#batfamily hcs

[undertheredhood]

AU where a robber breaks into the manor but the batkids are there and are actively encouraging the robber to loot the entire house

[winged-bat]

Hii, do you have some more batfam headcanons?

IWNDBWJWK I love that I saw this ask right when i was thinking about them

- Tim always eats his bagels sandwiched together

- Dick keeps hair ties on his wrist all the time

- Damian keeps cat food with him whenever he goes out to feed the stray cats

- Bruce sits crisscross apple sauce in every chair he sits on (even board meetings theirs no escaping the crisscross apple sauce)

- Dick hates washing utensils with a passion (this came to me bc i had to go wash dishes in the middle of this)

- Steph sings along to every song even if she’s never heard it before

- Dick kills every plant he’s ever tried to grow (he follows all the guides to take care of it but it always dies)

- Cass’s go to sitting position is with one leg to her chest and the other moving the wheelie chair (its her favorite chair)

- Alfred the cat went to Tim for cuddles one time then slapped him unprovoked (this happened to me once actually, my cat was in my lap and i was petting him then he just slapped me 🥲)

[reineydraws]

jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌

✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️

[strawberrylet]

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

[vivianthepigeon]

Tim: “I need to tell you something”

Bruce: “What did you do??”

Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”

Bruce: “what did you do???”

Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”

Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”

Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”

—————

Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“

Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”

Jason: “I got a DUI”

Bruce: “Jason!”

Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”

Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”

Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”

Bruce: “I don’t follow.”

Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”

Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”

—————

Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”

Jason: “He knows.”

Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”

[violent138]

In universe, Dick Grayson's equivalent of Bruce dropping out of med school is absolutely everyone demanding to know why he didn't go to the Olympics with his gymnastics abilities.

[appleswan]

Jason knows that when he approaches kids in his entire get up that they're scared of him, and in crises that's... not great. So he's taken to carrying sticker books with him. He has enough pockets for it. He offers the kids stickers, and he lets them put the stickers on his helmet. He has dozens of Red Hood helmets now, all of them have an amalgamation of new and faded stickers.

The rest of the family tries to make fun of him for it, but Jason just holds out his sticker books like "You seem stressed, have a sticker."

[begaycommittreason]

a non-comprehensive list of reasons why bruce has tried banning halloween in the manor

1. dick was overly trusting of clowns as a child. he still holds the family record for most kidnappings in a single night

2. jason tried wearing his robin uniform as a costume. every. year.

3. jason then graduated to dressing up as his corpse and haunting (traumatizing) his brothers

4. cass always manages to scare him. no clark he does not shriek.

5. tim, duke, and steph got ‘spooky scary skeletons’ stuck in his head and martian manhunter started laughing at him in a JL meeting because of it

6. damian was followed and subsequently kidnapped by what they assumed was a group of very tall trick or treaters, but were actually just the league

7. that time of year is when jerry the turkey gets a little self aware (re: defensive). there have been incidents.

8. he walked downstairs only to be greeted with every member of his family dressed like green lantern. even alfred.

9. young justice decided to throw a giant party and to get in you had to wear the shittiest batman costume possible for their contest

10. jason won said contest. he didn’t even stay for the party, he just wanted the excuse

11. gotham rogues are drama kids and are therefore sluts for good thematic irony, so half of them do special edition attacks on halloween

12. the kids all do a candy swap at the end of the night, they invite kate and not him

13. tim has an allergy to peppermint and never seems to be aware of this, so he has to keep multiple epi pens on standby

14. he’s expected to wear slutty costumes and that’s just not worth his playboy cover

15. alfred only confiscates the candy he gets

16. he was just really hungover one year

17. damian has made them all watch coraline so. many. times. he doesn’t even get nightmares anymore

18. tim goes on a sugar high and has to be put on tech lockdown or he might frame lex luthor for murder and extort 90% of gotham’s elite

19. when dick and jason were younger they left open pumpkins outside his door and he would accidentally step in them every morning

20. damian tried to convince them to bob for apples with lazarus water

21. tim fell asleep while bobbing for apples (in normal water) and almost drowned

22. dick and steph drew a glittery skeleton over the batsuit

23. when he complains they all call him the grinch. it’s not even christmas.

24. pumpkin carving always leads to them flinging the innards at eachother and making a mess even alfred refuses to clean

25. the validity of candy corn argument comes to blows. every. single. year.

26. duke lead a revolt one year against the tyranny of bruce’s “no slanderous costumes” policy (he wanted to be slutty batman)

27. the kids throw a rager in the cave and somehow never get caught. it’s the only time they’re all willing to clean and it pisses bruce off that he can’t prove it.

28. bruce got sick and clark walked around the watchtower in a batman costume pretending to be him for two days

29. steph and dick glued the lorax mustache to him while he was sleeping because he refused to pick a costume. it didn’t come off for a week, and lois posted an article speculating he was secretly a natural ginger.

30. all the kids stayed in once and watched ‘it’s the great pumpkin charlie brown’ instead of partying and he’s been trying to get them to do it again ever since

[thief-of-eggs]

Cass doesn’t look, she glares

Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.

Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.

Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.

Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.

Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.

Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.

Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.

It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.

It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.

Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.

[strange-birb]

Cough*

Jason’s design……

Next time I’m going to go ham with platforms on him like 👀

Not really a design I app for him. I feel like he’s not gonna go all out he’s just vibing idk. He set the makeup being the most prominent thing. His theme is dead boi

He does actually have the scars but I figure paint them all glowey and no one questions it?

He has fun being the zombie on stage and watching his family squirm when they see him in all the makeup lol

Blue lips cold skin wrecked fingernails

Bruce would have an attack 🤣

I don’t really know what to do with Jason’s designs and I’m open to any ideas fr

Official secret band AU!!!

Steph is drummer. Tim singer. Jason guitarist

I’m debating adding another but it won’t be batfam 🤷‍♀️

[ahfrickenfrick]

dick: truth or dare

damian: i do not want to play your mindless games, richard.

dick: come on dami, you want tim to beat you?

damian: i was not aware that this game had a point system… get prepared to forfeit out of embarrassment, drake

tim: whatever baby bat, answer his question truth or dare?

damian: *tt* truth, as i have nothing to hide

dick: why do you call tim by his last name and the rest of us by our first? i thought you two have gotten better?

damian: dare

dick: i dare you to answer the question

tim: i also would like to know

damian: *mumbles something*

dick: what was that??

tim: speak up gremlin

damiam: *begrudgingly* drake means dragon, and that is really cool

[undertheredhood]

are you really a batfam member if you aren’t using the ‘dumb ways to die’ song as a survivalist checklist?

[winged-bat]

small bunch of hcs that have been collecting dust in the drafts for too long

- Jason has put to least amount of money in the swear jar

- Whenever someone texts the wrong number and gets any batfam member they play along with it and have whole ass conversations with random people over text

- Dick is banned from serval museums for seeing if he could fit in/through the displays

- Duke rushes doing hw as the teacher collects it but never gets in trouble/called out for it (he’s that one student that the teacher thinks is an angel but is actually behind all the shit)

- There has been a lot of random haircuts thoughout the years that they have a room of wigs for when they go wrong and don’t have time to fix it before an event or something

- Theres a magnet collection somewhere in the manor but no one knows who the collection belongs to just that theres something if everything in there

[fawnindawn]

Jason Todd smells like gunpowder, leather and old books. He’s always donning a leather jacket, the same one regardless of how worn out it is. It’s become soft due to the material stretching over his muscles, and it looks almost too small on him with the way the cuffs grip at his wrists. Refuses to get a new one, abandonment issues run strong even with non-animate objects. Has favourites when it comes to guns. Pats them occasionally, strapped beneath his jacket or on his thigh in habit. Names them and gives them a kiss after a mission well done. Ridiculously hot in combat, only cause he likes to show off. Swings his guns just for the flare. You think he’d be less of a threat without them. He just gets worse. Fist fighting with him is your worst nightmare because he enjoys the sound of bone-breaking from pure strength. Bandages over his knuckles always. Never heals with how often he gets into brawls. Large, veiny hands, scar-filled. Huge biceps. Thick neck. Even thicker thighs. He’s just huge. Getting pinned by him means it’s game over. Yet, somehow you never hear him approach till he wants you to. Black, tousled hair that casts shadows over his eyes. Turquoise eyes turned green from the Lazarus Pit. They have this unnatural glow, evident in the dark. Always running from place to place, cause he can’t stand coming back to an empty apartment. Adrenaline junkie. On the rare occasion he’s not plotting something to piss off Bruce, or crushing gang ops, he can be caught in a second-hand bookstore flipping through classic literature. Earphones plugged in with either rap or jazz, no in-between, he’s delicate with books as he flips through the pages. A startling contrast to any Gotham citizen, peering in and seeing a gym hunk hoarding the narrow space between bookcases, holding a miniature sized novel by Jane Austen.

[weewoow-20706030]

I think it's funny to think that Damian is one of the last guesses when people get asked which is Bruce's bio kids.

Like- only gothamites know which is the bio kid. Think about it, a gothamite asks someone from metropolis who is the bio son of this tall white man with straight black hair and blue eyes, very muscular figure. It's either:

Slightly tan guy with blue eyes and black hair with a slight wave. Who is tall and lean.

White man with black hair and green eyes, built like a tank and towering over most.

White man with straight black hair and blue eyes, and short.

A black kid.

A Chinese girl.

A boy with brown skin, black hair and green eyes.

[vivianthepigeon]

Bruce and his batbrats

Edit: fanon Bruce