#bruce wayne's adoption problems

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Need a fic where Bruce acquires all his Robins (and his other non-Robin kids too) early for some reason or another and it's all cute and fluff except for Dick Grayson who somehow happens to be gone every time it happens and gets to come home and find a new kid every time he leaves and he's just so done.

Dick, 13 and just back from hanging out at Titans tower: hi, what are you doing here?

Tiny Jason: I stole Bruce Wayne's tires and he caught me so he kidnapped me.

Dick: He did what?!

Bruce, just walking in to the full extent of the glare of his eldest: I didn't kidnap you, I adopted you.

Tiny Jason: he rich-people-kidnapped me.

Dick *smiles in 'I have a headache'*

[ravenlilyrose]

Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.

Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”

Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*

Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”

Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’

And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?

Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.

Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.

[prlssprfctn]

To this day, I think the crack-au with Jason joining Bruce Wayne alike competition for fun and accidentally winning, and this becoming a reason why the whole Batfamily finds out that Jason is alive in the first place, is the funniest version of a fix-it scenario.

[luminanightfall]

#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#eldritch danny#batman#bruce wayne's adoption problems#dad clockwork#ghost king danny phantom#the observants are always causing more trouble than what they solve#Danny's so over them#kinda feel like it'd be neat to see Bruce yelling at them for whag they've done to Damny#as a treat

"Right—" He fiddles with his sweater. "Sorry about the- uh, time travel and stuff."

Batman was so confused.

"My Gramps, he kind oversees those? He found out you were my favourite to watch, gave you more adventures because of me."

Batman huffs, turning in the chair to view the child fully. "You know I'm batman,"

"And Bruce Wayne, yeah."

"Do you have a name too?" He's slowly switching over to Bruce, watching the child.

"Danny, uh- sir."

Danny.

His name was Danny, he appeared out of nowhere as he was on the bat computer and apologised for something.

Now wasn't that a reason to apologise if all things.

[rad-batson]

Broke: Batman has the most complex passwords imaginable because he’s paranoid that a supervillain will infiltrate his tech or the batcave and steal sensitive information.

Woke: Bruce has the most complex passwords imaginable because his kids won’t stop hacking into the bat computer so they can throw themselves into even more danger unsupervised.

Bespoke: Bruce has the most complex passwords imaginable because he’s personal friends with literally half of the rogues gallery, and they keep fucking changing his wallpaper every time they come over for game night.

[ghost-bxrd]

The Pied Piper of Hamelin but make it Red Hood accidentally amassing a loyal following of street kids in Crime Alley that systematically sabotages the Bats whenever they get a little too close to catching him, including but not limited to staging brawls and muggings.

The Bats think there must be some kind of mind control going on because ain’t no way that kids flock to a violent crime lord without some type of magic or bribe involved.

Jason doesn’t know about any of this until there’s a group of furious kids jumping Batman, and another group teens dragging him away from where his neck had been kindly sliced open by his kind-of father.

[dancepartyaroundthefairyring]

No one in the Justice League expect Batman to be the one that's good with babies/kids, but he is and eventually he becomes the go-to when dealing with kids

Need to wait with a child while the authorities are on the way? Batman

Crying baby found after the battle? Batman

This isn't a problem until Nightwing joins the league, where suddenly the league go to hand off this lost child to Batman and they're dealing with a scowling Nightwing going off about how their all enablers and he, Nightwing, doesn't need more siblings

[shycorvid]

AU where Bruce still goes away to train and becomes Batman, but like at an extremely young age. He ran away and gave Alfred a heart attack, and then came back from training in the LOA, with all the 14 year old teenaged angst he can muster.

One day they go to the circus because Alfred is running out of normal bonding activities that Bruce hasn't gotten them banned from yet. Except Dick’s parents die and Bruce demands they do something about it. So Alfred adopts Dick. Then Bruce brings Jason home. And Tim. And Alfred keeps getting more and more children. The relationship dynamics between them all are different because Bruce is the oldest BROTHER and has no authority over them, so when they want to fight crime too he really has no say in it.

Bruce- (15-17 years old and full of rage) Can’t you stop them, Alfred?! Alfred- Oh, so they can run away to the League of Assassins as you did? Now, go to the Batcave and teach Master Timothy how to throw a proper punch. Bruce- Ugh. This is so unfair.

[factual-flittermouse]

He pulled a Batman

[dio-niisio]

I'm a bit obsessed with the idea that Batman can't find anything on Captain Marvel. Like the guy tries but is quite literally impossible!

Sure he CAN find some of Captain "old selfs" (just other people that where the champions of magic at some point), he's in vases, murals and even cave paintings! But new Marvel nothing. All Batman knows is that the face of Captain Marvel change over time.

And it doesn't help that his Dad instinct™ is going on overdrive!!

Like Marvel accidentally said that his name is Billy and now Batman is only calling him William (cuz that is the only information that he has on him...) and is starting to upset Marvel cuz that is uncle used to call him before he stole all his money and put him in the system , and he only uses when he's mad at him (just like a parent will use their kid full name when they are mad at them…). So one day he asks - in private - that he can quit doing that. And that his name is Billy not Willian "I choose it myself. Please respect that."

And now the newest theory is that Captain is a shapeshifter, that not only change the way they look over time but that comes with a name change that should be respected.

It only gets funnier when he figures out that Billy is actually a child, an 12 year old child, that has been his colleague for almost 5 years. That man is not well.

[dasha022]

Just see this little cute angel gremlin!! I love my baby Danny!

[mimiyarts-dc-comics]

[flamingpudding]

do you still take requests? if you do can you write your take on this idea https://www.tumblr.com/ilydana/746501696852819968/cloneclonedbatman?source=share

Thanks for the Ask! That's is an interesting one!

Also as long as I can write something to it I don't mind getting requests, if I can't I will let people know if I can. So no worries about that K?

Out of courtesy and because I believe its is the right thing to do here the Link and a Tag to the original writer @ilydana I hope you don't mind that I am taking inspiration from you for this.

Also I don't know Conners Timeline well and I like to base my writings on the Wayne Family Adventures settings so.... yea sorry if I got some facts wrong....

-------------------------------

Clone double Wamy

Thinks were never easy for the Waynes, Bruce realised that when he sat in the meeting room. Usually he would have confronted his best friend in a more private setting, like when it was just the two of them or only Diana with them. But his best friend had been grating on his nerves with this for a while now. Bruce had honestly believed Clark had gotten better with the whole Clone thing but apparently he hadn't.

"All I am saying is that Conner is a person and to stop referring to him as 'it'." Bruce wasn't sure what had this brought on but maybe it was also having listened to his own kids rants about the way Conner had been and sometimes still was treated by Clark. Usually when someone called his friend out on it he would laugh awkwardly and say it was a slip of the tongue. That he still wasn't completely used to the idea of having a clone.

It's been years and Bruce wasn't buying that excuse anymore.

Well his persistent nagging had now caused this petty fight in front of everyone. He knew his children present, Dick and Tim, would have his back as well as most of their friends. But he also knew that those that prefer to keep the peace would try to argue in Clarks favor to sweep this hole problem under the rug once more.

"You don't get what it is like to be cloned or how long it takes to get used to it!"

His eye twitched under his cowl, he could also feel his kids tense up, especially Tim. His entire family had expirence when it came to cloning. The number of labs from the LoA they had shut down and destroyed was a testament to it. But there was one thing his entire Family aside from Alfred didn't know either.

"I actually do."

He stated calmly watching Clarks reaction as he stared unwaveringly at his best friend. He could see the colour drain, the paling and the pure look of disbelief he was getting, while Nightwing and Red Robin stood up to stand behind him with crossed arms. They probably thought he was referencing the time they had to fight Damian's Clones that sadly couldn't be saved like Conner had been.

"What do you....?" His best friend started but wasn't able to finish his question as Bruce decided to rip the bandaid off.

"The original Bruce Wayne died before he even was one month old. My parents, unable to cope with the loss cloned the baby with the help of a pair of scientist from Illinois." If the situation was different he might have laughed into the faces the people around him were making, not very Batman like of him but it was kind of funny. Still he was thankful for the comforting hand his son, Dick, placed on his shoulder or the way his other son, Tim inched closer protectively like. These two while probably shocked still stood by his side.

"And i was not the only clone that resulted from my parents original grief."

He left it at that as he stood and left the meeting without any further explanation. Bruce had made his point clear, now the ball was in his friends court. He was thankful that his kids followed him out as he went straight to the Zeta-Tubes to return to the Batcave. He knew his kids had questions for him, but he was not willing to answer them in front of the other heroes and thankfully his kids knew that that. So they silently followed him until they were back to the cave.

"B?" Dick asked tentatively once they were back in the came.

"It is as simply as I stated. My parents grieved the loss of their original son and unable to cope they cloned their own child with the help of a pair of scientist." He reiterated his earlier statement not looking at the two at first. For a brief moment he was thankful his other kids were out and about busy with other things.

"A pair of scientists?" Tim propped further and Bruce sighed wondering how much he should tell or if he could keep some things secret.

"Family actually. Estranged but they were... are family." He nodded. "The Fentons. Jack Fenton was my fathers cousin. Because of his field of research he got estranged from the family, not fitting into the perfect image my great grandparents had in mind for the Waynes originally. My father contacted him for help regarding the cloning back then."

"You said you weren't the only one?" He gave Tim a small smile, it was just like him to catch on to the small details and focus his questions on that.

"I didn't know until many years later when my parents died." He smiled a little remembering back to his training with Lady Gotham and how she asked him if he had siblings and then proceeded to introduce him to his clone twin. Ever since then Danny had become quite the fixture in his life, a reconnected family member. Though they had needed a lot of help when it came to actually speaking with each other but that thankfully Danny's sister Jazz helped.

He couldn't help the laugh that escaped him when he noticed Dick's stare of realisation. "Uncle Danny!"

Bruce just smirked, chuckling lightly as he gave his eldest a slight nod. "Danny."

Dick was the most familiar with Danny having meet the other a couple of times when he was younger and just started out as Robin. Bruce wasn't ashamed to say that Danny and Alfred had been the two he had asked for advice the most when he had taken Dick in back then. Danny had already expirence in raising kids from an even younger age than Bruce had. That their two cousins Dan and Danielle were in a way clones too was however something he would not be telling his kids yet. Frankly it wasn't his place and honestly if Danny hadn't become as comfortable as he had with this fact over the year he wouldn't have outed his clone twin to his kids either.

"So...." Tim started, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "...what now? Not that it will change anything now but uh...."

"Nothing really? I mean if Clark still got a problem then well I guess we don't have a super uncle anymore? But hey maybe we could introduce Uncle Danny to Conner?" Dick shrugged turning to Tim.

"But that would mean we admit to Uncle Danny that B let us in in the secret and that could make things awkward and..."

"Tim you are overthinking! It will be fine!"

Bruce smiled as he watched his two sons start to argue wether or not to introduce Danny to Conner. Well even if they did Danny wouldn't mind it. In fact Bruce had kept his clone twin updated on a lot of things that happened with his work as Batman. One of the reasons was that Danny had started out in the hero business way sooner than Bruce had but also because Danny was his last resort contingency plan against everything.

His twin would probably laugh in their faces and ask why it took them so long to introduce them and then drag his own daughter to meet Conner so they could have some 'clone'-bonding time and knowing Danielle, she was going to drag Dan along and then Bruce himself too. Bruce chuckled at that thought, he also knew that if Clark doesn't clean up his act than Danny would most likely swoop in and adopt Conner right out of under Clarks nose.

Well all he had to say if it came to that was that his best friend wouldn't be able to blame anyone but himself then.

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

Do you think at some point Bruce stops adopting children and starts adopting grandchildren??

Like he turns up at Dick's one day and is like "this is your son, Clarence, his parents died in a freak blimp accident and he has anger issues good luck"

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Bruce already has 6-23ish kids (depending on who you count/which run you're reading) in DC canon. He really doesn't need anymore-

AO3 Fic Authors: *eyes Peter Parker* *eyes Billy Batson* *eyes Conner Kent* *eyes Roy Harper* *eyes Wally West* *eyes Danny Fenton* *eyes-*

AO3 Fic Authors: Eh, he can afford the child support.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt

Jason’s return to Gotham as the crime lord Red Hood is significantly hampered when he saves two kids from being trafficked and suddenly finds himself nagging the two to eat their vegetables and do homework on time and, dear lord, your names are Freeman and… Batson? Yeah that’s it, Jason is not waiting this one out until they’re both suddenly dressed in traffic light colors and swinging around the city with an overgrown furry.

Freddy and Billy are a bit confused by the flash adoption via menacing Gotham guy, but it certainly helps that he’s not threatening to send them into the system and that he cooks them meals every day . And also “Billy, I think he might be the new vigilante! That is so cool!” “… do you mean the new crime lord?” “Same thing! Isn’t the helmet awesome!?”

Batman and Robin are… not sure what to make of the new crime lord that, on one hand, keeps antagonizing them to no end, and on the other hand was recently spotted at a meeting with his lieutenants where two masked kids burst into the room to scream about the kitchen being on fire and pointing at each other yelling “It’s all his fault!”