#Red Hood!Steph

[msfcatlover]

Oh look. Reverse!Robins.

Bruce: “No murder.”

Damian: “No murder.”

Cass: “No murder.”

Tim: “No murder.”

Jason: “No murder for babies.”

Duke: “No murder until you can write me a researched & cited essay on why it is necessary for the greater good. Five page minimum.”

Dick: “I’m gonna murder.”

Red Hood!Steph: “I LIKE THIS ONE!”

[lilbabybirdiefic]

All i want is a Reverse Robins AU that involves Red Hood!Steph flirting outrageously with Oracle!Tim, much to his brothers' dismay.

[ashoss]

batman…..

[disastertwins9000]

bat-shenanigans

they’re the hero’s gothem deserves…?? maybe??

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Bruce, walking into the Batcave: Why does it look like a tornado came through here? Jason: You know that trick people play on dogs? That one when you pretend to throw a ball but actually keep it in your hand and watch as the dog chases after nothing? Bruce: Yeah? Jason: Steph did that to Dick.

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[batfamspews]

Bruce: As you all know, this mission is going to be dangerous so I want you guys to pair up. Whoever’s left over will go with me.

Sounds of people shuffling around the room followed by an awkward silence

Jason (only one standing alone without a teammate): …

Jason: Wooooow do I really scare you guys that much? You guys are really going to stick me with that old fart?

Dick: Sorry, Jason. I promised Damian I’d team with him this time.

Damian: Yes. Last time I did a mission with you Todd, you threw me off a building.

Steph: Cassie and I have been dyyyyying to work together for the longest time and this is the first time our schedules have aligned for long enough to do it.

Cass: Nods in agreement Tim: Last time we worked together you called me a nerd the whole time, completely disregard the plan and almost got us both killed.

Duke: I am genuinely just scared of you.

Jason: … You know, all pretty valid points. Looks like it’s you and me, old man.

Bruce *pinching his brow*: I knew this was a bad idea…

[tiger-grace]

headcanon that after Dick Grayson being Robin all of the batkids interchangeably use “holy ____ batman” even at the worst possible moments

Steph, staring down at Tim in the medbay cot: holy common cold, batman

Tim: please stop

Steph: holy spleenless sillybilly batman

Tim: steph please

Jason Todd on the floor, bruised and bloodied: dad?

(The timer ticks down to three seconds)

Jason: well holy shitballs batman I’m going to fucking di-

KABOOM

[ditzybat]

Dick, sighing: it’s hard being the only emotionally adjusted one in this family

Tim: LOUDDDD incorrect buzzer

Jason: you’re the most like Bruce out of all of us, and that man isnt exactly the poster child for emotional stability

Damian: I concur, while Timothy and Jason see their feelings as afterthoughts, and fear mine underminded - you, Richard, brood and suppress until the miscommunication blows up in your face, just like father.

Tim: exactly, the most expressive and normal one of our colony are the Batgirls… and that’s saying something

[msfcatlover]

Shadow!Steph being benched during War Games because Bruce won’t risk her life in a war zone with a toddler at home. She insists she can do it, she’ll be fine, she can help!

“You’ve done enough,” Bruce says. (He intended to placate her. Instead, Steph recoils as though struck.)

She looks around, desperate for support. But Duke knows what it’s like to lose parents and shakes his head. Cass won’t meet Steph’s eyes, mentally weighing the protection of her goddaughter against the safety of the city & knowing Cass herself will do more good in the city but needs Luna safe to concentrate. Damian’s already in the city and unaware of their fight until Steph calls him—at which point, Damian curtly says they’ll call Steph if they need her but he’s a little busy right now.

“What about Tim?” Steph blurts out, pointing. “He’s got a family! His parents don’t even know he’s working with us!”

Tim opens his mouth to argue, but is interrupted.

“Tim’s benched too,” Bruce says.

“What?!” Tim glares. “No I’m not. You need me out there.”

“They need me out there,” Steph snaps, unable to keep the bitterness & rage out of her voice. (She’s been trying so, so hard to swallow the jealousy & betrayal ever since Cass made Tim Spoiler without asking, and Tim let slip he’d known their identities long before the first time he approached Steph to befriend her. When Cass was too busy being a mentor, when Bruce played blatant favorites, when everyone seemed to think motherhood had cost Steph all her hard-earned hero credentials and she should just stay home with the baby while they did all the work. Steph tried.)

Bruce picked up the phone and called the Drakes while making direct eye-contact, assuring them their son was safe and that Bruce was sending him home right away, that Alfred will bring him right over, it’s no trouble at all.

“Thanks for nothing,” Tim hissed, chucking his cape back in his locker and shouldering past Steph after a few more minutes of heated 3-way arguing which only made Bruce triple down on his decree.

(Steph called her mother and successfully convinced her to look after Luna while everyone was busy, threw on her suit, and stormed out to prove herself by helping the city. No one would ever dismiss her capabilities after this, Steph would make sure of it.)

[prlssprfctn]

Low-key need more Jason, who is writing death metaphors for the laughter instead of the casual "LMAO/LOL", which clearly makes certain family members uncomfortable.

Dick: *sends a video of Bruce tripping on his own cloak by the accident in the family chat* Jason: I AM EXPLODING Tim: ...You sure did, buddy. Bruce: *-*

Jason, messaging with a link to the funny article about Bruceman: CROWBAR-ED Dick, one step from crying: Jason-

Damian and Tim: *bickering in the groupchat* Jason: Stopp, I am going to choke on my blood Bruce, remembering the batarang incident: Jason, can we talk-

[starspilli]

batkids game night. they’re playing fortnite

(click for full quality <3 also available as a print!)

[ashoss]

patrol is fun :DD

[demonicsuffrage]

Batman regularly conducts performance evaluations/reviews for all the justice league members on an annual basis

Someone in the league, probably Hal or Barry, brings up how unfair it is that none of the robins have to go through it, when it's the most daunting thing ever. So now, the batkids have to go through mandatory performance reviews too

Bruce: The audit team says the budget this time was way higher than the last?

Tim, who's laundering an entire batmobile: We just needed extra snacks to feed the bats in the cave

Bruce: They suddenly needed more food?

Tim: Actually the previous bats all adopted new baby bats. Cause they're all like you, you know?

Bruce, trying not to cry: okay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: The record says you broke the 'no gun rule' fifty times in the past month.

Jason: Damn just fifty?

Bruce: That's not acceptable

Jason: What are you gonna do, fire me? Your poor posthumous son?

Bruce:

Jason: That's what I thought, see you at dinner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: In the medical record, all your injuries are listed as 'nunya'. Care to elaborate?

Dick, hitting a pose: Nunya business

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: How would you rate yourself and your performance on a scale of 1-5?

Cass, trying to sound professional: 4.8

Bruce, concerned: Why did you deduct the 0.2? Self-esteem is important. You're getting a five, review over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: What would you like to say about your repeated-

Duke: I'm severely understaffed, you know? As in, i literally work my shift alone, so

Bruce: Fair enough, I apologize, you may leave

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: In your own words, please explain why we should keep you around for another year

Damian, having to deal with this right after a long patrol: I'm your blood son. Would you fire me? Firing Richard as Robin wasn't enough?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: What would you say your biggest flaws have been, while working this year?

Steph, experienced in these cause of her service jobs: I cared too much. And I worked too hard.

Bruce:

Steph: Can't forget I'm also too good at my job.

[bellart]

Steph: what kind of knife can cut through kevlar like this?

Dick, half dead: chainsaw

Tim and steph: CHAINSAW??

Dick: yeah whatever do u have any numbing cream or smth im dying over here

Jason: what is this bitchville?

Dick: with u and steph here looks more like a morgue

Tim: ok he’s getting nasty where’s the morphine

[oh23]

At a stereotypical hero introduction (imagine them like power rangers or anime girls stance idfk)

damian: Im robin

tim: i’m red robin

dick: im the original robin

jason: i. Im dead robin? everyone else just staring at him distraught falling to their knees saying Nooo jason u need to stop doing thattt