#DC thoughts

[laufire]

"batman tops" "joker tops" neither because if there's no penetrative sex bruce can pull a clinton and fool himself into thinking he's not really fucking the joker. also no one is reaching climax because orgasm denial equals plausible deniability.

[rewrittenwrongs]

Tim starts a Tumblr account and posts ‘incorrect quotes’ for all the bats, only they’re not incorrect they’re all actual conversations/sentences they’ve had, and he gains a huge following super quick because every line is pure gold. Barbara is the first to find out and agrees to help keep the secret, then it’s Stephanie who either gains access to the account or starts writing fanfic abt the batfam that includes all these details that line up a bit too perfectly with the truth because it’s hilarious, then Duke who thinks it’s genius and either still makes them buy his silence or starts drafting posts for Tim that he said with/to civilians and/or alone on patrol. Then Dick finds out because one of the Titans shows him this funny blog they found and he recognises almost every post, so he starts looking into it just as Tim starts posting Young Justice and Teen Titans ‘incorrect’ quotes too, and they have to blackmail him into silence.

When Bruce finds out he demands Tim delete the account, and instead Tim posts the entire conversation.

[the-brash-spud]

It just hit me that Clark, as a farm boy, definitely knew how and did drive a quite large number of different vehicles at a very young age.

Imagine witnessing Superman backing up a truck with trailor like he is a professional truck driver with 29 years experience, but in reality, his dad was doing that large landscaping pond project once and needed hands so naturally a 5 year old Clark got himself a promotion on the farm

[the-crim-rat]

batfamily bullshit but like do you guys think like when jason was robin bruce would accidentally call him dick on occasion and it was like. haha bruce you old man. laugh about it like a silly joke.

and then bruce calls tim jason and it’s. it’s not so funny anymore

[dickgraysonsbitch]

ok WHERE did the assumption come from that jason todd is this big suave player… ppl say jason todd talks you through it?? no bbg jason todd needs to be talked through it. that man is the nerdiest lil dude and thats canon. (unless it’s ak!jason, but i like to forget that ever happened)

my man is so traumatized and he died at like… fifteen? sixteen in some continuities? he was not getting anything and that’s completely normal.

yah btw everyone who thinks that jason is a player n super manly man is actually a roy harper stan. not lying btw i was one of them

[arjudy224]

Gotham is an environmental NIGHTMARE⚠️

This may be a really niche topic, but my degree is currently in Environmental science, so this is on my mind constantly.

Think about it:

The Joker is constantly messing with the air quality with his "laughing gas".

Poison Ivy's pheromones are definitely going to end up in the water supply.

Killer Croc lives in the sewers? Imagine having to deal with a sewer emergency and your boss goes "Dammit Waylon. Again?"

He's not even the only person who lives in the sewers canonically.

Bruce Wayne is constantly flying private. Don't even get me started on Batman and the Justice Leagues carbon emissions...

The Joker is constantly crashing planes/ cars into Gotham Harbor. You know that water is polluted beyond repair. Imagine having Aquaman step in because all the fish are in Gotham are dying...

Not to mention, Batman's rogues are constantly poisoning that water supply.

The Rogues' are also poisoning themselves by working out of old abandoned buildings that are riddled with asbestos....

On the topic of my girl Poison Ivy...

Can you imagine having this woman in class? Freshman year she teaches the hardest intro level botany course offered. You spend every week going to her office hours hoping to pass her class, then a decade later she is bullying you for not remembering the exact equation for photosynthesis while you clean up the mess SHE MADE. The drama.

Might write a fan fic about this in the next couple months. Comment if you would be interested!

Edit: I started writing a fic similar to this called The Intern if y’all are interested! Check it out!

[covertblizzard]

something kind of adorable about jason encouraging bruce

[gorefatale]

Don't picture Bruce watching Damian don a doctor’s coat.

Don't picture how in that fleeting moment, he sees Thomas—his father’s ghost etched into his son, a reflection of what once was and what could have been.

His father’s kindness, his purpose, reflected in his son.

[ni0x]

I think Damian uses picture of his pets as reaction images

Like imagine one of the bats saying something wild and just:

*Surprised dragon face*

*Alfred the cat side-eye* *Goliath side-eye*

*Titus scampering away*

[ryemiffie]

Au where everyone (including Kon) doesn't know Kon is a clone, the only person who knows is Lex and the scientists who made Kon.

Kon and Lex get into an arguement, and Lex yells "Don't you know how expensive it was to make you?!" And Kon thinks he's talking about like Lex hired an escort or something and is like "whoa whoa tmi!"

[dayasusays]

Thinking about that time Dick cockwarming his gf (us, obv) in a hot spring during the vacation in Japan.

GGGIIRRRLLLLL… love ur reqs SO SO SO SO MUCH <3

୨ৎ ᵎ ᵎ THINKING ABOUT . . . dick grayson, who loves cockwarming you too much.

“that's it, baby?” he presses his lips against your cheek, kissing. his hands squeezes your things, “like that?” he knows you like it too; he knows you like it by the way you're flowing on his cock and hiding your face in his shoulder. it's a tortule, you think. at least a nice one, you think. “it's just too hot in here,” you tell him, getting a hum in responce. you bury your nose in his shoulder, when he lifts you up and almost immediately puts you back down, making a little push into you; you whimper against his lips. “oh, hot?” dick smiles, “or you just like it?” the head of his cock twitches against your sensitive walls, making you scratch his back.

DICK GRAYSON THINKS . . . that he'll reward you for your patience. -` ♡ ´-

abt me | m.lists | inbox 📨 (reqs are open)

[laufire]

i'm thinking again about that post that went like "maybe i just have sexual abuse goggles but it baffles me how much subtext gets ignored and denied", this time in the context of natalia knight/nocturna and her relationship with anton, the older son of the man who adopted her. thinking about his obsession with her and how it's linked to her appearance, about how he's said to be the one initially putting the pressure on her to join the family's criminal activities, about how he jealously attacks and even kills men who show interest in her. about how he becomes hostile in the face of rejection (a rejection that comes because natalia finds out he's become a killer), and how this culminates in anton murdering natalia.

i'm thinking about how, yes, these aren't exactly well-known or popular characters (certainly not outside a very specific niche), but i have never seen anyone else explicitly calling this an abusive relationship.

(and i'm once again pissed off about how caped crussader adapted their story to be about a ~devoted older brother to a monstrous, child-killing vampire girl who Tried Really Hard To Stop Her From Killing People but got ~tragically killed in the way).

[rewrittenwrongs]

AU where John Constantine is Janet’s (or Jack’s) ex and still semi-regularly gets calls from Tim or Janet about cursed artefacts they accidentally found and/or brought home. Each time Tim calls him over he ends up teaching him a little bit about how curses and enchantments work while he removes the effects of said curses and artefacts. Occasionally Tim will call him about non magic related problems, like his homework or how to cook breakfast when Ms Mac is sick. And one day he sees on the news that Jack and Janet Drake were poisoned overseas, that Janet was dead and Jack in a coma, and he hightails it to Gotham with no particular plan beyond swinging by the house to say hi to Tim and maybe visiting her grave. And the first thing Tim does upon seeing him is tackle him in a hug, before promptly asking if he can pretend to be his uncle.

Constantine realising BATMAN is the guy who keeps sending him passive aggressive looks and tried (unsuccessfully!!) to claim him unfit for childcare takes years off his lifespan.

[melloollem]

Jason would never say what he felt out loud and neither would Bruce and they always hurt each other because between half-words Jason saw the worst in Bruce and Bruce saw a lot of his faults in Jason.

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I created this paragraph for a fanfic, but I think it's so good that it deserves its own post on my profile.

[fandomly-obsessed]

Jason Todd Autopsy Thoughts

- When a body gets autopsied, the technician stuffs all their organs in a bag that gets sewn back up in their body.

- Jason Todd was autopsied

- when Jason Todd came back to life there is a high likelihood that his organs were still bundled up in a viscera bag

- Jason Todd could get shot in the chest and not flinch bc that’s not where his heart is (it’s in his belly, yum)

You’re a criminal, you’ve caught the Red Hood. Your boss tells you to gut him pelvis to sternum. You do. Slowly, a plastic bag full of internal organs slides out of his body and *schlopps* to the ground. The Red Hood is not phased. You immediately quit your job.

Side note from @ooglesdoogles :

If you inject the bag full of Lazarus water, will the organs form a second Jason Todd? Self-mpreg with his clone?

[stalkerofstuff]

“I get mean when I’m nervous, like a bad dog.”

Fits so many people in the batfam;

Jason: do to the pit his first emotion is anger, it’s his safety net, any negative emotion gets clouded with anger (this doesn’t mean he can’t feel them it’s like a blanket coving them.)

Grayson: he has anger issues, he pushes others away, and when he gets pushed past his comfort zone, past his façade, he reacts with anger. It’s just as much as his safety net as it is Jason’s, he just has a façade to cover it up as well.

Damien; again a safety net, if you attack first you can’t be hurt. He is learning out of this but it’s still he’s default once pushed

Bruce: nervousness means danger. Danger means their not safe, anger keeps them safe, not letting them see him nervous (read; vulnerable) then their not safe in his mind, so he covers it with anger

Anger is the bat’s safety net.