#Riddler Family
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Shards of the Nexus: Regression Engine
There's a reason he wanted to be somebody else.
Takes place before Seeker and Seer.
Warning! Bit of nasty language. Also, this is a long one.
@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions
Song: Don't Let Me Get Me-P!ink
The alcohol both numbed and lifted him, blending with the thrumming music to create a fizzy, dizzying sensation in his head. The dance floor spun along with him, the lights a spangling rainbow in the dark. A writhing human ocean of bodies and hands pressing against him, a hundred clashing perfumes and colognes rising to the ceiling, buoyed on a cloud of sweat.
Swag loved this feeling.
Usually.
Tonight, the dizziness wasn't a release, it was just disorientation, and he wobbled across the dance floor, to wind his way upstairs. On his way there, he somehow latched arms with a few people, who ended up in his room with him, but he didn't have any complaints. And he made sure they didn't either.
When he dragged himself out of bed in the morning-well, midmorning-well, noon actually-only two of them were still there. He hoped the others hadn't fucked with any of his stuff on their way out, but his reputation still held on enough that most people didn't.
He was well aware that a lot of the people who found their way into his bed were in it for the thrill of who he'd used to be. The challenge, the bragging rights, the curiosity. Whatever. He didn't mind; he got to have a good time too, after all. Most of them didn't stick around for long afterward though.
These two, however, seemed to at least want breakfast.
“So big boy, you as good in the kitchen as you are in the sheets?” one asked.
His laugh was rough with sleep and residual alcohol.
“Unfortunately, no. I put all my extra points into my hips, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, I do. That's okay, I can throw us something together. How d'you like your eggs?”
“Scramb-” he began, cutting off as he noticed her face fade from flirty, to frightened.
“What the fuck is that?” she whispered, pointing to one corner of his bedroom.
An anomalous form hunched there, pale gray and shifting, just barely humanoid. One of those damn wizard aliens! He didn't have much patience for these things.
“i'm curious about you”
Its voice slithered into his mind, nothing more than a whispered breath, as lacking in detail as its blank face.
“The feeling ain't mutual. Now scram!”
“Is it talking to you?” the other one asked, both partners taking shelter behind him. He glanced back.
“Hey, don't worry, okay? It's weird, but it'll be all right. Hey, you're freaking out my guests! Beat it!”
“i'm curious about how you were once one way but are now another way
how is that
humans can't really change so how are you doing it”
“Man, it's a long story, and I don't really feel like telling you. I just decided to, okay?”
“just decided to act differently and dress differently and be different
what part of it allows you to be different”
“The indomitable human spirit and my slammin' fashion sense. Go away.”
“ah your 'swag' as you humans put it
what a quaint concept
all that garish color and pointless detail
what if you didn't have that”
“Then I'd be naked.” Swag sneered. “Well...more naked.”
“then I expunge your 'swag' and all it entails
i want to see what will happen”
“Bro, that is so fuckin' stu-”
Magic flipped him inside out like a photo negative, a spool winding backwards. A spurt of malevolence splashed though his veins, making his fluffy bathrobe uncomfortably hot. He tore it from his thin form, and dropped it on the ground. Everything in the room felt wrong. Stifling. Everything was so...so fuzzy and soft, so clogged with dust, the perfect home for mites and allergens, and who knew what other kinds of potential pests and infestations?
It wasn't just the clothes. It wasn't just the clothes that made him who he was, it was the attitude, the demeanor, the coping mechanism he used to direct his mind away from its old paths. The Gray had lumped everything under the umbrella term of 'swag' and snatched it all away.
And who was he without that?
He knew. Unfortunately, he knew.
His sideburns itched, unnecessary, extraneous growths that served no purpose but to gather dirt. Everything was dirty; when was the last time anything in here had been cleaned?
“Eddie? Baby, are you okay?” One of the strangers placed their hand on his arm. He shoved them away immediately.
“Don't touch me!” he shouted, eyes wild. “You're filthy! All of you are covered in disease! Don't-”
They recoiled in fear.
“Fuck. Sorry. S-sorry, I didn't mean that.” he stammered, battling back a flood of anger and disgust. “Sorry, just...just don't touch me. You should...you should probably leave.”
“What happened?” the other asked, reaching out. “Do you need help?”
“Get out!”
He shoved them again, and this time, he didn't feel nearly as sorry.
They ran from him, but it didn't matter.
He needed to go check his cameras.
?~?~?~?~?
Something was wrong. Something was wrong.
It scuttled up the back of Detective's scalp, ruffling hairs along the way.
Something was wrong.
They hurried into their study, snatching up a small velvet bag along the way. Seating themselves at their antique leathertop desk, they lit a candle. They stared into the little flame, breathing deeply to push back against rising panic.
Once they had regained control, they opened the velvet bag, removing an ornate tarot deck.
What was the universe trying to tell them? They asked the cards while shuffling, slipping out three, and spreading them out on the desk.
The Five of Cups. The Tower. And off to the side, Temperance, reversed.
Regret. Failure. Terrible upheaval. And...
Swag.
They had to go find Swag. Something was wrong.
The world of the Question Mark shimmered at the edge of their vision. Swag. And danger. A faraway figure out on the horizon.
By the time they realized they were walking, their feet had already taken them to his doorstep.
Inside, everything was quiet and still. Detective heard muffled voices, and followed them to their source.
Swag perched on a chair in the kitchen, sketching on a roll a paper spread over the table.
“Crushing is always such a fun possibility.” Arkham's voice floated, tinny and harsh, from Swag's phone. “The walls closing in, just slowly enough that the victim can see what is going to happen, and panic at their own helplessness. The desperation. The inevitable ending. Such a good time. Well, when you're on the outside anyway. I have some of the parts you might need, if you feel like swinging by.”
“Hm. Not a bad suggestion.” Swag said. “But you'll forgive me if I don't jump at the opportunity to make myself vulnerable in somebody else's lair.”
“Will I?” Arkham said. “I suppose I will. Just this once.”
“Poisoning, perhaps.” Swag mused. “Something slow-acting. Pose the riddle and watch their terror grow as they begin to drop on the dance floor. If someone solves it, they get the antidote, but only the one who answered. Make it competitive.”
“Desperation and selfishness. A delight. But I thought you wanted blood?”
“Perhaps more metaphorically than literally, but I certainly wouldn't mind. Actually, there's enough space in here that I could put together a whole gauntlet without much trouble. I think I'll do that.”
“Swag?” Detective asked, worried. This kind of talk was...uncomfortable.
Swag held his hand up in a silencing gesture.
“How do you keep an idiot waiting?” he mumbled.
“What was that?” Arkham asked.
“Nothing to worry about. An interruption has arrived. I'll see to it.”
“Shall I call back?” Arkham offered.
“I think not. It's not that your company is unpleasant or anything, it's just that I know you're trying to distract me, and I'm not inclined to let you continue. Clever attempt though. I'm sure we'll cross paths later.”
Better hope not.” Arkham said, and they both laughed. Swag hung up the phone.
“I'll tell you later.” he finished the riddle, a drawl of challenge in his rolling tone. “So. You.”
“I can't help but feel as though you are on the edge of doing something you might later regret.”
“Something you might regret perhaps, but I'm feeling better than ever.” Swag asserted, holding his arms out wide. His eyes held no happiness that they could detect, just a manic sort of fervor. “I'm leaving behind all of my guilt and anxiety, ditching the false face. I'm letting that moron die and rising back up from the ashes. Call it an act of self care.”
“I shan't.” Detective said. “The Swag I know-”
Swag slammed his fist down on the table. Detective flinched.
“You never knew me.” he growled. “All you knew was a mask. A fucking jester. A coping mechanism that rose as a defense to too much thinking. He was, by nature and by design, my lesser.”
“He is loved.” Detective insisted. “What has brought this on? If you were truly so dissatisfied with things, why not speak with us about it? It's terrible to see you like this.”
“You will learn to like it!” Swag snapped. “Just like everyone else. Honestly, you act like I've killed somebody's best friend...which I have. Just not today. Not yet.”
“I will not allow-”
“It isn't your choice.” Swag cut them off. “Really, this infatuation of yours is pointless. Don't mourn that disgrace, Detective, welcome his restored superior! And also, leave. I have work to do.”
“Swag-” Detective stepped forward, stopping abruptly as the tip of Swags pen came up beneath their chin.
“Think you can take me?” Swag asked. “You aren't armed, are you? You don't bring weapons here. Swag's not dangerous, after all.”
Detective backed away.
“I shall take my leave.” they said.
?~?~?~?~?
No answer.
“Maybe he didn't hear?” Narci suggested.
“He'd better not be 'occupied'.” Puzzles grumbled, typing into his phone. “He knows we were coming, and I am not playing second fiddle to some floozie.”
He rang the doorbell several more times.
“Come on you strutting voluptuary, don't you dare leave us waiting.”
The door slammed open. Narci jumped. A stranger shoved his head out.
“What do you fucks want?” He snapped.
It was Swag, Puzzles realized with a shock. Clean-shaven and divested of his jewelry, hair slicked back under an olive green bowler. He glared coldly at them, and Narci shifted uncomfortably.
“You, uh, you were going to show me how to rewire an intercom system?” Narci said quietly, staring.
Swag sneered.
“Too stupid to figure it out on your own?”
“No!” Narci protested. “Of course not! You just said you were going to show us some tricks.”
Swag scoffed. He was actually in a suit for once, and...carrying a cane?
Something felt wrong here. Swag wasn't just in a bad mood. He felt different somehow.
“All right, spill it. Something's wrong with you.”
“How about you go fuck yourself.” Swag growled.
“How about I don't, and you tell me what's going on?” Puzzles shot back. “What's happened to you?”
“Nothing that needs to concern you. I had a change of heart, nothing more. I'm just trying to get something done, and I am out of patience with these interruptions.”
“What are you trying to do?” Narci asked.
“None of your business. Let's just say that Gotham needs a reminder. They've grown too complacent in my absence. I've been far too frivolous. Well, I mean to remedy that mistake.”
“Wait!” Narci cut in. “I could help you! If you could use another great mind, another pair of hands. We could punish this city together!”
Puzzles glanced aside. Narci had that weird look in his eyes again. The kid just got like that sometimes, like a curious dog, he just wanted to be involved in everything. Puzzles was vaguely aware of his isolated childhood, but there was a time and a place, and this definitely wasn't it.
But Swag-well, not Swag exactly right now, more like Less Swag, Opposite Swag, UnSwag-laughed mockingly.
“You? The constant failure? You're worthless. You don't have the respect of a single member of this wankfest of a Family, and you're going to help me? More like you need me to help you look better. Get lost you over-inflated fuck suit. You too, Autism Speaks, shove off before I bury you both.”
Puzzle's lip curled as Narci drew back, obviously hurt.
“No wonder you wanted to be anything other than this. You're insufferable.”
“Oh no, the twerp doesn't like me, how will I go on with my life? Go cry to mama, and get out of my parking lot.”
The UnSwag waved his cane threateningly at them. Puzzles eyed it cautiously. A Riddler's cane could be a dangerous thing; Puzzles own had a battery powered taser just under the question mark curl, a fear toxin dart in the bottom, and a short blade that could flick out of the side. Swag's preferred arsenal while he was a Riddler was a mystery to the Family.
“Perhaps a calculated retreat is in order.” Puzzles said quietly.
“He didn't have to say it like that.” Narci muttered, but he followed Puzzles away without arguing. “That's not...That's not actually true. I don't always fail. I'm not worthless. That's not true.”
“I'm sure you'll become capable eventually if you just keep at it.” Puzzles said, ignoring the betrayed glance the boy shot him. It was true. For the most part. Not many among them genuinely liked Narci, mostly just tolerating his antics for Nash's sake. Narci did have a lot left to prove, and whining about it wouldn't fix the problem. “More importantly; what's gotten into him? He has never acted that way since I've known him. We've argued before, and I know he is capable of being unreasonable, but I've never felt actually threatened before.” Puzzles mused, Narci sulking alongside him.
“Maybe he's just had enough.” Narci grumbled. “It could happen to anyone. Even m-even him.”
“Enough of what? The man is a bottomless pit of hedonistic debauchery.”
“But he wasn't always like that, was he? He was somehow else before...before all this. Maybe he got tired of people only thinking of him in one way. Maybe he needs to remind people what he's capable of.”
“Doesn't sound right.” Puzzles said dismissively. “But strange things do happen. We should probably let him be until this passes. Come on, we still need to talk about that sapphire heist.”
“I said I was sorry!” Narci groaned. “I just misunder...I just...”
“You were just wrong, and it cost us! Now come on!”
?~?~?~?~?
Nash spotted him near a wall panel tugging at a mess of wiring. This place was probably an electrical labyrinth, though maybe not quite as bad as the small lairs and foxholes Nash typically hid out in. Nash knew the Question Mark had once been an old warehouse; refurbishing those into hotspots for the night life was pretty common in Gotham, but Swag had really gone all out. On the inside, at least, it was impossible to tell what the building had once been.
Swag turned to look at him. Was he wearing a hat? That was odd.
Overlying his mind and perceptions, Lust hissed.
Nash stepped back, wary.
Swag smiled lightly, eyes sly.
“Good instincts.” he said. “But it took you just a little too long anyway.”
“Is...is something wrong?” Nash asked. Swag shrugged.
“Not from my perspective. Did we have plans? It doesn't matter, they'll have to be canceled, just like the rest. I find myself unexpectedly busy.”
This...this was wrong. Nash could still feel Lust bristling, able to sense things Nash couldn't, but he didn't need that to know something was terribly off here. Swags clothes...well they were always bright, eye-catching, stylish in a way that was either on the edge of going out of style, or just about to come back into style. Swag lived on the edges, shaped them and was shaped by them, but this green suit, that bowler hat, it was somehow lacking in the vibrancy Swag was known for.
And had he shaved???
Was this the same Swag, or yet another Riddler from another world? Nash knew Swag had been a Riddler, but not during the time Nash had known him. Not during the time any of them had known him.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Some kind of vague being came by and we had a talk. I came to the understanding that things were simply not working out the way I'd hoped. Oh well. I gave it a try, but I couldn't deny my destiny forever.”
“A vague... a Gray? Did a Gray do this to you?”
“A Gray? Can't I make my own mind up? Oh never mind, it doesn't matter. I have things to do.”
He didn't even sound like Swag. The easy-going affectation dropped entirely in favor of a mocking, almost angry tone.
“What are you planning?” Nash asked. He eyed the wires worming out of the panel.
“Grand re-opening tonight.” Not-Swag said. “This place will be filled with the most vapid, frivolous socialites middle class Gotham has to offer. How many of them do you think will make it out?”
A deathtrap. Swag was building a deathtrap. It was wrong. That wasn't what Swag did!
“Will Swag ever come back?”
Not-Swag rolled his eyes.
“He never left. I'm Swag. He's me! Ugh, why did I ever allow anyone to call me that? Fucking ridiculous. The disrespect I allowed...well that's over now. I'm him, he's me, we're the same person. I was always here, I was just wearing a different mask. Trying a different mode of being, but it didn't work. Too fragile a concept to build a life off of. Anxiety, pointless hedonism. No direction. No, I had already found what I was meant to be, no use in denying it any longer. It's time for a comeback. Now, why don't you come over here?”
Nash could feel Lust's denial, and he didn't feel very safe either. He backed up even farther.
“I think I'm gonna go...”
“Get over here, Nash. You won't have to do much. Just be tied to a chair so the others don't keep bothering me.”
“~The doorway over there~” Lust whispered in his mind. “~The worlds are thin there. I can get us through~”
“Come here, you fucking brat!” Not-Swag lunged for him.
“~Run for it!~” Lust screeched.
Nash threw himself blindly through the doorway-
-and stumbled into an entirely different building to sprawl, disoriented, on someones kitchen floor. He heard the patter of footsteps approaching and tried to climb to his feet. They were upon him before he knew it.
“Nash? When did you get here?”
“Oh, Nash! Are you all right?”
They helped him up, arms around his thin shoulders to stabilize him. Puzzles and Narci, their concerned faces hovering close to his. He was safe.
“Swag!” he gasped. “Something's wrong with him!”
Puzzles frowned, Narci's pale eyes slid away from Nash's face.
“We know.” Puzzles said. “We had an unfortunate encounter with him earlier. He was incredibly unpleasant.”
“Don't like seeing him this way.” Narci muttered. “Feels wrong.”
The three of them lapsed into an uncomfortably contemplative silence. They were the youngest of their group, just starting out on a journey that Swag had already ended. Narci and Nash were still figuring what the persona of the Riddler meant for them, and Puzzles only had a few years of experience under his belt. Swag was an odd outlier, but he was still a respected elder by now, at least in their youthful perspective.
And yet this thing that they all wanted so desperately to grow into, felt so wrong on Swag, who actually had once been that thing.
“It was a Gray.” Nash said. “He described it to me. He thinks he's made this decision himself, but it was one of those awful things.”
Puzzles sighed in irritation. “I suspected it might be something along those lines.”
“What's a Gray?” Narci asked.
“You haven't seen them?” Nash was surprised. He thought everyone had to deal with the mischievous creatures. Narci shook his head.
“Count yourself lucky.” Puzzles said. “They're some kind of magical being-yes, I know, but they are.” he insisted at Narci's disbelieving expression.
“They don't have any faces.” Nash explained. “They're all gray all over, and they kinda look like they're made out of slime or fog. They only barely look human. They talk inside your head. They're really creepy. They cast magic on you, like curses. They can make you do stupid things, or change your shape, or...practically anything! It's like they're playing pranks.”
“But they have been known to go too far.” Puzzles said bitterly. “Cause major problems for their own entertainment. Mostly they're just annoying, but they can be downright dangerous at times. The one saving grace is that their magic is nearly always temporary. This UnSwag has an expiration date. He'll go back to normal in a day or two. We'll just avoid him until then.”
“What about his customers?” Nash asked.
“What about them?” Puzzles said. “They can go a few nights without practicing their debauchery, I'm sure.”
“But he didn't close the club!” Nash exclaimed. “He's turning it into a deathtrap!”
Narci gasped. Puzzles stared at the ceiling with an irritated groan.
“Of course he is. This couldn't be easy, oh no, no, no. Instead, he has to go and do something that will get him tossed back in Arkham after the Gray magic wears off. This is why these creatures are so insidious, Narci. Their magic is temporary, but it can have long lasting consequences.”
“What do we do?” Narci asked. His feather light voice was laced with a fear Nash had never heard him express. He understood though. They could lose one of their number over this. One of their special Family. He and Narci didn't really have many people to turn to, and Narci had only recently been getting closer to the older members of the group. A few bad run-ins with Arkham had left him shy and demoralized.
But Swag had always been friendly. Always ready with another chance, even when Narci had been rude, or awkward, or-worst of all-wrong about something. He'd shown the same welcoming face to Puzzles and Nash too, even though Nash was technically too young to be allowed into the club during business hours, and Puzzles...well in the interest of being honest, Puzzles could get pretty rude about things too sometimes. Nash thought it must be a way of protecting himself. Even so, Swag still let him in.
“Well...We're Riddlers, aren't we?” Puzzles mused. “So, we stop him. Before he can kill anybody, and before any vigilantes show up. This is our business. We'll take care of it.”
Both boys nodded, dead serious.
“Okay. Narci, you go try to find YJ. I'll talk to Arkham. Nash, I want you to get Detec-”
“No need.” Detective's voice floated up from Puzzles left arm. “I'm already here~”
Puzzles shoved up his sleeve, revealing the tiny computer strapped there.
“Did you hack my Wrist Buddy?” he exclaimed, irritated and impressed.
“Never mind that. Do let me in. We have something to discuss.”
Grumbling, Puzzles typed a code into the tiny keyboard, and the front door unlocked. Detective entered without further preamble.
They were dressed for business, in a sleek green blazer over gray shirt and slacks, a green derby hiding their vermilion hair. They were even wearing their mask! Nash had never seen that before. They looked...dangerous. Not like the mothering figure Nash had grown to know, but like the debonair villain they had once been.
Narci stared with unabashed awe. Puzzles, on the other hand, crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.
“One would almost think you knew something in advance.” he said impudently.
“I did foresee something happening.” Detective replied.
“Oh, you foresaw it? How inconvenient that you didn't see fit to clue anybody else in!”
Nash squirmed. The Detective had visions. Claimed to have visions, anyway. And while Puzzles acknowledged the otherworldly beings that Nash was friends with, and the Grays with their magic, he did not entirely accept the Detectives oracular assertions.
“I didn't see exactly what it was. You know it doesn't work that way.”
“What a helpful ability.”
“Puzzles, we don't have time for this. Let's argue about it over tea some other time.”
“Yeah.” Narci said disapprovingly. “We have to help Swag. I'll go get YJ.”
“No, dears. I saw this too. YJ is too far away, and Arkham is too curious about the outcome to involve himself. He merely wishes to observe.”
“We'll see about that.” Puzzles typed speedily on his tiny wrist keyboard. “I'll contact him myself...Oh.”
The answer he got pulled his mouth into a frown. Detective cleared their throat.
“As I was saying, I saw something important pertaining to Swag. And then I spoke to him.”
“Odious, isn't he?” Puzzles said at Detective's disgruntled expression.
“Swag made an important decision about where to go with his life, and while it may be different that what you three would do, it was his choice. That has been taken from him, by force of magic, and that cannot be allowed. We make our own fates, and we must support each other in our decisions. We will not allow him to fall. So, suit up dear children. We're staging a coup~”
“How many times do I have to tell you I am not a child?” Puzzles complained, but Nash and Narci were already dashing back to their respective universes, to gear up.
Nash didn't have much; a mismatched thrift store Sunday suit, made for someone much younger than him. A shoplifted self defense keychain he could stab with. A miniature canister of pepper spray. He also had a lockpick that he hid in his department store trilby, and a very sharp hat pin, as well as a pocket knife, a portable usb drive with a deadly computer virus, a set of jewelers tools that he used on wiring, and one of YJ's smoke bombs. Nash tied his mask-just a strip of black cloth with holes cut out-around his head, and returned through the worlds, to Puzzles apartment.
Puzzles had taken the time to gear up as well, in his coveted kelly green suit and brilliant purple gloves. The colors smashed against each other, practically glowing at the edges. The classic bowler perched on his head and sleek mask always made him look older, and Nash knew he had some wicked weaponry hidden away.
Narci didn't have many places to hide things in his form-fitting, hand painted unitard and gymnasts shoes, but Narci carried few weapons or tools. He didn't need them; Narci was actually very strong, and could hold his own well in a fight, all of which was clear by merely a look at him in this getup. Any items he needed, he kept in a slender harness that girded his waist and thighs. He said it was to keep his freedom of movement, and Nash knew he'd been training as a gymnast ever since he could walk, but Nash couldn't help but bashfully notice how the harness accentuated certain of Narci's assets. In fact, the outfit put everything on display, and with his tight black curls, and slim, diamond shaped mask that hid very little of his face, it seemed like Narci wanted to be seen.
He practically posed; shoulders back and chest out, nose proudly in the air. He was only an inch taller than Nash, but seemed much bigger next to Nash's shrinking slouch.
“Have we got everything we need?” Detective asked. All three young men nodded. “All right. You have all been to the Question Mark before. Do you know the internal layout?”
“I've been inside.” Puzzles said. “I know how both floors are laid out.”
“Me too.” Nash added.
“I've only seen the first floor.” Narci admitted.
“All right. So here's what we'll do.”
?~?~?~?~?
The crowd outside the Question Mark was thick with people and irony; scattered among clubbers finery were people sporting Riddler costumes-the gallows humor of Gotham. Everyone knew who owned this nightclub, as Swag had not just not hidden the fact, but had actively banked on it.
Puzzles slipped unnoticed into the crowd, making his way up to the front where he immediately picked a fight with the bouncer. The others used the distraction to find a way into one of the areas few surveillance blind spots.
“Do you think you can do it?” Detective asked quietly. Narci scanned the wall carefully, taking in the texture of the bricks, the decorative façade, the bars on the windows, the height of the roof.
“Yes.” he said confidently, and began to climb. Nash watched him scramble up the building, taking out security cameras and motion sensors along the way. His job was to destroy as much of the security system as possible; especially the flood lights on the roof. They didn't move again until Narci had disappeared over the top, then they sneaked along, hugging the wall, until reaching nearly the back of the building.
This area was employees only, and fenced in with tall chain link. Nash was a Gotham youth, and scaled it easily, pausing at the barbed wire coiled at the top. His jeweler's tools included a wire cutter, and after a few tries, he was able to remove a length of the barbed wire wide enough for him to pass through. Back on the asphalt, he began working on the lock. It was good quality, but nothing Nash couldn't pick. Swag was protecting against the basic Gotham punks, after all, not other Riddlers.
In the meantime, Detective had set down their briefcase and opened it, lifting out a honed woodcutter's ax, with a handle wrapped in blue leather.
“It's one of Jervis's.” They said at Nash's stare. “He insisted I bring it with me. It may prove useful after all.”
The lock clicked in Nash's hand, and he tossed it over his shoulder, letting the Detective breeze through the gate. It sucked they had to cause all this damage, but it was better than letting Swag get dragged off to jail just because some Gray thought it'd be funny.
Detective began examining the power meter, but Nash noticed movement and pulled them back around the corner. The two peeked around to see a pair of very tough looking women approach the employees entrance.
“Oh dear.” Detective whispered. “This could be bad. I've seen those two before; they're this worlds Query and Echo. Rotten luck that they'd be here tonight.”
“I'll distract them.” Nash volunteered. Detective grabbed his arm.
“You mustn't try to fight them.” they insisted. “They are very dangerous!”
“I won't.” Nash said. “Just trust me, okay?”
Detectives lips thinned out, but they let go.
Nash stuck his hands in his pockets, let his head droop and walked into the employee parking lot, kicking at a rock.
The women paused. He let just a little bit of his secret power seep out, a supernatural drug that mentally disarmed anyone who looked at him. These two would see whatever it was that would make them most sympathetic towards him.
“Hey, either of you two got two dollars I can borrow?”
“What's the matter kid?” one asked. “Fake ID didn't work out?”
“Yeah.” Nash said sullenly, petulance seeping out of his demeanor. “And my ride says she's gonna stay anyway, and I don't have any bus fare. Can't call my mom to come pick me up; I'd be grounded for a month.”
He'd slowly made his way over to them, acting exactly like a defeated teenager, and both women smiled condescendingly.
“Ha. It was a nice try kid. Here, take this and come back in a few years.”
Nash was just reaching out to take the money, mind whirring on how to continue the distraction, when the floodlights went out.
“What the fu-”
Nash whipped his hand out of his pocket and threw YJ's smoke bomb to the ground. It exploded into a miasma of choking green. Behind him, the sound of metal striking brick as Detective took the chance to shear the meter clean off the wall. The rest of the external lights went dark.
Beside him, something dropped into the cloud of smoke, landing on one of the searching women with a heavy thud. Nash flinched and threw himself through the employee entrance, hoping Narci hadn't killed her with the impact.
He skidded down the hall, hugging the walls, as the sounds of fighting faded behind him. The area was bathed in eerie green, the emergency lighting casting deep shadows.
“Lust, help me hide.” Nash whispered.
“~Of course. Relax yourself and let me embrace you~”
Nash concentrated on relaxing his body through the tickling sensation of Lusts hundreds of amorphous tendrils breaching his skin. They wrapped tightly around every inch of his body, covering him in a smoky bodysuit of shifting shadows.
Now camouflaged, he slinked down the hall and up the stairs, not entering the dance floor. He was sure it was trapped, waiting for hapless revelers to meet their makers. Maybe they deserved it, maybe they didn't; Nash didn't care about that very much, but he knew that Swag would.
He crept along the second story, the darkness itself seeming to muffle his steps. A door banged open, and Nash threw himself into the bedroom doorway, heart in his throat. UnSwag stalked by and down the stairs, grumbling angrily about the power.
Nash skittered into the newly vacated room before the door shut. It was full of darkened screens and neatly lined computer towers, their whirring hum silenced.
Swag had backup generators. Of course he would. He must have. And that's where UnSwag had to be heading. Nash readied his usb drive. The screens flickered back to life, and Nash jammed the usb in. He might only have a few moments.
Fingers flying he unleashed the malevolent little worm of code, then slipped back out into the now worryingly lit hallway. Down the stairs, towards the exit-
Snatched off his feet, and slammed headfirst into the wall. Lust took the edge off the blow, but it still rattled Nash's brain. UnSwag twisted his arm behind him, held him by his hair, and dragged him out onto the dance floor.
“Hey guys! You looking for this? You fucking looking for this?” He shook Nash hard, who squealed under the pressure on his arm. Narci, Puzzles, and the Detective all turned from their positions creeping along the walls in search of traps.
“Lust!” he hissed through gritted teeth.
“~If I do it, he will be harmed! Perhaps permanently~” the demon whispered from within him. “~I can get you free, but he might not recover~”
“Hold off then. We didn't come to kill him.”
“Stop mumbling, brat.” UnSwag growled in his ear. “Whatever code you're trying to use, it won't work. They won't do a thing while I have you. Isn't that right?”
Detective held their hands up, palms empty. Jervis's hatchet was nowhere to be seen.
“Please. There is no need to endanger the boy.” they said gently.
“He endangered himself. He didn't have to throw in with you and invade my home, but he did. He made his own choice. There are consequences for that.”
“Look, we're not trying to hurt you or anything.” Puzzles said. “We're just trying to save you from regrets.”
“Who asked you?”
“You would have, if you were in your right mind. But you are being controlled right now, by one of those gray beings-”
“Puzzles!”
“Wrong answer!” UnSwag snarled, and flung Nash out onto the trapped floor.
The others began shouting. Nash hit a pressure plate, heard it click.
Nothing.
“What.” UnSwag said. Nash rose from the floor, grinning like the devil.
“Oops.” he said. “I think I broke it. Sorry.”
UnSwag shoved his hand into his jacket. Whatever he was reaching for, he never made it. Narci hit him with freight train force, and he went down instantly. Nash winced. Narci never did pull his punches.
The acrobatic Riddler swiftly had UnSwag tied with a cord from his harness. He immediately started wiggling free, so Narci perched on his back and held him down.
“Wow. One punch.” Puzzles sneered. “You are going to be so embarrassed when you wake up.”
“I am already awake!” UnSwag insisted. “Why don't any of you see? It was all just a pipe dream! It was never real. This is who I have always been.”
“Then why is this temporary?” Puzzles asked. “Why did you have to be pushed back into it by force? You know it's temporary, don't you?”
“It doesn't matter! I am who I'll always be! No matter what mask he puts on, I'll still be here. He'll never be rid of me. And what does it matter to you anyway? Why would you go so far to stop me?”
“We are rather fond of our dear Swag~” Detective said. “And we respect the decisions he has made.”
“Why do you like me that way so much? I've made an imbecile of myself, and I'm only trying to rectify that. You three! Isn't this the life you've chosen? And you! You might have retired, but you didn't put your brain on the shelf! All I do as your precious 'Swag', is waste my time with harlots and drink to oblivion. I hate him as me. It was a mistake.”
“You don't see the value in your own choices?” Detective asked. “You've put in so much effort. Do you see what you've built? The people still dance to your tune, it's just more literal this time.”
“Don't fucking start. That shit might work on these fetuses, but not-”
Narci stroked his hair gently, and UnSwag shuddered.
“Don't touch me!”
“Swag is perfect.” Narci asserted. “In a different way from us, yes. But you are wonderful like that.”
“Bullshit. None of us actually get along.” he jutted his chin towards Puzzles. “That little bitch hates everyone. The brat over there can't be trusted. And you...” he bucked, trying to throw Narci off. “Even as that frivolous idiot, I still don't respect you. No one does.”
Narci sighed, and stroked his hair once more.
“I know. But you tolerate me, and that's important too. In time, I'll earn the rest of it. I know how to work hard to become something great. That's why I can't stand to see you like this. All that effort, taken away.”
UnSwag groaned in annoyance.
“So what about the rest of you? Any more pithy speeches before I fade back into featherbrained worthlessness?”
“Two to midnight.” Puzzles said, checking his wrist computer.
“Nothing to say.” Nash added.
“Now we simply wait.” Detective finished.
“Fine.” UnSwag said. “If that's the official consensus. Just know that if this ever happens again, you're all on the list. So nobody better ever bring me back.”
“It'll be okay.” Narci said, stroking his hair one last time. “It'll be over soon.”
“Don't touch me.” UnSwag repeated. “Just...let me sleep, I guess.”
Instead of looming over their defeated foe, Detective, Puzzles, and Nash gathered to sit on the floor next to Narci and UnSwag. He lay quietly, as they all waited together for the last moments of the past to trickle away.
Puzzles wrist computer beeped. Everyone held their breath. If they were right about the temporary nature of Gray magic...
“Hey Narci? You're a handsome young man and' all, but would you mind getting the fuck off? Kinda crushin' my ribcage here.”
Narci hopped off his back immediately. Nash reached out for the rope binding him.
“Wait!” Detective commanded. “Relief cannot be allowed to overcome caution. If you would all be so kind as to move away...”
The young Riddlers drew back.
Detective knelt next to their captive and raised him up by the shoulders. Looked into the clean shaven face, the deep blue eyes, and kissed him, long and deep.
Narci gasped, but Nash knew they were like that sometimes.
“Disgusting.” Puzzles muttered. But when they parted, Swag was smiling.
“Hell of a welcome home. Got any more for me? I'm already all tied up, after all. But we probably better send the kiddies home first.”
“It's him.” Puzzles said flatly.
Nash and Narci cheered.
They untied him, checked him for injuries-Narci had hit him pretty hard after all. Narci apologized endlessly, but Swag waved it off.
“Not like I didn't earn it.”
“Um, can you apologize to the ladies for me too? When they wake up, I mean.”
“N-Nina? And Deirdre? You took them out? By yourself?”
Narci stood straighter.
“Well, Nash dropped a smoke bomb, and I didn't really want to hurt them or anything...but yes. I did.”
Swag patted Narci on the shoulder.
“I'm impressed, kid. Now never ever do that again.”
The young Riddlers didn't stay long; technically it was illegal for Narci and Nash to be in the club during business hours, even if the Question Mark wouldn't be opening tonight. 'Electrical malfunction' they had told the disappointed crowd. But for a while after that, Detective stayed by Swag's side, comforting arm around his shoulders.
“You guys did right.” Swag said. “There's a reason I didn't want to be like that anymore. Like, yeah, that's me, and that's still swimming around inside me. Everything I did, and everything I thought and felt. That's entirely me. But this is also me. This is what I chose.” he stroked his chin. “Ugh, he shaved me. Damnit, that's gonna take weeks to grow back just right. And where are my earrings?”
He got up and began searching around for his jewelry.
“Swag.”
“Yeah?”
“If you are serious about letting go of the past...may I suggest that you actually let go?”
They gestured at the green suit Swag was still wearing. He plucked at the lapels.
“Yeah...guess I've grown out of it, huh. Doesn't fit quite right anymore. I don't know why I kept all this stuff. Contingency, I guess. But...I don't need it anymore. Tell ya what, I'll pack all this stuff up, the suit, the hat, the cane, all of that. And I'll... I dunno. Throw it in the bay. Donate it to a museum. Something like that.”
“I could help, if you like.”
“Nah...this is really somethin' I should do myself. 'Sides, you guys already helped me out plenty tonight. Guess this whole Family business is worth somethin' after all. If you can see me at my worst and still stick around...I dunno, it's giving 'hope for the future', you know?”
Detective stayed the night, just talking while Swag packed, bathed, rested. And though they did see that hope Swag spoke of peeking through as he chattered about future plans, they couldn't help but to let their mind drift to the mystery they knew hung on the horizon.
Artist: @cardwrecks
#shards of the nexus#riddler family#Swag!riddler#Narci!riddler#Nash!riddler#Puzzles!riddler#Detective!riddler#Arkham!riddler
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Riddler (on loud intercom): Attention, citizens of Gotham! I have contaminated the water with... dihydrogen monoxide. I repeat, the water you’ve been drinking, bathing in, and splashing around in today is filled with dihydrogen monoxide! What will the side effects be? You'll see. Have a good day!
Batman: That's just—
Random Citizen (waving his arms frantically, shouting): WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!
Citizens across Gotham flooded the streets, screaming and panicking, some spitting and trying to vomit, while others made last calls to loved ones, some less than wholesome.
Angela Ito (on her phone): Mama, I always hated your green bean casserole, nobody likes it! And Baba was better at mahjong! Me marrying a Latin man was not a mistake! You giving me the middle name after your vagina was the mistake! ... Yes, I'm still going to Lisa's birthday party, maybe!
Angela ended the call, satisfaction evident on her face. Batman stared at her, bewildered, before turning to his Robin.
Batman: Am I the idiot, or did he just say the water is filled with water?
Red Robin (mid-sigh): Yeah, he a hundred percent said "water."
Batman: Right, dihydrogen monoxide is just the chemical name for water.
Red Robin facepalmed, embarrassed by his city. Batman nodded, patting him on the shoulder in sympathy. He then turned his attention back to Angela Ito, the on-field reporter, who was checking her teeth for lipstick in her compact mirror.
Angela: Oh, I’m aware. I just needed an excuse to tell my mom that. I’ll relay the news to the masses after my cameraman stops vomiting.
Batman gave her a thumbs-up, quickly hurrying off with Red Robin.
Batman: Why would he do this? It's not even a crime.
Red Robin: He's a dingus and being used as a distraction. That has to be it. I cannot, in good faith, believe he pulled off a dumb prank that worked just because people don’t know about chemistry.
Batman: Being a genius is a heavy burden; I can relate. Tell Oracle—
Red Robin (texting Oracle): On it. She'll put up posts on what dihydrogen monoxide is, because apparently people don't know how to use a search engine!
Batman: I know, I know.
#batfamily#batman#red robin#dc riddler#batfamily funny#batfamily comedy#bruce wayne#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#batfamily fanfiction#text post#dihydrogen monoxide#batfamily adventures#batfamily fluff#mini fics#dc fanfiction#ficlet#fan writing#batfamily wholesome#batfamily mini fics#wayne family adventures#dc stands for disregard canon#no beta we die like jason todd#writer on ao3
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reblog to defend your unhinged choice in the tags
#concerned and intrigued by anyone who chooses the jonkler#no deathstroke doesn't count bc he's a teen titans villain#no jason doesn't count bc he's not a villain. he's family dammit#the correct choice is riddler imo#dc#dc comics#dc universe#batman#batman comics#batman rogues#gotham rogues#dc bane#killer croc#the joker#dc joker#the riddler#batman riddler#edward nygma#scarecrow#jonathan crane#clayface#mr. freeze#dc two face#harvey dent#man bat#kirk langstrom#dc firefly#the penguin#ozwald cobblepot#roman sionis
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Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:
Liminal Riddler
So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.
And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.
The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.
Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.
Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.
Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).
Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?
It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.
Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.
The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.
Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.
He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.
Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.
(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)
(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc prompt#dc x dp prompt#liminal riddler#most annoying mf alive meets entire government agency who decides to insult him within 5 minutes of meeting him#he would rip the GiW to shreds in a week tops#also he didn’t even ask to use the Lazarus pits. very important detail#he found out he was dying and immediately broke into the LOA to dunk himself into the glowing Mountain Dew#the gamer ghost bath water if you will#sometimes a family is a pedantic asshole and his two lesbian henchmen taking care of a half-dead teenager who’s a fan of puns
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Wayne family adventures is so cute u guyssss
#jason todd#discowing#nightwing#dick grayson#batman#batman and robin#robin batman#robin#red robin#red hood#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#the riddler#batfam#dc comics#dc#dc universe#dc fanart#batman wayne family adventures#wayne family adventures#batman comics#batman villains#batman rogues#my art#fanart#digital art
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omigad
#kuninn!#jonathan crane#edward nygma#jervis tetch#batman#dc comics#mad hatter#scarecrow#the riddler#jervis is just shocked jon said smth about his family
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they make me so ill. anyways here’s palette and shading practice~
sketches under cut
#gotham 2014#gotham fox#gotham penguin#gotham riddler#nygmobblepot#js gotham fanart#oswald cobblepot#edward nygma#gotham#god I gotta use less tags on these#anyways I just want y’all to know I was working on these in front of my extended family at this Christmas cabin they rented#anyways. heheheeeeee moar nygmobs :3
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More sticker/charms in the making! I'm gonna have to make some adjustments on Edward and obviously add Crane's glasses, but other than that I think I'm happy with how they turned out ^_^☕️✍️
#Didn't thought it would be that much fun drawing these little guys tbh khjdfghkdfg!!#Goal is to have the whole batfam up for sale and then switch to creating a few landscapes/cityscapes for cards etc ^^#Batman#Bruce Wayne#Oracle#Barbara Gordon#Batgirl#Batfam#Bat family#Batman rogues#Riddler#The Riddler#Scarecrow#Jonathan Crane#Arkham Shadow#Arkham Knight#DC comics
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WFA is subscribing to my propaganda about the Riddler being on the short list of people who know Robin 2 is Red Hood
#hypothetically my post about how riddler found out could still work here#batfamily#batfam#batman and robin#batman#robin#red hood#jason todd#wayne family adventures#batman wayne family adventures#batman wfa#wfa spoilers#dc comics
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Shards of the Nexus: Elixir Vitae
Once, long ago, a person took drastic measures to survive. In so doing, they opened up a whole new multiverse of possibilities.
Song: Reborn-Kids See Ghosts
@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions
A second birth from the womb of the world, the wound of the world, cradled in chemical concoction, quickening. It felt endless around them, the entire planet permeating their skin, filling in the hollow within their skull. The green, the soothing, living green.
They opened their eyes.
They were alive.
Were they alive?
They had gone to sleep under Dr. Fries's anesthesia, a last ditch effort to remove the tumor in their brain. They had gone to sleep and then...then...
What?
Where?
Nothing but green, endless green, living liquid, the womb of the world, the endless world, endless, endless, endless...
They were being hoisted out of the glowing lake, naked and dripping the endless life. A makeshift harness tied around their torso, hand over hand, Victor Fries pulled them up.
A vast cavern, a goblet in the earth, a baptism into new life.
They knew where they were, vaguely, as much as a mind regrowing its own tissue could know something. That they must have died. This was their contingency plan.
This was the secret under the city, the Lazarus Pit, the life giver, the blood of the world. And beyond that, Gotham City, with its dark but stately skyscrapers, original art deco architecture a source of aesthetic pride.
And beyond that, Gotham City, crossed with a wall, partly flooded, bleak and hopeless.
And beyond that, Gotham City, a neon jungle, Gotham City, a dying town, Gotham City, a retro labyrinth.
And beyond that, Gotham City
And beyond that, Gotham City
And beyond that Gotham City
And beyond that
And beyond that
And beyond that
Endless green infusing their body, endless earth, endless earths, Gotham and Gotham and Gotham and Gotham and
Ropes criss-crossing their chest, pulling.
Hands on every inch of their skin, pulling.
Voices in every inch of the air, proclaiming themselves.
I am I am I am I am I am I am
We are.
Everywhere, all around, they batted weakly at the clutching hands, but it was just Victor, wrapping them in a robe and carrying them out into the fresh air. From Gotham, the voices cried out.
From Gotham and Gotham and Gotham and Gotham
Masks hovered and split. Two and then two and then two and then two and then two
Amorphous gray shadows creeping at the edges of everything, mocking, predatory laughter. Black smoke and blue lightning, a river of blood. Spirals. Spirals. Gods in the sky!
They covered their ears, but the voices would not be silenced, declaring their presence with ever greater strength
I am I am I am I am I am I am
We are!
And beyond that, dozens of bats wings spread across the clouds
And beyond that gunshots rang out
And beyond that Light meant danger
And beyond that
A rainbow sky and a blackened landscape
in the farthest distance, tiny on the horizon
a figure.
And beyond that
Looming
Unknowable
Inevitable
Approach.
IT
WAS
COMING
Significance crashed into them, rolled over their perceptions, a solid, overarching wall of knowledge.
It Was Coming It Was Coming
It Was Coming It Was Coming
It Was Coming It Was Coming
It Was Coming It Was Coming
The importance of it could not be ignored.
It roared itself into primacy.
Victor carefully placed them into the back of his van, It Was Coming, strapped them in, and drove away.
Reality split.
It Was Coming.
The crucial information filled their senses.
It Was Coming.
There were others.
It Was Coming.
They had to find the others!
It Was Coming.
Dr. Fries took them home, delivered them into the worried, fretting hands of their darling Jervis. They were carefully washed, gently fed, It Was Coming, tenderly tucked in to their downy bed.
“What is coming, my very dearest?”
It simply was. It was the most critical secret they had ever uncovered.
It Was Coming.
“Shh, beloved. You must rest now.”
The voices still called. They needed to be found!
It would be the most important thing they would ever do.
It Was Coming.
And they would be ready. The paths spun out in their mind, It Was Coming, familiar streets in Gotham and Gotham and Gotham and Gotham and
Their consciousness slowly slipped away, the voices fading but no less insistent. A question mark on a chain, a student ID, a bright purple and green bowler cap. Dingy gold and a gap-toothed grin, tight black curls.
They could see them, in fleeting impressions, guiding hands, fear and need, and endless green.
I will find you.
The most important promise they would ever make.
I will find you all.
Gather and keep safe, safe together against the oncoming power. The blood, the lightning, the danger, the danger!
Locked arms, a wall of protection for each other, and for all the worlds.
For Gotham and Gotham and Gotham
A figure on the furthest horizon
It Was Coming!
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Konnor: Tim has to be the chillest Robin. He's snarky, but I bet that guy doesn't give Batman headaches.
Bart (wearing a beanie that's covering his eyes): Probably.
Meanwhile, in Gotham…
Red Robin had been punching the Riddler for ten minutes and had been beating him up for about twenty. Batman stood to the side, contemplating pulling Red Robin away, but the last time he did that too early, he was greeted with an elbow to the mouth.
Batman (attempting to reason with his son): I think he's had enough.
Red Robin (pausing mid-punch): Nah, he wanted to say something about my mother. I'll give him something to laugh at.
Red Robin resumed wailing on the bleeding, trembling man.
Batman: I can understand the reaction, I'd be pissed if he insulted my mother especially with what he called yours, but-
Red Robin (seething with rage, slapping Riddler): Shut the hell up, or I’m shoving my fist down your throat! Have to deal with Firefly, I'm having insane people thoughts and he insulted my dead mom!
Riddler (weakly): I'm… sorry.
Red Robin (with a twisted smile, beginning to choke Riddler): Say it five more times, and I might stop. Beg! Beg!
Batman checked the time on his phone.
Batman: Alright, let me try this nerve pinch Ra's taught me.
Batman calmly walked behind his son and pinched a nerve on the man's neck, causing his eyes to cross and his tongue to stick out.
Red Robin (falling to the side): Sleepy time.
Batman picked up his son.
Batman: That's right. Let's take you to the car to nap. Edward, stay there.
Riddler (slurred words): I'm not… shure it's shafe for me to shtand up… Reshting here until I'm at Arkham is the shafest choice.
#batfamily#batman#tim drake#bruce wayne#red robin#batfamily adventures#batfamily comedy#batfamily headcanons#batfamily fanfiction#mini fic#batfamily funny#dc fanfiction#ficlet#fan writing#batfamily mini fics#riddler dc#wayne family adventures#dc stands for disregard canon#no beta we die like jason todd#writer on ao3#mostly canon complaint#dc red robin#tim drake is a menace#tim drake earned the role of robin and he's def not the weakest one... or most sane but i love him so much#hopefully bernard can help his man here#mini fics
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The face he gives when he wants cuddles food or sex🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#edward nigma#the riddler#arkham riddler#arkham knight#sorry#arkham knight riddler#edward nygma#disclaimer this caption was my brother but i mean#my friends and family are.making fun of me and rightly so#arkham knight spoilers
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I be yelling freak at this mf like that one witch trend



#thats it thats the post#riddler#the riddler#dc riddler#dc#batwheels#I've decided to upload any/all art after and on christmas just due to my whole week being family lmao#edward nygma#they may have taken his ass but may they never take his sass🥰
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Gotham
#gotham#posion ivy#harley quinn#batman#nightwing#bat girl#robin#red hood#dc#the joker#cat woman#the riddler#bat family
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Alt universe Gotham
The Gotham underground after Stephanie kills The Riddler (and who was running the Gotham Underground)
The bad guys: Thank you! Thank you! You’ve finally freed us!
Stephanie: Oh I wouldn’t say freed (picks up the riddles hat and puts it on) more like under new management
#gotham#batman#batfamily#the batman#batgirl#bruce wayne#batfam#batman and robin#batman: wayne family adventures#incorrect batfamily quotes#headcanon#alternate universe#stephanie brown#Gotham underground#the riddler
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Batman: The Animated Series Heroes and Villains
By Tim Levins
#batman: the animated series#bat family#batman#bruce wayne#robin#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#batgirl#barbara gordon#rogues gallery#the joker#the penguin#the riddler#two face#catwoman#clayface#mr freeze#scarecrow#mad hatter#poison ivy#bane#killer croc#ra's al ghūl#the ventriloquist#harley quinn#dc animated series#fanart#deviantart
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