#WHAT DID RATATOUILLE DO TO YOU???

[craftnkittn]

OK WTF

Okay so I was watching Dead Plate videos on YouTube like a completely sane person would BUT then I FOUND THIS….

And like WTF????

[lincolnlogsnfrogs]

y'all what if the Dark Harvest head pigeon was just evil ratatouille

like it grabs zim by the antennae and makes him do shit

[kurooandkenmasslut]

Natasha I’m not ignoring you tumblr is on one tonight 😕 it’s not letting me respond to your ask but I’m good thank you for asking 🫶🏾

Oh that's okay Moneaa! <33

[marcsburnerphone]

And they were roommates

(Captain John price x F!reader)

Summary: the captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.

Warnings: angsty (minimal), john being slightly troubled, alcohol, reader being slightly embarrassing.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5!! -part 6

—————-

You wake up to the sun softly beaming in your room. Limbs stretching beyond the covers. You look around a little confused as to when you got back in your bedroom. Then it all came together. John, John leaves today.

You get out of the covers leaving your bedroom hoping he’s still there but of course to your disappointment he’s gone. You head to the kitchen knowing at least there will be a note. 

Good morning doll, I thought of waking you but decided against it, though I might regret it. The movie was good, you seemed to really be enjoying it also:) Here's the phone number of a friend in case any problems arise. Next time I’m back I hope to see another painting - John 

(xxx-xxx-xxxx) - nick

You stare at it trying not to let your emotions get the best of you. So you fold it and put it in the kitchen drawer. Although John was an awfully quiet roommate you could feel the weight of his absence. The cold floor beneath your feet has grown warm for how long you’ve stood there. You make your way towards the front door deciding that an iced coffee and a long drive with music will rid you of this feeling you can’t decipher it feels like want but in a way it’s also need but what is it you want and need? Not even you could answer that question.

Long story short you think it made the feeling intensify.

————-

1 month in

You’ve booked your schedule full leaving not an ounce of time for yourself. From the morning till night you had clients which were good for money but really it was a distraction for your mind. That same feeling felt like it was running into new veins every day seemingly consuming you. 

You tried to start a new painting but something was off about the color scheme and it was a waste not only of time but material and energy. You wonder how John is.

————-

2 months in

No problems have arisen since he’s been gone. It's like the house knows you’ll call the expensive plumber instead of John’s friend. 

However you have started a painting you are beginning to like. It’s a mix of hues you’ve never used before blues and oranges, a flame. You don’t know where or why the idea came to you but it’s what you wanted so you started it. A single candle is the outline, and the surrounding of it is the orange yellowish aura of a flame. You tried making ratatouille the other day and although it was good you wished it was made out of pepperonis like your childhood mind had imagined. You forgot there was no longer anyone to finish left overs so you ate it for three days straight.

Also you bought a new rug.

————-

3 months in

You’ve begun putting the final laminate on the painting. It’s taken you far longer than it would’ve if you hadn’t accepted 15 new clients. Not that you mind anyways. 

You’re also a little ambivalent to the idea of John paying for 6 months of rent when he doesn’t even live here during it. 

Besides that life seems stagnant and you’ve begun to lock your bedroom door at night again. 

————

4 months in

The painting now hangs a foot away from where the other one in front of John’s door does. It’s a beautiful contrast and really you were overjoyed at the outcome. You also randomly decided it’d be a good idea one night after too much wine to order new furniture for the outside deck. When it arrived you were one in disbelief of all the building pieces and and two excited to have something more to do. 

You should've stayed up the night John left.

————

5 months in  

Redecorating the deck wasn’t enough change. You needed a makeover physically but couldn’t decide how. Maybe a tattoo? No. New makeup? No. How about a haircut?  Fuck it, yes. 

So you did just that, you got a few almost unnoticeable highlights and chopped a good amount off. After the fact you were obsessed. Was it impulsive and could it have gone so horribly wrong, yes. But did it? No. 

———

6 months in 

John’s still not back and it’s all you could think about. What if something happened to him? What if he wasn’t coming back? You worried yourself sick so much so you physically became sick. 

You waited week by week for anything, maybe he’s back on base but just hasn’t come back home yet. But something was telling you it was more than that. 

———-

7 months in 

At this point worrying wasn’t going to make him appear. Your hobbies have now turned into distractions. So tonight you sit in the living room with a glass of wine and watch another rom com. You’re as comfy as can be in this cold brutal weather. It stays below 30 degrees Fahrenheit during this time of year and the snow bites at any unclothed skin. 

You fall asleep to the small hum of the heater while on the couch. Thick blanket thrown across you and tv playing as background chatter. 

You don’t know when you wake but it’s still dark outside when you hear someone that sounds distressed. Your groggy mind isn’t processing that the sound is coming from inside the house. But when it does you're up in a second looking around as your eyes try to adjust to the darkness. 

“Fuck!” You hear from down the hall. John’s room.

You walk quietly towards it as he continues to chant that word. Suddenly it falls silent and you just hear what sounds to be deep breaths. You don’t know what wills you to knock, but you do. 

“John, are you okay?” You ask softly from behind the closed door. He doesn’t respond but you know he’s in there from the quiet but quick breathing. 

“No.” He says with that familiar deep drawl.

You open the door slowly to see him sitting on the floor near the corner of his bed clearly distressed. You take notice of the mess wondering how you slept through the making of it. There’s glass from somewhere on the floor and clothes strewn but when you look at him your heart breaks. He’s in full uniform, vest on, belt with equipment on, as if he didn’t stop anywhere. Just came straight here. His hair has grown out to an odd length and his beard has grown longer. 

“I can’t get this fucking vest off.” He interrupts your thoughts looking at you with a sense of sorrow. You kneel to where he is careful to avoid glass. His eyes don’t glance up to meet yours; they stay fixated on his hands that are covered in dirt.

“May I?” You gesture towards the plastic buckles on the vest. He nods and you start with the two at his shoulders. Then you reach down his chest to undo the two near his belt buckle. You realize it must be connected somewhere in the back when it doesn’t come off. He leans forwards as you look trying to avoid the bloodstains that taint the once green vest and sure enough the tiniest but mightiest buckle is on the center of his lower back. He shrugs it off with a sigh. 

“Better?” You ask softly.

“Yeah, Thankyou.” He slowly tilts his head back to lean on the comforter and you don’t move an inch. 

“What can I do?” Truthfully you’ve never been in a situation so unbearably awkward but so unwilling to just leave.

“Just sit here with me.” So you do. You scoot right next to him and lean your head on his shoulder. He couldn’t admit it but the nights he slept in cold frost biting weather the thought of returning to your warm presence got him through.

“He almost died.” His voice gives out at the end of that sentence.

“Who?” 

“Johnny, it would’ve been my fault. One second later and they would’ve put a bullet through his skull.”

“But he’s okay?” You know John loves his team even though he doesn’t outwardly say it.

“He’s perfectly fine.” 

“Worrying about what could’ve been will kill you.” 

“Sometimes I feel like that’s what I deserve for some of the things I’ve done.” 

“If not you it would be someone else making the world a better place.” 

“I know.” 

You sit there with him for a while in silence. He can barely believe he made it back alive but right now the battle feels worth it. He hears soft snores not too long later and realizes you’ve fallen back to sleep. His head leans to rest above yours as he closes his eyes. He knows sleep won’t come to him but he’s never had you this close and for now he’ll cherish it.

————-

When you woke up again the sun had risen and a golden glow lit John’s room. 

“John.” You whisper trying not to move your head in case he’s sleeping.

“Yeah doll.” He lifts his head to look at you.

“I’m so sorry.” You feel slightly embarrassed and bad that you just fell asleep on him.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” He sighs before standing on his feet with a groan then offering you hand to help you up.

“I’m going to shower.” He says as you dust yourself off.

“After can I give you a haircut?” He laughs a little at your not so subtle realization of his long hair..

“If you’d like.” 

“I’d love.” You say before leaving, assuring him you’d be back when he's done.

You pick up your mess from the previous night. Folding your blanket and putting it back in the basket near the couch. Taking your wine glass to the sink and rinsing it out. You go to your room and change into an outfit for the day and do your morning routine. After you grab your shears, clippers and cape. By the time you're done doing all of this you no longer hear the water running meaning John’s done with his shower. You knock on his door lightly.

“Come in.” You walk in to see him sweeping up his mess with the small house broom and can’t help but smile at the sight. 

“Come on, let's cut your hair in the bathroom, better lighting and you can see what I’m doing.” You say heading straight there. You sit him on the little bathroom bar stool that’s been in there since your ex moved out. Once he’s sitting the only cape you have is pink so you throw it on him begging yourself to not laugh which you fail causing him to smirk. 

“Okay so I’m just gonna clean it up, fade the sides a very little, cut the top with shears and what not.” You let him know.

“You cut your hair?” He replies, staring at you through the mirror.

“Yeah so?” You smile.

“I like it, it looks good.” You feel that feeling only johns been able to provoke.

“Thankyou.” You begin the cut, slowly combing out sections making sure to be precise. He seems far more relaxed than you’d imagined as you just freely cut at the top. After the matter once you're satisfied you shave the sides a little just enough to where it looks cleaner. 

“Can I do your beard and mustache?” 

“You're the hairstylist, not me?” Is all he says. 

So you do, very carefully, mere inches away from his face your hands hold one side of his jaw softly to trim the other side. He watches your expression intently. The way when you’re focused there’s a crease that forms between your eyebrows and your pupils blow a little wide.

“All done.”  You say pulling him from his trance. You move his face with your hands really checking to make sure all is well.

“Very handsome.” You compliment before turning around to rinse your shears and put them away. 

“Thank You doll.” He says examining it himself in the mirror thoroughly pleased with how well you did even though he knows you don’t cut men’s hair. He doesn’t notice you grab his beard oil from the cabinet till you're smoothing it between your hands and asking him to face you so you can rub it through the coarse brown hair. Ever the nurturer.

It feels like time apart only made you two feel closer somehow. Or maybe it’s because you wanted to be close and those feelings were equally reciprocated. 

The rest of that day John had loads of paperwork to file, sign and report. So he did that, he sat in his office for long hours going through the process. The only thing that slightly lightened this burden was your voice humming in the kitchen as you cooked something. You’d stopped by and offered him some which he gladly accepted from your giving hands. Hours later you bid him a goodnight and went to bed and even then he had so much more left.

—————

The next day you catch John in the kitchen and tell him there’s something you must show him.

“So you built it all yourself?” He says as you show him your little project you did outside. There’s a thick coat wrapped around you as you don’t fully step outside to avoid slipping on the icy ground. Him though, he stands on it with no problem in what looks like military issued boots. 

“Yes I did.” You say proudly despite his clear disdain.

“I missed you, even your stubbornness.” After the months John’s been through there was no point in hiding the way he was feeling.

“I missed you too.” You smile while clearly avoiding his gaze.

How had he missed this all along?

“Would you like to go out for drinks?”

“What?” You turn around to meet his eyes.

“Can I take you out for drinks?” What being mere inches away from death does to a man.

“Yeah.” 

-

You both silently walk away trying to break the bounds of the tense pull that makes you want to gravitate towards each other. You put on something cute but also warm and slip on some brown doc martens as your choice of shoe. You do light makeup as you give yourself a pep talk.

“Only two drinks, only two drinks.” You have to tell yourself cause after two your too you. 

You hear John putting his shoes on by the hallway and take in the sight of him, brown leather jacket and beanie. You’re not sure how he’s going to stay warm in that but something tells you he will.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod nervously.

-

“Okay, hold on, I have to do this really slow or I’ll fall.” You say stepping slowly out onto the ground below the porch stairs. 

“Well come here I’ll help you.” He offers his hand. You grab it softly, swooning at the way it encompasses your own. There’s something inside of him that doesn’t even want you to risk walking on this floor but of course he also doesn’t want to push. 

“Okay nice and slow.” You’re not even taking full steps, just small slides. You clutch his hand for dear life and he loves it. 

“Good girl.” He says once you reach the door of his truck which he opens for you. He doesn’t let go till you sit inside then only does he slip his hand from your warm one and closes the door. 

“Which pub?” You ask as he turns on the heater only for your sake.

“The one downtown near the little Italian grocer.” You know exactly which one he’s talking about. Its dim light atmosphere is cozy but fun but usually full of mainly couples.

“Mkay.” You say looking out the window at the gloomy sky realizing it just might rain. 

He glances your way during the small drive, your scent of your floral perfume mixed with his of cardamom and musk is quite perfect. 

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah, just comfy, you?” He grins at your response.

“Never been better.”

He pulls into one of the street parking spots and despite the weather the streets are full, he gets out to put coins inside the slot for time before heading to your side of the car. 

“Wait, I'm scared.” You say realizing that the distance to the bar doesn’t seem to be a survivable one. 

“Come on, I'll hold your hand.”

“I’ll fall regardless.”

“Want me to carry you?” He genuinely offers.

“What?” You laugh. 

“Doll I’m very serious I will carry you, just get on my back.”

“What if we both fall?” 

“I’m not falling, trust me.” He says turning around motions for you to get on his back.

“Okay then.” You hook your legs around his upper waist and his arms reach to tuck themselves firmly beneath your knees.

“Comfortable?” He asks. He’s sure you can hear his heart racing from the proximity you’re in. 

“Very.” All your dreams of climbing this man have come true. 

You shut the door as he steps onto the sidewalk. You tuck your chin in by his neck for warmth. He smells woodsy with a hint of musk, it makes your head spin.

“How are you not slipping?” You say very suspicious.

“Doll I could run on this floor with these boots on.” He answers looking slightly over his shoulder at you.

“Well don’t.” You say seriously and he laughs as he approaches the bar, opening the door and setting you softly on the floor. 

He finds you both a booth in the corner and sits on the side where he can see the entire bar, very John of John.

“What do you drink?” He asks, trying to make conversation. Suddenly the air feels very intimate, almost too intimate for what he considers his old man heart.

“When I’m out, martinis.” 

“Espresso?” 

“Mhmm.” You’re trying your hardest to hold the eye contact he’s giving you but something about the blue in his eyes and creases on the side of them has you breaking it quicker than it started.

“I’ll be back then.” He says sliding out of the booth feeling slightly accomplished.

You sit there looking at the lively pub, how many romances are at their peak here, how many friends are having the best night of their lives, how you amongst them are finally feeling like you again. 

“Here we are.” He says returning with two glasses, his is a classic bourbon with a square ice cube in the glass.

“Thankyou.” You say as he slides it over to you.

“So what’d you do while I was gone, other than be reckless and build furniture.” He asks as you sip from your glass.

“I did lots of hair, painted a bit, found new color schemes for decor and that’s kinda it, I’d ask you the same question but I fear you can’t answer.” 

“Your fears are true.”

“That Kate woman, she's very pretty.” Are you a little jealous?

“Yeah she’s also very married.” He says it like he doesn’t know what you're on about.

“And also not into men.” You nearly choke on your drink and swallow hard to get it down.

“Well I was just saying.” Sure you were.

You two have small chatter as you go through drinks. You tried to offer the second round but John said no for you to just stay in your seat. He came back with thirds and you definitely were starting to feel the effects of the previous two, him though not at all.

“So you’re telling me John you as very um good looking as you are haven’t had a girlfriend in how long?” 

“Eight years.” He says while being very amused with your light hearted, open attitude.

“That’s just not right.”

“No?” 

“No, personally, well never mind.” You’re not drunk enough to say what you were about too.

“What about you, why no boyfriends?” 

“I’m very, I would say needy I guess clingy even, I’m a double texter, someone who worries and loves too much and I think that can be overwhelming for a lot of people.” You admit.

“Don’t believe that.” He says, sounding a little annoyed.

“For the right person you could never be overwhelming.” He says looking at you intensely and this time you can’t seem to look away.

Once your third drink is finished it’s raining outside and you’re words away from trouble.

“John?” 

“Yeah doll.”

“You make me feel alive again.” You admit, the alcohol has casted a pretty shade of pink on your cheeks as you lean your head on your hand and John doesn’t think he’s ever been more entranced. 

“You and me both, here drink some water.” He slides it to you. You’re sweet, too sweet. He feels like if he touches you physically or emotionally he’d be tainting art.

“Has anyone told you you're very climbable?” 

“It’s time for us to get going, you're quite the light weight.” He laughs offering you a hand as you slide off the booth.

He leaves a tip on the table before walking with you to the door. He has to bend far more than he normally would for you to secure yourself on his back before he’s walking outside. This time he’s walking faster because of the rain droplets that are falling hard. He seats you in the car and reaches across you to buckle you in before heading to his side. 

The drive home is pretty quiet, he drives extra slowly because of the precious cargo he carries. Once he pulls back into the gravelly drive way you unbuckle and open the door as he puts the car in park. 

“You don’t want to wait for me.” He asks, a little concerned.

“I got this.” You hop out of the elevated truck immediately slipping and having to grab onto the door. He walks quickly to your side laughing at the expression on your face.

“You sure do.” He says as he grabs your arm

“Oh stop it.” You say accepting the help, sliding your feet on the ice again till you get to the door. Once you get inside you groan into the toasty air. 

“Thankyou for tonight John.” You say facing him once you kick your boots off. You hadn’t realized how close you were till you turned around and could feel the heat radiating off of him and smell the bourbon on his breath. 

“No, thank you.” He says feeling awfully captivated, hanging onto your every move. You cup his face and stand on your tippy toes, boldly yet slowly placing a kiss on the corner of his lips. 

He’s starstruck. Absolutely dazed at the look of mischief in your eyes, something that tells him you know exactly what you’re doing to him. 

“Goodnight John.” You say patting his chest and walking down towards your room.

—————

I couldn't wait till tommorrow i'm sorry.

comments and reposts are greatly appreciated:)

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[sidsinning]

I heard this reason a lot surrounding the controversies of Turning Red too

Just bc a movie is not relatable to you doesn't mean it's a bad movie

I can't relate to Saving Private Ryan, The Godfather, Star Wars, Ratatouille, Grave of the Fireflies, etc.

The level of quality and enjoyment of these films have never depended on the relatability to the viewer

Why is it that when Turning Red uses girly topics like boy bands, celebrity crushes, period jokes, etc.- it becomes a turn off bc of relatability making the actual message and themes of the story obsolete?

All you need to do is understand those are things Mei's mother won't approve of that Mei really cares about, which is where her small rebellion begins, where her desire for independence starts to manifest

Bc what the movie is actually about is dysfunctional family relationships and trying to find your own path while still trying to make your parents proud, trying to fulfill their perfect expectations and not breaking that perception of you.

How is all that being overshadowed bc of girly things the characters like like what

In the end, are those themes too unrelatable as well? You couldn't care for Miles in Spiderverse bc he had high expectations from his family too? Did you not connect with Spiderverse if you weren't a super smart artistic kid?

[muchosbesitos]

powerless part 2

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: pre-spider society miguel, jealous reader 🫣, smut, mutual masturbation, unprotected p in v

author’s note: sry i took a lil break, i had a bit of a writer’s block when it came to this part 🫡 part no one rly asked for but i hope you all enjoy nonetheless

word count: 4k

powerless part one 

You and Miguel had been dancing around that line between being friends and being something more for the past few weeks. You could forgive him for that given the fact that he's been busy with a new prototype at Alchemax and he's been out saving the city. Your friends had stopped speaking to you after what happened, immediately choosing to side with Krystal despite them telling you that they'd never pick a side beforehand. You tried to keep your mind busy, to fill in the void with empty projects and your work, but nothing seemed to satisfy you.

You were in the middle of cooking up something for dinner when you heard a knock on your window, noticing Miguel leaning against it. You opened it up, noticing that it was starting to rain outside. "What is with you coming to my place whenever it's raining?" You asked him with a small giggle, stepping back to let him come inside. He pulled away the mask and only then did you notice the pained expression on his face, your eyes drifting down to the gash on his abdomen. You laughter died off and you helped him lay down on the couch, going to your bathroom to get something to clean him up with.

You poured some rubbing alcohol into a rag, starting to clean up the wound and blood surrounding it. Miguel let out a hiss as the alcohol seeped through the wound, stinging him and you shot him an apologetic look as you continued to clean him up. "How'd it happen?" You asked him once the blood stopped, stepping back to give him some space as he healed. "Just a fight with Doc Ock, the usual," he responded, his breath shallow. "Feel free to use the shower whenever you're ready," you told him, going back to the kitchen to make sure the food didn't burn.

He came back a little while after taking a shower, smelling like your body soap and he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind as you were just finishing up the meal. "What are you making, hermosa?" He asked you, his words coming out muffled given that he'd buried his face in the crook of your neck. "I watched Ratatouille the other day so I decided to try out the dish. Turns out, it's not as easy as the stupid rat makes it seem but I don't think it looks too bad," you respond and he looked over your shoulder at the food baking. "I'm sure it's delicious, little chef."

"Oh come on! It's not that bad," you protested as Miguel spat out the first bite he'd taken of the food. "No, no. It's just.. too much for my taste buds to handle, y'know? It's just so good that I can't contain it," he responded, avoiding eye contact with you as he spoke. You rolled your eyes, putting a piece of eggplant in your mouth just to prove a point to him. You quickly spat it out, taking a sip of water to wash down the taste. You look up to see Miguel looking at you with a small smirk on his face, like he was daring you to try and defend the dish. "Alright, come on. I’ll help you make it again," he told you, gesturing you to join him in the kitchen as he stood up.

You began chopping up the eggplants while Miguel chopped up the onions, claiming that he wouldn't cry because of them. A couple seconds pass before you pick up sounds of him sniffling as he's cutting, though he did pretty well at masking it. You opened up the faucet next to him, a trick that your mom had taught you as his sniffling started to stop. "Thanks," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed and you go back to chopping the vegetable. "Why do these things have to be so big?" you whined as you cut the pieces into thin slices. "I'd say my eggplant's bigger," he responded, laughing at his own joke.

"Miguel?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Never say that again."

"Yes ma'am."

Eventually after a series of jokes and chopping up vegetables, the two of you were waiting for the dish to finish up. You were setting up the table while he was responsible for making sure that it didn't end up slightly burned like last time, his attention solely on the oven. The two of you sat to eat and he began telling you about his day, how he'd basically swung around the entirety of Nueva York. "How about you? Have your 'friends' called you?" He asked, putting the word in quotation marks as he rolled his eyes. "No, they haven't. Probably still pissed off that I won't apologize to them for pursuing something with you," you responded as you were finishing up with your food, taking a sip from your drink. "I know you didn't ask for my two cents, but if they were okay losing you in the first place then maybe they're not your friends."

A couple of days passed by before you had the opportunity to see Miguel again. He'd texted you early enough in the day to tell you that he would be taking you out tonight, to dress up in something nice. You headed out to the mall in hopes to find something adequate to wear, since most of your clothes weren't suitable for going to nice places. You were walking around the mall for some short time while you stumbled on your group of friends giggling and talking amongst themselves. You were planning on ignoring them, but your plans were quickly changed when one of them called you over.

Your throat bobbed as you walked over to them, trying to see what they wanted from you. "All you have to do is apologize to Krystal and we'll let you back in our group," one of them told you and you couldn't help it anymore. "Why not ask Krystal to apologize for the way that she treated me? For the way that she treated all of you? You all defend her actions but the only reason that she pursues the men she does is because someone else has interest in them," you respond and you could tell that their patience was running thin. "Either you apologize to Krystal right now or you're dropped from the group," the same one told you, her eyes boring into you.

You looked at the satisfied look on Krystal’s face and decided that it wasn't worth it anymore. "I'm sorry for sending you that picture, it was really petty of me. But I'm not apologizing for pursuing something with Miguel," you spoke to Krystal, looking at her directly as she scrambled to look upset when all eyes turned to her. "And as for the group, you can drop me. You're all hypocrites, getting pissed off when someone does something wrong but being perfectly okay when Krystal does it. She's not even supposed to be in this group, the only reason she's in it is because her sister wanted us to pity her," you finished off, not caring if you went too far and walked away.

Though the memories that you shared with your friends was something that you would miss, you felt a sense of relief at finally letting them go. You walked into a couple other stores and ended up buying a new dress and a set of lingerie just in case. When you got home, you decided to do something you'd been meaning to do for quite some time now since you were running on that 'high' of how good it felt to defend yourself. You grabbed your name tag and apron and took the train to the restaurant you worked at, confident in the decision that you were taking.

You walked to the back of the restaurant and sat down while you waited for the boss to come in. "What are you doing here? You have the day off today," your boss told you once he stepped inside the office, sitting down behind his desk. "I wanted to tell you that i'm quitting. I appreciate the opportunity that you gave me but I don't think this place fits my needs anymore," you told him, handing over your stuff. He shrugged and gave you your last paycheck before you were dismissed out of his office. You were thankful that the exchange had gone fairly well since your boss wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to work with.

You got ready for your date with Miguel as soon as you got back home, a little giddy as you took a shower. You couldn't help but wonder if this was the date where he'd make things official, to ask you if you wanted to be his girlfriend. On another part, you couldn't help but think if he was just taking you someplace nice to break up with you so it wouldn't hurt as bad. You decided to just go along with the flow and brush those thoughts out of your head. You finished up just in time, your doorbell ringing as you put the finishing touches on your outfit.

"Wow, chaparra. you look.. phenomenal," he told you as soon as you opened the door, butterflies taking flight in your stomach. You stepped aside to let him come inside and he handed you a bouquet of flowers. You thanked him and went to go set them in a vase, putting them down on your dining table. "Ready?" He asked you once you finished up and you nodded, grabbing his hand as he led you out. You locked up behind you and the two of you headed to the date he had planned out.

He ended up taking to you to the art museum and you had a suspicion that it'd been because you mentioned that you wanted to go. "So, how was your day today?" He asked you, holding your hand as the two of you started to walk around the museum. You told him what happened today and you expected him to call you out for quitting your job, but he did no such thing. "I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself. You've been miserable at that job for months," he told you, stroking your hand as he walked next to you.

Though he protested some, he still let you take some pictures of him with the paintings. You had to step back a couple feet just to capture his entire frame and he couldn't help but laugh at the distance that you'd created. He took some pictures of you as well, capturing you in the frame perfectly. "Y'know if this whole Alchemax thing doesn't work out, you should be a photographer," you told him as the two of you walked through the exhibits. "With all the technology available, you seriously think there's a need for photographers?" He asked you, looking down at you as he held your hand. "Well, just because it's available doesn't mean that everyone knows how to work it," you responded with a small shrug. “Touché."

He ended up taking you to dinner after the two of you finished walking through the museum, taking you to a nice area of town. "Hi, what would you like to order today?" The waitress asked, facing Miguel as she placed her manicured hand on his shoulder. You had to restrain yourself from saying something to her especially given the fact that Miguel wasn't committed to you yet, but you couldn't help the jealousy brewing in your stomach. "I'll have a medium rare steak with a side of rice, please. And a coke," he ordered and the waitress scrambled to write it down on her notepad. She started to walk away, not paying any mind to you until Miguel called for her to come back.

"What do you want?" She asked you, the annoyance on her face evident as she looked at you. "I'll have a shrimp alfredo with a coke, please," you told her, trying to remain polite. "Are you sure you don't want a salad? You look like you could benefit from it," she responded, letting out a laugh at her own joke. You bit the inside of your cheek as you looked up at her, still trying to restrain yourself. “No, what I ordered will be fine," you told her through gritted teeth, clenching your fists together.

Though you were aware of the struggles that waitresses went through as a previous one yourself, you felt no sympathy towards that woman with the way she acted towards you. The worst part about it was that Miguel seemed to be oblivious to the way that she acted around him, making a point to come to the table every 3-5 minutes to check up on him or see if he needed anything. He noticed the expression on your face and his brows furrowed, his hands holding yours now. "What's wrong?" He asked you, his eyes trying to read you properly. "That waitress keeps flirting with you and you don't even realize it. And the worst part about this whole thing is that I can't even be jealous because you're not even official with me," you told him, letting go of his hands as the waitress came back with the food.

The rest of the dinner was a bit awkward, with some minor conversation about how the food was. Though, you could appreciate that Miguel told the waitress that he wasn’t interested. He escorted you home and he lingered for a couple seconds in front of your door, his hand not letting go of yours. "I was gonna ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend today. Not because of what happened at the restaurant or anything, but because I can't think of wanting to be with anyone else other than you. I’m sorry if you didn't really feel that way," he spoke up after a while of silence and you turned to look at him, feeling guilty for snapping at him during dinner. "I'm sorry if I ruined dinner, I didn't mean to. I was just.. confused about where we going in this whole thing," you told him, rubbing his hand reassuringly.

"So, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked you, a little smile appearing on his face. "The answer was always yes, idiot," you mumbled, holding on to his shoulders for support as you kissed him. You opened up the door to your apartment and led him inside, thankful to the gods that you'd cleaned up the apartment and bought that new set of lingerie. He closed the door with his foot as he kissed you, locking the door with the best of his ability before he hoisted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he led you to your bedroom, your lips intertwined on the way there.

He placed you down on the bed, hovering above you as the two of you continued to kiss, your hands intertwined in his soft curls while his rested on your hips. He slowly pulled the dress down, his eyes widening a bit as he saw the lingerie you were waiting. "Should've skipped dinner and just went straight to dessert," he mumbled, his lips running through your neck as he kissed it. He bit down on some spots, careful not to inject you with any of his venom as he left some marks on you. "Just in case you're ever confused about who you belong to again."

He stripped off his clothes and sat down next to you, spreading your legs so he'd get easy access to your wet cunt. He brought up a finger to your lips, tapping on your bottom one so you'd open up. You wrapped your mouth around his finger, looking at his eyes as you coated it with your saliva. He pulled away and ran that finger down your folds, collecting extra slick. He pushed the tip of his finger inside, teasing you as he pushed it and out slowly. You let out a small whine for him to do something more but you only received a laugh in response. "Use your words," he cooed, his thumb gently pressing against your clit. "Please," you begged, looking up at him with your best 'fuck me' eyes.

"Please what?"

"Please use your fingers."

"Is that not what I'm doing?"

You wanted to let out a whine at his relentless teasing, the words in your mind turning to mush already from how needy you were. "Please fuck me with your fingers," you managed to tell him and he kissed your forehead. "You should've just said so," he responded condescendingly, stretching your cunt out with this one finger. Your hand wrapped around his cock, collecting some of the precum that was leaking out and lathered it all over the shaft. You kept a steady pace as you tightened your hand around him, just enough to simulate the feeling of your cunt. Your hips began to ride Miguel’s finger, your cunt eager to receive some sort of friction. He let out a moan as you cupped his balls with your other hand, your thrusts never halting.

Miguel’s palm worked up against your clit, providing you with stimulation as he pushed another finger inside of your cunt. Your walls clenched around his fingers, a tight grip around them as he moved them in and out. You curled your toes as you felt his thumb rub small circles on your clit, the sensation filling your veins with need. Your mouth was parted as you begged him to keep going, your moans filling up the room. You gripped his forearm as you came, your vision spotting as your juices coated his fingers. He brought his fingers up to his lips, sucking your juices off like you were the finest nectar.

You used both your hands to jerk Miguel off now, a tight grip on his shaft as you moved your hands up and down. He let out a small hiss as you brushed up against his tip, being a little sensitive there. You brought your mouth down to it, swirling your tongue as your hands worked to get him to that climax. He held your head in place as spurts of cum flew in your mouth, your cheeks hollowing to receive everything that he would give you. You eagerly swallowed down his cum and he pulled you in for a kiss, the taste of you and him combined overwhelming your senses.

He laid you down on the bed and kissed down your body, leaving small marks on your breasts and your stomach before he sat up. He gave his cock a couple pumps before he kneeled closer to you, placing just the tip in. You let out a small grunt as your walls fluttered, trying to accommodate to his size. "Hey, calm down. Take a couple deep breaths for me and try to relax," he tried to reassure you, his hands rubbing small circles on your thighs. You nodded and began to focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly. You did this a couple more times until you felt relaxed, gesturing Miguel to move afterwards.

He pushed the rest of his cock in one swift motion, giving you some time to adjust to the stretch. "You're so good taking me like this, mi vida. We have all night, there's no pressure," he whispered, leaning into give your neck a couple kisses. You did the same thing as last time, focusing on your breathing rather than the stinging between your legs before it started to morph into pleasure. You nodded and looked over at Miguel, and he started to slowly move his cock out of you. He started off slow, giving you plenty of time to adjust as you found necessary.

"You can speed up," you told him and he complied, his thrusts getting faster and deeper the more your cunt swallowed him up. Your hands went to his back, scratching him as he thrusted deep into you. He leaned over, attaching his mouth to one of your nipples as he ran his mouth on the neglected bud. You couldn't help but moan at just how stimulated you felt, your hand reaching down to rub circles on your clit. He swatted your hand away and replaced your hand with his own, his mouth moving to the other breast. "You just lay there and take it, baby. I’ll do all the work," he mumbled, his heavy balls slapping against your ass as he sped up.

One of the ridges of his cock brushed up against your g-spot as his thrusts got deeper and you gripped his shoulders tightly. He took that as an indication and adjusted the angle so that his cock would brush up against the gummy spot with every stroke that he took. His thumb worked on rubbing quick circles on your clit and you felt that knot inside of you tightening up, threatening to snap loose at any time. "That's my girl. taking it so well," he told you and you came with a moan of his name, your nails digging into his shoulders as you did. You could hear a squelch with each thrust that he took as he chased his own orgasm, his thrusts getting sloppy quick. You looked up to see his blood-red eyes already looking at you and you brought him in for a kiss.

He came as soon as your lips came in contact with his, overwhelmed by everything around him. He managed to pull out in time and his cum was leaking onto your stomach. You picked some of it up with your pointer finger, licking it clean as you looked directly at him. He kissed you as you did, the taste of him and his essence intoxicating. He pulled out of your cunt slowly and walked to the bathroom, bringing a small towel to clean you up. He led you to the shower and lathered you up with soap, going for another round after he saw how eager you were to take him.

You woke up the next morning and frowned upon not seeing him there next to you, not expecting him to leave in the middle of the night. You got up and walked to the kitchen, seeing your boyfriend cooking breakfast in the kitchen. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" He asked when he turned to look at you, his hair sticking up in all directions. "No, I just thought you left," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes as you took in the sight. Miguel had stayed and he was dancing to a bachata song playing in the radio as he cooked breakfast. "I'd never leave you, mi amor. Breakfast's almost done, just sit there and wait," he told you, kissing your forehead.

He ended up making huevos rancheros for the both of you along with some fresh coffee. "Did you mop?" You asked, looking up at him as the smell of lavender Fabuloso filled your nostrils. "I did, yeah. I accidentally spilled some of the milk," he responded, taking a bite out of his eggs. The two of you ate in comfortable silence for a couple minutes before he spoke up. "Did you like last night? Is there something you'd like me to improve on?" He asked you, taking a sip from his coffee. "No, it was good. I liked it. You were attentive to my needs and everything," you assured him, finishing up with your food a couple seconds later.

He ended up calling sick to work that day and spent the day with you in your apartment. He sat down with you on the couch as he looked through job postings with you, his arm wrapped around your shoulder. "You're too smart for another waitressing job. You didn't get a college degree to settle for less. Choose something that's gonna make you happy," he told you as your fingers hovered through a restaurant gig. "But what if I'm not good enough?" You asked him, still stuck in that bubble of wanting to do something familiar. "You're going to be more than good enough. And if one job doesn't like you, then there are more jobs out there," he responded, kissing the top of your head.

"Miguel?"

"Yeah, chaparra?"

"Te amo." (i love you)

"Y yo también te amo." (and i love you too)

@skulfan1

[blackbirdi]

Game Night (Not a Good Idea)

Brief Description: Things heard during Wayne family game night.

Point of View: 3rd Person

Word Count: 1334

Character: Batfam x platonic!Reader

Every Sunday Bruce tries to get all his kids (whether adopted or not) back to the manor for supper and a game night. And while some of the time the games are fun and a bonding moment for everyone, most of the time it's a battleground.

Things said playing: Super Smash Bros

A very pissed off Timothy Drake: DAMIAN! I AM ON YOUR TEAM; STOP PUSHING ME OFF!

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A frustrated Stephanie Brown: DODGE IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Y/n L/n: *Playing the game for the first time in years* I don't know the controls...

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Jason Todd throwing his controller against the wall after his team lost for the seventh time in a row: THIS IS BULLSHIT!

***

Things said playing: Twister

A defeated before the game even begins Duke Thomas: No. Straight up, no. We all know Dick's going to win; what's the point in even playing?

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A very flexible and cocky Dick Grayson: What do you mean you can't reach the green circle? It's literally so easy!

Jason: *His eye twitching* Kill yourself.

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A tired of the complaining, Bruce Wayne: Dick, you're not playing this round.

Dick, heartbroken: What? Why?

The rest of the Batkids: *Cheering*

***

Things said playing: Jenga

Damian Wayne, who just knocked the tower over: DRAKE BUMPED INTO ME! HE MADE ME KNOCK IT OVER JUST SO I WOULD LOSE!

Tim, who is sitting over ten feet from him: What? No, I didn't.

Damian: YES, YOU DID!

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A very confused and slightly disappointed Barbara Gordon: Why did you choose that one?

Y/n, who chose the most difficult one to remove: *Practically in tears* I DON'T KNOW!

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Anyone after knocking the tower over: I fucking hate this game.

***

Things said playing: Among Us

*While they're waiting in the lobby (the game hasn't even begun)*

Tim: It's Damian.

Damian: Fuck you.

–––––––––––

Bruce, after being the first killed for the fifth time in a row: Do you hate me that much?

Steph (a crewmate): *Walking past Bruce's body and not reporting it* Yes.

Babs (a crewmate), who people are now suspecting: You're not supposed to give any hints that you got killed, Bruce.

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*Y/n and Cass being revealed as the imposters*

The Batfamily after being positive that Y/n and Cass were the only ones who weren't the imposters (other than those murdered): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE THE IMPOSTER?

Y/n and Cass: *Cackling*

***

Things said playing: Charades

Jason, after they ran out of time and didn't guess it: *Looking at the card* What you acted out was not fucking Ratatouille.

Damian, who was very much not doing anything to hint towards Ratatouille: YES, IT WAS!

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Babs after picking up the most complicated things possible to act out: What the fuck is this?

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Bruce: I burned the zombie card by the way.

Jason, Tim, Steph, Damian, and Y/n: *Groaning in disappointment*

***

Things said playing: Just Dance

Cass: *Doing everything perfectly*

Everyone else: How the fuck are you doing that?

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Cass: *Giggling* What are you doing?

Y/n: I don't fucking know.

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Tim: HOW DID DUKE GET SECOND!?

Duke: I am the epitome of a graceful dancer, Tim. *Proceeds to trip over the coffee table and land flat on his face*

***

Things said playing: Any game involving riddles

Any of the Batkids: I CALL DUKE/STEPH!

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Bruce: *Reading a riddle that was writing in Shakespearean (ye old English)*

All of the Batkids: w h a t

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Duke/Steph: I'm telling you, it's *correct answer*

Jason: No, it's not. It's *very much the wrong answer*

Duke/Steph, feeling petty: Fine, we'll go with *Jason's answer*

Bruce: It's *the answer Duke/Steph originally had*

Duke/Steph: *Waiting for Jason to admit they were right*

Jason:

Jason, who refuses to take the blame: Jeez, you're terrible at this game.

***

Things said playing: Spoons

(if you don't know what Spoons is, search it up because I don't know how to describe it, but it is the most fun game ever and you're missing out.)

Y/n: *Holding onto the spoon like her life depends on it* YOU CAN'T GRAB IT FROM ME! IT'S ALREADY IN MY HAND!

Steph: *Clawing at Y/n's hand* GIVE IT HERE!

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Dick: *Cradling his hand* I think Jason broke my hand.

Jason, with the most "I don't give a shit" voice ever: Damn. That sucks.

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All the Batkids at one point: *Quite literally throwing themselves across the table to grab the last spoon*

Bruce: *Tired Dad SighTM*

***

Things said playing: Monopoly

Jason, who owns all but one railroad: I swear to God, Tim, if you land on the last railroad and buy it...

Tim, lands on the last rail road: *Buys it*

Jason: *Lunges across the table to strangle him*

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Y/n, after buying Park Place a while ago: *Lands on Boardwalk* You bitches are about to be financially murdered.

–––––––––––

*After red hotels have been added to over half the board, and there are at least two green houses on every spot*

Duke: Can I just stay in jail?

***

Things said playing: Uno

Cass: Uno!

Steph: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Tim: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Y/n: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Jason: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Duke: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Dick: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Damian: *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Babs: Sorry, Cass *Places Pick Up 4 card*

Cass:

Cass, trying not to fucking snap: You guys fucking suck.

(I'm sobbing. She's picking up 28 cards. NOOO, CASS)

–––––––––––

*It's down to just Tim and Damian; the others have all gotten rid of their cards*

Tim, after being skipped for the fifth time in a row: *Near tears* HOW MANY FUCKING SKIP CARDS DO YOU HAVE?

Damian: *Placing another one down* Yes.

–––––––––––

*Whenever someone wins*

The rest of the Batkids: *Starts a fist fight*

*Cue Uno getting banned from being played at a Game Night.*

***

Things said playing: Mario Kart

Babs, throwing a green shell: *Bounces off the wall and hits her instead of the person ahead of her* I'm going to kill someone.

–––––––––––

Dick: *Picks Rainbow Road*

The rest of the Batkids: Fuck you.

–––––––––––

Cass, before they start playing: Oh, I suck at this game.

Cass: *Wins over half the races*

–––––––––––

Jason: DID YOU JUST FUCKING BLUE SHELL ME!?

Y/n: Yup.

Jason: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO WIN!

Y/n: That's why I did it.

–––––––––––

Steph: *Getting pissed that she got 2nd*

Bruce: *Trying to console her* It's fine, Steph. It's just a game.

Steph: JUST A GAME!? JUST A GAME, HUH!? THEN YOU FUCKING PLAY IT, BRUCE!

Bruce: *Too scared to play with his kids because of how angry he's been seeing them getting* No.

Steph: That's what I fucking thought.

–––––––––––

Y/n, after being hit by Jason's red shell for the third time in a row: *Throwing the controller at Jason* I'M DONE! I'M FUCKING DONE!

Jason: *Cackles*

–––––––––––

Tim: *Looking at someone else's screen and not realizing it* I am so good at this.

*His character is actually continuously hitting a wall*

–––––––––––

Duke: *Gets a blue shell* It's over for you, Cass!

Damian: *Uses Thunderbolt, thus getting rid of Duke's blue shell before he can use it*

*Duke, trying to stop himself from attacking Damian*

–––––––––––

Damian: *About to get first place* And victory is–

Duke: *Blue shells him* That's what you get, you little bastard.

*Damian proceeds to literally bite Duke*

––––––––––

*Bruce, trying to ban Mario Kart from Game Night*

All the Batkids: BOO! I'm not coming back if you do.

*Mario Kart has not been banned*

***

Bonus! (Involves only Babs, Dick, Jason, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Y/n)

Things said playing: Cards Against Humanity

Y/n, holding the prompt for this round: *Looking at the responses the rest gave her* You all are fucking terrible human beings.

Babs: It's a damn game, Y/n. No one actually meant it.

Dick: Hey! My card was not that bad!

Cass: Come on, it's funny!

Jason: Yes.

Steph: Thank you.

Tim: You're one to talk.

[tarotwithlove]

PAC ⭒ how to impress the person on your mind?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · knight of cups, ace of wands, two of pentacles, the emperor, six of swords.

channelled songs · fast car by tracy chapman. bring the noize by nct 127. blood // water - awolnation remix by grandson. we raise our cups by hadestown original broadway company.

my dear group one ♡ the way to impress the person on your mind -- in fact, the way to their heart -- is through poetry and the arts.

in one way, this is through you expressing your interests in the poetry, books, film, and other forms of art that your person likes. asking them about the book they’re reading, or the movie they have on their shirt, or the anime pins they have on their backpack -- etcetera. art -- or a specific piece of media -- is important to your person, and they enjoy talking about it. your person will be impressed by you if you show genuine interest in the art they like and have a genuine conversation with them about it.

for example: you say, “oh, by the way i’ve started watching that series you like!” and they’ll immediately be excited and jump into asking you questions like, “what did you think about such and such? and just wait until you meet so and so!”

they will be impressed by how serious you take their recommendations. they will be impressed by your intellectual insights on the piece of art they recommended. and will also take this as an opportunity to find out more about what you like. to check out the art, or specific piece of media, that you like.

GROUP TWO

cards · eight of cups, seven of wands, queen of cups, four of swords, five of pentacles.

channelled songs · i only wanted by mariah carey. green candle music by bbymutha. jolene by beyoncé. stranger by gaidaa, saba, jarreau vandal.

my dear group two ♡ there is honestly not that much you can do to impress the person on your mind.

this is either because they are not that interested in you, and, thus, will not be impressed by anything you try do, or they are simply easily impressed.

the food critic from ratatouille suddenly comes to mind. this man is quite dour and cuts a quite opposing figure. he is known to be a harsh critic and, thus, people are equal parts terrified and excited for him to visit their restaurants. a good review from him is rare, and little to nothing impresses him, except for that one specific meal made the specific way his mother made it.

your person is kind of like this. nothing truly impresses them. in some ways, they have been jaded, but it may be more so that they do not care about things like that. and that they lose respect for people who try hard to impress others instead of being authentic to themselves.

if you do anything with the sole intent to impress your person they would actually only lose respect for you. they would think of you as a poser. so just be your authentic self!

GROUP THREE

cards · queen of swords, page of swords, four of pentacles, king of pentacles, king of wands.

channelled songs · monotonia b shakira & ozuna. crazy abot you by barbatos (va: masayuki harada). dead man walking by brent faiyaz. campfire by red velvet.

my dear group three ♡ focus on yourself! stop focusing on this person! your guides are basically screaming this at you. you need to stop putting this person on the pedestal and going out of your way to try and impress them.

the only person you should be putting on the pedestal is yourself. the only person you should be trying to impress is yourself.

whether this person is impressed by you or not doesn’t matter! are you impressed by you? are you constantly doing things to do better? be better? get stronger, or greater, or more efficient? are you constantly trying to improve? are you constantly putting yourself outside your comfort zone and finding ways to make yourself proud? are you constantly trying to surpass yourself? are you?!? well you should be!!

you should be more focused on making yourself proud. on doing things that make you, “i impress myself, i amaze myself.”

how impressed you are with yourself is far more important than how impressed this person is with you.

stop curating your life to impress others -- especially not to curate this specific person on your mind -- just be natural and live true to yourself. this is how you will leave your mark. this is how the right people will, of course, be impressed.

GROUP FOUR

cards · the lovers, five of cups, ten of pentacles, nine of cups, seven of cups.

channelled songs · born to die by lana del rey. dna by kendrick lamar. lover for life by whitney houston. wwe by omega sapien & abdu ali.

hey there group four ♡ this message is going to be super short because the person on your mind is completely enamoured by you! honestly, you could do absolutely anything and they would be impressed by it.

they are honestly quite lovesick. quite smitten with you. especially for those of you who have been together for some time already.

you could show them how much you saved while grocery shopping and they would be as impressed as if you had turned straw into gold.

if you want to impress them some more though try and learn to do something out of the ordinary, like learning to juggle or walk on stilts! your person will find this so so fascinating and may even want to learn along with you.

[rcsewcrld]

incorrect quotes w y/n + the wednesday gang !

y/n: Made you all playlists!  y/n: tyler, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.  y/n: xavier, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.  y/n: And ajax has the ABBA Gold album. 

y/n: That's ridiculous, ajax doesn't have a crush on me.  xavier: Yes he does. tyler: Yes he does. ajax: Yes I do. 

y/n: What is love?  tyler: An emotional minefield.  xavier: A neurochemical reaction.  ajax: Baby don't hurt me. 

tyler: We call that a traumatic experience.  tyler, turning to ajax: Not a "bruh moment".  tyler, turning to y/n: Not "sadge".  tyler, turning to xavier: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO". 

xavier: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?  tyler: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. xavier: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.  tyler: But I heard a siren.  y/n: That was ajax.  ajax: Sorry, I got nervous. 

y/n: I told wednesday that her ears turn red when she lies. enid: Do they?  y/n: No.  enid: Then why did you tell her that? y/n: Because I can do this.  y/n: Hey wednesday! Do you love us?  wednesday, with her hands over her ears: No. 

yoko: A mouse!  ajax, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.  divina , pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!  bianca, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.  y/n, gasping: It's Ratatouille!  xavier: His name is Remi, dummy.  yoko: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people. 

divina : If you got arrested what would be the charges? ajax: Theft.  bianca: Disturbing the peace.  xavier: Aggravated assault.  yoko: Arson.  y/n: All of the above. In that order, probably. 

y/n : Don't go to the kitchen.  tyler: Why?  y/n : I saw a spider.  tyler: Well, did you kill it?  y/n : It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair... 

y/n : Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?  xavier: It’s just you. 

y/n : The first time ajax opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!" 

merry christmas eve!! 🫶

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 4

-> Part 1

-> Part 3

-> Part 5

Crepus, true to your initial assumptions of him being sunshine personified, very enthusiastically invited you over for tea once everything in the caravan was cleaned up, the wounded were attended to and the Knights of Favonius reluctantly went on their way.

And by tea, he meant dinner.

And by dinner, he meant a feast that could easily feed an army.

Truly, the Ragnvindr were rich beyond comprehension. Whatever the heart desired, it was at the table. Northern Apple Stew, Northern Smoked Chicken, Sweet Madame, Flaming Red Bolognese, Barbatos Ratatouille, Calla Lily Seafood Soup, Crem Stew, Cold Cut Platter, Satisfying Salad, Sticky Honey Roast -- all alongside many dishes you knew for a fact weren't in the game at all (there was something ravioli-adjacent, a plate of potatoes with seasonings, some dumplings, small snacks, sweet desserts and you even spied something that looked suspiciously like Meringue and was that Tofu? wasn't Tofu Liyuen?), with Apple Cider, Water, tea and a lot of fancy wine (couldn't do without wine at a winery, after all) to serve as drinks.

You had no idea how you were meant to eat so much, or how to even attempt to taste a little bit of everything without your stomach protesting. Did rich people train themselves into having a bottomless stomach so that they could eat what they were given without offending anyone?

"So, (Name)," Crepus began, fancily sipping at his fancy glass of fancy wine, "How come you and your... Friend, arrived at just the precise time to prevent any serious harm? Surely it wasn't a coincidence?"

He chuckled good-naturely as he twirled his wine in circles.

Look at Crepus, digging into the matter without sounding accusatory or condescending! In fact, he sounded eager. You could almost imagine the wagging tail and perked up ears.

Suddenly, you realized who exactly Kaeya took after in his habit of talking circles around people on a daily basis. Not entirely of course -- where Kaeya was smug and suave, Crepus was a giant fluffy friend that had you wrapped around its' paw, because how could you possibly say no to that face? You wouldn't hide anything from a friend, would you? You wouldn't, it was a friend after all, you were so comfortable around him for a reason, there was no need for suspicion and paranoia around sweet old Crepus!

You heard of people weaponizing stupidity, but weaponizing your gold-lab-like personality? That was a first and you clearly met a master of the craft.

"It's a coincidence. Dvalin took me flying every day for the past week. He sensed something off in the distance, so we went to check it out and, well... Ursa happened."

You shrug and sip at your Apple Cider.

Crepus did not look any less excited than before. If anything, he smiled wider and the imaginary tail you swore you saw picked up in speed -- contrasting greatly with Diluc who just sat in his chair silently, with his eyes burning a hole right through you.

A bit unnerving, but what could you do other than endure? Not like he was doing anything wrong, everyone did a little bit of unsettling staring every once in a while.

And besides, this wasn't the Diluc who would burn an Abyss Mage into unconsciousness just to burn them awake for information, this was a baby. A Diluc that wasn't hardened by the loss of his family, by the betrayal of his adopted brother turned Khaenri'ah spy, by the corruption of the Knights of Favonius he sincerely admired and by Snezhnaya kicking him while he was down. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and now you got sad thinking about what would have happened had you (and Dvalin... Mostly Dvalin...) not been there to intervene.

Everything was not Daijoubu.

"Then what did you friend mean, when he said you could permamently put down Ursa?"

Crepus sounded so genuinely curious and excited, it was adorable. How was this grown ass man so cute? With that crime against humanity of a beard too? It was utter witchcraft!

For a moment, you considered lying about your situation. You considered outright saying you couldn't tell because of personal reasons. You considered following the role model of all fools, Nie Huaisang, and shaking your head out of the situation, repeatedly saying 'you didn't know, you didn't know, you really didn't know--!'

But then you realized the cat was partly out of the bag anyways (thanks Dvalin, you're as subtle as a brick to the face) and it would be just a waste of effort on your part.

"No idea. He's convinced I'm the All-Mother of Teyvat and the longer I am around, the stronger I'll get. Theoretically, it would mean I could do something about Ursa somewhere down the line, but that's if I'm the All-Mother at all, which I doubt."

(Quietly, you refused to acknowledge the part of you that has long since accepted Teyvat would never hurt you and that you may be the All-Mother. Damn Dvalin and his silver tongue, it's like Venti getting Genshin!Diluc on his side with his song all over again!)

Crepus positively shook in excitement, a grin so bright you really wished for sunglasses this time. It's like this sunshine of a man had made it his personal mission to blind you.

Diluc just looked stunned silly, eyes wide like saucers and mouth slightly open in shock.

You sip at your Apple Cider awkwardly, thanking the Archons that neither Kaeya nor the Dawn Winery staff were around to add more weirdness to this disaster of a dinner.

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

Look at me, completely ignoring Canon.

Did Crepus have a personality in Canon? Maybe. I didn't read the manga. Do I know what it might be? Nope. I didn't read the manga, so now he's an excited gold lab with a side seasoning of sly fox.

The beauty of fanfiction, reality is whatever the hell I want it to be.

Sometimes you need to just run with half a fact you probably misheard and misinterpreted to make something fun happen, SAGAU needs some fluffy vibes without the damn cult worship.

The people that know what they're doing are writing impostor AUs and cult AUs, so might as well volunteer myself as tribute for this one.

I should probably make a masterlist at some point, shouldn't I? The parts are going to grow really fast considering I keep them all short.

Something to think about.

✨Taglist✨

@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt

Heeeey, mmeatt's tag works finally! It only took me 3 parts to figure it out!

Also special mention to @chaoticfivesworld who casually dropped some important lore on me in a comment, probably not realizing it would become a plothole in the future because, I repeat, I don't know canon as much as I probably should.

Yolo.

[radiofreederry]

Dorothy's Top 5 Games of 2023

2023 was a remarkable year for gaming. The number of major, high-quality releases was truly astonishing, both in the AAA and indie scenes.

2023 was also the year I started leaning more into gaming as a hobby, beginning to do Twitch streams in April. Because of this, I thought I'd go through a few of the best games I played this year, and talk a bit about what made them so enjoyable. Consider this my "games of the year" list, like I know so many people are going to be doing this year.

My list is reflective of my own preferences and tastes; I tend to play a lot of RPGs, action-adventure games, and platformers, so you won't find a lot of fighting games or shooters in contention here. Feel free to comment or reblog with your own list - you don't have to write little essays about everything like I did, but it'd be fun if you did!

Honorable Mentions:

Pentiment (Obsidian Entertainment): Released in November 2022, but didn't play until this year. One of the most gripping and original RPGs I've ever played.

Persona 5 Royal (P-Studio): Released in October 2022 for Xbox, but I've been streaming it and having a lot of fun with @lakemojave and others.

Katamari Damacy Reroll (Namco): Released in 2018 for Switch, but played it for the first time this year and had a blast.

And now, the list proper.

Fifth Place: Hi-Fi Rush (Tango Gameworks)

There was a sort of game prevalent in the sixth generation of consoles which doesn't exist much anymore outside of the indie space. These were bold, bright, games which were unapologetically "video gamey," and wore their medium on their sleeve. Playing Hi-Fi Rush, I felt as if I was Anton Ego eating the titular dish in Ratatouille, and being transported back to that forgotten era of gaming. Hi-Fi Rush is stylish, hilarious, and deliriously fun, mixing the rhythm and action genres to create an experience unlike anything else currently on offer in gaming.

With addicting timing-based combat, a killer soundtrack featuring a suite of certified bangers (such as a cover of "Free Radicals" by the Flaming Lips, one of my favorite bands), and a delightful cast of colorful characters, Hi-Fi Rush carries the off-beat spirit of games like Jet Set Radio and Viewtiful Joe in its DNA, and had it been made 20 years ago, I do not doubt that it would have an animated adaptation airing on Kids WB.

By evoking the spirit of a bygone era while remaining utterly unique, and by virtue of its slick presentation and impossible-to-put-down gameplay, Hi-Fi Rush manages to punch far above its own weight and snag fifth place on my list.

Fourth Place: A Highland Song (Inkle)

A Highland Song came out of nowhere at the tail-end of the year and forced me to completely reevalute my game rankings. It is one of the most delightful and charming games I've ever had the chance to play, and has managed to do what I thought was impossible: create a roguelike experience that I actually want to see through to completion.

A Highland Song does this through its emotive embrace of the Scottish Highlands as a setting, with those ancient hills acting as both the main antagonist and a stalwart companion in main character Moira's journey to cross the mountains and reach her uncle's lighthouse by the First of May.

The Highlands are your dear friend. They will provide you food, shelter, and the tools you need to complete your journey. The Highlands are your worst enemy. They will deny you a safe haven when you're exhausted, out of energy, and being soaked through by torrential, bitterly-cold rain; they will give you tools long after you've passed the point where they would have been useful. The hills will preserve you. The hills will kill you.

It is in these contrasts that A Highland Song shines. It is a game about finding yourself, and pushing forward in the face of impossible adversity. There is an indescribable joy to spending days in-game exploring a section of the Highlands, trying to find the way forward, and finally running through one of the game's rhythm-based sections, triumphant Celtic folk music blaring in your ears as you finally find your way. All the while, Uncle Hamish's warm, fond recollections of Celtic folklore and Moira's descriptions of her family life make you want to push on, to learn more about this magical place and the people who inhabit it.

You will not make it to the sea in time in your first run through A Highland Song, nor likely your second or third. Yet each time Moira passes through the mountains, you learn more about them, become more familiar with the slopes and pathways that carve through these lands that are older than time. You will stumble, you will fall, and then, eventually, you will make it to the sea by Beltane.

Third Place: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo EPD)

How do you follow up one of the most important and well-regarded games of the 2010s, improve almost everything about it, and even correct its flaws? Tears of the Kingdom manages that and then some. The direct sequel to 2017's Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom follows that game's version of series lead Link through a melancholy journey through a world ravaged by unnatural weather, blight, and time. Link is himself nearly torn apart by the corrupting influence of returning series antagonist Ganondorf (voiced in this installment in fine fashion by Matt Mercer), and the hastily replaced arm granted to him by the sage Rauru grants him new abilities, which replace and improve upon the ones he possessed in the last game.

With these new powers, the game becomes a truly open sandbox. Link is able to build almost anything with his Ultrahand ability, and the Fuse ability not only virtually eliminates the previous game's major flaw, its weapon durability system, by allowing the player to turn virtually any weapon top-tier by properly leveraging fusion materials, it also creates a resource management loop that discourages being stingy with strong resources - since they can be used to create very powerful weapons. Meanwhile, the Ascend and Recall abilities open new avenues in traversal and speed up exploration through Tear's of the Kingdom's massive map, which not only uses the previous game's world map as a base - with lots of altered and added locations to signify the passage of time, including a host of explorable caves - but more than doubles it by also adding floating islands in the sky and a dark, hostile undergound below.

The intense focus on exploration, not to mention some of the best dungeons and bosses in Zelda history, make this a game I had genuine trouble putting down at times as I sunk hundreds of hours into it, as I always felt like there was something new to find around the next corner, or some new treasure to find deep in the underground. Tears of the KIngdom is a masterclass in crafting an open world experience, and easily secures a spot in my top five. It only places so low on this list as a consequence of some blemishes on an otherwise extremely polished and technically impressive product - specifically its story and progression, which feels too much like retreading the structure of Breath of the Wild and not enough like it's blazing its own trail.

Second Place: Cyberpunk 2077 (CD Projekt Red)

Let's get this out of the way first: Cyberpunk 2077 originally released, infamously, in late 2020 in what was essenitally an unfinished state. However, with its 2.0 update that fundamentally restructures how the game is played, as well as the massive Phantom Liberty expansion dropping this year, I feel comfortable regarding this game as a 2023 release.

I didn't expect to have Cyberpunk 2077 on this list. I certainly didn't expect to see it so high on this list. And yet, here it is. I went in with almost no expectations, and came out with one of my favorite games of the year, and one of the most thoughtful RPGs of the decade. Cyberpunk 2077's great strengths lie in its richly detailed game world and its extremely strong writing, both of which impressed me beyond any preconceptions I may have had, especially given how the game originally launched as a broken, buggy mess.

Cyberpunk 2077's Night City is as fully realized a game world as I've ever seen, brimming with detail and things to both see and do. It is incredibly immersive, and I often found myself forgoing the game's fast travel system in order to simply cruise the moody, neon-soaked streets on my motorcycle as I sped from one gig to the next, taking in little details like the ethnic enclaves in different districts, or how infrastructure differed in poor areas compared to rich ones.

Cyberpunk 2077 tells a story about struggling against impossible odds, and finding hope and beauty in a hopeless and ugly world. In a future where capitalism's atomization and hyperindividualization rend the flesh of society at-large, the life of protagonist V is enriched through the human connections they are able to make as they race against time to save themselves from the biochip in their head eating away at their existence - a piece of technology stolen and then impulsively inserted during their first big job, a job taken in pursuit of the ephemeral and ambiguous glory that comes with being a legend of Night City. Their deteriorating condition throughout the game, and the ever-present acidic commentary of rockerboy Johnny Silverhand, serve as constant reminders of the folly of chasing such impermanent glory.

Whether it's Johnny's former bandmate Kerry, whose insecurities lead him to ostentatious acts of violence and destruction, or Judy, who has suffered loss after loss and desperately tries to find a situation she can control and someone who won't use or leave her, my journey as V centered around finding these connections, and using them not only to save V's life, but preserve her humanity. These themes carried through with the Phantom Liberty expansion, which explores such topics as freedom, survivor's guilt, and governmental corruption and exploitation, and features a delightful turn by Idris Elba as a weary government agent burdened by regret. There are plenty of bombastic setpieces, cleverly-written quests, and moments of intense action, but the things I think I'll always remember are quiet, intimate, human moments, from sitting with and comforting a girl whose girlfriend just killed herself, or meditating with a monk who has no ulterior motive but to bring V a rest in the midst of a grueling situation.

All that to say that while I had a lot of fun with the gameplay, the game world and the writing were what made me fall in love with Cyberpunk 2077, what will likely keep me coming back to the game on replay, and what landed it at number two on the list. The only reason it didn't end up at number one was because there's just one game I played this year which impressed me just that much more - and even then, it’s a thin margin.

First Place: Baldur's Gate 3 (Larian Studios)

Here I must confess not only have I never played the original Baldur's Gate games - early works by BioWare, a company whose work I generally respect - I had until this year never touched Dungeons and Dragons or any ancillary media. Total blind spot! Never even saw the movie this year! I'd played plenty of tabletop, but never any DnD.

What a treat, then, to be introduced to the world and mechanics of DnD through such a game as Baldur's Gate 3. This game glistens with careful and thoughtful design, and proves the vibrancy and potential that still remains in the classic CRPG style. Baldur's Gate 3's great strengths shine in two major areas, which I will go in more detail about now.

Firstly, the game offers a truly remarkable amount of freedom to the player in allowing them to resolve a situation in a myriad of ways, emulating the flexible nature of tabletop storytelling to an extent I've rarely seen in the video game medium. Want to defeat a boss that's giving you grief by running up to him and shoving him off a cliff? Sure, that works! Want to stealthily surround an enemy camp with explosive barrels and then cast fireball? Ok, go for it!

The other side of this coin is that the game permits a lot of flexibility in permitting the player to truly fuck up royally, while keeping the narrative going and not forcing them into a game over because they "played wrong." Took too long to save some gnomes from a cave-in? Too bad, they suffocated to death! Allowed an important NPC, whose spell was protecting a community from a curse, to be defeated in battle and captured? Tough luck, all those people have died a horrible, agonizing death! It's your fault! Now keep moving. In Baldur's Gate 3, all of your decisions, good or bad, have consequences, and you have to live with them.

Baldur's Gate 3's other great strength lies in its character writing. Every major character, and many minor characters, are written with such depth and nuance, with varied motivations, backstories, and moral alignments, which the player can both influence and be influenced by. Notable standouts include Astarion, the cynical vampire whose acid tongue is a defense mechanism to not let anyone get too close and who delights in thumbing his nose at others and seeking power for himself, but who can be guided towards a more empathetic and caring place; and Shadowheart, the cleric of the dark goddess Shar who finds herself torn between what she sees as her duty to her goddess and what she knows deep down to be the right thing to do.

Every character in Baldur's Gate 3 has a story to tell, and they're all good ones. That alone would land it on this list, but combined with the astonishing freedom it allows players and its infinite replayability rocket it to the top spot. Baldur's Gate 3 is my game of the year.

[ghulehunknown]

Papa Headcanons - Thanksgiving

They may not be accustomed to American holidays, but they’re excited to eat food and spend the day with you!

Primo

Falls asleep in front of the TV during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (but grumbles a few times in his sleep “Is it ready yet?”) and doesn’t wake up until the ghouls yell “dinner time!”

Has to take an antacid before eating

Carves the turkey

Mostly only picks the mushy foods to eat (i.e. casseroles) and only eats half his plate

“I’m thankful for all my ghouls, even the least favorite one.”

Hogs and clogs the toilet after

Secondo

Helps by setting the table and running to the store for last minute things that were either forgotten or you ran out of

Makes a surprisingly good roux for the mac n cheese and the gravy

“What is this American shit?” he asks about half the food on the table

Proceeds to eat and enjoy literally everything, except he still can’t get behind the cranberry sauce. “It wobbles.” (Copia’s head pokes up from his plate, mid face-stuffing.)

“I’m thankful for good food and good company” (he would say while holding his glass up to cheer)

Dutifully helps clean up and washes dishes

Terzo

Peels one potato and says “I’m bored” and walks away. You have to finish peeling them. Then he brags about how he made the mashed potatoes. When you tell him off he says, “Okay, well I helped!”

“Why is everything the same color? I’m not eating that. Oh wait, actually…that’s very good…mmm. Can I have some more?”

Compares everything to Italian food and admits you are an amazing cook and could put his nonna to shame (he never met his nonna but he’s not going to tell you that)

“I’m thankful for titties and ass, dongs of every shape and size, and eh - the female orgas-” (gets interrupted by an elbow to the ribcage, courtesy of you)

Says he has to go to the bathroom to avoid having to help clean up and you never see him again until morning

Wakes you up early the next morning to go Black Friday shopping in his Christmas sweater. (“I’ve always been fascinated by this American sport”)

Copia

He’s in charge of the turkey and he’s very nervous and is taking this job very seriously

In fact he barely speaks to anyone all day because he’s busy burning things in the kitchen and sweating on everything. It’s like a scene from Ratatouille, except it’s just his rats running all over the stove and nibbling on the stuffing.

“I’m not even hungry!” as he shovels food in his face

“I’m thankful for my rats, and cheese. And of course, all of you.”

After dinner he runs dishes back and forth from the table to the kitchen until someone forces him to sit down

Passes the fuck out immediately afterwards in front of his video games

Also clogs the toilet (when did he even have time to do that?)

Nihil

Mumbles something about how he tried breeding dogs once while the National Dog Show plays on TV

Has been systematically picking things from the dishes as they’re being prepared so he truly isn’t hungry during the meal and doesn’t eat much on his plate

Complains about how much Copia burned things and that’s why he’s not eating

“I’m thankful for Seestor”

Falls asleep immediately after dinner

[essentiallyleaf]

day 02. pegging. with. chuu.

2013 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, futa!idol x male reader, roommates with benefits, sub reader, softie dom chuu, making out, blowjobs (reader receiving and giving), masturbation, mutual masturbation, pegging, pet names, the writing kinda just gets worse as it progresses, it wasn’t supposed to be this long.

notes.

chuu has a dick. if you’re into that, great, if you’re not, i’m sorry, hopefully you’ll like some of the next ones(?). i guess that’s kind of the point of kinktober? anyway, love your parents. intensely, leaf.

She always had those unexpected reactions, her tone or expression often clashing with her words (you saw her smile the widest at “Fuck that bitch and her fancy new whatever, can I suck you off?”), but when she said you looked tense and she’d help you loosen up, you didn’t expect that.

Jiwoo was just your roommate, not exactly the “just your roommate” that asks to copy your homework and not to make noise after 10, more like the “just your roommate” that you have unprompted makeout sessions with during movie night, or right before going to class, or anytime she felt like it, really. It wasn’t uncommon that while making out she would casually offer you a blowjob, what was uncommon is that you’d decline.

One time you were feeling up her boobs and asked to repay the favor, and she asked you if you were sure, said that she’d understand if you never wanted to kiss her, or even talk to her again, then lowered her pants and underwear and showed you her 6.5-inch monster. You simply pecked her and got on your knees. It was your first time, but you did “great, baby boy”.

Since then the two of you started masturbating in front of each other, Jiwoo even using her black dildo on special occasions (you never knew whether to look at her veiny cock or her pretty puppy face, simultaneously focused and completely lost in pleasure) and jerking each other off slowly while kissing. Some of her cum accidentally hit your closed eyelid once, she said she was so sorry, you just picked it up with your finger and licked it off, satisfied. She smiled and cleaned your dick with her tongue.

One day Jiwoo came home looking distracted. She was worried about her driving test (“I’ll get my license when I need one”; she ended up needing one to get from afternoon classes to evening shifts at the coffee shop she worked at, the subway couldn’t get her there in time) and about finals getting closer, she said; you knew there was something else. You made her hot pot that night, then you watched Ratatouille together. She loves Ratatouille. You asked if she was tired, if there was something else she wanted to do. Twenty minutes later you were laying on the couch on top of her, naked.

“I’m putting it in, okay?”

She came three times that night. Before you both fell asleep while spooning on the couch, nothing but a blanket covering your bodies (it was well into May, so it wasn’t that cold), you whispered in her ear:

“I think you’ll do great on your date”

She turned her head. “H- How did you know?”

“I didn’t”

She opened her mouth like she was trying to say something, then probably realized there was no need to. You hugged her tighter.

The date went pretty well. It was a girl she met at the coffee shop, she was a pre-med student who drank lots of coffee and read a little too much Nietzsche for someone her age. Jiwoo said she was just “interested in the human mind”, which is certainly one way of looking at it. Things ended up not working out, but Jiwoo took it surprisingly well. As for you, you’re all for your roommate making her own choices and more than happy to just support her, but you can’t say you were particularly sad about it.

Maybe it’s for the same reason that tonight, you let her have it. You let her play with you, follow her lead, and then, who knows.

What matters is that right now, Jiwoo just jumps onto the couch and starts simply kissing your neck, ridding you of your shirt to access your collarbones, lightly squeezing your cock through your pants in the meantime. You feel up her boobs through her beige t-shirt before she quickly takes it off with your help along with your jeans and her gray waist-high pants, taking no more than twenty seconds. You’re used to her being a little impatient from time to time. She keeps making out with you as she gropes your butt with both hands, humping you increasingly stronger as both of you become erect.

She only stops to get rid of the remaining underwear on both of your bodies, smiling like she has something in mind.Then she extends her index finger in front of your face.

“Wait one second”

You’re not surprised when she comes back from her room with a bottle of lube in her hand. You are surprised when, in the same tone she reminds you to water the plants, gently, but delivering the feeling that it’s something she cares about, ‘cause “without them, it wouldn’t feel like home!”, she tells you:

“Get on all fours”

“Noona?” She’s two years older than you.

“I know it’s scary, okay? I was scared too, but I promise, I promise it’ll feel good. And if it hurts even a little, we stop immediately, I kiss you boo-boo and we watch The Incredibles while eating ice cream” You love The Incredibles, and you love ice cream, but the thought of Jiwoo’s girth splitting your anus open was still pretty fucking scary.

“How about if we skip the kissy boo-boo part?”

It wasn’t what she said, it was her big sister smile, the smile of someone who cares, the smile of someone who, if need be, would protect you from your greatest stan, turned evil after you rejected him, who now wants to pretend-destroy your city and then pretend-save it to look like a hero, or from, a washed restaurant owner, that wants to kill your rat friend, who indirectly cooks rejuvenating dishes, secretly controlling your movements by pulling your hair, I guess?

Anyway, you get on all fours and she softly pats your butt and lower back before squirting some lube on her hands and spreading it thoroughly on her shaft. Then she puts her index and middle fingers on your asshole and starts gently massaging around it.

“Hey, it might be a little cold, okay?”

It is a little cold. But the first phalanx of the first finger feels unexpectedly okay. She slowly goes in deeper and deeper, observing your facial expressions, because seeing you three quarters from the back is enough for her, and listening for any signs of discomfort. She only hears soft mewls, so she places the second finger on your rim and waits. You gradually get used to the feeling and relax more and more, until Jiwoo can push the second digit in, this time even slower than the first. You struggle a little more with this one.

“Shhh, you’re doing so good for me, baby boy” she whispers while kissing your nape. Her reassuring words help you relax a little more, until she can get most of her slender finger in.

“I’m gonna start moving. You just tell me if it hurts, yeah?” Then she begins rotating her fingers inside you, covering your insides with lube. Now that you’ve adjusted to the temperature, it feels surprisingly quite nice. As soon as she deems you appropriately lubed up, she slowly takes her fingers out as you groan. When she’s done, you feel strangely hollow.

“Good boy, my good boy, you did so well” she showers you with compliments while repeatedly kissing you on the cheek. You half-smile back.

“Wanna stop?” You just shake your head.

She takes position behind you on the couch and aligns her rod with you, placing her tip on your asshole. She starts lightly pushing in as you moan out loud, her girth much wider than her fingers. You look back at her and nod to go in, and so she does. You growl as she gradually makes her way into your hole, one of her hands now on your shoulder, the other on your hip.

As you look over your shoulder, asking yourself when she’s finally going to bottom out, she smiles, almost surprised herself.

“A- I’m in”

You take a couple minutes to get adjusted, two minutes filled with “You did a great job, honey”’s and kisses on your shoulders, neck, and lips.

Then she slowly pulls back out, until only her tip is in you. You feel that strange hollowness again.

“Just go in, what are you waiting for?” You look behind, questioningly. 

“Haha~ I knew you would like this” (Touché.)

You can’t say the same, but when she begins thrusting back and forth at a glacial pace, making sure to hit every corner of your hole, any thought of suppressing your moans and “Yes, noona”’s to try to keep a semblance of pride has gone completely out of the window and you’re now in the palm of Jiwoo’s hand. So as she accelerates her rhythm, she simply goes:

“There, there” and moves her right hand to your still erect cock to jerk you off. The built up stimulation from her fingers, to her dick, to now her hand caressing your length makes you explode after only a couple strokes, and many long stripes of white messily paint the couch. Your orgasm lasts what feels like an eternity and you keep growling out loud for more than a few seconds as Jiwoo wraps her hands around you, trying her best to support your limp body.

“You okay?” You still need to take a few deep breaths before you’re able to answer.

“Fuck, that was intense” you’re talking into a pillow, no strength left to even turn to face her.

“You wanna feel something more intense?”

“What? I just came, I’m spent, I have nothing left in me!”

“I’ll do all the work, I won’t even touch your dick! Plus, I still haven’t cum…” She pouts slightly. Fuck, this girl knows you.

“‘Kay, what do I do?”

“Just lay with your back on the couch and your legs open. Get comfortable, I need you to relax~” she says almost melodically, caressing from the top of your head, to your temples, down to your cheeks.

When she sees your eyes close in relaxation, she aligns herself with your hole for a second time and pushes in, this time much more easily. She bottoms out in just a few seconds and in this position, it feels she’s reaching much deeper into you. She notices when you tightly grip a pillow in each hand and groan below her, still not able to express your pleasure through proper words, so she wrings them out of you.

“You like, huh?”

“Yeah. Yeah, noona. Please keep going”

“At your service, baby boy”

She immediately gets into a faster rhythm this time, knowing she won’t last long either. As she pistons in and out of your hole, you feel your guts being rearranged, spikes of pleasure reinvigorating you with energy. Energy that needs to flow out one way or another, and it does through your hands gripping Jiwoo’s asscheeks, guiding, no, throwing her pelvis into you and back out, and through your abs flexing to help your mouth reach up to the lips of the girl above you.

The two of you are now symmetrically slamming your respective hips into each other’s and moaning in each other’s mouths, only partially silencing the sounds of pure, raw sex leaving your apartment. And symmetrically the two of you reach your peaks.

You start spurting the last few drops of cum you have in your body just as she pulls out and jerks herself onto you, two sources of white nectar coming together on your abs, chest, even chin and neck as you and Jiwoo are still French kissing, and keep doing so for a good minute after coming down from your highs, her body now resting on yours.

You wrap one hand around her back and caress her hair with the other while kissing the side of her head.

“Haha~ I take it you liked it”

“Some parts of my body definitely loosened up”

The joke isn’t funny, but she chuckles anyway.

“Thank you, noona”

-

footnotes.

hope you liked it! i wasn’t super happy about some parts, but that’s okay(?). i’m kinda worried i’ll write the same characters over and over again, just changing the names. hopefully it’s just that two different idols in a row gave me the same vibes. we’ll see. may you have a blessed day, dear reader. mmwah. kindly, leaf.

[byhuenii]

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ matching halloween costumes w/ jjk men

AN: listen yes i know IM 5 days late to halloween but who gives a fuck! i love me halloween i love me some matching halloween costumes and i love me some jjk men. simple girl with simple needs 🤷‍♀️ Fem!reader BTW

Included: Gojo Geto Nanami Toji Choso !!

Gojo Satoru - Beast Boy and Raven

at first he was totally against the idea of turning his hair green because duh it was what made satoru satoru! but with some little convincing he caved in (YES!)

he knew of beast boy and raven is what he told you but he didn’t he really didn’t have a childhood to which he could watch cartoons, so he had to look up beast boy and robin he even watched some clips of just beast boy and raven. he wanted to fit the role—the more he watched the more he was convinced yeah he is beast boy.

and when the costumes finally came in on time for shoko’s halloween party, he was already in character. instead of calling you princess baby he now calls you mama. you can’t lie it makes you giggle at how dedicated he is. and to be honest he really just wanted to see you in that body suit with tights and a cape. before and during the party he couldn’t keep his hands off you. (he is so beast boy :c)

Geto Suguru - Woody and Bo Peep

at first he was confused like, why would you want to be dolls? why couldn’t you be like mario and princess peach? but no you had to convince him to be woody and bo peep. it took some actual convincing a whole powerpoint presentation.

he knew of those two already since you loved doing toy story, it was your comfort movie. your go to movie. your my personality movie. he still never got the whole appeal of it still. it wasn’t like you two were doing anything it was just going to be a simple chill at home handing candy to kids while satoru and shoko were there being themselves annoying geto. so when he put the costume on the day of halloween he looked himself in the mirror laughing. you who was confused thought he liked it oh so wrong. he thought he looked stupid,

you were already in the living room with satoru and shoko talking. he wanted to walk out without the costume but he knew you had always wanted to match as bo peep and woody—he put it back on and sucked it up. satoru being satoru of course laughing at suguru but he didn’t care suguru did it for you. (he would look so cute as woody with his long hair/man bun DONT @ ME.)

Nanami Kento - Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON NANAMI. that man is such a gentleman he doesn’t care what you guys are for halloween, as long as you’re happy that’s all that mattered to him. he never cared for halloween it was just a silly holiday to dress up, this was serious for you SERIOUS BUSINESS.

the two of you binged watched every single disney princess movie and you came to the conclusion he liked tangled the most. there was just something about the movie he liked it. you immediately ordered everything for the costume so when he finally out it on, it was game over. it was like he was fit perfectly for the role as flynn ryder. he thought he looked good but when you put on the costume you looked amazing to him,

something about the corset and longer hair did something to him, got him giggling kicking his feet! you could say the same. the white open top button with the vest…it was like his normal attire but just more flynn ryder. safe to say he had kiss stains all over his face

Fushiguro Toji - The chef and Remy the rat

Listen you are basically already toji’s sugar mommy cause that boy cannot hold a job and for that why don’t we give him a job on halloween as a one of the many chefs from ratatouille!

you moreover the rat wouldn’t maybe say remy but definitely a cute ass rat! toji was all for it until you put on the ears. he looked at you all weird like you were some human sized rat which you weren’t. you literally had a grey corset white skirt and rat ears. CUTE rat ears. he wouldn’t even kiss you or hug you because he thought he would be seen as a rat lover like what??

you didn’t care you looked cute and took picture cause at the end of the day your goal was just to make you and your greasy boyfriend look cute together, maybe you should’ve done ghost face but who cares you were a cute rat.

Choso Kamo - Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy

it was a last minute costume, both of you weren’t going to do anything but remembered you could just walk around Shibuya! …well itadori invited you two because he knew you two would laze around on the couch watching cheap horror movies on the TV with some popcorn that was probably too stale for you two to eat.

and with last minute costumes calls for last minute shopping and what did you find? some spiderman suits. i mean take what you can get and don’t throw a fit! choso was skeptical cause its just a bodysuit, he would be exposed! but he still bought it, and man that shit formed his body perfectly, his abs were outlined his biceps.

the two of you ended up just throwing on some sweats/cargos over the bodysuit and called it a day. choso had the mask hang out of his front pocket, you just wanted to grab it wrap it around his neck and pull him into infinite kisses. yuuji thought you two looked so cute with the matching costume! if yuuji likes the costume and you like the costume that is all that mattered to choso, he was happy loving every moment he spent with you and yuuji.

[thebibliosphere]

What are your thoughts on authors writing and posting fanfiction of their own work? Do you think being self published vs traditionally published makes a difference? I tried searching around about the topic before but found nothing conclusive, other than the statement, "if you're the owner of the work, you might as well make more money off of it," which doesn't sit right with me.

I mean, I'm quite (in)famously writing an AU fic of my own work (Sugar Vladdy) purely for fun and because Tumblr has a unique ability to pilot my lack of impulse control like the ADHD version of Ratatouille.

Numerous people have told me they'd buy Sugar Vladdy if I ever decided to make it into a proper book. Frankly, I'm not interested in that because my motives for writing Hunger Pangs vs. Sugar Vladdy were different.

Writing for profit vs writing for fandom occupy different spaces in my brain. They scratch different itches. Yes, I'm playing around with the same characters. But I'm sort of just treating it like enrichment in my enclosure. It lets my brain throw around all the ideas that wouldn't work for those characters within the canon universe but still likes to go, "Oh, but what if..."

Honestly. No idea how much of that is my ADHD or what, but that's the only way I can explain it. They're the same, but they're not. They're fun in different ways. And I can get away with it because I'm self-pub. I haven't sold the rights to anyone. The world and characters are mine. I can put my blorbos into situations if I want to.

Now, if I were trad-pub, there would probably be a lot of restrictions about what I can and cannot do surrounding my own characters because I've sold the rights for X amount of time. I couldn't just give things away. It might be considered a breach of contract if I did. It'd definitely be something I'd need to run by an agent first just to make sure.

As for not liking the "might as well make money off it" mindset, as a literal struggling writer who lives paycheck to paycheck, I'm not going to judge anyone who keeps their official work as for profit only. People deserve to be paid for their labor. If they/we want to create stuff away for free, that's up to us.

Would I personally find it stifling and joy-killing to only ever write for profit? Yes. But that's a me thing. Not a universal thing.

[actualbird]

do you think the nxx ever cries or just… don’t deal with their emotions in a healthy way? they must be so emotionally repressed!

im so sorry but this is worded in a way i find absolutely hilarious omfg. do they cry or do they suck it up til the end of time? KJAHVSJFHAVSLFSFKJA

i like to think they Do cry, but my god it takes a Lot. this goes for All of them. like, we've seen in canon when the nxx boys and rosa cries, and it's usually during/after very high stakes or very emotional situations. some examples off the top of my head are

marius cries in SSR Unconcealable, the card where mc gets KIDNAPPED and then both of them get TRAPPED IN A FREEZER FOR A HOT SEC

mc cries in SSR Peaceful Place because she thought luke got shot and DIED,

luke cries in his Blossom Chapter Personal Story 4 because he thought mc DROWNED AND DIED

artem cries in SSR Two Hearts as one because he got so emotional acting like he was choking mc

vyn cries in...well, several cards like SR False Tears and SSR Neon Melody but those were 1) not exactly a "healthy" way of dealing with emotions or 2) caused by pepper spray KJHVSKJDF. im behind on vyn's cards, idk in which ones he cries honestly due to genuine in distress

so like, they DO cry. but it seems to take rather a lot to get them there. the flipside is that they also cry when overcome with immensely positive emotion (like, mc was on the verge of tears when luke finally proposed in SSR Orange Scent) so at least theres that!!!! but it's not much, chief....

all members of the nxx team all are IMMENSELY repressed. i think the most emotionally healthy of the team is DAVIS, which isnt a good sign, given that hes not even human

anyhoo this ask inspired me so

here are some misc headcanons on the nxx team and crying

i hc that luke as a kid was Such a crybaby. he'd cry over everything: when he saw a sad movie, when he saw a happy movie, when he saw a dog being walked but the dog was so dang small, when mc cries and his high empathy kicks in to make it Our Cry Session, just...he cried over IT ALL. he was just a very emotionally sensitive child, even to emotions from others. he eventually got emotionally steadier as he grew up but i think there are innocuous movies that, due to him crying over them as a kid, still make luke cry as an adult

[nxx movie night]

marius: man i love this movie, absolute classi---WHY ARE YOU CRYING??

luke: because ANYBODY can COOK!! EVEN A RAT!!!!!

mc, silently glaring at marius over luke's shoulder as if to say "Don't You Say A Mean Word To Him Right Now": O_O

(yes, they were watching ratatouille)

-

vyn has mastered crying on cue and can do it at the drop of a hat, but when he REALLY TRULY ACTUALLY is hit by the genuine need to cry for any reason, be it positive or negative, he cannot stop it at all until its run its natural course.

which is just AGONIZING for him, surely, but this is the price he has to pay for the power of being able to cry on command: not be able to stop when it's for realsies

marius: HAHA, CRYBABY

vyn: //throws a book at him because just cuz he cant stop crying, doesnt mean he cant attack

-

it slightly pisses everyone off a teensy bit that artem can cry artfully.

like, the single tear. the lines of silent tears streaming down his face. even the more desperate sobs. doesnt matter whether theyre stage tears for another play or if theyre during high stakes situations, artem seems to naturally cry in a cinematic manner

artem: //shedding a few tears because of the stress of an nxx operation or something

luke: hey it's okay, everyone's alright

luke internal thoughts: why is he so pretty while crying?????? .....wait what

-

and lastly, marius can hold back tears like nobodys business. like luke, he was a huge crybaby as a kid. but unlike luke, he held it back so much that when he DID cry as a child, it was REALLY CRYING. like wailing, like sobbing. it's heartbreaking to watch

so via his Entire Life Of Repressing Weakness And Related Emotions, he became rlly powerful at holding back the need to cry. it only happens during VERY EMOTIONALLY INTENSE scenarios ORRRR

during horror movies

because hes such a horror weakling and he gets so spooked that tears literally come out

mc: how did that jumpscare make you tear up but not the intro scene to Up

marius, hiding behind a pillow to avoid any more jumpscares: im a man of endless mystery, miss

thank you for the ask :D