#alien headcanon

[flowersandbigteeth]

Which monsters of yours would freely give their credit card to their darlings, no questions asked vs. the monsters that’d ask for a “favor” of some type in return?

And then which monsters would just say “no” to me, and leave me crying cause I wanted a new Sanrio plushie?

This is such a cute question, I love it! Answers below:

First, in the hypothetical situation where he appears magically in our world, Golmad is going to tell you "no" to Sanrio plushies. Not because he is worried about money, but because badass Orc Queens don't carry around adorable plushies, they carry weapons. He'd suggest a nice mace or a whip in the color pink. However, after he sees your pouty eyes, that plush is going to mysteriously appear in your bedroom with a mini axe strapped to its back.

After your "adjustment" period is over, Roth is issuing you your own card and sending you on elaborate shopping trips with the club girls. The caveat is you have to give him a personal fashion show when you get back to show off the clothes you bought.

Leander is pretty sure spending money is your primary job and has contacted the bank to let them know you are authorized to withdraw however much you like. Every shop owner in town adores when you come in because they know you are dropping serious cash.

Serge will demand favors in a big way. He'll make you call him pet names and give him smooches in return for whatever you like. He will also trade treats for self-care. Brushing your teeth or showering yourself will result in cash prizes! Money isn't an issue, but he's not giving you the credit card because it's so much more fun to extract concessions for his whims.

Idreod has no problem with issuing you your own card, but you're in charge of the budget anyway, so you already know the balances and whatnot. His only stipulation is that whatever you buy better be high end. His wife has to look a certain way so people know she's above them.

With Vylkas the situation is switched. It's you giving him your credit card. Of course, you have to give him a card with a limit because he has no common sense and will spend all his money on cigarettes and decorations for his murder pond.

Hugo will bicker with you about spending money on frivolous things, but always gives in eventually. He'll pout when you buy designer clothes or plushies, but quietly build you a new shelf to store them or expand your closet to fit the new clothes. He'll tell you it's so he can add photos of whatever he built to his portfolio to draw new customers and earn back all the money you're spending, but you notice he is very careful with your new stuff (picking up and arranging your plushies if you leave them out or hanging up your dresses if you toss them on the floor) and asks you to wear things he likes for him or asks if you want him to grab your plushie while you're watching movies.

Rafe is the worst. He's happy to buy you what you like, but he demands lots of naughty favors in return. Extortion is his favorite bedroom game.

Chase also likes to be in control of the money, but he's more playful when he shakes you down. He likes to come shopping with you so he can demand kisses for him to swipe his card. He likes showing off to people that you're his and especially likes to make the other shoppers jealous, spending lots of money on you. He's a bit of a terror in the store. If a shop worker appears to be flirting with you, he'll make their life extra hard, demanding they run around getting all sorts of things you have no intention of buying. He's also very picky about the things you buy. He wants you to look like a cute little housewife, so very few pants unless they are leggings that show off your figure. He's perfectly happy to buy you plushies or other cute stuff, but practical things are a no-no. Why do you need a drill? He will do all of that hard stuff so his pretty little wife doesn't break a nail.

Lethia loves shopping and terrorizing you with naughty games. She'll demand you try on all sorts of revealing lingerie and racy outfits just to watch you squirm and blush in them. She doesn't see any reason for you to have "normal" clothes, but other than that, she'll buy you whatever else you want for a kiss. Her little pet has to look fabulous at her side so she'll take you to get your nails done with the most elaborate sets, hair dyed in mermaid or candy colors, and whatever other pampering you didn't know you needed. If she finds out you like plushies, you'll be buried in them. She'll have alerts on her phone for the latest drops, so you get the newest ones.

Once Nasos gets used to you not being a sleeve, shopping with you is his second favorite activity to the naughty stuff. He'd be excited to take you to all sorts of alien markets, just to see your eyes light up with all of the products you never knew existed. He's always been a simple guy, so he doesn't need much for himself. For you though, he spares no expense. Since you two are often on long trips into deep space, he wants to make sure you are plenty occupied and not bored. You wouldn't get your own credit card, but all you have to do is look at something with your big sparkly eyes and he's ringing it up.

Kostas is far more practical than his cousin. You are allowed treats, but only for good behavior. He's carefully helping you learn how to control your temper with a reward sticker system. When you deal with an emotion appropriately, you get stickers that can be cashed out for a treat at the end of the week when the two of you go to town for supplies. He's very specific about the stickers he gets, too, so you enjoy collecting them because they are super cute, not just for the big prize.

<3 <3 <3

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I love Renesmee's xenomorph joke, so I was going to ask in a tongue-and-cheek way what would happen if she really was a xenomorph but then I realized that instead of that, then Joram would have been the one to discover the xenomorphs, who would be...decimating the country and considering how old Nahuel is, well... bleak ending to be sure.

I mean... this isn't not canon.

For all intents and purposes the hybrids are, to humans, unkillable, man-eating, extremely intelligent creatures who feed relatively often and can kill us with a swat of their hand moments after birth.

Look, if you put a Twilight hybrid seconds after birth in the Nostromo, it had no socialization/no vampire to help it, it's starving after just being born, then I'm not saying Alien wouldn't happen but with a more humanoid alien instead.

[monstersandmaw]

an alien species where the males are small and human sized, but the females are huge, sentient organic spaceships that double as both captain and vessel for their "crew" of males. which leads to a male alien visiting earth getting the wrong idea when he hears sailors referring to their boats with "she" pronouns

awww!

[puppetmaster13u]

Y'know sometimes I wonder what Ras reaction was to the Justice League. Like he practically offered Bruce the chance to be one of his generals, straight up offered for him to be his heir, and was turned down.

Do you think he's offended. Because oh, so his organization isn't good enough, but that merry band of idiots is?!

[superbat-love]

Tim: Red Hood, this is Red Robin.

Jason: What's up?

Tim: Batman has gone missing. One minute he was investigating the crime scene, and the next minute he’s gone!

Tim: I reviewed the tapes, and I think Superman may have kidnapped him.

Jason: Ah, so this was an alien abduction?

Tim: Jason…

Jason: He's probably being probed right now. I wouldn’t want to interrupt their scientific exploration of each other.

Tim: Jason, I'm being serious!

Jason: Sorry Tim, can’t help you. Paranormal investigation ain't my forte. Try the Green Lantern Corps.

Tim: Jason, I swear to god, if you don’t help me, you're gonna come back to find a serious "upgrade" to your bike!

Jason: Okay, okay, don’t pop a blood vessel. I’ll find the man.

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[heartfullofleeches]

[Yan Scientist approaches Slime Reader's cage]

"Doctor! Keep your distance! That creature's slime dissolves clothing as if it were tissue paper."

[Slime darling looks around their cage before pointing at themselves]

Slime Reader: ???

[They make eye contact with the scientist - opening their arms wide for a hug despite the walls of thick glass between them]

Slime Reader: :D <3

Yan Scientist: Everyone out of the lab.

"Doctor-"

Yan Scientist, messing with the keypad wired to the slime's cage: Emergency testing - everyone out of this room right fucking now.

[milkywayes]

GARRUS VAKARIAN: DATABASE IMAGE ACCESS. > PT. 1 : 2160, 2166, 2170. > all files backdated according to user preferences: (terran_coordinated.calendar).

[compact-turtle]

I'll listen to you next time. Okay? ~

Concept: Yandere Space Explorer x Gn Reader: Spicy Edition

Summary: Orion ignores your pleas to stay home and decides to follow you into the jungle.

TW: NS//FW, finger/ing, dub-con?, biting, general yandere stuff, riding, just being horny yk

Word count: 1.4k

Note: I'm like a thousand followers late but here's the first part of the thousand (now 2 thousand?!?!) follower celebration I promised!! I plan on breaking it up into 3 different posts for each character. First will be Orion, then Ivar and Atticus last!

Entry Date XX-XX-XXX Y/n has begun hoarding large amounts of food lately. No preference for food in the pile with the exception of Aishi flowers. Behavior lately has been erratic. Body language suggests uneasiness and anxiety. They’ve instructed me to stay in the hut for a few days while they leave on a journey. They brought all the Aishi flowers with them along with half the food pile. In order to understand their behavior, I am choosing to ignore their request and will follow them. I have- 

"Oh fuck” Orion whispered as he finally noticed how lifeless the jungle had suddenly become. 

He was utterly absorbed in finishing his journal entry, neglecting to watch his surroundings despite your repeated warnings. Orion couldn't determine how long the forest had been silent. 

He quietly packed up his items, his heart pounding and his breath quickening.

It's fine. You were pretty close. You were just a few hundred feet inside a nearby cave that he'd tracked you down to. 

 Keep calm. Orion reminded himself multiple times as his feet picked up the pace. His eyes caught a glimpse of something purple stalking him. 

No more calm. 

Orion booked it. He clutched his satchel tightly while weaving through the jungle. Roots nearly tripped him. The jungle began to blur into a confusing tapestry of blue, green, and every other color. 

Suddenly, he was pinned to the ground. Its sharp teeth flashed, and a disgusting smell wafted into his nose. 

"GET OFF ME" Orion yelled as he attempted to kick the beast off him. 

The kick did very little to harm it. At most, he probably annoyed the creature. The beast growled and opened its mouth wider. 

Something pushed the giant beast off him just as it was about to take a bite. The beast staggered back in shock. A large howl escaped the beast.

You jumped on top of it with a blade in your head. You quickly shoved your blade into the side of the beast. Cries of pain echoed from it as he watched you take the knife out of its neck. It shook you off its back, and you fell onto the ground. Quickly, it ran into the jungle. 

"WHY YOU HERE? SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME!" You screamed at him. Your body was sluggish as it dragged itself off the ground.

"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay! You've been acting so weird lately and-." 

"Go home. Now." 

Without looking back, you slowly walked into a nearby cave. Orion tip-toed behind you into the cave, trying not to upset you any further. A makeshift leaf curtain door covered the entrance. The cave was small and had a dead end. A pile of aishi flowers was littered around with a musk smell.

You immediately collapsed onto the flower when you walked in. Your body giving up as it pushed itself past the limit. Orion rushed over to you. At first, he assumed you were injured in the fight with the predator.

His eyes darted in surprise when he realized you were bare. He pulled you into his arms with your back facing him. Sweat dripped down your forehead as you buried yourself in his arms. It took Orion a few seconds to understand what was wrong with you. A small smile snaked itself way onto his lips. 

"I'm so sorry, Y/n. I didn't know it was your heat and mating season! You should've said something to me. I would've helped you. "Orion said sweetly as he traced his finger down your back. You gave a soft mew and shuddered underneath his touch. 

"Nooo. Give me flowers. I eat." You cried, trying to fight him. "I need it!"

Orion reached over and gently fed you a flower. Your body began to cool down, and your mews died down. The sensitivity is fading away. A look of soberness slowly leaked into your eyes. 

Hm. No wonder you were collecting these so much. They were meant to suppress your heat. Still, you didn't need the flowers now that he was here to assist you. He snatched the flower from your hand. You whined as he took it away. 

Orion resumed teasing your body. His finger stopped at the base of your tail. He wrapped his fingers around it, following its length until the tip. He marveled at the flexibility of your tail as it wrapped around his arm in pleasure. The fur underneath his skin was soft like the blankets in your room. 

 When his fingers reached the end, he circled them around it and toyed with it. Tiny trembles reverberated through your body. You began to pant more. Drool slipped over the side of your mouth, and a flushed color began to paint your skin.

"Does it feel good? Am I a good boy helping you?" 

"Nooooo. Stop. No touch," You babble incoherently. 

"Hm? It doesn't feel good here. I'm so sorry. Let me try somewhere else." Orion apologized teasingly while he nibbled on your ear.  

His finger began to trail down lower from your tail. Gently, he pried your legs apart. He slowly slipped his finger inside you. You writhed when Orion pushed it in. Your tail curled up, and your eyes glazed over in pleasure. 

Your hole was wet as it ached for him. It wrapped around his finger as he pushed in and out of it. Wet slick coating the entire finger. The sensation of your hole was exhilarating with the pressure around it as he added another finger. As his fingers curved inside you, the feeling intensified around him. He shivered in bliss as your back arched, trying to make the fingers go in deeper. 

Your voice echoed through the cave. He listened as you mewed out small chirps and cries. He adjusted your head and began to suck on your tongue. Greedily, he relished the taste of your mouth. The taste of your mouth was so sweet, like honey. It brought him pure bliss, and he was almost ready to explode. 

His cock ached and was sore inside his pants. He began to grind on your back, desperate for release. He lapped at your tounge and it felt like he'd drank ambrosia from the gods. Every drop dripped from his mouth straight into his very essence. He couldn't take it anymore as he rubbed himself into your back.

Suddenly, you ripped your lips off of him. A throbbed headache resounded as you pushed him on the floor. His fingers leave your tight hole. 

He watched you get on top of him. You sat on top of him, and your tail pinned his hands to the ground. You tore off his pants. His cock managed to spring free. He moaned as you tried to sit down on him. Your body desperately tries to take his entire length. You shifted and shuffled in various directions, trying to make it fit. 

Finally, your walls managed to take him in. You slicked up his dick with your nectar and pushed it inside yourself deeper. He groaned at how tight you were inside. It almost felt suffocating. Still, he adored the way you devoured him, and was still ravenous for more.

"Can I finish inside you? Please, please, please, let me," Orion begged as you moved your hips, "You feel too good. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me finish in you." 

"No. Ri, not listen to me. Bad boy today." You said through gasps.

You leaned down and bit his neck as punishment for even asking that. Something in him broke. He knew it was too soon. You just put it inside, and he wanted to fill you up. 

He tried to listen and hold back. However, the image of you full of him pushed him over the edge. Your belly filled with him to the brim. Your sweet slick mixed with his salty seed. Your delicate skin is stained with his dirty white liquid. Afterward, you'd lift yourself up and spill the extra fluid your hole couldn't contain. 

A slight whine escaped your lips as Orion made his fantasy a reality. He painted your walls white and moaned as you took it all in. He couldn't help it. Listening to you call him a bad boy while riding him was too much. 

"I'm sorry for not listening to you today. Let's do it again, and I'll listen to you this time. Okay?" 

[gros-chat-fait]

Just six normal teens hanging out in the woods. --

100th post and final drawing of the year. Happy holidays and new year, everyone <3!

[ayautjaslover]

Yautja Finds Their S/O making a weapon from a rock they found pretty.

(This was inspired by a YouTube short I came across of a man making a spear tip out of blue glass)

Sitting on the soft pelts your oh so loving mate gave you, you continued chipping away at the large hunk of amethyst your darling had found on a hunt. Looking at the pretty rock you thought, what better way to commemorate the hunt and gift than by making your lover a weapon out of it? Knowing how much they love testing out new armour and equipment you were more than happy to sit and make them a new one. Continuing your intentional chipping at the outline you marked on the precious stone you hear a strong knock on the large metal door beside you. "Come in!" You chirped happily knowing exactly who it is. Before you could finish the door opened and walked through your mate. Curiously looking down on your little project they clicked their mandibles. "What is this my little ooman?" They speak their voice deep and tone curious. Looking away from your project and turning your attention towards them you explain that you're making a new blade for them. "I know that you've been keeping an eye out for a new one so I thought I'd make you one out of this." You pause for a moment holding it up to the sunlight that's peeking its way through the blinds. "Look at the way it gleams In the sun, it's so pretty!" You gush. Still holding it up you notice your mate clasping their fingers around the unfinished blade, closely studying it with a look of pure pride on their face. "Do you like it? The right side still needs to be shaped but it's very sh-." Cutting you off your mate placed the blade down on your work bench before enclosing you in their big burly arms and burying their face into your neck. Mandibles clicking, chirping and speaking in what you assume to be their mother tongue. Loosening their grip on you and coming up to look at you clearly they give you the most adoring look ever. "Love it, I will honour this gift by only using it on my next hunt. I am so very proud of you ooman."

Nothing to long for my first post, I thought I'd keep it short and sweet. I absolutely adore the idea of making your yautja a weapon out of something they gifted you 😭.

(Also feel free to send in any requests!!)

This gif is so silly.

[flowersandbigteeth]

Does the Hesian rancher have a name yet? What does he look like; anything like Nasos?

The rancher does have a name, I just haven't dropped it, but it doesn't hurt to mention it here...it is Kostas in my files

All Hesians are about ten feet tall, with four eyes (ranging in colors from yellow and gold to green), large, sharp teeth, and long, strong tails with flexible tips. They have red skin that has traces of their biological predecessors in the form of a pattern of red and sometimes black scales across their bodies.

They tend to be barrel chested, but compared to an Ozil (who would be among the largest in this universe) they are on the leaner side. That is, of course, relative, they are all ten feet tall with legs and arms like tree trunks. Kostas is thicker than his cousin, who is a spacer, because he works out all day with big livestock.

His bottom two eyes are two different shades of mossy green and his top two eyes are bright gold. He has black, shiny hair that has a thicker follicle than human hair so it is a bit heavier. His falls around his face to his chin and he usually pulls half of it up in a little, stubby ponytail to keep it out of his eyes.

Hesian's don't have a ton of natural body hair due to their scales, but the rancher has dark stubble after a day or two of not shaving.

As cousins Nasos and he look similar, though Kostas is objectively more handsome, but Nasos has short cropped hair and is leaner. Though Kostas is physically stronger, Nasos is better in a fight.

Just as a side note, as cousins they get along great and are good friends, though Kostas doesn't understand how Nasos can stand to live on a spaceship. ^_^

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Alien Master Post

Prometheus

I love Prometheus, Here’s Why

Prometheus is a Perfect Movie About Perfect Characters

Why Do People Hate Prometheus So Much?

[monstersandmaw]

Alien: "Ah, your planet orbits Sol, the star that forms the gnathopod of our zeeblererax constellation!"

Human: "the what?"

Alien: "Zeeblererax, one of the twelve animals of the kp'rpthii zodiac."

The 'Hitchhikers' vibes are strong with this one

[within-ur-intro-verse]

Throughout his whole life, Till's hair has always been as naturally wild and willful as his spirit.

The only time we see it straighter and more manageable is when he seems to have given up.

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

I saw a Youtube comment talking about how, in the episode "Crosscross," Silas was able to track Jack's location and personal info via social media, so why didn't the Decepticons just do THAT all this time, so they could track the humans/Autobot base?

Then all the commenters agreed that it's because the CAPTCHA "I am not a robot" thing actually works on Decepticons, because they are, in fact robots.

I love this and it shall now be my crack headcanon.

(In all seriousness, I actually don't think it's a plot hole. I think it's a great example of the Decepticons' characterization.

The real reason Decepticons never tried social media tracking is because they're too proud to use human technology. To them, it's considered "inferior."

I'm fascinated by the idea that, if they hadn't underestimated human technology, they could have found all these Autobot secrets, like the location of their base and humans, EASILY. But they never bothered, because "oh, that's worthless human tech."

Keep in mind, in one episode, Starscream actually did explore the human internet, and almost located Bumblebee that way, but the others made fun of him for it (the tap-dancing monkey incident) so we can see they don't respect it enough to give it their time.

It also kinda shows how MECH, to some extent, has an advantage against the Autobots because they're all humans, and are therefore better aquatinted with Earth. Even Airachnid didn't realize social media would be a useful weapon until Silas explained it to her. The Decepticons are obviously more powerful since they're giant aliens, but MECH uses their humanity and Earth knowledge as their greatest strength. It's kinda neat.