#find fanfics

[uselessroyals]

yr fanfic reccs - 1 year anniversary editions

I have only been in the fandom for a couple of months, but it's been so much fun, i love our little community and i love all the art and of course the fanfics. which i have read quite a lot of SO here is a little list of some of my favourites that i think people should definitely check out! All of these also exist in a google docs here, if that's easier to see. so, without further ado, i present, the list:

Oneshots

"let's start a revolution" by huojuvuus

G, 1k words, What if, Wilhelm admitted it was him in the video, Fluff

"eyes full of stars" by buttercupkisses

G, 3k words, What if, Erik surprises Wilhelm at the parent’s lunch and meets Simon, Fluff

"grin" by but_at_least_i_have_an_iced_coffee 

T, 2.1k words, What if, Erik fell into a coma instead of dying and now he's awake, but knows nothing about the sex scandal or Simon or Wilhelm's less-than-straightness, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

"Show me how (you care)" by orphan_account 

T, 3.1k words, Season 1, Retelling from Simon's pov, Introspection, Hurt/Comfort

"a baby heart attack, if you will" by paldogangsaan 

T, 9.7k words, Pre-canon, Wilhelm’s mother sets him up with a respectable rich girl who just happens to make a deal with Wilhelm to give the queen of Sweden a “non-lethal heart attack.” (For legal reasons, that is a joke), WLW/MLM solidarity, Fake Dating, Humor, Hurt/Comfort

"The worst things in life come free to us" by ageminiheart 

NR, Chose not to use warnings, 2.5k words, Season 1, Episode 5, Simon’s pov of Lucia night, Angst

“i wonder how you view me” by peonyseas

T, 3.1k words, Season 1, Episode 1 and 2, Simon’s pov of the events leading up to their first kiss, Fluff

“breathe in” by rainingover

T, 2.5k words, Season 1, The morning after, Simon and Wilhelm talk about how they got here, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort 

“she didn’t tell me to stop” by fishscalesky

M, 1.6k words, Season 1, Wilhelm struggles with self harm, Hurt/Comfort

"we could call it even" by loyaulte_me_lie 

T, 12.7k words, Post season 1, eight years after the fact, Simon and Wilhelm fall back into each other’s orbits, this time everything goes right, Angst, Fluff

"the revolution will not be televised (but it will be put on instagram)" by pissedofsandwich 

T, 17.9k words, Post season 1, Simon deals with the immediate aftermath of Wilhelm's denial, Felice and Wilhelm concoct a juvenile plan to get the invasive press off Simon's back, Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort

"worst kept secret in history" by toffeelemon 

G, 10k words, Post season 1, Wilhelm decides to say fuck what people think and fix his relationship with Simon, Fluff

"you're everything i have (and i don't think i've had enough)" by storyoftucks 

G, 2.1k words, Post season 1, Wilhelm bumps into Simon at a party and they finally get the chance to talk about them and their relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

"This Boy" by fandom_commitment_issues 

T, Underage, 10.3k words, Post season 1, Wilhelm comes home for Christmas and Kristina invites his friend from his old school over, Hurt/Comfort

"Let Me Go" by paspeurpasseul 

T, Chose not to use warnings, 2.6k words, Post season 1, Wilhelm and Simon talk for the first time since Christmas break, it's harder than Wilhelm thought it would be to see Simon smile again, especially when that smile isn't directed at him, Angst

"forget me not" by spa_ghetto 

T, 6.7k words, Post canon, Simon hits his head and gets temporary amnesia, Established relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"Dandelions" by willehelms 

G, Chose not to use warnings, 1.4k words, Post canon, Wilhelm is tipsy and in love, Established relationship, Fluff

“was it worth it?” by hannakin

NR, Major Character Death, 8.5k words, Post season 1, in the years following the whole nation witnesses the Crown Prince’s downfall, Angst

“slide tackle” by pulses

T, 5.2k words, Post season 1, The last time Wilhelm ever spoke to his brother, Erik had laughed at him and said, “just pretend you're someone else”, for what it's worth: he'd tried, Introspection, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

"only fools rush in" by toffeelemon 

G, 22.3k words, Hillerska AU, It actually wasn’t Wilhelm in the video and Simon and Wilhelm are best friends, Friends to lovers, Slow burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"and they were roommates" by toffeelemon 

M, Underage, 28.5k words, Hillerska AU, Simon is a boarder and he and Wilhelm are roommates, Friends to lovers, Angst, Fluff

“Summer ‘68” by Lizzie_Morgenstern

T, 3.2k words, 60’s AU, A chance meeting during an engagement in England leads to Prince Wilhelm of Sweden getting high, confronting some inner fears, and thinking a little too much about a kimono-wearing, golden-skinned boy, Fluff

“oh christmas tree” by Elin98

NR, 6.7k words, AU, Wilhelm doesn’t go to Hillerska, he knocks a christmas tree into Simon’s head at the Hillerska choir’s christmas concert, Fluff, Humor

“opening hours? never heard of them” by Elin98

T, Chose not to use warnings, 11.2k words, AU, Simon works at the local corner shop, Wilhelm is that annoying customer that stumbles in just as he's about to close, much to Simon's dismay, for some reason the prince keeps coming back, Humor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

“5 times the students of Hillerska didn’t realize Wille and Simon were together + 1 time they definitely did” by Piebingo

T, Underage, 8.4k words, Hillerska AU, As the title suggest, Oblivious classmates, Humor, Fluff

Multichaps

“Other people’s secrets” by Sflow

M, Chose not to use warnings, 238.5k words, 33/33 chpt, Season 1 + Post season 1, In the last weeks before Christmas, Henry learns a few things he isn’t meant to know, makes amends with Simon, and gets caught between conflicting loyalties. In the spring, those lessons bring unexpected outcomes for him and his friends, old and new, Plot, Redemption arc, Scheming, Hurt/Comfort, Slow burn, Friends to lovers, Fluff

“5 times Linda was a good mom to Wille + 1 time Kristina was a good mom” by Piebingo

T, Underage, 20.4k words, 6/6 chpt, Season 1, As the title suggest, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

“You are real, and I am real” by yrbby

T, Major character death, 77.2k words, 10/10 chpt, Season 1, Simon goes back to find Wilhelm after he finds out about his brother’s death and grief helps their relationship grow, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"We should just kiss (like real people do)" by sofia_with_an_f 

M, Underage, 30.9k words, 15/? chpt, Post season 1, character study of Wilhelm, Introspection, Angst

"international relations" by spa_ghetto 

T, 21.7k words, 5/5 chpt, RWRB crossover, Post season 1, Simon runs into Alex Claremont-Diaz on the bus and they become friends, Humor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

"Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart" by notalotgoingonatthisinstant 

M, 49.5k words, 10/10 chpt, Post season 1, Simon gets a serious head injury and it might be the last straw for Wilhelm to gather the courage to blackmail his mother, Angst, Plot, Hurt/Comfort

"my kingdom come undone" by tennisfangirl 

M, Chose not to use warnings, 9.2k words, 3/3 chpt, Post season 1, Wilhelm goes looking for salvation at the bottom of a bottle, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

"call me back" by paldogangsaan 

M, Chose not to use warnings, 15.8k words, 6/6 chpt, Post season 1, Wilhelm attempts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

"Answer Me This" by BishopRose 

T, 10.2k words, series, 2 works, Post season 1, What if Wilhelm and Simon both eventually moved on, heartbroken, but never really stopped thinking about what could have been? What if they thought they’d never see each other again... until suddenly, years later, Fate stepped in, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

“if hurting wounds could mend (never left that place inside my head)” by Lire_Casander

T, 29k words, 36/36 chpt, Post season 1, Wilhelm gets in a car accident and Kristina figures out how to be a mother again, Introspection, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Chosen Family” and “Get What You Deserve” by QueenKatelynTheAristocrat

T, 17.3k words, series: 2 works, RWRB crossover, Post season 1, After the video is leaked to the public, Wilhelm calls his cousin Prince Henry of Wales for help, Henry and Alex proceed to drop everything for a trip to Sweden to rescue him, Hurt/Comfort

“my favorite crime” by numinousliebe

G, 9.7k words, 3/3 chpt, Post season 1, There’s nothing that matters, once Simon is there, right in front of him, nothing else, nobody exists. He wishes Simon was here right now, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Make Me Feel Something” by photographer_of_thoughts

M, 25.8k words, 8/8 chpt, Post season 1, The boys have to go through a whole lot of hurt and healing before they can find their way back to each other, Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort

“it takes a fool (but we both are so it’s okay)” by cl0udy_mi1k

T, Underage, 33.9k words, series, 3 works, Post season 1, Between Christmas and New Years, Simon's friends tell him to check instagram, Fluff

“My Baby’s Dancing (With Another Man)” by Wilmonskiss

G, 2.7k words, 2/2 chpt, Post season 1, A new student at Hillerska who shares Simon's ideals, and a jealous Wilhelm at an end of year dance at Hillerska, Angst, Fluff

“on-campus” by spa_ghetto

T, 70.8k words, 27/27 chpt, Post season 1, After the Christmas break Simon and Sara come back to Hillerska as boarders, Wilhelm tries to figure out why this feels off, Plot, Slow burn, Scheming, Hurt/Comfort

"call me up late" by royalwilmon 

T, 29.1k words, 20/20 chpt, Texting AU, Simon gets the wrong number from a classmate and accidentally texts Wilhelm instead, Hidden identity, Fluff, Humor

"only fools remain sane" by Elin98 

NR, Chose not to use warnings, 40.5k words, 11/11 chpt, Hillerska AU, Wilhelm convinces Simon that they should fake date to see if the Crown's recent announcement of accepting same-sex relationships is legit or just for show, Fake dating, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise?" by millie_cheesesteak 

M, 60.5k words, 11/12 chpt, Hillerska AU, Simon's toxic ex starts at hillerska and Wilhelm decides to help simon show him that he's moved on, Roommates, Fake dating, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"A Royal Intervention" by AnxiousAnaconda 

T, 17.8k words, 8/8 chpt, AU, Erik doesn’t die, and he is a slightly overprotective older brother, Plot, Hurt/Comfort

"the way you look at me" by strummerjoe 

T, 33.7k words, 13/13 chpt, University AU, Simon didn’t go to Hillerska, him and Wilhelm are roommates at university, Friends to lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

"and each slow dusk" by loyaulte_me_lie 

M, Graphic violence, 48.5k words, 3/3 chpt, AU, two months after Wilhelm’s arrival at Hillerska, war breaks out, when his and Erik's last-ditch attempt to leave the country goes badly wrong, he ends up stuck in Bjärstad - with Simon, Plot, Politics, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

“home is where I want to be (but I guess I’m already there)” by millie_cheesesteak

M, Chose not to use warnings, 19.4k words, 5/5 chpt, University AU, Wilhelm gets sent to a University in Wisconsin after the fight, Simon is the cute classmate who works in the local coffee shop, Hidden Identity, Fluff

[mebssann]

Hair routine and rituals

[genkioo]

Something's been on my mind lately.. Y'all ever read a fanfic about Bakugou being a deadbeat dad? And Reader ends up with Todoroki

So this is how it goes.. Bakugou and Reader have a kid butttt.. they're not together! The kid gets neglected by Bakugou and only sometimes gets his attention. This is where Todoroki steps in, being the wonderful father-figure for the kid.

The fic has multiple parts + an alt. ending (VERY angsty)

One of the parts I can remember is the Bakugou's kid is older now and attending UA. They spend sone time together on a walk and the kid is very cold to him. It ends with reconciliation. Alt ending, not so much..

If anyone knows this fic, pls lemme know! I really want my brain to rest

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a well deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

[fonulyn]

since I've seen it talked about in several places recently:

if you are going to do a whump- or kink- or ANY-tober or other similar challenges please please please don't post them as one fic with 31 chapters unless it actually is one coherent fic. if they're 31 completely separate fics or ficlets then please just make a collection for them or just post them as separate fics. it doesn't matter if they're only 100 words or if you think they're too small or insignificant to post alone, they're not.

and why this?

because if you post all 31 of them in one fic the tagging is absolutely useless. if I look for things to read on ao3 I'm gonna look at the tags, and if the tags include something that's a dealbreaker for me, i won't even click on the fic. I might not even SEE the fic because I've filtered out the nope-tag! so I'm gonna lose out on reading 30 perfectly nice fics because of one fic that my nope-tag applied to.

ao3 is about archiving. it's about clear tagging and being informative. there is nothing informative about it if the tags in the fic apply to random chapters while others have nothing to do with it. it makes so much more sense to have each work as an individual fic with its own individual tags and warnings, so readers can make informed choices.

of course, you do you. I can't police what other people decide to do. but personally, I find it incredibly frustrating to weed through 31 chapters to find the ones I actually want to read. so I don't. I automatically scroll past all works posted like that. and I know some others do, too.

there is absolutely no shame in posting short things on ao3. there is no minimum word count. no one is going to look at you funny if you post a small ficlet on its own, I promise. it's just going to make some readers very happy when they can actually find the things they want to read.

so, please. at least consider the upsides of posting each work as their own fic.

signed, one very frustrated fandom grandma.

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[kyri45]

[hellouniversehowareyou]

precious idiots

[zylev-blog]

Danny and Sam were enjoying a date out in Metropolis when it happened. Superman had been mind controlled again, and was taking hostages. Neither Danny or Sam were worried, and were amongst the only people not running for their lives. They just sat outside the cafe, sipping their coffee and eating their food. As the ground began to rumble, they simply picked their coffee cups and held them in their hands to not spill the coffee within.

“So then Tucker says, ‘not my pda!’” Danny finishes, laughing along with Sam.

“I swear, he loves that thing more than life!” Sam laughs.

That’s when they heard it. The sunlight outside got a shade darker, and Sam and Danny turned to see the outline of Superman hovering in front of them. They both glanced at him, then at each other.

With a loud sigh, Danny out down his coffee. “Can you move a little to the left, Superman? You’re blocking the sunlight.”

Without warning, Superman reached out and grabbed Sam, who was closer to him. Sam grunted out in surprise as she was lifted into the air by her neck. Danny looked unconcerned.

“Seriously?” Sam asked, gesturing at Superman. “You’re going to ruin my necklace.”

“I don’t think he’s worried about your necklace, babe.” Danny leaned against the table, watching the encounter.

“Well, he should be!” Sam exclaimed. “I paid good money for it!”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re impossible. We can just buy you another one once he stops choking you.”

“It’s not really like he’s going to get anywhere.” Sam agreed.

Superman seemed to take offense to this. His grip on her neck tightened, and while Sam’s face did flush red, she wasn’t gasping for breath or having her neck snapped.

“You remember the other day when I said Black Canary could strangle me and I’d be happy about it?” Sam asked, her voice a little breathless.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, wondering where she as going with this.

“I like Superman choking me better. He would probably be better at it than a human.” Sam grinned at the Kryptonian.

“Shouldn’t he at least buy you dinner first?” He asked.

“You know, most boyfriends don’t talk so freely about their girlfriends being choked by other guys.” Sam pointed out.

“You’re right.” He agreed.

“But this is getting kinda weird. Superman, do you mind letting me go? This isn’t really working for me anymore.” Sam pointed to the ground.

A large crowd had started to gather around them. Some looked horrified, while others looked curious. Curious at Sam, who hadn’t died yet. Superman made no moves to remove his hand from her neck.

“Hey babe?” Sam asked.

“Yeah?” He took another sip of his coffee, completely calm.

“Can you record me beating up Superman so we can send it to your sister?”

“Why her?” He tilted his head.

“Little sister.” Sam clarified.

“Ohh. Yeah, sure, she’d love that.” He took a second and pulled his phone out—a latest WayneTech model. “Go for it.”

Sam wrapped her hand around Superman’s, and with an audible snap, broke his hand and pulled it off of her neck. Superman gasped in pain, but Sam wasn’t done yet. She proceeded to judo flip him and send him crashing to the Earth while she continued to hover in the air. She clapped her hands together and cracked her knuckles.

“This is going to be fun.” Sam grinned wickedly.

“You know, I could just touch his temple and cure him of the mind control.” He offered, but continued to record Sam.

“Don’t spoil my fun.” Sam flipped him off, then dove towards the ground. She kicked Superman in the nuts, then kneed him in the face hard enough to draw blood. She punched him a few more times until he fell unconscious.

Danny got up and stopped the recording. He walked over to his girlfriend and looked at the unconscious Superman. He bent over the man and pressed a finger to the man’s temple. Blue power briefly illuminated Superman’s skin, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“You’re going to cause trouble for us.” He chastised her.

“But you love it.” Sam took his hand. “Let’s go home.”

She flew into the air first, but Danny took another second to dig into his wallet, leaving a $20 bill on the table they were sitting at. He then flew into the air after Sam, chasing her all the way to Amity Park.

—————

Six months later, and Danny and Sam were on another outing in Gotham when they were interrupted by Batman. They pulled a chair up for him, and eventually the man took it. They ordered him a coffee and a bagel.

“So, what brings you here?” Danny asked casually.

“How did you defeat Superman?” Batman asked, straight to the point.

“Huh?” Sam asked. “When did we do that?”

“Six months ago.” Batman responded.

“Ohh, wait— remember the day we went to Metropolis?” He hummed.

“Oh. I already forgot about that. Superman’s not pressing charges, is he?” Sam asked. “I do have a good lawyer, he’s just an asshole to deal with.”

“No, he is not pressing charges.” Batman grunted.

“Then what’s this about?” He asked, tilting his head.

Without answering, Batman opened a box on his lap. At once, the kryptonite took effect of both Sam and Danny, making their skin turn green and to writhe in pain. Just as Danny was about to take the box from Batman by force, the man had closed the lid and tucked it away.

“I had my suspicions.” Batman said, as if that explained everything. “So how did two more Kryptonians land on Earth when the planet was destroyed thirty years ago?”

[magicaltimelady44]

so like. if anyone else, like me, still has the occasional fanfic they follow on fanfiction.net, and hasn't been getting the update emails for the longest time and was wondering if ti meant the site is on its last legs

no

no they've done something stupid as fuck

you have to opt back in to getting the emails/notifications of new chapters every six months, because they automatically assume you don't want to know when the fics you followed for the updates have updated

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

when you're camping in the forest but you need wood to keep warm 😏

[sotwk]

Many fanfic writers and artists are just one bad day or one discouraging experience away from throwing in the towel and leaving your fandom.

If you don't want to risk this happening to a favorite creator of yours, today might be a good day to let them know how much their work means to you. :)

[demonboyhalo]

and ik discovering the fanfic sex pollen effect of the sephora spider sex cream must've been traumatizing but this is much funnier than the lemonade that just kills you

[scoupsofjisung]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ texting bang chan happy father’s day (best dad of 7 kids fr)

🧸 paring: bang chan x f! reader

🧸 warnings: mentioned implied possible pregnancy as part of a joke, brushed past v quickly

🧸 author rambles: i’m just having fun at this point guys, and i have the most schoolgirl crush on chan thus my urge to flirt with him and threaten everyone and anyone for him. maybe surprisingly, gift giving is my lowest love language, however it’s an easy way to show u care fr. go pick a flower from outside and give it to someone u love asap 🫵

masterlist

blog info post!

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy