#THIS IS SO OFFENDING

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[grudge-core]

"Mirabai Chanu weighs 49 Kg, and lifts 205 Kg to win a Gold. - Inspirational

My wife weighs around 65 kgs, does not want to lift a vegetable bag of more than 1 kg, asks me to carry it…..

and still wants Gold !!!

A frustrated husband😝🤪🤣😂😄😀"

this joke was posted by my uncle in group chat. Indian parents are unhinged seriously they will not see it the joke it sexist, racist or offending anyone they's just send it to the group chat bruhhh

HOW MY UNCLE FELT AFTER POSTING THIS: 😘❤️😋🤪😽🎀

[anxiousgaypenguin]

I feel like making one of those uquiz and picrew chains with these random ones I found sooo

Take this quiz and find out what instrument you are and thennnn

make a lil guy with this picrew :))))

(As a viola player I’m VERY offended. So offended, offended beyond belief. But hey kitty :)) )

@ilivebyshipping @glassesgirlies @lusxnei6

[tweetsongs]

apart from buck not behaving normally about his supposedly platonic bff moving away it is also very funny that their 'fight' also consisted of buck being like 'well you know i don't have to tell you every thought and decision that goes through my mind immediately,' a sentiment which is true for most people, and eddie taking it like a sword in the back.

[ventique18]

So the boys are admiring their outfits. They praise Georgina for it, because you wouldn't have known that it's the first time they've met with how perfect the clothes Georgina chose for them are.

But apparently, she already got some tips on their personalities based on Floyd's nicknames lol.

Yuu is a shrimp so Georgina chose pink for them. Grim's a baby seal because of his round tummy, but she put him in an eel-inspired fit this time. Rook's a seagull graceful in the sky but hits hard in a fight.

Malleus: "What sort of name did that person have for me?"

Jade reveals that Malleus is a seaslug. Grim doesn't know what that is and is upset that even Rook knows what a seaslug is. He questions Yuu if they know

Yuu: "It's a creature just like Hornton!"

Malleus: "What? I look like this?"

Jade: "Those horn-like parts are actually antennae. Sea slugs are a type of shellfish."

Malleus: "Shell...? I fail to see where the shell in this creature is, but this outfit does incorporate plenty of shells."

Grim: "Eh~ this squishy, fluttery, weird thing is a sea slug, huh. It looks so carefree, not really like Hornton except for the horns."

No Grim you don't understand. He's actually as easygoing and derpy as that seaslug lmao.

Jade: "Seaslugs are adorable, beautiful creatures that flutter in the ocean."

Jade: "... However, don't be too captivated and touch it. That will be the end for you. They're extremely poisonous."

Grim: "They're poisonous?! Scary little dudes... So they're like Hornton after all."

Jade: "But they're known to be rather docile unless provoked."

Malleus: "So it's fine if you simply do not carelessly touch it. Then, it's not frightening at all."

Malleus: "I've learned quite a bit more about this sea slug creature. These nicknames that people bestow upon others is amusing."

I DID NOT know that that much thought was put into the seaslug nickname wtf? It really is Malleus omg.

[cryptvokeeper]

I don’t go here f1 tumblr did I get this race right

[comicake]

glad to see that a lot of people were disappointed by the fact that Niko’s colourful lights were not her lesbian vibes but just some parasites

[morganbritton132]

Steve convinced Dustin that the bat bites made him psychic by predicting what Eddie is going to do next. He gets it right every time but it’s not any special skill. It’s just that Eddie is really predictable.

[mmmurdockss]

His devious smile as he steals Vanessa away 😭 Matthew you menace

[queenerdloser]

that mark (very recently!) was so fucking pissed about helena using the wrong name for gemma that he went to immediately do experimental brain surgery as a giant fuck you and then DIDN'T anticipate his innie self getting pissed when he got helly's name wrong really underlines how much mark doesn't think his innie loves helly and also doesn't consider his innie to actually be him at all.

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

I like to imagine that every once in a while Red Hood just goes off comms for long stretches of time and comes back bruised as shit and exhausted before logging off for the night and the rest of bat brigade is trying to figure out which villain of the week keeps jumping him.

Eventually they, cause communication is a skill no one learned, just start harassing hood’s men to find out whose turf they are invading only to find out they thought the bats were beefing with Red again cause he keeps mumbling about brats.

Now they are trying to find out which one of them is lying about fucking with Jason and no one is owning up, the trackers they keep putting on him are fizzling out, no one as any idea and Jason ain’t saying shit. But like he’s never properly irritated about it or asks for help nor can they find anything out so they let it go for now (read keep trying to track him to no avail).

And then one night Red Robin comes across Red getting chased and then fighting off a feral looking teenager on the roofs of Crime Alley and just when he looks like he is getting the upper hand another drops down from above (how the fuck the nearest taller building is not anywhere near close enough to dive into the fight from what the fuck?!?) and joins the brawl.

Tim is about to rush in to help Jason before the two teens’ heads turn in unison to him with Lazarus green eyes and look like cats when they see a red dot. Jason panics and before he can grab them, they leap and now Tim is in a cartoon brawl dust cloud and all and Jason has joined in and is calling them all brats and how his gunna whop their ass- and there is a foot in his mouth.

And yet through it all Tim never feels afraid. In fact, as he fights he realises they are keeping up and beating him all whilst smiling and punning(?!? They must never meet dick SHIT DUCK) and that won’t fucking do, so he brings out all his tools and tricks and is getting matching by two raccoon twins. 20 minutes later they are all grinning bloody smiles and just as he is about to slam his bo staff up into into the female looking twin, a whistle is blown.

They all freeze and look over in unison as if they all became shining quadruplets at a giant shit house built fucking man. And like Tim has seen big men. Bane is a big mother fucker. Superman is a big mother fucker, and is also shaped like one. Bats is big but this guy even though his is maybe not as large he feels infinitely more terrifying and that’s before you get to the flaming(fucking literally, how does that even work or stay in the pony tail) white hair.

“Alright enough for tonight or foods gunna go cold. Inside.” A voice bellows across the roof before the man disappears??!? At the mention of food the one top of Tim almost starts drooling, gets up and starts dragging Tim’s still prone body across the roof and off of it OH FUCK AND INTO A WALL WHA and they went through it… well

A couple second later Jason and the other dude stumble in. Jason picks Tim up as he is coming down from that mini adrenaline rush at and puts a arm around Tim, half hug half chokehold, saying “say nothing and you get to join once a week. Say shit and you’re haunted.” And walks off to the kitchen and starts bringing out food.

… safe to say the rest of the bats are now confused why Tim of all people is now turning up bruised as well with Jason, cause if it was him to start why has he started loosing all of a sudden??? And he says fuck all but his weapons and fighting style has got more chaotic and terrifying.

Oh and he seems to be eating… well you win some and lose some

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[qoldenskies]

i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases

[nat-20s]

One very slow news day when they're all bored as hell at work Lois is like. Okay. Fuck marry kill The Big Three. And Clark replies "oh easy fuck batman marry wonder woman kill Superman" and the entire office gets so mad at him like you KILL Superman our collective BEST FRIEND Superman????!?!?!?

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Okay you can’t tell me that Vlad doesn’t have an organ somewhere in his mansion. Upon learning of this, Danny would teach himself how to play the Haunted Mansion theme on the organ and play it at 2am.

Vlad Masters is away on business in Gotham, and the Fentons are coincidentally there for a symposium on ecto-activity. So it’s perfect! Except he goes to the wrong house, er mansion.

Honestly, Danny thought it was one of Vlad’s many mansions. Scaring the old man is his favorite activity after all. There’s a higher amount of ectoplasm here, so it has to be Vlad’s place right?

When Bruce comes out (on one of his few nights off) and sees his carbon copy playing the organ, all thoughts fly out of his head. Danny finally looks up and also blue screens. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity until Danny’s cell phone rings (the ghostbusters theme??) and he panics. He jumps up and makes a break for the other door rushing through apologies “SorryWronghousegottagobye!” And runs out of the room. “Wait! Who are you?”Bruce exclaims as he rushes after him. They’re on the second story in one of the rooms he rarely uses. How did he know where the organ was? No matter. He’ll catch the kid on the stairs.

Except the kid is already almost at the bottom. How did he get down so effortlessly? The kid practically floated down the stairs.

Bruce gets to the foyer just in time to see the kid realize the door was dead-bolted in multiple spots. He won’t be able to undo them all before Bruce catches up to him.

He slows down and stands behind a pillar, assessing his next move. He needs to be careful here. This is a child after all, no need to spook him any more than he already has. He needs to slowly approach, and ask his questions.

But then the kid does the unexpected. After looking around frantically, he takes a deep breath. Two rings form around his middle and travel up and down his body. His black hair turns ghostly white. He looks back, almost directly at Bruce. His eyes widen as if he realizes he’s being watched. He whispers, barely loud enough to hear, “I’m so sorry, please don’t follow me.” Then, he backs through the locked door and vanishes.