatar to reclaim his honour. Not sure how those two go together but ok. I guess 100 years ago the avatar stole a time-travelling Zuko's honour.

Appa can swim through the night? Why does he have six legs?

I didn't know this was a dream sequence at first and I was wondering where Sokka and Catara were. For future reference: dreams are brown.

Aang should have frozen to death by now. That's nowhere near enough clothes. And Catara can't be only just noticing the blue lines now.

Seems like the village has hit a rough patch.

If this is how catara reacts to a bald child, she's gonna spontaneously combust the first time she meets a teenage boy who isn't her brother. And how is an air bender going to teach her water bending?

Between the Appa snot and the watchtower gag, I sense Sokka will become the butt of many jokes.

You know, if you want him to actually learn, maybe tell him what he did wrong rather than reciting philosophical stuff and then shooting fire at his face? His presumably scarred face? Scarred presumably by fire? Kudos to Zuko for not flinching.

Is there a stick in Zuko's hair that's supporting it upright or does his hair just do that? Does Zuko have Pippi Longstocking hair? Speaking of hair, why does Catara have her hair like that? Surely that gets in the way of seeing stuff? It does look good when her hood is up though.

Good sneaky exposition dump Zuko. Didn't notice it until I thought about it after.

There's something hilarious yet tragic about Sokka spouting the wartime equivalent of live laugh love quotes and losing the battle with potty breaks. He has no idea what he's talking about but he believes in what he's saying so much.

Did Aang spend an hour in there?!?

So pretty.

Appa has six legs and penguins have four wings. Is the rule in this show that animals have 50% more appendages?

Last airbender smothered by penguins, more at 11.

"I haven't done this since I was a kid!" "You still are a kid!" That line feels like something that's going to come back.

Was the whole 'being a bender is showing no fear' or however that line went actually about bending, or do you really just want to explore the ship, Aang?

Gerbils at the south pole?

Would the fire nation send people back to rig a lost ship or are all fire nation ships rigged at all times and the crews are just used to working around the traps? Actually that would be a great way to catch spies.

I would jump to brain-damage induced amnesia from being trapped in an iceberg for a few hours before I'd ever think of a century long cryo-sleep. "it's the only explanation." Really?

All of these backgrounds are so pretty.

Air bending gets you some serious air. Those hops are stupid big, even accounting for cartoon physics.

I really like the end credits music. And according to the credits, I've been mispelling Katara's name this whole time.

Some final thoughts:

Katara (with a K) is too idealistic and trusting and Sokka is too cynical and suspicious. A perfect sibling pair. Also I love Sokka's sense of humour.

I like Aang's specific flavour of goofiness. He seems secure in himself and genuine. He has attention issues though.

Appa is a sea bison actually. Common misconception.

I like that they introduce the antagonist like 10 minutes into the first episode, but they're going to have to flesh him out way more before I read Zuko as anything other than an asshole. Also the voice is going to take a while to get used to. It's not that it doesn't fit the character design, it's just that I've never heard an actual human talk like that naturally. It's kind of muppet-like. Maybe he damaged his throat when he got that scar?

The voice acting is just superb. Even single lines like Gran Gran have distinct character. I did have to rewind a couple of times to catch what the old man with Zuko was saying.

The shading on the snow, the clouds and the skies, it's all so beautiful. You could watch this episode on mute and still be satisfied.

Katara is the only waterbender in the whole south pole, Sokka is the only man in the whole village, and Aang is the only air bender in the whole world. Gonna be a lot of lonely kids in this show. I sense a theme. I bet Appa is the only sea bison too.

Sokka is my favourite so far, but I think Aang is going to grow on me. Katara is a little bit too much of a Little Sister (TM) and Zuko just feels flat. But that just means more room to grow for both of them as characters. Of course Appa reigns supreme. I hope there's more of him in the next episode.

Even though this was half of a two-part episode, the cut off didn't feel abrupt. Maybe not a full self-contained story, but they left off at a perfect place.

Rereading this before posting, I asked a lot of quetsions. That's good! So many hooks to get me into the show, all in the first episode. I'm looking forward to the next one.

[jesscrazydoodles]

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! I wanna start 2024 introducing my main penguin oc and finally posting his character card that I had in my gallery for far longer that I’m willing to admit 😅

So, This is Jimmy. I took a page out of @flxr-art book and asked her to describe him and this is what she had to say:

“Jimmy is the type of character that acts mostly because of his love ones instead of for himself, and once he learns how to step outside of what he knows is great. He's so very insecure at first, and still is, but he makes due with what he has and even though he's not confident on himself he takes a step outside of his comfort zone for his friends and is very protective of them”

Jimmy has charisma, but he lacks the confidence to back it up. He “knows” a lot of penguins but had little to no friends before meeting Thunder.

He’s on the inattentive side of ADHD and was definitely considered “gifted” as a kid witch gave him such a self worth crisis that still follows him. Basically if he isn’t giving his 110% he doesn’t feel like he’s doing something right. To him, if things are easy, he’s not putting an effort. This mentality has kept him from perusing many opportunities.

He’s the book’s smart to Thunder’s street smarts in the sense that he does that ADHD thing of picking up information like a magnet and knowing a little bit of everything.

As a kid all to way up to early adulthood he had a blog dedicated to conspiracy theories. Ninjas, secret codes, tipping the iceberg, etc. He still logs into it from time to time but since he became a journalist he’s barely been able to update it. Aunt Arctic had always been a role model to him so, in her honor, his screen name for this blog was “Jimmy Arctic” and it stuck.

His mom is Argentinian and his dad was Puertorican but if you ask him up front he’ll just say he’s Argentinian since his dad passed away before Jimmy could really remember him and he doesn’t feel very connected to that side of himself. He’s very close to his mom though. He was born and raised in Club Penguin but his mom moved away after he grew up.

Jimmy is very adaptable to whomever he is with. He can even the playing field easily or match the energy of the other person. He’s actually on his best when playing off of someone else since it forces him to step out of his comfort zone, and explore different facets of his own personality.

On the down side, he can be a bit egocentric, but not in a “oh look at me, I’m the center of the universe” kinda way. All his life it’s been just him and his mom, so that’s his point of reference. It’s more of a “oh, I’ve been stuck inside my own head for so long that I forget the factor the wide range of reactions from others”

——

Fun facts:

-“Jimmy” was the name of my first ever penguin in CP. The name comes from that one character in the Kratt brother’s cartoon. To this day I have no idea why I choose it, I didn’t even like the character that much, but regardless, I’m glad I did.

-I named him Juaquin because as a kid, I didn’t like the name. I also didn’t know how to spell it. It’s fine, it’s a running joke. (Also to all Juaquins out there, I do like the name now, I’m sorry 🙏)

-He was originally going to be related to Aunt A. but upon revision, yeah first thing I scratched. The name stuck though.

-He also had a cousin named Elsa who was a whole other mess of a character so I scraped her

-All my ocs are adults in their early to mid twenties, but of the main three, Jimmy is the youngest.

-His dad named him.

-His mom calls him “Quino”

-Has a lot of ADHD headaches

-He has an argentine accent when he speaks Spanish, and while he can mask it pretty well in English it occasionally slips.

-He enjoys card-jitsu as a spectator sport and collects the cards.

-He came up with the band name. Thunder only regrets it sometimes.

-just in case it didn’t make sense, he has a blue puffle named Blue.

-💚🤍🩶🖤

—

I still have a lot of this character I could talk about but I want to leave it a little bit brief cause if it was up to me I’d keep going and that’ll just be a nightmare 😵‍💫 if you’ve read this far that probably means a failed to put the “read more” and IM SORRY 🥲 or you actually read all this and just 🥹❤️ thank you!

[landboundstar-writing]

Day Pass - Penguin

A repost from my main blog and AO3.

Please tip if you can

And reblog

"What time is the matinee?"

I took a bite of pesto bruschetta and checked my watch.

"Curtain is at 2:30."

"Plenty of time then. More coffee?"

I let Oswald pour the coffee, finding it always remarkable at how uncomplicated this part of our relationship was. The friends, lovers, whatever else we were could be messy. But the ability to just talk about whatever with no judgment, no embarrassment -

Even at our bad points, we had that going for us.

As if he had picked up on my thoughts, Oswald raised his coffee cup in a toast.

"Who would have ever believed the two of us would go straight?"

I raised my eyebrow. "I don't know if I would go that far. But we can toast to giving up crime."

Oswald laughed and clicked cups with me. "To that then."

The hostess took a couple past our table and it started. The whispers, the snickers. I rolled my eyes and put my hand on top of his.

"What was in the Audubon exhibit?"

Oswald patted my hand. "Wood ducks. Beautiful drawings. And I'm fine. Really."

"Would you tell me if you weren't?"

Oswald stretched his hands wide. "I'm touched, Ed. You care. That's why my psychiatrist wrote the script for Ativan. Dual approach. You know how that works."

Therapy and meds together. If you have the right mix, it is great. Wrong mix, and it felt like hell on earth.

"I know how that works." I told Oswald, and he tapped the carafe deliberately twice.

"Would I have ordered this if I wasn't okay?"

I smiled, remembering other dates. Dates where Oswald fidgeted with a watch chain, tapped an umbrella, gripped a cane handle. When he was self-conscious or his BPD was worse than normal, he couldn't keep his hands still.

And coffee only made the jitters worse.

"No."

He squeezed my hand back. "Let's head to the theater then."

We took a cab to the theater, and I rested my head on Oswald's shoulder until we reached the theater with the familiar black and red sign, the stylized flower in the corner, and the shining marquee lights. 

"Lunch and a show. Isn't it supposed to be dinner and a show?"

"Only if you want to do my taxes for the Iceberg Lounge."

I kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, but not enough to do your accounting. We'll have a matinee".

And for once, our "it's complicated" didn't feel so complicated.

[finniestoncrane]

Finnie ILU congrats on your follower milestone 💓 you absolutely deserve it! I am constantly in awe of your talent and ability to conistently put out such amazing content. May I please request a lil 500 word somethin with 🐧😤🤍 please? Specifically The Batman Oz. Thank you 💜💜💜

Inadequate

farrell!penguin x female!reader/jealousy ty so much ;-; ily and i appreciate you and omg but uh...oop this made me think of the deleted scene and my heart hurt a lot! 💜 minors DNI!! 🔞 500 words, cw: so much angst, made daddy oz sad, i am sorry requests are closed • kofi link • minors DNI • tag: finnie500

A tense moment, pausing before you knocked on the door to the office of Oswald Cobblepot, your boss at the Iceberg Lounge, notorious kingpin in Gotham’s underworld, an ex-flame from a brief and really, non-existent fling. You took a deep breath in, trying not to think of the possible, although admittedly exaggeratedly negative, reasons you thought he had called you in for.

Two knocks, swift, purposeful, but still quieter than they needed to be. He heard though, and called you in.

“Come in, sweetheart.”

Walking in, you were greeted by the top of his head, his face buried in some paperwork on the desk as he gestured his hand, without looking up, showing you to the seat in front of him. Taking your position, back up straight, trying to stabilise your breaths, you waited until he was ready to speak, but he sat in silence for a few minutes longer.

You didn’t mean to be nosy, but you couldn’t help but wonder what he was looking at so intensely. A quick peek revealed that it was your employee records. On top of the pile, your latest request for time off. Confused, you decided to speak first, out of turn.

“Mister Cobblepot, is there someth-”

“I’ve been good to you, huh?”

The question knocked you back. Professionally? Personally? You couldn’t tell what he meant. And in the stunned silence, mouth open and moving, no sounds coming out, he finally looked up at you.

“Vacation time. Emergency contact updated to…who is this guy?”

“He’s who I’m going with…my boy-”

He shook his head, putting his hand up to stop you, pressing his fingers to his temples, then rubbing the bridge of his nose between his furrowed brows.

“This is how I find out, kid? What? You ain’t got the decency to come and say it to my face? Who do you think approves this shit?”

“Oswald, I swear to you, I thought this was something that middle-management would deal with. I never realised…it was difficult to…”

“You’re busy, you ain’t got time for a relationship, you can’t see yourself with someone right now.”

You recognised the words as your own, thrown back into your face.

“So what is it then? Because that was only two months ago. What’s changed?”

His tone was condescending, a self-satisfied, but deeply hurt, smile spread over his scarred face as he waited for your answer.

“It wasn’t like that…you’re just…it was…”

“What, am I not good enough for you?”

“Oswald…I-”

His large hands were up again, both of them, pushing the air, pushing you away.

“Save your breath, kid. You can go, I’ll approve this. No hard feelings, huh?”

That was easier than you expected. But as you stood, turning to walk to the door, he grabbed your forearm and held you back.

“Oswald…”

“You remember this moment, when it all inevitably comes crashing down. I’m good enough, sweetheart. I’m better than good. Remember that.”

You left without another word, breathing out finally when the door was closed behind you. The silhouette of Oswald in the window panel, elbows on his desk, head in his hands.

[attackfish]

hi there! anything on the aang-ty lee swap?

Continued from: [Link] and [Link].

1. Li isn't exactly unhappy when Sokka has much more serious grown up stuff to do than go penguin sledding with them. It gives her a chance to be alone with another girl, with no boys and no grownups around. She hasn't had a chance to be alone with another girl since she had to leave the Eastern Air Temple. And she can't stop staring. It makes her feel, maybe not jealous but self-conscious. Katara has such beautiful hair, and it wasn't that long since Li became a master airbender, and they had to shave her head for the tattoos, and her hair is only a few minutes long and awkward and floppy. But she can't stop staring. Maybe that's why sthe almost misses the old Fire Nation war ship, entombed in the ice.

2. But Katara notices, and points it out to her, and in a fit of daring, and a desire to make this time with Katara last longer, and may e to impress her Li talks her into going inside. It's cold, and quiet, with creaky iron floors, and it's appropriately eery, and just a little spooky. But it quickly becomes the wrong kind of spooky when Katara talks about the war, and when she tells Li that she thinks she might have been frozen in the iceberg for a hundred years. That can't be right, can it?

3. On their way out of the ship, Li stumbles right into a booby trap that locks them inside and fires off a flair. But, as she points out to Katara, there's a hole in the ceiling, and she's an airbender. She jumps through, carrying Katara with her, and they run back to the village as fast as they can.

4. When they get back, Sokka yells at them for going into the ship, and accuses Li of being a Fire Nation spy and kicks her out for being trouble and dangerous, and Katara insists on going with her and Li has to tell her she can't, and then an annoying angry guy with a ponytail and a face scar shows up, and she has to go back to the village, to protect them, and the angry ponytail guy demands she surrender to him in exchange for The villages safety, and she agrees, and everything is happening very very fast, and she has to figure out how to escape from here, and before she knows it, Sokka and Katara have shown up on Floofy to rescue her, and they are flying away from angry ponytail guy and his ship, and making plans to go to the North Pole.

5. The thing about Mai is, for all her time with Azula was horrible, and she spent so much of it scared, and angry and miserable and it's a relief to be away from her, being around Azula was never boring. There was something about her, something compelling, that drew Mai in, and without her there it's almost as if things lack color. Nothing feels as intense, as sharp, as real without her there. And honestly it's not even that she wants to go back, is that she desperately needs somebody to talk about any of this with, someone who knew what it was like. When she finds out that Ty Aang was so close, just outside of Omashu, she is not going to take it well.

[pyramultimuse]

A new king

@ofkingpenguin with Harls

Now that Mooney was out of the picture there was a new person to take her place. The new king just so happened to be her little umbrella boy. Good for him in Harled's book. The woman looked out for the girls she took under her wing, but Fish always mistreated the guys. Though she knew how things ran on the streets, the new guy didn't. Penguin was going to have to learn that just because he was king didn't make him untouchable.

It started out with a little vandalizing, some neon spray paint outside the Iceberg Lounge. A cartoony penguin that wore a golden crown and cane with the words DONT DROP YOUR CROWN in big bold lettering along with red HaHaHa! in the shape of a crescent with the playing card shapes of a red diamond and black spade to make a grinning clown face. That was Harls signature look when in costume at the circus, a harlequin clown in red and black with his performance consisting of cardtricks and trying to sabotage the other performers. The mischievous jester, both when performing and out on the streets.

Thievery was the next step. Stealing from Penguin, both from the club and the man's personal finances. Harls would intercept deliveries of food and alcohol, taking the delivery truck for a joyride and leaving it someplace Penguin's men would find it. When he took large sums of money he would give it back, though usually in the form of random expensive things. Like a six-foot tall ice statue of an emperor penguin and three hundred pounds of swedish fish candies.

Beating down Penguin's hired hands was more challenging than the rest of his self-assigned tasks, but only by a little. Zsasz letting it slide as they were friends and Harls not intending any lasting harm to Penguin's goons plays dumb when Oswald questions him about how the others got beaten up. This all was in good fun in causing some trouble for Oswald.

The last step was to get into the club and Harled had just the thing. He arrived to the Iceburg Lounge in his harlequin costume, the one he used a little of Penguin's stolen money to upgrade to finer material and made the design a little more slutty than what he usually wore in the circus ring. Tight shorts over torn fishnet stockings, faux leather corset under a croptop jacket, a ruffle lace half skirt and knee high boots. His outfit was all red, black and white with strips and playing card symbols as the pattern. He arrived at the back entrance that the employees used and Zsasz let him right in. A high-five exchanged between the teen and the hitman before they went their separate ways in the club, Victor going to meet with Oswald up in the VIP section and Harls going out to the main floor.

The jester fit right in despite being in utterly ridiculous attire compared to the finely dressed men and women of the criminal elite and high society. Easily blending in as if he was a hired performer to entertain the club goers. Wise-cracking jokes and taking over the card table where the gambling was happening, Blackjack was the game and Harls inserted himself as dealer. With his skilled slide of hand he made it seem like everyone at the table was going to win big. Making them think they were on a lucky winning streak until he was able to bait the gamblers to go all in. That was when the cards turned and Harls made them lose everything, there was close to a million dollars on the table lost. The look on their faces were priceless, Harled cackled at how angry one mobster was that the man was red as a tomato. Harls mocked the man for his loss and threw the cards he had hidden up his sleeve at the man's face, revealing that this loss was all his control. This caused an uproar in the club, the angry gamblers now wanting to kill the clown for cheating them out of all their money.

[carousel-of-souls]

Gotham New Orleans Backstory: Victor and Nora Fries

Warnings: chronic illness, parental death

He was born and raised mainly in America but Victor’s parents and family are from Brazil. He has always been very focused on his studies and had a habit of self-isolating. He really didn’t like being around others when growing up.

When he was in his 20s he was convinced to visit Brazil by his cousins since one of his aunts was getting up in age and wanted to see him. This happened to be during carnival. He hated how crowded and loud everything was until he saw one of the women that was dancing in the street.

Nora is from Trinidad, she has been in and out of the hospital her whole life, that made her want to make the time she could be out of the hospital/out of bed more memorable. She loves to dance and she always loved watching the birds outside the hospital window.

The cause of Nora’s health issues was the US military doing experimentation near where she was born, not caring for the citizens of the land they were hurting, radiation and other things leeched into the water.

Nora had a compromised immune system and cardiovascular issues. She had fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, and easy bruising. Her mother died of cancer when Nora was 12 and she had to live with various family members over the years.

She had to have quite a few surgeries and has a lot of scarring from that. After a surgery to treat a valve issue in her heart she had a few years where her health was more manageable.

She became an ornithologist when she was older and moved to Rio.

She had very elaborate Carnival costumes, when Victor spotted her she was in a blue one with lots of big feathers.

Victor suddenly regretted never building social skills, he just dissociated and walked over to her. He doesn’t even remember what he said but luckily she thought it was cute.

They started dating and were long distance for a while until Nora moved to Gotham to marry him. This wasn’t what she moved for but it helped that Victor’s income was very good, he was a scientist at this point working in the science department of Wayne Enterprises, and she wouldn’t have to scrape by for her medical bills anymore. Having a husband who was technically a doctor also meant there was less mucking around when she needed prescriptions filled.

Victor considered everything about Nora perfect besides her music taste. She likes a lot of cheesy poppy late 90s/early 2000s music, specifically the song Barbie Girl. She didn’t have Barbies but dolls were one of her few escapes from the hospital as a kid.

She knew Victor didn’t exactly appreciate it so she played/sang it a lot to annoy him when they were dating. And it eventually grew on him, became “their song”, they used it at their wedding.

Before they got married they used to go to the Iceberg Lounge a lot. Victor would mostly sit in the corner while Nora had fun. They were some of Oswald’s first regulars and he was putting more effort into being sociable at this time. He became friends with them especially after learning of Nora’s appreciation for birds. The basement area of the lounge had been renovated to keep penguins in, which was just there for Oswald but he let Nora visit with them cause she was just special. Oswald was at their wedding.

The thought of Nora’s mortality scared Victor a lot. He hadn’t ever been so close to anyone before and he couldn’t think about losing that. Nora has always been very blunt and frank about her health issues. Victor would help her with everything she needed up until the conversation about her dying before him came up. That was a point of contention between them.

They had always been careful about this, but Nora ended up getting the flu and her condition rapidly deteriorated. She went into a coma and Victor panicked. Wayne Enterprises was experimenting with cryogenics and he stole a prototype freeze ray. To him the doctors seemed incompetent and he wanted to freeze Nora to give himself time to help her with his own expertise. He’s always had a bit of an ego problem which was exacerbated by Nora’s absence. When Victor broke into the hospital he was stopped by Batman, when Victor tried to shoot the ray it backfired and shot into his chest causing a mutation there.

Oswald broke Victor out of prison and took him to the basement of the lounge as they were both discovering that Victor couldn’t survive outside of the cold. Oswald was worried about his mental state but asked him what he wanted to do, reassuring him that he would assist with almost anything. Oswald got the things Victor requested so he could build everything he needed.

Victor built his suit to keep him frozen and fixed the freeze ray, part of the suit is made from an old soda machine. He broke into the hospital again, this time able to get past Batman and he took Nora, putting her in a tank in the basement of the lounge where they both now reside.

Victor is afraid to try and wake Nora up now because he is so different from when she went under, he’s definitely stalling whether he wants to admit it or not.

[selkymaiden]

Oh okay, this ended up being long but we love being self-indulgent this Friday evening. But I figured why not have something a bit more serious.

"What are you doing here?!"

Sophie's voice is above a whisper that borders on a hiss. The kind someone behind a curtain at a stage event would do. Her eyes are pleading even, a sort of desperation and unbelieving she's even seeing Oswald here.

He on the other hand can only stare back as if he's inspecting a dust bunny and not someone currently in panic.

"What?"

They're both dressed quite well. She in her floor-length dress, it drapes across her body perfectly- a soft grey that- As Roman stated earlier, 'A Goddess would wear.' The Penguin on the other hand, is, as always, in a finely-tailored suit, monocle, and even his top hat tonight.

It's an occasion. Or at least something eye-rolling worthy to Oswald; an invitation from Roman Sionis aka Black Mask sent to him and a few others. Players on the board that makes up Gotham. The club that Roman has them at tonight is closed and only those invited are here. Point in case all the bosses or lessers even he's invited have their muscle with them also. So you could say those invited and their plus... Many. In The Penguin's case, Sophie can see he has three 'goons' as he calls them with him. A sentiment she doesn't like to call her own employees but to each their own.

"We've been invited for a 'meeting', and to be honest I should be the one asking why you're here."

His mismatched eyes bore into hers now, something tight-lipped about him and distrusting. Yet she can see he's intrigued also because he's sure he's going to find out about the type of relationship Sophie has with Roman Sionis. Something he's been trying to figure out for a few months now ever since learning more about the woman in front of him.

"You have to know this is a trap."

"Of course, do you think these three are the only ones with me?"

The way Oswald scoffs at Sophie only makes her more anxious. Something she's never shown to him, in a way it actually starts to wear on him but he keeps it to himself. Much better at a poker face it seems. Although that poker face is wiped away almost instantaneously when she reaches, grabs him by the elbow, and starts to drag him toward the kitchen doors. Away from the lobby entrance.

Her strength actually alarms him as he is shuffled forward enough before putting a stop to her.

"Can you contain yourself, woman?!"

Now it's him hissing at her in a loud whisper as he looks around, trying not to be embarrassed even though there's enough going on nobody really takes notice. Except for Oswald's muscle who quickly try to get between the two until Oswald himself waves them off, while he himself dramatically straightens out his suit. Even adjusting the monocle in his eye.

"This isn't a joke, Oswald. I don't.. I... You're all here because you're lesser. People Black Mask thinks he can get rid of in one go. He's going to have me wipe you from the board."

That makes Oswald do a double take, a blank face before something like amusement and then anger. Anger at being called 'lesser', a nasty sneer on his lips as he looks at her coldly.

"Is that what he thinks of me? What you think of me?"

"No! You idiot, are you listening-"

"Right, right, you're going to murder us all, I suppose. Are you just going to shoot us-"

"Oswald. You need to leave."

Before any more words can be spoken between them, familiar steps and a charming but dangerous smile plays on the lips of (1) Roman Sionis. No mask on. Yet. His arms are out in an inviting manner as he walks up to them both, over in the corner of the lobby near the kitchens. Sophie can see something suspicious flash across his eyes, his gaze taking them near each other so closely. He doesn't like it. Making it a point to gather Sophie in his arms as if they'd always been close.

"The Penguin himself! Nice to finally meet you, I heard about The Iceberg Lounge and even 'Oswalds' once. Prehistoric now!"

The joke and laugh Roman makes are full of knives as he looks unabashedly in Oswald's face. Yet in a sort of needle-like grace, Oswald smiles in an almost humble manner. His voice accommodating as he and Roman 'chat.' Or trade insults. Roman's are brutish and to the point, Oswald's more graceful and full of spite.

It only serves to make Sophie watch them play their little game as she bunches her dress up in her fist near her side. The left hand is knuckle white. She looks at Roman and knows what lies behind his eyes, 'he'd shoot Oswald straight up right now, he's only holding back because he wants a show instead.'

"But why don't you find a seat? As you know I've invited everyone for some dinner and a show! After that, we'll all discuss... Gotham."

Roman's smile this time reaches his eyes, yet it's more cryptic as if he knows something nobody else does.

"Also I've seen you met Sophie here, she's our show. Aren't you?"

Sophie in turn can feel his fingers dig into her side, but she's felt this before. A long time ago, but it was something at one point she had gotten used to and in turn did not wince but finally calmed since the first time Oswald noticed her. Her smile is polite.

"We have, and I am. I'll be singing tonight for you all. Excuse me, Roman, I'm going to make sure the stage is all setup."

With one warning look that only The Penguin can see and his men, Sophie does just that. Leaving the men behind to make her way further into the club.

Typical. When it does come time to 'be the show', Sophie can see Oswald has not taken her advice and is instead seated at one of the many tables occupied by others in similar positions of him. She can make out a few mafia names. Lesser ones. Russian, Italian, and a few Triad members. No rogues though. Except maybe Victor. But he prowls around the back, away from his former boss.

----

The next time they meet it's been a total of 13 days since the incident. The meeting spot is not somewhere Sophie expects. The somber atmosphere of one of Gotham's larger graveyards gives it an eerier quality that she doesn't find amusing at all. As cliche, it can get for this afternoon. The weather, even though it's supposed to be Spring, has compelled her to wear a jacket over her slacks and sweater, a sentiment Oswald shares as his lone figure shows wearing a smart-looking peacoat.

"A graveyard? Does this have meaning to it?"

"No. I was planning on coming here today to see my mother, maybe my father. But we needed to talk so I figured to invite you to meet them."

His words slap her across the face, she feels lucky he wasn't turned towards her when he said those things to her. Things she feels underneath her skin, a boreing sensation she doesn't like. the agitation of emotions that should not happen between them, but probably mostly her. He's weaponized her feelings and emotions against her or it could be her paranoia. Yet only if she knew it was him who was showing more than he probably should have been. Mistakes he's made in the past that have come to bite him time after time, the mistake of trust. Of wanting connection.

"Hello, Mother. I've missed you."

Sophie observes Oswald quietly as he talks to the grave, his facial features show emotions she's never seen in him. It's almost as if she's spying on something private; it makes her guts churn and she wishes they were somewhere else. But... At the same time, she's honored in a way he'd want her here.

"I brought someone to see you. Her name is Sophie."

At the mention of her name, Sophie snaps out of her inner turmoil and looks kindly, yet awkwardly at the headstone. The name Gertrud Kapelput sprawled across it.

"Hello, Miss. Kapelput."

"It's pronounced Kapelput. Hungarian."

"Kapelput."

"Thank you..."

He appreciates when she corrects her pronunciation without any fuss, instead with respect to how it should sound.

And for a while, they stand side by side at the grave. The flowers he lays are Lilies, finally, however, Oswald turns away and makes his way slowly across the lawn of the Cemetary. A grimace on his face as he limps, he had foregone his cane when he should have brought it now that he thinks about it. Instead, he distracts himself with the woman trailing behind him.

"Why didn't I turn to stone?"

"I... I did not want you to turn to stone."

When he stops and turns to look at her, Sophie stops also. A little farther away but their gazes meet and something soft and glowing can be found in her eyes. It's not bright like the sun, the way he remembered when it petrified those around him. The eldritch horror of what happened around him almost two weeks ago, that look is not the one staring back at him. Instead, her eyes have a melancholy look to them, soft like the moon. Still, something fills him with terror to know she's capable of doing that.

"Was that it? You just pick and choose who turns and who doesn't?"

"Listen, I'm sure you have a lot of questions about... Magic. But this has caused a huge problem with me and Roman, it took hours to tell him you... Y-you had some sort of talisman or ward protecting you, which, I'm positive he doesn't believe me. In fact, I know he doesn't."

He watches as she bites her lip before letting her shoulders relax, willing herself to calm down.

"So what are you saying? He's going to-"

"I'm saying I'm with you now. He's keeping me away, figuring out what to do with me. So... It's just you."

"Am I supposed to be happy to hear that? You sound as if you'd rather align yourself with death itself, not me."

"Don't you understand? It's not just me on the line, I've got a business with people relying on me- And Roman... Black Mask will just put fire to the whole place WITH people inside it still. He doesn't care."

It's a battle of wills happening and Sophie knows it just as much as he does. She can almost feel the way he wants to curl his lip and say: 'it's not his problem', or something of that nature. Yet...

"I'm sorry. I should have left when you warned me."

She's floored. The honesty and sincerity he shows her would make her choke on her own spit if her mouth wasn't dry; the intimacy of the moment sends something up her spine. Yet it's the steel in his eyes that makes her believe him and she has to ask;

"Do you- Do you ever fear of giving too much of yourself away?"

Oswald doesn't answer her, instead, he puts his hands in his coat's pockets and sort of nods his head to her. A silent order to follow him as he turns away and they walk in silence again toward the other end of the cemetery. Sophie spots the car he was driven in yards away now as they make the journey across the vast lawn.

The part of the cemetery they do walk to is more ornate with its headstones. More grand. Morbid and beautiful.

"Elijah Van Dahl."

When they do finally stop it's in front of a grave that's much grander than Oswald's mother's. Sophie recognizes the name, it's one of the old lines of Gotham just like Wayne. Even if she was not from Gotham, she knew enough history of the rich, especially the gruesome way the Van Dah's had departed this world.

"This is where my father used to be buried."

"Used?"

The long pause between them feels stale, something dark comes over Oswald's face before he controls it and tries to sound not emotional. But he's not very good at it.

"Edward dug up my father and-"

"Please. Oswald. You don't need to continue, just to know someone went to that length is enough in itself. Yet, Edward Nigma is your...?" "Friend still. Yes."

Sophie doesn't know what to say to that right away, just knowing the unhinged quality those two had together was very- 'Interesting' at best. And if she did not know, or was not at least used to the unique qualities of the different personalities people around Gotham had she'd most likely be very put off.

Instead after another length of time she speaks.

"So... You're a Van Dahl?"

"No. Cobblepot. But I was once a Van Dahl for a brief period, until my father was taken away from me. Just like my mother."

There's hesitation in his voice, in his eyes, he won't turn to her fully yet. Rolling ideas around in his mind if he should even tell her some of his past, as who was she to him? Nobody except an ally, business partner... Maybe something more... He wasn't sure suddenly and painfully; it struck him in his chest and he feared he was having a heart attack. An old supreme feeling he hadn't felt since, well, Edward had smiled at him but then he knows how that ended up.

"May I ask what you mean by, 'taken'?"

"They were both killed. She died in my arms and him as well."

How does one reply to that? Sophie for her part can't say anything to that really. There are no words in the English language or even Greek ones she can think of. So she does what humans have done for thousands of years instead, the comfort of a hand. And sure, she probably should have just put her hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner but... Possessed and bewitched, she watches as if she was a third person in this situation: reach and take his hand.

Immediately she knows he goes to snatch his hand away, a snarl on his lips but then when they meet eyes he stops. It's not a soft stop either, it's more of a given-up gesture. He drops his hand back to his side but lets her hold onto his.

It feels awkward. Unnatural between them.

But it only makes Sophie determined to give some sort of comfort, so she laces their fingers together and holds him firmly in her grasp. And she knows he's blushing this time but it's not... It's not a cute blush it's the type that's pink and angry yet his expression shows as if he's fighting back tears. The bob of his Adam's apple, swallowing something large down, attracts her attention but she doesn't crowd him. She simply stands next to him and holds his hand.

"Thank you."

He manages to croak out.

"I won't hurt you."

What a strange way to respond but it brings with it suddenly the tightening of his fingers around hers. He participates in the hand-holding now and she smiles inside herself.