#bring back alfred pennyworth

[theerurishipper]

Honestly, I do love Dick as Nightwing and Bruce and Dick's complicated relationship, but sometimes I like the old days when things were sweet and simple you know? When it was just them and Alfred and they all had fun with each other. Like when they blew off boring parties to go on patrol by using Dick's bedtime as an excuse. When Bruce let Dick go off on his own and said he was allowed "a little escapade" and ruffled his hair. When Alfred always brought coffee and "turkey sandwiches with Swiss cheese" to the Batcave while Dick and Bruce happily talked about their nightlife escapades. When Dick would make Bruce laugh regularly.

When they discussed Hamlet while riding in the Batmobile. When Alfred picked Dick up from school and dropped him off on dates and helped him go behind Bruce's back on cases. When Dick and Bruce would play fight with each other. When Dick made Batman's meetings with Gordon "more optimistic." When Bruce was being a helicopter parent and wanting to know why Dick would want to go to a public school. When Dick would sneak off with Clark when Bruce wanted him to stay back to finish his homework, and Clark did it for him before Bruce noticed. When Bruce teased Dick about his failed date, and they talked about it and their love lives. When Bruce apparently told stories about Joker to Dick during rides in the Batmobile. When Dick was actually the one who named the aforementioned Batmobile. When they would banter even in between a serious case. When Dick would cling onto Bruce to annoy him. When Dick was contemplating how alone he felt, and Bruce just showed up to catch him and do a routine on the trapeze with him. When Bruce would call Dick "kiddo." When Dick even called him stuff like "Bruce-ter." When Bruce used to call Dick "chum." I miss those days.

Yeah a lot of these are from Robin: Year One but that's just because it's the one I remember most. But there's a lot of them just having a good time and it doesn't feel like we see a lot of that anymore.

[flamingpudding]

Nice Cosplay, dude!

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Just get in, beat the criminals, dismantle the bomb and get out again, preferably with no injuries so they all would get to enjoy Alfred's cookies at the end of the night.

But no. Of course things couldn't be simple. Not when Constantine suddenly enters their coms, screaming something about a multidimensional rip and then Jason shouting something about seeing a whirlpool of green that feels very very bad and then Dick started cursing at B being stubborn and....

Tim buried his face in his hands. At least thanks to Jason seeing that Lazarus Pit like Portal everyone believed him this time that Bruce was still alive but this time not lost in time but apparently thrown into another dimension. Though that wasn't making the situation any better. Because Tim was sure Alfred was the only reason the Manor was still standing otherwise his siblings and himself included would have destroyed it by now.

Damian's enraged shout echoed through the Cave, followed by another death threat made by Jason and then Dick's attempt at being the voice of reason. Dear god, they needed to figure out where B was or someone might die.... or at least get maimed by his siblings be it a criminal or one of them.

Hopefully Constantin or anyone else of the JL Dark will have figured out in which dimension B had gotten thrown into.

Meanwhile...

Batman was staring down at the white-haired kid with Lazarus green glowing eyes wearing a jumpsuit and still had green splatter on his cheeks. The kid was grinning at him with big round eyes that reminded him of Dick when he was younger.

He would have believed the kid innocent if it weren't for 1. The glowing green eyes that reminded him of his second oldest phases of pit madness and 2. The fact that he had just watched the kid beat up a ghost like being he, Batman, had not been able to land a single hit on before imprisoning that being into a thermos.

The kid clearly was a vigilante in the working and for a split second Bruce wondered how his children would react to an interdimensional sibling if he mentored the kid. First of all... the boy needed more protection. That flimsy suit was not offering enough of that. Second the kid should wear a mask. Running around with his face openly in view would only spell trouble for the boy and thitd training the kid needed to learn-

"Wow dude, that's an awesome cosplay of Batman! It looks like it's right out of the comics!"

Batmans thoughts on mentoring the kid came to a screeching halt as he stared at the kid. And gruffly repeated. "Comics?"

[supermxnthathoe]

Sometimes I'm just sitting there happily and then I remember that DC killed Alfred off in the main continuity.

I keep waiting for a 'syke he's alive' moment -WHICH WE DID GET IN BATMAN versus ROBIN- but it turned out it was just a demon cosplaying Alfred to trick Batman for Damian's hot great granny.

DC keeps wounding me and then refusing to give me bandages.

Not only was the way he died absolutely tragic BUT THE SHIT BRUCE SAYS TO DAMIAN AFTERWARDS.

It wasn't cute. It wasn't funny. DC needs to take it back rn because my feelings can't handle this.

(if you're curious about when Alfred dies; it's Batman #77-- I'm not sure when it is that the demon pretends to be him but it's sometime in Batman Vs Robin.

Damian also briefly hallucinates Alfred in his solo Robin run, which is Robin Vol 5 which happens almost directly after the events of Batman #77 and that whole debacle and follows the Lazarus Tournament storyline- READ IT, IT's SO GOOD)

[borntolatetohaveaname]

alfred pennyworth really is just HIM like no one else in dc does it like he does it

man was a spy banged the queen of england and raised bruce wayne. he single handedly keep the bat family functioning half of the time and mf still a think they can step up to him and try to tell him what to do

(I'm aware that he is currently dead but it's dc so really how long is that going to last?)

[meara-eldestofthemall]

Is it wrong of me to want this batfam back (with Cass and Duke)? At the very least can we please have Alfred back? Things have gone to crap since DC killed him off. Can you imagine Alfred Pennyworth allowing Bruce to get away with his current behavior towards his kids? He's perhaps the only person who can tell Bruce the unvarnished truth and get away with it.

Alfred is so awesome that he's even come back from the dead to lecture his wayward boy.

No one else in Bruce's life can fill Alfred's role. He's father, friend and mentor. Bruce is a grown man and shouldn't need Alfred to keep him in line. He also shouldn't need his kids to keep him from going too far but he does. How many times in the past year or so have his kids (hello Tim) had to step up and save him? Alfred would never have let Bruce get this bad. So please bring back Alfred, DC. Someone has to keep Bruce in line and no one is better at it than Alfred Pennyworth.

[martyrbat]

the man who falls – secret origins (1989)

[ID: Bruce Wayne walking into the Wayne Manor, the big doorway behind him as he and Alfred carry in Bruce's luggage. Bruce is wearing a light, pinkish fringed jacket with a flared collar and matching trousers. Alfred is wearing a white shirt with an open, black jacket and pinstriped pants. END ID]

[blue-avis]

 Batfamily incorrect quote #1?

Bruce: “Alfred what would you say if I came back with… oh I don’t know… an Orphan”

Alfred looking at Bruce’s ruffling cape: “What’s in your cape master Bruce?”

Bruce with his voice cracking: “I think you know”

[drrandombear]

THERE HE IS! THE REASON I DECIDED TO WATCH THIS SHOW His design is just mwah so beautiful also hes a little gremlin man Red head Oz is a wonderful design please i love it so much (also his can is snazzy as hell) Fight scene pics cause I love him

[laufire]

I go back and forth on whether I like gotham's alfred or not. in many other respects the answer could be yes but, fully admitting my utter lack of objectivity, the metric that guides me is "how nice is he being to selina in this particular moment?"

[desperatecheesecubes]

Alfred used to write fanfic about Bruce!?

[anicomicgeek]

Sign that someone shouldn't write a comic or should have what they've done immediately undone the second they leave: If it's a fucking Twitter hot take.

[emacrow]

Alfred was about to go on his annual grocery shopping excepted... he didn't count on bringing a baby in a basket home.

It was that time again for alfred to get some much needed groceries replenishment as he has noticed a great shrinkage in the food pantry..

Going to his annual favorite grocery store that had his favorite teas, exotic spices and blueberries cheese cake that was to die for.

Collecting 3 carts full of ingredients, food and snacks with the new assistance workers help of a nice young ladies with blue flaming like hair and orange hair.

He was done with his groceries shopping in less then 3 hours and had his groceries helped back in his personal car by the two young workers.

He make sure to tip them extra generously, the young lady with the orange hair look up to him with a almost misty light blue eyes as she cling to the money to her chest.

"Thank you.." She whispered quietly but he heard it well enough as he nods getting in his car and driving back to Wayne Manor. Unaware of a extra basket added in the backseat with other groceries bags.

Once he arrived around 6am in the morning , he picked each groceries bags and brought to the kitchen along side help of sleep deprived Tim who was only here to get his Death wish Coffee espresso that he just ran out yesterday.

He was now just organizing everything in the correct place until there was only the last thing left was in a brown basket..

Tim had just escaped with his freshly brew cup of death coffee.

That was when Alfred heard a distant noise... coming from the basket.

A coo.. that he haven't heard in decades.

A little baby coo.

Alfred walk softly towards the basket as he peek in a bit forward to see a tiny little fluffy of blue baby cap with a small baby suckling onto a galaxy theme pacifier, tiny yet bright blue eyes and a scatter of freckles.

Along with a letter addressed to him as grandfather Pennyworth. Signed by his great great great granddaughter.

[thesuperiorrobin]

➳ Reminder that all of these are Female reader insert

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── one shots ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

✶| Headline |

➳ Dating Damian Wayne was It’s pros and cons, cons being the press follows you almost every where when you’re alone or with Damian.

✶| Truth hurts |

➳ you find the truth about that scar on his chest

✶| He has feelings? | part two |

➳ Damian has been coming home late after his patrol, coming home smelling like strong feminine perfume. His brother follow him one night and they are in for a surprise

✶| Her laughter brings me joy |

➳Damians is in loved with the way you laugh. His brothers tease him about it

| “I promise I’m not scared of you” |

➳scarecrow uses you as bait and an experiment for his fear toxin leaving you in fear of someone precious to you

✶ | Is that my shirt? |

➳ playing with Titus a fun but sometimes he gets a little to competitive

✶| “Kind hard to focus when you look like that” |

➳ Damian find you staring at him while he does his daily workout session

✶ | “I don’t like sleeping alone anymore” |

➳ Damian confronts you after acting weird this past couple of days only to find out you haven’t been sleeping, but for what reason?

✶| “He’s only soft with you ” |

➳ Damians really whipped for you if he’s nice

✶ | “He lost his virginity!?” |

➳ the batfamily notice Damian acting off these past couple of months and come up with weird ideas as to why

✶ | “Don’t say a word about this” | Ft: Alfred|

➳ Pennyworth has to keep yet another secret

✶ | Media is stupid |

➳ you and Damian play with social apps—giving people taste of your love life

✶ | “Dance with me ” |

➳ you and Damian dance together at one of Bruce’s Galas and the attention is set on both of you.

✶ | lipstick Stain | part 1 | Part 2 |

➳ a TikTok trend that leads to the media coming crazy

✶ | “Crazy idea let’s make out” |

➳ teens being teens Y’know?

✶ | punished by my body |

➳ period are never fun. Especially when they keep you from killing you for seeing Damian.

✶ | untitled |

✶ | Rainy days |

➳ Damian realizes that the rain rain always put you in a mood—getting moody once you fix your attention one the thunder rather then his lips

✶ | Thoughts |

➳ Damian is neglecting his duties as being your husband—I’m result puts bad thought in your head that make your two confront him about it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Headcannons ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

✮ Damian Wayne, the blood son of playboy billionaire Bruce way. Damian Wayne doesn’t live up to the playboy title like his father back in the day

✮ Fem!Reader having a crush on Damian Wayne

✮ Boyfriend!Damian Wayne

✮ Hispanic!Fem!Reader

✮ Damian Wayne doesn’t get crushes

✮ husband! Damian Wayne

✮ bat boys type

✮ random Damian Wayne headcannons

✮ Platonic reader

✮ Quality time

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── scenarios─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

❀ Damian Wayne hates galas , more then he hates his brothers.

❀ Damian ‘Clingy’ Wayne

❀ his bed is more comfortable

❀ “I loves you’s” coming from him

❀ Damian’s not a big fan of holidays

❀ thinking about league of assassins! Damian Wayne

❀ he’s sick to his stomach every time he looks at you

❀ never question why’s your hair is always up

❀ Damian doesn’t get sick often but when he does…

❀ argument | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Random─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

✄ incorrect quotes!

One, two, three, four, five, Six, Seven(Jason Todd)

✄ Instagram!

One, two, three

✄ message between you two!

One, two

This is a years worth of writing that I managed to put on one page 🥲

Just let me know if any of the links aren’t working

[vodrae]

Babs: Coppblepot is hosting a charity party tonight, who's crashing it ? I've heard there will be a giant cake.

Bruce: I'm a married and respectable man now. Brucie is on airplane mode.

Dick: I would love to but I promised Olivia to watch cartoons with her tonight.

Jay: Me !

Babs: You're still dead Jaybird.

Jay: Owh...

Tim: Tomorrow I have a conference at the white house so, I'd love to, but I can't.

Stephanie: The cake doesn't deserve it, why can't I crash Penguin's face ?

Cass: ^^^^

Babs: No. You and sugar equals no, boo.

Duke: It would be my first time ! Yeah !

Bruce: And for that, Luthor's thanksgiving gala is all yours.

Damian: Can I call back up ?

Babs: Ask Clark too if you bring Jon.

Damian: Jon ?

The day after:

GRANDFATHER, MOTHER AND SON, ALFRED PENNYWORTH, TALIA HEAD AND DAMIAN WAYNE ENGAGING IN CAKE FIGHT, IS BRUCIE CONTAGIOUS ?

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

People who complain that Bruce Wayne is a bad person cause he "doesn't do enough" are so annoying fr.

"He just dresses up and punches mentally ill people" yeah and sends them to a facility to help them (of which many HAVE gotten better [see Waylon Jones]). A facility that has had the corruption ripped from the roots up purely for the sake of helping his own enemies. No matter how many times they break out and try to kill him, he sends them back to be rehabilitated. He only fights them because they have ice rays and mind control and all that. But even in fighting them, he usually only goes all out on the clown. He canonically tries to be soft with Harley and even temporarily gave her a job.

"He doesn't do anything with his money" bitch?? What do you think Wayne Enterprises does?? What do you think the Jason Todd Foundation is??? Why do you think he's poured his money several times into fixing Arkham Asylum??? Like bro there's literally an entire cult of other billionaires who unironically spend their time and money dismantling Bruce's efforts. He's doing the best he can with what he's got.

"He brings children into his war" Dick, Jason, Barbara, Harper, Stephanie, Duke, and Lance all either did or tried to do vigilante work without Bruce's help. Other characters like Tim and Damian refused to accept a no. He instead gave these kids a support network to do vigilante work safer and more efficiently and have them people to call family.

"The kids die or get hurt" Jason died after being betrayed by his own mother, Stephanie "died" after directly going against his orders, Tim was blown up by drones controlled by Steph's dad, Barbara was paralyzed in an attempt to upset her father, and Lance died after taking the costume and getting shot all without Bruce's knowledge (hence why it's important he takes the kids under his wing).

"He doesn't affect crime rates" in Gotham maybe, but see the Court of Owls mentioned above. He works with the JLA and JSA to take down crime all across the world and galaxy. He founded Batman Inc, a network of Batman ripoffs across the world who keep in touch, use each other's resources, and get backup from each other to fight crime in their corners of the world.

Hell, even "he's a bad father" is just bad writing. He's actually a very caring father, even if he does maybe struggle. He gave Jason his own damn library and he allows Damian to keep a whole army of weird pets (including a literal demon). He took Damian in upon learning about his existence, allowed him to express himself as Robin, sent him to school, taught him morals and compassion, and LITERALLY WENT TO HELL TO RETRIEVE HIS SOUL WHEN HE DIED. He took in Cass despite knowing Shiva would retaliate. He taught her to speak and he encouraged her to learn ballet. He even officially adopted Dick, Jason, and Tim in 3 separate emotional moments. And also bro literally adopted a piece of an alien hivemind (Jarro best Robin).

Like he was raised by Alfred-motherfucking-Pennyworth. There was never a chance he would turn out as corrupt.

[e-nonsense]

Ok so I absolutely love your batsis stories. But may I ask of you to make one where Batsis smuggles a baby capybara into the manor?

Like in the dead of night brings it home and the 1st person to figure it out is technically Ace then Damian?

If not, that's fine.

pairing. Batfamily x batsis!reader

summary. Reader smuggles (and fails) her new pet into the manner.

warnings. swearing, jason Todd. NOT PROOFREAD

authors notes. i feel like I’m known for my batsis works and thank youuuu i genuinely enjoy writing batsis. capybara’s are lowkey kinda cute. How did I forget to post this?

wc. 0.?k

You shrieked nearly silently as you tried to hush Ace’s barks and growls at the fuzzy small animals in your arms. You shuffle as silently as possible, as it was an hour past midnight. Ace’s growling was making hard though.

The animal in your arms was fast asleep thankfully, you ran up the stairs, skipping steps as you went up. You made it to your room quickly, shutting the door just as soon as Ace made it in as well.

Your room was neat, the back wall was a bookshelf, filled to the brim with not your books but Jason’s. As your older brother spent most of his time brooding in your room.

You dimmed the lights so it wasn’t too bright for the animal in your arms, Ace growled at it again before jumping onto your bed claiming his spot on the comfortable mattress.

A knock on your door startled you, “ukhti?” His title for you in Arabic came through the door. “Are you awake?”

Swearing under your breath you placed the baby capybara on your bed, hiding it behind a pillow. Ace growled again and you glared at him, the brave dog looked down and pretended to sleep in response.

Creaking your bedroom door open and looking down at your little brother’s tan face, “hi Dami. What can I do for you?”

“Ace was barking,” he murmured, half asleep. Tonight was one of the few nights he stayed back from patrol.

“Oh, yeah he was just..” you shrugged, huffing at the unamused look on the boys face. “No use lying to you huh,” you snorted, stepping aside for him to enter.

“But you gotta keep it a secret,” he raises a brow but nods in agreement.

“Okay.”

You moved to your bed lifting the pillow to reveal the sleeping baby capybara. You grinned sheepishly as you stroked its fur.

“We are keeping it,” Damian nodded. “No matter what Father and Pennyworth say.”

You raised a brow in amusement before agreeing.

The two of you spent the next hour and a half fighting over names for the capybara before deciding to get a second opinion when Jason stormed in swearing at Bruce.

He froze and stared at you and Damian. “What the fuck is that?” He pointed to the capybara. He didn’t like the look you and Damian shared, now he was sat on your bed, a book open in front of him.

“This is bullshit,” he huffed boredly, eyes scanning over the words on the page. The position he was sat in comfortable, you and Damian had fallen asleep on him and now he was stuck between the two of you.

A week had passed since that night and the three of you hid the capybara — “Jason Jr” you had decided much to Damian’s disappointment — hidden from Bruce. Your other siblings pitching in after they found out.

One morning you were all sitting at the dinning table, a rare occurrence considering your family. The room was quiet while Bruce eyed you and Damian.

“So. Either of you want to explain this?” He asks, pointing at Alfred, who’s carrying your capybara.

You and Damian share a glance before you offer Bruce a sheepish smile. “It’s a long story?”

“We have time,” Bruce says leaning back in his seat.

There was no story, truthfully you just saw it and thought it was cute, but that didn’t stop you from fabricating a lie.

© hells-escapees. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off